#adding him to my growing list of lovable freaks.

[outlanderalien]

Hey maybe it's the microplastics in my brain but I just rewatched LOTR and I think I love this guy? Like carnally?

[ghostlywritten]

If Only I Had Stayed In The Shadows - Chapter Six

James Potter x OC

Words: 4,8k

Prologue   Chapter One   Chapter Two  Chapter Three  Chapter Four 

Chapter Five

"What?"

"I'm asking you out," James stated matter-of-factly whilst I sat next to him, having a mental breakdown.

"Um, I'm not Lily, you know that, right?" I asked slowly, pondering on the possibility of Poppy overlooking a concussion that caused him to blabber nonsense. His eyes did continuously flicker over my shoulder like a madman.

"I know that," he rolled his eyes.

"Then why?"

He shrugged. "I wanna hang out with you."

I raised an eyebrow, "That's not a reason."

"Do I need a reason other than wanting to spend time with you?"

"We've been hanging out for the past months, why the sudden need to date now?"

James huffed impatiently, "Are you telling me that you don't think something is going on between us?" My eyes widened in surprise, a sense of déjà-vu hitting me when I remembered Sirius saying the same thing not long ago.

"No?" I squeaked, still in shock before I narrowed my eyes at him, "Definitely not. You are in love with Lily, remember?"

"No, I'm not," he said with a blank face, "Not anymore."

"Oh yeah? All of a sudden?"

"Yes, all of a sudden."

"I don't believe you," I shook my head, causing him to stare at me in disbelief, "You've been pining after her for years and now you want to tell me you are over her, just like that? And after her you want to go out with someone like me?" I shook my head again, "Unbelievable."

James' eyes softened, "It did not happen just like that. I've just come to realise that my affections were shallow...I don't really know her and the way she treats me is not the most lovable as you might have noticed."

I winced, her past yelling echoing in my memory, "Yeah...I have. But still, this feels like I'm gonna be a rebound and I don't really want to be the filler for anyone."

"You are not a rebound! Merlin, Cec!" James huffed, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"What? You can't blame me for being suspicious," I defended myself, "Why would you even wanna date me? Just because I'm nice to you in comparison to her?"

"Yes!" he almost exclaimed, throwing his arms up, "That's it. You are nice, incredibly so. And yet...you are still sarcastic and witty. And you make the worst jokes ever."

"Excuse me?"

"You don't know how to persuade shit but give advices that are surprisingly convincing. You have the aim of a hippogriff when it comes to spells in DADA but you still manage to throw a Quaffle through the hoops from a bloody mile away."

"Cec!" he grabbed my shoulders, completely turning me towards him, "You are full of contradictions and make no sense at all. And maybe that's exactly why I want to date you."

I wondered when he had noticed all these things about me when I said, "I don't know whether I should feel flattered that you know this much about me..." James beamed. "Or creeped out." His grin deflated into a pout, "The first please. I'm usually not observant."

"Please, you are a Seeker and Quidditch Captain. You are nothing but observant," I retaliated.

"Touché," he responded with a shrug, "So, what do you say?"

"Say to what?"

"Say to going out with me, Cec!" he exclaimed impatiently.

"Oh, that..." I sighed, trying to ignore the way my racing heart shouted at me to say 'yes' already. After all, he would be the first to date me and possibly become my first boyfriend, too. Which was basically everything I had been missing to complete the whole adolescent experience. Besides, I really had no reason to not agree on a date; he was good-looking, kind if he wanted to be, charming even teachers like McGonagall (her twinkling eyes ain't gonna lie) aaaand he was good-looking. I could say 'yes' just because of this and to finally receive my first kiss but a churning in my stomach - my gut instinct - told me it was a bad idea.

"Cecily," James called me out of my thoughts and I shook my head slightly, "Talk to me. What's holding you back?"

"I'm not really sure myself," I said slowly, "Let me think about it, alright?" James nodded, "I'll be patient."

The next morning...

"ARE YOU GONNA SAY YES OR NO?" James yelled from across the hallway and I cringed at the number of heads that turned at the commotion, halting in their way towards the Great Hall for breakfast. I waved at Alice and Marlene to go ahead as I turned to face the messy-haired boy jogging up to me.

"So much for being patient, eh?" I commented, my cheeks still red from the attention around us.

James huffed, "How much can someone think about something this easy?"

"It's not easy," I protested lightly though 80 percent of me was already convinced to say 'yes', "It's a huge thing for me."

"It's not a huge thing," James rolled his eyes and I almost pouted at the sting in my chest, "Not?"

"No, it's just one date. No big deal, eh?" he stated.

"Well, I've never been to one," I pointed out quite shyly, embarrassment colouring my cheeks. Better tell him I was a freak at the beginning when he had the chance to still run away.

James shrugged, "Me neither." My eyes bulged, causing him to blink. "What?"

"You? Never on a date? You?" I spluttered in shock.

The dark-haired boy raised an eyebrow, "You've been here the past few years, right? Has Evans ever said yes to me?"

"No, but...," I trailed off. I had thought he would have at least tried dating besides wanting Lily. "Why have you never tried dating anyone else before?"

"Why would I if I'm not interested in them?" he asked back though cringing right after his words. I looked at him weirdly, "You alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," he replied hastily, regaining his composure, "So what do you say?"

"You haven't really given me a lot of time," I pointed out and he moaned in despair, "Why does no one want to go out with me?"

"It's not that," I relented, giving him a pitiful look, "It's just I think no one can overlook the fact that you've been in love with someone for almost your entire school career. For it to just disappear is strange."

James breathed in deeply, straightening up, "Believe me when I say I've...wasted enough of time thinking about it. And yes, it was hard giving up on her but on the other hand it's not because she is never been mine to begin with."

I looked at him almost sadly. "And don't give me that pitying look," he accused, pointing at my face, "I'm really done with her. And I want to start fresh. So...will you go out with me?" he asked with a sigh as if already expecting me to say no.

Regarding him quietly, I decided to not reply to it directly, "Come on, let's go eat breakfast." James blinked. "You can't expect me to answer on an empty stomach now, can you?"

"You need food to make a decision?" he asked with a judging look as he fell into step beside me and I shrugged, "I love food. Now you know what to do if we go on a date." I could practically see the reels turning in his head and pinpoint the exact moment he realised what I had said as his face started to split into a wide grin.

"This is how it feels when someone says yes?" he wondered, his chocolate brown eyes shining like a kid.

"I said if, Potter," I replied but he seemed to be in another world already, muttering to himself on how he could finally ask Padfoot for some dating advice, "I said if-"

"If means yes," he beamed, skipping away with a fist pump whilst I shook my head in confusion. "No, it doesn't?"

"Yes, it does!" he yelled over his back, already far ahead as I stood rooted in my spot.

Was I going on a date with Potter now?

Apparently, I was. Or at least, the whole school seemed to think so. After History of Magic the whispers about James' dating a mystery girl roamed the halls and everyone tried to figure out who Cecily Grant was.

I rolled my eyes, I really seemed to have been a nobody in this school despite playing Quidditch and being friends with the popular girls of my year. That changed now after someone started spilling what had just - not actually - been decided earlier this morning.

"Is it true?" Marlene asked in Potions as I sat down next to Alice, Lily on her other side.

"Is what true?" She rolled her eyes, "You know exactly what I'm asking. Is it true that James asked you out?"

"Well...yeah," I replied, feeling weird at the unknown feeling of having a positive answer on a question like this.

"Wow...," Alice breathed, "He really is over you, Lils. Who would have thought?" The red head stayed surprisingly quiet.

"Isn't it exciting though?" Marlene squealed, "Our little Cec is finally growing up. Going out on dates!"

"Oi, I'm not little," I grumbled though I couldn't help but grin back at her wide beam.

"We have so much to do!" Marlene whispered urgently whilst Slughorn recited his instructions for the potion of this lesson; Draught of Living Death. It was a complicated procedure, which should give us enough reason to listen attentively, however, we didn't. "You definitely need to get a whole makeover. And get your hair cut," she started making a list of things and I raised my eyebrows higher and higher the longer it got.

"You want to make a whole different person of me?" I asked after even Alice, who was all for 'be yourself' added a few things.

"Of course not," Marlene rolled her eyes, "But you don't wanna scare away your first date with your armpit hair, do you?"

I went red; So what if I was too lazy to regularly shave it? "When is he going to see my armpits anyways?"

Marlene gave me look before grinning slyly, "You wanna be prepared for everything." As if on cue, we all turned to look at the boy that started all this, cackling at something Sirius was whispering to him. Upon feeling our gazes, he turned to shoot me a sweet smile. My blush deepened as Marlene and Alice started giggling.

"You know I'm pretty glad he is going out with you," Lily randomly blurted as she unsuccessfully tried to cut her Sopophorus bean to get the juice out. I watched the frustration grow in her face, though I didn't know if it stirred from the bean not being cracked or something else.

"Figures. You must be so happy he is leaving you alone now," Alice stated lightly, turning to her own cauldron.

"Yeah...really happy."

Class ended with no one really succeeding with the potion besides Severus Snape, by far the best in our year. I spent the rest of the day avoiding eye contact with any curious being - and there were surprisingly a lot of them; Alright, I knew if it hadn't been me I would be extremely eager to figure out who managed to sway James away from Lily myself, too. But did people not know how to exercise discretion for Merlin's sake?

"This is getting ridiculous," I muttered as a bunch of Fifth Year girls stared at me unabashedly.

"What is?" Marlene asked disinterestedly, already used to this kind of attention.

"People staring," I whispered as we walked past the girls whispering something about 'Potter' and 'Evans'.

"Oh, you will get used to it," the dark-haired girl waved off, "You better, anyways. You are popular now."

I scrunched my face, "Because I'm apparently dating a popular boy?"

"Not just any popular boy. One of the Marauders," Marlene said as if it was the biggest thing ever. I briefly wondered if that would change her attitude towards me when she continued with a mischievous smirk that strangely reminded me of Sirius, "And not any Marauder but the one who has sworn his life to another, one of your friends nonetheless." She straightened up, flipping her hair back, "If that isn't juicy gossip, I don't know what is."

"So much for becoming popular because I'm a good Quidditch player," I grumbled to myself. Don't get me wrong, I kind of loved the attention even if I wasn't used to it and I had been dreaming of being acknowledged by others all the time after staying in the shadows of my friends for so long. For some reason it bugged me though that the only way for that to happen was because of me dating a boy.

