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heyitsyn · 4 years

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White Carnation

Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing

huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista

anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi

ong this finna be painful

its always been the three of you

with living across the oikawas came great perks

even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime

hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug

iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

yep thats really how it went

and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(

while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside

you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun

iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets

they liked you because you were like them

you were like one of the bois

but that kinda hurt you in the future

as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things

like you started to have crushes

specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime

thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister

but unfortunately, iwa did too

every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you

‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’

was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats

tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt

‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’

no, they werent old

they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented

but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute

your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him

your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you

‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’

god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead

why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?

‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’

oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you

‘she looks the same’

he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips

‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’

oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room

he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain

‘what the-’

‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’

he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side

‘OI KUSOKA-’

‘so whos winning?’

your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees

your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago

there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen

‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’

he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look

‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’

thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down

‘haji-kun, im fine’

you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off

now iwa was confused

you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over

not frown and act so coldly

‘oi, y/n, what-’

‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’

oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise

he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions

‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’

omg oikawa is a real one 🥺

oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded

‘uh-eung! yea!’

that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing

except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him

ofc iwa was a loyal friend

he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything

tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!

it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other

maybe thats why,,,

he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between

maybe thats why,,,

he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him

maybe thats why,,,

he was no longer your friend

iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall

it happened around the 2nd year of middle school

you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant

basically strangers

the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough

he was no longer him

before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa

like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru

you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns

you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped

because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was

he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl

even if that girl,,,

was you

thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen

your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this

you think he didnt know?

you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?

you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?

and oikawa was also worried

he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much

he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you

but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(

he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts

one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away

no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand

‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’

god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence

you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way

anyways

you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen

but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you

your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food

iwa wasnt surprised

he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house

it all makes sense

BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

‘h-how are you’

he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit

you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary

‘oh, now you see me?’

you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said

he winced

‘listen, im-’

‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows

you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing

‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’

you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie

‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’

i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time

he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him

‘kay kay’

you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go

you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body

all while iwa was watching

maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost a year

so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine

but yea he definitely forgot your smile

he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that

god he hated it

but no, he was doing this for tooru

he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him

but dear god why did it hurt

iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice

he could easily handle you two dating

right?

maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you

the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you

you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair

no that wasnt you

you were different

you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants

you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too

you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability

god you were so different

what if you liked him instead?

iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice

tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy

iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation

you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room

oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa

‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’

he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you

but you did and lordie did you hate it

from then on,,,

iwa was just seeing you everywhere

iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside

he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes

those moments made him laugh

the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice

oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him

you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that

YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER

so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name

his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door

‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’

he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you

‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’

you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout

iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle

if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him

he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach

but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries

oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime

your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors

unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone

‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’

after that

iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him

bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?

literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?

what kinda unfairness-

but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore

that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class

thats totally not creepy iwa lol

he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions

but the worst was when he got caught

you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back

it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together

iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with

can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks

oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around

poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?

like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features

how was that possible?

‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’

he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes

‘hm?’

‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’

oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement

but makki chuckled and leaned in

‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′

okay iwa was angry

was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?

was it because you were part of this list?

was it because his own friend said you were pretty?

why did he even care anyways?!

oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more

‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’

the meme duo shared a confused look

‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’

oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two

so he did an oikawa move

‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’

okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch

iwa shook

you,,, had a what on who?!

a crush on him?!

is he the brute?!

so it wasnt oikawa?

it was to him?

then why did you act like that?

why did you both act like that?

‘what’

iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze

‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’

iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair

your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately

‘what the hell do you want’

you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back

‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’

his meek voice made you look up in confusion

‘what are you talking-’

‘you chose me instead him’

then it was like a click that you realized what he said

‘how did you know’

‘i-i’

he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat

the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks

OH GOD HE TOLD HIM

after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy

‘how could you?! why did you tell-’

‘lets talk, y/n? please?’

iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away

oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,

‘get your girl’

the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now

no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side

‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’

you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes

‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’

he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff

‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’

‘hey y/n lets date’

you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped

‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’

you shrieked

‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’

iwa did the only thing he thought of

he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips

he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way

and it worked

bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy

you was the whole range of emotions in one second

‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’

iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again

tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl

‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’

you seethed when you pulled away

but iwa held your hands

‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’

and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him

but iwa also

during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked

‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’

you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt

he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere

‘please accept me, y/n!’

he shouted while holding out the single white carnation

your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly

‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’

you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process

you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’

of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both

like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future

‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’

you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars

‘gojira’

he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest

‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’

iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them

‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’

you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport

‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’

you pouted

iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head

‘oi, y/n’

he started and you looked at him

‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’

you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile

‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’

iwa’s face contorted to disgust

‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’

‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’

your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING

like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up

you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands

like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast

‘ew, its the settling down for me’

‘its the flatness of the ass for me’

you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml

you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year

as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position

like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’

you smiled and blinked confusingly

‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’

he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows

‘baka, stop calling me that’

you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest

‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’

you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk

‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’

you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him

iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing

‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’

‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’

‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’

‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’

sure enough you were at the gym after school

the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job

ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants

the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-

‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’

you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well

the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building

‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’

‘shes so pretty’

‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’

yea you get the gist

the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him

‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’

you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately

‘why else do you think i offered it brat’

oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out

‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’

but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic

you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way

in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??

like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come

one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together

he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking

and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring

he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine

but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused

like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out

‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’

you blinked and shook your head

‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’

more important things?!

more important than showering you with love?

more important than even spending a second with him?

now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend

he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities

but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist

and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend

you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent

you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down

‘haji? whats wrong?’

his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry

‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’

you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside

‘hajime, what are you on about?’

you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended

‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’

his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up

‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’

but he scoffed

‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’

youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa

okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that

and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river

except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million

and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose

when iwaizumi hajime was angry, you really done it

you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you

‘h-hajime,,,’

you started and he looked at you expectantly

‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’

there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious

‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’

‘but what about me, y/n?’

he tiredly asked

‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’

despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate

so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you

‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’

you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there

‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’

you slightly let go and cupped his face

‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’

you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer

‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’

SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭

tbh that was really your only big fight

even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other

HOWEVER

when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision

you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh

which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision

in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao

tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved

BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS

you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field

that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier

and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club

so that meant,,,

no time for iwa

and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you

even weekends were like that

eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls

and that strained your former strong relationship

and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses

‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’

‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’

like that type of bull

you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone

your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream

‘hey? y/n? you okay?’

she gently asked and you blinked before nodding

‘mhm. just,,, thinking’

but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering

‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’

kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend

at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible

the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls

now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler

so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females

so that didnt really bother you

but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered

just,,, blank

not even pushing away or feeding into their actions

just,,, standing there

‘haji?’

you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you

‘y/n’

he breathed out and you smiled gently

iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately

the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly

‘how-how are you?’

you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you

‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’

you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive

‘haji,, please understand’

you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him

iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks

‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’

he snipped and you sniffed

‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’

‘dont you think i know that?!’

he cut you off harshly

your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands

‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’

iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw

‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’

‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’

‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’

‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’

you shrieked

‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’

he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell

your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms

‘ha-hajime,, don-’

‘should we break up?’

was he asking you this right now?

seriously?

‘what?’

you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes

‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’

he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events

‘t-tuesday?’

that seemed to snap his patience

with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands

‘damn it, y/n’

he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries

then it clicked

anniversary

it was your 2nd anniversary

and you completely missed it

completely forgotten

you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries

‘ha-haji-’

you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up

‘y/n lets break up’

iwa requested with a cracked smile

your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear

‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’

‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’

your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it

it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it

‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’

‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’

you hiccuped and continued to sob

but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him

‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’

he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms

-------

iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you

even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over

like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other

the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school

it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air

it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying

you continued like that for years until you reached your third year

you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager

the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio

‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’

you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry

he looked up and recognized you as his former manager

‘l/n-senpai!’

he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug

‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’

you teased and ruffled his hair

‘uh-you know him, y/n?’

suga asked and you nodded

‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’

‘she was friends with iwa-’

ope

something flashed in your eyes

kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years

‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’

she sang out and you perked up

‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’

you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape

kageyama shrugged and continued on training

he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you

and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there

‘its fine, y/n, i got you’

but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high

ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go

you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other

you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare

you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you

‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’

noya growled

‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’

ofc hinata echoed

the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away

‘oi! dont do that, boke!’

kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head

hinata whined and glared at him

‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’

‘boke-’

‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’

you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice

‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’

tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock

the famous seijoh ace dated you?!

this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!

‘yall didnt know that?’

kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him

‘how do you know’

‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’

he simply replied and continued filing his nails

you looked up and smiled

‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’

‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’

‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’

the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair

‘then go out there and make me proud’

but we know how this goes

they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata

‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’

you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly

once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home

you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it

a single white carnation

and a small ripped piece of paper that said,

‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(

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caandlelit · 4 years

Note

omg werewolf matsukawa elaborate i want dem hcs

ok so ive got this horrible word doc with my jambled mess of a concept for this witch makki werewolf matsun fic im writing its like 3% done expect it within 2 business years

(edit. this post is too long but i cant stop typing this is good)

werewolf matsun is the SEXIEST idea ever anyone thats done it is doing gods work because that shit is hot . its fucking sexy okay

in my barely formed au he becomes a werewolf in third year

he hears about weird sounds in the forest at night ok

and he convinces witch hanamaki that they shld camp out and see what it is

because he’s been so interested in the witchy supernatural shit since even before he met him

and hanamaki is like okay fine But im wearing my warding pendent and matsukawa is like WHEN WILL U ADMIT YOU’RE A WITCH and hanamaki, mid-putting on his witch hat, ruffles his hair and says idk what ur talking about

they camp out and they’re just bantering and its cute and fun for 2 hours then

matsun hears growling and snapping noises and he’s like hanamaki stay in the fuckin tent

and obviously hanamaki is like on god that is the stupidest thing uve ever said issei no

and matsukawa steps outside and he holds a hand back to stop makki and he steps out and looks around, eyes narrows

and he’s like … straightening up and furrows his brows and ‘theres nothing here’

and he feels like everything is slow and odd and unreal and he turns and sees bright, yellow eyes and he hears the snarl and jerks back

and he’s being attacked and leaped upon and he shouts curses and screams and theres sharp teeth at his side and the smell of matted fur

and hanamaki sprints out and ?? magic spells it away (leave me alone)

what is the spell? what kindof witch is hanamaki? what does he say?

