#The Burning Desire | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thedivinereverie · 9 months ago

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A Burning Desire part five

firefighter!joel miller x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist

rating: 18+, minors dni

warnings: joel miller au, explicit content (smut– unprotected piv, oral [m & f receiving], fingering), lots and lots of (unsaid) feelings, angst (had to do it to ‘em one time [for the plot]), no use of y/n.

word count: 9.1k

synopsis: after spending an incredible weekend with joel, you finally realize how you truly feel about him—but with those feelings comes an ever-dreaded skepticism, which has you teetering on the edge of telling him or not.

There’s something about waking up in the arms of someone you really like.

And then there’s something about waking up in the arms of someone you love.

It’s a warm feeling; something that’s nearly indescribable as the butterflies rumble deep in your belly. It feels like silent devotion, being wrapped in strong arms with a warm chest pressed tightly against your bare back.

You didn’t think you’d ever get to experience this feeling again—but this time, certainty wraps securely around your heart and you feel so safe. You feel at ease. You feel like this is where you’re meant to be.

And hell, it really is. You’re finally letting your walls crumble, torn down brick-by-brick by the very man whose heart beats steadily against your back.

You’re in love with Joel Miller.

Your gaze flicks to the digital clock on your nightstand. It was early, but you were buzzing with too much anticipation and need to even think about going back to sleep. Ever so slowly, you rotate your body in his arms so you’re face-to-face with the beautiful man, trying your best not to wake him from his deep slumber. You admire his features like this; he’s so relaxed and at peace. The usual crease between his brows when he’s deep in thought or being stern about something is nearly nonexistent. You lean your head up and kiss him softly in that area, moving to the crook of his nose next.

His eyes twitch in the slightest, but besides that he’s like a log next to you, so you continue the featherlight assault of your lips on his warm skin: his cheek, the corner of his mouth, his forehead, and finally, his lips.

His body slowly wakes before his mind does, and you can feel his hard-on against your thigh. You softly giggle to yourself and admire that he’s so receptive to your touch and kisses even while he’s still nearly fully asleep.

You wanted nothing more than to wake him with your mouth taking his cock, but you haven’t crossed that threshold yet, nor has it been discussed between the two of you. So, you opt for continuously kissing his bare skin, moving down to his sturdy chest that’s dusted with a patch of hair.

He groans softly, body twitching now as he slowly peels his eyes open. You rest your chin on his sternum as his beautiful brown eyes land on you, taking in the sight before him.

“Good morning, cowboy,” you say, tracing light patterns on his pec with the tip of your index finger.

“Mmm,” he hums, “Mornin’ sweetheart. What time is it?”

He rubs his palms into his eyes, trying his hardest to fully wake himself up.

“Eight. Breakfast with the newlyweds is at ten,” you explain, grateful in this moment that your sister loves to sleep in when she can.

“Good. Means we can stay in bed a little longer,” he muses sleepily, head lolling back onto the plush pillows.

“Mmmhmmmm,” you exaggerate your hum, still tracing patterns on his chest.

He quirks an eyebrow at you, a smirk forming on his lips as if he can already sense what you want to do.

“Also gives me more time to love on you,” he says, tilting your chin up so your lips can meet his.

You gaze at him longingly, pressing another kiss to his chest—right over the strong beat of his heart.

“It’s my turn to love on you, cowboy,” you say. You don’t offer an explanation, but you begin to trail featherlight kisses down his chest and torso, moving your body down the mattress. You stop just above his navel, looking up at him with a daring glint in your eye.

He reaches down to cradle your cheek in his palm, rubbing his thumb back and forth across your skin lovingly.

“You don’t have to, baby,” his voice is soft, but with the way his cock looks right now—all veiny and hard with pre come leaking from the tip—you were nearly salivating. You wanted to ravish this man head-to-toe, starting with this.

“But I want to,” you simply say, shuffling down a little further. Joel deserves to feel the same pleasure he laid upon you just hours prior.

Something of a soft groan escapes his throat, and that only makes this carnal need, a desire in you, that much stronger to please him.

You gently grab his pulsing, silky flesh before giving it a couple of strokes. A sigh evades Joel’s lips, brows threading together before tossing his arm over his eyes, breathing becoming ragged.

You lean forward now, swirling your tongue around the tip before sucking on it gently. Joel inhales sharply, obviously trying to keep himself in control, but this is a battle you both know he wouldn’t win.

Your mouth is so soft and warm as you work around him, taking him in deeper. You keep a steady pace with the hand that’s stroking the rest of him that isn’t in your mouth, and you can’t help but lick the full underside of his cock.

“Holy shit, baby—” Joel breathily moans, and you decide to take things a step further by dragging your tongue down even further, paying special attention to his balls. Joel’s body jolts at the sensation, and the most guttural growl evades his chest and reverberates off of the hotel room walls.

You might be enjoying this too much as you lap him up, stroking his cock in tandem with the movements of your tongue. You finally let up on him, moving your mouth back to the heavy, silky flesh that pulsates in the palm of your hand.

You kiss his tip one more time before taking him as far down as you can, swallowing around him. You set a final steady pace then, bobbing your head up and down on him while using your hand once more to stroke what your mouth can’t reach.

You can’t help but close your eyes in bliss and relish every pass you make, knowing you get to be the one to make him feel good. You get to see him like this—bed head, stuttered breath, naked body, quivering under your touch and sweet mouth. It really couldn’t get any better than this, you think.

