#lannister thoughts

[chickren]

the lannister sibs are the horniest characters in the series, except they’re all horny for love not sex but none of them understand the difference between the two

[cynicalclassicist]

Yeh, GRRM isn't really one for genetic reality, see the whole Baratheon and Lannister hair thing, which really isn't how genetics works. But it works as a character piece. And that is what he is writing.

sometimes I wonder what Jaime and Cersei's relationship would be like if they knew they were fraternal twins. like that in the womb they were in two separate amniotic sacs and could not have physically touched and that they came from two completely different eggs and sperm (also I'm not a doctor but it seems impossible that Jaime could've been holding Cersei's foot if they were fraternal). how would Cersei's feel if she knew that she was as genetically similar to Tyrion as she was to Jaime?

He could never bear to be long apart from his twin. Even as children, they would creep into each other’s beds and sleep with their arms entwined. Even in the womb. –Jaime III, ASOS

I’m not sure that Jaime’s wrong though? Here’s a very sad story with ultrasound pictures of boy-girl fraternal twins holding hands in the womb. (Don’t click the link if you aren’t prepared for SADNESS.) The doctor in that news article says that most twins in ultrasounds are seen kicking/hitting each other, and obviously Westeros doesn’t have ultrasounds and no one really knows if Jaime and Cersei embraced in utero but it is suggestive of the very strong bond between them. 

Regarding Jaime holding Cersei’s foot, it’s almost certainly a reference to the Biblical story of Jacob and Esau, who were probably fraternal twins. If fraternal twins can hold hands in the womb, I don’t think it’s impossible one fraternal twin can hold the other’s foot during birth? Perhaps someone more knowledgable in obstetrics could weigh in here? 

There’s also a way for boy-girl twins to be monozygotic. The resulting characteristics of the girl twin (short stature, underdeveloped ovaries) clearly don’t apply to Cersei, but we’re assuming that genetics works the same way on Terros as it does in real life, which may not be a correct assumption. GRRM has already defied the laws of genetics, so if he wanted Jaime and Cersei to be monozygotic and Cersei’s phenotype to remain unchanged from how we know her, that’s a lot more believable than the Targ dragon mutation. There might be something poetic to Terros genetics having Cersei losing a Y chromosome in utero and thus losing everything she would otherwise have if she were born male. Such a small thing to lose a kingdom over. 

sometimes I wonder what Jaime and Cersei’s relationship would be like if they knew they were fraternal twins. 

I really don’t think this would change anything. It’s this mindset:

“Both.” She did not flinch from the truth. “Since we were children together. And why not? The Targaryens wed brother to sister for three hundred years, to keep the bloodlines pure. And Jaime and I are more than brother and sister. We are one person in two bodies. We shared a womb together. [Womb = uterus = Jaime and Cersei definitely shared it] He came into this world holding my foot, our old maester said. When he is in me, I feel … whole.“ 

And this fact:

And he smiled at your birth, Jaime, I saw that with mine own eyes. You and Cersei, pink and perfect, as alike as two peas in a pod … well, except between the legs. 

Those matter much, much more to Jaime and Cersei’s relationship than whether they shared an amniotic sac or not. 

how would Cersei’s feel if she knew that she was as genetically similar to Tyrion as she was to Jaime?

Denial, probably, much the same way Tywin tries to deny a strong connection to Tyrion. If genetics actually mattered in Westeros, Cersei would probably be very relieved on some level if she could distance herself genetically from her dwarf brother and blame Tyrion’s appearance on Aerys and “exonerate” her father. (Another reason A+J=T is not happening.) 

Overall I think the main takeaway here is not to try too hard with the science and focus more on ASOIAF as a character-driven narrative, how Jaime and Cersei were identical except for their sex, and how they’ve had a very strong bond between them, one that they both believe existed since before they were born and how that bond is changing/dissolving over AGOT - ADWD and beyond. 

