#So I'm putting all of that next chapter >:)

[kawaiigirly21]

Our Little Soda Pop: Chapter 7

“P-pregnant? You? How? When? Who!?” Natasha watched as Abby tried to make sense of her ‘sudden’ pregnancy. As if the 5 of them hadn't been dicking her down for weeks at that point. Especially Jinu and Mystery. “Well, when a man and woman love each other very much-” Baby started with a smart alec tone making Abby hit him upside his head with an empty soda can with their faces on it. “Fucking dumbass.” He muttered. “Guys, read the fucking room. She's obviously scared about this.” Romance replied as he took Natasha's hand in his gently.

“Sweetie? Are you ok?” Jinu asked as he offered her a hot cup of tea. “I… I never got pregnant before. I never thought about it before..” That was a lie. She thought about it all the time. She always wanted to be a mother but she couldn't tell them that. They were young. They had their whole lives ahead of them. She couldn't ruin their youth by making them fathers so soon. “I think I'll-” “Can I listen?” Jinu asked. “Listen?” “The fluctuations of the soul… I've been able to listen to them now. Can I listen to it?” Nodding, Natasha lifted her shirt and watched as Jinu put his head to her stomach then after a minute, smiled.

“Oh it's strong. It's definitely a fighter.” He chuckled. “You're gonna be a mama. And we're gonna be dads.” Mystery smiled softly. “Who's the biological father though?” Abby pondered before grabbing a drink from the fridge. “Well we know it's not Jinu.” Baby smirked. “What!? Why couldn't it be me!?” Jinu asked offended as he moved his head from his lover's stomach. “We never seen you two fuck. What makes you think it is you?” Romance added with a teasing smile. Jinu suddenly pulled out his phone and pressed play on a recording he had made.

‘Oh fuck! Jinu! Deeper! Mm! Fuck me!!’ The recording was of him and Natasha in the recording studio. He had her bent over the table with one hand holding her head down while the other held her arms behind her back. ‘Good little minx. You just couldn't wait until I was done working could you?’ Baby then shrugged and held up his hands in a mock form of surrender. “My bad. I didn't know you was fucking her like that.” A tiny bit jealous, Mystery laid his head on Natasha's shoulder. “I hope it's mine…” He mumbled.

“Hey, if it's not, we still have plenty of time afterwards to impregnate her with our own seed.” Abby grinned. “Fertile soil provides the best fruits.” Romance replied. “Lest we tend the soil with care to bring a more astounding crop.” Mystery added nuzzling his head into Natasha's neck. “Why are you guys talking about me like I'm a garden!? And the baby is not produce!” The next day, as the others rested from their concert the night before, Jinu awoke early to find Natasha missing in bed. Then, a sweet delicious smell filled his nose and he inwardly groaned.

She was up cooking for them. Even after they told her they would make their own meals for the time being.

Yawning heavily, the man dragged himself to the kitchen, in which upon entering, his suspicions were correct. Natasha was cooking omelets in one skillet and rushing to scoop rice into bowls for them afterwards. “Sweetie…Come back to bed… you're supposed to be resting.” Jinu sighed. “I'm not showing yet and I've only thrown up 3 times this morning. I'm on a roll. I find keeping myself busy really helps with the morning sickness.” Natasha smiled brightly.

She looked to be full of energy, but looks could be deceiving. Her legs were trembling slightly and her caramel complexion looked slightly pale. She was pushing herself through her sickness to cook for her lovers. How sweet. And incredibly dumb. “Sweetie, let me take over. You need to at least sit down.” Jinu stepped forward to take the spatula from her hand. “What? No! I'm fine! I'm so f-fine. Like the both of you…” She mumbled. “Both? Oh no, you need to lay down. Now.” He scooped her up and placed her on the couch.

Draping a warm blanket over her and kissing her forehead. “I'll finish breakfast. You stay here. And I mean it.” He said in a serious tone before walking back to the kitchen. A few minutes later, Baby emerged from the bedroom. “Why are you up so damn early? Where's Natasha?” He was always a grump in the morning. “First off, it's 8:30 and second, she's on the couch. She decided to make breakfast. After we told her not to drain herself.” Jinu replied. “Damn babe. You must really like putting yourself through a bunch of unnecessary shit. On another note… your tits are fatter. I like.” Baby smirked as he laid on the couch next to her.

“Mm go away. My tits are a normal size…” Natasha mumbled as Baby pulled her on top of him. Her head laying on his chest. “Sure babe. Sure.” Not long after, the others soon arrived. “Damn I'm so hungry I could eat a horse.” Abby yawned. “Oh wow, love the savagery. It's so you.” Romance grumbled trying to wake up and still a little bitter about how Abby kept kicking him in his sleep. “Food please.” Mystery watched as Jinu set the table before taking his seat. Turning his head, he then scrambled out of his seat towards Natasha.

“Is she alright?” Baby nodded as he petted her head while she slept. “She's so cute. Makes you forget she's hundreds of years older than us and probably capable of killing us in just one strike.” Romance smiled softly. “I love her.” Mystery replied with such fondness leaving the rest in shock. They felt the same but to actually hear the words aloud… it was a feeling they couldn't describe. “Me too dude…” Abby spoke. “I love her as well.” Romance smiled. “Yea. I love her too. Hard not to.” Baby added. “We all love her. Deeply.” Jinu responded as he stood next to Abby.

Finding that they were too comfortable near the couch, the group decided to have breakfast in the living room while watching TV with the volume on low to not disturb Natasha. As Jinu's eyes drifted around the room, he smiled to himself. This was home. This was family. And he would die before anyone would try to destroy it.

[lush-escape]

The Vigilante's Guide to Grief

pairing: Jason Todd x f!reader wc: 1.3k a/n: sorry for the slow update - work was crazy. being a stand in hotel housekeeper is no joke. i cleaned up a LEECH. if you or anyone you know leaves their hotel room looking like a pig sty? your mom's a hoe. also I messed up on the last chapter's title - ignore that, I fixed it. prev: shock next: anger

Stage two: Denial

Hey,

It's Friday the 13th. We should be watching scary movies right now like we do every year. The classics. Halloween, scary movie, Friday the 13 obviously. A new final destination came out. You always loved watching those stupid movies, making fun of everyone's stupid choices. Christy (the stupid therapist who's not that stupid) told me it can be “healing” to keep traditions like that alive. I think it's dumb. No one will ever have commentary like you do. No one else in the family can handle horror movies like you do. It wouldn't be the same. Besides - that was our thing. You and me. Ever since we were kids.

Jason can feel those heavy emotions weighing down on his chest. For a second it's harder to breathe. He takes a second to breathe, to let his mind relax. And then his phone dings. And then again. And again.

With a sigh he picks it up. An influx of messages from the Batfam group chat. Playful warnings to stay safe this Friday the 13th.

“Jay!” You let out an excited little laugh as you curl up into your favorite corner of the couch with a blanket draped over your lap. “Hurry up, you're wasting valuable movie time.”

Jay chuckles lowly from the kitchen of your shared apartment, “‘m almost done in here, baby. Start the movie - I'll be there in a second.” He's in the kitchen getting together snacks on a tray. Popcorn, your favorite candy, cookies.

“No way, I'm not starting it without you. I've been waiting all week for this.” You look over the back of the couch and catch sight of him with his back turned to you. Big, hulking Jason looking soft as ever in your top cramped kitchen getting sweets and snacks. You let out a small sigh, your smile turning soft. There's a warmth that spreads from your chest to your stomach as it hits you just how much you do love him.

“Stop it.” He finally speaks up with a tone of amusement. He knows you so well he doesn't even have to look at you to know you're staring.

“No.” You tease him back, your smile growing more playful. “I can't help it, you're too hot to ignore.”

And even though you can't see his face you know he's blushing.

“Shut up,” You hear him mutter, bashful. “Don't say stupid shit like that.”

You laugh at him, “What? It's true.” Your voice is more loving, adoring, and it makes Jason falter for a split second.

“Whatever, you're crazy.” He teases with a shake of his head before he's in the living room with you.

“Yeah, crazy in love.” You exaggerate batting your eyelashes before popping a piece of popcorn into your mouth.

“God, you're obnoxious.” Jason smirks with a roll of his eyes as he's sitting next to you. He props his feet onto the coffee table in front of the two of you and slings his arm over the back of the couch. A silent invitation for you to cuddle into him which you happily accept.

With your head on Jason's chest and your arm around his stomach he pushes play on the remote and pulls you even closer to him.

“Ready to watch some people die?” He asks and you snort a laugh in response.

part of me hates that they don't get it.

Jason is sidetracking now, putting his every thought down.

They haven't lost anyone like I have. I know they lost you too. They all loved you love you. But they don't get it. Normal things like today? It's just another Friday to them. To me it's one of the days I can't even turn on the tv or look at my phone without thinking of you even more than I already do. It's fucking hard baby. So fucking hard

Jason stops to blink away a tear, “Dammit…” he can hear himself sniffle and he hates it. He clears his throat and continues writing.

Some days I don't want to believe you're gone…

The manor was eerily silent that day. An official two weeks after your death, one after your funeral service. It was a small gathering; the Wayne's, the Kent's, Roy and Lian and your best friend. Your parents didn't show up, blaming Jason and the Wayne family for your “mysterious” death.

Jason doesn't like to think about it. So he doesn't.

As Jason walks through the manor he already knows where everyone is, where to avoid. Duke is on patrol, Damian is doing homework in the library, Tim and B are in the cave working a case, Dick is in Blüdhaven, Steph and Cass are training in the gym.

Except Dick wasn't in Blüdhaven. Jason rounds the corner to the kitchen to find him sitting at the island staring at a cup in front of him.

Jason doesn't greet Dick, not verbally anyway, just gives a grunt of acknowledgement. Dick looks up and he can see how tired Jason is. It makes his heart ache for his little brother. There's stubble on his face, the bags under his eyes are deep and purple.

“Hey,” Dick speaks up. His voice is quiet, a little tired. A sign that he's struggling just a bit. He watches Jason pull a beer from the fridge and he sighs. For once in his life he's <I>nervous</I>. He knows Jason stopped drinking a long time ago for you. It started as a bet that turned into a habit. He's scared to bring it up but there's something nagging at him in his brain to do so.

“Thought you stopped…” Dick mumbles. He sees Jason stiffen.

“Whaddya mean?” Jason asks, he's refusing to look at Dick as he takes a long swig.

Dick hesitates, “The bet… you both-”

“Look,” Jason forces a laugh, it doesn't even sound like him, “what she doesn't know won't hurt her. Just don't say anything and I won't get in trouble.” He jokes.

There's silence. It's heavy and tense and awkward and Dick audibly swallows. He stammers for a second. While still dealing with his own grief he was having to handle Jason's as well. He felt a pit open in his stomach.

“Jay…” Dick's voice is so soft and so tender that it makes Jason turn to face him. And when he does finally turn around Dick can see how hard he's fighting to hold it together.

“What?” Jason asks in a shaky voice.

“She.. there's no one…” Dick doesn't know how to navigate this. “She's not coming back, Jay…” the words came out thick and choked one.

Jason shakes his head and forces on another smile, it doesn't even look human at this point.

“You've always been pretty funny, y'know that.” Another drink of beer. “‘course she's coming back. She just- she's just.. not,” Jason clears his throat “, not here right now. It's fine. She'll be back soon.”

Dick wonders how long Jason's been feeling like this, how long he's been in denial or if it's a new thing he's going through. But part of him is afraid to call Jason out on it, to burst his little bubble of happiness in the midst of his despair. And honestly? A small part of him also wants to believe that you're gone, that you'll be back soon from some little trip or something.

“Oh… yeah, okay. I won't say anything, Jay.” Dick is almost whispering now as he chokes on the lump in his throat.

The part of Jason's brain that knows this is just a defense mechanism is relieved.

“Thanks, Dickie.” He claps Dick on the shoulder as he walks by.

But I know you are. I hate it. I hate accepting it. This

Jason pauses his writing before finally sighing in defeat.

this isn't how it was supposed to be.

taglist: @vellichor01 @thy-crimson-king @theendofthematerialgworl @tinasdcstuff @4rachn3 @cecebookworm

[blessedbucky]

ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝕏𝕀𝕀

pairing: autistic!satoru x suguru x autistic!reader

word count: 12.2k (still yapping)

summary: jealousy is a hell of a thing

tags: autistic!reader; autistic!satoru; and featuring...autistic!megumi! (because like he is literally the most autistic coded of the show); ANGST...ish?; and mentioned sex pollen (a curse made them do it) so i guess kinda dub-con adjacent; jealousy jealousy (olivia rodrigo style); ahhh yes and how can we forget the autistic urge to think things can only be done exactly one (1) way

beautiful people who asked to be tagged 💕: @ichikanu, @iceheartsice, @anders-is-being-a-simp-again, @lexlibrary, @ziggy0stardust, @svntsbunnie

author note: so anyway i take back what i said last chapter and am now like just doing moments of 2010 and 2011 (which is when the prologue is set). this chapter focuses on reader FINALLY figuring it out. next chapter is gonna be FUCKIN. like, pining hardcore yes, but the FWB deal getting established. and the BABY MAKING. and the first five months of pregnancy hehehehe c:<

Story Masterlist

[but i'm gonna stay, 'cause i'm your broken dog]

[JANUARY 2010]

Soy sauce soaks through the fabric of your socks. Glass is shattered on the floor all around you. Nanako and Mimiko are in the other room. A part of your brain acknowledges that you should probably clean up this mess before they make their way in here for dinner, but that part is quiet. It’s drowned out by his words that repeat in your head over and over like a broken record. Your lips are still parted in shock. You should…set your face right. You’re going to make him self-conscious, but…

“What did you say?” Satoru asks before you can. Your eyes flitter over to the kitchen table where he’s paused in chopping vegetables. There’s a blank expression on his face. Too neutral to not be on purpose. He only does that when he wants to hide how he really feels.

“Is it really that shocking that I have a date?” Suguru deadpans. “Thank you both for your faith in me.” He mistakes what you’re upset about…

But…but…why are you upset? Why is your chest so tight with panic right now? This…this should be good news. Logically, you know that. Doesn’t this mean that Suguru is healing? He’s moving on. Moving on—the thought of that alone makes you break out in a cold sweat and the hand clutching at the counter tremble. “But what about your birthday?” Yes. That…that must be what it is. “We always spend it together,” you point out weakly.