"Hey, you don't know that, maybe they recognise you for your Quidditch skills now," Alice tried to cheer me up when she saw my pout, "You know, since Angie's last games are coming up, people are naturally going to wonder who will take her place."

"And it's gonna be James' future girlfriend!" Marlene announced loudly, causing me to slap her shoulder quite hard, "Ouch! Cec!"

"Shut up, will you?" I whispered embarrassed, ducking into the library, "I'll see you at dinner."

"Sure, try and hide but the limelight will find you everywhere!" Marlene called after me dramatically.

Who would have thought that the library would be my sanctuary when I used to avoid this place like the plague? Well, people do change...

"Cecily?" I jerked out of my lying position, the book 'Quidditch Through the Ages' that had been draped over my face falling down with a thud. "Wha? I'm awake."

"What the hell are you doing?" Sirius asked amused as he placed his books on the small table in front of the couch I was settled in.

"Eh, studying?" I replied, dusting myself of with an embarrassed laugh, "What else would I be doing in a library?" Sirius raised an eyebrow and I deflated. "Alright, I was hiding."

"Hiding? Of what?" He sat down on the armchair across the couch, occasionally glancing over me. We were in a pretty secluded place where you could still overlook the rest of the library, which I chose wisely to avoid Madam Pince throwing me out for using one of her books as a sleep mask.

"Of gossiping beings," I whispered in a conspirative manner.

Sirius' expression cleared. "Ahh, the rumours about you and Prongs dating has spread then," he concluded, smirking to himself, "Splendid."

"Not splendid. It's annoying," I huffed, and he looked at me in surprise. "What, you don't like the attention?"

"Not this kind of attention," I said pointedly. The boy stared at me, still confused. "I don't wanna be known because I'm dating James Potter. Why does no one recognise me for my Quidditch skills or something?" I groaned, dropping back against the couch.

"I see," Sirius said quietly and if I had looked, I might have seen a flash of guilt in his eyes, "Sorry about that. It could have been me, who spread the news."

I lifted my head, ignoring the fact that I was proudly flashing my double chin as I started at him incredulously, "What? Why the hell would you do that?"

"Well, I was proud of Prongs that he finally asked someone out, who would say yes for once," he defended himself but I noted his voice catching slightly. "And he is going on a date after six bloody years. About time, honestly," he muttered to himself.

"Good for you, Black. But it's not helping my case," I grumbled, rubbing my forehead. Sirius kept quiet before he leaned forward with a smirk, "Come on, people always talk but the gossip will die down at some point. Might as well bask in the attention while it lasts."

I shot him look, "Why are you here again?"

Sirius barked a laugh before he shushed himself quickly. I raised an eyebrow at him in confusion and he coughed slightly before pointing at the stack of books between us, "Research."

Craning my head around I read the title of the book on top, "The Tales of Beedle the Bard?"

"Exactly," Sirius said too quickly and too stiffly, "Got a problem with that?"

I giggled, "What are you researching for?"

"Ways to overcome boredom," he quipped.

"And you chose the library for that, of all places," I wondered.

"Yes..."

"..."

"Alright, Grant," Sirius huffed exasperatedly, "If you must know everything that is going on in my life...I'm here because of Reg."

Gasping dramatically, I chuckled when he shot me a look, "Was that so hard to tell me now? Why lie about it?"

"Because I don't want you to avenge me by spreading rumours that I'm stalking my brother."

"...I would have honestly never considered that," I said, and he sighed in relief, "Until now." I grinned wide like a Cheshire cat.

"Grant..," Sirius started with a warning tone, causing me to laugh and wave him off, "I'm just joking. I'm not like you to spill private information out to the world."

"It wouldn't have stayed private for long anyways!"

"Whatever, where is he then? I have never really seen him before," I mused, sitting up when Sirius stopped me, "Don't. At least be discreet if you have to be snoopy."

I grimaced at him, straightening up casually, "...Gotcha."

"Good." He nodded at something behind me.

Whipping my head around I eagerly scanned the library with wide eyes, ignoring the groan emitting from behind me. "Target spotted," I muttered to myself like I would whenever I spotted the Quaffle as my gaze landed on the slightly scrawnier version of Sirius.

"This is your way of being discreet? Are you serious?" the grey-eyed boy asked as I settled back down.

"No, you are." I chuckled as he gave me a blank stare, mentally high fiving myself for finally using that pun on him. "He's cute," I commented, looking over my shoulder at the boy quietly reading a book and scribbling something down on his parchment, "Looks a lot like you. But less...sharp."

"Sharp?" Sirius questioned, picking a book from his stack and pretending to flip through it as he glanced at his brother. His attempt was futile for the cover was upside down. I grinned, deciding not to tell him.

"Yeah, his features are softer," I mused, "He looks more approachable than you."

"Please," the older one scoffed, "He's a Slytherin. They are never approachable."

"Well..." That was probably the only reason why his brother wasn't as popular as him then. Many thought Slytherins weren't approachable and that in turn made them pretend they weren't actually approachable for real. Mind you, I remembered meeting many decent Slytherins in the first few years until they fell under the group pressure. "At least, among his peers then."

Sirius looked over the boy, who was oblivious to all the talk about him, and started smirking, "For sure. He is my brother after all." I rolled my eyes in amusement but didn't fail to notice the fond tone in his voice whilst he stared at his brother. Something akin to longing flashed in his grey eyes.

I opened my mouth to ask him whether he had tried talking to him but decided that it was not my business. "Well, I'm off then," I said, yawning as I stretched my limbs and went to get up.

"Wait!" Sirius snapped forward hastily to hold me back. "Can't you stay? Just for a bit...let's look like we are studying," he requested, shooting me a pleading look. I relented almost immediately, not because of his admittedly cute expression but due to the fact that his brotherly fondness made my heart melt.

"If you want to make it believable that we are studying you will have to get another book...and actually not read it upside down," I pointed out with a grin. Sirius spluttered, sheepishly turning the book over and we sat back in a companiable silence.

"So, are you going on a date with Prongs now or not?" he broke the few hours of peaceful quietness around us and I groaned internally.

"It was so nice right now, Sirius," I complained, and he grinned.

"It's still nice, you just have to give me the right answer."

"Which would be?"

"Yes, I am going out with Prongs, Sirius."

I sighed, "I sometimes think I don't really have a choice."

"You're right about that."

"Sirius!"

The dark-haired boy chuckled to himself before scrutinising me. I squirmed slightly under his gaze, wondering what he was thinking about. "What is it?"

"I believe...you would actually do him good," he said slowly, and I raised an eyebrow, "Is that so?"

"Yeah," Sirius said with the shut of his book and stood up, stretching himself. I turned to see Regulus was already long gone. "At least you seem to accept him the way he is."

I stared at him in surprise.

"Come on, let's get dinner."

"Padfoot! Cec!" James shouted from behind us and I cringed as once again a few heads turned to look at the commotion.

"You will get used to it," Sirius whispered with a grin as his best friend jogged towards us, "What's up, Prongsie?"

"Where have you been all afternoon?" James questioned, glancing between the two of us.

"Eh, snogging some girl," Sirius replied with a shrug and I gave him a weird look. James' eyes widened. "Not her, Prongise," he continued with a pat on his shoulder, "Don't worry, she's all yours."

"Excuse me? I'm right here," I complained when James grinned, throwing an arm around my shoulder and causing me to almost flinch in surprise at the sudden touch.

"If that's the case, you don't mind giving us some privacy, do you, Pads?"

"Of course not. Have fun, Prongsie. Cec." With that 'Pads' left, whistling a cheerful tune.

"Where are we going?" I asked as James led me away from the Great Hall, "I'm hungry."

"That's why, dear Cecily, we're heading to a very special place."

"Which is where?"

"The kitchens."

My eyes widened as I took in his words. "You...know...where...the...kitchens...are...?" I asked almost breathlessly.

James grinned widely. "I knew you would be interested." He leaned down towards my ear, "Yes, the kitchens. Food accessible around the clock, whenever you want to eat. Midnight snacks, second breakfasts, afternoon lunch..."

"That sounds too good to be real," I sighed dreamily, blissfully unaware of him chuckling at my expression, still leant in.

We went down several stairs until we reached near the dungeons where I presumed the Slytherins had their quarters along with the Hufflepuffs nearby.

"Where is it then?" I asked eagerly.

"Right...here," he announced cheerfully, pointing at the painting of a fruit bowl.

I deadpanned, "Food in a picture is not actual food, James."

"I know that," James rolled his eyes though his blush told me he hadn't always known. Grinning at the imagination of him trying to grasp food from a picture, I watched him tickle the pear in the bowl. To my bemusement it giggled before transforming into a green door handle.

"My lady," James announced as he pulled the painting aside, "Take a faithful step closer towards heaven on earth."

Following his orders, my jaw slackened at the sight; a high-ceilinged room, big as the Great Hall - if possibly bigger - and filled to the brim with pans and pots...and elves.

"Elves work at Hogwarts?" I asked in surprise. I had always wondered, who was responsible for the amazing food that was presented to us daily out of nowhere. A few tiny heads turned at our entrance and some shuffled over with big eyes.

"Mr. Potter! Mr. Potter is back!" they greeted the boy next to me, shooting me curious looks, "What can we do for Mr. Potter and his friend?"

"Cecily," I introduced myself lamely with a wave.

"What can we do for Mr. Potter and Ms. Cecily?"

James chuckled. "Just get us whatever you think is your most delicious dish this evening, please," he requested kindly. The elves nodded eagerly, shuffling away towards the crowd of elves bustling around busily. "Come on," he gestured towards a set of tables with chairs on either side. As soon as we sat, the table started getting filled by various foods and my mouth watered at the sight.

"Dig in!" James urged cheerfully, filling his plate.

"This. Is. Heaven," I said through a mouthful of chicken, sighing blissfully through my nose, " And this is all just for us! How did you find this place?"

"Well, Padfoot, Moony, Wormtail and I were setting up some pranks for the Slytherins-"

"As usual."

"-when we saw a few older Hufflepuffs sneak out of their dorms. I believe, one of them was the Head Boy. Naturally, we followed them-"

"You mean, you stalked them," I pointed out and he shot me a peeved look.

"We followed them," he continued with extra emphasis on the word and I snorted into my cup of pumpkin juice, "And watched them enter through the pear."

