#Thise two... they really don't want me to do it...

[sorrowful-star-rose]

I want to cry. I want to cry so badly, but I can't. The tears are right there, yet nothing's ckmjng out.

[beep-beep-imma-sheep]

Gentle reminder that

Smart ≠ Wise ≠ Literate ≠ Jerk ≠ Know-it-all

A character can be really good with, say, numbers but know absolutely nothing of history. Or be really clever and tactical but never once in their life has opened a book. Or be a genius when it comes to music, but being a complete idiot when trying to efficiently arrange objects in certain space. Or instinctively coming up with clever solutions, but lacking the words to express them. Or having a very vast vocabulary, but but it's not someone actually clever.

The say way someone can posses a lot of knowledge in a variety of areas but being unable to put that knowledge to practice, to use, or intertwine that knowledge to find a new and creative way to come up with an answer to a problem.

There are a lot of way to be smart. A character can be smart and ignorant. A character can be smart but know oh-so-little about a lot of things.

Yes, the character can be your stereotypical know-it-all that has all the solutions in less than a minute, doesn't miss a thing, gets impatient and cocky because no one can keep up with them and so one, but it doesn't need to.

[sanaexus]

"doing what i can, tryna be a man" -nagi seishiro

snyposis- nagi knows he's not perfect but he thought you loved him, until he saw you happy with someone, for the first time in his life he doubted himself

because its my babyboy's birthday and he deserves this and more!! please don't get misled by the synposis it was a bit too dramatic but i didn't know how to phrase it better

based on this req!

nagi knows he's not perfect, he knows he slacks off a little too much, he knows he doesn't put as much effort into things as he should, he's well aware of all of thise. but he really does try for you. he puts into just a little bit more effort into everything just for you. waking up just 15 minutes after his alarm instead of shutting it off and sleeping in. try just a bit harder during practices and even the matches just so you can say "good job baby, i'm so proud of you." he thought you two were happy together.

so what's the problem now? you both attended a party, it was just supposed to be for a little while but now you saw you chatting away and laughing with someone he wasn't bothered enough to care about. he felt this pang in his chest and felt his stomach sinking. he trusted you, he really did but this felt different sure he was jealous, but it was deeper than that. it was fear. fear of losing you.

if someone would have told him a couple of years ago he'd be feeling sick to his stomach because of some mid testosterone talking to his girl he'd laugh at their face, but now? he wasn't so sure.

you looked happy, glowing even. this radiant bright smile on your face with this twinkle in your eyes he had never quite seen before. was he not enough? no that was bullshit. you chose him. you loved him. everyday you came home to him, so why didn't you look as happy with him?

hesitantly he stopped staring at you from a distance like a creep, and walked up to you, casually putting an arm around your shoulder like he wasn't just questioning his self worth two minutes ago. "hi pretty, who's this?"

his voice sent shivers down your spine and made your face flush. it doesn't matter how long it had been since you both got together, you pretty much still had a crush on your boyfriend. "hi baby, just a friend, give me 5 minutes and then we can go alright?" with that you turned your attention back to the conversation.

the rest of the conversation you had was a blur for nagi. some joke he didn’t get. a story he didn’t know. he just heard your giggling and saw you smiling and felt his heart break real time. was this the part where you leave him? no it couldn't be.

he didn't even realise when he zoned out and when your conversation ended. his chain of thoughts broke with you tugging on his shirt looking up at him confused. "you okay baby?" your voice was sweet, sickly sweet and so innocent, he felt horrible for thinking you'd leave him when you loved him so much.

"yeah, 'm alright angel, let's go?" his voice was weak and sluggish but it was best not to bother him about it. he intertwined your pinky with his as you both head out from the party.

the car ride home was quiet. the only sound was from the traffic outside and the quiet music playing on the radio.

and then his voice barely above a whisper, "do you still love me?" you turned to him instantly. he sounded unsure. raw. scared. you’d never heard him like that before, and it shattered your heart.

"of course i do baby, you're the only one for me, why'd you ask?" you tried your best to sound reassuring but it was hard to do so when you're freaking the fuck out if your boyfriend is okay.

"why? why do you love me? you're so cheery and bubbly shouldn't you be with someone more like that?" he finally tore his eyes away from the road to look at you with such soft eyes that would melt you if it wasn't for the way he sounded so sad.

"what do you mean why? i like you just the way you are. i like the way you ground me, i like the way you just listen and let me talk your ear off. so no i don't want someone more 'cheery and bubbly' because you are what i want."

"oh." he was a quiet for a moment when he reached out for your thing carressing it with one hand when he whispered a small "i love you, please don't leave me i won't have a duo in val like you ever again."

his words made you giggle "i love you too and i'm not leaving you ever, who else is gonna carry me in tryhard diamond lobbies."

he let out a small chuckle when you asked him "so you thought i'd leave you? because i laughed at someone's lame joke to be polite? that's so silly sei"

you were right. it was silly, silly because you'd always choose him. "oh. oh yeah no i never thought about any of that." he tried to play it off nonchalantly like he wasn't just in the verge of crying and begging you to not leave him.

“sure, sei. sure you didn’t.” he did. but it didn’t matter. because you’d always be there to remind him. and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

a slightly late birthday post for my favorite boy!! lit stopped all my upcoming fics for this one because my baby deserves it

[sulumuns-dootah]

Taking the WHB demons thrifting

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

Characters: Paimon, Bimet, Eligos, Barbatos, Beelzebub, Amon, Morax, Ronove, Andrealphus, Vassago

A/N: First time writing for Vassago so let's hope I can nail his personality down since we didn't really get much of him the Beleth/Bephie event.

    ༺☆༻

The best one to go with, honestly

You could be looking through a rack for hours and yet, they manage to find something cute and in your size in the same rack

Will hype you up to buy something a bit out of your comfort zone

A thrifting trip can't be complete without a lunch before and a slushie or a visit to a café afterwards

    ༺☆༻

"Tell me why we're buying rags after some hobos instead of buying something nice and unworn, again?"

You've made a mistake, I'm afraid

Even designer outlets aren't good enough for Bimet

Your explanations about how more fun and good for the planet it is fall on deaf ears

    ༺☆༻

Another amazing patootie to choose to go with

It's harder for him to find something he likes, but once he sees the stuff you like, he's hoarding that shi at your feet

Snacks, snacks, snacks!

Honestly tho, Eli and Pai is the best fashion duo ever

    ༺☆༻

For someone who is naked most of the time, Barbs enjoys shopping for clothes a lot

He's especially interested in eye-catching prints

Doesn't really care about what you like, but what he would like on you (again, he literally wants you to be naked all the time, so what's the point of picking out clothes for you?)

