#a bit of humor

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #1279: An Official Date Night With the Princess of Knothole~ (Sonic)

10:10 p.m. at the Streets of Knothole.........

Shadow: (Looks at the Town Lighting Up Around Him While Sally is Giving him a Ride on her Motorcycle the Whole Time) Hm. The town's looking pretty with those lights on tonight.

Sally: You can thank Nicole for that one. She's says it not only gives it more pizazz for tourists to see, but also help make the streets more alert and safer for bystanders. (Felt Shadow's Arm Hugging Her Waist a Bit More Tighty During the Whole Ride, Before Giggling)

Shadow: (Raises an Eyebrow at Sally Sitting in Front of Him) Find something humorous over there, your highness?

Sally: Just noticing how tightly you're holding onto me is all. (Forms a Seductive Smirk on her Face) You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you like having me ride you around in my Kawasaki~

Shadow: Well, it does feel refreshing to be driven on these ocassions rather than driving the cycle yourself on a regular basis.

Sally: ('Sigh') Yeah. Nothing beats having the breeze soothe your face as you look around at the scenery and enjoying the ride with your certain, handsome somebody taking the wheel~

Shadow: You want me to give you a motorcycle ride on our next date, don't you?

Sally: (Slightly Turns her Head Back to Shadow With a Bright Smile on her Face) Only if it's no trouble for you- (Went Back to Smirking) Handsome~ (Winks at Shadow Before Turning Back to the Road)

Shadow: ('Hmph') I'll manage just fine....(Turns Away While Blushing a Bit) So long as you're satisfied along the way.....

Sally: Hm~ A good looker AND a gentleman all in one?~ Seems I hit the jackpot tonight, don'tcha think?~

Shadow: Perhaps. (Turns Back to Sally) But I believe that you're far more strong and beautiful than every Choas Emerald I laid my eyes upon.

Sally: (Eyes Begins to Widened, Struck in Awe by Shadow's Compliment Before Gently Scratching Her Already Blushed Up Cheek With One Finger) O-O-Oh!~ I-Is that right....Thank you~ (Starts Grumbling Mentally) (Damnit, Shadow!!~) (Then Proceeds to Pout) (Since when did you became so flirty all od a sudden?~)

Shadow: (She doesn't seem to hate the pick-up line completely.) (Grabs his Chin) (Guess that means I'll have to thank Rouge for some of the dating advice she given me so far, after all.) (Sighs While Putting on an Annoyed, Deadpinned Look on his Facs) (There's no guarantee she won't gloat about it afterwards though......)

Sally: Alright. (Steers her Motorcycle Over to Sally's Garage Right Next to her House) We have finally reached our final destination! (Takes a Tiny Remote From Out her Vest's Pocket and Uses It to Automatically Turn On the Garage Door in Front of Her and Shadow) My humblest abode if you will~

Shadow: Hm...(Takes a Look at the Inside of the Now Opened Garage) Your garage looks cleaner than the last time I saw it.

Sally: (Slowly Drives and Approaches her Motorcycle into the Garage) Yeah, I just cleaned up earlier today. It was in desperate need of tidying and rearranging......

Shadow: I see. You did well all things considered.

Sally: Thank you~ It was all in the days work. (Parks her Motorcycle onto It's Very Spot amd Takes The Key Out of It's Ignition Before Hopping Off Ot Along with Shadow as They Take a Stroll to her House) So, how do you about spending the rest of the night with the princess in her very home? (Forms a Teasing Smirk on her Face) You nervous?~

Shadow: ('Hmph') Not in the slightest. I'm more than contempt on spending the rest of my time with you so long as you're fine with it.

Sally: (Smiles Brightly) Oh, trust me, I am more than just fine~ Your company alone has put in a brighter mood these days,believe it or not. (Stops at her Front Door Before Searching For and Then Using her House Key to Open It) Now, my home isn't nearly as fancy as my family's castle but....(Continues Rambling On)

Shadow looks down at the palm of his hand, remembering the advice Rouge and the rest of his found family has given him months ago before taking a deep breath. It was now or nev-

?????: Shadow?