"That's it?" I asked with a raised eyebrow and he nodded with a shrug, "That sounds almost boring."

"Excuse me?" he spluttered. "What do you mean boring?"

"Well, when I think about all the crazy prank stories you've done that people talk about, I figured the way you found this place would have been some kind of adventure."

"How else would we actually find a place like this?" James asked with a raised eyebrow, "It's not like you can stumble and tickle a pear in a painting by accident now, can you?"

"If anyone can do this, then it's you," I said, pointing at him with my cup and he grinned as if that was a compliment. It probably was.

"Enough about me," he waved off, gulping down his bite, "I wanna know about you, Cec."

"Oh yeah?" He nodded and I swallowed down the chicken, wincing at my suddenly dry throat, "What do you want to know then?"

"Something no one else knows about you," he requested easily, and my eyes widened at his confidence.

"Ehm, there is not really anything interesting that no one knows about me."

"Please, everyone has a story," James stated, leaning forward, "What is yours?"

"I'm not old enough to have a story, yet."

"You want and at the same time don't want to become a Healer," James pointed out, "That has a story."

"You know about that already. I've told you about my parents," I said back, and he nodded.

"Yes, and now I wanna know another story."

"…That's my only story."

James narrowed his eyes, "You are really stubborn, aren't you?"

"So are you," I replied with a grin before sighing at his steady stare, "Honestly, I don't know what you want to hear. My life is not as exciting as yours."

"...Tell me why you like the Montrose Magpies?" he asked after a while, and I laughed.

"Alright, but only if you tell me why you like the Chudley Cannons."

"Deal."

And thus, we started talking about our likes and dislikes, our favourites in every thinkable department and other light topics. It wasn't until the elves started crowding around us, asking if we needed anything else that I realised we had stayed here long past dinner.

"It's probably almost midnight," I mused, yawning behind the back of my hand.

"We should head back," James agreed, standing up and thanking the elves around us for the food.

Quietly, we padded across the halls towards the Gryffindor Tower, having talked enough for tonight to have a peaceful lull in our conversation. Giving up the password to the Fat Lady, James gestured for me to get inside and I sighed at the warmth of the fireplace that was still lit in the Common Room.

"So...I would say that was a nice first date..." I almost choked on the intake of my sigh, my peaceful inner mind waking up with a whirlwind of thoughts. 'What the-'

"Right?" James pushed, turning to look at my surprised expression as I coughed.

"Eh..what- that was- was it?" I stumbled over my jumbled words and he grinned.

"Was it not?"

"We never said-"

"Doesn't matter, I consider it as our first date," James announced, raising a hand to lightly graze my red cheeks. My red cheeks from coughing. Yeah. "Besides, you would have just disagreed if I had said it was a date."

"You tricked me!" I spluttered indignantly, "You tricked me with my biggest weakness."

"You gave that weakness away yourself," James stated with a grin as he walked backwards towards the boy's dormitories, "Anyways, I wouldn't mind a second date, Cec. Just saying."

And with that he and his frustratingly cute and mischievous grin vanished from my sight.

Chapter Seven

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

I was just going through my #odaat meta tag and I re-read this one of yours [post / 172076218500 / i-love-your-meta-on-schneider-and-his-need-to-be] and now I kind of want you to update it for S3--like, how S3 built upon and added to all the things from the previous two seasons. But I know you have a long list of fics to write and gifsets to make, so no rush, no pressure. But if you're inspired, I'd love to read your thoughts!

as s4 starts tonight, now seems like a great time to update that meta series :D

since it’s been two years, here are the adorably retro rambles i wrote back then (i was so newly in love with schneider and his found family! it’s cute to see!):

part one & part two

for those who don’t want to spend all day reading them, the gist is that an ask invited me to discuss schneider, and i did…and then i got another ask disagreeing with a claim they thought i was making about schneider in the first one. but my conclusion overall was:

S1 of One Day At A Time gave us [smudged first name] Schneider, who is always there when anybody needs him, and it told the audience that he considers himself a member of Penelope’s family.

S2 of One Day At A Time took the Schneider we were told about in S1, and it SHOWED us where he came from, how it led him to who he is now, and why that makes him a part of the family.

During the quinces dance in 1x13, when Schneider joins them on the floor, the audience laughs.

When Schneider tells a comatose Lydia in 2x13 that her family is also his family��nobody laughs. Because it’s not even a little bit funny. It’s just true.

That’s how you develop a character without changing him. And that is why this show is everything to me.

in this case, you didn’t ask for a new specific angle like i had for the previous metas, so i’m just going to ramble about how schneider, his place in the family and his sobriety are further developed in s3…behind this cut!

honestly s3 is a goldmine for those of us who love schneider. he has more story, he gets to show even more range as a flawed but lovable human, and we get to fill in more details about what continues to be his interesting but not-that-deeply explored life. (i will not rest until we know if schneider’s original mom is alive and neglectful, pushed aside by his dad–or dead and replaced. I WILL NOT REST.)

there’s a lot that happens in s3 that i was even specifically wishing for. besides the fact that i wrote his sobriety chip going in the museum as a fic before it became canon (can’t i just write for the show already? i’d be good at it!), i really wanted to see some proof that his friendship with penelope was not as one-sided as it looks in s1 and 2. 

as i mentioned in last year’s metas:

Schneider is the epitome of someone whose emotionally neglectful childhood turned him into an adult who is desperate to be loved. Who expects people to leave him or not like him very much…who is himself full of love and gives it away to people who deserve it AND people who don’t. He’s unconditionally devoted to his best friend and her entire family, he’ll be their mentor or support or punching bag when they need it without hesitation, which is so pure it hurts my heart.

Ir hurts my heart even more that he doesn’t demand anything back, though. He focuses on them and their needs completely, and while it’s easy to list off moments that demonstrate why Schneider is Penelope’s best friend, times he has helped and supported and openly loved her, the reverse is harder. I think those moments are there, but much like Lydia visiting Schneider in rehab prior to S1…we haven’t gotten to see them.

well, now here we are. i got my wish, and it broke my freaking heart, but in the good way. penelope wasn’t just there for him in the ways you would expect, like trying to be chill and supportive when his father was going to visit–and then working through her own issues to offer him love and reassurance about his value to her as a person after their resulting fight.

she also faced what was probably one of the worst case scenarios she could’ve imagined for schneider, given everything she’d already lived through with the kids and victor. and she never once hesitated. she did everything she could think of to help him, even when that meant planting her feet and refusing to get out of his way to stop things from getting worse. 

penelope looked at her best friend and knew not only what he was going through in those terrible moments but also what he was capable of in his better ones, and decided not to let him go. not then, not ever, as long as he was willing to keep trying. which of course he was because s3 also told us that losing his true family would be the worst thing he could imagine for himself.

speaking of his sobriety, that was the area where his character was developed in huge leaps this season. i wasn’t expecting that to be his s3 arc when i said this, but again, i give past me a lot of credit for being psychically linked:

In the first season, all of Schneider’s sobriety mentions are played for laughs, until Elena’s coming out storyline. We get a lot of mentions, actually–about his addiction to gambling, his stints in rehab, his five year chip–but he talks about it breezily and other characters don’t invite him to elaborate.

As viewers, we know he’s an addict and an alcoholic who’s working a program but since he’s not the focus of the show, we’re not asked to think about it much. However, since Penelope is separating from someone who is also struggling with addiction and we know they celebrated Schneider’s milestone right after moving in (when they barely knew him), we can infer that she takes this very seriously.

one of the interesting things to me about victor’s storyline at the end of s1 is that the show doesn’t try to draw parallels between them at the time. the season is just so not about schneider that it doesn’t come up, not even with victor staying at schneider’s place after penelope kicked him out. 

the two times schneider seriously discusses his history with penelope are instead in relationship to elena’s coming out (one of the central arcs of s1) and in relationship to penelope’s mental health (one of the central arcs of s2). which makes sense. but by the time we’re heading into s3, we’ve also seen schneider talk to lydia about his past, in more heartwrenching detail than ever before, while she’s unconscious. 

so as much as it hurts to watch it happen because of a relapse, it’s also nice to see him get much more serious moments related to his sobriety in s3. from his counseling of penelope about alex smoking pot, to the alvarez museum, to the balcony with dr. b, schneider talks about it a lot without it being a joke at all. this is awesome and fitting--he has earned being taken more seriously as a character and a family member. 

not all the time, it’s still a sitcom obviously, but in s3 he’s treated like an honorary family member with a serious history of addiction, not just a hipster landlord they like having around.

and the relapse storyline teaches us so much about schneider that we didn’t know before: what triggers him, how well he can lie when it matters to him, what a different person he becomes once he’s no longer sober, and most importantly, what he values enough that it can convince him to stop drinking again after he’s started. all of the pain involved in those reveals makes him seem more like a real person.

in terms of schneider’s growth, i was also really hoping that he would get to experience a healthy romantic relationship at some point. to quote me again:

And Schneider trying to do romance…wow is he lowkey out to break your heart. Thanks to what he witnessed growing up, he thinks a good relationship can be two people who don’t even like each other, that love probably isn’t real, and he jumps at the chance to be married, like he just needs a person to belong to–anyone who’ll have him.

s3 did give us some growth for him on that front, though not as much as i would have liked. he met someone he really liked, who seemed to really like him for just who he is, and who seemed to want more than a surface-level relationship of hooking up.

since we don’t know what happened with avery after his father came to town, i’m not comfortable saying that they did have a healthy relationship–we’ve got no proof they didn’t, but also nothing concrete to say that they did. we just know that while they were broken up, they missed each other a lot, and they were really happy to be reunited. 

i won’t feel good for schneider about finally finding his first stable and healthy love in avery until we actually witness them work through an issue rather than just moving past it with no real discussion. ‘i came back and you’re sober again’ is not automatically the same thing as ‘everything is now fine and we’ve learned and grown from what just happened and are a stronger couple because of it.’

also it worries me a lot that schneider thinks of avery as perfect. he has so little experience trying to do the real relationship thing, i need him to learn she has flaws, and that means it’s okay that he does, rather than keeping her on that pedestal and believing he’s unworthy. because that’s already a vibe he’s given off since we met him, and i just want better for him than that.

and when it comes to schneider’s place in the alvarez family?whereas s2 left him as a firmly self-identified alvarez, s3 kicked off by showing us that he had been enveloped into the larger family with the funeral--and then both of his major storylines this season, his father’s influence on him and his relapse, solidified it even further. 

