#Teaboot

[teaboot]

One time my mom took me to a hibachi grill with a bunch of her friends and if you've never been to a hibachi grill basically the draw is that theres a bunch of interactive performance stuff done by the cook who cooks for you at your table, and one of the tricks they did at this one was take a squeeze bottle full of liquor and shoot it into your mouth across the table (with permission)

And now at our table my mom explained this because it was my first time going, and she wanted to make sure to warn me it was liquor because she knows I don't drink- she just said "if he offers to shoot at your mouth, say no because it's alcohol".

And so the chef does his thing and it's all very impressive, but the time does come where he pulls out this squeeze bottle of booze and asks me if I wanna try

I of course say no, because I really don't do alcohol, so he moves on to someone else

And I watch, and slowly come to understand that this is some sort of game, because once someone is drinking from the continuous flow the chef starts counting "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

I realize that we're trying to see who can keep drinking the liquor from three feet away without choking or spilling, and its a bummer cause i kinda wanna try and I CAN'T

But he goes around the table with everyone there, and I think my mom makes it to three, one friend makes it to five, I think my brother got to three as well, and he comes back to me

And I'm REALLY bummed out now but I will not drink alcohol, so I sort of sadly repeat that I can't when he pulls out a SECOND BOTTLE and grins and goes "juice?"

And Im like FUCK YEAH LET'S GO and I'm a bit worried he's gonna spray it into my eye or something but he doesn't, it hits me right at the back of the throat, and I start drinking while the whole fucking table counts "ONE! TWO! THREE!"

And like

It just sorta

Kept going?

And Im looking at the chef and he starts freaking out by the time we get to six, and at around seven I kinda start looking around and my auntie is staring back in shock, my brother is laughing his ass off and my mom has her face in her hands

And then at like nine or ten it gets like. Super tense and quiet, and only the chef is still counting

And I guess it got too much for even him cause we're at eleven and I don't believe in quitting early and it is almost painful how awkward it's getting

So he cuts me off at twelve and raises his hands in the air and everyone else cheers and claps like a dumb movie

and I just sit back in my seat to look back at my mother staring at me surrounded by everyone she knows, bright fucking red in the face and choking with honest to god tears in her eyes and she puts her face back in her palms and starts chanting "I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know"

So I give her the biggest, proudest grin and tell her, "I won."

So now every time something suggestive happens in a movie, or in conversation, or something shocking happens around us and she goes to jokingly cover my ears, I just ask her, "Remember when I won?" And she goes face-down and groans, because I know EXACTLY how she thinks I trained to develop that particular skill and she HATES knowing that about me

The truth is though, I'm a whole ass 28 year old virgin. I've never so much as kissed anyone in my life. I had no idea I could do that trick until that exact moment

But she doesn't know that, and I'm never gonna tell her

[starwolf999]

My dash did a thing

[lady0ri]

a meme I made:

[boot-tea]

What the hell do you people want why am I getting like four followers this week. Are you spies. For big yellow.

[kari-litli]

Why are so many cool people who I follow acknowledging my existence?

[hans-echo]

[ldfgamer]

Reposting because reblogs were turned off but this is what actual radical feminism should look like

[spider-artdump]

[lucy-is-bored]

HOLY FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING LOVE OF GODDING JESUS CHRISTING SHIT

TEABOOT! WELCOME TO BORED'S BELOVEDS!!!!

[sordideuphemism]

The Cubicus Boxfish

I saw this and immediately thought of @teaboot

Hope it brightens your day, tea!

(More data here: https://oceanconservancy.org/blog/2024/03/14/yellow-boxfish-cutest-fish-world/ )

[jazzically]

teaboot olaf rant 🤝 jurgen leitner rant

[teaboot]

Favourite things to say before doing something incredibly stupid:

Hey everybody watch this

I'm God's favourite

I'm always right and I'm never gonna die

(Person nearby) gets my crap if I beef it

I'm way too sexy to fuck this up

It's okay I've done this a hundred times

This is gonna to be on purpose

Hello you're watching Jackass

Check out this cool magic trick

If I die I want you to tell people it looked really cool

Wanna see a trick I learned in prison

It's okay, I saw this on TikTok

This is only illegal in Massetchuschessetts

My dad used to do this all the time before the divorce

If you're a cop you have to tell me or it's entrapment*

I'm doing this as a prank

Could a mentally ill person do THIS

Out of two thousand possible futures this is the only way we live

I have to. (Stupid thing I'm doing) killed my mom

The government doesn't want you to know this is even an option

I'm about to become so powerful you have no idea

[technicoloryuri]

https://www.tumblr.com/teaboot/758489684214267904/shut-up-zippertits here is one example I was able to find quickly, it’s mostly subtle “transunity” type stuff that’s hard to find.

He’s also a huge bootlicker

Alright, so based on just the single post mentioned in the ask, I was initially inclined to say "okay yeah that's kinda ignorant but it can be overlooked if he doesn't take a side elsewhere," but one of my mutuals also sent me the above message and post. And, looking into the post further,r it does seem that Teaboot does have a tendency to platform transmisogynists, and therefore I no longer want to platform them either.

Also, I do very much appreciate having a post from an Intersex Transfeminist. I've been wanting to look further into Intersex issues, and it's good to have a voice on the subject that takes transfeminism into consideration.

[alloalouette]

[sgdi]

I can't put a penis joke on such a pure post but it's screaming at me

[boot-tea]

Delighted to inform the masses that the post below this one was a teaboot post.

hey everyone its april fools. but dont worry i dont have anything planned. just going to sit here and...

I LIED !!!! GET PRANKED

POST BELOW ME GET FUCKING WET