#So I’m tryna get used to being able to backtrack

[theselfshippingrose]

Edward honey please stop making my life harder and just give me the god damn trophy🙏

[mari-the-bimbo]

Hi! Can I request dorm mate Sukuna with a reader whose suddenly really clingy to him?

I LOVE UR WRITING I HOPE UR DOING GOOD❤️😞😞😞

Dorm mate Sukuna: clingy days

A/N: Aww I’m doing good thanks bubs <3 Also sorry for the late upload ya’ll! My makeup looked good and then I took so many pics of myself I lost track of time 😫

Dorm mate Sukuna was just drinking some beer in the dorm kitchen, when he heard your pitter patter behind him.

But just as he was about to turn around to greet you, you hugged him from behind, surprising the man. He laughs nonetheless, everything you do is amusing and cute to him.

“You tryna fight me lil one?” He asks with a grin, thinking you wanted to play fight as usual.

You mumble something incoherently, so he tries to gain your attention the only way he knows. He grabs your arms and traps them into his hold, then manhandling you around until you were in front of him.

“Gotcha” he says in his husky voice, grinning as he bit your ear playfully.

“Owww” you whined.

“Stop whining you lil cry baby” he says half heartedly, as it contradicted the way he held you and swayed you side to side just like a baby.

“I don’t wanna wrestle ‘kuna I wanna cuddle” you tell him honestly with a pout. Usually that would’ve wiped the smile off his face but the cute pout made it impossible for him to not give in.

He sighs, pretending he wasn’t bothered, “fine, we can cuddle brat, since you wanna act so cutesy about it” he teases while poking your pout with his finger.

“Thank you” you say softly, immediately resting your head on Sukuna’s broad shoulder, nuzzling your face into him, making the man’s heart soar.

He gave in easily. Now you rested in his bed, as he held you with one arm while you cuddled, engulfing you into his large form. His heavy, tatted hand strokes your head as his non verbal way to comfort you.

And your urge to stay in your man’s warmth today caused you to have no concept of time on how long you were cuddling him, until of course you heard his deep hoarse voice in your ear, telling you he has to go.

You cling tighter to his muscular tatted arm, not ready to let go. He chuckles at your antics.

“C’mon y/n, be a good girl and let go. I gotta visit the store before they close” he says. You sigh, finally letting go as you sat up with him.

But just when he thought you were done, you drop your head onto his lap in protest. “Only if I can come with you” you say.

You start to question whether you were pushing your luck when he stared down at you blankly, no expression in his eyes. Was you starting to annoy him? You forgot how scary Sukuna actually was.

But just as you’re about to backtrack your decision and started to sit up again, he grabs you by the back of your neck and pulls you into a rough kiss.

He kisses you passionately, refusing to let go only until you pushed him away, no longer able to hold himself back.

As you pull away, breathing harshly, he presses his head onto yours before speaking “why the fuck are you being so cute huh?”

“Hm?” He presses as he brushes your loose strands away from your face and grabs your chin, catching you by surprise.

Once your initial shock was over, you lean into him again, and look up at him before answering honestly again. “Because I’m feeling clingy, girlfriends want to be with their boyfriends when feeling clingy kuna” you say.

“Oh? Is that so?”

You nod in response. Cute. So fucking cute, to the point he doesn’t know what to say, but it’s a no brainer it makes him very VERY happy.

He smiles cheekily before grabbing you, making you yelp. He throws you over his shoulder as he leaves his room.

“Good to know” he says as he smacks your ass.

Maybe one day the pink haired thug will get used to voicing how much he loves clingy you <3

[t0sshii]

5-10-17

so i decided to write this post because i’ve been having some things on my mind and i haven’t really been able to get them off my chest

ok let’s backtrack to the beginning of college--last year. i really thought once i hit college it would be a fresh start. i can change who i was. because i didn’t like who i was in high school. too quiet. too shy. awkward when not around friends. i wanted to be like one of my childhood friends. she’s my opposite. outgoing. extra-friendly. everyone she meets loves her instantly.. smart. me? pretty forgettable. introverted. if you meet me the first time, chances are i’ll have to reintroduce myself the second time because i was so quiet the first time. 

but freshman year was literally one of the loneliest times in my life. sure, it was great in the beginning: i was roommates with one of my friends from high school and wooo i started dating my boyfriend. it was pretty awesome. i thought i was becoming this new and improved person who had fun and went out to do shit my parents would never let me do back home.