elena puts extra work in on the whole building to help makes schneider’s dad proud of him, and the whole family welcomes the man despite their valid misgivings--with penelope even very impressively not punching him in the throat. it was entirely for schneider’s benefit that they tried so hard, especially pen. he deserved their love and effort where his father really didn’t.

and when his father’s presence threatens to take him away from them in a fundamental way, turning him into someone they don’t recognize, i honestly think it scares penelope. she gets angry, and she lashes out, sure, but underneath that she’s scared too, because she’s supposed to be able to count on schneider. he’s one of them, he’s family--not one of those guys. ‘the man.’ 

so their reconciliation not only mends their bond but strengthens it, because all that penelope wants is for him to stay family. to stay theirs. 

which is a priority she probably would not have expected to have back in s1, but it’s crystal clear that it’s true in s3, especially once she realizes schneider might be drinking again. 

her immediate reaction to the possibility is denial, which i love because it shows how deeply she really does trust him at that point. he’s not just the friend who sends her dogs in wigs and drinks coffee with her mom: he’s a man she expects to be stable and present in her life, even though she knows his history includes decades of addictive behaviors. 

it also shows that she doesn’t want it to be true, possibly even more than she believes it couldn’t be. she knows how addiction works, she has to know that schneider’s not guaranteed to stay sober even after five years without a drink. but she needs him to be.

the way the rest of the family rallys around schneider further makes it clear: he’s part of them, yes, but not because he’s forcing his way in. he’s wanted there. in s3, schneider is an IMPORTANT member of the family, who is loved even when he makes bad choices and breaks their trust and has to earn it back. 

and that’s the biggest evolution for his character, to me. after the way s3 ended, it’s hard to imagine schneider not being a part of their lives--not because he refuses to leave them alone, but because they wouldn’t have it any other way.

now, much as i like to share my grievances about parts of s3, schneider’s characterization isn’t on that list for me at all. it remains remarkably consistent for a character who started out on the periphery. and honestly, before i reread these metas today, i hadn’t thought about that much. 

you can finish watching s3, where schneider is 30 days sober and still trying to pull his life back together after relapsing, and then start watching the pilot episode, and there he is–the same guy we know and love and understand better than we did in the beginning.

so, to end this the same way i looked back at the first two seasons...

S3 of One Day At A Time took the Schneider we had gotten to know better in S2 and showed us a completely foreign side of him, using that to make clear just how important he is to the family now.

After Penelope told Schneider he wasn’t really part of the family in 3x10, she went to lengths she never had before--handholding and sincere compliments--to make sure he knew that wasn’t true. And afterwards, when Schneider put them above his own father, because her family is his family and everyone knows it...it was a completely serious moment.

That’s how far Schneider has grown in Penelope’s esteem, and as a character, in just three seasons. Without losing what makes him Schneider. Which is why this show is still everything to me.

[gold-from-straw]

Divergence - ch5

Sorry this is late!! I had a shite weekend! This chapter includes Erik being super protective and angry and angsty... TW for hints of past suicidal ideation at the very end. I hope you enjoy though!!

Read from the beginning on AO3 if you prefer!

They gathered together in one of the living rooms, all eyes on the three Charleses (Charlesen? What plural could possibly work here?) together on the couch. Raven in particular couldn’t stop staring at the two newcomers.

“Where do you think they came from, Professor?” Alex asked.

“Hopefully Hank will be able to answer that,” Charles said, forcing a smile.

Hank pushed his glasses up on his nose and peered down at the readout on his device. “It’s fascinating, they both seem to have slightly different isotopic balances. Almost like they’ve come from different universes.”

Sean shook his head. “Woah. Time travelling from a different universe, man.”

“I should be able to work out a way to send them back soon enough,” said Hank, smiling up at the Charlesen, who all nodded sagely.

“Send them back?” demanded Erik. “Why on Earth would you do that?”

The room was silent for a moment. Hank cleared his throat. “Well, they are children. They’ve got to be sent back to their parents.”

“So they can be treated like that?” Erik gestured sharply at teenage Charles’ face. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Erik,” said Charles softly, looking up at him.

Why didn’t you tell me? Erik asked, directly into Charles’ mind. You let me mock you for growing up here when you had to endure… this!

“Really, Erik?” Charles said aloud, glaring at him. “You expect me to bother you, of all people, with the… the insignificant hurts of my childhood?”

Erik huffed and gestured to the teenager’s face again. “You call this insignificant?”

Charles turned to his younger self, his brow crinkling up in distress. “No, I…! Oh, I’m sorry, I never...” He sighed and closed his eyes, biting his lip.

“It’s OK,” said young Charles softly.

“No… no, it’s not,” said Charles, cupping the boy’s cheek and looking at the mess of his face. “It’s not OK at all.” He huffed something like a laugh. “It’s… easier to be compassionate with you than with myself. I’m sorry.”

“I’m with Erik here,” said Sean, and Erik raised his eyebrows in surprise. “But if you two stay, we’re gonna have to think of new names for all of you. I’ve been calling you Baby Charles and Young Charles in my head and it’s not working out for me.”

Erik rolled his eyes, but everyone else laughed, clinging to anything to relieve the tension. “And what are you calling me, dare I ask?” Charles said.

“Professor,” replied Sean promptly.

Charles laughed again. “Well, I’m fine with that.”

“I’m not calling you Professor,” Erik said. The others laughed once more, and Erik let them, but he was serious. He wasn’t happy about calling either of the children Charles either, not when that name had come to mean the only good part of the world to him, encompassing frustration and debate, admiration and the deepest, yearning love.

He heard the slight gasp and looked up to see the teenager staring at him, wide eyed and pink cheeked.

Shit. Obviously Charles developed his morals a little older than that.

The boy hunched slightly, and Charles - Erik’s Charles (even if he never truly would be Erik’s…) took the boy’s hand with a worried glance.

“N-nothing,” the boy said, then gulped and flushed again as he realised he’d answered a telepathic question out loud. He looked around at the roomful of people. “Uh, I don’t mind being called Francis. It’s my - our - middle name.”

“Can I be Arthur?” asked the smallest Charles, jumping up and down in his seat. “Like in the Sword in the Stone, he--” Then he froze, and looked around warily. “That is… if I’m allowed?” He hunched his shoulders. “I suppose I wouldn’t be a very good king, not like Arthur.”

“You’d be an amazing King Arthur,” said Raven firmly. Her voice sounded strangled.

Little Charles - Arthur - sat up straight again and beamed at her. Charles smiled down at him fondly, and Erik looked away from him before he started projecting his emotions to anyone else. He cleared his throat and caught Francis’ eye. “Come on,” he said, jerking his head to the side. “I’ll teach you to throw a punch.”

“Erik, no!” Charles cried. “He’s only a boy!”

“A boy who’s having the crap beaten out of him on a regular basis, by the look of it,” Erik said. He started walking out, and Charles scrambled to catch him.

“Erik, please. Look, if he is going to be staying here, he won’t have to worry about Kurt, so you don’t need to--”

“There’s more than one bastard in the world,” Erik said. He stopped suddenly and glared down at Charles, trying to forget that he wanted nothing more than to gather this impossible, beautiful man up, with his ridiculous hair and stupid hidden hurts, and fold him close. Pretend Erik could be soft for him. Lovable.

He swallowed it all down. “You know, at a certain point, pacifism isn’t a moral stance, Charles. It’s just a word a battered boy uses to fool himself into thinking he’s got a choice. Turning the other cheek doesn’t count if someone’s holding your face.”

Charles looked broken for an instant before his face closed off. Immediately, Erik regretted all of it. “Charles,” he said, reaching for him, but Charles pushed past.

And there, right behind him, cowering close to the wall, was Francis.

“Did you hear all of that?”

Francis’ eyes darted here and there, but he nodded once, sharply.

Erik sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He could feel Francis’ distress rolling off him in waves, and for a moment he seriously considered walking away, letting someone more qualified than him find the boy and fix the mess he’d made. “Come on,” he said at last. “I promised you a lesson.”

Francis hesitated, then trotted after Erik. In the gym, he turned to the boy and strapped a pair of knuckle gloves on his hands. “Right. Let’s see you throw a punch.” He gestured to the nearest punch bag.

Francis glanced up at him, took a couple of shallow breaths, then swung wildly at the bag, his floppy brown hair falling over his scrunched up eyes.

“Hurts, hmm?” Erik said, raising an eyebrow.

Francis hunched slightly. “N-no, sir.”

“The way you just hit the bag, I’m amazed you haven’t broken a thumb. Here.” He pulled Francis’ glove back off. “Bend your knuckles one, then two, then put your thumb on the outside. No, not there, those big knuckles are the part you hit with. Down across the second knuckles, that’s it.” He held Francis’ wrist and slapped the flat of his fist. “Remember that, yes?”

“One, two, three,” said Francis, opening and closing his hand.

Erik replaced the glove and held out his hand, forming a fist as he’d just shown the boy. “Remember - one, two, three. No more loose fists. Now, try again.”

Francis punched the bag. “Good,” said Erik. “Again. And again. Again.”

Francis threw punch after punch at the bag, until his hair was lying lank and sweaty against his forehead. “We’ll leave it there for today,” Erik said, unwrapping Francis’ gloves again. The boy sagged in relief, and Erik chuckled. “Go get a drink and a shower.”

Francis turned to the door, then hesitated. “Do you really feel that way about him? About us, I suppose?”

Erik gritted his teeth and looked at Francis. Why couldn’t he just let it go? Francis hunched again. “Sorry, sorry, I’ll just…”

“Just him,” Erik said gruffly. “You’re from a different world. You’re not him. And more than that, you’re sixteen, you’re a child. Whatever you overhear of my feelings for him, they’re no threat to you.” He frowned. “Or him, of course, but--”

“I didn’t think that! I just…” he swallowed and wrung the blazer in his hands. “I was just… is he? Homosexual?”

“I don’t--”

“Because I think I…” Francis sniffed and looked down, then visibly steeled himself. “I think… there’s a boy in my school and I--”

Erik groaned. He was not made for these kinds of conversations! “I don’t know, Francis, you’d have to ask him.”

“But what if… what if we’re different? That way? What if I’m just a… a freak, and he’s disgusted by me - or what if he’s ashamed of the way I think - the way he was?”

