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mongooseblues · 3 years ago

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Stuffy As In Congested, Not As In Boring

Continuing a joke from a year old drabble. Honestly sometimes I just need to watch Cal be sneezy and a professor simultaneously.

- — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - — - —

He’s taken measures to prepare, one of which is sixteen ounces of steaming tea in a reusable cup, another is a ream of tissues in his blazer pocket. It’s visible on him still, the last vestiges of his cold, but only if one were to really look through the perky professionalism, the genuine joy he takes in lecturing. Optimism and excitement do a pretty good job of obscuring the physical details.

But they're there if you look. The skin around his nose bears still the traces of frustration from when he couldn’t help but to swipe or to scratch—a bitter rouge that has yet to fully forgive him his mistreatment. He's technically well rested, but his dark circles are darker than usual, the creases below his eyes more pronounced. Leftover sniffles are easily provoked, so he’s drinking this particular cup of tea as slowly as possible.

He starts the lecture with his usual, “Gooooooood… morning!” wherein the ‘Good,’ is drawn out as long as students are still talking, and the ‘morning’ is an inflection change to cheekiness.

“I hope you all had a nice little break Monday. Apologies if my voice sounds kinda funny—I’m still getting over this cold. That was the main reason I canceled class actually. I didn’t feel too bad, but I sounded ridiculous. My partner was making fun of me for being unable to say…” He clicks a button on a very small remote controlling the projector on the ceiling, and the opening slide of his lecture appears against the massive white wall behind him:

Moral Non-Naturalism, it says.

“Wayyy too many nasal consonants in this particular lecture topic. Didn’t feel like making you all listen to seventy-five minutes of me talking about ‘boral dod-daturalism.’”

Cal pauses while students laugh, and starts again with a smile that’s spread further. “I’m still a liiittle bit congested but I’m gonna do my best to enunciate through it. Moral non-naturalism. Ooh that was pretty good! Way better than yesterday, okay here we go.”

A few minutes into the lecture before he starts to feel like he wants to sneeze, distinguishing between naturalism and reductionism with every intention of keeping it together as long as he can, but the gymnastics of his eyebrows are theatrical enough to be seen from any seat, inconveniently expressive and never affording him anything less than complete transparency. A sudden hike, an inward furrow—he knows he couldn’t hide it even if he wanted to, so Cal will have to be transparent as well.

A thought concludes but doesn’t transition. Instead it trails off as he brings a fist under his nose, and winces against a ticklish breath, but the feeling fades after a moment and he sighs a grateful exhale. “Sorry, thought I was about to sneeze for a second there. That wouldn’t have been good with this thing,” he says, indicating the sound-sensitive lav mic clipped to his shirt collar. “Blow out the speakers, snf! Deafen you guys.”

Cal generally tries not to laugh at his own jokes, but sometimes when they go over well he can’t resist joining in with a quick chuckle. He is particularly fond of this Monday/Wednesday class this semester. There’s been an especially joke-receptive energy here since day one, and it gives him the freedom to get sillier with them.

Only about a paragraph and a half further before the feeling is plaguing him again—a distracting, tickly electricity he knows is rearranging his features into a ridiculous expression somewhere between frustration and dismay.

“What Moore is saying is that any definition of morality put in terms of some natural property is a failure, because naht…”

A question, silently posed by a single twitch of nostrils, meets his executive decision that no he’s good it’s under control keep going, but his even cadence quickly becomes anything but—his voice wavering a little as he speaks, words inflating and floating away from him as he loses his grip on a sentence.

“Because natural properties—rightness, goodness, pleasurableness, et cetera—are halways liable to an oh-hoh—an open question and hokay actually I amabouttosneeze-excuseme—!”

He utters this last part in a speedy, rising panic and hurries to pull the mic from his collar and leave it dangling by the cord—a gasping breath is the last thing it relays before there’s a soft thud of static as it settles farther down his shirt, and Cal throws an arm over his face and lurches into his elbow with such vigor that he stumbles a few steps sideways with the entropy of it.

“DJIISSHHH’hu! Hh-! HehhdJESSHHhue!”

Harsh and percussive and probably still audible even without the assistance of the sound system, and there’s a chorus of bless yous after them both. It’s not the first time he’s been blessed by a class of three hundred and it won’t be the last, but it never fails to find him extremely touched by this synchronized demonstration of their attention and kindness.

“Hoo, thank you thank you,” he says when he picks up the dangling mic, about to clip it back into place when his breath falters (“uh-hih-?”) and his grip on his shirt collar does too, in favor of signaling his class with a shake of his head and the flash of a raised finger and then holding himself in place while he collapses into the other arm to muffle another exclamation.

“Huh-JEHHSHHhoo!”

More chorused blessings afterwards as he emerges from his sleeve with only a hint of sheepishness and a rake of fingers through his hair to untousle the locks he’s tousled loose.

“Thank you!” he says again, committing to clipping the mic back on this time. “I think I’m dwindling down to the final sneezes of this cuh— of this cold, and I’m… I’m trying not to do that agaih-hin, um…” A couple of blinks as he wills himself not to, but it’s on the horizon and blinding him into a forced squint, and that fist-pressed-under-the-nose thing rarely actually works for longer than a few seconds, after which Cal can only shake his head again with a guilty smile and append his sentence; “and failing, sorryonemoretime—”

He wastes too much time with this warning to have a chance to take the mic back off again, so all he can do is put his hand over it, which does quiet him somewhat, in conjunction with burying his nose into the now somewhat dampened fabric of his blazer sleeve—to conspire anew with secret droplets hidden within the weaves of houndstooth—though a desperate vocalization still finds its way through the speakers.

“HAH-DZZIISSSHhyue!”

It seems to get funnier every time, to both Cal and his class, but he does feel his cheeks warm when he hears himself echo through the lecture hall. “Wow excuse me, I am so sorry,” he laughs. “Thank you for your blessings, and your patience. I’m definitely—snff!—I’m almost definitely done now.” A tissue is fished from his pocket and politely employed in a casual swipe beneath his nostrils, resisting how impolitely he’d love to perform this action and issuing a couple of unavoidable, staticky sniffles.

“Now, snffh! back to non-naturalism… oh, uh-oh, that sounds not so great again, hang on,” he says, sniffling sharply and clearing his throat, recalibrating to try again in earnest. “Moral non-nat-goddamnit.”

They laugh, he laughs.

“Moore’s theory is sometimes also referred to as intuitionism… but that’s not much better is it?” he asks, with a chuckle that crackles pointedly toward a cough.

He probably could have used another day to recover, but this won’t set him back any. Cal isn’t the medical kind of doctor, but he has a personal theory that returning to his life, the way it usually is, lends itself to speedier recovery. Maybe it’s because he’s an extrovert, or, admittedly, a little bit addicted to his work. Maybe it’s because he’s fortunate enough to do something he loves for a living. All he knows is that the energy of being here, with his class and their kind patience and their good-natured laughter, has curative properties of its own.

