#a lot of what i'm working on i can't share publicly but i... will go mad if i don;t talk about it so. preview drawings on patreon as a trea

[haridraws]

teaser pics of stuff I’m working on in 2025!!

I also made this patreon post free, which has a bit more about each project and progress reports of where they’re at 👁️

[bernardsbendystraws]

a brutally honest post from me to you.

to preface, I know this is a corner of social media where we fangirl and write fanfiction. i'm aware that these issues are not as severe as irl problems, but just because it's not that serious doesn't mean that a stress/frustration/sadness just goes away.

so yeah, i do know that these aren't the biggest issues that people are gonna face in life, but it's some i wanna talk about. if you don't wanna hear it, scroll. this is a judgement free space and i'll block anyone who disturbs that.

[ posts not doing well hurts. ]

when you're brand new, it kinda sucks. getting traction is hard. people like familiar names with familiar writing styles and layouts. they know what they're getting into.

its not because you're writing sucks, it's because you're different. maybe you have some weak points, but everyone has those at some point. so no, it's not you or your skills, it's because you're new and people like gravitate towards familiar things.

when you're not new, it can really suck. now you know you can get the readers, but sometimes that's almost worse. you'll feel like there's more pressure, that you'll never be able to top xyz. and it really hurts, especially if you make something that you're so proud of and it doesn't get as much traction as you hoped it would.

its not because it's bad. there's so many factors. sometimes it's because one of the triplets posted, maybe just an active period on tumblr where the algorithm is really in your favor, or maybe it was because the readers were sharing your work behind the scenes because they loved it so much.

it varies and it sucks. there's pressure to 'do better' but then you feel kinda stuck. you can't always do better, but you can always do your best.

either way, it's not truly your fault. there's so many factors that contribute to how well a post performs. your efforts are still something you should be proud of regardless.

[ friends ]

this is something i've really struggled with. it's really difficult. social ques are not my strong suit, I take things as they are presented to me. every friendship is different and not all of them are created equal.

some people want to be friends for interaction as a transaction. some people want to be your friend to make it seem like they have a place on sturniolo tumblr publicly. some people want to be friends to be your friend. there's a difference.

doesn't matter who you are, how many followers, or how many fics you have. not all intentions are genuine, even if they aren't necessarily bad.

[ drama ]

i've been in drama and i've also watched it. i've tried hard to avoid it but sometimes it is necessary to call out. when i was a smaller blog there were a lot of big blogs people loved that were straight up mean.

i can say confidently that i've never been mean to someone right off the bat for no other reason than thinking i was better than them. that has and will never happen because i know exactly what it feels like.

talk to a person in private first. i don't care what it is. ask them questions and have them give you direct answers. if it is something deeply concerning like a predator, that is an instance where it is important to speak up since it directly effects people on here.

it broke my heart when the juno / bri situation happened and i had dozens of minors dming me saying something happened but they were too scared to speak up.

i really hope that never happens again, but if it does, people need to feel safe enough to go to an adult on here. i'm happy i was that person for a lot of people because i needed a person like that when i was a kid.

put mdni on all you want, but please don't isolate minors when they are wanting to feel included. that's puts them at an even more vulnerable position and people know that. draw boundaries but keep all of this in mind.

i can and always will admit when i'm wrong even if i'm still hurt by the other person. apologizing isn't something that says 'oh this person is wrong, that person is right,' it's something that is required for basic human decency and respect. if i hurt someone, i want them to at least have the closure of having an apology.

i can't take back the actions or words, but i can validate their feelings and that's really important since we're all human and have feelings.

agree to disagree if you need to at the end of the day, but leave people alone. exposing people for things that aren't necessary is never gonna make you feel better.

interacting and creating genuine friendships will you give a lot more peace and joy then hate and conflict ever will.

point is, treat others how you want to be treated. we're all humans with feelings and coming here for an escape to fangirl and write. do things to make the community better. do things to make yourself happy and proud in the long term.

i appretiate anyone who has stayed to read this, truly. i don't know how much of a difference it will make but i don't care. i said what i said and i meant it. if this helps one person, that already makes it worth it in my eyes.

i love being apart of this community and i hope we can build it to something we're all proud of and wanting to be apart of at the end of the day.

with love and big tits, rose 🫶🏻

[suevi-if]

Nope, they didn't block me but I wanted to reply to you for lying about the amount. I am anonymous because I'm gay, my sister follows my tumblr and my family is violently homophobic. But good to know you think that I shouldn't be allowed to complain about blatant favoritism if I'm not willing to get beaten/kicked out/die! It's amazing how you people always think that others only use anons because they're cowards instead of even considering the possibility that we might not be safe.

I bet you won't even reply to this, none of you do when I point out why I'm anonymous. Because that would go against your "evil little coward" agenda.

I might be giving you a platform with this.

But also, I'm kind of interested to see where this is going.

I bet you won't even reply to this, none of you do when I point out why I'm anonymous. Because that would go against your "evil little coward" agenda.

If you really think I can't be sympathetic to your situation while tearing you a new one at the same time, you are dead wrong.

I didn't block you and I still haven't, because I wanted to see if you crawled out of the underbrush once more. And here you are! And I'm even replying to you, congrats, you made it! <3

I wanted to reply to you for lying about the amount.

Lying about what amount? What exactly are you referring there?

I'm gay, my sister follows my tumblr and my family is violently homophobic.

I'm sorry that your family is that homophobic. That is, indeed, a shitty situation.

But it doesn't justify bashing creators for the work they supply to you for free.

if I'm not willing to get beaten/kicked out/die

I have a solution for the problem of you not feeling safe enough to harass people without anon: don't fucking harass people just because you are in a crappy situation. It doesn't make you immune to being an asshole to others, and it doesn't absolve you of the consequences of your actions (which, in this case, is me replying).

If you want to start a pissing contest with me about who has it worse, don't. First off, I don't think you can really compare situations like that, but also... I have been through a lot in my life. Even if you were to somehow compare it, you'd lose.

And I'm confident about that.

complain about blatant favoritism

"blantant favoritism" because one out of 500 IFs you could be reading has more female ROs than male ROs? Boy oh boy. You are unwell.

You know what blatant favoritism really is? A black guy not being hired in an IT company. The oldest kid getting a car and education for free from the parents, and the youngest having to work for it. A boy getting praised for having a good grade, and a girl getting no recognition at all.

You are reaching so hard you might dislocate your shoulder, watch out.

It's amazing how you people always think that others only use anons because they're cowards instead of even considering the possibility that we might not be safe.

I don't think so, and I have said so before. If needed, I'll say it again.

A lot of people who use anon are shy, or closeted like you, or just don't like to post things publicly in general. And I don't think these people are cowards. Most of them are in fact lovely people.

The thing is, I think hateful people who use anon, who aim to harass others for the free work they provide to a community, who share a hobby they love with others, those people are little cowards with anger issues. And currently, you are using anon not because of your family, because you don't just ask a lewd question or something harmless. No. Currently, you use anon to harass others because they don't cater to you. Ergo, you are a little shithead that should really learn when to shut the fuck up.

Thanks for your ask! <3

[biancasaidstfu]

I think Nicola and Luke are trying to figure out their balance with continuing to promote Bridgerton but not overshadowing other things they are involved in. Right now for Luke he has to wait to share things about Vianna and White Mars and he's probably working on getting other jobs as Bridgerton is almost finished filming. Nicola as well, yes she has more projects outside of acting but they seem to be trying to keep their characters' interest alive while not going overboard to outshine Luke T and Yerin. Even if they don't directly share Bridgerton stuff they still like Netflix and other fan posts on IG and Nic on TT. So it's not like they totally disengaged. They also speak a lot about it when they're interviewed and to me that excitement they have when you hear them is just as good. So yes we have been getting content from them just not the way it was before and I don't think it will be fair for them to keep their usual way of interacting online when they're subjected to so much hate everyday. Taking off their comments won't help either because people will still tag them or invade their dm.

I'm also seeing discourse about her losing followers and her engagement metrics decreased compared to Luke. While that is true, one thing we have to remember is there are personal and professional reasons for the change, they are aware of it (it's their profiles and they manage it not a team) and they will figure out what they need to do for them. I don't think Nicola's decrease in following is that detrimental to her career even if fans are fed up of seeing her promote Jake and hang out with his crew. There is a shift but it's not like it's so far gone that they can't survive. We miss them but it was inevitable that their social media habits would have changed. It's not only fan hate that changed it but the nature of their rising profiles and whatever else they are associated with. With their upcoming projects they will continue to get more fans, their die hard base will remain but new fans can become die hards as well.