Withe very item he wants to get the criteria are: how easy is it to remove? and will it make Barbatos look too good, making Leviathan hang him out of envy?

    ༺☆༻

This fucker tagged along only bc you promised to take him to some restaurant he hasn't tried before after you're done

*sigh* I hate to say it, but he would try to smell the articles of clothing for any remaining scent of the previous owner

You better hold him by the scruff of his neck so he doesn't do anything

"I like this top, I'm gonna buy it." "Oh? Lemme see *sniff sniff* Ooh, this belonged to someone who liked italian food and mostly matched it with (some other article of clothing)!"

    ༺☆༻

Amon, doesn't really have much of an input

Most likely he'll just stay parked somewhere, leaning against a wall and sleepily watch you browse the racks

When you ask for his opinion, you always get the same answer: "Looks good on you, love"

If you find something he might like, he'll have more to say, but is mostly happy that you want to get him something

    ༺☆༻

Aw, this cutie only went with you because you mentioned you wanna go to a cat café afterwards

Ironically, Morax ends up getting more things than you

The amount of fluffy and comfy sweaters that he can wear at home is enough to fill two bags

Visit to the cat café goes even better

You barely couldn't even leave bc the cats kept surrounding Morax

    ༺☆༻

As soon as you enter the store, he's immediately making his way to the lingerie section

"Hey, how about this? You'd look good in this and wouldn't have to be mad at me for ripping it apart."

To be fair, his style is on point and you end up buying the things he found for you

But to disappoint him, you also don't want him to rip thise things too, especially since they're unique and not from some store where you can buy more

    ༺☆༻

Oh no, this poor baby is trying to help you find nice things, but he can only pick them out by touch :(

He always brings you the ugliest things and it hurts you to tell him that they might feel nice, but look horrible

You end up buying some of the stuff anyway, so you can at least wear them at home while spending time with Andre

On the other hand, you find some nice suits for him, but he hates the texture of them

    ༺☆༻

Somehow, going thrifting with Vassago, you come out with outfits that would make a profesional stylist jealous

This man can take anything and make it look fancy af

Hell, you could give him a tablecloth and he'll make you look like a greek statue

In the end you both end up having a full bag of things

You have a bag of stuff for yourself and Vassago has a bag full of stuff for Agares

[nyapawr]

— YOU GOT CAUGHT | rindou haitani x fem! reader

sypnosis: you accompany sanzu haruchiyo you boyfriend to the club. He leaves you by yourself, not knowing what to do of course rindou steps in and saves the day kind-of.

pairings: rindou haitani x female! reader x sanzu haruchiyo

mentions: smut, fluff, angst, emotional vulnerability, slow burn, comfort, sanzu haruchiyo x female! reader x rindou haitani, supportive friend, hurt/comfort, emotional, cheating.

authors note: hi guys i am back from my long holiday *giggles and farts* hopefully you guys missed me also lowkey don't know if i should make a part two please comment and decide for me.

"haru?.." you say softly as you call out for haruchiyos name. You were currently in the VIP suite, your here because you wanted to accompany haruchiyo but as you can see he's currently gone off somewhere leaving you by yourself.

"watcha'doin hm?" rindou walks up behind you causing you to jump. "oh, hi rin! nothing much m'just looking for haru...." he looks at you, grinning. "y'knoww.. I saw him with a girl and they—" you cut him off.

"no! he said he was going to grab a drink he wouldn't walk off with some rando" You huff, not believing a word.

"oh yeah?" he says lowly.

"yes! so stop making fake lies about haru, rin!" He looks at you, chuckling. Rindou then proceeds to gran ur hand, leading you to god knows where. "w-where are you taking me let go!"

he ignores you, not listening to whatever you have to say. You begin to panic a bit, what if what rindou's saying is true? what if he really is cheating on you with some washed up dirty stank dick hopper.

but you quickly washed thise thoughts away, you knew haruchiyo wouldn't do that.

rindou stops walking causing you to bump into him. "careful" he says while grinning. "why are we here rin?" you glance at him before looking at the thing in front of you again.

"why dont'cha check hm? your little haru is in that room y'know he'd be really happy to see youu" he says the last bit a bit weirdly but you don't seem to mind it. Your just happy that haru didn't leave you.

smiling happily, you slowly open the door a bit. As soon as you open the door you hear strange noises coming from the other side. PLAP! PLAP! PLAP! is all you could hear.

you stop. no, this can't be he wouldn't. haru wouldn't do that to you he's too loyal to do this kind of thing to you. rindou looks at you as you stand there, listening to the awful noises that was happening in that room.

you slowly back up, not wanting to fully open the door. He looks at you before speaking "aren't'ya gonna open the door doll?" You shake your head no before tears start building up.

before you could even leave rindou gives you a quick peck on the cheek before comforting you. "aw s'alright baby you don't need him" he cooes you as you begin to sob quietly while hugging him.

after a few minutes of you crying and him holding onto you he tells you to go in his car and to wait for him as he was gonna drive you back to his house.

"wait for me'kay? i just need to do one more thing before we leave." you nod as you made your way towards his car. He watches you as you walk down those stairs. When he finally sees you leave the club he opened the door, the door where you witnessed haruchiyo cheating on you.

"well well well, look who do we have here" rindou chuckles as he sees haruchiyo putting his clothes back on. "fuck off watcha want." sanzu spat back not wanting to see rindou haitani in the flesh.

"she saw you"

it suddenly became quiet. Nobody dared to say a word not even sanzu haruchiyo. He looked at rindou, as if he commited something very sinister which he did.

"fuck."

haruchiyo just sat there there. he didn’t even say anything. like, he wanted to, you could see it in his face, but nothing came out. just silence. not even sanzu said anything and that man always had something smart to say.

rindou was still standing by the door, all smug like he didn’t just drop a bomb and destroy your whole world. “didn’t think you’d get caught huh?” he said, voice low but sharp. haru didn’t move. didn’t blink. nothing.

back inside the club, haru finally moved. “you let her hear that?” he asked sanzu, voice cracking. and sanzu? he just looked at him and shrugged. “you let her walk in on that. don’t put this on me.”

rindou scoffed, walked up to haru, and got real close. “you really fumbled the only person who actually gave a damn about you.” his voice was calm but the anger behind it was loud.

haru didn’t fight back. he just looked away. guilty. broken. pathetic.

then the door slammed shut.

