#Stop Windows 10

[chamerionwrites]

Honestly this gets at my chiefest complaint/frustration/discomfort with fandom as a whole. Which is: in their rush to defend the artistic merit of fanworks I think a ton of people have really valorized transformation and remixing and reinterpretation in and of themselves, when imo those are all quite neutral actions. When done well, they can expand and build upon and subvert meaning in really powerful and thought-provoking (and fun!) ways. When done poorly, they are just as likely to flatten and oversimplify and decontextualize and completely erase meaning. The simple act of changing something does not imbue the choice to do so with creative validity. It is entirely possible for a cover song to be bad (or just boring!). To exactly the same degree that it is possible to transform a pretty shallow and straightforward work into something deeper and more nuanced and subversive, is possible to transform a work into a vastly shallower and less interesting shadow of itself. As with nearly everything in art, it's all about the execution!

But the second you voice this position (which should honestly be a pretty uncontroversial one imo), you get people shrieking at you about being gatekeep-y and pretentious and betraying the sacred fandom etiquette of Don't-Like-Don't-Read.

And like...listen. I was not raised in a barn. I am 150% capable of quietly back-buttoning out of a fanfic I think is bad or boring - which is exactly what I do when I encounter them - and I am obviously not advocating for stupid ships wars or any kind of harassment or leaving hatemail in people's AO3 inboxes. (Which some people will also accuse you of the second you say anything less than lavishly positive about fandom, in true piss-on-the-poor fashion.) Literally all I am saying is that you can't have your cake and eat it too - that if fandom and fanworks (in the broadest sense) have artistic merit then fandom and fanworks (in the broadest sense) are fair game for artistic critique. Which means, in practice, that I can go on my own blog and make a post exactly like this one - critiquing broad trends, or stating that some interpretations are bad actually, or pointing out that subverting or talking back to or reading against the grain of canon is very different from simply ignoring it, or saying "fandom's culture of collage/remix/fuck-canon-I-do-what-I-want can lend itself to to really creative and interesting art but also to a lot of really bland homogenized cut-n-paste art, not to mention some pretty troubling decontextualization." And that if you feel this rains on your personal parade, you are then free to DLDR by back-buttoning out of my blog and/or blocking me so you never have to see my hot takes again, rather than clamoring in my notes about how I should let people enjoy things.

[your-unfriendlyghost]

Look Ik hot weather is terrible, but holy hell I love the summer

I love you hot, sticky weather and carnivals, I love you rollercoasters, I love you ferris wheels. And oh my god, beaches, don’t even get me started on beaches- I love you white-sand covered, crowded SoCal beaches. I love you palm trees and peachy sunsets. I love you Long Beach and Redondo, I love you Santa Monica Pier. I love you rocky Pacific Northwest coastlines, I love you Seaside, I love you Astoria, I love you San Juan Islands, I love you Port Angeles. And Northern California- oh sure Santa Cruz is gentrified to hell and back, but Lordy the boardwalk still looks amazing as ever, with the neon lights and rides and raging waters. I love you surfing and surf shops with shitty mood necklaces and stoner cashiers. I love the way the light reflects off of those sparkly suncatchers in the windows of glass blowing studios. I love you statues of mermaids and candy striped retro diners. I love you ships-in-bottles, I love you spyglasses and anchors. I love you sailor tattoos and square-rigged knots. I love you fishing lures with big silly eyes. I love wandering through the remains of one of those sandcastle competitions. I love shipwrecks in the sand. I love boardwalks and fishing piers and the smell of fish and salt. I love the awful briney taste my mouth gets from hours in the water. I love you seagulls. I love you fishermen in yellow raincoats. I love hot sunny beaches, I love stormy dark beaches. I love you small coastal towns

I love you sm Pacific Coast summertime

[call-me-copycat]

Every time I try to cool down my room by opening my window, my neighbors next to me start smoking outside :⁠-⁠\

It makes me so nauseous (⁠T^⁠T⁠)

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[moonilit]

“Let me kill him” 

“Starfire I have spent 10 hours carefully crafting this genius plan, im not going to let you just kill him”

[natjennie]

hq: why did you send 8 separate requests for tanks, you don't need tanks

cap: havers was 90% of my impulse control.

[ncttcday]

absolutely hate my dad atm

[elliwoods]

>new shitty discord mobile ui

>new shitty tumblr mobile ui

>new shitty youtube desktop ui

And none of them have options to go back to the old layouts!

[thatone-churro]

chat i am NOT appreciating the stares i got from walking across campus to cvs in my hoodie and sweatpants as if we didn’t just sit through ANOTHER hurricane like chill man i didn’t sleep well let me get my monster to finish my logic homework in peace 😭

[albatris]

should I upgrade to windows 11

[pardonmydelays]

just had a mental breakdown at the end of vessel's 10th anniversary stream cause. truce

[minglana]

just this emoji panel is making me wanna uninstall windows completely tbh

[newtness532]

it's fine, we only have to wait 177 days until we get to see the total lunar eclipse

[quilleth]

*hissing like a goose* I stg Microsoft if you are trying to install windows 11 on my work computer I will end you. It works fine leave it alone!

[mumblingsage]

Circling back in a less snarly, more desperate tone: how difficult to use are LibreOffice's equivalents to Tracked Changes and Comments?

[whisperofthewaves]

my father is very into healthy diet and vitamin supplements, but he's also very proselytising about it to the point that whenever I complained of being tired in recent years he'd immediately jump on my case telling me how I'm definitely vitamin D defficient and that I propably also don't have enough iron in my system yada yada and also all the unealthy things I probably eat-- it would go on and on.

and now I am fuming, bc I got my blood test results and LITERALLY my vitD is TWO points below the norm while my iron is THREE.