“Okay I think what I might do is give you all a five minute break, snffh! while I go blow my nose a bunch of times or something to try to remedy this. If that doesn’t work, unfortunately you’re just gonna have to listen to a very stuffy lecture—as in congested, I mean! Stuffy as in congested, not as in boring.”

#mongoose writes sometimes #Cal #Cal As Professor #which is a tag I have recently made #I spend more time exploring Cal as person than as professor but #this IS the purpose for which I originally created him ;)#also I have two asks in my inbox I’m not ignoring! I’ll answer asap :)

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arseneiic · 4 years ago

Text

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me. Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

1a. I will not interact with non-Mutuals, that includes asks, unless it’s done anonymously and it doesn’t have a url attached. Anyone who breaks this rule will get about a few pardons but after that will be blocked.

2. My time is limited here in what I can do. This means that I am very selective in what I reply to. Doesn’t necessary mean that I am ignoring anyone. Some days I reply to everything and everyone, others I am so burnt out from irl things or work that I just lurk and do the bare minimum. My mental health and well-being comes before anything else.

2a. Replies vary by length and time. I normally work eight to ten hours a day and experience a lot of exhaustion. Unless I don’t see a thread or an ask going anywhere and publicly make a post saying it’s been dropped, consider everything as pending / will do ASAP. Memes are okay to send in late unless it clearly states, not accepting. My timezone is Eastern Standard Time or EST. United States is where I am located at. I am usually online from 10 PM EST to 3 AM EST unless it’s a day off from work, which the online time will vary from 12 PM EST to 3 AM EST.

2b. Role-playing is a hobby, not a job. Do not pester me for replies or asks to be answered. I am not obligated to owe anyone anything on this website. I am human and can’t cater to everyone’s needs. Being persistent here is not going to make me answer yours faster than other people.

2c. Don’t follow, unfollow, and then refollow my blog. It’s not going to make me want to follow you back, ever. It’s annoying and no one is being crafty by doing that. If you continue to do this and it isn’t a tumblr glitch, I will be inclined to block and possibly report for spam.

3. If you do need to break mutuals with me, HARD BLOCK my blog. Don’t just UNFOLLOW or SOFT BLOCK because chances are that I could mistakenly follow you again. And that’s something we both don’t want since it would be quite awkward.

3a. I have the right to unfollow whoever I want to and so do you. Please don’t go on a hunt and try to guilt trip me into following you back again. Just don’t. I can and will tell you the reason why I unfollowed you but other than that, just let me leave in peace.

3b. Personal blogs and non RP blogs will be blocked on site. Please, if you have a side blog let me know through asks so I don’t accidentally block you. IMs are not a good way to let me know since they are closed for non-mutuals.

4. Duplicates are welcomed to follow me. The more the merrier. I do not suffer from same muse anxiety and encourage any of the same muse to follow me. Only request is that you don’t steal my headcanons, edits or icons. Other than that, we should all be able to have a good time. I’m always up for twin verses or alternate universes shenanigans.

4a. Original Characters are allowed to follow me. However, they need to be a little flesh out before I make a decision to follow them back or not. Just a small backstory or biography is all that I need. Headcanons also work if there isn’t an about page but must have about one page worth for me to consider following.

4b. Crossover Characters from other shows are allowed to follow me but I must know about said muse or else I’ll have a hard time whether to follow or not. Few fandoms I won’t interact with because I have no interest in these series are: Avatar the Last Airbender, Avatar the Legend of Korra. ( more to be added ).

5. I am a multi-ship blog. Arsene himself is ageless but his physical form is around 25 when he became a shadow / persona / demon and as such, I will only be shipping him romantically with muses around the 20s to 30s range. Some threads may get a little spicy but nothing that requires a ‘do not read at work’ type of posts. I will tag those post that are suggestive with a ‘spicy: tw & spicy for ts’ and ‘Looks like someone needs proper punishment’ for blacklisting purposes.

5a. I am open to all kinds of ships, not just romantic ones. I also enjoy platonic, rivalry, and familiar bonds. All ships are open to discussions through my IM(s) or otherwise known as Instant Messenger. Chemistry is key. As long as we interact a little, there’s always the chance that both muses can be in a relationship.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just in real life ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

6a. Things I’ll tag for you: BLOOD, GORE, DEATH, BODY HORROR, EYE HORROR, INSECTS, MAGGOTS, BRUISES, SCARS, GUNS, KNIVES, CLOWNS. If there are anything I missed that you want tagged, please let me know through IM(s).

7. I am over the age of eighteen. However, I refuse to write smut as I am not comfortable with that subject to begin with. Please never force me to write this with you and if you keep sending things to me in this type of nature, I will report you, no questions asked.

7a. If I see any form of hate and I find out it was you that sent it, I will immediately BLOCK you. No questions asked. Life is too short to send unwanted hate, anon or not. All anon hate and hate towards me and my characters ( s ) in general will be reported and then blocked, no questions asked.

8. My pen name on here is SERE. Obviously, that is not my real name but it’s what I go by. It’s short for ‘Serena’, the English name that DIC gave Usagi Tsukino in the Americanized version of Sailor Moon. It’s pronounced; SIR-REE.

9. I am not a meme source. If you need to reblog a meme from my blog and don’t plan to send me anything, reblog from the source. I hardly get asks as it is, and for you to just use me as a meme source puts a bad taste in my mouth and I feel like I’m being used, which isn’t a good feeling. If you wonder if you should send in a meme to me, please do. I love getting asks. I do hoard them from time to time like a dragon hoards treasure but I do get to them eventually. The more memes / asks, the merrier.

9a. Feel free to turn inbox replies into threads. Just remember to make separate post when replying. Do not reblog threads not meant for you and don’t reblog my headcanons. It’s okay to reblog my asks though if you want them to be keepsakes on your own blog. Also, it’s alright to reblog musings and images from me.

10. I rather not be bothered by callout posts and any potential drama that might accumulate. I am just here to have fun and I hope everyone else can too. Life is too short to spend on certain things that don’t matter in the long run. If I see multiple call out posts from you in a single day or that’s all you post, I will quietly unfollow you.

11. Out of character posts will be on here from time to time. Mostly talking about life in general or me venting once in a great while. If this annoys you, please remember that this is my blog, not yours. You are welcomed to unfollow / block at any time.

11a. The best way to interact with me is to send memes / asks / inbox things. I am always up for unprompted things in my inbox. Also, my instant messenger is always open if someone needs to contact me out of character or to plot something. Don’t hesitate to talk to me. I will try my best to respond.

11b. Not interacting after a month or two with me and my blog will make me silently unfollow you or result in a soft block. Or if you don’t interact with me at all, even out of character. Also, if you are gone for more than 6 months, I consider your blog inactive and will probably assume that you aren’t going to return.

