#WHEN THE RYTHM IS GLAD

[mirensiart]

I know everyone has moved on, but "life it never die, women are my favorite guy" still plays on a loop in my brain 24/7 cause like, damn, women truly are my favorite guy

[hoe4sports]

It was always you

Jessie Fleming x reader

A/N: She’s long y’all

Warning: Divorce? None really

Summary: Post divorce, thinks have fallen into a rythm developing over the span of years. But one of you, falls out of that rythm and struggles keeping up.

Divorce. You couldn’t pinpoint exactly when it happened. Not the administrative part of the divorce with lawyers, documents, protocol and court; but the emotional part of the divorce. You had spent hours in the early stages of your divorce trying to figure out what went wrong, analysing every aspect of your relationship.

Sure, things had undoubly gotten tougher after adding a second child to the mix. But, the second child didn’t feel like the reason as to why the slipping apart had happened. Jessie had been the one to bring up the possibility of divorce; thinking it would solve all your problems. It was a civil divorce, you and your ex-wife only wanting the best for your children. Never talking bad about each other in front of the girls, never bringing new girlfriends into the family.

Your kids were happy, they felt loved and they were well taken care of. To you and Jessie, that was all that mattered. Your oldest, Lilly was a hopeless romantic. Even at 6 years old, she would beg her mom to buy flowers for you. It was one of the traits that she had gotten from Jessie. Your other daughter, Eden, had walked in her sister’s shoes, adapting her sister’s romantic trait into her own personality.

The agreement on the kids was easy, one week each, living in the same neighbourhood only 5 minutes apart for each other. It made the divorce easier on the kids, knowing that their other mom was right up the road. Every other holiday, and a few weeks each summer for travel was shared between the pair of you.

This particular day, you found yourself sitting outside on the front porch waiting for Jessie to drop the kids off. She had taken your 12 and 8 year old to Canada for some well needed family time. You didn’t mind, you had know Jessie’s family for years and they were the most welcoming group of people. They still invited you on vacations and Christmas, claiming that you were still family. It was funny, you and Jessie had both dated other girls in the span of time since the divorce. But, nothing had ever lasted.

When you saw Jessie’s car pulling up, you looked at your Golden retriever, Murphy and tapped his head. “Look Murph, the girls are home!” You cheered in your puppy voice. He was an old man now, 12 years old, but he was still young at heart.

When Eden hopped out, Murphy sprinted towards the driveway while wiggling his tail. “Murph! Mama!” Eden yelled while running towards you with only one shoe. She crashed into your legs and wrapped her arms around your frame. “I missed you mama” she whispered while squeezed your legs extra hard. “I missed you too doll” you comforted while rubbing her back before she slipped inside to find her Barbie dolls.

“Where is my teen?” You yelled out while your daughter very quietly walked towards you. She was moving into her “cool teenage” phase of her life, and she never wanted to do anything “uncool”.

“Hi mama” she said calmly once coming to greet you. You instantly wrapped her into a hug. “I missed you lots my little girl” you whispered into her hair before giving her kisses on her cheeks. “Okay, okay, I’m gonna go to my room and call Kennedy” she said while wiping off the kiss eager to talk to her bestfriend.

Jessie came up with the girls suitcases smiling with her cap on. “Hi, here’s their bags. Mom washed most of their clothes so it wouldn’t be too much on you” she stated while placing carrying the suitcases up the little stairs with Murphy in her heels. After she placed down the suitcases, she turned around to your puppy and gave him pets. He instantly got excited wiggling his butt like only golden’s can.

“Hi Jess, how was Canada?”

“Good, I love showing the girls off to the family. I’m so proud of them, it’s ridiculous”

“I’m glad, how is momma?”

“She’s good, healthy. Back doing her water aerobics twice a week. She told me to give you a hug from her” Jessie shrugged while looking at the tips of her shoes.

You wrapped her into a hug, just like the old days. It wasn’t unusual for you to hug, but this hug felt different. Perhaps it was because it was from her mom, you figured. The hug lasted longer than usual, a sense of uncertainty lingering in the air.

“She told me to convince you to come to Canada. Grandma misses you too” Jessie said while finally looking up at you blushing.

“Aaw, that’s so sweet! But, you know I can’t” you finished looking at Murphy who was shoving his head in your hand.

“Right, right, see you next week?” Jessie said, eager to wrap up the conversation. It wasn’t really like her. Normally, she had plenty of time to chat and hang around.

“Busy? Are you meeting up with someone? Someone special?” You teased poking her shoulder. She gave you a faint smile.

“Something like that” She replied with a smirk on her face. You smiled politely back at her feeling uneasy about her dating some new, but at this point in life; it had been years since the last date with another woman. The pair of you said your goodbyes before you entered your home with the girls suitcases. “Well”, you thought to yourself, “I have to get to working on this unpacking”.

-

Later that day, you found yourself stood in the kitchen in front of the stove cooking up some pancakes for the girls to eat before bedtime. This was a tradition you had since they were young; every Sunday you sat down as a family and ate pancakes before bedtime while taking about anything and everything.

“Mama, I made you a picture! Do you wanna see it?” Your youngest squealed, in love with art from a young age. “Yes love, I always want to see your art” you confirmed while flipping the last pancake. Eden ran upstairs to her room to get her binder. It held drawings from when she was just a baby back in kindergarten. You loved taking care of the art, knowing that watching the pictures was a glimpse into her head at that time.

Your oldest appeared from the living room at the smell of pancakes. “Are the pancakes ready soon? Do you want any help?” She asked leaning into your side wanting some affection. You wrapped your arm around her side holding her in your embrace. “If you want to, you could set the table?” You suggested in which she immediately nodded to and got to work. Even though she was becoming a teenager, she was still always wanting to be helpful and close to her mom.

Eden came tumbling down the stairs with her files bringing it into the kitchen flipping through the pages. “Here it is! I already put it in, but it’s me, nana, Lilly and mommy in Canada! And this, this is Elena’s dog.” She said while pointing to something that looked more like a sheep than a dog. You scrunched your nose when your daughter mentioned Elena, Jessie’s Canadian ex. You didn’t know that they had seen Elena in Canadian which was out of character for Jessie. “Wow, amazing! Did you see Elena in Canada?” You asked eagerly without wanting to snoop around. “Yes, she came for dinner. Nana made a roast” she said as she shrugged. The thought made you uncomfortable, and you immediately decided to change the topic.

“Alright girls, pancakes are ready” you announced flopping the last pancake onto the plate and turning towards the table. The three of you sat down at the dark oak table chatting lightly about school and football. The girls both played football, and both of them were excited for school to start.

“So, how was Canada girls?” You asked while looking at Lilly. Lilly shrugged her shoulders just like teenagers do. “We went to this market with lots of little stands were people sold lots of things. I even saw someone selling crochet frogs!” Eden said excitedly happily munching on her food. “Wow, did you buy it?” You followed up. “No, they only had green and I wanted pink, so I got a pink scrunchie instead!” She continued blabbering on about Canada.

After pancakes and washing up, the girls had both gotten ready for bed. You checked your youngest first, who was soundly asleep holding on to her stuffed sheep. You reached for the duvet and pulled it up wrapping her in like when she was little. Then, you headed to Lilly’s room. Her room was tidy, but that was one of her traits: she was very organised.

