#adhd in a nutshell ya'll

[toloveawarlord]

2023 has ended! It's a new year!

For the short version: I am looking forward to the year and leaving my past failures behind me. I want to write more and do things that make me happy. I am also learning to balance an 8 hr work shift and running a side business all in a short day! It's been a year ya'll!

For a more detailed musing:

New years is the time where resets happen! An entire 365 Days to do what I didn't do last year. As absolutely cliche as it is, I've always liked the idea of a "new" year. Especially since this year I'll be 30! I'm not afraid of age, because my brain doesn't grasp time like neurotypicals, so I'm not dreading an arbitrary number that means nothing to me. But society makes into a line in the sand for adulthood and having some semblance of having one's life together- which I find fascinating but that's a whole other rabbit hole.

*As a tiny caveat, I am speaking solely about my own views and feelings. So no need to give the ole' "everyone does things at their own pace" because I already know that truth and have applied that to give myself a whole lotta grace!*

Where I was headed with the above ramble is that I've been busy. Super, insanely, busy. The busiest I've been in my entire life, probably, in an attempt to create something for myself to be financially stable in some way.

Since injuring my back in 2019, I was receiving treatment and on workers comp for about 3 years, until workers comp settled with me and all the doctors said "you're stuck with your pain for the rest of your life and we can't do anything else - peace out". Then came the ugly reality of being disabled and also being failed by the SSA of getting any kind of support for said disability

That brings us to 2023!

After my fourth denial for disability, I was desperately in need of income and health insurance for all the medications I take.

And to jump forward a bit --> I got a job in April at a call center that would be work from home after training and I also started a side business of selling anime merch. That was a tough start, doing both at the same time. I was also diagnosed with ADHD and am currently medicated, and actually started to feel like somewhat of person.

So, why am I putting all this on my tumblr blog?

Well, for one, because I want to have some record of 2023 because I won't be doing any "Fics of 2023" post due to the fact that I barely wrote anything!

But also, to remove last years failures and continue to move forward!

My writing was stalled out by how overwhelmed I was. I wanted to write. I have notebooks filled with half finished fics, oc stuff, etc that I jotted down when I could.

To summarize, here is how my day goes:

11 AM/Noon: Struggle to get out of bed and get the day started

Noon to 3PM: this is my 3 hrs of daytime before work. Where I either went out and ran errands/dropped off packages or stayed in and did cleaning, work on the side hustle, etc)

3PM: Get ready for work and get all my programs up and runnning

3:30 to Midnight: My work schedule with 2 15 minute breaks and a 30 minute lunch.

Midnight to usually 1 or 2 AM: Wind down and relax as best possible.

That is my typical "work day" and that's not including doing things that I enjoy like video games, writing, playing with my dog, etc. Honestly, there really aren't enough hours in a day.

All of this factors into why this blog has been vacant of my writing this year. I have struggled to find a balance to all of it. And I'm still struggling as my side business is expanding and I am the sole person doing this. But I am working on finding a good balance for it all.

That is basically my 2023 in a nutshell. A whirlwind of a new job, a side business, and attempting to not go completely insane from it all.

My biggest highlight of 2023 was attending my first convention and had the pleasure of meeting the lovely Erika Harlacher-Stone! I had such a blast and plan to attend again next year!

Here is to 2024 and all the good things that I am manifesting for myself. Also, some photos of my precious doggo for good luck!