(begone thot!)

the wolf creature howls and thuds off, fast and loping and hanamaki turns and he’s panicked and is like ‘issei? oh FUCK’

matsukawa is like fuck fuck fuck

leaning against a tree and lightheaded and he collapses, head back against the trunk and sweat pouring down his temples, iron in his mouth where hes biting his tongue to keep from scremaing at the sharp pain

touches his side and his fingers come away bloody

his breath is heavy and hes like takahiro im dying

and hanamaki’s dropping down beside him and lifts his arm and says shut the fuck up you’re not dying you asshole and hes sniffling

and matsuns like im sorry i dragged u out here and hanamaki’s like shut up shut up. issei. shit . issei you were right

and hes like wh what was i right about and hes like you were right. im a witch . and youre not fucking dying here, asshole

issei mumbles fuck yeah and does like a little fist pump

and he whispers a spell to carry him over back to his house

and he bandages him up and matsun is tired and in pain and staring at him in the moonlight

MONDAY

go to school and matsun has white bandages wrapped around his side hidden under his shirt and hes a little scraped up even though hanamaki healed and cleaned up as much as he could

someones like oooh matsukawa your arm is scraped up wtf

and hes like yeah man i got in a fight to protect takahiros honor

makki’s like yeah…. :/// he lost

and matsuns like shut up asshole and theyre laughing and theyre good theyre okay

half way through the school day, long and tired and the bell seems louder and harsher and shriller and everything is too bright and loud and making his eyes and ears hurt

in the bathroom matsun takes off the tape bc hes feeling nauseous and everything feels a little too much for some reason hes assuming bc of the wound, maybe its infected

and he checks it while hes inside and the bandages come off and

its clean no bite no blood no mark

and he stares at it and says what the fuck and texts hanamaki

and hanamaki sees the text and its just ‘SOS BATHROOM NOW PLELASE’

asks his teacher to let him go to the bathroom and he steps into the bathroom and matsun spins around and gestures at his side and chest wordlessly

hanamaki like blinks at the sight of matsuns abs and then blinks again at the healed skin and hes like what the fuck

he has sharper vision and sense of smell and hearing

and hes like takahiro……..everything feels horrible and too much and hanamaki’s like ok so what do u want me to do knock u out so u don’t feel anything? and matsukawa’s like huh actually and hana’s like Shut up Dumbass

werewolf matsukawa suddenly stronger and hanamaki so so bitter about it ignoring his personal ‘im attracted to him’ feelings and pretending hes mad abt the super strength

matsukawa’s eyes glinting yellow on occasion and hanamaki trying not to scream bc god that’s sexy

the day they see the healed skin they like walk home silent and shell shocked

matsukawa staring hollowly at the sidewalk his posture lost

hanamaki squinting off into the distance

makki opening his mouth angrily at one point

only to close it defeatedly bc he cant even……

a conversation in hanamaki’s bedroom along the lines of

‘issei why is my life literally teen wolf why am I stiles from teen wolf’

matsun perks up ‘oh that’s dylan o briens character right? does that make me derek !!!’

and hanamaki turns from where hes muttering angrily and squints at him and says slowly

‘why the fu- dude? u r scott ??? because u are a FUCKING WEREWOLF ??????? why would u be derek ???? ur my best friend that turned into a GODDAMN WEREWOLF-‘

‘okok calm down hiro fine fine chill out‘

matsuns like slumping like ‘ugh, scott. i don’t wanna be scott hes painfully straight-‘

and hanamakis like throwing his hands up and shouting like ‘SO THEN !! why would u want to be derek!!!’

and issei’s like ‘…….nevermind we r not in the state to have a conversation about teen wolf, a show neither of us finished and obviously dont have any knowledge about’

im gonna have it properly set in 2013 itll be so cringey and fun

matsukawa also has insomnia and and gets migraines sometimes

and hanamaki’s witchy incense smelling house and bedroom having him nodding off so easily and he sleeps over a lot

especially after he gets bitten, because the migraines get worse

moreso near the full moon

and he comes in through the window and hanamaki is half asleep but always automatically pulls up his blanket and lets him in

big spoon matsun

he curls into his chest as best as he can, pressed tight between the wall and matsukawa

also i have this

italics: makki

bold: mattsun

list of signs pointing towards issei probably being a werewolf:

got bit by a giant dog-creature the bite mark disappeared next day (???? freaky shit)

sudden super healing and durability (useful for when oikawa serves the ball into your head – lmfao)

sudden heightened senses (my headaches r .. multiplying - :( )

sudden super strength (fuck u issei – i didn’t ask to be bitten takahiro – oh no u were bitten how sad for u and ur six pack – the werewolf actually decided i deserve super strength bc of how cool i am – and immeasurable pain every full moon too huh ???? – ...sacrifices were made)

90% sure he got stupider – sign of a dog brain ?? (FUCK OFF – do u want me to explain what a percentage is <3 – no </3)

hair growth (wtf does that mean ??? – it means i suddenly have more chest hair its very weird – ngl to u u were already pretty hairy - fucker)

eyes turn yellow sometimes (wait, really????? – yes its so fucking weird – that sounds fucking epic actually – no comment)

big dick energy went up the ROOF (ok that’s enough asshole – tell me im lying hiro.)

edit: ok the full moon happened we’re all traumatized and hes definitely a FUCKING werewolf.

ill finish this as a fic one day ill post when i do

might also make a useless porno oneshot with just werewolf matsukawa and ? possibly dancer makki im very into dancer makki atm

long post im very sorry but !!!! thanks for the ask

#ask #digimondestined #matsuhana #my writing #matsukawa issei #hanamaki takahiro #it is 2:30 am #goodnight guys #haikyuu #this is a fuckin mess and my word doc is even messier #hq

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captainberserk · 6 years

Text

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 15 people

tagged by @1tobio im sorry this fucking website wont let me tag you i hope you see it xd but thank you very much for the tag :)

LAST

1. drink - milk

2. 📱 call - my grandpa

3. text - to a friend

4. song you listened to - idk whatever was playing on the radio last night

5. time you 😢 - im a man i dont cry :D tears of joy tho a few days ago

HAVE YOU EVER

6. dated someone twice - no

7. 😘 someone and regretted it - no

8. been cheated on - no

9. lost someone special - yes

10. been depressed - yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - no

FAVORITE COLORS

12. yellow

13. red

14. blue

15. black

in the last year have you

16. made new friends - yes

17. fallen out of 💛 - no

18. 😂 until you 😢 - na

19. found out someone was talking about you - na

20. met someone who changed you - no

21. found out who your friends are - yes

22. 😘 someone on your facebook friends list - nope

GENERAL

23. how many friends from your fb friends list do you know irl - all of them

24. do you have any pets - no :( but i want a cat

25. do you want to change your middle name - i dont have one

26. what did you do for your last 🎂 - my brother invited some friends over which i didnt know about so it was kinda a suprise. we hang out ate pizza and chilled together it was nice

27. what time did you wake up today - 10 am

28. what were you doing last night at midnight - i was at friends house

29. what is something you can’t wait for - death

30. what are you listening to right now - im having a twitch stream on in the background

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - no

32. something that gets on your nerves - people who are assholes for no reason wtf do you even exist

33. most visited website - youtube twitch and tumblr

34. hair color - black

35. long hair or short hair - i have short hair

36. do you have a crush on someone - nope

37. what do you like about yourself - honest, helpfu, idk

38. want any piercings - no

39. blood type: idk

40. nicknames - captain

41. relationship status - forever alone (hopefully)

42. zodiac - pisces

43. pronouns - your majesty

44. favorite 📺 show - scrubs , drawn together , avatar the last airbender

45. tattoos - no

46. right handed or left - right

47. ever had surgery - no

48. piercings - no

49. sports - i play football

50. vacation - vacation what? whats the question here?

51. trainers - yes im a pokemon trainer and my mudkip destroy everyone

MORE GENERAL

52. eating - again what do you want?

53. drinking - what

54. i’m about to watch - i started avatar korra recently so that i guess

55. waiting for - death

56. want - death or tbh just beeing endless rich. not for the money i dont need much but just to be free and can do what i want. but thats not gonna happen so death it is lol. life sucks.

57. get married - i hope not

58. career - idk

WHICH IS BETTER

59. kisses or hugs - hugs

60. 👄 or eyes - idc

61. shorter or taller - idc

62. older or younger - idc (not a pedo btw lol)

63. nice arms or stomach - idc

64. hookup or relationship - not much of a relationship guy so hookups i guess lol

65. troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER

66. 😘 a stranger - no

67. drank hard liquor - no

68. lost glasses - no

69. turned someone down - yes

70. sex on first date - no

71. broken someone’s ❤️ - maybe? not sure lol

72. had your 💔 - no

73. been arrested - no

74. 😢 when someone died - no

75. fallen for a friend - yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - i mean i know im an idiot so theres not really much to believe in

77. miracles - kinda

78. 💛 at first sight - no

79. 🎅 - no

80. 😘 on a first date - no

81. angels - kinda

other

82. best friend’s name -

83. eye color - brown

84. favorite movie - shutter island, inception and horrible bosses to name a few

85. favorite actor - leonardo dicaprio

thanks again for the tag @1tobio (still not working D: )

last time i tagged people i got ignored by everyone so im not doing that again XD but if you wanna do it feel yourself tagged

#i dont think i tag this kinda stuff do i #1tobio

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queen-of-hearts92 · 6 years

Text

Revue Starlight 4: Where in Tokyo is Hikari Kagura?

BANANA, IN PAJAMAS, IS VERY BANA-NICE!

For the previous episode go here!

To go to the start of these posts, go to the Prelude!

Sup everyone, this week we have a what is known as a breather episode. It’s a break to get to know everyone more pretty much! But it was still a good time! Like wow, even the breather episodes are fascinating! Ok! Here we go!

Quick note: I discovered Claudine’s nickname is Kuro, given by Karen it sounds like, so I’ll probably use that from time to time. So Kuro=Claudine, now you know and won’t be confused when I call her that being like “who the fuck is Kuro?”. Odd her image color is orange but her nickname means black and theres no orange on her stage outfit. Eh, whatever.

>Guess who watched the stage play?

Recently I decided to go ahead and watch the stage play, it was a chinese sub (I’ll link ya to it if you like, just message me) so while I couldn’t gather a ton of info I did gather some interesting shit. First off, the stage play story and the anime story are quite different from each other as far as I could tell. So don’t worry too much about spoilers, the show is very quick and compressed pacing wise for example. Ok so first off, remember the mystery names in the cast list on the bottom of the fan translated website? In the stage show there are three teachers overseeing the fights, I only know one of their names so the other two I’ll call Red Jacket and Yellow Sweater.

Red Jacket seems to be a gym teacher of sorts, Yellow Sweater is a music teacher. Yellow Sweater dislikes the fights right away while Red Jacket gradually gets more and more uncomfortable with the kids fighting. The third teacher is the most important one, she’s in charge (might be the headmaster of the school) and orchestrating the whole thing. Her name is Souda Haseda, the girls call her “Souda-sensei”, and I really think its very likely she is going to be in the anime. So we are probably gonna get a face to the system! Good, this will be exciting!

Second thing here, in the stage version it seems like the audition duels magically jack up the girl’s aggression and worst possible traits A LOT. This way they fight each other and its, wild. You can break out of the influences but man does it hit hard! Examples being Maya being really bloodthirsty (my curiosity of the play started cause I saw a screenshot of her stabbing Claudine, don’t worry Claudine is fine its not really mentioned or has consequences as far as I can tell), Nana’s aggression is fuckin nuts, and Hikari starts taunting her opponents and during a fight with Mahiru she knocks Mahiru the fuck out! Like holyyy shit Hikari!

