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meili-sheep · 2 years ago

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Hello, Kai, really interested in knowing the relationship of sumeru characters and diluc. Also, fontaine characters too (those who we know/already meet)

I think that Navia and Diluc have some stuff in common... I think

This is my first time asking you, so please ignore mistakes

Hello! Welcome! And don't worry about mistakes my brain has this really nice autocorrect feature called dyslexia so about 70% of the time I don't any grammar or spelling errors. But it back fires a lot. Kind of like regular autocorrect. ANY WAY. I would kind of love to talk about this.

SUMERU

Al Haitham

So I do enjoy shipping Diluc and Al Haitham because well they would just absolutely vibe together. Defiantly a lot of autism to autism communication. They are also both they type of people who can work or do separate activates right next to each other and come away saying they really like each other and the other is a good person.

Like their relationship could be them hardly speaking to each other but they just genuinely enjoy company and having someone understand on different level.

Candace

So I firmly think she (and Dehya for that matter) would look at Diluc and go "baby"

She's a protector and would in a small way equate Diluc to a little prince or knight. And I think if she learned about Diluc's family history she might feel a common ground there. And she'd defiantly pick up on how young, but accomplished he is. Just generally he'd kick in her protective instincts. SPECIALLY SINCE HE'D BE A VERY RESPECTFULLY GOOD BOY.

Cyno

Honestly I think Diluc would really enjoy Cyno's jokes. Not to the point where he'd laugh out loud but defiantly remark about how funny and clever it is. And Cyno just get the glint in his eyes that Collei and Tighnari fear.

I've also had them together in The Teyvat Detective Club Because they have strong senses of right and wrong with focuses on justice and retribution. So I kind of think out of everyone in Sumeru Diluc and Cyno would be the closest as friends.

Collei

So I believe Diluc know of Collie. Lisa does tell him about her progress and he's got a silent investment and pride. But he doesn't really think he need to introduce himself. She doesn't need to know that he cause the distraction and took the blame for her accident. But he's always extra gentle with her.

For Collei's part she probably is just amazed by Diluc and how gentle and calming his presence is. With Tighnari she's probably been told to be very careful with Pyro vision, but she doesn't see the Choatic side of Diluc. Diluc reminds her a lot of a camp fire, a warm relaxing. She probably see him as an exemplar of what Knights are supposed to be based off of what Amber has told her.

And I think if she learned about his involvement in helping her and who he too hate the fatui and has suffered at their hands. She'd cry.

Dehya

As a Claymore Pyro, (on standard) I think Dehya already feel a connection. And she would love swapping stories with him until she realizes how young he is.

And then she'd probably ask about how he keeps his skin looking so nice. He would shrug and just say he washes regularly.

Then it hits her

He's not even 25 yet he's barely 23.

Big sister mode kicks in and she picks him up toss him over her shoulder. This her now. her little brother and if anything happen to him she will kill everyone and then herself.

Dori

So these two are probably the ones most likely to have canon interaction. And Dori has absolutely tried to sell counterfeit dandelion wine.

And well.

Dori has probably the personally see Diluc's pretty close to bottomless assets. The ability to by like what was it 2000? fake Breath of Barbatos. Either way she sees him as someone she can't really cross without facing a lose in some way, and he's not one who she can trick. So she admires him in some way for how he's added to his family's wealthy but also in some was see him as a rival for having family wealthy and still being a good businessman.

Faruzan

Diluc actually calls her Madam and gives her the elder respect that she asks for. So she loves him and probably has tried to get him to become a student specially since I do think Diluc would have an interests in linguistics particularly in syphers and codes.

She probably would be his got to for such things relating to machines and langue. And honestly Diluc would personally fund her projects seeing that her lines and interests in blending fields of study could have long term good effects for everyone.

Kaveh

So I'm a big Kavehluc person.

And Kaveh would instantly see Diluc's beauty and just fall head over heels and just progressively get worst because he'd see Diluc on top of being beautiful is one of the gentlest and sweetest people he's every meet. Kaveh would admire him because he just gives himself and knows when to hold back with out feeling any of the guilt that Kaveh struggles with.

And even if you don't ship them I feel they would get along as Kaveh feels he could learn something from Diluc.

Layla

So Diluc's not an astrology person. But I feel he's treat Layla the same was he does Sucrose. He would be extra gentle and try to subtly build up Layla's confidences. Which would put him in high regards in "other" Layla's book.

If he meet them both he would tries his best to meet the real Layla which he thinks is some point in-between day and night time Layla.

Nahida

Not give a single shit she's an archon.

That's a baby.

And Diluc has a biiiiiiig soft spot for children. Defiantly respects her wisdom but defiantly is in big bro mode.

Nilou

RED HEADS.

But I get the feeling that Nilou is like Amber and that she has a "grump" translator. Meaning when Diluc says something that might come across as "Blunt" at best She instantly knows what he means. And she instantly knows how kind and sweet he is.

There defiantly is at small group of Nilou, Dehya, Diluc, and Candace all swapping skin, hair and general beauty tips.

Tighnari

So Tighnari is the Sumeru Rep of the Bully the Fatui Brigade. And I think Tighnari would eventually learn what Diluc did for Collie. So There is a lot of respect between them. And A lot of low key chaos

A little Less when Tighnari learns Diluc acutely like Cyno's Jokes.

Wanderer

I'm not really a fan. But I feel like Diluc wouldn't be intimated by Wanderer at all. And Wanderer would be super duper leery knowing about Diluc's past.

But Diluc doesn't remember Wander but Wander would be sort of curious about this side of the feared Fatui hunter. Defiantly would probably try to get one his good side for his own revenge related reason. Enemy of my enemy all that.

FONTAINE

Colrinde

So there isn't a lot info on her yet for me to make a call. But I feel they would have a generally positively sort of respectful relationship. Not a lot more tho.

Freminet

Into the kid collection he goes. He likes all his kids Diluc would be extremely gently and patient with Ferminet. Defiantly giving him claymore tips and probably even recommending he talk to Eula because there could be lines crossed between swimming and dancing that could be used to help him.

Diluc probably has a general soft spot for Cyro users just because of Keaya so ya know.

Furina

So consider she's just Fischl on steroids. Diluc would probably end up treating her like he does Fischl. Just gently playing into what makes her happy but also drawing clear lines when she's over stepping or about to overstep.

Diluc already has experience pulling in his archon, and given his own sense of justice I feel he and Furina would generally get along great up untill he wounds her pride, but he'd only every do it when she's being too much.

Neuvillette sings Diluc's praises for this.

Lynette

Just like with Al Haitham.

Autism to Autism communication.

Lynette would be totally see similarities between Diluc and Lyney as they are both brother would try and take all the burden away from their siblings and do everything they can protect them. So Lynette would look out for Diluc probably ends up giving Kaeya a care list for Diluc because I totally think she has one for how she takes care of Lyney when he's not looking. Not to her suprise Kaeya already has one.

Lyney

OK OK OK.

