#accidentally typed brides instead of birds

[daemoninwhiteround2]

Okay THAT PET NAME ANON GOT ME THINKING! Now, imagine a scenerio where the Batfam aren't imposters but they're cursed to forget the one they love dearly. And Jason has to suffer them looking at him and not knowing who he is, not waking in the morning to Dick's soft "sweetheart", or go to sleep hearing Tim heatedly calling him "Babe" or those peaceful moments where Damian will just call him "Beloved" whilst they read and sketch. Or the loving, tender moments with a open Bruce and his "Darling".

Ok, from now on, they're implementing some sort of Designated Survivor protocol. The entire family is never showing up to the same fight again--it means that when they all get their asses handed to them, there's no one to come rescue them.

At least this "supervillain" is wallowing in their capture like a pig rolling around in mud. Jason's never seen her before--Bruce had muttered over coms that she was one of Zatanna's occasional dance partner. Zee asked Babs to handle it, Babs already had the Birds deployed elsewhere, and so Babs had asked them to deal with it. Apparently whatever the chick writes down becomes reality--on paper (ha) she'd seemed really easy to take down. Just cause a little blackout, seperate pen from notebook and case closed, early night for all the bats and birds, right?

Turns out the bitch doesn't need to write things on anything. She scrawls across air, light following her finger, and Nightwing's tangled up in what appears to be multiple ribbons. Robin jumps her but she manages to spin out if the way, and the brat's hitting the ground next to 'Wing, gaged and bound at the wrist and ankles with similar looking ribbon.

Red Robin tosses a smoke grenade at her feet--the ribbons start to break apart and Jason grins, activates infrared vision and dives in but a massive blast of wind slams him onto his bavk and the ribbons solidify. Red brings his staff down of her wrist and she screams, but the bitch finishes her sentence with her other hand and Red joins the ribbon bondage pile.

Jason has got no idea where Bruce had got to. He grits his teeth and rolls into his feet, aims shots for her wrists and arms and darts around to some cover on to opposite side of the warehouse to where the others are. He's using rubber bullets but he should be able to do enough damage to make writing really fucking hurt--or hopefully the others will be able to free themselves from ribbon bondage hell.

Of course, she guestures and massive wings unfold from her back. A couple of flaps takes her high and back enough that she can look at him and the others, and the warehouse isn't big enough for him to break line of sight. He fires a couple of shots at the wings and she shrieks again, higher pitched, more like a bird, and pain screams through Jason's skull before everything goes black.

--

Everything hurts when Jason wakes up. He keeps his breathing as similar as possible, tenses different body parts in turn to see if anything is hurt enough to impact the inevitable fight--his shoulders ache, from the position of them and the feel of his arms, he's definitely restrained like the others. It's weird though, he knows he's tied up but he can't feel anything.

"And the last of you awake!" the bitch chirps.

Jason slowly opens his eyes. Yup, they're all tied up, even (aww fuck) Bruce. She's at least colour coordinated the ribbon with their costumes--Nightwing's also appears to be sparkly. Christ, if this bitch makes 'Wing dig out the Discowing costume, Jason's hunting her down to whatever hole they stuff her into and breaking something.

She's ranting on and on, how dare they get in her way, don't they know she's just trying to make things better, blah blah blah. Jason watches her posture more than anything, watches her work herself up into a frenzy, even as the pressure in his head starts to build again and the blinks get longer and longer.

Finally she stops. Honestly she looks pretty shitty, the worst Red hit is already sweeping up in a way that promises a fracture, at least, and reddened eyes and tangled her don't do her any favours.

"I'll show you," she hisses, lights starting to flicker at her fingertips. "I'll show you what it's like to lose-"

Black Bat crashes into her.

B, 'Wing, Red and Robin all flinch as her magic rolls over them.

Black spots creep over Jason's vision, but they hold off long enough for Jason see see Black Bat spray something in bitch's face that makes her away and crash to one knee.

Jason smirks and falls back unconscious.

--

He blinks. He knows this ceiling. He rolls to the side and vomits. Fuck his head hurts and that did not help.

Jason hates waking up in the med bay.

He hasn't got anything keeping him on the bed, no IVs or ECG sensors, so he slides off the bed, takes a second longer to get his legs underneath him than he should need, and stumbles off to where he can bear voices.

They're all here, gathered around the computer, and to Jason's swiftly buried relief, they all appear unharmed although they're all still in full consume.

Dick spots him first, and actually smiles at him. Huh. Either the bondage has put him in a good mood, or maybe he's happy that Jason didn't go for any really debilitating shots. "Hey! How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit in the head with a crowbar," Jason snarks back.

Dick's smile turns polite. "Ah, OK. Listen, I know Batman won't, but I wanted to thank you for helping out back there. You did a decent job distracting her."

Jason pulls away a little bit. Dick's talking to him like, like--

Tim comes over and holds out his hand. "Are you one of the Birds of Prey? Oracle didn't mention a male on her team?"

What the fuck.

The brat stalks over, his arms crossed. "An outsider does not deserve to wear our bat."

OK that's not totally out of character but--

None of them have taken any armour off, even though Jason knows Dick's electricity got reflected back on to him earlier and he should have removed the costume already so that Alfred can try and salvage what he can. No one has taken off a domino. They're all still using codenames, even though they're in the Cave.

They're all stiff, wary, hands are near their weapons, but not in the way they usually are. There's no ... tension, or rather, the tension that should be there isn't, it's like

It's like

It's like when Tim first bought Stephanie to the Cave. Like when Babs bought Cass.

What the fuck.

Bruce breaks away from where Cass was giving a report. He stalks over to Jason and stops just close enough that Jason has to crane his neck slightly, just close enough that he is backlit by one of the light and all expression vanishes from his face.

"Who are you," he grinds out.

[who-ever-said-i-was-nice]

could we have mc falling down the stairs and getting a concussion with ikevamp pls?

I got ya! Sorry it took this long...

Comte

you where at a party with Comte

 while he talked to guests you excused yourself and walked outside

on the way out you  accidentally ran into a man

he helped you up, you apologized and continued walking

you reached the front door and stepped outside

suddenly a very angry lady burst outside and came right at you

“ Why where you talking to me husband!” you looked at her, a little confused

“ Well, I bumped into him and I had to apologize. That’s the right thing to do. Non?”

“ You’re lying!” “ Listen here I already have a boyfriend. And he’s the most loving, caring, kind-hearted, sweet person I have ever met! Why the hell would I go talking to your husband!” “ You lying little bi**h. I know you want to steal him away. I can’t let that happen. No hard feelings right?”

she looked at you, her words dripping with venom and before you could react she pushed you down the stairs.

you fell and hit your head hard  on one of the steps

you heard a commotion at the top of the stair and you where pretty sure you saw a golden figure bend over you, but you blacked out

when you woke up you realized you where back home in your bed

you looked over to your right and saw a very tired looking Comte smiling down at you

you felt guilty so you apologized

he combed your hair and reassured you that everything’s fine and he isn’t mad at you

he was super worried but he won’t let it show for your sake

Oh yessssss some nice juicy drama * faints because of my own work*

Leonardo

uuuuuuuh this man will have a heart attack

you where walking around town, when you came across this huge library

you were super exited about it so Leo decided to walk you around

you two had a blast

you where mesmerized at the millions of old books inside

When you found something interesting you would bounce up and down like the adorable little dork you where and Leo would chuckle, loving every second of it

when it was time to leave you skipped out followed by Leo

you where walking down the stairs explaining about modern libraries when you slipped and fell backwards hitting your head on the step

Leo couldn’t catch you

the last thing you remember is Leonardo’s worried face

you woke up in your bed

you looked around the room

suddenly you felt the blanket shift a bit

as you lifted it Lumiere crawled out

he nudged your cheek and curled up beside you

you pet him for a while and then got up

“ OUCh! Oh Cara mia you’re awake

yup he fell asleep right next to your bed on the floor

you giggled and gently tugged him up and into the bed

you cuddled for a solid 2 hours

Arthur

it was winter

you where walking home after a case

you where talking and laughing

but the ground was icy and as you where walking by the entrance to a building you pointed at something and accidentally slipped

Arthur was looking at what you pointed at when he heard a dull thump a groan and a horrible crack

he whirled around only to see you on the ground, knocked out and a small stream of blood was flowing from your cheek

he immediately scooped you up and ran, all the while beating himself up for not catching you

you woke up in your bed

Arthur was passed out on the bed next to you

you realized your head was bandaged, you had a band-aid on your cheek and your arm was in a sling

when he felt you stir Arthur woke up and hugged you

turns out you blocked most of the fall with your hand so you didn’t break your head, and managed to get away with a concussion, but your left arm payed the price because now it was broken

This doctor was worried sick

Theo

Theoooooo mah boi

you just finished up at one of Theo’s art exhibition? displays? showcases? i don’t know, just imagine the correct version here

he had just made a really good deal and he was visibly happy

you two chatted as you walked outside

as you reached the bottom and where standing there waiting for a carriage, a rabid dog jumped out of the bush and attacked you knocking you to the ground

Theo couldn’t catch you he was to busy getting the dog to leave

you hit your head on the last step really hard and within a few moments you lost conciseness

You woke up in your bed the next day (or so you thought)

Theo was sitting next to you holding your hand

he pulled you into a tight hug

“ Silly Y/N scarring me like this.”

you broke free from his bear hug, only to pull your lover into a passionate kiss

when you pulled away he stared  into your eyes

Theo’s not the type to convert his emotions into words he prefers actions and the way he’s looking at you now melts your heart and you know how much he worried about you

“Thank you for taking care of me Theo. I’m a little sleepy now but can you stay a while” he snorted “ Wasn’t  a day and a half enough for you” buuut he’s a cutie so he crawled into bed with you and held you close as you fell asleep

*Me writing a part for Theo*: yes yes let’s make Theo’s favorite animal into the villain of this. ok and then let’s traumatize him by making you sleep for a long time. AAAAHHHHAHAHAHA I’m so evil. Ok so now that i have that out of my system let’s make this the sappiest of them all. OML I LOVE HIM

Dazai

Dazai and you where walking from the gazebo after *caught* things *caught*

no I’m kidding you had a tea party and  made rhymes about little dolls and bird and playgrounds

you cute little dorks I love you so much

Sebas was watering the plants there a few minutes ago and it got onto the steppes

Dazai was busy making ridiculously stupid dad jokes and you where laughing your head off

sadly you didn’t notice the puddle and slipped on it banging your head on the step

the last thing you remember was Dazai wrapping his arms around you and lifting you up whispering “ I got you little bird”

you woke up in your bed in the evening

Dazai was right next to you stroking your hair

“ Good morning, Toshiko-san!” you couldn’t help but laugh

Dazai was worried about you but he likes to live his life by the saying: Laughter is the best medicine

Vincent

you when to a church because Vincent wanted to paint it

however once he finished most of it he decided it was missing something

something that could immediately turn any plain picture into a beautiful masterpiece

you 

he asked you to model and you gladly agreed

you sat on the steppes and let Vincent paint you

once he was finished you jumped up and started hurrying down the stairs to see how it looked

unfortunately you slipped on one of the worn down steps and fell back banging you head and blacking out

Vincent saw this and rushed up to you

he was beside himself

he already has trouble dealing with emotions, and he just saw your life flash before his eyes

baby boy is traumatized

he picked you up and since he couldn’t carry it ditched the paining and ran to the nearest carriage

you woke up with Vincent by your side

he held your hand and smiled gently

“You’re awake thank God!”

you asked about the painting and he said he just left it there

needles to say you felt horrible so you asked if you could go back

he laughed saying it’s probably gone but complied

surprisingly the painting was still there

Napoleon

you where fencing

it was all fun and games

you would try your best and Leon would disarm you with ease

sometimes he would let you win by dropping the foil very obviously and saying something stupid like Oh no nunuce you got me again

either way it would always result in him picking you up and tickling you

at one point you where standing near the stairs

you where trying to disarm him and didn’t notice them

you stepped back and tripped and fell hitting your head on one of the stairs

the former emperor of France felt his blood chill 

he had never seen something scarier then you passed out on the stairs

in a flash he was by your side scooped you up and ran into the house

you woke up a few hours later and sitting right next to you, squeezing your hand like there is no tomorrow, was Napoleon