i don’t know what changed? my roommate got new friends and suddenly i realized im the same person i was in high school. i’m not blaming her for making friends, though that’s great. i was honestly glad for her she didn’t have just me to hang out with. not gonna lie, i’m pretty boring. but when she introduced me to these new friends, i become very quiet. awkward. extra boring. uncomfortable. and yeah, that was me in high school whenever i wasn’t with my friends. even if i have a friend there, if i don’t know anyone else, i’m like a fish out of water. i don’t know what to say. my roommate became friends with the people around us in the building and it was pretty awesome for her. me? same old same old. no friends other than my roommate, my boyfriend, and my best friend back home. great. 

but yeah, felt extremely alone. i talked to literally no one outside of class. i wanted to hang out with people, but i never went out unless i was invited. or spoke unless i was spoken to. but you know. those never happened because no one knew who i was? it was a bad cycle. 

and i felt so lonely i cried on my pasta in the cafeteria and had to run to the church and cry by myself.....more than once.  

fast forward to spring semester. i don’t know what changed? i started hanging out with our neighbors since they were the same major as me. i had a class with someone who later became one of my close friends. and i feel really bad for this, but i got so excited, i started to spend more time with them than my roommate. distance between us grew and then i found myself being a fish out of water in my own room. did some very regrettable things and i ended my freshman year as someone i didn’t want to be. and i still haven’t talked to my old roommate about what happened? but apparently everything seems fine? we still talk and say hello. but not as close as we were before. i miss her though. 

honestly, without her, my boyfriend, and my friend back home i would have cried in church by myself a lot more than i did. 

fall semester of sophomore year. yay. new slate. new roommate, had a great conversation with my old one, starting clinicals, group of friends. it’s going to be awesome. it was. i had all of my classes with one of my friends and it was great. we got closer. and i really felt like i was coming out of my shell. my relationship has been great. my coworkers are pretty cool and it’s fun hanging out with them after staff meetings. sure, i liked my alone time. that’s never going to change, but i really felt like i was becoming a person i want to be. i made friends with a few people in my clinical group. laughed a lot. didn’t cry because i was lonely once. i’m very grateful to my friend because she made me comfortable enough to be more myself. end of fall semester, i was definitely happier. 

these are just brief summaries so i can get to the present lol 

and now this semester. i had clinicals with my friend and my roommate which was awesome. honestly, i wouldn’t be as open without them. i became closer with my roommate too because we had all our classes together. relationship is still awesome (he still makes me happy. butterflies still there. ew gross. ok stop being cheesy). i can say “hi” to a lot more people than i did freshman year that’s for sure. 

but i feel like i’m becoming the person i was freshman year again. i’m starting to rely on my roommate, my boyfriend, and my friend back home (who i literally text all times of the day) for my needed doses of human interaction. like night skype with my boyfriend is what i look forward too.

the above things themselves aren’t bad. in fact, they’re great! it’s nice to have supports to fall back on and people who are there for you. and people who love you. and i’m really lucky they’re in my life.   

but idk. i feel like i should be hanging out with more people, too? like work more on becoming this super outgoing person that i want to be? but i really just want to stay in bed and do nothing all the fucking time. and it’s so annoying because there’s one part of me that wants to leave and go out and have fun and live like every single day. and then there’s the other part that wants to say no to invites, stay indoors, cuddle my stuffed sloth, lie down, and stay that way. what’s wrong with me haha

but yeah. friends have other friends. but me? still keep within the friend group and work group. sure, i talk to some other people, but it’s like acquaintance talk?  i don’t know. i thought i was changing. but i guess i’m not. i don’t really even go out anymore except for fridays with my roommate--which are fun, i look forward to them. she’s a great person to be around and we laugh a lot together. 

should be fine right? i have friends at least. i love my roommate. i love my boyfriend. i can’t wait to go home to hang out with my fiends back home. so what’s the problem? why do i still feel lonely sometimes?  i shouldn’t. i reaaaallllyyyyy  shouldn’t.

 i’m becoming a fish out of water again. and it sucks. so much. because someone told me that they wish people got to know me more because i’m actually? pretty? cool? i guess? i wish more people got to know me more too. but clinicals is over and i feel like i’m missing out on my chance for some really good friends in that group because i need years to fucking open up or whatever. i just feel like i’m missing out because i still can’t hold a conversation and i have this tendency to overthink my conversations after they happen. 

and i’m scared of having to start all over again with a new group. and this time no friends to use as an anchor. and i know it shouldn’t even be a problem because i’m going to clinicals to learn. still. the anxiety is there. 

i just want to be one of those people who smile a lot and can have a conversation with literally anyone and can meet new people and not have to mentally prepare conversations in their head. 

none of this made sense my bad. i can’t put my feelings into words really well--still tryna figure out how to describe how i’m feeling? still have more to say so look forward (or not?) to more posts. honestly, i think i just sound like a little baby who makes a big deal out of nothing.

 i guess we all go through rough patches. to quote heathers: “if you were happy all the time, you wouldn’t be human. you’d be a gameshow host.” 

but yeah. other than that. semester’s been great. HESI got me fucked up though. idk. 

i know i don’t really sound happy in this post, but actually am. like in this point in my life i’d rate my happiness like.... 7/10. this stuff is mostly late night thoughts, or back of my mind thinking i try to suppress. like don’t worry about me, guys. other than this stuff i’m fine :) 

p.s. i'm very thankful my boyfriend, roommates (old and current), and my friends back home, and friends here for keeping me (somewhat?) sane and laughing. cause i forget negativity when i’m with them.