Lyney and Diluc are generally the more calm and collected end of the Pyro spectrum. But I get the feeling they both would just bring out their inner Chaos.

Like Yeah both Lyney and Lynette have heard about Diluc's Fatui Hunting. But I also think that Diluc would have tried to liberate House of Hearth and find better places for Kids. If not give them more supplies and more of a childhood. Because the he would learn of the House of Hearth and I think It's where Diluc would start to waiver on his conviction which would lead to him seeing how his method wasn't working.

So despite being Fatui Diluc would still treat them well and I feel he'd love Lyney's stage magic and learning all the tricks. It would be a puzzle game between them Lyney performs a trick and Diluc tries to figure out how he did it.

Navia

So Navia I feel could probably be the best candidate to be add to the detective club.

And there would be a lot of trauma bonding with her and Diluc over losing their father before taking up their mantles. So again I feel Diluc would provide funding to Spina di Rosula specially since the info they gain could be usfull to the Detective club or Diluc's underground organization.

Navia might even be an apprentice to Diluc but I acutely sort of get the vibe that she's older, but she's still have a lot of respect for his experience and general attitude. while he admires her passion for doing what is right and seeking the truth against all odds.

Neuvillette

So I've already seen art of Diluc and Neuvillette together and they are like super cute and chill vibes.

Like I don't have the best grip on Neuvillette yet but I feel like he and Diluc would get along in that they generally are pretty vibing but at the same time Neuvillette could learn a lot form Diluc as Diluc's passion for justice as well as being a generally passionate person would give Neuvillette a lot more perspective while not overwhelming him.

But also that leak about the Dark knight hero line. It would add a lot of spicy and also questions to the realtionship

Sigewinne

New daughter.

That's all I got mostly because see below.

Wriothesley

Look man this is gonna be my new addition to the Diluc Harem. Like I just get the gay Jane Austin Vibes from these two. Like if you want regency romance Wrioluc will be your thing. But that's just the vibe I'm picking up right now. I am super excited to learn more.

#diluc #diluc ragnvindr #diluc headcanons #sumeru characters #fontaine characters

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shurisneakers · 4 years ago

Text

harmless (xiii)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, smidge of angst, guns, little bit of violence, obnoxious flirting, and kidnapping lol

Word count: 6.2k

A/N: welcome to chaos week >:) this is the first of three updates coming out this week (if i can finish the last one in time). big thank you to my love @no-shit-sherl0ck for the kidnaped!reader idea, and that one anon who suggested the inator that’s used here. i know you wanted to see it in a zoo but i couldn’t really figure out a way to use that so i referenced it a bunch in previous chapters. oh and also @ginevranights for this specific imagery

Previous Part || Series Masterlist

Who the fuck kidnaps a villain in this day and age?

Saturday started normally enough.

Nat kicked Bucky’s ass in training, evening the score to 120 and 120. He blames it on the lack of sleep. She tells him that it’s his fault he stayed up late to binge watch 911 Lone Star.

He still thinks it was worth it.

The team’s sunshines and rainbows that morning. Someone had cooked up a batch of pancakes and fresh orange juice. Someone else burnt the bacon but left to feed his dog before anyone could complain.

Nat opened up the newspaper. Different sections went to different people until Bucky got stuck with the entertainment section. Fun, considering that he doesn’t even recognise half the names. He’d have to pretend to be interested until the next rotation.

He watches the orange juice levitate in front of him from the corner of his eye and just assumes that Wanda’s getting a refill even though she could have just asked him to pass it. He smells the next batch of bacon burning and figures that Clint is back.

Sam’s beside him, annoying him about how long it takes for him to read about which new celebrity relationship just ended and Bucky retaliates by reading even slower. Fuck you.

He’s on his second stack of pancakes absolutely drenched in maple syrup when the doors to the elevator open and Marie steps out, laptop in her hand.

An instant chorus of hello’s and invitations to have some charred bacon resound through the table. She politely declines them with a small smile, instead opening her laptop and placing it in front of Bucky without further ado.

He looks at her questioningly, slowly swallowing whatever was in his mouth.

“An email for you.” She tuts her head towards it. “It has a video attachment of your friend.”

Bucky has plans to not watch the video in front of everyone, given that the content could range anywhere from you reading out fanfiction about him to a deep-fake of him singing a Whitney Houston song.

Both of which you have done before and would do again, without any hesitation.

“Aren’t you gonna watch it?” Wanda asks from across the table.

He slowly shakes his head no, cutting his stack into smaller pieces.

“If what’s in it is real, it’s important,” Marie stresses.

“What’s in it?” he inquires instead, hoping that the team would stop staring at him. If Marie was implying strongly that he needed to watch then something was wrong.

“Just watch it, man.” Sam’s statement has everyone agreeing with him. Bucky can’t refuse now, and if the team makes fun of him for the next month about how he looks good belting Greatest Love of All, he’s going to personally assassinate you.

He clicks on the email, noticing it came from a throwaway address. Probably untraceable, if the cards are played right.

The video opens to grainy footage, which is stupid considering modern technological advancements. If this is one more of your stupid LARPing sessions, it could definitely wait till after lunch.

But, he instantly recognises your silhouette strapped to a chair and suddenly the room feels very cold around him. His hand automatically clutches onto a bead from the bracelet you gave him that still remained tied to his left arm more often than not.

“Speak,” someone commands off camera.

“About what?” You sound annoyed, exasperated even.

“Why you’re here.”

“I’m here because you have unaddressed feelings of childhood insecurity.”

“I warned you to take this seriously.”

Bucky’s eyes widen slightly but his body relaxes the minute he reads the situation.

The team’s crowded around him, he can feel it. His attention remains on the screen in front of him.

“Who even are you sending this to?” You don’t sound the least bit threatened. “My roommate’s not at home but my cat is and I don’t think she’d care.”

”You’ve made a complete joke out of villains everywhere. Fraternising with the enemies, the Avengers,” he spits the name with so much vitriol. “You’ve erased what it’s like to be truly evil. Turned us into a laughing stock.”

“If it takes one person to undermine your whole movement then maybe it wasn’t strong enough to begin with.” You look at someone outside the lens, face scrunching in distaste. “Also your costume’s ugly.”

“F.R.I.D.A.Y., can you trace this voice?” Bucky asks, receiving an immediate confirmation. “Figure out who it is.”

“On it.”

“Tell them. Tell them we are a serious threat and are to be feared.”

"No,” you say resolutely. “You’re an overgrown manchild. Go watch Teletubbies or something.”

“She does not give a shit,” Clint marvels at the situation, a piece of half eaten burnt toast between his fingers.

You didn’t. And if he knew you in the slightest, which he prided himself on at this point, you already had six different ways of getting out of there.

“She knows she’s going to be fine,” Bucky murmurs, returning back to take a bite of his pancakes. “She’s probably still there just to irritate him.”

He zeroes in on your wrist to see if the teleportation watch was still there but no, your wrists are bare. Guess you forgot.

“You have to.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s how a real villain does it.”