Honestly he looked like he had aged 50 years

but as son as you made eye contact all that  disappeared as if it wasn’t even there to begin with

He hugged you and semi scolded you for being a nunuce and scaring him

Jean

My apology for this one instead of stairs I used a horse. Also based on a true story, sorta. I didn’t have Jean.😢😂

soldier boy

so you where riding with Jean one day

you loved these little outings

the way the wind whipped your hair and the landscape rushed past you as you rode into the sunset

romantic I know

but you have to remember that this also has it’s dangers...

that day you stayed out a bit longer then usual

the sun had already set when you decided it was time to go

so  you started making your way back through the dark forest

 suddenly a fox dashed across the rode and scared your horse

it reared and trashed an threw you off it’s back

you hit your head and blacked out

you woke up the next morning in Jean’s bed

he himself sat beside you

he had his eye patch off and he had bags under his eyes

it was clear he stayed up all night ( he was that worried)

you felt guilty

you got up and hugged him against your chest  caressing his hair

he sighed “ I was so worried about you mademoiselle“

you giggled at the name “ I’m sorry monsieur“

he looked up at you lovingly, deep purple eyes shining

he reached up to cup your cheek as you threaded your hand through his hair and you both met in a passionate kiss

Me: YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE!!!!!! *sigh* I have lost my mind i case you haven’t noticed

Mozart

tsundere baby

Mozart had just finished one of his performances

and of coarse he killed it

since the place was not that far from the mansion you decided to walk to spare Mozart’s stomach

you where walking and you spotted something you stopped and excitedly pointed at it

Mozart rolled his eyes and kept going “You already have a plushie”

you playfully pouted but ran to catch up to him

suddenly a carriage rolled past you really close and scared you

you lost you balance and fell, hitting your head on the steppes of the building on your right

 Mozart wheeled around and saw you on the ground

he cursed himself for not being next to you,

he quickly picked you up and ran

You woke up the next day

Mozart was right next to you

“ This is why I hate carriages”

you burst out laughing and hugged him

he hugged you back and then slowly placed you back onto the bed

he then knelt down and brought up a bag and placed on your lap

you looked into the bad and in it was the plushie you where looking at before the accident

“ I thought it might make you feel better” the blush was visible on his cheeks

“ Oh, Mozart!” you threw your arms around him yet again “ I love it. I love you.” He buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent “I love you too”

Isaac

you where at the university

Isaac had finished his lectures and was surprised to see you there

or at least that was what he thought he looked like in actuality

he was flustered, and was stuttering, palm sweating a little

the kids (let’s call them that ok, they’re babies compared to Isaac anyway) got a kick out of that and where snickering in the background  

you where standing on the steppes when a little girl, who you figured was someones sibling came rushing up to you

now you where standing facing each other and this girl came in between the two of you pushing you in the process

you lost your balance and hit your head on the railing of the stairs and then crumpled to the ground

all you heard was screams and then nothing

you woke up that evening and the second you opened your eyes Isaac had you wrapped up in his arms and was holding you against his chest

“ Do you have any idea how worried I was! Thank God you’re awake”

you cupped his cheek and pulled him into a kiss

once you pulled away you smiled up at the now very flustered Isaac

“ Thank you for taking care of me Isaac!”

he mumbled a ‘you’re welcome’

you laughed and hugged him

Sebastian

so the two of you cuties where grocery shopping

you where finishing up and walking out laughing and talking

all of a sudden you heard screams from inside the store

you turned around only to see a man running at you at full speed

you didn’t have time to react

he knocked into you and sent your stuff flying and you tumbling down the stairs

you hit your head hard

the last thing you remember was Sebastian desperately calling your name

you woke up in your room and Sebastian pulled you into a hug and kissed you deeply

nah just kidding

*flick*Don’t ever do that again” “ DID YOU JUST FLICK MY FOREHEAD?!

he smiled sweetly and kissed your forehead right where he flicked it

“I’m saying this because I was worried about you” “ Well that changes things”

you both laughed and then you cuddled

bless Comte for giving Sebas the rest of the day off so you could cuddle

William Shookspear

You where actually on stage

From the start of your relationship Will knew you loved acting

So one day he decided to let you audition and you got the main part

shocker 

jkjk you where a great actress

 The play began and you killed it

absolutely blew everyone away

at the end you rushed backstage to meet your boyfriend

he was there smiling at you

it was honestly the sweetest, brightest smile you had ever sen him give you

you rushed down the steppes, but your dress got caught in a nail and yanked you back

you lost your balance and fell backwards

you immediately lost consciousness

you woke up in his room

he was sitting beside you with a worried expression

he asked if you where feeling alright and when you said you felt fine he let out a sigh of relief

“ Did I do good Will?” you asked timidly

he smiled brushed back your hair and planted a kiss to your forehead

“ You where amazing”

That’s it! I really hope you enjoyed! Stay safe out there!

[hydraulicfluidinmyteapot]

Pirates of the Caribbean

This is an ask from @shrigma-male​, but i accidentally deleted the ask.. so sorry! I am high key excited to get an ask about this topic, as the Pirates of the Caribbean ride is probably one of my earliest animatronic centric obsessions. not only is it one of the earliest and most impressive feats of Imagineering, it also remains solid to this day. it houses a great many iconic animatronic figurines, all of which work together in perfect harmony to capture beautifully life filled scenes of a cohesive storyline. Its individual ride concept was so strong that it birthed a line of clones and even a famous movie franchise. isn’t that sick? a RIDE was the key source material for a whole movie series! but it’s unsurprising, with the time and care poured into the ride. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you think about it, the ride is JAM PACKED so there is a LOT to talk about. This will only be a super brief post information-wise, but who knows? There may be more to come if this performs well. Apologies, my life’s not going great at the moment and i don’t have a lot of spare time so this is not as high a quality as i would like it to be.

Here’s my fast fact file on it!

Debut: March 16, 1967

Withdrawal: All rides are still operating

Attraction: The Pirates of the Caribbean 

Locations: Disneyland, Magic Kingdom, Tokyo Disneyland, Disneyland Paris, Shanghai Disney (but this one’s heavily modified)

Attraction Type: Dark ride

Riders Per Vehicle: 23–24

Number of vehicles:  50

Animatronics: 119 ish but it depends on the ride version

Ride videos: The entire ride varies from version to version and different people want to see different parts. i’m leaving you guys to find your own ride videos. it’s a very popular ride, just type on in to youtube and you’ll find heaps of nice high quality ones. 

The thing that stands out about this ride is the theming and the sheer amount of effort put in to creating an immersive environment. the ride houses an impressive 119 audio animatronics, 53 of which are animals. There are 630,000 gallons of water in the ride (original Disneyland) and takes three whole days to drain. there are over 40,000 gold coins in the treasure room scene alone. It holds what could possibly be considered Disney’s first themed restaurant which can be seen at the start of the ride. It is objectively one of the coolest things I’ve ever ridden. I want to call specific attention to the boat scene, where cannons fare at each other from opposite ships, creating glowing impacts and throwing water about. the first time I rode it it ensnared my attention and completely suspended my disbelief.The ride system is based on the one used in it’s a small world, due to that rides incredible success in debuting a boat-based transport system. Although I hate it’s a small world with a burning passion and refuse to write anything on it, I must be forced to admit that it did wonders as a test on how to create a good dark ride, emphasising key features such as a high rider capacity, boat-based transport system, and proving that animatronics are an incredibly attractive key event. Since the 60’s when it debuted, the Pirates of the Caribbean ride has gone through many changes throughout its location, including entire scenes being added and removed. but what it has maintained throughout its historic run time is its notoriety and splendour. the key change that I will bring up is the 2006 and 2007 renovations that include more theming from the very successful movie franchise. slightly unrelated, but the song “Yo ho, a pirate’s life for me” was actually first written for the ride. The rides are all being constantly updated in minor ways whether it’s slightly improving the animatronics, touching up background details or changing costuming. I’ll attach here a brief sort of timeline of the ride that I’ve whipped up here, but it only touches on the most notable modifications. sorry about how crap-tier it is..

Now, to talk more specifically about animatronics. The animatronics used on this ride are some of the earliest made by Disney. some are really quite basic, with their full range of motions being a singular full body action such as raising and lowering out of a barrel, but others move heads and arms in (sort of) lifelike actions. Some are newer, (specifically captain Jack Sparrow), but most are the original ones from the 60’s. One of my (and everyone’s tbh) favourites is the redheaded lady. She is (very originally) named Redd. Previously she was being sold off for auction, but in 2018 she was swapped to being an auctioneer. She has stunning red curls and a beautiful dress to match, and now holds a gun. here’s a little before and after.

 in the same refurbishment that changed her the mist screen in the tunnel before the fort battle was removed and replaced with a pirate in a cage who turns into a skeleton via an optical trick as well as an octopus playing with some medallions, along with the original 1967 narration about cursed treasure being restored. Her new version is based off none other than Anne Bonny herself (worth a google, she’s a fucking BOSS (like seriously!! Queer history icon!!! LOOK 👏 HER 👏 UP 👏 )) . She’s also displayed in dead man’s cove in a portrait, which I think is kinda neat. Her Paris version is completely silent, but the others yell about selling rum. Sadly I have never actually seen the new Redd in person, as I have only ridden the ride in Tokyo (where she is still being sold).

Now, the barker bird! oh how I love him so <3 he’s a little green pirate parrot, who spent his days crying about the ride. he was originally in the queue area but got kicked outside eventually to help deal with crowd control. he was then gotten rid of in 2006 in the big movie refurb. He was remarkably similar to the original barker bird who resided outside of the Enchanted Tikki Room; however, the pirate version has a peg leg, eye patch, tattoo on his chest and wondrously villainous hat. he was originally based off of Captain Flint, the parrot from Treasure Island. It is theorised that he has a skeletal clone inside the ride; the parrot belonging to “the Dirty Feet pirate”. 

When you first get on the ride, the first animatronic you come across is Old Joe. he is an animatronic character used in multiple different attractions, including Liberty Belle Riverboat, The Western River and Mark Twain Riverboat. in each version, he lives in a shack and is associated with the banjo. I say associated because it is actually a really common misconception that he actually plays the banjo. he does not, it is just a dark scene and there is banjo music playing around him. you can see the tip of his pipe glowing as you approach it in the ride, lit up alongside the fireflies. he is a small taste of what is to come.

Barbossa replaced the original pirate captain of The Wicked Wench in the boat battle scene in the mass movie renovation. he is my tied favourite with the redhead, as his dialog adds so much to the scene. his character moves in a beautiful fashion, lit up by a spotlight. His face is artfully painted, capturing what I believe to be the most human expression in the entire ride. His boat is fighting a Castillo del Morro fortress of Isla Tesoro, whilst busy searching for treasure and presumably captain jack sparrow. in 2011 his WDW version’s outfit was swapped over to his privateer uniform from On Stranger Tides, to keep the ride tied to the movies. What can be considered quite odd is that in Paris’s later renovation, the Captain did not replace the Wicked Wench captain, and was rather added in to a scene at the end of the ride, in the skeleton grotto. he is standing on the shipwreck beside the skeleton helmsman, carrying a lantern. 

The auctioneer. I don’t like him. greasy man. his eyes are wild. He’s originally voiced by Paul Frees (an icon, a legend) and is inspired by Captain Bartholomew Roberts (considered the most successful pirate in the golden age of piracy. He is also a pirate from the ship The Wicked Wench, and his auction is set up near a canteen called "La Cantina”. very creative. He was originally selling brides (human trafficking, not very snazzy) but now he sells chickens he stole from townspeople. however, this is unsuccessful. In the Paris version, instead of the chickens he is trying to sell a painting of Jean Laffite. Funnily enough, Jean is one of Disney’s sort of “stand in” pirate characters that they frequently just use whenever they need a pirate to slide in. Unfortunately, the auctioneer is always kept relatively up to date with the shiniest, newest technology that Disney can spare, and is always one of the most advanced figures on the ride. doesn’t deserve it, he’s slimy and I don’t like him. I should probably mention that he doesn’t actually have a name other than the auctioneer. There’s also a clone of him used in the haunted mansion for the duelling animatronics. loser. 