“That’s not changing,” he reassures you as his face softens in understanding. “I’m going out for dinner. We can still spend the whole morning and afternoon however you want.”

“We spend the whole day together,” Satoru insists as he puts the knife down on the table forcefully. “What about the girls?”

“I was going to ask you two to watch them, but if you don’t want to then I can always ask Shoko,” he explains with a casual shrug. How can he be so casual? Wait. No. Why…why are you not being casual?“And, yes, I know we usually spend the whole day together on birthdays, but it’s not like we ever have anything planned. I’ll only be gone a few hours.”

Satoru’s got this pinched expression on his face now. “What if I was planning on us taking a trip?”

Suguru sighs in exasperation, knowing that Satoru is being stubborn for no reason. But it’s not for no reason. Because, clearly, Satoru feels the exact way you do right now. That’s why he’s voicing the things you can’t without you two having even talked about it yet.

Suguru crosses his arms over his chest, raising a brow at Satoru. “Have you?”

“No,” you whisper. Satoru’s gaze snaps over to you, eyes burning hot. You immediately look away. This is a good thing, you insist to yourself, desperately trying to believe that. “It’s…um…I’ll watch them.” Foster his healing, foster his healing. “I—” I hope you have a good date, is what you should say but can’t force yourself to. The words are lodged in your throat with all the other emotions. “I…should clean this up…”

You need to do something to keep yourself busy because, right now, you want to cry. Not that you understand why you want to cry so bad. Is it the change of routine? It must be. And you’re being childish, aren’t you, with how you want to stick to this little childhood tradition that you pulled Satoru into. People grow up. They…find dates. It’s what you did. Technically. You can’t keep selfishly clinging to Suguru like this.

“Thank you,” Suguru breathes out with such sincerity that your chest gets tighter. He really wants this. You feel guiltier for being upset about something he’s excited about. “Be careful with the glass,” he warns when you turn around to grab a dish towel to soak up the soy sauce. “Here. Let me grab the broom. Let me get you a wet towel to wash your feet off. I know you hate anything sticky.”

“Okay,” you mumble. If another person comes into his life, will he still know you? Or will those intimate details be replaced with those of another? You shake your head, thankfully out of sight of Suguru. You’re being childish. Greedy.

Your face isn’t right because Suguru comes back in the kitchen and frowns worriedly. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” you blurt. Too forced. Too rushed. He’ll know something is wrong and how are you supposed to explain it without coming off as a bad friend? “I…I feel bad because…is this your only bottle?” Yes. Yes. “I’ll go get some more.” Good. A little time away will give your mind some time to settle. “I’m so sorry.”

“Squid, it’s fine. Don’t cry.” Wrong thing for him to say! That makes you want to cry more! “I’ll get it—”

“I’ll go with her,” Satoru says.

Suguru eyes him skeptically. “You just want to get out of cooking.”

“You got me.” Satoru raises his hands in mock surrender. Giving up too easy. That’s not the reason at all. “But I want sugar. I need lots of sugar. More than you’ve got.” He stomps over. Stomps. Even without the use of your technique, you can literally feel the irritation rolling off him. You squeak when he grabs you by the hips and lifts you up on the counter with ease. “Stay here. I’ll get you another pair of socks.”

“Oh—” he’s gone, Suguru and you watching him go, “—kay…”

“What’s with him?”

You swallow. Duck your head so that Suguru can’t look you in the eye when you lie, “I don’t know.” It’s…half-lie, anyway. You have a suspicion of why Satoru is upset. It very well may be for the exact same reason that you are. “So…um…who’s the lucky person?” It’s an unbelievably tough question to ask. You don’t want to know, but you…feel…obligated to ask. Is that not what you as…his…best friend…is supposed to ask?

“Ah.” His smile is shy, embarrassed. There’s a flush on his cheeks and he rubs the back of his neck. A wave of irritation rolls through you. Why does someone else make him feel like that? No. Damn it, you’re not supposed to think that way. “It’s a funny story, actually. You already know her. It’s…Kuronuma Suzue.”

If you were even remotely smiling, it’s falls away from your face immediately. “Nanako and Mimiko’s…teacher…”

“She’s never been their teacher, so there’s no conflict of interest or anything!” Suguru defends himself. “I…just wanted to meet her since she’ll be watching over the girls while they’re in elementary school and we…sort of hit it off from there?”

It’s hard not to feel betrayed by Kuronuma. It’s only because of your initiative that she’s in the position that she is. A pilot, a role model, a bridge between those active in the jujutsu community and those who are not. Also, double the pay—a check from the school system and a check from headquarters.

The proposal from last November was tentatively accepted. Start small and add more people if it proves beneficial. You want more people in schools. Non-sorcerer schools. Because, contrary to what you were made to believe in high school, there are actually a lot of people who can see cursed spirits and they’re all kept track of by jujutsu headquarters. It’s the responsibility of active sorcerers to report anyone they find to be able to see and interact with cursed spirits.

Satoru has said before that a person has to be a special type of crazy to want to do sorcery as a profession and most people are not born like that. Even becoming an auxiliary manager has risks. But why can’t headquarters try to utilize those people who don’t want to be a sorcerer or manager? Why are those the only two options?

Mimiko and Nanako…if there had been more sorcerers in their lives, they wouldn’t have been so hurt. If there had been anyone to say I see you, things could have gone so differently. It’s impossible to have a sorcerer in every tiny village, but you want to fucking try, damn it. Your ultimate goal is to have a jujutsu representative in every prefecture, but you need proof that that’d be beneficial.

So, to start, you’re putting more sorcerers in schools—first in Tokyo and Kyoto before slowly branching out to other major cities in the country. You told the higher-ups that it would be good for recruitment. If an adult is there to comfort a confused child, it makes them more open to becoming a sorcerer when they’re about to graduate middle school. Also, it prevents incidents with non-sorcerers getting hurt by a child losing control of their technique.

Kuronuma was so enthusiastic about the idea when you called her. You started with sorcerers that were teachers already. She’d just graduated with her degree. She’s passionate about helping children and was excited to be able to impact even more lives of people like her. When you interviewed her, she thanked you for coming up with this idea because it meant there would be less lonely children in the world like you and her had been.

You…shouldn’t feel betrayed. Kuronuma would be good for Suguru and the girls. A sorcerer involved more with non-sorcerers would help with their pain. She’s a nurturer, always bringing extra food for you when she reports in with you because she knows you often forget to eat when you’re working. This is perfect. You should be enthusiastic right now. You’re being childish instead, being terrified that she’s going to steal Suguru away from you.

“She’ll be a good match.” You hope you’re being as encouraging as you need to be.

“A good match?” Suguru laughs. “What? Are you a matchmaker now?”

Thankfully, that’s when Satoru marches back in the kitchen, pair of socks held high. You don’t have to force this pretending that you’re okay right now. “Got the socks!” You’re not even given the chance to put them on because Satoru bends down and starts doing it for you. “C’mon, c’mon, let’s get a move on. I’m starving.”

“I can always just make something that doesn’t require soy sauce,” Suguru suggests while putting a hand on his hip.

“Blegh!” Satoru sticks his tongue out. “I want sugar.”

Suguru sighs in exasperation, giving up on a lecture and instead focuses on cleaning up the mess.

It’s a silent walk to the konbini.

There’s a tension in the air between you and Satoru, but you’re afraid to address it. You really don’t want to talk about Suguru’s date, but Satoru is…agitated. You should check up on him. What are you supposed to say, though? Any reassurances from you would be hollow and Satoru would pick up on that in a heartbeat.

People brush against you as you’re both walking, instinctively making you shy away from the foreign touch. You never realize you’re doing it until you finally press against Satoru, but that doesn’t happen tonight. Because Infinity is there to meet you and that is when you figure out that something else is wrong with Satoru. Infinity being up around you is a conscious effort on his part and the biggest red flag that he’s not okay. It’s him practically screaming that he doesn’t want to be touched by anyone at all.

So, you zero on him, watching him carefully for other signs. He still hasn’t noticed that you touched Infinity. How can he when he keeps rubbing at his eyes the way he is? His teeth are gritted—you can tell by the way his jaw is clenched tight. In his peripheral, you see him blinking rapidly between his rubbing them.

It’s dark already. Snow is gently drifting down. Just ahead, the fluorescent light of the konbini spills out onto the street. Infinity suddenly shoves out further, sending you and everyone else around Satoru stumbling to the side. “Satoru!” Either he ignores you or doesn’t hear you because he keeps on walking, shoulders hunched with his tension. You have to dash right in front of him, arms spread out to block his path because you clearly can’t grab his hand. “Satoru!”

“What?” Satoru shouts.

You try not to shrink under his anger. It’s just more proof that he’s overstimulated. How can you control your emotions when your entire body is betraying you already? “You nearly knocked me into traffic with Infinity,” you explain calmly as you drop your arms. “You need to check in with me right now.”

Satoru briefly glances around, realizing the wide berth he’s been unintentionally keeping around himself. “Oh,” he whispers. His brows furrow and you sense Infinity shrink. See it in the way that people shuffle closer. But he flinches with his entire body at the closeness of those strangers. “I’m sorry,” he grits out.

“Don’t apologize,” you whisper. “Are you getting a migraine?”

“No,” he lies. You know he lies because his body immediately turns around and shatters the false bravado. He clutches at his head with a hiss. The pain must get worse because then he sinks down into a crouch, clutching at his head with both hands, groaning in agony.

“Shit,” you curse. You should’ve known sooner. How can you be so stupid? Looking back now, all the signs of a migraine have been there since you went to Suguru’s. “Satoru—” Infinity keeps you back when you try to rush toward him. You can only crouch down at the edge of it. It’s for the best, anyway. Infinity is trying to block out as much stimuli as it can. “Do you not have your blackout glasses on right now?”

“I do,” he whimpers. “Not enough.”

Fuck. This has been happening more and more. Usually, the only thing that helps him are the blackout curtains in his room and slipping under a blanket to further block out any lingering fractals of light in the room. He can’t possibly focus enough to warp if he’s immobile from pain, but you don’t want him to be tortured further. If only you had something to cover his…

Your fingers brush against the edge of your scarf. Worth a shot, you think frantically before you’re yanking if off, almost choking yourself in the process. “Drop Infinity for a second,” you order softly. He does. When he understands what you’re doing, trying to wrap it around his head and eyes, he quickly helps you finish up. You let him take over, knowing that Infinity could shove you away at any moment. “Better?”

“Little bit,” he whispers hoarsely. He’s still clutching at his head, though.

People are starting to slow down and stare. If he’s going to teleport, it needs to be now before there’s a crowd. “Can you focus enough to warp yourself home?”

“Don’t wanna.” The stubbornness is undermined by the pain in his voice. “Not without you,” he adds. And, yes, that’s very sweet, but he’s suffering. “I can handle it. Got to. Just have to learn how to deal with it.”

“You are not doing that around me.” What are you doing? There’s no point in arguing with him when he’s like this. You pull out your cell phone to immediately call Suguru, thoughts of earlier pushed away by your growing anxiety. You don’t give him the chance to greet you, instead rushing to explain, “I’m so sorry. I’ll be late. I have to take Satoru home—”

“What’s wrong?” Suguru interrupts you to ask worriedly.

“Migraine,” you answer. “Just…I can drop him off and grab a bottle near me, but it’ll be later than expected. I don’t want to leave him like this. This one is bad. We didn’t even make it inside the konbini, he’s so sensitive to light right now.”

“No, what? Why are you apologizing to me? It’s fine, Squid. Don’t worry about coming back. I’ll cook something else.”

You hesitate. “Are you sure? The girls—”

“The girls will be fine. They’ll understand. They’ve seen him with migraines before. They’ll be more worried than anything else.” They have? Just how fucking often is Satoru having these migraines? This isn’t sustainable. “I don’t want him to be alone right now, either. Stay with him. And keep me updated, please.”

“Yes, of course. I’ll text you when we’re home—”

There’s not enough time to end the call on your end. Satoru snatches your wrist, and the world falls out from under your feet. It always feels like a gut punch when you teleport with him, no matter how often you’ve done it. You don’t know how Satoru stands it. And you hate the way that no matter how much you brace yourself, you always, always stumble. But there’s no stumbling tonight because you land square in the middle of your mattress, chest thumping against Satoru’s. Toru and Gato barely manage to dodge out of the way of your bodies, screeching in surprise and protest.

“Why are we here?” Is it so bad that he can’t even control his warping? You’re frazzled and panicked. “Satoru, I still haven’t gotten your blackout curtains yet.” He ordered them for you. Specially made overseas, insisting that anything you buy in the city isn’t dark enough.

“You said warp home,” he mumbles as he kicks off his shoes. He grabs mindlessly for a pillow. Before he shoves it over his face, he adds, casual as can be, “Home is you.”

Home is you.

You stay there, sprawled out across his chest, staring at him with wide eyes and parted lips. Your heart flutters. It’s only his muffled groan of pain that pulls you from your swooning. You can’t believe he would drop something so romantic in a time like this. Then again, Satoru never realizes how awe inspiring some of the things he says are.

Scrambling off the bed, you rush to turn on the lamp light. It’s the same process as always—grab an extra big, thick blanket from your closet and grab the chair from your desk on the way to the window. You climb up on the chair, hauling the blanket over the curtain rod. Even the dim glow of the streetlights is too much. You hope that this migraine doesn’t last until morning.

You switch off the lamp before you sit on the edge of the mattress. Satoru is already moving the pillow off his face. Your hand hovers over his forehead, waiting for permission to touch. He bumps his head against your palm in a silent go-ahead, and you guide him back, running your hands through his fingers when his head is on the pillow.

Mindful of your volume, you ask him, “Do you want a washcloth? I can stick it in the freezer for a few minutes to make it extra cold.”

“Too scratchy.”

It’s that kind of night, then. “Do you want me to sleep on the futon?”

“Want you.”

His answers are short and clipped. You don’t want to keep him talking for too long when he’s struggling to do it, but you don’t want him pushing himself, either. “Infinity kept me away. Don’t force yourself.”

“Too many people around earlier. It’s okay now.”

