#So it's not... Wrong in this particular fanfic.. but... It feels wrong and gross anyway..

[l1ttle-cha0s]

A request?

IDK man I just suddenly wanted to read Og!KRS in a romantic relationship with Bruce Wayne aka Batman. It would be ether HILARIOUS or RAW SHATTERED GLASS (aka hurt, aka angst, aka DRAMA)

[lochlogie]

I have no problem with gay ships but why do people ship incest ships? Like, why would you ship siblings? It’s just wrong. It’s not a one off either. Incest is just so wrong, and the fact that people think it’s okay, let alone ship it and even write fanfics about it, is just gross. Honestly in my opinion it's a fine line of inconsiderate and disrespectful for those that have been victimized by family members in incestuous sexual abuse and never had a choice in the matter! I'm a pretty wide open person and I'm lesbian as well as someone also said above. I don't offend easily (EVER) but that being said I also believe it's human decency to be aware and treat some topics with the sensitivity they deserve! This whole incestuous relationship crap is definitely something twisted and diabolical for someone to even think that it's normal and acceptable! I think these tags shouldn't be allowed even. What if you become a mother and have two sons? And in this way you also dilute real gay issues and what you are doing is actually straight white male fetishization #stopshippingincest

We need to narrow our scope of what shipping means. Do you mean, support, squee over, want to be canon, goon to? Do you also mean, acknowledge, "legitimize," discuss, and tolerate? Because saxloch is technically canon? Brother/brother intercourse occurred in the show, and I discuss it and how it affects the characters involved. We actually need to make a lot of things clear. I am a gay man. I'm a white gay man in fact. I can't fetishize my own demographic. I am more an expert in "real gay issues" that pertain to gay men than you will ever be. I will also never have children but that's beside the point.

Because I don't have an incest kink. I don't know if you're "accusing" me of anything or just asking for me to discuss fandoms in general. But I am normally so against incest shipping that I got chased out of the Flash fandom for being like "Um, why does Barry Allen consider Joe West his real father but also wants his real father's daughter? Okay..." and yeah maybe I need to clam down a little. I try not to judge. What I find compelling about saxloch is not that they're brothers and ooh how scandalous. But I find brotherly relationships compelling in general (I only have sisters so it's like studying an alien civilization for me lol), and saxloch in particular allows me to explore how what should be and sometimes almost is a wholesome brotherly relationship turns out so deranged and toxic.

(There's also the whump aspect, seeing my blorbo go through emotional distress because of his shithead groomer brother like yeah... that's good content).

People like toxic shit, what can I say? Like, I really like arranged marriage au's, even though in most cultures that practice(d) it, it's a misogynistic institution rife with nonconsensual implications and would never apply to gay couples anyway. So am I supporting something bad? Am I deludedly sexualizing a practice that goes hand in hand with homophobia? Maybe that's a weak comparison, and a copout.

I agree, that incest in real life is a manifestation of familial abuse. But I have consistently differentiated between Real Incest and Fantasy Incest, which is what people in fandoms are indulging in, and in fact what most media that depicts incest uses. Do I find it a little... unimaginative that people who ship incest view it as a sexual orientation, and that the primary driving emotional force of their stories is "We're made for each other, but society won't accept us, I wish I could quit you, what will mamà and papà think"? Well yes. But consider that maybe these people aren't comfortable or don't feel equipped to explore the themes of grooming and sibling abuse and how traumatizing and confusing it is. I would love personally for people to explore just how fucked up saxloch would be if it were treated like realistic incest. I want Lochlan to be acknowledged as a victim, not just to vindicate my own emotional response (based on my own trauma), but so I can reach through the screen and put a bandaid on his booboo and kiss it better. You know, heal the child I see myself in, gay ass shit like that?

And yeah, all that said, it can be triggering if you're an incest survivor to see people sanitize or celebrate what happened to you. But my advice for that is, block! Protect yourself first, moralize second lol.

I hate to say "that's life deal with it," but people have been railing against this since livejournal was the main fanfiction platform, and it hasn't stopped anyone. People are going to take your pain (whatever that is) and find it cute or even beat their meat to it. There's nothing you can do as one person about it, so stop harming yourself and fixating on it!

I've never been to conversion therapy, but I've been threatened with it. That was actually such a horrible time in my life lmaooo. Conversion therapy au's are not something I want to read; the research and care required is typically not done, and setting a bland coming of age romcom in torture camps is... odd. I may privately judge people who find this a compelling setting for gay yaoi love stories. But the only person I can control is myself. The only person I'm accountable for is myself. I can discuss the ~problematic~ nature of these things in a general sense, but it's not my place or responsibility to get people who like conversion therapy as a fanfiction trope to "be better." And again, maybe that's a copout, since these au's are pretty universally reviled and many people speak out against them in concept and they've largely disappeared.

So it's a matter of culture almost? What's considered broadly acceptable changes like the tides. And to that I say, I don't fucking know? I mean, incest is widely condemned anyway, so that only makes the incest shipping "community" more tight knit. My hunch for most incest shippers is that it's more than a fun fanfiction setting like a conversion therapy au, they are aroused by it, as a concept. Human sexuality is complex, but it's largely set in stone once you reach a certain age. People are precious about their kinks, and there's a powerful group behavior impulse in fandom spaces on top of that, especially if they feel persecuted. So I think a lot of it is identifying with a character who has fucked up desires and wants someone he shouldn't (and yeah it is mostly white boys so go figure) because that's how they feel.

Of course some people clock into incest shipping like it's their job and start making incest au's or shipping siblings who aren't actually part of an incest subplot. Those are the professional gooners, and they're really not going to stop being turned on by this shit just because you wag your finger at them. So at the risk of sounding glib, just move on?

If you have enough empathy to imagine/understand what it's like to enjoy unhealthy or toxic fictional content (in a romantic/sexual sense), but not enough empathy to realize you shouldn't go up to random people and (albeit both parties are anonymous) yell at them demanding they explain themselves to you and apologize for indulging in fiction? No, it's a chop for me. If you're genuinely experiencing emotional distress, you need to go take care of yourself now. If you're just intellectually sneering at people that you are not actually superior to (we're all human and we're all weirdos in different ways) then you need to get over yourself.

[angelsndragons]

so i'm just gonna write this real quick because i am seeing it again and i just want to get my thoughts out:

fans can write whatever the fuck they want, no matter how offensive it is or how "against canon" it is. yes, that includes stuff that "erases" a character's canon identities. can it be gross? yep. am i going to stop anyone from doing it? nope. i will instead block that person and send notes to the fandom buddies i trust to block them as well. i will write or rec the stuff that isn't offensive. fanfic is fanfic and the solution to fans being shitty is to not give the shitty takes any oxygen.

look, i have always shipped fjord and cad as lifelong qpr 'may be occasionally down for sex as stress relief but it and romance otherwise play no meaningful roles in their relationship' partners. i may have changed the tags i use on ao3 for their relationship status (mostly bc i didn't want to get blasted by the gatekeep police but here we are anyway) but my views on their dynamic have not really changed because i have always viewed caduceus in particular through an aroace lens. i ship fjord and caduceus. and i always will because i love their dynamic and i love how their individual themes and struggles can weave together with them as partners. and i like the fact that their relationship is canonically difficult for the two of them to define bc boy howdy do i relate to that. they are family, sure, but they're not brothers, they're not teacher/student, they're not strictly friends bc honestly i don't think caduceus has those strict categories of which love is which. but fjord is special to caduceus and obviously so throughout the campaign. even when caduceus comes to see jester and beau as his sisters, for example, there's a very clear cut dynamic there that there isn't with fjord. their having a very difficult to label relationship and exploring what that looks like and entails, that means something to me bc that's me.

i'm not sure romantic love is even a thing that people feel. you ask me if i'm interested in a sexual and/or romantic relationship, i say, no, i'm interested in a relationship and we go round in circles for three hours as we misunderstand each other bc again, sexual attraction and romantic love do not exist and you cannot convince me they do. the vocab for how i view my relationships, how i want my relationships defined, does not exist.

and here's the thing: there are no meaningful explorations of what relationships outside the romantic/sexual/platonic boundaries society imposes on people with in it and stories produced by it. there is no way to say 'this person is the most important person in my life, i want to build a life centered with them' without those romantic and sexual tags attached to them. so yeah, i will project like a motherfucker onto caduceus and explore it for myself bc finally, i have a character who can see things the way i do and with whom i can process all that shit.

there is no right or wrong way to be ace/aro, there is no erasing sexual or romantic attraction identities by being in a relationship or by writing an aroace character in a relationship. there are better and worse ways to write them, duh, and people are welcome to read whatever the fuck they want and block what they don't.

i guess my other complaint on this is that it's only cad who's being held to this standard. he's not interested in "what you all have going on" in canon. cool. fjord and caleb aren't interested in each other, neither are yasha and jester yet somehow that's okay but some fan writing cad in a relationship isn't? essek's demi-ace but i don't see people saying his relationship with caleb invalidates his asexuality.

in closing once again, ace/aro are sexual and romantic attraction models, actual acts undertaken are completely separate beasts that have nothing to do with the attraction models in question.

[neverthrive]

Just gonna leave this old ass fanfic here

Adventuring is a rewarding occupation, providing an abundance of wealth, the respect of peers, and even a fulfilling sense of self worth. Even so, the constant action takes its toll, and every once in a great while an adventurer has to take a step back, breathe in deeply, and just get away from it all. Which is exactly what Jake had been planning for himself and his human brother.

It was a simple idea; take a break from their regular schedule of evil slaying, butt-kickery and all around, nonstop awesomeness. Find some remote location that holds nothing but tranquility in store for the duo to just chillax at for a few days. Just the two of them, a dog and his boy. It was perfect, but like any other well laid plan, there was a monkey wrench destined to find its way into the cogs of said perfection and jam Jake's precise synchronization up something awful. This particular monkey wrench goes by the name of Marceline.

"What are you dweebs up to?" Inquired a melodically cynical voice that belonged to none other than the ancient noirette in question. Marceline stared down ever curiously at the mixed species siblings and their growing mess as she liesurely drifted on the air over their heads. From what she could tell, her mortal friends appeared to be gathering heaps of useless garbage and stowing the junk in their already cramped luggage, for some reason or another.

Finn took a moment to acknowledge the vampire's presence, looking up from his loaded pack to face her. "I'm not actually sure, myself... Jake just told me to start packing my crud, and I guess that's what I'm doing, so does that answer your question?"

"Not in the least." she replied curtly before turning her now suspicious gaze in Jake's direction. The dog paid Marceline no mind as he continued to toss his various and mostly useless possessions into a sack. A rubber duck, a length of rope, a jar of peanuts, a pair of socks... Finally, he stored two empty glass bottles and closed the sack, still oblivious to the vampire's questioning stare. "Jake, what the plum is with all the hullabaloo?"

"Nope." Jake snapped, mildly irritated.

"'Nope'? Nope what?" She pressed him, ignoring the dog's tone.

"No. I'm not gonna tell you because you'll just want to come with us and muck it up. It's s'pose to be just me and mah bro, and you have no part in it. So no, Marceline, you can't come camping with us." Jake retorted in his best attempt at sounding authoritative, but in trying to iterate just how serious he was, the fact that he was suppose to be withholding information had slipped his mind a tad. He soon realized his mistake and growled in frustration. "Forget I said that last part!" But ironically, that last part about ignoring that previous last part was ignored by both teens.

"We're going camping?" Finn and Marceline asked in unison, excitement bubbling up in their throats.

"Yes, Finn, WE are. And no, Marceline, WE are not. Got it?" Jake answered pointedly. "It's camping time with Finn and Jake. I didn't hear Marceline anywhere in there, so step off sister!"

"Well fine! Maybe I didn't want to go on your stupid trip anyway!" Marceline pouted sorely and turned to leave, but Finn, being the model peacekeeper he is, blocked his friend's exit. "Get out of the way, Finn. I'm obviously not wanted here anymore." The vampire queen tried to push the boy aside, but no matter how hard she shoved, the squishy blob of flesh and heroism persisted to keep her from leaving.

"Come on, Jake's just being a butt. You don't have to leave on account o' him bein' a Mr. grumpy pants." Finn gently wrapped a hand around Marceline's forearm and began to lead her back over to his brother so as amends could be made.

"He doesn't even wear pants, dude." she huffed out in retortion as she let herself be pulled back towards the junk heaps that the magical dog was still busying himself with sorting through and packing into napsacks and suitcases and the like.

"Jake..." Finn verbally nudged his brother to outstretch the olive branch to Marceline, but an apology seemed hesitant in forthcoming. "Come on, man. You know you done bad in yourself bro, and I know you know how to make it right again." Finn's prompt appeared to have worked this time, eliciting a defeated sigh from Jake.

Dropping his bags of assorted and worthless loot, Jake turned to face Marceline who now had her arms crossed over her chest and was avoiding eye contact with him. "Look, I'm sorry, alright?" Marceline untensed a bit at that. "It's not you, It's just that I really wanted to have some bro time with Finn, y'know? To recapture those times we used to share when we was wee pups." Jake inhaled deeply, breathing in the musty scent lingering about from the, until recently, long forgotten contents of that once overstuffed closet in the corner. He had a feeling in his gut that he'd regret this decision later, and his gut was almost never wrong, but he couldn't ignore his guilt and empathy for Marceline. She just wanted to hang with her friends. "So... You want to come with us, then?"

The vampire's sour mood dissipated immediately, her pout rapidly shifting to a grin stretched from pointed ear to pointed ear. "Heck yes I wanna go camping with you guys! So when are we leaving?" Marceline asked almost giddily.

"Well I guess since you're coming with us, we probably shouldn't be heading out 'til just before sundown." Jake answered thoughtfully. Having so much time before they were to depart allowed Jake some spare moments to cool it with all the preparations and freed up his thinkin' schedule a bit. Suddenly, a thought pervaded his mind that the dog rather took a shining to. "If we're bringing guests along now, Lady Rainicorn's coming too!" and with that, Jake took off to go inform his girlfriend of how he'd decided she would be spending the next few days. The matter was entirely non negotiable.

Finn and Marceline stood idly by as Jake hastily absconded out through a nearby window. The young hero turned to his immortal friend "You know, he actually does wear pants..."

"Really?"

"Yup."

A quarter hour before dusk would settle in, the four campers had reached the landing Jake scouted out beforehand. It was a small pocket within the forest, not too far from a river, vacant enough to comfortably fit everyone but with a dense enough canopy to shade any vampire from daylight at high noon. Having acquired a suitable base of operations, the only thing left standing in between Jake and his cherished relaxation was setting up camp. The duties were divied up between two groups.

"So Lady and I are gonna pitch our tent, by ours I mean hers and mine. I don't know what either of you are doing so... Sleep under the stars or whatever. But also, we need a campfire, so you guys should maybe gather some sticks and twigs and stuff, and it'll be math. 'Kay." Jake then spoke something in a language neither Finn nor Marceline could comprehend to Lady, who laughed in response, and the two magical creatures diligently began piecing together the frame of their shared tent. The rainicorn giggled lightly every time Jake slipped a tent pole into the corresponding connector she held.

Marceline narrowed her eyes at the spectacle and made a face. "Gross..." She thought it best to linger around the couple and their disgusting adorableness as little as inhumanly possible and began to head towards the surrounding thickets. Finn soon followed suit, tailing behind his friend into the thick of the forest to gather materials for their fire.

"So like, sticks, huh?" The human remarked as he bent over to scoop a discarded twig from the earth.

Marceline turned to see Finn's pitiful offering. Their fire would need a lot more fuel than some measly green branches. "No man, we need bigger stuff than that." she explained. "And preferably a little more dead." she added.

"Bigger?" Finn thought it over for a moment. "Alright, bigger." Turning to face a tree, the stout teenager grappled the trunk and with all his might attempted to pry the poor unsuspecting eudicot from the soil. "I need your wood, tree! Give it up, yo!" Finn continued his struggle while Marceline cackled at his random act of foolishness.

Seeing no sign of Finn relenting any time soon, his undead friend intervened. "Finn, we don't need a whole tree. And you most def don't gotta yank one out'a the ground. C'mere, ya goober." she beckoned while barely supressing her laughter. Finn looked from Marceline then back to the tree in his grasp, releasing the bark from his grip and gaining nothing from his efforts but sore arms.

"Look," she pointed to a fallen branch that looked as if it'd been laying on the forest floor for a few seasons now. "This is the kind of stuff we're gonna need. Big enough to burn, and not impossible to pick up, got it? Now get it." Finn did as instructed, bending to take the dry, rough chunk of high octane campfire fuel in his arms. "Alright, now just find a lot more like it and we're good to light 'em up."

"How many more?" Finn asked wearily.

"I don't know. Lots, I suppose. Have to keep it going for a while." she replied, venturing deeper into the woods to search for any more decent firewood she might per chance stumble upon. Figuratively, that is, it's hard to sumble when your feet don't touch the ground.

"Bleh..." Despite his contempt for such menial labor, Finn once again followed the vampire to gather what they needed. It was an easy enough job, but way too dang boring for a man of action. Finn needed excitement, and lugging sticks around wasn't providing.

When they'd finished gathering the firewood and the time came to actually light the fire, Finn demanded he be the one to do the deed. And so there they sat across from one another, a neatly arranged pile of dead wood between them. Finn furiously stroked the sticks together in a fruitless attempt to catalyze a spark.