This is a very long post, so I shall cut it here. I will leave you with an image gallery, further reading and a possible promise of a part two if this post does well. Thank you!

(ok so i actually haven’t got any further reading gathered yet. give me like 6 hours and ill fix it in an edit. i promise. i just want to get this post out asap)

[laurasimonsdaughter]

What are your favourite romantic fairytales?

Hmm that’s a hard one. My childhood favourites were definitely Cinderella and any story that followed the Donkeyskin / All-kinds-of-fur storyline. I still have a big weak spot for those, and I also really like Beauty and the Beast type tales.

But more often than not I prefer stories where the romance isn’t the main point of focus, and I’m not really a ‘love at first sight’ kind of girl, so if I had to name two favourites now…

“The Mermaid’s Ring“ is a Scottish fairy tale that I love with all my heart because it subverts all expectations. It’s probably my all time favourite and you can read a version of it online here. This is the only fairy tale I know that has a genuine slowburn romance and I adore it.

“Sari and the Dragon” is also very good. It’s an Indonesian story that is kind of Beauty and the Beast-esque, but – in my opinion – with much better values. It’s bascially “local girl befriends a dragon and accidentally finds herself a husband”. I was going to give a brief description, but that got very out of hand, so here’s a short retelling under the cut:

Sari and the Dragon

On a beautiful island the reigning king once had a son called Sudja, who was far too fond of going out riding in commoner’s clothing, as far as his father was concerned. The king gave him a grave scolding and told him that it instead of going about in this unprincely manner, he should be searching for a bride. Prince Sudja agrees with his father, but disobeys him immediately by going out hunting with his friends instead. The young men manage to get themselves lost, however, and end up very thirsty and hungry. By following a large water bird they manage to find a stream and a lake to quench their thirst and there, hidden in the reeds, the prince finds a large, golden egg with blue-green spots. Hungrily he cooks it for himself and his friends to eat. But no sooner has he swallowed the first bite, or smoke begins to pour from his mouth and he turns into a frightfully large dragon. His friends flee and the bewildered dragon prince roams around on his own for days on end. Eventually he happens upon a wise old man, whom he begs for help.

The man cannot change him back, but he takes pity on him and brings him to a cave where he can spend his days in secrecy. He tells the local villagers that a pious hermit has taken up residence on the mountain, asking them to bring some food up there every once in a while as a good deed. He also tells him that if a young woman would ever want to massage his scaly belly with her feet, that would give him back his human form.

On this mountain with the dragon’s cave, a little closer to the village, also lives a girl called Sari, who is as beautiful as the sun, the moon, the stars and all flowers combined. She cares for her father, who is blind, and rarely goes into the village, because whenever she does young men try to promise her all kinds of things in return for marrying them. Eventually she just replies: “I’ll marry you if you can cure my father’s blindness.”

One day she forgets to buy something to start her fire with, so she picks some flowers as an offering and goes to ask the hermit in the cave if he might be able to help her. The dragon prince invites her in, promising to give her all the fire she needs. Sari is very startled at fist when she sees him, but the dragon is very polite and a good listener, so she ends up telling him all about her father, their little house and the annoying young men in the village. The dragon gives her a lit torch to take home and a pretty polished pebble as a present.

Sari ends up going back to the dragon to talk about her father again. She has tried all kinds of medicinal herbs and has asked every healer in the village for help, but nothing helps and by now his eyes can’t see anything anymore. When she asks the dragon for help, he gives her a magical white stone and a series of careful instructions on how to use it to cure her father’s blindness. She has to gently soak the stone in jasmine water for two days. After that it has to be removed very carefully and a cloth needs to be sprinkled with the water to wipe her father’s eyes with it, every hour, for three whole days. After that the white stone needs to be placed on his left eye for six hours and then on his right eye for six hours more.

Six days later Sari burst into the cave with a basket full of treats, absolutely breathless with joy (and running up a mountain). Overflowing with gratitude, she tells the dragon that he has cured her dear father. Her father can see again and they are both indescribably happy.

The dragon prince answers that he wasn’t the one that cured him, but Sari, because she was the one that did all the work and cared for him, but then he shyly asks if he could ask her for a return favour even so. She cheerfully agrees and when he asks her to scratch the itchy scales on his stomach with her foot she does it without hesitation.

Suddenly the cave is full of smoke and with a thunderclap and a flash of fire the dragon’s skin bursts open. A large white egg rolls onto the stone floor and when it breaks Prince Sudja comes crawling out of the shell. Wild with relief he cries out that Sari has not only cured her father, but has now also released him from his enchantment. He confesses to the startled young woman that he is the prince of the island and begs her to marry him. She immediately agrees, on the condition that her father can come with them when they leave.

Of course Sudja agrees to this and Sari marries her dragon prince. The king is glad to have his son back and is very pleased with his choice of bride and Sari’s father is just as satisfied. So the four of them all lived happily for a very long time.

[7-wonders]

Pour One Out

Summary: After lashing out at Michael, you find yourself at the receiving end of his rage. You stand up for yourself and decide to, in the words of Tom Haverford and Donna Meagle, “treat yo’self” to a night out with friends. Alcohol and anger make for great choices, right?

Word Count: 3973

A/N & Warnings: Warnings first: Alcohol, physical violence, people being mean to each other, cussing, partying. Hi there! Once again, I’m terrible at posting this story. It’s one of my favorite long-form pieces that I’ve ever written, but I’m still incapable of sticking to a schedule. Anyways, this is part 5 of my ‘Mad Love’ series, which I’ll have linked below. Feedback is always appreciated; leave me a like, reblog, comment, or ask letting me know what you think. My inbox is always open if you want to chat :)

Read Mad Love (part one) HERE | Read Totally F***ed (part two) HERE | Read The Isle of Flightless Birds (part three) HERE | Read A Hard Day’s Night (part four) HERE

The cursor on the screen in front of you blinks constantly, silently asking you when you’re going to start typing. This essay isn’t going to write itself, but you can’t seem to muster up enough willpower to actually start putting words onto the paper. In all honesty, it’s hard to work on homework lately. Being the Antichrist’s unwilling wife and knowing of his plans for the apocalypse really makes essays on Plato’s Allegory of the Cave seem trivial, if they weren’t already trivial before this ordeal started. So you stare at the screen, zoning out while occasionally nodding your head so that it seems like you’re invested in the conversation your friends are having.

You jump when a hand touches your shoulder, staring wide-eyed at the classmate sitting next to you. She’s nice and you’ve worked with her on a few projects for this particular class, but you don’t really talk to her when it doesn’t relate to school. She smiles comfortingly at you while the rest of the group stares at you, all with different levels of bewilderment on their faces.

“What?” You ask, trying to make it seem like you weren’t on a completely different wavelength.

“We’re all getting ready to leave and I asked if you were okay. You’ve been really off recently, no offense.” The same classmate, Kate, repeats.

“I’m fine, I’ve just had a lot on my mind recently.”

“I can tell.” She jokes, gesturing to your blank screen. “I’ll send you the notes and what I’m basing my essay off of, if you want?”

“That’d be great, thank you so much.” You reply gratefully.

You hurriedly pack all of your items in your bag, not wanting to hold the group up anymore than you already have. Luckily the parking lot of the cafe you all met up at is fairly small, which means your cars are all parked next to each other. Still, the trauma from what happened that fateful night in the library parking lot has you locking the doors, jamming your seatbelt into place and driving out of the parking lot almost before everybody else has even gotten their cars started.

It’s probably not the best idea to get Chinese takeout when you’re already on a budget and you definitely have leftovers at home, but you figure you can splurge a little bit tonight. The bag that you’re carrying has you tempted to just sit in your car outside of your apartment and eat it all, but that’d be a little difficult since you have no utensils with you. So you make the trek to your apartment, which seems ever-longer with the food basically calling your name.

Unlocking your door and turning on the lights, the first thing that you see is that your cat is once again on the table, a habit that you’ve been trying to curtail for a few days now. The second thing you see, Michael Langdon petting said cat, has all thought of complaining fleeing your head.

“Jesus Christ!” You gasp, throwing your hands up in fright at the surprise intrusion. By some miracle, your food doesn’t go flying everywhere, so you place your things on the table before you do ‘accidentally’ throw them at Michael.

“Kind of the opposite, actually.” Michael smirks, placing his hands behind his back and walking towards you in the way that you hate so much.

“Michael, what the fuck are you doing here?” You huff, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “It’s Thursday, you’re literally going to see me tomorrow.”

You had actually kind of been expecting for him to show up somewhere in your life. After eating a single bite of toast before rushing out the door after your early weekend last Saturday, you knew he had been pissed. That much had been made clear when he called you Monday, as well as yesterday. A little bit of warning would have been nice, though.

“Well, seeing as how I already used my allotted two calls for the week,” his nose scrunches in distaste at the rule you had set, “I decided that I would drop in and see how my beautiful wife is doing. You never told me you had a cat.” He mentions when the little brat starts rubbing her head against Michael’s hand, begging for attention.

“It never came up in conversation.” You mutter, pushing past him so that you can take back the control of your apartment. “You dropped in, saw I’m fine, got to pet my cat; can you go now?”

Michael pouts teasingly before shrugging.

“Are you really just going to kick me out like that? You’re not a very good hostess, (Y/N).” You squeeze your eyes shut and clench your jaw, patience wearing thin with each second that Michael remains in your home.

Maybe if you had had some forewarning, been given some time to prepare for having to be around him, you wouldn’t be getting so angry. But now, not only has he invaded your home, he refuses to leave as well. Even worse is that stupid fucking smirk that is ever-present on his face. God, if you knew there wouldn’t be any consequences, you’d love to knock that look right off of his face (and maybe a few teeth out, too, although you’re sure that his Antichrist powers would grow them back right away).

“Look. I’m tired, hungry, I have a mountain of homework to do and I still have to finish my laundry. All I want to do is eat my dinner, maybe watch some Netflix while I work on homework, and then go to bed. Please, Michael, just go home.” You plead with him.

“I can help you, you know. Or you could just quit school and mo-”

“What happened to letting me have my alone time?” You question, reminding him of the contract you just went over less than a week ago. The smile fades off of his face as his blue eyes turn to a steely color, and you watch as he clenches and unclenches his fists repeatedly.

“I don’t ask for much from you, (Y/N), just for you to cherish and obey me.” You glower at him when he comes closer, attempting to push him away, but he snatches your wrists easily in one of his large hands. “Do you know how many men-- how many women worship my father? How many of them would have thrown themselves at my feet for a chance to be my bride? But no, my father had to make you as my soulmate. You, a stubborn, whiny little bitch who can’t just shut up and be grateful for the position of power you’re currently in.”

You yank your hands out of his grasp, and before you can even process it he slaps you across the face. One of his large rings caught against your lip, and you bring a hand to your face to catch the blood that’s starting to pool on the floor. Poking your tongue out at your lip, you can feel how it’s already starting to swell from the force of Michael’s hit. The man in question holds his hands up by his head, eyes wide as he pants loudly. He repeatedly shakes his head, like he’s trying to convince both you and him that he didn’t mean to hit you.

“(Y/N)-” He’s silenced when you spit at him. It lands on his cheek, and you watch with eyes blazing as the mixture of saliva and blood trails down his face.

“Get the fuck out of my apartment.” You don’t look him in the eyes, instead choosing to focus on the blood you’re cupping in your hands. When he doesn’t move, you start to yell. “Leave! I swear to God, if you don’t leave, I’ll get my landlord up here and he’ll haul your ass out!”

