#Wednesday would be plotting for that in the first hour Lmao

[usiel21]

Enid becomes President mysteriously.

Enid: And for the love of God don't let The First Lady near the nuclear football! Or so help me God none of you are getting a hug!

Secret Service: Yes Ma'am 1 hour later... Chief of Staff: Madame President all nuclear silos have been commandeered with each Warhead set to one set of co-ordinates! And we can't find the First Lady anywhere! Enid: But that... That's... THAT'S MY MOM'S HOUSE!

Enid: WEDNESDAY FRIDAY ADDAMS!!!

[ranunculussy]

enigma | part 07.

ꕥ part 01. | part 02. | part 03. | part 04. | part 05.| part 06. ꕥ pair: Spencer Reid × BAU!fem!reader ꕥ warnings/tags: canon-typical violence, kinda graphic description of the next crime, swearing, somewhat oblivious Reid and reader, age gap, moderately jealous Spencer, slow-burn, mutual pining, rivals to lovers, english isn't my first language so bear with me pls, if there are other warnings or tags i should add let me know ꕥ small author's note: hey guys, i'm back from the nine hells! i'm honestly really, really sorry that i disappeared for such a long time but i discovered that the ao3 writer's curse is, in fact, real as fuck. i've been sick for 2 months on and off, which resulted in me, ending up in the hospital and even spending my birthday there lmao. anyway, i think i lowkey reached the end of my recovery and i am back!! hope you'll enjoy this chapter and thank you so much if you're still here after so much waiting, i love you with all of my heart <3 ꕥ small author's note 2: i'll be describing a rather weird(?) crime this time that was inspired by a song (i'll attach it at the end of the chapter, i heavily recommend it - check it out on youtube too, it has a nice mv). i was very hesitant at first about whether i should write this or stick to the good old, bit more basic plots but then i was like fuck it, i have creative freedom for a reason and this series is already filled with weird crimes so why not ꕥ small author's note 3: i am also working on the sapphic knight!Emily × princess!reader, so you can expect that very soon ^-^ let me know if you're interested in it and would like to be notified when it's published ꕥ word count: ~2.6k ꕥ summary: Spencer can't quite figure you, his rival out and this annoys him more than it should [this fanfic is also available on AO3 with the same title and username]

wednesday

“We got a case. A bad one. Like really, really bad.” The word ‘anxious’ couldn’t even describe exactly how Garcia speedwalked through the bullpen in her neon pink high heels with her rhinestoned tablet in hand. The rest of the team—except for Hotch, were all gathered around Rossi’s desk since he was showing pictures of his grandson with a puppy that he got for his birthday.

“Dare I say Florida?” you murmured audibly enough for some of them to snort at your comment, which was only half a joke. With the amount of utter bullshit that went down there and resulted in the ‘Florida man’ news nothing was surprising anymore. Let’s just say, you accidentally hit the bull’s eye.

“Brace yourselves, my sweet, sweet crimefighters, because what I’m about to show you is very gory.”

You lowered your gaze to the bright screen of your tablet, where photos of the crime scene popped up. Well… Garcia was right. It was gory.

Not even half an hour ago divers found the second dead woman on one of the beaches in Florida. It looked like she got sewn into a seal’s skin and laid down there, making it look like it was a deceased animal, swept to the land by the stronger waves. Lucky for you, since this exact thing happened a few days ago, people were more cautious and thus, the scene remained in its original, uncompromised state.

“Sarah Moore is the second victim in three days. Today, the Florida Police Force has invited us in officially.” took over the word your unit chief, shifting everyone’s glance from the tablets —and printed out files in a particular doctor’s case—towards him.

“What, they didn’t find this” Derek pointed at the device still displaying the graphic photos of the scene in front of him, “freaky at the first time!?”

“There has been a rather public scandal involving the police in Florida, which resulted in replacing almost every person at command there. I think the new chief wanted to show that he can handle things by himself, since many eyes are on him and his work.” explained the man on your right, gesticulating with his big, slender hands. As your eyes unintentionally traced the line of his fingers, you wondered if he ever played the piano. He had the hands of an artist.

“Great. I wonder how much of an asshole he will be to us. I bet he’ll try to demonstrate his superiority.” your let out a groan at the thought of having to handle a grown man who acts like a demanding child, thinking that he is better and smarter than everyone else there. You had problems with people like him. Swallowing your pride when you knew that you were right was challenging for you.

“I wouldn’t exactly use this wording, but Y/N is right. Chief Miller will do everything to make himself look good in the eye of the public, even if it means undermining us. We will have to be exceptionally careful. Wheels up in 30.”

You sat at the window in one of the lounge seating areas of the jet. Next to you was Emily, Reid sat in front of you, Derek next to him. The laptop—making it possible for Penelope to join in the briefing that took place on the plane—was set up on the table between the four of you. Hotchner, JJ and Rossi gathered around your seats with tablets and case folders in hand.

All of you were reading the detailed police reports, that seemed more like a plot of some series than an actual crime committed by actual humans. None of you have met with things like this before.

Both victims got partially skinned ante-mortem, then sewn into a seal that was cut open from its jaw to its belly. The only skin remaining on Sarah and the other poor woman, named Ruby, were on those parts of their bodies that didn’t get covered by the animal. This meant the area of their stomach, chest and face. Even their scalps got removed.

“Garcia, do we know if the seals were real or a costume?” asked the doctor after looking up from the files.

“What am I, if not the queen of supplying you with all kinds of unsettling information? I already checked, however, and couldn’t find anything on this.”

“They didn’t check?” asked Emily in a dumbfounded tone.

“Well, if they did, there are no records about it anywhere.”

“Wanna bet that Chief Whatever-the-hell-his-name-is—” you started but got interrupted by Reid, chiming in, correcting you with a slight smile on his annoying face, as usual.

“Miller.”

“Yea, that. So, wanna bet that Chief Miller wanted to wrap this case up as quickly as possible by finding a fitting culprit and putting them away, whether they’re the real killer or not? Wouldn’t surprise me if he simply forgot to check this detail.”

The briefing went on for a long time. Ideas from everyone kept popping up the more you thought about the crime, its meaning, what it tells about the UnSub, the mode of display and basically everything regarding to the case. You even debated against each other if you found some holes in the other’s logic, but everything remained civil. Even between the doctor and you. Which was rare, but not impossible. It just so happened that none of your ideas went directly against the other’s so there was no use of wasting your time with bantering.

“We are landing in 15 minutes. JJ, Prentiss and I will set up at the station. Morgan, Rossi, go to the M.E., find out what you can about the victims, C.O.D., and ask for an exam on the seal. Reid, L/N, go to the latest crime scene. We have to find out if this is a ritual or some sort of radical activist statement.”

The warm weather and the smell and sound of the sea would’ve been calming in any other situation, just not when you were squatting next to a blood soaked, dead victim. It was impossible to tell whether the animal that looked like it’s consuming Sarah was real or not. Its size, texture and smell were very lifelike. You couldn’t see the insides, not until the M.E. cuts the poor woman out of the mammal.

“It’s obvious that the UnSub was careful with the sewing, it’s very precise. Can you see the thread from where you stand?” you looked back at the man who was standing a few steps behind you, taking in and analysing the bigger picture. He slightly furrowed his brows and narrowed his eyes, trying to spot even a tiny amount of straying yarn with little to no success. From where he stood, it looked like the human and animal were one and the same. Like they were meant to be this way. He shook his head as an answer, then walked right behind you and leaned down, so that your heads could be at the same level.

You felt the warm air leaving his nose as he breathed out near the small of your neck, causing goosebumps to run across your covered skin. Thank fucking God for the long sleeves, I’d look like a fool.

These past few weeks moments like this became a common occurrence. You were convinced he pulled these antics to make you flustered, to make you look like a fool, for his own amusement. You caught him staring, more often than not, but he never looked away, just slightly raised his eyebrows and challenged you to a silent staring contest. His comments or arguments became vague or had double meanings, trying to catch you off guard. He also became more physical, which baffled you the most. Dr Spencer ‘Germaphobe-and-Social-Distancing’ Reid, who he himself said that kissing would be more sanitary and safer than a handshake, was initiating physical contact with you. You didn’t understand this at all. Things were rough between the two of you ever since you started working at the BAU, so you were careful, so fucking careful not to touch him accidentally whenever you handed him anything, since you didn’t want to worsen anything. But now… Now he made a habit of standing closer to you than to anyone else, making his fingertips brush your skin whenever you gave each other something, and so on. These would’ve been small things with anyone else but not with him. You were silently fuming whenever he did something like this. You worked so hard trying to make him comfortable. Yes, you were arguing all the time, but that was strictly professional, you never crossed any personal lines. And now he seemed to take a 180°.

Of course, you saw this as a challenge. You weren’t kidding when you said, “Game on, doctor.” in that hotel room a few weeks ago, when you first noticed how strange he behaved. Did he want to make you less competent than him by making you look like some silly girl that blushes at every small thing a man does? Well yeah, you would never let that happen. Two can play this game, and you held yourself true to your word. You fought fire by fire, acting like he did. You’d never shy away from some teasing, especially when your honour was on the line.

You turned your head towards him. He was so close, your nose almost touched his left cheek. “What are your thoughts, doctor?”

He faced you, so his eyes could find yours. What he foolishly didn’t calculate is how awfully close you two would be. His breath hitched as his gaze flickered between your irises for a few seconds, taking in all the variations of colours that danced around your pupils, then he lowered his eyes to the tip of your nose that almost touched his, finally, he stopped at your lips, barely out of reach, before finding his way back to your eyes. All of this happened in split seconds, but you noticed it all. You would’ve been a hideous profiler if you didn’t. A victorious smirk formed on your face and your confidence was through the roof as the not so collected doctor’s cheeks took up a light shade of pink, barely visible to anyone else. You won this round.

The team got set up at the conference room of the modern police station. A few hours after landing, everyone gathered there. Dave and Derek arrived with crucial information regarding the first and second victim and the seals, while you shared details about the latest scene.

“According to the M.E., the cause of death was exsanguination in both cases.” said Morgan, who was fidgeting with a mustard-coloured pencil.

“Isn’t surprising in cases involving being skinned alive.” Emily’s monotone tone came as a response as she read through the tox screen. “They found a high dosage of ketamine in their system, meaning that they were possibly paralysed and awake during the skinning and sewing, making our UnSub a sadist.”

“Yes, most definitely.” agreed Reid, who was standing in front of the huge screen on the wall of the spacious room. On the screen, an anatomical drawing of the human body was displayed. “And the UnSub must have some degree of medical knowledge, because they avoided all the main arteries during skinning, making the victims suffer much longer.” during his explanation, the doctor pointed at all the pressure points of the body to show where the two women weren’t cut.

“The way of stitching further proves this; it was really precise.” you added with a slight nodding.

“So, are we looking at a doctor maybe? But then what do the scenes mean? This is one hell of an M.O., and way too specific to have no deeper meaning to it.” next to Emily, JJ was swiping between all the photos from both scenes, zooming in on the gory details, hoping she can find something, anything.

“Well, we still can’t rule out radical climate change or animal rights activists, especially since the Caribbean monk seals that were once native to this region gone extinct because of humans. They were overhunted and due to overfishing, the remaining starved to death.” Reid said this as if he was reading it out of a book.

While the others shared their ideas back and forth, your mind wandered to a different direction. Ever since morning, when you first got introduced to this case, you couldn’t shake a thought and after seeing the scenes and becoming more familiar with the details, it just got solidified, but it was a bit too out of reach. That’s why you excused yourself and quickly left the conference room. You didn’t stop until the parking lot, which was empty, to your relief. You quickly dialled the only person who was able to help you out with your dilemma, the one and only Penelope Garcia.

Your conversation was quick, but you got everything you needed and were ready to head back to the team, now confident in your theory, however, as soon as you turned on your heels, you slammed into something rather… familiar. Reid.

“Ah, for fucks sake.” you murmured as you stumbled backwards. “Do you crave physical contact this much, dear doctor? Next time just ask.”

“Why, would you comply?” he raised an eyebrow, his lips formed a somewhat cocky smile, but it was tamed enough to get missed.

“Maybe. If you beg for it.”

“Oh, between the two of us, I’m more than certain that you’d be the one that begs.” he stated confidently, as if his awkward self never existed. “But feel free to try and prove me wrong.”

“I- khm…” no matter how much you fought against the red hotness crawling up on your neck towards your face and ears, you couldn’t shake feeling weird. “You’ll have to do a lot more work to make me want to prove anything to you.” your comeback, if one can call it that, came out weaker than it sounded in your head, so before things could’ve gotten even more embarrassing for you, you decided to change the topic, silently noting that you lost this battle. “Anyway, why did you come after me?”

“For one, to check on you. For two, the others are ordering lunch and wanted to know what you would like to eat.”

“As you can see, I’m perfectly well.” you nodded, trying to solidify your statement after your previous banter, partially for him, partially for yourself.

Before he could ask or say anything else, you decided to head back to the rest of the team, with Reid, sticking close to your back.

“Mmh, I can see. No erubescence at all.” he said in a playful tone as effortlessly caught up with you, thanks to his long legs. You ignored his comment as you pushed the glass doors in and shifted your attention towards the other five people.

“Is everything alright, pretty girl?”

“Yes, I just had to confirm something real quick before presenting my groundbreaking theory to you, guys. So,” you said as you sat down in front of the laptop that was connected to the huge screen, opened Google and typed in one single word to the search bar: selkie.

thank you again for reading my work, hope you're having an awesome day! i hope it isn't a problem that this fic is getting longer, i'm just taking slow burn seriously (only thing i can do lmao) taglist: @halfbloodwriter @starrystormwritings @kspencer34 @maisyyyyyy @theseerbetweenus @throwaway-things @pleasantwitchgarden divider from @cafekitsune gif from @reidgif

[wawamouse]

Hello, I would love to hear anything on "In the Course of Destiny" or "In The Blink of an Eye" but if you don't want to give commentary on those: ⭐star⭐ Any commentary on any of your fics would be pretty cool! If you don't want to do this anymore please ignore. Thank you

Heeeeheeee "In the Course of Destiny" (-_- God, why'd I give it such a long title)! I'm actually working on this wip again after getting a bunch of other fics out of the way, so yay! Hopefully there'll be a chapter update before a year has passed lmao. So close to finishing, yet so far! I've mentioned before I'm pretty sure, but I started this fic completely intending to just write a quick crack fic to palate cleanse coming off writing the "Something Deranged" series. UMMMMM… Yeah, first of all, aside from Miguel crawling through a dryer to escape into another world, it's not really crack at all LOL. (But I guess the dryer portal is very strange if you stop to think about it).

Also, as I've mentioned (whined) before in a wip wednesday post as well as in the author's notes, when I initially conceived of the idea of Miguel hopping to a parallel universe, I was just going to have him hop over, hang out with Carmy for a bit—literally just follow him around after he gets off work—have a yaoi moment, and hop back (+some mild spoilers for ch.6). This seemed a bit too random to me, and because I love plot, I decided to add a robbery element to it last minute. Here is literally the moment I was deciding how to end ch.1, from a DM to a friend who hasn't seen the show lol:

I actually like that I went with the adventure plot, although it forced me to nix some stuff that I'd originally planned to write. In an earlier version, Alonzo works at the pawn shop with Carmy. Their relationship is interesting to me in this series; I think Chico and Torquemada don't think very much of each other in Miguel's original universe and hardly interact, but on the Other Side, Carmy and Alonzo are friends of sorts. I jokingly (to myself up to this point I am sharing it with you all) refer to the Other Side as the Gayer Side also bc one of the things I headcanon (without really writing it that way) is that Carmy—compared to Chico—is more attracted to men (still bi tho). When Miguel shows up out of nowhere, Carmy really just humors him because he's hot.

“This is going to sound crazy,” he says, “But I know you, Chico.” There’s a beat, and then Chico licks his lips, briefly glancing past Miguel like he’s checking for anyone else before he crosses his arms and shifts his weight back on one foot—This shit oughta be good. “Oh, you do?” he says, playful. “‘Cause as far as I’m concerned, you were hiding in the merchandise for the last two hours, and I’ve never seen you in my life. But you know me, huh, chico?”

^ Carmy at this point thought he was being hit on by a hot weirdo.

Also (I don't mention it outright but) the Consuela in this fic is a lesbian, hence Carmy being like "??? She's my what??"

Other tidbits... I talk about it here but I had to physically storyboard the scene where Miguel meets Alonzo because I am so bad at imagining spaces and I was really struggling with keeping that moment in his POV, description wise.

Mentioned this elsewhere as well, but originally, I was going to have Carmy either just go by Carmen on the Other Side or go by Melo (from Carmelo). But that felt somewhat too removed, plus then there'd be two M names to deal with.

Oh, one of the very specific-to-this-fic writing choices I made was to include Miguel's thoughts in parentheticals throughout his chapters. I did this to represent moments he's more lost in his own anguish—maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't, but there's a lot less of those parenthetical interruptions near the end of his day on the Other Side, and at the beginning of chapter 4, when he's completely at ease. To that end, ch.5, which will be from Carmy's POV, will have no parentheticals. Another thing that I wanted to do throughout Miguel's POV was still flash back to the primary universe, having the stuff that happened there still affect him and torment him lol. I actually really enjoyed writing the angst of all the flashback scenes (writing the Other Side is actually really hard lol).

I think this fic's Miguel is the most tortured post-canon version I've ever written? Mostly because he's so lonely at that point. He's misses Chico a lot and feels more vulnerable to Torquemada while also being incredibly disgusted with himself for exchanging sexual favors for D-tabs (in other fics, I kind of hand wave it and think Torquemada doesn't actually want to get involved / his whole thing is keeping a distance, but in this fic, that's not the case). This fic is also, I think, the most negatively I've written Torquemada? At least from Miguel's POV. He straight up hates him and is creeped out by him, which creates to him the greater contrast of Alonzo, on the Other Side, who is just kind of offbeat but overall friendlier and doesn't cross boundaries.

