#after work ... and groceries. ... and life...
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
For ghostlights: baby Ellie + tired Danny + Duke the baby whisperer?
He has no idea how his parents did it.Ā
Babies are exhausting. Toddlers more so. Any infants in the strange stage in-between? Doubly so.Ā
Ellie is wonderful and sweet and cute and such a terror that Danny genuinely has no idea how his parents managed to raise not one, but two kids. For all their eccentricities and absent-mindedness, he and Jazz turned out pretty well. Ignoring the whole halfa thing because thatās more his fault than theirs even if Jazz says they shouldnāt have created the dangerous environment in the first place.
That environment is exactly why Danny refuses to let Ellie go to his house in Amity Park. His parents say theyāve disabled all the weapons and ecto-sensors since heās had to reveal himself as Phantom, but he knows that things slip their minds and if they canāt guarantee that the house is safe, then Ellie isnāt going in there. Simple as that.Ā
This means that they live somewhere else now. Danny had thought about it, during the hours Ellie was asleep and he was awake, exhausted and worn down to his bones, and took Jazzās advice to accept Vladās offer of buying a house for him. Except he argued Vlad down to an apartment in a city of his choosing where he wouldnāt stand out too much and he would be safe, or as safe as he can be, from anyone trying to hunt down ghosts.Ā
So here they are. Standing in the empty living room of their new apartment in Gotham.Ā
Gotham may not be very safe as a city, but itās good for two ghosts trying to pass as normal.Ā
Danny sighs yet again, and looks at the space heāll need to fill. At least Vlad is footing the bill. Itās the least he can do for creating Ellie. Frostbite was the one who was able to stabilize her, though it was almost too late and resulted in her reforming as a baby, just one and a half years old. Jazz is the one whoās choosing most of the furniture, thankfully, so itās something that Danny doesnāt need to worry about it.
Itās a new start to their lives and it feels so empty. So overwhelming. How did his parents do it? How do any parents do it?
Ellie smacks a small palm against his cheek and babbles lightly.
āI know, Ellie,ā Danny says, giving her a tired smile. āDonāt worry, weāll have this place looking good in no time.ā
He adjusts her in his arms, then heads towards the bedroom. Itās the only room that has any furniture, and all thatās there is a bed, a crib, and a bookcase. There are a few boxes on the floor, labeled ābedroomā and āclothingā and ābooksā. Most of it came from his bedroom in Amity Park, but heās pretty sure he caught Jazz sneaking a few things in before they closed the boxes and loaded them up into the car.Ā
āCan you be good for five minutes?ā he asks Ellie.Ā
She babbles again and smacks his shoulder.
āIām taking that as an agreement. Just let me open these boxes and start unpacking before you start causing trouble, okay?ā
Ellie makes another sound, but it seems agreeable so Danny carefully lays her down in the crib and gets to peeling off the tape on the boxes. The opens the one labeled ābedroomā first, finding blankets and sheets folded and stacked in vacuum sealed bags. One of them is his old childhood blanket, the one he carried around everywhere that was faded with age, barely blue, with white bunnies decorating it.Ā
He was so small when he had this. It makes him oddly emotional to unpack it and pass it on to Ellie, draping it over her so her pudgy little hands can grab at it.Ā
This is no time to cry, though! He forces himself to focus and makes his own bed, shaking out the sheets and fluffing up the pillows. Heāll worry about washing everything later; Vlad made sure to get an apartment with an in-unit washer and dryer, which means he was actually sensible while apartment hunting for Danny.Ā
He doesnāt mean to flop onto the bed once itās made, but he ends up there anyways. Heās barely gotten a full six hours of uninterrupted sleep since Frostbite deemed Ellie healthy enough to leave his care. The drive up to Gotham was long and wore him down to his bones.
He doesnāt mean to fall asleep, but he does, drifting off as he wonders, distantly, when Jazz will be back from getting them dinner.
Ellie wakes him up at dawn with a loud cry. Danny jolts awake, heart pounding in his chest as he panics because Ellie isnāt here, sheās supposed to be in his arms, where is she? And then he sees the crib, where Ellie is staring at him through the bars, and he nearly collapses with relief.Ā
āMorning, El,ā he says, voice rough from sleep, as he picks her up. She just stares up at him, then leans forward and rests her head against his shoulder.