“A real villain- what are you, gatekeeping the villain community?” You scoff. “You sound like a fuckin’ incel.”

“Just send them a message,” the guy bellows, hitting a table.

“She’s going to frustrate them to death.” An accurate observation, Sam.

“Okay, jeez, fine.”

Bucky just knows that you rolled your eyes at that moment.

He had faith in you, or in your abilities at the very least. While every wisecrack could possibly inch you closer towards harm, you probably wouldn’t be making them unless you felt completely secure in your situation.

“Help, I’m totally kidnapped and in danger. Save me because I can’t do it myself. This man is too powerful and strong and sooo scary.”

“Do you think she has a strategy?”

“Definitely.”

“You’re not worried, James?” Wanda asks curiously. “I thought she was your friend.”

“She is my friend.” He reaches over to take the jug of orange from across the table. “That’s why I’m not worried.”

“Are you going to fight the Avengers?” you interrupt his endless tirade. “Because that’s a stupid plan. You get how that’s a stupid plan, right?”

“Let them come. I’m prepared.”

“With what? A stick you found outside? A Nerf gun? Man, you’ve tied my hands with fuckin’ zip ties, you can’t be serious-”

“Shut up,” he roared and the stand shakes slightly from where he stamps his feet. “Our army is enough.”

“Wow,” you exhale. “I wish I had your confidence, I really do. I want to study you under a microscope.”

“I have reinforcements.” It sounds like he turns to the camera to address it directly. “This is a warning. Your friends have an hour to find you or things are gonna turn ugly. This is what real evil looks like.”

“Evil dresses in a dollar store Speedo, apparently.” The man pays you no heed, instead picking up the camera. “Hey, sarge, if you’re watching this, don’t bother. I’m fine, it’s not even the real me-”

The camera cuts to black.

“When was this video sent?” Nat looks at Marie, eyebrows drawn together.

“About ten minutes ago.”

Bucky clicks out of the email, determined to get at least half his breakfast in him before he left to see what’s up with your situation. A notification pops up immediately.

[email protected] just sent you an email.

A video attachment.

“We got another one,” Bucky informs the team, drawing their attention back to the screen from the informal conversation that had erupted between them about what they could do.

This time, there’s a subject line included.

Attack on the Clone.

"Ain’t that a Star Wars movie?" he asks, craning his neck to look at Clint.

"That's Attack of the Clones," Sam corrects. "Probably autocorrect."

Bucky narrowed his eyes in suspicion at him, jaw sliding outward before falling back into place. Enough times had Sam called him Fucky in the group chat and gotten away with it for him not to be wary.

“Or a code,” Wanda suggests, too many crime thrillers read and podcasts listened in her spare time. She occasionally brought them over to Self Care Saturday, introducing him to the world of true crime as a bit of light content while they snacked on chocolate chip cookies he baked. “Like the Zodiac.”

“For what?” Bucky peers over at her.

“All I remember from that movie is them rolling around a field together,” Clint mutters. “Maybe that’s how you’re supposed to save her.”

“I’m not saving anyone. Look at her, she’s fine.” Is he the only one who saw it?

When he’s met with skeptical looks and no other useful suggestions, he presses play on the video.

This time it's clearer footage. It hardly takes him a second to ascertain where it was.

"That's her lair." It showed the pathway leading up to the flat concrete building, exactly where the intercom should be.

There was a black Sedan parked haphazardly outside, engine still on judging by the sound of the radio blasting an AC/DC song.

Within a few seconds, someone drags you from the entrance of the lair to the car, despite your very clear protests and opposition, shoving you inside before it takes off in full speed, tires screeching.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y., track the car from that video. Check all the CCTV and surveillance footage from around the area that you can find," Bucky commands, taking a sip of orange juice.

"Why would they send us that?" Clint pipes up. "They make their email untraceable but send us a video of the fuckin' abduction itself?"

"I don't know." Bucky shakes his head, setting his glass down. "She probably convinced them to."

It was an unusual scenario, he realised that. But his eyebrows lower in contemplation, his lip caged between his lip before a thought suddenly occurs to him. A laugh in disbelief almost escapes his throat ad he pushes it down with some freshly cut strawberries.

"And they listened?"

"I don't think you realise how annoying she can be." He knows, though. He knows. "Bet they regret it, though. I should tell them to keep her for a little longer."

"Voice recognition registers voice to someone named Chad, better known by his alias Soul Crusher. Surveillance footage places the car about thirty minutes away. Exact location sent to your phone GPS."

Soul Crusher. That was worse than Dr. Strange.

"I can make that fifteen." Bucky shrugs, setting down his fork and knife. If his hunch is right, the team didn’t really have to get involved. “See you guys later.”

“Do you want any of us coming with you?” Wanda gestures to the crowd at hand.

“I got it.” He pushes away from the table, depositing his plate in the sink, dropping an extra piece of bacon on the ground for Clint’s dog. “She’ll be alright.”

They watch him trail out of the room briskly, heading up to his room to change.

“Is it just me or is he too casual about this?” Clint continues staring long after he leaves.

“Both of them are weirdos.” Nat pulls open the newspaper again, going back to the sport’s section. “Who knows what goes in their heads.”

“Can confirm that not a lot goes on in his.”

Without Bucky to retaliate or grumble, a Steve walking into the room, sweaty and shiny after training becomes the new subject of jokes that morning.

For the first time in months, he’s had to bring a weapon or two along with him. Two revolvers and a couple of knives kept out of plain view. He wouldn’t need more than that anyway.

True to his word, it takes only fifteen minutes to get there, thirteen if he didn’t stop for the chain of ducks that crossed the street.

He’s also dressed in a little more leather than he usually reserves for your meetings. A jacket that brings to act as a windbreaker and tightly laced up combat boots make him look like he either stepped off a runway, or more menacing than usual depending on who was looking.

The GPS points him to an old warehouse near a more subdued part of the city. It was abandoned by the looks of it, and had been for a while judging by the lack of upkeep. Prime real estate.

He pulls off his helmet, hanging it on the handlebar along with his backpack before kicking the stand into place. The bike’s a few metres away just in case they decide to blow something up.

Bucky looks up at the warehouse, assessing the most damage he could do to it if at all it was needed. That thing could barely stand on its own, a grenade would absolutely decimate it. That wasn’t good news for you.

He sighs once before putting on his death glare, straightening out his shoulders into a stature that screams stone-cold, and pushes the door open, gun raised.

A mini-army of people ranging from their early twenties to late thirties stood guard at the entrance, all with rifles pointed at him. He counts fifteen, maybe eighteen.

“Oh, hell no,” a voice erupts from the back, followed by the sound of his gun being thrown to the ground. “No one told me that he was coming.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow, his death glare not shifting and Glock not lowering.

“I’m out.” The same guy raises his hands up to show he meant no harm, slowly brushing past Bucky as he squeezed out of the building.

“You got five seconds to leave before I shut this door,” Bucky gives the rest of them an ultimatum. Not like there was a point anyway. SHIELD was sending down some people to account for the one day rise in new morons.