The door never opens, but when you look up again he’s disappeared. You’re still beyond pissed, but the adrenaline is wearing off and the throbbing in your lip is starting to become more prominent. Stumbling off to the bathroom, you get a washcloth and hold it to your lip to stop the bleeding. Somehow the cut’s not deep, it just landed in an area that produces a lot of blood. You get cleaned up fairly quickly, and within twenty minutes you’re laying on the couch with an ice pack pressed to your lip. The cat sits on your lap, kneading your thighs with her little paws.

“Next time he shows up here, claw his eyes out, okay?” You request. She blinks her large eyes at you once before yawning and rubbing her nose. “Thanks.”

Your phone chimes with a text message that you almost ignore, thinking that it’s Michael. When the name on the text isn’t just the devil emoji that you use for him and is, instead, the name of your best friend, you unlock your phone.

“Hey girl! Thirsty Thursday tonight @ Stadium House, you in?”

Stadium House, the frat house closest to the campus’ football stadium (nobody ever said frat boys were good at naming things), offers what is arguably the best Thirsty Thursday you’ve ever experienced. Frat parties aren’t normally something you enjoy going to, choosing instead to do your social drinking at friends’ houses. Even though they’re not normally your scene, you still find yourself mulling over the idea. It’s been a while since you even drank, let alone went out with your friends and drank. Besides, after the hellish past few weeks, partying doesn’t sound like a bad idea.

“Sure, we riding together?” Within seconds, she’s responded.

“OMG YAY REALLY??? Yeah we’re getting a Lyft. Wanna come over to mine and get ready/pregame?”

“Be over in 10.” You reply.

Since you both live in the same building, all you had to do is get everything together and take the elevator to her floor. The cat, although not pleased that you’re standing, quickly settles down again in your spot as you go to put the ice pack back in the freezer. As you gather the ‘essentials’ for a night out, you realize that this is the first time you’ve been genuinely excited for something since the day you were kidnapped. Locking your door behind you, you head out with a purpose: to get fucked up. Classily fucked up, but still fucked up.

Stadium House is just like you remember it from the last party you attended, which would have been almost a year ago. It’s insanely loud, with enough bass to make your teeth shake. There’s an insane amount of people that you’re sure violates some sort of fire code, none of the furniture matches, and there’s enough booze to give the entire school alcohol poisoning.You’re already mildly buzzed, the alcohol that you pregamed making you feel a good kind of fuzzy. Making your way into the kitchen to grab a beer takes twice the time that it normally would since inebriated-you likes to hug everyone that you see.

“(Y/N)!” A voice shouts. You turn around to see Kate waving at you, beckoning you towards her. “Hey! Thought you didn’t come to these types of parties?”

“Normally I don’t, but tonight I decided to.”

“God, what happened to your lip? Did somebody punch you?” You almost forgot about the cut on your face, having covered it with enough makeup to hide the bruising and swelling.

“Oh, I tripped and busted my face against the stairs earlier today.” Kate grimaces, but obviously believes it.

“Well hopefully that means you won’t bust your face while you’re drunk. Anyways, you wanna play pong with me? I need a partner.” You shrug before nodding, letting her take your hand and lead you to the living room.

All of the couches are pushed up against the walls, allowing people to sit and catch their breaths. There’s a long table set up in the middle of the room, the classic red cups creating pyramids on each side.

“Katie, you found someone!” Kate giggles and blushes when a guy slings his arm around before kissing her cheek.

“(Y/N), this is my boyfriend, Brennan. Brennan, this is (Y/N).” You both wave at each other awkwardly. “Oh my God B, do you know who (Y/N) would be absolutely great with? Lucas!”

Brennan chuckles at the look on your face.

“Kate likes to play matchmaker when she’s drunk.” He explains. “Go play then, everyone’s waiting on you.”

Kate pouts before kissing Brennan and jogging around to the side of the table that you’ve already migrated towards. Picking up a Solo cup, you glance inside to see what the poison of choice is tonight. One sniff of the clear liquid tells you that it’s vodka, and definitely not the good kind. Kate fakes a gag when you hold the cup under her nose, making you giggle.

“Guess we’ll have to play extra good, then.”

Both teams suck, but you somehow manage to eke out the win. Even with the win, you still had to down an ungodly amount of vodka. Couple that with the two beers you’ve had since starting the game, and you’re definitely feeling the effects. Everything has you laughing, from the posters on the wall and your opponents’ jokes to the outfits of some of the women here and how they all line the walls, looking for their prey. You and Kate had almost collapsed against each other when the familiar chorus of ‘oh fuck, shit, BITCH’ coursed through the entirety of the frat house. Another side effect of being drunk is just how loud you are. You know that you’re nearly yelling whenever you open your mouth, but you’ll be damned if people don’t hear what you have to say.

After the game is over, you end up heading outside to get some fresh air. A good number of people have the same idea as you, standing together in small groups. Pushing past a couple making out, you lean against the wall and pull your phone out of your back pocket. There’s a few notifications from various social medias, mainly your friends tagging you in their stories. Unfortunately, there’s also a text from Michael that simply reads ‘I’m sorry.’ The sensible part of you that remains sober tells you to not do what you’re thinking of, but since that part of you is stupid, you click on Michael’s contact anyways. It only rings twice before he picks up the phone, which makes you roll your eyes.

“Hey, are you okay? I’m so sorry about what happened earlier, I shouldn’t have done that and I’ll never do anything like that again.” You hear the words that he’s saying, but they don’t actually register with you while you wait to finally speak.

“Y’know, you’re the--the biggest jerk I’ve ever met!” You huff, sitting down on top of the cool grass.

“I know, and I deserve th-”

“No no no, mister, you listen to ME! All my friends’ boyfriends are so fucking nice, and they care about their girlfriends, and they certainly didn’t kidnap them. One of my friends even told me there’s a guy she knows that’d be--that’d be perfect for me!” You pause to take a sip of the beer in your hand. “But I had to say no, all because I’m married to the fucking Ant-Anti-crust!”

Michael’s silent while you ramble on, waiting patiently for you to finish. You snicker at your oh-so-clever wordplay, repeating ‘Anti-crust’ quietly to yourself.

“(Y/N)...are you drunk?” You sigh, humming a tune that you’re not quite sure of while you look up at the sky.

“A little bit, yeah.”

“Stay where you are, I’m going to come and get you. And don’t hang up the phone!”

“You’re so lame, Michael.” You groan loudly.

“I know I am, so incredibly lame.” He agrees with you.

“Whatever, I gotta tell my friends I’m leaving, ‘else they’ll think I got kidnapped...again.” Stumbling to your feet, you squint your eyes to spot your friends. Sure enough, the three of them are all sitting on the couch under the large oak tree. What is it with frat guys leaving couches outside? Is that like a requirement for frats?

“Why is there a couch outside?” Michael asks incredulously, and you clap a hand over your mouth when you realize that you said that out loud.

“Oops.” Your friends all wave to you, and you fall sideways on top of their laps. “H-hey guys!”

“(Y/N), where the hell did you go?”

“Oh, I kicked ASS at pong. Did you know that I’m good at pong? ‘Cuz I didn’t know I was good at pong.” Your mumble, reaching a hand up to stroke your friend’s cheek. “Anyways, I gotta go. My husband is gonna pick me up.”

You can hear Michael gasp as your friends all laugh and giggle.

“Fuck off, you don’t have a husband!” You’re about to argue before you remember that you totally should not have said that.

“You’re right, I don’t have a husband.” You agree, sobering up long enough to panic before realizing that they’re just going to think you’re joking. “Anyways, my...friend Michael is gonna pick me up.”

“(Y/N)’s gonna get DICK tonight!” She yells, making them all cheer loudly.

Before you can argue, a sleek black sports car pulls up. Michael doesn’t even have to unroll the windows for you to know that it’s him; nobody else would be driving around in a college neighborhood with a car like that. Your friends help push you up, and you grab all of your stuff from where you threw it on the ground. Your goodbyes are all long and exaggerated, all of them hugging you and kissing your cheeks before letting you leave.

You throw open the car door dramatically, sliding not-so-gracefully inside. Michael stares at you, and if you were more sober you’d try and attempt to figure out what he’s thinking. Instead you give him a wide smile, waving excitedly while you try to buckle up.

“Here, let me help you.” He says finally, easily buckling you up.

“Thank youuuuuu!” You sing out, leaning back against the cool leather.

“I, uh, brought you a water.” He hands you a bottle of water, making you gasp excitedly.

“How did you know I was thirsty! You’re the best, Mikey!” You open the bottle easily and down half the bottle in one go.

“Don’t call me that.” He’s obviously not too impressed with having to pick you up, but whatever.

“But-but I like calling you Mikey! It’s my nickname for you! Isn’t that what married couples do? They have nicknames for each other!” You argue while Michael maneuvers through the deserted streets.

He decides that keeping silent is the best course of action, which makes you pout. There’s no music on, and the only sound you can hear is the engine purring. His eyes are focused on the road ahead, so you decide to creep your hand up to touch his hair, which is something you’ve always wanted to do. He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, and you’re pretty sure he thinks you’re going to hit him. He flinches when your hand lands in his hair, sending you into another round of giggles while you feel his golden curls.

“So soft.” You mutter to yourself, running your hand through his hair. “Mikey, I’m gonna need you to drop your haircare routine.”

“Tomorrow.”

“We’re at my apartment! How do you know where I live?”

“I was here four hours ago.” You hum, nodding.

“Riiiiiight.” You basically fling yourself out of the car, bouncing on your heels while you wait for Michael to catch up to you.

He politely slides his arm around yours, keeping you steady while you both make your way to your apartment. Standing still in the elevator makes you realize just how tired you are and you yawn repeatedly and rub your eyes, undoubtedly smudging your eye makeup.

“Drink the rest of your water, please.” Michael requests, gesturing to the near-empty bottle you’re still holding.

You do as he says, letting him guide you to your apartment door. He opens it without using a key, and you look at him with wide eyes.

“Oh no, did I leave the door unlocked?”

“No (Y/N), I unlocked it with my magic.”

“That’s right, I forgot about that! That’s how you left so quickly after you slapped the shit outta me.” Michael winces at your words, but you ignore him and walk into the apartment. “Hi, kitty kitty!” You greet the cat, who doesn’t even bother to wake up.

“Go get some pajamas on, I want to make sure you make it to bed alright before I leave.” You glare at him, but do as he says. When the cat hears his voice, she eagerly jumps up and hops off of the couch, padding towards him and meowing. You stop at the sight, mouth hanging open while he crouches down to pet the cat.

“What the fuck?” You whisper, and Michael has to stifle a laugh when tears start to fill your eyes. “You little traitor.”

Michael remains on the floor while you get changed, giving his attention to the small cat. When it’s been a couple of minutes with no sign of you, he begins to get a little concerned. What trouble can a drunk person get up to when they’re just getting changed. Michael stands up, cautiously making his way to your bedroom. If you are still changing he really doesn’t want to walk in on you, knowing that there will be absolute hell to pay. His concerns are instantly wiped away when he sees you laying in your bed, eyes already closed.

“(Y/N).” Michael whispers, shaking your shoulder. You groan and try to push him away. “(Y/N), you still have makeup on.”

He’s not sure you string together a full sentence, but he does make out the words ‘makeup wipes’ and ‘bathroom,’ which is all that he needs. Thankfully you left the package of makeup wipes on the counter before you left for the evening. Pulling one out of the package, he walks back into your room and crouches next to you. Your nose crinkles at the feeling of the cool cloth against your skin, and your eyes flutter open before closing so he can take your eye makeup off. When he reaches your bottom lip and chin, he frowns.

“I am so sorry.” He apologizes before he starts cleaning your lipstick off. You both know that he’s not just apologizing for the hiss of pain that escapes your mouth.

“You’re so mean, you know that?” You mumble, licking your chapped lips while Michael examines the damage.

“I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know why I did that. I’ve never hit anyone before.” He’s telling the truth; he’s murdered people and animals before, obliterated people’s souls, but he’s never slapped anyone. If there’s one useful thing his grandma taught him while growing up, it’s that you never hit a woman.