I agree with other anons, your blog is a good balance. I'm not a shipper but I like the different view points I see and I do see that Luke and Nicola really have a special bond that is lovely to when they're together. I think they agreed between themselves that they will keep quiet publicly with their interactions and that works for them. They need to protect their emotional and mental peace.

.

[lair-of-the-white-worm]

Hi! I know you've been asked this before so I apologize, but will you be continuing EOTY with a new chapter soon? I'm very curious! It's one of the most well written dark stories I've seen for OW

Thanks for the compliments, I really do appreciate it. I wish I was in a good enough mood to return to you but. This ask has been sitting in my inbox for a bit now, because I have a lot of anons asking similar questions about my fics and they get overwhelming, but I just wanted to answer this one frankly; most likely No. I will NOT be posting a new Employee of the Year chapter anytime soon. I don't know if I'm ever going to post another chapter period. I want to apologize in advance for how long this response is going to be. But I've been accused of some pretty heinous things lately and I feel beyond sick. A sour taste has been left in my mouth about my writing. Writing was my outlet and I feel horrid about this.

I didn't want to post anything about this publicly. I didn't want to post anything about this to my friends, be it here or in private conversations. I have been trying and trying and trying to let it go, and move on, because I hate arguing on the internet, but I'm at my tipping point. An Oddtumblr user named sei/the/zordokon, as well as a user going by glenglam/324 have been saying and doing some insanely sick shit to my friends. (please, for the love of all that is sacred, do NOT sent them any cruel messages to these two. I know I'm talking to a wall when I say this, but I do not condone or endorse any anonymous harassment or hate mail whatsoever. I am too old for this. Do not send them anything. I want them to leave me alone and this is why I am angry. They cannot keep me and my friends' names out of their mouths, and it's made it's way to people I trust now, so I can't take it anymore).

They have accused me, my beloved partner Roman (this-game-has-themes), as well as my mutuals and dear friends including ghostmoor and several other individuals of condoning and fetishizing rape and incest in the art and fanfictions I create. I already have immense posting apathy. This has put the nail in the coffin for me. I try to post for myself and nobody else, but this has left me sick. I cannot stand rape kinks. I struggle to write the explicit scenes in Employee of the Year because it was mentally taxing. The story is not supposed to be "kinky", and if anyone reading it thought that was what it was then I have to say you've come to the wrong place. The story is meant to be traumatizing. It is meant to be disgusting. It is meant to make you want to toss Molluck down several flights of stairs. The reader is supposed to be made sick by it because I don't want people to like what Molluck is doing in the story. Writing that story had been immensely therapeutic for me for coping with My Own Baggage about Things that aren't much anybody's business but my own. But I didn't make that clear enough it would seem. So now the entire story leaves the sourest taste in my mouth and I can't stand to look at it, knowing that what people have been taking from it is that "I get off to rape".

I cannot stand incest. It makes me sick. It makes me vomit. It is one of the most sensitive subjects for me and I can only stomach it when it's being depicted in a way that demonizes it. However, what Glenglam and Sei have been doing lately is accusing my Abe & Alf content of being incestuous. Which makes me feel rotten to my core, that anyone under the sun could look at my works of Abe and Alf and think that was what I was trying to do. They have been telling strangers I support incest. My art was so kindly shared by OWI themselves on Twitter and other socials, and they were genuinley telling people it was fucking incest.

I don't have the energy to post all the horrid, vile, insulting, sickening shit that Sei and Glenglam have said about me and my friends to others. I realize now that a lot of the cruel messages I was receiving a bit ago may have been coming from them. It makes me sad. It makes me sick. I haven't even gotten into all the transphobia coming from them, but I don't want to post about it because talking about it makes me find my own body disgusting. I should have gotten the hint when I first shared my trans headcanons in front of Sei's mun, and she instantly shut them down. But that's old hat.

I don't want to post anything anymore. Because I considered them good acquaintances. Even though we were not friends. I would have never posted anything about them, to anyone, had they just left it all alone. They don't like me, they don't like my friends and they don't have to like me. Or my friends. But spewing this vitriol about me to other people in the fandom, making posts about me and my friends and then deleting them when word gets to us, ACCUSING ME AND MY FRIENDS OF CONDONING INCEST AND RAPE BECAUSE THEY WANT PEOPLE TO SHUN US, I can't stand it.

I haven't shared this much fanfiction and artwork in ages. Oddworld was such a wonderful outlet for me and it still is. But if these are the sorts of horrid things people in this fandom are going to accuse me of, I hesitate to share content further. I had no desire to post anything about Glen or talk about her to anyone else until now. I had known of Sei for years. I thought her a wonderful, wonderful artist. Just because we were not friends and she made me uncomfortable on many occasions did not mean that I wanted to fight her, insult her, or anything of the sort. I only gave her criticism when it was asked of me. I was direct with her when I needed to be. We did not click as friends. It did not bother me that we did not click as friends. But this is BEYOND the last straw.

Since this is quite literally the only post I will be making on this matter;

Sei and Glen, if you're reading this, fuck you both to hell. I am done holding my tongue. I am done giving you both the benefit of the doubt. Fuck you for the disgusting shit you've accused me and my friends of. Keep my name out of your fucking mouthes, keep my friends names out of your fucking mouthes. You don't know anything about me, who I am, why I write, you don't know anything about it. You both had no respect for me as a trans person, you currently have no respect for me or my friends as individuals, and you have absolutely fucking destroyed the last shred of respect I had for either of you, as well as any motivation I had to post my content, because I will forever feel sick to my stomach every time I see you in the tags, every time I see you interact with my friends acting like you're innocent, every time I hear your name or see your art I will be reminded of the ROTTEN shit you have done and said to me and about me and my dear friends. When I met you, you were artists I looked up to and respected. After getting to know you, I wish I never fucking did.

This fandom is small. So it's hard to keep these things contained. It's hard for me to avoid these things. I'm still fairly new here, and I am so upset that my welcome into this fandom has been turned on it's backside by the last persons I thought would do such a thing. And I feel horrible even posting this because I know they have friends who are none the wiser to this situation who are following me and I am so, so so incredibly sorry. But I am at my boiling point.

Anyways. Posting will be slow from now on. This whole debacle has made me feel disgusted to my core. I want to privatize all of my Abe and Alf art as well as all of my fanfiction, knowing that people are running around telling people these soul crushing fibs.

[genericpuff]

Public service reminder: I love y'all for your support in what I do here, but (a very gentle but) I want to make it clear that this isn't the way-

Names are censored for obv privacy reasons and I don't want to put any of my own readers on blast because I trust comments like these are made with good intention. I appreciate y'all for loving what I do here and putting it out there for others to read along, but I don't do it for this. As much as Rekindled is indeed a parody redraw of LO that's trying to "fix" a lot of the original comic's issues, at the end of the day it's still just a Tumblr project that I'm doing here for fun and I don't want to see it used as ammunition in the comments sections dedicated specifically to LO (for clarification, this was in the @webtoonofficial announcement post for LO winning its third Eisner).

Whether or not it's "better" than LO is subjective and irrelevant. I obviously can't pretend like I didn't have my own motivations to "fix" what I felt was broken, but the act of "fixing" was for those of us who saw it as broken, not for those who love LO as is.

I also can't reasonably ask anyone to keep their opinions about Rekindled to themselves, it's a piece of work that is publicly available and therefore that will put it under the lens of public opinion, but from me to you, this ain't the way. I host it on Tumblr and DH precisely to keep it out of the main view of the fans/stans, because this work isn't for them, it's for all of you who share my disappointment in the original series. I want to be able to run this space free of any extreme fandom discourse - this is also why you won't see me using general LO tags on Tumblr/IG - but the only way that can happen is if we all play nice and don't let the heat of the discourse get to us. Rest assured, I will always stand by my work and what I do here because I love it and have found my lost joy in what LO used to mean to me through it as well as a community of amazing writers and creators... but prevention is better than the cure and I don't want any of that heat getting thrown back my way through weaponizing of my work with or without my knowing in the first place.

Am I pissed about the comic's third win? Absolutely. And as much as I feel it isn't worth anyone's time or energy to get into bickering matches with the stans in these comment sections, those opinions regarding the comic pre-exist my participation in this fandom and would have, one way or another, hit that boiling point regardless (and it's been wild to watch that comment section go down, I can't lie lmao) But this is not the way. Rekindled is - to me, and hopefully to you, too - a reclaiming of the love and passion people like myself used to have for LO, and a celebration of Greek myth and transformative fiction as a genre, above everything else it stands for or could be interpreted as. It's not a weapon meant to be used in discourse. Let's please do our best to be mindful of that so we can keep having fun in this special little space we've carved for ourselves and not make ourselves into the monsters we're often made out to be just for critically discussing and transforming a piece of media that, in spite of all its flaws, brought us together in the way that it did. Let's keep being the best for each other instead of turning ourselves into the worst over others within this massive fandom who we were never going to agree with in the first place.