Itās quiet moments like these that make his heart melt. Ellieās had a hard life already; he wants to give her a better one, this time around.Ā
A quick check of the time on his nearly dead phone shows that itās barely past six in the morning, and Jazz texted him a few times. All about furniture, saying that she didnāt want to wake them and that food is in the fridge.Ā
Itās only the mention of food that makes him realize how ravenous heās feeling. Danny makes a beeline for the kitchen, ignoring everything else, and pulls out the boxes of take-out Jazz left stacked in the fridge. He devours it like heās been starving for weeks, then gives Ellie her Ecto-Jello, the only food sheās allowed to eat until Frostbite gives the okay for solid, human food.Ā
Once heās got her burped and cleaned up, Danny looks out of the kitchen and realizes that Jazz was very productive while he was asleep. The living room isnāt empty anymore; a dark green couch is against the wall, a low, rectangular coffee table made of dark wood in front of it. Two armchairs are on both sides of the couch, and a television has been installed, fixed into the wall.Ā
Jazz is asleep on the couch. Her legs hang off an armrest and sheās drooling slightly.Ā
Her phone is charging on the floor, so Danny takes it and snaps a picture of her for later teasing, then sends it to himself and writes a note to her that heās going out with Ellie to explore the neighborhood.
Heās finally feeling more settled, energized from sleep and food.
In the warm dawn light spilling in through the windows, Danny looks down at Ellie and thinks that theyāll be just fine after all.Ā
. . .
Four months ago, Danny had hope. He was optimistic.Ā
Gotham was a fresh start, a new lease of life for Ellie. It is Dannyās attempt to be a single parent, sacrificing college for Ellie, and heās planning to go out and beat the gangs black and blue if they start anymore shootouts in the next year.
He had just gotten Ellie to sleep. She was actually peacefully taking a nap.
And then a drive by shooter raced down the street, gunshots echoing down the road, and Ellie work up crying. She still hasnāt stopped, despite how Danny rocked her, soothing her as best he could.
They had been outside when Ellie fell asleep, her head on his shoulder. He had been catching up with Sam and Tucker when the car drove by, people ducking and crying out to avoid the bullets. Danny instinctively covered Ellie and made them both intangible, saving them from any stray bullets, but they ruined her nap and he needs to make them pay for that.Ā
āShh,ā he soothes, āYouāre okay. Weāre both fine. Itās okay, El, itās okay.āĀ
Her little hands clutch at his back, twisting the fabric of his shirt, and she lets out a heartbreaking wail. He pats her back, hurrying down the street to get back to his apartment building, ignoring the looks people were giving them as they passed by.Ā
āI know it was scary, but youāre alright. Youāre always safe with me, El.ā
Ellieās cries down down a little, but they donāt stop. She whimpers, burying her face against his shoulder as he finally reaches their apartment building.
The doorās locked, which wouldnāt be a problem except Danny canāt get his keys from his pocket. He knows he has them! But his pocket refuses to relinquish them and he has to stop every few seconds to pat Ellieās back, trying in vain to calm her down.Ā
āWeāll be inside in a second,ā he tells her, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice, āas soon as I can get these freaking keys!ā
āHey, you alright?ā
Danny startles, whirling around so fast it makes Ellie go quiet, clinging to him so she doesnāt get flung into the air. Thereās a guy standing before him in a gray hoodie, looking at him with clear concern. It speaks to Dannyās level of constant exhaustion that he hadnāt clocked someone sneaking up behind him.Ā
The guy offers an awkward smile. āSorry, didnāt mean to scare you or anything. Um, do you need me to open to door? I live here too.ā
Danny wonders for a moment if this someone dangerous, someone hoping to hurt Ellie, but she starts to cry again and he steps to the side. āPlease. I canāt get my keys.ā
āIām Duke, by the way. I donāt think Iāve seen you around here before.ā
āDanny,ā he replies, watching as Duke pulls out a large key ring, jangling with the amount of keychains on it, and easily opens the door. āIāve been here a few months, but Iām usually inside. Or walking around in the mornings with this little monster.ā
āThat would explain it,ā Duke says as he holds the door open, letting Danny in first. āIām usually in classes at GCU, but I decided to take a mental health day after my lab, so here I am.ā
Danny walks in and waits for Duke to follow, making sure the door closes properly behind them. āThanks. How is GCU? What do you study? I was thinking of going there myself once she gets a little older and can go to school.ā
āOh, Iām majoring in English and Human Services.ā He goes to say more, but Ellie wails again and Danny winces.