"This usually works! These things must be broken, or something..." Finn pouted and heaved the useless wooden shafts into the nearby shrubbery in frustration.

"Here," Marceline moved herself closer to the bundle and spawned a small flame in the palms of her hands. Touching the flame to the tinder, the pile of miniature lumber and bark ignited almost instantly. Finn stared down at the blazing fire, then glanced up to Marcleline, a smug, toothy smirk plastered across her face.

"You cheated!" he yelped, pointing accusingly at the girl who succeeded so easilly where he so miserably failed.

"Finn, don't be jelly of my totally sweet vampire powers." Marceline replied, her expression never faltering.

"I'm not jelly! Maybe jam, but not jelly. Just admit you cheated! Vampire powers is cheating fo' sure." he insisted.

"Nope." The vampire playfully let her forked tongue slide out from between her fangs, mocking the disgruntled human.

"Whatever..."

"Hey, you guys made the fire! Rad!" Jake exclaimed as he padded his way over to the two from his now fully assembled tent.

"Yeah, we totally did it! 100% group effort here." Marceline chimed almost sarcastically. "So who wants to roast marshmallows?"

"... Then the puppy looked under his bed, and saw two glowing green eyes! The pup was so scared, it almost wee wee'd!" Finn stood over his three friends, the crackling fire below lighting his features in distorted illumination. He raised both hands above his head, digits stretched and curled as claws in the most menacing display the boy could muster. "The nebelung under the bed reached out to the scared little puppy and..." Finn paused, turning to Jake who'd heard the story right along with Finn in their youth and knew what came next. "TICKLED THE PUPPY!" Finn pounced on his brother and poked his wriggling fingers into the dog's soft flanks. Jake snorted and snickered at the human's tickle attack as the two women watched on. Lady found the sight to be quite amusing, adorable even. Marceline just sucked the red from a can of kidney beans in stark indifference.

"If you two are done with your brotherly gropefest yet, maybe I could tell a real ghost story?" Marceline cut their fun short and assumed her position over the campfire as current story teller as the brothers returned to their seats. "This isn't the first time I've been in these parts of the woods. I came through here some years back, how long ago exactly is a little fuzzy. But I wasn't alone. No, I had friends with me, just like I do now, and just like now, there was a dog among my group.

"We were just hiking through, you see, we had no intentions of staying. No, that would be foolish! We knew better, we'd heard the stories of what happens around here after dark. Weird stuff... Spooky happenings, y'know? But the dog, he got lost-"

"Oh no! Not the dog! The dog always dies first!" Jake interrupted with his sudden fearful outburst.

"Well anyway..." Marceline shot him a scornful look, and continued. "The dog must have started straggling, because when we stopped to rest, he was nowhere to be found. Of course we looked for him, we stayed together as a group, we weren't about to split up so we'd all be lost in 'The Forsaken Forest'. But no matter where we searched, there was no sign of the poor lost doggy. It wasn't 'til well after dark when we found him. He was huddled in a bush maybe twenty or so yards from where he was last seen, shaking uncontrollably with his face in his hands.

"He wouldn't show us his face. He just kept on mumbling some nonsense about 'whispering trees' and 'eyeball rockets'. When we finally pried the dog's hands from his face, he had no eyes! Just two gaping sockets where his looking globes used to be! Once we got him to calm down, he told us the whispering trees of the forsaken forest used some hoodoo to turn his eyeballs into jet packs and they flew right off of his face. Wait..." Marceline stiffened and tilted her head to one side as if intently listening to some faint noise off in the distance. "Did you guys hear that?"

"Hear what?" Jake squeaked, cowering into his girfriend's embrace. Cuddling with Lady Rainicorn made him feel secure, but it wasn't enough to make him totally forget he was in the alleged 'Foresaken Forest'.

"It sounds like..." she leaned in toward Jake, and with a completely straight face, with a hint of what might pass for something distraught in her tone, answered "Whispering."

That's all Jake needed to hear. He gave his friends a surprise performance of his scream song and tore off to his tent as fast as his four legs would carry him, separating himself from the 'evil' trees outside with a thin layer of nylon. No way in the flippin' Night-o-Sphere was he letting some piney mischief makers steal his precious eyes. Lady chuckled and followed after him, knowing Jake wouldn't be able to sleep alone tonight after that fright.

Finn and Marceline shared a laugh at Jake's expense. When their howling merriment subsided, they realized they were alone once more. Finn fed a few more branches from their dwindling supply into the blaze, stoking the flames.

"So, have you really been out in these woods before?" The boy asked, now feeling uneasy not knowing if the vampire's story was true or not. Finn'd witnessed stranger things, so believing tall tales came easily to him.

"Yeah, I have. But not how you're thinking I did, that story was bogus." Finn was relieved. "Naw, my old man took me camping somewhere around here when I was younger, before that whole 'fry incident' happened. It's one of the more pleasant memories I have from my upbringing." Marceline sighed and watched the flames consume their fresh meal through hazy, half lidded eyes. The age-old young woman contently recalled the time she and her father shared out in this forest so many years ago.

"Is that why you like camping?" Finn pulled her out of her train of thought. "Becuase your dad brought you?"

"Yeah, probably." she admitted. "It's just nice to chill out in the wild, with some friends or family or whatever. It's kind of peaceful. So how 'bout you, Finn? Have you ever been camping?"

"Well, once pop took me, Jake and Jermaine out for a weekend of fishing. Y'know, a father and his boys." Finn still missed his parents, they were such kind old folk. No one else would look twice at the human freak, but they raised him as their own. "But it was actually just the back yard, there was a pond there too, and we were told we couldn't go inside the house 'til the weekend was over. Dad made us some sort of little shelter out of some dead trees and ferns and all we ate was the fish we caught, but Dad made sure to stock the pond with lots of fish beforehand, so we had plenty. It was a pretty good time, even if it wasn't the wilderness like this."

"It's not where you're at, Finn, all that matters is who you're with." Marceline asserted, and felt a certain truth to her words resonate. In her experience, this was an immutable fact, in good company, fond memories could be made anywhere. Finn always seemed like good company, and he'd given the vampire an abundance of fresh memories she hoped would not fade any time soon.

"Yeah," Finn nodded gingerly. "that's deep." The human stretched his arms wide and yawned in deeply. It was getting late, and an adolecsent boy needs his sleep. "I'm gonna hit the sack."

Finn took a few paces away from the campfire and found one of the various packs he'd brought with him on this excursion at the base of a large tree. Opening the zipper, he reached inside and withdrew a very large, very new looking gortex sleeping bag and unrolled the bundle of fluff and warmth, laying it across the ground. The tuckered hero wasted no time before hopping into the over sized, silky feeling cocoon, but before he could drift of to the land of Sweet dreams, he was disturbed by a familiar voice.

"Where am I supposed to sleep?" demanded the very abandoned feeling vampire queen.

"You're nocturnal." Finn retorted bluntly before rolling over to face away from the dying fire.

"But I've been up all day!" she protested. "My sleep schedule is wack, and it's pretty much entirely your fault."

"Hey, it's your own choice to pester us during the day. You made your bed, now you gotta sleep in it. Hehe." Finn laughed at the irony of that figure of speech used in this particular instance and noted that he's not exactly one to be clever with irony, and it was mostly just coincidence, but an awesome coincidence at that. "Can't you just like, sleep hangin' from a tree or somethin'? Bats do that all the time."

"No! For one, that's actually an insulting generalization, and two, I don't think I can maintain myself in bat form while I'm sleeping." Marceline explained. It sounded logical enough of a reason to rule out sleeping in trees, and there was no way she was about to sleep atop the cold dirt. "Scootch over, I'm getting in with you." she ordered.

"No way! Why didn't you bring your own sleeping junk?" Finn countered.

"Because I didn't think of it and vampires were never bestowed with the gift of foresight, now make room!"

"You can't!" Finn barked.

"Why can't I?" she challenged.

"Because... You're a girl..." Finn's face brightened with reddish hugh.

"Are you saying you'd rather sleep with a boy?" Marceline asked slyly, raising an eyebrow in playful inquiry.

"Well no... But..." Finn sputtered, "This isn't fair!"

"Life ain't fair, get used to it," the dead girl shot back while making her way to Finn and his comfy looking sleeping bag that he was being oh so greedy trying to keep all to himself. Finn hesitated, but after seeing Marceline was dead set on gettin' all up in his bag, he reluctantly relented his opposition and allowed her entry, slipping in beside him.

Marceline noticed how spacious it was inside, still comfortable enough even with the both of them fully encased up to their necks in the puffy fabric, and she almost couldn't help but to be suspicious that Finn's end game was to share this sleeping bag with someone all along. Silly human, he'd only have to ask, no need for reverse psychology and mind games. But then she realized this was Finn she was thinking about and how his intentions never run any deeper than face value. Marceline couldn't see Finn, the genuine goober he is, devise some elaborate plan entailing sleeping bags and psychological warfare all to result in getting her to sleep with him, speaking only in the most literal sense of the term.

Then Marceline realized something else. She was dreadfully uncomfortably laying in this position. "Finn. I need a pillow." she informed.

Disturbed once more from the verge of slumber, Finn exhaled audibly and cracked his sore and crusty eyes. Scanning about the surrounding darkness for something that might sate the relentless vampire's pestering, Finn peered a fairly large, stout stone not far from where they lay. Removing his arms from the confines of the sleeping bag he was now being forced to share, he grabbed hold of the rock and placed it by Marceline's head with a dull thud. "Use that." he instructed coarsely before returning to his previous position and trying once more to sleep.

Marceline stared at the rock in awe for a long moment before deciding it was a horrible candidate for a pillow. No, she'd need something softer, with some give. Something... Squishy. And per chance, it just so happened that there was something exceedingly squishy laying right beside her. So with no further thought or reasoning, Marceline curled herself around Finn and layed her head on the softest point she could find between his shoulder and chest.

"What the flip are you doing?" The hero questioned when feeling his friend's arms snake around his body.

"Shut up." she hissed, momentarily lifting her head from his chest to make eye contact. "You're lumpin' comfortable, so deal with it. Now lay there and be quiet like a good pillow." And with that, she nuzzled back into the fleshy swells of Finn's torso.

As awkward as this situation was, Finn couldn't deny that it was maybe even a little pleasant. But also mostly uncomfortable, for him at least. So to right this, Finn hauled his arm out from beneath the cuddly vampire and repositioned it around Marceline, so now they were in some ungraceful, and clearly completely platonic embrace. Nope, nothing going on here, just a couple o' bros in a sleeping bag is all. Snuggling? Naw, none of that going on here, bro.

Feeling Finn's arm wrap around her back and rest somewhere near her waist, reciprocating her cuddle, Marceline grinned into the adolescent adventurer's chest. "I know you're enjoying this, probably more than you're letting yourself believe, but don't expect it to happen often." She took a moment to glance back up to meet Finn's embarrassed gaze. "You just so happened to have been the most comfortable place for me to spend the night." Reaching up to play with the ears of Finn's hat, she added "Y'know, you're no Hambo, but you're quite the snuggly little bear."

Finn's face flushed skarlet, or maybe it never stopped being that color, he couldn't tell. But either way, he definitely felt significantly warmer around the collar after that remark. He wasn't too sure he liked being Marceline's 'snuggly bear', he imagined it might be something reminiscent of what Lady Rainicorn would call Jake, if she spoke english. And Finn for sure didn't think he was ready to have with Marceline what Jake had with Lady. But here they were, closer to any other girl than he'd ever been, unburnt by her touch and unscalded by any callous words that carelessly fell from her mouth.

Finn gave some thought to this and realized it wouldn't be so bad to be more than simply friends with Marceline. She was probably the greatest gal he knew, and almost certainly the least complicated, even if that's not saying all too much. But he could easily envision their relationship taking a turn for the romantic. By the time he'd worked up the courage to profess that thought to her, a rather obnoxious snore seized his attention. Finn snapped his eyes down in his bed buddy's direction to find she'd already fallen fast asleep. So, the adventurer, pushing all silly thoughts of relationships aside, closed his eyes for what seemed like the umpteenth time that evening and was finally allowed rest.

It wasn't the muted sunlight shining through the leaves overhead, ticking at his eyelids, that woke Finn that morning, nor was it the stirring of the girl still in his arms. It was the earpiercing shriek of utter shock and surprise let loose from his older brother's agape maw. Finn's eyes shot open, sitting up quickly and turning his attention from Jake to Marceline, taking in the situation and how it might look to anyone outside of the sleeping bag.

"This probably isn't what it looks like!" Finn piped up defensively almost without thinking. His brain kicked in and told him that whenever someone says those particular words, it's almost always exactly what it looks like.

"Oh my grawd, dude! You guys didn't... Did you?" Jake gasped, flabbergasted. "Just tell me you kept it PG13, please."

"Dude, what the hey! We're both fully clothed, okay!" Finn stepped out of his sleeping bag to prove he was, in fact, not in the nude. "She just forgot to bring any camping gear, so I shared. Alright?"

"Yeah, alright... I guess I might have been overreacting a bit..." Jake mumbled ashamedly, averting his gaze from his two friends he just so blatently accused of indecency.

"A bit?" Finn chuckled. "It's a'ight man, let's just forget about it." Finn's stomach let out a low growl. "So what's for breakfast, homie?"

Jake felt a mite cheerier now that they'd moved on past that terrible misunderstanding. What an awful, horrible revelation to wake up to first thing in the morning. "Canned food, yo. It's all we got since we pollished off the marshmallows last night."

"Sounds good, man." Finn responded with a nod. He looked back to his vampire friend who was still wrapped in his sleeping bag. She was in a sitting position, watching the two brothers, holding the poofy top of the bag up to under her chin with strangely bare arms. "C'mon Marcie, stop being a lazy butt. It's time to get up." The human coaxed.

"Remember that thing you said about how we're both fully clothed?" she asked with a bashful smile. "If we've learned anything this morning, it's that you guys are great at jumping to conclusions." She motioned with her eyes, directing Finn and Jake's attention toward a pile of her discarded flannel shirt and ripped jeans.

"What the flip, Marceline!" Finn cried out, bordering on the hysterical.

"What, I got hot! Besides, it's not like I'm completely naked. Glob Finn, don't be such a perv!" Marceline huffed indignantly, floated up from the ground sleeping bag and all, snatched the shirt and pair of jeans from where they lay and was gone into the dense forest, presumably to get dressed.

"What in the flip just happened, Jake?" Finn asked flatly as he continued to stare dumbfoundedly out into the woods where he last saw the lunatic who wore his sleeping bag like a toga.

"Sounds like you're having girl troubles, bro." Jake answered, gingerly giving the confused human an empathetic pat on the back.

[tomboyneedshercoffee]

Who’s in Charge Pt2 || Maze Runner X Reader

Summary: Y/N does her best to make Teresa feel welcome in a glade full of boys, but one particular greenie ruins her plans and makes her question her insanity. 

Word Count: 2.4k

Author’s note: This is somewhat a continuation off of Who’s in charge and If i continue this mini series, I really want to explore the idea of being a girl in a leadership role. Not only that but the somewhat glamorization of how awesome it would be to be the only girl in a glade cause unless they all look like Minho, that would be TERRIFYING. I love attention but goddamn Y/N in any fanfic fandom is an attention WHORE! 

Warning: LOTS OF CUSSING, incel type shit ew, blood and wounds  

Part one || Part two 

A lot has changed in the glade in the past couple of months and as the first in command, it didn’t make your job any easier. After the greenie that disrespected you, the glade got two more people, a boy named Thomas and to your surprise, another girl. Her name was Teresa and although the two of you weren’t close, it was nice to have someone you felt like you could automatically trust.

The greenie you didn’t like very much was named Theodore and while everyone else called him Teddy, you always just called him greenie because he still acted like an immature shank. You haven’t had any interactions with him since but word from the other guys was that he would not stop gawking at Teresa.

“ Has anyone seen Teddy? Fry said he hasn’t been back since lunch,” Newt asked as you continued to write down the medical inventory to help out Jeff.

“ Yeah I saw him go down to the huts about 10 minutes ago. He looked like he was in a hurry,” Jeff said as he pointed over towards the window with his pencil.

This wasn’t the first time Teddy had flaked on his duties but after your altercation with him, Newt was usually the one to reprimand him.

You rolled your eyes as you looked down at your clipboard,” I’ll go find him. I have to stop by Teresa’s room anyway since she’s gonna help me rebuild the fence with John and Gavin.”

Newt leaned against the doorway and picked up a small bandage to wrap his finger with,” How’s she liking the glade so far?”

“ I mean, as much as she can like it. I think she’s after Thomas yeah?” You said, raising your eyebrows at him, as you walked out the door with Newt following close behind,” I swear those lovebirds are hiding something. Something tells me that it isn’t all just love at first sight.”

“ Well you’re never wrong so I’ll keep an eye out,” Newt laughed softly as the two of you parted ways.

You continued to walk across the Glade at a normal pace, not so much enjoying the glade itself but the quietness of today. You knew Minho and Thomas were gonna be back any minute and those two were always responsible for the rambunctious crowd of boys every night so you savored the trip.