It's basically thinking about Chico that pulls Miguel into the Other Side, and thinking about Chico that takes him back (not to be gross LOL but I made sure to make the rules of that magic such that the portal opens and takes Miguel if he is in contact with Chico fluids while thinking about escape) (yup, that's the logic) (the blood stain in the concrete counts). He experiences roughly 12 hours on the Other side while several days have passed in the main universe.

Hm, I think Destiny's gotten so big at this point that I don't really know where else to commentate. I'll probably post some more deleted scenes or other tidbits in the future when I've finished it!

But that's a bit of the inside scoop for now!

[ladysomething]

I love everything that you’ve written for F1 so far (you are just the most incredible writer, I could read all of the fics you’ve written a million times and never get bored) but you’ve truly outdone yourself with Where You Go, I Go!!!! I literally read chapter 2 like 4 times last week and I’ve just been counting down the days until I could read chapter 3 (but I pinky promise I do not mean that in a “write faster” kind of way, I mean it in a “I was excited that I audibly squealed when I saw you posted today” kind of way). And ABO is something that I hardly ever read. But you just do it SO well. I LOVE the world you’ve built. And this fic is just SO incredible. I wasn’t sure how you could top the first two chapters, but eek CHAPTER THREE. The way that Charles going into pre-heat prevented any questions about Max and his intentions from getting answered (the tension is buildingggg) and Pierre showing up and Charles getting claimed, oh my god every scene was incredible and I am SO EXCITED to find out where this is going, because I genuinely don’t know what to expect!!! Thank you so, so much for sharing this fic with us!!!

I am a different anon than before, but I was very interested in reading your response about if you found writing long fic to be daunting. Like prev anon, I am a numbers girl, so learning a little about your writing process/philosophy was super interesting!! I have another question if you don’t mind me asking- how do you decide on your posting schedule?! Although I would literally read this whole fic in one sitting, I do love the 1+ weeks between updates because I love getting excited for a new chapter and looking forward to it, but you said in the ask that you were already writing ch6, so I’m curious what made you pick the schedule you did!!

thanks again for sharing this fic with us, we are truly all so lucky to read it!!

ahhh!!!

well firstly I can't take the entire credit for this fic. @saiyanwitcher reached out to me after I wrote Give Me That Fire and offered to beta for me. As we were getting to know each other, she asked if I'd ever consider writing an Omegaverse fic, and I said yes, and here we are. But if there is any reason why this fic is better than the others, it's all because of her! She has spent so many hours brainstorming with me, proofreading, and pulling me back from the edge when I said "I want to do THIS" and she said "girl what" (she didn't really, everything I propose she says "alright, lets figure out how we can make that work").

I'm so delighted to hear you loved chapter 3! this whole fic is sooo different to anything I've ever written, but I LOVE exploring new themes and topics and ideas in fic - you'll never really catch me doing the same thing twice. pushing boundaries is what I love about fic, but it doesn't always pay off, so I'm SO happy to hear that people are loving this fic as much as they are.

as for your question ... which, firstly, like most artists I am extremely self involved, so talking about myself is like my fave thing to do lmao. I will answer literally ANY question you could ask.

but, posting schedule. after many years of trial and error while posting long fics, the thing I've found that works for me is that I need to have a fairly sizeable amount of the story in the can before I start posting. I usually like 5-6 chapters, but, more importantly, I want to know that I have the feel of the story before I start to post, because once I post I can't go back and change things. at about that 5-6 chapter mark, I know that I'm deep enough into a story that the plot is right, the characters are right, and the tone I'm using is right, and then I feel comfortable starting to release it out into the world.

from there, I post a chapter only when I finish a chapter. so I finished chap 6 on Tuesday, and then I worked on chap 3 on Wednesday, gave it to @saiyanwitcher to beta on Wednesday evening, and then by this morning she'd done a final check and I was okay to post.

my own personal goal is to write one chapter a week, with Wednesday being the day I'm always aiming towards. so this week I was actually a little later than my "schedule" because ch 6 was giving me a headache and it took longer to write than I wanted.

at this point, I know roughly how long it takes me to write one chapter for this story (a week), but I also know some of these chapters are harder to write than others so I HAVE to give myself some extra leeway (hence the maximum of 2 weeks).

I hope that kind of explained my thought process and as I said, I'm so happy to answer any questions!

[campingwiththecharmings]

Night Moves

AN: There's so little plot here it's astounding lmao. Based on a prompt from this list.

(Un-beta'd)

You’re going to kill your neighbor. It’s 3 a.m. 3 a.m. on a Wednesday and this ass hole is blasting fucking Metallica.

Rated: M+ (this is smut so, i mean, you’ve been warned?)

Words: 5,030

Pairing: Santiago "Pope" Garcia x F!Reader

Warnings: pwp, cursing, kissing, alcohol consumption, p in v, oral sex (brief), fingering (brief), frottage, strangers to lovers/neighbors to lovers

AO3

——————

You’re going to kill your neighbor.

It’s 3 a.m. 3 a.m. on a Wednesday and this ass hole is blasting fucking Metallica.

You can hear every lyric through the thin walls of your apartment, every drumbeat, every guitar riff—everything. It’s so loud, it’s almost as if the band is actually there playing live in your living room.

You’d tried just ignoring it at first, hoping they’d get their rage or whatever out and would turn it off. After an hour, you’d tried banging on the wall, but they were either ignoring you or couldn’t hear over the din in their living room. It’s going on hour two now and you’ve had enough.

With a growl, you roll out of your bed, muttering angrily under your breath as you pad barefoot across the hardwood floors of your living room to your front door. After unlocking it, you wrench it open, slamming it shut behind you as you step out into the hall. 

You stop short when you reach your neighbor’s door, trying to hold back your rage and go into this confrontation with at least a semi-level head. This’ll be your first time meeting them after all, and if you’re going to continue sharing a wall, it might be the best idea to not come out swinging right off the bat.

So you take a deep breath, willing your frayed nerves to calm as you lift your hand and knock on the door.

No response.

Your lips twist in annoyance. There is a possibility that they hadn’t heard the knock, just as they couldn’t hear you banging on the wall earlier, so you give them the benefit of the doubt. With a sigh, you lift your hand again, this time knocking with the side of your fist. The sound is louder this time, the bangs echoing down the hallway.

Nothing.

“That’s it,” you mutter, balling both of your hands into fists and bringing them down on the door, alternating your knocks so they’re constant. 

It’s loud. So loud you’re likely to wake every neighbor on your floor, not just get the attention of this one, but you don’t care. You’re pissed and this jackass needs to know it. You continue banging, your hands starting to get sore from the constant contact with the hard surface of the door, when suddenly (blessedly) the music stops.

Your fists bang on the door one more time as the music cuts, your body tensing a little as you drop your arms back to your side, bracing yourself for the inevitable confrontation. Just as you’re wondering if this ass hole is even going to have the balls to face you, the door opens and—

Oh. Oh no.

There in front of you stands what has to be the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen in your life. He’s a literal work of art, standing there framed in the doorway looking like one of those marble sculptures you’ve seen in museums come to life. His brown eyes are warm, but also a little guarded as they meet yours, one thick eyebrow raising in question.

It’s then that you remember to speak, blinking rapidly as if it’ll clear the heavenly image of him that’s likely been forever burned onto your retinas.

“Hi,” you offer finally, your throat suddenly dry.

The corner of his (perfect) mouth twitches a little as he slides his gaze down the length of you. Your skin heats and you’re not sure if it’s him or the embarrassment you’re feeling. 

“Hi,” he rasps, eyes meeting yours again as he allows a smile to fully spread across his lips.

You’re staring again and you know he notices, amusement shining in his eyes. 

“Something I can help you with?” he prompts, eyebrows raised as he leans his shoulder against the doorframe. 

The question snaps your attention back to him and you mentally give yourself a shake. “I’m your neighbor.”

“Oh,” he responds, holding his hand out to you as he continues to gaze at you with amusement. “Nice to meet you, neighbor.”

Your eyes drop to his outstretched hand, gazing at it dumbly for a moment before you take it in yours to give it a shake. A jolt zips through you at the contact, heat flaring in your belly as you will your brain to imagine anything other than having his hands somewhere else on your body.

Jeez. You really need to get a hold of yourself.

“Right, so,” you begin weakly, your hand still loosely clasped in his. “It’s 3 a.m. and, uh, your music. It’s loud.”

 His amusement fades instantly at your words and something inside you regrets ever uttering them. 

“Oh shit,” he says, reflexively pulling his hand back and glancing at his watch, “I was unpacking and didn’t even realize the time. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you say automatically, even though it really isn’t.  

He shakes his head, putting his hands up placatingly. “No, it isn’t. It won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Thanks,” you nod, crossing your arms over your chest as you shift a little awkwardly on your feet. “Well, uh, I’m gonna go then. Nice to meet you—”

“Santiago,” he offers, smile returning to his lips as he holds your gaze.

You give him your name as well, returning his smile with your own as you begin to drift back in the direction of your apartment.

 “‘Night,” you mumble, sending him an awkward wave as you open your door and step back inside your apartment.

A soft ‘goodnight’ wafts down the hall in response, reaching your ears just before you close the door and you smile.

—

The next night, you can’t sleep. Why can’t you sleep? You should be exhausted after the day you’ve had, especially after only getting a few hours the night before thanks to your neighbor.

Your gorgeous neighbor. 

Santiago, you remind yourself, chewing your lip as your brain immediately conjures up an image of him in that black t-shirt which was just a little too tight, his biceps bulging slightly as he’d crossed his arms over his broad chest. Your breath quickens as your imagination runs rampant with a seemingly endless stream of tantalizing images; Santiago in your living room, in your bedroom, in your bed, his tan skin slick with sweat, chest heaving, his hips snapping against yours as you moan into his neck—

A whine escapes into the darkness of your room and you freeze, eyes wide. You know no one else is there, that he’s not there, but you still can’t help but feel embarrassed. You don’t even know this guy, and here you are fantasizing about him fucking you into oblivion.

“Shit,” you mutter, shaking your head in an effort to clear it. 

You swallow thickly, clenching your fingers in your sheets, fingers that itch to slip beneath the waistband of your underwear, to circle your clit, to plunge into your tight, wet channel—

“Fuck,” you groan, jolting up out of the bed. 

You walk quickly to your kitchen, grabbing a cup from the cabinet and filling it with water. You chug it, chest heaving as you fill it up again, this time forcing yourself to take sips. As you drink, you lean against the counter, eyes closing as your breathing slows.

When you feel your calm return, you set your cup by the sink and return to your room. You sigh as you slip between the sheets, pulling them up to your chin as you snuggle down into your pillow. Your mind is blessedly quiet as you close your eyes, the heaviness in your limbs now more pronounced than it was a moment ago. Just as you’re about to drift off, he’s there again, this time pressing you against your kitchen counter as he licks into your mouth, his hands on your hips—

“Fuck it,” you grumble tiredly, eyes still closed as you shift, slipping your hand inside your panties. 

—

It’s Friday. TGIF, or whatever. 

You’re just glad you don’t have to work this weekend; maybe you can catch up on the sleep you’ve missed out on the last two nights. Just as you’re contemplating making it an early night, you hear a knock at your door.

Confused, you shuffle over, lifting the cover over the peephole to look through it.

It’s him. 

In your surprise, the cover slips from between your fingers and clatters against the door. You cringe, knowing that you now have no choice but to open the door. You look down at yourself, grumbling when you remember you’re wearing what has to be the most unsexy collection of clothing ever.

“You okay in there?” a muffled voice asks through the door. 

Sighing, you hurriedly fasten a few of the buttons on your flannel overshirt, attempting to cover the worn tank top and shorts beneath. It’ll have to do.

You shake yourself in an effort to loosen up a little, and quickly unlock the door.

“Santiago, hi,” you say, perhaps a little too cheerfully, as you pull it open.

His smile makes your insides melt, dark eyes boring into yours. You lean against your doorframe, returning his smile as nonchalantly as you can manage.

“This isn’t a bad time, is it?” he asks, gaze flicking briefly behind you, as if looking to see if someone else is there.

You shrug, shaking your head. “No, not at all. What’s up?”

His eyes snap back to yours and he holds up a bottle of whiskey you hadn’t noticed was in his hand. “It’s a ‘welcome to the building’ gift from a guy down the hall. Wanna help me drink it?”

You hesitate, not wanting to embarrass yourself any more than you already have.

“If nothing else, I figured it might kind of help make up for keeping you up the other night,” he adds, his smile sincere.

Panic slices through you at his words before you realize he means the loud music and not…your thoughts about him. Obviously, ugh.

“Sounds great,” you squeak, stepping aside to let him in. “Sorry about the mess.”

He waves you off, stepping over the threshold and waiting as you close and lock the door behind him. When you turn, you find that he’s closer than you anticipated, so close you can smell him, feel the heat of him even through the flannel.

God, you are so fucked.

“Kitchen,” you say, wondering when your voice got so fucking breathy. “That’s—the glasses are in the kitchen.”

His gaze locks with yours, a heat simmering in his eyes as he smiles. “Lead the way.”

You turn away, swallowing thickly as you try to regain your bearings. You guide him in the direction of the kitchen, mentally giving yourself a pep talk with every step.

“You can have a seat if you want,” you offer, gesturing toward your kitchen table.

He shakes his head though, opting to lean against the counter instead. “I’m good, been sitting all day.”

You hum, pulling open the cabinet and grabbing a couple of glasses. “Desk jockey?”

His sniffed laugh makes you smile as you close the cabinet door and turn to face him again.

“More or less,” he says vaguely, a gentle smile on his lips. “How about you?”

You tell him what you do for a living as you make your way back over to him with the glasses. He nods, watching as you pull the bottle to you across the countertop.

“May I?” 

“Have at it,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. 

The action causes his lean muscles to strain against the material of his shirt. Your gaze lingers there for longer than it should as you absently work to pull the cork from the bottle. Eventually, it comes out, a satisfying pop echoing through the room. You pour a little in each glass, the amber liquid swirling a little before settling at the bottom.

“Ice?” you ask, holding one of the glasses up.

You hold the glass out to him when he shakes his head, his fingers grazing yours as he takes it. 

“Salud,” he says, his eyes locked with yours as he tips back the glass.

You raise your own glass in agreement, bringing it to your lips and taking a sip. It’s warm and rich as it slides down your throat. You hum at the sensation, closing your eyes briefly in contentment, the oaky flavor making your taste buds sing. 

“Good?” he rasps, his breath puffing against your cheek. 

You open your eyes, lashes fluttering; goddamn it, why was he so pretty?

“Mhmm,” you respond, not confident your mouth would be capable of forming words right now. 

He steps in closer, reaching past you and pulling the bottle toward him, his arm brushing against your side.

“Want more?” he asks softly, eyes locked with yours as he holds up the bottle.

You can tell by the look in his eyes that he’s not just talking about the whiskey and it sends a shiver down your spine. You nod, sliding your glass toward him. He looks away to fill it and you force yourself to take a breath.

“Thanks,” you say as he offers the glass back to you 

He nods, leaning his hip against the side of the counter. “So, how long have you been in this building?”

Grateful for a benign topic to ease some of the tension, you smile. “About two years.”

“You like it?”

You shrug, swirling the liquid around your glass. “It’s a place to live.”

He chuckles and the sound makes something warm unfurl in your chest.

“How are you liking it so far?” you ask, stealing another sip of your drink.

“It’s a place to live,” he responds, raising a teasing brow at you.

 You roll your eyes. “Come on.”

He smiles, shrugging as he drains the rest of his drink. “It’s alright. Most people seem decent so far.”

You sniff, taking another swig from your glass. “Don’t let them fool you.”

Santiago sets his glass down, his arm braced against the counter as he leans toward you. “So who should I steer clear of then?”

“Well,” You sigh, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth in contemplation. “Mrs. Sacks in 5B for one, she’s a gossipy bitch; Jay in 2C for another—”

His eyes flick up to yours from where they’re staring at your mouth. “2C? Really? He’s the one who gave me the whiskey.”

 “Yeah well, he’s an ass hole,” you grunt, throwing your head back a bit as you drain your glass.

After studying you quietly for a moment he asks, “Ex?”  

“Please,” you scoff, setting your glass on the counter. “Want another?”

He nods, eyes roving your face as you pour more liquid into his waiting glass.

“And what about you?” he asks as you raise your refilled glass to your lips.

Brow furrowed, you ask, “What about me?” 

“If I asked Mrs. Sacks about you, what would she say?”

You chuckle, twisting your lips in thought. “Honestly? Probably that I’m too loud.”

His eyes darken a little, a shiver running up your spine. “Yeah? And how would she know?”

“Well, we do share a wall,” you say, swallowing thickly.

Santiago leans in closer, his voice low when he asks, “Which one?”

He knows the answer, he must since you only have two neighbors with whom you share a wall, one of which is him. Nevertheless, you respond.

“That one,” you whisper, pointing toward your bedroom.

His eyes briefly flick in the direction you’re pointing before returning to yours, humming contemplatively. 

“Wanna give her something to talk about?” he asks, leaning in close, his breath mixing with yours.

You nod, breath catching as he cages you against the counter between his arms, his body pressing against the length of you. He holds your gaze for a moment, giving you a chance to push him away, breath fanning across your cheek as he hovers. Then he leans in slowly, his nose nudging yours before he tilts his head just enough to meet your lips. They’re warm as they press against yours, stealing the air from your lungs with every soft caress. He licks into your mouth with a hum, one of his hands coming up to cradle your face. He tastes like the whiskey you were just drinking, and something else, something richer, something him. You want more, can’t get enough as you push your tongue between his lips. He groans into your mouth as you taste him, your fingers clutching at the fabric of his t-shirt, holding his body against yours.

When air becomes a necessity, he breaks, trailing his lips down over your chin to mouth at your neck. His hand follows, ghosting over your chest down to the buttons of the overshirt you’d hastily fastened before you’d let him inside. He nips at your collar bone, tongue laving at the base of your neck as he undoes them, his hand slipping inside to settle on your waist. You breathe his name as he sucks a mark into your skin, fingers winding themselves into his hair. You tug at the graying strands, his groan vibrating against your chest before you pull him back up, reattaching your mouth to his.