“You did it because you’re mean.”

“I promise you, (Y/N), that I’ll never lay a hand on you like that again.” You look at him from under your lashes, causing his heart to clench painfully.

“I’ll hold you to that.” Your eyes close again, and Michael gets up to throw the makeup wipe away.

When he comes back into your room, you’re already asleep. Michael smiles at the small snores that escape you and how absolutely comfy you look, slipping out to grab you some water and pain meds for the morning. Placing it on your bedside table, he spares one last glance at you before going to leave, petting the cat once more and disappearing again.

Tag List: @sammythankyou @let-me-try-mom @ultragibbycentralworld@sebastianshoe @nana15774 @queencocoakimmie @lichellaw @grim-adventures58 @dandycandy75 @trimbooohgodplsnoooo @alexcornerblog@everything-is-awesomesauce @ccodyfern @jimmlangdon @dolceandchalamet @omgsuperstarg @queenie435 @dextergirl12345 @americanhorrorstudies@sloppy-little-witch-bitch26 @coloursunlimited @punkysouls @kahhlo@storminmytwistedmind @1-800-bitchcraft @langdonsdemon @langdonslove @carousallie @cuddletothecake

[sinister-bob]

Jorogumo

In Japan, some spiders are known to possess amazing supernatural powers. One of these, the jorō-gumo, known as the golden orb-weaver in English, is the most well-known of the arachnid yokai. Jorō-gumo are found all over the Japanese archipelago, except for Hokkaido. Their body size averages between two to three centimeters long, but they can grow much larger as they age; some are large enough to catch and eat small birds. These spiders are renowned for their large size, their vividly beautiful colors, the large and strong webs they weave, and for the cruel destruction they wreak on young men. Their name is written with kanji that mean “entangling bride.” However, these characters were added on to her name much later to cover up the original meaning of the name: “whore spider.”

Jorō-gumo live solitary lives, both as spiders and as yokai. When a golden orb-weaver reaches 400 years of age, it develops magical powers and begins to feed on human prey instead of insects. They make their nests in caves, forests, or empty houses in towns. They possess a cunning intelligence and a cold heart, and see humans as nothing more than insects to feed on. They are skillful deceivers and powerful shapeshifters, usually spending their lives appearing as young, sexy, and stunningly beautiful women.

Jorō-gumo’s favorite prey is young, handsome men who are looking for love. When a jorō-gumo spots a man she desires, she invites him into her home, and he is usually never seen again. They can spin silk threads strong enough to ensnare a grown man so that he cannot escape. They also have a powerful venom that can slowly weaken a man day by day, allowing the spider to savor the long and painful death her victim suffers. They can control other, lesser spiders, even employing fire-breathing spiders to burn down the homes of any who grow suspicious of them. A jorō-gumo can operate like this for years and years, even in the middle of a busy city, while the desiccated skeletons of hundreds of youth build up in her home.

The Edo period legend has it that a beautiful woman would entice a man into a quiet shack and begin to play a Biwa, a type of Japanese lute. While the victim was distracted by the sound of the instrument, she would bind him in spider silk threads in order to devour the unsuspecting person as her next meal.

According to legend, when a spider turns 400 years old, it gains magical powers. Stories of Jorōgumo can be found in Edo period works, such as "Taihei-Hyakumonogatari" (太平百物語) and "Tonoigusa" (宿直草). In many of these stories, Jorōgumo changes its appearance into a beautiful woman to ask a samurai to marry her, or takes the form of a young woman carrying a baby (which may turn out to be a spider's eggsack).

Drawings, such as the one in Toriyama Sekien's book Gazu Hyakki Yakō, depicts Jorōgumo as a half-woman/half-spider surrounded by her spider children.

A Jorōgumo is also known as the mistress of the Jōren Falls (浄蓮の滝) in Izu, Shizuoka. The legend has it that a man was resting at the foot of the waterfall when his feet were bound with a vast number of spider threads. To free himself, he cut the threads and tied them to a stump of a tree, which was pulled from the ground and drawn into the waters.

After this incident at the Jōren waterfall, the villagers became afraid and stopped going to the waterfall. However, one day, a woodsman logger from out of town, unaware of the story of the Jōren Jorōgumo, began cutting wood in the area. After he accidentally dropped his axe into the water, he dove into the pool to find it; then a beautiful woman appeared and returned the axe, telling him never to tell anyone about her. While the logger kept the promise, he began to feel anxious about the incident. One day while he was drunk, he told his secret and finally felt at ease. He then fell into a deep sleep never to awaken again.

In a variation of the story of the Jōren waterfall, the logger falls in love with the woman Jorōgumo and starts visiting the falls every day to see her. But as time passes, he starts growing weaker and weaker. A monk from a neighboring temple believes the logger has been trapped by the spider, so he and the logger go to the waterfall together, and the monk reads a Buddhist Sūtra there. While the monk reads the sutra, spider threads appear from the pool and attempt to wrap themselves around the logger, but the monk shouts his Buddhist chant and they disappear. Though the logger soon realizes that the woman was a spider, he cannot forget his love for her. He then asks for help from a Tengu, master of the Yōkai of the mountain, but the Tengu forbids this love. The logger was unwilling to give up his love for the Jorōgumo. While running back to the waterfall he is caught by the silk threads and finally falls into the water, never to surface again.

There are many stories throughout Japan of a tree stump being pulled into the water in place of the lumberjack from the previous tale. One such example is that of Kashikobuchi (賢淵), Sendai. Here, just after the stump is pulled into the pool, the lumberjack hears a voice saying, "How clever, how clever" (賢い、賢い / Kashikoi, Kashikoi). For this event, the area came to be called Kashikobuchi, which literally means "clever abyss". In Kashikobuchi, the Jorōgumo is worshiped as a goddess who protects people from drowning, and a monument and a small Torii still stand at the location.

[a-gay-bloodmage]

—Ripe—

Pairing: None

Pairing Type: N/A

Words: 1,517

Warnings: AGB's Ink 2019, Dead Body, Accidental Necromancy, Graphic Descriptions of Gore, Body Horror, General Ashavise Content Really, Surprisingly Wholesome

Ashavise threw another rock into the lake with a huff.

She watched it sink to the bottom, the crystal clear water's disturbed surface making it dance on its way down. It came to rest among other rocks, thrown to the depths in similar tantrums.

It wasn't fair.

She was in her tenth year, now, and still treated like such a child. She knew she ought to be well on her way to developing her own unique skills, but, so far, none had made themselves known. She was useless when she tried to cook or hunt, and she hated needlework with a passion. Her long, elven ears flicked in annoyance.

Looking up at the sky, she decided that she was old enough to wander a little further. It was only mid-afternoon, and she doubted grandfather would mind if she stayed out a little longer. The woods were safe.

Still, she made sure to be quiet, her small, bare feet hardly disturbing the soft, springtime earth. She followed a narrow, beaten trail, curiosity pulling her along. It was too wide to be a deer trail, and too narrow to be a bear's. Something large, but not too large.

Like... a human.

She'd heard that human tribes lived in the area of the mountains her elven clan was travelling through, but she'd never seen them. She never wanted to. The elders told her that they were large, fearsome things, foolish but still cunning. They wouldn't hesitate to sneak up on an elven child and snatch her, take her to their vile settlement and force her to be an enslaved child-bride.

She shook her head, ignoring the fear and the locks of ginger hair that fell into her face. She didn't doubt the elders, not at all, but she wouldn't let it stop her. She was little, sure, but if she ever wanted to prove herself, she couldn't keep running home.

The trail was muddy and littered with leaves, coating her pale feet in foul-smelling black muck. She didn't mind. On occasion, her skirt would get snagged on a branch, leaving tarnished red strings hanging in the bushes. She didn't mind that either. 

Before she knew it, the woods suddenly ended, opening up to a cliff. She was thankful she hadn't been running. The trail turned and along she followed, the drop ever so close by her side. 

The woods were far quieter the further along the path she went, the usual birdsongs falling away into silence. Strange black raptors circled overhead and aside the cliff edge, their shrill cries echoing off the mountains. On occasion, they would be lifted up by the cold wind that shot between the peaks, riding the breeze ahead of her. They weren't frightening, though. They didn't circle above her, or get too close. They were preoccupied with whatever lay up ahead.

Her cheeks were red from the mountaintop cold and her legs were sore, but she was determined to follow the path. Perhaps the path would offer something more than a walk, perhaps it would help guide her to the magic she so desperately sought. She’d heard enough stories to believe they were applicable to her, too. 

The path ended quite suddenly. Several paces ahead stood a flat rock sitting ever so close to the edge, nothing but a semicircle of loose dirt and pebbles surrounding it. Several of the large black birds were perched on the altar-like stone, heads bowed down.

As quietly as she could, Ashavise creeped closer, trying not to disturb them. She stumbled a little on an unseen root, and the birds quickly took off. They must not see people often, if they were so frightened of a child. Or perhaps they saw them far too often, and knew better than to stay around when one came by. As the last bird flew away, she noticed that they hadn't been the only things on the rock. Something hung over the edge of the stone, mangled and bloody. 

Gripped with a sort of morbid curiosity, she creeped closer, her usually narrow eyes wide.

It smelled like herbs and rot, and as she approached, she could tell why. A man's body had been the subject of the birds' meal, his half-nude corpse missing several chunks of flesh. Despite the gore, Ashavise wasn't disgusted. She stood on her toes, hands carefully gripping the stone. None of the usual insects had taken up residence among the torn flesh, and she suspected that it had something to do with the strange herbal perfume coating the body.

"Hello," she whispered, unsure why she felt compelled to speak to the body. She took note of the short, rough, black hair on the corpse’s face and its small, round ears. "You're the first human I've ever met." She smiled. It was fascinating. The human was a giant thing, just like the elders said. She suspected its broad chest used to be large and covered in muscle before the birds got to it, leaving it to cave in without the support of its organs. The strange ink on the torn skin looked nothing like the elven tattoos she was accustomed to. She wondered if the human would have killed her or taken her as an elven child bride if it were alive. She reached out slowly to touch it, childish wonder compelling her to figure out whether or not humans died and stayed dead like normal people. She reached out toward the strange, slightly-eaten shoulder.

She hissed in pain and withdrew her hand from the corpse as soon as she touched it, feeling as if she'd been burned. Tears welled up in her eyes and she looked down at her palm to assess the damage.

Nothing.

She looked from her hand to the corpse, and realized that neither had been effected.

So she touched it again. 

The burn wasn't as bad, and even as it hurt, curiosity numbed the pain. She touched it once more. The burn didn't come.

Instead, the once motionless corpse spasmed and she felt a jolt of energy run through her small frame. She fell back on her rear end, looking up in awe and slight fear as a half-eaten and mangled hand gripped the edge of the stone like she had. Empty eye sockets soon looked over the edge of the altar, head cocked and long black hair shifting in the early spring breeze as the corpse stared down at her.

"Hello," she said, breathless.

The corpse let out a gargling moan, paying no mind to the fact that blood was spilling out of its chest and dripping down into the mud. A chunk of what she assumed to be its lung landed on the altar with a wet slap.

She pushed her hair out of her face, smearing mud on her cheek. "Hello," she repeated, swallowing hard, "I'm... Ashavise."

The corpse groaned again, slowly hauling itself to the edge of the stone slab, appearing to have no control over the lower half of its body. It reached out to touch her, and she instinctively scooted back.

"Do... humans normally do this?" The corpse shook its head no slowly. It pointed at her with one of its strange fingers, small chunks of gore still attached to the slightly yellowed bones. "Me?" Her eyebrows pressed together in question. "What did...?" She gasped, a smile breaking out on her face. "I- I did that! When I touched you! And now you're- you're not dead!" She stood up, overjoyed. "Sorta-not-dead," she laughed. "Still pretty dead, but not all the way!" She was bouncing on her heels, breathless with excitement. "Oh, wait until grandfather and- and the elders hear about you!"