And they snap out of this blinding rage when the duel ends but the winners go right back into it once their next duel starts. Like when Maya beats Kuro she isn’t happy, no. She’s upset and has this look on her face that says “I won but at what cost?”. And then the next fight she’s right back into stabby time. I’m not describing everything cause you could see it for yourself but wow man. I actually don’t think any of this stuff about the auditions will be true in the anime but I think the underground stage is probably set up to egg everyone on into wanting to fight each other. Yikes.

-The word Kirin was used in the musical, and I think it was referring to the mythical animal. I’m thinking I’m right about my theory of what Giraffe is! But there's still a lingering question, if Kirins are supposed to be beings of good luck and fortune why is there one associated with a game of misery and conflict? Hm. The mystery continues.

--Also btw, I tried to see if Souda-sensei’s name meant anything but I couldn’t get anything to make any sense. All I know is her name involves running and feathers and maybe camels and gauze or something silky? I got running away/escaping, going fast. Idk, it’s this 走駝紗羽 (and I’m pretty positive her name is written this way) if anyone wants to give it a go themselves. I’m not an expert at all so maybe you’ll find something I missed.

Alrighty that’s all I gotta say on the play! Glad I watched it, still don’t know what’s gonna happen in the anime tho lol. Yay surprises!

>*Carmen Sandiago theme intensifies as the ep summary starts up*

The episode starts with baby! Hikari and Karen watching the Starlight play. The roles are filled by all the girls doing a repeat of the stairs from episode one. Teen! Hikari and Karen are playing the two goddesses, just like we saw Maya and Claudine do in the flashback last episode. The pink star shines brightly as it did last time we saw this play.

Y’ALL I ALREADY WARNED YOU ABOUT THOSE STAIRS!

After Hikari and Karen’s characters reach for the star, they are each on a raised platform. And then, THEN THE STAR BLASTS KAREN’S CHARACTER IN THE FACE AND SHE DIES. Yeah. Anyways Karen’s platform goes down while Hikari’s goes up and sand rains down from the sky onto Hikari’s character who is crying. Notably the tower that held the star is empty.

Twinkle twinkle little star, IT WILL UNLEASH THE WRATH OF GOD!

Now we are in the present, its the next day. Karen wakes up and notices Hikari isn’t there. So she proceeds to run around the dorm barging into all the rooms looking for Hikari. She wakes up Nana and Junna, looks around the bathing room while Maya is there, and startles Claudine into speaking French while she was looking at photos of Maya dancing on her tablet….Which is for researching Maya’s dancing of course, and for no other reason even though she hides her tablet screen so Karen can’t see the photos. Research purposes only!

After this show is done I might do a best screenshot compilation post. This will be one of them, it’s priceless.

We then go to the living room where we find out Karen woke up Futaba and Kaoruko and the two are on the couch looking very sleepy. Everyone else is also there and being like “God dammit Karen, she’s been doing this all morning!”. Karen runs into the living room, sad she didn’t find Hikari anywhere in the dorm. Nana asks if Karen tried calling her and Karen is like oooh yeah phones are a thing. She thanks Nana by combining her nickname with the word nice getting the amazing phrase “Bana-nice” and floofing Nana’s pigtails. Nana likes this.

Karen calls Hikari and asks where the fuck she is, Hikari doesn’t say anything but Karen can hear a train station and is like “wtf are you off campus?! You need a notice! Curfew is at 6!” but Hikari hangs up. Karen decides to go and find her. All the girls (including sleepy Kaoruko draped over her gf like a sloth) follow Karen to the door. Futaba is like uh are you gonna get a notice? Junna reminds Karen it's her turn to clean the hallways. Karen is like, sorry I gotta go find Hikari! Karen runs to the train station but no Hikari. She sends Hikari a text and Hikari response with the best emote known to man. And no translation needed honestly.

Hikari won’t hesitate bitch!

Eventually Hikari sends a picture of herself in front of a, blurry blob. Karen guesses a rock climbing wall, its wrong. Karen runs around and asks a little girl what she think it is and the girl thinks its jellyfish. Karen runs to a aquarium, its the wrong one. Hikari sends another jellyfish picture and Karen races out to the train. Btw Hikari has her roller suitcase with her the entire time. Anyways, Hikari is in another aquarium but Karen is tired so she sits in a train station. Hikari then finally texts words instead of jellyfish photos, she asks why did you lose. Karen replies saying that Maya and her aren’t on the same stage (as in she means Maya is much stronger than her), if you could even call it a stage that is. Hikari calls her an idiot. Karen then asks well what should she have done then?! Hikari responses with, I don’t know. She wonders what should they do. Karen decides to call her and this time Hikari picks up and responds! She asks if Karen remembers “their Starlight”.

Back on campus, Futaba and Kaoruko are chilling in a training room. Kaoruko complains about having to wear school uniforms/school wear while in the school building. She then brings up the audition duels, she is surprised Futaba is in them and didn’t talk to her about doing that. She wonders if the prize of being Top Star is real. Kaoruko says “aw man that means we gotta fight one day, but you’ll let me win right?”, Futaba doesn’t give an answer. Instead she slides Kaoruko off of her lap. This is fine. Just fine.

Anywho Kaoruko is then like, I got an idea! She starts skipping towards the teacher’s office with Futaba right behind her. Yeah she’s gonna go tattle on Karen and Hikari being off campus without permission cause then less rivals for Top Star, don’t ever trust the sleepy ones you guys. Luckily Mahiru stops them in their tracks saying she’s the goddess of the hallway while pointing with and spinning her baton. Mahiru says she senses wicked intent from them, and figures out Kaoruko’s plan right away and does a great impression of her. Kaoruko tries to be like “uhhh no we weren't gonna. Do anything like that.” Mahiru then aggressively spins her baton at them until they run away. Mahiru then dramatically laments that she’s jealous that Karen was chasing Hikari and not her.

ALL HAIL THE HALLWAY GODDESS! PROTECTOR OF THE IDIOTS!

Back with Karen and Hikari, Karen is like ofc I remember our promise! Then the two have a long much needed catching up talk while they individually wander around Tokyo for the rest of the day. Eventually Karen talks about how much she loves the stage and wants to go even higher, hence she’ll keep doing the audition duels. Finally, at night, the two meet in person at the lit up Tokyo Tower.

Meanwhile, we go to Claudine practicing dance. She’s been doing so for awhile. Maya then comes the fuck in and asks if she wanted to dance with her. They turn on sweet jazzy music and they dance. Maya comments that Claudine seems all psyched up again and Claudine says that Maya tends to fire her up and Maya is like “orly? Cool” (Maya don’t be coy you already knew that). Claudine asks “So, why the hell are you even IN the auditions in the first place? It’s not like you need em, you’re already take center stage with everything!” Maya playfully says she gets jealous is all. They finish their dance with Maya dipping Claudine, she says the idea of anyone having the Top Star besides herself makes her very jealous. What Maya is really saying is she wants Claudine to challenge her and try to take the Top Star, Claudine smiles and calls her greedy. Challenge accepted.

Maya is NOT subtle with her crush at all, it’s amazing.

Back with Karen and Hikari, they try to go to the aquarium that’s under the tower but sadly its closed for maintenance. The two sit in a park nearby the tower, Karen is like “its okay we can always come together here again!” Hikari then finally talks about the audition duels. She says if you lose too many times and get booted out, you will lose the most important thing to a Stage Girl. Damn.

Karen is like ooohh that's why you locked me in a shed, but she points out that not going to the duel meant she’d lose by default and Hikari very obviously didn’t think of that. Karen, running up a slide, is like Hikari don’t worry I won’t lose anymore! She’s gonna be shining! She will shine with Hikari! Hikari points out there's only one Top Star and Karen is like uh Giraffe never said there couldn’t be two! Not a bad point. Hikari is like dude thats not gonna happen but Karen is like let’s try anyways. Hikari is like, ok. And joins her on the top of the slide. They stand together holding hands, the tower glowing softly nearby.

They say if a couple witnesses the turning off of Tokyo Tower’s lights at night, they will stay together forever......uh. It’s still on. Uh oh.

Meanwhile at the dorms, their teacher is checking if all of them are there so the girls gotta cover for Karen and Hikari. When their teacher checks the room, Mahiru is like oh they tired so they went to bed early. Kaoruko and Futaba are being body doubles in Karen and Hikari’s bed. However because they didn’t use pillows like most kids in media do, now Kaoruko and Futaba’s room is being checked and they ain’t there. Everyone is thinking fffucck.

So, to allow the gfs to sneak back to their room, Maya and Claudine join in to help their dumbass friends/floormates. Claudine’s brilliant idea is to stage faint and start rambling random words in French, Maya catches her and is like “oh nooo. She fainted!” the teacher runs over asking what happened and Maya says, what's most likely the first thing that popped up in her head, “She’s got, stage fright!!” I’m. You guys.

Anyways, Futaba and Kaoruko sneaked back to their room door while the teacher’s back was turned. The teacher turns around and sees them by their door. Maya very quietly asks Claudine how long she was gonna lay there rambling in French, so Claudine springs up and is like “HEY I’M FINE NOW!” The teacher is like, well alrighty then. After she leaves, Nana is like “wow i’ve never done that before….but Bana-nice!” Junna is like let’s NEVER do this again.

This goes to show. Top of the class or not, teenagers are teenagers.

The next morning, Mahiru is waiting on the stairs in front of the dorm and sleeping. She wakes up and sees Karen and Hikari walking towards the dorm. She’s like YAY THEY’RE BACK! Junna and Nana come outside while everyone else looks out their windows. Junna is like “WTF What were you two thinking?!” Turns out they ran out of money so they couldn’t take the train back, oops. Karen is like, it’s cool we got back at 6. Junna groans and is like 6PM not AM! Junna scolds them and Nana says Junna did Karen’s cleaning duties for her, Junna blushes. Karen gets emotional, apologizes, and hugs Junna, much to Mahiru’s dismay.

Then, because these useless lesbians were outside shouting about covering for Karen and Hikari, the teacher rides by on her bike and is like Karen and Hikari come to the office later and bring all those who covered for you too. Yeah she found out, oops. She says they will get “the legendary punishment” and rides away. Junna is like fffffffffuck I’ve heard horrible things about that! Rumor has it that it has caused students to leave the school all together! Karen is like, fuck. Uh, it’s fine! We’re all in this together. Junna is dying squirtle.

But, she says she’s glad they are safe. Then all the girls tell them “Welcome back”! Hikari is obviously touched by this. The girls go back inside for breakfast. Hikari puts her new stuffed jellyfish next to her bear and the episode ends with the ending theme being sung by both Hikari and Karen.

Let’s face it, getting the jellyfish alone was worth going out for!

>Even the breather episodes have a lot going on!

-Odd to mention now I know, but I love how they draw bangs in the show! They so flippy and cute!

-Also fun fact, the white bear Hikari has everywhere is an in universe mascot character called Mr. White. Hikari loves this mascot so much its on her stage uniform!

-So Hikari straight up leaves the dorms this episode and I think the reason is this, she realized Karen only auditioned cause she was there. If she wasn’t there Karen would’ve never auditioned, so her quest was doomed from the get go. So she leaves hoping Karen would now stop dueling since she isn’t there. But what Hikari underestimated was how much Karen cares about her, she didn’t expect Karen to call her or go looking for her. Hikari at this point is at a loss of what to do, the reason why she came in the first place was a failure. Hence she wanders looking at jellyfish, avoiding Karen since she didn’t want to admit how she felt and that she fucked up. But Karen got it out of her via texting and they finally spoke extensively to each other. This was a good step for them! Looks like Karen convinced Hikari, for the time being, of getting Top Star together!