12. I’m really laid-back in nature so don’t feel pressure to reply to anything I send to you. I understand that life happens and that sometimes you just need to unwind from the stress of daily life.

13. For pronouns; either SHE/HER or THEY/THEM is okay with me. My orientation is DEMIROMANTIC ASEXUAL. I love anime, manga, video games, music, drawing, and writing. If you read all of this, then thank you! I won’t ask for passcodes but please still try to remember these at some point. That’s all I ask. <3.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well ).

#long post: tw #rules;;#laws;;#mobile rules;;#mobile laws;;

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trickstruth-a · 5 years ago

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Rules

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me. Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

3b. Personal blogs and non RP blogs will be blocked on sight. Please, if you have a side blog let me know through asks so I don’t accidentally block you. IMs are not a good way to let me know since they are closed for non-mutuals.

5. I am a multi-ship blog. All ships are separate in their own standings. Goro is 17 in the ORIGINAL game and ROYAL remake. I will only ship him romantically with muses that are in the ages between 15 years to 17 years of age ( for the ORIGINAL and ROYAL remake only ).

5b. Is there any ship that you do NOT want forced on you?: I personally don’t ship AkeShu / ShuAke ( the Protagonist x Goro Akechi ). Please don’t force this ship on me. I’ll only except a slow burn for both characters and only that when both the other mun and myself agree to do this.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just irl ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

6a. This blog will contain sensitive themes from time to time. However, I will tag common things like those mentioned below. If you need anything tagged, please let me know through instant messaging / IMs. Things I’ll tag for you are but not limited to: BLOOD, GORE, DEATH, BODY HORROR, EYE HORROR, INSECTS, MAGGOTS, BRUISES, SCARS, GUNS, KNIVES, CLOWNS.

7. I am over the age of eighteen. However, I refuse to write smut as I am not comfortable with that subject to begin with and Goro is a minor. Please never force me to write this with you and if you keep sending things to me in this type of nature, I will report you, no questions asked.

8. My pen name on here is SERE. Obliviously, that is not my real name but it’s what I go by. It’s short for ‘Serena’, the English name that DIC gave Usagi Tsukino in the Americanized version of Sailor Moon. It’s pronounced; SIR-REE.

10. I usually am not considered spoiler free. However, I do tag recent released games, which is Persona 5 Scramble. All other games in the Persona 5 series ( original game, dancing in starlight, pq2, and royal ) will NOT be tagged. Follow at your own risk to avoid spoilers.

10a. Knowledge in the Persona series is about ABOVE AVERAGE, please don’t keep pointing out mistakes. I know and will correct them due time.

10b. Please tag the popular ship AkeShu / ShuAke ( Goro Akechi x Persona 5 Protagonist ) / ( Persona 5 Protagonist x Goro Akechi ). I am not a fan of this ship at all and would request it to tagged at all times. Tags can be as simple as ‘akeshu’ and ‘shuake’.

11. I rather not be bothered by callout posts and any potential drama that might accumulate. I am just here to have fun and I hope everyone else can too. Life is too short to spend on certain things that don’t matter in the long run. If I see multiple call out posts from you in a single day or that’s all you post, I will quietly unfollow you.

12. Out of character posts will be on here from time to time. Mostly talking about life in general or me venting once in a great while. If this annoys you, please remember that this is my blog, not yours. You are welcomed to unfollow / block at any time.

12a. The best way to interact with me is to send memes / asks / inbox things. I am always up for unprompted things in my inbox. Also, my instant messenger is always open if someone needs to contact me out of character or to plot something. Don’t hesitate to talk to me. I will try my best to respond.

12b. Not interacting after a month or two with me and my blog will make me silently unfollow you or result in a soft block. Or if you don’t interact with me at all, even out of character. Also, if you are gone for more than 6 months, I consider your blog inactive and will probably assume that you aren’t going to return.

13. I’m really laid-back in nature so don’t feel pressured to reply to anything I send to you. I understand that life happens and that sometimes you just need to unwind from the stress of daily life.

14. For pronouns; either SHE/HER or THEY/THEM is okay with me. My orientation is DEMIROMANTIC ASEXUAL. I love anime, manga, video games, music, drawing, and writing. If you read all of this, then thank you! I won’t ask for passcodes but please still try to remember these at some point. That’s all I ask. <3.

**DISCLAIMERS.

This revived blog has been established since May 23rd, 2020. Independent and not affiliated with any role play group. Written by SERE.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well ).

#long post: tw #[ Hi. Welcome to Chili's. OOC ]#rules;;#laws;;#rules / laws;;

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quantum-shatter-a-blog · 7 years ago

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HOW I RUN MY BLOG:

SPEED: idk it honestly depends on what i’m up to. generally i try to answer threads within four days, but it can get up to two weeks if i’m terribly busy, depending on what i’m up to around that time. like, i’ll be slower in exam season, if i’m on a trip, etc. i’ll usually make a post about it, if i’m gonna be unreasonably slow, tho.

REPLIES: i try my best to match length, but i write what comes to me, so sometimes my posts can be a bit longer or shorter than yours. depends on the subject matter, too, and how well we’ve plotted- obviously crack replies are gonna be shorter than thought-out world-building/slice of life/action/whatever. i tend to write multi-para, the shortest being 2 paragraphs (with or w/o dialogue), but i’ll do whatever you do. might drop our thread tho if i’m getting no effort back from you, or if i can’t see it going anywhere (in which case i’d let you know, so that we can plot somethin’ else).

STARTERS: if you have an idea for a starter, message me and we can decide who writes it! i love plotting & i don’t mind writing starters, depending on what’s going on (who’s character would be best to begin), and what is going on in my life offline (how much time i have). my starters tend to get long tho, so bewarrrrre lmao ! aside from plotting, if you leave me a prompt i’ll get to it asap. usually the same policy as replies tho, like after 2-5 days i’ll answer them.

INBOX: i love getting stuff sent to me, but i am guilty of ignoring my asks more than anything else! please don’t be offended if you send me something and never get a response, it just depends on how i’m feeling and how behind i am on threads (e.g. if i owe 20 threads i’m probably not gonna answer your copy-paste prompt). my favourite things to receive are headcannon prompts and ooc asks, but again i’m open to everything & it depends heavily on timing.

SELECTIVITY: idk i’m pretty selective. i honestly don’t... know? what i choose my partners based on, tho? i’m guilty of turning people away if their blogs look super unorganized or have minimal effort put into them. i also stop rping with people if they rush me, get upset when i don’t reply quickly, dig into my life ooc w/o prompt or permission, or mention any really sensitive subjects w/o permission. idk. other than that i guess i look for quality of writing? i’m pretty selective nowadays just because i have like 50 threads tracked (yikes mj you bitch), but if you have an idea for anything please don’t be afraid to approach me with it b/c i love making new friends, and there’s a good chance i’ll at least be willing to try threading w/ you.

