#The Loop SMP | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

sharffffff · 2 months ago

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Pangi felt silly. After all the effort they went to to get this cure, after many near-death - and in the case of Lukey, death - experiences with the wardens, after filling the catalyst with souls of more types of creatures than he even realized existed in this world, after actually trying some cure prototypes already with varying degrees of success - it was now, that they were one step away from the solution, he decided to get cold feet. Why now, if he was so ready to get cured just a couple of days ago, when Aimsey was throwing all these concoctions at him? They were as likely to work then - in his eyes, at least - as they are to work now, so why is he so scared of it? He could see the worried look in his friends’ eyes, he felt like he wanted to be cured, to be rid of this corruption, to get the memories from the book to feel like his own - so why couldn’t he? Why was he so afraid?

He knew why. He was afraid that regaining his memories, that becoming their Pangi - that it would mean the death of this Pangi. The death of himself. A person is the combination of their memories, and if he gets them back - would he even be himself? Would he even still exist? Or would it be another, different Pangi, the one that he was before all this - with him that he is now seizing to be? Or would it be someone else entirely? The combination of the two, one who has the memories of both but isn’t either? Pangi was scared to find out, and even as he heard the others call out to him, he kept spiraling down this pit of fear, unsure if this was actually how he wanted to proceed, his vision getting blurry, breath hastening, until-

Pangi’s vision cleared, focusing entirely on his hand - or rather, the fact that Lukey was holding it, trying to calm him down. This one gesture, this one show of affection almost made him break down on the spot, break the shell he had spent the past four years building - because on Lifesteal, showing emotional vulnerability is more dangerous than anything else, and getting killed is far less impactful than getting betrayed - and now, he almost lost it because of this… of this hamster?

He knew the past him was close to him - he was told so, he has read so, but he didn’t know just what he could’ve ever seen in Lukey - but apparently it was something he saw again, even if he couldn’t pinpoint it exactly. He knew he shouldn’t let this continue, that he should jerk the hand away, that he should build up more and more walls to make sure he doesn’t seem vulnerable - but he didn’t. He let the hand stay, just looking at it for a second that felt like an eternity, before averting his gaze. He could almost hear Aimsey snicker behind him, and his tail curled a bit in slight embarrassment, but as much as he refused to believe it, this gesture… helped. He was no longer afraid, and it was so stupid that it worked. It shouldn’t have worked. Pangi hated it.

“Hey, it’s going to be alright. Just one last step, and you will have the memories back, and you’ll be cured- if you still want it.” Pangi hated just how soft Lukey’s voice was, he hated that he was afraid, he hated that he wanted this cure - but bore the risk of losing himself if he were to take it. Everything about this felt wrong, and he didn’t know if it was the corruption within him speaking or if it was his genuine feelings - and he hated this fact, too. This would never have happened on Lifesteal, and it felt like almost being farmed for hearts by Zam was better than this.

And it hurt. It hurt because of how much Lukey cared about him - but Pangi felt like he cared about the past him, the him that he once knew, not the him that was standing in front of him now. Would he care as much if he never knew a different Pangi, if this was the only version he ever saw? He hoped the answer would’ve been yes, but was scared of a possibility of it being no. He had the jealous urge to say no to the cure, but that didn’t make much sense - that Pangi was still him, and he was still that Pangi. He wanted the memories back, he wanted to be free from corruption - even if it felt wrong to say, even if his entire being craved to run away from the cure, he knew it wasn’t him thinking that. And it felt weird, not being in control of some of his own thoughts.

“Y-yeah, I still want this, I still want the cure. You died for it! It would be weird to back down now, and- and I want those memories to feel like my own. Let’s just- Let’s just get it done with quick, before my mind is changed for me.”

The quick glances Aimsey and Lukey shared was enough evidence for Pangi that they understood what he meant, understood that the corruption was fighting to stay while he wanted it gone. And so they went to work, Pangi feeling a slight disappointment as Lukey let go of his hand, but quickly chasing it away as something to dwell on later, not now. Not like he had that much time to dwell on it now - the cure prototype, hopefully the last one, was done, held in Aimsey’s hand - hurting them, but it wasn’t like they cared - they were beaming with hope and happiness, ready to have their friend back - and as much as Pangi wanted to be upset over it, he wanted to be back too, he wanted to be himself, to have his memories, to know everything that happened to him without having to rely on a stupid book - and it’s not like he would be gone because of this. It would still be him, just… more.