“you okay, doll?” rindou asked, sliding into the driver’s seat next to you. you didn’t say anything at first. just nodded slowly while staring out the window. your voice barely came out. “i just… wanna go home.”

the car ride was quiet. too quiet. like the kind that makes your chest feel heavier with every passing second. rindou didn’t say anything—just glanced at you now and then, like he was checking if you were about to break again. you didn’t. not yet anyway.

The city passed by in a blur of lights and shapes you couldn’t focus on. Your eyes were fixed on nothing, your mind louder than the silence between you. His fingers drummed against the steering wheel, slow and uneven. He was getting restless.

Then, barely above a whisper, he said, “You don’t have to act like you’re okay.”

Your jaw tightened. Of course he could see through you—he always did. You stayed quiet, like maybe if you didn’t respond, the ache in your chest would settle.

But it didn’t.

“You keep looking at me like I’m going to fall apart,” you muttered, eyes still locked on the window.

Rindou didn’t answer right away. The tapping stopped. For a moment, all you could hear was the low hum of the engine and your heartbeat in your ears.

“I’m not,” he said finally. “I’m just… trying to figure out how to help without making it worse.”

You turned to look at him. His expression was the same as always—calm, unreadable—but his grip on the wheel was too tight, and you caught the way his jaw clenched like he was holding something back.

“I don’t need you to fix me,” you said, softer this time. “I just need you here.”

He reached out, like it was instinct, like there wasn’t even a second thought. His hand found yours, and the second your fingers touched, something in your chest let go—just a little.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said.

And for once, the silence didn’t hurt.

The rest of the drive was still quiet, but it didn’t suffocate you anymore. You leaned your head against the window, eyes half-lidded, trying to hold yourself together just a little longer. You didn’t cry. You were tired of crying.

[2isted-chocol8-art]

question about time buddies cus im curious: 1) are they dating in the comics you make? they kiss and cuddle and be cute, but like are they together together? and 2) how did they get together, if so? like how did they confess? or did it just happen? basically im asking what are ur headcannons for how they start smooching? i lovelovelove all the time buds art youve made and the thought just came up that, well, theyve gotta start kissing somehow yknow?

Ohhh this is gonna be a very fun ask to answer where I'll pour a bunch of headcanons, so buckle up!!

I haven't yet settled on how I picture hearthian relationships, but I know that I want to make them kinda fluid. That is, relationships aren't strictly divided in platonic and romantic, it's normal and accepted to have crushes in friends, or to make out and sleep with people without romantic feelings involved. Each hearthian has their own preferences too, and since their population is quite small, there isn't a set standard. Some people choose to be exclusive, others don't. Some have many romantic experiences, others have none. For some, romance and sex are linked, while for others it is not. And since everyone is different in this regard there are not societal expectations on this, you can kinda go and try whatever works for you.

For hatchy, they are still figuring themself out and they were experimenting before the loop. They don't fully distinguish between romantic and platonic affection yet, the line is kinda blurred for them (for now, anyways). Meanwhile, while Gabbro does make that distinction and they've have a few previous crushes, they're pretty open to making out with friends without the need for romantic feelings. Gabbro usually puts the focus on the other person's preferences, in that sense.

And so, are they dating? Honestly you can interpret them as you like, and I encourage people to see them as dating if they want, or not if they don't want to. You can even see them as strictly friends in some drawings and as dating in others, I don't really want you guys to follow my 'canon', in that sense.

For me personally though, I think that since they're in a time loop, they don't really bother with defining their relationship. They're the only conscious ones in the loop, they like to spend time together, they sometimes make out, but they arent technically dating, that label doesn't really make sense in the loop, right? From outside, I'd say it's close to a friends with benefits situation.

I also like to think that, in my post-loop comics, this relationship would start to get more defined with time, mostly because they're living back into a society and it kinda forces them to think about what they want regarding each other. I haven't thought much about the details, but I feel that although their dinamic doesn't change much compared to what they had in the loops, they do start having some 'dating' dynamics (they set limits regarding phisical affection with others, manage jelaousy situations, expect to spend more time together, etc,).

And in regards to your second question, how did they get together? I think that they become friends only after the loops starts (they never really hung out before) and they gradually become closer. Then, after the touch starvation and isolation starts becoming unbearable, they start smooching and making out mostly as a consequence of that absence, an attempt to search for that connection. This obviously makes it all the more intense and they end up kind of attached to the hip for a time (codependency my beloved). But again it's all kinda casual and very gradual, there is not a set moment where everything starts and they don't bother defining it either. It's mostly a matter of 'hey, this feels nice, let's keep doing it".

If I'm being honest I picture this starting as in "Next Time" or "Got Weird", thise fics perfectly capture the essence of how I think anything would start between these two in-loop sksksk.

And I think that's all? Thank you so much for this ask, it was a blast talking about all of this! I have a lot of headcanons for these two, and although I encourage you all to interpret my drawings as you like, I love talking about all of this!

[elllisaaa]

Hihi , im not really sure if it would be ur style of writing but i had a dream abt it and i thought u could write smth along those lines(i think for this fluff would be good🥹 but if u wanna add smut is fine too hehe)

Heres the prompt:

Basically most of the days you would be hanging out w ur bff beomgyu after sch, just hanging out in each other’s presence is enough. You guys wont force a conversation if its not needed n sitting in silence gives you both a peace of mind.(thise type of fs)

But one day u told him that u were going to an event with ur girl bff , where she could see her fav artist , and you being a supportive bestie decided to go with her!

Somehow thru the night things changed and you ended up with beomgyu saying these words: “ It’s always been you y/n, my eyes are only for you”

(Not rlly sure if this is how a prompt should be(if im giving too much cos this is my first prompt) but i hope it sparks interest >_<)

hiii anonie !! this definitely so damn cute, i got a little overboard with this one but i love it so much, it's so soft omgg ! this definitely such a good idea i love it, and don't worry - the longer your thoughts are, the more i'm happy !

BFF!BEOMGYU who never stops annoying you every day, be it by sending you tons of texts or by dropping by your place when he's done with his schedule. well, you always claim that he's annoying but he knows that it isn't the truth and that you're always happy to see him.