Thank you all, much love 💖 Do no harm, take no shit ✊️

[lukolabrainrot]

I am going to talk about some of my thoughts about why I believe N's behavior changed as the PR tour progressed. I am also going to talk about my thoughts on if L&N ever got "jiggy with it" 😂 I'll try to get to my thoughts on Toronto and Ireland tomorrow.

Before I start though, I want to mention that I am trying to come to my theories/opinions based off of things I have been able to observe, and verified information online. Obviously though, I don't actually know any of these people irl, so I am never going to understand the full story of what is going on between L/N. All of this is just my thoughts and theories on what is going on based on what has been put out to the public. There has been a lot of speculation online about everything, but I am going to try and not give that information too much weight when coming to my conclusions here. I am interested in hearing everyone's thoughts/opinions though, since this story has a lot of moving parts. Just wanted to put this disclaimer out before moving forward with more of my thoughts/theories.

Alright, on to the main course (this is going to be a LONG post btw)...

N on the PR Tour

I want to start off with the following that we know to be fact about N:

She is INCREDIBLY private about her personal life, especially her dating/romantic life (the same isn't/hasn't really been true about L). In fact, I don't believe N has ever publicly come out as being in a relationship with anyone since she entered the entertainment industry/been in the public eye (although I can't 100% confirm this, so please let me know if there are any articles/or something on her SM where she has publicly confirmed she was in a relationship at some point)

She is VERY online, and very careful about controlling her public narrative

She is a naturally touchy and affectionate person with people, but she seems to hold her true feelings a lot closer to her heart, and it seems to me, that she is kind of "on" in public (which is actually an important skillset to have as someone in the entertainment industry because you really need to know how to stay in control of your public narrative--your fans are your livelihood)

She LOVES photography/taking photos (it is one of her love languages I believe)

Now as I mentioned, L was always a lot more of an open book on the PR tour about his feelings for N (refer to my post here). N seemed to be a lot more reserved/gaurded during the tour when it first started in January, but everything shifted in like April when the world tour started. Below are my thoughts:

N started to become a LOT more obvious through her nonverbal cues about her genuine feelings for L as the tour unfolded. I will say that I believe PART of it probably had to do with getting a little "lost in the sauce" with the energy of the tour. However, I think the larger factor was that L & N were pushed together for many months (in close quarters), and were therefore forced to have conversations about their feelings for each other that I think they had been tiptoeing around for quite a while. From what we then saw from like the middle of Italy (I'm an Italy truther), there was more of a confidence, security, and contentment in how they interacted with each other that signaled to me feelings were shared and reciprocated.

Like I mentioned, she is a PR queen and very, very private about this part of her life. Therefore, why would she decide to be so obvious about her feelings on such a public stage when she knows people analyze everything? Well... I believe this is her way of publicly acknowledging their romantic feelings for each other without ACTUALLY publicly acknowledging anything more than "work besties" is going on with them. Which totally makes sense when you think about it because 1) The fandom would LOSE IT rn 2) That would put a LOT of public pressure on them, and I think these feelings they have shared with each other are very new (but had been brewing for a long time), and I don't think they are confident enough to go public. There is also, of course, the A of the whole situation, which L needs to figure out how he wants to move forward with that. TLDR, the situation is very messy, and I think there is a lot that L/N need to process in private regarding each other out of the public eye. I am pretty confident though that this tour put them in a situation to confront, clarify, and establish what their romantic feelings are for each other outside of the show (and they were reciprocated), and they are taking the space right now to explore that privately.    

Lastly, because I really like analyzing photos and N loves taking pictures, let's talk about those "boyfriend pics" of L she posted since the world tour started. Yes, she was promoting the show, but a lot of those pictures (especially recently) have a very specific vibe. She wants the world to see him the way she sees him. She loves that man, clear and simple. He shines around her, and she knows that. I think it’s also especially telling that she posted the most recent boyfriend pic of her last day of filming (which was the most obvious one in my opinion) now that A is publicly connected to L. It was a statement in my opinion, that regardless of all the drama unfolding, her and L have a really deep and meaningful connection that is special to her. I think it also served as a message that we don’t know the full story, which I think is a positive thing for us Lukola fans. Now I can’t predict the future with these two, but I am fairly certain we wouldn’t have been seeing the type of behavior we saw from them on the PR tour, and the types of photos she has been posting of him lately, if they weren’t confident in moving forward with their romantic relationship in the near future (especially since A has been in the picture for quite some time). I think these pics serve as another crumb that they are a little more than just work besties.

One last note, I think the reason our PR queen started slipping up and changing her answers to certain questions on the tour is because SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY WITH HIM. This can be a whole separate post at some point if people are interested, but I am almost certain from everything I have observed regarding N, that she is quite jaded when it comes to finding a romantic partner, and has been hurt in romantic relationships in the past.  I feel like L is the more sweet, hopeless romantic between the two. I think he allowed her to heal some of her relationship wounds. I think there is something about L and the experiences they’ve shared together that has reignited something within N to make her feel more hopeful about having a deep romantic connection while she can still be very independent and successful in her field. And I think it specifically has something to do with who L is when he is with her and how he treats her. I get the impression he has really altered the way she sees certain things related to romantic relationships. My whole point is that I think they both know what they have, and they know that if they can get on the same page, this relationship would get serious pretty quickly. Therefore, even though N is really private with this part of her life, for L, I think she would publicly acknowledge their relationship, but only when/if they are able to get to a point where they feel confident enough that their relationship would be able to withstand the pressures from the public. They just aren't there currently because of all the other confounding factors, but I don't think that necessarily signals where they will be in like 6 to 8 months imo...

Have L/N ever gotten freaky deaky irl?

From before the PR tour, I just don't have enough information to confidently say yes or no. A lot of people have different opinions on this, and some people think they casually dated near the end of filming season 3/sometime last year (but we don't have any proof of that). This is what I will say:

N still follows J (and vice versa I believe, please lmk if I'm wrong?), so I don't think there is any bad blood there. This makes me pretty certain that L/N never acted on any physical feelings for each other until after that relationship was completely over. I do think though that L/N have had a spark for a while (and tbh, I think L has kind of had a thing for N since they met, and his feelings for her have always been stronger). Therefore, this likely played a part in him emotionally distancing from his relationship with J when season 3 started filming, but at the end of the day, we will never know the specicifics of why they decided to part ways. My guess is that there were a lot of reasons that relationship did not end up working out considering how serious that relationship was.

Considering how WILD L/N's sexual chemistry is, it wouldn't surprise me if they hooked up at some point before the PR tour. But considering L was on Raya by February/March 2023 (from my understanding?), and the fact that N was SUPER busy last year and traveling a bunch, I just don't think there was any time for them to have anything more than something super casual/no commitment (if anything). Even if they did maybe hook up some, I don't think they really directly addressed the depth of their feelings for each other, which is why we saw all that behavior between them on the tour, because I don't think any clear boundaries had been put up and their feelings came flooding back.

Now I feel a lot more confident that somethingggg intimate happened at least once between them on the PR tour. Here are my theories:

I don't think things were great between them at the beginning of the tour (like January) because feelings I think started popping up again for these two during the reshoots in December 2023, and then the NYE kiss comes out, and N and L are feeling disconnected and aren't really on the same page about the tour.

I think they had some conversations in private, because by the VDay event, they seemed a lot more on the same page (and L was giving N those total heart eyes). The extra layer is that (I believe?) A accompanied L to the city the event was in (I think NYC?), but even though A was staying with him, L was STILL looking at N like THAT during the event (which I think speaks VOLUMES).

I think though there were a lot of things they still weren't talking about, and everything came to a head when they got to Italy, which is why the vibes were off at first and it seemed like there was tension between them. This also occurred soon after the Instyle stunt, so I feel like N probably had some feelingssss about that.

I have recently been converted to an Italy truther, so I believe that Italy was where L/N finally addressed/readressed some of their feelings for each other, and N was trying to get some clarity on WTH was going on with A, and making sure it wasn't going to mess anything up with the tour. But I think they "kissed and made up" 😉 and got back on the same page. Which is why there was the shift in Italy, and why we saw what we saw for the rest of the tour.

Not sure exactly what happened of course, but I get the feeling something physical happened after they started having some BIG conversations about each other that they had needed to have for a long time (and I think they continued to have these conversations with each other as the tour progressed). Let's also remember that these are two very non-confrontational people, so I feel like there must have been a LOT of pent up feelings/emotions for them to publicly show that they weren't super happy with each other/beefing during the beginning of Italy.