The kiss is messy and frantic this time, your lips catching on any patch of skin they can reach. You suck on his tongue when he slips it into your mouth again and he groans, his hands reaching up to push the flannel overshirt from your shoulders. His fingers drag lightly over every inch of skin revealed to him, raising goosebumps all over your body. Your hands are everywhere; moving up his arms to his neck, down his back, clutching his plump ass through his jeans—

When your hands snake beneath his shirt, he growls against your lips, lifting you up to sit on the edge of the counter. He fits his body between your legs, hands skating up the outside of your thighs and slipping his fingers beneath the hem of your shorts. You gasp, scooting closer to the edge, to him, encouraging his touch. He groans as you pull him flush against you, wrapping your legs around his torso as you continue to attack each other’s mouths. 

You feel hot, like you’re burning up from the inside, like you’re going to explode into a ball of fire any minute now. His fingers tease you, dragging along the seams of your panties, tickling the sensitive skin there, but never slipping underneath. You grind yourself against his abdomen, desperate for relief, and moan into his mouth when he presses his thumb to your clit through your shorts, the fabric of your panties creating a delicious friction. He kisses down your neck again, worrying a mark at the base of your jaw before soothing it with his warm, wet tongue. Your fingers slip back into his hair, holding his face against you as you continue to absently grind against him.

“Bedroom?” he breathes, bringing his mouth back to yours.

“Please,” you plead, locking your feet together at his lower back as he lifts you from the counter.

He grunts as he walks, mumbling something about his knees. You’re not sure if he trips, or if his knees are really just that bad, but the next thing you know, you’re on the couch, your legs on either side of his torso. His hands are on your hips, encouraging you to grind down onto his lap. You can feel how hard he is through his jeans and it makes you shiver with anticipation. The friction is delicious, better than anything you’ve ever felt. You’re not sure if it’s just been a while or if Santiago is just that good, but at the moment, you don’t really care. You feel his hands slip beneath your tank top as you shift, surprising yourself with a moan as the zipper of his pants catches against your clit perfectly.

“That’s it, baby,” he mumbles, pushing your shirt up and pulling it over your head as you continue to undulate in his lap. “Take what you need.”

He leans forward, mouthing at the swell of your breasts, groaning against your chest as you chase your release. You’re so close, can feel the heat pooling in your belly, the fire spreading beneath your skin. When he pulls the cups of your bra down and takes your nipple in his warm, wet mouth, you come with a gasp, hips stuttering against him as you try in vain to prolong the euphoria. Santiago groans as you continue to grind against him, your nipple still between his lips. You cup the back of his head, encouraging him to keep going as you slow your pace, breath shaky as you come down from your high.

“Fuck, you are incredible,” he praises before languidly swirling his tongue around your neglected nipple.

You moan, heat flaring across your skin at his words; you’re already drunk on him and he hasn’t even fucked you yet.

“Look gorgeous when you come,” he continues, his hands cupping your breasts, thumbs teasing their peaks. “Can’t wait to feel you come around my cock.”

You whimper at his words, leaning over to capture his lips again in a slow, sensual kiss. 

“You can’t wait either can you, hermosa,” he pants against your lips, unable to keep quiet, it seems, even when you’re kissing him. “Bet you’d let me fuck you right here on this couch, wouldn’t you?”

A moan escapes you at the mental image your brain conjures at his words and he smirks. “Another time, I promise.”

You silence him with your tongue, slipping it into his mouth again with a hum. He groans, his fingers fumbling behind you to unclasp your bra. Once you’re free, he tosses it away, hands roaming unimpeded across the expanse of your back, fingers soothing the indentations left behind by the garment.

He takes you in his arms again, standing to his feet, your legs wrapped around his hips. You make it to the bedroom this time, and he lays you out beneath him, pressing you into the bed as he covers your neck and chest with licks and kisses. You whine when he begins to pull away, your arms wrapping around his neck to keep him on top of you. He chuckles, gently unwinding your arms before leaning in to press a soft, reassuring kiss against your lips.

He crawls back down your body and off the bed, and it’s then that you realize he’s still completely clothed. He pulls his shirt off first, revealing his toned chest to your gaze, then toes off his shoes and unbuckles his belt. You chew your lip as you watch him, eyes devouring every inch that’s revealed to you. He shucks his pants next, letting them drop to the floor unceremoniously and stepping out of them. His boxers are last, but he drags it out, a teasing smile on his lips. Your mouth waters at the sight of him, and suddenly you want nothing more than to take him between your lips and make him come down your throat.

Another time, perhaps.

He crawls back onto the bed, stopping at your torso to place a kiss against your belly. His fingers find the waistbands of your shorts and panties, and you lift your hips as he pulls them down your legs. After tossing the rest of your clothes onto the floor, he pushes open your thighs, settling himself between them. You bite your lip as he drags the pads of his fingers through your soaked slit, gazing at you with a knowing smirk as he circles your clit. You moan when he dips them inside, stretching you, massaging your inner walls. He can’t seem to help it when he leans forward, lightly licking at you with the tip of his tongue. He hums at the taste of you, licking his lips as he pulls away, his fingers soaked from your cunt. 

He moves back up your body, his wet fingers settling on your hip as he claims your mouth once more. You moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue, grabbing at him, trying to bring him closer somehow. His cock slips between the lips of your sex and he grinds it against your clit, dragging another moan from you. He keeps kissing you, smiling against your mouth as he continues driving you up the wall with pleasure. But it’s not enough for you to come, and by the time he’s telling you to get on your stomach for him, you’re more than eager to comply.

“You ready for me, querida?” he rasps, breath fanning against your ear as he presses himself against your back.

“Yes,” you moan, pushing your hips up off of the bed, the tip of his cock bumping against your center.

He hums, pulling back a little to situate himself, and when he enters you, he does it slowly, hissing as you engulf him in your tight heat. You press your face into the bedspread, moaning as he pushes his thick cock into you, stretching you, your fingers clenching into fists at the delicious burn; you’re so full, and every inch of him feels exquisite. 

He grips your hips, calloused fingers digging into your skin as he pulls back, dragging his length slowly against your sensitive walls. He groans when you flutter around him, your body still acclimating to his girth. You whimper when he snaps his hips back into yours, the tip of his cock just hitting your cervix. He pulls back again, almost all the way out, before slamming into you again, this time adjusting the angle slightly. He does it again, and again, each time hitting a different spot inside you, as if searching for something specific, something special. 

When he finds it, you gasp, your back bowing as his cock hits a spot inside you that makes you see stars. You clench around him and he groans, hands gripping your hips like a vice.

“You feel so good,” he groans again, his hips snapping hard against yours. “So good.”

You can’t do much more than moan in agreement, the pleasure coursing through you almost overwhelming. He hunches over you, chest pressed against your back as he speeds up his thrusts, his cock still brushing that special spot. 

“You gonna come for me, baby?” he rasps, his breath hot against your ear. 

You moan again, your walls fluttering around him as his pace starts to falter.

“So tight, so warm, fuck,” he slurs, slamming into you harder, burying his face in the back of your neck. “Wanna feel you squeeze me.

Callused fingertips brush your clit a moment later and you gasp, a shiver wracking your body. 

“Santi,” you plead, grinding yourself against his fingers. “Please, I’m so close.”

“I’ve got you, hermosa,” he whispers, pinching your clit and dragging another moan from you. “Let go for me.”

At his words, you come with a choked moan, relief and pleasure rolling through your body in waves. 

“Oh, good girl,” Santiago groans, fucking you through your orgasm, his thrusts sloppy as he nears his own peak. “So fucking good.”

You shiver a little as your pleasure subsides, brain still buzzing when you feel him pull out of you, moaning as he spills himself on your lower back. His seed is warm and sticky on your skin and you hum, relishing the feel of it. He’s still panting behind you, trying to catch his breath as his fingers brush soothingly over your skin, smearing his cum. After a moment, he leans in, pressing a kiss between your shoulder blades, and your chest aches a little at the unexpected sweetness of it.

“You okay?” he asks, breath tickling your ear as he hooks his chin over your shoulder.

“Mhmm,” you hum, stretching a little, your body feeling pleasantly loose.

He mumbles something that sounds like ‘good’ before pressing another kiss into your neck. Then he pulls away, the bed shifting as he stands to his feet. You steal a glance over your shoulder, dread settling in your belly—Where was he going? He wasn’t leaving, was he? A moment later, he returns, washcloth in hand, and you relax, your panic draining away as he meets your gaze with a smile. 

An hour or so later, you’re both in the kitchen again, sitting side-by-side on the counter laughing, half-eaten takeout containers strewn around you. 

“So then he says, ‘no, it’s European,” Santi says, chuckling as you double-over with laughter.

“No way, he did not,” you laugh, hand covering your mouth.

Santiago nods, an amused smile on his lips as he swallows another mouthful of whiskey. “He did.”

“Shit,” you chuckle, leaning back on your hands as you shake your head. “What an ass hole.” 

He hums, eyeing you appreciatively as he sets his glass back on the counter. You’re naked beneath the overshirt currently slipping down your shoulder, only a few buttons and some flannel between you and his hands, his lips, his tongue, and he’s looking at you like you're the dessert table at a buffet. You chew your lip, heat already pooling again in your belly.

Guess once wasn’t enough.

“So…neighbor,” he begins, his eyes teasing as he drags his tongue over his bottom lip. “Have I done enough to earn your forgiveness for the other night?”

You bite back a smile, tapping your chin as you pretend to contemplate his question. “You know, I’m not sure.”

He raises a playful eyebrow before leaning in, pressing a soft kiss against your lips. “How about now?”

You humming, scrunching up your nose in thought. “Still inconclusive.” 

He grunts, capturing your lips again, this time in a deep, languid kiss. His hand skates up your bare thigh and you moan, tangling your fingers in his curls. He pulls back after a moment, raising his eyebrows at you expectantly.

“I guess, you’ll just have to keep trying,” you tease, biting back a smile when he growls, leaning back in to claim your mouth once more, the hand on your thigh finally slipping beneath the hem of your shirt.

If you enjoyed this, please let me know! I appreciate every single reblog and/or comment. Thank you. 💖

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[my-time-at-brainrot]

my sandrock ocs and their pairings  :)

also a wip doodle of sonia and fang lmao

(current patch spoilers under cut)

Sonia and Fang, main save and also the one I care the most about lmao

Completely opposite personalities: Sonia has pretty much limitless energy, can talk for hours off of one tangent, very extroverted, just really excited to be around people and likes getting to know all sorts of folks, while Fang is... not any of that.

Both are the type to get absorbed into their work, but Fang gets in his own head over whether or not he's done something wrong to make Sonia stay away, but in reality Sonia kinda just forgot that she existed for a week lol

Tangentially related to the above: Sonia is so incredibly clumsy in day to day life. She trips over her own feet, falls out of chairs, stumbles when she stands in the same spot for too long, walks into walls, stubs her toes, etc. Fang first saw this after Sonia fell off of the observation table at his clinic, and thought that she had some type of balancing issue, but in actuality she just doesn't pay attention when she feels comfortable.

Because of this Fang is understandably Very Anxious about Sonia being involved with the Civil Corps, even though she is very much capable of keeping herself alive in combat situations

Sonia is usually the one making date plans, which both parties are happy about, though Sonia would like Fang to be more open about his needs.

sonia, preparing for a dangerous event: "nah dude, dude, dude i'm fine, i have hella plot armor i'm aight dude trust me"  

fang, remembering their last date at the saloon where sonia dunked her hand into blazing hot coffee after being warned that it was in fact boiling hot not once, not twice, but five times by owen: "...no."

As far as Fang's canon romance storyline goes: Fang slowly comes out of his shell over the course of Sonia's time at Sandrock, and their friendship (and eventual romance) is a very slow burn (that I still have to outline but I'll get to it when I get to it)

Sonia could not cook at all before coming to Sandrock. She ate raw potatoes out of the ground, dirt and all, "that's where the REAL nutrients are!" she would say. It was really only after Arvio's comedic failure with the Spicy Bean Paste that she gave cooking a genuine try. 

Fang was not aware of this until Juno joked about it during their first wedding anniversary. Something about Sonia putting in the time to develop a completely new skill on the off chance it could make him happy... made him emotional for a bit.  

There's one particular line from "Words to Betray the Heart" that say something about the Builder being so perfect and how Fang would be a burden on someone like that etc etc etc, and uh. Man. Can't really articulate it rn but in short it's rather important of a trigger for Sonia, so there's absolutely self esteem issues in both parties that have to get ironed out if this relationship can be healthy

Sonia did do the medical trials, and it went something like:

sonia: hm.

fang: ...

sonia: hey.

fang: ...?

sonia: i'm gonna drink all three of these at once.

fang: ?!?! 

sonia: *devours all contents of the bottles faster than lightning and passes out immediately*

fang: ?????????????? 

^ repeated for a comical amount of time until Fang finally bans her from FREE MED WEDNESDAY/FRIDAYS (TM)

Juno and Logan, the secondary save and heavily dependent on main story updates AND romance update in june/may :))))) so this is going to be rewritten without a question when the proper romance quests come out

so how normal are we about logan :)

Surface level: Juno is a Civil Corps monster hunter, Logan’s Pa was a monster hunter (and Logan is too lol) so they bond over sharing knowledge of the desert’s beasties and train together in remote areas of the desert.

Very early on, Juno develops a keen sense of... secrecy around Logan and the real nature of his departure and relationship to Sandrock as a whole, and ends up confiding in Elsie about his suspicions, but not much is really going on until Water Tower Moment (Gone Wrong)

Juno is, in short, the truest definition of orphan you can get. There is no one that ever knew his family, nor his parents’ names, or if he had any siblings. His memory only really starts around the time that he met Sonia, and being in Sandrock is only distressing him further about his lack of memories

That’s part of the reason that Juno is so drawn to Logan. The plot just doesn’t make sense to him. 

Can someone really love their Pa so much that the grief destroys everything they once loved? Can Juno ever know that type of love? (and other hurty questions)

Logan is tied to Sandrock, and keeps his hometown so near and dear to his heart. Juno... doesn’t have anything like that. If he died tomorrow, only Sonia would notice and care. No one else would even bat an eye. 

During the Duvos invasion, Juno goes missing. Logan is concerned, but quickly realizes that his concern is based in something more than simple comradery, and makes the super duper mega healthy decision to suppress his feelings. 

oh what’s this? oh boy oh boy! work in progress ocs!

Lily and Mi-an, the planned save for full release and a Builder power couple (and admittedly Mi-an the one I know the least about romance wise, but builder power couple cute)

With Yan arrested and awaiting trial in Atara, Sandrock is down a Workshop and Builder, which is especially bad news for the more remote villages around Sandrock. Sonia writes to her old friend Lily (her godparents’ daughter) and invites her to fill the position on behalf of City Hall. Lily is ecstatic and jumps on the opportunity.

Lily and Mi-an immediately hit it off and spend hours talking about various builder nerd stuff.

Out of the relationships I’m writing, this one is definitely the most casually, normally paced. 

Romance wise, they present a Heart Knot to each other at the same time, so they are on the same wavelength most of the time.

Mi-an has bouts of self confidence issues, but Lily is rather quick to hype her up and comfort her if needed

Similarly, Lily sometimes needs scheduling help, so Mi-an is happy to help coordinate commissions for Ultimate Productivity (So We Have Time To Watch Old World Romance Movies)

Armaros (they/she) and Owen, Schrodinger’s save (as in I have renamed this oc like 7 times and will probably rename her another 5 times) as well as the bachelor that I am going to take the most creative liberties with edit 4/23: mhm, i did in fact change their name an eighth time lmaoooo

Rose is completely, totally mute. They never spoken a word and never will, as it is physiologically impossible for them to verbalize their thoughts. No amount of “encouragement” will change this and they are very exhausted arguing this. 

Rose visited Sonia (former coworkers) in Sandrock about a couple months or so into her contract, and stayed at the Blue Moon during her week long visit.

Owen and Rose’s initial meeting is, well, awkward to say the least. It took Owen a little bit to catch on to why the blond wasn’t saying anything in response to him and only pointing to menu items, and he was very apologetic once Rose passed a note to him explaining themself.

Owen wouldn’t exactly admit that it was immediate love, but he was captivated by their general vibe and wanted to get to know them better

Of course, Rose did go back home to Highwind, but the two stayed in contact via letters. Owen writes very kind, cordial letters, and Rose writes in an elegant, poetic style. Soon the content of their letters would turn more romantic and emotional.

Rose has the special, unparalleled ability to quickly get people comfortable with them. Owen and Rose have similar warm vibes, but accomplish this through different ways. Owen talks to you like you’ve known each other forever, and Rose is a gentle attentive listener that takes her time responding/giving advice to someone.

Rose is pretty Church of Light religious in comparison to other ocs, so they do utilize some scripture and similar sentiments in their letters to Owen.

Until there is more Owen content, there’s not much else canon I can play with, so I will probably rewrite portions, but the general idea is going to be the same.

Bonus: a Rose and Fang interaction

Rose: :)

fang: ...Have needs, query X.

Rose: :|

fang: ...

Rose, holding up her notepad: (I’m mute. Please be patient with me. -w-)

fang: ...oh. (internally: thank you, peach...)

[toournextadventure]

A lil bonus infor about the comic: the semi-transparent text in the second row (which is partially obscured by other panels) has a bit of Wednesday's internal monologue/response to thinking Bird is planning a murder. I can't remember exactly (i.e. word for word) what I wrote and it'd take, like, three minutes to check, but it's roughly as follows:

"She's going to get her fingerprints all over the crime scene. Does she even have the anger to take a life? I can't believe she didn't consult me first. And she's openly plotting out on the quad?" babygirl can't believe how many murder mistakes her gf is making lmao

It's hard to tell how many layers I actually used, considering each reference and section had their own layer, each of the crows has its own layer (even if it's just two drawings manipulated in different ways), and some panels were colored separately, but my program tagged the final layer as 70. I'd estimate there being maybe 25 active layers? If I merged them together in groups (all the panel lines in one layer, all the dialogue on another, etc) there would probably only be, like, 7.