Erik put both hands on Francis’ shoulders. “No, Charles is nothing like that. He would never make you feel that way.”

Francis bit his lip and his chin wobbled. Erik sighed. “If you like, I’ll have a word with him first. Let him know how much it means to you, that he accepts you?”

Francis shook his head violently. “Then he’ll know… he might be sick of me because I’m so pathetic and needy… and--”

“Hey, hey!” Erik squeezed his shoulders, embarrassment and exasperation with the conversation fading away to concern. “You’re none of those things, you hear me? Now, would you say those things - or even think them - about your younger self? About Arthur?”

Francis shook his head, tears sliding down his cheeks. Erik tugged him into a hug. “Then you have nothing to worry about from Charles. You won’t have changed that much in ten years.”

He held Francis as he wept quietly, and wondered if the same could be said of him. If his sixteen-year-old self would recognise him, or if he’d be terrified of him. If he’d be proud of all he’d achieved, or still wish he’d died in the camps.

I have a permanent tag list for this, if you’d like to be added please let me know! Otherwise I just add people who interacted with the last chapter! Thank you <3 @insertmeaningfulusername, @mathmusicreading, @colonelsebbiemoran, @ethanstcoulson, @gerec, @kungpao-giffy, @mnemo-ink, @writing-with-melon, @melonreblogsstories, @these-maginot-lines, @unluvablemisfit, @fullmetalcarer, @lyricfulloflight, @marveltrashblog, @ketchavies-thoorrrr666, @ketch-em-all, @cheeseplatypusandiceskates, @threecheer, @like-a-never-ending-rainstorm, @princ3ss-of-the-m00n, @kernezelda, @thepaintingsafake, @askprofessorx, @kaeden4, @akasanata, @st4rprinc3ss, @suriya-12, @thechaoticwave

[hmorris0712]

strangers~ tyler x oc

third person p.o.v.

“oh abbie, could you run out to the store for me real quick? i’m making dinner for our guests tonight and i forgot some ingredients.” abbie’s mom yells from the kitchen into the living room.

abbie brett’s life is a whirlwind. chaotic, wild, and unexpected, yet thrilling at the same time. her mom is all over the place, yet so lovable. her dad is a quiet, reserved man, but also the funniest guy you will ever meet. her younger brother will is a competitive basketball freak, yet super sweet and caring. abbie herself is a spunky, energetic, optimistic 17 year old.

“what guests?” abbie asks, having not been notified of this information. her mom turns off the faucet water and dries a pan off as she turns the stove on. “oh, i’m sorry, i guess i forgot to tell you that we have new neighbors, and i invited them over for dinner tonight!” she cheers happily as she clears the counter from clutter.

abbie rushes and helps get the rest of the junk off the counter so her mom won’t have to. her mom smiles sweetly at her. “okay, i’ll swing by kroger real quick. do you have a list of things you need?” abbie asks, leaning her elbows on the counter with a hopeful expression. “i did actually! here it is.” she says as she hands the list to abbie. abbie smiles. “thanks mom! i’ll be as quick as i can!” she says with a smile as she grabs her keys and heads out the door.

~~~~~~

“hm...expires march fifth? i’m gonna need to find a new gallon.” abbie mumbles to herself as she puts one of the milk gallon back into the store fridges. she pulls out another one and examines it closely. suddenly she feels someone bump into her side harshly, causing her to drop her basket of items and stumble to the side. she trips on her basket, tipping it over on the process, and falls to the floor. the milk gallon goes flying out of her hand and hits the floor hard, casing it to burst, milk going everywhere.

“oh my god i’m so sorry.” a voice frantically says as a hand is offered to her from her state on the ground. she looks up to see a man standing over her with a horrified look on his face. she takes his hand and he helps her up to her to her feet. “are you okay? are you hurt? gosh i’m such an idiot i’m so sorry.” the words come tumbling out of his mouth, heavy with guilt and regret.

“i’m fine, don’t worry about it. besides, i wasn’t aware of you even being here so it’s on me.” she says with a smile as she lets go of his hand and brushes off her shirt and skinny jeans.

“no, i wasn’t paying any attention. i was walking backwards and then turned around to run because i was getting anxious, i couldn’t find the right isle. but i ran right into you and-geez, i’m really sorry.” he says, running a hand through his hair.

“hey, like i said, don’t worry about it. it’s not a big deal.” abbie says as she shoves her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “are you sure?” he asks, concern still clear to see on his face. abbie’s smile grows. “i’m sure.” finally his expression slowly morphs into somewhat of a happy one.

“i’ll help pick up your things.” he offers as he walk over and crouches on the ground, collecting the few ingredients that had fallen out of her basket. once they’re all in, he smiles and gives the basket back to her. “thanks.” abbie says. “no problem. what are you shopping for?” he switches conversations casually.

abbie laughs. “well, my mom is a pretty frazzled woman and forgot some ingredients for dinner tonight. she also didn’t tell me that we’re having guests over. apparently they’re new to the neighborhood, guess she wanted to make a good first impression on them.” she shrugs as she finishes. the man’s face lights up. “that’s...a little weird. my mom just told me that we’re heading over to our neighbor’s house tonight because they insisted upon having us over.”

abbie pauses. “do...do you think that maybe..” abbie trails off. “maybe.” he shrugs. abbie nods, thinking. “well, if i do happen to see you tonight at my house i might laugh at the situation.” abbie remarks. he smirks. “i hope it’s not just a coincidence, i’d like to see you more often.” he says with a cute smile. abbie smiles in return. “that’d be nice.” she says. his smile grows and his cheeks turn the lightest shade of pink.

“alright, i’d better get going, i told my mom i’d hurry as fast as i could.” she admits.

“oh, sorry. i’ll maybe see you around? uhh...i didn’t catch your name..” he says slowly. abbie smirks as she begins walking off. “i didn’t throw it.” she calls as she turns completely around and heads to the checkouts.

tyler stands there for a few seconds, not knowing what to make of her last remark. “guess i’ll have to take it from you.” he mumbles with a smirk before going off in search of the ice cream isle he could find before.

~~~~~~

“come in!! come in.” abbie’s mom announces as the supposed new neighbors step into the house. a woman with blonde hair, looking around your mom’s age, steps in first and gives her a hug, thanking her for being so nice and going out of her way to prepare a meal for everyone. abbie’s mom waits until everyone is inside and leads them all to the dining room. followed by the mom enters the father, and two children, a boy and a girl. the girl looks to be around abbie’s age, maybe a little younger, and the boy looks a little younger than the girl. stops and looks behind her before sighing and running back to the front door, which is still open.

“tyler, zack! you guys coming or not?” she yells at them. she sighs again before noticing abbie standing by the doorway with a confused look on her face. “oh, sorry, my brothers are always messing around.” she rolls her eyes. abbie laughs. “trust me, i know the situation.” the girl smiles and offers her hand. “i’m maddy.” she says with a cute smile. abbie smiles back. “abbie.” she says. maddy turns around and goes off to the dinner table.

abbie sees one of the two other boys follow their sister style. she stands there for a second, wondering where the other brother could be. she turns to the doorway and sees a boy with familiar, fluffy brown hair smirking at her from where he stands. it’s the same boy from the store.

“abbie, huh?” he says snarkily. abbie rolls her eyes. “yep, that’s me.” she shrugs with a smile. “it’s a nice name.” he says. her smiles grows. “probably a lot less nice than yours.” she replies. he smirks again. “yeah, but you don’t know my name yet.” he points out.

abbie crosses her arms. “well, i know that it’s either tyler or zack. and you look much more like a tyler than you do a zack, so i’m gonna guess you’re tyler.” she explains.

his eyebrows raise briefly. abbie smirks in victory. “c’mon, food’s this way.” she says as she waves him over to follow her to the table. he shakes his head and smiles as he walks in her path behind her.

as they near the table, they see two empty spots open, across the table from each other. “do you two know each other?” tyler’s mom asks upon seeing them enter together with smiles. “well kinda, we ran into each other at the store earlier today.” tyler says as he sits down. “you ran into me.” abbie corrects with a smirk. tyler rolls his eyes. “same thing.” he smiles. the two moms share a look with one another, both silently already agreeing that their son and daughter would make a great pair.

abbie gets to know everyone throughout the night as they eat, and she already likes this family. a lot. maddy and will seem to be a little shy around one another, which causes abbie to ship them immediately. abbie talks the most with tyler. he tells her about his life and she tells him about her own. by the time everyone’s done eating, it’s like the two of them had been friends for many years prior to this evening.

as everyone’s exiting, tyler lingers by one of the pillars, leaning against it. he watches as abbie nears him, soon leaning against the pillar as well. “well? you gonna leave yet?” she asks as she crosses her arms over her chest, looking up at him. he smiles and shakes his head.

“well i was, but first i’m gonna need your phone.” he says nonchalantly. abbie’s eyebrows narrow in confusion. “my what-why do you need my phone?” she asks. “just trust me and hand it over.” he says with an ever growing smile.