"by the way, i will not be there for our movie night tomorrow, i'm sorry." beomgyu turned to you with a judgemental look on his face. "you're letting me down !?" you rolled your eyes as you threw one of the cushions of your sofa at him. "don't be so dramatic. i'm just going to a fanmeeting with one of my friend because she didn't want to be alone."

and even if your reasons were very valid, beomgyu couldn't help but be bothered. you always spend your free time with him, and it didn't even matter if the two of you just laid in your bed in silence, watching a serie while playing stupid games on your phones. it didn't matter because what he seeked was your presence, feeling you by his side. he loved to know that he could lay his head on your lap anytime and that you would drop your phone to thread your fingers through his hair until he fell asleep.

but sometimes, just sometimes, he wished he could be even closer to you. the type of closeness that would allow him to feel jealous about you going to a fanmeeting of another idol. the type of closeness that would allow him to kiss you, and love you like you deserved to be loved.

a pout was visible on his face, but what was even more striking was the slighlty hurt look in his eyes. and even if your best friend was always a little drama queen whenever you cancelled plans with him or hung out with somebody else, you never took him too seriously, knowing that he just liked to yap. but today, it seemed different.

beomgyu didn't want to separate from your warm body, but he still sat up, already missing the feeling of your hands in his hair, but his heart was hurting too much to keep pretending this time. it was nothing, he was aware, and he didn't have any right being jealous or feeling like he was. but he did, and he wished you would feel the same even if it was impossible because he was him and you were yourself, and there was simply no way that you would love him like that.

"why are you taking it like that gyu ? i know it's a little late to let you know, i should've told you before but it's no big deal, yeah ? i'm free this weekend if you wanna come by after practice, i'll even cook for you if you want."

beomgyu could feel a knot forming in his throat the more you talked, realizing how wrong he was for making you feel guilty about something you weren't responsible for. but the question he was dying to ask still got out of his mouth, the words coming out almost against his will : "do you like him more than me ? do you think that he sings better ? is that why you're letting me down ?"

his shaking voice made your heart clench, and you paused the movie that was now serving as a background noise, focusing entirely on your best friend and the way he was fidgeting, not daring to look you in the eyes but he seemed more than anxious, more than sad.

"where is that coming from gyu ? i've never said that. or did i make you feel this way ?" but beomgyu shook his head no. "you didn't. it's just…" he stopped for a moment, seemingly thinking about something before he curled up on himself on your couch, gaze fixed on the frozen tv screen. "forget it, i'm just being selfish."

the entire mood had changed, but you couldn't care less - you were only very worried about your best friend. "you know you can be selfish sometimes, i don't mind. tell me what's going on, please ?" and beomgyu finally looked at you in the eyes, biting his lips as if he was still unsure about what he was going to say : "i'm making a big deal out of this because i want to be the only one you're fangirling over, okay ? i want to be the only one you find handsome, and the only one you gush to your friends about. i wanna be the only one for you because for me it has always been you y/n, my eyes are only on you."

you looked at him dumbfounded, as you clearly didn't expect a confession, especially from your best friend. but quickly, a little smile spread on your lips as you reached for beomgyu's hand. he let you do that, and he let you pull him closer to you too, your face only inches away from the other.

"you've always been the only one for me too gyu, i simply didn't think that you would feel the same because you're always surrounded by the most beautiful girls of the country, so why would you choose me ?" - "because i'm in love with you, so in love with you it hurts sometimes." your smile was matching his, and you could see his brown eyes sparkling with joy again. "i'm in love with you too, have been for so long." - "does that mean i can kiss you now ?" you chuckled but still nodded : "yes, you can."

so beomgyu kissed you, and the way his heart exploded in his ribcage was only another proof of how down bad for you he was. and he didn't want this feeling to ever stop if that meant he could wake up by your side every morning.

[midwesternvibes]

Hi! Love your One Jump au is so interesting!!! If you don't mind, I'll ask some questions ... Please feel free to not answered them if you're not in the mood ... So, is Leo like street smart? Those he still goes to Run of the mill? How Splinter, Big mama and Draxum found out the others are alive? How is the dynamic between the brothers?

OOO ONE JUMP I haven't thought about these guys in a while I miss them.... (I'm gonna divide these by question lol)

(Also cut because I cannot summarize for the life of me lol)

Is Leo street smart?

Yep! The name "One Jump" is actually after the song in Aladdin, so think of him very much like Aladdin! He's gotta steal to eat, gotta eat to live, he'll tell ya all about it when he's got the time! All jokes aside though, he's very street smart. He's all but been raised by the streets, so he quite literally knows the Hidden City like it's his own home. He knows all the vendors by name, and they know him. Whether or not they *like* him is an entirely different story......

2. Does he still go to Run of the Mill?

He used to. I'll leave it at that 🩵

3. How did the adults find out each other were alive?

In a different post I talked aboit how Raph got sick and needed to come down to the Hidden City, where he ran off and ran into Mikey (linked here). Big Mama basically saw this lost child who looked eerily like a child she once wanted to raise and took him in. Cue Draxum freakimg out for several days until he realizes that woah, Big Mama is still alive??? He goes knocking on her door and finds her playing tea party with His kid and another litfle turtle who looks just like the kid he wanted to raiss with her.....

Happy reunion all around! Raph and Mikey are excited to move in, and while Raph continues to go to school on the surface world, they still hang out all the time and the adukts are working out some kind of way to get between the surface and Hidddn City easier. Meanwhile, Big Mama and Draxum just keep wondering, well, if they're both alive, and their two kids, then what are the chances of their other two children and partner being alive as well?

4. DYNAMICS! (i live for these kids of questions!)

Raph and Mikey - Bestest of bros! Met each other first, hang out all the time, both prodigies in their fields and love to talk about their interests! Both have a pretty poor perception of safety, so they get into trouble from time to time, but are also pretty good at getting out of it. The silliest of guys, nothing wrong with them at all and I'm sure there's no danger to their relationship on the horizon! : )

Raph and Donnie- Overprotective brother extraordinare. Draxum drilled it into Raph's head growing up that Donnie is a bit squishier than the rest of them, and he kinda internalized that idea that he needs to protect Donnie, even though Donnie is a very capable person and can handle himself! They fight a lot about what is and isn't appropriate for Donnie to be doing, but they really do love each other, and outside of thise fights, they get along really well (especially when Donnie lets Raph help with explody experiments)

Mikey and Donnie- Mikey is just a touch overbearing for Donnie tbh. Donnie's used to being an only child, so Mikey's clunginess is a bit much for him a lot of the time, which drives a bit of a wedge between them. Parallel Play is their favorite thing, they love to just exist together. Mikey also doesn't treat Donnie like he's made of glass, so they like to sneak out and cause mischief and sometimes even solve crimes! They are silly, and their newest crime to solve is who in the world dares to steal from the children of Big Mama, Baron Draxum and Lou Jitsu, they're famous dammit!