And you realize, you really are in love with this man. Every single inch of him, inside and out. A warm feeling wraps around your heart and squeezes, butterflies rumbling in your tummy for the millionth time. There really is no man like him, and you often think to yourself how lucky you are that he accepted your advances at the coffee shop.

“Fuck, darlin’, right there, right there,” he’s panting now, and you can’t help but open your eyes and enjoy the way the sun shines on his chest. His skin is coated with a sheen of sweat, making him glisten in such an ethereal way. Even the top of his brow is perspiring, despite the temperature in the room to be fairly chilly. One of your hands lands gently onto his thigh, lightly scratching his hot skin with your nails.

A groan rumbles from his chest once again, and it makes the pulsing between your legs ten times worse. You moan around him, dragging your hand that’s on his thigh down until it’s between your legs, fingers collecting your own slick before you begin to gently rub your clit.

You gasp at the sensation, not expecting to be nearly as sensitive as you are, and Joel’s head snaps up when he hears how wet you are. You don’t relent on him, though. You take him deeper into your mouth, trying your best to swallow around him as your other free hand massages his balls.

“Wh-What are you doin’?” His voice is desperate, strained and gravelly, and he can barely keep his eyes open at this point. He’s a mess in the most delicious way possible, and you hum around him, pleased with what you see.

Your hand is doing a half-assed job as trying to pleasure your own self. You know damn well Joel’s mouth or fingers would please you ten times more—hell, especially his cock. He proved that to you last night, and he had plans in mind to do it once again.

Joel’s body goes rigid and your hand leaves its position between your thighs, and you place it back on his own. He doesn’t hesitate to grab your hand and intertwine his fingers with yours while he’s frantically mumbling under his breath, clearly desperate for release.

You don’t break eye contact with him now as you only move your mouth to his tip, swirling your tongue deviously slow around him. Joel twitches and it’s like his body can’t help it—he comes on the spot. No warning or anything, but you take everything that he gives you onto your tongue graciously before swallowing.

You let up on him, giving his tip one more kiss. His body shivers at the sensation, and you continue to kiss his thighs, up to his torso, chest, neck, and cheek.

He’s still trying to steady his breathing while he grips your thighs so you’re straddling him, and it takes everything in you not to drag your needy, dripping cunt onto his length. You want to moan just at the thought of it, but you’re holding on to the last bit of self control you have, which really isn’t much.

“Hi,” you say, and you can’t help but smirk down at him.

“Didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth, sweetheart,” Joel’s heart rate is slowly steadying itself, but the sight of you on top of him like this isn’t helping much.

You think the poor man might need to get his blood pressure checked soon.

“Well, now you know,” you shrug, and he can’t help but chuckle and roll his eyes. His gaze settles on your face, and his hand moves up to cradle your cheek. You nestle your cheek into the warm touch of his palm and watch him watching you, eyes heady.

Your body is still buzzing with arousal, but you really didn’t want to ruin this moment with Joel. It seems as though he had other plans when his hand starts to trail down your body—the side of your neck, featherlight brushes over your collarbone, down your sternum, and your torso.

He stops short above your pulsing clit. He can physically see your arousal coating the inside of your thighs and feel your body trembling in the slightest.

“Oh, my poor baby,” he coos, “Now she’s all wet n’ needy for me, hm?”

You don’t say anything. You watch him steadily, and your heart was beating so fucking hard in both places that you wouldn’t be surprised if he could feel it.

His fingertips graze through the wiry hairs above where you need him most, and you’re not above begging him to touch you at this point.

You need him.

Joel shifts his hips upwards, which causes his cock to brush against your cunt. You whine lowly, eyes falling shut as your eyebrows thread together in desperation.

“Joel,” you breathe, and he shifts again. You’re so close to grinding yourself down on him, but he has other plans. He shifts your bodies so you’re now the desperate mess laying underneath him, and he’s tempted to just take you on the bed there, you think.

But he doesn’t. He looks down between your thighs, admiring your glistening, puffy cunt before leaning down to give you a searing kiss. You card your fingers through his hair instinctually, tugging on the ends of it.

Before things could escalate further, he separates himself from you and gets up from the bed.

You genuinely feel like you could cry from the subtle teasing and lack of attention to your achy core. Joel offers his hand out for you to take, and you grab it hesitantly before he drags you up and out of bed.

“What are you doing?” You echo his words from earlier, confused as to what he had in mind. He doesn’t say anything at first—just leads you into the big bathroom, opening the glass shower door. The floor was full of dark pebble stones which contrasted against the white walls, but it gave the shower a spa feel, especially with the built-in bench in the corner.

Joel turns the shower on and grabs your waist, walking you backwards into the shower with him. The shower door snaps shut, and he’s on you. He’s kissing you with this hunger you’ve never felt before, so intense that it nearly knocks the wind out of you.

You fist at his now semi-wet curls, pressing your body airtight to his. He moans into your mouth and his hands slide down to your ass, giving it a generous squeeze. You yelp in surprise and try to pull back, but he doesn’t allow it. One of his forearms is wrapped tightly around your torso while the other is against the shower wall. You’d probably fall if he wasn’t balancing you so well.

You felt weak in the knees, so enraptured by him. Every single cell in your body was screaming for his expert touch, for him to make you feel so good that you’d be thinking about this moment for weeks after.

He pushes you gently against the tiled wall, the coolness sending a shiver down your spine. His free hand snakes down your body, making sure to feel every single curve, scar, and dimple your body has to offer. He was silently praising you and if he wasn’t kissing you so ferociously at the moment, you’d be overwhelmed with emotions.