The corpse groaned, its face twitching like it was trying to smile. She let herself be touched as it placed one of its bony hands on her, leaving blood to darken her loose green shawl. It drew its hand back for but a moment before reaching down, its body all but lying flat on the stone, and grabbing her hand. She knew it wasn't trying to hurt her, so she stayed as still as her excited self could manage. It attempted to pry open her gently closed fist, and she assisted by offering up her palm. Dangling its hand over hers, it took only a few seconds for two of its fingerbones to break off and drop into her palm, severed tendons dangling down and tickling her skin.

"Thanks," she said, voice soft as she looked up to the strange revenant. It simply nodded before slowly returning to how it had been before she came—arms to the side, empty eye sockets staring up at the cold blue sky. "Goodbye, then," she said, smiling at the now motionless corpse, her grip on the bones in her hand tight.

She watched as the birds circled overhead, smiling up at her lucky black harbingers before turning and walking back down the muddy path, walking no longer as a little girl, but as a growing young lady with magic all her own.

[impatient14]

This is my contribution to the thelostspecial website... 

AND I THINK I”VE GOT Something HUGE.

So, I was thinking, what if by “original source” they mean not the published dates of the original stories, but the actual dates of the stories when they happened within the story? As in, the dates Watson used as he wrote out his adventures with Sherlock. What’s more “original” than Watson himself?

If you take those dates into account, what order would the stories be in? 

 I found this website that details the stories chronologically that way, and the 40th one is listed as The Veiled Lodger, published February 27 (!!!)

YOU HAVE TO READ THIS STORY RIGHT NOW

That links you to the entire story, but here is Wikipedia’s blurb:

Holmes is visited by Mrs. Merrilow, a landlady from South Brixton who has an unusual lodger who never shows her face. She saw it once accidentally and it was hideously mutilated. This woman, formerly very quiet, has recently taken to cursing in the night, shouting "Murder, murder!" and "You cruel beast! You monster!" Also, her health has taken a turn for the worse, and she is wasting away. Mrs. Merrilow has brought this case to Holmes’s attention as her tenant, Mrs. Ronder, will not involve the clergy or the police in something that she would like to say. She has told her landlady to mention Abbas Parva, knowing that Holmes would understand the reference.

Indeed he does. It was a most tragic case in which a circus lion somehow got loose and savaged two people, one of whom was killed, and the other badly disfigured. The latter is apparently this lodger. The former was her husband. Holmes could make little of the case at the time, but perhaps if someone had actually hired him, the outcome would have been different. As it was, the inquest ruled that Mr. Ronder was the victim of death by misadventure. Still, even the local police were a bit disturbed at the time by some seeming inconsistencies in the accounts. For example, the lion was part of an act which Mr. and Mrs. Ronder performed right in its cage, and they were the ones who fed it. Why had it suddenly turned on its feeders? Why had it not tried to escape? Who was this man that several people heard screaming when supposedly Mr. Ronder had already been killed?

Upon arriving at Brixton, Holmes and Watson are shown into Mrs. Ronder’s room, which she seldom leaves. She is wearing her veil. Her purpose, it seems, is to make a clean breast of the matter before she dies. She tell Holmes and Watson that Mr. Ronder was a terrible husband, cruel and violent in the extreme, even to the circus animals, but he didn’t care, even though he wound up in the dock for it several times. He was very rich and the fines meant nothing.

Mrs. Ronder also had an extramarital lover - Leonardo, the circus strongman. Together, he and Mrs. Ronder formed a plan to eradicate the ruthless Mr. Ronder. As part of the plan, Leonardo made a club with five nails in it, which could deliver wounds that might be mistaken for those of a lion’s paw. Then one night at Abbas Parva, a small village in Berkshire where the circus was camped for the night, Mrs. Ronder and Leonardo carried out their plan. When Mr. and Mrs. Ronder went to the lion's cage to feed it, Leonardo crept up behind them and smashed Mr. Ronder’s head with the club, and Mrs. Ronder released the lion to make it appear that it had broken free and done the deed. But the lion, having sensed the blood of the now-slain Mr. Ronder, pounced on Mrs. Ronder instead, badly chewing her face up in the process. At the sight of this, Leonardo started screaming and ran to get help from the other circus members. He could have saved his lover himself by using the club on the lion, but he was too cowardly.

Mrs. Ronder could not bring herself to implicate Leonardo in her husband’s murder at the inquest, and is only now telling Holmes and Watson this story because she believes that she will soon die. She never saw or heard of Leonardo again, and later learned that he had drowned. Ever since the night of the incident, she has lived alone and veiled. Holmes only has advice to offer in this situation; realizing that Mrs. Ronder is contemplating suicide, he reminds her that her life is worth something as an example of patient suffering in an impatient world. She responds to this by lifting her veil, and the sight is ghastly.

Nevertheless, Holmes receives a bottle of prussic acid from Mrs. Ronder two days later. She was going to use it to kill herself, but upon considering what Holmes told her, she apparently thought better of it.

!!!!

Not only do we have a murderous circus animal (like Murderous Mary the elephant as given to us on the website), we have a reference to two lovers who kill the spouse of one of the lovers. This act leaves one lover drowned and the other disfigured and suicidal. This is also the story where we get the line,

“Your life is not your own. Keep your hands off it.”

A woman wears a veil the entire story, not unlike The Abomindable Bride, another special of BBC’s Sherlock and the word “Fate” is used multiple times and is always capitalized...”Faith?” Another tie in to TLD.

Other interesting pieces from the entire story include:

“The discretion and high sense of professional honour which have always distinguished my friend are still at work in the choice of these memoirs, and no confidence will be abused. I deprecate, however, in the strongest way the attempts which have been made lately to get at and to destroy these papers. The source of these outrages is known, and if they are repeated I have Mr Holmes's authority for saying that the whole story concerning the politician, the lighthouse, and the trained cormorant will be given to the public. There is at least one reader who will understand.“

So, there is a case that many are “outraged” over and Watson has the authority to release the entire true story of the “politician, lighthouse, and train cormorant” (type of aquatic bird) to the public. (Politician=Mycroft, lighthouse=Sherrinford or Barts Roof?, Cormorant=Euros or Moriarty? Perhaps the Aquatic version of Moriarty’s Magpie?) And there is a small population that will understand the story completely. Ahem. That’s us.

“You say that Mrs Ronder has been your lodger for seven years and that you have only once seen her face.'”

Could be nothing, or it could be an interesting way to describe it being seven episodes since we’ve seen the real Sherlock.

“...in an evil moment I became his wife. From that day I was in hell, and he the devil who tormented me.“

Lots of devil and hell references this series, all of them connected to Mary or Moriarty in some way.

So...what does it mean?

Well, the story is clearly pointing to  John’s Alibi theory, but it also harkens back to TRF. Maybe, just maybe, the Alibi isn’t for killing Mary, but for killing one of Mary’s mirrors. Moriarty?

Perhaps in The Lost Special, the solution to Sherlock’s problem about how to defeat Moriarty (where he is currently in his MP trying to figure out) is that he includes John in the plan. They plot and plan Moriarty’s murder, just as the lovers do in The Veiled Lodger. Seeing as how Leonardo is the one who drowns, I’d say he is the John mirror and Mrs. Ronder is the Sherlock Mirror. This would especially make sense because it is Mrs. Ronder’s husband they are killing, and Moriarty is more intimately associated with Sherlock than John. It is safe to assume that John will not be cowardly though. We can predict that these two will have formed the perfect alibi for Moriarty’s murder, since the lovers in the story were never apprehended.

We can also look to TAB for solace, as Moriarty was defeated in that episode by John, after having shown up to fight by Sherlock’s side. Sherlock still jumps off the cliff though, which would imply that he does end up faking his death, but with John now in the know. They walk off into the sunset, as Mark all but confirmed they would with his, “Benedict and Martin aren’t walking off into the sunset” bit.

What say you tinhatter brood??

@tjlc @teapotsubtext @ebaeschnbliah @the-7-percent-solution @loveismyrevolution @may-shepard @joolabee @jenna221b @shadowfax044 @tjlcisthenewsexy

[sjworldtour]

29/11/19 Waves and Warungs on Balangan Beach

We've spent a fantastic 5 days on Balangan Beach in Bali, surfing super clean waves and doing more relaxing than we ever thought we could tolerate. 

Balangan beach is surprisingly brilliant. We chose it somewhat randomly out of the zillion beaches of Bali, and we really lucked out - the whole place seems to exist for people to surf, eat, and chill out. Although generally both of us would prefer an action packed day to hours by the pool with a book, we've both found that after two and a half months of not staying in the same place for more than a few nights we are well in need of some nothing time. 

We're staying at Aman Gati hotel, even though on Airbnb it was called Gde's bungalow. This makes zero difference except that the taxi driver from Denpasar airport had no idea where to take us. We found it in the end though. Our room is a little wooden cabin with a deck out the front overlooking the pool, and luxurious things like a private bathroom and aircon. It's been lovely to have space to ourselves after so long in shared dorms. Just out of the back gate of the hotel is an arid clifftop with gorgeous sunset views, and steps down to the beach itself.

The beach has a chilled out friendly atmosphere, with zero hassling but plenty of little wooden warungs (shack cafes) and surf hire shacks. In just a few days the locals we have been hiring boards from started acting like our best friends, calling "hey brother” every time we walk past and making jokes about how we like to sleep in. Food in the warungs is super cheap, although portions are not huge, and Joey has made a good effort at having mie goreng every single day. 

The beach itself is sandy but the tidal platform is a smooth rock reef, so best surfed at high tide to avoid contact with the floor. The afternoon we arrived the tide was out and we saw a few black spiky sea urchins so we were pretty keen to keep feet up at all costs. We've been surfing each morning around the high tide, getting a little later each day. Although it's busy in the water, it's super friendly and although there are inevitable getting-in-the-way occasions, neither of us has been shouted at or stropped at once. We both feel like our surfing has come on a lot in just a few days, although both our arms and backs are weary from all the paddling. 

After lunch in one of the warungs, we've been coming back to the hotel each day to hide from the sun in the afternoon, alternating between swimming in the gorgeous pool, relaxing in the shade, and hiding altogether in the room when it gets really hot. Australia was hot and we're used to it by now, but the main difference here is the humidity. 

We've gone on a few afternoon walks - the first day we walked inland along a dusty lane buzzing with scooters (we can't really understand where everyone is going, but there are always loads of scooters about) to an ATM and local supermarket. We dropped of most of our clothes at a rustic looking laundry where they spoke very little English, then browsed the exotic looking snack and biscuits in the shop. 

The next day we tried to walk round to Dreamland beach - the next beach along to the south. Although it's really close as the bird flies, it ended up being a long walk as this area is definitely not set up for people walking, and there was no sensible way across the dry gully at the south end of Balangan beach. Sam found a small path that scrambled into the gully and out again, so we got ourselves successfully on to the Dreamland side of the headland, but then after walking across some fields were met by a large and imposing wall between us and the road. We walked up to a strange gatehouse type building where three very perplexed guys were looking at us like we were completely crazy, then pointed us to a rickety ladder over the wall. We continued along the road to Dreamland, past a ghost-town-like waterpark and a construction site for a large resort that has been abandoned mid project. All a bit of a strange area. When we eventually got down to the beach, we were pleased to have done the walk but more pleased as Dreamland beach hasn't got a patch on Balangan. We entered via a walkway along a stream crammed with touristy shops and people calling us to buy their sunglasses and tat. We accidentally got caught into a conversation about a promotion scheme for a hotel complex, where apparently they would take us for free the next day to look around and then give us fabulous prizes, no obligation necessary. There was one place to eat on the beach and it was scarily expensive, so we walked north along the beach and, as it was low tide, were very happy to find that we could scramble on the rocks all the way round the headland back to our lovely Balangan. We got back in time to collect our clothes from the laundry hurray.