“Hi mama” she said while yawning in her bed, a book in her lap. “Hi baby, ready for bed?” You asked scooting into her bed wrapping your arms around her. “Yea..” she started before tearing up a bit, quickly swallowing her tears away. “I missed you mom, it’s not the same without you” your daughter pleaded leaning towards your chest. “I missed you too doll, and I wish things weren’t like this. I know that Eden dosent really remember when me and mommy used to live together, but I know you do. It’s very valid and I wish we could’ve worked it out.” You assured her feeling her relax in your arms. Hair long hair was hanging on her shoulders, and you immediately started humming while brushing through her locks with your hands.

After a few minutes, her breathing had slowed down and she showed signs of being asleep. You eased her out of your arms and into her bed before kissing her forehead, and moving towards the door. Your hands reached for the light switch, but before you could turn it off; you heard a voice. “You know that mom still is in love with you?” she whispered out her eyes being closed, just moments away from falling asleep. “Good night, princess. I love you forever” you hushed leaving her room quietly. Both the girls preferred to sleep with their door slightly open, just in case they need their mom. You loved it, making you feel like you are still the mom to two little girls instead of soon teenagers.

You hopped down the stairs to clean up the kitchen, the words of your daughter lingering in the back of your head. You had been warned about kids of divorce wanting their parents to get back together, but this felt different. She had previously begged you to go on a date with her teacher, convinced that you were a match.

As you cleared the table, plate by plate being moved into the dishwasher, you couldn’t help but think about what life could’ve been like. You and Jessie had met young, just after she had gone to Europe and you stayed together for over 10 years. It was weird how it all came to an end, you couldn’t really remember why you ended things. Maybe it was a silly argument? Or maybe Jessie’s busy lifestyle?

After clearing the table, you went to wipe off the surface noticing your daughter’s book of drawings. You sat down in front of it, opening it and watching picture by picture pass. Hours upon hours of work, all to be shown to her family. She took pride in her drawings, drawing her feelings.

One picture was two houses next to each other. One person infront of each door, two little girls moving between houses. It was cute, all of them looked happy. That was the confusing part for you; why would Lilly say that Jessie was still in love with you, when she seemed perfectly happy with the custody solution.

The next picture was with your daughter in bed, your puppy sleeping next to her. She had always loved the golden retriever. Even back when she was a little girl, she would occasionally fall asleep leaning onto the dog. It was a relationship like no other.

As you sat and admired the pictures, you heard the sound of your dogs paws shuffling downstairs. He immediately waked into the kitchen and looked at you while whining.

“Are you waiting for me to come night night?” You asked in your puppy voice. The dog immediately wagged his tail in excitement bonking his nose into your leg. You got up from the chair, and brought the book of drawings with you, following your dog to your bedroom door. After opening up your bedroom, he leaped into your bed taking his usual spot by the pillow. He ways slept with you, you hadn’t really slept next to anyone but Jessie. Expect from your girls, but that dosent count.

After finishing up your skincare, you stood by the sink brushing your teeth listening to the soft snores of your dog. It made you smile seeing him knocked out, the excitement of having the girls back bringing him joy.

As you brushed your teeth, you flipped through the book of drawings watching her arts. Fingers tracing the drawings, taking notice of each carefully placed line. One of the pictures, had stuck to you. It was a picture of you, Jessie and your two girls eating ice cream in the park. She naturally had included Murphy in the picture, adding an ice cream to the top of his head. You giggled looking at it, quickly finishing your brushing to take a picture of the drawing.

You

Look what Eden drew, she’s hilarious!

*photo attached*

Seen

You huffed in annoyance when Jessie left you on read, assuming she was busy doing some kind of football related stretch at home. The lights were then turned off, and you were quick to go to bed.

-

A few months later, the summer was over and school was back. Luckily for you, the girls loved school. Eden’s favourite subject was Math and Lilly’s favourite subject was science. You truly felt blessed by having kids that were this easy.

“Is mommy coming over later?” Eden asked nervously fumbling with her backpack. You looked into the rear view mirror. “Of course she is” you confirmed giving your Oscar winning smile. Truth was that Jessie had missed out on your weekly dinners for the last few weeks. It wasn’t just you who were bothered by it, so was your girls.

“Bye mommy!” Eden shouted jumping out of your car before skipping down to the school meeting up with her friends. The group of them walked in together. It was routine, they always waited for each other.

This morning after dropping the girls off, the annoyance you had felt regarding Jessie was rapidly growing. She had changed for the worse since the end of the summer: never answering your messages or your calls. Forgetting to come to family dinners. It annoyed you to a t when Lilly came beaming downstairs saying that she had talked to Jessie on the phone.

Your solution to this was having Eden ask Jessie over for dinner. Now, it wasn’t unusual for you to have dinner together. It was fairly normal on your household; but Jessie hadn’t answered your invitations. However, you knew that she would do anything for her daughters.

That was how you had ended up cooking favourite meal; your authentic pasta carbonara after work. If she wasn’t gonna talk to you, she was gonna be forced to eat your food in your presence.

“Mama, I think she’s coming!” Eden yells excitedly jumping up and down making Murphy bark while happily wagging his butt. Your oldest came skipping down the stairs when she heard your youngest announcement.

Eden opened the door up and full on launched at Jessie, wrapping her body around her like a koala. “Mommy, you came!” She giggled holding Jessie tight. “Of course, anything for my girls” Jessie said while hugging her back.

When she moved inside, she quickly petted Murphy before wrapping your oldest into a bear hug holding her tight. “How are you today, girls?” She asked looking at the pair of them. Eden looked like she was about to burst out information, but eagerly looked at her sister’s approval.

“Go ahead, Eds” Lilly giggled knowing what was about to happen.

“Okay, so today at maths this stupid boy, Jacob, threw a pencil at me! So I hid his calculator, and then after maths, I had lunch! It was chicken, I just love chicken! And then, Tilly told me about how she and her parents are going to France for Christmas and she promised me a postcard, and THEN, we had a pop quiz in English and I had no mistakes so I got a sticker AND THEN when I walked home, I saw a squirrel!” She said spewing out all her thoughts making you and her sister giggle while Jessie stood with wide eyes looking at her.

“Oh my, sounds like you had an eventful day” Jessie said scratching the back of her neck. “What about your day, Lils?”

“Hmm, it was okay. Kennedy and I played football with the boys during recess.” She shrugged in her typical teenage character.

“Wow,did they play rough?” Jessie wondered.

“Well, duuh! But it’s okay because I’m faster and I’m better, so they can’t catch me” Lilly brags proudly crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“You are so clever, I’m so proud of you both” Jessie said pulling both her girls into a hug.

-

At the dinner table, conversation was somewhat limited. Jessie didn’t really take initiative to talk to you, rather talking to you through the girls. The girls happily chatted along with her. It was weird, you thought, feeling like a stranger in your own home.

While munching on pasta Eden decided to drop a bomb.

“Mommy, do you miss living in our house?” Eden asked curiously looking Jessie dead in the eye. Jessie immediately chocked on a piece of pasta making her cough while having a terrified look in her face. Lilly shot you a look whispering “this is about to be good” making you smile of her sassy comment.

“Uh, I mean, I miss seeing you girls everyday, but I have my house now” Jessie tried hoping the answer was enough for Eden.

“But your house is small, I like this house better” Eden complained forcing you to turn around to not break out in laughter. She pouted her lips and crossed her arm. Your eyes shifted to your oldest who looked like she was about to collapse into a laughing fit, making you smiles

“Yea, i get that..” Jessie tried before looking towards you for help. “How is work?” You asked giving her a helping hand out of the awkwardness. Jessie shot you a look mixed of relief and gratitude before nodding. “It’s good, I’m going back to play with Canada soon. We have a game against Norway” Jessie finished.