His hand eventually made its way to your torso, down down down until finally it’s where you need him most. You gasp into his mouth as his thick fingers slide through your slit generously, rubbing your clit slowly.

Your head falls back against the wall, lungs burning from lack of air. You didn’t care though, you were already seeing stars just by enjoying the intimacy of simply making out with Joel.

“So damn beautiful,” Joel murmurs, looking at you with a dark gleam in his eye. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him so ravenous for you. Just that very look makes your slick arousal stick between your thighs, wanting nothing more than to be devoured by him.

Your lips part and you try to say something, but your brain is all mush and your limbs are shaking with need. His lips travel from your jaw to your jugular, giving your skin a little nibble before proceeding down to your collarbone and down to your breasts.

He takes his time enveloping each pert bud into his mouth, toying with the other as he rolls it between his fingers.

Your breathy moans are all that can be heard besides the water hitting the pebbled floor. You grab onto the back of his head, chest heaving as he gets down on his knees. He’s staring up at you like you’re the most divine thing he’s ever laid his eyes on.

It makes heat rush to your face and you look away from the intensity of his gaze for a second. He grips your thighs, spreading your legs apart before shaking his head.

“Keep those pretty eyes on me, baby,” he says, voice gravelly with an undertone of desperation.

You bite your lip as you stare down at him, and he starts to leave a trail of kisses on your inner thighs. You brush his curls away from his face and give him a sweet smile, indulging in this little tender moment.

He separates from you for a second before giving you a wicked grin, the once tender moment fizzling into pure carnal desire.

“Don’t you hold back on me now, you hear me? I wanna hear those pretty sounds comin’ from my woman,” he says, and before you can respond, he dives his face right in between your thighs.

His tongue laps up all of the slick that’d gushed from you, moaning into you at the taste of your arousal.

You gasp and cry out his name, legs already trembling terribly.

If someone told you a year ago that a man would have so much of an effect on you like this, you would’ve laughed in their face. You didn’t even think it was possible to feel like this, but Joel has done nothing but prove you wrong time and time again in the best way possible.

“Fuck—oh, god,” you cry, feeling his tongue circle your clit before sucking on it profusely. A deep chuckle rumbles from his chest before he tears himself away from you, spinning you around so you’re now facing the wall.

You don’t even have time to process what was going on until you felt his tongue on you again, but this time he prods the muscle into you and begins to fuck you with it.

You whine loudly while clawing at the smooth surface of the tile, desperate to hold on to something. Joel pulls his tongue away from you before his hands slide up the back of your thighs to knead the plump flesh of your ass.

“Anyone ever touch you back here?” Joel’s question takes you by surprise. You nearly choke on your breath, but you shake your head with a faint response.

“No,” you say, and he hums.

“Can I?”

You try to clench your legs together at that, but his hands on you are too strong and prevent you from doing so.

“Please.”

He doesn’t say anything else. He leans in again, licking your core before moving his tongue up to where nobody has ever touched you. You choke on a gasp when his tongue circles the tight ring, and you nearly fall to your knees.

Christ, this man was going to be the end of you.

He kept steady for a while, licking you up like you were the most delicious thing he’s tasted. One of his hands slid up your inner thigh once again, but this time, it was to insert two of his fingers into you.

You’re a moaning, writhing mess above him and you’re slumped against the wall, rocking back onto his fingers and tongue. You feel the delicious warmth blooming in your belly, impending release coiling tighter by the second.

You reach behind you and curl your fingers through Joel’s locks, tugging on them. You let out a lewd moan as the groan that evades him vibrates your whole body. You look down, only to see him pumping his semi-hard cock. Just the sight of that alone nearly sends you over the edge.

“Joel, fuck, please—”

“C’mon baby, give it t’me. Wanna taste you coming on my tongue.”

And as if on command, your body gives in to his wishes. Your orgasm is forceful, ripping you apart at the seams as you scream his name. You really, really hope these walls are mostly soundproof.

He drags you up with him before you nearly collapse from weak legs, and he situates you on his lap as he sits down on the bench. You’re gasping still, face buried in his neck as he rubs your back gently.

“Jesus Joel, I really think you’re trying to kill me,” you huff, and you feel his shoulders shake from laughter.

“Kill you? Never, baby. Jus’ wanna give my girl the pleasure she deserves,” he kisses your temple before you pull back to look at him, eyes all glossy and hooded.

“Well she,” you pause to drag your fingertips over his warm, wet chest, “is one lucky woman.”

“Mmm, is she now?” Joel’s tone is teasing and playful, and he scoots your body forward so you’re skin-to-skin once more.

“Absolutely. You see the way those women were staring at you last night, knowing that you wouldn’t be going home with them, but with me instead?” You bring your face closer to his neck, giving his pulse point a few slow kisses. His hands move down to your hips, giving them a firm squeeze.

“I take pride in getting to call you my man, Mr. Miller,” you lick his neck, slowly trailing your tongue up until your lips reach his ear. You reach down between you both, palming his rock hard cock before sliding the tip through your slick folds, notching his tip at your entrance. “All. Mine.”

You sink down onto him, both of you moaning in tandem before catching his lips in yet another searing kiss.

He pulls apart from you for a second, sliding his hands down to your ass.

“Wasn’t payin’ attention to any ‘a those other women, baby. My eyes are for you and you only.”

The subtle possessiveness you two harbored for each other sent a thrill down your spine.

“Ditto,” you say, starting to rock your hips. Joel moans your name as his head knocks back against the wall, eyes closing in pure bliss. You lean forward and kiss his neck, keeping a steady pace.