“Fine.” You’ll know if it’s too much for him, anyway. “We’re sleeping in our underwear, then.” It’s less fabric that he has to deal with. “What about food? Do you think you can manage something?”

“No.”

You lean down to press a kiss to his forehead. “Okay. Let me feed Toru and Gato and find a snack.”

“No. Eat real food.”

That’s rich coming from the person whose meals consist of nothing butsugary snacks. “And have whatever I cook stinking up the place? No. I’m not doing that to you. I’ll be okay until morning.” You reach down to squeeze his hand. “Be back in a bit, but don’t wait up for me. Go to sleep.”

He doesn’t.

When you slip into bed after you’ve fed the cats and gotten ready to go to sleep, his arms are open and waiting for you. He sighs when his cheek settles in the valley of your breasts and the tension bleeds out of his body. You don’t even think about it before you start threading your fingers through his hair again.

“Thank you,” Satoru whispers when you’re starting to doze.

“I love you,” you mumble sleepily. “Don’t thank me for taking care of you.”

“Love you, too.”

Just before noon, Satoru comes stumbling into the kitchen, squinting despite the day being overcast with snow. Still sensitive, but not in agony like he was last night. You hand him his sunglasses, a parfait that you ran to the konbini to buy, and the soda that he’s currently obsessed with. He wordlessly takes it all before going to drop down at the table with a weary sigh. He doesn’t eat, instead putting his arms on the table and resting his cheek on them.

“I think you have to figure something else out,” you suggest softly after you’ve sat down at the other chair. You reach over to rest a comforting hand on the back of his neck. “It was dark, and your sunglasses still weren’t enough.”

“I know,” he agrees irritably. “I can try making the lenses bigger, I guess.” He sighs loudly, brows furrowing, and bottom lip jutting out. “I hate having to get rid of the glasses you got me.”

“You don’t have to get rid of them. You just need to stop wearing them,” you point out with a chuckle. The smile melts away, replaced by worry. “But what I really meant was that I think you might need to get rid of sunglasses altogether. It seemed like there was still too much light coming in.”

“Yeah, but what the hell else is there to use? The scarf helped a lot, actually, but I can’t go around wearing a scarf around my head all the time. People already stare at me enough as it is.”

“I thought you liked the attention,” you tease. You lean back in your chair, thinking.

The thing is that he’s right. With his height and white hair, he already sticks out like a sore thumb. People already stop him to ask if he’s a model. He hates to be stopped needlessly like that. He needs something that turns people away. A mask when someone is sick deters others, but there’s nothing like that for eyes…or is there?

“What about bandages?”

Satoru lifts his head, blinking. “Bandages?”

“People will think you’ve got a medical issue, so maybe they won’t bother you as much. And you can use as many bandages as you need to keep the light out.”

“Hey, that’s actually not a bad idea.”

“Also,” you glare at him, “you’re going to tell me when you feel a migraine coming instead of pushing through it like you were doing last night.” His mouth opens and you shake your head. “No. I’m not letting it get that bad again. I can’t stop the missions, but I’m not letting home be miserable for you, too. If I’m allowed to be overstimulated, then so are you.” You jab a finger in his direction. “Got it?”

Satoru gives up trying to argue pretty fast because he just grins dopily at you. “Got it.”

[FEBRUARY 2010]

The morning after Suguru’s birthday, he shows up at your door with your favorite breakfast and an apologetic smile. It takes everything in you to not childishly slam the door in his face.

He spent the night with her.

You’re not sure who you’re angrier with right now—him for fucking her or yourself for telling him that you’d keep the girls for the night, basically giving him permission to do it.

Guess the date went well, you don’t say because you’re not sure you could keep the bitterness out of your voice.

While he’s back in the guest bedroom, waking the girls up, you’re in front of the counter, continually trying to force yourself to smile. You need to ask him how it went because that’s what good best friends do. You have to insist to your body and mind that it has no logical reason to feel betrayed. You shouldn’t feel sick to your stomach like this.

You cannot keep clinging to Suguru like this.

You and Suguru are no longer on the same path and that’s…fine. It’s supposed to be fine. On your path, you’re hand-in-hand with Satoru. And on Suguru’s path, he’s going to be hand-in-hand with… Kuronuma. He confirms it before he leaves, that they’re officially dating. But your paths are still within sight of each other. Parallel lines.

It’s a terrible fucking morning.

[APRIL 2010]

“Don’t be mad,” is the first thing that Satoru says when you pick up the phone one afternoon.

You immediately sigh because that always means you will be mad. It’s really a matter of how mad you’ll be at him. And it’s been a really shitty day for you. As soon as you stepped outside and squinted despite it being overcast this morning, you knew how things were going to play out. Satoru knows this. So, that he still got himself in trouble when he’s supposed to be with Tsumiki and Megumi only further irritates you.

“Depending on how bad this is,” you start slowly through gritted teeth, “you should probably not come over.”

Satoru sighs sadly. “Yeah, I knew that was coming. But I really, really, really need your help!”

You have to pull the phone away from your ear with how high-pitched his whine gets. “Volume,” you warn when he’s done.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, quieter. “So, um, look…” You tap your foot impatiently. It must be bad if he’s trying to figure out the best way to say it. “Megumi…sort of kind of maybe…ran away?”

“Megumi did what?!” Forget angry! Well, no, don’t, but you’re freaking the fuck out more than anything else! “Why the fuck are you talking to me, Satoru?! Call Suguru! We can use some of his spirits to help search for him! What the hell happened?! You told me you picked him up! Satoru, what if the Zen’in kidnapped him?! Why are you calling me?! Go look for him—”

“Sketch!” Satoru interrupts with a laugh.

“Don’t Sketch me! Stop laughing! Satoru, this is serious!” The volume of your screech sends Toru and Gato running. You’ll have to apologize later with treats.

“Baby, did you forget who you’re talking to? I still got eyes on him. Getting a migraine from how far he’s getting, but I probably deserve it. Keep forgetting he’s got those shikigami to ride on. Hope there’s no normie around because they’ll freak when they see a kid in the air like that—”

“You’re rambling,” you interrupt harshly, “when you should be going after him!”

“Right, right. Well, I’m calling you because you should probably be the one to get him.”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, taking a few deep breaths. It’s days like this one that make you want to go back in time and make your past-self rethink the decision to take him as your boyfriend. Damn him and his stupidly sweet face when he’s being romantic and vulnerable. It fooled you.

“What did you do?”

“Nothing! I’ve been hanging out with Tsumiki! Here, talk to her. She’ll be my witness.”

Before you can protest because you should be talking to the adult in this situation, there’s a shuffle and then Tsumiki is greeting you. “Hi, Miss Sketch.”

Alright, alright. This might actually be beneficial since Tsumiki is with Megumi all day when they’re not at school. There’s no point in talking to the Gojo caretaker since they rotate and the kids aren’t all that close to them, either. “Hey, Tsumiki,” you greet, hoping there’s no leftover anger in your voice. “Do you know what’s going on?”

“I know you’re really worried, but it’s okay,” she tries to comfort you. “Megumi does this every year.”

Your brows furrow. “Every year?”

“Um…since he started school, yeah. I mean, he’s done it more. But he always, always does it after school starts. I’m sorry that I forgot to tell you!”

That…is not the issue here. You don’t know how to explain that to her. There’s so much that’s wrong here, and you really hope that Satoru is listening because the Gojo caretaker should not be letting this happen. The sole purpose of them being there is to make sure that Megumi and Tsumiki are safe, sound, and taken care of. They shouldn’t be letting Megumi roam without at least knowing where he is.

One issue at a time, you remind yourself. “Does he always go to the same place?”

“I don’t know. He never talks to me about it and gets really mad if I ask too many questions. He hates school a lot.” Guiltily, she goes on to admit, “He told me and Satchan to be quiet, but we got loud by accident while we were playing and making dinner. I think that’s why he ran away.”

The start of a new school year is pretty stressful. Before high school when there were only three of you, you always dreaded that first day back, whether it be a new year or after a break. You always clung to Suguru’s hand, preparing yourself for walking into the bright fluorescence of the building, getting smacked in the face with so many smells, and being bombarded by the excited chatter of everyone catching up—

Wait.

Could it be that Megumi…

“Don’t blame yourself,” you soothe. “I think there’s a lot happening to Megumi right now. I’m going to see if he’ll talk to me about it, okay? We might need to talk tonight, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Don’t worry. Can you give Satchan the phone back now?”

There’s an abandoned house near the Fushiguro siblings’ apartment where four missing children were found last year. They all swore that they’d been kidnapped by a monster that insisted on becoming their true mother. One of them, a little girl with messy blonde hair and green eyes, recounted how she’d been led out of the house by a fluffy white dog. Thankfully, no one else was hurt when the police went inside to collect the other children because the monster had already been taken care of.

Satoru and Megumi were already gone by the time the police arrived.

There’s been no cursed spirit activity since then. It’s the perfect place for someone to hide out that’s desperate for escape from the world. Megumi has always been a sensible boy, not running headfirst into danger because he understands the limits of his strength. The Divine Dogs are always with him whenever he leaves home. Sometimes, to hone his control over his cursed energy, he’ll keep them summoned even at home. Everyone has taken to calling them Kuro and Shiro, they’re so familiar now.

Shiro is out on the rundown stoop, barking to catch your attention, as if you haven’t already sensed him. You rub the top of his head in greeting. His tongue lolls out and his tail wags furiously. Knowing that someone stronger is here to protect Megumi, he follows after you as you slip inside the house, no longer needing to stand guard.

Megumi is off in a side room, away from the dreadful scent of rotting food. There’s probably more, little bits of the children who didn’t survive the spirit. Messy eating comes with the territory. No one bothered to clean up the scene after their investigation. A sign outside warns of the house’s impending demolition. Megumi is going to need a new spot to hide in.

Megumi works his jaw as you spread out a big blanket across the dirty floor to sit on across from him. He glowers at the Divine Dogs when they immediately go to curl up beside you, one on each side. You give Kuro a stroke along his back in greeting before pulling out your sketchbook to pass the time with drawing. You promised Tsumiki that you’d sketch Megumi’s dogs to show her what they look like in detail.

“You don’t need to talk to me if it’s hard to do that right now,” you explain, voice purposely quiet to keep his peace. “I brought a notebook for you to write in.” You pull the aforementioned notebook out, flipping to a clean page before placing it in front of him with a pencil. His brows furrow before he picks the notebook up only to browse previous pages, scattered with conversations of the past. “I use it myself. Some days, it’s a lot of work to talk.”

“I can talk,” Megumi mutters after working his jaw again. You’re not sure if he realizes he does it. For a long time, you didn’t. It was always the biggest indicator to everyone else that you were having a day where you didn’t want to talk. “Don’t lie to me to make me feel better.”

“Are you saying I wrote like two different people to lie to you?” Your logic has his scowl deepening. “I was only offering.”

“Why aren’t you yelling at me?”

“Tsumiki said you asked her and Satoru to be quiet. You ran away here because there’s no noise, right?”

He crosses his arms over his chest. “Weren’t you worried?”

“I was, but that doesn’t mean I need to yell at you. I hate when people do it to me, so I try not doing it to others.”

If you didn’t have a suspicion of what’s going on, Megumi’s growing frustration would hurt. But you notice how he’s blinking rapidly. In the dying light of the afternoon, what streaks through the shuttered windows, you see the shine of unshed tears. “Stop treating me like a kid!”

“But you are one, Megumi,” you point out gently. “I know you’ve felt like you need to be strong for Tsumiki for a long time, but you don’t have to be that anymore, okay? I want Tsumiki and you to be able to be children.” He doesn’t have to be so defensive anymore. He’ll probably always seem more mature for his age. You can’t count how many people told you that when you were growing up.

“It’s not like that,” he hisses with flushed cheeks.

“Okay,” you accept while holding your arms up in surrender. If you push too much, he’ll shut down completely. “I actually want to talk to you about something else, anyway.” You tap the blunt end of your pencil against the page, trying to figure out how to best navigate this conversation. He doesn’t want to be coddled. You think that even asking him outright might put him on the defense because it might seem like a weakness he doesn’t want to admit to. “Satoru has the Six Eyes. He told you that, right? He said that’s why he wears sunglasses inside?” Megumi nods hesitantly, probably confused where you’re going with this. “Do you know why I wear them inside?”

“Thought it was because you have a weird technique like him,” he mumbles.

“No, no. It has nothing to do with my technique at all.” You pull off the pair with you from where they’re perched on the top of your head. “For me, there are days where it’s way too bright everywhere. It was cloudy this morning, but that was still too much for me, so I wore my sunglasses.”

Megumi shifts, his anger replaced by confusion. “Okay…”

Right. You should be more open. “It’s been like this all my life. My brain has always worked different than everyone else, and I mean sorcerers and non-sorcerers. It was a rough morning for me, too. I was in my closet for fifteen minutes, trying to figure out what to wear because all my shirt just felt wrong on my skin. Then, I didn’t have breakfast because I was out of the cereal that I always eat, and I couldn’t stand the thought of eating anything else when I went to the konbini. I have a way that I want my day to go and if it doesn’t, it makes me so upset that I could cry.”

Slowly, his eyes widen. You turn your head away just as he’s turning his toward you, knowing he’ll shy away if he sees you looking right at him. It’s scary, at first, to be truly seen. “That’s normal…” His voice trails off, unsure.

“Sure, people can shop and not like how a shirt feels, but it doesn’t make their skin crawl if they wear it. It’s not the first thing they shop for. For other people, they think about how it looks before they ever think about how it feels. The same goes with foods, too. They don’t like how it tastes. I have to worry about how it feels before the taste. I hate octopus. The way it feels in my mouth makes me want to throw up every single time I eat it.”

In your peripheral, you see his head drop. He’s staring at the notebook in his lap, fiddling with the pages. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I want you to know me,” which is true but not the whole truth. “That’s another thing about me. It’s hard for me to get to know people and the other way around. Being around so many of them at the same time is hard. Riding the train when it’s packed—” you shudder. “I hate being touched by strangers. Actually, there are some days where I don’t want to be touched at all. And I always feel like I’ve got to…wear a mask. My teachers always scolded me because I wasn’t following the rules and when I asked what rules, I was expected to know societal rules. Unspoken rules. It’s like I’ve been trying to learn a language that everyone else but me knows how to speak.”

His bottom lip quivers. “You’re lying, aren’t you?”