Given that Teresa was a bit nervous with all of the boys around, you gave up your hut so that way she would have some privacy. Although Teresa seemed to be really familiar with Thomas, you knew that sleeping outside surrounded by boys wasn’t the safest feeling. You did miss how your hut was tucked a bit away from everyone else and that the big tree near your window gave you cool shade during the harsh sun. But it was just for the time being, whenever that was.

You knocked on the door and heard Teresa’s voice on the other side,” One second! I’m changing!”

You gave a quick response and waited outside her door, tapping your fingers against your clipboard in an unknown beat. Once you stopped tapping, you heard something rustle in the leaves on the other side of the hut that was covered by a small part of the forest. You scrunched your eyebrows together as you walked over, thinking that maybe it was just another rabbit.

When you turned the corner, you saw Teddy watching through the corner of Teresa’s window. You looked through the window to find Teresa already stripping off her top which made Teddy hold his breath.

Without thinking, you stomped over and grabbed the back of Teddy’s shirt before dragging him away from the window. I knew I should’ve listened to Alby to make those stupid ugly curtains. Teddy let out a loud yelp as you dragged him farther away and closer to the center of the glade where some of the boys were building another shelter.

“ You stupid fucking pervert!” You shouted as you practically launched him onto the dirt,” you’re disgusting! After everything, this place has done for you and you think you can spy on women like some kind of ...stalker!”

You were well past mad, you had never felt anything like this before. Your whole body felt like it was building up with pure steam, almost ready to explode like hot dynamite. You were nothing short but disgusted, out of your whole time living in the glade, none of the boys had ever done something so terrible.

“ R-Relax! I wasn’t even doing anything wrong-”

You didn’t know what came over you, maybe it was because you hadn’t slept all day or because you hadn’t gotten mad in so long so you were practically itching to get into a fight.  You felt your legs pump more blood than ever and in an instant, you pounced on him and started slamming your fists into his face without mercy.

You felt like a well-oiled machine, every time you smashed your fist against his body, you felt your other arm recoil and do the same thing over and over again. You couldn’t even pay attention to anything that was happening around you, all you could do was throw punches. With every punch, you still managed to yell through your gritted teeth,” Ungrateful! Little! Pig!”

Even with his limp, Newt was the fastest to make it over to where you were and tried to rip you away from Teddy, yelling at you to stop. Gally, who was nearby building the shelter, practically picked you up off of Teddy but you still struggled against him.

“ Y/N! You need to calm down-”

“ I am tired of people telling me that to calm down! I am calm!” You shouted as you breathed heavy against Gally, who was using all of his strength to hold you back,” he’s a disgusting pig!”

“ What the hell is going on?” you craned your neck to see Thomas and Minho jogging over to where everyone seemed to circle. You laughed out loud, knowing that once Minho found out what Teddy had done, he would be toast.

Gally let you go and dropped you to the floor not so gently,” There’s been a slight problem. Y/N and Teddy-”

�� Slight problem?” You exclaimed as Minho came to your side, helping you up all while looking at your bloody and bruised knuckles,” Teddy was watching Teresa through her window while she was changing. That isn’t a slight problem Gally! How would you like it if he peeked through your window!”

While some boys laughed at your comment, Minho and Thomas’s head snapped towards Teddy, who was still lying on the ground but sat up on his elbows. His nose was bleeding and by the looks of it, you were sure you gave him two black eyes.

“ She’s lying! She just started attacking me out of nowhere cause she’s fucking crazy!” Teddy spat out blood as you tried to lunge at him again but Thomas pulled you back.

“ What did you just say?” Minho said through gritted teeth as he started walking towards Teddy but Newt and Gally both stepped in between Minho,” say that again, I dare you.”

“ Everyone just stop!” Newt snapped as he turned to look up at Minho,” take Y/N somewhere to cool off while Thomas and I will take Teddy to Clint. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Minho nodded all while keeping his eyes locked on Teddy’s bloody face. Minho was stubborn and as much as he wanted to bash Teddy’s head in, he knew when it was right to follow the chain of command. You shook Thomas’s grip off of your shoulders as your eyes caught Teresa’s, her face flushed in embarrassment.

Before you could muster out a word, Teresa took off back towards your hut, pushing past a group of gladers who were crowding around. You took one sweeping glare towards all the loitering glader’s which made them all spread out back to their posts.

“ Let me patch you up back real quick. You look badass but your knuckles look gross,” Minho hesitated as he attempted to ease the tension in the air and his own blood pressure.

You looked between Minho and where you last saw Teresa, wondering where she could be. You couldn’t imagine how terrified she must have been, especially since she probably saw you beat the hell out of Teddy like there was no tomorrow.

“ Just give me a few minutes, I’m going to go find Teresa,” You said as you rubbed your fingers over your battered fists,” I think she just needs someone to talk to after all of that.”

You and Minho said your goodbyes and before you knew it, you found Teresa on the edge of the deadheads picking at the grass laid before her. You awkwardly sat down next to her and from the looks of it, she had just finished crying.

“ I want to say sorry for what you might have seen. The last thing I wanted to do was scare you or to make you think I’m such a violent person,” You apologized as you watched her expression carefully,” but I’m even more sorry that your privacy was invaded on. I promise you, I will do everything in my power to fix this.”

Instead of giving a sad look, Teresa smiled and let out a dry laugh,” No offense, but there isn’t anything you can do to fix this. It’s literally in their DNA to be so stupid.”

You were completely taken aback. Yes, nothing could ever take back what happened to Teresa but she couldn’t be talking about all of the guys in the glade, could she?

“ I don’t think that’s true and neither do you. Teddy is a sexist pervert for sure but plenty of the glader’s are nice guys. One bad seed doesn’t make the whole tree go rotten,” You said thoughtfully, not wanting to undermine Teresa’s experience.

Teresa turned to you and thought for a moment,” So when you first came up in the box, you weren’t terrified of being the only girl?”  

“ Well, I was just terrified because I was alone for the longest time until Newt came up,” You admitted but then you really tried to give your honest opinion,” but yeah, I guess I felt different when more boys would get sent up. It’s not that I was scared at first but I just didn’t know what to expect with all those...hormones.”

You realized that you had never said that out loud before; revealing your feelings for being the only girl in the glade before Teresa and once you actually said it, you felt something wash over you. You weren’t sure if it was sadness or guilt or shame, but you didn’t feel good about your emotions right then and there.

Teresa noticed this too and didn’t say anything else, allowing you to speak more.

You cleared your throat, not even thinking of the right words to say because all you wanted to do was spill everything you had bottled up for years,” The more boys the box sent up, the more stares I would get, even if I was just bending over to pick something up. It felt gross knowing that they were eyeing me up and down like I was just some piece of meat but all of a sudden when it came to me being in a leadership position, they all acted as if I suddenly didn’t matter.”

“I completely understand how you feel. It’s like a cruel joke; they want you around to help engage their sexual fantasies but once you make an executive decision, you’re not fun to be around,” Teresa said, thinking about her past memories of being one of the few female researchers at WCKD,” are they still like that with you now?”

“ I hardly catch any eyes thanks to Minho being as protective as he is but I wonder if he’s just doing that out of the kindness of his heart or because he is trying to get in my pants,” you laughed honestly, knowing that in your heart he was genuinely a sweet guy,” but I don’t know. I can tell sometimes they don’t take me seriously. Remember that last meeting we had and when I gave my proposal, no one really cared but when Newt said it two minutes later, everyone thought he was a genius. I don’t think they mean to do it but it still hurts.”

That was something you were always insecure about; not being taken seriously. You were reminded of that every month when a new glader would show up and they assumed you weren’t the first in command. How was it that you all had no past memories yet in the glade, they already had some form of prejudice against you? You didn’t understand that in a world filled with hardly any societal norms that you were still treated unfairly.

“ But I love everyone here with the exception of a few. At the end of the day, we’re pretty much family. As much as Minho annoys me or how much Newt pesters me, they’re the greatest friends in the world,” You said as you thought back to all of the times they had your back,” but shuck I wish I had a day of peace without the boys tearing down the glade. I just want to get out of this goddamn place already.”

Teresa nodded sympathetically, but knowing that she was one of the reasons you were here trapped, she said nothing.

After a moment of silence, Teresa wanted to clear her head of WCKD’s old thoughts,” What are you going to do about Teddy?”

After this whole discussion, you had completely forgotten why you had come over in the first place.

“ Honestly, I don’t know yet. We’ll keep him in the slammer until we figure something out. Whatever it is though, I know it won’t be enough for how you were violated. I really am sorry that happened to you Teresa, is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” You asked as Teresa smiled and gave your hand a small squeeze.

“ I’m just glad I have someone to talk to.”

You nodded as you sat there, not being able to hold in your smile.

Me too.

[letitrainathousandflames]

Hiya! I’ve seen you talking about ao3 a lot and up until recently I agreed with many of the posts you’ve been reblogging, but I think you have a little bit of a misinterpretation about why people r presently pissed off at ao3?

Sure, many people (perhaps even most) are angry for the usual puritanical reasons that you’ve been discussing, and I agree that for the most part fiction is fiction and idc what anyone does so long as I can filter it all out. You do you and all that.

But the most recent swell of criticism is bc ao3 has refused to take down rpf (real person fic) smut of minors—not fictional characters, real life children who happen to be particularly popular right now. The specific fic that spawned recent outrage is about a minecraft YouTuber/Twitch streamer who’s 16 years old, but obviously there’s many more which include his friends and other similar instances of rpf involving children.

I don’t think it’s a slippery slope to set the boundary at “don’t write about actual living children fucking” and to pretend as if this criticism of ao3 is equivalent those who want to wipe out all taboo topics or troubling fics involving fictional characters is just absurd. These are real people, real children, who are directly affected by people sexualizing them, especially if it’s left unchecked and allowed to happen more and more.

I hope you can understand where I’m coming from. Again, if this were just the same fandom bullshit over again, I’d fully agree with your opinion; I’m telling you this in the hopes of informing you more about the situation.

Ohh I didn’t know about this particular bit. First of all, let me just make it clear - that’s the most disgusting shit I’ve ever read - and I’m a die-hard “let people ship what they want” person. This sheds a new light on the whole thing.

Personally, i never liked the concept of real person fic. I see a lot of fics about bands like Rammstein where the members hook up and whatnot just as characters in fic do and not only it is not my cup of tea, it actually squicks me.

I wasn’t part of the Dan and Phil fandom generation but i do remember hearing about them being super uncomfortable with people shipping them, as I would be if I were a vlogging with my friend and people suddenly started writing stories about us falling in love/kissing/having sex ect etc.

The thing is, I don’t know if messing with the tags is even an effective form of protest - Ao3 already had a nearly finished, now released new skin that hides excessive tags. Anyway, that’s not the point.

It’s a complex situation. Older fandom people remember and dread events like the strikethrough - tons of stories lost forever because the “think of the children” crowd didn’t want anyone reading or writing smut fics about anne rice’s vampires or something, mainly driven by homophobia.

The Ao3 was built to be a space safe from censorship, and I, as an author of themes such as torture, abuse, gore, etc, am glad that my work won’t be suddenly pulled out thanks to their team of lawyers and their flexible terms of use. I believe that their issue with censoring these works is falling into a slippery slope of “ok so if you blocked rpf now you have to ban other ‘wrong’ content such as noncon/dubcon, abusive relationships, etc etc.” and then suddenly you can’t write anakin/padmé content anymore no matter how OOC bc he choked her to death in canon.

I have no answers for this particular conundrum. Like, me, personally, I would ban rpf. It’s in poor taste and there are actual living, breathing people whose lives could be affected by that. If I found a fic where someone had written my bff and I having raunchy, explicit sex, I would feel awkward being around them.

The whole ship-and-let-ship policy means - at least to me - “let people write what they want, these fictional characters are fictional and therefore they don’t care” and that argument just doesn’t hold up when it comes to rpf.

TL;DR (bullet points for easier reading):

Real Person Fiction is objectively harmful, character fanfic isn’t.

Yes, I get that being traumatized makes one want to write dark shit to process their pain. Been there, done - and still do - that. BUT if I write the billionth fic of Bucky Barnes getting tortured/maimed/raped there isn’t a real life Bucky who’s gonna read it and be grossed out of his mind or possibly traumatized. Thats the difference between fic and rpf

I don’t think fucking with the tags is an effective form of protest. No, I don’t know what is, but i have a few thoughts:

Maybe not giving reads, kudos or comments to this kind of fic is a start. Reporting these fics upon finding them outside of Ao3 (i.e: on twitter), too.

Report any and all attempts to send these fics to the kids themselves, they shouldn’t have to see/deal with this crap (seriously, have y’all learned nothing from the whole avengers mess, where ppl would send graphic porn art to the actors??), don’t do that shit! Aside from being abusive and gross, that’s a whole ass fucking CRIME. These are kids!!!

I guess it’s more or less this. I hope this gets sorted out soon. As I say, I would rather if Ao3 just removed the rpf option of their website. After all fanFICTION is supposed to be written about... well, fiction. Not real people, much less children. Yikes.

[coinofstone]

Combining 4x12 and 4x13 The Sword in the Stone pts 1 and 2 into one post, no commentary tracks on either episode, unfortunately.

4x12 The Sword in the Stone pt 1

I really don't mean to question any of this homoerotic comedy gold, but why has Arthur got his chainmail on before his pants? Surely chainmail is a post-trouser application?

"No one likes to be called fat, Merlin"

Arthur sitting there moping over Gwen is the biggest self own. "I look for her in the room, and she's not there. Then I remember why." Yea cuz you threw her out you DUMBASS. Sick of TV trying to make me feel sympathy for dudes who played themselves.

Can you hear the music when you see this

Such a great shot. AND a great piece of music too.

Dear reader, you're probably expecting me to make a shit ton of hypnosis jokes, and you know, you're not wrong, but first - there is something pressing that needs to be addressed:

Behold, the most awkward handshake of all time. Eoin is literally going for his bicep instead of his forearm, what even is that?!? And poor Percival, he's got one injured dumbass hanging off him on one arm, and another dumbass trying to shake his other hand like he's never seen an arm before. It looks like he's reaching up into his armpit because of the angle 😂😂 I'm cackling watching this gif loop.

Same energy:

(Gif credit not found)

THIS is why Elyan/Percival is the superior side ship:

Look at that sweet sweet chemistry. I almost always see Percival paired with Leon or Gwaine in fic and I just... how on earth can you pass this up? These two are perfect together. That LOOK Elyan gives him and Percival's giddy face as he looks over at Merlin and Arthur 😍😍😍 it looks better in the video than I can reproduce in gif

Christ, he DOES play the bimbofication well, doesn't he? "Whatever you say I'm entirely in your hands." I feel like at the time that was the line that spawned a million fanfics.

Morgana that is a magic snake, not a pen

Agravaine is so fuckin creepy. I mean I'm glad it took this long for him to go full blown creepazoid but we ALL saw it coming. Even tho he's NOT her uncle it's still gross, he's twice her age and disgusting.

How many brothers did Ygraine have anyway? Tristan I guess we'll never know but why would Agravaine really want his sister's SON dead? Fuckin royals.

Is Arthur listening for woodworm?

Why is Tristan twice Isolde's age

I miss Simpleton Arthur, but at least King Arthur looks good fighting in those tight capris

Arthur's all moody about Agravaine betraying him and Merlin is so supportive. If I were Merlin I would've been dropping "I told you so's" left and right.

What I don't get, is if Merlin knew Gwen has been in Ealdor, why has he never told Arthur this?

Gotta figure the people of Ealdor are not gonna be too happy about their village coming under attack cuz King Arthur is hiding out there. He's not even their king 😂

4x13 The Sword in the Stone part two

It's weird to have what feels like a ending moment ten minutes in

Tristan is such a dick

Won't eating moldy bread just make Gaius sicker

Hey um... how did Arthur get his clothes back? Did he keep a spare set in Ealdor? You know, for all those times he visits Hunith with Merlin? What's that you say, I'm getting fanon confused with canon again? Am I though?

Actual scene from when Merlin was telling Arthur the Bruta coda:

Omgggg the way he looks at Merlin's mouthhhhhhhhh before he goes to try and pull the sword from the stone

This is probably the second most iconic scene in the series, after the round table scene

and yes, I realize I'm going to hell for this but I can't be the only pervert watching this and thinking about how incredibly ... phallic it is.

There's a whole other level of subtext to this. Not just the phallic imagery but Merlin literally leading a doubtful Arthur to this ... performance space in front of a crowd, where Merlin is in full control of what's about to happen - and he guides Arthur through the motions, encouraging and confidence boosting, until Arthur becomes the truest version of his self. I say Merlin is in control but that's not even entirely accurate, he's only in control of releasing the sword from the stone, but that in and of itself is of no consequence; the power in this scene lies with Arthur, in his faith in himself - which is what Merlin is really helping him reclaim; the sword is just metaphor.

But am I supposed to believe that this subtext isn't intentional? Especially immediately after Merlin had Arthur in a trance-like state where he became more pliant and willing to be led?

My god if I were involved in this fandom when this was airing this episode would've made me lose my MIND.

Daaaamn Leon coming on a bit strong there but okay.

Nice to know that Morgana Pendragon, last priestess of the Old Religion, powerful Socereress and current ruler of Camelot, freezes and whimpers in terror at the first glimpse of an unexpected octogenarian in her castle.