But is it really such a good idea?...Dunno yet.

-I love that sleepy Kaoruko just drapes herself onto Futaba like Futaba is a big old pillow and she is a sleepy sloth. Very cute girlfriends. Though, there was very strong foreshadowing here that their relationship will be strained thanks to the duels. Futaba isn’t going to just let her win, her silence after Kaoruko asks her that just proves it. Good luck dear lesbians.

-I can’t believe Claudine “I keep photos of Maya dancing on my tablet just for observing her dancing and not because I think she’s hot or anything. JUST FOR RESEARCH PURPOSES!” Saijo is fucking canon. I made a joke of that nature in my last post but then this really happened! I’m SO pleased. Also Karen startled her so much she reverts to speaking French lol. Kuro is the living embodiment of the “600 photos fly out of pockets” meme I swear. I really like her, she’s great!

-Nana’s reaction to Karen fluffing her pigtails was very cute. She is very cute.

-Junna with her hair down is very cute yes but oh man this screenshot of her being startled awake is the funniest fucking thing oh my god. I can’t decide if she was dreaming of titty or if she was ready scratch the face off of whoever came into her room lol.

-I love how comfortable the 8 girls are with each other? Like not all of them are best friends or anything they are just used to living with each other, I assume they’ve been living with each other since their 1st year. And yeah you just kinda get used to any weird shit your floor mates do. We got a good look at that this episode. Karen is running around looking for Hikari and she’s comfortable with everyone enough to barge into people’s rooms and any other room and be like “HAVEYOUSEENHIKARIISSHEINHERE?!”. Also it is funny seeing Karen burst into every room in the dorm like that. She even startled Maya lol. Karen pls.

It kinda gives me flashbacks to when I was in theater and summer camp lol, er not the running into the bathroom while someone was there part tho.

--Also Karen, why do you keep looking under places that Hikari can’t possibly fit or hide in? Unless Hikari is a cat, if she can get her head through she can get in. Maybe, she is a cat. *X Files music*.

-Being Mahiru is still suffering. Like damn it’s suffering! Karen didn’t even really talk to her getting back from the big city. She looks so sad when Karen hugs Junna and not her. OUCH. Currently I’m putting my bets on us losing Mahiru first, she’s the odd man out and that would hurt Karen greatly and up the stakes a lot. Either way it’s only a matter of time b4 she mcfreakin loses it now, and judging by some episode five screenshot teaser that might come soon. SPEAKING OF WHICH!

--THIS. OK. WHAT. IS. THAT. WHITE. THING?! IT HAS AN EYE?! AAAAA?! Is it a prop?! Is it real?! Is it a lovecraftian horror?! What?! Whatcha got in store for us episode 5?! I’m excited and scared at the same time.

-What’s very interesting is that Karen wasn’t sleepy or tired this episode even though it’s post duel. I’m thinking her drive to find Hikari overrode everything else, amazing. The power of gay love!

-When Claudine suddenly dropped to the ground, for a hot second I was like WHAT IS SHE OK but then I realized it was a distraction. Shout out to Maya for just going with it, catching her and everything. Also well well Kuro it looks like you trust Maya enough to catch ya when you stage faint. :3c

Anywho what cracked me up the most was how slapped together their distraction was, like you guys you’ve been actresses for awhile now and this is the best you can do? Guess they aren’t one for improv lol. I’m honestly glad it went this dumb cause it goes to show that even the top students are still teens, covering for their idiot friends/floormates. I am also happy they took part in this hairbrained scheme, I’ll say more about this later.

-Hikari says when you get booted out of the duels you “lose the most important thing to a stage girl”. Well that’s really vague Hikari. Either she is still withholding information OR that is all she knows. I got the impression in the stage play she was Souda-sensei’s spy/agent to get people to fight, can’t say if that’s true here though.

-Kaoruko omg. I knew she had a secret mean streak but wowww. The good news is she isn’t very sneaky about it, nor is her girlfriend, so Mahiru easily stopped that shit in its track. I still love her though, Sailor Neptune's spirit lives on and is as passive aggressive as ever!

-The Venus de Milo statue didn’t pop up this episode, but that’s likely cause we weren’t on campus very much this time. The pink light was still everywhere like usual though. Also we learned the school has free practice days! That’s neat.

-Hey Maya, I don’t think saying ominous things about the audition duels while dancing is how you flirt with a girl. Granted it looks like it worked? Weirdos. And I told ya guys, Maya really loves dancing with her. She went out her way to do so this episode! Also good to know Maya always smiles at her when they dance even if no one else is watching so her smiling isn’t performative. And man, I’ve noticed Maya seeks out Kuro and only Kuro instead of hanging out with anyone else. That girl has got it bad.

--Maya hun, did you learn all your flirting tactics from the theater? I think she did, amazing.

-Honestly I’m loving Kuro and Maya’s dynamic more and more each episode, they are actually really adorable? Kuro is in deep denial while Maya is like “That’s ok, take your time. :)”. In the meantime she’s here to impress and think “She’s so pretty when she fights and when she dances and when she-” and so on and so forth.

However like with everyone else’s relationships, their relationship is going to end up strained thanks to the audition duels. Right now, Maya very firmly believes that being a Top Star means being alone. Throwing everything and everyone away, no matter what. But that begs the question, how will she handle it when it’s Kuro’s time to get booted (I think Maya and Karen will be the last ones standing)? I don’t mean just losing, being kicked out of the duels all together.

If my theory on radiance aka ability to perform on the stage is the thing taken is correct, than that means Maya can’t dance with her or see her fiery passion for the theater anymore after she’s kicked out. When that time comes, will she really be ok with leaving Kuro with nothing and standing alone? Ha ha, what if Maya knows they have limited time together so she’s trying to have as much time as she can? Ahaha...oh I just made myself sad.

-Speaking of Maya and Kuro, those two are a lot different than I expected. Way nicer and for sure not so above it all. They are just teenagers like the rest of them. I really love how different Maya is off the stage, when fighting/on stage she is very intimidating and seems all powerful. But when not she is, very respected and talented yes, but she is just another girl in their class. Maya isn’t an asshole to her classmates like you’d expect most characters like her to do, and like I said she obviously enjoys dancing with Kuro even though they are rivals.

Kuro on the other hand could’ve been like your average rich bitch character but nope! She's actually very chill and playful with everyone not named Tendou Maya, hell she even has a nickname, all of her intensity goes towards Maya instead. And ofc her deep denial about how she feels about Maya. It's very fascinating and I love it, I love them. They could’ve easily been the stock popular snobs/jerks but they aren’t, they are much deeper than that. And that’s wonderful!

-How odd that Claudine is asking Maya why she’s even in the underground duels and says that Maya “doesn’t need them”. So does that mean these fights are for girls who are desperate to get to the top and feel there’s no other way? If so, then why is Maya there? Maya herself doesn’t give an actual answer. Hm.

-The curfew for the dorms is 6pm apparently but the duels obviously go way past that time and into the night. So there’s at least two possibilities here. One, the school is very much in on it so the curfew is null and void for the girls who fight that night. Or two, the dueling does indeed take place in a dream world or dreamlike world. The question is when do the girls enter it? How does the elevator work then? Do their real bodies go with them? Are they just teleported back into their beds afterwards? Or a mix of both, school is in on it and there’s some magic shit going on? Like the school knows but the audition duels are in a dreamlike place is what I mean. HM. There is so much we don’t know about the duels honestly. What are they hiding? And, how much do the Stage Girls really know?

--I’m thinking that it’s likely the duels are taking place in a dreamlike world, that would line up with Karen waking up in bed after them and line up with the girls being tired the next day. However I must point out that even if the audition duels do take place in a dreamlike world, it doesn’t make it less real. No the experience is very real it just takes place in a dreamlike reality (think like in the movies Inception or Paprika). The Stage Girls remember the duels and no these aren’t just normal auditions, we have zero evidence suggesting that still so I’d say get that idea outta yo head.

I’m also thinking any wounds or hell even dying would all be temporary, like you’d wake up and you are fine physically. However emotionally not so much, you’d remember the experience of either dying or killing someone and that will probably fuck you up a bit, shit. And I think there is a way to die but it maybe only the Revue itself can do that. I’m guessing losing will really scramble your brain in some way. Oh dear.

-We see more of the Starlight play, so the summary I got right now for the plot of this play is this. Once upon a time there were two goddesses, they loved each other very much. But they both wanted to reach for a light high up in the sky, a star. So together they leave their nymphs friends (Idk are they nymphs or what) behind, and they go to the star. Both goddesses reach for the star but, the star fired a laser beam and shot one of the goddesses out of the sky. The other was being pulled into the star, unable to go back for her lover. So she turned her into sand to spare her a horrible death. They were forever separated, their dream could never come true. The End! Soooo this foreshadowing makes me nervous for the girls, I’ll talk about it more in the speculation part.

--Quick note here, I learned that the names of the two goddesses in the play are Claire and Flora. Now Flora is a latin name that means flower and is the name of the Roman goddess of flowers and plants. Interestingly, the school’s symbol is a flower! Or looks like one to me at least. Claire is also a latin name and it means bright, clear, and….famous. Hm, I think I’m gonna assume Claire is the goddess who didn’t die. Could be wrong though.

>IMMA FIRING MY SPECULATIONS! RAWR!

(Is that meme considered old now?)

-So is the legendary punishment legit or was their teacher just fucking with them? I suspect if it is, and if we see it, the punishment isn’t as bad as it’s rumored to be. If it is, maybe it's like the stage play. In the stage play, because Karen was late to class too many times I think, the girls got thrown into the fighty Greek Chorus hell pit. Most of them without weapons, at least Maya and Kuro went for using their bare hands instead. Wow. Death by greek chorus, what a way to go.

-I’m thinking that starlight equals radiance aka talent. The starlight gatherers thing I pointed out last week would match up to this idea.

-The penalty of losing too much in the auditions is that something important to Stage Girls is lost. I strongly think what they lose is their radiance aka starlight. Basically all their abilities they can use to perform. Maybe even weakening their bodies? My current thought for the truth about being Top Star is that Top Star is given all the radiance of the girls who lost, maybe used as a battery by the tiara but even just being given all the radiance is painful too. You’d be alone at the top, all your friends are gone and you’ve literally taken away everything they had. Basically the winner doesn’t even win, the only winner is the cruel system.

So I got two ideas of where this could go, one is that the girls who lose become shells of their former selves after losing their starlight. Blank eyes, not very active, that kind of thing. And maybe the effect can be resisted for a little while but it will come for you in the end. And maybe it could even cause you to fade away into nothing but pink light....which is all over this anime. UM. OH GEEZ.

The other idea is that, the stage literally steals you away. If the idea is to give all the radiance at once to whoever the Top Star is, storing the losing girls would work too. Like the stage basically catches the losing girl, drags her under or upward (or even stage left or right) and then the girl is put in a deep sleep pretty much. They sleep in coffins or boxes until there is a Top Star, then they will be taken out and drained. This could be a good way for the school to not have to deal with zombie like girls, they can just say they are sick. Not like the other Stage Girls can tell anyone otherwise. What happens afterwards can’t say I know really. Could go with them fake joining the Starlight group like in my theory. Or they just bury whats left of the girls under the stage. Shit.