“Do you want me to call Suguru? He’s been with me all my life. He can confirm. And I’m thankful I had him. I followed his lead a lot to learn how to interact with people. If I needed space, even from him, he never made me feel bad about that.” Megumi’s shoulders climb up, almost at his ears. “Suguru’s always been my person. Someone I feel safe to be myself with without having to act like everyone else. But there are times where I just need to be alone because it’s too much. I’m an adult now, so I don’t have a teacher telling me I can’t do things to make myself feel better. I can listen to music on the train when my brain can’t filter noise out. I can wear sunglasses without a teacher telling me to take them off. I don’t have to wear a school uniform that’s stiff and clingy.”

He grips the cuffs of his pants. “Don’t brag.”

“I’m not bragging. I’m telling you that I feel the same way you are. I want you to know that you don’t have to go through this alone.” You dig your MP3 player out of your little backpack, carefully placing it on the blanket between you and him. “I like to listen to this on my way to and from work. It helps muffle things, helps me calm down after the stress of work. I wore sunglasses, too. I can’t make things better at school, but I can help it so that you don’t have to feel so bad all the time. Home should be a place where you feel safe and yourself.”

“But Tsumiki—”

“I can talk to her if you don’t want to. I can explain that you need space sometimes. Tsumiki loves you. She’s the kindest person we know, right? She’ll know that you still love her, even if you’re not around her all the time.”

The tears plopping down on his pant legs make your heart cleave right in two. His shuddering breaths shatter the already broken pieces of your heart. “She’ll…” Both his fists clench. “She’ll be lonely,” he manages to say, though his voice trembles.

“She won’t,” you disagree, “because you two have us now. If you’re scared that she’ll be too lonely without you, all you have to do is call one of us and we’ll be there. Satoru, me, Suguru, Shoko—we’re here for you. But no more running, alright? She tries to be brave for you, but I know Tsumiki worries when you disappear.”

“Okay,” Megumi agrees softly while roughly wiping at his eyes.

“Okay,” you repeat with a nod and soft smile. “Do you want to borrow my MP3 player while we walk home?”

Megumi’s cheeks are dark, but he nods. You pass it over and, as he settles into them, you stand up and start gathering your things. He does the same. You follow him out of the room and when you’re at the front door, something slips into your hand. A smaller hand. Megumi’s hand.

“Just so I don’t get lost,” he mumbles under his breath. “Don’t make it weird.”

You have to bite back a smile. You want to drop down on your knees and wrap your arms around him. You don’t. You simply squeeze his hand really hard to acknowledge that you’ve heard him.

There is something so incredibly special about being trusted like this, but, for now, it has to be your little secret.

[MAY 2010]

May comes and turns the world upside-down.

It’s a deceptively calm start to the day.

Just as you’re about to walk into a meeting with some fresh-faced auxiliary managers, Satoru calls. You excuse yourself with an apologetic smile and brief bow before darting out of the room and answering the call. “Are you okay?” Satoru never calls when you’re at work unless it’s an emergency. He’ll text, knowing you’ll get to it when you do.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

You pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing. “I have a meeting.”

“It’ll be quick, I promise! I have something really, really important to ask you!”

“Fine. What is it?”

“Do you want a lusty cursed spirit?”

This is going to be a conversation that needs to be had in private, so you duck inside a restroom, locking the door behind you. “A what?”

“Man, it’s like you’re never nosy and peeking at my assignments!” Once you were introduced to his clan last year, word quickly spread through the rest of the community that you and Satoru were in a relationship. Because of that, you’re not officially allowed to interact with his work. “Anyway, I’m at some abandoned love hotel!”

“Is that all? How do you know it’s a lusty curse then?”

“Eh? Aren’t you the one that’s been studying how locations impact a curse’s shape and abilities? Oh, and all the poor suckers get chewed on while they’re fucking. I forgot to mention that.”

“The reason I’m doing research is because it’s a theory.”

“Well, this’ll be more proof!”

Ugh. You know he’s right. It’ll definitely be a sex-themed curse. It might be the only emotion that you’ve never run across. You want to study it. You crave to dig further into what about love hotels make them more resistant to cursed spirits. But there’s a big problem. “I can’t get away from work right now.”

“That’s fine! I was gonna bug Suguru to come gobble it up so you can see it later.”

“He’s in class. Y’know, that place where you should be trying to get back to as soon as possible?”

“Yeah, but he’ll definitely want to ditch when I ask him to come over here. He’s been talking about how bored he’s been with just working out. I might even let him do the work for me.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” you deadpan. Suguru is only to be pulled for extreme cases where Satoru isn’t available to handle it himself. Satoru isn’t allowed to invite just anyone without clearance. Not that clearance has ever stopped Satoru before, but you need some plausible deniability.

“What? Who said that? I didn’t hear anything, either.” You laugh. “So, if we don’t get back in time, can you please, please, please pick up the dynamic duo? I know he’s going to ask, so I’m getting to it ahead of time.”

His excitement is infectious. You can’t blame him. It’s been a long time since he’s had anyone with him on a mission. It helps break the monotony of work to have someone else there. You miss the rush of being out in the field, too. There’s such a rush when you’ve got a curse pacified and get up close, knowing that they could break free at any moment. Sometimes, you just want to crack something open…

Okay, you might be a freak.

“I’ll pick them up.” He gives a loud whoop of triumph. “Be safe, have fun, and I’ll see you tonight.”

“Best girlfriend ever. See you tonight, Sketch.”

Out on the street in front of your apartment building, you sense Satoru’s presence which makes you feel…a little frustrated. You texted him all day, asking for updates, and he never responded. Not him or Suguru. You weren’t worried, per se, but a check-in now and then wouldn’t hurt. You assumed they took time to play around with the spirit and spent the rest of the day playing hooky from classes, but it’s getting late now.

You glance down at your hands—one clutching the high school photo album that Shoko found and shared with you and the kids and the other with a plastic bag full of leftover takeout. You debate on if you should turn back and grab Satoru something from the konbini but decide that he’s a big boy and can get his own food.

The closer you get to your door, the more worried you get. The anxiety is half-yours and half-Satoru’s, you realize. It’s so potent that his cursed energy is fluctuating wildly and his emotions are radiating out to you. No one was hurt. Headquarters would’ve called you since Satoru and Suguru have put you as their emergency contact. Suguru didn’t go off the rails, clearly, since you’re alive and kicking.

Did they play too hard and cause some property damage? No, that can’t be it, either. Satoru never worries much about those kinds of things. Higher-ups give you a lecture to pass down to him, but he’s never nervous about those. He’ll worm his way back into your good graces instead. So, really, what could it be?

Toru leaps from his cat tower into your arms as soon as the door opens, causing you to drop the photo album with a grunt. You should’ve known better to have your hands full. He chirrups when you greet him by nuzzling your face against the top of his head. Cradling him with one arm, you bend down to pick up the album, then head to the kitchen to drop everything off—Toru included.

“No treats until you’ve eaten all of dinner,” you tell him seriously after glancing at their food bowls. Gato’s is gone, but not Toru’s. He gets up on the counter like right now, yowling for a treat. “No,” you say sternly. You point over at his bowl. “You need to finish dinner first.” Another yowl, but you ignore it, instead opening the cabinet to grab a box of Pocky. Ironically, it’s in the same place as the cat treats. A small kitty and a big one.

You caught a glance of Satoru on the couch. “Tell me what you did that’s got you feeling that way, and I’ll give you Pocky,” you announce loudly as you’re leaving the kitchen. You stop when you really look at him. He’s staring at the wall blankly and leg bouncing fast and aggressively. His blazer is torn open, shirt untucked from his waistband, hair a wild mess, bandages torn a bit and hanging loosely around his neck, and there are marks along his neck. “Satoru!” You sprint over and drop down on your knees in front of him. He flinches when you touch his knees, making you throw your hands up. “Satoru, what’s wrong? Where is Suguru? What happened? Are you both okay?”

“He’s…he went to…” His wide eyes drop down to you. You can’t figure out the emotions behind the blue. “He had to confess to…her…what happened…”

Her, meaning Kuronuma. Satoru refuses to call her by her name. He hasn’t taken to the change in routine well. Besides, it’s always been hard for him to really warm up to people. “Confess? Like…as in…a love confession?” The thought of that has your panic rising. Is he moving too fast? It feels like it’s moving too fast. “What—”

“We fucked!” Satoru blurts.

You rear back, blinking in shock. “Yes? We did? What does that have to do with anything?”

“No, that’s not—” he hunches over, holding his face in his hands, groaning. “Me and Suguru fucked, Sketch.”

You can’t quite hold back the sigh of relief. Why is Satoru and Suguru sleeping together a comfort compared to the panic of Suguru possibly confessing to Kuronuma? “Okay.” You take a calming breath. “Okay, that does explain what those red marks are.” They’re hickeys. You should’ve known. Satoru loves to leave them on you, after all. “Alright, calm down. Explain what happened.”

Satoru finally pulls his hands away, staring at you in disbelief. “You hear that, and you’re calm?”

“Satoru,” you start patiently, “I know you. You’ve been in love with me since high school. You’ve seen the worst in me and still stuck around.” He bites his lip, looking away guiltily. “And you look like you could die from the guilt right now,” you add. “I know Suguru, too. He’d probably tear your balls off if you even thought about cheating on me, let alone be the person you cheat with.”

“You have a disgusting amount of faith in me,” he whispers hoarsely.

“Well, you have a disgusting amount of love for me,” you shoot back fondly. “You underestimated the curse, didn’t you?” He nods slowly. Sighing shakily, he leans back against the couch. “Is it okay for me to get in your lap? I really want to hold you right now. You look like you need it.”

“I do.” You slip up into his lap when he opens his arms wide, shoving your face in the crook of his neck. Your lips brush against his skin instinctively before you realize that…Suguru also kissed Satoru here. That fucks with your head a little. It sends a little shiver down your spine. It’s only Satoru speaking that pulls you back from thinking too much about that. “And, yeah, we really underestimated that thing.”

“Did you exorcise it?”

He jostles you in his lap, huffing in offense. “Now is not the time to nerd out.”

“Sorry, sorry.” You lean back, taking his cheeks in your hands, examining him critically. His lips are red, swollen. He blinks, but his pupils dilate as they normally should. Kissing him like that, getting in his lap—it usually makes him start to chub up, but he’s soft right now. Not even a twitch. “Tell me what happened.”

“It was gross,” he starts with a shudder. “It was spewing this…like…liquid everywhere. I didn’t understand until it was too late that that’s how it was infecting victims. It would slip its spit, I guess, in their drinks—”

Your nose wrinkles in disgust. “You swallowed it?”

He nods miserably. “It pissed me off, so I blew it into pieces. It was like this…tentacle monster.” You raise a brow, and he flushes. “Shut up. You watch it, too,” he hisses. You shrug. Guilty as charged. “But the…aphrodisiac…it was already taking effect. We didn’t figure that out until it was too late.”

Your brows furrow in confusion. That doesn’t sound right. “You exorcised it, and the poison was still working?”

He grimaces. “Yeah, uh…that…wasn’t just spit that it was throwing around.” His face goes a deep shade of red, and he touches his belly. “What I thought was his dick started squirming.”

“Ooh.” You understand now. That’s fascinating, not that you’ll tell Satoru. “It’s like those Alien movies. A parasite. While the victim is busy fucking, they don’t notice the thing growing inside them. Or…maybe it’s actually like an octopus. They have brains in their arms. Maybe it feeds on the energy then moves back to the main body.”

“You’re getting distracted again,” he points out wryly.

“Oh. Sorry. Carry on.”

“I’m never letting Suguru go on another mission ever, by the way. He had to use the piece inside me because he couldn’t find it mixed in inside himself and all his arsenal.”

“Use…oh.” Your eyes widen. “Oh, Satoru.” You move some hair away from his face. “You tasted it when you threw it up?” He nods. “I’m shocked. No one but him is able to touch them normally. That must’ve been rough. Did they taste as bad as he says they do?”

“Worse.”

You cup his cheeks again. “Are you okay? Be honest with me.”

“Am I okay? I fucked Suguru, cheated on you, and you’re asking how I’m doing?”

How can he not understand? “It’s not cheating. You were under the influence of a curse—”

“We were halfway home,” he interrupts. “We could’ve…we should’ve waited—”

You place your hand over his mouth to silence him. “I am going to be very clear about this,” you start slowly, carefully. “You did not cheat on me. I—me, myself—am telling you that I do not consider it cheating. You shouldn’t, either. You were with Suguru who, other than you, is the person I trust the most. Do you understand?” He’s conflicted but hesitantly nods. “Good. Now, I am going to ask you again—are you okay? This thing…it made you do something you didn’t want to—”

Satoru yanks your hand away so he can blurt, “But what if I did?”

“Yeah, of course you did. That’s the problem. The curse made you want it.”

“But—”

The ringing of your phone interrupts what he’s about to say. You rush to pull it out of your pocket because it could be Shoko calling about the kids or, hopefully, Suguru. It’s not him, exactly, but it’s the next best thing—Kuronuma. You flash him the screen, showing the name so he understands the importance of you taking the call.

“Is Suguru with you?”

“Hello to you, too,” she says through her sniffling. Her voice is wobbly and thick with tears. “And, no, he’s not. I made him leave. Do you want to come over and be miserable together?”

You pull yourself away from Satoru’s lap, standing up, and nearly shouting, “You made him leave?”

There’s a pause on her end. “Did you not make Gojo leave?”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

Kuronuma says your surname softly. It doesn’t help calm you down. You’re furious already and your anger spikes when she adds, “They cheated.”

“Did you even listen to him explain what happened? A curse made them do it.”

She scoffs. “Right, because people don’t lie to justify their bad choices.”

You press a thumb against the center of your throbbing forehead. “Except there’s proof. You’ve been dating him for months and you still don’t understand that he’s not that type of person? If you stopped to think then you could’ve asked him to summon the spirit,” you spit.

“They could have waited. Gojo told you that, too, right? They spent hours together. Hours where they could’ve been with their partners. Hours where they could’ve talked with you, the expert.” Ugh. Why is she not getting it? She’s punishing Suguru and for what? “You can’t be that naïve. You don’t understand it, do you? They wanted this. I’ve always been uncomfortable with how they act around each other. Do you not see it?”