“i feel like i’m under arrest.” abbie jokes as she takes her phone out of her pocket, types in her passcode and gives it to him. he chuckles as he types away. “what are you doing?” abbie asks after several seconds of watching him work. “oh, y’know, i’m just adding my contact into your phone.” he says as if it’s no big deal. you hear a ding go off, followed by tyler taking his phone out of his pocket. “oh how nice, you just sent me a text.” he smirks. abbie gasps and swipes her phone back out of his grasp.

new message with: tyjo 😍💘

(y/n):

hey boo

whatcha doin? 🤪👊🏻

abbie rolls her eyes. “really tyler?” she says as he laughs again. “your family’s probably waiting for you, dork.” she punches him in the arm. “alright, alright, i’m going!” he says as he starts backtracking out the door. abbie shakes her head and smiles to herself. tyler hadn’t gone very far before he suddenly stops and turns around, smiling at her. he runs forward and tackles her in a bear hug. abbie squeals as she begs for him to unleash her. “tyler i ca-i can’t breathe!” she manages to get out between laughter and actual struggle to breathe. he pulls back with a wide smile and a short giggle. he looks her in the eyes, and for the first time, abbie feels this strange feeling inside her, and she doesn’t know what to do with it. “bye abbie.” he gives a small wave. abbie smirks back. “bye tyler.” she waves back.

and with that, the boy is off. abbie closes the door and turns around, smile still on her face. she sees her mom standing there, an even bigger smile adorning her face. abbie’s smile slowly fades. “mom, no...” “abbie i think he’s a keeper.” she says. abbie laughs and rolls her eyes as she turns to go up the stairs. “mom i don’t even like him like that, i just met him today for heaven’s sake.” she retorts. her mom shrugs. “i may be wrong, but i know love at first sight when i see it dear.” she calls as abbie opens the door to her room. abbie stops in her tracks for a couple seconds at her mom’s last sentence before shaking it off and closing the door slowly.

she collapses on her bed and stares up at her ceiling. “i don’t like tyler, do i?” she says quietly to herself. she sits there for minutes thinking about all the conversations she had with that boy. that wonderful, fluffy haired, amber eyed boy with a big heart and the cutest smile. eventually abbie realizes that every time she thinks about him, she smiles without realizing and her heart swells and she feels all warm inside and-

uh oh.

abbie brett likes tyler joseph.

her heart starts beating incredibly fast. she can’t like him like him, they just met! no one falls for someone the day they meet them.....do they?

crap. what is she gonna do?

she spends minutes thinking about how she can either try to stop liking him, or just...deal with it. but she doesn’t want to do anything about it currently. she’s too freaked out to make any decisions at the moment.

abbie grabs her phone and immediately calls her best friend tatum. tatum has been a friend of abbie’s for years, they’ve been through practically everything together. tatum is the person abbie goes to when she doesn’t know what to do.

and right now is one of those times.

~~~2 years later~~~

just as abbie predicted and hoped, will and maddy are dating now, abbie taking pride in being the captain of that ship. tatum, surprisingly, had taken a severe liking to the second joseph brother, zack. they weren’t dating yet, but it was clear to see they both really liked each other.

abbie’s still stuck where she was about two-ish years ago, thinking that there’s no way tyler likes her back although tatum keeps insisting it’s clear as day that he does.

she just doesn’t know what to do. he’s her best friend, and she’s hopelessly in love with him.

but, she’ll have to decide what to do later. right now she needs to figure out how to do her calculus homework. she taps her pencil on the table by the window in the living room and scans her brain for the right equation, or where to put the variables in the given equation.

abbie grabs her phone and goes to his contact, tapping on the phone icon under his name.

the line rings a few times before she hears a soft “hey, what’s up?” on the other side. abbie smiles. “tyler, can you calculus?” she asks. there’s a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. “can i what?” “can you calculus?” she repeats simply. “well, i wasn’t the best at it for the one year i was in college but sure, i can calculus. why?” he questions. “can you come over? i’m in dire need of help. my parents are useless when it comes to math.” abbie explains to him. he pauses briefly. “well, i did just finish packing for the flight tomorrow, so i guess i could swing by-” “thanks ty, seeya soon!” abbie interrupts and hangs up the phone abruptly like she usually does.

she should feel bad about it, but she doesn’t. each time she does that she laughs afterwards because she knows tyler’s laughing as well, even though she can’t hear him.

after a few minutes, the door opens. abbie snaps her head over. “how the heck did you open the door?” tyler holds up his hand, revealing a set of keys. “spare pair under the welcome mat.” he smirks and tosses them in the air once, catching them when they fall.

abbie sighs and leans back into her chair. “you know me too well joseph.” he chuckles and sits down in the chair across from yours. “i still don’t know everything about you though, brett.” he admits as he swings the keys around his finger.

“alright, what’cha need?” he sits forward and places the keys on the table. abbie runs a hand through her hair. “everything.” she admits shyly, looking up at him. he sighs. “well, let’s get to it.”

~~~~~~

“how have you not learned that already?”

“it’s not my fault! he never taught us this method!!”

“well he’s dumb!”

“okay but he really is though! like he doesn’t know what he’s teaching. he’ll be teaching us something, and then he’ll stop in the middle of the lesson and look in the freaking textbook for the answer because HE DOESN’T FREAKING KNOW WHAT HE’S TEACHING!” abbie exclaims, annoyed and frustrated.

“woahhh calm down, it’s just math.” tyler says. abbie sighs and puts her head in her hands. “that’s the point.” she mutters defeatedly. tyler looks at her for a few seconds before he stands up out of his chair, getting abbie’s attention. he smiles and holds his arms out. “c’mere.” he says quietly. abbie slowly gets up and walks into his embrace.

“you’re still a baby.” he says with a smile. abbie pulls back, frowning jokingly. “that’s not very nice.” she says, her little frown turning into a smile.

tyler smiles at her and leans against the pillar by the table. “this is giving me some heavy deja vu.” he remarks, recalling the day they met and how his family came to her house for dinner. abbie nods. “me too.” they stand there for a few more seconds, saying nothing, just looking at each other.

tyler takes in a slow breath. “y’know, there was something i wanted to do that night i was here, but i didn’t end up doing it.” he admits. abbie quirks an eyebrow. “why?” he shrugs. “it definitely would have scared you off.” he says before chuckling. abbie scoffs. “well i’m sure it couldn’t have been that bad. nothing you do will ever scare me off, you’re my best friend.” she tells him.

abbie watches as tyler’s smile instantly fades and the sees a look of hurt on his face for a split second. he looks down and sighs shortly. “and that’s exactly why i didn’t do it.” he mumbles quietly. abbie suddenly feels this heavy weight of guilt upon her. did she do something wrong?

tyler sighs and stands up. “i should probably get going.” he says gloomily. abbie stands up immediately and rushes forward to stop him. “wait what...tyler was it something i said?” she asks, pleading with him to stay. she pulls him to face her, looking him in the eyes. his jaw tightens briefly. “yeah, just forget about it though, it’s fine.” he says as he, once again, turns to head out the front door.

“tyler w-...what did i say?” she grabs his wrist and pulls him back from the door. tyler sighs. “i said forget about it abbie. forget i even said anything alright?” he turns yet again to grab the doorknob. abbie doesn’t let go of his wrist. “no i wanna know what it was that i said that made you so upset because i’m sorry! i hate being the source of your distress and i just wanna help.” she pleads.

tyler turns abruptly towards her. “alright!” he says at a much louder level, not quite shouting, but close. abbie flinches and freezes at the level of his volume. she’s never heard him this loud before.

“i-i don’t wanna be just best friends.” he starts. abbie’s heart nearly stops. his eyes water for a split second before he blinks the tears away and continues. “and i know you don’t feel the same way because of what you just said.” abbie is completely silent now. “abbie i’ve been head over freaking heels for you ever since i ran into you at that kroger and you’ve been too gosh darn oblivious to notice.”

he runs a hand through his hair, frustrated and extremely hurt. “listen, i’m sorry for getting upset with you, i just.....” he sighs. “i gotta go. i have an early morning and a flight to catch tomorrow.” he says, although he knows you’re already aware of this information.

he puts his hand back on the doorknob and twists it, opening the door. “tyler!” abbie calls as he begins walking down the front driveway. he keeps walking out as if he hadn’t heard her. she grabs the keys off the rack on and wall and scurries off after him, shoving them in her pocket.

when she nears him, she reaches out and grabs a hold of his wrist again. “tyler...” she pulls him back to face her once again and doesn’t hesitate in grabbing his face with her other hand and pulling his lips onto hers.

she breaks the kiss almost immediately to see tyler standing a centimeter from her. his eyes remain closed and his breaths fan her lips for a couple seconds before he opens his eyes and looks at her, trying to make sense of what just happened.

abbie smiles. “come on, i’ll walk you home.” she laughs at his still shocked expression and starts walking off in the direction of his house.

“wait! wait, you can’t just...” tyler starts as he walks after her. his mouth still remains slightly open and he slows his pace as he nears her. he studies her for several seconds, still trying his best to attempt to understand her and what’s going on inside her mind.

“you....do...do you like me?” he asks straightforwardly. abbie nods. “same day you liked me apparently. only i realized it after you left my house. took me about half an hour, but i did realize eventually. i’ve...just been too scared to do anything about it.” she explains with a smile.

the baffled expression remains on his face and he runs a hand through his hair slowly. “i don’t get you.” he states before abbie laughs and hugs him tightly. “to be honest i don’t always understand myself either.” she admits against his chest.

he shifts his position and rests his forehead and nose on hers. he stays there for a few seconds before smiling and pressing a kiss to her forehead. abbie giggles and starts walking. “come on, let’s go. you’ve got a busy couple months ahead of you joseph.” she motions for him to follow her, which, he does almost immediately.

tyler sighs as the two of them walk along. “i’m not gonna see you for two whole months abbie.” he looks down at her sadly. abbie smiles before feeling his fingers brush lightly against hers as they walk, sending electricity radiating throughout her stomach. “hey, we’ll keep in touch though, won’t we?” she states more than asks.

“i mean i hope so. if we don’t, i’m gonna go crazy.” he admits. a few seconds later her hand grazes his again. before her hand can leave though, he takes the chance, lacing his fingers through hers. abbie’s heart starts racing as her cheeks turn pink. tyler chuckles at her. “you’re adorable, you know that?” “i do, actually. thanks though.” abbie replies with a smile. tyler rolls his eyes as his smile grows.

they talk for the next few minutes until they, sadly, reach tyler’s house. before tyler can unlock his door, abbie turns and throws herself onto him, clinging to him like this is the last time she’ll see him ever again.