Raph and Leo- Leonardo? The fourth turtle? Dad's mentioned him sometimes, but he gets pretty sad when talking about him, so it's best to just not think about lost things!

Mikey and Leo- Who? A slider? Like a sandwich? Now that you mention it, she's pretty hungry, maybe Mama will take Mikey to go get some dinner!

Donnie and Leo- There's a blue spark somewhere, in a place Donnke can only reach when he's truly trying to connect with his ancestors. Maybe a distant cousin? He's not sure, but he's got pressing matters at the moment, don't bother him!

And I think that's it! That was fun, keep asking me questions! If you get specific enough I might answer the more vauge ones better lol, I love secrets!

First // Previous // Next

[buggshotz]

gang i have come to a realization

i am NOT drawing gabriel’s armor in that dn pose i will ULTRADIE before i do

so if you guys will be kind can you reblong/whatever me sone cute dresses for him ^w^

and while i have your attention please also send minos and v1 outfits since i am doing thise two aswell. or dont, that works too since neither of them really NEED clothes

KEEP THE OUTFITS SFW THOUGH THEY CAN BE A BIT SKIMPY BUT PLEASE DON'T HAVE THEM BE INAPPROPRIATE I DONT WANT SCHOOL ADMINS TO SNIPE ME 😭😭

I'll check back on this on May 29, that's when i'll be back from a trip :3

edit : i see you pwople liking but not prividing, i appreciate the liked but THE ASSIGENT GUYS /lh

pose is below!

[dchuntress]

Hello, I have some stupid questions, a confession, mabe even a vent of sorts about LGBT things, Pride and stuff. And you are a lesbian around my age I heard about here on Tumblr, actually, we are even mutuals (My first! And only one. I am mostly a lurker. My last post is from two months ago.) on my main account but you dont have anonymous asks enabled and so I use my kind of a throwaway account like a filthy Redditor I am at heart. You dont have to answer my ask at all, though. I am cool with that.

I think I might be a lesbian. Or at least attracted to women. Its actually kind of difficult to say with certanity and I dont want to lie and feel like I am a fraud. And I dont want to be wrong because like everyone I hste to be wrong. Maybe more than most people, I concede. Anyways, I never dated anyone or even flirted or expressed interest in anyone nor had anyone express an interest in me, unless I count a literal crime against me that I wont be discussing. And I dont count that. How can I know anything?

However, when I think of or imagine dating someone, I usually think of a woman. I am pretty sure I had two crushes so far in my life, based on descriptions of such feelings, and they happened to be girls. And it terrifies me. Although I dont live in a country that makes it outright illegal (which I think you said Bangladesh did?), Slovakia isnt overly friendly either but it is much better than a lot of the world.

I feel ashamed for some reason. I dont want to but I am. Even if nobody knows. Hell, not even anyone online. Why even are there challenges in the first place?  I dont want to like women.

I have no idea how to even tell someone is a lesbian. Heterosexual people can assume heterosexuality of others and in like 99% of cases they are right. Is it even possible to tell? I mean, I dont really look it either. I dress very casually, not at all the more extravagant styles I see on internet. How is anyone supposed to know? How do you even find people to date?

I also dont really want to be a part of the community. I know that it makes everything harder. It also makes me a coward who doesnt do anything for the social rights thing. I dont want the surroundings to know. I dint want to get into conflict with people I know, my family. I highly doubt my dad would be okay with it and I dint want to mess up our relationship. Is there any way to prevent it? I am pretty solitary so I dont have friends really, apart from like one person and sometimes I listen to my classmates talk and sometimes I say something. I cant lose thise few peoole who are obligated to talk to me because of blood.

 Besides, there was a time when I was a transphobic asshole to a former friend. The thought of accidentally meeting them horrifies me. I dont even deserve to do anything for this community. I even purposefuly avoid such people because I dont feel like I deserve to even talk to lgbt people. I even kind of avoid my only current (bi) friend because of it and this friend doesnt know about anything I wrote here.

Thats all for now. Oh and I am rn reading Huntress (1989) because of you. I already read Year One, Cry for Blood, NML and BoP before even stumbling on your blog and sonI decided to exoand my knowledge on Huntress. Sorry for the abrupt tonal shift.

hey!!! i want to say i love you so much, my dear friend. whoever you are, you have all of my love and i want you to know that you are so important, you are fully loved and cared for, you matter so much and you are worthy of all the beautiful things and happiness this world has to offer. believe that!!! i want you to try to believe all of that as much as possible because being yourself is not a crime.

firstly, i want to say that i'm in very similar places like you. i have never dated anybody, i don't have a first kiss, and i don't even know if i want to ever date or kiss anybody, even if my crushes ever reciprocated their feelings.

i love women wholeheartedly, as a human, as a feminist, platonically and to some extent romantically. i love seeing women being their true selves, i love women being in love with women, i love women being happy. this has always been my biggest truth for me, because i don't know if i'm worthy of this queer joy myself but i know i want this queer joy for everyone! for women, for my friends, my friends' friends, strangers on the internet, the whole world.

i feel deeply and emotionally connected to sapphic stories, sapphic ships, sapphic characters in a way that i can't find anywhere else. whenever i go to bed, whenever i'm upset, i dream about my favourite ships in love over and over to feel better, i look for female friendship and female empowerment and female love everywhere i go because i may not be a girlfriend or a wife pne day but i do know that i feel happy when i see other people experiencing this sapphic joy.

using bullet points to address all of what you said:

don't be sorry, it's okay, i understand! i turned off anon because i get severe anxiety over anonymous messages and who sent me them, but you're 100% okay for this, i understand where you're coming from. and you're not filthy, i use reddit and make throwaway accounts on there too! and yes, i'm from bangladesh! homosexuality is illegal here and religiously and socially abhorred.

you are NOT a fraud. you do NOT owe anybody your sexuality, and that is final. this is YOUR identity, YOUR life, YOUR truth. do you feel comfortable with the label, lesbian? then please 100% go for it, you don't have to prove yourself to anybody! alternatively, you could try exploring other labels: sapphic, bi, pan, omni, grey, ace, aro, demi, etc. but also don't fuss over a label if nothing fits you, you can be queer or unlanelled and that's perfectly fine. but again, if you say you're a lesbian, you ARE a lesbian and nobody can or should doubt you. if you're not a lesbian, then nobody can force that label on you. this is YOUR right, my friend. YOUR power.