“Fuck, baby. You really know how to drive a man crazy,” Joel’s breathless again, and you can’t help but giggle softly.

“Hopefully the good kind,” you nibble on his neck before separating from him, throwing your arms around his shoulders.

“Definitely the good kind,” he says, leaning in to kiss you again. This time it’s a bit more gentle, and once again, Joel reigns supreme at showing his heart on his sleeve just by how he kisses you.

I love you, Joel rolls around in your mind several times—so much so that you thought you’d slip and say it aloud.

Your thoughts are wrangled back to reality when you feel him separate his lips from yours, but staying close enough to kiss you again if he wants to. You begin to pick up your pace now and the feeling of him filling you is heavenly. Your eyes roll back and your jaw is slack, and he takes the opportunity to move you up and down on him.

You cry out his name again, head lolling back as he sets a brutal pace and fucks up into you.

“So fuckin’ pretty on my cock like this, baby. So fuckin’ tight,” Joel wraps his hand around the back of your neck, looking into your eyes as he continues to rock his hips. You’re moving to his rhythm, matching his pace—and the look he’s giving you makes you pulse around his cock.

“You’re so handsome,” you say, reaching a hand out to cup his cheek. And before he can deny your compliment, you kiss him like your life depends on it. It’s not long before you feel the familiar warmth coil in your belly once more.

“‘M getting close, Joel,” you cry against his lips, and he gives your ass a small love tap.

“Me too, sweetheart.”

Both of you were moaning rather lewdly, and at this moment, all that was on your mind was Joel. Not your sister and Josh or your family that’s probably already halfway done getting ready for breakfast—no, just Joel.

Joel Joel Joel.

The man was intoxicating and you were chasing the high every chance you got.

“Fuck, where do you want me? I-I’m about to–”

“In me. Joel, please, in me,” you beg, and he suddenly plunges his hand down between your bodies to rub at your already sensitive clit furiously.

Within seconds, your second earth-shattering orgasm of the day had you in shambles once again, screaming out his name as he pistoned in and out of you to chase his own high.

His hips stilled moments later as he came, burying his face into your neck as he groaned with every pulse of his cock.

Your bodies stayed stagnant for a while, wrapped up in each other as the warm water cascaded overhead. You were both pruny and absolutely fucked out, void of energy, but being so close to him like this made your heart flutter in the best way possible.

Joel repeatedly kissed the junction between your neck and shoulder, rubbing your back soothingly as you two caught your breaths. He pulled back, looking into your eyes once again with a satiated grin adorning his lips.

“How you feelin’ angel?” He asks, wiping the water droplets from your cheek.

“Incredible, cowboy,” you giggle, pecking his lips before shifting your hips to get off of him. Your legs were still shaky, but you managed to stand slowly. Joel watches as his spend drips from you, sliding down your inner thighs. He grabs your hand, prompting you to step closer to him. He reaches his hand between your thighs, gathering his spend on his fingers before standing up to his full height, a glint of mischief in his pretty brown eyes.

He brings his coated fingers to your mouth and you happily oblige, sucking his fingers clean with a soft moan.

Your eyes snap open as he removes his fingers from your mouth, and you raise your eyebrow. “No more messing around, Mr. Miller. We have a newlyweds breakfast to get ready for.”

”If I had it my way, I’d keep you in this room all day and show you every single way your beautiful body can be worshiped,” he doesn’t miss a beat in his words, confidence exuding him brilliantly.

You clench your legs together and fight the urge to hop out of the shower to give your sister a courtesy call and tell her you and Joel won’t be making it to breakfast, but the little bit of self control you harbored won the morality battle.

“As much as I’d absolutely love to do that, we really do have to go. My family would never let me live it down and I want to see Emily off before her and Josh leave for their honeymoon.”

“I know, baby. ‘M hopin’ we get more opportunities for this when we get back home,” he says, running a hand over his mustache and down his stubble.

“You can have me anytime you want, cowboy.”

You were surprisingly only twenty minutes late to breakfast. You and Joel made it down to the lobby, freshly showered and dressed nicely. He wore a black button down with the top two buttons undone, gray slacks, and black boots. You opted for something a bit more colorful, wearing a baby blue satin dress with white kitten heels.

You held onto Joel’s bicep for support, and despite the heels only being a half inch, your legs were still a bit wobbly—and not because you couldn’t walk in heels.

Joel nearly doubled down in laughter when he saw you trying to walk once you put the heels on, which earned him a glare and pouty lips. He kissed you anyway and told you how beautiful you look, pulling you in to his broad, warm body before promising to make his teasing up to you.

Your teasing is what got me here in the first place, you’d chastised him.

You found your mom and dad sitting outside at a long table with floral arrangements in the middle. Your dad’s plate was stacked with an assortment of breakfast foods, while your mom opted for an omelet and a croissant with coffee.

“Good morning you two,” your mom chirped, her smile beaming at you and Joel.

“Morning mama. Where’s everyone else…?” You ask, eyes drifting to the empty seats beside them.

“Andy and Cole are coming down in a few minutes. Emi and Josh are getting their breakfast right now,” she says, taking a sip of her caramel colored coffee.

You nod and set your cardigan down in the chair next to Emily’s.

“I’m gonna go get some food. I’m starving,” you say, and you catch Joel’s lip switch up into a subtle smirk out of the corner of your eye.

Your mom nods while your dad indulges in his breakfast, completely ignoring what you just said. A small laugh emits you as you turn to Joel, nodding toward the hotel.