WISHLIST: i really want close friends for ekko, like some people that really dig into his issues and let him hug all over them and stuff. deep conversations @ nighttime and all that. also if y’all have any younger muses? like my ekko is 18 (STILL don’t do age differences tho pls be reasonable) but i would go for some kinda ship w/ him. it’ll be chiller tho because he’s... he’s my baby. aside from ekko, i really want more general interactions of any kind on @trefoliium , business partners/friends/long-development ships for @ladyferros , and like... any interaction is good on @stranglethorned , but i’m... i really want ships for them. pleaaaaaaase man. i crave it. note that avianna is gay tho, so that’s a thing.

HONEST NOTE: i’m... really chill? willing to talk to about anyone? i’m pretty much always answering messages and lurking unless i’m in a serious class or doing something else (which is almost never). i have a cat. idk man like i’m.. canadian so i’m pretty nice sekdfgkjsagfuykag. i’m bad at league though so there’s a heads up LOL. anyways yes message me anytime ! even if it’s just to bounce headcannons or relationship ideas off of me. <3

TAGGED BY:�� @fortunesails TAGGING: @deathlygaze @infiniitas

#─ ooc. ʏᴏᴜ ᴜsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ᴄᴏᴏʟ.#munnnnnnnn.#updates.

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withoutshield · 4 years ago

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RULES

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me. Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

5. I am a multi-ship blog. All ships are separate in their own standings. Steve is 25 ( at the age when he was injected with the super soldier serum ). As such, I will only be shipping him romantically with muses his own age ( muses 20-30 ). Some threads may get a little spicy but nothing that requires a ‘ do not read at work’ type of posts. I will tag those post that are suggestive with a ‘spicy: tw & spicy for ts’ for blacklisting purposes.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just irl ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well

#long post: tw #rules;;#mobile rules;;#laws;;#mobile laws;;

0 notes

maskthrown-a · 4 years ago

Text

RULES

Short, sweet, and to the point. Follow these rules and we all have a great time.

1. Mutuals only. I must be following you and you must be following me. Only those that I follow can like starter calls, send in character asks, and reply to posts.

5. I am a multi-ship blog. All ships are separate in their own standings. I am open to all kinds of ships, not just romantic ones. I also enjoy platonic, rivalry, and familiar bonds. All ships are open to discussions through my IM(s) or otherwise known as Instant Messenger. Chemistry is key. As long as we interact a little, there’s always the chance that both muses can be in a relationship.

6. Things for you to tag for me are: BIRDS, CHAIN LETTERS, ORGANS, DOGS. For the birds and dogs, just irl ones trigger me. I am fine with cartoon / art / video game ones as they are not real.

7. I am over the age of eighteen. However, I refuse to write smut as I am not comfortable with that subject to begin with and most of my muses here are minors. Please never force me to write this with you and if you keep sending things to me in this type of nature, I will report you, no questions asked.

10. I usually am not considered spoiler free. However, I do tag recent released games, which is Persona 5 Scramble / Strikers. All other games in the Persona 5 series ( original game, dancing in starlight, pq2, and royal ) will NOT be tagged. Follow at your own risk to avoid spoilers.

10a. Knowledge in the Persona series is about ABOVE AVERAGE, please don’t keep pointing out mistakes. I know and will correct them due time.

**DISCLAIMERS.

This blog has been established since January 1st, 2021. Independent and not affiliated with any role play group. Written by SERE.

( rules may be updated from time to time so please check here once in awhile. I will also post when these are updated as well ).

#long post;;#rules;;#mobile rules;;#mobile laws;;

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kalon-confessions-blog · 7 years ago

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Hello my dears,

[asap if you will tree]

phew okay so please please bare with me on this, it's going to be long and rambling and im sure it will jump back and forth a lot so you've had a fair amount of warning :p

im going to start off with the long "essay" posts from yesterday, just to kinda get my foot hold on things c: and guys please understand that in writing this i am really not trying to come off as rude or attackful or anything, and i apologize if i do or if i come off overly "unprofessional" it seems a lot of the time when i try to be super professional i come off as condescending or cold and when i try to be a bit more relaxed im just being silly or unprofessional.

"artists not doing anything for months and then getting to come back whenever they want, taking up a slot that could’ve been an active artist filled with energy and vigor to create instead."

I've seen this mentioned a lot ,, the whole slot thing. the thing is guys, that we don't have a set number of "slots" on staff ,, really we base what we think we need on how efficiently the staff we currently have is functioning. I know recently [the last month or so] things have been a little slow but you have to remember that it was the end of the year, many staff members [and heck people in general] we're busy with finals/vacations/family/the holidays and a whole slew of other things. Bringing in more staff during the holiday season because there a bit of a dip in activity doesn't really make a whole bunch of sense in my opinion because its just the natural ebb and flow of how things go, it happens every year.

"nursery slots being weeks and even months overdue while dozens of personal work and things for other people get put out"

I'll be the first to admit ,, this is actually a bit of a problem ,, it doesn't happen with every artists but I do understand that sometimes owed work gets forgotten, especially when the artist keeps taking on more and more in an attempt to keep up with demand that the community has created. we are aware of this, and myself and Karmel have been discussing it for quite awhile and throwing ideas back and forth for a way to manage it ,, at the time I think we have a pretty solid solution and it after a bit more discussing and working out the kinks it should be able to be implemented fairly soon and shouldn't take too long to see the effects c: i do apologize to anyone that has been on the brunt end of having to wait. one thing you can always do though is message the artist directly to see whats up, and if you don't get an answer then you can always come to myself or Karmel [or if you're noticing something that you aren't a part of you can even submit it to us anonymously via ask or tumblr!!

"hardly anyone but a handful of artists having hm customs open almost constantly, and i’m sure we all know why that is, other than the few artists who genuinely can’t open slots right now."

HM customs have always been a bit of tricky situation since it was switched so that only offical team members could do them and I do apologize that it was never fully explored how to best impliment this system. in the beginning i dont think it was set up to handle a community the size of which we have and hasn't ever really been revised to help fix it. with that being said though we do have a fancy new thread you may want to check out !! its still in the works as all the artists find their spots but there are already several artists who have started using it if you would like to keep track. its called the <a href="http://www.chickensmoothie.com/Forum/viewtopic.php?f=87&t=3701780">Kalon Artist Alley</a>!! essentially every artist on the Kalon team has a post here and they will be able to detail what work they are open for, lay out what projects they currently have, and list any examples or prices [as they may apply] for their work! with this it should make it a lot more easy to find an artist that is open to HM customs and browse just who you might want to partner with!

"staff not responding even to help questions until it’s irrelevant or the other person completely forgot they even asked. not enough nursery artists who are actually active to compensate for the rise in kalon members looking for batches."