I genuinely have no idea how long I actually spent on the comic, considering there was some multitasking, as well as a lot of it being done while I was Not Aware of the Passage of Time. I'd guess at least six hours of Working? but, like, mainly because this is not my usual format and I had to figure out how to do what I had in mind

PS I'm gonna be grinning like an idiot for a week, I am Loving this serotonin :D glad you like it!!! ❤️❤️❤️

-signed, your friendly neighborhood crow

Poor Wednesday, she's like "god she's so stupid, what an amateur, can't even plan a murder properly"

Bestie that is INSANE, you put so much hard work into it! God, that's absolutely amazing, you did so good! I still can't believe it, I've been looking at it all evening, you should be so proud! AND it's not your usual format? Stunning, beautiful, amazing, jaw droppingly gorgeous

Here, as a thank you, I drew a picture for you too. It's us holding hands inside a heart because I appreciate you and all the hard work you put into that lil comic :)

[minjeonpark]

A ramble about life🧘, work🧑‍💻, writing🖋️ and everything else.

Hello!👋 I feel like it's been ages since I opened Tumblr. I've been meaning to answer all of your comments, but several things happened this week that literally changed everything in my life.🙃

For starters, I got covid. Not fun at all, experienced headaches and body aches that turned me into a potato, and now I'm almost out and back to full health...I just need to endure a sore body for two more days. ✌️😭

Also.... I was fired....? *Insert yoongi's iconic confused face*😐😂

Lmao it came as a shock to me too --to everyone in my department since we all got fired. It stranded a lot of us because the news came as a work email at 9 am when everyone was home bound dealing with covid. No one expected it because we had just come back from a successful work trip to acquire a new client for the company. Now looking back, I should have paid more attention because just last month, half of the HR department was fired👀 and if you're a victim of capitalism and a slave of the work force you know HR is the last to go, like they're untouchable when the company is purging their payroll. HR, the last standing soldier, the one that sees you off...welp. 🤦

I wanted to leave an angry rant here the moment it happened, but I needed to keep moving and not let the fear of an uncertain future drown me. I know I'm still young and there are a lot of opportunities out there (I would like to think that way) but in a world where the timeline of how your life should play out is set and everyone around you is following it you can't help but feel like a failure when these things happen. Like, I don't want to get married and have a child in two years, you know. And I don't want to be frowned upon if I don't have a job that makes six figures by the time I get married. Cause everyone around me is doing that. I want to enjoy life at my own pace, and maybe getting fired from this important office job is a sign to follow the creative path I always wanted...I don't know. I have a job interview in two hours, so I guess this is me nervous rambling. 😬🥴

I was also considering putting my writing hobby on a Hiatus, but immediately backtracked because I don't want this hobby of mine to be tainted by the pressures of adult life. So I'm still going to write the shit out of my imagination because like many of you have said, it is an escape from reality. Chapter 22 is fully drafted, I actually added more scenes because when I first read the draft it felt like it lacked some important scenes, so that's where I'm at with the next update. I hope to give you teasers this Wednesday and post this weekend.

Let me end this rambling with something that I want to tell you all that my dad actually tells me every time I'm stuck. Whatever you chose to do, don't think of it as something you have to do for the rest of your life. It sounds hard, and it is hard to make the decision to change career paths, but sometimes you just need that push towards what will eventually make you happy. So here I am telling you that even if we don't know each other, just know that I will cheer you on. Whatever change you're too scared to make but that you know it will make you ten times happier than what you're doing right now, picture me telling you to go for it. My dad always says to not be scared of failure because out of everything you can learn in life, Failure is the biggest learning lesson you can get.

With that in mind, let me go apply for jobs that I'm under qualified for while I figure out what in the hell I'm gonna do next. 🤔

Also, I'm gonna start editing past chapters of Days Since I Met You with the lovely Sybil @sybilinthehollow. It's just grammar and stuff, nothing of the plot will be changed. So you don't have to worry about reading back. Everything for a better reading experience! 😏🤣🤭

Without further ado, I'll go study for my job interview, and I'll maybe see you tonight as I write Chapter 22? 🤞✌️

[watchmegetobsessed]

VALERIE - Part IX. (Harry Styles)

yall are gonna hate me for this but it needed to be done IM SORRY! also, i can’t believe valerie is ending this week, just one more part to go! can’twait to read your reactions and thoughts on this part, even though i know yall gonna be upset lmao

word count: 5.6k

SERIES MASTERPOST

masterlist

Some days it truly feels like the universe has plotted against you to make every possible thing go wrong. As if it wants to see just how much you can take before breaking, experiment how long it can dance on your nerves before you end up one of those crazy people who shout at random strangers on the bus for no actual reason.

Starting the day you overslept awfully leaving you only ten minutes before you had to leave. In your hurry you ended up putting on socks that do not match and you were forced to buy a sandwich on your way as breakfast, but you promised you wouldn’t buy packed sandwiches for a reason, this one tasted like it’s been sitting on the shelf for weeks. Maybe it really has been. 

You made it to work successfully, but then you realized that you’ve left your notebook at home, the one that had quite a lot of important information you need for your work, so you spent your first hour at work emailing different people for things you should now, explaining that you just left your notebook at home. Some didn’t really give a fuck and just answered you normally, but others didn’t shy away from commenting that you should be more responsible and careful.

This alone gave just the perfect foundation for the day. It was all downhill from then. Your boss loaded twice as much work on you than usually, everything with close deadlines, throwing even more anxiety into the mix as if you didn’t have enough already. 

You met up with Marcus at lunch, but that didn’t go as planned either. It’s been getting more and more frustrating with him, the two of you have already had at least five fights this week and it’s only wednesday. It seems like even the smallest things push you over the edge these days and you easily pick a fight over anything. It didn’t happen differently this time either and by the time you got back to the office you were fuming. Worst part is that you always have a hard time ending a fight and tend to continue it through texts, the same thing happened today as well.

Now it’s a few minutes past five and you’re getting ready to go home, get changed and head to family dinner since today is Valerie’s first birthday, but even on the bus you’re still furiously typing away on your phone, sending a reply to Marcus, wanting nothing more than to throw the device right ot the window.

At one point you decide you’ve had enough. Turning your phone off you sink it into the depth of your bag and just try to focus on breathing, because even the smallest things seem to be hard tasks in such an upsetting state of mind. 

These past few weeks things have taken an absurdly wrong turn between you and Marcus and you don’t know what to do about the whole situation. Every night you go to bed thinking that you should just let go of him, would do a favor for the both of you, but then that stupid little voice in the back of your mind tells you that if you break up with Marcus it’s game over for you, you’ll spend the rest of your life alone. It all ends up with you violently holding onto the pieces of what’s left from your relationship and you’ve been trying to figure out where it went wrong, but you have absolutely no idea. 

After you changed into a pair of light washed jeans, a bright orange sweater and your black leather jacket it’s time for you to leave, though you already know you’ll be late. With a sigh deep you decided to turn your phone back on when you were sitting in the Uber, immediately deleting the notifications about the messages Marcus left you and going straight for the few ones from Rosa, your mom and Harry. They all arrived not too long ago asking when you’d be arriving, so you quickly typed your sorry and told them you’re on your way, you just got caught up at work. For Harry, you add something else too:

“Save me a seat and order me a tequila.”

His response came quickly.

“Done. Both.”

You let out a chuckle seeing his message. He knows you too well.

Walking into the small restaurant you don’t have a hard time spotting your family, three tables have been pushed together to make enough room in the back, taking up the small, kind of separated area of the place. Rosa smiles widely when she spots you, Valerie standing on her thighs, hands on the table as she is trying to snatch one of the glasses away, but her dad is pushing it further from her grasp.

“Sorry for being late,” you huff out and take the seat right next to Harry who watches you with a smile. “Well hello there, birthday girl! You’re so big now!” you babble at Valerie who giggles at you before her attention is averted once again.

You feel Harry’s elbow poking your side and turning to him you see him nod at the two shots on the table.

“Oh, fantastic. You’re drinking too?”

“No, I’m driving. Both for you.”

“If I didn’t have such a shitty day I would question what kind of alcoholic you think I am, but I kinda need both,” you sigh, taking the first one and downing it faster than ever. From the corner of your eyes you see your mother’s disapproving look, but you decide to ignore it for now.

“Wanna talk about it?” Harry asks, eyebrows furrowed in worry, but you shake your head, the alcohol still burning your throat.

“Not now. Can you give me a lift home tho?”

“Sure,” he nods, turning back to the conversation at the table. 

You somehow succeed in putting everything that happened today behind and just focus on the time spent with your family. It helps that seemingly Harry works hard all evening to tell you about random things, just occupying your thoughts as much as he can. It’s nice to relax a little and forget everything that’s been weighing down on your shoulders recently. 

“It’s so crazy she is one already,” you sigh when you and Harry are walking to his car.

“Right? It makes me feel incredibly old,” Harry huffs as he fishes his car keys out of his pocket.

“How old are you even?” you ask laughing, realizing you don’t even know how old he exactly is. There are quite a few things, small details you’ve just never gotten around to find out about Harry.

“I’m turning 27 in February. Wild, isn’t it?” he chuckles.

“Yeah, you’re basically a grandpa,” you tease him and he narrows his eyes at you, but you can’t miss the little smile hiding in the corners of his mouth. 

“That makes you a grandma, because you’re turning 25 in April, don’t you?”

“You know when my birthday is?” It takes you by surprise, you don’t remember ever telling him when your birthday is.

The two of you reach his car and he clears his throat unlocking it. Seems like he doesn’t really want to answer, but your burning gaze on him kind of forces him into it.

“Uh, I do. I wanted to meet up with Steven last year the day you had your birthday party, but he said he had plans already. Tried to lure him into cancelling, but he didn’t even want to share where he was going. Then he admitted that it was your birthday party, but you told him and Rosa not to even mention it to me so I don’t show up.”

Your stomach drops hearing his version of a story you’ve only known from your own point of view. You remember that you indeed told them not to tell Harry about it, but now it seems like such a hate crime, when in real life, it was still when the two of you hated each other with passion. 

“I’m… Harry I’m sorry. That was--”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiles at you, starting the car. “We left it all behind, didn’t we?”

His smile seems genuine, but you still feel guilty for being such a bitch. It reminded you how much time and energy the two of you wasted for years hating each other when you could have been just like you are now. If only things happened in a different way…

Arriving at your building Harry parks the car and stops it. As the engine stops, the silence that’s been thickening the air just becomes even more obvious. He is waiting for you to say something about what’s gotten you so upset today, you know that, but you don’t feel like sitting around in his car.

“Want to come up for a little bit?” you ask and it’s a hidden message that you want to talk in the comfort of your own home. Luckily, Harry understands it right away and nodding he tells you to lead the way. 

You make some tea and the two of you sit on your couch, Harry is sitting sideways so he can see you while you bring your knees up to your chest, staring down at the mug in your hands.

“I had a fight with Marcus,” you quietly start.

“Oh.”

“And��� it wasn’t the first time. We’ve been constantly fighting lately and I’m just… so tired of it.”

Saying it out loud for the first time, having someone listen to you brings you an odd sense of relief, and it doesn’t feel weird that you’re talking to Harry about all of it. He has proven himself to be a great listener.

“We’ve been fighting constantly, over the smallest things and my… my patience is running short, at this point.”

You’re talking slowly, carefully putting your thoughts into words, trying your best to interpret them for Harry after boiling them only in your own head for so long.

“I just… I have no idea what I should do.”

“It seems like the relationship is not making you happy anymore,” Harry softly speaks up and you have nothing to bring up against what he just said. “So why are you trying to continue it?”

You were expecting the question, you just knew he would ask it, but it still brings a painful, stinging sensation into your chest as you try to find the words to answer him. 

“Because…” you breath out and slowly turning your head, your eyes meet his gaze. “If I can’t make it work with him… then… who is it gonna be? There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me, that he is literally my last choice, that if I mess this up it’s gonna be over for me.”

“Y/N, you know that’s not true,” Harry tells you tilting his head.

“Do I?” you chuckle bitterly, turning your gaze to the ceiling before you look back at him. “Because I don’t think I do. I’ve been literally feeling so miserable for weeks, yet I still can’t get me to move on, because I think I’m gonna die alone.”

“That’s not gonna happen, don’t say that. You’ll find the right person for you, you just… have to be patient.”

“But that’s the thing. I have lost my patience. I’m done, over it.” The tears form in your eyes in just a few seconds and the next thing you know is that you’re crying. “I’ve been trying so hard in my whole life, but somehow I always ended up… not being enough, or thrown away, stepped over, left behind. No matter what I did, I always ended up alone and I can’t help but notice a pattern in it. It has to be me, what else?”

“It’s not you, okay? You just had a few bad experiences.”

“Not a few,” you huff closing your eyes. “All of them are bad. I was… I was never enough for anyone and now that I found a guy that seemed to be just perfect… I’m ruining it.”

“I don’t think you’re ruining anything.”

“Then explain to me what’s happening, Harry!” you snap in despair and Harry stares back at you at a loss of words at first.

“Do you have feelings for him?” he then asks. You can’t answer right away and it tells him a lot.

“I… I’m not sure.”

“That sounded more like a no.”

“Okay, alright. No, I don’t. But… I could develop feelings eventually, couldn’t I?”

“That’s not how it works, Y/N. You can’t just torture yourself hoping that one day you wake up and you’ll be in love with him. It’s not gonna happen and you’re just wasting your time.”

“How do you know it’s not gonna happen? What makes you so sure of that I will not end up alone?”

Harry stays quiet, her green eyes are staring right into your soul and for a moment you forget about your misery. This man alone holds such a power over you, it’s starting to scare you.

“I know it, because… I know you. And I see you. You’re literally the funniest girl I know, so easy to talk with, you always know when to crack a joke and when you have to be serious. You have so much love for others, you care about your loved ones and you’re always there for your friends and family. You make it so easy for others to get comfortable around you and you make everyone feel safe around you.”

You listen to him intently, drinking up every word that leaves his lips. Harry looks down at his hands as he continues.

“And you’re beautiful. So fucking beautiful, it always baffles me when I see you.”

“What?” you breathe out.

“It’s the truth,” Harry chuckles lightly, he brushes his knuckles together nervously. “Every time you walk in, you just… make everyone turn their head at you, and I always wonder if you even notice that. The way you walk, your smile, your laugh, Y/N, you make every man go crazy about you.”

“You’re just saying that because you are trying to cheer me up,” you sniff, wiping a few more tears away from your eyes.

“I’m definitely not,” he chuckles and his eyes finally find yours. “I remember when we first met.”

“When you walked in on me changing,” you sigh, the memories living vividly in your mind.

“Yeah. I remember how… breathless I felt when I saw you standing there, your dress handing a little on your frame because of the zipper. I forgot my name for a moment. I offered to help with the zipper because I just… wanted to touch you in any kind of way. So I knew that you were real.”

“Harry…”

“I know this sounds made up, but I’m telling you, this is the truth. And I know I didn’t act like that for a long time, but I always thought that you were an amazing person and I know that any guy would be so lucky and incredibly happy to be with you. I hate the thought of you thinking otherwise of yourself, when you are literally such a delight and… just a gift to all of us. I don’t know what’s really been going on between you and Marcus, but if he can’t see your worth and can’t make you feel like you deserve… he is not worthy of your time.”

You feel your throat closing up, but you’re not sure Harry knows the reason behind it when the tears start rolling down your cheeks again. 

Because it might look like his words touched you and made you tear up, but in reality, a bittersweet feeling has taken completely over you. If this is how he thinks about you, why did he act like that when he had the chance to be with you? Why didn’t he want you to stay? What did you do that made him want to throw you out?

It’s a spiral straight down and you can’t stop yourself from falling. Harry has always been the biggest mystery of your life, and now you’re just even more sure it was something you did or said that made him want to run. 

He reaches out and easily scoops you into his arms and you let him hold you tight, face buried into his chest. You hold onto his shirt as the silent cries escape your lips. You want him to want you. You want him to mean all those things he just told you, but you just can’t seem to move on from the past even though you’ve agreed to forget about it. It keeps bugging you in the back of your mind that no matter what he says, you weren’t good enough to make him want to stay with you when he had the chance. 

***

It doesn’t get better after that night. Harry stayed until after midnight, made sure you got into bed and told you he’ll check in on you the next day. And so he did. 

You felt guilty for loading all of it on Harry, so you decided it was the last time you ever talked about Marcus or your love life in general with him. You easily made yourself believe that he didn’t really care about it and he just listened to you because he was trying to be nice. It seemed the best to just try and forget about it all. 

For a while you were contemplating breaking up with Marcus, but you didn’t have the strength to do it, telling yourself you have to give it another chance and some more patience. However it’s ending up to be quite draining, you gotta admit, but you are starting to get used to feeling numb every day.

Rosa invites you over, because she went through her closet and found some stuff she thought you’d like, so you head over not long after you get home from work. She mentioned that Harry would be over watching some kind of football game with Steven, so you are not surprised to see his car parking on their driveway.

“Hi guys!” you greet them when Rosa lets you in, the game is already on so they just wave in your way, intently watching the TV.

“Come on, I have everything in the bedroom,” Rosa nods in your way and you follow her upstairs. Valerie greets you with a loud shriek as you walk in, she is sitting in her crib, surrounded with a bunch of toys, seemingly having a great time.

“Hi there, Princess!” you coo at her, caressing her cheek before you sit on the edge of the bed that’s filled with piles of clothes. “What’s the big sorting?” you ask, grabbing a cardigan and taking a look at it.

“I just have way too much stuff, can’t fit new stuff into my wardrobe, so I needed to sort it all out.”

The two of you go through everything and just catch up while you try on what you like. At the end, you are just sitting on the bed playing with Valerie. You can tell there’s something Rosa wants to share, but she seems reserved about saying it out loud.

“So, the other day we were talking with Steven about how crazy it is that Val is over one year old,” she starts, eyes glued to the little girl, handing her another building block as Valerie works on… whatever it’s going to be when it's finished.

“Yeah, that’s what we talked about with Harry after her birthday dinner. Makes us feel old,” you chuckle.