“Hungry?” You ask him.

His smirk widens, staring at you with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

“Starving.”

Your face heats at his words, but luckily he said it low enough to where your parents didn’t hear him.

“You’re insatiable, Mr. Miller,” you walk with him toward the breakfast buffet area, grabbing two plates and handing him one.

“Can you blame me, baby? I got a beautiful lady on my arm, and she gets to come home with me,” he wiggles his brows, and you can’t help but laugh at how absolutely cheesy he can be.

One minute he’s got his face buried in your pussy telling you you’re the best thing he’s ever tasted, and the next he’s cracking jokes like you two weren’t doing anything sinful just an hour prior.

The duality of this man is truly unmatched.

You look around the room and see your sister plating a waffle, so you give Joel a kiss on the cheek before walking over to her.

“Well hello, Mrs. Martinez,” you say, and your sister whips her head around.

“God, it feels so weird hearing that. I love it so much,” she says, and you can’t help but smile at how happy she seems.

“Well, get used to it. You’re a married woman now, missy.”

“You probably won’t be far behind,” Emily teases, and your brows furrow.

“Emi, Joel and I have only been together for a couple of months,” you sound flustered, and your sister gives you a knowing look.

“So? When you know, you know, and what you and Joel have is special. I haven’t seen you this happy with anyone… ever, actually. Do you love him?”

Her question takes you aback. You know you do, but admitting it out loud makes it all one hundred percent real. You can’t continue being afraid of your emotions, even if it may seem like it’s too fast. Self-sabotage isn’t going to fly anymore. You can’t help how you feel.

“I do,” you finally say, and Emily breaks out into a face-splitting grin.

“Have you told him?”

You’re about to answer her, but Josh walks up to you both.

“Good morning, sis in law,” he grins, nudging your side.

“Well good morning to you too,” you laugh, giving him a side hug.

“We’ll talk more about this later,” Emily whispers, giving your forearm a squeeze, and you give her a nod. As her and Josh walk back outside, you turn to the spread of food and concentrate on getting your breakfast. You plate a waffle, potatoes, bacon and scrambled eggs before meeting Joel at the coffee station. He hands you a cup with coffee in it, just how you like it.

You sip it to taste test it, the warm liquid immediately rejuvenating your energy. “Mmm, my hero,” you tell Joel. “I was feeling really tired.”

“I wonder why,” he grins, following you outside to re-join your family.

“It’s ‘cus my man doesn’t know how to keep his needy hands to himself,” you shrug nonchalantly, and Joel rolls his eyes with a hearty laugh.

“Hey, as far as I’m concerned, you enjoyed these needy hands.”

You have to stifle a laugh as you approach the table again, taking your respective seats. You settled in between Emily and Joel, diving into your breakfast.

Andy and Cole show up a minute later, looking super sluggish and hungover. You and Emily share a nudge under the table, quietly laughing to yourselves.

”Look what the cat dragged in,” you tease your brothers as they both plop down on the opposite side of the table.

“Stop yelling so loud, Shadow,” Cole groans, and you can’t help but laugh. Idiots.

“For the love of god, get yourself some bread and coffee. It’ll wake you fools right up,” your dad grumbles, and Andy waves his hand.

“Fuck, fine. We will. C’mon Cole,” Andy stands up again, dragging your brother along with him.

Your mom and dad engage in conversation with Emily and Josh, your mom nudging Emily while wiggling her brows.

“I expect grandbabies after this honeymoon trip,” she wags her fork between Emily and Josh.

“Jesus, mom, give them a break. They haven’t even been married for twenty-four hours yet.”

Emily gives you a silent thank you look before your mom narrows her eyes at you, pointing her fork at you now.

“Hey, you probably won’t be too far behind your sister. Joel’s family now, baby. No goin’ back,” she smiles triumphantly, earning another round of groans from the table.

“Fucking hell,” you mumble, “Would you stop trying to scare him off, mom?” You sigh in exasperation, rubbing your temple.

“Can’t scare me off that easily, darlin’,” Joel says, giving your mom a wink. “I appreciate you thinkin’ so highly of me, Alexandria.”

Your mom shoots Joel a grand smile before Andy and Cole return to the table.

“How hard did you guys party last night?” Emily asks them.

“Too fuckin’ hard. Feels like I’m about to have this damn hangover for a week,” Andy says, groaning before taking a bite of toast.

“Well luckily checkout isn’t until three, so you can sleep before you hit the road,” your mom says, and they both sluggishly nod before silently eating their toast.

“So Joel,” your dad starts, and your attention snaps to him. “Got any siblings?”

“I do, actually. A younger brother. He works at the same firehouse as I do,” Joel says coolly, and you wonder briefly how he’s still so calm. You know if you ever got the chance to meet Joel’s parents, you’d be an absolute nervous wreck.

Joel kept the conversation going with your dad about Tommy, and the rest of your family chimed in from time-to-time. It was then when everyone was deep in conversation that Emily gave you another nudge. You turn your head to her, raising an eyebrow.

“You left pretty early last night,” Emily’s soft tone had a hint of mischief in it, and your eyes widened as you looked at her.

“Shit, I didn’t miss anything, did I?” You were running through the events in your head: couple’s first dance, dancing with the bride and groom, bouquet toss, cake cutting, family photos…

She giggles softly and shakes her head. “No, but with the way you looked last night, I wouldn’t be surprised if your cowboy couldn’t keep his hands off of you.”

