#adiaryofmecoping

[adiaryofmecoping]

Status: in my feels

I’ve been good. I’ve been making plans to see people or doing something every single day and it’s been good. 

Today would’ve been a special day of sorts but it’s now just a regular one. I decided to put our memories into an album - I named it “Shitbox”, not after you. A friend told me about hers (shitbox) - its a box of things that you don’t need but you keep because you don’t know how to deal with them or don’t know what to do with. You put everything in the shitbox and over time when you go through it, if you’re ready to deal with it or get rid of them you do. It’s a nice way to deal with pain.

I hid the album so I don’t have to see it but eventually I’ll put it on a USB or something that will magically disappear?? I was going to let them just stay deleted but I guess I felt like some of those memories were happy ones - I don’t know if you were happy in them but I was. Why should give them up because its done? I don’t know. At least this way I can delete the whole bunch when I’m ready. 

I’m not there...yet.

[adiaryofmecoping]

Status: good

I had a really solid day today. I woke up, had some porridge for breakfast - I think I put a little too much milk in it though so it was a slightly more runny than I would’ve liked but hey it was still pretty good. 

The sun was out and I managed to find a free seat on the bus. For the first time in forever, I had studied before class and didn’t feel clueless hahaha. I found out I had test in my afternoon session but some quick study during the hour break and I passed wooo! 

I did think about her but it didn’t hurt me as much. I felt good today, not heavy, not sad - just solid and good. Thank you so much (I don’t know who I’m thanking - God? The Earth? Myself?) 

Anyhow, I had a good day and I’m super grateful for it. I know that I’m gonna have downs but man was it good to just have a nice day.