“Exactly,” she sighs chuckling. “So then we talked about, maybe… having another kid sometime soon.”

You perk up and looking at Rosa you see the shy smile on her lips and you gasp, but she shakes her head.

“I’m not pregnant,” she assures you, but then adds: “Not yet.”

“Oh my God, so you’re trying for another baby?” you whisper, even though there’s no chance of the guys hearing the two of you. You can hear the sound of the TV up here, they have no clue what you’re talking about.

“I mean, it can take some time, so we thought we could… start now.”

“That’s fantastic!” you breathe out, truly happy for your sister. You just know Valerie will be such a good big sister. “Val, you want a baby sister or baby brother?” you ask her and she looks at you with a serious expression, holding out one of the blocks.

“Baba!” she exclaims.

“Yes, baba!” you chuckle. She’s been learning kind of real words lately and it won’t take too long before she’ll be bossing around everyone in the house.

When it’s getting late you pack the clothes you choose and head down to leave. The guys are still on the couch, but Harry’s head perks up when he hears your footsteps.

“You want me to give you a ride?”

“Um, I’m fine, don’t want to bother you while the game is on.”

“It’s ending in five. If you can wait a little it’s alright.”

“Okay,” you nod smiling so instead of going to the front door you stop in the kitchen to wait for Harry.

Rosa puts Valerie into her high chair and gets a banana for her while you check your phone just when Marcus calls you. Hesitantly, but you answer it.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Hi, just wanted to check in if the weekend is still on.”

“Uh, sure. It is.”

“Great. I’ll have to check again with my boss, but I think I’ll be able to pick you up.”

“Great. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, babe.”

The call ends and you find yourself facing a curious looking Rosa on the other side of the kitchen island.

“Marcus?” she asks and you nod. “How are things going?” You’ve only mentioned it to her that it’s been hard between the two of you, but you definitely didn’t go into details. Harry was the first and last person to hear the whole story.

“Um… neutral, I guess?”

“That doesn’t sound promising.”

“I know, but I’m just trying to figure it out. We are spending the weekend together, I hope it’ll help us to get a little more… settled? I guess, I don’t know,” you stammer, nervously fidgeting with your phone in your hands. 

“That’s nice, was it his idea?”

“Yeah.”

“It’s good to know that Marcus is making the right attempts to smooth things out.”

“Attempts?” Harry’s voice makes both of you look in his way as he stands at the door, seemingly confused about what he just heard. “You’re still with Marcus?”

“Harry, I…”

“No, don’t try to explain it. I thought I talked sense into you last time.” He is clearly pissed, not holding back how upset he is to get the news that you are still dating Marcus. But on the other hand you can also feel yourself getting angry how he tries to control your life.

“You did, but I never said I’ll break things off with him.”

“Well, it surely sounded like you made up your mind,” he huffs.

“Well, I didn’t,” you scoff, crossing your arms on your chest.

“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t keep doing this to yourself!” he snaps gesturing in your way. “I thought we were over this!”

“We? What do you mean we?” you grimace and now you are raising your voice as well. “Harry, there’s no we! This is my relationship and it’s nice that you care, but you can’t tell me what to do!”

Harry is vivid. He needs everything in him not to burst right then and there and for a moment you think he’s gonna just explode. But when he speaks up again his voice is quiet, however you can feel all the anger and frustration behind it.

“Get in the car, we’re leaving.”

“What?”

“Get in the fucking car, Y/N!” he barks making you jump. Rosa and Steven, who arrived to the kitchen in the middle of this madness, are just watching the scene unfold, completely unable to even say a word.

Slowly, you slide off the stool and grabbing the bag filled with clothes you turn to Rosa.

“Thanks for… these,” you mumble before walking out, Harry following you right behind. 

Nothing is said as the two of you get into the car, Harry is clearly on the verge of anger outburst, but you’re pretty upset yourself. The drive back to your place is painfully quiet, but you can’t stop staring at his hands gripping the wheel. HIs fingers and knuckles are turning white from the way he is basically crushing the wheel in his hold. You wouldn’t be surprised if it had his grip’s imprint on it by the time you arrive to your building. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?” he snaps once the car is parked.

“Would you stop pretending like you have a saying in what I do?”

“I do have a saying in it! Because when you break again I’ll be the one picking you up from the ground!”

“Well, sorry it’s such an inconvenience to be my friend. But don’t worry, I won’t come to you again,” you snap back with a grimace and try to open the door, but it’s locked. “Let me out, Harry!”

“Fuck no, not until we talk about this,” he scoffs and it’s the last straw for you.

“There’s nothing to talk about! It’s none of your business, Harry! Stop pretending like you care!”

“I do care!” he shouts back so forcefully you are taken aback, sinking into your seat. “Of course I fucking care! How would I not?! I care about you so fucking much, how do you not see it?!”

At this point, you’re certain Harry has lost all self control and he is about to load he has been holding back out on you, while you’re just sitting there, staring at him completely speechless over how his whole being is filled with anger and fury.

“Stop fucking telling me that I don’t care when all I think about is you! Every damn day! I can’t fucking stop thinking about you, because every time my mind snaps right back to you when I’m trying to think about something else! Do you know how fucking painful it is?! See you fucking waste your time with that dickhead when I want to be with you?!”

Eyes widened you forget to even breathe as the words leave his lips and soon enough realization hits him hard about what he just said. His chest is violently waving, eyes staring straight ahead. Next time he speaks up the shouting is over, he is clearly shocked at his own behavior.

“Y/N, I-- what you told me last time, about ending up alone, that wasn’t the first time you told me all of that.”

“What?” you gasp.

“You broke down the same way at the wedding. Told me all about how you think you are just simply unlovable and will probably die alone.” His eyes snap down at his hands on his lap as he continues. “I was shocked how you’d ever think that way about yourself, because I was… I was already falling in love with you and I barely just met you that night. I couldn’t imagine what happened to you that made you believe that nonsense. I never felt like that with anyone else before and it was so fucking scary. Every time you looked at me or touched me, I could feel… the sparks. The fucking sparks, Y/N,” he lets out a bitter chuckle. “I never believed in that, but you made me feel that way. Then… one thing happened after the other and we were up in my room. I saw the way you looked at me, like I was your fucking everything and I have never experienced that. You fell asleep in my arms and I told myself that this is exactly how I want to spend the rest of my life.”

Tears roll down your cheeks as you listen in complete shock as Harry is still avoiding to look at you.

“I wanted to be the person who shows you how lovable and amazing you are, how worthy you are to be loved. Like I found my mission all of a sudden.”

“Then what the fuck happened in the morning?” you ask choking out the words. Harry finally turns to face you and you see his watery eyes. He was crying.

“You fell asleep and I was just watching you… and I realized that… sooner or later I would do something to hurt you. Because that’s what I always do and I didn’t want that. You didn’t deserve that, but I just knew I won’t be able to give you what you wanted and needed. And you told me all about how you just want to be loved and… I didn’t want to disappoint you in any way.”

He rubs his eyes turning back to look straight ahead and you see his lips tremble before he speaks up again. 

“I said all those stuff so you’d have a reason to hate me and you wouldn’t try to stay with me.”

“This is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you chuckle bitterly as the tears keep rolling down your cheeks. “Do you have any idea how fucking horrible I felt after that? I felt so ashamed for fucking weeks, Harry!”

“I-I know. I mean, I figured.”

“You made me feel unwanted and dirty, it took me so long to build my confidence back and be able to think of myself as more than just some used rug that was thrown out!”

Harry sits there in complete silence and just lets you load everything out on him, because he knows that’s what he deserves. He has tried to punish himself in so many different ways for what he did to you, but he knew he had to face you someday. Now the time has come and he is done trying to run away from the consequences of his actions in the past.

“I was blaming myself all this time, thinking that I must have done something wrong, when in reality it was you! It was fucking you!”

“I know, I’m so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t mean it to end like this.”

“You didn’t mean it to end like this?” you snap. “You literally continued to treat me like shit for years! If it wasn’t for Valerie, you’d still be a complete dick to me! And what was your intention with this now, huh? Why did you tell me all of this now?!”

“Because I couldn’t stop… seeing you be so unhappy with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you in any way. I’m selfish and I realized that I made a mistake, but I now know what I should have done, because…” He finally turns to face you again, you see a tear roll down his cheek as he takes a deep breath before continuing. “I love you. I love you, Y/N, and I’m fucking done pretending like I don’t.”

You stare back at him, breath caught in your throat and it’s the breaking point. You reach over to his side and unlock the doors so you can open yours and you jump out of the car wanting to get as far away from him as possible. He can’t just throw all of this on you after everything the two of you went through, that’s not how it works. Does he even mean it? How are you supposed to believe him after years of hatred?

You try to get inside the building, but he is quick to catch up with you, he grabs your upper arm and pulls back, but you yank his hold away. 

“Where are you going?!” he snaps towering above you.

“Home. And don’t fucking touch me!”

“But I literally just told you I love you, you’re not gonna say anything about that?”

At first you plan on not even answering, you make your way towards the door, but then you change your mind. Turning around you unload on him once again.

“You don’t have the right to tell me you love me! Not after all the shit I took from you! How am I supposed to believe it when you literally made me feel like shit for all these years, saying the meanest stuff to me every damn time we met! I was avoiding you like the plague because I can’t even count how many times you made me cry calling me names and treating me so fucking horrible! No, you are not just gonna waltz in here, tell me that I have to break up with my boyfriend because you’ve been in love with me all along. I don’t fucking believe you, Harry. So stay the fuck away from me,” you tell him and push your way inside. This time he doesn’t follow.

By the time you reach your front you’re sobbing, barely seeing from your own tears. With shaking hands you unlock the door and get inside shutting the door behind you before you collapse on the floor. 

Harry lives in delusion if he thinks he can just unload all of this on you and make everything right magically. Not after more than three years of the shit you took from him. How are you supposed to believe that he is telling the truth? If he loved you all along, how could he treat you like that? That’s not what love should feel like. All those countless times when you came home after seeing him and you couldn’t help but cry after some of his meanest comments… and now he is trying to make you believe he did it all to protect you from him? Bullshit.

It doesn’t work like that and now he is gonna have to face the consequences of his actions. 

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[everythinggeeky]

Learning Distraction | Kylo Ren (College AU)

Professor! Kylo Ren x Student! reader

Warnings: SMUT (18+ ONLY), language, teacher/student relationship, age gap, academic dishonesty, semi-public sex, porn with plot lmao, kinda dubcon, oral (m & f receiving), rough sex, like no aftercare, kylo has no sympathy

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: Professor Ren’s English 305 class was notorious for weeding out the strong students from the weak. Will your infatuation for the enthralling professor distract you from your success?

A/N: requests are open!

masterlist

Walking into the lecture hall on the first day of the semester was always a nerve-wracking experience. And on the first day of your sophomore year? Just as stressful as the first. Professor Ren’s English 305 class was described as rigorous and intense. It was a weeding course for the department, after all. It was intended to separate those who were serious about the major from those who were not. If anyone in his class showed the slightest sign of incapability or weakness, they would be dropped from the roster.

That was the agreement.

Taking your place in the second row felt comfortable. The second row shows you still care about the material but aren’t desperate for attention like all the girls in the first row; bent over in their seats, desperately scribbling down notes on Professor Ren’s lecture. Clearly distracted from his soft black waves and cleanly pressed dark button-down shirts rolled up to the elbows. 

He was intimidating. Yet charming. And you were captivated.

When Ren had opened the class with the syllabus guidelines, you were immediately overwhelmed. Would this semester even be possible with a full course load? This class alone would demand all of your attention and would occupy all of your time between lectures, study groups, and independent work and reading.

His writing standards were ridiculous and unlike any other professor you’ve ever had a class with. Single-spaced 11 point font, serif-font only. Any spelling or usage error was an automatic failure. In his opinion, an upperclassman English major wasn’t allowed to make a spelling mistake. It was lazy and proved that you were incapable. In addition to his insane writing standards, Ren had assigned multiple difficult texts for the semester that was way beyond the 300-course level. There was no way you would be able to understand anything you were reading, let alone write about it.

But damn, did he look good.

His impeccably shined shoes waltzed across the lecture hall and instantly took command of the space. All of the students in the lecture hall were equally as intimidated by the course as you were, but some did a better job of hiding it. And some, like the girls in the front in their short skirts and fluffy pens, did not hide their infatuation for the professor at all. There was no doubt they were here for one thing; a chance with the black sheep of the English department.

Over the course of the syllabus week, the front row had decreased by half. The fluffy pen girls were scared away, and you were getting pretty damn close yourself. The opening assignment was due two days ago, it required a full and detailed reading of the text. The close textual analysis was the core of the assignment. 

His prompts included trick questions and meaningless tidbits of information. He expected his students to take a strong approach to the text and defend it. SparkNotes could not save you in English 305. The remainder of the class assignments were structured exactly like this one. If you failed this first assignment, you would be removed from the roster. 

It had taken you over 12 hours to complete the first five-page assignment. In the process, you lost your mind and all confidence in reading and understanding the English language. When you submitted at the beginning of the lecture on Friday (on paper, Ren was the only professor in the department to demand it), you were just happy you didn’t have to look at the assignment anymore.

“I’ll have these graded and I’ll have individualized comments on your papers. Areas of improvement and areas of success. You are dismissed.” Professor Ren announced, not looking into the rows of students who have already mentally checked out for the day.

Neatly packing your things into your bag, you had missed his silent approach to the table. 

“y/n, correct?”

You whipped your head up to meet him, nodding “correct.”

“Glad to see you’re paying attention today. Are you enjoying the material?”

You stood from your seat, gaining a few inches but easily a foot shorter than him.

“I can’t lie and say it isn’t difficult, Professor. But after the first few readings for clarity, I did start to enjoy it.”

“Good. It’s challenging for a reason, it’ll make you a better reader and a better writer.” He walked away from your table, placing his own things into his leather messenger bag.

“Enjoy your weekend, y/n. But not too much.”

You left the hall with a curt nod, Professor Ren only a few paces behind you. Controlling your breath, you turned down the hall to exit the academic hall, returning to your dorm room to relax for the weekend.

When Monday came around, to say that you’ve been incredibly nervous about your grade for Professor Ren’s class would be an understatement. You had dressed nicely for today’s class, you had a presentation in your next class and maybe it would provide an extra boost of confidence to outweigh all of your anxiety.

Taking your seat in the second row, you found no one in front of you. They weren’t joking about removing students from the roster. Now, no one separated you from Professor Ren’s intimidating glare. Preparing yourself for the lecture, you tried to stay focused as best as you could, but today, Professor Ren was wearing a deep navy blue button-down with a skinny black tie, without a wrinkle in sight. He looked impeccable. The deep navy complimented his hair so nicely.

“y/n!” Ren declared from the front of the room, “Can you remind us what Blake told the world?” He brought you out of your daze.

“Uhh…’no bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings’….?”

“No. Blake sought to remind his readers of the beauty of nature and destruction through his works of poetry, art, and printmaking. And I suggest you pay attention to the lectures. This will be in the midterm.”

Without a response but with a heavy blush, you continued to scribble down notes on your notebook, including what Ren just said. 

The rest of the lecture went relatively smoothly, and only a small amount of embarrassment. Professor Ren handed out the introductory assignments right before dismissal. He handed your assignment to you upside down, you turned it over to see it scribbled in red pen. Heavy underlining and circles seemed to outnumber your own writing on the page. You scoffed in indignation and quickly filed the paper away in your bag in sheer embarrassment. Haven’t you had enough today?

“y/n, please see me in my office after class.” Professor Ren called out to you from the hallway before you could have the chance to slip out the door.

Apparently not. Shit.

When you made it to his office, he was already sitting comfortably in the large desk chair behind the heavy wooden desk. His office was decorated floor to ceiling with bookshelves which were full of books spanning a variety of eras, most of them 18th century, his specialty. You took a curious look around, his office seemed to match exactly what you thought it would.

“When you’re done gawking, take a seat.” he was the first to speak.

Without another word or another look, you took your seat in the chair across the desk from his. Setting your backpack down next to you, you avoided looking up at your professor.

“I’m worried about your grades. You’re in danger of being dropped from my roster.”

“Is this because of the intro paper?”

“Yes, and you’ve been...distracted by other things in my class, y/n. You have incredible potential. You just need to apply yourself.”

“Apply myself? Professor...I don’t understand… I read the text, and I read your notes. I worked for hours on that paper. I don’t understand what could be the problem here.”

“First of all, your intro paper was atrocious. It was disorganized and lacked a clear thesis.”

You opened your mouth in indignation, to which Ren quickly raised his hand to silence you.

“Look at last Wednesday’s notes again. You’ll find that Walpole would’ve said otherwise.”

“Professor Ren-”

He cut you off once again, “y/n.”

You sighed, surrendering, “perhaps I had been a little distracted.”

“Distracted.”

“Yes, sir.”

“What could have possibly held your attention that is more important than Walpole?”

You hesitated to defend yourself, “you, sir.”

“Me? Perhaps something should be done about that.”

“What? I don’t understand...I can join another study group if that would help, perhaps there are other students that understand the material better than I do…”

“No. You’ve already been assigned a study group. You’ll remain there until I say so. As for your distraction, come here.” His demeanor flipped on its head.

You rose hesitantly from your seat, standing in place. He called you over with a seamless motion of his hand. With that, you stepped closer to him, keeping a reasonable distance between your bodies. From this angle, he appeared incredibly tall, taller than when he was in the front of the lecture hall.

“Professor Ren, if there’s anything I can do to keep my grade up, I’ll do it. I need this class to graduate…”

“Oh, you’ll do anything…?”

“Yes, sir.”

Without another word, he pushed you gently to your knees in front of him.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me in class, practically drooling. You’re just as bad as those sluts with their pink fuzzy pens...spreading their thighs and just hoping to get some dick to pass…is that what you want?”

You nod and then bow your head in shame as Kylo palms himself softly. He unzips the fly of his slacks and pulls himself free.

“Take it,” he growls softly.

Reaching to grasp his cock, you start jerking it slowly.

“Don’t tease me.” he snarls through gritted teeth.