Your face heats at her words. Fuck, she really knows you better than anyone on this planet. Your silence told her everything she needed to know. You swallow thickly, eyes roaming around the table.

Joel’s hand lands on your thigh, softly brushing his thumb back and forth. His subtle touch sends a shiver down your spine, and Emily notices.

You lace your hand with Joel’s and he gives yours a soft squeeze, all while continuing his engaging conversation with your family.

“Yeah, uh, we um—”

”You don’t even need to say it. I knew you looked a bit different this morning. You’re glowing, my beloved sister,” she says with a smirk, and you can’t help but bashfully smile.

“It was amazing. He’s amazing, Emi,” your voice is a mere whisper, not wanting to be overheard by anybody.

“I can tell he is. I’m so happy for you. After Christian,” she shakes her head, rolling her eyes at the mention of your ex, “I genuinely thought you wouldn’t be receptive to opening up and finding love again. I’m so glad you did. I love seeing you happy.”

Tears spring in your eyes at her words. You didn’t think you’d be receptive to love again either, but here you are with Joel—and fuck do you love him.

”Thank you for giving me that push, Em. I really needed it,” you say, wiping a stray tear that slipped from your eye.

“That’s what big sisters are for,” she leans in and kisses your head, and you can’t help but thank the stars above that your sister keeps you in check when it’s really needed.

A few hours after breakfast, everybody met down in the lobby with their stuff to check out and say goodbye. Emily and Josh were going to Costa Rica for their honeymoon, and your mom and dad had volunteered to take all of their wedding gifts and drop it off at their apartment while they were gone. Joel, Andy, Cole and Josh all helped your dad load the gifts into the bed of his truck while you, your mom, and Emily stood in the lobby.

“Oh, I just cannot believe my buggy is married,” your mom says, bringing Emily into a near bone-crushing hug. She laughs and hugs your mom back tightly, and your mom yanks your arm toward them so you can join in. You hug them both, kissing both of their heads before letting go.

“I’m seriously so happy for you, Emi. I know Josh is your fairytale ending you’ve always wished for,” you say, and she brings you into another hug.

“And Joel is yours, my sweet sister,” she’s got a matter-of-fact tone to her voice, and your mom nods in agreement.

“You two look so good together. There’s just something special about him. Call it mother’s intuition,” your mom winks at you, and you groan.

“Can we please focus on Emi? She’s the one who just got married.”

“Oh, fine. But don’t think this conversation isn’t going to get brought up again,” your mom says, bumping you with her hip.

You hold your hands up in defense, knowing this isn’t something she’ll let go of too easily.

The men all return to the lobby, and you can’t help but admire the sweaty brow and neck Joel sported, now wearing an olive green shirt that stretched across his broad chest and hugged his biceps tightly, paired with some black jeans.

You found yourself nearly salivating, feeling like a bitch in heat. Fucking hell. You really don’t think you’ll ever be able to get enough of him.

He notices you staring, giving you a subtle smirk before walking up to you to give your head a kiss.

“Like what ya see?” He whispers into your ear, and you nearly groan in front of everybody. That little bit of self control you have is fizzling away every second you’re within proximity of him.

“You know I do.”

He grins at your verbal confession, giving your arm a soft squeeze as he pulls you into his side.

“Well,” your mom claps her hands together, “This is it. Congratulations again, you two, and I can’t wait to hear all about Costa Rica when you come back home,” she gives both Emily and Josh a hug, kissing them both on the cheek.

“We better get photos in the family chat,” Andy says.

“Swim with a turtle for me,” Cole chimes in, which pulls a laugh from everyone.

“We will. Thank you guys again for everything,” Josh says, looking at Emily with a gleam of pure love in his eyes. “My wife and I have lots of exploring to look forward to.”

“Indeed we do,” she clings onto his arm, giving him a chaste kiss.

Everybody gives them their round of hugs, and Emily pulls you in extra tight. “I’ll call you, okay?” She says, and you give her a small smile and nod.

“I love you, Emi. Be safe out there and have endless cocktails for me,” you bring her in for one last hug, kissing her on the temple.

Everybody waves Emily and Josh off as they get their suitcases loaded and themselves situated in their Uber off to the airport.

“We’ll have to plan something for their homecoming,” your mom says after they leave.

”Does everyone live in Austin?” Joel asks the group, and everyone nods.

“For the most part. Sometimes my job has me going down to Corpus Christi for a few weeks on end,” Andy says.

“Well if everyone’s schedules align, I wouldn’t mind throwin’ a barbecue at my house for them when they get back,” Joel says with a grin.

“Oh Joel, you’d be willing to do that?” Your mom clasps her hands together, and you don’t think you’ve ever seen such a hopeful look in her eye.

“‘Course. I love throwin’ barbecues, n’ what’s more to celebrate them comin’ back from their trip?”

Your mom just can’t help herself and throws her arms around him, pulling him into a hug. He grunts in surprise and chuckles, wrapping his arms around her briefly before she pulls away.

“Christ honey, let the man breathe,” your dad huffs, pulling her away from him. Your mom swats your dad’s arm playfully, glaring up at him. The height difference between them is always comical when your mom tries to get mad at your dad, because she’s so tiny compared to him.

She turns back to you both, expression switching to a smile. ”It’s settled then. We can text about the details later,” your mom looks at you, and you nod.

“Sure thing, mama,” you say, giving her and your dad a hug. You move on to your brothers, both of them giving you tight hugs and a slug to the arm.

“Assholes,” you laugh, “Don’t be strangers alright? Text me once in a while, idiots,” you roll your eyes, and Cole huffs.