The next day we tried the other direction, walking inland and then North to Kubu beach. We had to ignore a few "private” signs but we made it down some steps to the beach, which it became patently obvious is a private beach for the very fancy hotel on the cliffs there. Hotel guests don't even need to tackle steps as they've built an impressive lift structure clinging to the cliffside. We wandered round amidst sun loungers and fire pits, a bit twitchy that we would be told off any second, then found a quiet place by scrambling round some rocks so we could sit and watch the waves without being seen. 

Most days we've been out on the cliff tops to watch the sunset around 6:30pm - there's a gorgeous view over the headland and the pastel coloured sea. One day we walked over to the point between us and Kubu, and were met by the completely surreal sight of about 15 brides and grooms taking sunset photos. All in a line along the clifftop, some couples had spindly little tables with champagne and flowers, some had teams of support to hold veils out in just the right way, and some were looking hot, tired, and a bit over it all, presumably at the end of a very long day. 

We've tried a few places for dinner, but our favourite is the Brothers hotel next door. On our first evening joey ordered nasi goreng coconut and it turned up in an actual coconut, with a spoon to scrape out all the soft white flesh yum. We tried going to a different neighbouring hotel, La Joya, one day, agreeing to splash out a bit on a menu that was more UK prices than Bali. We balked a little when we arrived and noticed that they add 21% charge  to everything, and then decided to bail when we ordered a large bottle of water and they told us they only had the premium one that cost over twice as much. Instead we went to Flowerbud and had a huge quantity of tasty yummy food, and they gave us a party invitation. 

The party was last night, at Lucky Wins hotel at the far end of the beach. We didn't really understand the various complicated ticket/offers/vouchers system, but managed to work it out and got ourselves two sugary cocktails and a bucket of beers. We sat on low squishy chairs and enjoyed a slightly crazy reggae-esque band who warmed up for longer than they played, but were excellent fun. The DJ that followed was similarly bizarre, mixing heavy drum beats with the likes of the dirty dancing soundtrack.

I think it has come across that we love it here, from the beautiful hotel pool, the five tiny puppies gambolling on the steps up the cliff (which get unreasonably oven-like at midday), the cat that jumps out of the wheelie bin making Sam jump every time, the friendly locals and the forgiving surf. 

[flairina]

Flair’s Dreams, January 2018

Certainly been a while. Some of these are written in shorthand, so if you bother browsing through these, forgive me for that. It gets better later on.

1/3/18: (2:00-6:45)

I end up inside Shin Megami Tensei world (again- it's apparently happened at least twice before) due to someone taking an unwanted photo of me, and thinking that I'd like it to do such. The SMT world in this case is a giant, ever shifting tower of some sort, which rumbles as if hit by an earthquake while changing. I end up in a section controlled by Alice (the demon) called "Tick Tock Goes the Clock", with decor describable as the inside of a building from Alice in Wonderland where the main colors are pink, white, and gold. I have some sort of feud with the White Rabbit (the guy/demon who brought me in here?) before I'm finally left alone. I try to remember the way a few demon conversations proceed (the short mushroom demon likes men and alcohol, the four winged cerulean bird thing thinks pants are kind of cool, etc) when the tower shakes, and an 8-demon procession turns down the hall. Some are the bird thing but there are two kinds I've not seen before, one of them a sort of floating blue horse thing. They enter the room on the left (structured like a classroom) and emerge from the other door, behind me, singing and generally unaggressive. Two girls who are permanent residents here are also part of the line, and notice me. Brooke (a black girl with long, thin pleats/braids) says hi, while the other girl (a white girl with her hair curling up at the front off of her head like a squirrel's tail) asks her how I keep getting here. I tell her it's sheer random chance, as is how I keep getting out of here. The demon's singing appears to be summoning a wedding chapel, which I stop through my own music somehow, causing it to make a weird whiffling noise as it blinks back out of existence.

1/5/18: (Powers Dream?)

I'm either "playing" as, or actually am Samus (Metroid), and am currently in the middle of Metroid Prime 3, which requires me to ascend a space pirate "tower" ("urchin"-like room was notable). This is a late game area, and the entire 3D outline of it can be seen on the map. I make it to a normal office room (somewhat out of place) filled with space pirates, and use the photon beam to eliminate them. The charged shots are purple, and track/hone in on the enemies. There is a "tooth" language that only the pirates can access/understand, but by pulling them out of the stomach of a dead one in the corner (it ATE the teeth for some reason), I should be able to understand it soon. I'm no longer Samus, and decide to raid the nearby wardrobe for something to wear, but mom is suddenly in the room, trying to move stuff out. In the closet behind me, there are lotions on the top shelf, including a "snuggling" lotion.

A strange species of creature catches four DnD-type characters (all human men) and intends to transform them, allowing a single last request from each. They then twist the requests to make the transformations ironic, turning the group into a girl, a mutant raccoon, Princess Daisy (request involved a sneer), and a ____ (ICR what, but it wasn't human). The non-humans alleviate this by make themselves look like copies of the girl and Daisy member, and progress on, thinking that someone can reverse this in the area below a nearby canyon. Just as they're about to head down, they all transform back- but as each other instead of themselves, which shocks and frustrates them.

1/8/18: (2:??-7:20)

There is a person who is repeatedly turning into combinations of three different animals in order to fight something in a dark, pseudo-futuristic room. I can see them on screen to shoot at one point, and the twins from Flip Flappers are involved.

A giant snake "person" (just looked like a two-story tall snake) attacks me and others in a city alley. It can't tell people apart easily, but recognizes me from smelling my runny nose somehow, and comes after me.

The tent I was sleeping in outside an apartment is torn apart by the weather, which picked it up and proceeded to rain, HARD, solely above my stuff.

I need to give an example of something I have "triumphed in" for a required stage show. I'm slightly late, and the first example I give has something to do with electric powers? I then switch to saying I triumph in comedy itself.

1/10/18:

2D version of a 3D game, sand "castle" area, stars to collect Mario-style, giant mantis creature (boss?) in 3D Pikmin-esque leaf area, fought using morph ball (Metroid)?

1/11/18: (9:00-9:45 and 10:00-10:22, naps) (1:17-6:45)

Endbringer attack (Worm), it’s The Simurgh, “sometimes they stay dead for days, but they always get back up” (the Endbringers can be killed, but they don’t stay down), I’m at work, Blasto’s stuff turns everything inside purple and monstrous, and dogs become zerg-dogs, I’m Taylor, I run outside, “unlike inside, here, the bodies were real” I think to myself, envisioning them, except there actually aren’t any, I can’t even see the destruction, find some old guy and walk with him, there’s a giant model of earth to the right, see places on the continents being struck with poofs of red smoke, it represents something that’s actually happening, one barrels right into us, something to do with the endbringer attacks, some other guy with us now, old guy climbs into treehouse, which is thankfully unoccupied, speaks a little about how fire extinguishers are less effective in the arctic, then falls asleep in a bed in the back, me and the other guy sleep ourselves, and wake to the kid and his friend recording something nearby, they don’t notice us until I stand (I’m me again), they protest my presence, tell the kid to help me wake the guy in the bed up, they’re related?, go to scientist guy’s large yellow house, guys named Rick and Ray live here, they have a “human tainting” chamber/tube, think I’m watching videos at class/work and just getting really immersed, stop and wake as a result

I’m in a movie theater watching an animated movie, and become convinced that because the movie has characters named Rick and Ray and I JUST dreamed about that that I got the info about the future, movie ends, person in snake cosplay, accidentally head off in a sideways moving elevator for 50 minutes, come back, see giant gel monster things, fancy plaza with tennis courts and such, night sky looking ceiling, family has been waiting

I receive information that implies I am the girl who “won the game” and left for Heaven 6 months ago. I took “The Lilac Path”, was compared to a flower, and either literally was or was represented by a white, harsh featured woman’s mask with thorned briars behind it.

1/12/18: (1:??-9:30) (Powers Dream)

Fast vampire guy with long hair and Klaus (BBB), huge and intricate mansion, they’re after me/her (multiple tenses- I was “playing” as the female MC from a forum quest?), there’s a person cannon in the next room which is somehow Homestuck related, vote on song to play as we send off to another house, decide on Here from The Ancient Magus’ Bride, I still have pills left, but didn’t realize until I literally bit into them.

Five story playground equipment in backyard of house me and two girls broke into, we go inside, Yoda uses Spaceballs to distract a bunch of stormtroopers so he can turn them into water, I ask how that makes any sense, The Force can’t do that

Filthy purple room with green stringy things everywhere, on a team playing “hide and seek” (keep three items away from other team), room is too small and empty for this, novel new strategy, I distract the seeker when he comes in by fighting him with a rubber sling ball, and time runs out

A black guy with dreads/braids is sitting in a mostly black room at the top of a tower, a silver staircase leading inside. I’m not him, but can feel him comb his hair, somehow. He threatens Hannah Montana, until I, as Ayumura Tamako (but seen from a third person perspective), along with some tall guy, break through the outside wall (which has only air beneath it) and interrupt. I throw some sort of purple laser boomerang at the black guy, the results of which ICR, before I start to feel as if I’m just imagining this part, like I’m just daydreaming. Not liking this, I decide to leave this dimension, and fly(?) outside to do so.

1/13/18: (1:??-9:30) (Taste Dream)

There is a "Dream Dungeon" game, played in the style of SMT: Strange Journey, with a black and white map. There are small, reddish-pink bipedal creatures with oversized arms called "Neebles", that are extra powerful compared to the normal enemies, but I beat the first one fairly easily all the same.

In order to change fate, I need to alter a teddy bear/my alarm/my phone, which allows me to wake up early.

Card game where pictures must be matched, in a kitchen, blue and white buttercream doughnut I can taste, need Dad to help me snap a lobster's neck, which I think I'll be able to taste as well, something about planetary alignment and 413, I suck root beer from a fish grenade thing

1/14/18:

List of chapters, two centered around betrayals by cultists with red robes, Mom and I in a light white-greenish hallway, star projections on our feet, they signal that this is the spot to leave from, we spin to teleport out, we were on chapter 6, but then chapter 9 happens

Good, bad, and normal dream all forced to revolve around the same thing: a yellow and red thing with scales.

Make it to "banned" area by getting banned, made completely of sand colored blocks (seamless), indoor confinement with a single reception desk, place a portal there so it's a good thing (would have taken forever to get there otherwise).

Competition, sports style events, grannies and ___ on one side, robots and ___ on the other, I end up winning (most were gun events), take granny as prize, it'll all be connected soon anyways so it doesn't really matter...

1/15/17: (2:00-6:30)

I'm in my house, upstairs, while everyone is sleeping. I head downstairs, and Mom (who was asleep upstairs) sits up from the couch and screams at me, seriously startling me.

I'm playing/editing a game, from the inside, via the dev mode. The beginning mostly consists of large colorful platforms (with things on them) and floating bars (balance beams), some of which have yellow "slowdown" pads on them, all floating in the sky. There are two large, worm-like dragons with dark blue shell armor flying in the sky above. I passed by the Sun and Moon God area before, and end up going back to interact with them. They stand on small platforms above a larger central one. The sun god has eight arms. They speak to me, but their dialogue implies that you shouldn't be able to see both at once- I can, because I'm still in dev mode, which I'd forgotten. Cursing, I restart in normal mode, with a lot of progress lost.