“now i don’t wanna leave.” tyler sighs, arms resting lightly on abbie’s waist. abbie smiles up at him. “it’s alright. we can still text and facetime.” she reassures simply. “yeah i guess. it’s not the same as seeing you in person though.” he says gloomily.

abbie ruffles his hair a couple times. “you’ll be fine.” he narrows his eyebrows and runs his hand through his hair after she does, fixing it the way he likes it. tyler smiles at her for several seconds, allowing the fluttery feeling in his stomach to go on for however long it will. he brings one hand up to her face and pulls her lips against his a second time, only this time it’s more than a half second peck.

abbie smiles into the kiss as her heart surges out of her chest at the feeling. she tugs on his jacket, pulling him ever so slightly closer to her. tyler breaks the kiss after a while and holds her against him lovingly. “do i have to go on tour?” tyler asks quietly with his forehead touching abbie’s. abbie gives a small laugh. “well, you decided to make a tour, so yes, you do.” she tells him. he sighs. “i guess.”

abbie stands on her toes and pecks his lips one last time. “like i said, you’ll be fine ty.” he gives a half smile and pulls her into one of the biggest hugs he’s ever given her. abbie buries her face into his chest. eventually they pull back, sadly, and say their goodbyes. tyler opens his door and waves at abbie with the cutest of smiles before closing it. abbie smiles to herself as she starts walking back to her house.

thank god for kroger.

end:)

cheese much?? maybe? idk

[totaleebookedout]

The Wall of Winnipeg and Me

Book Review (spoilers)

3.8/5 ⭐️

I know 3.8 doesn’t seem like I liked the book but I really did! I loved each character, even the side characters were lovable. Honestly, this book raised my standards even higher than they already were. Where can I find myself an Aiden Graves???? a girl is searching. He is broody, reasonable, an adorable giant defensive football player who is also plant-based! at first I didn’t think I would like him because of the whole broodiness and mysterious vibe, but just like the fl Vanessa, I came to truly love him. I respect that he totally keeps to himself and is private about his life. At times it was difficult, as a reader, to grasp at what he thinking. But overtimes as he grew we were able to see that growth much more profoundly because he was an absolute wall in the beginning. Vanessa is a great fl. I do feel like she didn’t grow as much as Aiden, however, I love how real she was. When she felt nervous, I felt it. Finding courage is never easy and when she decided to quit her stable job to pursue her own dreams I couldn’t help but root for a friend. The fact that she found the will to run a freaking marathon astounds me! She has a strong mentality and I found inspiration in that. Her biological family is literally the worst, but without all that turmoil she wouldn’t be the awesome fl we know. Vanessa and Aiden as a couple is equivalent to a warm hug. They don’t talk much, but they love being in each other’s company and the amount of acts of service (love language) in this book– I was squealing. The secondary characters, Diana and Zac were welcoming. They are the friends you wished you had.

The writing style wasn’t my cup of tea. This was probably the biggest reason why I gave it a 3.8 rather than a full 4 stars. It was full of fluff that I didn’t care for tbh. There were times I questioned why I needed to know exactly what was in Aiden’s closet? Or what Vanessa was wearing down to her socks. It was just little details like that I didn’t care for. After reaching halfway I just got used to seeing those extra, unnecessary details. But I’d rather not get used it and leave the fluff out completely. Another reason why I couldn’t give it a full 4 stars is the fact that the author completely skimmed over abuse. Aiden, Vanessa, and Diana have experienced abuse and were discussed in the book. However, it was completely glossed over. I understand that realistically there is no immediate solution, but I would have like to go into greater detail on how they could find help or solace. I’m not sure if Diana has her own novel, but I was worried about her when nothing was mentioned after her move back to her parents home.

Ok now for the good parts. I absolutely adored the slow burn. It is a strangers to friends to lovers, marriage of convenience (fake marriage), “I hate everyone but you” tropes. I appreciate the fact that the main characters found a way to communicate. Vanessa had this constant inner monologue about how she was afraid of speaking her mind and kept it in. But after some time she said “fuck it” and just said whatever she needed to say. I think because of this, Aiden felt comfortable enough to slowly open up to her. It was so cute! Lemme just say, if a storm is raging outside and the lights shut off, I wouldn’t run to a room and cuddle with them hahaha but Aiden would. That dude really went to Vanessa’s room to check if she was ok and then they cuddled. Oh! and this was when they were still in the beginning phases of their friendship. When I tell you I was squealing… or when they spent Christmas together and watched Dragonball Z??? goddamn it I nearly lost it. Don’t mind me, just adding watching anime with a hot football player to my list ㅠㅠ This might be a controversial take, but I don’t mind how there was only one sex scene. I could probably even do without it completely. Their budding romance was so rewarding I felt content the way they were already. That one sex scene was like the cherry on top, didn’t really need it but made it better, ja feel? Another scene that had me on my knees was when Aiden flew to see Vanessa at her book convention. She was a nervous wreck and lost some confidence in her work. But when he surprised her by showing up I was nearly in tears. She was comforted by his presence and found some of her confidence again. Another time when she finished her marathon and Aiden surprised her, again, by being at the finish line. Wow. I had to put the book down and gather my thoughts. My expectations for romance sky rocketed after that. Aiden saying, “that’s my girl” and “Graves don’t quit!” ahhhhhh I wanted to jump into that book and witness it with my own eyes. And the handful of times Aiden and Vanessa said “we’re a team” I clenched my weak heart. And one more scene that stuck out to me was when Aiden was leaving for Colorado to train off-season. Vanessa and Aiden knew they loved each other but none of them verbally admitted it yet. Aiden kissed her goodbye and bear hugged her. Vanessa’s inner monologue saying how she’ll really miss him, ugh that hurt. This little intimate moment was heart-warming. The scene was so short (literally one paragraph) but I felt the love they had for each other here the most.

Oh god, there were so many moments and scenes I wanna discuss but I feel like I would write days and days about it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to find myself an Aiden Graves if that’s even possible ㅠㅠㅠ

[daemominus]

TAGGED BY:  @enshrxned

↪ REPOST!! DO NOT REBLOG!!

━━ FULL NAME:  Vergil Bellamy ━━ GENDER & SEXUALITY:  male, (heteroromantic) demisexual ━━ ETHNICITY & SPECIES:  seemingly North American; nephilim ━━ BIRTHPLACE & BIRTHDATE:  Limbo City (state N/A), United States; November 26th (year N/A)

━ GUILTY PLEASURES:  I don’t think anything he likes doing makes him feel guilty. Excessive consumption of sweets, maybe? Like if he’s caught downing a whole pint of Häagen-Dazs-- wait maybe that’s more embarrassing than anything.

━ PHOBIAS:  Fears he has, but phobias? Perhaps mysophobia, but I debate this with myself.

━ WHAT THEY WOULD BE FAMOUS / INFAMOUS FOR:  Forming, heading, and actively taking part in The Order, a known “terrorist” group; being the “masked freak on the ‘net.” Aiding in the demise of a former demon king. Aspiring to rule over humanity, unlike Mundus, though still poised to take his place (though that depends on if word of any of this spreads around).

━ WHAT HAVE THEY / WOULD THEY HAVE GOTTEN ARRESTED FOR:  He has eluded the law thus far, and he’s done so by breaking it. Hacking into state and government databases, manipulating his public and private records, forging "legal” documents, identity theft or manipulation to a degree, falsification of credit or financial records---to name a few. I would also lightly suggest murder, but as I’m aware it was done out of self-defense, and then there’s also indirect mass murder, but that one’s totally unintentional. Haha.................

━ A CHARACTER YOU SHIP THEM WITH:  No canon ones. Only an OC, Bianca, which I’m sure has already become well-known as his lifelong ladylove.

━ CHARACTER MOST LIKELY TO MURDER THEM:  Mundus, if the opportunity were ever there. Though I mean Dante almost did and Vergil pretty much died by Dante’s hand even if it wasn’t instant I mean--

━ FAVORITE BOOK GENRE:  Anything covering the occult/paranormal, though he will prefer nonfiction in regard to these subjects. Handbooks and codices, journals and studies are among those he reads primarily. He’s also keen on reading ancient poetry/prose, or teaching himself to read this. Historical accounts and biographies are quite fun, more than anything, to read. But in any case, he’s always willing to learn something from the material. If it’s educational, he won’t mind reading it: the more knowledge he accumulates, the better.

━ LEAST FAVORITE BOOK CLICHE:  Forced/pointless romance I guess? I don’t think he really cares.

━ TALENTS AND / OR POWERS:  Electronic hacking/infiltration, data manipulation, computer programming, being multilingual, analytical thinking, superhuman senses (and having a sixth sense), swordsmanship and close quarters combat, firearms training. Powers include psychokinesis, memory erasure; his angelic gifts allow him to glide a limited distance, while his demonic gifts allow him to transition instantly from one place to another, though also a limited distance, and to enter a state of enhanced power, Devil Trigger, from which he can generate a doppelganger. He can also conjure projectiles in the shape of swords.

━ WHY SOMEONE MIGHT LOVE THEM:  I think his loyalty and reliability might be the first thing someone would find anchoring. Out of all the things he is, or does, the most comforting part of getting to know him would be finding out that he will defend you, or do something for you which he may have promised previously. He’s true to his word, he won’t fail you. Even if he doesn’t know you all that well, he will hardly find himself betraying or deceiving. He does have a sense of justice to follow, and his own morality will push him to doing right by you---if you deserve it. That alone, I believe, would be more than enough to put him in someone’s favor. Superficial traits aside, he’s fairly lovable depending on you.

━ WHY SOMEONE MIGHT HATE THEM:  AND THE FLIP SIDE IS that he’s just as easy to hate. It might be easier for an outsider to take note of the traits that make him unappealing, even repellent. Perhaps his critical, keen eye might become annoying very fast. His tendency toward suspicion might tire you. I believe it’s his arrogance and his pride that may very well discourage people the most. He will always place himself above humanity, boast of his blood and his prowess. He’s going to distance himself from human nature, even deny that he is much like a human for the sake of perching atop his pedestal. His ego is swelled, thus rather sensitive. You may think he’s pretentious, self-entitled, and self-serving, and you’d be right for the most part. No one really likes a prima donna.

━ HOW THEY CHANGE:  He doesn’t in any way that would lend him grace. The period encompassing his downfall and his own ascension is a short one, but it impacts him in deep ways. Maybe when he was once naive, tolerant, and good-humored, he would have become more cynical, prone to impatience and frustration, and less likely to extend amiability. If he was cautious before, then he’s as good as paranoid now. He is less willing to trust in others, less willing to form bonds. In fact, it’s a heavy challenge to clear these hurdles if you’re the one trying to get close to him. In the past, he may have held a neutral position toward angels; leaving Hell, however, has damaged his view of them almost irreversibly. He hates them now, can’t stand them. And I’m just listing off a handful of changes he’s gone through, from post-game to post-Vergil’s Downfall. I haven’t even touched upon the physical and mental impacts the trial has had over him. From growing more powerful, he’s lost mental stability. In fact, he is continually losing his mind to the corruption he harbors. This, as well as entering Devil Trigger, also takes a toll on his physical health---mainly that of his heart. It’s all a slow progression, however, probably meant to prolong the inevitable so that he may feel it and struggle through. In short: he becomes darker, more demonic, more twisted in his points of view. BUT you can’t really tell at first glance. It takes some digging to realize what’s happened to him.