Licking slowly from base to tip, you take him in your mouth. Eventually, you gain confidence and begin bobbing your head down his shaft. Ren gripped the back of your skull, pushing you deeper onto his cock. Choking, you try to steady yourself and push off using his thighs. He doesn’t let you, instead, pushing down further on him.

With a heavy groan, Ren finally releases you, pushing you back to the ground. 

“Stop. Before you make me cum in your mouth like a common whore. Up. On the desk.” He orders.

You rise from your knees to sit on his desk.

“Where all naughty girls like you end up…spread your thighs for me like I know you want to.”

Propping your knees up on the sides of the desk as instructed, you revealed the thin lacy panties that were hiding underneath your short skirt. Ren took his position on his knees, eye level with your core. Looking up at you, he searched for any sign of resistance and found none, so he continued. 

“You know I can take whatever I want…” he trailed off before lowering your panties off your hips and tossed them beneath his desk to retrieve later. 

Spreading your folds with his fingers, he rubbed over your clit with his thumb once, twice, waiting for your signal.

“Professor!”

“That feels good, you little slut…? Soaking wet for your professor…” 

“Yes sir, please! Do something...it feels so good!”

“Quiet.”

Going silent, you held back a moan when he went down on your clit. Sucking and flicking over it, you threatened to release a moan with every change of pace. His mouth was talented; it was good for more than delivering lectures and issuing critiques. At this moment, your body warmed with pleasure. It starts low in your belly and radiates outwards. Gripping onto his hair for support, you pulled him in closer to your core. He grinned at this movement, taking it as a signal to push on. He teased and saturated every centimeter of your folds, only pulling away when your gasps were so intense.

With a smirk, he took you in once more. It was the same gaze that he had been giving you in class since last Wednesday. Was it true he was lusting for you as you were for him? Like a mouse caught in his brilliant trap, you whimpered and pleaded for your release. He grinned, pulling away from your center. 

“Do you want me inside you…?

“anything….I just need to cum. Please, professor.” you begged.

“Kylo...when we’re alone.”

You nodded, trying his name out for size on your lips, “Kylo...please.”

With an animalistic attack, he planted several heavy kisses along your neck and collarbone. Sucking a mark into the skin where your clavicle met the base of your neck. Marking you as much more than his student, you were unsure of what this meant for your future. Surely there was no way you could stay in class, this is definitely a disruption of the academic dishonesty policy. More than that, you vowed never to do anything of this sort in your own moral code. 

There was no resisting Kylo. He was beautiful in a sort of broken, dark and alluring type of way. He had captured your mind with his, grasping you by the heart, and pulled you in.

As he kissed his way from your neck, over your chest, and over the softness of your belly, you met his gaze with yours. There was no way you were coming back from this. He fisted himself, admiring your beauty. He found you equally as ravishing as you found him. This expression of lust was primal and irresistible. Teacher and student. Slut.

Pulling you back into the moment, Kylo whispered to you, “tell me you’re ready and you want this,” with a feral look in his eyes.

“Please…”

Without another word, he thrust inside you. With a heavy gasp, your body arches into him, head throwing itself back to stare at the ceiling. Processing the immense pleasure you were feeling immediately, every nerve ending was ignited, hair standing up on every inch of your body.

Reaching a hand out to him, grasping onto his shoulder for purchase. Kylo continued thrusting without relent. Knocking over wooden cups of pens, paperclips, and miscellaneous files to the floor. Maybe your essay with a big, fat fifty-five was in that pile. That’s what got you into this situation, anyway. That, and your uncontrollable lust for your own professor.

Breaking you away from your mental tangent, he upped the intensity of his thrusts, a groan to punctuate each one. He continued at this pace until his next warning came.

“Fuck….! You better fucking be close…”He gritted through clenched teeth, hushed breath falling on the shell of your ear.

“I am...but please, Kylo...touch me…”

“Touch you…? Like you deserve it…?”

“Yes…!”

“Maybe if you didn’t fail your assignments, you wouldn’t be begging for my cock!”

“You brought me here!”

“Because you failed.”

In that moment, it all came crashing back down again.You really were just like the other girls, hoping to get even an ounce of sympathy to make yourself feel better and fill the gap in your chest. Gripping your chin roughly, Kylo forced you to look up at him.

“Your thoughts are loud.”

“What?” you looked at him.

“You wear your heart on your sleeve. You beg for approval. You need it.”

Snarling, Kylo released you from his grip.

“You are so capable. On your own.You just need to find it.”

With a long, grinding thrust, brushing his pubic bone against your clit, you feel overwhelmed with pleasure and approval. The very same approval he vowed he wasn’t giving to anyone. And he had just chosen you.

Desperate hands grabbed at any expanse of skin you had access to. 

“Cmon, sweet girl, you better cum for me…”

“I will…! I’m so close…”

Grunting, his thrusts fell out of tempo and were now hurried and rushed. Pulling your hips to meet his thrusts, you moaned his name into his ear, falling over the precipice. Kylo finished himself off with a punishing pace, hushing your name at the top of his climax.You smirked back at him, grinning at the effect you had on your professor. With this, you confirmed the feeling was mutual. 

After regaining his breath, he pulled his softening cock from you. Stepping back and pulling his now slightly wrinkled slacks back to his waist, buttoning and redoing the belt. You looked back up at him, and slid off his desk. You reached underneath to retrieve your panties from his desk.

“Leave them. They’re mine now.”

“I have to walk all the way across campus. I’m not leaving without them.”

“Yes you are. Guess you’ll have to figure it out.”

“Kylo-”

“It’s Professor Ren,” tucking his dress shirt back into his slacks, “this can’t continue.”

“I assumed that. But why did you say…”

“Hush. Get your things and go. You can’t be seen here for much longer.”

“Professor.”

“Make the corrections on your introductory assignment. I’ll take a look at it and give you partial credit. I think you have potential in this department. Fix it. And find your motivation.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Go.”

Throwing your messenger bag over your shoulder, filing the paper away inside, slipping your flats back on your feet, and pulling your skirt over your ass one more time, you left his office without another glance back at him. Walking across campus, you couldn’t help but wonder what this meant for the future of your so-called relationship with Professor Ren. Would the department catch on to him swinging your grade, letting you slip through the cracks of the rigorous curriculum? Would they force you to leave?

You pushed the thoughts from your head, picking up a snack and a cup of tea from the cafe on your way back to your dorm. Tossing your bag on your bed, collecting your thoughts from the last 45 minutes of your life. You decided to spend the night in, order a pizza, and fix your failed assignment. If you focused hard enough on your studies, you could maybe impress Professor Ren. Maybe there is a future for you in the department.

Independent of him? You weren’t so sure.

tagged: @hxldmxdxwn​ @smokahuntis​ @obiwkenobi​​ @thecutestlittlebunbunfairy​ @empower-bi-women​ @jbarnesss​

[snimeat]

Oh, darling, you followed me first :) I just followed back, that is all.

And of course I am not okay! Who in their right mind would be normal on tumblr? That's the point of this hellhole <3

Well, thai shows... idk, I'm waiting on NLMG and 10 years ticket. Between Us is unfortunately a disappointment for me. And GAP has no plot whatsoever... for now I guess. But I'm mostly watching it for the thirst ngl. And the gorgeous outfits. But plot ?? Never seen her. Wednesday was great imo, so is The Imperfects if you haven't seen it. Oh and The Bastard Son and The Devil Himself was amazing, even tho it got immediately cancelled. Fuck netflix basically. This is why I pirate their shows. Smh. Oh, and I heard from mutuals that Heartbreak High is also very good. So there you go - some recommendations.

But anyway, glad you're doing good, that's what I wanna hear <3

☀ (sun emoji is shit on windows :( and tumblr keeps changing to bulleted instead of a fucking dash )

so we’re moots then, okay, okay. cool👀

i laughed. honestly, can’t even deny that one because lmao. we’re just a bunch of weirdos in here and gotta love us for it, huh.

i don’t follow that many thai shows so don’t worry about that. i just jump wherever the brain jumps to honestly. so, what’s NLMG? i’m also waiting for 10 years ticket and i’m pretty sure some others too but my brain is like a foggy forest, sometimes things are visible but most of the time they’re not lmao. i did start between us but idk what happened there but i lost interest and rn i’m watching it mostly through mor @liyazaki sets who so kindly tags me and i live for it. i also gif watch through mor sets for the gap one, i just am not feeling the fluff. i need characters who are evil and spill blood rn so anything far from that isn’t in my sight. i definitely enjoyed wednesday too!!! not gonna lie though, i wished we saw something more gore and evil? i’m in my reputation era, anything too cute and romantic or just generally good, i’m out lmao. i haven’t heard of the imperfects BUT i did see an edit of the bastard son and the devil himself and thought of starting that RIGHT AFTER seeing it’s been cancelled, so disappointed but not surprised. heartbreak high? i don’t think i heard of that either but i’ll try looking it up!

how are you though? are you doing okay?

so thank you for all this!!! btw, i did start alchemy of souls (like two hours before i answered this so i’m enjoying that if you haven’t seen it!), and i am trying to rewatch the untamed cause i want pain apparently but other than that i ditched all my shows, my mdl must be yelling with the amount of things i haven’t finished lmao.

[feuqueerfire]

GMMTV 2023 Showcase

This is so exciting, it’s like a kpop comeback except instead of having like a 1 hour live showcase before the release time when the song and album drops, we get like a 5-hour event with like 20 trailers and possibly won’t get the shows till 2024.

Gonna miss the first 1.5 hours because I’ll wake up at 6am instead of 4:30, hope it’s just delays and speeches and like 1 trailer i don’t care about so that I don’t miss much.

Trailer: 

Initial Reaction: (Cast/Director/Plot) 

Predicts: Did I predict this? Were there rumours about this? Was I hoping for it even without hearing rumours?

tags: gmmtv 2023

Trailer: MilkLove - 23.5

Initial Reaction: ahhhhhhh as expected but I’m so relieved! Gemini/Forth is a side couple in this as well. Also, loveee MilkLove’s outfits at the event

Predicts: I would’ve been very surprised without a MilkLove show and there were rumours about the 23.5 adaptation.

Missed the Dew/Prim trailer

Trailer: Cooking Crush - Offgun

Initial Reaction: My mouth fell open when I realized the cooking trio comedy show is actually OffGun BL ?! It looks cute enough and a nice surprise, though somewhat juvenile after Not Me. Are Neo and other dude a side couple? Update: Other guy is Mark and I assume so. Apparently it’s being directed by the same/similar team as CLW/Enchante/FUTS so expectations should be low lmao. Also, after watchinga few reactions, I’ve realized that Gun is tryna scam Off with those lessions lmfao I didn’t realize that at first

Predicts: I’d heard 0 rumours about this so I went O.O This was so surprising, which makes it exciting.

Trailer: Middle Children Friends and Betrayal - Wednesday Club

Initial Reaction: not super eyecatching the way I’d expect something with friendship and betrayal and revenge to be. Jane is pretty as always, 

Predicts: 

Trailer: JimmySea - Last Twilight

Initial Reaction: Interesting premise, hope they handle the disability well. The storyline suits the ships I think. I don’t feel much pull toward JimmySea as a ship but maybe they’ll manage to get me with this show.

Predicts: I knew P’Aof was gonna direct a BL and JimmySea were gonna star in one but didn’t know Aof would be directing JS and also didn’t know the story Update: apparently it’s an original script.

Trailer: the one after JS - idc

Trailer: Only Friends

Initial Reaction: KhaoFirst !!!!!! Messy, messy gays and physical relationships and arguing :00 Definitely not what I expect from a GMMTV BL but then Jojo came out and it all made sense. Mans likes messy, ensemble cast shows. Also I’m glad I wasn’t prepared for this one because trying to figure out who the main ship are (before I realized it’s ensemble cast) and whether Khao and First will be friends or a side couple in that first 15 seconds and then my mind just melting for the rest of the trailer was great. Definitely one of my most anticipated and a very very nice surprise.

I’ve watching some reactions to the trailer on Youtube and it’s hilarious how people start off normal in the beginning and then they keep going “huh? huh?! HUH?!?!” at the Friends-> Secret Crush on a Friend -> FWB -> BF --> A friend’s BF transitions and then go back a few seconds to rewatch the transition and understand it 

There’s a whole mess with it on Twitter with people saying it’s too sexualized or that it’ll give queer people a bad rep and Jojo even having to explain that it’ll be more than just NC scenes like bruh I hope this show is incredible and Jojo hits it out of the park because 1) I’m anticipating this show so much but also 2) I need him to show these ppl

Predicts: 0 rumours and expectations !! Didn’t know I could hope for KhaoFirst this year ahhh so this was a great surprise

Trailer: Faceless Love or whatever, idc

Trailer: Dangerous Romance

Initial Reaction: PerthChimon is expected but god that trailer was just Event after Event, got whiplash fr

Predicts: knew about the high probablity of PerthChimon for a few months now but didn’t know the story

Trailer: The Jungle

Initial Reaction: hmm interesting cast but I’m not fully interested. think I would’ve enjoyed it more if it was about girls rip but it’s by Snap25 so hmmm

Predicts: none because I was hoping another Snap25 show filled with girls

Trailer: The TayNew

Initial Reaction: as expected taynew and i also don’t care much about cherry magic. i was so excited for jan as fujisaki but we get sing/jan meaning no aroace fujisaki aghhhhh 

Predicts: the TayNew BL was almost certain and the Cherry Magic rumours were strong on Reddit, so I’m not surprised. Although I’ve liked some of the other surprises in this list, this one was good to have been warned about because wtf

Trailer: Midnight Museum

Initial Reaction: oooh a fantasy type thing? missed most of this trailer but seems like it’s mostly just vibes right now. Wonder how strong the plot will be but I hope we get to see some very good acting.

Predicts: Gun and Tor were expected, they were lots of rumours about it.

Trailer: Our Skyy 2

Initial Reaction: ahhhh !!!!!! T.T More Bad Buddy PatPran, I’m so fucking happy and almost cried when I realized what this trailer was. I’m losing my whole mind, we’re getting more KhaoFirst AyanAkk as well T.T 

Predicts: I was hoooping for an anthology series (esp after Magic of Love) but wasn’t sure if we were actually gonna get it, I’m so happy. Esp because we’re getting like very established couples in it as well ahh

Trailer: My ID is Gangnam Beauty remake - idc

Trailer: The Bright trailer - idc

Are we coming to a close soon? We got both Win and Bright leading series.

Ah yes, it has ended.

Time to watch some of the earlier stuff:

Interesting, so they’re still planning on airing a bunch of stuff. I assume it'll be like 1 day: MSP, NLMG, one of the midnight series, and 2 days: Warp Effect, 10YT

Catch Up with Trailers I Missed

Trailer: JoongDunk - Hidden Agenda

Initial Reaction: It was fun at first (i think Joong basically dating Dunk under the guise of teaching him is hilarious) but it got really dramatic toward the end and I didn’t like SIMM when it got needlessly dramatic so I’m cautious but optimistic

Predicts: I think there was recent prediction of JoongDunk with this novel and from their IG live, people guessed AouBoom were a side couple.

Trailer: A Boss and A Babe

Initial Reaction: I need the title changed right nowwwww and I wonder if there's gonna be more of a focus on the e-sports team part of it in the actual show. It was a fine trailer, though Force as the boss isn't working for me at all. Curious about the friendgroup and side couple Fluke/Ohm (rookie) 

Predicts: Knew they were gonna make another attempt at ForceBook 

Trailer: Enigma

Initial Reaction: Ooh, looks like a cool high concept show from the director of The Gifted. GMMTV don’t have many high concept/SFF/Horror shows this year compared to the multitude of SFF shows last year. Also people are kinda meh since it’ll be student (Prim) and teacher (Win) romance but like I don’t really mind that in this type of show (in contrast, I would’ve minded in The Eclipse)

Best made trailers

Only Friends: I liked not quite knowing where this was going at the start, liked getting to see such strong emotions in it, the acting and production was good. Also has insane rewatchability because I understand a little more each time.

Our Skyy: Apparently I love being confused in the beginning because this had me thinking this was some merch advertisement of established pairings until we got the ATOTS transformation and then I just went into a state of shock because we’re getting more PatPran. I love the vibe of the trailer and enjoyed how the transitions worked as well, seems like each pair had an object (EarthMix - that fucking diary lol, KhaoFirst - the merch but beautiful hoodie, ForceBook - computer(?), FourthGemini - the guitar, JoongDunk - painting, PondPhuwin - climbing stairs ?!, JimmySea - hourglass, OhmNanon - football)

Rumors I Wish Had Been True

Everybody was so certain about the JoongDunk fortune teller show for weeks, so interesting that we didn’t get that.

brief ข้ามฟ้าเคียงเธอ rumour. would’ve been cook cuz i think it’s royalty?

Bingo

I’m not gonna actually post my Bingo card but I got none rip. I knew enough rumours to get a Bingo but had a whole bunch of guesses and hopes that I’d heard nothing about. Unfortunately my hopes of a female-led show or GL side couples were dashed, oh well.

Maybe I’ll get a bingo next year if I still do it.

Anticipation Ranking

Only Friends

Our Skyy 2

Enigma (Het)

23.5 (GL)

Last Twilight = Dangerous Romance = Hidden Agenda = Midnight Museum

Cooking Crush

Cherry Magic

A Boss and a Babe

None of the non-BL/GLs caught my attention except Enigma and maybe Midnight Museum, which is a big step down from last year (2022 non-BLs I was interested in: PSIHY, Warp Effect, Home School, Midnight Motel, My Precious and also possibly Dirty Laundry and UMG). Only one of those has come out lol so at least I’ll still have the others to look forward to next year

[survivor-tierradelfuego]

Ep. 10: “Not all hero’s wear capes, some wear pajama pants and robes!” - Cody

Amy A

Everything worked out PERFECTLY. Ugh I love a good plan. Hopefully my new core 4 plus Najwah stays in power. 

Olivia A

WHAT THE HELL!! Grae was my closest ally this is so disappointing. On top of everything, Aimee didn’t even vote with us!! So we’re at a 6-4 disadvantage. I don’t think anyone wants to work with us. Our last hope is finding and buying the idols and utilizing Kalle’s fake idol. I hate this.