Shadow: Hm? (Immediately Comes Back to Reality Before Looking Up at Sally Staring at Him)

Sally: (Frowns a Bit) You look like something has been bugging you. Are you okay?

Shadow: ('Sigh') Yeah, I'm fine. For the most part honestly. Can we stay out here for a minute? There's something I want to show you.

Sally: Sure. What is- (Raises an Eyebrow in Suspicion) Waaaaaaait a second. I know what it is.

Shadow: (Raises an Eyebrow in a Bit of Confusion) You do?

Sally: (Poits at Shadow) Uh yeah, obviously! You think you were sooo slick in your last visit, but not tonight! I'm ready for you this time, Shadow the Hedgehog! No mercy~ (Puckers Her Lips Up For Shadow to See)

Shadow: (Trying his Hardest Not to Let Out a Single Chuckle) What exactly are you doing right now?

Sally: What does it look like? I want a kiss!~ Right on these royal lips of mines, come on!~ (Went Back to Puckering her Lips Up)

Shadow: (Snickers a Bit) What are you? Cinderella?

Sally: (Comically Glares at Shadow) I am my own princess, thank you very much! (Turns Away While Blushing and Pouting Shyly) Besides, it's not my fault that surprise kiss of yours took me outta the loop there. It nearly took me the entire day to get my knees to stop shaking after that......

Shadow: (Crosses his Arms) Hm. I feel your struggle on that one......

Sally: (Scoffs While Rolling her Eyes) Please. Like you, The Ultimate Lifeform, could ever get bashful over a kiss you indirectly caused.....

Shadow: It's the truth. I've been a flustered mess after I warped myself back home that night. I couldn't fully concentrate on my tasks at work the next day all because of it. ('Sigh') And when I reluctantly told Rouge and the rest our teak about it, she never let me live it down ever since.......

Sally: ('Sigh') She sounds exactly like Bunnie. I love her to death, but my God, I cannot tell you the amount of times she starts poking fun at for having jelly for knees or as she likes to say it- (Does a Southern Cowgirl Accent) "Girl, you better watch yourself or those knees of ypurs are gonna end up shakin' like fresh, green jello on a hot week of July~"

Shadow: (Chuckles a Bit) That accent of yours sounds exactly like her. I'm impressed.

Sally: (Playfully Takes a Bow) I aim to please~ (Smiles Bashfully While Twirling her Hair a Bit) Still, as surprising as that kiss was, I don't hate it at all....I like a lot in fact. S-So, don't be afraid to kiss me anytime you want, okay?

Shadow: (Simply Nodded to Sally's Request) I'll keep that mind going forward, but that's obviously not something I want to show you right now. It's this. (Swiftly Summons Two Demonic Looking Wings on his Back)

Sally: (Eyes Widened Right on Cue at What is Shown in Front of Her) Woah. You can summon those wings this whole time?

Shadow: Yeah. On my own free will surprisingly enough. But that's not all. Last year I was given a DNA after I completed my training exercises back at GUN. Apparently due to my ties with this evil alien tyrant, Black Doom, in the past, I have one third of his DNA, making him my biological father whether I like it or not. ('Groans a Bit in Disgust') And I'm really not a fan of it......

Sally: (Has Been Grabbing her Chin While Examining Shadow's Wings the Entire Time) That....somewhat explains it. (Comes to the Realization Before Giving Shadow a Worried Expression) Was this something you were afriad to tell me this whole time?

Shadow: ('Sighs in Defeat') For the most part. (Turns Away While Rubbing his the Back of his Quill Back and Forth) Might be hard to believe, but I truly enjoy your company thus far. The last thing I want to do is to have any part of me make you the slightest bit uncomfortable. (Suddenly Felt Sally's Hand on his Cheek)

Sally: (Gently Tilts his Face Back to Hers That Has a Soften, Reassuring Smile) Hey, you don't have nothing to worry about, alright? I won't think any differently of you just because you're part alien.

Shadow: Is....that right?

Sally: (Happily Nodded) Mhmm. From the day we first met, I can tell you're not as evil some of your so called peers would say that you are.

Shadow: Yeah, they never like me to begin with, not that I cared either way.