sexuality and gender are fluid! identity is very fluid! and it varies for everyone! some people know they're gay they're entire lives. i, personally, used to identify as aroace for many years of my life. when i first started to come to terms with the fact that i do experience attraction, i was very scared and unsure myself, i didn't want to be a predator intruding on women's spaces. i initially felt uncomfortable calling myself a lesbian, and sometimes, even calling myself a woman, because i put other women on a pedestal. women are beautiful, women are amazing, women are capable. me? i'm ugly, i'm trash, i'm a loser, i'm a disgrace to womanhood everywhere, and i shouldn't be a lesbian because women deserve better than me, ever. i overcame that, it wasn't easy and it was a long journey of working through my emotional weakpoints and eventually getting antidepressants to finally be comfortable with taking up space, calling myself a woman, calling myself a lesbian even if i don't find myself particularly admirable in any way, because again, my friend, this is not about other people. this is about OUR INDIVIDUAL truth that nobody else can decide for you. you have the right to be the worst person ever and YET be your true self! nobody can take your humanitarian and your identity away from you, that's your inherent worth and you don't have to earn it, you won't ever have to "lose" it or be punished for it because this is YOUR truth forevermore.

sometimes you may not ever know for sure. maybe you'll change your mind one day. maybe you'll feel regret. but that is still no reason to be discouraged from going out of your box and trying to understand yourself. learning is a lifelong process, nobody ever truly figures themselves out fully. and do not beat up your past self for not knowing better, ever! imagine that younger you is a naive kid. are you going to berate a ten year old for making mistakes, saying something they shouldn't have? are you going to look at a seventeen year old who's very much distressed, alone, and struggling, and shame her for labelling herself x when you're now y? please, ALWAYS be kind to yourself, especially when you don't feel like you deserve it, because that's when you need to forgive yourself the most.

okay, listen. you don't have to be an activist. you cannot pour out of an empty jar. keep yourself safe, first and foremost. my personal philosophy is that it's okay to do the worst of worst things for your survival. i lie to everybody in my real life everyday, nobody knows i'm a lesbian and an atheist, they think i'm an ideal daughter but i'm not. i hate to get their love when i know they'd hate me if they knew what i was, but i cannot come out ever because i know i will be killed or married off to a man immediately if that ever happened. you just have to choose the less shitty option you know?

i love my family but i dread the day i reach my mid twenties, because i'm still not sure. i want to choose my freedom but i also don't want to cut ties with my family, even if they won't accept me for who i am.

i cannot tell you what you are, if you're lesbian or heterosexual or not. that is for you to find out. i feel you may be dealing with internalised homophobia, which is not your fault, your environment is not safe for queerness and i don't fault you. please do not blame yourself for any of this.

i also dress very casually, i don't like make-up or accessories, i like being as plain as possible. i also don't know how to find people to date, because it's not safe to try to find queer people because you don't want your secret with the wrong person. but i hope that we will find our loved ones, our true loved ones, when we are meant to. not just romantically, but platonically. i'm not sad about my lack of dating life because i have the most amazing friends ever, online and offline, and i am happy and alive today only because of them. i would not have been alive without my online friends, i'm not kidding.

are you introverted and prefer having less friends? or are you socially awkward but want to make friends?

DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. i can see that you are a very thoughtful person who thinks and feels deeply!!! listen to me. i will tell you my story. i will confess my worst crimes that i still feel so bad for. growing up, i used to make fun of feminine men, i used gay as an insult, i used hijra as an insult, because i saw that happening around me in real life. i used to think being gay and trans was a sin. i was uncomfortable with polyamory. i held racist beliefs as i grew up with rampant colourism around me. i was very fatphobic as i got bullied by my own sister for my weight and developed an eating disorder. my sister would make fun of me because she had insecurities and i would make fun of people because i thought it was normal, it was how you made friends. i used to be ableist, especially against bpd and narcissism. i am not happy i ever had those beliefs, and i am mortified and ashamed that i hurt so many people throughout my life whom i can never apologise to as we'll never meet again. i wish i could go back in time and not hurt people but i can't. what i could and what i have tried was to try and listen, understand. i had friends from all walks of life online. i did not understand what it meant to be trans or bi or to use different pronouns, but i knew it made my friends happy so i tried to learn for them. i asked my friends with multiple pronouns if they want me to alternate all of their pronouns for them and i would do just that for them when they said yes. i googled my friends' bios and i would try to understand what these words meant. i started to read up marginalised histories and watch videos on them. i listened to my friends, i let them vent to me, and i wanted to try for them. it was not easy or perfect, i'm not a saint, i felt my biases internally. but ultimately, i chose my friends' happiness and rights over my biases, over my "that doesn't make sense", over my uncomfortable for them. i overcame my discomfort because people have the right to be themselves. i was ableist until i became chronically ill and suicidal myself and i became hyper aware about neurodivergency and mental illnesses, and i want to study genetics so that i can help to make these struggles easier. i genuinely hated men, but i overcame that because i want to choose my dad, my friends over my vitriol. i read a lot of books and i would write often to see these different perspectives, different lives, different struggles, and try to respect them, understand them, love them.

this won't be an easy journey, but see, whether you choose to suppress yourself or be easy on yourself, you will suffer. suffering in life is inevitable. but you still have a choice in what way you want to suffer: suffer under the weight of suppressing yourself, or suffer under the weight of knowing you won't be liked and accepted by all people. but that's a better suffering, because you Don't need people to like you. those who like you and are meant to be in your life WILL accept and love you without you having to beg them or earn it. trust me, true friends will NEVER make you question where you stand with them!

can i please suggest the movie, i saw the tv glow? please, please watch it. and also the movie/book, the perks of being a wallflower. and also these book, she is not invisible by marcus sedgwick and convenience store woman by sayaka murata. please.

you and i are flawed, but we are not evil or subhuman, we still deserve our right to be ourselves, you don't deserve to be punished forever. please choose yourself regardless of the world outside you.

I HOPE YOU LIKE HUNTRESS 1989!!! if you feel comfortable, i PLEASE urge you to message me because i want you to know that i am always here for you and i want to help you and support you as much as i can. i don't have everything figured out, i don't know everything, but what i do know is that you don't have to suffer alone. i want to be your friend. also, edit: i'm sorry that crime happened to you, and also, i please urge you to try and reconnect with your trans and bi friends. don't fixate on their identities, see them as people, see them as your friends, they're just like you beyond the labels. apologise to your trans friend without expecting forgiveness, just tell them your real feelings. it's scary and might not end well but i still request you to do this.

happy pride month, my friend. i love you and i wish you all the best. if anybody else would like to chime in and offer anon any more advice or kind words, please do reply or reblog! 🫂

[toadifylackoffantasy]

Hihi talk me more about you oc's (my precious)

💙 - 🌊 - 🗡 - 💛

♥♥♥♥ love ya!