“Where is Norway?” Eden asked curiously. “It’s at the top of Europe, close to the North Pole” Lilly lectured, making her sister’s eyes widen at the answer. “Wow, I wanna go to the North Pole! Mommy, can I come? And Lilly? And mama?” She begged giving Jessie her best puppy dog eyes .

Jessie looked sweaty for the millionth time during dinner, once again looking at your for help. “Norway is very far away, but maybe we can make it work? I’ll talk to mom about it after bedtime” you reassured your youngest carbon copy of Jessie. She seemed happy with the response and munched happily on her pasta again.

After the four of you had finished eating, the whole family was helping clearing the table. Jessie still hadn’t said much except typical polite talk, not normal to her considering she was quite the talker. Just as you finished cleaning, Jessie announced her departure.

“Mommy, can’t you stay until bedtime? Please mommy, you are never here at mama’s house anymore” Eden begged with her big brown eyes looking up at Jessie. She tugged on Jessie’s arm trying to launch onto her. Jessie’s cheeks flushed, and she rubbed her neck searching for the smallest bit of comfort. “Uh..I..Well, I have early practice tomorrow…” She stuttered seeing her daughter’s heart break in front of her. Eden’s shoulders lowered, and her face turned into a frown. “Okay, okay mom, thats fine. Mama always have time to read my bedtime story.. Bye” Eden turned around and walked upstairs, her sister giving Jessie an annoyed look.

“Doll, would you mind going after your sister? I’ll say bye to mama, and then I’ll be right there, pinkypromise” Lilly nodded her head, moving up the stairs to find her sister. But before she walked away from the stairs, she turned to look down at Jessie.

“Jessie, I think you really hurt sissy. She misses family dinners, and family nights, she talked about this all week. But it’s okay, because mama is always here to pick up the pieces, always making up excuses for you so that Eden dosent feel sad” she spat out leaving you feeling caught off guard while Jessie felt like the worst human in the world. Hearing her daughter call her out, and call her what was her government name instead of her most valued title.

Jessie felt uneasy, not sure how to handle the situation. All she wanted, was to get out of the house that she once had lived in. A part of her didn’t understand how you managed to live in the house with only the girls and your dog. How you were able to live in a house that was once filled with endless love. With to happy parents. Because recently, whenever she came over to pick up the girls or drop them off, she felt this heavy feeling in her gut having regrets about the divorce.

You heard your youngest sob upstairs before her bedroom door shut closed again. Jessie’s gaze met yours, and you gave her a sad look. “I’m gonna go deal with the girls, and I think you should leave.” You said moving towards the stairs. “You have the key, lock the door on the way out” you asked while moving upwards. Jessie stood still at the bottom of the stars on the verge of tears. “And for reference, I don’t know what’s going on with you lately; but you really hurt them, you know” and with that, you cleared the staircase moving in direction of your girls. At the drop of your last word, Jessie felt the tears press in her eyes. She looked at the staircase debating whenever to go after you, but she was too embarrassed of her own actions.

All Jessie wanted was for her family to feel prioritised, and important. But all she felt like she had done, was that she had failed you. She failed her duties as a wife, failed her marriage, she failed your agreements after the divorce and now she had failed her children. It hurt more than she could’ve ever imagined, and she quickly turned around to leave the house, locking the door on the way out.

You embraced your youngest who was sobbing in your arms, her older sister sitting across from you. “Eden, I’m sure she doesn’t mean it like that” you spoke trying to comfort the little girl. “But mama, she never used to be like this when I was a baby” Eden’s sob forced her to stop mid sentence, her clinging to you like back when she was a baby that didn’t want to go to kindergarten.

“I know love, and it’s not right of her to be like this to you, to both of you girls.” You said, trying to take notice of your oldest’s state of mind. “Mom..Do you think she doesn’t love us? Maybe she has found another family with another mom with other kids and other dogs and other houses..” your oldest spat out on the verge of tears. Their statements were bearing witness of the hormones about to change them from little girls to hormonal teenagers.

“Okay, girls. I know that we are feeling sad, and that’s okay. We are allowed to feel whatever we are feeling, it’s valid. But, I think your mom is going through something that makes her feel distant and spacey. She hasn’t been like this before. How about I try to talk to her?” You negotiated, trying to spare Jessie’s reputation. The girls nodded while sniffling in synch.

“How about we go to my bedroom, and we can watch tv until we fall asleep in mommy’s bed?” You suggested watching a spark light up in the girls eyes. They immediately eyed each other while nodding before getting up racing down the hallway, your dog bouncing after them. It made your heart swell: your daughter’s wholeheartedly giggles and your dog’s happy barks.

-

After the girls fell asleep, you got out of bed and sneaked yourself downstairs with your phone feeling determined to get an answer out of Jessie. You immediately dialed her number, waiting for her to pick up.

“Hi.. Is everything okay?”

“Hi, Jess. It’s me. What’s up?”

“What do you mean? I just got out of the shower, about to get ready for bed”

You rolled your eyes over her trying to play off cool.

“Stop being a comedian, it’s not working. What’s up with you recently?”

Jessie held a long silence terrified to say something wrong, that was if she could get something out.

“It’s nothing”

“Jess..”

“What? It’s nothing!”

You could hear Jessie getting annoyed, and for some reason: that annoyed you. She knew that you had figured out that she was going through something, and she hated that. You let out a groan in annoyance.

“For fucks sake, Jessie. We were married for many years, we had kids together; I know you better than this. Something is wrong, but you refuse to talk about it.”

Jessie felt like she was getting scolded, and perhaps that was what she needed; someone to talk sense into her. The truth was that everyone had noticed: her coaches had benched her, her teammates were confused and her mom was worried. Jessie hated carrying around this big bomb because it felt like it was about to explode at any second.

“Uh..It’s just..I should maybe talk to you about this in person”

A part of her felt like this might be good for her. To talk to someone about the problem. Someone who wouldn’t judge, and surely the woman she had kids with wouldn’t judge her for anything.

“Is it another woman?”

Jessie gasped in shock. How could you believe that?

“Sorry, but what?”

“Is there another woman? It’s fine if it is, I’m happy for you”

Jessie felt like throwing up by the thought of another woman. She didn’t want other women: she wanted her woman.

“Yea no, how about i stop by after work tomorrow?”

Jessie suggested, mentally kicking herself for forcing a conversation about the topic.

“After 21, then the girls will be asleep and we’ll have some privacy”

“O-okay, see you tomorrow then?”

“See you soon, Jess”

Jessie hung up feeling her heart beat rapidly, terrified of what was to come. She had lost you once, and she was terrified to lose you again. If you didn’t want to coparent with her anymore; that would be devastating for her. Possibly, career ending. She missed seeing you and the girls in the stands. She missed having the girls as her mascots. She missed having you come down to the pitch with the girls after games, Jessie chasing around Lilly while you carried Eden who was still a bay. Tears filled Jessie’s eyes as she sat on the edge of her bed. Tears of fear, frustration and anger for the divorce she had ended up in.

-

The following evening, you put the girls to bed waiting until they were asleep before texting Jessie to come over. You were happy to sort out whatever Jessie’s sudden problems was, just hoping that it wasn’t gonna be something related to your kids. A wave of nervousness dawned upon you, which lead to to quickly tidy up the house. Cups were moved to the dishwasher, the floor was hoovered and you made sure to fluff the pillows up. 10 minutes later, you heard knocking on your door.

Jessie stood nervously outside of the door waiting for you to open up the door. A part of her felt uneasy about opening up the door to let herself in; this wasn’t her home anymore, and she wanted to respect your boundaries.