The setting is a school, where many of the teachers are special (supernatural or otherwise) in some way. A wiry black "electric gremlin" locks 33 other monsters in with it in a room to play hide and seek, or rather "hide and shock" with them. In the hallways, there are several vocaloid-like beings who have "load" put upon them whenever a video starring them is uploaded. This existence is hard on the original/first of them, a girl with shoulder-length brown hair and a yellow and pink outfit, as because of the other's popularity they won't ever leave or fade away (while she will?). Phoenix Wright is nearby, and becomes angry with her, rushing at her to attack. I'm also there, and try to hold him back, but he begins transforming into a giant blade armed monster thing, making this difficult. I try disabling him with elbow strikes to the head, and ICR what happens after. Elsewhere, in a giant gray stone cavern with a thin spread of water covering the floor (possibly in the school), there are a ton of people milling about. A mouse cursor (moved by someone unknown) that can jet water out of its tip climbs up a rock near a big deal villainess woman in a black dress. Her name is revealed to be something familiar (something with "night" in it), just before she grabs and restrains a tall black man with pink dreads, who slashes at her with his hands and wounds her arm. She's intrigued, as that hurt her more than she's been hurt in the last ___ (some number of hundreds of) years. She tears away his disguise, revealing him to be Death the Kid (Soul Eater). Because he's in danger, a portal forms and teleports him out. I'm left somewhat confused however, as the "disguise" person is still around. The scene then plays out again, fully animated this time (it wasn't originally), no different except that DTK briefly turns into an orc. Above/upstairs, a group with bulky red and yellow cloaks (like bulky, darker versions of the Journey characters) and names based on angels have been waiting to leave this place, and are disappointed when the portal (the upper half of which was sticking through the ceiling) quickly closes. Later, an older male teacher fed up with doing nothing, along with me, decide to go looking for whatever is going on around here after hearing about the animal colonies that were here being gone (only the moving pictures/drawings remain). A horse and maid were previously kidnapped from here; if we could find the horse we'd have a lead. We proceed down a long hallway with rooms in the middle, but I keep getting ultra tired, and have to keep resisting sleep. We get to the front area, which has a setup like a shop with fully stocked shelves (mostly wigs?). The teacher decides we need wigs, and steals one. I grudgingly take another (a tokyo ghoul one), but don't think I'll be able to fit my hair under it. The teacher tells me to just do the best I can until we get downstairs. I think to myself that I'm glad he's having fun at least.

1/19/18:

Game with woman in blue who dies, I wonder how it affects Mom and Ian's dreams, Ian wants me to watch Castlevania "M___ of Blood" because it ties up plot threads from Dawn of Sorrow, but I don't want to, part of it plays out IRL in front of us, guy in white suit fights the boss on an altar at the back of an elementary school library like place, using millions of spears from the walls and floor, the boss counters with vines and just as many swords.

A familiar (as in a witch's familiar) sort of thing is floating over the sink, but I don't want to accept it as one (as mine?) because I know it won't listen to me.

There are giant piles of snow stacked in mountains outside the house, in the middle of spring, the huns from Night at the Museum are going around the neighborhood hitting everyone in the face with snowballs, I get excited (this is apparently an annual event), I go outside to change my panties for some reason, dude with a sharp object in hand comes after me, I flee through tall grass back to the house, recent argument between me and Elizabeth?

1/20/18: (2:00-9:??) (Powers Dream)

I'm in a small (less than 20) group of people with "God" powers, allowing us to fly, and giving us various other abilities as well (some of us, at least?). I'm relatively new to the group (and the area?), and worry that they dislike me, especially after I did something that I didn't think was rude, but they did. I try to find a moment to apologize, but can't seem to- there are too many kids in the house that all (or at least most) of us are living at, leaving precious few moments that everyone is available at the same time. Later, I'm at a sort of futuristic store, full of white plastic tubes and such, where I pick up two small items I didn't mean to. The one in my right hand is small, white and pink, and semi-triangular, and somehow shakes me when I hold it. Nearby, a girl from my group who sort of looks like Miu (DRv3) points out a tiny hammer either in or near something on the floor, which was relevant to the adventure/plot that happened previously where we attained said flight/godhood from. Later, I'm walking with Josuke (JJBA) under a winding overpass. It starts raining the second we step under open sky, and stops when we step under the pass, repeatedly. This indicates to both of us that we're under attack, thus we summon our stands. Josuke's looks kind of like Frieza (DBZ), while mine is long and kind of insectoid, with at least six limbs and enough flexibility to curl through the air. I then warn myself, still also back at the store somehow, and am that version of myself again. I tell the girl from my group about it and she goes to get the others, before I realize that it hasn't actually happened yet (there are two different time versions of me running around, and I'm currently the earlier version). I run out of the store and down the stairs, trying to talk to someone telepathically as I do(?). I come across a girl I know/have talked to on the stairs, and tell her I need to break her arm (which we discussed previously) in order to draw "their" attention, as I can't think of any other way. She's not happy about this for obvious reasons, and so tries to jump from the stairs and break MY arm to prove that will also get their attention. This fails utterly (my arm fails to break with her weight), and I tell her that's why it won't work with me before lifting up the girl (the crowd gasps) with the same arm and tossing her into the bookcase on the nearby wall, feet first. This makes her body turn cartoonish, and other people around pull her out as I hope that's enough and rush out of the building. Even later, there are many floating pillars high in the sky, with a central larger pillar meant to be reached by jumping from the smaller ones. A guy from my group is up here, doing just that (landing on the sides), and upon noticing the three golden glints in the central pillar, starts making his way there (they indicate either treasure or entrances). He doesn't manage it via jumping, and so ends up just flying there. I follow him in, and it turns out this is just the temple of the "Jungle boss" we beat already, so there's no new treasure here. The boss is basically just moving circular sawblades on a slope that descend slowly on a conveyor belt, which need to be broken by being "bowled" over. There are cardboard cutouts of rocks that turn real when bowled off to the side for this explicit purpose. The guy didn't do great on this before, but he just didn't get it I don't think, because I do very well with no practice at all. Also, by clogging the entryway, you can basically win automatically. Once we do, the guy who monitors this place asks if we want to go up to the top again, to which I say nah, we've got it, and just fly up on my own. While doing so, I think to myself that I'm getting too used to flying, and won't know how to go without it soon, to the point that I've memorized how it feels (like being "lifted" by the inside of the back of the shoulders/heart area). It then "slips" out of me in midair, which I panic about ("Hey!")- it feels as if God (who I envision as a long haired black guy made of stars and space) is lifting me up by my shirt.

In Grandma's room, whole slabs of my leg meat suddenly fall out, causing me to fall to my knees. My leg looks like raw chicken on the inside, and a large shard of rough, bloody bone comes out from just above my ankle, along with a chunk of the side of my foot. It doesn't hurt, but I still panic, and ask Mom what to do... and she just tells me to put it back.

Girl with seven different voices in her head, she's a parahuman, she sings to Lung (Worm), which is hilarious, on the Christmas before, a nerdy boy (who was the girl?) is driving, his different personalities are taking over intermittently, he gets in trouble due to something that happens in the car.

Sentient, pyramid shaped guy made of rock called Mr. Volcano, he's actually really tiny, church area where the ground is covered in high dark water that can partially(?) be walked over, all the buildings are black, giant orb building I get on top of, see family below and wave, will have to backtrack all the way if I want to get to them though.

1/21/18:

I get out of (my) bed, wander out to the theater area, starscape ceiling everyone is staring at, find family in the crowd, was backstage earlier (metal area with green room in back) that I was seen in.

There's a weird researcher looking guy in my bed, he all but tries to molest me, I know he's not real but still feel him poking me under the armpit, to get rid of him I sit up fully, say when I look up he'll be gone, and he vanishes.

1/22/18: (Powers Dream?)

Check-in room for an unfinished movie (early access?), I look like a woman with dark hair in a suit and have a fake ID/page to get in (the result of disguise magic?), guy with "Taurus" in his name tries to get in, I can tell he's also disguised/fake by what he says, somehow he's revealed to the rest of the room, he escapes into the dark-bluish dungeon/labyrinth outside, Ben 10 (or someone similar) pursues in a tiny, fast, white spider form (Kumoko?)

1/23/18: (1:3?- 6:40)

Four people meet up at the center of a town after a period of time, and show off proof of what they beat in order to let them proceed. Two did the normal version, one did a lesser version, and the last did something strange. They enter an aqua green palace, and somehow complete several “incorrect” fights.

1/26/18: (2:50-10:00)

Giant waterfall with bumpy, multicolored ground all around, the waterfall itself and the ground goes all around the area, it has a complicated "fall", Ian and I are there?

Robin, Jason, and Anne (The Wotch) are in a pink, cluttered bedroom, Robin is wearing a weird ninja outfit thing, they transform, Robin turns female and his clothes constrict into a really tight dress, later, on a lawn, Anne straight up admits to a guy (cheerfully) that she's altered his memory, with a display on a laptop that has a bunch of gold rectangles together and flashing, missing red ones to display the missing memories.

Someone is coming after an enemy “boss”, but it's actually a decoy, being issued commands by a scientist girl (the real final boss, so to speak). She goes through the underneath of her base to change the wires and such, where the light is dark purplish.

Guy who makes those around him extremely clumsy and can make himself Happosai-sized, making him very hard to hit or catch, I was on a team to guard against/catch him previously, one of the girls on the team gets frustrated enough to suggest arming everyone with guns, I corner him in a mall, in an area that's sort of like a giant tube, I still can't manage to hit him though, he goes on to be an ice skater, in the same mall someone is trying to use their henchman to kill people, but they're too incompetent, I'm on to them.

1/27/18: (2:00-9:30) (Powers Dream)

In a flat, "outer space" void, there is a spiral of gymnastic mats that leads to the Five God Dragon (Yugioh) at the glowing center, you can step outside the spiral of mats too, but that's no fun, there are enormous, whale-sized fish under the blackness that you can catch.

I'm a beautiful female ninja with shiny black hair and an elegant pink and green (seemingly peach inspired) outfit that looks like a mix between a dress and robes, walking through a town. It is possible to obtain small chests there (both normal brown and aqua green ones) from events, the latter only being openable with keys obtained from fights. There is a free hot spring that I want to go to, but I get interrupted before I can, and end up stuck going to a snowy mountain area for a mission. The entire time I just want to get back to the hot spring, to the point that I keep letting my clothes partially slip off. The guards, of which there are two lines on either side in front of me, find this very weird. I drop into the below-ground snow tunnel they are standing over to begin my mission.

I'm in a mansion/dungeon that anyone who enters supposedly only has a single night to escape. However, you actually have an endless amount of time, because time will stop progressing outside it the moment you enter. I'm dressed in a black leotard with gold accents along the sides. Coming up from a dark below ground area, I progress through an area of enemies that are no longer tough for me to beat (though they're destroyed before I can encounter them, via horizontal lightning), picking up the lightning items they drop. I think to myself that I need something blunter to kill them, since I want the kind of items they'll drop if I use a blunt weapon. I've explored most of the place, but have no idea where to go now. There is a rule that I need to stay out of the sight of the mansion's guards/servants, which poses a problem as there is one crouched right in front of the door to get back to the entryway (their stare is seen as a red cone of light). I hit the lights from my end (which only lasts a few seconds) and scamper out, climbing up a ladder across the way on to a catwalk. There are buttons on the wall to the left to press, and a gathering of people up ahead of me, one of whom is a kid who will alert the adults in 7 seconds that I'm here. It's possible to bribe him, and I have before, but I don't this time, instead swinging to a slightly lower catwalk, followed by another. I then fall/slide down a pit that leads to a furnace, turning into Bendy (Bendy and the Ink Machine) and moving off into a smaller side-tunnel.

1/29/18:

Video game/board game/obstacle course, Mario-like bit with aqua blue flooring and small electrified bits to jump around, upper area with movable present like boxes.

1/30/18:

The Protagonist (DDLC) was meant to be a girl from the start, but was changed. He enters a mall where there is a large flashy display overhead with the DDLC girls on it. Later, it turns out Monika has been with us (in the real world) the entire time, possibly due to a game glitch caused by a poster. Furthermore, because of someone's severed hand, she is  omnipresent/everywhere at once at all times. She can control things by using her left hand for the mouse and her right for the keyboard (or the cursor, which is separate from the mouse?), which she reveals while in a car with me and _____ while suffering from awareness overload.

In a store, I "hatch" shriveled, radioactive bats. There are bats that "counter" them that look more like bluish, quadrapedal lizards the size of large dogs, most of which are sealed off in a toxic/radioactive factory mostly composed of tunnels, which ends up becoming the "endgame" area we have to traverse. Inside, the Homestuck trolls are sprawled out in a tunnel to the left, looking dead (they aren't), and for some reason we start a cookout just inside the entrance.