-Heres a theory that came to me while I was watching the stage version, the Starlight story isn’t made up. The myth is real. The goddess that lived is among them, maybe as the head teacher Souda-sensei? That would explain all the goddess symbolism, specially love goddesses because this one lost her lover and so did Inanna and Venus. It might also explain our Qilin, he is loyal to her.

So if the goddess is real why is she here? Well, I think she did indeed take the star and stored it away. However, this goddess has become cruel. She had seen other women with their best friends and their lovers and became angry. Why do they get to keep who they love the most and she had to lose hers? So maybe this is a recreation, she might just be a goddess who loves theater and sees it as a good way to lure girls. She puts the same number of girls as there were goddesses or goddesses and their nymphs idk. They fight for the Top Star, fighting friends and lovers alike. And the girl that wins gains the star powers, but now she’s alone and she lost everything else. Just like the goddess herself, another lonely star.

>Bana-nice!

This was a nice breather episode! Got to hang with the girls more, got some more foreshadowing, got some more gay, it was fun! And it gave the animators a break! It looks like episode 5 is gonna be a doozy though, oh boy.

See you on the stage for episode 5!

#shojo kageki revue starlight #revue starlight #moo watches revue starlight #shoujo kageki revue starlight

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sakuurae · 6 years

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85 questions tag !

Tagged by @wtf-taeyong, and thanks again for the tag ! ^~^

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

Last…?

1. drink - Water with lemon !

2. phone call - My mum

3. text message - My boyfriend, haha. Were just online shopping together

4. song you listened to - Gods plan by drake lMAO

5. time you cried - Idk like a few days ago when i watched wolf children again with @taeyxong

Ever…?

6. dated someone twice - Naaah bruhh. I cant repeat mistakes haha.

7. kissed someone and regretted it - Nopee

8. been cheated on- Lmao (sadly yes)

9. lost someone special- I suppose so

10. been depressed- We all feel depressed at times

11. gotten drunk and thrown up- Happens way too often !

fave colors

Omg this messed up the number format but ... pastel pink, pastel yellow, and white

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - Definitely—on this site as well as in person ! ^~^

16. fallen out of love - Nope !

17. laughed until you cried - All the time. I laugh easily at a lot of things so imagine what im like when something is actually hilarious

18. found out someone was talking about you - Yeah ! But its okay, it doesnt matter because people who know you the least always talk the most about you !

19. met someone who changed you - Definitely, @ loving bf

20. found out who your friends are - Alway knew and we stuck together since senior year of hs

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - I dont even have a facebook

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - I really dont even have a facebook and i also wouldnt add people i dont know in person

23. do you have any pets - nO but i want to claim my cousins dog. She has a white shiba

24. do you want to change your name - Nope ! Its a present from my parents so id never : )

25. what did you do for your last birthday - My friends and i got a hotel room for the night and partied in there

26. what time did you wake up today - Like 07:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Sleeping lol

28. what is something you can’t wait for - Summer plans !

30. what are you listening to right now - Back to you by selena gomez

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - No ? But ill reserve this for the day i meet tom misch lmao jk

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - Nothing really ! Things have been really placid

33. most visited website - Youtube and google drive !

34. hair colour - Light brown to blonde but im going back to pink

35. long or short hair - I have medium lengthed ! Its by my ribs

36. do you have a crush on someone - Yeah who else

37. what do you like about yourself - I like my personality !

38. want any piercings? - I dont want any more : ) i have seven and i regret getting that many and i honestly believe it was just my experimental edgy period ahaha. I dont even wear earrings anymore

39. blood type - ???

40. nicknames - Every time i see this question i cry. Just make more puns already omg. Rae is a nickname, billy rae cyrus, raenglish major, sun rae, raeddy, furrae ... help.

41. relationship status - Taken !

42. zodiac - Leo

43. pronouns - She/Her

44. fave tv shows - I dont watch tv !

45. tattoos - I have one on my back and its a minimal outline-like drawing of dolphins hopping above waves. (It really isnt extra at all lol it looks like someone with a great steady hand drew it with a .38 pen on paper)

46. right or left handed - Right

47. ever had surgery - Nope

48. piercings - Sadly seven

49. sport - Im all in for basketball these days, but in my other tags ofc i stated ping pong and badminton, etc.

50. vacation - Heck yeah i just got off one

51. trainers - ???

more general

52. eating - Nothing but im probably going to drive for ice cream

53. drinking - Water like always

54. i’m about to watch - Nothing ?

55. waiting for - My motivation to kick in so i can write soulmate ten more

56. want - To be happy ! ^~^

57. get married - I want to !

58. career - Professor, definitely. I want to make each class meeting more extra than the previous

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - Hugs are nice, but so are kisses

60. lips or eyes - Eyes

61. shorter or taller - I dont really mind to be honest. I care about personality way more before physical qualities. It just matters whether or not youre happy with the person and for me, looks isnt needed ! They fade away over time, but a good heart doesnt : )

62. older or younger - Doesnt matter to me either, but no huge age difference for me, haha

63. nice arms or stomach - Doesnt matter either

64. hookup or relationship - Relationship because my hoe phase is over

65. troublemaker or hesitant - I aint bringing a trouble maker home to my parents

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - It can happens

67. drank hard liquor - It isnt deemed a party to us unless theres hard liquor lol so yes

68. lost glasses - LMAO yeah i got new ones recently. Theyre the trendy circular ones

69. turned someone down - Yeah

70. sex on first date - Nope

71. broken someone’s heart - Yeah but im sure they grew from it the way i grew from heartbreaks—we all do

72. had your heart broken - Oh yeah

73. been arrested - Nope !

74. cried when someone died - Yes

75. fallen for a friend - Yeah ! Feelings cant just be prevented; people cant help how they feel often ! Usually when i crushed on someone i would just tell them and if i get rejected then i move on, and if not then we start something. My bf was a friend i fell for really hard and i told him, and then we ended up together : )

do you believe in…?

76. yourself - Always have to !

77. miracles - No ?

78. love at first sight - No, but attraction is !

79. santa claus - When i was five lmao

80. kiss on a first date - Not for me, but it happens !

81. angels - ? :x

other

82. best friend’s name - Lucy and i made jokes of her being lucy from fairy tail a lot before. Now all we do is watch miraculous ladybug and cry

83. eye colour - Brown

84. fave movie - I guess iron giant; i dont watch much movies

85. fave actor - Dont have one !

Tagging: @taeyongtime @taeyxong @jungwxoo @jencto @amorenjun @okmica

Only if youd like ! ^~^ Maybe thisll serve as a break from writing, haha

#File this personal info into an investigator file #about me

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tinkdw · 7 years

Note

You can't just point out the knob fondling then not expand on it Tink! Come ooonnn, you're killing me!

I mean… what do you want me to expand on really? :p

I was kinda just being cracky but yeah there is a reason behind these choices. I always ask WHY did something happen on the show, because this isn’t real life, everything that happens and is chosen to be shown on screen happens because a conscious choice was made to do something, and that choice was made for a reason, to show the audience something. Sure occasionally these choices are an actor choice and / or not necessarily showing us anything particularly huge or even can just be plain wrong (I’m looking at you J2 changing the Game of Thrones reference around, still bitter), but when it’s something that is consistently in the subtext that is different, that’s there for a reason.

That’s what is so great about fiction. Also about this show in particular where subtext is literally the bedrock of the story and has been since the pilot (eg. the Sam / Dean relationship. Sam’s whole arc “ending” in Swan Song is based on all the subtext of his story since the pilot, the WHOLE SHOW uses subtext all the time and builds the actual text on it, this isn’t just about Destiel).

Cas is fondling a knob and Dean is fondling his shoulder. Both for no apparent reason. Dean stops immediately when he sees Sam.

These are choices that were made for the visual storytelling of the scene. A scene in an episode where Dean / Cas were framed as parents to Claire (with cool uncle Sammy teaching her to break the rules), bickering like an old married couple whilst having also shopped for Claire’s present together off screen, having just last episode with Claire had an in depth emotional conversation that was framed as romantic and having defended each other to Claire (“Cas…he saved the world”, “well maybe theres a little monster in all of us”).

All this for *reasons*.

So I just add this to the large bank of “wtf-ery” of Dean / Cas that makes no sense if you don’t read them as awkwardly falling in love despite themselves and the whole show building this story in various tiny and huge ways with small moments like this, the 9x09 flirting, Dean adding a second bedside table to his room when Cas is human, the lip licking and boner scene etc etc etc.

These are all small moments that are surrounded by and build up to the big moments like “I rebelled for you”, “I did all of it for you”, “I did it to protect you”, “he was your boyfriend first” “the one whose in love with you”, “I’m not leaving here without you”, “I need you”, “he’s in love…with humanity” and “my fathers creation, you can’t help but represent that for me”, “everyone you love… except me”, “it’s not an it Sam, it’s CAS”, “what about Cas?”, “your human weakness”…

… “I love you”.

Oh and all the times they’re canonically paralleled to romantic couples too.

Oh and all the times Sam is like wtf is my life having to deal with these two repressed dorks pulling bitch faces and raising his eyebrows at them.

It’s all just pieces of a puzzle. A puzzle that if it doesn’t come together to create a beautiful picture of a love story between these two characters makes literally no sense because that’s what each individual piece represents and builds towards. It’s like having a puzzle with pieces that all create a beachside sunrise and saying nope that’s just not what this is, I see all your yellow and gold puzzle pieces with actual sunbeams and I see the sand and yes it might appear to look like a sunrise and yeah it might be on a beach but… it’s not…

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#I always ask myself the question WHY did they choose to do something in the show #its all for a reason #what is the reason here #pray tell me #destiel #this is why i was just kinda yelling WHY WHY WHYYYYYY at amwritingmeta on the plane this weekend lol #you just have to ask WHY in fiction because everything is a CHOICE #spn 10x20

141 notes · View notes

hayjeon · 7 years

Text

Girls Like You (ft. Jeongguk)

→ badboy!jk, jock!au, prequel (part 2) to You Who [M] (part 1 here) → 8k words, (lots of fluff, slight smut, tiny bit angst)

A/N: Yay! Thank you everyone for enjoying the badboy!jk couple! You Who was my first fic to get to 1k notes, and after uploading the prequel pt. 1, I reached 1k! Thank you everyone again, I’ll be following up with a post soon! :)

In the meantime, go check out my other tae fic, Give and Take, that I uploaded as another surprise :) It’s a similar au that I wrote before this prequel, so I think you guys’ll like it!

You woke up with raging headache and you squinted your eyes at the sun shining through your blinds as you sit up. Grabbing your phone, you see the time 10:42 am along with other texts from Jihyo and Jungyeon. Groaning, you thank the stars that its Saturday morning and you have no other obligations today. You walk over to the kitchen and grab yourself a cup of water and chug it and rub your eyes.

Your roommate walks out and laughs at your state. “Rough night?”

You squint at her. “Oh god, I don’t even remember how I got home.”

Nayeon frowns at you, “You don’t? I was next door, and I heard you talking with Jeongguk. Seems like he put you to bed then.”