You flung open the door looking at her with a smile, but you frowned when you saw her sad face.

“Damn, is this going to be one of those conversations?” You mumbled underneath your breath feeling Jessie’s sadness flare onto you. Jessie shot you a dirty look before mumbling something along the lines of “I heard that”.

“Feel free to sit”

You wanted her to take the lead on the situation, that way she could control the conversation. She slowly sat down on the couch looking like she was about to shit her own pants.

“Jessie? You seem like you are about to pass out. Relax! I’ve seen you naked” you teased hoping to make Jessie laugh, but your attempt at humor only got rewarded with a chuckle.

Jessie gulped trying to swallow the dry feeling in her throat without much success. She watched you sit down in the chair across from her, making her feel insecure.

You looked at her, waiting for her to talk.

“Jess? It’s okay, you can talk about whatever you want to, I won’t judge” you comforted her trying to meet her gaze. Jessie’s eye were glued to the floor, not bothering to give you as much as a glance.

“Could you maybe sit here?” Jessie spoke out, voice just above a whisper. Her hand patted the couch pillow next to her. You immediately got up and sat down next to her. Your feet sat down crisscross and you turned to face her.

“What’s going on, love?” You said looking into her eyes, her old nickname slipping out of your lips like air. Her heart fluttered over the use of her nickname, feeling an ache to have things back to what they once were.

Jessie looked up at you trying to find words, but she couldn’t spell out a single syllable. Her face ended up looking like a fish heaping for air rather than a person trying to speak.

“Here”, you said, “take me hand” you suggested offering your hand to her. She grabbed your hand back without thinking, making her feel dumb for looking so desperate.

She looked up at you trying to figure out how to drop the bomb on you. She couldn’t speak. She ended up just sighing again and again.

“Jessie?”

Her gaze met yours, eyes looking fragile and vulnerable.

“Talk to me, please”

You wiped away a tear from her cheek, scared of whatever was gonna come out from her mouth. Worried that someone might be sick, that she was going to transfer to another team or that she had done something dumb.

“Listen, the girls and I just want what’s best for you. I can see that you are suffering inside, please, talk to me. I want to help” you pleaded looking into her eyes, rubbing her thigh carefully.

Jessie sniffed before taking in a deep breath.

“The reason I have been so distant lately…” she started, but stopping as her word came to a loss.

“I talked to my mom when we were in Canada, and she made me realise a few things”

You nodded encouraging while offering her a smile. Her words came to a stop again, not sure how to handle the situation.

“Alright, keep going” you whispered giving her hand a squeeze. “It’s just me, love”, you said trying your best to support her.

“You see, that’s the problem. It is you. It was always you.” Jessie blurted out making you feel confused.

“Uh, I’m sorry?” You tried, not sure why you were offering your apologies when you couldn’t pinpoint what you had done wrong.

“No, no, god no! It’s not something to be sorry about..”

“Then what is it?” You responded, frustration lingering underneath your skin.

Jessie looked at you, at a loss for words once again. Her gaze felt intense, like she was staring into your soul. Her face moved towards yours.

“It was always you, y/n” Jessie whispered before closing the gap between you. The kiss lasted for a few seconds before you both pulled apart. You looked at Jessie, feeling confused.

“I miss you, I miss us. Leaving you, the kids, hell even Murphy was the biggest mistake of my life. The divorce was the biggest mistake of my life, and I know that you probably don’t feel the same anymore, and that’s okay. But I just, ugh, nobody will ever compare to you. I want you back, I want our life back, I want to wake up next to you again and know that I made the best decision when I married you.I don’t even know how to g-“

“Shut up, and kiss me Jess” you responded looking in her eyes feeling touched by the vulnerability of the moment. Jessie looked into your eyes before closing them and closing the gap between us, starting the process of rebuilding what once had been torn apart.

[goddessofroyalty]

i went through the zaun family au tag (plus a little of work/life balance but i prefer the former lol sorry!) and i dont think youve gotten into many details of how jayce and viktor cope with a newborn baby? clearly viktor wants to go back to the lab asap, and he does carry naph around in a sling, but it's not something he can do like. the next day after popping out that kid.

(admittedly i just want more of jayvik + their baby 😔 you manage to get them soooo right)

Glad you've enjoyed it.

I don't think I've rambled much about Jayce and Viktor with their newborn (more about once things have settled).

Because we are basing this in Zaun Family I'm going to stay with a comparison. I think where Silco during those early days after the birth kind of curls around the newborn to the point where even Vander has to convince him to be able to see them and that only getting more intense the worse the labor and delivery are, Viktor during those early days kind of dissociates and leaves the baby caring to Jayce and it goes on for longer/is more intense the worse the labor and delivery are. He's in a least a decent amount of pain, has gone through an intense experience, and hasn't been able to (and still can't) return to his lab to like 'ground' himself with his work. I've heard some people talk about feeling like their body wasn't their own in those very early hours/days after giving birth and I think Viktor falls into that camp.

I do think both Jayce and Viktor knew that Jayce would probably be doing the bulk of the baby caring in the days immediately following the birth. They didn't have a sit down conversation about it but they know Viktor will need to rest and recover and Jayce kind of needs to do it to help his own feelings of uselessness throughout the pregnancy. It does frustrate Viktor because they're meant to be partners and right now Jayce is doing most/all the work while he's basically stuck in bed recovering but also... Viktor did all(/most - Jayce was a very attentive support through the pregnancy) of the work to that point. Viktor doesn't do nothing but at the start all he can kind of do is hold Naph while Jayce organises things.

Obviously as Viktor heals and is able to do more (and return to his lab - that probably feels like a turning point day of being Himself again for him) the dissociation fades and they more find their rythm together and it does end up being that more equal split that I've talked about previously.

Ximena also probably basically moves in with them the last days before Naph is born and for that early period while they are adapting. But she is very much the Good example of a grandparent moving in when the baby's born. She's there if they need her but is mostly dealing with the day-to-day life stuff (you know organizing food, doing the dishes, emptying the bins) so they don't have to think about it while they adapt to life with a baby (and while Viktor is kind of out of action).

[lilrobinbird]

Knock-knock-knock knock-knock found this creature a bit difficult to boop, but how are you doing? :)

Are you still playing the guitar? And what songs do you like to play?

I'm back from the trip!! The creature is catched and ready to be booped :^] (it's a different bird but pay that no mind lol) This is one of the museums paintings, I'll put more under the cut

This got a little long so be prepared, also if there's any typos it's bcs I'm typing on my laptop where no autocorrect can save me

I'm still playing guitar but not too much, I'll probably get bored soon lol😅😅 It's very fun but I want to draw more in my free time again. (also there was hades 2 update which means I need to play again shfhs) Guitar now is just something I remember exists every few months or years. In highschool I started learning the last of us game main theme, so I'm mostly trying to play it again but I'm not as smooth with my fingers as I used to be. I'm trying some new songs from hades soundtrack too but otherwise I'm also just playing random chords and trying to learn new ones. Muscle memory kicked in with the most basic ones so I'm glad hehe but there are many more others that are harder or that I never learned at all. Or the ones where I always remember the fingers position but pressing them correctly and hard enough is tough lolol. Mostly when you have to hold a few strings + you use one whole finger to hold every strings at the same time (the line here is what shows this)

And now about the trip, we went to that concert I maybe mentioned and I could feel the drums inside my chest, I was scared my heart would start beating to the uneven rythm of them sfsudjsjgs. Weird feeling but I got used to it after some time and it was fun. Have you ever been to a concert btw? I only remember you've been to some festivals

I think I like concerts but I wouldn't go to them too often, very loud event lol but well that's the point of them

And more fun was definitely the warsaw national museum

flexing angel 💪

artist's barely disguised fetish

snakes🐍

bear! At first I thought he's attacking them but he's already dead and they're going back from hunting😩 still amazing painting

and some random stuff

sadly there's image limit but if I find some more pics worthy posting I'll put them in a rb

And how are you, what were you doing lately?