I do apologize for any questions that have went unanswered! Its really unfortunate that we've gotten this reputation, but I do swear to you that it is never intentional! Sometimes I so wish I could just show you guys a day in the life of the staff chat, it is honestly off the hook 24/7 with people chatting about all kinds of different business from questions to designs/growths/rule breaking and a whole slew of everything in between! And often times our inboxes are just the same, I know mine is! Things fall through the cracks sometimes in a community so big and id be willing to bet that more often than not we actually have discussed the question at hand and it may just be that the conversation rolled over to something new that distracted the original staff member handling it from responding to you and then never picked it back up. that is something that we will have to start working a lot harder on, but like i said, it is absolutely never intentional that we are forgetting responses. if you dont hear back usually within 72 hours it is absolutely okay for you to resend the message or to send it to a new staff member !!

"staff don’t have an obligation to be active since if they aren’t, they don’t get the activity rewards, but again, like i said in a previous point, artist activity is a serious issue that isn’t taken seriously enough, or at all. if people aren’t active but get on to post maybe one kalon every few months, that’s an issue and needs to be talked to with the person. if they can’t get on enough to post kalons more than every few months, maybe they should take a break and someone who can be more active can be brought in."

like you mentioned, i kinda touched on this one in the first response, however I would also like to point something else out. while i dont consider Kalons to be a business and myself and Karmel dont run them as such, even if you are looking at this from a real world employment there are actually a lot of different levels of activity that are acceptable!! normally you have full time ,, part time ,, and PRN [as needed] employees all working for the same company. my artists are just like that in a lot of respects and its completely unfair to say they dont deserve compensation for what they do when they are able to do it. they aren't taking up a slot from anyone else and they are still providing amazing designs and input into the community ,, heck a lot of the time when an artist is unable to make designs they are still active in the staff chat and in other areas that may not be their primary duty as an artist.

" staff apparently being too big to manage properly"

[cutting this one a little short]

you are absolutely right !! we have said this a lot and that's because we really do mean it !! and when we talk about staff being too big to manage we dont actually mean that all those names are just too much, we mean that the active people that we are currently managing is quite a lot !! looking back on our activity documentation for the last 6 months there has consistently been an average of 30+ active artists working !! and that not even including our mods or myself and Karmel ,, for two people who have adult lives off the internet that is a lot to manage and we are trying our absolute best while still not spreading ourselves too thin because then the issues that you have already expressed just become more exaggerated when we have to provide them with even less attention than we already do. and while we think that the staff we have right now is very strong and putting out a lot of work already [did you know that last month alone over 200 designs were put into the community just from the nursery and main adopts ?? and over the last 6 months over 2,000 designs were?] we have opened the nursery search again and may soon be opening the main artists search as well to alleviate some of the demand that you guys are throwing out there c:

I'm not going to quote any of the last point as its quite long but to a degree I would like to agree, just in all honesty. I haven't been able to be a real part of the actually community for quite some time since becoming a co-owner and in that time from the position i am in I have seen a lot of stuff. I know that it may seem like no body cares but really I think the issue is just in a community this large in general it can be hard to find a foot hold. now im not making any excuses for those that go out of their way to ignore everyone or only talk to their friend group, but I do also know a lot of people that try their hardest to talk to new people or as many people as they can. i wish there were some easy clear cut way that I could address this and have it fixed in just a couple of days but the sad truth is that you are right, this is more than just what we as staff can tackle by ourselves and really takes the effort of the entire community but we are trying to promote it !! our events have shifted from just token grabs to be more development and cooperation based and often offer or require the interaction with community members that you may not know !! while I dont have any wonderful news for how we plan to fix it please know that we see the rift and we do want to fix it ,, if you or anything really has suggestions or just wants to talk about the experiences that made their introduction to the community better/worse i would honestly really urge you to come talk to me or any staff member. i promise you for all the anxiety it can cause to message one of us we are really just a group of massive dweebs and our side chat would definately prove that. we don't ever aim to make anyone uncomfortable or to be rude when responding to you guys and i apologize if it has ever come off that way when dealing with one of us with Kalon related things. one good thing about such a big staff is that if you have an issue with one of us you can always find someone else <3

Im sure i've missed some stuff and i know i had origianlly planned to address more than just the essay posts but its getting late for me and I have a really big day tomorrow ,, so if ive missed someone or you guys have anything else you would like to have addressed I would actually really urge you to send it on over to the Kalon tumblr. you can find it at kalon-adopts.tumblr.com [where this was submitted from] !! i vagued it earlier but yeah !! its brand spanking new and still under a lot of construction as far as coding and the like goes but it is functional !! as much as i despise the premise of both of the confessions blog i have realized that Tumblr has become quite an ingrained part of the CS and Kalon community and I would love to continue engage with you guys over it. I know its not the same as the confessions blog but hopefully you will feel more at ease contacting us anonmously there or just sharing your views and opinions in general c: we plan to eventually link the blog on our CS pages once its compeltely set up so please keep in mind nothing explicit will ever be allowed to be submitted there.

ack so yeah here's my really long and drawn out submission that i promised earlier c: i hope you guys read a bit of it and maybe understand a bit more now. i know sometimes it can seem like the staff is being really quiet and maybe not doing anything at all but i can assure you that we are always abuzz and honestly we are just about everywhere listening to just about everything and in some way or another almost all complaints are brought up and discussed. we may not post or announce every little move we are making but i cross my heart and pinky promise that we are working tirelessly to try and improve this community for you guys and for ourselves ,, we love this species and we know that without each and every one of you there wouldn't be anything for us to love so we want to make it as friendly and functioning as we can. all i ask is that you give us a little understanding and patients and i promise you are going to see the positive outcome <3

[also please forgive any mistake its late for me and im tired and not the best at typing anyways lol]

-Wicced!

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briteboy · 8 years ago

Photo

yelling @ santi, i’m evil again (what else is new), SOME REALLY REALLY OLD ASKS, one GoT spoiler at the very bottom (beware)

*angrily slaps santi* GET YOUR SELF TOGETHER YAH POOP HEAD

Lou and Fiona deserve happiness pls let it happen ty

they do ;-; it will happen, don’t worry, no one suffers forever <3 i’ve actually been planning out lou’s story and i’m excited to actualize it hehe

I just read all of Santis story. Dear god, it is amazing. I cannot begin to describe how much I love it. I have been really sick lately and have such a hard time concentrating on anything for more than one second but I have not been able to look away from this story, not even when I re-read it for the third time. You are an amazing writer and I have fallen in love with every charachter you have introduced. I teared up so many times and my heart began beating fast, it was really an experience.

OH MY GOD ;___________; YOU READ IT THREE TIMES WHAATDOSOIGODFSKL holy shit thank you so much, i don’t even know what to say right now lmao ;-; i’m just kinda in awe that i was able to grab your attention like that and that you enjoyed it so much and just askjdjfsd THANK YOU i can’t say anything else but just thank you, people like you make this all worth it <3

A case of the novembers is the kinda story you read and you just know its going to stick with you for awhile. Like ones day, you'll be long gone in the future, doing something totally different, older wiser, all that bullshit, and you'll just randomly remember what a bittersweet story it was.