I never watched any cast interviews beyond the SDCC panel that was in the S3 extras but I really want to know where that little laugh Old Man Merlin does came from. That little 'heh' is just the greatest thing ever, I'm dying to know if he based that on anyone or anything in particular.

Hey remember in S2 when Morgana got a whole bunch of hairbrushes for her birthday? Bet she wishes she knew where those had got to now.

This brief moment between Gwen and Arthur is actually perfect. Arthur has for so long gone been brooding about how he loves her but he's angry, even though we, the audience, know he has no business blaming her, none of the fucking characters do, including Gwen. But Gwen has also been through a lot, and he's given her zero benefit of doubt the whole time. So watching her march up to him and angrily tell him that she still loves him, then walking away without letting him speak - him, the king, her, leaving the 'tho God knows why since you behave like such an ass' unsaid at the end. It's really a beautiful, perfect moment.

Arthur: what happened to you, Morgana?

Morgana:

We love a mirror corridor fight scene

Percival and Elyan tho 😍😍

"Hold me"

No parallels there, nope, not at all.

Arthur: will you marry me?

The castle staff: christ, not again

Merlin's got himself a new coat for the occasion and everything!

Why is it that Merlin never checked on Aithusa? Never even asked Kilgharrah about her? You'd think he would've felt some kind of obligation, as the last Dragonlord, towards her. Yes I'm going with 'her' don't @ me it's hc.

As per usual, if there's anything worth commenting on in the special features for S4 I will create a separate post.

[alixanonymous]

How A Demon Commissions An Angel ~ A Daminette FanFic ~ Chapter 5: An Exchange Of Information

From: DoWhatISay@email.com

To: Marinette.D.C.@email.com

Date: November 5, 2021 5:30 P.M.

Subject: RE: The Plan

Dear Marinette,

(Am I assuming too much by addressing you by your first name if you’ve already addressed me by mine? If so, that would be a little hypocritical, wouldn’t you agree?)

Just as a general rule, I probably won’t get any references you make to any kind of children’s show (I had to look up Arthur after your first email). Like I mentioned before, I lived with my mother for the first part of my life and the idea of her ever even considering letting me watch cartoons is laughable. I did look up what you were talking about however and it seems like you were describing when shows try to portray a person’s conscience by putting an angel and a devil on either of their shoulders. In that case, I would agree with your assessment: between the two of us, I would definitely not be the angel in this case. 

I’m grateful for that fact too as it seems that your kindness has only helped you to be so easily taken advantage of by those closest to you. You asked me for my thoughts on your situation so I trust that you won’t hold anything I say against me (again) on account that the whole point of this is that my opinion will obviously contrast with yours. 

Here’s how I see it: Your friend (although I hope you will choose not to call him that any longer) is simply not in a position to offer you friendship and so in any case he cannot be angry at you for not accepting whatever he can give. What are you, a dog? What can he expect, that you will come when he can call but accept being ignored the other half of the time? Surely you have more self respect than that if your first email to me meant anything. 

As for feeling guilty, he chose to put his needs above yours, if he blames you for doing the same, then he is a hypocrite. He made his choice and he will have to face the consequences for it; in no way is any of that your fault. 

After reading your last email, I must admit that it’s relief to see that you at least have some idea of how this will work because saying that all this is new to me would be a gross understatement. As for the aforementioned incident that started this whole ordeal, let’s just say my family’s lecturing on the subject more than sufficed. If I come across any situations that I could use another opinion on, I will let you know. I confess that writing to you is far more preferable than being chided by any of my idiot brothers.

On the subject of idiot brothers, for the commission, the sweaters would be for Grayson and Drake and the jacket for Todd. I trust your judgement when it comes to the designs and will be ready to give my disapproval should anything on the sketches seem off-putting. I look forward to seeing what you come up with. As for the NDA, I’m afraid you’re right in that I cannot oblige. I trust you understand. 

Sincerely,

Damian W.

Postscript: Considering what happened the first time I ended an email 

to you with two initials, can you really blame me for not taking any chances, especially when you take into account my “snobbish” self, your word not mine, and the fact that my self-esteem is still suffering from your first email. I mean if you really want something to feel guilty about… 

From:Marinette.D.C.@email.com

To:DoWhatISay@email.com

Date:November 6, 2021  1:30 A.M.

Subject: That’s Not How This Works

Dear Damian,

I’m afraid that simply saying you “trust my judgement when it comes to the designs” is not going to do it. If I tried to design anything based on the information you gave me, all I would have to go on is that you want two sweaters and a jacket. Do you have any idea how many types of sweaters and jackets there are?

On top of that, didn’t your father say these gifts have to be sentimental? If you really want the pieces to be meaningful I’m going to need a lot more information on your brothers. Tell me about them. What kind of relationships do you have with them? How would you describe each of their aesthetics? Imagine what you think would be their ideal sweater or jacket and then describe it to me, the more details, the better okay?

As for what you said about my uh maybe-maybe not a friend, I won’t deny your thoughts were somewhat valid if not a little harsh. I just need some time to think it over. I guess, beyond the guilt, I’m having a little trouble moving on. I mean besides the fact that he’s practically my only friend left in the class, he was also the first boy I ever really liked. Once upon a time, I thought I was in love with him even… It all seems so silly now. I’m just struggling with the fact that so many people in my life aren’t who I thought they were. Anyway, I don’t need your opinion on any of that last stuff, okay? I think the rest is up to me and like I said, I need some time to figure this out.

Thanks for listening, Damian. You do have a way of putting things into perspective. Now please, give me a better understanding of what I need to make your brothers so we can get this show on the road. Love,

Marinette (Which you can call me!)

P.S. I like how you lectured me on how being kind allows people to take advantage of me and then proceeded to try and guilt trip me into ignoring your past misdeeds. Fyi, Mr.Postscript née Blackmailer? It didn’t work!

From: DoWhatISay@email.com

To: Marinette.D.C.@email.com

Date: November 6, 2021 5:30 P.M.

Subject: What The Hell Is An Aesthetic?

Dear Marinette,

I understand that I’m not a fashion designer myself but I really can’t see how much answering your questions would help with the design. How will knowing about my relationships with them help you make their clothes? If I tell you I don’t like one in particular, are you going to make theirs out of a scratchy material or something? Are you sure that question wasn’t posed out of curiosity because you gave me more insight on your personal life but I didn’t offer anything on mine? I assure you it’s nothing personal, I simply like my privacy.

As I’m sure you can guess from the subject line, I had a little trouble researching what aesthetics are because nothing seems to make sense. It’s as if a lot of people collectively decided to use a word wrong. I don’t know what you want me to say. 

In hindsight, I can admit I didn’t really give you much to go on but in all honesty I think my brothers will probably freak out simply over the fact that they’ll get to have MDC originals. If I were to guess what they’d like, I’d say Drake could really do with something comfortable, Todd’s wardrobe consists mainly of biker jackets and I truly couldn’t see him wearing anything else, and Grayson? He’s the easiest to please but if we’re going for sentimental value I think a Christmas sweater would do, the tackier the better. 

Is that enough to work on? Sincerely,

Damian

Postscript: Have you yet to realize that while you let your “friends” walk all over you, you seem to not let me get away with anything? Is it also too much to assume from your email that you’ve since discovered you can do better than your good-for-nothing friend?

From:Marinette.D.C.@email.com

To:DoWhatISay@email.com

Date:November 7, 2021  12:01 A.M.

Subject: (Sigh)

Dear Damian,

No, that was not nearly enough to work on. All I have to go on at the moment is that Drake wants a comfy sweater, Todd’s fashion sense is limited to leather jackets, and Grayson wants a “tacky” Christmas sweater. I don’t even know where to start with that.

Now because it’s taking us so long just to sort out the basic details, I was going to suggest we exchange phone numbers to make things go a little faster but as it seems that you think I have nothing better to do than wonder about your personal life (I do by the way), I’m worried you’d accuse me of being a stalker. So, let me try to be a little more clear.

Sentimental value comes from using what you know about a person to give them something that would mean more to them personally than say a random stranger on the street. I can’t help you much with the design because I don’t have a relationship with your brothers. I don’t know them and I have no clue what they like or want. Still with me?

The reason I asked about relationships to them is because the more personal you make the gifts, the more thoughtful they’ll be considered and, here’s what your stake in this is, the more likely you are to not be sent away. I was looking for details like inside jokes, common interests between your siblings, maybe things you bonded over in the beginning. A lot of my inspiration and artistry comes from little small details expressed in the design through methods like stitching or embroidery. 

I can now see that it might be hard for some people to know what might provoke inspiration. So I’ll start with some small specifics: What colors are their favorites? Hoods or no hoods? Zipper or buttons? Pockets? Like I mentioned before, it would be a really big help if we could set up a time and just hash this out through text messages. It’s important that we’re on the same page here. If you don’t like the first few rounds of designs, well then we’d really be cutting it close for time. I’d normally be doing this kind of a commission in person or at least over the phone or skype. 

That being said, if it’s truly something you’re not comfortable with, we can totally find a way to make this work. Okay, Damian? Love,

Marinette

P.S. I’m beginning to see that there’s a difference between writing to you and dealing with my classmates. I don’t know if it’s because we’re not face to face or the fact that you’re still practically a stranger. Something about our emails makes me feel, I don’t know, self assured again, maybe your arrogant manner just trumps any restraint I’d otherwise have. And as for if I’ve learned I can do better (Now who’s more invested in the other’s social life?), you might be interested to know I’ve stopped replying to my no-longer-a-friend’s texts. 

From: DoWhatISay@email.com

To: Marinette.D.C.@email.com

Date: November 7, 2021 6:30 A.M.

Subject: Let’s Get This Over With

Dear Marinette,

I see I may have overlooked a little when it comes to the designing process. I didn’t mean to insult you by saying your questions weren’t valid. In my defense, I may have been a bit frustrated after failing to learn what an aesthetic is (you still haven’t explained that by the way). I also think I’m beginning to understand what you mean about sentimental value and of course I want to maximize my chances of staying.

So, here’s my phone number: X-XXX-XXX-XXXX. I will make myself available today from 2:00-5:00 p.m. Gotham Standard Time which is 8:00-11:00 p.m. Paris time I believe. Does that work for you?

As for your smaller questions: Grayson’s favorite color is dark/ navy blue, Drake and Todd both like red and black. On the subject of hoods, possibly one for Drake’s sweater, perhaps the kind that has those ties that can be pulled to close it, and for Todd’s jacket, definitely. If a zipper or button is needed then zippers would be preferable. As for pockets, perhaps we could go over them later. I suppose it would depend on the design.

I trust this email was a little more helpful than the last few and look forward to your further contact, if the timing’s to your liking. Sincerely,

Damian

Postscript: I can’t say I entirely understand what you mean but our emails are definitely new territory for me as well. I couldn’t imagine talking to my classmates the way I write to you. While I am satisfied to see you made the right choice (with my suggestion mind you) about what to do about your no-longer-worth-a-thought peer, I find it quite misrepresentative for you to say I’m invested in your social life when this whole deal of ours was your idea in the first place. 

Needed to go over this while writing chapter nine and figured while I had the document up I might as well repost it here. To any of my AO3 readers, guess what? Chapter nine is practically finished! I still have a few more details to work out but it should be up either today or tomorrow! I’m both nervous and excited to finally have it posted! Anyway, see you soon!

Master List

[tibbinswrites]

Hi x could you do #327 for canon destiel please? Btw I love your work, you wright so eloquently x

You’re so sweet! Thank you! Sorry it’s taken me so long. I wasn’t sure what to do for this one, but then I was re-organising my fanfic folder and came across a wip that I’d started ages ago but never got around to making something out of it. And with a little tweaking, seemed to fit the prompt pretty well :D I hope you like it.

I’ve now done prompts for: #1, #2, #4 and #16, #9, #10, #20, #33, #77, #78, #170 (part 1), (part 2), #327 and #502 and I’ve got a possible part 3 of #170 pending. I’m not accepting any more prompts at the moment.

Also, just in case you hadn’t heard already, I’m part of an incredible destiel anthology. Our indegogo page is live here and there are tiers ranging from simply gorgeous PDF copies and all the podfics to beautiful print books and a bunch of other merch like bookmarks and art prints. We’re at an amazing 78% funded already! Check it out.

Warning for mentions of torture (hell flashback)

Enjoy ^_^

Prompt 327: “I could hear you… breathing.”

Dean woke gasping, sweat-soaked and tangled in his sheets. It took him a few seconds to remember where he was, a few more for his eyes to adjust to the near-black, and almost a full minute after that for the thumping of his heart to slow and his breathing to calm.

Just a nightmare.

He was used to waking up like this, but the Déjà vu didn’t make it any easier. Sure, he could joke about it in the daylight, be cavalier or even talk seriously about the fact that his nightmares were a regular occurrence if there was a need, but in the dark, with his dream still blurring the edges of his vision, it was impossible to be anything other than afraid.

When the fear faded as the familiar shapes of his room began to emerge from the gloom, he was left with an even more familiar frustration. He hated that Alastair still had sway over him. The demon had been dead for over ten years but his skin still rippled with cold dread whenever his mind wandered in that particular downwards direction. In some ways Dean had never left Hell, in some ways, Alastair had won and even after all these years, that rankled on him in a way that few things did.

He tried to kick off the sheets but on discovering that they’d wrapped around his ankle had to reach down and yank them from him with his hands, grumbling at the extra inconvenience. He stripped the bed without needing to turn on the light, this was a common enough occurrence that he had the process down. Bare duvet and pillows in one pile, gross bottom sheet, pillow cases and duvet cover in another. According to his blinking alarm clock it was almost five am anyway, he wouldn’t be getting any more sleep tonight. He braced himself and then switched on his bedside lamp, sucking in a breath through his teeth as the too-bright, too-sudden light stabbed into his retinas, ruining his night vision. He squinted for a few moments until he could blink without it feeling like the beginnings of a headache and then set about re-making the bed with fresh sheets, tucking in the corners military-tight, fluffing the pillows before placing them perfectly. When he was done, his bed looked like it had never been slept in.

He dropped the soiled sheets into his hamper and then headed to shower; his skin was oily with drying sweat and as it cooled it only made him shiver, the kind of shaky that travelled through muscles and up into the head, that wouldn’t go away unless he scrubbed off all evidence that anything was wrong.

Once in the bathroom he yanked off his clothes, left them in a damp pile by the door and twisted the shower knob on.

The spray was icy when it when hit him but warmed quickly and soon it was at that perfect temperature just over the line of scalding. He stopped shivering and let the water relax him, making sure to jerk his brain back if it threatened to wander to the reason he was taking a shower at five in the morning, to the clammy hands he still felt the imprints of, the nasal voice, those cold eyes alight with malice, delight at his pain, that face he will never forget.

He took a deep breath to steady himself, his stomach twisting unpleasantly, and almost choked on water.

“Are you thirsty, Dean?” Alastair taunted, holding his head under a spray of liquid. And Dean was, he was parched, he hadn’t had anything to drink in more than twenty years and Hell never let him forget it. So he opened his mouth, because that was the game, and the water burned like acid.

Dean yanked his head back from the spray, spluttering, choking, burning. And it didn’t matter that he knew he was safe, that the water was only not, not actually painful, that he was in the bunker and Sam was just down the hall, he stumbled from the shower, naked and dripping and definitely not clean yet, to hunch over the toilet bowl and retch until his stomach was empty. Of course the acid in his throat didn’t help that particular memory to face but once he was done he felt better. The remainder of his shower was embarrassingly rushed and tepid and he stepped out, rubbed himself with a towel and tried not to think. He brushed his teeth with a little more force than necessary and gargled some mouthwash, all the while avoiding his reflection in the mirror. When he left the bathroom he dressed quickly. There was no point hanging around his room. Staring blankly at a wall wouldn’t exactly help the shadows retreat.

He opened the door to find Cas leaning against the wall opposite. He straightened when he saw Dean, and Dean was tempted to just close the door again. Instead he sighed and stepped out into the chilly hallway.

“Let me guess,” Dean said, trying to hide the tremble in his voice. “Just passing by?”

“No.” Cas said, as blunt as ever. “I felt your distress.”

Well that was embarrassing. He rubbed at the back of his neck before folding his arms. It had been a long time since he’d had a nightmare that bad.

“So you thought you’d just… hang out here?”

“I could hear you… breathing,” Cas said with a slight cough that translated ‘breathing’ into ‘violently throwing up’. “I wasn’t sure I’d be welcome.”

“You wouldn’t’ve been,” was Dean’s immediate response, though some of the unease in his gut had lessened. Seeing Cas there calmed him, and Alastair’s voice retreated back to the box it usually lived in.

Cas nodded like he expected as much. “I figured you were still in my radius nonetheless.”

“Your… what?”

Cas’ lips jumped up at the edges a little, the way they did when Dean showed his ignorance about angels, despite living with one. Dean was still too raw from his nightmare to get pissy about it. It was nice just to see Cas smile.

“My radius. All angels have a—I suppose you could say—calming presence.”

Dean raised an eyebrow, mouth curling into a smirk of his own. “Bullshit.”

Cas shrugged. “It’s mostly only effective on the unconscious,” he paused, fighting another smile, “or the weak-willed.”

“Hey!”