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

just wanted to let you know that your lmk amvs are some of the best amvs i’ve ever seen in my life and i love them so very much! the way you hit beats and use similar scene compositions to create such technically impressive masterpieces leaves me in awe no matter how many times i rewatch them.

i also really appreciate the way you incorporate sounds/dialogue from the show itself. for some amvs that do that, the show audio is either weirdly loud or muddy, but you do it so well without overriding the music.

the “are you kidding me” amv pretty much makes my jaw drop every time. using the camera movements like that?? stunning!! the “Hello” amv is probably my favorite because of the snappiness of the editing during the glitchy part about three-quarters of the way through. you’ve also introduced me to so many fun songs! so yeah, your amvs are amazing (recently watched some of your sonic ones and the trend continues!!) and thank you for sharing them with us!

Aaaaaa <333 y'all be heckin sweet. I adored making edits for lmk and maaan it really was so much fun that hello one was one of my favorites too the glitch part was the whole reason I made it so its!!! :33 man it's so awesome thats a favourite part for you <3 I gotta say lmk spoiled me when it came to how easy it was to make amvs for it, it takes a little more work making Sonic things so I'm glad the quality is staying similar! I love making amvs I love having the shows audio overlapping with the music in rythm and things to the beat i love smooth transitions using similar scenes. It's an amv style that not everyone enjoys so I'm so happy when I hear people like em

[herricasat]

when the rythm is glad there is nothing to be sad

[riddles-fiddles]

Hey, its me again! I just had another idea for a fic!! Leona and/or Silver with a s/o Yuu who likes to take naps with them and cuddle. They also don't mind where those naps take place, Leona wants to sleep in the botanical garden? He needs to make space for his herbivore. Silver accidentally falls asleep while they're studying? Looks like a sleepover to Yuu!

My gods, I love those kind of fluffy scenarios so much T_T also thank you for requesting for my baby Silver! I was aching to be able to write for him some time!!! <3

Synopsis: just cuddling and falling asleep in each other's arms Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Silver Tags: SFW, fluff, cozy lovey scenario Notes: implied narcolepsy by Silver's part, sorry if this feels too short </3

"Don't you have some classes to attend, herbivore?" Leona scoffs with contained annoyance as you motion to sit down beside him, leaning against the tree he was unsuspiciously sleeping against just some seconds ago - you should know by now that he is far from happy every time someone comes to wake him up. He doesn't even need to open his eyes to know it's you; he knows your scent and the way your shoes clap on the floor with a certain rythm, so he's not as tense and irritated as expected when being disturbed by someone else.

His ears twitch with curiosity when your response to his harsh remark is to simply chuckle with an amused tone, your low tone welcoming his attention in a way only you could capture. "Actually, I just thought it would be nice to nap a bit. My class is taking flight, so it's not like I'll miss much on the lessons."

Leona merely hums with lazy understanding at your reasons, crossing his arms above his chest as he shifted slightly, trying to make himself comfortable again, and when you lay your head on his shoulder, he goes stiff for a moment, careful to stay as still as possible as you snuggle closer to his body, skin shivering by the welcoming feeling of your warm hands wrapping around his waist in a loose hug.

A low sigh of contentment falls from his lips as he finally adjusts, tilting his head to carefully rest over the top of yours in a silent, humble act of affection and protectiveness. Leona takes in the sweet, relaxing scent of your hair, the enveloping heat that your body radiates a beacon of reassurance and bliss for him. Leona reveled on the way you effortlessly worked his heart to beat faster for your innocent antics, and at the same time relax at your comforting embrace, your rythmic breath lulling him to sleep.

Next time he's out searching for good spots to nap, Leona hopes that you'll be ditching classes again, and this time he'll be sure to bring a blanket too, just in case.

It doesn't matter where Silver is sleeping, as long as he can feel you within his reach, anywhere is good enough. Most of times he fell asleep without even noticing it, he would feel embarrassed, knowing it was mostly in public places and it meant exposing his vulnerability to others.

But then you came along on his life, and somehow you're always by his side on those moments of what feels like black-outs for him, always looking and caring for his unconscious self. Though Silver recognizes how much his condition can be difficult to deal with, he's glad that it's still something you two can bond upon; he's the most happy when you seek him to cuddle lazily until you two slip off to a comfortable slumber.

When you invite Silver over Ramshackle Dorm to study together for your exams, you're already aware of his sudden sleepiness, so you set everything you think might be useful; food, plenty of water, a stimulating playlist to listen to while you scribble down important notes. You even wrote down a quiz regarding the most important tests to help memorize.

Silver sits in front of the small table on the lounge, brows furrowed and auroral eyes intensely scrapping every sentence on the alchemy book with resolute determination. You can't help but sometimes glance over your notebook to appreciate his focused expression, or check on him to make sure he was still awaken, pulling small talk to break the silence and keep Silver from dozing off.

But you're half an hour through the first test, and when you lift your eyes off the book to ask him something, you notice Silver's face slumped over his notes, a peaceful glow over the fair features. With a knowing sigh, you wrap a blanket over his shoulders before setting by his side, carefully snuggling under his arms - and even asleep, Silver seems to notice the press of your body, welcoming you to indulge on his embrace by wrapping an arm around you, instinctively coming closer to you. A delighted smile tugs at the corner of his lips, your touch and the warmth of your body a soothing reassurance for his sleepy consciousness.

[gpanada]

I just finished watching the ending for the n25 wl2 ending and just wanted to share my thoughts warning: (spoilers and a long yap and rant) sorry if its a bit all over the place

My siblings told me i was overreacting for crying at some fictional charactefs hahaha i just couldn't help it and also because i dont really care what they think... in the end Kanade never got to listen to her fathers song

We are def gonna get kanade angst seeming as she seemed to be a bit distance from the others also Mafuyu getting lonely without there daily meet up at 25:00 is so bittersweet

Mafuyu has really grown, not only that Ena and Mizuki as well, all of them being together in the end makes me so happy

I cried so much, more than ive ever cried in my whole life i think, i really just couldn't help it, i watched this fictional characters grow and interact and its just a story in a rythm game and yet i feel so emotionally attached to this characters and technically they are older than me i think

The ending is just... gosh

Kanade remebering Luka's words and creating a song

Ena finding that song and creating art for it and then getting a dm from K saying "Enanan thanks, i will be waiting on nightcord" then Ena remembering her times with them is just- thats the first few tears

Then a Kanaena moment (in my opinion) "Thanks K- no matter where i am, K would always find me huh" then the tears flow even more

And then Mizuki finding the same song and remembering the other members word- the tears starts to become uncontrollable (dont know if i spelled that right and idc)

"I think its because Amia expanded my world, thats why i was able to create that song" words from Kanade from what i remeber was Kana1 (sega can we PLEASE have more KanaMizu content)

"To have been able to see you after a long while.... Im glad" from Mafuyu, which i dont remember where she said it actually its either from the time that Mafuyu ran away from home after confronting her mother or maybe the Nooncord or maybe from the kanade side story