Pedro A

woke up on the bottom...and thinking i was going home...guess what...im still here ahahahhahahahahahahhhaahhah...yall though...kalle is my guardian angel ...like if it wasnt for that girlll i would be out

ben kessler

Wednesday, July 29th, immediately after the tribal grae got voted out: heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh

Aimee

I had a long day and now Grae is gone. I’m honestly crying. Jay asked if I was okay and the river of tears just started flowing. I only knew Grae for a short while and really wanted to get to know them more. They brought such a beautiful, fun and loving energy to this game. Grae, I really am going to miss you. I’m just gonna go hug a stuff animal. 

Maddison

I knew Pedro was going to play an idol. He didn’t do one single puzzle, it’s obvious he felt safe. Snakes are slithering. 

Kalle N.

I truly cannot believe that our plan worked but it did and my splitting headache is totally worth it. I really feel like I deserve an Emmy or an Oscar for my performance with Maddison and Olivia after tribal but it's fine. I have absolutely no idea what comes next but boi will it be messy. I'm so sorry it had to be Grae but I didn't know what else to do. Also I hate that I'm working with Ben but don't worry I will use my chaotic energy to go against him eventually. I will now be erasing myself from the narrative and taking a break for several hours. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Najwah

OK last night's tribal was wiiiiiiild af. I think the funniest part is that this all started with me planting a seed. I told Amy L that she is at the bottom of their alliance and that I was open to working with her to get Maddison out. She spilled all the tea about Maddison having two idols and that she's been wanting to gether out for a while bc she says the same thing to everyone lmao. I think the thing that pissed Amy off is that she told her "I feel closest to you" anyway, Amy didn't respond to me immediately so I thought she wasn't on board at first so I told Cody I'd work with him and that I have the idol from Alan. Ffs. Wrong move. Cody just trust other people wit information and it's really annoying. While I love Sarah, I can't really trust her bc she's really close to Ben and Aimee - who I do not trust. Well, Aimee I am not sure about. I guess I only don't trust her because of her close Ness to Ben and Ben blatantly lies. Anyway. So Amy told me that their alliance is still trying to vote Pedro which is perfect for us coz we can still stay Hanúha strong. So at this point I realise I wouldn't have to play my super idol and Cody wouldn't have to play his extra vote. Anyway. Amy tells Kalle about the plan to get Maddison out. I send Amy a long ass message Pedro sent Zack that Zack sent me. She tells her group that Zack had sent it to her, to solidify their vote for Pedro. And then She, Kalle, Ben and Pedro form an alliance and they pull off one of the most epic blindsided. I mean, wow. Amy told me beforehand so I saw it coming and I told Cody about it too. Lmao but Ccody just can't be low key he wrote something about Maddison's two idols and he asked in the Old Hanúha group whether anyone had known about the plan lmao obviously Ben was like "no" and wtf. Ben's facial expressions at tribal was hilarious especially because I know he careful conducted this whole genius plan. I mean people still think their alliances are with their alliances and that no one has moles but there are so many layers right now and there are a few moles. 

Cody just needs to shut up. Be like Ben who claims that everything he is doing is for James lmao but is in a secret alliance with the person that got James out lmao love it. I love that I can see through some of the BS right now. The only person that could fuck up my game is Cody atm but I am taking a leap of faith and trusting him. He needs to trust me too. I kept telling him to just trust the process last night and he kept freaking out. I think the realisation of Ben being a BSer got to him a bit. Also, he toldd Sarah that I spoke to Amy? Like I'm so fkn mad. Can he just shut up? Ugh that's my biggest problem right now. I LOVE CODY OMG WE SPEAK ON VIDEO CALL LIKE EVERY HOUR LMAO but I'm just scared that he is too trusting with certain people, especially at this point in the game. He also doesn't know how to be low key lmao which is kinda funny. Also, Pedro. Wev ebeen talking a lot. Pedro's friggin Greek they're speech and the vote with Grae that ended with "sorry not sorry" just. Lmao. I wish I watched this on TV. I'm sad that it happened via skype😂😂 also I am not sure how this VL confession thing works. Did I say the right things? Yall probably have all the tea already. I'm a little sad that Grae went home. She seemed genuinely nice but she was our only option because Olivia won immunity. Maddison also made us all uncomfortable coz she took the time to chat to none of the new people at merge. Like? Olivia and Grae made the effort. She just seems too safe. Too comfortable. She isn't even participating in this challenge. Is she THAT comfortable or just pissed? Who knows? Never keep to yourself like that. It makes people suspicious. Pedro does seem very smart and manipulative though and I will be weary of him. Let's go idol hunting then woohoo. 

Najwah

Also I keep laughing at how ridiculously bad I am at answering questions at tribal. Omg. Embarrassing. I need like a few minutes to THINK. I always look back, and wonder why tf I said what I said. In retrospect, I'd answer last night's question with "don't we all feel like we are on the outs?" ugh. I'm so bad at it. I realise it makes me look dumb and perhaps that's not a bad thing. I don't mind looking dumb tbh. Lmao. 

Cody A.

I haven’t done one of these written confessions in a while! Obviously things have been absolutely fish crazy. Idek what fish crazy means but it just came to me. And on the topic of fish... I’m pretty positive I called Maola a bunch of sharks at tribal council. 

If it wasn’t for Naj last night, I would have been completely blonde sided by the vote. I had no idea what was going on, I thought the plan was to put votes on Pedro and Madison and one of them would go. 

About 20 minutes before tribal naj called me and said she did not want me to feel left out of the events that were about to occur. She told me the real plan of Pedro and Madison both playing idols and Pedro casting the sole vote on Grae. Not going to lie I was scared shitless... I was so close to writing kalles name as a safety net for myself. What if Pedro would’ve cast the sole vote against me? At the very least it would’ve been a 1-1 tie between myself and kalle. I just didn’t want to be Denise’d out of this game. 

Ultimately I trusted my gut which told me to just trust naj. If I had got fucked over last night, at least I would’ve went out trusting the right people. Naj also told me about a 4 person alliance between Amy, Pedro, Kalle, and BEN... My Ben!!! Smh. So moving forward I have to be very careful with the information I give and receive from Ben which sucks because I thought I could trust him more :/ Basically THANK THE LORDT FOR NAJ. Not all hero’s wear capes, some wear pajama pants and robes! 

Kalle N.

So this entire time that I've worked with Ben, he always dictates our moves and every single thing I can or can't say to certain people. If I suggest something he immediately turns it down and will only do what he wants. Men are the worst. Anyways, a little bit ago after he told me what our next move is and didn't let me have any input, he suddenly said "Actually what do you want to do? You go ahead and tell me what you want". That is EXTREMELY sus and makes me think that he's just trying to make me feel better while he's secretly plotting against me. I could go along with it and just let him vote me out bc honestly I'm exhausted, or I could reveal all of the insanity that happened in the last vote to my other alliance and then expose him to his own tribe for working with me. Which would get him voted out. But that's a lot of work so I'm ngl I'm leaning towards just getting voted out myself

Aimee

I’m so glad I’m not actually on an island playing real life Survivor right now. I would constantly be in the ocean or somewhere in the bushes bawling my eyes out. And then coming back to camp like, “oh hey guys! No puffy face here, I promise! Yeah everything is peaches! Hanuha strong! Those red eyes are just from too much sun, I think I need to lay down in the shade” I’m not crying over Grae and how shitty I was to Maddison or anything, JayKay I totally am! I hate that I didn’t tell Maddison the votes were going her way. I’m not even sure why I didn’t. I’m so sorry Maddison, I really hope we can rebuild our connection and work together again. I just feel like barf and am exhausted. Trying to play this game with a full time job is tough. I hope I have the emotional fortitude to pick myself back up and put on a poker face. The last thing I need is anyone figuring out my tells and knowing what I am up to. I want to work with Ben and Maddison the most at this point. I hope I can make that work out. 

Pedro A

I'm honestly scared...for the next tribal ...I feel like everyone is gonna go after me...cause apparently I'm the villan lol

Kalle N.

It's a little hard to focus on the game at the current moment bc an exciting/terrifying development may be occurring in my life in the next couple of days. I'm having a prolonged anxiety attack. We were going to try to take out Aimee so F's in the chat to pay respect. Don't know what I'll be doing. Need to go cry in the shower now.

Najwah

Sigh. It's been a very long day. I really played hard at this challenge, knowing I have a 15% DA. Do I think it's insane that someone came into the game when half the players had already been eliminated and over half the 24 hours had already passed only to NOT even try to eliminate the one person not in our alliance in there, then pretend it's all kumbaya and eliminate our alliance (who we said we won't eliminate, we made a pact?) one by one? I mean yeah it's damn insane. And not that I'm a sore loser or anything, but I wish she'd have been there when things were actually heated and when everyone else was putting in the hard work. This isn't endurance in my opinion. This is coming into a game late and reaping all the benefits. However, well done on her tactic. Love it honestly. I think she made good moves and knew when to strike and for that, of course I think she's a fkn Queen. Even though I felt as though I was so close to winning immunity, even though I tried really hard. At the end of the day, it's how you outwit and outlast your opponents. Next time I'll be sure to not read challenge rules at 4am and then try to actually understand the game properly and how I too, can make things easier for myself dammit coz I think i keep making everything so hard for myself in this game ugh. I just need one fucking WIN. Goodness I am playing so hard. Wow. Wow. Starting to wonder what panderosa is like lol must be fun. Anyway I need to sleep coz the sleep deprivation is making me feel sick af and making me paranoid about having corona. 

Aimee

https://lovelyygifss.tumblr.com/post/618070044309700608/deserved-more-than-0-votesssss QUEEN SARAH!!!!!!! 👑 ♥️ This challenge proved to me so much that Sarah is in it for the long haul with me! I could tell she was never guessing for my word and I wasn’t trying hers. Team Casanova is once again coming up equal on all challenges and I love to see it! I can’t believe I got to have my Michele moment and come from behind after being hours behind in the challenge and eliminating the last three people in a row to kick down that damn puzzle! I am on such an adrenaline rush!!! After the low lows of last night this rollercoaster of game really proves you can get right back up and thrive! Haha it was so hard saying my word since I’m a pretty positive person and my word was “not.” Sarah and I never gave up in this challenge and we ended up being the last two remaining!!! I also really bonded with Najwah and Cody. That challenge was so much more than immunity it was also a great opportunity to bond with cast mates and I really capitalized on that. Even during this challenge I patched things up with Maddison too and it seems like we are back to trying to make things work with us. I feel like Grae would want that for both of us too. I went from crying my eyes out the night before to total redemption today. It was on my bucketlist to win an individual immunity and I did it on something I never knew I could win. I’m just so amped and trying to calm myself down. I’m just https://youtu.be/erG5rgNYSd Wheeler island in the sun The song I was listening to when I won immunity. 🎃🐻🌈🍑❤️💜🧡💛

Sarah

There have been so many things that have happened today... This morning Ben, Naj, and I gave Cody enough coins for him to hopefully get the idol. Cody showed me what was in the store and how there were two necklaces for $20 which was odd. He got one of the necklaces and we thought it was a real idol. Tbh we still don’t know if it’s a real idol. Cody sent a fake message to Ben and I showing that it was a “fake idol” (he got the message from Naj when she had found a fake idol). We thought it was real but when Cody found it it said “what seems to be an idol,” which makes me think someone planted a fake idol there and he did get a fake idol. I will send in more soon... 

Najwah

I thought that making it to merge would be enough for me lol but somehow my goal is just to get further now. I'm at a crossroads though bc there is no one I really want to get out or back stab or whatever. Cody found a supposed idol yesterday. I told him just to tell Ben it's a fake idol and if Ben wanted to use the fake idol, he could give him my idol. Thing is, Cody is paranoid about it being a real idol or fake one that he found. I think he should just chill about it and it'll be fine. I just want Cody to be calm, I feel like without Zack's constant talking and scheming, the silence is getting to him a bit. But I quite like the silence. He thinks it means something is happening or people are plotting against him. I just think it means people are trying to sleep lol. I mean even if he was a target, he still has an idol. Ugh. Anyway it's actually a religious holiday for me today and tomorrow. So I will spend time with my husband and perhaps go to a fancy restaurant or something. I haven't felt fancy in so long and I realised everyone in this game has really seen gross, messy haired, late night Najwah lmao like I usually don't even let my friends see me this way 

Najwah

It's silly trying to keep wondering who tf I can trust. I need to just go with my gut. There are a few people in the game I really like. Cody, Sarah, Amy, Pedro and Aimee. I don't know the rest and I don't trust Ben. I don't know what he's up to. He was supposed to be in some secret alliance with Kalle and Amy but he told Cody and I about them so what's really happening? Who knows? Also he keeps asking me what do I want to do who do I want out? Lmaoooooooooo. 

Najwah

We had a lot of deep, crazy conversations yesterday and one of my favs were actually drooling over survivor players and realising how gay everyone is lmao. I love that. As someone who has struggled with my sexuality for most of my life, thinking I'm gay for a long time and then finding myself attracted to boys too was bizarre in the early 2000s. and being told being bisexual is a "phase" or "confusion" or that it was bc I went to an all girls school (shout out to Rhenish girls High), being in a space where everyone is really open and accepting of all this is amazing. I'm happy i live in a country where gay marriages have been legal since 2006 and ironically being trans or gay is not that big of a deal here as it is in countries way more progressive than ours. I still struggle with non binary pronouns but I am learning thanks to this game. I feel free just being who I am, whoever tf that is in this game. And for that I'm obviously very thankful. Today, I'm married to a man who appreciates my sexuality and is open to me exploring it even more. Its been a long journey and it makes me extremely happy seeing people in this game, so much younger than me and so much more sure of themselves. I'm happy that they will be spared a lot of pain and confusion. I love GenZ. I love that they just are who they are and there is no pretense. This Is so important and a luxury previous generations could only dream. Of. 

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Olivia A

Our plan for this vote feels really ambitious but I think it’s gonna work. We’ll likely get the numbers back :)

Maddison

I’m going to have to use my advantage tonight to save my ass. Guess that’s what advantages are for, eh?

Ben Kessler

I am trying to vote kalle out. If it works, my name will be out there but it may pay off. Maddison and Olivia are definitely going for me which is fine. I need to tell Pedro 5 minutes before tribal to trust me.

Kalle N.

Maddison will use her advantage, Olivia will play my idol, the only votes that will count will be the votes we put on Cody. That's it that's the plan

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/PuZChTTJzzU

Pedro A

Okay so me olivia kalle and amy are voting cody...plus maddison will leave tribal......and olivia will play the idol kalle has....i swear if olivia votes for me...and i go HOMEEE....IM DONEE...i have a bad feeling about this tribal...im trusting the devil lol 

Olivia A

Kalle has been playing double agent this whole time and told everyone about the safety without power advantage grrr what a mess 

Maddison

I’m making a big move tonight and I’m not sure yet how it will pan out. 

Olivia A

Kalle has been playing double agent this whole time and told everyone about the safety without power advantage grrr what a mess 

Olivia A

Initially we were going to all (Maddison, Cody, Najwah, Sarah, Aimee, and I) vote Ben but we are going to switch it to Kalle because Aimee and Ben are kinda close and we want to keep Aimee as a number. I’m happy to see Kalle go after how much she has lied to Maddison and me.

Olivia A

I am SO nervous for this vote. Here is the whole plan: Maddison will play her safety without power advantage and I will play the (fake) idol that Kalle gave me. This is just so that Kalle doesn’t get tipped off that we know about her lies. Kalle believes Maddison, Amy, and I are voting for Cody and think that she is voting for him as well. In reality, Cody, Aimee, Sarah, Najwah, Amy, and I are voting for Ben. We suspect Ben, Kalle, and maybe Pedro are voting for me and expect it to work because of the fake idol that Kalle planted. I really hope this works because if people are lying then I’m definitely going home. 

Ben Kessler

Dearest confessional, My life is out on the line. I am in a very vulnerable position right now and if I stay in the game tonight damage control must be done. There are many complicated plans and I work best under chaos, so these votes are hopefully good for my game overall. If kalle actually gives her idol to Olivia and we vote out kalle, maddison and Olivia and Amy will be pissed, but they do not have the numbers. I would need to do some more work to make sure I get the info that kalle is currently giving me, but it's not as bad as going farther with kalle and then losing later on. I now need to video call kalle goodbye.

[vivaciousyellow]

y: neverwhere by neil gaiman

...or actually, rather, nevermore of the-raven-by-edgar-allen-poe kind because guess what ya bitch is feeling downright feistily angsty what’s new? this isn’t. 

dear victoria,

i binge ate today.

it felt worse than usual because i’ve been trying really hard lately to watch what i choose to put into my body and at what quantities. and not to mention i’m already rather devastated about my thinning hair. am i being vain? i need nutrients nutrients nutrients nutrients nutrients

someone just chop all my hair off 

maybe i’ll be so compelled to get more angular cheeks and chin due to the unflattering amount of exposure i’ll stop eating for a bit

late last fall, i began wondering what it would feel like to just make the cut. a cut. the excuse i recited to myself in objection was that the only access to sharp things i had were the dirty ass communal kitchen knives. and i was too anxious to go to the 100 yen shop and have to ask to buy my own. and i was too scared to do anything with my hair clippers (also from the 100 yen shop, aka the best place on earth, aka heaven, aka i should be investing in items that are of the most excellent Made In Japan quality because sustainability but you know what the things in there are so high qua you wouldn’t believe your eyes ten million firelies it’s less than one wholeass USD). 

i confessed to david in the winter that i didn’t know how to feel happy anymore

but at least now i understand why people might want to feel pain

i shouldn’t have started the day eating two packs of ramen. now im about to end the day with two. but fuck, the bag of cheerios i downed in the interim with my litre carton of milk is wreaking mild havoc. last time i drank four cups of milk i was in fifth grade, reading a book by the huge bay window of our first home, my parents’ personal prototype of the American Dream. and honestly, i didn’t even mind getting diarrhea for it. it was in the late afternoon, just a smidge past golden hour. mom and dad had gone out, it was just my sister doing unrelatable teen things in her room. there might have been a CD player involved? was i sitting on the pastel purple stool or was i reclined into the lazy boy chair? was i happy or just content?

anyway, it was the perfect time to overdose on lactose and whatever, the milk was delicious. #yolo beaches

even tho it was skim. lmao i just needed to drink water but opted for tasteless murky bullshit instead. and now i can’t tell if i want to shit my pants because of lactose intolerance or because of my seminar class on wednesday. 

so, this is the one year anniversary of my first depressive episode since the social worker in high school called me troubled. i’m so scared this monstrous sense of hopelessness and dread is reviving itself upon the fertile ground of unresolved issues i’ve seemingly kept ready for it, so tip top swanky spanky new.

why can’t i do better? why am i throwing this tumblr irredeemably back into the dark times of angsty xanga-livejournaling (victoria, hee~elll~lllllpppp)? am i even allowed to snarkily refer back to those ‘dark times’ when i’m only vicariously living through my own blurred memories of my sister typing secretively away on her old ass chonky laptop as she sat wrapped in darkness and metal chains, dressed like a chinese-knock-off emo grunge kid?

i can say that because she literally got most of those clothes and necklaces from china i swear

excuse my pathetically unrecognisable attempt at edgy humour, all i can think about is how that one fleeting whimsical thought i had earlier about self-induced vomiting is becoming increasingly substantial. 

i feel like the protagonist in neverwhere by neil gaiman. but like only in the sense of a very loose interpretation on what similes are supposed to accomplish and based on a very loose interpretation of what the book was about.