They all looked at each other, swallowing thickly before raising their weapons.

“I hope he’s giving you good insurance.” The second he finishes his sentence they all cry out in what sounds like a fucking war chant, launching themselves at him.

______

“They’re here.” Someone presses his ear to the door as if the gunshots and screaming weren’t enough.

“Brilliant. We’re ready.” Chad picks up the knife, running his finger along the sharp end. You try to see if you can use your Twitter-ordained powers of manifestation for a paper cut.

“How much are you asking them for?” You put forth a query instead, when it disappointingly doesn’t work.

“Asking who for what?” Chad stops his dumb intimidation tactic for a second.

“You know,” you insist like it was obvious, “my ransom. How much did you ask them to pay?”

“We didn’t-” He looks around at the other people in the room for confirmation. “-we didn’t ask for any.”

“Because I’m invaluable?” Your head droops to the side in mock flattery. “Aw, you guys.”

“We didn’t think of it,” someone from the corner behind you speaks up, coming to the aid of their boss.

“Now that’s just rude.” You tut, shifting maybe an inch or two in your bounds to try and get more comfortable. “Leaving aside your lack of preparation, let’s just assume he bursts in here, desperate and ready to bargain. How much would you ask for?”

“Three million,” Chad says confidently, gathering a nod and sounds of agreement from everyone else.

“Are you serious?” Your jaw drops, a scoff escaping you. “That’s all?”

His self-assurance falters a little bit, you can see it under his 5 Minutes Craft mask.

“Three mill-” You stop mid-sentence. “With this wiring? Ridiculous. Make it ten, I demand it.”

“We’ll ask for fifteen mil,” Chad proposes, his teammates agreeing again, a little more delighted than last time.

“Ask for thirty, you coward,” you argued. “Thirty million and a jet.”

“You’re not worth that much.” The dipshit diagonal to you pipes up with his unwanted and, frankly, useless opinion.

“And you are?” You whip around the best you can. “Henchman number four?”

“Megedagik,” he informs, standing up a little taller now that he was given some importance. “It means ‘killer of many’.”

“Did you just say your name was Mega Dick?”

“Megedagik,” he corrects.

You stare at him hard before turning away. “Alright, other than Mega Dick here, does anyo-”

A knife lands right next to your feet, driven at least an inch into the ground. You look up at the guy you managed to piss off within four sentences, his face now a beet red.

“These are brand new, asshole,” you barked, shaking your shoes around. “You’re gonna pay if there’s even a scratch on it.”

“Permission to kill her?” Meg growls, casting a side eye at Chad.

The boss man looks at you thoughtfully, assessing the repercussions of what might happen. You raise an eyebrow.

“Slow and painful,” he settles.

A small smirk makes its way onto your face.

“Title of your sex tape,” you quip as the man in the corner storms towards you.

_____

It’s all a flurry, really. A bunch of inexperienced newcomers versus one of the most skilled assassins the world had ever seen? Ten minutes tops.

Bucky doesn’t do any serious damage. A couple of broken bones but only out of necessity, a lot of concussions, and maybe a bullet wound, or three, here and there.

Most of the time he spends thinking about things that have absolutely nothing to do with what was going on. He forgot to take his laundry out of the machine. There was a biscotti recipe he had been procrastinating on trying. His succulents needed watering but he could do that once he was back. Was he wearing his good combat pants or was it the pair that had a hole in the pocket?

His left hand thrust outwards to shove someone away while he stuck his right hand into his pocket to check if it had frayed away. The person he pushed slams into a wall with a loud groan and no, his pants didn’t have a hole in them.

He stops to take a breather, assess what was going on. There are bodies scattered all around, mostly writhing in pain from minor injuries. Someone very bravely stands up, hands posed in front of him in a regular fighting stance.

“You sure about this?” Bucky asks, reaching for one of the concealed knives he hadn’t had a chance of using yet. It twirls rather nimbly between his fingers for something so dangerous, the hilt finally landing in his palm for a sturdy grip.

The man takes one look at the knife before sitting right back down on the ground.

“Good choice,” his voice drops to an octave lower than his self-esteem. He’s tired of this old routine but it works like a neat little party trick, often getting him the result he wanted. “Where?”

A few fingers point down the hall to the only room whose door was closed.

He makes sure to step over everyone who was lying along the way, ears tuned in to even the smallest of noises just in case one of them decided to attack him from the back. It doesn’t come.

He doesn’t bother creeping down the hallway. With all the ruckus that just went on outside, he’s pretty sure it’s obvious that they had an intruder.

Bucky kicks in the large steel door with ease, given that it was barely hanging on its hinges. His gun’s raised, muscles tight, and senses on high alert for any immediate threats.

It lands with a large thud, reverberating through the room. He’s reminded of your first meeting with him.

There’s a chair in the middle of the room with a person tied to it by a mixture of rope and tape. Others found themselves slithering around on the floor in a similar fashion, trying to get out of their bondages.

“Hey, James,” you call out, drawing his attention to you. You were sitting atop a table, legs swinging back and forth without a care in the world, a blade in your hand.

“You okay?” He tucks the gun into his waistband when he realises that none of the henchmen are going to be going anywhere soon.

“All good.” You hop off the table with a little spring in your step. “Did you bring your bike? I need a ride back to the lair. I think I left the TV on when I was, you know, getting kidnapped.”

“You coulda teleported back home before all of this even happened.” Bucky does a quick assessment of your body to make sure there weren’t any bruises or anything of the sort. “Avoided the whole thing.”

“Don’t have the watch with me.” Odd, since he knows you consider it one of your essentials but it just fuels his theory further. “Besides, if I just quit before we started, they’d keep messing with me over and over again.”

“Do you want me to punch someone’s face in?” He glances around the room at the ones wiggling about on the floor like fucking worms. “I’d be happy to.”

“Nah, I got a few in myself.” You rotate your wrist, other hand still holding onto the knife. “You know what, maybe I’ll have another go.”

He simply makes a noise in acknowledgement before he places a hand on the hem of your shirt, gently reeling you back. “I think you fixed ‘em up real good. That’s enough for today.”

“Fine but only ‘cause you said so.” You huff, looking past him and at the weirdos on the ground. “You hear that? This man just saved your life. Say ‘thank you’.”

A muffled chorus of what sounded like appreciation echoed through the room. Bucky awkwardly looks around.

“Damn right.” You walk over to the guy in charge of the whole event, bending down to his level. “If you ever try to fuck with us again...”

You stare straight into his eyes, unblinking. You hold up the knife to his Adam’s apple. Chad doesn’t dare to move other than the thick swallow.

You raise your finger and flick him in the forehead. “Get a better costume.”

The corner of Bucky’s lip quirks upward.

“Let’s go, sarge,” you announce, standing upright again and making a motion to follow you. “D’you have an extra helmet I could use?”

“Yeah.” He had brought one along in his bag, assuming that you’d need one once he noticed the watch was missing in the footage.

“Yay.”