āIām so sorry. That drive by woke her up and itās really rattled her.ā
āHey, no need to apologize. I get it, Gotham is rough to kids.ā
Danny tries rocking her back and forth, but it doesnāt help. He resigns himself to another hour of her crying before she exhausts herself, and makes for the stairs, going up to the fourth floor. Duke holds open the door again, then follows after them. It makes Danny wonder if Duke is planning to do something to them, then decides he can beat Duke in a fight, so itās fine.
Duke doesnāt try to hurt them or steal Ellie away. He opens the door to their floor and stops before they do. āIām in here,ā he says, āIf you ever need me to open more doors.ā
āThanks. Um, actually, I might need help opening mine?ā
Duke just smiles and makes his way back to them, following them farther into the hall until Danny stops in front of his apartment.Ā
āIf I could just get my keys,ā he starts.
āHere, let me hold her for a second so you can get them,ā Duke offers. Danny wants to insist that itās fine, but Ellie cries directly into his ear and Danny, at the end of his rope, passes her over.Ā
Like magic, Ellie settles as soon as sheās in Dukeās arms. She sniffles and hides her face away, clutching to Dukeās hoodie, but she stops crying. They both go still, surprised, and stare down at her.Ā
āSeriously?ā Danny says as he finally pulls out his keys, āAre you trying to say that Iām the problem?ā
Ellie babbles lightly, and Duke turns his head to futilely hide his grin.
He grumbles as he unlocks the door and pushes it open. Ellie is acting as if sheās never been upset before a day in her life, making herself at home in Dukeās arms.Ā
āI canāt believe this. Betrayed by my own blood.ā
Duke laughs as he follows Danny into his apartment, lightly patting Ellieās back. āItās always the smallest, cutest ones that do this.ā
āYeah? Do you work with a lot of kids or something? Used to being betrayed by the little ones?ā
āI donāt work with kids per se,ā Duke says, āBut my foster family is a hot mess and the youngest of them likes to keep us all on our toes.ā
āFamily,ā Danny says in a tired, fond tone.
āFamily,ā Duke agrees.
With his door open and Ellie calm, Dannyās ready to just lay face down on the floor for the rest of the day and not deal with anything else. He moves to take Ellie back, holding his arms out, and Duke tries to pass her over.
The key word being tries.Ā
Ellie tightens her grip and kicks at Danny. She refuses to be taken away from Duke, making him awkwardly try to pry her off his hoodie. Danny really hopes Duke doesnāt notice how she goes slightly intangible to make his hands fall through her arms and legs. It shouldnāt be noticeable, but itās hard to focus on anything but a kid that clings to you, so Danny holds out for Dukeās goodwill and silence.
āAs nice as it is to meet you, you need to go back to your⦠parent?ā Danny nods when Duke looks at him in askance. āYou need to go back to your parent. Okay? Come on, kid, heās waiting for you.ā
Ellie shakes her head, makes a frustrated noise, and then turns and reaches out a grabby hand towards Danny.Ā
She still refuses to be taken from Duke when Danny tries to pick her up again, so he settles with just letting her hold two of his fingers.Ā
āIām so sorry about this,ā he says to Duke, face burning. This is why he hasnāt been going out and being social since he moved in; Ellie is a handful even on the best days, and Danny doesnāt want someone to judge him as unfit to parent her and have her taken away.
Duke shakes his head, stepping closer. āItās all good, man. I donāt mind. Itās not like I had any plans today. Iām already skipping my classes, might as well spend it with you two than sleep all day.ā
āAre you sure? Iād be happy to invite you in, but I know Ellie can be a lot and not everyone wants to spend their day off with a baby.ā
āIām sure. Besides, Iād just be down the hall anyways. Itās no skin off my back, man.ā
āWell,ā Danny says, stepping to the side to give Duke full access to his open doorway, āCome on in, then.ā
Ellie keeps them connected, one hand in Dukeās hoodie and the other holding Dannyās fingers, and though her cheeks are still red from how hard she had been crying, sheās calm now with her eyes shining with mischief.Ā
As the door closes behind them, Danny realizes that this is the first time someone heās not related to has been inside his apartment. Not even Vlad has come in, always choosing to invite Danny and Ellie out for lunch instead.Ā
It should make him nervous, but Duke is calm and easy going and kind.Ā
Heās making silly faces at Ellie to make her laugh, completely at ease with her in his arms, as if heās done this a thousand times before.Ā
Gotham is a second chance at life for Ellie. Itās a sacrifice for Danny, to be alone and without friends or family around. Heād been ready to give up everything for Ellie, to focus solely on raising her, but with Duke filling his apartment with laughter, he thinks that he can make a life here too.