1. like i’ve become unrecognisable and/or easily forgetable but to myself so like i see the world (read: my body) going on and operating as usual, but like i know i’m missing something (read: me? my place in the world? what?)

2. or like suddenly, i’m being forced to navigate a slightly and increasingly very off version of the world that i’d never been exposed to before where that world is my reality of mood fluctuations that are very confusing but, ultimately, of mild uncertainty. are fluctuations, quantum measured in uncertainty? 

3. oh physics? wherefore art thou? 

4. have these vague, inaccurate references to the plot piqued your interest? please say yes because it’s a great book. even though i told myself i was gonna focus on WOC writers. so much for that. 

5. dammit, ying, smh.

i wonder what my various overblown quotidian fears look like. you know, people have been doing inktober themes, very inVentively visualising various mental illnesses. (give me at least one instance of alliteration per post or give me death)

but im too scared to face mine. 

i’ll just keep eating instead.

happy spoopy season.

-ying

..of course with love but am i even capable of love cries in rolling my eyes at myself can’t even see those damn irises anymore

or should i say

nevermore

[academy-x]

so does anyone want to play dnd 5e with me i have a pretty cool campaign idea with the first session already planned................?

i’ve never gm’ed before so im nervous but determined >:) i feel like i’ve got a pretty good handle on the rules and i’m full of ideas.

im probably looking for 3 - 5 players. if for some reason it turns out 20 people want to play dnd, i’ll probably pick people i know and people who were the first to reply to this post. 

anyone is welcome even if you have never played dnd (or if we have never talked/aren’t mutuals) !!! please play dnd with me !!!

i’m thinking we play for 4 hours or less per session (with a short break in the middle). we play over discord (or skype?) twice a month in the afternoon or evening. i’m from denmark which is gmt+1 so if you’re somewhere hours form that timezone playing together might be difficult but we can probably figure something out!! when we (hopefully) have a group, i will post maybe four dates and times, and together we pick one where everyone has time to play.

i’m aiming for a good mix of roleplaying, combat and exploring the setting (open world style), changing the mix, depending on whatever the party prefers. 

i want to create a chill friendly atmosphere where we can have fun roleplaying, and no one (including me lmao) is afraid of making mistakes. lets have a good time!!

if you want to join, but you’re confused/or overwhelmed by character creation or anything else about the rules, let me know because i can help you with all of the stuff.

if you don’t know anything about dnd, here’s a link to a google drive that has the rulebooks on it. you don’t really need to look at anything but the players handbook. https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B8gEb-UZ2r1cTTRNam1uaW44V2s

a bit about campaign plot and setting:

the campaign starts in medias res with the party being an established group of adventurers following a member of a devil worshipping cult that they suspect of kidnapping the child of a local nobleman. things only get wilder from there, but that’s spoiler territory.

the setting is basically me throwing the normal dungeons and dragons fantasy trope world in the dumpster and setting fire to it then building my own thing out of the ashes. it’s a generic fantasy world with no assumptions about the races and their relationships with each other. also racism, homophobia, transphobia and misogyny doesn’t really exist (at least everything is a lot better than in our world).

i would love it if the players wanted to help build the world. like if a player character is an elf, that player can decide how elf culture works instead of just reading from the book.

anyways feel free to reblog, reply or message me if you’re interested. i really want to do this!!

if you already know you would prefer if we played dnd on wednesdays, or that you can never play before 16.30 on weekdays, please add that.

if you already have an idea of your character, tell me (i’m curious!!).

if anything in this post is confusing/difficult to understand, let me know and i will try explain it better

sorry in advance if i don’t reply to your messages instantly, i have anxiety and get stressed out pretty easily

[sueboohscorner]

#Empire S3 Ep14: Love Is A Smoke Recap & Review

After a week of no Empire, we had our Wednesday night drama back. I must give this episode a (10) rating. Taye Diggs elevated his character. Phylicia Rashad was a bad ass. Taraji P. Henson brings it. Serahyah aka Tiana gives a seductive dance. Terrence Howard portrays Lucious as a real top dog. Lucious wins again. This episode had my full attention. Let's recap.

We get to see Giuliana and Lucious history. We see a flashback of a moment he shared with Giuliana. Lucious was playing the piano and Giuliana was watching. Lucious flashback was interrupted by Cookie. Lucious was listening to a song he wrote for Giuliana. Cookie thought the song was beautiful. Cookie told Lucious that Angelo is preparing to propose to her. Lucious knows Cookie is fooling herself. He gave Cookie his blessing and agreed to fall back from her.  Lucious tells Cookie he needs her help talking to Andre about the Vegas deal. The deal has already been put into motions, but Lucious says Cookie; that Giuliana is a very dangerous woman. Giuliana has a mission of her own whatever it is; I see nothing but more trouble for the Lyons clan. 

Andre, Shine, and Giuliana are having a meeting. Tori suppose to be in this session, but she is not there. Shine doesn't understand why the need Tori's help. However,  Giuliana reminds him that the meeting she has with the head of the Vegas commission is coming. If this deal doesn't prove valuable, Empire gets no gaming license. Tori finally arrives (2) hours late and with attitude. Giuliana introduces herself to Tori. Andre asked Tori to write a song for Nessa. Tori tells them (Andre, Shine, and Giuliana) that Lucious has her busy Inferno.  Giuliana suggests Lucious and Tori do a song together. Andre quickly says hell no. Giuliana tells Andre don't interrupt her while she is speaking. She knows what she is doing. It sounds more like Giuliana has a hidden agenda. It looks like Shine knows it too. Tori agrees to write the song for Nessa. Andre asked Giuliana what the deal with her and his father is. She claimed her and Lucious met before, but it's clear he doesn't remember her. Shine reminds Giuliana that Lucious has nothing to do with this Vegas deal. The deal is with him and Andre. Funny, Giuliana called him Shiney. Lmao. Nia Long is indeed playing this role so well.

Jamaal is in the studio. Angelo visit him about proposing to Cookie. Jamaal gives his blessings and assures Angelo there is no more Lucious and Cookie.  

Andre introduce Giuliana to Cookie. Cookie feels she met Giuliana before but Giuliana says no. Her attention quickly goes to Lucious. However, Cookie has met her before at the hair salon. It wasn't a proper introduction but their path had crossed. Giuliana mentioned Lucious looking good like the first time they met. We get a flashback of Giuliana and Lucious meeting at a casino. They both shared some flirting. Cookie asked did they know each other. Lucious admits they meet along time again. He tells Giuliana he is surprised Raphael let you loose because he normally keeps a tight leash on you. Shocking to Shine, he asked Giuliana about Lucious knowing Raphael. Cookie then asked, "Who is Raphael?" Lucious notice Shine is referring to Raphael in past tense. He answered Cookie's question. He explained Raphael Green was a big corrupt player in Vegas. He explains Giuliana was his wife and his family will not conduct any business with her. Cookie looks at Giuliana saying, "I know we met. She tells Andre they will talk and walks off." Will this Vegas deal happen or not?

Cookie has a dinner with Hakeem, Andre and Jamaal. Hakeem is in his feelings about Cookie marrying Angelo. Jamaal tells Hakeem it isn't about him. He said their mother is happy and over Lucious, that's what matter most. He decided to make the last track of his album about Cookie being happy and having the life her father wanted for her. Cookie asked Andre does she has his blessings. Andre said, "Yes." Andre wants something from his mother and brothers as well. He asked all of them to back his Vegas deal. Andre tries to sale them all by offering a visual album party on Extreme for the gaming commissioner. He said if all goes well, they would have broken in a town that Lucious been afraid to crack. Hakeem, Cookie and Jamaal faces didn't appear too happy about Andre's plan. 

Lucious and Thirsty questioned Shine about Giuliana and Raphael. Shine gets upset with Thirsty. He tells him the only reason he isn't snacking him is out of respect for Lucious. Lucious makes it clear to Shine,  any questions Thirsty asked is because he is asking them. The meeting is interrupted by Becky. Becky tells Lucious he needs to hear Tori in the studio. Shine said Thirstily and Lucious he doesn't  know what happened to Raphael; which is a lie. Lucious asked Shine to please find out what happen to Raphael. Shine already knows. Lucious is listening to Tori singing a song she wrote for Nessa. Becky tells Lucious the song was supposed to be a demo but listen to Tori's vocals. Lucious used this opportunity to burn Nessa. Lucious tells Becky to release this song tonight. Due to Hakeem and Tiana tension with Nessa and Andre, he tells Becky to get their help introducing the song. Shots fired!!!

Anika shows up at Tariq's apartment. She tells him she was careful coming there. Lucious and Cookie are listening to Anika and Tariq while Cookie plays with Bella. Anika is seducing Tariq while wearing a wire. Tariq admits to trying to take Cookie down could get his suspension lifted. Anika was shocked.  Lucious got what he needed to take Tariq down. Working on a case while suspended isn't the best move for Tariq. Angelo called asking Cookie why she wasn't home. She had to leave, but before she leaves, she asked Lucious is he going to make Anika family again. Lucious reply that Anika was never family. He confesses they were just freaky together. Cookie tells Lucious that her and Anika are the only two women that could handle him, but she is off the market. Lucious says, "You are a hard act to follow." Their conversation was interrupted by a phone call from Shine. Shine tells Lucious, he knows what happen to Raphael. However, it's something they need to discuss face to face. Shine is setting Lucious up for a secret meeting. Who was in the back seat of Shine's car? Who did he tell I can let you in? Cookie doesn't trust Shine. She says Lucious," if you need me to roll, just give me a pistol." Lucious doesn't feel Shine is a threat. He tells Cookie," You have a man who is about to propose to you and love you, go home."  Could Lucious be accepting Cookie has moved on? The real question is Cookie ready to go on? When she walked away from Lucious that wasn't a happy look. 

Cookie arrives home to Angelo. Angelo has wine and dinner waiting for Cookie. He asked Cookie to appear with him for a interview on a talk show.  He feels their appearance on the show will show the world that Cookie is with him not Lucious. Cookie thought this was the moment Angelina's about to propose. She played it off and agreed to go on the show. Why is Cookie lying to herself?

Lucious walks into his office only to have a gun pointed to his  head by Giuliana. She tells Lucious she doesn't want to shoot him. The gun was just to get Lucious attention and she has it now. We get a flashback moment of Lucious and Giuliana. Apparently, Lucious fell in love with Giuliana after Cookie went to jail. He was trying to close a ten million dollar deal in Vegas. The day of the deal, he was robbed of his cash and woman by Raphael. But, Lucious didn't know Giuliana was Raphael wife. She was apart of the set up. Lucious told Giuliana her burned alot bridges and crossed alot of friends to get that money. Giuliana tries to plead her case by saying she been through a lot. She explains how Raphael was a sick bastard. She claims Raphael was coming after Lucious again. Lucious doesn't care about her sad love story. He wants his ten million dollars. Giuliana doesn't have the money, so she say. She asked Lucious to sign off on the deal and she can get his money. She claimed to have killed Raphael to protect Lucious. That is some bull crap. She killed him to take over his business for herself. She tells Lucious, I'd he doesn't sign off on the deal; that wouldn't be good with the gaming commissioner for her and Andre. Sadly, Giuliana doesn't know she just gave a snake valuable information.

Anika sleeping and wearing a wire. Thirsty suppose to be listening but he is sleeping. Tariq is kissing all on Anika. She is trying to get this wire off of her before Tariq see it. Lucky for her, he gets a phone call. Anika was able to get up and get the wire off. He tells her everything is almost over. His phone call was a plan to meet another FBI agent. 

Hakeem and Tiana is happy about introducing a new track and screwing over Andre and Nessa at the same time. Tori Ash is introduce on Empire Live Extreme. After the recording, Jamaal walks into the studio. He sees all the alcohol and partying  he tells Tori she doesn't suppose to be around this lifestyle. Tori tells Jamaal she can handle herself. Tori throws her own shots at Jamaal by telling him, he can't handle competition not even from his own father. She walks off with a bottle of alcohol, grab a girl and leaves.  

Tariq walks into the hotel room expecting Agent Sweetwater but gets Lucious. He draws his gun on Lucious. Lucious isn't fazed by  pointed gun being aimed at him.​ He makes it clear that plenty of people knows he is there. "Put your gun down little brother.", Lucious said. Tariq wants to know where is Anika. Lucious drops the bomb on Tariq. "Who my wife? Who recorded every illegal move you was plotting against me.", Lucious told Tariq. Tariq was shock that Anika was wearing a wire. He was so sexually attracted to her that he wasn't focus. Lucious had offered Tariq the chance to be apart of the family but he turned him down. Therefore, Lucious gives Tariq a bag of money and told him to run. Lucious claimed he reported Tariq and the FBI was there to arrest him. He took the money and got out that hotel room. Lucious probably didn't call the FBI. 

Angelo does his interview with Cookie by his side. The question of Cookie and Angelo getting married was asked. Angelo proposed to Cookie on national television.  I only heard an oh my God but I think Angelo took that as a yes. He was placing the ring on her finger. Cookie looked more confuse and uncertain verses looking happy. ​Has Cookie realize Angelo isn't the man for her?​

Giuliana and Andre arrives, at Lavitaus. She tells Andre that Nessa can't messed this up. Andre assures her that Nessa will not mess up. Giuliana makes it clear to Andre that she made big promises for this deal. Andre said, "So did I Giuliana." Seems like Andre and Giuliana needs this deal to be sealed. What will happen if this deal doesn't happen?  Hmmmmmm!! Andre and Giuliana walks in the club to see Lucious talking to this woman. Looks like Lucious is ahead of the game. He has the club decorated and looking like a Vegas showgirl show about to happen. Giuliana asked Andre if he knew anything about this. Andre was clueless. Andre wants to know who was the woman with his father. Giuliana informs him that her name is Charlotte Frost. She is the most powerful person in Vegas. Giuliana approaches Lucious. He introduced Giuliana to Charlotte, who is the head of the gaming commission in Vegas. But, she knew that already. Lucious walks to Andre and tell him the him and Nessa is out. Has Lucious stole this deal from Andre? What will Andre next move be? Charlotte seems very impressed and interesting by what she sees. Lucious gives Giuliana all the credit for the live show. Did Giuliana cross Andre when she secretly had a meeting with Lucious? Giuliana calls Thirsty  to take care of their guest. She tells Lucious, you are full of surprises.  

Cookie and Angelo is in the dressing room. Cookie is upset for Angelo putting her on the spot. He tries to explain Jamaal said she would like that. Cookie starting to feel everything is happening to fast and too soon. She explains to Angelo how her relationship with Lucious killed her father. She has been trying to correct a mistake and be with the man her father wanted her to be with from the start. She tells Angelo, she still has feelings for Lucious and they shared one kissed. Angelo throws his mic and it's still on. Angelo gets do upset. He explains how he jeopardized the integrity of his campaign for her. He explains how he broke the law for her by getting Freda out of jail. He talks about help her with the illegal hand gun because she was on parole. All his secrets he is revealing for everyone to hear. Angelo did alot for Cookie because he loved her. To find out she still love Lucious has broke his heart. Angelo knew deep down Cookie still had feelings for Lucious. He saw what he wanted to see. Ms. Dubois enters the room and tells Angelo his mic is still on. His career has ended before it started. Wow. Angelo tells Cookie that her family is poison and called them all garbage. That was such a low blow. Nobody forced him to do anything he did for Cookie. Andre calling gave Cookie the dismissal she needed. When she left,  Ms. Dubois vowed to take the Lyon clan down and have them begging for a merciful death. I think she need to focus on fixing Angelo problem. The Lyon clan will stick together by any means necessary. Ms. Dubois said, "they are going down." I don't think she can handle that. New enemy for the Lyon family. Omg!!!! 

Lucious introduces Tori to the stage. Shine and Nessa can't believe what is happening. Nessa said, "First she steal my song and now she standing in my spotlight." She wanted to know if Shine knew about it. Shine didn't know and neither did Andre. Lucious was one step ahead of them, thanks to Shine helping Giuliana with that secret meeting. Andre tells Shine to get his men together, they are going to take him out. The him is Lucious. Cookie arrives at the club. She overhears Lucious telling Charlotte he wrote the song Tori singing for Giuliana. Lucious and Giuliana then shares a kiss. Cookie looked so hurt and walking out. Did Cookie make the biggest mistake by being honest with Angelo? Did Cookie once again choose the bad guy over the good guy? Will she try to get Angelo back? We have to stay tune to find out.

CHECK OUT THE SONG LUCIOUS WROTE FOR GIULIANA

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Editor: Lattice Johnson