I also definitely think they physically acted on their feelings in Brazil (like they just had the "glow" imo 😂). And the eff me eyes, c'mon. Like Brazil continually reminded me of that New Girl quote "The stench of filth and lust is all over this room." It just seemed pretty obvious to me 😂 Especially considering the events that transpired right after that with A, and between L/N for the rest of the tour.

Lastly, I know a lot of people believe that L/N didn't physically act on their feelings because the tension would go away. However, I actually think it's a good sign that tension is still there, because I think it shows that there is a pretty deep connection between these two, and they are still feeling that pull/sexual energy after having sex. They kind of remind me of like two friends in a friend group who just admitted their true feelings for each other but aren't ready to go public, but are also having crazy good sex, so they are super obvious and can't really hide it when they are together LOL Regardless if they had ever physically acted on their feelings before the tour, I think these experiences (IF they did indeed occur), helped L/N get clarity if their strong feelings and attraction for each other went past the show and their characters. And I personally think they got that clarity 😉

Wowww okay that turned into an essay LOL, but I think the TLDR is that the situation seems very complicated right now, and I think there is a lot that L/N are needing to figure out in private. But I don't think that negates or invalidates what we saw between them on the PR tour, or that they were "faking" their feelings. Human beings are messy and imperfect, and that is okay. I think the part that still really confuses me is the whole A of the situation, because I just can't wrap my head around it. I would love to hear other people's opinions though on how she factors into all this, so if you have theories/questions you would like to add to that discussion, drop them in my asks. Because I have thoughtssss 😂

[stychu-stych]

I know that by definition we will probably never get anything out of the "not meant for social media" narilamb pile, but that doesn't mean Im not deadly curious about it, like I want to know so bad it makes me look stupid

Plus I'll forever wander how bad it is. Is it just too embarrassing to share? Is it 'mildly bad and insane, but not enough to not have at least 10 to 20 different fics on AO3 with those same hcs' bad? Is it 'so bad that you CAN'T find it on AO3 of all places' bad? Secret kink you don't want to share with the internet (very valid tbh)? Secret third (technically fifth) thing??? I want to knooooow /hj /sillygoofy

Dhdhdhhd that post is kinda old, I put it on my tumblr when I was more afraid of posting things on the internet. Especially when a lot of people started to follow me in a very short period of time. Everytime I posted something more gore-ish or suggestive I've got reported and sometimes my posts were deleted (mostly on tiktok and instagram). I still don't know if that was just one person doing that or bunch of them, or I was some algorithm lottery winner djdbhdh Maybe people expected something different looking at my artstyle (I know it can be described as "cute") and they were mad when I started posting something else? Idk idc really but it was pain in the ass

I also heard a couple of times from not anonymous people that if I create something about toxic relationships (arts, headcanons etc.) that means I support this kind of behavior. Or "romanticize" is a better word. Some of them changed their mind and apologized so we're good now but still I've received so many of comments like this that I started to carefully select what I want to put on the internet and what I want to put into the closet

But it's better now, I'm not that scared of social media like I used to be, I'm also on therapy and it's going great (not only but mostly because of my growing visibility on social media that was scary for me at that time. Never really talked about that with anyone outside my close friends, this is the first time I'm talking about it publicly. Also don't worry, I'm getting better now 💖)

My headcanons are mostly about narilamb relationship that is super toxic, I'm just really into psychology, emotions and why people behave in some certain way. About hurting each other, being jealous, manipulating and controlling. I just like to analyze why brain can work like that and what has to happen for someone to make them act like that. And I like to put all of that in fictional characters

So yeah, now I think that my headcanons aren't that bad, people are just assholes jdbdhdh I'll probably post more about my Narilamb relationship, I just need to find some straight to write it *sob* And I'm not the strongest soldier if we talk about writing, especially in english sjdhdh but I'll try my best 💪

[kalinara]

So there's this interpretation that I have, I'm not sure how common it is, that when it comes to the X-Dream, the person who tends to embody it the most is Scott Summers, rather than Charles Xavier.

For once, this isn't meant to be a Charles Xavier hate post. Because I do think the mutant dream is important. And while I definitely have my share of "Magneto was Right" moments, especially with the world as it is right now, I do think that the dream of co-existence is, at heart, a good one.

Mutants and humans are not a separate species. While the "mutant gene" has a clear genetic component, something that's come up more and more often. The vast majority of mutants are born in human families. They have human lives. They belong to human countries. They have human racial identities and sexualities. They belong to human religions and subcultures. I don't think it's wrong to want acceptance, even given everything stacked against them.

Magneto's right. Sometimes. But Charles Xavier isn't wrong.

That said though, I don't think Charles himself really serves as an example of the Dream. For one thing, for the vast majority of X-Men canon history, Charles Xavier kept his mutation a secret. To the broader Marvel world, Professor Charles Xavier was just a very mutant-friendly rich, brilliant baseline human guy.

I'm not saying this as a criticism to Charles. I think that pretending to be a baseline human for so long is what allowed him to be able to raise, train and protect mutants in relative safety. It does, however, mean that he isn't an example of what he preaches.

Scott Summers, on the other hand...

One element from the original X-Men run that gets a bit lost nowadays, I think, is that (since it's before Hank turned blue), the two characters who really didn't pass as humans were Scott and Warren.

Don't get me wrong, they don't have the same difficulty as Kurt or Beak or Glob Herman. They have ways to mask as human in a pinch. But it doesn't take much to blow their cover. Warren can strap down his wings, but he can't get rid of them. And Scott's glasses fall off so often that it became his iconic image in the animated show's opening theme.

So that means, ultimately, that Scott really doesn't have a choice about it. He's pretty much got to live publicly as a mutant - with all that entails.

The funny thing about Xavier's Dream, I've always thought, is the best examples of it actually working aren't actually the X-Men. Something about the fact of a uniformed child army appearing out of nowhere to fight bad guys and then disappear after proving they can cause massive amounts of damage (...mostly Scott, admittedly, but sometimes Bobby too) tends to make people more freaked out rather than less.

Whereas Pietro and Wanda lived fairly openly as mutants in the Avengers and were actually pretty beloved. And during their respective stints on the Avengers, Hank, Storm, even LOGAN, tend to get positive press and reception. A lot of that, I suspect, is because the Avengers is a different kind of entity and folks didn't so much accept those mutant characters as just not think of them AS mutants. But it does indicate both that Xavier's onto something with positioning his students as heroes, and fucking up the execution somehow.

It does get interesting to see how other teams and characters tackle the idea. The Original X-Factor concept was fascinating. An obviously absurd and terrible idea that was as counterproductive as it was well-meaning, but also fascinating. Secretly training mutants while publicly acting like "mutant hunters".

Most of the time though, the X-Men basically followed the Xavier formula, even when Xavier was in space or otherwise on the outs. But it gets kind of interesting in the mid 00s, when we go through that spat of Xavier's the Worst (which I enjoy but also think gets a little over the top even for my Xavier-hating taste.) When he gets booted off and Scott (and Emma, but she's more in charge of the school side of things) takes over completely, we see a shift.

Whedon's Astonishing X-Men is really interesting in this context. I've seen folks dismiss it as some kind of "conservative" attempt to go back to a status quo that never really existed. (And honestly, I wish we'd stop calling story arcs that we don't like "conservative". It's always a story about a oppressed minority trying to exist in a world that despises them, even if we don't necessarily agree with the way they do it.) I don't see it that way. Whedon's X-Men is specifically presented as a strategic attempt, by Cyclops, to present a specific superheroic face to the world.

It's basically the same as the later X-Tinction Team, but in the opposite direction. And this isn't me putting my meta hat on, this is expressly the reason given for the team in the first couple of issues.

It does get a little funny then that half the run involves internal X-Men issues and then adventures on another planet, but there you go.

Then of course, we get the Decimation. We get the move to San Francisco, where, even then, Scott Summers's primary strategy is to make friends with the Mayor and try to have them live openly as part of the community. And it seems to even be working, to an extent, until Civil War and Dark Reign put the kibosh on that. Then we get Utopia, and the mutants under attack.

We do tend to lose the co-existence thread at this point, understandably. Though you could make the argument that Logan's team going back to the Mansion was an attempt to return to the Xavier-style status quo. While Scott's X-Tinction team was meant as a return to the Astonishing style superhero team, only this time scary and a clear lightning rod distraction from the Mansion folks.

Post AvX gets interesting, because you have Logan's team openly working with the Avengers. Scott's team is of course hunted, but somehow the guy still manages to be on every college dorm wall and get a cover of Rolling Stone. The Mutant Revolution at this point is oddly friendlier than Utopia when you get right down to it, and more about trying to set up a place where OTHER mutants get to live in their homes, with their own lives, even if Scott and his team get to live in a Weapon X facility. Even when he abandons the Dream, he really doesn't.