[resqectable]

Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

Tyrion Lannister

[thekeytothenorth]

bad asoiaf spin-off ideas

• robert baratheon’s small council in the style of parks and recreation

• lannister family sitcom in the style of arrested development

• hot pie in harrenhal in the style of the bear

[ghostinwinterfell]

can you imagine how catelyn felt when she heard “jaime lannister sends his regards” right before watching robb die. she literally freed jaime behind robb’s back and put her faith in a known enemy, hoping that it would save her daughters—only to die thinking that jaime had a hand in her son’s death. lady stoneheart doesn’t just want vengeance against jaime, she believes that SHE is partially to blame for the murder of her last child. catelyn stark blamed herself for her family’s ruin, and lady stoneheart carries that same crippling guilt with her.

[sad-endings-suck]

“But he’s done evil things!”

Yes, that’s why he’s so dear to me.

[spacerockfloater]

Ryan Condal choosing the necessary plotlines that HOTD must include:

Nettles ✗

Maelor ✗

The Greens loving one another ✗

Rhaenyra being cruel ✗

A whole bunch of other important shit ✗

Tyland Lannister being a sperm donor for a polygamous woman and her concubines (which slay, but priorities?) ✓

[thehopefulquotes]

Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

Tyrion Lannister

[malleefies]

cersei + qyburn as that one princess celestia meme

[perfectquote]

Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

Tyrion Lannister

[melrosing]

thinking about how lancel, in trying to become Jaime, actually kind of did! he was manipulated into a role too big for him to truly reckon with, got lost in the corruption of court, became a pawn for powers greater than himself, and in finally wresting himself from those hands he simply sank deeper into his own trauma and turned his back on everything else just to wallow in it all. in fact I think loras and lancel are the past selves that kind of book end Jaime’s arc that spans his return to KL in ASOS and his travels through the Riverlands in AFFC. Loras is kind of a flattering projection of self: he’s strong, beautiful, as good as he thinks he is and sure of himself. Lancel, on the other end of his trials, is essentially the opposite. he’s weak, cowed, tormented and terrified. but they both make up the person Jaime was on that bridge from boyhood to manhood and he has to reckon w both to truly grow from them

[cola-fiend]

“The Myrish woman was too beautiful by half; long-legged and full-breasted, with smooth olive skin, ripe lips, huge dark eyes, and thick black hair that always looked as if she'd just come from bed. She even smells of sin, like some exotic lotus.”

Rereading Cersei chapters and damn was she under Taena’s spell 😳😳😳

[prclnivrstl]

and another thing actually,

jaime is just an endless cycle of dreaming that life could be like the songs, having his dreams crushed, and then dreaming that maybe life actually could be like the songs anyway.

he spends his childhood dreaming of being a legendary knight and within two months of becoming a knight at 15 he ends up alone in king's landing at the behest of a psychopath rapist who burns people to death for funzies.

despite this, he is still always striving to be the perfect honourable knight but does struggle because all of his oaths are constantly contradicting each other.

protect the king and your sister - the king is raping and beating your sister

obey your father obey the king - the king wants you to go behead your father

protect the king and the innocent - the king has ordered the destruction of an entire city full of innocent people

it goes on and on but he never gives up trying to be that ideal knight he dreams of. even while disillusioned and even when people constantly misinterpret his actions and assume the worst of his motivations.

he names his sword oathkeeper and gives it to brienne so that she can protect sansa stark with the remnants of her father's blade

he works hard to learn to fight again with his left hand and fantasizes about being called 'goldenhand the just'

when given the choice between retirement as the lord of casterly rock, and continuing to serve in the kingsguard, he chooses to continue serving in the kingsguard

he says sansa stark is his last chance of honour and then drops everything when offered the chance to go save her

[venusbyline]

My first time sending an ask. Do you have headcanons about how your asoiaf faves keep their pubes?

~ 🐞

HEADCANON: How my ASOIAF favorite male characters keep their pubic hairs

PRE-HOTD, HOTD & GOT VERSIONS

(this includes Maegor I Targaryen, Baelon Targaryen, Aemond Targaryen, Aegon II Targaryen, Jaime Lannister, Ned Stark)

— type: smut, light dark (Aegon's part)

— tags/warnings: oral sex mentioned, deepthroating mentioned, kinda sadist!Aegon II Targaryen, canon divergence (?). english is not my first language.