I'll do Finn and Flo, cus they're the most developed :) if you want someone else, tell me! I like the thinking exercise of diing thise fod í

💙 - Describe their bedroom! Is it personalized, unchanged? Messy, neat?

It is... A sexden, simply put. Flo can vanish their tiredness (or could ... ) and Finn's if necessary, they are addicted to each other, Flo is colorful and into kitsh, Finn finds a lot if weird things cute and funny. All that results in a RGB colored leopard printed mess with a lot of suggestive decoration. It is quite neat cus they need to hide the truly spicy things for when Gabi invites friends, but cluttered in the aesthetic deco sense.

🌊 - Does this oc have a secret or repressed desire?

Finn: yes and no. His past is still a secret fir everyone but Flo, but Flo's family and particularly moms suspect a thing or two.

Flo... It is an open secret that deep down, they have felt for half their lifetime that they just don't know who they are, what is going on, and feels deeply insecure about it. They grew up as a child that was worked on in a lab for almost 3 years, greatly desired, welcome, and special due to their origins. They grew up in a golden world and were only ever scolded when endangering people.

All that got shattered in their teens. They learned the world isn't fair and easy to control, things aren't a binary black and white and easy to divide. The world is confusing, hurtful, hurting the innocent more than any. They stopped knowing who they were, who they are meant to be. They landed on some defining things - they still liked sports, they liked showbusiness, but would never truly in control of themself or their surroundings ever again. Even tho they won't admit it they still question everything they think or do up to this day, never feeling like either option gives them full control. Everyone who knows Flo can tell how mentally fragile they are, but they hide behind a delusional smile and their reputation of being a golden ray of sunshine that has been a farce for years.

Their greatest desire would be to finally be in control if their place in the world, and to properly define themself within it. But still all they get is more hurt...

🗡️ - Does this oc have a signature object, accessory, or weapon?

Their wedding rings.

Flo loves earrings, and finds it annoying lots of jewellery doesn't accomodate their ears.

Finn not really, but i can imagine him often carrying a pocketknife and bottle opener.

💛 - Are they ‘good with children’, or more awkward?

Good.

Flo's acted sunshineness and discipline makes them caring and patient, but with Gabi specifically it got awkward due to Flo's discovery she is actually their clone, and Finn's sudden reappearance.

Finn is quite householdy. He likes cooking, would be the fun dad throwing the coolest birthday parties with homemade delicacies. He's funny and sweet and has a all round cinnamon factor. And ifc, he can put up with Flo

[majachee]

any capper lore?

CAPPER LORE?? 👁👁

Still reading the main comics but from what I picked up Capper is from a cat kingdom called... Abyssinia. And it's full of anthro cat people. The kingdom was attacked and left in ruins by the Storm King (main off screen antagonist of the animated movie) when Capper was younger, and Capper's family was... implied to be killed? I believe? The comics are definitely heavier with its explicitness but its still frustratingly vague at times.

The vagueness of death in MLP always frustrated me as a child, I was the kind of child who wanted that kind of information told to me straight, I was always like that. I think that's why I liked transformers so much despite being a little young for some of the shows, the TF shows I watched explicitly told you when a character died. Either through characters talking or, like, on screen. Despite how that scared me sometimes. Issues I've had with shows since age 9, I guess...

Btw this isn't me saying MLP should have like.. violent bloody death scenes because it was never that kind of franchise. It just made little me mad that I couldn't figure out if "defeated" and "disappeared" meant died or... just. Defeated in a fight and injured, or just missing. Esp since kids shows tended to use thise phrases to mean both. End of tangent...

Anyways, after the conquering of Abyssinia, Capper made his way to Klugetown and did some scheming, got some debt, and then the events of the movie happened. Still reading the main comics, but he did eventually join the temporary Nightmare Knights and helped the Mane 6 against the Knights of Harmony.

My dude has a banger song and funny character so I love him dearly, and I am so mad I don't have more lore on hand about him.

One weird thing tho: all these different anthro animal kingdoms neighboring Equestria? Yeah, uh, they all walk on two legs and have hand-like appendages. And the ponies and yaks (and technically gryphons? They walk on all fours but they do have claes and disposable thumbs on their front legs so???) are really the only ones who don't, oddly enough. I guess it's because they're later additions to the show's universe, but eh???? Def interesting to wonder about, evolutionary wise. Take that odd observation as an apology for not having a lot of Capper lore at the moment.

[madara-fate]

Getting serious now, may I request you break down this ask? I think it's pretty interesting and I have to say I agree on the majority of that. https://www.tumblr.com/madara-fate/744028395906678784/with-tbv-i-hope-you-finally-realized-that-the?source=share

I was one of the first people that noticed they've copied Katsuyu's skill and gave it to the toads and I thought it was a bad move considering Katsuyu does that because she's a slug and she can modify the matter of her body, she's talking to herself like she was doing in the war. I was confused about the writing because if you have a character that can do that why take the ability and give it to someone else?

And I also wonder what's stopping the writers from making Sakura worry about her two missing teammates and Shikamaru turning to Sakura for help rather than be on his own as it would make the writing more rich. The character I know would do anything to get to the point and I'm not involving third parties here because there's a huge handful of people that can use telepathy but didn't Eida promise not to spy on Boruto? They can freely talk to him plus Eida feels bad about what she did. And she knows something's up with Konoha is gonna be invaded yet again. Wouldn't Shikamaru have access to one of those devices too for comms? They were used in War too.

What I mean is everybody only think of Sakura when there's a medical emergency but that ain't her only role and people make her very unidimensional talking about her like that. Shikamaru and Sakura have worked together before that's why it's so weird to me. Setting aside that Sakura is a jonin and can fight so her help is above. I don't understand why Shikamaru thinks he can trust no one when if there are people he can trust thise are Sakura and also Kakashi in my opinion.

It's boring that they use up to 4 characters per chapter and only 1 or 2 are from Naruto's gen. Is it so they don't overshadow anyone? Could it be because if Sakura appears she'd overshadow her best friend because she's the only female appearing in 4 years? I always make theories but tbh all point to that direction or else the writing is weird.

Sorry but I'm not interested in breaking that post down, as I said during my answer to it, I honestly just don't really care anymore if people want to think that way or not, that's their prerogative.

[maguro13-2]

Takina: Hey, Chisato. What you thinking on about a joke? What's so funny about it? Can't get those hentai jokes out of your head? Looks like you do need some therapy to get that out of your system.