OMFG ;___; holy heck asjdjnfkdkjs this really got me right in the heart lmao. that’s the kind of story it’s always been for me and seeing other people interpret it that way as well is just mind boggling, thank you <3

You are evil. My poor heart hurts. ;______________;

you've ruined my life

Life hack: listen to the entire Hamilton soundtrack whilst working out at the gym. By the end of it, you'll have lost half your body weight due to sweating and crying at the same time (pls help this was such a bad decision)

OMG that’s me with grimes’ art angels lmao i go hord to kill v maim and venus fly

hamilton fans also go hord i respect it. learn more about history get swole killing two birds with one stone

Okay this is so fucking random but a while ago you did a post where you talked about perfect bby gianni saying that he spent a lot of time in introspection and like Thank you 'cause now I have a word to put on this thing I do when I try to figure why I feel certain things or what my relationship with people/random shit is and why and yeah I kind of understand myself a little better now so thx a lot!!! 😘😘😘 Also, you're great.

i think i was actually talking about santi (’cause that’s where we’re at right now, in that period of introspection for him heheh) but YES omg that makes me so happy ;-; it’s a good word lmao and i do the same thing, in fact i’m always trying to figure out my relationships with everything in order to understand myself more. that’s kinda why i’m so into astrology haha. i’m glad you finally got to pin down that feeling for yourself, it’s the best when that happens <3 YOU’RE GREAT TOO 💫

NOOOOOOOO MY FAVS THIS CAN'T... LOU.... SANTI PLS... THIS IS A RIOT 😭😭

let’s start protesting santi in the streets

Hi!! Umm I'm guessing you do but just in case, did you know there was a tear accessory? I think it's an eyeliner (cause you mentioned having to draw them yourself)

yeah i do! i mentioned the ones by s-club, i’ve used those a couple times. but i like drawing them myself because i feel like it’s weird to have the same single teardrop every time one of my characters cries (and we all know they’ve been crying a lot lately lmfao) if they didn’t cry often i probably wouldn’t feel compelled to draw the tears. but i don’t mind drawing them honestly, it’s kinda fun lmao. thanks for your consideration <3

so im sitting here thinkin....... what if santi goes on this trip and coms back and lou is in a relationship!?!?!

👏santi👏get👏it👏together👏

HE’S TRYIN

i want to die

AAAH SOLE DEVELOPMENT BETWEEN CUTE DEVIL CHILD AND I ALMOST DIED TWICE TATOO MAN YES

I HAD TO READ THIS LIKE THREE TIMES TO UNDERSTAND IT LMFAOSDOJDKF BUT YES their relationship kills me the most ;__;

wait santi tried to kys :'(

WHERE U BEEN he did :{

what font do u use in your histories?

arial!

hi u have a really pretty blog and I hope you have a good day

THIS IS SO SWEET I DON’T DESERVE IT ;-; I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY TOO HONEYBEE 🌻

nyooooooom

I WENT M.I.A FOR A LITTLE AND I COME BACK TO READ UP ON THE STORY AND HOW DARE YOU ASHDDJFKL

@teishajenaie on instagram looks like Rooney to me, idk if you'd agree but ??

i see it!! definitely in the eyes and nose. also sorry i answered this literally like 3 months later lmao

gooey by glass animals gives me santi vibes :) ive been listening to it on repeat (bc im tht bitch) and it was making me think of you and his story! c: i hope you dont mind me over here lmao anyway, im excited to see where it goes and real excited for a back story for lou!! <3 lots of love

omg haha that’s actually funny because i used it in that one scene of him tripping, although it’s like completely a gianni song to me (at least personality-wise, it’s even on his playlist on my character page) and noooo i don’t mind, i love that song and i love when people recommend me songs!! i have a whole bunch of recommendations in my inbox that i need to acknowledge omg. anyway I’M EXCITED THAT YOU’RE EXCITED, especially for lou’s story, it’s coming up reeeeeal soon <333

i feel so late to the party but i Just started reading your story like five minutes ago and im absolutely entranced by it already and i cant wait to catch up and finally understand what to heck is going on

this was sent literally forever ago when santi and molly were out there being wild in the desert lmao so i hope you caught up and everything. “entranced” omg that’s such a wonderful word i’m honored

i didnt think i could love you more but the fact that you watch arrested development makes me so happy. i cry. my boyfriend has a mr manager, bluths frozen bananas shirt thats literally my favorite thing ever.

OMGGG YES i watched it once forever ago and i need to re-watch it asap lmao. I’M PRETTY SURE I BOUGHT THAT SAME EXACT SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER FOR CHRISTMAS ONE YEAR

Just a biiig prank. Huge

this one is from so long ago i don’t remember the context but i laughed at loud when i read it. huge

i was playing with uncharted for the first time today and they said Navarro in it and i was like THATS MY BOI SANTIII

santi infiltrating everyone’s lives my bf played uncharted tho!! it looked cool. like indiana jones. i liked the marketplace part. a monkey stole his apple

Hi sunny! I really am in love with your story (even if it's tearing me apart at the moment) and just wanted to say you're cool Stay strong ma dude

HI THANK YOU <333 you’re also cool my dude and i’m sorry for tearing you apart (if it makes you feel any better this story tears me apart on a daily basis)

what packs and expansions do u have for ur game?

ummmmmm all of them except vintage glamour and fitness stuff. i wish i didn’t buy some of the stuff packs lmao but what can ya do i actually didn’t even get vampires or bowling or parenthood until like a month ago lmao i’m late to the party

Oh shit she's been dead hasn't she. Like this is all a drug or alcohol infused bender of mollys memory, she's probably never left. They're probably still at the hospital. I hope I fucking wrong but shit I also hope not. Poor santi

we’re so far past this but i just wanted to publish this anyway lmao it was a good theory! and this person was so sure of it it kinda made me wish it was true lol. sorry if that disappointed you but i’ll always remember this one in my sad sad heart 💔

how long did it take for you to make friends here? I started a simblr because I really like storytelling with my sims & I thought it'd be fun to meet people who enjoy that, too, especially since I don't have many friends irl...but I've been here for quite a few months now and it seems like no one even cares that I'm here....everyone I try to interact with pretty much ignores me after a message or two....I'm just feeling really discouraged about my presence here :/

I’M REALLY SORRY I DIDN’T ANSWER THIS SOONER ASKJDKJFSDKA (i’m sure it didn’t help the fact that you feel ignored, i really really hope you see this) but okay uhhhhhhh i only had acquaintances from 2015 up until like this year? then i started really becoming close with people. so it took a while lol, but i think everyone starts off slow because it’s mostly about the actual game we’re playing at first and then making friends just happens through that. don’t get discouraged, like i said it took a while for me. you really just need to reach out to the people you’d like to become friends with, reply to their posts, give your genuine thoughts, say something that’ll make their day...people notice that no matter what they have going on, i promise. i hope you’re still here and hanging in there. don’t get caught up in who’s talking to you or not talking to you, just do your thing, enjoy what you do, and people will notice you. <3