Cas’ laugh was soft, only barely hitting the tiles so it wrapped around the two of them but went no further. Suddenly, Dean felt a little less cold. “Humans tend not to have room for it when they’re awake. Your minds are always so busy that an outside influence is easily disregarded.”

“You sayin’ I don’t have much goin’ on upstairs?” Dean asked, trying to sound offended but knew that the smile on his face was giving him away. God, how could he feel anything other than fond with Cas standing there all straight lines and strong shoulders, his eyes gentle as sunrise? Maybe Cas was right, with Cas taking up more than half his senses, there was just no room left for the fear stuck to him. He felt it slide off and for once, didn’t worry about it coming back.

“No. I’m saying that if it works—if it’s working now—it’s because you’re letting it, because trust me.”

Dean stepped forward, and didn’t think about it too much when he stepped in close and let his hands curve around Cas’ waist to rest at the base of his spine. He dropped his head to rest it in the crook of Cas’ neck and breathed deeply.

“Well that’s true enough,” he murmured.

If Cas was surprised, he didn’t show it. His own arms came up to hold Dean tight and they just stood there. There was no expectation in the embrace, though perhaps there should have been. Nor were there nerves, though there definitely should have been. It was just… easy, in the way that things between them never were. It was comfort and accepting comfort and Dean felt that this moment, while it might not change anything between them, was important. That maybe it wasn’t anything between them that needed to change, but something inside Dean that just had.

And while he wasn’t quite ready to delve head first into it yet, with his bare feet on the icy tile, Cas’ warmth and scent and feeling of home surrounding the rest of him, the remnants of a nightmare trickling from his bloodstream, Dean was pretty sure that Cas wouldn’t have to wait much longer.

[littlebigmouse]

Boku No Hero Academia first impression:

In no particular order, covering the first 4 episodes, because I FINALLY watched them. it got kinda long and kinda critical, but I do see why ppl would like the show:

- I absolutely adore the art style and animation - the hero and villain design? awesome, I swear - that scene where Miss Mountain gets introduced and everyone just takes pictures of her butt, like, why did we need this scene? Really? Isn’t it time for the Shonen Genre to grow up a little? - All Might - I repeat, All Might as this skinny guy because he’s badly injured? Awesomeness - 80% of people have a Quirk, that means that 20% of people don’t have one, which means that one in five people actually don’t have superpowers so it is highly improbable that Deku’d be the only kid without a Quirk in his class/he and the bullies seem to know - would people with useless quirks be discriminated against as well? And shouldn’t, statistically speaking, most quirks be flippin’ useless in most cases? - on that note, I’m just so dying for the topic of Quirkless people in the population being discriminated as a whole? I mean, judging by how people treat Deku, I think they are, but at the same time they don’t appear to be at all? - What did the Quirks do to classic Beauty standards? Since it’s fairly normal for people to look abnormal, yet at the same time the crowds only ever consist of regular people in suits? Idk, waiting to see more on that I guess? - Did I mention the cinematography? A+ for the light effects in the junk yard scene - wayyyy to many flashbacks repeating something I saw 2 minutes earlier though - Deku studying all the heroes is pure and smart and actually getting him to his goal and I love it - Okay, but how come Deku appearantly never had the idea to work out before? Look at One Punch Man, it worked for him too. - Kacchan has zero chill and it is honestly getting a bit annoying already - what the heck is wrong with the teacher. Good lord, that is one heck of a bad teacher. Fire him, like, right now - seriously tho “Kacchan, you aren’t allowed to use your powers in class, oops, you set the wimp on fire, happens, I guess” (are we not gonna talk about how dangerous these powers can be? Kacchan has the ability to set people on fire and no one is like “Dude, you gotta chill and do something about your anger management, how you haven’t accidentally killed anyone is a miracle”) - Idk what that relationship between Deku and Kacchan is supposed to be, everyone calls them ‘rivals’ and ‘childhood friends’ but, just, NO. Kacchan told Deku to kill himself in his second major appearance, they ain’t no friends. - idk what Kacchans real name is, I forgot already - if no one calls Kacchan out on his bullshit any time soon I will riot. The difference between ‘Rivals’ and ‘Enemies’ is that only one of them is supposed to want to see you dead - the fact that Deku just gets to inherit his powers from All Might is a bit underwhelming. “So you are genetically at a disadvantage compared to most of society? Here’s awesome magic to give you a genetic advantage (once you learn to control it).” I’d love to see what they’d done if Deku had no way of getting actual superpowers and just had to train hard - basically, BNHA would have made an awesome Mumen Rider prequel - yes, overexerting yourself a few hours before your great exam sounds like a wonderful idea - NOT - I’m not saying it’s not relatable, I’m just saying I don’t think either of them gets to have the braincell in this show - ahahaha, Deku had to eat All Mights hair, that is both awesome and gross on so many levels - I don’t care how much magical healing they have, I call bullshit if not at least a few people get killed by falling debris every year during this exam - the girl is trapped. Deku has to save her! except. she has levitation powers. Just levitate the rock off your leg. - WHY DOESN’T SHE JUST LEVITATE THE ROCK. she can’t even feel ‘too sick’ to do it because she saves Deku afterwards anyway, so the author plain forgot about her powers there, or she has lower regard for her own life than she has for Dekus, and I’m not sure which option I’m more comfortable with, since they literally only just met and he wouldn’t even have been in danger had she just levitated the rock off her leg - im just saying, were she a male character, she would’ve been able to get the rock off her leg because of the power of determination or whatever because she wants to pass badly. But because she isn’t she gets the power of determination to save the main character, not herself. - yes I will complain about sexism in shonen anime, fight me. - the show underestimates how much broken bones HURT. Deku broke all of his bones in three of his limbs, he should have passed out from the pain a bunch of times during his fall - the flapping of his broken limbs was so painfull to watch, ahhhh - please let there be consequences for injury, please let there - oh damn it - Dekus Mom is so super supportive of her sons dreams and fretts with him over the letter and the heroes and all, but of course he doesn’t tell her about his encounter with All Might, not even that he is now training, and leaves her in front of his closed door while he opens the letter from the UA, but, but why? They seem to have a good relationship with each other so far and she is super supportive, so why doesn’t Deku open up to her more? As far as we know, she is his only ally anyway since he didn’t have any friends in middle school. It either gets adressed or it WILL bother me to no end - on that note, glasses dude with the freaky legs already looks super promising and is probably gonna end up high on my fav characters list - Deku very clearly failed the exam in every way, but passed because he had good intentions. I see where they’re coming from since he did something heroic, but he absolutely risked his life recklessly and while that is heroic, it’s also so super stupid, if all the heroes constantly pulled stunts like this, there would be no UA - what kept All Might from giving Deku his hair like, a week prior so he could test out what the heck he could even do? It’s not like Deku suddenly became shredded in the last week, they wouldn’t have noticed a huge enough difference in that last week alone to make the muscle mass argument stick (since All Mights calculations were off anyway since Deku overexerted himself and all that) and it’s just so goddamn irresponsible and dangerous coming from a character that didn’t seem stupid enough to be that irresponsible - I know All Might probably counted on Deku being heroic instead of powerful, but that still made the entire thing super risky and dangerous. Rarg. - my suspension of disbelief is officially stretched beyond ever needing to worry about any of these character’s health, because clearly, they’re gonna make it as long as they have good intentions. yawn. - I know BNHA is a very classical shonen show in this regard, but it’s not like very classical shonen weren’t able to be at least a bit reasonable about the amount of injury a character survives within the first four episodes (for all its faults, Soul Eater was awesome about that, now that I think about it. One Piece meanwhile just convinced me right off the bat that injury is purely an aesthetic thing) - I think Mob Psycho may have ruined me for shonen forever :/ - They keep teasing really good ideas only to go ‘sike!’ and do the least interesting thing. - Like, Deku has no powers, but keeps books upon books filled with analysis of his fav heroes. That’s awesome! Do something with that! Have him work out and be smart and prove that people with useless/no quirk can be just as good if they work smartly! Have him fake a quirk to get in, or get in on All Might’s reccomendation, or- - or don’t have him get in because of the systemic discrimination and have Deku become a real, classic vigilante, protecting the quirkless and fighting systemic oppression. Or have him become a villain. - I bet there’s fanfic for that. Might check out. - On that note, how do people with non-combat powers ever get into the school. “Yes, I see that you have super healing, empathy, can calm other people down, paralyse them and would in general be an awesome hero to deescalate situations. But we prefer people with the power to punch things really hard.” isn’t there a mind control guy later in the show? How’d he get in? - on second thought, the school and the test make perfect sense because entrance exams be like that. Hnnng. I dropped the show. I’m not vibing with it :/

[recurring-polynya]

Hi, I'm late to the party but if you are still interested in doing the bookish asks: 1 and 7 + 13 + 18. I hope you have a good day!!!

It’s never too late!! (the book meme was back here, icymi)

1. Which book would you consider the best book you’ve ever read and why?

“Best” is such a subjective term.

On one hand, every single person who has ever met me in real life would call me a huge liar if I didn’t at least mention Infinite Jest. I love Infinite Jest. It blew my head off my shoulders. I think about it all the time, I talk about it incessantly.  I read it twice in two years and I imagine I was absolutely insufferable at that time. It is a work of genius, an achievement beyond the bounds of normal humans. It is simultaneously extremely prescient (I have thought about the section about masks for video calls literally every day of the pandemic) and spectacularly wrong (the rise of Netflix would make people go watch a duck pond turn over, REALLY?) That being said, DFW was a very troubled man and a deeply problematic one. The book is far too white and male, and it has been championed by a particular breed of Shitty Dudes. To be honest, it’s not even a book. It’s the negative space of a book, a Fourier Transform of a book. I wish everyone would read it, and I make it a personal point to never, ever tell anyone to read it. But if you do, I am absolutely here to discuss the filmography of J.O. Incandenza at any time.

I read The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemison shortly after it won a Hugo in 2016, and I knew, upon reading it, that it was the most important speculative fiction book of my generation. It is everything specfic is supposed to be-- to challenge your place in the world, to make you feel both complicit and cheated by the systems around you, to make you rage at injustice, to make you want to change things. It is a very upsetting series-- many awful things happen to the main characters. I don’t recall it being particular gross or gory, just devastating. One of the central themes is the way that mothers try and fail to protect their children, and I read it at a time when I had small babies and I burst into tears constantly. Anyway, it’s an incredible set of books, but it’s not fun to read. As a bonus, as far as I can tell from interviews and her Twitter, N.K. Jemison is a very smart and cool person.

Finally, to round out the set: every time I read Howl’s Moving Castle, I am struck with what a perfect novel it is. It is small and cozy, exciting and sweet and weird and funny. If I could choose any novel in the world to have written, it would be Howl’s Moving Castle.

7. Have you ever despised something you have read?

Oh, boy, have I!

I can hold a grudge against a book much longer than I could ever hold a grudge against a person! In my old age, I have gotten in the habit of giving up on things that I am not enjoying, which has caused me to chill out a lot, but I do have some old hate-faves!

I used to hate Game of Thrones. I threw the second one across the room after some witch lady gave birth to some evil smoke. But these days, I just really feel for the fans, who seem like really nice folks. They got a shitty last season and they’re never going to get the last of those books. I also feel for G.R.R. Martin, because I can definitely imagine getting that far along with something and then pbbting on the floor, and I cannot bring myself to feel anything bad for him.

The Road was almost a good book. I will be honest, I only read it because I am deeply in love with the Fleet Foxes song White Winter Hymnal. The mechanics of cannibalism as so poorly envisioned in The Road. Look, I do not like thinking about cannibalism. I hate cannibalism. There are only two zombie movies I will watch and I want nothing to do with any Hannibal-related property. But The Road’s ideas about cannibalism is so bad that even I am offended by it. I was extremely gratified when my very specific complaints appeared in this classic The Toast piece.

The last book I hated was something by Brandon Sanderson that I hated so much that I refuse to look up the title. All the magic was color based, and there was one pretty cool lady fighter character who got upset because she trained so hard that she got really ripped and didn’t think she was pretty anymore. I can’t believe I finished that book.

13. How do you chose which book to read next?

I used to be a really well-rounded reader. I read a lot of non-fiction, mostly history of science, and the sort Malcolm Gladwell stuff that was popular in early aughts. Around the time of the first Ferguson protests, I made a practice of reading a lot of Black authors and non-fiction about Black people, for about a year. I would try to alternate books that met my reading aspirations with more “dessert” reading-- fluffy stuff, re-reading old faves, when something new by a beloved author would come out. I have had a couple of friends write books and I do make it a priority to buy and read them. Also, if a friend specifically asks me to read something because they want to talk about it, I will also prioritize it, this is my love language.

Anyway, after the 2016 election, my brain broke, I could no longer handle anything difficult and bad in my leisure time and I read exclusively YA for about a year. I kinda stopped reading books entirely in 2019 when I was obsessively writing fanfic, but I have gotten back into it lately. I choose what to read entirely based on whimsy. I have been reading Jane Austen books all summer, and I’m gonna read Sense and Sensibility next. It’s sitting on the coffee table, I just need to actually open it up.

18. Did you enjoy the Hunger Games?

The Hunger Games were... fine? I read a lot of YA, and they aren’t my favorites by any means, but they were exciting and I remember reading through them really fast. (I hesitate to say I *enjoyed* them, because they are not very fun books). Probably my hottest Hunger Games take is that I think they would have been substantially improved if they hadn’t been written in the first person.

The thing about Katniss is that she is honestly not a smart person. She’s a dummy. I... love this actually. Young women are so rarely allowed to stupid in media. It’s so much more common to see the Hermiones-- the girl who is smart and level-headed and sensible, where her male companions are fun and relatable and dumb as rocks. Katniss gets manipulated a lot-- that’s what the book is about, but it’s not in a dudes-trying-to-get-in-her-pants way, it’s in a society-trying-to-turn-her-into-a-tool, which is also a plotline that girls don’t get. Unfortunately, because it’s written in the first person, it’s pretty easy to get frustrated with the character, or feel like the book or the author is stupid, rather than that there is this dim bulb character getting led around by the nose. I think a third-person narration could give a more forgivable perspective on her. Katniss has a lot of good qualities-- she is brave and loyal and wants to do what’s right, and I think the books would be better served to make you, the reader, get righteously angry at the way she is being exploited, than to try to give you a view inside her head. I think this is also why the movies came out pretty good, although, to be fair, I think I only saw the first one.

[faejilly]

iapetusneume replied to your post “People really be out here having fits as if the Tempest isn't a thing...”

I'm trying to look in your tumblr for context for this but either my connection is bad or I'm just hopelessly lost lol

probably a bit of both, there isn’t much context to be had? What little I can sort of explain is here: #shdldr/chrono (Basically I made the truly controversial statement that: censorship is bad, and people should not be bullied for writing dark!fic, morally grey characters, or even having themes of rape or incest in their fic, and made an anonymous collection for people to post Shadowhunters fic to avoid the dog-piling of the purity-wank crowds. And then got yelled at a lot here and on twitter! It was a. Something?)

neuromagpie replied to your post “re: the anon - Making someone a dom is bad now? Please explain. —...”

Thank you for clarifying your stance on this. These are unsettling trends and issues that pretty much every fandom faces, but they’re nuanced subjects that deserve to be discussed, not a war to take sides over. I wish that some authors were willing to have discussions with folks that find their content upsetting, and I wish that some folks wouldn’t resort to unhelpful anonymous trolling. Anyways thank you, OP.

I am going to disappoint you mightily, but this is not a nuanced issue. Either you think it is wrong to bully people over fiction and that content cannot be policed because censorship is wrong... or you think there should be exceptions and it’s okay as long as it’s happening to the other guy. That’s it.

Do I think we should talk about the way media is harmful? YES. Do I think *fandom and fanworks* can be harmful. YES. 110%. THAT IS ENTIRELY SEPARATE FROM THIS ISSUE.

I am all for every possible conversation about how trends in fanfic and fandom are racist and sexist and queer-phobic and etc. (because fandom is still part of the rest of the screwd up world!) and how we  can fight against that. But that is NOT THIS CONVERSATION. They are two separate issues, and the tendency of people to combine them is where we get into trouble. That is never ever an excuse to pick a single work or author and threaten and bully them because you think they did it wrong.

dearophelia replied to your post “can you delete the fic”

what is even happening

no one knows. people are dumb™

i just caught up and this is a perfect response

why thank you 💗

loquaciousquark replied to your post “can you delete the fic”

This is infuriating to watch.

ikr? I am. Mostly just flabbergasted. This is the hill they’re going to die on! That writing fiction is bad, and I should feel bad for supporting it *shrugs*

jathis replied to your post “can you delete the fic”

Lol

😘

ohfreckle replied to your post “Okay I'm gonna be honest here. That collection is all about "kinks"...”

Seems like anon's kink is self-punishment if they keep visiting places that clearly aren't for them.

*snerk* TMI from the anons!

lemonsharks replied to your post “Okay I'm gonna be honest here. That collection is all about "kinks"...”

Where are these people coming from and, perhaps more importantly, would they be here if anon was turned off?

Probably some of them? I got a few on twitter too before I blocked them. They seemed vaguely offended, but most of them started the conversation with: this is gross, if you agree with this, block me. So I did?

lemonsharks replied to your post “@glorious-spoon asked: ugHHH i almost feel like i should apologize...”