As much as I dislike Death of X and Inhumans vs. X-Men, the Xavier-hater in me gets unpleasantly smug by the idea that the "X" in Death of X does NOT refer to Xavier. Because Xavier is the dreamer, not the dream.

(That may also be why people tend to react really badly when Scott falls off his pedestal. Milquetoast Revolutionary Scott didn't really say anything all that different from his Claremont era characterization, but they act like he's a monster because his edgelord presentation is not the Dream they signed on for.)

It does make Krakoa even more interesting though, because we've got Xavier back. He's back being the architect and the Dreamer. But Krakoa is, when you think about it, the complete antithesis of his own dream!

There are definite good parts to it. Safety, resurrection, the chance for mutants to develop their own individual culture and identity. But it's not an idea that works for everyone. Not everyone WANTS to be separate from human society. And we see that, I think, in Scott Summers.

The Summer House is the gift that keeps on giving in terms of sparking meta. This time though, I think about its location. And where it is NOT. It's cool, it's fancy, it's built with Krakoan plant technology on the moon. But it's not on Krakoa itself, and the more I think about it, the more I think that's significant. During a time that the Council wouldn't even let Scott bring the Champions - superhero CHILDREN to Krakoa for safety, he's having his very human dad for family visits. (I wonder, if Kitty and the Marauders weren't available, would a space ship have been plan B?)

Later, we have the X-Men back in the Treehouse in the middle of New York City, helping the mayor and engaging in all kinds of outreach. Xavier's got his Camelot, so Scott gets to indulge in his own version of the Dream once more.

It's interesting actually, how the From the Ashes version seems to be an interesting amalgamation of vision. In many ways, it's like post-Schism Utopia or even the Revolutionary era - a repurposed base that once belonged to the enemy. A stripped down team focused on tactics and missions. No students at all, this time, except maybe the new mutants they've accumulated accidently.

(I realize it's funny to call the Adjectiveless Team "stripped down" when it's probably got the biggest cast of the X-books so far. But it definitely feels like Rogue's team is the catch all, for any former X-Men to just drift in and out as the writers see fit, while Emma's is basically Generation X, anew. It definitely reads like each member of the Adjectiveless team was chosen for a purpose)

At the same time though, they're not as isolated as Utopia. They're working with the locals. I know some folks were pretty bitter about the idea of Scott courting the local police chief, and I get that, but I also think it's completely in character. They're making a presence for themselves in the town rather than isolated from it, and it'll be interesting to see how that all works together.

[hauntedparaclassics]

TikToker Spills On Zak Bagans Amid Holly Madison Cheating Rumors

Melanie VanDerveer - Thu, May 15, 2025

It didn’t take long after former Playboy model Holly Madison shared her story for someone else to come forward with their own experience involving Zak Bagans, who’s now facing multiple accusations of cheating during their years-long relationship.

The "Ghost Adventures" host is being accused of cheating on Madison during their relationship by multiple women. And while many have come forth to Madison, one recently shared her story publicly on TikTok.

Multiple Women Reached Out To Holly Madison About Zak Bagans Cheating

The "lore" goes deep with this saga. First of all, who cheats on Holly Madison? Well, it appears the answer to that is Zak Bagans.

After finding out that he cheated, Madison kept count on how many women came forward to say they were with Bagans during the time she was in a relationship with the Vegas-based "Ghost Adventures" host. Last count was 10 women!

Madison took to TikTok in the hopes of getting more of the story. "My fantasy 'I'm bored' scenario would be all the girls my most recent ex cheated with filling me in. I need the lore."

Many people dropped into the comments to share their shock and things they've seen or heard.

"Girl they keep posting him on the tea app lots of girls have stories about him they’re saying he brings them to his museum and turns off all the lights to see if the spirits approve of them," one person wrote. Another added, "The way he never acknowledged that relationship publicly gave him the ability to deny its existence to other women. It upsets me for you Holly. You deserve better." 

A few days after Madison shared this on TikTok, a woman shared her own personal story with Bagans in a detailed video.

Phantomette On TikTok Shared Her Story About Dating Zak Bagans

Here's some of the "lore" Madison was hoping would find her.

In a video shared by TikToker @phantomette on Wednesday, viewers learn a little more about how Bagans worked when it came to finding women.

"Holly and Zak dated for years and clearly he was severely disloyal to her. Within the last few days, she's received numerous stories that I can't imagine reading about somebody that I thought I knew, but I'm just here to tell you what I can of my story to confirm what Holly's saying is in fact true," she said.

"I was seeing Zak for a short period of time starting in early 2023. I had posted an EVP that I captured at the 'Haunted Museum' in Las Vegas, which is where I live, and Zak responded to my story. Being in the paranormal world myself, I was surprised he actually responded and was quite skeptical at first."

But then Bagans began sending her voice messages and she quickly realized it was actually him.

Zak Bagans Invited Her To Meet Him At The Museum

When Bagans asked her to meet him at the museum, she decided to go, because "what paranormal enthusiast would turn down that opportunity?"

"He told me to meet him over at the black house next to the museum.  On my end, I did not think this was gonna be a date-like scenario," she continued. "When I showed up, I shook his hand like it was a business meeting. But as the night went on, that changed."

She said there was a "level of deception" and gave the example that he made a comment about "how crazy it was that we were hanging out, because he never hangs out with people and this was super out of the ordinary for him." That was a red flag waving in the air for her.

"This set the precedence that there was no other girls on his radar and that I was special," she said. "But boy was I wrong."

Phantomette Said He Was Officially Dating Holly Madison At This Time

Phantomette and Madison compared timelines and found that Madison was actually with Bagans the same day that she met him at the black house next to the museum.

"Now, add in another nine confirmed girls, and by confirmed, I mean with solid receipts, including texts from his number, parking passes to his neighborhood, pictures inside his house, and now we have ourselves a little problem," she continued.

"There's also numerous girls claiming to have matched with him on dating apps and we're not even counting those."

She said that she wasn't aware that Bagans was dating Madison when they met, but after some time, she began having suspicions that Madison was still in the picture.

"When I brought up my suspicion to Zak, he started freaking out and became irate on the phone. He denied that it was true and told me that I needed to mind my own business. So I did, but I kept an eye out for other signs as we continued on, and again, I began to see more red flags, so that's when I cut it off."

Without any "tangible evidence," she didn't feel it would be best to reach out to Madison, and with her platform being so large, she might not see a message anyway.

She said there's a lot going on "behind the scenes" and she has more details that she hopes to be able to share publicly soon enough.

Viewers Shared Their Thoughts In The Comment Section

And while Phantomette was sharing her story, the count was rising. On Thursday afternoon, Madison shared an Instagram Story to announce that there are now 10 women!

Viewers of Phantomette's video dropped into the comment section to share their thoughts about the unfortunate situation.

Nick Groff, who was once part of "Ghost Adventures," wrote in the comments, "That’s just scratching the surface. He’s been doing this for years. It’s much darker… I’ve tried to warn people for a long time and I know firsthand experiences of darker things he’s done."

One viewer thanked her for speaking her truth, "Thanks for being brave to speak up, especially as you’re in the paranormal world and he’s such a figure. It can be so scary to speak up against the bullies in our communities."

Another wrote, "Demons aren’t real. People with dark intentions & secrets are."

And Madison also dropped into the comments to share some pink hearts.

Zak Bagans' Online Dating Profile

Las Vegas women on dating apps, beware!

Someone sent Madison a screenshot of Bagans online dating profile and she shared it on TikTok to warn others and further prove that the cheating allegations are true.

"You guys, men will lie about anything on dating apps. And I know this isn't exactly breaking news, but I've been broke up with a guy for a little bit but I'm only just now finding out that over the six years we were together, he cheated on me with like 10 people, at least that's where the count is right now," she said. "I'm sure there's probably so many more."

She said she knew he was on dating apps and that "was a big part of the reason we broke up in the first place," but is just now finding out the specifics on his cheating.

She also shared a follow up video to show his profile so viewers can read it.

Wondering if more women will surface? We are, too! Stay tuned...

Source: Yahoo Entertainment

[annabelle--cane]

hokay, just finished bingeing through the first season of murray mysteries, here are my #thoughts:

-> moving the narrative chunks around and starting with the equivalent of mina's journal without jonathan's castle segment does really interesting things to the mystery and the release of information. even though I obviously know what's going on it feels like I only have the same amount of information as mina so the events are a lot more unnerving, particularly the part where mina sees lucy being fed on by dracula. it feels intensely What The Fuck Is Happening Right Now.