“Mom, Shadow is calling us idiots,” he tattles like a damn three year old, and your dad laughs.

“Well she ain’t wrong,” your dad says, and you can’t help but laugh along with him.

“Michael Alejandro, don’t talk about our kids like that… in front of them,” your mom says, and everyone laughs.

“Damn dad, mom’s calling you by your government name. Looks like you’re gonna get it when you two get home,” Cole snickers, and your mom smirks at him.

“Oh he sure is,” there was an underlying sound of need in her tone.

“Ugh, gross mom,” Andy says, scrunching his face in disgust.

“How the hell d’ya think you four got here?” Your dad asks, and all three of you groan.

“Aaand that’s our cue to go. Love you everybody, drive safe, and text when y’all get home,” you say, waving to your family. Joel laughs and says goodbye to everyone, giving your mom a hug and your dad a handshake.

Your brothers opt for a “bro hug” before he’s by your side again, lacing his fingers with yours as you blow your family one last kiss, walking out of the lobby and back to Joel’s truck, suitcases in tow.

“What a fun weekend,” you say, and Joel’s eyes flicker back up to the hotel. Your family members weren’t in sight, so before he opens your door for you, he presses you up against his truck and cages you in between his arms. He’s got a devious smirk on his face before he dips in to kiss you.

“Sure was, baby. Gotta say it’s probably one of the most incredible weekends I’ve had…ever, actually.”

You raise your eyebrow, hands trailing up to Joel’s strong chest. You feel his heartbeat beneath your fingertips, and you can’t help the lazy smile that crosses your lips as you think about the night and morning you both spent together.

“Agreed. Probably gonna have flashbacks about it for weeks,” you bite your lip, batting your lashes in a way that makes Joel’s cock jump in his jeans.

Seems like he can’t get enough of you, either.

“Weeks, huh? Why have flashbacks when we can recreate the moment over,” he pauses, kissing you briefly. He separates from your lips, one hand trailing down your arm and to your hand that was on his chest, lacing your fingers together once more. “And over,” he whispers against your lips, and a whine bubbles in your throat.

“No fair,” you pout, and he laughs as he pulls away from you.

“Insatiable, are we?” He chastises you playfully, and you roll your eyes at him with a smirk.

“For you, Mr. Miller? Always.”

The drive back to Austin was fairly quick. There wasn’t any traffic to your guys’ luck, and you made it home within an hour.

Joel dropped you off first and walked you up to your door, carrying your luggage for you like the gentleman he is.

“You sure I can’t convince you to let me stay?” He rolls your suitcase into your bedroom, turning to look at you as you lean up against the doorframe.

“As much as I’d love that,” you sigh, pushing yourself off the frame, “I have some cleaning I have to do and we both have work tomorrow. I’m sure Sarah misses you terribly, too.”

Joel chuckles at the last part, “‘M sure she’s thrilled I was gone for a whole weekend,” he huffs, and you wrap your arms around him.

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that. That girl loves you with her whole heart and I’m sure she misses her dad,” you lean in to kiss him briefly, hands sliding up and down his back in a comforting way.

Joel leans into your touch and sighs, softly knocking his forehead against yours.

“You’re right. I miss her just as much. God knows she was really takin’ care of herself this weekend instead of Tommy lookin’ after her,” he chuckles, shaking his head.

“I dunno. Seems like Maria’s got Tommy whipped into good shape.”

Joel huffs a laugh, “‘S a damn miracle he found that woman. I swear.”

You stand there in each other’s arms for the next few minutes, silence wrapping itself around you two. Being in his presence will always comfort you, and another part of you didn’t want to admit to yourself that you’d miss him once he left to go back to his place.

You were so used to being by yourself, even when you were with Christian. You’ve always done things on your own—that’s how it’s always been. You’re still adjusting to the idea of someone being there for you, doing things for you, liking you enough to not want to leave right away. It’s an oddity in your life that you’re having trouble wrapping your mind around, and you think that’s another reason you wanted to push away from this at first.

The mere idea of loving someone and opening up your heart fully again did terrify you, yes, but it’s set in stone now. There’s no turning back.

Joel Miller has your heart completely in the palm of his hand—you just need to tell him so.

Your heart pounds against your ribcage as you pull back from him, mouth going dry as your anxiety takes over your body.

Fuck. Here goes, well, everything, actually.

“Joel,” you whisper, staring into those sweet brown eyes you’ve come to know and love. You can do this. Just say it. ”I—”

The shrill of his phone ringtone rang through the dense silence in the room, and a part of you wanted to sigh in relief.

“Sorry darlin’,” his voice is soft, easily forgivable as he fishes his phone out of his pocket. His eyes skim over the caller ID, answering it before pressing the phone to his ear.

“Hey babydoll,” he says, and you immediately knew it was Sarah. “‘M just droppin’ her off. Should be home in a half hour.”

You step back from him to give him a little more privacy for his conversation, but he grabs your waist and brings your body flush to his.

God, you really hope he can’t feel how fast your heart’s beating.

“Mhm, sounds good. I’ll pick that up for dinner. Love you too, bye,” he hangs up the phone, shoving it back in his pocket before his hands land gently on your hips. He gives them a soft squeeze before leaning in to kiss your forehead.

“What was it that you wanted to tell me?” He asks, looking at you with genuine curiosity.

You swallow thickly, throat still dry. “Just that I had a great time with you this weekend. Wish it didn’t have to end,” Nice save, you think—but you smack yourself on the hand for backing out of telling him.