Sally: As you should. Never give anyone who disrespect you, the time or day- (Gives Shadow the Most Sincere Smile Imaginable) And never stop being the person you've shaped yourself up to become. Because I, for one, think you're already great.

Sally leans herself over and gives Shadow a kiss on the lips, causing his wings disappear on their own in an instance

Sally: (Moves Back Before Giggling)

Shadow: What?

Sally: I made you blush~

Shadow: (Felt the Flustered Flare on his Cheeks Before Turning Away Again) Don't be absurd. It was only the temperature got me this way.

Sally: (Giggles Some More Smirking Playfully) Sure it was~ (Grabs Shadow's Hand Before Walking Them Both to her Front Door) Come on. We gotta get ourselves comfy for the Lost in Romamce marathon.

Shadow: (Raises an Eyebrow Confusion as He Follows Sally into her House) Lost in Romance?

Sally: It's this new spanish, romance show Bunnie recommended to me not too long ago. (Walks Bake to the Door and Closes it Behind Her) It's filled to the brim with twists and turns and I haven't even caught myself up just yet. (Turns to See Shadow Looking Around her Living Room) Hey, aren't you gonna sit down or what?

Shadow: (Immediately Comes Back to Reality as He Looks Back at Sally) Oh. Sorry. (Sits Himself Down on the Sofa) I was only looking around for a sec. This is the most normal looking room I've ever seen owned by a princess yet.

Sally: (Makes her Way to the Sofa) Told you my house isn't anything to write home about. (Sits Herself Down Next to Shadow as She Wraps a Bearby Blanket Around the Both of Them) Now hush and get comfy. We're in for once hectic night~ (Turns her TV on with Her Remote)

TV Screen: No descansaré hasta ganar este partido y tu corazón, Carmen, mi Amor!!! ('DING' 'DING')

Shadow: So this all started in a bull fight?

Sally: Yep. (Points Shadow to a the Guy Fighting The Bull Screen) See that guy over there wearing a toupee? That's Don Flamenco: fearless matador by day, Spain's pronoun boxer by night, and a hopeless casanova all around. Regardless of how many ladies has fallen for him, he only has his eyes set on only one beautiful soul-

TV Show: Carmen, mi Amor~

Sally: Yeah, her.

TV Show: ('Kissing Noises') Ohhh~ Don Flamenco~ ('Moans and More Kissing Noises')

Shadow: ('Scoffs') Privacy much?

Sally: (Smiles Sheepishly) Yeaaah, just a heads up: This show could get real hot and spicy in most of these romance scenes. Unapologetically to be in fact.

TV Show: Demuéstrame tu amor, Flamenco!~ ('Moans')

Shadow: ('Sigh') This better not awaken something inside of me......

Sally let's out another giggle as she rest the side of her head onto Shadow's shoulder as they continue to watch the marathon together.

Two and a Half Hours of Binge Watching Later........

TV Screen: (Shows Don Flamenco Growling While Angrily Ripping Fliers Apart with his Bare Hands Before Furiously Screaming Out.....) LITTLE MAAAAAAAACCCC!!!

The screen fades to black with only a "To Be Continues" text being shown before it all goes to the credits rolling altogether.

Sally: Damn. That episode was lot more intense than I thought it would go out. (Turns to Shadow) You think he'll ever get Carmen back?

Shadow: (Shrugs) Who knows? What he- (Suddenly Starts Yawning a Bit) -needs to worry about is channeling all that anger into his rematch against Little Mac.

Sally: (Gently Rubbing the Side of Shadow's Quills) Aw, you getting a little tired there, hon?

Shadow: Only slightly. ('Yawn') It'll only be a matter of time before I actually fall asleep.....

Sally: (Helps Shadow Up From the Sofa Along With Her) Alright, but you're not sleeping on the sofa. I slept there once and trust me, it was not a relax experience at all. (Smiles Softly) Let's go sleep in my room instead, yeah?

Shadow: ('Sigh') If you truly don't mind.

Sally: Of course I don't. (Walks Shadow to Her Room) And no, I won't let you sleep on that cold floor either. Instead, you will have the wonderful privilege to sleeping in bed with me for the rest of the night~

Shadow: Going a little forward tonight, aren't we?