-> this is pretty clearly a first-time passion project so the production values vary, I'm not going to hold that against it, and sometimes that marries extremely well with the frame of this being mina's low-key personal show. she and lucy have both the most convincing performances and the most convincing relationship, they feel like two friends just chatting about whatever in their own home, and that lack of polish makes me buy into the idea that these are real people which then makes it a lot more emotionally intense when they start to go through the horrors. nail-biting trembling sitting there with my headphones on thinking "noooo that's her actual friend who's dying someone call her noooooooo."

-> I'm good with most of the adaptational modernizing choices but I do think it was a misstep to remove the transfusions from the suitors and van helsing. I get that it would have been difficult to finagle that in a modern setting where doing an impromptu vein to vein transfusion of blood in someone's bedroom when 999 calls and ambulances exist is completely insane, but I think it would have been worth it to somehow work it in. this is a vampire story, exchanges of blood are kind of important.

-> the in-universe podcast format is doing unimaginable things to the energy of this narrative. at first I was like "even with redacting the name, mina and seward publicly sharing seward's patient notes for renfield online in an entertainment context is a bit much 😬" but I was a fool. I had not yet understood the insanity of these people when elevated to the status of podcast characters. lucy records and posts all her emergency doctor's appointments. lucy ends her testament with "please never let art listen to this, it would be too upsetting" and seward posts it. mina can't get in touch with lucy (because she's mcfreaking dead) so instead posts an open letter (voicemail) to her podcast feed without listening to any of the episodes her friends have uploaded while she's been away. they post the recording of lucy's literal actual death. mina listen's to jonathan's audio diary of his captivity and torment at castle dracula and without even consulting him her first thought it "I must post this for my followers."

-> of course van helsing's american. if van helsing needed to be from anywhere other than the netherlands it would have to be america. she's giving pure american nonsense.

[sulphuricgrin]

It's Sujamma Sundas!

This week @lathez's Sujamma wants to hear all about your big ideas. What’s a new story idea or OC idea you have? Maybe you haven’t fleshed it out yet - this is a great opportunity!

no pressure tagging: @skyrim-forever @illumiera @bougainvillea-and-saltwater @lobo-inu @hircines-hunter @pocket-vvardvark @scholarlyhermit @yansurnummu @oblivions-dawn @yewphoric

@changelingsandothernonsense @sanzas-reverie @fangsandsoftgrass @ggghoulish @silly-little-diary @truth-01001001-liar @firefly-factory @moogaiashe @pinessydr @flycasual

I actually talked about my recent new WIPS like 2 days ago in a tag/ask game. I'm just gonna copy&paste the answers here. Given they're smut WIPS ideas, I don't expect all to read it. Just tagged lots cause i'm more curious about everyone else's ideas that they've been working on, than them reading my post here lol

First WIP:

I'll state the title comes from Måneskin's song OWN MY MIND which is fitting for these idiots. Anyways, it's another smut oneshot! Because of fucking course it is. I'm ill about them. You already know how my outline/ideas are written from the last oneshot with you and the girls on discord lmao Can't believe i'm sharing this publicly compared to the server. nervous nervous nervous Anyways, my stupidity under the cut. SMUT WIP OUTLINE Idea:  Miraak orders Lilli to sing for him, his little canary. Challenges her to see how long she can continue as he goes down on her. Wants to hear her breath hitch and voice stutter. They’ve got their own (overly inflated) egos on the line here. To even the playing field, she asks him to take off the ring that offers him immunity to her illusion work (that's made for him). Curious, he follows through, though a tad hesitant. She must have an idea in mind to pair with her singing. [THIS IS AN IMMENSE AMOUNT OF TRUST, given what she can do to the mind at this point] And she does. Illusions dig into his mind, and he feels her hands all over him ― though never truly there― before settling on his cock. It was an odd thing, for her to jerk him off yet she never truly touches him, for it's all in his mind, and then he feels her mouth that's not there. Both are trying to overstimulate the other, who's attention breaks first. Lilli fails eventually though ;) Seconds before Lilli’s orgasm, he stops, denying her of it. Wants her to squirm. But oh, the whiny sob, her nails digging into his scalp. And then, to his surprise― tears.   To find her so truly overwhelmed. He's never seen her cry like this. Or at all. He loves the sight of it. Especially when it's got her cursing him, vicious, yet utterly begging for him. There's more, but that's the idea~

Second WIP idea:

named to THE CHASE (based off LuLuYam’s song that’s in the Dragonsong playlist haha) I think you can already get an idea based off the title change― I’m making a fic based of one of the fantasies in It Means Nothing (This Means Everything) "Would she make him stalk her through the tower or the libraries for her, whilst wearing almost nothing and that mischievous smile on her face? Yes, she would, and he’d follow in a heartbeat to claim her. Would she do the same, stalking for him as soon as she enters Apocrypha? She does so already." So a bit of a predator/prey dynamic. Because 👀  But it is gonna be a bit of a switch, as in Lilli’s gonna do her typically stalking first before the dynamic shifts to Miraak going after her.  That's all I've got since I'm working on the other oneshot first. But yeah, of course I've got another idea already. I'mtotallynormalaboutthem

I do have more ideas, but i'm scared to share this kind of shit in public.

Thank you, Eve and Cethlenn for encouraging me as always with this kind of shit. <3

[bloodpen-to-paper]

Gonna throw my hat into the ring here, as someone who very recently had a streamer they loved and supported go down for serious allegations and crimes. Feel free to skip around my long ass response, I'll break it down into parts:

---Public Reception

Part of the reason I despise these situations is because people online don't ever know enough to make 100% accurate assessments, but will act like they do anyway (I don't care if its authoritarian, I want a bill where people on Twitter can't post about drama until after at least 5 minutes of being forced to critically think). Having said that, here's my opinions on how everything should go forward:

-Shelby shared her story in order to spread awareness on domestic abuse and the signs, so that others can read those signs and keep themselves safe (or leave an actively abusive situation they've been convincing themselves isn't that bad). That is the priority here, that is what people should be focusing on. If you make this situation about stirring drama with the other CCs, you're a dumbass and you need to stop posting. Give support to Shelby, uplift the voices of women like her sharing their stories, spread awareness on what domestic abuse can look like so everyone can learn, and wait for more information. Its that simple.

-CCs don't owe statements for conflicts they weren't involved in. Philza, Tommy, Quackity, Charlie, and other CCs close to Wilbur who aren't part of this don't owe you an explanation. They're people, they're most likely having to come to terms with the fact that a dear friend, someone who could've been like family, isn't who they thought he was. Have a fucking heart and cut it with the parasocial entitlement. I'm hoping Quackity will remove Wilbur from the Qsmp, but just like with Forever, he probably won't make a big announcement of it, and that's perfectly ok. I understand wanting to make sure you're not supporting a CC who would defend someone guilty of committing domestic abuse, but its still not your right to get anything from these people. If they share, they share. If not, then they don't. If you can't handle that, then leave.

-Having said the above, its worth noting that CCs aren't just a fun group of friends, they're coworkers. Much of what they say publicly and when they say it can be shaped or restricted by situations that can affect their careers or get them in legal trouble. You don't know these people personally or what goes on behind the scenes, its a network and you can't measure their responses the same way you would your own opinion piece. The CCs will always need to be careful about how they respond to an issue, and they will most likely respond in "safe" ways considering what's on the line. Not accusing anyone of anything, nor demonizing them for it, just something to keep in mind. They're human, but they're also working a job.

-If you have Lovejoy or Wilbur-related merch, DON'T THROW IT AWAY OR DESTROY IT. I've seen lots of people pointing out merch can be donated to thrift shops or shelters, and its more eco-friendly than burning or trashing. Remember, anything can be repurposed; a book, a hoodie, there's always someone who can find a use for it. Likewise if you want to keep your old merch, that's fine to. You can wear it if it brings you comfort, or if its something you just like the look of. As long as you're not supporting the source, you already have the merch so don't let people pressure you into thinking you're bad for keeping it if you're not ready to let go/throw away those $70.

---My Opinion Regarding His Response

Everyone and their cousin has been dogpiling on Wilbur's response (rightfully), but I think people online don't understand how public responses work when there's legal team and PR interference. The tweet for me had a weird lack of personal touch and emotion from the guy I've observed to be very personal in his writings, whether its his music or a community post about a life update (blah blah parasociality I know, but I'm letting you know the observations I've made of his behavior simply as someone who notices these things). He also never explicitly stated Shelby's name, rather saying "that person" (you even had the textbook 'black text on a blank white background' screenshotted response). Finally, there was a consistent standing on Wilbur 'not being aware of how the other person really felt' regarding his actions. What I'm trying to say is... y'all really gotta start putting two and two together. Its a textbook PR response. As in, I'd be surprised if Wilbur had over 50% involvement in making it because the wording is exactly how it reads when a response has been initiated by someone's lawyers rather than themselves. The reason he doesn't take more accountability and openly admit to having abused Shelby (other than the obvious public backlash) is probably cause his lawyers are banking on the feigning ignorance angle, that Wilbur didn't intentionally abuse Shelby and was ignorant to how his actions affected her. Its the best way to get him out of hot water on the legal side, because again, this isn't messy drama; its a genuine accusation of a crime. I don't think the response is tone deaf and unaware, I think its a deliberate and measured legal move not even fully created by Wilbur himself. This isn't to say I think he's innocent, but I do know that Shelby and others have brought up some serious accusations, and Wilbur is lawyering up as a result.