And finally.. the "Lets stay together Mizuki, everyone in Niigo is also waiting" from Ena after the disaster of Mizu5

After reminising she got a Dm from non other than K and maybe i managed to calm down but my pillows were definetly not safe from the amount of times i stopped myself from just punching it due to excitement

And then Mafuyu who remembers in which i assumed from the time where a classmate made Mafuyu listens to one of K's song that was more of a happy tune

Mafuyu who wanted to let them to experience the happiness a little longer and then Mafuyu listens to Kanade's song

And then Kanade runs up with a bit more stamina to Mafuyu calling her name, (soulmates in every universe fr) and i literally screamed when Mafuyu dropped the facade ahdhdhdhdh

Then they met up at their usual time and talked about how weird this dream they were having and talking about working until morning before a knock could be heard from Kanade's room

It was her father and that moment was when the tears started coming again like ahshshhs

They talked and Kanade's expression is just soo aughh she's so cute yet she looked so sad and almost about to cry

She then requested to hear her father sing again which made me cry so much and in the end she woke up before she even heard it... WHICH WAS THE MOST CRUELEST THING EVER I COULDN'T EVEN AHSHDHDHHD

WHYYY I CANNTTTT IM GONNA CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT

Honestly if i were in Kanade's situation as soon as i wake up, i would've started crying and she seemed like she wanted to cry when she also woke up

Like i get that it was supposed to be a happy moment that they were together again and not separated and alone but aghdhd

Tho Kanade's words are so sweet "no matter if its the past present or future, I'll definitely go search for everyone" ahdhdhdh and you know what this is one of the reason why i love polyniigo whether you see them as platonic or romantic i love their relationships and maybe thats why i cried so much even after the "show" is over..

[elliotly]

Dude I gotta say i LOVE LOVE LOVE your song eating my computer i still remember vividly the amazement and confusions when i listened the first time as the plot and lore changed and developed thru the song, like why can't my friends see you are you trapped in the computer in a time loop or am i just watching a crazy video unable to look away am I crazy are you even real? Love the mental images and you have such fun wordplays, rythms, just wonderful wordings like A MAN TRAPPED IN A MACHINE, IF THERE'S A GOD HOW COULD HE BE SO MEAN pleeeaase that line was so good !!!!!

Thank you!! (tho i can’t take credit for the plot hehe, it was based on an episode of a podcast called the magnus archives!) I’m glad yall enjoy it :)

[sad-scarred-sassy]

Elain exasperated, telling Feyre just how mistaken whoever made Lucien her mate was.

“He is insufferable, I cannot have one moment of peace when he’s around” Shes pacing in her little garden, Feyre holding Nyx in her lap while seated in a bench, listening to her sister. “He always has a comeback to everything I say” She throws her hands, palms up in exasperation as she continues pacing, eyes on the ground. “He’s cocky, he thinks he’s so smart and smug, with his… stupid smile” Images of his white teeth, pointy canines and lopsided smirk flash through her mind. “He thinks he can get me, thinks he knows me, he doesn’t know the first thing about me” She says to Feyre and her sister just shakes her head in agreement. “He’s always studying me…” She sees his infuriatingly cunning eyes, one of rust one of metal staring at her with long lowered lashes. “Assessing me like I’m some… prey” That glance she caught him throwing at her more than once, as if he was taking her all in, eating her up from head to toe. “He’s shameless, the words he uses” She feels her cheeks heat up a bit when she remembers how he had talked to her now that his gentleman act was gone. Now that he had learned what things get inside her skin. “He’s nothing more than a rake” She tells her sister and she nods quickly in agreement as his words flood her mind like thunderstorm. ‘If you don’t believe my gentleman act, Elain, you’ll be glad to know I don’t believe your proper lady act either’ He had told her a few hours ago in one of their latest heated exchanges. “He thinks he can seduce me with his wicked ways, with his big mouth” And plump lips. “His ridiculous hair” Always looking perfect as if he had been born like that. She scoffs and Feyre shakes her head again, Nyx scoffing too. ‘Find me when you’re finally ready to admit you cannot endure a second longer without me touching you’ He had said making her face light up in crimson heat as he breathed on her ear. ‘Rake’ She had managed to say. He had just chuckled. ‘Oh, I can show you how much of a rake I can be, my lady.’

“Elain?” Feyre snaps Elain’s attention back to the present moment. Her cheeks are still heating. She shakes her head.

“They made a mistake” She says again. “Whoever decided this, decided that he–“ She points at the house even though Lucien is no longer there. “Was to be my mate. We can’t be more incompatible. He brings out the worst in me… all I wanna do is slap him–“ Flashes of his soft smile invade her. “Yell at him” His broad hands trapping her hands and holding her up when she slipped on the frozen ground past winter make her stomach tighten. “He’s unpredictable” His broad back to her, dressed in fighting gear and his hair bound by a scrap of leather enthrall her all of a sudden. “I want him as far away from me-“ Him and his intoxicating, overwhelming smell of citrus, wood and a hint of cinnamon. “As physically possible” An image of his hard bare body, pressed onto hers, hips moving in a sinful rythm, take over her mind, images of a dream that haunt her more nights than she likes to admit. Slow touching of hands, sounds so unholy she could not understand how her mind could come up with something like that. Her nails on his broad back, the muscles on his frame rippling under them, the feeling of belonging, of contentment, of utter satisfaction possessing her whole…

She suddenly remembers Feyre and Nyx are both still there, when she brings her eyes towards her sister’s cooled, knowing stare and she realizes for once, just how screwed she actually is.

[queen-kassiopeia-the-5th]

So. I've just finished readimg all of the cosmere books, so here are some of my (personal) opinions. Let me know yours!

Favorite Book(s):

1. The Final Empire - Got me into the cosmere (even though Elnatris was the first Sanderson book I ever read)

2. Words of Radiance - Favorite Stormlight book

3. Tress of the Emerald Sea

Least favorite Book(s):

Rythm of War

Favorite Novella:

Edgedancer

Least Favorite Novella:

Mistborn the Secret History. A little too disjointed writing for my liking.

Favorite Character(s):

1. Kelsier - He got me inveated in the Final Empire in the first place. I also don't think his actions during that book are wrong. In my opinion, a drastic change of social norms and millenia of abuse and exploitation can only happen only thrpugh complete obliteration. I never understood how him targeting and killing nobles, complete and utter selfish villians who never chnaged their ways (we see them keeping the same patterns that kept them in power in A Well of Assention and Hero of Ages, and even still in Era 2). Him being a "con man" is also not really how I see it. His actions inspired they drive needed for Skaa and Vin to fight, both agains tge Rold Ruler and Ruin. He also kept on fighting and helping from the afterlife.

He (and all Scadrians) are being fashined into villians, as Thaidakar, even though the Ghostbloods protect Scadriel, where Harmony really couldn't. In mnay cases I agree with his idiologies, and if I had his powers, I too would strike down amyone in my way and thpse who threated those I care about. Also him suddently not caring for Marsh, when in Final Empire we saw they had a straine dyet loving brotherly relationship... But he will always live as Kelsier Final Empire in my mind and I love him.

2. Wayne!!!

3. Dalinar - Yes, parts of his actions annoy me, but he's the sort of character I gravitate towards. Also the ending of Oathbringer is *chefs kiss*. [For those asking, I love Kaladin, and want to give him the world, but he's a tad too idealistic for me, and our moral compasses don't align. I love his development and goign through all his struggles and uplifting those around him, but I disaagree with some of his actions, he's too clean cut for me]

Honorable mention - Hoid!!! He doesn't show up too much, but he's a delight when he's on page. So glad he inserted himself into the plot of Stormlight so we can see his full powers.