The only storage space on his bike was under his seat and it’s just enough for an extra revolver. Clint asked him if it was his way of flirting with someone, give ‘em a quick spin around the city and then show them his gun. If looks could kill, Clint would be 7 feet under.

“You sure you wanna ride it, though?” He cringes immediately when he realises what it sounds like, waiting for you to smack the innuendo in his face. “We could wait for SHIELD.”

“Don’t really have another choice, Bucky,” you say absentmindedly, strolling out the room as you tossed the knife behind you.

He frowns at your indifference but turns around for a second to look at Chad. The man in question looks back viciously, his grandeur from that morning basically deflated and left to die along with his reputation.

“Might wanna reconsider the name,” Bucky remarks, doing a quick sweep of the area once more. “Soul Crusher.”

He waits until both of you are outside the cell and the door is shut on the ringleader and his circus clowns, handlebar twisted out of place so that they don’t escape for the time being.

“One second,” he calls, touch gently lingering on your forearm to stop you without even thinking twice about it. A famously uncharacteristic move for him.

"Hm?” You don’t even look like you notice his action.

“You sure you’re good?” he asks seriously, actual concern slipping through the question. “Do you need medical assistance?”

“They couldn’t hurt me anyway.” There’s something strange about the way you say it, almost assuredly. “I’m good.”

“Okay,” he concedes, his hand darting back when he realises it was still on your arm. His eyebrows furrow when he realises how instinctively he had reached out in the first place. He didn’t touch anyone, ever.

“What are we gonna do about them?” you inquire, stepping over someone on the floor to get to the exit.

“Marie told Agent Hill. They’re sending someone over.”

“They’re sending SHIELD for these wannabes?” Someone groans in protest from somewhere and you elect to ignore them. ��Ew.”

“Just to make sure confidential information isn’t compromised in any way.” There’s a large bang that comes from the room they just left. Maybe one of them shot their teammate by accident. They were more than capable of doing it.

“I would never,” you exacted a little more solemnly, pushing the door open with your elbow to let the sunlight flood in.

“I know.” He doesn’t realise how dark it was in the warehouse until he steps out into the noon sun. “I’m pretty sure this is more about the fact that you were abducted.”

“For me?” The smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes the way he kinda likes. Something definitely felt off. “I love being class favourite.”

He doesn’t reply, a small grunt as he twists the handle of the warehouse door upwards, effectively jamming it.

“Can I drive?” You bat your eyelashes at him innocently, disregarding the loud screaming that came from inside as those less injured probably regrouped for a last ditch attempt.

“No,” he doesn’t hesitate in replying, handing you a helmet and buckling his own securely.

“But I just got kidnapped,” you complained, watching him swing a leg over the bike and straddle it. Okay then.

“All the more reason for you not to drive right now.” He mentions for you to get on, squinting at the warehouse a few feet away.

“Fine, but next time I’m driving,” you grumble, climbing on the back.

“Do you even know how to?” His head is tilted to look at you from the corner of his eye, voice heavier on account of the obstruction on his face.

The door starts shaking violently and he knows for a fact that it won’t hold up for much longer. Some of those who he had knocked out probably had been shaken awake again for manpower.

“I can learn.” You take a pause, mischief seeping into your next words. “You can teach me.”

“No.” He didn’t exactly practice what was considered safe, law abiding driving. He just got from one point to another and that’s all he cared about.

“Then I’ll do it myself.” You sound determined. “I’m going to leave a note for us in the lair.”

“You do that.” He revs the engine when something solid hits the metal door. As guessed, their usage of props to push it down faster was coming into play. “Now, can you hold on to something? We need to go.”

If only those idiots just realised that the windows covered by newspapers were right there, ready to be broken.

“Only if you promise to let me drive next time,” you say defiantly, drawing this whole ordeal out.

“Whatever,” he urges. “I promise. Now can we go?”

“Wait for it...” There’s a devilish smile on your face. “One.”

There’s a loud creak as the door finally gives way.

“Two.” The same people you left tied up in the room burst out, almost stumbling over each other in the process.

“Three,” he completes it on his own, not waiting for you to finish because God knows how long you’d stretch it out just for the drama.

Your excited screech of laughter as he narrowly misses a rod that gets thrown at him like a fucking javelin temporarily distracts him from the brain freeze he gets when your arms wind around his waist to hold yourself in place.

There’s angry screaming and bullets that whiz past in an attempt to get him to stop but a swift turn around a corner, pulling the both of you out of their sight is enough to get rid of them.

“We should get a few weapons and go back,” you yell over the wind rushing by, barely audible.

“You do that in your own free time,” he shouts in response, yanking you through narrower lanes and less popular streets.

“Maybe I will, you bore.”

Still, you shut up for the rest of the ride, only grumbling when he stops the bike to tell you that no, you cannot let go just because you want to throw your hands in the air like in the movies.

You hop off when he finally pulls up on the street outside your lair, adrenaline still pumping through your veins. He waits patiently as you unbuckle the helmet, switching off the engine.

“You gonna drop me off at my door too, now?” You snicker, fingers pulling off the helmet.

He looks at you for a second before dropping the kickstand into place and dismounting from the motorcycle.

“I was kidding.” You laugh, handing him your headgear that he shoves into his backpack.

“You’re pretty capable of gettin’ abducted along the way.” An absurd notion, considering it’s a short path from the road to the door.

“Oh, how chivalrous.” You let him tag along anyway, for his peace of mind.

“My ma didn’t expect any less.” A couple of sharp lessons from Winifred Barnes and Bucky was nothing short of a damn angel.

You knock on the door three times, crossing your arms over your chest as you waited.

“Aren’t you the one with the key?” Bucky questions, one hand on his waist.

The door swung open in the middle of his sentence revealing... you.

Another you.

“Nah, she has it.” Ex-Kidnapped-You raises your head in acknowledgement at Doorway-You.

“Ah.” He fucking knew it. An unnatural sense of smugness blossoms in his chest.

“Hey,” the both of you said at the same time.

Doorway-You looked way more relaxed, a little less grimy and dishevelled but exactly the same.

“Buck, I see you met my other half,” the you from the doorway greets him. “Or other whole, actually.”

“Sure did.” He sends a glance at Ex-Kidnapped-You.

“You can go on in. Big first day, huh?” Doorway-You refers to the you beside him.

“You wouldn’t believe,” Ex-Kidnaped-You mutters, pushing past the entrance and disappearing inside.

��She gonna be okay?” His gaze trails after your clone.

“Oh yeah, just needs to recharge.” You turn around to make sure she’s fine. “She’s made of some pretty strong carbon, technically almost indestructible.”

No wonder ‘you’ said they couldn’t hurt you.

“Heya, sarge.” You draw his attention back to you. “Always good to see you.”

“Can’t really say the same about you.”

“Ever the emotional repressor, Mr Barnes. I like this little leather show you got going, did ya wear it just for me?”

He shifts his balance to his other foot, feet slightly wide apart. “Take it that the clone machine finally worked?”

“I was in the middle of celebrating.” You sigh, recalling the events of that morning. “Teleported home for a second to get some champagne and when I came back she was gone.”