As Pangi turned around so the vial wouldn’t be dodged, he felt it hit him, shaking him to his entire core. It worked, he knew it worked, as the corruption was fighting against his body to try and stay, to try and persist. But he also knew something else, something he suspected, something that was oh so ironic now considering how much he feared it just seconds ago. And as he was bent in half from the pain piercing his body as the last sentient presence of corruption withered away, leaving only the broken shell behind, devoid of color and life, he couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh, startling Aimsey and Lukey who were here, trying to help him.

“It worked, it sure worked,” he snarled through the pain that soon gave way to numbness. “But I don’t think that cure was the last step to getting cured.” A weak smile appeared on his face as he straightened up, knowing what had to be done next. This body couldn’t persist, it was barely even a body anymore - and to be cured, to have an ability to live, he had to die first. He needed a new body, and there was only one way to get it.

“What? What is the last step, then? How- how can we help you?” Lukey’s voice was still as soft even as he was panicking, trying to figure out a way to keep Pangi alive, seeing just how much this cure was hurting him. Aimsey, however… Aimsey’s eye met Pangi’s, and they gave him a slight nod of understanding.

“Oh, Pangi… Are you sure we have to do it?”

Pangi was sure. He was already putting all his stuff away in the chest, carefully taking off armor and numerous belts full of potions, as well as all the other mess scattered around his inventory, while Lukey was still throwing confused glances between Aimsey and Pangi - he understood what was happening, but refused to acknowledge it. He wanted to save Pangi, and him having to die to be saved… it just felt counter-productive.

“Do what?! What do you guys know that I don’t?! Pangi- Pangi doesn’t have to die, we can find a different way to save him, we-”

“Lukey, this body is gone anyway. The cure can’t magically return that has been destroyed… It has to happen. So…” Pangi turned back to the chest for a second, before taking out a crossbow and a stack of arrows - the same crossbow that once took Lukey’s life, now given to him to take Pangi’s. “Would you like to get your payback? I’d rather it be you than going to the fishtank to drown or dying to a zombie, hah!”

The look of distress on Lukey’s face deepened, and as he took the crossbow in his hands what felt like unwillingly, he couldn’t help but notice just how much they trembled. “I- You know I never took a life before, I- Do we have to do this? Is there no other way? Can’t we find a way to save you- Can’t we do anything?”

“You’ve already done everything you had to do. Now it’s my turn to do something, and that part is very easy - I just have to die.” Pangi smiled again, putting his hands on top of Lukey’s hands, helping him aim the crossbow straight at his heart. “Just one arrow, it should be enough. I know you can do it, so please - just pull the trigger. Allow me to come back.”

Lukey’s hands still trembled, kept steady only by Pangi’s, but he nodded - he understood it had to be done, even if he hated the fact that he couldn’t save him. No matter how much Pangi would tell him that he did, the loss of even one life was too much. But- It had to be done. He closed his eyes and pulled the trigger - crossbow being so close to Pangi’s body that he could feel the arrow going through, and then another, and another. Pangi was wrong, it took far more than one to kill him, but his hands remained on top of Lukey’s until it was done, and he didn’t even flinch as the barrage of arrows did their thing, only letting go once the last breath escaped his body - before crumbling to dust in Lukey’s hands. And only once he was gone Lukey allowed himself to break down, Aimsey there to comfort him, despite needing comfort themself.

***

When Pangi woke up, he wasn’t back at his spawn point in the lab - but he wasn’t expecting to be there. He half expected to woke up here, in the Null, before the life left his body - after all, he heard that many have found themselves here after a reset, and even if this death wasn’t a reset… it might as well have been. He wouldn’t be able to answer the question of “which” Pangi he was - he had memories of both, he was both, and neither of them were not him at the end of the day - just the one that he was for the past few weeks didn’t have the full picture. Can he really be the old Pangi if he has lived through experiences that the old one hasn’t? If he was a philosopher, he’d try to answer these questions, but thankfully it was easier to just ignore them. And the familiar sound would distract him from those thoughts anyway.