“I did too, baby. We’ll have to plan a weekend to get away, just you n’ me. How’s that sound?” He rubs his hands up and down your arms in a comforting way, making you sigh in content.

“I’d love that,” you grin, and he nods.

“I better get goin’ before the little rascal starts reprimandin’ me for bein’ late.”

”We wouldn’t want that now, would we?” You tease, voice laced with a hint of a laugh.

Joel shakes his head no, flashing you his million dollar smile.

“C’mon cowboy,” you walk him to the front door of your apartment, and he turns to you before you can open the door for him.

“I’ll text ya when I get home, baby. Thank you for invitin’ me to spend time with you and your family this weekend,” he says, cupping your cheeks to bring you into a sweet goodbye kiss.

“Thank you for braving it out and coming with me. Sorry if they were a bit much.”

Joel waves his hand in a playful dismissal. “Nah, they’re amazing. Even if I got interrogated by your brothers, I think this is the start of a beautiful bromance,” he wiggles his eyebrows, and you can’t help but laugh loudly.

“You did not just say bromance. Get outta here,” you nudge him and he grins, pecking your lips a couple of more times before he opens your door.

“I’ll see you real soon, baby. Can’t get rid of me that easy.”

”I’m counting on it, cowboy.”

You didn’t get to see Joel that whole week. It was now Friday, and you were missing him like crazy. You tried to ignore the weird feeling of not sleeping next to him at night, albeit only doing it a handful of times. You just felt like you got a better night’s sleep in his arms, all secure and warm.

His shifts at the firehouse have been long and chaotic, and between that and taking Sarah to soccer practice and school, Joel had his hands full.

You understood completely. Life happens, and you knew this would happen eventually. It’s not like not seeing him was on purpose. Even Maria said she hadn’t really seen Tommy a whole lot either, so to fix the loneliness pulling at both of your hearts, you invited her out to dinner.

You caught her up on the amazing weekend you and Joel had as soon as you both sat down. She was dying to hear the details, so you told her practically everything—except for what you did in the bedroom with Joel—all the way down to when he left your apartment.

“Oh my god, well first of all, I’m so happy for you. Sounds like it was a perfect weekend,” she says, taking a sip of her white wine.

You smile as you recall his hands all over you, the way he held you, his sweet words—all of it. “Thank you. It really was.”

“Sooo have you told him how you feel about him yet?” She asks, brow quirked with a subtle grin on her lips.

“I almost did, but then he got a phone call from Sarah and I bitched out, Maria,” you bury your face in your hands, sighing.

“Hey, don’t be so hard on yourself. Your past relationship wasn’t all sunshine and daisies. This is a huge step for you, and you even allowing yourself to feel like this toward him is admirable in itself.”

Her words did an excellent job at comforting you. Maybe you were just too in your head about this. But the other part of you—the logical, sensible part, constantly loomed over you like a damn gray cloud.

“I just—fuck, what if this is too fast? Isn’t it too soon?” You ask, slumping back into your seat. “I mean, there’s still so much to learn about each other.”

“You can be in love with someone and still have a lot to learn along the way,” Maria says, “And besides. You can’t help the way you feel. I know someone who said ‘I love you’ to their partner a month into their relationship, and they’ve now been married for like fifteen years.”

Maria grabs your hand from across the table, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Look, it’s normal to be scared. Every relationship is different, hon. They all go at their own pace. But, I can guarantee he feels the same way. What you two have is special,” she gives your hand one last squeeze before releasing it, leaning back in the booth before polishing off her drink.

You know she’s right. Damn this woman and her wisdom beyond her years. It’s one of the many things you love about her. Her and your sister really keep you grounded, that’s for sure.

You take everything she just told you into consideration, deciding that you were going to take charge of your feelings and do yourself (and Joel) the favor of telling him how you really feel.

“Today’s their last shift I think for three days, so I’ll see if I can get him alone tomorrow,” you say, and she claps her hands together.

“I can hear the wedding bells already,” she quips, and you can’t help but roll your eyes and laugh.

After dinner, you two walk out of the restaurant with your arms linked, fat droplets of rain suddenly plopping on your head.

“I didn’t know it was gonna rain tonight,” you say as you both retract yourselves back under the awning of the front of the restaurant.

“Me either,” Maria says, wiping the droplets off of her face.

The ringer of your phone is at battle with the sound of pouring rain, but you fish it out of your pocket and furrow your brows when you see Tommy’s name across your screen. You show the screen to Maria, and she whips out her phone to see if she’s got any missed calls from him.

You answer the phone and put him on speaker. “You jealous that I’m out on a date with your woman?” You tease, both you and Maria laughing.

Tommy says your name frantically over the phone, and your heart immediately drops.

Something’s wrong.

”Tommy? What is it? Is everything okay?” The urgency in your voice now matches his own.

“No, fuck—it’s bad. It’s bad. You need to get to St. David’s, now.” Tommy says, and your heartbeat accelerates rapidly. Your hands start to shake and your anxiety fuels every single cell in your body.

“Tommy, what-,” you nearly choke on your own breath, “What happened? What’s wrong?” You try again, voice shaky and uncertain, hoping he’d give you an explanation. Your gaze shifts to Maria in panic, and she brings you into her side to hold you, but nothing could’ve prepared you for what you heard him say next.

“I-It’s Joel. He’s—dammit, he’s hurt.”

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#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller series #joel miller au #joel miller/reader #joel miller fluff #joel miller imagines #joel x reader #joel miller imagine #firefighter!joel miller #fic: a burning desire

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