3. Hi so I just wanted to say that I love your story, I'm here for every update. I'm an s3 player I play s4 every once in awhile but s3 has my soul. I love Santi and I know he will be happy in the end, whether it's with Lou or not(hopefully it is tho) I only want him to be happy. I go through so many emotions in one post, like this is a tv drama and I can��t wait for the next episode. This is the end of my cut and paste. Have a nice day.❤️

HI HELLO <3 this is so sweet and i can’t believe you actually care about my story lmao thank you i’m glad you have faith in his happy ending, i don’t want anyone to think i genuinely like making my characters suffer lmao. i only do it to make the happy ending more satisfying. asjdfjksd comparing my stuff to film or tv always makes me so giddy so THANK YOU ily <333

"Suicide before you see this tear fall down my eyes" (Beyonce) reminds me of Molly's situation soooo muchhhh aaaahhhhh

OMG YES what a good connection. good song good connection yaeeahhh better call molly with the good hair

Ummmm... hello! I just read through your whole story with Santi and I'm like... holy fuck. Not only is your story wonderful, your editing is so good. I'm surprised I didn't shove my eyes up against my computer screen. Please continue making wonderful things and being great. Signing off 12:31 in the morning, I hope you have as much fun as you want to

“as much fun as you want to” omfgasdkngjd why did that make me laugh so much. don’t have too much fun, have the responsible amount of fun anyway HELLO thank you soooooO much ;-; pls don’t shove ur eyes up against the screen i’m almost positive that’s not good for them. but i appreciate this so much thank YOU for being great <3 signing off at 2:18 in the morning after ignoring this message for months now (i’m sorryyyyyyy) but um ily

HELLO??? I JUST READ A SERIOUS CASE OF NOVEMBER FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I'M LIKE CRYING???? y u do dis to me I hate you and love you at the same time

(I need to rant I'm sorry) My uncle is really positive towards the army and war and stuff like that and all day he's been going on about how it should be mandatory to serve in the military, especially for "little brat girls" like me? And it's stressing me out so much I want to cry :( The army and war is something that genuinely scares me and I don't want anything to do with it, but he's just going on and on! What should I do?

this is literally sooooooooo late and i feel so bad i’m sorry, i hope this still helps you out and i hope you see it tho okay. i’m pretty sure this was even before the trans military ban like whew idek what your uncle must think about that. tbh just ignore him, like i know it’s hurtful but like...what is his point in telling you this? i would’ve literally been like (sarcastically) “ok then sign me up” but i’m also a lil shit so that’s probably not the best thing to say. but really like the only thing he’s trying to do is feel powerful by means of expressing his militaristic (no pun intended) opinions to someone far younger than him. it’s so that he feels bigger and better than you (especially by calling you a brat). he’s a sad man and anyone who relies on the military, of all things, to shape a person probably doesn’t have a strong sense of self anyway. i love you okay, just ignore him, don’t let him stress you out <3

I'm a little high and it's late but I have a lot of courage now so I've been following you for a while and I just want to tell you how much I love your story! I have come across other places on tumblr who do this but none have captured me as this one did! You are amazing and I am in love with this story! Thanks fo being you! :)

ONMG YOU HAD TO BE HIGH TO SEND THIS LMAO that was me this weekend anyway thank you so much, it floors me every time anyone says these kinds of things to me and it never gets old ;-; you are so amazing ok <333

you can't possibly be offended by a homophobic joke in game of thrones, it's set in medieval times. they had several lgbt characters in it, it's not the show that's homophobic, it's the characters, which is accurate for that time period.

o i can and i will lmao i mean i get where you’re coming from but with that logic you could say it’s only accurate to put homophobic jokes in today’s media just because people are still homophobic in the time live in. i know it’s the characters, but you do understand that someone writes those characters, right? it’s bad writing. it’s lazy and pandering and because of that it’s offensive. idk if you know the exact dialogue i was referring to but it was so completely unnecessary lmfao. they could’ve made a million other jokes. regardless of how it offended me it was just BAD lmao

SPOILER BELOW OK DON’T SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA

@ I wanna watch GoT anon: don't. It's just so fucking bad. The definition of overhyped tbh (and btw, sunny, PLS HELP HE SCREWED HIS FUCKING AUNT WTH)

LMAO SOMEONE ACTUALLY AGREES WITH ME? wow bless u. it is definitely overhyped, like it was good at first but it’s been riding that hype through these past couple of seasons to disguise the bad writing. i understand being entertained by it, but i’m always surprised when people think it’s actually well written at this point...it’s so cringey and now thanks to the season finale this fanbase will be justifying incest. great!

OK MOVE ALONG NOW

#AND I'LL BE ANSWERING THE CHARACTER ASKS TOMORROW (well today but whatev)#anonymous #nonsims #saviorhide #sunny answers

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innerkryptonitebanana-blog · 7 years ago

Text

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That is my average open rate from a month of email marketing the “old way”. 6.67%… Pathetic? Yes. Unusual? No.

And guess how much money I made from email marketing in that month…

Yup. Barely over a hundred bucks… Sadly, this has become very common today. In fact, it might even look familiar to you.

Now, let me show you a more recent month of email marketing.

This is my average open rate from one month of email marketing after I implemented that trick I’m going to show you in a moment.

Look at that. A 537% increase.

Guess how much I made from email marketing that month…

Yup… $1,272.80.

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Since then my wife and I have gone on to build a six-figure online business, called Warlord Entrepreneur.

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The question you want answered is…

What caused this difference?

Before

After

What took me from an absolutely abysmal open rate and almost no revenue,

to a super high open rate and the ability to make money every time I hit send?

Before I answer that…

Let’s talk about why your email marketing currently sucks!

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What do you do when you encounter someone else’s lead page?

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Be Honest:

What do YOU usually type into that opt-in form?

Your best email address?

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First of all, statistics show that up to a third of you have typed in a fake email address a few times in the past. (You know who you are). Of the rest of you though, most of you probably have a secondary email address of some sort. Maybe it’s one you used to use but you don’t check it as much any more. Maybe it’s one you reserve specifically for lead magnets and promotional stuff where you’ve got a million marketers bombarding you every day in your inbox. And you almost never check that and you tend to ignore the hundreds of promotional emails you get in there.

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It’s not your best email address.

Now don’t feel bad. It’s normal. It’s what almost everybody does.

…everybody…

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When YOU build a squeeze page…

And YOU send traffic to it…

What do you think THEY are typing into YOUR Opt-in Form?

Their best email address?

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Have inboxes full of hundreds of competing marketing emails.

Are bad for the health of your list.

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(Read Carefully)

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You must cast aside the traditional,

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You need to be collecting people’s best, primary email addresses.