“Irresponsible.” He tsks, head shaking in disappointment.

“Sorry I didn’t take amateur kidnappers into account for my risk factor analysis, Bucky,” you shoot back, pressing on his name for added annoyance. “Anyway, I did the responsible thing. I sent all the evidence I had to you guys.”

“Real clever.” Bucky looks at you in dry amusement. “Attack on the clone? Really?”

“Hey, always make time for a good pun.” You finger gun, lopsided grin on your face. “Did the team like it?”

“They thought it was a typo.” Or a code. He really had Wanda to thank for his big revelation. “Your video didn’t help either.”

“Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.” You laugh, crossing your arms over your chest.

He doesn’t reply, pursing his lip inwards in sympathy, but more so to conceal a smile.

The happiness drops from your face slowly, horror taking its place. “Don’t tell me they couldn’t make out it was me.”

“Good job, your machine worked,” he adds helpfully.

“C’mon, there were so many differences,” you whine, the success of your endeavour the last thing on your mind.

“That is your literal clone,” he points out, only to see you- clone you- walk into the giant box in the corner of the room, bright green light emanating from it like a xerox machine.

“How could they not tell the original apart from a copy?” You look genuinely offended. Insane. “Not even Sam?”

“Guess you’re not unique enough.” A rise and fall of his shoulders signify his attitude towards this whole thing. “Think I like your copy better, too, actually.”

“You’re so mean.” You puff in disbelief. “I’m a 100% original. How many mad scientist teachers do you know?”

“Two.”

“I don’t mean now, that’s not even the-” You poke at his rock hard chest. “You are so much more annoying than when I first met you.”

He thinks it’s good relationship development.

“I have to deal with you every weekend.” He watches your finger drop from his chest. “Picked it up along the way.”

“Boo hoo, talking like you don’t have deep, deep feelings for me.” You roll your eyes. “I see right through you, Bucky Barnes.”

“Can you see the part that couldn’t give less of a shit?” He gestures to himself. “It’s all of it.”

“You think you’re such a comedian, huh?” You narrow your eyebrows. “How did you know she was a fake then, huh?”

Busted.

“Probably ‘cause you didn’t talk as much today,” he dodges. “Actually had some peace of mind for a change.”

“You knew before you got there, you liar.” You push past his fabrications. “You figured it out before everyone else.”

“You literally put it in the title.”

“Yeah, but the rest of the team saw it too.”

“Rest of the team didn’t know you were building a goddamn clone machine for months.”

“You remembered that?” You pulled away, palm over your heart. “Oh, sarge, you paid attention to me.”

His nose twitches.

“You said it, like, eight hundred times.” He could use both his hands to count the number of references you had offhandedly made in the last three weeks alone.

“Why'd you go save me when you knew it wasn't real?” you continue to challenge relentlessly, knowing fully well that he was fibbing.

“Because you fuckin’ peer pressured me. Had the whole team around me when you sent your little video during breakfast.”

“Just admit it,” you coo, ignoring all his justifications. “You noticed it was fake me right away but showed up anyway because you’re wildly in love with me.”

“No,” he says stiffly.

“No as in you won’t admit it you have a crush on me, or no as in you didn’t know it was fake me?”

There was no winning this.

“Good day to you.” He pulls the motorcycle helmet on to hide the expression that plain as day screamed the former of your two options.

“Also,” you bring up indignantly, “she even got to ride the fucking bike and I’ve been asking to drive it for months now!”

“We-” he chooses his words carefully. “-compromised.”

“Oh, you did?” Your voice lowers at the newfound information, interest piqued. “I’m gonna hold you to that then, whatever it is.”

“Doesn’t count.”

“Absolutely does,” you huff. “A promise is legally binding. Blue’s Clues taught me that.”

“Bye, Y/N.”

“You’re my knight in leathery armour,” you swoon, switching sides immediately, “Kinda.”

“See you next week,” he says in farewell, determined to leave before you made it worse. “Try not to get killed by then.”

“Why, so you can do it yourself? Protective much?” You pull him back when he starts walking away, laughing slightly. “Wait a second, you weirdo.”

He sighs, staying put anyway, arms crossed impatiently over his chest.

You pull out the pen tucked behind your ear and slowly tap him twice on each shoulder in a makeshift knighting ceremony. “For your sacrifice.”

He rolls his eyes at the ludicrousness, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth.

You ignore his lack of enthusiasm, pressing your fingertips to your lips in a small kiss and then to his nose, given that it was the only part of his face you had access to.

“That was for your bravery.” You grin brightly at him and he sure as hell is glad he’s wearing the stupid helmet because he can feel his cheeks light up a bright crimson.

“Thanks.” His voice sounds gruffer than a second ago. He clears his throat.

“Now you’re my knight in leathery armour,” you fawn, nearly falling over yourself dramatically. “Let’s ride into the sunset together. I love you.”

“You’re ridiculous,” he calls out over his shoulder, turning away to return to his bike. “I despise you.”

“But you don’t.”

He really didn’t.

also i managed to fuck my phone up really bad so all proceeds from my ko-fi go towards getting it fixed

Next part

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #mcu fic #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky angst #bucky barnes angst #harmless fic #winter soldier x reader #Winter Soldier #bucky barnes #bucky

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that-bajan-kid · 5 years ago

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Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 293 SPOILERS

(These children used their one collective brain cell and decided to rush head first into the arms of Death with zero fucks given)

Oh that orange hair is not a good look on Shiggy. Izuku looks adorable in anything I can't argue.

We get an adorable panel of Eri eating a cracker/cookie next Lemillion bursting forth from the ground once more. Izuku ask him how he's here rn and apparently this boy has just been chilling at Nighteye's agency, which is conveniently not to far from here. He had to of had his quirk for a while now if he was at the agency right?

Omg look at Eri!! She's so cute I literally have to point her out whenever she's on screen. I don't make the rules here, that's just how it is. And Ochako is doing her hair!!!! I'm gonna explode from the cuteness. And all that other stuff they're talking about is important to I guess.

SHE'S SO FUCKING CUTE I LITERALLY CAN NOT

They're all babies. She looks so happy to help out too. The little bounce she does when she looks back at Dadzawa for permission. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

Mirio is asking for back up cause even he can't take on 4 NHEs by himself. So of course Bakugou, with the two holes in his abdomen, leaps in to action even tho he really shouldn't. I swear these kids are all suicidal.

THESE FUCKING KIDS AND THEIR LACK OF SELF PRESERVATION IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME I SWEAR. Also, I believe the time is now upon us my brothers and sisters.

(Edit: I just realised I've been spelling his fucking name wrong this whole time. My brain just autocorrected it to the proper spelling and I didn't even noticed lmao. Please forgive me.)

Of course Spinner thinks it's cool. IS JEANIST FUCKING CRYING LMAO

I like it. It's very Katsuki Bakugou and not nearly as bad as the first two. You go, Dynamite. Man, I can't wait to see the fandom's reaction to this. How many people are gonna throw a tantrum cause its not Ground Zero? Or fucking Kacchan?