I don't even go here but YES THIS THIS IS THE PROBLEM I HAVE HAD with the ENTIRE perennial wank over top/bottom in every fandom I've been in.

I have always thought that it was really obvious that the problem was THE QUESTION? And yet. *shrugs* 

junemermaid replied to your post “@glorious-spoon asked: ugHHH i almost feel like i should apologize...”

This this THIS. I didn't get this far or this eloquently on twitter today but this is the core of the problem. Discuss troublesome trends instead of dogpiling single writers!

Yeah. There’s a huge difference between: I DO NOT THINK WE SHOULD WRITE ALEC WITH WOMEN BECAUSE THAT IS QUEER ERASURE 

and

omg look at this particular & terrible author and kill them 

like. obviously? I would have thought?

evilsapphyre replied to your post “*makes you a Bloody Mary after that anon* I think you may need this...”

Oh, yes, drinks someday. Somewhere. But mostly, then so you could sit back and just laugh with a tasty drink while seeing people miss the point of dl;dr.

yeah. like. IT’S NOT A TRICKY ACRONYM. IT’S REALLY STRAIGHTFORWARD

bugsieplusone replied to your post “Hold up, let me get this straight, you are supporting this whole...”

How ridiculous is this. It's fiction. Go pearl clutch about things in the real world that matter anon.

ilu. since I haven’t said that lately 💖

la-muerta replied to your post “Hold up, let me get this straight, you are supporting this whole...”

Woooaaahhh hold up here. Magnus being the dom or written as !dark (because he’s canonically the son of a Prince of Hell??? UM.) is your idea of “fetishising”? Like I’ve heard some nonsense, but this is some fuckery, anon.

yeah. *sighs* Have I mentioned that I am tired? 

[bloomvalyria]

I am not trying to be mean of anything, just curious. Why do you like sparxshipping? Like I just don’t understand and want to know from your POV why!

12/30/18: Hey guys! I wanted to announce that I heavily edited bits of this to more accurately convey my points (especially with the age difference part because i don’t believe i worded that as eloquently as i should have). I would also just like to add that thisparticular post mainly involves my personal opinions about Sparxshipping. Thereare plenty of other Sparxshippers out there who might share the same opinionsas me or have their own differing opinions. I was simply asked about why I liked it; therefore, I answered.

Sparxshipping is a very delicate subject infandom. In fact, I would be so bold as to say it’s the most hated non-canonship in the Winx Club fandom. Therefore, if you’re a fan of it, chances are youdon’t talk about it much because you’re going to get shit on. And, clearly, Idon’t tag most of my Sparxshipping posts in the Winx Club tag due to the nasty response I’m sure to receive. But what the hell! I have a major migraine and I’m in the mood to piss some people off. I have some time to talk about a few points.

So, let’s talk about Sparxshipping, shall we?

For me, I like Sparxshipping for many reasons but mainly because of how well their personalities complement each other. And I’m not talking the good vs. evil bullshit either. What I am talking about is how there is no ‘one is one step behind the other’ situation –they’re equal. They’re equal in their wit; their determination; their initiative; their thirst for power; I could go on. It just makes them so much fun to write, especially because they’re so similar that no one can really ignore it. Hell, at the end of season 3, Baltor even admits that they’re the same (idk if he says that in the other versions; i didn’t watch them). So, seeing and realizing those same personalities traits that Bloom and Baltor share was just something i thought was, to be frank, really cute. It’s like they’re so similar they can’t stand it; it’s great. 

That’s personallyhow I view it. I could go more in-depth with it, but I know the majority ofpeople who are reading this that criticize Sparxshipping could not care lessabout personal opinions. They’re very set in their opinions, which they havethe right to have. Therefore, I’d like to take this time to address the typicalquestions that are bound to hit this post (‘Isn’the the villain?’ ‘He’s tried to murder her and her friends countless times!’‘He helped destroy her realm!’ ‘What’s wrong with you?’ ‘Isn’t he like 20-30-40years older than her?’ ‘That’s so gross!’) and do what I’m pretty sure no one else on this website has doneand actually respond to them.

So sit back andlet your ass be educated for a minute.

Now, I know the main thing for many people as to whythey don’t like Sparxshipping is because of one very sensitive topic: the agedifference. And my response to that is this: we as a fandom know little tonothing about Baltor. People automatically jump and say ‘Oh he’s like 20 years olderthan her, that’s disgusting!’. Okay, how do youknow that? Have we been given a birth year? No, we haven’t. We don’t even knowif he was born or if he was simply created into existence looking like he doesnow (which is my best guess). We don’t know. We know nothing about his past;therefore, to try and discern his age is pretty pointless. Most(including myself) have come to the conclusion that based on physical appearance alone hecould be anywhere from his mid twenties to early thirties. However, I wasreminded by an anon that he was around when Griffin was a teenager and he looksthe exact same. So the only way I can potentially describe the age situation isthat Baltor is the Edward Cullen of the Winx Club universe (And no, that is notme comparing the couples). Bella was 17, and Edward looked 17 but he wasactually over a hundred years old. So either he was poofed into existence to eternally look the same age, or when he decided to join the Ancestresses, he was ‘born’ into Darkness and it has prevented him from aging.

Plus, to go the extra mile, for those who keepyelling about how Bloom is supposedly underage, yes: the underage issue is abig thing that’s been talked about in the Sparxshipping community for a very long time. However, I know there are fanfic writers out there who do actuallybump up Bloom’s age for the purpose of avoiding this topic because this isfanfiction and you can do that. However, I’m fairly certain that in Season 3 Bloom is actually 18, or if she’s not she’s 18 in my eyes. (I know there is also a post somewhere on tumblr that actually broke down the ages of the girls to prove that Bloom isactually 18 in Season 3 to prove the underage issue null and void, and if I canfind that post again I’ll be sure to come back in and link it.)

Let’s move on, shall we?

As I’ve said,Sparxshipping is a much hated pairing. Mostwould pinpoint the origin of this hatred to the villain-hero trope that theship displays and that some people have an aversion to such a union. However,I’d pinpoint it even further beneath the surface all the way down to the nittygritty old FanFiction days. In these days, horrible (and I mean horrible) fic tropes came out to play –avery popular one being Stockholm Syndrome. And, unfortunately, for many Sparxshipping writers who came to the archive, we were in a sense brainwashed into thinking this was okay because these malicious tropes were being praised since it was quite literally all the archive had. No one was attempting to write the ship in a more flattering light, per se. So, if you’re an outsider looking in, you’re going to see some pretty fucked up shit going on if you go to some of the older fics and instantly be turned off from the ship. Nowadays though, there are Sparxshipping fics being filtered in that do not involve these tropes and are promoting a healthier relationship between the two. And if you haven’t read any of those, I highly recommend you do. 

’OH MY GOD HOW CAN YOU MAKE IT A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP?? HE HELPED MURDER HER PLANET AND HAS ATTACKED HER AND HER FRIENDS ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS! DID YOU FORGET THAT???’ Wow. Thank you. I never realized that that’s the reason why Bloom hated him so much. Thank you for opening my eyes. But, you know, there’s this magical thing about Sparxshipping that most critics seem to never have pointed out before that I’d like to ask them: When did we ever say that we’ve forgotten all the god-awful shit Baltor’s done? We’re very aware of what he did, guys. We watched the show just like all of you. We’re not excusing what he’s done, and in our writing now we don’t excuse what he’s done. There’s something in real-life relationships that many couples struggle with –it’s called forgiveness. And it’s very intricately woven into Sparxshipping. It’s so intricately woven, in fact, that when some writers attempt to write it, it doesn’t come across very well, making our ship look even worse. It’s definitely one of the more difficult aspects of writing this ship. But, as I previously stated, we’re not excusing it, and if you think we are then you couldn’t be more wrong.

Anyway, this post became much longer than I intended it to, and certainly not as articulate as I’d hoped. But I’m in agonizing pain, and I need sleep. Also, if anyone would like me to elaborate on any details in this, feel free to let me know! I always look in my inbox, and will answer you as soon as I possibly can!

Image: Zeta-La-Angie on VKText Added In by Me

[seenashblog]

Nash Watches & Rates Cheesy Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies So You Don’t Have To

a.k.a. -  Nash Records Her Viewings Of Hallmark & Lifetime Winter Movies, which are fanfic in visual form & are gold. And yes, it’s a apparently a legit sub-genre. Best I can tell, if it’s not Christmas or Valentines, and there’s snow, then it goes. Spoilers abound.)

Note: This adventure has been moved to here from my main blog @seenashwrite, so my SPN peeps can rest assured they’ll not be exposed to this any longer - I have a feeling I’ll not be done purging my soul for a while yet #bless my heart

As per last time during the Christmas round-ups, 4 and 5 stars mean the best of the lot, 3 stars means it’s not necessarily a waste of your time, 2 stars is up to your discretion, and 1 star means it is time you will never get back.

Winter's Dream (Kristy Hot Damn Swanson, Dean Mothafukkin' Cain - Hallmark)

With it packing this level of stardom, how can it go wrong? Understand that I can take or leave Dean Cain, but Kristy Swanson is the shit. 

The official summary/another summary from somewhere:

When a former ski champion re-enters the competitive world after a 16-year-old downhill racer asks for help, she finds a new love and reawakens an old passion.

Former pro skier, Kat, is asked to coach a younger skier, named Anna, and finds love with the girl's widowed father, Ty.

These are both kinda garbage summaries - I mean, they're accurate, but it doesn't paint the whole picture. There's nothing really to spoil, and though it hits a couple things on a winter bingo (still forthcoming), they're more the Hallmark staples, such as the kid (in this case, a really great teen gal who's a good actress) who brings people together, and that the lodge/the resort is in danger of being lost, and somebody teaches somebody else how to skate, and that shit, but the bottom line is it's a fine watch. It's not spectacular, but it's not dipped in cheese, and there's some really pretty shots of the skiing (especially something they do at the end), plus kudos for the body doubles (the ones doing the actual skiing) were spot-on, and the teen actress did an impressive end-of-run stop at one point, you know it's her because she immediately whips off her mask.

Bottom line, this movie woulda been ass if not for Swanson and Cain, who didn't have greeeeat chemistry, though they made it work. In any event, the script was solid - like I say, not a great deal of cheese and any lines that were aren't sticking out to me because they were delivered so well - so I'm actually gonna rate this one decently high.

4/5 stars

.

Love on the Sidelines (this dude who's been in three movies I've seen so far, John Reardon, and some basic blonde chick who is vaguely familiar - Hallmark)

This isn’t technically a winter one, I don’t think, but it’s on, so it counts.

So they try to throw you from the get-go with "Is injured dude gonna be the love interest which is totally inappropriate since he's her boss and clearly got about 12 years on her and has made multiple patronizing comments to her, about how physically strong she is and about her classic car and about her abilities in general, or is it the other dude on the team who took an immediate interest in her and has thus far been polite and respectful and friendly and flirty?"

(By the way, main dude has cock-blocked his friend, but he has a model girlfriend [who is styled to be a stereotype from extensions to heels] and it's also shown he has no idea about stuff she likes/is into, such as her favorite flowers - but chick knew because she had 'em out for their romantic dinner. That's right, it's part of her assistant duties - and she's supposed to be helping him with activities of daily living stuff - is to prep his bone zones.)

If they make dude #2 turn out to be a douche and that main dude is somehow awesome underneath all his shit----- what am I saying, of course they are. The latter, that is. You know I'm right. Hundred percent.

People are like losing their chickens over this jersey she's tailored to be a "girl fit" - you know what I mean, it's not a box with sleeves, there's tailoring to it, so the sleeves aren't so ginormous and it's tapered on the sides. This jersey's been the topic of about three interactions thus far and we're only 40 minutes (so 30 mins airtime) in. They're all "Wow!" and "This is so creative!" and "My wife would love that, where'd you get it!"  Y'all, google for this, that type of jersey, I mean. [pause] Nevermind, here:

I put in the mystical combo of "women's NFL football jersey".

THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY

Hey, and heh-heh.... quick bonus....

WHYENNE!!!! THAT BITCH IS EVERYWHERE

But hey, how else would we know that fashion design is her passion? Scriptin' be hard, yo. Speaking of her clothes skillz - "I think there's more to him," she says to BFF, whose wedding dress she's fitting. First, *eyeroll*. Second, if your friend is trying to watch a football game and learn the basics, don't let them fit you for your farging wedding at the same time. Which is what is happening.

There's twinkly magical music when his hand runs over hers when they're both searching under the couch, feeling around for his dropped cell phone.

*more eyeroll*

I do like the car, it's a red Mustang.... early 70s, maybe?.... but I can say I don't care for the shade of red, it's a little too cherry popsicle or hooker scarlet lipstick.

(My dream car is probs a Mustang muscle in black, but as far as zoom-zooms go, I tell ya, a friend of mine had a Porsche Boxster, and What. A. Ride., and he'd offered to teach me how to drive stick on it - not a euphemism, I swear, I was 16, my dad was his mentor, he's like the child my father never had - I'M A HUGE DISAPPOINTMENT OKAY - so like my big brother, and anyhow, it was so beautiful I gasped at the very thought. But sweet babby jeebus, those suckers are smooth rides. None of this matters.)

Anyway, she keeps having trouble starting it, and I can tell by the sound it isn't the alternator, nor is it the battery, nor is it a belt, nor is she flooding the engine. I know fuck-all about cars as a general rule, but I know those sounds because I've experienced all of them. It has now gone to commercial, as he's just looked under the hood and announced after 3.8 seconds "Yup, I think I see your problem."  He must have x-ray vision. I am on pins-and-needles, shivering with anticipation.

Back from commercial, he's shutting the hood and she's saying "Wow you did it!" and wiping grease from his face. He's got an absolutely wrecked calf/ankle/foot (and straight up, they've done a good job making it all seem legit, props to... well, props... and make-up), but you're telling me he was standing and bent over long enough to get all greasy, and he's supposed to be - most of the time - either sitting or standing with that bitch elevated. This was stupid. This was a stupid, wholly unnecessary scene. Oh except we find out - because it's visible in the back seat - that she's read his children's book.

That's right. He's written a children's book.

Dude's mom: "I think he's dating the wrong type of women". Subtle, screenwriters, subtle. Now he's sneaking and working out. I really hope they show his ankle buckling out at a wicked angle. I'm gross like that. Twinkly music plays as she waits for him in the locker room while he's in with the sports trainer because he shouldn't have been working out.

Forgot to mention there's an awesome dog, this really beautiful Dane, and of course it loves her and hates Stereotype, because reasons for him to go ga-ga. She's honestly not bad, I have zero issue with the actress, nor with this actor, they're actually both good, but between the music and this script, I'm fighting over what rating to give it. (Checks clock) Welp, the next 45 minutes should tell me. It's dragging ass, I'll tell you that, though.

Like, nothing's happened. Nothing. He has an injury, she's his new personal assistant. I can list traits they each have. I've seen groups of moments. I don't know what the story is. Is it just "they get closer and fall in lurve"? That's... not a story. That's a series of facts. People meet their partners/spouses via the workplace all the time. What's the plot? What's the conflict? The obstacles? The tension? The OOMPH, I'd call it, is missing. This is what kills me about most fanfic - they just tell me stuff, they aren't showing me a new perspective or a twist or a unique take or differing interpretation that's still supported by canon, or an inventive plot that or what-the-hell-ever. Dean and Whyenne were in the bunker and they researched and they cooked and they talked about Cas and Sam, and they argued about her going on a hunt, then they kissed, the end! That's not a story, that's a daydream. I've digressed.

Now he's texted her "the emergency code" while she's at her best friend's wedding, and turns out it's because he's cranky because his sister said he's got to learn how to not be the center of attention. And she - I am proud to say - lets. Him. Have. It.  Part of what she says is - Can you do *anything* for yourself?!  And he goes - This!  And he kisses her, and it takes her off guard, but then they go for it, and I am actually happy for them.

Shit. I still hate that this isn't a story, but holy hell the difference when some conflict is introduced. Ahhhhhmazeballs. Conflict, however minor, is what shows us who these people we're watching/reading really are - and no, conflict does not mean angst, nor does it mean some sort of heart-breaking, can't-take-it-back fight, nor does it mean life-and-death, just divergent paths or opinions is all it takes. I've digressed again.

My interest is piqued because we have a half-hour to go, and typically this is how Hallmark blows their wad in the last fifteen.

[time passes]

Okay, a couple things turned out decent. Y'all will *love* what the best friend pulls at the end, and she and her hubby have been great throughout, but this one particular thing was clutch. And everybody had chemistry, family and friends and romance alike. It just can't help the lack of story, and I really detest the manner in which they made lead dude a jerk - there's other ways to do that besides going the lazy route, a.k.a. being sexist. It's not as bad as a two (a.k.a. - this is a matter of taste), because there's some objectively good stuff.... on the other hand, my lord is dragged. So I'm going with a three, because it's a toss-up as to whether you're gonna really like it, or think "Meh".

3/5 Stars

.

One Winter Weekend / One Winter Proposal (Taylor Cole, some other people - Hallmark)

So the former was in last year's winter line-up, the latter in this one. Taylor Cole played Sarah Blake on SPN. I see she's also on deck for some detective thing on Hallmark Movies & Mysteries.