You scrunch your eyebrows. You distinctly remember going to get drinks after Jeongguk told you about the divorce, but everything after the moment you left the food truck was blurry. You gag, and clutch your mouth as you run to the restroom and empty your stomach into the toilet bowl. Nayeon just follows you silently and pats your back as you cough. “Damn, haven’t seen you get drunk in a really long time.”

You groan, flushing and grabbing your toothbrush. “Ugh, I remember why I hate drinking, I’m a fucking lightweight and hangovers suck.”

You finish brushing your teeth and grab your phone to send Jeongguk a quick text as you eat your cereal.

[To: JK, 11:01 AM] Hey, thanks for bringing me home last night. Ugh, I have a horrible headache :(

Usually Jeongguk is quick to respond, but even after finishing your cereal and getting out of a long hot shower, your phone is silent. You assume he’s busy with practice and reply to Jihyo and Jungyeon.

[To: group message, 11:32 AM] Hi, im awake

[From: Jihyo, 11:33 AM] good morning sleeping beauty, it’s been a while since u woke up so late

[To: gm, 11:33 AM] Sorry i got shit drunk last night :( and i passed out until now

[From Jungyeon, 11:33 AM] uh WTF with who? tfti

[To: gm, 11:34 AM] jeongguk

[From: Jungyeon, 11:35 AM] ugh I told you to be careful of him! what if he like convinced u into sex or something?!

[To: gm, 11:35 AM] ugh shut up he even put me in bed, relax

[From: Jihyo, 11:37 AM] just be thankful it wasn’t his bed

[To: gm, 11:37 AM] omg its not a big deal stop

[From: Jihyo, 11:37 AM] its so obvi u like him, we’re just trying to protect you.

[From: Jungyeon 11:38 AM] ya...heard from lisa today that the rumor is true. he humped and dumped jennie the other night

[From: Jihyo, 11:38 AM] omg... srsly, why do you even like him?

You set down your phone with a groan, curling up in your sheets, feeling a bit sick again at the reminder of the fact that Jeongguk did not see you as anything other than a friend. Which explains why he was okay with tucking you in with no problem and fucking a gorgeous girl like Jennie. You sighed as you closed your eyes.

Jeongguk growls as he benches another five pounds on his personal best. Gritting his teeth he lifts the bar once, twice, before clanging it back on the original position, his phone lying discarded next to him. What a fucking joke.

It was just his luck that you were too drunk to remember what exactly had happened. Just his luck that he ended up falling for the one girl that was exactly the kind of girl who deserved more than guys like him. You understood him, you were independent, kind, real, smart, sassy, funny, and everything he’d wanted in a girl. But he was the kind of guy who did one-night stands, who ended up unknowingly winning the bet on who got to fuck Jennie first, played football and was forced to attend huge parties where he got piss drunk again and ended up waking up with a ranging headache and an unknown body naked next to him. Rinse, and repeat.

He never intended for it to become like this. What started as just getting accustomed to the team and its dynamics ended up in him developing an ego much too big for him to control, and a sex drive that he indulged too much. And now, it was too late. For once, he’d found something he wanted to prove himself to, pouring into his studies to impress you and convince you that he wouldn’t fuck you over like other athletes, and going lengths to salvage a friendship with you instead of scaring you off with the rumors of him being a fuckboy. The actions he did were genuine, he loved being able to walk you home to spend just a few more minutes with you, and tried his hardest to never miss your food truck nights. Whenever he saw you struggling with the huge textbooks, he found it natural to just sling his football bag over his shoulder and grab it from you, the thankful gleam in your eye when you smiled at him a much more than generous prize for his actions.

You were different. You were honest, yet kind. You were funny, but still he found it so easy to just spill all his thoughts and concerns to you. You were so, so smart and diligent, and he really thought it was your most attractive feature, how driven you were on accomplishing something. And most important to him, was the fact that you knew him. He’d scrolled through your other texts that night, seeing how you defended him against your friends’ quite valid accusations about him. And his heart sank when he realized you harbored feelings for him since a while ago, feeling that he returned but was too much of an asshole to own up to.

Because you truly deserved better.

He was pumping again when Shownu walked up to him, offering to spot him. Jeongguk nodded and continued pumping the bar. The older boy commented, “Hey, so, you know that girl you’ve been hanging out with recently? Y/N?”

Jeongguk pauses, “What about her?”

Shownu grins, “Well Wonho and I have a bet going on to see which one of us can a nerd’s virginity first. And since you know this girl, wanna hook me up?”

It all happens way too fast. Jeongguk slams the bar down in its place and gets up from the bench and lunges at Shownu, landing a hard punch straight on the linebacker’s jaw and kneels on top of him with his hands at the collar of his shirt. “Don’t you fucking dare to try that shit with her! I’ll fucking kill you!” He yells out, shaking the guy.

The other guys training in the gym run over, grabbing the quarterback and yanking him away from Shownu, who’s bleeding from a busted lip. Smirking he taunts Jeongguk. “Why, you like her or something? Ha! Should’ve known your style was a cutesy little quiet nerd like her.”

Jeongguk lunges again, but Jimin is there to pull his arms back. “Yo, bro, quit it. If coach sees, you’ll be off the team.” He mutters, and Jeongguk calms down, breathing heavily. He yanks his arms away from the boys and stomps towards the locker room.

Jimin looks at Shownu who smirks at Jeongguk’s retreating figure. He’s never seen the younger one so angry before. “Not cool man.” He glares at the linebacker before jogging after Jeongguk.

He finds the younger player sitting on the locker benches, his head in his hands.

“Hey, bro, you ok?” He sits besides Jeongguk and waits for him to respond.

“I’m fine.” He grits out and Jimin frowns. “Uh, well, you’re clearly not, so I’m not gonna leave until you tell me what’s been up your ass this whole time.”

When Jeongguk doesn’t respond, Jimin carefully tests the waters. “Is it... is it Y/N?”

Jeongguk stands up, grabbing his towel and heading towards the showers. “I don’t want to talk about it hyung.”

Jimin watches him leave and glances at his phone on the bench. In the lock screen is another unopened message that Jeongguk probably hasn’t seen yet.

[From: Y/N, 12:43 PM] Hey, are you ok? Can we talk?

So he gets an idea and swipes the message open, using the quick reply option to text back a response before tucking it into the pocket of Jeongguk’s duffel bag.

[To: Y/N, 12:44 PM] Yeah, meet me at the game tonight. We can talk after. Wear my jersey.

You’re a bit giddy at the thought of finally going to one of Jeongguk’s games. Apparently, according to Nayeon, getting invited to a football player’s game wa a pretty big deal. In addition, wearing his jersey was also a pretty clear sign of interest. A glimmer of hope was in your chest, because Nayeon also mentioned that no girl had been invited to Jeongguk’s games, and better yet, he’d never invited any girl to wear his jersey before.

Not even Jennie. So you smile as you check your hair, curled to perfection, once last time and smooth the jersey over your jean shorts. You’d paired some regular black converse with the look and a white t-shirt underneath the jersey to make the emerald green and yellow colors pop. Turning around, you smile at the large 58 with “JEON” stitched over it. Someone had dropped off the jersey at your door, and you suspected it was the one who lived three floors up.

You check your phone and text Jihyo and Jungyeon that you’re on your way as you hitch a ride with them to the game. They, despite being quite studious, were still into the football games and went often. So you decide to sit with them. The bleachers are already packed when the three of you arrive, and Jihyo breaks off to go buy your snacks, and you and Jungyeon go to find some good seats. Thankfully, theres a small space for the three of you pretty close to the middle front, and you plop down before someone else can get it.

Jihyo returns and you three chew on your nachos and hot dogs happily as you watch the game. You avoid their prying questions about your jersey and watch as Jeongguk literally owns the team. The stands erupt in cheers as he scores another touchdown, and he doesn’t even give them a glance as he runs back to center. You scream along with them, pumping your fists into the air and yelling his name.

But he doesn’t even look your way, though, you note with a disappointed purse of your lips.

Maybe its because he’s so into the game, you think, and you stand up to go to the restroom when halftime is called.

You’re standing in line for a refill of your drink per sans Jihyo’s request, when someone taps you on your shoulder. You whirl around to see someone in a jersey with a helmet on so you smile widely.

“Jeongguk?”

The figure whips his helmet off and only then, you recover from your excitement and realize that this guy is shorter than Jeongguk and has a different number on his jersey. A handsome guy, with red lips and sweaty black hair smiles down at you. “Hey, Y/N right?”

You nod hesitantly, gripping the cups in your hand. Since when did football boys know your name? “Uh, yeah. And you are?”

He tucks his helmet under his arm. “Wonho. Nice to meet you. What brings you here? Jeongguk?”

You nod, biting your lip as you take his outstretched hand. He holds on a little too long for your liking. “Um, yeah.”

He smirks down at you, licking his lips. Other people in the line are glancing at the receiver chatting up the girl who had Jeongguk’s jersey on. “You guys dating or something?”

You frown, “Uh, no, but it’s none of your business.”

He holds up two defensive hands. “Woah, my bad. It’s just because I wanna get to know you a little better. How about you come to the afterparty?”

“What afterparty?”

He cocks his head as he hears a whistle, signaling for him to make his way back. “Basically, this team here is good, but we beat them every single year. We have parties whenever we win, and Jeongguk will be there too! You should come! Just hitch a ride with anyone and they’ll be going to Seokjin’s house. That’s where the party’ll be!”

When you hesitate, he just throws another smirk at you as he jogs backwards. “See ya there!” He turns and runs towards the pit. And you step up to your spot in line, confused, but a little excited.

As expected, your college’s team wins with an easy victory, and the crowd erupts in cheers. Jimin yells into the mic about the party, and the football team disappears into the pit. You try to follow, to try and get a conversation with Jeongguk and congratulate him, but you’re swept away by the rush of people getting out of the stands and into the carpools to Seokjin’s party. Sighing, you give up and hitch a ride with some girls from your math class to the house.

It’s a huge mansion, the frat house, and is already booming with music and drunken people are dancing lewdly when you enter. It’s your third time at a party like this, and you recall why you haven’t forced yourself to come again to something like after the second. Parties like this weren’t your thing, and you hated how hot and claustrophobic it felt and how loud these things were.

But you tack on a smile as you see the football boys getting out from their trucks in the parking lot a few minutes later, freshly showered and greeting the guests with handshakes and loud cheers. Before you can spot Jeongguk though, Wonho, from earlier jogs up to you with a wide smile.

You can’t help but feel a tiny bit cautious around him, something about him was so off-putting. But he greets you politely, and smiles as he maneuvers you away from the entrance of the house and towards the kitchen. You look back to try and catch a glimpse of Jeongguk, but he’s quite insistent, so you let him guide you away. Leaning against the bar, he asks, “So how are you liking the party.”

You bite your lip as you eye the dance floor and the overflowing drinks. “Um, I just got here so...” He notices your hesitation and smiles, “Well, then you gotta drink!” Ignoring your protests, he walks away from the counter, claiming to grab you a drink. You watch him leave with a pout, wanting to just go find Jeongguk.