---Nuance

Prefacing this part by saying that things are not looking good for Wilbur in regards to what other CCs have brought up about him, and I fully believe and support Shelby, hence why I support that the community should start distancing from him and his work. But I would like to take this opportunity to look into the greater aspects at play. We are within a system that brings up men to do what they want without teaching them to be considerate and aware of the consequences. Men are taught their harmful behavior is perfectly fine, often at women's expense, which makes these situation a very different story depending on who's telling it. Its because of this that we need to critically analyze the system and how it causes men to turn out as they do, instead of giving an immediate opinion without any nuance.

There's a possibility that Wilbur is being genuine in not realizing how bad his actions were. There's a possibility he truly is a manipulative liar who knew exactly what he was doing. He could be a piece of shit. He could be genuinely trying to improve and do better. We don't know. I'd say its pretty cut and dry that he hurt Shelby, and for that I'm glad she's getting justice for herself and spreading awareness. But if we're to entertain the idea of redemption, we need to look at situations like these with nuance so that we can understand the "why". I'm not trying to justify Wilbur's actions or even give him the benefit of the doubt, I have no idea what's going on in that guy's head. I'm just putting this out there because its something I want everyone to think about, especially when it comes to topics regarding narcissism and mental health issues. Don't support him or Lovejoy, just keep something like this in mind for the future.

---The Community/Now Displaced Fans

To everyone who's immediately telling Wilbur's fans (the ones that don't support his actions and are actively mourning no longer being able to enjoy his stuff) to just listen to other music or move on, and who are celebrating each negative new thing that comes out about Wilbur's current status, sincerely, shut the fuck up. You are completely lacking in empathy or emotional intelligence, and what you're doing is the last thing the community needs. Wilbur and his work could have and for many did get fans through some of their hardest moments, and losing that wonderful sense of community you get from streamers and their work (especially with the roleplay stuff) is awful. It fucked me up losing that after almost a year, for some of his fans its been even longer.

If you're a (former) fan of his, its ok to feel like shit. We're human, we get attached and we grieve losing something like this because that's how capable we are of loving. Take your time, as long as you know where to stand (supporting Shelby and raising awareness on domestic abuse), you're doing good. You can keep enjoying his characters and work and making content about it, separating the art from the artist (though don't stream his music from platforms that would give him the money, find a way to pirate it).

This sucks. I feel it as a casual fan who was once hugely into his content, I can imagine what its like for those who were huge supporters all the way up until now. You didn't do anything wrong supporting someone you thought was a good person, its just a thing that happens and its so fucking shitty. You ain't alone though, I know some of you have that knee-jerk reaction to avoid anything to do with him but reaching out to others in the community and actually processing it all is way better, you won't be bottling it all up. Don't be afraid to continue engaging with this part of your life until you're ready to move on from it in your own time, and be kind to yourself. From someone who went through exactly what you are now, trust me, you'll get through it.

[ronearoundblindly]

happy sleepover lexi!! 🥰✨️🌼 may i ask for 3 times he didnt cry + 1 time he did for steve?

(if you have too many steve asks, it could be ransom instead 😶‍🌫️)

So--you asked for it, remember that!--this is angsty and a smidge dark. Warnings for canon-level trauma, mentions of gun-violence, (unintentional) animal neglect, and mental health struggles, but we end on a happy note, actually, a very happy note! There is no pairing or Reader mentioned, btw, it's only Steve and his experiences. (In my opinion, this work is not suitable for all ages, so I'm putting the banner on.)

Not after the Battle of New York

The young waitress Steve personally saved from (watch again), the one who gave TV interviews about how grateful she was to Captain America and the Avengers, died in a traffic accident only a few weeks after. No drivers were drunk, the city was had barely started to recover a normal feel and schedule, but bad weather left small-debris-filled roads flooded and slippery. The waitress was one of four pedestrians and five cars involved in the pile-up yet the only casualty.

He read about her death in the newspaper, and that disconnect, the slow dawning of "what's it all for," kept him silent and contemplative for hours. He shed no tears over her. He felt worse because of it and sent a wreath to her funeral.

She was 24 years old, and that was the 67th flower arrangement he'd ordered...so far.

2. Not during the trial

Wherever they go, death follows...and follows...and follows.

A man's wife died in an attack on them--which is an unfortunately common story--but when there are no repercussions, the man gets angry and shoots up his local courthouse. He's tried, publicly and passionately, in front of dozens of cameras broadcasting to millions of people.

Steve sat in the gallery, listening to the man, the defendant, the murderer's testimony. He listens to the story of their lives, their love, his loss of her, and the fury that took this man over, the vice of hopelessness that dragged him into a dark place with two guns and six magazines of ammo.

Steve was reminded of wars that never end and ripples on a pond. There's waves and waves of death, then the waves start somewhere else of the surface.

He can't cry about it, though, because of the cameras, because Steve knows he did nothing wrong that caused this, but he makes himself sit and listen and share some burden of pain.

3. Not for the clean-up

After the Snap, there were half of everything, but somehow not an even half. Some communities lost three-quarters of their doctors or cops. Whole households disappeared; some parents dusted while their children did not. In an attempt to help supplement places with diminished emergency services, Steve volunteers to do 'home visits' to find any kids who cannot fend for themselves.

He's fast--fast enough to cover lots of homes with registered children,--but Steve wasn't prepared for the pets.

Dogs and cats, bird, guinea pigs, rabbits, rats, fish...each one hits him like raindrops until it's just pouring death on top of dust.

Humans are depressed, understandably, but many stop going to work for a time, long enough and in enough places that it keeps happening. Steve goes by shelters, boarding facilities, and vets when he sees completely empty parking lots.

He breaks windows, smashes through doors, rips apart cages, but Steve doesn't cry.

The burden is too heavy. There's too many cars piling up. The war has ended and death still keeps following. He can't feel the rain or the waves anymore.

Weeks after the Snap, he buries that last pet in a field of wind flowers and doesn't cry.

4. For a wedding

He thinks it's one more bit of bad luck: Maria Hill's father has a stroke a week before her wedding. The world had been down a long road with a lot of loss, and this small but happy event is meant to keep him afloat--or, at least, Steve is using it that way.

So when Hill asks Steve to fill in, he jumps at the chance, anything she needs to go forward.

Miraculously (by his own stubborn disposition), her dad recovers in time, and Steve watched them walk down the aisle, tears freely streaking his face. The floodgates opened when a balance was reached. The scales weren't even, there was no rhyme or reason, but drop by happy drop, Steve saw what it was all for: a beginning. He embraced this.

He didn't have to save everyone. He didn't have to shoulder the whole burden. He didn't need to fill in every empty space.

He could just begin. He could just try. Being ready and willing to step up, step in, step forward...that's plenty.

Steve takes one step, and the next step follows and follows and follows.

[Main Masterlist; Sleepover Masterlist; Steve Rogers One-Shots]

[typically-untypical]

Roman's Boyfriends

This was written for the Camp Cartoon event hosted by @tss-camp-and-coffee. Story was written for @prince-rowan-of-the-forest using the prompt "Anaroceit!"

"How many times do we have to have this conversation?" Janus asked, with more sadness than anger. "Virgil doesn't want to see my face, much less be in the same room as me." Janus was carefully appling a face mask to his boyfriend, making sure to cover everything evenly without getting it too close to Roman's eyes. "Do I miss and adore him? Not that you will ever hear me admitting, but it doesn't matter if he doesn't want to be in the same room as me." Roman could hear the sadness in Janus' voice, the lingering echoes of regret. He wanted to fix this, and he knew he could.

"My love, if you two would just-"

"No," Janus said before gently putting his finger on Roman's lips. "This isn't a Disney movie." His voice was soft and his eyes were sad. It had taken almost a year of dating for Janus to open up to Roman like this, to be vulnerable even when they were alone. "We can't wave our magic wands and erase the pain of the past, and I hurt him Roman." Janus reached for him, almost like he was going to kiss him, but then pulled away, standing up. "I'm going to get use towels." Roman frowned, watching as Janus retreated into his bathroom.