And.... that's all I got to say about that.

I genuinely tried to watch these. They played them back-to-back, and speaking of backs, mine was acting up so I was laid out, and I thought - all right, this'll kill some time. And I fell asleep at 6 p.m., y'all. I took ibuprofen, I was not getting liquored up, I slept plenty the night before, and I fell the fuck to sleep. These movies are boring as fuck. 

I saw no sparks, and there were two couples from which to divine said spark. The co-lead chick was incredibly annoying, she plays everything too perky, and it's really evident in scenes with her romantic interest, who is a good actor and came off completely naturally. Actually, he should've been the main-main male lead, I bet he'd have had great chemistry with Cole, who's a better actor than the dude they had her paired with, but I say all that to say, the script was... meh. The pacing of both movies was weird, and the conflicts that were in them (see above for discussion on what conflict in stories actually is) were nothingburgers. It was stupid. Don't waste your time, seriously.

1/5 stars

.

We interject for a non-review that needs to be mentioned. Oh, Lifetime. Holy shitsnacks.

Double Mommy (I... I don't know... people... - Lifetime)

This is the synopsis:

Ryan discovers his friend Bryce is the father of one of his girlfriend's twin babies and that he date raped her at a party over the summer. With college looming over Bryce's head, he will stop at nothing to make sure that he clears his name.

Because the guys' feelz are what's important, here.

.

The Birthday Wish (Jessy Schram, who only acts one way and that is coked-up squirrel with blonde barrel curls - Hallmark)

This is the official summary, and it should let you know how pleased I was to watch this:

On her birthday, a woman who desperately wants her boyfriend to propose to her wishes for the opportunity to see into the future, with surprising results.

'Cause I love seeing "desperate" and "woman" in the same sentence about my main character! This was precisely what you think based on the summary - though I will say Schram doesn't play it "desperate" so that was kind've a weird word for them to use - she somehow has these premonitions (it's never explained) and the boyfriend's a dick and she ends up with her co-worker who's a great guy. The end.

1/5 stars

.

Once Upon A Prince (Megan Park, who is familiar though I don't know how, and a quite charming British fellow who isn't really, he's actually from Canada by way of New York but sounds really damn convincing - Hallmark)

Also unsure this is “winter”, but it’s worth talking about. Seriously. Still, let's get the shite - and it's minor! - out of the way.

First complaint: they blew their wad in the title. Not that we don't get the scoop fairly quickly, but... welp, no we don't, the beans aren't spilled for a while - they *easily* could've skirted it, and they HAVE, it's very nicely and smoothly done, I mean, you can divine it but it's not plot anvil'd, his situation unfolds gradually across the first act, which is so refreshing. Whoever titled it was the screw-up. I'm looking at you, Hallmark execs. All their titles spoil.

Second complaint... despite the adept nature they handled main dude's backstory, there's a really bad clunker of an anvil in that first bit - we know exactly how he's gonna propose to her in the end because they shoe-horned in really abrupt and almost non-sequitur dialogue for her wherein she tells him her dream proposal not terribly long after meeting him. It was weird and awkward. I mean, the fuck. I get she was still rattled as her longtime boyfriend with whom she had both business and personal futures planned out breaking up with her in the prior scene(s), but shit. They do recover a bit by having our dude - and damn, I love him, I genuinely do - comment something to the effect of "Well oftentimes it's easier to tell a stranger things we can't tell the ones to whom we're close". My point is, they knew it was a dog of a line, but I thought of three options to get the topic out there over the course of them getting to know each other just while I’ve sat here typing this recap - hell, they revisit the damn location later, when they are friends vs. strangers! It was bad writing.

Third complaint... y'all know by now: I hate the fake made-up countries. And this one is (wait for it) Cambria. Google Cambria. Go ahead. I'll wait. [pause] Nevermind, I'll just tell you, and this isn't because I have some bizarre encyclopedic knowledge of the way-back-when in Jolly Ol', it's because - well - I'm a reformed dinosaur nerd, and that overlaps with having an understanding of geology, because fossils. There, I said it. There were charts and sketches and stuff of the various periods of dino development from National Geographics on bedroom walls. I had it bad. For the record, I loved the book Jurassic Park, and the first movie was great, and the rest are good for laughs. The last two are good for mocking. I probably would've been a paleontologist, except for when my Christian father, who at the time  I thought was the smartest man in the world (and he is objectively intelligent in many ways) told me God put the dinosaurs in the earth, that there's no way the earth is as old as science proves. (I say proves, he said claims.) 'Cause, y'know, an almighty being is totes into pranks. Ha ha. Ha ha ha. Funsies. I've digressed.

The quick-and-dirty is that the Cambrian is the geologic period that's from around 550 million years ago. (Okay this part I'll look up, because I'm so nerdy.... yup, I see it's 542-488 mil.) Anyhow, the dude that coined the name found the goods, the exemplars that proved this stage in earth history/backed up earth's age in Wales. And the area now known as Wales used to be called Cambria a way long time ago. Not millions time ago, of course. Trilobites and whatever can't speak... THAT WE KNOW OF. So I don't know if somebody was just like "Oh, that sounds like it could be a country" or somebody was being cute, thinking Cambria wasn't real, like it was something akin to Camelot, I've no idea. Who cares, it's stupid.

However.

Guys.... y'all.... my peeps.... um.... this'n is a keeper, so I'm not going to break it down and spoil it. It is very much worth watching, if you're into these types of movies, because it differs in a huge, very positive manner. Here's why this movie is above average for Hellmark: there's legitimate conflict (see above, re: what that means), and - most importantly - they are friends. They are buddies. They genuinely like each other. This isn't just about romantic love, this is about two people who care about what happens to each other. They care that the other person is living a life in  which they are happy.

There's also some realism here, not because it's an identical situation (it is not, trust) but in the broad strokes, I think of the Prince Harry-Meghan Markle situation. Middleton is uppercrust Brit stock, if memory serves (I'm not looking it up) with some sort of pseudo-distant-whatever royal line connection. She was gold for William, she's a good option for a queen (I mean, I'm sure there's duchesses out there, but that ain't who Wills loved). Now, Markle? So far from what would be called uppercrust. So, so very far. And yeah, yeah, I get that it's not as big a deal since he's not direct but more adjacent in line to the throne, but c'mon. It was a big deal. And you know all the ways why, I won't go through them here. My dude broke about a bazillion years' worth of tradition, and good on him.

And at the end of the day, that's what this movie is about - making your own way, creating your own traditions, adapting the old traditions, having confidence to do the things you're good at, the things you believe you're meant to do, and doing them the way you think is best. Is this a deep movie? No, it's fucking Hallmark, haven't you been paying attention? You think they let us escape without a super-rushed, wrap-it-up-in-the-last-five-minutes ending? You know better. I'll tell you this, though - it may not be deep, but it ain't shallow. And it's the best royal movie we've had so far, despite the too much haste with information-giving in the beginning and with the title and, as you'll find out, a really bleh last line... and of course with him being king of Fossilville. (I'm not letting that go.)

You're going to love him, he's a doll and classy and darling the entire time. You're going to love her, she's self-assured and fun and mature and hard-working. And you're really going to love John the valet. We find ourselves at ratings time and, somewhat shockingly:

5/5 stars

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Past entries below

Winter Castle (people you’ve never heard of - Hallmark)

Holy shit, cliché on parade and nobody can act?! Jack-friggin’-pot. Zero chemistry amongst anyone, from family to friendship to romance?! Hot damn.

So they’re all at this place for a destination wedding (a.k.a, Selfish And Life-Disrupting And Huge Expense For Guests Thing And Oh Here’s Our Registry Too, come at me brah), and everyone is staying in a hotel. HA! KIDDING! They’re all in this giant faux igloo, and by “faux” I mean there are these church-esque doors in what is, I guess, a specially-flown-in iceberg on land. Google tells me it’s an actual place.

Anyway, through the doors you’ll find hallways (that have people carved into them, not creepy at all) which are lined with rooms. Suites? I never saw a bathroom door, doesn’t damn matter, nobody poos in Hallmark’s world. Oh, also, for lighting, we have Target pillar candles, then everything’s backlit in ‘80s neon:

Are they shitting me?

But that’s beside the point. Point is, it may be pretty to look at but in execution, it’s stupid. No way people haven’t had to peace out and find a new joint to stay in because of near or actual hypothermia. Based on the warm, cozy, wood-floored, windowed, staircase-and-balcony-having rehearsal dinner area in a large building with stone wall exterior, this hotel actually has some, y'know, hotel to it. Lodge? Who cares, but I bring it up because of the standard precocious child who is there to bring everybody together whilst turning into a popsicle.

The poor kid is bundled within an inch of her life, dumb bunny-eared toboggan to puffy jacket, and is burrito’d in a sleeping bag, with a quilt on this bed that looks to be carved out of ice, as well, and I say “as well” because our leading lady is shown frequently perched on what looks to be a chair carved out of ice (fur puffy thing for ass protection) with her laptop on a table carved out of ice when she’s face-timing her Not Gay Male Best Friend in a bow-tie and sweater vest back home, and - bonus! - he doubles as The One Person Of Color. Now, if memory serves, legit igloos made by actual First Nation(s) folks (meaning both Canadian and American - specifically, Alaskan - and probs any groups that found themselves in the way-way-North in the way-back-when and had to come up with this genius or, you know, die) are actually pretty damn warm once the fire gets cranking. Not to say you don’t keep some fierce socks and gloves on, that’s plain smart, but enclosed space with heat is enclosed space with heat - just don’t lick the walls. That’s good advice, igloo or otherwise.

On that topic, via the article linked above, says one of the actresses:

“It’s like an igloo,” Mullen told the Standard. “The further you go into the hotel, it gets colder and colder. As you walk down the hallway into the different rooms, it’s just getting into your bones.” She said every time they called “Cut!,” everyone would put on jackets to warm up.

She’s incorrect - that’s not like an igloo. It’s too big, that’s why it doesn’t stay warm. I have *zero* desire to go to this place. That sounds like Dante’s Frosty The Snowman circle of hell. I digress.

I say all that to say, this movie is straight dumb because the script is basic bitch, they were leaning on the location and hard. It gets a star because they tried in the sense that they did use a unique setting, but the rest was neglected (the story and the casting). Everything else was so blaaaaaand, and the acting was so stilted and unnatural, and they cast the mother with someone who looks the exact same age as the lead gal/her sister (the bride), and then there’s this one chick character who was so pathetically desperate, and the leading man was such a pussy who wouldn’t make a fucking decision, and they had our leading lady be all *sniffle* and tolerating that shit AND SHE JUST MET HIM BY THE WAY, and I just…. ugh.

1/5 stars

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Royal Matchmaker (Bethany Joy Lenz - Hallmark)

This isn’t an “official” Winter '19 jam, google tells me it’s from the '18 spring movies, but everybody’s bundled up, so I’m calling bullshit. It ain’t half-bad, despite the fact that it’s a “royal” one, who’d-a-thunk? There was one over Christmas that got a 4 (see link up top), and I never would’ve predicted it. But that was an oldie-goldie, this is now. This one has the traditional royal romance beats and, no shit, the sidekick is the same one from another “royal”, the absolutely horrid “Christmas At The Palace”, from Christmas ‘18. I cannot reiterate how bad that movie was - not ”My Christmas Love“ bad, but bad.

All right, so - she’s a matchmaker from NYC, which is at least a new take on what’s coming next - and you guessed it, a prince HAS to get married or some reason, even though it’s mentioned they are under a Parliamentary system and not a monarchy, but he still has to because it’s the 17th century, oh wait no it’s not. The king, who is from a random made-up locale (*sigh*) has hired her (and said partner) to find a suitable wife for his son, who’s presented as the typical eligible rich bachelor, and “presented as” is the key phrase. It’s one of the things I like about this plot, but it doesn’t outweigh the bleeeccchhh.

For one, it wears me out, the making-up of countries. It’s distracting. If you’re gonna do royalty, the right move is to have the royal not be a king/prince but make it a duke/duchess jam, refer to the locale vaguely as a duchy in England or Ireland or Scotland or Sweden or Norway or whatever Americans will fall for, 'cause as a rule, Americans aren’t typically hip to other countries’ jams. Hell, say someone is a prince/princess, but it’s more in inherited title only - that’s what the 4 from the Christmas list did right. Nobody called him “Prince Whatever”, he wasn’t presented as this hot commodity, it was a nothing burger, we didn’t even find out that he had the title til near the end of the movie. I’ve digressed, back to this flick.

I detest the royal garb they’ve got lead dude in at the conclusion, it looks like you or I waltzed into Party City and slapped down $30 and walked back to the set. It’s ill-tailored and in too-bright colors and is, again, something utterly distracting that could’ve been avoided, and same with the king’s, too-small jacket to too-long length of slacks. All the women, including our main gal, are in prom dresses straight off the rack from Sears and J.C. Penney’s. This is not praise. The men are all in identical rented tuxedos with clip bow-ties. Thanks, I hate it.

I mean, and I hate that there’s a ball at the end at all, but it goes hand-in-hand with the core premise, which is that they’re on a tight schedule - ol’ Bethany has 4 weeks. They, of course, fall in love with one another, and props to casting because these two look good together and have decent chemistry, but that could be because Lenz knocks these movies out of the park - this is the third… maybe the fourth… that I’ve seen with her - she elevates everything she’s in. When I mentioned her to a friend, I was told she also elevated some shitty TV show that I never watched, so perhaps you are already familiar with her.

Anyhow, once again there’s too much filler and the ending draaaaaaags and then BOOM it’s done in the last three minutes, which is standard for these movies (both Lifetime and Hallmark), I’d say, about 95% of the time. The story was good in that the prince wasn’t a typical playboy and he kept his philanthropic side a secret because he didn’t want press invading these small villages and whatever he was helping rebuild - he genuinely likes getting his hands dirty and he actually knows how to do shit, he fixes a radiator at a community center at one point. Eh. I dunno. It had such potential in the front half, then just shit the bed in the back half, so it was half of a waste of my time. But you may dig it. It’s far from the worst of Hallmark’s offerings but, again, I think it’s because of Lenz, she’s the only thing getting it up from a 1/5.

2/5 stars

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Oh… oh mah… what the… we interrupt the winter fare for what looks like a rando that’s snuck in and christ on a cracker, no. No. No. NO. The summary:

A woman begins an online relationship with a famous photographer, not realizing that she is actually communicating with the man’s young son.

This caught my ear because as I was sitting here writing up the last movie, it came on, and I hear this woman’s voice, her typing (so it’s her voice in her mind), then a man’s voice (as she’s reading), and I looked up when the man’s voice started switching to a kid’s (boy’s) voice back and forth every sentence or so - and then I looked at that summary, and….

NO

"Chance at Romance”, it’s called –> 0/5 stars, I don’t even need to watch it, what a stupid garbage fucking premise, and it’s gross, and I hope that shit kid gets punished, like as in, no computer til he’s old enough to own his own home and pay for his own internet, because scumbag kid. If he has the balls to pull this catfishing shitstorm on a fucking adult and gets away with it, what the fuck will he do to manipulate girls his own age? Gross. IT’S A GROSS PREMISE YOU GREETING CARD FUCKTARDS

.

Love On Ice (Andrew Walker, who’s in every fourth movie, and  the lead chick’s familiar her name is Julie Berman - Hallmark)

Former pro skater, now teaching - don’t worry, it’s not the aforementioned “Christmas At The Palace”, despite the similar M.O. - and decides to go for one last run at regionals because the new coach in town who’s teaching the next big thing is like “You used to be the next big thing, why don’t you undo eight years of not training aggressively in, like, a couple weeks and compete against the girl I’ve been hired to make a winner, and I’ll coach you both, because I have a boner for you and your shitty blonde extensions! No, that’s not what he says, but that’s the deal, yo. The next-big-thing’s got an overbearing mother and, once his boner gets found out, here comes a new coach that used to be the former-next-big-thing’s coach, and she’s a horrible actress, she can’t play sneaky-evil to save her life. I liked the two leads, and they did a better job than the other ice skating scenes/movies with concealing the real skater actors, but overall this was as boring as watching paint dry, I just wanted it to be over.

1/5 stars

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The Perfect Catch (Nikki DeLoach and… shock of all shocks, no not really… our old buddy, Andrew Walker - Hallmark)

I swear, I don’t know if Andrew Walker is on some mission from god, or being punished by him. I’m in the same boat, so I empathize. At least I’m not contracted. I can’t speak for him, but I remain happy for DHJ, that he’s escaped this purgatory, and is safe on the shore… at least, at present.

In any event, this one doesn’t seem like a "Winter official”, but there were jackets and no definite spring or fall standards (pastels or orange leaves), and it’s airing now, so here we are. It seems to be baseball season, so I know they mean for it to be spring, but they are wearing coat-coats, not it’s-still-kinda-chilly light jackets. I don’t fucking care, I watched it, so I’m reporting on it.

It ticks many boxes on the Winter Fanfic Bingo card (forthcoming), specifically the ones that are carryovers from Christmas and will be carried over to all the Hallmark/Lifetime movies regardless of time of year. Because being formulaic, when playing the long game, is cheap and efficient, and in the restaurant business, or products made on a factory line, or in healthcare standards, things of that ilk, you want streamlined coupled with the trieds-and-trues. In writing? Not-so-much. It’s lazy.