You sit down on a stool, observing your surroudings. The large living room has been converted into a dance floor, the DJ on the second floor bouncing along with the crowd to a loud beat that’s ringing in your skull. You can see couples giggling and jogging up the steps to hide away in one of the countless rooms, or making out furiously in the corners. In the dining room, there are boys who are chanting, “Drink drink drink!” at the new frat boy recruits, holding the poor kids above their heads as they stick a tube into his mouth and force him to chug the bag of beer. On the dining table, some people are doing body shots. You cringe as in the den you can see some guys whipping off their shirts and girls giggling as they remove theirs too in a game of strip poker.

Was this the kind of world that Jeongguk enjoyed when he wasn’t hanging out with you? You frown as people elbow you and bump into you as they drunkenly stagger towards the dance floor, regret rising in you as you strain your neck to see where Jeongguk is. But he’s nowhere to be found.

Actually, he’s sitting in the living room, in a corner where a few couches are clustered, sipping on his drink as he boredly ignores the chatter of the annoying girl next to him. He shakes off her arm when she gets too close, and rolls his eyes when she leaves with a huff. Jimin notices and plops down next to him. “Bro, you feeling better after the game?”

Jeongguk finishes off his cup with a glare. “What are you talking about?”

Jimin is drunk, clapping Jeongguk on the shoulder. “Well, you won, and Y/N was there to see it and all!”

Jeongguk whips his head to him. “What did you say?”

Jimin laughs again, too drunk to see his mistake. “I invited her to the game since you were too much of a little dramatic pussy to actually invite her yourself. She wore your jersey and everything!”

Jeongguk stood up, knocking Jimin off his balance. “Where is she?” But Jimin was too drunk to respond, and passed out against the couch.

“What the fuck?!” He grits out, grabbing his hair in frustration. There was a reason why he didn’t invite you to these things. It was because he didn’t want you to see how dirty these things were, and definitely after hearing what Shownu said the other day, didn’t want you fifty fucking feet near another football player.

Yugyeom, one of the nicer boys from the team pipes up from the corner. “I think she’s here, Jeongguk.” He says lowly, and Jeongguk gapes. “How the fuck did she get here?”

Yugyeom shrugs. “Not sure, but I saw her in the kitchen with Wonho hyung.”

“Fuck!” Jeongguk surges up and out of the living room with a start, and storms into the kitchen. He sees Wonho leaning into you with a smirk and offering you a cup and he runs up and knocks the red thing out of your hand before you can lift it up to your lips.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He seethes at you, and he hates how his gut clenches at your face that splits into a bright smile like a fucking thousand christmas lights. “Jeongguk!” You exclaim, as he surprises you. “Uh, Wonho here invited me.”

He turns to the smirking older male. Stepping up to him, he snarls, “You do anything to her, I’ll fucking kill you.” Wonho eyes the drink on the floor with a smirk and Jeongguk realizes with anger that the bastard had probably spiked the drink in order to win the bet. Glaring up at the male, he grabs his collar and growls, “I swear to god, you and Shownu better call off that fucking bet right now or I’ll make sure you won’t be able to say anything with that dirty little mouth of yours.”

You jump up and grab onto Jeongguk’s arm, trying to pry him off of Wonho. “Jeongguk! Jeongguk, stop, it’s not a big deal! He was just being nice!”

Wonho just sleazily smiles and yanks Jeongguk’s hands off of him. “Hear that? I was just showing her around. No need to get your panties in a twist man.” Patting his collar off, he assures the collecting crowd that everything was okay before winking at you and walking towards the cheerleaders. Jeongguk tenses up and pulls you behind him when he winks, and when Wonho disappears out of sight, turns to you with a glare. He sees you wearing his jersey, and wonders how the fuck that fell into your hands and how fate had messed up and dragged you straight into the trap that he was dreading on you witnessing.

He grabs your wrist, ignoring the way you look up at him in slight fear, and drags you outside, where it’s decently quiet, away from prying eyes.

“Ow, Jeongguk, let go!” You hiss as he finally lets go of your hand. You cradle it to you, the skin there red from his tight grip. He’s angry, and you’re not exactly sure why.

“What’s your problem? You’re the one who invited me here and you’re acting like a little ass right now!” You yell, tears pricking your eyes.

He visibly softens at the sight and steps up to try and comfort you. “Y/N, I’m sorry, that wasn’t me. One of the hyungs sent the text to you as a joke and dropped off my jersey to fool around with me.”

Your heart sank at the words. He was angry because he didn’t want you here, didn’t want people like you mixing in with his friends. He watches as your expression falls and realizes how you misunderstood his words.

“W-wait, Y/N, I didn’t mean it like that, wait,” He reaches out for your hand again, but the angry tears are already falling and you wipe them away with your hand before glaring up at him. You whip off the jersey, leaving you in only your white t-shirt and tearily croak out, “No, Jeongguk, I get what you mean.” and turn away and run down the sidewalk towards the bus stop. He catches the jersey and groans as he turns to run after you, but suddenly the music gets louder and his teammates rush him.

They lift him up on their shoulders and throw him around, “Cheers to the quarterback! Drink! drink, drink!” They shove a shot into his hands and cheer as Jeongguk downs it, but by the time he comes back out and looks for your figure, you’re gone, the bus stop empty.

What he doesn’t know is that while you were waiting at the bus stop, you were waiting for him too. One word, one action, and you were ready to apologize. But then you’re hugging yourself as the weather gets a little too cold, and someone walks up to you.

“Well, isn’t it Y/N? The bitch that’s been dragging our Jeongguk-ie around on a leash.” You look up to see Jennie and her posse of girls glaring at you in their cheerleading outfits.

You stand up, frowning. “Excuse me?”

Jennie rolls her eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me, bitch. You call him your best friend and always try to get him to go on your little food truck dates. The entire school knows by now. What a joke.” Her friends titter as she smirks and continues, crossing her arms.

“Let me warn you. Stay the fuck away from him. You know he’s been missing out on some of the parties because of you? And because of that he’s also been missing out on getting to know the team and the cheer squad. And it’s all because of your stupid little dates and you dragging him to the library. Give him some space, and stop making his life into a little charity event.” With that, she turns on her heel and walks away. The bus pulls up with a screech, and you clamber on, numb and still reeling in shock.

You plop down on the seat, exhausted, and curl up in the corner and try to press yourself into as small of a ball as you can manage. Because the tears were coming, and this time, there was no one to hug you and make them go away.

Jeongguk wakes up again, recognizing the guest bedroom of the frat house, groaning as he rubs his eyes. It was 4 AM, and next to him a girl was passed out. With a glance at her face, he recognizes her as Rose, one of the girls from Jennie’s friend group and groans, realizing that this was going to cause ten times more drama than he wanted. Rolling out of bed, he grabs his clothes, a can of beer, and his phone and runs out, stepping over sleeping bodies and puddles of beer to get out of the house.

Last night was a mess. After you left, he threw himself into the alcohol, unable to man up enough to give you a call or even get in a taxi and try to find his way home, where he knows you’ll be. Because despite wanting to reach out and hug you close and reassure you that he’ll never hurt you again, is the nagging reality that literally, good girls like you deserved so much more than bad boys like him.

So he digs his hands in his pockets against the cold breeze and begins briskly walking towards home. By the time he reaches the area, the sun has begun rising and he swigs back the drink and stumbles up the stairs towards your apartment.

He collapses against it, forehead against the cool metal of your door, and bangs on it, yelling your name.

After his drunken antics, two girls open the door, that he recognizes through his haze as Jihyo, your close friend, and Nayeon, your roommate. They glare at him with squinted eyes, clearly having been woken up by his fuss.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jihyo hisses. She makes a move to shut the door, but Jeongguk grabs the handle and yanks it back. “Please,” he mutters, “I need to see her.”

Nayeon shakes her head. “She hasn’t been able to sleep all night because of you. Don’t you think it’s right to give her a little space?” When he doesn’t respond, she tries to close the door again but he slumps against the frame, croaking, “Please, please.” When they don’t budge and just glare down at him, he begins yelling drunkenly into the hall behind them. “Y/N?! Y/N! Please, please, let me explain myself!”

Jihyo and Nayeon try to wrestle the door from him, and you emerge, your eyes red and puffy from crying. He stops and freezes when he sees you, and you walk up to him, and your friends disappear into the bedrooms to give you some spac.

“What do you want, Jeongguk?” You whisper, and his heart sinks at the way your voice quivers.

“I’m sorry. I never wanted to let you see me like that there,” he mumbles, still reeling from the drink. “I never invited you cause I didn’t want them to make bets on you,” he slurs, and you frown.

“Jeongguk, what are you even saying?”

He groans, slumping against the doorway. “’m just really scared of loosing you, that’s all...I really, you’re really m’ best friend ‘nd I like--” he slumps completely, and you scramble forward to catch him. Groaning under his weight, you steady yourself and call out to Jungyeon, and together, you both manage to shove him into the elevator and walk him to his apartment before letting him collapse onto the couch. He groans and mumbles your name and turns over, and you straighten up, glaring down at him with nothing to say.

Jungyeon groans, “I swear I’m gonna fucking neuter him if he even comes across my sight again. You don’t deserve to be hurt like this, Y/N.” At the last thought, the water works begin and large tears roll down your cheeks. She coos, “Aww, Y/N,” and holds you to her as you sob again, unsure of how to feel. She guides you out the door and tucks you into your own bed, watching as you cry yourself to sleep for the second time that night. Looking at the time, it was already way too early in the morning to go back to sleep, so she shakes Jihyo up and storms out of the house with a glare of determination.

“Okay, spit it out Park Jimin,” she snaps, crossing her arms at the frightened boy. “Or else I’ll literally grab the scissors over there in the cashier’s cup and jam it down your crotch.” Jimin glances nervously at the said cup and shakingly crosses his legs, cupping his family jewels.

“W-what’s going on?”

Jihyo rolls her eyes. “Oh, you know what’s going on. Why did you prank Y/N like that? We know you sent her the text with Jeongguk’s phone.”

He recalls the incident and winces. “Oh shit, my bad. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way.”

Jihyo glares, leaning forward with a glare. “My bad? My bad is what you say when you come and go to sleep before I even get a chance to take my pants off. My bad is what assholes like you say when you make a tiny mistake, not screw someone’s entire reputation and life over!”

He holds his hands up in defense. “Okay, okay! Jeez, you’ll never let me live down that moment ever, won’t you?” Sighing, he leans forward. “I only sent that text to her because Jeongguk was being a little pussy. He clearly likes Y/N.”

Jungyeon stops, “Huh?”

Jimin nods, “He got really mad when Shownu and Wonho made a bet on who can get into a nerd’s pants first. So when Shownu asked Jeongguk to set him up with Y/N, he flipped.”

Jungyeon curls her lip in a sneer. “You guys are literally, so disgusting.”

Jimin nods sheepishly. “Well, I wasn’t part of it, so...yeah. But anyways, Jeongguk really likes her but he mentioned that he can’t make a move because he doesn’t want her to get a bad reputation from him. Did you guys say something to him that made him think like that?”

Jihyo frowns, “Uh...well like we do tell her that she deserves better than him, like, practically everyday.”

Jimin groans. “Of course you do. And you literally convinced him to back off from Y/N, when all of us know that they really like eachother.”

Jungyeon and Jihyo exchange guilty looks. “Well,” Jungyeon pipes up, “Jeongguk isn’t really doing a great job of convincing us he can treat Y/N better otherwise, so, there’s that!”