Sally: Hey, you only live once. Or twice if you're lucky- (Suddenly Points at Shadow) Don't look.

Shadow: Hm. (Turns his Head Away From Sally as He Takes his Shoes Off and Place Them by the Leg of the Dresser) In that case, I suppose I'll have to give you my thanks for your hospitality tonight, as well as for our date night. (Gets On and Lays Himself Down on Sally Bed, Still Looking Away) It was.....fun while it lasted.

Sally: Likewise!~ You're the most intriguing hedgehog I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, Shadow, you know that?

Shadow: I've been told that by a few scientists at work already. (Smirks a Bit) It's more flattering if it's from you.

Sally: (Giggles Softly) Well, I'm so honored to hear that, hon~ You can turn around now.

Shadow turns to see Sally laying on the bed next to him wearing a gray tank top and a navy flare pants, all while staring at him seductively..

Sally: So~ How does it feel to be in the same room, much less in a bed with a princess tonight?~ Nervous?~

Shadow: ('Hmph') Not even. I'm just thankful to still be off this week.

Sally: (Let's Out a Satisfied Sounding Groan) ('Ugh') Saaame! Can't tell you how horrendously long and boring those meeting I had to attend to were. But that's whatever at this point. (Hugs Shadow) Cuddling and kissing the Ultimate Lifeform is my top priority now~

Shadow: (Raises an Eyebrow Again) You want another kiss?

Sally: Yeah, if you don't mind- (Smirks at Shadow Seductively as She Gently Places her Hand onti his Cheek Again) Shadow mi Amor~

Shadow: (Starts Blushing Again With Annoyed Glare on his Face) You did that on purpose.

Sally: Shut up, baby, you know you love it~

Shadow: ('Tch') Whatever.

And so, the newly appointed couple begins to kiss one another once again until they eventually falleb asleep in each other's arms.

@meme-boys-blog

@decibelcoatl

@bestpony666

@ma-lemons

[pearlypairings]

Bb! Dealers choice on pairing but I love this idea!

Happy birthday! !

dragging them out to every restaurant or store to get the free drinks or birthday benefits

steve x kali || humor, fluff || 412 words

A/N: ty baby for the freedom to choose, because I went rogue with it and did a lil stali <3 hope you enjoy this experimental beat! it scared me to try this ship so therefore, I committed :P

yesterday's prompt

He had no idea where she was putting this batch of fried wings, smothered in a flood of Mama Delilah’s famous barbecue sauce.   Kali had started the night raiding JJ’s diner for her free birthday app, choosing fries and gravy—her usual late night go-to. She skipped the arcade birthday bonus coins for the record store discount, where she argued with the cashier for 10 minutes over who was better: Misfits or Poison. The snobbish, long-haired cashier found himself speechless as Kali clicked her jaw and clenched her rings tightly over the edge of his counter. Steve held back a laugh. He brandished the vinyl she wanted and slid some cash to the register with a charming, I’m-smoothing-this-over-so-you-don’t-end-up-bruised wink to the guy. With a loving squeeze, he corralled her under his arm, guiding her back to the car with no flashing lights or sirens, as they picked up the pieces of her very compelling, barely-avoided wrath on the unsuspecting idiot. She was delighted to discover that the next two restaurants were happy to provide her with their own special birthday drinks, and threw in a delicious chocolaty dessert to hold her over before the couple moved on to their current spot. They sat in the moodiest booth at Mama Delilah’s grill, where Steve absentmindedly stared at Kali with her basket of wings and sauce smeared on her face.   Kali wiped her face with the crumpled napkin, daring him with her eyes. “What?”  “Nothing,” Steve said, crossing his arms over the table. He leaned to get a better look at her from under the dark overhead lamp. “Having fun?”  She smacked her lips and tipped her head in agreement, mischief twinkling in her eyes.  “Good, I wouldn’t want it any other way.”  Steve grinned wide, admiring the way she stretched to get ready to head out to their next stop. She flashed her old fake ID from Chicago, sticking out her tongue playfully. It wasn’t even her actual birth date, she just wanted a day with all her favorite things for free or at least, for cheap. This was her just letting loose.  She lightly touched the back of his fingers, then casually grabbed his hand from across the table. Warm, she was always so unbelievably warm. “Ready for the pub? I hear there’s free Long Island teas there.” Kali said with a devious grin. She’d seen him drunk off LITs more times than he could actually count while drunk. There was no stopping her now. God, he couldn’t get enough of her.