The problem was, Roman knew getting Janus and Virgil to talk would work, because he was dating both of them. Early on in this poly hinge relationship, Roman had agreed that he wouldn't share the secrets of one with the other, and that he would keep the two relationships separate. That had worked for a while until they both started asking how the other was. It was benign at first, a simple courteous question, but then it kept growing. Janus would ask if Virgil was still struggling with anxiety. Virgil would ask if Janus' scars still hurt him in the winter. Roman had been able to tell that there was more to their past relationship than either was saying but he had to pry it out of each of them. 

Janus and Virgil had dated back in high school, a low key romance they didn't share publicly because of Janus' strict parents. There were a lot of details about their relationship, external factors that made Roman's stomach turn with sympathy, but it narrowed down to this. Janus had been lying to Virgil about something, trying to protect him, and Virgil had applied for a college far away, because it gave him the best chance of supporting Janus. Virgil had felt betrayed because of Janus' lies, and Janus had felt abandoned because Virgil was leaving him behind. 

The break up was messy.

What the two of them didn't seem to understand, that Roman realized far too easily, was that they both still loved each other. Virgil fought constantly not to ask about Janus, about very personal things regarding Janus' history, and Janus always looked downtrodden when he talked about Virgil, lying through his teeth that he didn't care.

Roman's boyfriends were idiots, and they could have their happy ending if they would just talk with one another which was why Roman had been formulating a plan. He had hoped to talk some sense into Janus first, but if he had to he would just force his boyfriends together. If they were mad... well he'd deal with that when the time came.

"Don't fall asleep on me," Janus said as he walked back out of the bathroom.

"Just resting my eyes darling, waiting for you to be by my side again." Janus rolled his eyes but smiled, sitting next to Roman, gently reaching for his hand, threading their fingers together. "Actually," Roman gave Janus' hand a little squeeze, "I was thinking about the play, the one I'm directing."

"I'm aware," Janus said, "What about it? Your final show is coming up soon, it's a bit late to be changing anything."

"Oh no, I wouldn't change perfection. I was actually thinking about the final show. Virgil isn't going to be able to make it due to a work thing, and I would hate to go to the cast party alone, so I was hoping you might be able to make it?" He asked, "Though it is a bit short timing."

Janus looked at Roman, eyes narrowed. His face mask cracked a little along the sides, it was almost time to take it off. "You're up to something."

Roman gaped, trying to hide it because yes he was up to something, and yes, Janus could read him exceptionally well, but this time it needed to work. "Love, I am offended you would think so low of me." He then lowered his voice, giving Janus' hand another squeeze. "I really do just want you there." And that part was honest he wanted the world for Janus, and if that meant having Janus be mad at him for interfering, he would weather the storm.

"Alright," Janus sighed, reaching over and grabbing the warm wash clothe. "It shouldn't be a problem for me to be there, but if you have shenanigans planned-" Janus started carefully wiping the face mask off of Roman.

"No Shenanigans," that was more of his brother's thing. Roman had plans instead.

[Section Break]

Janus should have known something was up when Roman asked him to the play. He had thoughtlessly assumed Virgil was avoiding the play, considering Twelfth Night was the play Janus had been performing in when they started dating in high school. Janus had assumed a lot of things and he was kicking himself for it. Virgil was here, sitting in a seat in the front row, the seat next to him empty and reserved for Janus. Gritting his teeth, Janus pushed his shoulders back, standing tall as he made his way to his seat. He had promised Roman he would be here, so he wasn't going to flake out now, but the moment they had some alone time, Janus was going to have a strong conversation with him. 

As he sat down, Janus heard the sharp intake of breath next to him and the frustrated growl. He didn't saw anything though, he didn't need to play into this.

"What are you doing here?" Virgil hissed, and this was exactly what he had been telling Roman about, Virgil didn't want to see him.

"Roman asked me to be here."

There was a brief bit of silence before Janus watched Virgil slump in his chair, it was out of the corner of his eye but Janus could still read him so well. "Of course he did," Virgil huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Great, they felt the same way about this. 

Both fell into an awkward silence as the play started. Roman went up on stage, introducing the play and thanking everyone for being here. Janus was almost certain they locked eyes for a moment before Roman continued. He gave his normal spiel about patrons of the arts being important then left the stage, letting the actors take over. 

Janus watched the play in silence, slowly relaxing throughout it. He remembered playing Malvolio in high school, swaggering his way across the stage, and at the end of it, Virgil had met him with a bouquet of flowers. Virgil had been on tech crew for that show, and the two of them had traded quips and barbs like none other. Janus' heart yearned for the days when they could look at each other and know what the other was thinking. He looked over at Virgil, hoping to just catch a glance, but Virgil was already looking at him, brow scrunched up, biting his lip. Janus couldn't read him anymore, it had been years since they had seen each other, and just as long since they had been close. 

"You played him better," Virgil said, before turning his eyes away from Janus and back to the play. He was still worming his lip between his teeth and Janus was dumb struck. Was this an olive branch? A possible opening for a connection? He laid his arm flat on the divider between them, palm up. He was being too hopeful, but he tried to play it cool, resting his chin on his other hand, eyes turned to the stage. 

Sure enough, Virgil carefully placed his hand in Janus' fingers interlaced. He wasn't squeezing Janus' hand, still hesitant, but it still made Janus' heart soar. "I missed you," He whispered, when there was a brief pause in the play. He could see the way Virgil looked at him, analyzed him. Honestly, this was further than Janus thought he was going to get.

"Sorry I left and couldn't be there for you." Virgil squeezed his hand back, holding his fingers tightly. They had a lot to talk about after the play, a lot, but for the first time in years, they could figure it out together.

[sparkleobserver]

Hiiiii, I'm Wolf! :] I am 25, and my pronouns are he/him. I'm a trans guy and I'm autistic and ADHD. I'm not revealing much else about myself on purpose for my own privacy, but I may later on if I end up feeling more comfortable about it. This post might be subject to change! I will work on the desktop layout of this blog when I get time.

I am the second person who worked on the original iteration of Karmageddeon with Kneeby from around 2012 to 2017, Kneeby's ex boyfriend from that time. Anything bad you've heard about me is probably very exaggerated and honestly twisted to make me look like a bad person. I have grown and changed since then anyway, and any behavior in the past is not indicative of anything current about me. I may take time to answer asks or respond if something isn't urgent, as I am just a very anxious person. Please have some patience with me!

• This media will have a lot of horror themes (psychological horror, in particular). I'm not entirely sure about content like blood and gore yet or other more graphic themes, but I would like to aim for less focus on those things. I will figure it out!

Karmageddeon was Team Escapees in the past!! I thought I would be just dipping and disappearing again, but I want to take Team Escapees back, honestly. So I want to reboot it my own way. It's likely what I create is going to be closer to the original comic than Karmageddeon is, and you might even find things familiar!

So I suppose I am sticking around. I have some guidelines for interacting with me. The most important are next, and it's continued under the cut, with more info.

• If you come just to harass me or bother me about Kneeby, just be aware that I am not going to dignify your asks with an answer or response. Full stop.

• If you support Kneeby, do not interact with me. General DNI criteria apply here. If you are proship, this is not a space for you. I will block over these things.

• To elaborate, if you are proship, I do not want you to interact with this blog or the content here. You have many other spaces. I cannot control what you do in private, but if I see any indication on your blog that you are a proshipper, I will block you.

• I may not always be consistently active! I have my day-to-day life to go about, and I have other special interests and hyperfixations that may take up my attention. I am stating upfront that there may be stretches of inactivity from me.

• If you want to speak with me, message me here. If I join any Discord servers, it will be on an alternate account from my personal one, so I may not always be available immediately. I'm just a person that prefers to keep my personal life separate from the public internet due to past experiences.

• My typing may be inconsistent, I apologize! I am used to no punctuation or capitalization, but I'd like this blog to be accessible to people, so I'm not going to do that here.

I'm fully aware that I can't control what people do with characters or media I publicly post. I know that people will create whatever content they want. I am not here to police you or fight about it, because I have more to do than argue with people on the internet and I don't need that kind of stress.

It's just my personal wish that you don't engage with this media if you are proship, and that you don't create content that is incestuous, pedophilic, or anything of those sorts.

If you're going to do it anyway, I'm just asking that you don't expose people to it that don't want to see it. I don't want to see it either, so please keep it contained or whatever. Thanks!

If you've read this far, thank you! I very much appreciate it. A cookie for you. 🍪 :]

If you are looking for a link to my explanation of my experience with Kneeby, you can find it here:

https://www.tumblr.com/sparkleobserver/777696090172604416/hello-everyone-you-dont-have-to-talk-to-me-bc-i?source=share