Email addresses they actually check, regularly, a hundred times a day.

Email addresses with little or no inbox competition from other marketers.

(And yes, from time to time, you’ll want to use their name in the subject line so you can boost your open rates by a further 30 percent, so you’ll want to collect their real name too.)

Primary Emails and RealNames. That’s It.

That is how we boosted open rates by 537% and boosted profits by 954%

and we’ve been doing it without using any forms for leads to type in…

So How Do You Capture Their Best, Primary Email Address?

I’ll give you a hint…

It’s by leveraging something your audience relies on for 70% of their online activities.

Yup. Whether you like it or not, the vast majority of your traffic is coming from mobile devices.

Tablets and Phones…

And when every one of your potential leads first bought and setup their phone or tablet, guess what email address they setup in their email app…

Their Best, Primary

Email Address.

And how do we grab it?

with

WARLORD

OPTIN

Warlord Optin is an earth-shattering new list building tool that leverages your lead’s email app in order to grab their best, primary email and the name associated with their email account and automatically adds that contact info to your autoresponder list.

What is it?

(It’s Best Just to Watch the Entire Video Above)

Step 1: Warlord Optin creates a special “magic button” that, when tapped, prompts the lead’s email app to draft a pre-written email of your choosing (ideally something like “please send me the free gift”).

Step 2: When the lead taps the “send” button, that email is then sent from their primary email accountto a special Warlord Optin integration email address that automatically adds the lead’s primary email and name to your autoresponder list as a new contact.

How Does it Work?

Pre-Written Messages?

Yes, this is a custom message that you create, but it’s being sent from the lead. (e.g. “Yes, please send the Spiced Christmas Goose recipe to my inbox, ASAP!”)

Custom “Magic Buttons”?

Yup. Your “magic buttons” can look however you want them to. All you need is a source image. You can even have a cute little puppy with the caption “tap my nose” if you want.

Which Mobile Devices?

Warlord Optin buttons work on any mobile device that utilizes an email app or email “client”. This includes almost all smartphones and tablets (we haven’t found one it doesn’t work on yet!)

Goodbye Opt-in Forms

Website Compatibility?

Warlord Optin buttons work on most major web builders that allow html shortcodes, including WordPress, OptimizePress 2.0, InstaPage, Weebly, and more.

Autoresponder Integrations?

In addition to working directly and effortlessly with GetResponse and Aweber, Warlord Optin 2.0 now includes Zapier & IFTTT Modules so you can connect with almost any email platform out there including MailChimp, iContact, ConstantContact, Active Campaign, SendReach, and more!

NEW!

2.0

Is That All?

Nope!

Warlord Mobile Links

Warlord Mobile Links is a brand-new feature that allows you to bypass buttons and landing pages altogether and simply deploy the Warlord Optin effect inside the textual content of your website, blog, or even your emails.

Plus Three More Modules

The Hybrid Optin Method allows you to accommodate web traffic indiscriminately, regardless of whether it’s desktop, tablet, or smartphone.

The RetroActive Leads module empowers you to reach backwards into your current email list and salvage some of your hard-earned leads by converting them to Warlord-Quality leads.

The Masterclass will help you get the maximum value out of Warlord Optin. It teaches everything from button generation to landing page design.

Epic Bonuses

To Help You Accomplish Your Marketing Goals, We’re Also Throwing These In:

MEGA BONUS:

Squeeze Page Critique and Consultation

Very Limited

I’m famous in this industry for skyrocketing conversion rates. I can charge big bucks for this type of advice and consulting.

When you’ve got a Warlord Optin Squeeze Page up and running, I will personally critique it myself and offer consultation and advice on how to improve it and maximize your conversion rates.

To my fellow industry leaders and vendors:

Yes, I know it is non-standard and silly to offer this type of hands-on bonus to literally every person who buys this low-priced product on sale today.

Yes, I know it will take a lot of my time and it’s something I should be charging an hourly fee for.

…but this wouldn’t be the first time I’ve broken a few rules, would it? 😉

UNPRECEDENTED GUARANTEE

Dual 30-Day Guarantee

100% MONEY BACK

$1,000 Value Back

Full Refund and You Keep All The Bonuses

Our Dual Guarantee

To show how absolutely certain we are that Warlord Optin will improve your email marketing, we’re offering an unprecedented Dual Guarantee. If you decide, within 30 days, that Warlord Optin does not help your open rates, then not only do you get a full refund, but you will also get to keep all of the amazing bonuses on this page, a $1,000 value.

P.S. Hopefully you watched the video at the top and you understand the magnitude of what’s happening on this page…

You can now effortlessly collect primary, best email addresses and real names. You can build the most high-quality, responsive list ever. You can experience open rates and email sales like never before. Click the button above, before the sale endsand say goodbye to low open rates and stagnant revenue forever.

[GET] Warlord Optin DOWNLOAD

Special 2.0 Sale Ends Soon

DAYS

HOURS

MINUTES

SECONDS

Let’s Recap:

Here’s what you’re getting on this page:

Warlord Optin Software ($3,000 Value)

Warlord Masterclass ($50 Value)

Warlord Retroactive Leads ($100 Value)

Warlord Hybrid Optin ($50 Value)

Eleven Epic Bonuses ($1,000 Value)

Total Value: $4,200

You know the drill. This is a big product launch. And as always, during a product launch, you won’t pay anywhere near what the product is worth. But, after that timer ends, the price goes up. Today, until that timer hits zero, you can grab Warlord Optin and all these added bonuses for the insane low price you see below. So, if you’re ready to skyrocket your list building, lead quality, open rates, and email marketing profits, click the button below and let’s get started.

Special 2.0 Launch Price:

Limited:

Use “warlord35”

for 35% Off

About Me

Yeah, that’s right. I’ve got an “about me” section on a sales page. Breakin’ all the rules…

I’m a simple husband, father of six, and recently retired-combat veteran living in the mid-west.

In 2016, I left the Air Force and became a full-time internet entrepreneur.

In the years since then, Deo Gratias, we’ve gone on to build a multi-six-figure online business with thousands of customers, clients, affiliates, and partners all over the world.

We’ve had the privilege of being praised by some of the top figures in IM as well as publicly endorsed by celebrity investor Kevin Harrington from Shark Tank. Heck, I’ve even had the pleasure of giving a speech about online entrepreneurship at the United Nations!

We have the best customer community (“Warlord Nation”) in the industry and we thank God for each of them every day.

Our mission is to empower struggling entrepreneurs around the globe “to do what most people are not willing to do, so that they can live like most people never will“.

“Steven Alvey is a force to be reckoned with…”

– Omar Martin

Shark Tank’s

Kevin Harrington About Me

vimeo

↑↑↑

That’s me at the

U.N. Headquarters 🙂

↑↑↑

Dinner with

Kevin Harrington

[GET] Warlord Optin DOWNLOAD

Limited:

Use “warlord35”

for 35% Off

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