[hua-cheng-silver-wrath]

“Here, let me show you how.” (why is xl showing hc how to smASH ROCKS W/ UR PECKS such a funny mental image)

Why do they do this again? Ah yes just for fun because Hua Cheng challenged and teased His Highness and his feminine lean figure. Both men were stripped of their shirts, laughing as they crush rocks on their chests. Easy for them to show off one Ghost and another God. How could mortals ever compare that? Some would say that it's unfair that show off -two overpowered beings.

Yet every twist turn and road even when there are a million roads to take Hua Cheng always goes back to Xie Lian. A  million tales before Hua Cheng came to Xie Lian, refusing to die, refusing to give up. Even digging out his own eye. Time is the only cure when love is gone. Bullshit, he would wait 800 years more if he has to. And every road that he had been on It leads him back to Xie Lian.

"Yes, yes Gege I am paying attention, not daydreaming" But how could not his mind travel back to that time when the prince and his family were stripped of their rights. Hiding and trying to survive as fugitives in their own country. That was when Xie Lian did this rock crushing on his chest, a mortal who competed with him almost died. And his two companions who should stay with him till the very end. Like cowards, they are, they ran away. Hua Cheng wanted to punish them too, but Xie Lian never approved it.

"Wait Gege no...gah..." He got flattened by rocks, he got what he asked for. Ignoring the prince is not allowed, yet he teases Xie Lan more by playing dead. "You are cruel to San Lang, I am out of breath.." he was all dramatic with the arm over his eyes. "My poor weak chest.."

[redeemedmillennial]

Since we’re already doing this tech-dystopian thing, can we make it so a profile screen comes up when you look at peeps, so you know if they road rage or would argue with cops, so you don’t ride with them?

[brightdeadthing]

love how gurathin's cringefail bitch energy has translated to the show. he is at once so much more menacing and so much more pathetic. the attempt at a foreboding chair "turn" my god. what a guy

[yourfaveisintersex]

what if I just made my profile picture a male calico cat or something. hurm

[oddfamiliar]

Penny for your thoughts?

[toastytrusty]

guy who froze to death in the arctic in the 1800s, reawakening in 2050, memories fully intact: so what's the arctic like these days

suicidal climate scientist: 't's warm now

guy from the 1800s: what?

suicidal climate scientist: it's warm now

[screwpinecaprice]

Fine. You wanna take care of me? Make sure I'm being taken care of really good, Mister.

[dionysiaproductions]

I'm going to laminate this image and carry it in my pocket to hand my fellow writers when they're being exclusionary:

you must understand how insane I sound when someone in the writers' group goes on a bigoted rant about fan fiction and I reply with, "Have you seen the movie Ratatouille?"

[maroonmused]

i don’t have any analysis to add to the honda odyssey car fucking scene right now but i know it wouldn’t be complete without hugh’s logan’s loud snort laugh right after wade resignedly announces that he’s going to fight him

[suchscary]

I'm having so much fun replaying bl2

[crackersandjuice]

pvpciv is like "wow silly metahumor haha" and then it hits you with "everyone wants to farm evbo so that they can live forever"

like,,,LIKE,,,the visceral gut feeling i got when the guy was like "after a few deaths you won't even notice it happening anymore" or whatever was Intense. what the fuck. it's giving communion but infinitely worse.

i could write something about this. the dehumanization of a person viewed as a god. the fact that people were so quick to go for a violent option because violence is all they've known. my brain is Turning and Churning i am gnawing at this series like a rabid dog.

[crowliphale]

Does he think

[http-tempted]

Don’t let anyone treat you like an option. You’re inevitable, horror beyond comprehension, an omen, a threat, you’re Lovecraftian despair in a human form

[moog-enthusiast]

i lost my tablet pen and drew this on ms paint with my mouse my wrist is in agony holy fuck