All he needs to do is take that first step, reach his hand out, ask Duke to stick around.
He can do this.
#ghostlights#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#dpxdc#dc x dp fic#prompt fill#my writing#i really love writing about characters struggling to be parents v suddenly and thru unconventional means#so here's danny a year out of high school living on his own for the first time w baby ellie#and duke who needed some space and independence while he's in college. bruce pays for the apartment while duke works part time for grocerie#and ellie who had been fully developed but unstable is now a halfa baby who remembers stuff but is also. yknow. a baby.#she absolutely latched onto duke to force danny to have a life outside of her. but also she can sense that hes kind and calm#which danny needs bc he is Stressed (tm)#this leads to duke bringing over food for them and looking after ellie while danny goes shopping or naps#both of them ignoring how duke has to leave suddenly for Hero Related Reasons and how danny and ellie have Powers#it's a v delicate balance they keep for the sake of keeping ellie safe#yeah they're gonna co-parent and realize they're basically dating after MONTHS of pining#the bats have bets on who gives bruce a grandkid first and literally no one bet on duke but here he is lol :)#thanks for the prompt!!
524 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
hey šš if anyones able to throw a few bucks at me so i can get lunch at work the next few days itd be very much appreciated, I typically spend around $6-$10 a day thanks to my employee discount but im broker than broke rn and just embarrassed myself with a declined card š literally anything helps i just wanna be able to eat
vnm: tobias_leviathan
pp: paypal.me/bewearrr
#the guy working the self checkout made me feel like shit for it too#its cool working at a bougie grocery store until they find out youre poor and then its Over i guess#whatever im not gonna let it ruin my day#this is so stupid im scared that my finances will never improve again im just gonna be in the negatives forever :(#every paycheck feels like filling a bucket with a hole in it#i feel like such a failure#it wasnt even my fault it was my stupid last job that refused to give me hours and wouldn't elaborate#if i had any energy left I'd consider suing them because why the fuck are you risking homelessness for me after i beg you to give me hours#and the only job that would hire me is across the city and its a whole ordeal to get to#and im never home anymore im at my bfs place 70% of the week#which isnt a problem in of itself but i wish i had the freedom of transportation to be able to go home if i want :(#my life would improve if i had a car but i cannot afford a car and wont be able to afford a car until NEXT YEAR#sorry for venting in the tags im just SO FRUSTRATED. Im#over everything#anyways plz help me eat food the next few days#id be able to deal if if were not for the fact that testosterone#makes me a ravenous beast
27 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
started planning out an actual real budget to see what sort of housing I could afford if I lived alone and it is. not great !
#i think i might still try to do it though#im purposefully not burning any bridges with my family so i can have a place to move back into if it doesnt work#but i make literally JUSTTT enough to afford it#with my retirement and life insurance i can afford to put away an extra $300 on top and have like $150 (MAYBE) left for the month#which. is less towards savings than i really want#because im trying to save for grad school a new car and a down payment#i did budget for $400 a month on groceries which doesnt include what i would get for food assistance or from food banks#which is a little bit more and helps me breathe a little#but this all hinges on my ability to find rental housing with all utilities included for 1k or under#there ARE some near me that have all or most included for less than that but obv until im actively looking to move out im not banking on any#sorry i know people dont like hearing money talk but i need to talk momey very frankly for 3-5 hours#after which i will promptly and unexpectedly burst into tears and thats how you know the conversation is over#im also an idiot dumbass and didnt really pay attention to how much i was spending on gas when i drove from the bigger city near me#(aka the place i will probably end up living)#i dont want to lower my savings though :( i like to save :( number go up#and also the idea that it could take me longer than 10 years to save up for a down payment fills me with teeth grinding rage#i want to live alone so badly i want to make it work#i have to remind myself that im rounding expenses up and paychecks down on purpose#but i also. dont know what the next step is?? i have it all saved already lmfao#i cant move out until august at the absolute earliest but like. because i live at home do i just. sit and wait? until i find a good place?#things happening in rapid succession scare me and it seems like the turn around for apartment touring -> moving in is very fast#i was 16 when i last moved idk how to do that!#but like. do they just. move the stuff in#yes this is exactly how moving works i know#i think really what i need to do is tell my parents in august that im going to move out#because if they're ready to move furniture then maybe the brain can take over and make decisions and sign contracts quickly#before the loser has time to even start getting freaky about things#any ghosts looking to be a second source of income
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I JUST GOT A CALL BACK FROM THE JOB I APPLIED TO AAAAH IāM SO EXCITED !!!! THEYāRE GONNA PUT ME IN TOMORROW ALREADY IāM SO. HAPPY. OMG.