━ WHY YOU LOVE THEM:  He’s cute and a baby. The fruit of my loins. I really do see him as a good boy even though he’d fucked up along the way. His intentions were good, albeit not entirely selfless, but it’s his sentiment behind his actions that led everything to happen in the first place. Aside from some plot holes and iffy writing and vague shit that hasn’t been fleshed out, I feel like his reactions to everything, though exaggerated or just plain questionable, are realistic and justifiable based on who he is, how he thinks, how he deals with his emotions, etc. He’s not supposed to be a “normal” person (because he ain’t human to begin with lmao), he’s grown up differently, he’s fueled by different instincts, and on top of that he’s got a few personality issues, an inferiority complex to some degree, and all of these things are meant to make him the way he is. And because of this, I feel strongly that he is believable. He has things wrong with him, he’s totally wrong in some ways, fucked up in others, and I love that. It helps reinforce his characterization; like he can build justification upon justification with personality traits alone. There’s always a reason that a part of him is, whether or not it’s flawed. He might be blind to some flaws and accepting of others, and all of this helps build his layers. I find that he’s very complex, has many facets to his being. I’ve always been impressed by that. I, myself, have a hard time on occasion to explain one thing or another about him because there’s so much there to explore and understand, and every point has an added side to it. I’m not blind to the wrongs, but I’ll admit I’m so biased and defensive of him that I’m always going to deny the idea that he’s a villain, your classic antagonist. He shouldn’t have been treated that way, reduced to a foil, which I honestly think is pretty unfair considering how the twins handled one another’s differences? In the first place Vergil is just too careful to say outright that he’s gonna rule humanity?? Like I’m sorry but it’s totally unfair in my eyes that he was set up to be the bad guy and IT HURTS MAN, IT HURTS. And yeah I’m gonna blame Dante for choosing to put up his dukes rather than talk it out with his brother who, by the way, hadn’t suggested in the slightest that they fight out their differences. I mean your own flesh and blood who you’ve just started to rebuild a kinship with? Who really wanted you in his life because damn it he loved his brother and he didn’t want to lose you again?? And you want to fight him so fast??? Sorry that’s wrong, you didn’t even give my boy a chance to save face smh. Bitch all I’m saying is he ain’t a villain at heart because he’s got no evil intent during the main game; post-Downfall he’s pretty fucked up because of that dark shit he embraced and now he feels betrayed beyond belief and I have more to say I will fight everyone--

TAGGING:  whoever’s inspired to fill this out tbh

[amylanchester]

PitchWars #PimpMyBio

Hi, I’m Amy.

This is my first ever PitchWars, and I’m hyped af.

About My Manuscript

Title: More Fierce Than Fire (title comes from here)

Genre: YA Contemporary Fantasy

Word Count: 75,000

Comps: The Young Elites by Marie Lu, The Story of Owen by E. K. Johnston

Sixteen-year-old Abigail Hunter, the best healer in Grady Hospital’s Magical Trauma Ward, has a secret. Ten years ago, Abby wished her mother dead on the worst possible day—the day dragons awoke and brought magical powers to everyone in the world. Abby's angry wish became the powerful spell that ended her mother's life. 

Abby has devoted her life to healing magic to atone for the sins of her past. Though she’s still afraid of losing control, she has become increasingly aware of the threat the dragons pose and frustrated that she is helpless to do anything about it. Hoping to develop the skills required to protect others, she joins a new United Nations-sponsored program which promises to give her the chance to work directly with the dragons and their victims. Training with some of the best young mages in the world, she prepares for the war to come.

And the war is coming. When a group of unregistered mages leads the dragons in a deadly attack on American cities, Abby must decide if she’s ready to join the fight against them, or if she’ll be stuck reliving the mistakes of her past forever. 

A Note About Diversity

Diversity is extremely important to me in my writing. Most of the characters in my book other than my MC are POC and/or LGBTQ. I did not feel that I had the skill or experience to write a first-person perspective for a POC/LGBTQ character, so I didn’t. However, I have been fortunate to grow up in an extremely diverse place, so I’ve included a number of POC/LGBTQ characters (loosely) based on real people. I feel that authentic, thoughtful representation is important in all forms of media and am hoping to find a mentor who feels the same.

MS Pinterest Board

Novel Aesthetic (Quotes & More on My Instagram)

About Me

Let’s start this the way you did back in pre-school. My name is Amy Lanchester, and I’m twenty-eight years old. My favorite color is pink (and has been since long before millennial pink became a thing #ILikedItBeforeItWasCool). More Fierce Than Fire is my first novel. 

I’m “from Atlanta” in the way that most people who say they are “from Atlanta” are “from Atlanta,” in that I actually grew up about thirty minutes away and only moved to the city as an adult. I set my book here because I feel that entirely too many books are set in NYC, London, or Chicago.

I’ve been funemployed for the past year.

I started my first “real job” before I’d even finished my master’s degree, and after working there for three years, I decided I wanted to do a few things before I’m too old/settled. So I’ve traveled Europe:

ALL

OVER

EUROPE

and the western United States:

ALL

OVER

THE 

WILD

WEST

and I finally achieved a life goal in writing this book. I highly recommend taking a “gap year” to anyone who is able.

I live with my boyfriend and our beautiful asshole of a cat, Bret. We found him about two years ago at a local McDonald’s hanging out near the drive-thru. We went back the next day and lured him out with bits of hamburger, and he’s been our lovable jerk of a pet ever since. 

Why You Should Mentor Me

- I am really, really serious about this. I’ve devoted an insane amount of time, energy, and research on this project in the past year and fully intend to see it through all the way. I love and believe in my work. 

- I am crazy meticulous. I come from a STEM background, and I use the tools I learned there in my work. I’m a firm believer in spreadsheets, outlines, automation, and using technology to the fullest. I am a grammar nut who googles everything she isn’t sure about and spends hours nerding out reading style guides and grammar blogs.

- I take criticism well. I’m a fairly self-critical person who is realistic about her flaws and shortcomings. Though I love my work, I know it is far from perfect, and I am greatly looking forward to receiving a thoughtful critique. You won’t hurt my feelings. I want my work to be the best it can be, and I know that takes knowledge and experience I don’t have.

Writing History

I had the idea for my MS in May 2016. It was inspired by this tumblr post which made its way to reddit (a site I love and hate and spend entirely too much time on):

I decided I could write that book, and so I did. I wrote a prologue that I cut and part of the first chapter on a train from Warsaw to Berlin in September. I made an outline when I got back home in October, and I wrote the rest of the book during NaNoWriMo 2016. I did finish my 50,000 words in November, but the book wasn’t done. I had a completed (terrible) first draft of about 55,000 words by the first week of December. 

My first draft was mostly just dialogue and action. I discovered that I hate writing description as much as I hate reading it. So my next several drafts mostly involved adding description to scenes, and it took forever. I cut several scenes and characters entirely during this process and added a few more scenes and characters, bringing my final word count to 75,000 words. My current draft contains very little from the original NaNoWriMo draft, and believe me, that’s for the best.

Writing Style

I am definitely a planner. I would have gotten nowhere without my outline or character spreadsheet. However, most of my character’s personalities came out through writing their dialogue. I used dialogue (that I went back and cut because it was boring and redundant) to solve plot problems and work out motivations in scenes. If I ever got stuck, I just started writing a conversation between my characters, and it solved basically all of my problems. 

How I Write 

I started writing in Scrivener, a program I’d gotten for free when I worked at the Apple Store back in 2010. It helped me a lot with organizing scenes and research. I transitioned to Google Docs after a save file got corrupted and I spent an evening panicking that I’d lost everything (I hadn’t, thank God). Google Docs sucks for long documents, but it saves to the cloud every few seconds, so I suffered through it.

I write at night almost exclusively. My best creative work comes after midnight, and usually once I’m already in bed.

I dread having to get back on a normal schedule because the night owl life is best for my writing.

Favorite Writing Resources

- Excel/Google Sheets

- Grammar Girl

- Chicago Manual of Style (I’m too poor to actually own this, but I use their FAQs and this hyphenation table all the time.)

- Hemingway Editor

- Grammarly

- ProWritingAid

Upcoming Projects Preview

I have so many ideas. I think of new project ideas every day, and I constantly struggle not to get distracted by my newest, shiniest concept. Here are a couple of things I’ve started planning:

- Shakespeare’s plays retold in a combined setting like into the Woods or Marissa Meyer’s The Lunar Chronicles. A central, overarching series plot with individual volumes devoted to some of the plots of the original plays. I’ll be combining side characters from one show with main characters from another.

- A space opera/sci-fi series centered on a girl who rescues an alien from a hostile species at war with Earth’s space empires. The aliens have superior technology and are annihilating the space colonies, but we can’t communicate with them. My MC and her android nanny devise a method for rudimentary communication and are captured by government forces who have ulterior motives.

Stuff I Like

Books

- Harry Potter, obviously. Prisoner of Azkaban is my favorite. I spent years convincing myself I was a Gryffindor like Hermione, my hero, but I’m really a Ravenclaw.

- The Young Elites by Marie Lu

- Exit, Pursued by a Bear by E. K. Johnston

- A Song of Ice and Fire by George R. R. Martin

- Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

- Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov

- 1984 by George Orwell

- Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes

TV Shows

I freaking love TV. 

I’m convinced that if Ray Bradbury had lived in the Golden Age of Television that we’re living through, he would never have written Fahrenheit 451.

A short list of shows I love: Futurama, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Parks and Recreation, BoJack Horseman, Game of Thrones, The Handmaid’s Tale, Breaking Bad, The Wire, Jessica Jones, Broadchurch, Steven Universe, Stranger Things, You’re the Worst, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

Musicals 

I love Broadway so much. 

I’ve been in (school productions of) Once on This Island, Les Miserables, Into the Woods, and Dreamgirls. Other shows I love include Hamilton, The Book of Mormon, The Last Five Years, Aida, Phantom of the Opera, Evita, The Sound of Music, Fiddler on the Roof, and West Side Story.

Cosplay 

I picked up cosplay a few years back. I didn’t own a sewing machine, didn’t know how to sew, and had limited crafting experience. I taught myself using books, online tutorials, and YouTube videos. Some of my projects:

Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones

Chell from Portal

Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter

Elsa from Frozen

Joy from Inside Out

Eleven from Stranger Things

That was entirely too long, and I’m sorry.

If you read this far, you’re probably my soulmate. Please send me a message on Twitter and let me know. :)