Jimin shakes his head. “Trust me, he’s a really good kid. It’s just that when he’s with the team, the older guys sort of pressure him to drink and go get girls and it just sort of happens.” He shrugs, “That’s the entire environment of the team. But trust me, Jeongguk is one of the more conservative ones and has started sleeping around less with anyone since he started hanging out so much with Y/N. The whole Jennie thing was a mistake. He does it often when he gets stressed out or mad.”

Jihyo sighs, “You can’t expect us to think a guy like that is okay for our friend, do you?”

Jimin shakes his head. “You know, I can’t convince you that he’s good enough for Y/N. Cause to be honest, from what I’ve seen, she’s a great girl and practically no one I know is good enough for her.” Your friends nod in agreement. “But what you have to do is trust her, that she likes Jeongguk for a reason and keeps him around for a good reason.”

They exchange looks as they nod slowly, uncrossing their arms.

“Hey, Y/N,” someone calls out, and you break out of your thoughts while sitting alone at the library. It felt too empty and cold there to get any work done anyway. When you catch sight of Jimin coming your way you sigh and turn back to your work.

“Woah, hey, hey. Please just give me a listen. Let me explain myself.”

You turn to him with a tired expression. “Explain what?”

He sits down, facing you with a solemn expression. “I-I just wanted to apologize.”

You lift your eyebrow and he continues. “I didn’t mean to make it seem like a prank. Jeongguk had just been moping around all day and not confronting his feelings for you and so I just wanted to help him out a little. I had no idea he wouldn’t notice you were at the game, and no idea you would come to the party.”

You run a hand through your hair. “I don’t really care about the text thing Jimin. I’m angry because of how Jeongguk acted at the party and how he’s just treating me like I don’t belong.”

He sighs, leaning back in his chair. “Don’t you understand? You don’t belong.” He raises a hand to stop you from cutting in as he continues, “You’re so much better and kinder and smarter than all of us, and people like us don’t deserve to hang out with girls like you. That’s why, Y/N, that’s why he didn’t want you to come to the party, because guys like Wonho were betting on who could get you into bed the fastest.”

“Th-they did what? A bet?!” You stutter, your breath coming out in short gasps.

He nods, “Yeah. They’re the seniors on our team so no one really says anything about it but they’re really douchebags.”

You think to how oddly nice Wonho was to you and scoff. They were really trashy human beings.

He leaves with a final statement. “Trust me, Jeongguk cares for you. But sometimes, people like you deserve better, so people like us try to stay away.”

Jeongguk stares down at the jersey in his hands, it still smelling slightly of your natural scent, and he fists the material as he grits his teeth. He missed you like crazy. Jimin had woken him up this morning and told him what chaos he made at 4 AM in the morning at your house and Jeongguk was so fucking pissed because even if he tried to, he couldn’t stay away from you.

“C’mon team, let’s go!” The coach yells and whistles and Jeongguk shrugs on his original game jersey on with a grimace, pulling on his helmet and mouthguard. He jogs out with his team, the stands erupting in cheers as the team runs out.

The team huddles and the coach reads out instructions for their plan of attack. Jeongguk was on the offense again this time as the quarterback. He zones out a bit as they yell coordinates, and Jimin pats him on the back.

“Hey, Jeongguk, you okay?”

He shakes his head, and Jimin pats his helmet. “Hey, do your best okay? She’s here.” He jogs away as Jeongguk whips off his helmet and mouthguard, and he turns around and scans the bleachers filled with people.

But there are too many people in the stands, and he can’t find you and his coach yells his name before he can jog over to see where you are.

You watch him from the sidelines, a hat stuffed over your eyes as you watch him hesitate as his eyes scan the bleachers. You duck your head even further until he runs off and joins his team and look back at him, the blaring 58 zipping across the field to take center position. Jimin had told you that Jeongguk was avoiding you because he felt like he wasn’t good enough, and if he was telling the truth, you were here to give Jeongguk one last chance.

All you wanted was some honesty. Because he probably had no idea how much you loved him, and how much you were willing to forgive everything he had done as long as he was willing to work with you.

Your mind wanders as the game progresses, drowning out the cheers and screams from the stands. You pick at the holes on your jeans as you watch the game progress, and get up to grab a drink. You step down the metals steps and slowly make your way to the concession stand, making sure to keep your cap low over your eyes.

Suddenly, a hand grabs you and whirls you around. You gasp in surprise as you spin around to see Wonho smirking down at you.

“Going somewhere?” He sleazily grins down at you, scanning your body shamelessly.

You yank your wrist out of his hand and face him with as fierce of a glare as you can muster. “Get the fuck away from me Wonho,” you hiss.

“Ooh, feisty,” he mewls, an arm slipping around your waist.

But you grab it and crack his fingers towards his wrist, and he yelps with a growl, and tries to get out of your grip, when you kick him right in the crotch. Jeongguk had once taught you to aim there in self defense. He groans and falls to his knees, clutching at his balls. “What the actual fuck,” he groans and glares up at you. You glare at him, and grab your drink and walk away with a smirk. “If I ever catch you doing shit like those stupid ass bets again on other women, I’ll quick you so hard you’ll never be able to fuck again.”

You walk out to the bleachers, expecting to see the game proceeding as usual, but no players are out running and are huddled at the corner of the field. You tap a girl who’s whispering with her friends. “Hey, I’m sorry, what happened?”

“Jeon Jeongguk got hurt!” She exclaims, pointing at the huddle. “The other quarterback ran into him really hard and he’s not getting up.

You drop your drink as you sprint towards the middle, but the fence prevents you from from running onto the field. You watch desperately as players and medics scurry around Jeongguk.

“Is it a concussion, coach?” One of the players asks.

The medic shakes his head. “I don’t think so. But I have no idea why he’s suddenly so weak.”

Jimin scrambles down and pats Jeongguk’s cheek. “Hey! Get up! Y/N is here! You can’t give up right now!” Jeongguk opens his eyes and pants heavily. Jimin helps him sit up, “There you go, she’s right there!” He points towards you and you watch as they yell something at Jeongguk before helping him up and point at you. You’re confused because you can’t hear anything, but Jeongguk nods at whatever Jimin yelled and gets up slowly, grabs a drink, and then faces you.

Everything stops, when he finally sets his sight on you, and he can see the worry on your face from halfway across the field. You’re gripping onto the fence and straining to see him. He musters up his courage, ignoring the way he was winded when the other quarterback slammed a bit too hard. But he was okay, and seeing you made everything even better. He smiles, and waves at you, and you burst into tears at the sight, relieved that he’s okay.

With that, he turns and grabs his helmet, his members encouraging him as he joins once again on the field.

He leans down, hands coming down to grip the grass. He remembers how you looked at him, desperate to see if he was okay. Jimin grunts out something, “Go get her, Jeongguk!” And begins yelling out instructions for the team. “Alright, 62, hike!”

“Right right right!” “Lets...go!” “Hold your block, hold it!” “Go!”

The whistle blows and the players rush at each other as the timer begins. Jeongguk grunts as he runs with the ball straight towards the goal post, and players jump and fall behind him, trying to grab his tail. His linebackers slam into the other boys, their shoulders slamming against shoulder pads and grunts echoing across the field.

He yells as he strains his legs to run as fast as he can, the time ticking as the game draws to a close in a few seconds. Grunts and yells echo behind him, but he can’t think of anything else as he runs and runs towards the two yellow bars in front of him. He tumbles as he runs past the white line on the grass, and the bleachers erupt in cheers as he makes it past the yard line the moment the clock buzzes 0.

But he drops the ball and doesn’t stop running, making a U-turn from the end of the field to come running straight to the bleachers. His teammates yell out for him, jogging after him towards the bleachers, but he doesn’t stop, because he has his sights on you.

He whips off his helmet, and finds you behind the fence, which he hops without a blink, and waits until he’s in front of you. You’re looking up at him with trembling lips and teary eyes, and he smiles down at you, you’re seriously the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.

He runs the last few steps and grabs you by the waist, lifting you clear off the stands and pressing you to his body. You begin crying, blubbering as he spins you and sets you down on the dirt of the field and leans down to hug you, a strong arm wrapped around your waist to keep you from collapsing and another pressed on the middle of your back, pressing your chest to his.

And he sets you down, ignoring the whoops and hollers behind him. He cradles your cheek in his hand, leaning down to smile at you. You blubber, “Are you okay? You’re feeling okay? Jeon Jeongguk, I swear you had me worried sick I thought-”

He smiles and whips off your cap, swoops down, interrupting your crying, and presses his lips hard against yours. You gasp into the kiss as he swipes past your lips, moving his lips against yours with desperation and joy and happiness. He grits against your lips, his smile so wide he can’t kiss you properly. “I like you, Y/N. No, I think I love you. And I’ve been so stupid because I don’t deserve you. But I also don’t ever want to see you walk away from me again. I’m gonna fight for you.”

You smile up at him, tears still streaming down. “A-are you sure?”

He smiles, leaning down to capture your lips in another breathtaking kiss.

“I’m so sure.”

It’s the night of your one-year anniversary with Jeongguk, the first week of senior year, and you’re currently at his house to work on a group project together.

Correction: you’re currently making out with your boyfriend on his couch, the assignment forgotten on the kitchen table.

He groans as you perch on his lap and peck his lips teasingly, his hands coming up to grab your waist as a warning. You giggle and hold his cheeks as you lean down to press your lips hard against his, dipping your tongue against his lower lip and then nipping at it, earning another warning. “Y/N...”

You smile as you wrap your arms around him, and situate yourself a little more comfortably on his lap, while, is currently trying his hardest not to spring up a boner at the feeling of you wiggling your ass into his lap. His hands are on your waist though, and his body betrays him because he subconsciously digs his fingers into the small of your waist and presses you closer against his chest. He practically melts at how soft you are and how warm you feel against him, and tries to hold himself back. Even though it’d been a year since you’d made it official, and a blissful year at that, he’d been careful on how far you two went. He knew you had boundaries that you were careful about, and never wanted you to feel pressured into taking your relationship a bit further.

But with the way you kissed him and pressed your breasts to his chest and wiggled your hips against his crotch, his dick was saying otherwise.

“Fuck, Y/N, if you keep this up, I’m not gonna be able to stop,” he groans as he distracts himself by kissing down your jaw, licking hesitantly at the crook near your ear, making you sigh above him.

You hesitate, thinking about how hard you thought about regarding taking your relationship with Jeongguk further. You were still a little scared, because you’d initially wanted to take it to the next step a while ago, but you also wanted to go slow. And on this night, when the moon was high up in the air and some stupid episode of some TV show was blaring in the background of his house, you were way, way too much in love with this man underneath you to think about anything else. It was the perfect moment.

You lean down, kissing him desperately. He groans again, and you detach from him, smiling down at him and thumbing his swollen lips and giggling at his blushing cheeks and overblown pupils.

“I-I think I’m ready.”

“W-What?” If possible, his eyes get even wider and his cheeks blush scarlet red as he gapes up at you.

“I love you, Jeon Jeongguk.” His hand comes up to swipe your hair away from your face, and he smiles. “I love you too. Are you sure?”

You lean down and wrap your arms around him, smiling as he lifts you up and carries you towards his bedroom.

In this moment, when his arms are around you and you’re in just your pajamas and he in his, everything feels so right.

“I’m so sure.”

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