You groan in exasperation. “You just don’t get it. They’ve always been like this. They act that way around me, too.” You shake your head, disgusted. “I’m sorry, Kuronuma, but I have to go. I’m going to find Suguru. Someone needs to be there to take care of him.”

“Go ahead,” Satoru encourages as soon as you hang up on her. “I’ll be waiting.”

Thank goodness that you remember where Kuronuma lives, even if she’s only invited you over once before. Suguru has already made his way away from her place, but his massive energy is like a beacon when you’re in the area. He’s at a small park, the aforementioned cursed energy relatively calm compared to how Satoru’s had been. Seated on a bench, arms spread out across the back of it, his head is tilted back, and an unlit cigarette is dangling from his lips.

Relief floods through you and the sprint that you’d taken up since you got off the train slows to a brisk walk. He’s trying to quit smoking, you know that, so you grabbed some gum on your way out the door. You’re fumbling to pull it out of your bag and shove it right in his face when you shout his name to grab his attention.

Suguru’s eyes cross, the packet of gum is so close to his face. You breathlessly explain, “For getting the taste of curses out of your mouth and because I know you want to smoke.” His eyes lift, staring at you with an unreadable expression. There’s a bitter twist to his mouth. His eyes shine with unshed tears. “I don’t care about what happened,” you rush to assure him because he must feel even guiltier than Satoru. “I only care if you’re okay.”

He ducks his head down, laughing in disbelief and shaking his head. “You don’t need to force yourself. I can take care of myself, okay?”

This is a very familiar situation. Déjà vu. Him below you, on his knees, slipping your shoes off. “In all our years together,” you start to repeat his own words back with a meek smile, “has it ever crossed your mind that I like taking care of you?” Slowly, his eyes widen. You wonder if he remembers. He does and you forgot how the rest of that day had turned out, how you’d went on to fight with him in the shower later until his eyes and smile are laced with pain. “I mean it! I want to take care of you, too!”

“I know you do,” he whispers and carefully takes the gum. “Even when I’ve betrayed you.”

“It wasn’t betrayal,” you shoot back angrily. Shit. You shouldn’t take out your anger on him, but your tone is wrong. “That was unbelievably cruel of her to blame you like that.”

“No, she was right. We should have waited.” He pauses before looking away and admitting, “She was right about a lot of things.”

“If you hadn’t been around, Satoru would have a hole in his chest.”

His face goes as flat as Satoru’s. “We’d been at it for a long time before we noticed the things inside us.”

“I do not care,” you stress furiously. “Me blaming you two for how you acted under the influence would be like…like blaming a poisoning victim throw up on my shoes or something! It’s stupid and wrong!”

“You’d have been able to figure out the problem as soon as you saw us. If you saw Satoru in the state he was in, you would’ve immediately known something was wrong.”

“Right, and I would’ve had to wait for you, out of your mind, to make it to us in time,” you point out dryly.

“You could’ve pacified it until I got there.”

“That’s a pretty bold claim to make about my technique. Who knows if I would’ve been able to reach that thing through Satoru’s cursed energy? I’m not even sure that I could control it if it kept feeding off Satoru’s energy. I imagine it was probably like a fucking buffet to that spirit.” You reach out to grab his chin, force him to face you, fingers digging in deep. “Stop trying to find ways for me to blame you, damn it. I’m not changing my mind about this. Just tell me how the fuck you’re doing right now. Are you okay?”

There’s a comforting mischievous glint in his eyes. “You’ve fucked Satoru before. I’m sure you know that I am very okay.”

You pull your hand away and flop down on the bench next to him, knowing that he’s…somewhat okay. “Well, considering that I don’t have a dick, I actually don’t know how it feels to fuck him. Getting fucked by him, that I do know.”

He hunches over, putting an elbow on his knee so he can hold his cheek with his hand, facing you with a little pout. “Why are you immediately assuming that I fucked him?”

“Because he’s asked me to put my fingers in his ass,” you answer bluntly.

It gives you the reaction you were looking for—a stunned laugh. “Sometimes, I worry about how little everything affects you.”

“False. I am super anxious.”

“About the wrong things, sure,” he teases. “What if I told you that I wanted to fuck Satoru?”

“He is very handsome, and he does have really good dick game.” You scrutinize him. “Not that you’d know, I guess. I mean, you could’ve had him fuck you. Did you?”

His cheeks turn almost as red as Satoru’s had. “I’m not discussing this with you.”

“Pity.”

After a moment of silence, Suguru asks, in total disbelief, “You’re really not mad at me, are you?”

“No! How could I be? I’m only freaked out because this stupid curse controlled you.” You breathe deep and it shudders when you exhale. “I’m so happy that you’re both okay. And…” Don’t say it. Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it. “I…I can talk to her more, if you want. I can’t say we ended our call on the best terms, but if you pull out the spirit to show her and I break out the cursed spirit expertise—”

It hurts. To even force those words out, it hurts. It shouldn’t. Just like it should hurt to know that they could’ve waited to come back to you. No, wait, that’s not right, either. Because only Satoru should’ve come back to you. None of this is right. You hurt in the places you shouldn’t, don’t hurt in the places you should.

“No,” Suguru interrupts softly. Gaze set on the horizon, sky an explosion of oranges and yellow as the sun sets, he laughs. “No, it’s honestly okay. I don’t think things were ever going to work out with her, anyway.” He turns to you, then, and your eyes widen when his face cracks into a smile. “If she doesn’t have my best friend’s approval anymore, why bother? The only opinion that’s ever mattered to me is yours, Squid.”

Something happens.

It starts with a simple thought—Suguru’s smile has never changed, has it? You remember those pictures from high school, but then your memory stretches back further. Plucking at random times like snapshots, it’s only more confirmation that it truly has never changed. His eyes closed and arched like little crescent moons, smile stretched so wide and white teeth on display. He gives you that grin, that…

This is that carefree smile that he once swore he would never wear again and that’s just when everything finally clicks into place.

No. That’s not quite right, either. It’s the catalyst, maybe. The first thought of many more that keep falling into place, completing a puzzle that you’d never taken a step back to examine the full scope of.

Did she see this, too?

The state of your heart is truly a mess right now. Fit to burst with emotion yet bleeding out because there’s been a razor wire locked around it with his name on it. Even the thought of someone else getting this from him makes you feel like some kind of rabid animal. Flashing sharp teeth at outsiders, greedily clinging to him, claws sunk in deep. If you could bury yourself inside his chest, could curl yourself around his delicate heart, you would. Who else will protect it?

It’s more than that, though, you’re realizing.

I don’t want anyone else to have this.

I want to keep you all to myself.

All your happiness, all your sadness, all your anger, all your regrets…

I want it all.

Satoru’s voice rings in your head, clear as a bell—I want every single part of you, even the ugliest ones.

You have that kneejerk reaction. I shouldn’t think that way about Suguru. Because it’s not supposed to be the same. Satoru is in love with you. It shouldn’t feel the same…but it does. And that is when you finally understand the truth that’s been there in plain sight for so, so long.

I love you.

Every high and low of his life, every little thing about him, every habit, every single version of him—you love it all. You love him. You’re in love with him. It’s always been this way. That’s why the revelation doesn’t feel like such a punch in the gut like it had with Satoru. Just like Suguru, this epiphany is gentle as a rolling wave. You have always walked side-by-side, hand-in-hand with this reality, with this love.

How could this not have dawned on you sooner? All the wasted years…

…but what about Satoru?

Reality comes crashing in like a freight train. Your hand flies up to cover your mouth and hide the dawning horror. You’re in love with Suguru. You’re in a relationship with Satoru and you’re in love with another mani. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. The one that should be feeling guilty is you. You’re the cheater!

“Squid?” Suguru’s worried voice reaches you through the rising panic. You flinch when his hand touches the corner of your eye where a tear slipped out. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

You’re crying because your heart is breaking. You’re…you’re going to have to tell Satoru the truth. He’s been through so much and you’re going to make it worse. But you lie. Because you’re a terrible fucking person. “It…that was really sweet.” You force a smile. You start scrubbing at your eyes. “It hit me how lucky I am to have you!”

Suguru laughs, leaning forward to bump his forehead against yours. “You’re so silly, getting emotional at the most random of times.”

Why did you make me love you?

I was never supposed to fall in love with you.

“…eh?”

It would eat you alive, this secret, so you blurted it out as soon as you got home and saw Satoru there in the kitchen, a Pocky stick from that pack you brought him in his mouth.

“I said,” your voice is trembling, along with every other part of your body, “that I’m in love with Suguru.” Satoru’s mouth parts, the Pocky falling to the floor, and his shock makes you burst out into ugly sobbing. You have no fucking right to be crying right now. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m the worst person—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Satoru carefully guides you over to a chair, getting you to sit down despite your pathetic blubbering. He drops down on his knees in front of you, a mirror of earlier when you were trying to comfort him. You’re the worst person, the scum of the earth. He was feeling so awful when the true betrayer was right in front of him. “Sketch, darling, you gotta calm down for me so we can talk.”

“Be angry at me!”

He gives a lop-sided grin. “If I do that, you’ll cry harder, and we won’t be able to talk even longer.” He then coaches you through taking deep breaths to calm down, having been on the other end of your breakdowns before. “It’s okay. It’s okay,” he tries to soothe.

You wail, “It’s not! I have to break up with you! That’s not okay! I don’t want to!”

“Why not?”

You blink. “Huh?”

“Why don’t you want to break up with me?”

“Because I love you!” The most baffling thing happens—Satoru smiles. Actually grins. Just like Suguru had, this is Satoru’s truest smile. “Why are you smiling? This isn’t funny! I’m in love with Suguru! I’m a cheater!”

“Too.”

“What?”

“You’re in love with Suguru, too,” he stresses. “You’re in love with me and Suguru…right?”

“…yes?”

“Okay.” His expression is no longer so silly. He’s serious. Is the gravity of the situation finally hitting him? “And tell me if I’m wrong here, but it sounds like you want to be with me and Suguru, too. Is that right?”

Oh. Well, that goes without saying. Obviously, you would love that, but there’s a problem. “That’s not allowed?”

“Who says?”

“Uh…” Your mind goes blank. “…society?” That’s a pitiful answer. There’s nothing better, though. All your life, there has only been romantic love between two people. If someone falls in love with another person, they’re cheating. There are a lot of people who say that me liking girls is wrong, Shoko had told you once. So, if everyone cares about everyone else involved, then what’s wrong with more than two people in a relationship?

“Since when have we ever cared about that?”

Your brows furrow. “We?”

“Jeez, you’re such a space cadet, Sketch. You haven’t figured it out yet?” Figured what out? “Think about it. You told me you’re in love with another man, but I’m not mad about it. Actually, I’ve been walking you through understanding your feelings. Why would I do that?”

I’ve always been uncomfortable with how they act around each other. Do you not see it? You hadn’t understood what Kuronuma wanted you to see, but you think you’re starting to get it now. Or…maybe…subconsciously, you had. After all, you’d responded with, they act that way around me.

When I say you, I mean you and Suguru. You’re like a package deal inside my brain. You’re both equally the most important people in my life.

“You’re…” He nods eagerly, encouraging you to go on. “…in love with Suguru, too…”

“Yes,” he breathes out. The breath leaves him with a whoosh and his shoulders sag, as if a great weight has been lifted from them, and you suppose it has. Shoko is going to be insufferable when she finds out that she’s been right about everything since the start. “You figured it out. Finally.”

Finally? Finally?! “You were in love with another person the whole time that we’ve been together?!”

“So were you!”

“But I didn’t know that!”

Satoru snorts, hunches over to press his forehead against your knee, and laughs. Loud and free. And you laugh right along with him. It’s such an insanely ridiculous situation that you’ve found yourselves in. And, yeah, it’s a little freeing, too. There’s no more confusion, no more policing your own thoughts, flinching away from anything too taboo. Your laughter dies down as a deep, deep sadness takes root inside you.

You think that you’ve been in denial for so long. There have been so many things that you were hung up on. Maybe that’s why you never let yourself go there. You thought yourself a burden to him and by the time it got through your thick skull that Suguru needed you as much as you needed him, you were both too broken to even worry about things like love.

“Satoru,” you call out softly. He tilts his head up, chin on your knee, humming in acknowledgement. “Thank you.”

“Uh…for what?”

“I’m a little sad…that I went all these years and never figured it out. It feels like so much time was wasted. But…I honestly don’t think that I ever would’ve felt ready to love him if I hadn’t met you,” you admit. “You’ve helped me so much. I needed to see you being yourself, open and unashamed. I needed to accept your love because, otherwise, I’m not sure I’d ever figure out how to love him right. I’d always be doubting myself without you.”

Satoru stares at you with wide eyes for so long that it makes you feel self-conscious. “Are—” his voice cracks. “Are you thanking me for my shitty personality?”

“You’re a little more than the shitty parts of your personality.” You grin playfully. “Just a little.”

Suddenly, he’s full of determination. It’s written all over his face and he straightens, chest puffed out. “I’m fucking you right here on the floor.”

“No, you definitely are not fucking me on the floor! Not unless you’ve cleaned it!”

“Ugh, fine, on the table!”

“We eat there, you animal!”

“I’ll douse it in bleach!”

“But it’s knowing that we did it there! One of the kids will be sitting at the table and I’ll just be thinking about how my ass was right where their plate was!”

Satoru starts laughing again, joyful and beautiful. There are tears in his eyes. “I hate how much I love you. I really, really do.”

[redheadsramblings]

Ship Sleep Dynamics

I was tagged by the lovely @aetherflowers for this 🥰

I need more screenshots of the two of them. All the ones I have, someone has their eyes closed or is pulling a weird face 🤣

So I have to keep reusing the few good ones 😅

💚Emmrich Volkarin 💀 Rowan "Rook" Ingellvar💜

How often do they sleep together?

Once the relationship is a go every night, but not in a sexual sense as Rowan is not ready (also I haven't quite decided if their first time is the coffin or not) and he would never ever think of rushing her. Emmrich is horrified when he sees Rowan's sleeping situation at the Lighthouse. And will not hear of leaving his darling to sleep in a cold, damp room on that abominable sofa with nary a pillow or blanket that isn't her pack and cloak (his exact words).