#they said theyād call people in to work after three weeks but I got this call FIVE DAYS after the interview !!!!!!#Iām so happy they literally said I left a good impression on them !!!!!!! I thought I did bad but they liked me !!!!!!#younger me would be flabbergasted to know how excited I am about getting a job in a grocery store but Iām over the moon#Literally me ideal workplace at the moment#SO happy I donāt have to go back to the summer job I had last summer bro omg.#gonna be awkward to call them back though cause Iām already on schedule to work for them this summer but this other job seems 10x better#AND the new job is a 10 minute bike ride away from home !!!!!#The old job was like. a 40 minute commute. over an hour total.#I had no life when I worked there Iām so serious Iām SO grateful I got this other job#now I just need to lock in and be on my best behaviour tomorrow since itās just practice#but I probably got this in the bag trust
9 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I want to share something, long post:)
This week i am intensely feeling that time is, indeed, relative.
So many things happened at once and I am very happy in the moment, f* anxiety, I decided to fully enjoy the experience (thanks, therapyāŗļø).
So, last February things at my previous job became unbearable and i quit juuust before the burnout started to affect me for real.
No, that's not right, I've got health problems from this, it WAS affecting me badly (sincerely, fuck people, who do this to other people, I hope they'll burn in hell for causing me that much stress).
The following months were filled with existential and financial dread, weak attempts at getting my life back on track and even figuring out what I am and what I want and can do (do not recommend, it feels awful but I've got some of my documents in order; got my oven repaired (it's been broken for years); got the second piercing in my ear; fallen hard in a new fandom and got an old-new friend)).
My relatives were understanding for about 2months, then there were dreadful probing questions - are you looking for a job? will you work soon? (and I spent last 15years working, busting my ass - I have resources to be unemployed for about a year). Thanks for feeding my anxiety, I guess.
Unfortunately, I found out that I am not ready to work as an artist on commission, it's too taxing on my ability to create, that path is closed for me now(((
Three month later at a pretty low point I secured a job in a completely different field than my previous career path, though it did have qualities, I thought I needed the most - easy, boring, close to home.
After a month it was unbearable, so, last Tuesday at a lunch break I casually went to a job searching app; sent my resume to a couple of companies in a field related to my previous professional experience, got a couple of interview invites, called them back right away; AND
one of the companies turned out to be a start-up that some of my colleagues from previous-previous job founded)
By last Thursday I went to the coziest interview I've ever had in my life; this Monday I quit a boring job; by this Wednesday I started working at the start-up; it's been 3 days and I have SO MANY adventures related to the new place, so many positive feelings about it, I still kinda cannot believe that this is happening.
And I really feel like a lifetime has passed since this Monday. So, yeah. Time is relative.
Wish me luck.
#irl#i want to remember this good moment#to look at when i am at a low point#got off work today spent an hour walking in a forest run a few errands and I AM NOT TIRED#is this how normal people feel?#when going for groceries after workday is not a struggle#i want it#i want a life like that
21 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
just a little heads up and sneak peak⦠i am opening an etsy shop very soon to help fundraise for top surgeryā¦. i will be selling bracelets and necklaces at first, then maybe iāll also do keychains and phone charms and lanyards and such⦠please check it out when itās open :)




#probably in about a week or so! my gfās mom got us musical tickets for this weekend so i was waiting until after that. and trying to do#a bit later in january bc i know a lot of people donāt have much money in jan to spend on fun stuff#tentatively the bracelets are gonna be $3 and necklaces $13#i work full time already and bc car problems and dog problems and life just being expensive as hell i havenāt been able to save very much#so i wanted to do something that my autistic self can handle. bc otherwise iād be trying to get a weekend grocery store job but iād have to#blow up and die if i did that.