Chisato : I just found out about a joke. It's a really a cool one and you must like it!

Mika : What joke would would we like here about it?

Takina : Okay. I would like to hear the joke, I hope those workplace of sex jokes is not how it works, and it's gotta be a better one than before those jokes, come on, Chisato. Think a joke, think of a "cool" joke. You gotta think another joke than before! What's the biggest joke that you wanna hear from yourself?

Mika: Please, Chisato. Just tell us what's this joke is about?

Chisato : This!

(the tripods are shown attacking the city)

Mika : Woah! What the hell are those things! Are they attacking the country, our country?

Chisato : They sure did.

Takina : Okay, that was pretty good and I am going to get this straight out just to breathe it in and breathe it ut. [inhales and exhales] Chisato, that you've really shown us the joke from before, there's really one teensy weensy problem that is your consideration and, umm, I got the perfect solution...[strained laugh] WHAT THE HELL WERE THESE THINGS AND WHY ARE THEY ATTACKING OUR COUNTRY!?! THIS IS MADNESS FOR CHR*ST'S SAKE!

Chisato : Hey, you said you wanted a joke that you all wanted to hear from me, so here's the joke that I am giving hentai artists a piece of our minds for humiliating us! That's what they'll get for making all that porn stuff out of us! So that is why I called the Tripods and started invading our town!

Mika : Tripods? Oh dear God!

Takina : THIS IS TERRIBLE AND WE'RE ALL GONNA F***ING DIE AND--Wait, what's a tripod? What the f*** is a Tripod!?

Chisato : Hey, woah! Watch the language! I'm not the only person who has ever brought up to this joke! You gotta take it all in and do it for the picture like always said! I got the perfect Joke here in Japan and anybody knows that I will be the one that is going to explain this joke!

Mika : And how do you explained this joke to us, Chisato? Thise Tripods are attacking the entire country and everyone is in deep sh*t!

Majima (from the background) : Yeah, tell us the joke from before! We want to hear it now!

Shinji : Chisato, Where did these Tripods come from and where did you get joke from anyway?

Chisato : Well, [nervously] I'm just nervous that I got it off from the internet and I just figured it out from that we were watching movie called War of the Worlds, where the humans on earth like us are having a war against the fighting-machines that are the tripods!. So here are the fighting machines that are the called the tripods in Japan! Pretty real for a joke there isn't, guys?

Shinji : I cannot believe this, you brought these aliens called Tripods for a "Joke". Not a hentai one, isn't there?

Chisato : No, but I did learned about any of the jokes, I am master of all Jokes and gags, I would be king of comedy myself, not just surprisingly to be amaze for myself isn't it? Those were thought to be good times, though.

Shinji : You just don't get it do ya. WE ARE SO F***ING DOOMED RIGHT NOW!

Mika : Wait, so you managed to come up with a joke that you never told us before? You mean the joke about alien-fighting machines that has two legs...and a "penis"?

Takina : And it's not just a bipod?

Chisato : Nope. Just a tripod joke that I heard about and not just the hentai jokes. It's one joke that is really ahead of us and now I how we understand it now. The Tripods are beings with three legs, count them three legs, or should I that their third leg is their "manhood". Pretty funny, eh?~

Takina : Well, I guess your're right about that, Chisato. You sure how to come up with a great joke, so I guess that Bipods are just two legged things, while the Tripods are alien-fighting machines that have two legs and a penis. You sure about that? Because we are aware of that, you know. It's what we think about these hentai jokes that is coming from before.

Shinji : Yeah, your'e right, Chisato. It is a funny joke about Tripods having two legs and penises, but not our penises, we don't have to touch each other.

Mika : Well, I guess you're not wrong for anything, Chisato. Bipods are two legged while the tripods aliens are two legs and of course, a penis.

Chisato : You got that right, teach. You got that right, anyway, that's the joke that I wanted to hear, to you guys. Besides, what's the worst thing that could happened to a tripod?

(BOOM!)

Tripod : AAH! MY D*CK!

Takina : Heh. Well I see your point tho.

Chisato : (nervously) Agree. This actually turned out well for us. Jokes are way simple and yet to be funnier even more. I guess it what matters when you gotta have some kind joke for laughter. It's basically a good one in the book

Mika : Well, it was a great move with those kind of aliens. Guess it did taught us a joke about those aliens.

[iris out]

[nanaban-kun]

3 15 29 for the ask meme

3: Do you smoke?

Not. Cigarettes. I used to smoke more regularly but we've switched methods. I do want to go back to smoking because I can control it easier but I need to get approved for it first.

15: Favorite movie

Scream or Disney Hercules. Usually I flip flop really hard but thise two are consistent top 3 so!!

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

Is it fair to say "because she was a bitch?" I don't lie very often since I hate doing it but with memory gaps things are bound to come out that seem like out right lying. The only intentional ones I can recall were all because the "friend" was being an ass and I wanted out of the situation. One of those I'll Say Anything To Get You Away From Me kind of things.

[neondeaddrops]

090423

Here we go lets try this again. Curently sitting in bathroom hiding from the vacuum. Depression at all time high. Don't know how much linger we can do this. Some days I feel like I've got it in control and I'm wearing it like a cloak, in thise times it can feel momentarily useful but I know its trying to drag me down. All my close friends moved away I still have friends I see regularly but we're VERY different and our friendship is very surface level. I think we'd still do a lot for eachother and we hang out all the time , but we can't talk about things and have different views of the world. I really need to move, but I'm not making any progress on my drowning swamp of credit card debt. My new job should help with that, it'll just take time. I've already wasted so much time. Sat around doing nothing for 10 years! Came out of some sort of depressive fog about 2 years ago and I've been making small improvements since. I know I have, but I still feel like I'm exactly where I started. I know it hasn't been a total waste I've grown and learned and become much more open-minded, but still. I'd really like to make some friends but I don't know where/how, the only social places in town are bars and I don't drink. Plus alchohol has had enough of an impact on my life through those around me, I don't really want to be around it a ton.

I feel like I slowly supressed my emotions because I eas called annoying so much when I was younger, that's probably why I have so much trouble connecting to people; I'm terrified of annoying them. Sometimes I try to come out of my shell but I invariably make an ass of myself so I'm always scared to try again. But I know nothing will change if I don't try again. I need to learn collect new experiences that someday I can be a real person again, instead of this disgusting whatever. No Migraine today though so thats neat.

Hmmm that was somewhat cathartic. I guess I'll keep going with something better. Ooo two posts a day would be good. One negative and one positive. And hopefully I can work toward making the negative one shorter than the positive.