Powers I'd Most like to Have:

Allomancy. I work with metals on the daily (material science engeneer). I'd take only one sort of allomancy or feruchemy, too. Maybe only pewter, for an energy boost during the day, or a coppermind. Don't want to bond a Spren as fun as it sounds. My moral compass doesn't seem to align with amy of them, and I don't want the guild of killing one in breaking an oath. Also I'm not altruistic enough to be a Radiant. But yeah, all magic systems are cool and it's hard to pick only one that I'd want [*cough* *cough* Hemallurgy *cough*]

World I'd Most like to Live In:

Scadriel post catacendre and maybe Sel, now that the Reod is undone.

Group of People I'd like to Hang Out With:

The Wax and Wayne gang! Get me all the Kandra, Steris, Marasi, Allik, Renette and her wife. We're getting wasted! (And Steris has hangover cures in her handbag, and probably a grande launcher, just in case).

I'd love to listen to Hoid telling stories, actually, and do some shananigans with him.

As much as I love the crew in Mistborn Era 1 and Bridge Four, I'm a little too intimidated to hang out with either of them. But I think I'd have a blast with Rock.

Favorite non Human Race:

Kandra

Best Worldbuilding:

Stormlight Archive

Best Book Ending:

Hero of Ages.

Honorable mentions - Oathbringer, Sunlit Man.

Best Companions:

Aviars

[lashketchup]

WHEN THE RYTHM IS GLAD, THERE IS NOTHING TO BE SAAAAAD

[overwatch]

I never really understood eating disorders. I thought skinny people could just *eat*.

When I was hospitalized in Decemember I went 2 months without eating. Had to get those fun feeding tubes on my neck (jk, I had to get them re-done 3 times and it was one of the worst experiences in the whole finding out I had cancer business).

After I got the whipple surgery I had to re-learn how to eat. And even then, my body would just throw up everything. It was so painful to vomit, but my body always felt relieved of not having to eat.

I am glad to say that right now, not only am I eating again, but I am eating lots! And I love food again! But it was so hard to get here.

Anyway, the point of my post is that I wanted to share what helped me overcome my ED:

Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in Dungeon

I remember forcing myself to watch it and getting slightly nauseoted by the sight of food, even in anime, on the first episode. But I kept on watching and the way Laios and Senshi love food/cooking made me value and admire food again. I think by episode 2 I missed being able to cook myself.

2. Tzuyang

I am going to be honest, I was also ignorant about Mukbang. I thought it was just people forcing themselves to eat large quantities under a timer (there was a famous white youtuber who wasn't very healthy and was doing this for views, which was, regrettably, my introduction to the concept).

After many 'not interested' clicks on tiktoks about food content, somehow the Al Gore Rythm suggested Tzuyang. She's a very sweet person who genuinely loves food and eats because she loves to (so not forcing herself to eat large quantities).

So many times I found myself watching her eat to 'get' hungry and it worked. Even now, on my chemo days when I am not very hungry, I usually play her videos and it helps a ton.

So idk I hope these recommendations can help someone else going through something similar too!

[slamdunk-headcanons]

You sleep on his chest

I'm so glad that someone asked Akagi and Kogure headcanons because their definetly the most likely to be wonderful boyfriends and husbands. They deserve a lot of love! Thank you anon-chan who sent this wonderful ask. Part 2/3

Akagi Takenori

You are studying at his house.

Akagi is one of your best friends and he has a deep respect and admiration for you.

He's secretly in love with you but he thinks you're too much for him as he's a big guy who runs around the court with a orange ball in his big hand and you are a delicate angel with a deep personality, refined taste and a fascinating intelligence.

You've been studying really hard with his help because you want to get good grades to go to a good university (maybe try something abroad). But at the same time you have to deal with your house rotine, personal issues, and it's been particularly stressfull lately.

So you feel exausted.

It's close to 10'clock and Akagi notices your little head bumps and your heavy eyelids.

"We can stop for today, ___-san. You look pretty tired. I will take you h-"

"No Akagi, I'm fine", you answered rubbing your eyes with energy. "And I already asked you to stop using "-san" with me. It's weird. We're friends".

"So I'm going to make some coffee and black tea for us, ok?" "ok." "You can go watch something on the TV while I prepare everything" "Ok"

But as soon as you sit on the couch, it takes you just a few seconds to fall asleep. When Akagi notices the TV isn't on, he comes to see what's wrong and finds you asleep.

He calls you a few times, but you don't answer. So he sits beside you in the couch and calls you again. But you're sleeping deeply, so he starts to worry of what he would do. You sleeping at his house sounds so wrong (what would your parents think?), but he'll have to carry you all the way home ans this sounds WRONG TOO because he'll be touching you for SO LONG...

In your sleep, you start mumbling his name and he just FREEZES. You move, trying to find a more comfortable position and end up sliding down. As Akagi is at your side, you fall into his chest.

AKAGI IS ALMOST HAVING A HEART ATTACK AT THIS POINT

There's so much information going around Akagi's head that he just stay frozen. "I'm desonoring my promise to her parents and to HER that I'd never do something wrong with her AND HERE I AM TOUCHING HER LIKE THIS I'm an awlful person I'd never deserve her BUT I DON'T WANT TO WAKE HER UP she looks so tired and she's sleeping so peacefully..."

You wake up half an hour later still laying on Akagi's chest. You jump out of the couch when you realiuze you fell asleep ON AKAGI'S CHEST. He was there quiet, totally still, his hands on his legs, just serving as a support for you... As he always did in everthing.

"Oh my God, I'm SO SORRY, Akagi-kun! I was so careless and lazy to fall asleep during study, AND EVEN OVER YOU, I'M SO SOR-"

"____, you are tired! You fell asleep. That's normal. Now, I'll take you home. You have to rest or our studying will be useless. Your mind have to work well during the exams. Let's go"

He walks you home in a strange silence. You can't even dream that he can't stop thinking about you and your touch. He loooved to feel your heartbeat against his chest and the calm rythm of your breath.

Will he ever have the courage to say how he feels?

Kogure Kiminobu

You were invited to go to Shohoku's basketball team horror movie night at Ayako's house.

It's Friday, so your day at school was busy. You try to study for two hours after class as you are going to the movie night and could not study at home during the night. So you were tired and feeling sleepy.

You were not a big fan of horror movies because you always thought that everything looked so false that you never felt frighten watching them. But you find it kindda interesting

Kogure, your best friend who secretly loves you, notices you are sleepy during the movie. So, at the end, he offeres to pay a taxi for you because you both lived at the same street and it was far from Ayako's house.

Kogure helps you to get into the car. When you are both in, he tells the taxi driver your adress first. "You should rest more, ____-chan. You look really tired. Take this weekend to rest."

You nod, feeling your eyelids heavy. You barely process Kogure's words. The last thing you feel is your head falling to your left side...

Kogure is SHOOK. His whole face is a tomato.

HOW HE COULD EVER THOUGHT THAT HE WOULD END UP THAT NIGHT WITH HIS BEST FRIEND/CRUSH SLEEPING ON HIS CHEST???

He keeps his hands down while trying to calm his breathing, so the frenetic movement of his chest won't wake you up. So he foccus on your breathing and try to breathe in the same rythm.

When the taxi stops, he gently holds your shoulders and lift you up, putting you sitting straight on the car seat. You're so sleepy that you didn't even noticed you were sleeping in his chest.

Kogure pays the driver and asks him to wait. "I will walk her to the door".

