#Thechnology is not to blame

[anonymousactornyc]

Dear older theater patron....

Hello.

It’s been a while since we’ve had a chat. How have you been? How are your pets? Grandchildren? I know, they don’t call enough do they? How is your new cable TV? Have you tried that crazy Netflix that the kids are using these days? “Brave new world..” as Shakespeare would say, huh?

I’m asking about the TV because I know you’re enjoying home entertainment. I know this because I think you sometimes forget, when you’re… I don’t know, out in public and maybe, let’s say, at the theater, that you are not in the privacy of your own home and that everyone around you can hear what you are saying.

I know. Crazy, huh?

We can hear you explaining the plot to your husband who is falling asleep anyway and we can hear you commenting to your buddy how “Interesting” something is in order to undercut the emotional effect it’s having on you. The actors can hear you too. Trust me. We can. WE can hear you YAWN and COUGH and SIGH in the middle of a silence we have worked very hard to earn and fill, only to be undercut by your newly formed ADD that has been brought on by new media. You like to talk about how “young people” are being affected by technology… have any of you stopped to ask yourself how much YOU have been affected? Because if you have always acted like this then there is NOTHING that young people are doing that is different. I truly feel at one time you knew how to go to the theater. You understood that just because you are uncomfortable with a moment or the fact that an actor has pulled out a cigarette onstage, let alone started to light it, that you shouldn’t go in to a consumption coughing fit that makes me as an actor or an audience member want to hunt you down and suffocate you with my jacket. IF YOU’RE THAT ILL, THEN STAY THE FUCK HOME.

Wait, I’m sorry, that was a bit caustic.

I guess what I’m saying is that LISTENING is a skill. It’s a skill that can be lost after it has been acquired in the first place. This is not an issue of technology or age. It’s an issue of laziness and it’s a lack of awareness to your surroundings. I don’t care how often you go to the theater or if you’re a subscriber, rude is rude and lack of consideration is inexcusable.

So, if you could keep your epiphanies,about the plot or characters, that seem to happen three hours after the rest of us have had them and at a quiet moment in the scene, to yourself… that would be appreciated. Thanks.

Maybe you could practice this while watching that same episode of EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND for the third or fourth time?

All the best,

ME

PS- your Cell Phone DOES turn off. Ask a helpful younger person to show you how to do it. SILENCE or AIRPLANE MODE is not OFF.

PPS- Yes, it is hard to remember all those lines. It’s even harder to remember them when you are mumbling, coughing, rustling, texting and commenting through the entire performance.