“Hey, Newt… Sorry I didn’t hold onto myself for him for longer. I tried, I really did, but it spreads faster than you think. Maybe if I held on for longer, he wouldn’t have lost that life in the ancient city… Or maybe he would. Won’t stop me from blaming myself.”

The hooded figure took a step - if these slight teleportations that Keepers did could be called steps - closer to Pangi, as if to look in his eyes, but stopped and turned around.

“You promised him you would protect him… you wouldn’t let him die again… And yet you did.” Newt’s words hurt, but Pangi knew he was right. He broke the promise he made to Lukey - even if he didn’t remember that promise at the time, he still broke it. But before Pangi could even reply, Newt’s words pierced his mind again. “I won’t blame you for that… He was reckless, you almost died too… But at least you got the cure, that’s what matters. Take care of him…”

Newt moved again, just a couple of meters further, and Pangi moved closer and nodded. “I will. I’ll try to, anyway. Oh, shit! Could you send me back? I just- I just realized just how bad that must have looked in chat, if there’s a whole army on the search to kill him for killing me now, I really need to return before-”

Pangi didn’t even manage to finish the sentence before waking up in the bed he set in the lab right before dying, right next to Aimsey and Lukey, who seemed startled by his sudden appearance minutes after he was supposed to be there. But before he could explain anything, he noticed something clutched in his hand - a piece of amethyst, the same lucky charm he once unwittingly threw away, and a piece of paper. “You lost it once, don’t lose it again.”

And then he was swept away in a hug, free of corruption, free of the nagging desire to spread it, free of the memory loss - and free to cry as he is embraced by the two people closest to him, the two people happy to see that their efforts were not for nothing. Free to finally let himself cry.

#the realm smp #trshipping #pangi #lukeytv #lukey #pangkey #me when i listen to 3 hours of aria math on loop writing this #anyway wouldn't it be fun if pangi had to die for the cure to work #wouldn't it be fun if he had lukey kill him #i think they should do that #and then kiss #and then kiss a lot #goddddd i can imagine the art of pangi holding his hands on top of lukey's before he shoots but ik i dont have skill to pull it off #this is tragic #anyway guys what about pangkey huh #sharf.writing

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ac3ofspad3s-on-ao3 · 2 months ago

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AU where Tommy gets stuck in a timeloop but he's like, not at all important. Could be a hero au, vampires, werewolves, royalty, just something. But he's not important, he's got no special powers or magic or anything. No connections, but he keeps waking up right before something bad happens, or maybe he doesn't even know the bad thing happens at first but it doesn't take long until he decides that stopping The Bad Thing from happening is probably what'll get him out.

So he finds the important people, Wilbur Soot, Technoblade and Philza Minecraft. He first figures out their schedules when he doesn't do anything then he starts popping up, getting to know them and trying to figure out what's going on with The Bad Thing and how to get them to stop it.

Over the loops he gets to know them well, and after awhile he gets sick of the loops, of them forgetting that they care about him. He stops bumping into them on accident. He stops slowly becoming their friends. He just finds them, and pulls them along to the events leading up to The Bad Thing. Whenever they try and get him to stop, to ask him what he's doing he'll pause for a second and tell them something very personal that he wouldn't know if he didn't know them well.

And he does that until The Bad Thing is stopped and the time loop ends. Tommy basically dragged SBI around, or he walked around knowing where everything was, what to do while they followed him to find out what the fuck a random teen was up to in their house. Getting yelled at every time they tried to intervene and then getting yelled at about a personal detail about their lives whenever they try to stop him from doing something or question if they could trust him.

And eventually it works. Tommy stops The Bad Thing. The day is saved and now he has to deal with the consequences of his actions. Skipping school, breaking into SBI's house/base/whatever, breaking several laws, and of course: telling SBI how he knows them so well when they don't know who he is.

I dunno just time loops and the horror of having to repeat, of trying to do thigns right over and over and create connections and memories hoping that that loop will be the one that sticks until those genuine connections become an obstacle, why talk to someone to get them to tell you something when you know it already? When you have a time limit. When everything will probably just fucking reset anyway so who fucking cares if you don't say good morning, your best friend who doesn't know your name will die and you have to stop it before they die in your arms or all alone or around strangers again.

#ah the horror of time loops #someone remind me to talk about my bg3 Alferia time loop au one of these fic fridays #tommyinnit #technoblade #philza #wilbur soot #dream smp #sbi

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