When Kogure comes back, the taxi driver says gently: "You have a beautiful girlfriend." Kogure blushes again. "She's not my girlfriend". "Oh really?" he is sincerely surprised. "You two would make a good couple. Why don't you ask her out on a date?"

Kogure looks down sadly. "I don't want to lose her..."

[junhanism]

彡November night - Choi Yeonjun

Pairing. Choi Yeonjun x gn!reader

Genre. Fluff | bsf!yeonjun | bestfriends to lovers | mutual flirting | confession

Warnings. Yeonjun smokes (don't smoke it destroys your health !!), mention on cheating, barely proofread

Wc. 1164

You pushed open the cold gate with your hands half covered with your gray hoodie in an attempt to warm them from the windy cold night.

The loud creaking sound of the portal resonating in the dead of night alarmed the man standing in the distance under a flickering street light.

He turned in your direction, the smoke evacuating his mouth from both the cold and the cigarette he was smoking was enough for you to know who it was.

You silently walked through the gates and made your way to him, standing against the pole of the street lamp next to his freezing yet warm body.

 

"It's been a while, how are you doing ?" Your bestfriend asked, huffing out the smoke from his cigarette 

 

It has indeed being a while, both too caught up in your own lives you almost forgot about each other's existence and haven't talked to one another in almost 2 months. You missed him and your daily late night conversations over the phone, his laughter, his silly dad jokes, his smile and the comfort he would bring you by just being around. 

You obviously didn't want to lose your bestfriend this easily so one random morning you decided to text him and asked if you both could meet up someday to which he immediately agreed on.

He missed you just as much as you did but he was never going to admit it.

 

So here you were, standing next to Yeonjun during a cold November night. Despite the creepy atmosphere coming from the flickering light above you and the sound of air violently hitting against the tall trees, it felt as if you truly belonged there, with your bestfriend. 

 

"I'm doing fine" your voice was quiet yet loud enough for him to hear

"Glad to hear that" he takes a deep puff of his cigarette "You're still with that boy ?" He asked, finally locking eyes with you and it felt as if the time stopped for a second.

You gulped, looking away before answering "Nope"

His eyebrows almost flew to his hairline in shock before putting back on his composed facade "What ? Why ?" 

"He cheated"

"Damn" he exhaled

An awkward silence took place in between the both of you "You alright ?"

You let out a small chuckle at his clumsy attempt at breaking the ice "Yes I am. I lost feelings for him a while ago to be honest..."

He cocked an eyebrow at you in surprise "You did ?" "Yeah"

 

He took another puff before throwing his half-burnt cigarette on the ground and stepping on it.

"So.." He stuffed his hands in his pocket jeans and leaned against the side of the pole "Got someone in mind ?"

"Maybe yeah" you try your best to contain your smile when seeing his lips drawing into a smirk "Oh yeah ?" His eyebrows raise in a way that makes you wanna dig your own grave and be burried alive for the rest of your days "How is he ?"

Its now your turn to smirk despite the unusual rythm of your heartbeat "Calm.. Kind of a bastard but i love him" your smirk grow wider "Acts cold to everyone but me"

And with this one phrase you knew he got it.

 

"Ah, I get what you mean" he chuckles lightly "So he's basically just like me, isn't he ?"

"Kinda yeah" you gather enough courage to look at him only to find him already looking at you with a cocky grin on his beautiful features and it makes you want to slap him and kiss him a the same time.

"What if I told you..." He trails off "that i also like someone ?"

"Oh yeah ?" You mimic his earlier response "How is she ?"

"Mhh.." His eyebrows meets as his eyes squint, lips forming a playful pout, acting like he was thinking deeply

"She's nice... outgoing, she's actually everything to me, i don't think I would be where i am right now without her" 

Your heart skipped two beats at his confession. Blush rushed to your face, dusting your cheeks and ears in a deep cherry tint.

He smirked at your expression, resisiting the urge to pinch your cheek because of how cute you looked at that moment.

 

Suddenly his teasing expression crumbled down and you could hear him take in a deep breath before speaking

"Y/n i really like you, i have for quite some time now but i never told you cause you were dating that jerk..."

You couldn't control the small laugher that escaped your lips ; a laughter of both happiness, relief but also the stress you've been holding in ever since coming here.

"I think you already got it but... me too" you looked down, sudden embarrassment getting to you.

 

His hand reached out to lay against the side of your face, cold fingers gently grazing against your cheek "So you won't say no if do this ?" He leaned forward until your lips were only inches away from each other. His strong gaze looking at you straight in the eyes, hot breath fanning over your parted lips, he raised his eyebrows asking for your approval. 

"Go ahead" your voice was barely above a whisper but Yeonjun sure heard it and gently pressed his plumped lips against your soft ones.

His free hand travel to the small of your back, pulling you in even closer as one of your hands reached your his neck, the other one burried in his black dyed hair.

His lips left yours for a few seconds as he spoke "i want you to know..." he went back to kiss you, lips moving in sync as you both shared a passionate kiss. "You are really special to me" he whispered "I love being around you, i love every single thing about you"

His lips find yours again but this time for a more intense kiss, filled with longing, love, burning passion and a sense of relief.

 

"Damn i missed you so bad" he breathed out before going back to abusing your lips

 

After a few more shared kisses Yeonjun pulled away, a light blush covering his nose and cheeks and if you weren't in this situation right now you would've assumed it was from the cold.

He tucked a strand of your hair behind your ears, looking at you with lovesick eyes

"Will you be mine Y/n?" 

You pretended to think just to mess with him a little but a chuckle immediately bubbled up your throat upon seeing panic flash on his face.

"Of course i will dummy" you laughed as he let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding.

"If you're my girlfriend now... may i kiss you again ?"

"I guess so.." You playfully answered

He slowly smiled before kissing you again, pulling you impossibly closer to his body, holding you tightly as if you could vanish at any moment.

 

 

And that's how, after almost parting ways, you ended up dating your long time bestfriend.

✿ᴄʜᴇʀʀʏʜᴀᴋ

[franceblr]

zukka headcanon where zuko has a hard time talking about his emotions but finds tight spaces and sokka’s touch soothing. so whenever zuko has had a stressful or overwhelming day, he’ll wordlessly push sokka onto their bed, take off his shirt and climb in sokka’s lap and plaster himself to sokka’s bare chest and just breathe in sync with him. feeling sokka’s heartbeat and his steady breathing is so calming to zuko’s lizard brain, he’ll get impossibly closer and then put his face in the juncture between sokka’s neck and his shoulder where he can smell lungfuls of sokka and hide away, and just breathes. sokka will squeeze him tightly against his solid chest cause he knows zuko likes the pressure, maybe he’ll rock him a little and shush him when he feels zuko’s heartbeat isn’t calming down, until it inevitably does and zuko melts in his arms, his body thrumming with heat and his interior sun burning bright again. on bad days, if zuko could climb inside of sokka and live in his chest he would, but this is as close as he can get to him and it’s so intimate and soothing. sokka is the safest place zuko’s ever known. some other days zuko pulls sokka’s full body weight on top of him, making sure all parts of their bodies are touching and there’s no space between them. they stay silently connected like that however long zuko needs, sokka all over and around him, until his own body syncronizes with sokka’s rythms and breathing, until their hearts are pumping blood at the same pace, until zuko feels safe in his own body, and can brave the world again as a fearless and competent leader. sokka has learned by now that zuko doesn’t always know how to talk about it, but he’s very glad that he still comes to sokka for comfort and lets him in, because sokka always takes care of his baby.