And speaking of restaurants, that’s the first box that got ticked - our leading lady owns a restaurant and, next box, it’s in danger of being lost. Other boxes include: our leading man is famous; he’s the character that comes back home, leaves/might leave, then changes mine/comes back, and it’s to stay!; adorable child who ideally will bring everyone together; a character’s parents are dead. Blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah. Blah-blaaaaah-blah-bleh. <—- that had more variety than this flick. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with this movie. It’s vanilla. It’s white bread. It’s mashed potatoes with no salt or a touch of sour cream mixed in, no loading with shredded sharp cheese and crumbled brown sugar-and-cracked-pepper bacon and the barest touch of chives. I’m hungry, shut up.

It doesn’t just get 1 star because it’s not bottom barrel - everyone’s competent in their acting, there’s nothing outlandishly stupid about the script, it’s not shellacked in Velveeta. I will say that they pull a little teensy, micro-twist with how they resolve his balancing a primo offer that in no way should he pass on career-wise fairly realistically. The very last scene is, of course, stupid and embarrassing.

2/5 stars

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The next movie has palm trees, so officially not Winter. But oof…. it’s got Kelly Rutherford and Cameron Mathison, both of whom are ringers. Hmmm. Yeah, I still ain’t subjecting myself to more than needed for this adventure. Oh, and they continue to play the basic-basic-BAAAAASIC-boring “Hope At Christmas” on Hallmark Movies and Mysteries", if you’re interested. It is a mystery to me as to why they continue to do so. Anyhow, there’s apparently 3 or 4 more brand spanking new offerings from Hallmark for the next several weeks.

More to come. I’ll reblog this with every new entry added to the top, so you can always just keep this post URL bookmarked if you think you missed it. Send an ask if you want to be tagged.

[farfromsugafanfic]

glitteringconstellations interview

Before we get started with the interview, do you mind introducing yourself (whatever name you are comfortable with) and telling us a little about yourself?

Hi everyone! I’m glitteringconstellations, Glitter or GC for short. I’ve been writing fanfiction for well over 15 years now, though I only started sharing it around 2005. I minored in Creative Writing in college and I love writing in pretty much any capacity! When I’m not headcanoning one new story or another, though, I’m either adulting (ugh, adulting) or playing video games. These days it’s mostly Skyrim. I’m fluent in Korean and passable in Japanese and Spanish. I drink way too much pop to be healthy and I hate most fruit (though, give me any kind of melon and I’ll be a happy girl). Oh, and I’m a fledgling figure skater! I’m just a hodgepodge of random hobbies haha!

Q1: What kind of fan fiction do you normally write? Have you ever written fan fiction for other fandoms other than your current one?

A1: I tend to gravitate toward angsty fics. It’s long been my outlet of frustration, to put the character I love in harm’s way. The more pain, the better, haha! Though I do love the hurt/comfort aspect of it. Recently (as in, the last year lmao) I’ve been writing for the Voltron fandom almost exclusively (and sometimes YURI!!! On Ice), but before that I was in the k-pop ficdom (Super Junior, for the most part) for a looooong time, nearly 10 years. I won’t be opening that particular can of worms, though--I have Feelings and Opinions lmao. Before that I jumped around from anime to anime.

Q2: I see in addition to fan fiction that you do commissioned fan art! I’m not an artist myself, so I find it really interesting and cool. Do you want to talk a bit about that? And, feel free to plug yourself!

A2: This is actually a common misconception--I can’t draw to save my life!! I took commissions for fan fiction back in late June as a last resort to pay my rent. Typically though I’m horrible on a deadline so I don’t like to do it too often because I feel terrible making my commissioners wait. The art you’re referring to is the comic spread for The Parting Glass, if I’m not mistaken? I actually commissioned another artist by the name of Cota (@ccooooostuff on tumblr, go check her out she’s amazing at what she does and super sweet!) for that comic with the money I got for my birthday this year.

Q3: Do you write anything outside of fan fiction?

A3: I do! I journal a lot, or I try to anyway. This year I’m hoping to tackle an original novel for Nanowrimo, but more than likely, that particular project will start as fanfiction and we’ll see if I turn it into original fiction or not. I spend more time thinking about the things I want to write than… actually… writing them lolsob. My notes will be this gigantic document but when it comes to putting things together in a cohesive manner? Haaaaaa….haha…. The blinking cursor mocks me, I swear.

Q4: I see on your profile that you are 26. I think when most people think of fan fiction writers they think of someone younger, usually a teenager. Do you encounter younger writers a lot? What do you think of this assumption?

A4: I do encounter younger writers a lot! Surprisingly, though, most writers I know are either in their late 20s or late late teens (say, 15~19). Most people tend to think I’m young anyway just because I look a lot younger than 26, but as far as fandom goes, it doesn’t really bother me if people think I’m younger than I am. Usually I’m pretty forward with how old I am on my profile anyway! But yeah, I’ve been around the fanfiction scene a while. The k-pop fandom in particular had a way of reminding me just how long on a pretty frequent basis lol.

Q5: Why did you begin writing fan fiction? If it was for a fandom, why did that particular thing make you begin writing? And, for your current fandoms?

A5: I used to tell myself stories to get to sleep or on long car trips as far back as I can remember, and most of the time they involved characters from my favorite shows of the day. Pokemon and Digimon were two big ones for me before I hit those fun preteen years. As far as what got me started actually putting those stories to paper, it was born of frustration with shows not going the way I wanted them to, so I’d write the ending I wanted to see. For Voltron in particular, it’s just SUCH a fun sandbox to play in, be it by utilizing the incredible world-building or the plethora of interesting characters to play around with. So many possibilities! *3*

Q6: Do you ever want to be published in a professional capacity one day?

A6: Yes and no. I flip flop on this ALL the time. I’d LOVE to see my stories on shelves, but I’m actually very insecure and sometimes the thought of people reading my stories makes me want to die of embarrassment and sink to the center of the earth. That said, if I win Nano this year, I may run it by some publishers, even if only to get feedback. (Although if you want to get TECHNICAL I am officially a published journalist; I was an assistant editor for one of The Big 3 kpop news sites for a while. The one that starts with S. Also another can of worms.)

Q7: Has writing fan fiction taught you anything? About writing? Reading? The fandom? Etc.

A7: Oh absolutely. I definitely would not be the writer I am today without fan fiction. I wouldn’t say I’m super skilled, but the critique I’ve received over the years has helped me more than I have words for, honestly. Not even just in the capacity of writing fiction; my academic and professional writing has improved too. Also, just like reading anything in high volume, reading fanfic has helped me learn to read like a writer, how to pick out things that authors do that I admire and try to emulate that, and conversely what doesn’t work for me so I can avoid those things.

As far as fandom goes, fanfiction can be quite polarizing, as I’m sure you’re well aware. Just in my experience by and large it can be kind of toxic, to be quite honest. The particular issue Voltron faces that I experienced to some extent in other fandoms but not quite to this degree, is fandom policing. I find that certain members of the fandom (which, in my experience, tends to actually be mostly among those younger demographics, though not exclusively so) see certain topics as morally wrong and therefore anyone who writes those topics are 1) romanticizing said topic and 2) automatically a disgusting, horrible person and they have no problems telling you about all about it. The number one thing I try to put out there in my interactions is live and let live, ship and let ship. If it makes you uncomfortable, that’s okay! But that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s wrong, and it’s definitely not okay to go around purporting hate in the name of “morality.” Sorry, didn’t mean to go off on a tangent there haha...

Q8: What is a piece you’ve written that you’re most proud of?

A8: Just in the Voltron fandom, I’d say the fic I’m most proud of is The Parting Glass, by far. Funny story about that one; I’d never heard the titular song before I came across a cover of it on Facebook one day around St. Patrick’s Day, and let me tell you something. The reaction I had was almost a spiritual experience, it was so visceral. I was in tears when I heard it, and the story came so hard and so fast that I wrote it in 2 days. It stayed with me until I got it down in writing. It was an interesting challenge for me, exploring the grief part of a character death fic while almost entirely omitting the actual dying part. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had such a vivid vision of exactly how a fic is going to go from start to finish and I’m quite happy with the way it turned out. Which is why, when I had the money to do so, I commissioned Cota to illustrate what had to be the hardest and yet my favorite part to write. She brought the scene to life so beautifully too, I’m really happy with how it turned out. Months later I still go back and stare at it!

Q9: Do you notice any stigma surrounding fan fiction or fan fiction writers?

A9: Without a doubt. People hear “fanfiction” and they think one of two things: the pudgy neckbeard who lives in his parents’ basement, or the rabid tween/teenage fangirl. It’s a rather unfortunate stereotype, because some works of fanfiction are truly works of art, more masterfully crafted than some novels I’ve seen published. Yet they get dismissed simply on the basis of being fanworks and not “original” (which, let’s be real, nothing is truly original anymore). One such example that comes to mind of a beautiful fic is those glittering instruments in the EXO fandom, which was based on the real-life destruction of the Library of Alexandria. If you can find a copy of it floating around the interwebs I HIGHLY recommend giving it a chance no matter what fandom you’re in!

Q10: If so, how do you feel about this stigma?

A10: Like I said, it’s really a shame. The thing, too, is that as young girls we’re often shamed for the things we’re passionate about, like boy bands and, well, fan fiction, while boys don’t get that kind of shame to such an intense degree (at least, not about the usual suspects, like sports and girls and such). Not to say that it doesn’t happen, but there’s something terribly sad about seeing more young people afraid to talk about a hobby that makes them happy because they’re afraid of being perceived as weird or gross or something like that. Hell, even to this day I have very few friends from outside the fandom sphere that know I write fanfiction, because they still talk bad and make mean jokes about fic writers. It’s such a silly thing, because a lot of famous works are derivative fiction and people don’t even realize it! So I hope the day comes soon that we can get over this silly stigma and just enjoy what people share (for free!! Seriously!! FULL NOVEL LENGTH WORKS. For FREE.)

Q11: Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to talk about or be asked that no one has asked you about or given you the opportunity to talk about? (And if so, feel free to answer/talk about it).

A11: I really had to think about this one! I couldn’t really pick one topic that I’ve really wanted to talk about that I haven’t already discussed, but no one has ever asked me if I was okay with having fanart of my work. Which I would answer with a resounding YES. I am more than okay with it QuQ

Oh, I guess I do have something!! It’s unrelated to writing (well, I guess it could be related, depending on how you look at it) but since I have your attention, if you’re an American citizen GO OUT AND VOTE. The midterm elections are one week from today in the USA and it’s important you go vote!! I won’t tell you who to vote for (a third can of worms I’m not opening up. WHY DO I HAVE SO MANY WORMS) but I assure you, your vote matters, now more than ever. I believe in you!! Go vote!!!

Q12: What is your prefered site for writing/posting fan fiction?

A12: These days I prefer to use AO3. It’s a work in progress, but it’s far and away the superior fic platform of the time. Back in ye olden days (circa 2010~2012) Livejournal was my platform of choice, and FF.net before that. A surprising number of people prefer to post their fic on tumblr, to which I say, are you out of your flipping MIND?!?! Tumblr is soooo temperamental, I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to restart a post or go into the HTML editor because the rich text editor decided to be stupid. Noooooo thank you. I’ll stick to AO3 thanks ahaha!

Check out Glitter’s Tumblr and AO3.

Interviewer Note: Glitter used her free question to encourage everyone to vote and I would just like to stress the importance of this, especially if live in the US. Young people are the demographic that votes the least, despite being the demographic that will have to live the longest with the outcome of the vote. If you are currently not registered, please register as it is important for all of our futures. And, remember the deadline for the upcoming US election is Nov. 6th, so make sure to get to those polls and/or turn/send in your ballot. If you need information on how to do any of these things, do not hesitate to reach out to my page and I will point you to trustworthy resources. 

[joannalannister]

hey lady joanna, i'm not sure if it was u or someone else who posted this, but Ive found a pie chart of the asoiaf characters that r most popular in fan fic, and sansa was number one (and i think arya was a close 2nd?? cant remember properly). Do you know why this is? I've been reading a bit of fanfic recently, and ive also found that sansa seems to be the most shipped, and written about character.

Why do people write any fanfiction, about any character? 

We write because we love it. We write because we must. I think a huge part of what makes fan fiction so singularly special is that there is no ambition in it, only passion. [x]

We all wrestle with feelings and we can recognize them in stories when we see them. We don’t need for them to be sanctioned. It doesn’t matter what the writer intended, or what the artists intended. […] One of the most radical things I tell myself about the media I consume is: fuck canon. [x]

More often than not, people write fanfiction to explore ideas that are harder to explore on their own. Themes of sexuality, queer characters, and other problems of young people that most mainstream stories barely glimpse at are laid out in full force. Are all fanfictions hugely creative stories that need to be told? Not necessarily. In fact, probably not. By their very nature they are ancillary. But if these are stories our young people are telling, and en masse as well, critics should learn to be less dismissive of them. Because the stories we tell as children lay the cornerstones of the stories we tell as adults. No matter how grammar-less and outlandish they may be. [x]

What is scary about transformative fandom is that it’s a place where young women love their media without reservation, and where they can make stories for themselves. That’s why as a culture we’ve decided that transformative fandom is weird and gross and morally wrong, and that’s why all the articles in the world explaining that transformative fandom is a totally legitimate way to interact with a text aren’t really making a dent in the never-ending stream of repulsed investigations of fandom. Because fandom is the province of young women and, culturally, we find young women terrifying. [x]

Sometimes Canon is Broken and I Need to Fix It. Anyone who is a fan of … well, anything, knows that there are certain moments when you’re reading along or watching a series or movie when you stop and shout, “Wait! What?” (one word: midiclorians) Sometimes when that’s happened I feel the desire to “fix” canon by writing my own version of “the truth” (known as ‘head canon’ or, if it gets widely accepted, ‘fanon,’ which is an abbreviated word for ‘fan canon.’) Also, people like myself write fanfic because the story they’re involved in is, on some level, really important to them. Characters become more than just fiction and what happens to them becomes very personal. The world becomes very real, and you start to want to explore every single nook and cranny, especially where you sense an inconsistency—something that makes you want to fill in the gaps. So, there are big and little “fixes” that call to fan writers. [x]

And why do people read fanfiction?

But every so often I find a fanfic I can’t keep my eyes off.  It might capture the feeling of the original source, or attack the premise from an interesting and new point of view.  I get to see my favorite characters come back to life through the power of words.  The puppeteer might be different, but, in the best fics, anyway, my beloved puppets are back and better than ever. [x]

Fanfiction is born of love, from both the writers and the readers. And the Stark sisters are widely loved. People naturally want more of these girls’ stories, to visit them again, to hear their voices again, to recapture whatever resonated with them the first time around. 

Regarding Sansa in particular … well, we haven’t had a book published with a Sansa pov in it since AFFC was published in 2005. 

(I do not count snippets from the still unpublished TWOW.) 

(2005 was a loooong time ago. I had a flip phone in 2005.) 

People want more content with Sansa so they’re making it themselves. 

Also, a lot of fanfiction is about shipping, and Sansa is very shippable. One of the central questions of Sansa’s narrative is who she will marry, from the very beginning of AGOT. GRRM teases so many possibilities for a potential partner for Sansa (some more likely than others), and people latch on to these various possibilities and generate a lot of fic for the things they love. Great fandom debates rage around who Sansa will ultimately be married to (assuming she marries) at the end of the series. Most (most!) people want Sansa to be happy in the end, but everyone (everyone!!) has different ideas about what (or who) would make Sansa happy.

And sometimes people don’t care about the endgame, they just want to explore vibrant alternate universes, since the ASOIAF canon has come to a standstill. For example, what would have happened to Sansa if Robert had never come to Winterfell? Personally I don’t particularly like alternate universes (most of the time), but lots of other people do, and they like exploring them in fic. 

And sometimes fanfiction isn’t even about the roads not taken in canon, it’s about the roads GRRM would never take, because LBR, he’s an old Baby Boomer. Fanfiction offers stories that aren’t necessarily heteronormative. 

Sansa is a fandom bicycle. She resonates with a lot of people. Sansa’s own story parallels the meta**-narrative disillusionment of the reader, but instead of a bitter awakening, it’s a hopeful one, because ASOIAF is a story about hope despite the darkness. (If you want to read more about this topic, @poorquentyn and @nobodysuspectsthebutterfly have spoken about this at length.)

**I don’t mean “meta” the way fandom uses this word to mean “literary criticism & analysis”. I mean “meta” in terms of being self-referential, or from a perspective above the work itself. GRRM is writing a fantasy story, but his fantasy story is about fantasy (the genre). 

So this resonance, this ~reader avatar~ quality - it makes people want to explore the world with Sansa even more, and so they write fic. 

You might want to pose this question to someone who writes a lot of Sansa fic tho, to get a better answer, because I don’t write a lot of Sansa fic. (I’ve written some, but not very much, and not often.) I typically like … darker … themes in the fanfiction I write. One of the fanfic stories I’ve been telling to myself (and only myself) for over twenty years would have the Purity Police up in arms. I’m so glad tumblr didn’t exist when I was a child cuz y’all would’ve fucked me up. This website isn’t healthy.