— author's note¹: Anon, tysm for your ask 💕💕 I loved to write these headcanons hahahah btw, I felt free to write them based on what I imagine, so I'm not taking the shows too much into consideration...

— author's note²: This is the male characters version, but I'm thinking about write one of these about HOTD female characters too 🤔🤔 or at least a random hc about their boobs anyway lmaooo sorry I'm so gay for them 😭😭

❥ ASOIAF headcanons • HOTD masterlist • Game of Thrones masterlist

❥ about me • main masterlist

𝐏𝐑𝐄-𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍

Maegor I Targaryen

• I don't think Maegor cares about that at all. He definitely has a lot of golden hairs there and doesn't mind trimming them.

• Sometimes it could be kinda uncomfortable to give him a head, but despite everything I thought it's sexy anyway. I think it's something that perfectly matches Maegor's look and personality, since he's a big and tough man...

•‌ If you don't like pubes, so it wouldn't be very pleasurable for you to have sex with Maegor, at least if he wanted you to suck his cock. But if you like them or at least don't mind the amount, Maegor would be quite a good fuck.

Baelon Targaryen (Son of Jaehaerys I)

•‌ In my opinion, Baelon doesn't have much pubic hair on his groin. I can see him as the type of man who definitely trims it often.

•‌ Actually, I think he not only keeps them short, but he also prefers to keep his groin completely "clean", without any hair there.

•‌ I know that hair and pubes aren't always with the same color. Anyway, I guess Baelon has pubes with a color similar to Maegor's, for example... more golden than silver.

𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍

Aemond Targaryen

•‌ Aemond keeps some hair there, but they're always very well trimmed. He doesn't like to shave them off completely so often... at the same time he also thinks it would be disgusting to have them too long.

‌• His pubes are light brown, not too dark, but not golden or silver either. Maybe it's because of the Hightower bloodline? I don't know.

•‌ In my opinion, Aemond didn't care so much about trimming his pubes during the Dance of the Dragons, but before the war he focused a lot on keeping them short, clean and kinda pretty too.

Aegon II Targaryen

•‌ Like Maegor, I think Aegon keeps a lot of hair there. He lets them grow, both because he's too nonchalant to trimming them, and also because he enjoys watching the whores choking on them when they're deepthroating his cock.

• His pubes are lighter than Aemond's, sometimes even looking kinda golden.

•‌ When Aegon was a teenager, he liked to trim them because he thought he looked hot that way. As he grew older, he began to get lazier and enjoy the women's discomfort during the oral sex.

𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒

Jaime Lannister

•‌ Jaime is one of the few characters in GOT that I truly believe keeps his pubic hair almost non-existent, at least before the War of the Five Kings.

•‌ Before, he kept his blond curls very short, the pubes' color matching with his hair's. Both during and after the War of the Five Kings, he didn't even have enough time to worry about them, so he just let them grow.

•‌ I personally like these two versions, but I think Jaime with short pubes is sexier...

Ned Stark

•‌ My main headcanon about Starks' pubes is that almost all of them have a lot of curly pubes, always brown or black. Ned is a good example of that.

•‌ Probably Ned's are brown and he kept them shorter when he was younger, letting them grow longer when he got older. ���

• Anyway, I think it suits him and I genuinely find it very sexy and dilf too.

[quotefeeling]

Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you.

Tyrion Lannister

[alaynasansa]

Why do fans keep acting like Rhaenyra and Cersei are in the same situation ?

Cersei's children aren't Robert's, the ruling monarch

Rhaenyra's children aren't Laenor's, the consort

Rhaenyra is the legitimate heir and Jace, Luke and Joffrey are her biological kids

Robert didn't know about Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen

Laenor actively knew that Rhaenyra had chosen Harwin as the biological father of their children and agreed

Corlys and Rhaenys knew and loved the Velaryon boys and acknowledged them as their grandsons