11 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
xanaofficial: keep it confidential. feb 17th 12pm pst / 3pm est. see you there, lover. š® (February 14, 2025)
#HELLOOOO the vibes are already So immaculate i'm obsessed#my life is gonna change after this drops <33#and the way it's a holiday so i don't have to worry about watching this at work. or in another grocery shop again sdjfs#also me just trying to upload the tiktok vid but it ends up super pixelated on tumblr sjfss dunno how to fix that <3#xana#xanaofficial#wlw#queer#xanaofficial tiktoks#february 2025#tswguiw#tswguiw deluxe#confidential
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Some days I'm able to go to cardiac rehab or go grocery shopping without too much trouble and I'm like "Oh my god I've been faking disability this whole time look at me I function fine I'm just a lazy asshole"
And then the next day I'm so exhausted and in so much pain I'm like. Oh. Right. Yeah no this isn't fake. Ow.
#spent so much of my life hearing everyone say there was nothing wrong with me and i just had to try harder#'you'll get used to it'#'you're too young to be tired/in pain'#'just try harder'#'you clearly just don't want to work/help/etc-#and i have internalized a lot of that#but then i have a serious pain/fatigue day and realize that that's all ableist bullshit#healthy people aren't crippled after going grocery shopping#mod post#disability#chronic pain
9 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
woke up at 6:30a to beat the crowds at target (did not really work lol) and proceeded to be on errand duty for the next several hours. not loving it friends but tbh at least i wasn't doing it in heavy snow and the crowds were not as bad as they could have been, so i think my decision to switch my last chunk of shopping from saturday to monday was all in all a good one.
#liveblogging life#do any of you care? nope.#but my god i got more done before 10a today than i have in like. six months lol.#also i spent so much money :(((((((#between my own groceries baking supplies the last of my christmas shopping and more food for tomorrow.... yikes lol#the good news is i got paid early. the bad news is i wont get paid again until after the first so i'll be dipping into savings for rent#whoops! that's the holidays for you#the GOOD news is i didnt do payment plans for anything this year so at least i dont have to worry about that??????#the last couple of years i always had something on a pay in 4 so i ended still paying out past the holidays#which like was fine when i didnt want heavy upfront costs but did get annoying tbhm#kind of nice to just be. done paying for shit.#getting up early of my own volition feels like torturing myself unnecessarily tbh#also shhhhh i was technically working for part of this morning but half my office is out on pto so.#like my phone was on and my email was open on there just in case anything came through. it was fine.
5 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
hello hey howdy hi. i'm sorting through my projects from the past few years and establishing where i'm at with them and what next steps for them are. i'm scheduling hours to write more consistently (creating "shifts" for me to clock in/out for, essentially) because i know how my brain works and i know approaching it as an actual job of sorts with stricter hours is what i need, at least right now, to kickstart my brain into being productive again. this will likely change once i'm back in the groove of things and finding balance again, but this is what my head needs for now, so it's what i'm gonna do.
once i've sorted through everything, reorganized it and have a game plan crafted, i will recreate my writeblr intro post and start making new wip posts for the projects that i decide to work on finishing first. so that'll be cool! i miss being more active in my writing and posting about it like i was in 2023. last year slowed me down and the start of 2025 has been kicking my ass, but hey, i turn 25 on the 15th and i've been saying i want to be published before i turn 26, so i'm gonna work on that and make some god damn progress on shit.
#aritalks#amazing how i went from sobbing in a grocery store parking lot at 8:30 this morning#to feeling INCREDIBLY motivated to progress my life forward and make positive change#i was still unsure how i was gonna fully cover my phone bill but two people sent me money on ko-fi and i cried about it#bc thats so kind and also its enough to cover it!! so i should be good!#thank u to those two people omg. i havent really shared my kofi link yet#bc i'm trying to set up like. an actual whole thing yk? with writing and like#idk i feel like i've got to 'earn' sharing my kofi by being like look im making stuff!!! pls help support me if u can and want to!!#which is maybe me being a bit too hard on myself but it's just how i feel about it#but i shared the link earlier and TWO PEOPLE have sent me money on it and i'm actually in tears about it#but anyways. i am rambling in the tags my b.#but i've got a plan in place! and i genuinely think if i manage to focus#which will become easier after i see my new psych on april 2nd and get medicated again bc god damn#but if i manage to focus and make consistent progress i could very easily have a full first draft of one of my wips by like may#like i have the capability as long as i manage to make this work yk?#ok im done now#gonna work on organizing wips for the next hour or two and then go to bed <3
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
in a nut shell: this oc is the ugly duckling who turned to a swan --- but then the swan gets intoxicated with how pretty ppl find her lol.