Mirio says he thinks it's funny and Dynamite says it's not meant to be funny. Mirio quotes Nighteye speech about there being laughter and you to balance out the sorrow and apologises for the absolute disrespect he just showed my son's new hero name.

Enji, sweetheart, I know your in shock about your dead son not being dead and that you're literally on death's door, but Shouto is going to fucking die if you don't move your ass. I'm not mad and I understand why you're not doing anything right now. But, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, i would sacrifice you in a heartbeat if it meant saving Shouto's life. Don't get me wrong, I like your character a lot, but you dying would be a nice end to your redemption arc if you end up saving Shouto. And at this point I honestly don't care about what happens to Dabi. He's trying to kill my son. Fuck that guy lol. Doesn't mean I don't like him tho.

Why are people defending this guy again? Cause of his trauma? Don't get me wrong, I like Dabi as much as the next guy but if his death means Shouto gets to live, I don't have a problem with that either. Dabi and Enji are in the same boat.

My boi Deku coming in clutch with Black Whip even tho he really shouldn't be to save his best friend. Dabi's gonna try to burn him too, I can feel it coming. Also Izuku is thinking about how his arms and legs don't have any strength like that's the only thing wrong with them. He'd be lucky if he can even move them when all of this is over.

"Don't put this in a Doujin" I am deceased. Cris is no longer among the living. She has ascended to the heavens. Who ever this translater is, they're doing God's work. I can't wait to see the discourse about Izuku's speech in the tags. I can already hear the "Izuku is defending Endeawhore therefore he supports abuse #canceldeku2020" posts in my head. Anyway, I like what Izu says here tho, it's very much in character for him. I also like his Froppy inspired Black Whip: Projectile Vomit Mode. Very unexpected tbh.

Izuku yells "You are not Endeavour" and Dabi responds with "No shit, Sherlock" and asks if Izuku pities him even a little bit and I wouldn't fault him for straight up saying "No" considering everything Dabi has put him and his friends through. Hell, if I was Midoriya I wouldn't even be trying to get through to him rn. A trait I strongly admire about Izuku. Dabi goes on to say he is the culmination of all of Endeavour's sins and we get a panel showing threads snapping and I don't know if it's supposed to be what's left of Izuku's mental stability or Dabi's. Or if it's an actual thread snapping. Dabi goes on to spout some bullshit about how evil will never prosper and justice will crumble now that he's shown the naive citizens of Japan who to blame, which is the heroes apparently.

Uhhh so that snapping thread I mentioned earlier is actually the carbon fibre wire Jeanist is using to keep Machia contained and like all of them just snapped like twigs. Dabi continues his speech about how chaos now reigns supreme while everyone panics about Machia. Meanwhile Deku is having a moment.

Correction, Endeavour was the one having a moment and has decided to take action despite his obvious condition called dying. He rockets his way towards Machia and bitch slaps him in the face and immediately follows that up by saying he feels numb. He totally gonna die and I'm totally gonna feel sad about it. I'm already tearing up.

FUCKING FINALLY GOD DAMNIT

I knew it was gonna work. Never doubt my gurl Creati. She's the smartest kid in class for a reason. It feels like it took forever but it was probably only a few mins. I can't wait for everything to go wrong again. Also, everyone who thinks Endeavour is either going to die or, end up with a debilitating disability, raise your hand 🙋. Mans suffering from the most severe case of heat stroke to ever stroke and is running on burnt lungs and he was impaled by Shigaraki/AFO. He's not having a fun time.

I think it's safe to say that Eri won't healing anyone after this. It looks like all her quirks energy went into giving Mirio his quirk. Meaning all these injuries that the heroes are getting won't be magically disappearing. Aizawa isn't getting his leg back, Izuku's arms are probably never gonna work again, Gran Torino is fucking dead just like Endeavour's career, and Endeavour is probably gonna fucking die too. Cause Shouto doesn't have enough trauma in his life.

Time for me to venture into the tags and see what the latest discourse is. Can't wait for everyone to call Izuku an abuser sympathiser even tho he called out Endeavour during the sports, or say that the heroes are somehow abusing Eri like Overhaul did cause she gave Mirio his quirk back even tho she clearly wanted to do it. The chaos fuels me.

Until next time.

#boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia spoilers #bnha #bnha spoilers #bnha manga #bnha manga spoilers #bnha 293 #im so glad momo's plan worked #im so proud of her

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dumbass-mha-simp · 5 years ago

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Hawks x Reader

This is very self indulgent tbh. Mostly gender neutral but does mention make up. Also the reader has mega family trauma cuz same.

Warnings: mentions of food, alcohol, reader is drunk but keigo is vv respectful & doesn't try anything, reader doesn't talk to their family, past family abuse, reader is kinda mean to him at first

I wrote this at like 4am and my phone is wonky and keeps autocorrecting "you" to "he" for no reason but i did like one quick pass through before posting so hopefully it's good enough, this is probably one of the first times I've actually published my fanfiction so hopefully it ain't shit,

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For the last couple months you've been teasing him. Practically any other girl in your position would swoon in your position. But where's the fun in letting him get what he wants so quick?

Pro Hero Hawks, had seemingly everyone wrapped around his finger. With eyes pierced in deep gold and, blazing, ruby red wings, it's hard for anyone to not be attracted to him.

You stood in the back corner of a "special hero party," trying to discern if you should sneak out and do anything more interesting than standing with a bunch of other heros.

"Hello there, beautiful." A thick and sweet voice called as you turned your head to them. "Looking lonely all alone back here, let me join?" Hawks, the number two hero was offering to stand with you. Staying it is I suppose.

"I admire your work, you're really dedicated kid. I like watching your stuff." He says taking a slow sip of his drink.

"You? You watch me?" The disbelief of it rung through in sarcasm. How were you to expect someone like him watched your work. You continued sipping from your drink, even if it was a boring party there was free fancy alcohol and that's all a hero could ever need.

"I wanna see more of you, and not just on the screen or anything. I want to get to know you, you know, maybe take you out a bit, hottie." He uses his middle finger to gently lift your chin up.

"And why do you think I'd immediately just accept some date from a guy I've never even talked to?" You dryly laugh out taking another sip.

"C'mon pretty thing, you know me. Your friendly neighborhood Hawks. The hottest, and most loved person you'll ever meet."

"Ah that's what you are, the hot, amazing, charming, hero to any and all." You scoffed

"The one and only."

You spent the rest of the night either playing hard to get, or annoyed at him. You couldn't exactly tell.

This carried on for months, every event you attended, he was right there on your heels like an abandoned, clingy puppy. He's even started patrolling with you.

"Say when are you gonna quit and just accept a date dollie?" He charmed up behind you.

"I'm at work, Hawks." Your boots cracked on the wet pavement as the last bits of rain desperately clung to the air.

"Why do you play so hard to get?" He questioned in a more serious tone. He was genuinely curious about you. "Most people would kill to have me begging for them, let alone after giving me to cold shoulder so many times." You could hear the upturn in his lips as he spoke.