It starts with them just in the same bed, he being a gentleman offers to go sleep elsewhere, but Rowan asks him to stay. So he puts a bolster pillow down the centre of the bed so she feels safe and as a barrier. Which lasts all of her first nightmare. He knew she sleepwalked because of bad dreams, what he didn't know was how it all started before she started walking. Lots of whimpering, talking in her sleep (he didn't know his heart could break over such innocuous phrases like No, Don't, or It hurts) so how can he not hold her and try to soothe her and the rest is history (OK the rest is kind of written but not really, and I want to keep some things a mystery for later fic chapters)

Where do they sleep?

Once the relationship is a go they're both in Emmrich's bed in his room at the Lighthouse (I am an Emmrich has a secret bedroom behind a bookcase truther) and again in Emmrich's bed in his flat/house in Nevarra once they go home. Before, Rowan didn't have a bed either in the Lighthouse or Nevarra. She barely had a room in the Necropolis before she had to leave after the War of the Banners.

How do they prepare to sleep?

Emmrich I see as have a very structured routine. A bath followed by applying his various lotions and potions to his hair and skin, I'm not saying the man has the Thedas equivalent to a Korean skincare regime, but I'm also not not saying it. Puts oh his fancy pyjamas (he strikes me as a silk pjs kind of man) then a calming cup of tea before brushing his teeth, getting his clothes ready for the next day, putting the ones from that day in the laundry basket. Then finally gets in to bed to read for a while before going to sleep.

Rowan in comparison is a lot simpler, not because she doesn't want to, but because she couldn't afford the lotions etc and never had the time or space. A wash if she can, then braids her hair, puts on her old worn shift and heavily darned socks (she's always cold), brushes her teeth, and then crashes out on the nearest flat surface. If she even bothers going to bed in the first place. She, Lucanis and Neve are giving each other a run for the worst insomniac in the Veilguard. Bellara is disqualified because she actually falls asleep while she's working.

Once they're sharing a bed, suddenly Rowan has a multitude of lotions, potions, and oils that Emmrich gifts her. She also has beautiful nightwear and warm slippers, stockings, and wraps to wear if she gets cold. Her old shift may have "accidentally" got burnt after a mysterious, very localised fire.

What do they wear to sleep?

Emmrich is an absolute silk pyjamas man and nothing will make me change my mind. In sumptuous jewel colours and no doubt embroidered with gold wherever it won't be itchy.

Rowan had a simple linen shift that is very old, faded, much mended and while it used to be black it is now a dingy grey shapeless thing that she has slept in for years. It's also the shift she wears under her "formal" dress when needed, or is her other dress that she wears when she's not on an expedition or patrol. It's ugly, shapeless, but it's all she has.

After Emmrich sees it, he makes it his mission to a) make sure she has beautiful things to sleep in and b) remove that shift from existence entirely. It's not that he doesn't think she's beautiful in it, she is stunning in his eyes no matter what she wears or looks like. It's the sheer magnitude of neglect and a life bare of anything like kindness or affection, it encompasses.

Do they cuddle?

Yes. Rowan is always cold and Emmrich is warm, so she always ends up draped over him and snuggled in, no matter her intention when she goes to sleep. Add in her nightmares and Emmrich noting that if he holds her, they are less frequent, then he sees no reason why they should deny themselves the pleasure of sleeping in each other's arms.

What are their preferred sleep positions?

Emmrich is a side sleeper preferably and Rowan is a curl up as small as I can to keep warm and maybe no one will find me if I'm small sleeper by necessity/upbringing to start. Once they're in the sharing a bed stage, then Emmrich is still a side sleeper with Rowan cuddled to his chest with her legs draped over his hips and her arm over her chest.

They do also often end up with Emmrich on his back and Rowan draped over his chest more often than not. She's unconsciously trying to get as much of her on his warmth, and even in his sleep he could never refuse her anything.

How easy do they fall asleep?

Emmrich falls asleep relatively easily, as long as he's not deep in his research or too deep in his own head.

Rowan just doesn't sleep unless she is just about ready to pass out, and even then it depends on how much caffeine she can get in her system before she crashes. Until she's sharing a bed with Emmrich. It's the first time she feels absolutely safe and secure, add in how warm she is, and she's out like a light.

It's not always effective as she's very good at ignoring her body's needs, but Emmrich knows if he can get her horizontal and next to him, then she'll sleep. That's the easy part. Catching her and getting her to listen is the hard part.

Do they toss and turn a lot?

Emmrich no unless he's in his own head.

Rowan to start, yes. She has nightmares, or a Dread Wolf in her head, or just bad headspace. Again, it gets better once they're sharing.

Do they snore?

Emmrich has been known to on occasion snore, but it's not all the time. And it's more gentle wuffles than full on snoring.

Rowan doesn't.

Who hogs the blanket?

Emmrich. Mostly only at the start and because he's used to having blankets to hog. Rowan doesn't fight for herself, even in her sleep. But as they're usually cuddles together, the blanket hogging quickly becomes a non entity.

What do they dream about?

Emmrich has mostly innocuous dreams, lots of whimsy and fade walking. He does have nightmares occasionally of losing his parents, losing Manfred after Blackthorn and after Tearstone losing Rowan and his fear of death.

Rowan has nightmares more than dreams. It's part of why she doesn't like to sleep. Not going to go into her nightmare subjects because a) Spoilers and b) dark subject maters.

How easily do they wake up?

Emmrich wakes up easily, but he typically sleeps deeply, so he doesn't wake up to every noise or movement once he's asleep.

Rowan sleeps like a 9-tailed cat in a rocking chair factory. She sleeps poorly if she even sleeps at all and every little noise or movement wakes her. It's from all her years of solo expeditions deep in the Necropolis, where sleeping too deeply was the fastest way to die quickly.

Once they're sharing a bed, she sleeps a bit better because she feels safe, but she still wakes up at the drop of a pin.

How awake they are afterwards?

Emmrich is fairly awake and chipper after waking, even if he had a late night.

Rowan is wide awake as soon as she opens her eyes and is usually on the move before then. She's not happy about it, but her survival hinged on it for too many years to easily unlearn it.

She gets more relaxed as they continue to share a bed and feel safe to grumble and take her time as she wakes up. But it's rare.

OK, this was so much fun, so I need to more people to do it so I can read about your ships and their sleep habits 😍

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[shellsstardew]

you made me ship shelliot so hard it's not even funny 😭 like normally im not super into rarepairs bc it seems ppl ship them just to ship them but i legit see where you're coming from, especially in the same context as your comic where their story begins after elliot moves in. i actually love your comic i cannot wait for the next part (not trying to pressure you obv). ive never gotten too many hearts with either of them but your characterization just feels so accurate like i feel like I could see your story with their dialogue happening in the game and it wouldn't feel out of place at all. and also finally (oops ive been rambling), your art style isn't overly detailed but the facial expressions/body language/like perspective i guess of the characters, especially shane and elliot on the dock is so well done, the small changes in positioning work so well to communicate the change in their body language and its just really impressive.

sorry i yapped or if it was weird or something i promise i was not trying to come off weird 😭😭😭 i just really admire good fanworks such as yours and it's important to tell authors/creators that they're doing well and yeah

also if you (or anyone else) has any shelliot fic recommendations i would loveee to hear them :>

No but seriously it's so funny that your like "I hope I'm not being weird" meanwhile I reread over and over your super thoughtful message to keep me going 😭

YOU GUYS DON'T REALIZE I NEED THOSE HYPER DETAILED COMPLIMENT or my stupid brain will go like "Okay time to think you're worthless and that what you're doing doesn't matter"

No I can point at the screen and say "See? 👉📱 SEE?! 👉👉📱?" and it's putting another coin in the machine hehe

Anyway, thank you so much 😭

AND YES I HAVE FICS TO RECOMMEND! ONCE AGAIN, @cutethulu you know the drill hehe

Camellia Station, by Awdrey (Explicit - but it's only one short smut scene in the last chapter for now)

Now it's still in progress (updating once a month) and they still didn't smooch yet, but that's what you get when you fall into the Shelliott rabbit hole, hehe, you can't be picky

It's really well written and the author and I have a lot of similarities in our interpretations of Shane and Elliott :) Go give it some love!

Also some one shots by @mongoosingisme that I really love :

Untitled Shelliott Ranch Project

Herding cats (Explicit - Shane/Elliott/fem!farmer)

And UHHH maybe you've seen it already but I wrote one about Shells, it's an alternate ending to part 34 (it's my first one and I'm really proud of it teehee)

Shells, alternate ending, by shells_stardew (Explicit)

Also @visionofthebees wrote this one for me on the same concept :

One Shell of a Night, by Visionofthebees (Explicit)

Be warned it's EXTREMELLY SILLY and she didn't even reread it before posting, but I love it with all my heart it's so so funny hahaha

I love her so imma also recommend her Clint x Elliott fic too (yes yes you read that right, she's 10 degrees further than me on the crack ship scene) :

Falling Ore You (Explicit) (46 chapters, completed)

LISTEN SHE MAKES IT WORK OKAY! SHE REALLY DOES!

And also, check my bookmarks! They are some non-Shelliott stuff that I absolutely love in there! (BUT always ALWAYS check the tags before reading, there is also some dark stuff haha)

Here you go, hope I didn't recommend all the ones you already knew about, as we all know this is not an extremely popular ship so this is what we get, quality over quantity hahahaa 😭

[dfroggofarson]

I want it All

chapter one.

It all started with a little crush.

He was a regular at the small bookshop you started working at a year ago. You were sure he was at least ten years older than you, and still (or was it because of your daddy issues) you couldn't help but instantly notice how good-loking he was. Sharp features, hazel eyes, precise movements, polite words – and with time, you caught onto the subtle things that made him unique. How he preferred darker shirts and lighter suits, how his tie always had a funny pattern. His shoes were spotless, just like his whole attire, his speech, his gestures. He always went to find books in business, sometimes at the cooking or science section, but never touched romance, fantasy or esoterics. When he came to pay, he always asked for a paper bag. To your surprise, he didn’t have a loyalty card, even though he came to the shop once every week.

He always greeted you respectfully, his voice low and reserved – the kind of voice that would make you trail off when he spoke, even though he never interrupted your speech – paid silently and wished you a great day. You never initiated small talk, but he didn’t seem like the type who would appreciate it.

He looked like a real gentleman. Calm and collected.

You had no idea then that you’d have to add chilling to the list later, as well.

After weeks and weeks of silently eyeing him from behind the counter, the day came when you decided to stop drooling over the way his muscles stretched on his forearms, or how he furrowed his brows when he was reading a blurb, so subtly nobody else would’ve noticed.

Stop, you tell yourself. There was no hope to begin with anyway.

But it was nice to look forward to a customer every now and then.

Setting the alarm and locking the door behind you, you put away your keys and step out to the street. You look at your phone – half past nine. Not too late to go to the supermarket.

"Good evening."

You snap your head to look at the direction the sound came from. And lo and behold – the very cause of your renewing hopeless romantic problem stands there, under a street light, his white suit draped across his arm while he looks at you. You almost gasp – how can he look so good even now? – but manage to stop yourself, as worry starts to flood your mind.

Why is he here? He sure looks like he was waiting for the shop to close, with how he was standing just a few feet away from the back door. But why is he at the back door?

"Oh, hi! I’m sorry, I just closed the store, you’ll have to come back tomorrow," you inform him while walking closer.

"Ah, please excuse me for disturbing you so late, but I'm not here because of that." He pauses for a second, and pushes his glasses up his defined nose. You can't help but follow his long fingers with your eyes. "I came to ask for your contact information."

Your face becomes pale. You look up at him, mortified, a million things running through your mind as to what you could have done wrong. Did you mess up one of his book orders? Or rang him up a book he didn’t buy? Gave him a plastic bag instead of a paper one?

"Alright, yes of course, but… I could call my manager tomorrow morning if you have any complaints, sir, it’s much faster to tell her, as reviewing written reports can take up to days…" You blabber on, sending yourself spiraling, when he – for the first time – cuts you off.

"I meant your number."

You shut up and look at him in disbelief. "My number?"

"Yes, your phone number. Except in case you wouldn’t like me to take you out sometime the next week."

You just stare at him. Is this real life? Is this happening to you? Is this the same man you have been lusting after for months? Aren’t you hallucinating?

The urge to shake your head or look around to see if he was talking to someone else is strong, but you brace yourself. You wouldn’t want to make an idiot out of yourself in front of him.

"No, it’s uhh, are you… really? Are you serious?" You ask instead, and already want to punch yourself in the face upon actually verbalizing the words. But he doesn’t laugh, just answers your question casually.

"Yes, I am."

You stare at him for a couple more seconds, then snap out of it. "Okay, yeah, I mean, sure. No, I mean, thank you, I'd love that," you just want the ground to swallow you whole before that, being all flustered and rambling nonsense. You almost don’t notice the small smile lingering on his lips when he pulls out his phone, opens the contacts and hands it to you.

"Thank you. And sorry for holding you up," Nanami apologizes, but you rather he’d disturb you all night long instead of just dropping by.

"Let me properly introduce myself, then. I’m Kento Nanami," he says then, and you too introduce yourself (awkwardly) while typing your number and name into his phone.

"It's really nice to meet you, Nanami," you smile at him as pretty as you can, then give his phone back to him. He looks at it, then snickers.

My God. I need to stop reading so many explicit novels.

"No, not at all, I was about to head home anyways," you shake your head. "Then… I guess we’ll see each other around?"

"We will," he confirms with a curt nod. "Well then, good night."

"Good night."

It’s only when you hop onto the bus you realize that you forgot to ask for his number. You want to scream in agony and embarassment, but there’s no helping it now.

You’d have to wait for him to contact you.

The next morning, you wake up before your alarm goes off, get ready and make yourself as pretty as you possibly can. The dress code is strict, but you can put on some lipstick and jewellery that is more shiny than what you usually wear. And throughout your workday, you check your phone at least three times a minute in case he calls, texts, or sends any kind of sign.

And well, the signal ends up being he himself.

Your eyes widen when you see him walk through the door casually, his gaze quickly finding yours. And then he actually smiles at you, and heads to the business section.

"Oh. My God. I did not just witness this."