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
bonkers that i still gotta work rn. like ahhhh everything's on fire, my mom starts chemo this week, i didn't make a resolution for this year bc all i can think to want is to survive it lol. also i gotta make a slideshow
#i maintain that the worst weeks of my life were when pop had his heart attack and i was 30hrs a week at the grocery store#it just makes everything feel insanely pointless. not even depression 'nothing matters' but like. none of this fucking matters#we made all this shit up!#levi.txt#vent tw#and i dont even think staying home all day would make me feel better. it honestly might make me feel worse bc moms home too#but like. i dont fucking know man. maybe i wanna go to the bookstore or watch a movie tomorrow instead of work#or just get really fucking stoned until i can think abt smth else#i wish i could just skip for a day and go to a coffee shop w my friends like we did in university or smth. maybe id feel better after#for a lot of reasons thats not an option tho#and before you suggest it my parents dont believe in mental health days. thats not gonna fly w them#mom had to be firmly told by 2 doctors that she could not go back to work while doing chemo bc that was Fully her plan#we arent a family who do sick days or skip work/school
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Ooooookay so not sure im gonna keep going to walmart to get my groceries unless absolutely necessary cuz the one closest to my house is awful
Its fucking massive. The app tells you the wrong aisles for everything. And there were way too many fucking people. Not a fan.
#also experienced some culture shock going into a gas station and the cashiers being behind bullet proof glass#theres also like. armed guards at the smaller grocery stores#walmart did not have guards#by the time i got to the gas station from walmart my brain was so fried i couldnt register that there was a keypad on the pump#i normally pay inside anyway but i didnt really feel like talking to anyone after walmart#but then i put my card in and it was like āenter your pin or hit enter to continueā#and for the life of me i could not find the damn keypad#so i went inside anyway#and then once i started putting gas in my car THEN i saw the keypad#which i probably looked directly at before but ugh#I FORGOT TO GET GRANOLA BARS AGAIN#AHHHHH#im so tired#im so glad my job requires very little mental energy#cuz i dont know that i have the bandwidth for anything else this week#and its only monday#but i can handle work#work is easy#i mean the project im working on rn is annoying but its not HARD#the boxes are just messy as fuck and it takes awhile to sort through#like fucking hell why you gotta just shove the papers in and get them all bent out of shape#this is a mess#also me and my mom apparently both wanted toaster waffles today cuz we both bought them on our respective shopping trips#so we're stocked up for awhile lol#same kind same size box and everything lol
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Me feeling so cool and normal about going up a pant size
#itās mostly how this reflects how much my life has changed in like a year and a half#I no longer live in an area that Iām excited to walk around in#I canāt walk to work anymore#Iām more tired after work and more likely to get takeout#I should start walking to my grocery store again but the grocery store itself is not that good#Iām trying but it all got harder#and Iāve become more and more sedentary since last spring#and Iām bummed about it
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I wish my manager realized that once Iām in the back mopping the floor near the end of my shift, I donāt want conversation anymore. I just want to mop with my musicš«
#after 7 hours of socializing I just want to be in silence please#my social battery is drained by then and itās running on power saver mode lol#personal#work woes#a day in the life is a grocery store employee
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
going to jump off a bridge overā¦ā¦food
#I already feel like shit about the fact that I eat like garbage#but Iāve been meaning to make this damned āhealthyā salad for like 3 weeks and cannot for the life of me keep any of the ingredients viable#long enough to make the fucking thing#so today I had to run to the grocery to get tea and grabbed some ingredients#after work mind you#after I left I went āoh I forgot milkā#which I NEEDED#so I stopped aFUCKINGGAIN#at dollar store to get some#then after I left there I realized I forgot tortilla chips#went āfuck it Iāll make them at homeā#get home#leap through the shower and get straight to work#I even remembered to get the chicken out of the freezer yesterday night#well guess what itās still fucking frozen#so. forget that I guess#now the lettuce and corn and all the other ingredients are gonna fucking rot#my kitchenās a fucking wreck#I have no time and no energy to clean any part of this damned apartment to do anything#Iām going to stop now before I go into the whole other thing but I am. done
8 notes
Ā·
View notes