[inyoureyesiseestars]

Sexuality, Gender, Being Wild?

warning, some of this is tmi LOL

This was probably dumb. But I’m going through a really weird time in my life. I’m constantly on this “I’m down” & “Fuck It” mentality.  And I dunno I’m just tryna have fun too. Like don’t get me wrong, C is still my number one, and I really should tell her soon, but idk since we’re not actually together, and she’s having her fun, I should be able too also. Idk our situation is complicated. and that’s another story. But let’s move on with the story for this post and for it, we have to back track just for a little background info in case you didn’t know.

Summer 2016, kissed a guy for the first time at EDC.  Super sweet gay guy, he was just tryna boost my confidence and go shirtless cause it was hot/humid outside LOL but because of my insecurities, he was understanding and was like “honey, one day I hope you’re comfortable enough to come here however you want, and to be comfortable in your own skin, cause you’re beautiful. And this is EDC hun, no one cares what you are or what you look like cause everyone loves you, welcome home.”  And I shared such a beautiful moment with him I asked him to be my first guy kiss. He thought I said first kiss LOL but after telling him like oh no, I’ve only been with girls, I’ve never kissed a guy, he hella madeout with me LMAO.

Since then, there actually have been a good amount of guys that have hit on/danced with me at raves. Always kinda weird but who cares you know? We’re al just vibing.  Fast forward to Countdown. This one dude danced with me, and again I was like whatever it’s fine, we’re all on good vibes here. But next thing I know he was like, “dude” and I was like “what?” and he started making out with me LOL And I don’t know, I didn’t mind it at all. He actually kissed me again before my group and I left to another stage to go watch a different set.

(And don’t get me wrong, I’ve been making out with a lot of girls too LOL but that’s besides the point) So point is, I’d been thinking about it for awhile and I’m okay with kissing guys or whoever really. And no, I’m not straight or anything. Cause I’m queer. Being both a boy and girl, and sometimes neither, I’m genderfluid. So, I choose to identify as queer. I’m also okay with the term gay (but that’s because I also like to use it as an umbrella term). So with that, I don’t like being called “lesbian” and haven’t really liked being identified as one. Last time I felt comfortable with that term was when I was maybe a freshman in highschool. But yeah I do know, that it’s Womxn I like and really want. Anyways, going back to this whole guys thing, because of what happened at countdown, I realized that I don’t care about who I makeout with? Because making out with people is fun? And it just really doesn’t matter who it’s with. But lowkey just a little bit curious.

And just backtracking a little, freshman year of college, I used to go on dinner dates. Like I had dating apps and stuff and would go out with women and they’d usually pay for dinner and stuff and that’s it LOL This relates because, I was bored during winter break (after Countdown) and thought “hmm what if I get the app again and change it to both men and women?”  So that’s what I did, and that’s where we tie back in to the very beginning of this post.

So basically, I hooked up with a guy. Cause I don’t know I thought it’d be interesting? I was curious? I’m in a very experimental stage of my life? But going into it, I knew I wasn’t gonna be like sexually attracted or anything. Because I do know, that I like Womxn and I want to end up with one you know? Even once I knew I was okay with kissing whoever, I knew I obviously like girls the most. And I mean this is just information I’ve always known. I’ve just always loved womxn lol

But um yeah, the guy was really polite. He agreed to stop the moment I said stop or no, no matter what we were doing at any point. He also knew that we weren’t going to go all the way or anything and respected that. And I had let two friends know where I was and who I was with so they could check up on me. I even had like “weapons” on me just in case. Sorry if this is tmi but yeah, we really didn’t do anything other than like makeout/dryhump for like 40 minutes cause then after he said he had to go. Lowkey (sorry if this is tmi again), I know he left too because he was basically getting blue balls and knew I wouldn’t do anything with his dick LOL  But honestly huge props to him for not being  a creep/weird, and for being a very respectable, nice guy. #sorrynotsorry dude LOL

Pero, yeah that’s my wild story that just happened today. And I know this post was all over the place but that’s just how everything spilled out of my head. So in conclusion, I literally have no chill and am too fucking wild. But actually, it does make me feel a lot better about myself knowing I have game with anyone tho LOL so yeah that’s it with this post.