You turn to see your coworker, Shoko standing behind you, a few books in hand, her jaw also on the floor. She looks even more bevildered than you do. She quickly closes the gap between the two of you and grabs you by the shoulders. "Are you kidding me?! Did you put airborne drugs in his books or something? How’d you sweet-talk Mr. Cool?"

A stupid grin spreads across your face. "I don’t know! Last night when I closed the shop he was waiting for me outside. Said he wanted my contact information," you giggle quietly, and Shoko’s eyes widen. "I though he was going to complain, but no, he asked for my number."

"Shut up," she says while putting the books to their designated shelves.

"I did, unfortunately. I forgot to ask for his number."

"You idiot!" She hits your arm playfully, and leaves to the counter to ring up a customer, then comes back. "But he did waltz in here with a pretty smile. Looks like you didn’t mess up."

"I hope so."

Your eyes return to the tall, blonde man still browsing in his favourite section. You want to believe you were the reason he came here, since he was in just two days ago, and he rarely shops twice in a week.

As though he felt your gaze, he looks up and meets your eyes. You blush, but hold his stare for a couple of seconds before you look away to help other customers.

A few minutes later he comes to your register with a book in his hand.

"Hello."

"Hi," you breathe back.

There is a silent moment when you forget that you’re actually a cashier and he’s here to buy a book. You recollect yourself quickly, and ring up his read. You raise your brows in surprise when you see what he bought – a romantasy you’ve been meaning to read for a few weeks but never got the chance. You try to hide your puzzled expression as you bag it.

"I thought you liked business books and autobiographies," you remark. Nanami puts his hand on the counter.

"It’s not for me."

"Oh, I see," and boom, you're already feeling stupid. Of course it's not for him.

But hen you hand him the bag, he doesn’t take it. Instead, he reaches to gently push it back towards you. "Enjoy your read. And call me when you’ve finished your shift. I hope you'll have a nice day."

Nanami then smiles at you again, and leaves the shop with a polite nod.

You are left standing there again, with no words, until you realize something is sticking out from one of the pages. You open it up curiously, and find a little note that reads:

’You look beautiful today.’

Followed by his phone number.

You try not to squeal and melt at the same time. How can this man be so smooth?

When Nanami gets home, the first thing he does is open your social media accounts.

The first time he did it a couple of weeks earlier, he was surprised to see how few posts you had online, one every few months, with two to six pictures and a short caption. You mostly posted pictures which had your face and your friends’ faces in it, given that most of your accounts were private.

But, well, who was he if he couldn’t break his way into a few private profiles?

He observed the pictures and read through your posts, memorizing your characteristics, likes and dislikes, the people you interacted with and the way you did it. He had learned that you broke up with your boyfriend around six months ago. Nanami could not believe you were with an idiot like that guy in the first place – but low standards meant it would be cakewalk to sweep you off your feet.

He analyzes every little detail he could find about your public and private life, up to the point that he could make a full profile from the top of his head just by reading through you socials and meeting you in the book store from time to time.

When he looks at a picture of you, grinning and hugging your coworker he saw you exchanging excited words with, the edges of his mouth slowly curl up into a smile.

Poor girl… She has no idea what she’s gotten herself into.

thank you all for your continued support!! i look forward to writing evil Nanami dribbles, hehe. it just fits his character so perfectly, i love it so much. cw! in the next few episodes, you can expect:

manipulation

graphic descriptions of violence

nsfw contents

nothing being as it seems

and idk - more horrible things i wouldn't write if i was sane. if you're sensitive to contents like these, please refrain from reading further. he's gonna be a bad guy, people. and i mean it. anyway see you in a few days, and please let me know if you liked this! @realalpacorn here you go bestie, hope you enjoyed this as well :3 have a nice day everyone <3

read the prologue here, and check out the little playlist i made on my Spotify acc here! dividers by @strangergraphics and @cursed-carmine

[snowangelnoelle]

putting together some bits from chapter four (mainly things said by the organikks) and the spamton sweepstakes page, possibly things that indicate what happened to dess?

so starting with the secret room in the long hall of windows in the second sanctuary (found by walking through one of the windows), there's a prophecy which just says "roots" with a picture of a house and trees. an organikk stands next to it. there also a bookshelf with a book you can read that says "and so wept the fallen star, making rivers with its tears. then, slowly, from the bitter water, something grew. it looked like glass." walking between this room and the hall of windows is how you access the egg room, which looks like a hospital and has kris seem to participate in art therapy, in a way that indicates they've perhaps done it before. also in the long window hall there are several organikks which, all their dialouge put together say, "what do you call a man with one eye? why does the angel make its cry? who will call the girl who snows? i don't know... ha ha ha... i don't know!". that's not necessarily important for this post but i do think that the "fallen star" that wept rivers and "why does the angel make its cry" is an interesting connection.

anyways, the organikk by the prophecy image says there is "something in between" (the egg room, presumably), and "it was mixed up", then says a bunch of words in a randomised order which is different each time - however the punctuation and capitalisation of the words never changes, so it's clear from that which the first and last words are.

i believe the correct order is most likely "Lost where the forest would grow, children followed the pointed tail." there was a page in the second round of spamton sweepstakes pages with the URL /lostwheretheforestwouldgrow which alluded to this room, showing part of the prophecy, so i'm assuming that's the first part (first because the "Lost" is always capitalised so is probly the first word, and "grow," always has a comma after it). "tail." always has a full stop so must be the last word, and the rest is just filling it in in the way that makes the most sense. the organikk then says "the poor children!" which is also the URL of a page on the deltarune site (which hinted at the egg room).

there's another set of prophecies later in the game that read "they'll hear the ring of heavens call / they'll see the tail of hell take crawl". given that a "pointed tail" could likely refer to a devils tail i think it's probably the same? especially with all the angel stuff, kris' devil horns from when they were young, and jevil who does have a pointed tail (though i'm not sure if it's specifically referring to him).

*and* when battling an organikk one of the things they can say is "the tail which must not be followed" which i think has got to be referring to the pointed tail followed by the children. another dialogue option for the organikks have in battle is "the tale which must be followed" which sort of contrasts the prophecy (the tale which must be followed) with the pointed tail which must NOT be followed, so maybe following this tail deviated from the prophecy somehow (maybe it lead to dess going missing/becoming the knight, when that wasn't what was prophesied)? i know some people have theorised that she was originally one of the "three heroes" before she went missing, so maybe her not fulfilling that role went against the prophecy? i'm not sure but i wanted to put all these pieces together since i haven't seen anyone collate them yet!!

[sage-nebula]

Kris' SOUL, Dess Knight, and Undertale Lore

Here are the things we know for sure right now:

December "Dess" Holiday went missing some time prior to the events of Deltarune

Dess liked sports, and had at least a wiffle bat

The Knight greatly resembles a deer monster who wields a sword that resembles a baseball bat

Kris is in cahoots with the Knight

We are able to control Kris via their human SOUL

Now, some have speculated that the SOUL we use to control Kris was put in them wholesale by Gaster or some other entity; that they woke up with the SOUL in them one morning, versus us making a connection with the SOUL overnight. Personally, I don't subscribe to this, because Kris had to already have a SOUL. All living beings in this world have SOULs. But suppose we wanted to consider that perhaps Kris WAS without a SOUL prior to the morning they woke up with us in control of them; how did they end up that way? And why?

Consider Undertale.

In Undertale, we learn the following about SOULs:

Now, in Undertale, this information was used to foreshadow what Chara and Asriel did as part of the buttercup plot that led to both their deaths. While we don't get a visual flashback of Charasriel bringing Chara's body to the village, I believe it is safe to speculate that Asriel's "God of Hyperdeath" form is what they looked like.

Here is normal adult Asriel:

And here is the "God of Hyperdeath":

As you can see, adult Asriel looks pretty normal, aside from the two random horns (spikes?) he has jutting out from his robe under the collar. But the God of Hyperdeath is next level; giant rainbow wings, longer and sharper horns, and a mechanized body. Wouldn't it make sense if THIS was what the humans who attacked Charasriel saw? If THIS was what terrified them so badly?

The point I am making here is, the God of Hyperdeath is a monstrosity, but it does still resemble Asriel, if you knew it was him beforehand. Absorbing Chara's SOUL transformed him, but the resulting transformation still resembled a goat monster.

Now consider the Roaring Knight.

Many people have already made comparisons between the Knight and the God of Hyperdeath, so I'm sure I don't need to point out the similarities between their sharp angles, or how the Knight still resembles a deer monster the way the God of Hyperdeath still resembles a goat monster.

But consider the lore in Undertale again. When a monster absorbs a human SOUL, they become "a horrible beast with unfathomable power." Doesn't this sound like the Knight? Not only are they warped beyond normal Lightner monsters, but they do have unfathomable power. They can knock Susie and Ralsei to -999 in a single blow. An arduous fight only gets them to 75% health. They can transform into at least a bird, if not more shapes, and travel effortlessly between the Light and Dark Worlds.

So I ask you:

Is it not possible that this is Dess Holiday after she absorbed Kris' original SOUL?

Consider the fact that Carol Holiday, who is also in cahoots with Kris and the Knight, has a fascination with "heart-shaped objects" (how Spamton refers to human SOULs) per her daughter Noelle when examining the heart pillows twice. Consider also that Dess had a pile of heart pillows in her closet.

Consider also that it is heavily implied Kris had something to do with Dess' disappearance, given the following:

Kris has trauma pertaining to the shelter, which has a dark world in it. This trauma manifested in them backing away from the storage closet dark world in chapter 1, Monster Teen alluding to Kris' fear of the shelter in chapter 2, Kris fighting against sending MiniKris there in chapter 3, and Kris having attended art therapy in chapter 4.

Kris is in cahoots with both the Knight and Carol.

Kris promised Carol something related to the dark worlds.

Toriel is hiding information about Dess from Kris. (See: the Toriel variable masking the black deer in the third Mantle map in chapter 3.)

Toriel and Carol seem to have had a falling out. (Toriel will only refer to Carol as "your wife" when speaking with Rudy, even after he corrects her.)

It is possible that Carol feels Kris was responsible for what happened to Dess and felt they should be held accountable, while Toriel refused in an effort to protect her already traumatized child, hence the falling out. Little does Toriel know, Carol got to Kris anyway, but that's another matter.

We know that Kris CAN get by without a SOUL, even easily; they move just fine without their SOUL in chapter 4, implying that their zombie walks before were just an act. Therefore, it's not too far-fetched to think that while they were born with a SOUL like everyone else, perhaps the night Dess disappeared, Kris and Dess had gone to the shelter. Using the church, Holiday, and police shelter codes (Kris would have the latter from Asgore), they got into the dark world . . . and whatever attacked them there spooked Kris' SOUL out of them, a la a battle. Dess absorbed their SOUL, perhaps in a moment of desperation to protect them both, and transformed into the Knight.

Now, the one rub here is that, when Asriel absorbed Chara's SOUL, Chara was also inhabiting that body. Control was split 50/50 between them. This is how Asriel was able to walk away from the villagers, despite Chara intentionally provoking them so they could kill them all. But Kris isn't in control of the Knight in any way. This could be because Kris wasn't dead; Kris can remove their SOUL, as we've seen, while still being conscious in their body. Perhaps this is why they have no control over the Knight's body, but also were still open to a new SOUL.

All in all, while I'm not dead set on this theory, I do think it is interesting to think about, and would explain how Dess became the Knight, as well as how Kris could get a second SOUL if we aren't connected to the one they were born with.

[freyafrida]

rilla of ingleside, chapter six

fairly short and less heavy chapter -- i mean, it's still quite sad buuuut less to grapple with re: the righteousness of WWI and speeches about whether or not it was worthwhile whew

“Who would be president? Not she. The older girls would not like that. Irene Howard? No, somehow Irene was not quite as popular as she deserved to be. Marjorie Drew? No, Marjorie hadn’t enough backbone. She was too prone to agree with the last speaker. Betty Mead—calm, capable, tactful Betty—the very one!”

Rilla puts together a Junior Red Cross! On the one hand, always appreciate indications that the Blythes and Merediths are not the only people in the Glen, on the other hand, who are these people

(My girl Una is treasurer! Why? Who knows. I do headcanon that she's probably a bit careful about money, having grown up somewhat shabbily in Rainbow Valley. I am intrigued by Rilla wanting to put her in any kind of official role if only because Una gives the vibe -- and Rilla herself later says -- that she's happy just doing whatever.) (Also inch resting choice to put Una in the Junior Red Cross -- she's ten in RV which takes place in 1906 iirc? So she's about three years older than Rilla; RV says she's also only a year younger than Faith/Nan/Di, who are in the regular Red Cross. Some older girls like Irene are also in the Junior Reds, idk if the split is between the social circles of the girls that went to college and not.)

Rilla herself thinks that she has an aptitude for planning and organizing that surprises her, and we also see her perceptiveness about people again here, figuring out how everyone's personalities will fit in the Red Cross group. I love it, although I'm trying to imagine how that would play into her future? Tbh she actually would've made a good teacher, had she gone to Queen's. I guess she probably would make a good society wife, assuming she marries Ken and they throw a bunch of parties in Jazz Age Toronto together. rilla/carl agenda time: they travel the world together looking for bugs and rilla organizes all the train and ship schedules

“You have basted the top hem of that sheet on one side and the bottom hem on the other,” said Di.”

aaand this is the only thing Di says to Rilla across three books 💀 (is this Di's only line of dialogue in this book entirely?)

The bit where Anne mentions wanting to pick baby Jem up at night and Gilbert saying it would foster bad habits sounds so familiar but it's not in House of Dreams, so I can only assume it's because I've read this book eighty million times (the closest thing in HOD is their little discussion about baby talk, although Gilbert never quite protests against baby talk; the narration only notes he's not entirely sure the anti-baby talk author -- predecessor to Morgan? lol -- is wrong).

“Jem Blythe and Jerry Meredith left next morning. It was a dull day, threatening rain, and the clouds lay in heavy grey rolls over the sky”

😢 Heartbreaking to think that their families thought they'd see Jem and Jerry again in a few months -- if the worst didn't happen -- only for the two of them to serve the entire war. (also the running bits of the bravery and stoicism of the women at home are here again, idk perhaps I'll think of more to say when that pops up again in the future)

(Mary cries over Jem and Jerry enlisting!!! I love her idc.)

“but almost everybody in the Glen and Four Winds and Harbour Head and Upper Glen and over-harbour--except Whiskers-on-the-moon--were there to see them off.”

Sometimes when I write fanfic I just stick one of these names in there for the setting bc I really have no idea where any of these places are in relation to each other or if they're all considered separate towns or what

“Mrs. Drew did not understand but Rilla did. She flung up her head. Her brother did not have to be urged to go.”

@theincorrigiblemagpie brought up the good point that Rilla is very proud of Jem and a bit scornful of the families whose sons don't enlist, while simultaneously reassuring Walter that it's fine for him to be too afraid to enlist. My feeling is that...yeah, Rilla is just being hypocritical about her favorite brother lmao -- although with further thought, I do wonder if part of it is also defensiveness, as several people actually are a bit discouraging of Jem and Jerry enlisting. (Jem and Jerry are the only ones, it seems, that enlist from the Glen.) There's criticism from some of the characters (Mary, Mrs. Drew, the Reeses) that the war is a lot of fuss over nothing, and the boys rushing off to fight are doing something stupid.

“A queer little wind of desolation that even Jem’s going had not caused, blew over Rilla’s spirit.”

LMAOOO this is in relation to Ken going back to Toronto. Your brother is leaving for war, Rilla 💀 Honestly, I was never a huge Jem fan (too well-liked and well-adjusted to interest me I'm afraid) but I'm starting to come around on him, mostly because I feel bad that Nan and Rilla are freaking out about Jerry, Walter, and Ken enlisting/not enlisting and then are like "Oh yeah and it's sad Jem is going too." lmao, jeez guys.

(Also, totally didn't notice in the lighthouse dance chapters, but Mary is always calling Ken "Ken", while Rilla calls him "Kenneth" up until midway through the book. Idt Ken and Mary know each other like that? It would be so on-brand for Mary to assume familiarity with him, though, and I say this with affection.)

The bit with all the snatches of conversation -- everyone moving on with their lives, offering opinions on the men's enlistment though they aren't the ones affected -- feels so real. "A Long, Long Way to Tipperary" is referenced! It predates WWI but is v. much associated with it (per the glossary, it gained popularity as a marching song) although idk if it would be anachronistic for a rando Canadian to know it that well before any Canadians had gone overseas to fight. Anyway, ngl it's a catchy song.

“Jem kissed Faith before everybody”

in front of God and everybody!!! not to be my grandma or anything. Intrigued by Rilla saying she "thinks" they are really engaged last chapter -- that makes it seem like it's not really a formal thing? I suppose maybe they just...agreed upon it between each other, and Jem would later tell their families and it would become official? (I briefly thought an informal engagement right before going off to war was insanity but then remembered that Jem almost certainly didn't think he'd be gone that long.)

“Nobody missed Dog Monday at first. When they did Shirley went back for him. He found Dog Monday curled up in one of the shipping sheds near the station and tried to coax him home. Dog Monday would not move. He wagged his tail to show he had no hard feelings but no blandishments availed to budge him. “Guess Monday has made up his mind to wait there till Jem comes back,” said Shirley, trying to laugh as he rejoined the rest.”

Shirley! \o/ Brief insight to his personality here (trying to crack a joke to ease the atmosphere).

I have no real feelings on Monday waiting for Jem and I feel kinda bad :( I find it cute but not super moving. Dogs are to me what babies are to Rilla, I guess -- I like them but that's about it? Lmao sorry Monday. Glad there's another member of the Blythe family that cares about Jem's enlistment ❤️

Also I was reminded that the way Monday is described (yellow with black spots) honestly has always made me picture him as a banana slug. Sorry Monday (again some more)

glossary bits:

Readying Rilla bits:

Rilla originally thinks of putting in "Jen Vickers" as treasurer; the name later pops up as a girl Rilla doesn't like.

Two cut instances of Selwyn Ken calling Rilla "Rilla-my-Rilla"; he doesn't call her that at all in the final version.

Repeated references to Monday as "Rags" in the draft of this chapter as well.

There's a cut mention of "the other three volunteers" leaving with Jem and Jerry, presumably the three boys who "followed their example" that were cut from chapter 5 -- which leaves Jem and Jerry as the only ones that rushed to enlist from the Glen? (It feels obvious now but idk, Jem says "scores" of men are enlisting, I always assumed that maybe there were some people from over-harbor or Four Winds or one of those towns who enlisted and just weren't mentioned.)

Ken originally refers to his ankle as "blooming" instead of "bally", lmao.

Rilla originally lisps and calls Selwyn/Ken (Kenwyn?) "Thelwyn."

Cut line of Rilla wanting to "scratch Nathan's eyes out" (re: Nathan Crawford, who says "them young fools are just going for adventure). There's def. moments of Rilla getting angry in the book, but not quite this kind of violence, so that's interesting.

Di was forgotten from the group of Blythe kids walking back from the station (it says "Walter and Una and Shirley and Carl and Rilla"), I guess it happens to all Blythe kids eventually!

Walter originally goes back for Monday; he's replaced by Shirley (Walter originally makes Shirley's joke about Monday waiting there for Jem, which def. doesn't sound entirely like him!)

[ri-writes-if]

I had to put this in bullet points so I don’t vomit a paragraph wall.😮‍💨

Ahem.

1. I JUST WANNA BITE ALL OF THEM-AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH

2. I knew mom was triflin’ but my god💀 WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU WOMEN!??!

3. The moment I found out you tell everybody about the empty vision when Ash ask if you will, had me back tracking to fast. I AM A FIRM BELIEVER IN NOT TELLING THEM ABOUT THE EMPTY VISION SO BAD I HAVE A PROBLEM. I be sacrificing making actual/real/caring relationships cause I’m paranoid. 💀

4. YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW BAD I NEED TO SEE ERBODYS POV FOR WHAT JUST WENT DOWN OMG! I thought I’d just wanna see who whomever you’re pursuing (be it romantic or platonic) POV but, NO. I need’em all at the same time. (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

5. WHO CAUGHT ORACLE!? I wanna say Az cause they were sitting next to us but-!!😩

6. Whomever’s arms we were in also tried to wipe Oracles face😭

7. ARE WE BLEEDING FROM OUR EYES!?

8. I JUST KNOW ASH IS STRESSIN

9. The amount of angst/self deprecation/feeling somehow responsible for such a big problem that is not even your fault. Again. This predicament is-😮‍💨🤤🍽️

10. I’m scarred. Can’t eat food no moe. Now the RO gon have another problem to deal with.

11. We can’t win😭 The moment Oracle thinks, “Oh well maybe life ain’t so bad? Maybe I can actually make real relationships with these demons?” Abyss-,”Bah! Hold my beer”👹

12. The visions are different depending on the route🤔

Ima stop. My brains fried. I’ll come back later.🫰

3. You're free to tell or not to tell, but there will be consequences either way eventually ;)

4. Alas, I won't be writing everyone's POV at the same time, but at least there will be your route's POV! And if you read all of them, you could say you'll get all their POVs haha 😂

5. The Oracle was caught by their route, no matter if your path is platonic or romantic.

I'm glad you had fun with the update! I hope you'll enjoy the pain mess in chapter 7 😁🫶

[lunaatthezoo]

Please please tell me what'd you put on your writing of Tarot+chocolate, cause how is it possible that I became addicted to it after only TWO CHAPTERS? 😩 You dropped the third and I devoured it, I need to know more about the whole princessxknight story. I'm sorry if this message comes as aggressive 😂, but it's just me trying to put in words my addiction and admiration to this story 🤗

Helloooooo PLEASE never apologize for being aggressive, I love aggressive love. Thank you so much for your message and for enjoying tarot + chocolate. I hope you're still loving the story! Ive got a draft of the next chapter ready to be edited and posted 😏✨

Here is a preview for you, love:

Azriel unblocked Elain’s number Monday night, and left it unblocked. He supposed they were…friends, now, although he didn’t typically come into his hand nightly thinking about his friends. He didn’t imagine their asses bouncing as he pounded into them from behind. He didn’t fear and want them in equal, infuriating measures.

But he unblocked her number, because, whether he tried to resist her or not, Elain seemed determined to get under his skin and stay there. He was sure of this fact when, on Tuesday morning as he was furiously typing away his computer, his phone buzzed. He picked it up to a text that read, “Did you unblock me?” He shook his head, chuckling. He responded with a simple “Yes,” and then put it back down, his mood slightly lifted.

He didn’t get another text from her all day. He was just packing up his things to go home at 6:30 when his phone buzzed again, and he pretended that he didn’t get infuriating butterflies of excitement.

“I used my research skills to find out how I would hypothetically fuck you. Intriguing.”

[sdxstudio]

Chapter 16

Patrice woke up, hearing the door slam. She looked at what it was, and saw Vincent, smirking evily. She then looked next to her, and froze. Fritz woke up too, and looked at her. They were looking at each other.

Patrice: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?!

Fritz: YOUR BED?! ISN'T THIS MY BED?!

Patrice: YOUR IS THE LEFT ONE!

Vincent: I didn't know you two have a thing~

Patrice: SHUT UP AND GO AWAY!

Vincent: I hope you two had some fun last night~

Patrice picked up a shoe and threw it at him. Before it got him, Vincent runned away with a giggle.

Patrice: let's not talk about this...

Fritz: agreed...

Patrice got up and went to the bathroom to shower, leaving Fritz behind. Fritz was just blushing, thinking about what could have happened last night. She then started to dress up. After shower, Patrice dressed up and they both went out. There were the others waiting for them.

Patrice: hey Fazgang.

Mike: why you two look so tired?

Vincent giggled. Mike looked at him confused.

Mike: what are you so happy about?

Vincent: nothing, just nature things~

Mike: weirdo...

Fritz: so what are we doing today?

Scott: we are going on a beach. Today's weather is great for a swim.

Chris: sounds good.

They all went to a beach. After arriving, they all were putting their own umbrellas and towels on the sand. They all then went to changing rooms and went out in swimsuit. Almost all of them were normal. They looked at Vincent and saw him wearing a woman two pieces swimsuit, with a lipstick and hair tied up.

Scott: VINCENT?! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!

Vincent: oh, this? This is a red bikini, with a Brazilian bottoms. You like it~?

Scott: I rather not look at it...

Mike: uhhh...?!?!

Patrice: you look hot-

They all looked at Patrice with concern. Vincent smiled happily. He then walked up to her and hugged her.

Vincent: see? Someone with a good taste complimented me~

Scott: at least it is not a birthday suit...

After some time, Fritz went out too. She was wearing a woman one piece swimsuit. Almost everyone looked surprised at her.

Mike: Fritz too?

Vincent: see? I am not only the one who wears something good~

Scott: let's just go...

They all went away, except of Patrice, who was still standing there. Fritz frowned.

Fritz: is it looking bad? Tell the the truth...

Patrice: I mean, it suits you. You are looking adorable in it.

Fritz looked away, blushing. Patrice took her hand.

Patrice: let's go and have fun. And don't look at others. I know this might be your first time wearing it, but don't worry.

Fritz: s-sure!

They walked back to the others. They all had fun. Some were swimming. Patrice and Vincent were splashing each other with salty water. Mike was sunbathing with Dollores. Jeremy and Chris went for an ice cream. Scott and Vincent fell asleep on each other in shade of their umbrella. Mike, Chris, Jeremy, Fritz, Dollores and Patrice were playing beach volleyball. At they end, they all sat together, roasting marshmallows. Mike looked and Fritz and Patrice.

Mike: sooo...what are you two exactly?

Patrice looked at Fritz, took her hand and was holding it. Fritz nodded to her.

Fritz: Mike...I am a trans woman...

Mike: cool.

Fritz got surprised.

Fritz: wait, you accept me?!

Mike: duh! You are my friend for years! How could I not accept you?!

Others nodded.

Jeremy: I know this must have been not easy to tell us, but I think that we can all agree, that you still are our friend, Fritz.

Fritz: can you all call me Fritzie? Someone dear to me suggested this name.

Chris: sure! It suits you well!

Mike: how about you, Patrice?

Patrice: well, it is complicated. It depends on a day. Once I'm this, other day I'm that. I don't know myself yet-

Dollores: sounds like genderfluid.

Patrice: huh?

Dollores: it means that the identity of person's gender changes over time or fluctuates.

Mike: congrats.

Patrice: thanks.

Vincent: why you never asked me?

Mike looked at Vincent, annoyed.

Mike: we all know what you are, Vincent. You are telling us this everyday...

Scott: you are bolder than a font.

Patrice rested her head on Mike's shoulder. She got really tired after a full day of fun. Mike's marshmallow was straight up burned, so he putted another one on. Fritz took the burned marshmallow and started to eat it. At least it didn't went to waste. Patrice was eating a marshmallow slowly. After some time, she fell asleep.

Vincent: I'll take her back.

Scott: sure?

Vincent took Patrice on hands and walked away with her to her vacation house. He putted her down on bed, and covered with a blanket. He just sat near her, thinking when he got so soft. After a while, they all went back. Jeremy's and Fritzie's face were covered in marshmallow goop, from eating so many marshmallows. Mike had to take Chris, because he fell asleep. It was a good day. After Fritzie walked into a house, Vincent was already in his own house.

Scott: I don't understand something. Why you took her?

Vincent: well. I just felt like it. Besides, we are friends, so you know.

Scott: thank you, Vin. Also you look good in this bikini~

Vincent: thanks, Scotty~

Original FNAF AU story (re-written)

Okay so, this story changed a bit. Still there is my OC in it. Chapters will be under.

[bbbartblog]

Some art related to my fancomic and some art is just random PonyxMuffy drawings~

[picaroroboto]

the quality of Limbus Company's character writing is such that for every Canto, even if the subject Sinner isn't like an absolute fave of mine or anything, there's just such a strong feeling of mixed compassion, pity, and affection for each that more often than not I end up staying up till odd hours of the morning clearing Canto Dungeons as if I can't sleep until I know our guy is okay.

like the other day after I'd cleared Nocturnal Sweeping and was discussing and theorizing with my brother about Hong Lu I swear I was getting worried enough that I felt a physical reaction like my body tensing up as if I was about to be punched right in the chest. I remember one of the promo taglines for Limbus was "Are you prepared to share the pain?" but I hadn't expected it to get literal like this lol

[calamitoustide]

new ship unlocked?

[keeps-ache]

nothing to say?