"Why do you happen to find me the one person worth going for?" You retorted back.

"You interest me. There's very few people I'm genuinely curious about, but one of them's you, kid." He looked up into your eyes from the street. Something you'd never thought you'd see in Hawks' eyes was sincerity over such a topic. He genuinely wanted to know you.

".........Let's just say letting people in isn't my forte." You say quickly but with a slight hint of pain. You begin to walk off again and he doesn't question. He doesn't push you to tell him why. But you could see the way he processes your words on his face.

A bar, on a Thursday night, alone. How pathetic of you. Luckily you had no work tomorrow, a big mission the week before let them cut a couple weekends longer. As you downed your refill you questioned how many you've had.

"How long have I been here?" You whispered slightly to yourself before bringing it to your lips.

The warm rush reflow through your body as you let yourself fall to it. The bartender looked at you from the corner of his eye.

"I'm cutting you off for the night." He looks earnestly at you.

"Now that's not very nice there." You laugh back at him.

You pull out your phone and attempt to call some friends but lucky enough for you, you chose a night they were all at work to recklessly get drunk in the middle of the city. The only other contact you could think of was Hawks.

There's no way he'll pick up. He's gotta be busy. I could find literally anyone else to do it. You mutter in your brain as you go into his contact and start a call.

It rings twice before his voice calls out to you. "Hey this is hawks. ... (Y/h/n), are you there?"

Okay act cool and sober. "Heeeeyyy bird." Shit.

You could practically feel his shit eating grin across the phone. "You in need of a hero babe?"

"Can you please pick me up?" A whine took over your voice. You hated being drunk in front of people like him. That soft affectionate side seems to burst its way out when the alcohol takes control.

"Tell me where you are birdie." He said as you heard some ruffling. "(Bar name idk)." You rough out tiredly.

"Be right there angel." He called before hanging up.

You put the phone down on the counter and groaned. Why him? You try so hard to make sure you don't fall for people. They always end up like the last. You feel like they stop caring once they really meet you. Like they don't want the cake after the first bite.

Used, alone, and forgotten. It's a stabbing feeling that your used to. A feeling of burning heaviness in your stomach.

You sit slumped down onto the bar contemplating your feelings for the winged hero for awhile. Why can't emotions just be controlled?

"Hey-o!" You heard a voice from behind you break through the thoughts corrupting your mind. Hawks smiled and thanked the bartender before reaching his arms around you and helping you off the stool.

I didn't know he could be so gentle..

He walked you out the door and held your arms softly, but supportedly as he looked you in the face. "I'm gonna fly us okay? Don't wriggle to much." With that he picks you up and starts beating his wings.

"Hawks?" You call slurred and quiet.

"Yeah, kid?" He glances down at you with a light smile.

"What's your real name?"

"Well why would I tell you that when you refuse to tell me yours so often?" He chuckled.

"(Y/n) (y/l/n)"

"W..what?"

"My name. It's (Y/n) (y/l/n)." You replied back.

You could see the confusion of your open demeanor. But there was something else in his eyes. Something you couldn't put your finger on.

"Soooooooo....." you trailed off with a smile.

"Keigo Takami." He chortled at your ridiculous smile.

"That's a lot prettier than I thought it would be." You stared into his face. How could anyone not find him attractive. The perfect mix of facial hair, jawline, that dumb grin that was insanely attractive, those eyes that were the perfect gold.

"You're gorgeous, Keigo." You whisper more to yourself than him.

"And you apparently drank a lot more than I suspected." He tried to brush off but you could feel a bit more heat from his face.

"Here it is." He lands gingerly and places you down on the ground, wrapping his arm under your shoulder and holding onto the small of your back. "Let's get you in bed."

"Have you eaten today?" He calls after setting you on the couch and going to the kitchen to get you some water. You shake your head and he looks a little concerned but doesn't push it. He hasn't either so late take out it is.

"What do you want?" He looks to you above the old paper menu he has saved from a place not to far from here. "Cuddles." You pout looking through your phone.

"I meant for dinner (y/n)." He laughs at you. "Oooh that makes sense." You laugh too, "anything with noodles and shrimp, I reaaaaally like shrimp." You smile at him wholesomely as he looks at you with the same missing thing as earlier in his eyes.

He orders for the both of you then takes you to the bathroom and sits you on the counter with your bag. "Makeup remover?" He asked placing your bag on your lap. You pull out some individual wipes as he gentle pulls them from your fingers and moves the bag to the side.

He softly wipes at your face as you close your eyes and focus on the feeling of his hands. After wiping the makeup off he wipes down your face with water to make sure there's no remover left either.

"Beautiful. Now do you want to go watch something while we wait for the food?"

His eyes gleamed at you and it filled you with that feeling of admiration. He was being so considerate and kind. Nothing like you imagined. You were safe. Safe here with him by your side.

You placed a kiss to his cheek.

"(Y/nn)," he closed his eyes softly taking in the tingle of where your lips pressed. "You're drunk off your ass, baby. Lets get you fed and in bed, dear." You nod tiredly as he pulls you down from the counter.

You sit back down on his couch as he answers the door and takes the food. "Someone order shrimp?"

"Oooo!" You clap your hands rapidly and look to him excitedly. He giggles at you and hands you the food.

You sit and eat together. Talking about whatever comes to mind first and building on from wherever it wandered.

"So, what's your family like?" He asked innocently enough. "Eh." You brushed off. A subject you never liked was family.

"I get that." He tried to laugh but it seemed forced. "I was born with two parents and couldn't get a single one to even care about me." You laughed to him.

"Do you talk to them?" He looks like he wants your answer. Like he cares about what you say.

"I try not to. I cut them off when I was a teen, everyone blamed it on me being a dumb rebellious kid. No one ever tried to see what happened in those walls." You trailed off.

"Were you hurt?" He tilts his head as concern covers his features. "That's an understatement." You force a smile back at him and take a bite.

"I...I think I kinda understand what you feel in a way." You meet his eyes as they lazily traveled to the floor. His thoughts stiring from behind his pupils.

"No parent buddies?" You put out your hand for a fist bump. He laughs and fist bumps you, "Yeah, no parent buddies."

You lean a bit closer to him. "I'm sorry you were hurt. They didn't deserve the control they had over you." You went a bit more serious as you draw your eyes up to him.

"Im sorry for you too." He breathed out to you. "Now let's get you in bed." A smile took over as he moved your empty food package onto the table and picked you up.

"PUT ME DOWN KEIGO!" You laugh and softly hit your hands against him. He laughs with you then throws you onto the bed.

"Why am I on the bed?" You frown. "Why wouldn't you be?" He looks as he places your water on the night stand next to you.

"It's your bed."

"And I get to choose who sleeps in it."

He places a feather-light kiss on your temples then goes to the door.

"Keigo-" he turns, "cuddle me?"

"I'll clean up and be back here soon okay?" He smiles at you. "Okay"

After twenty minutes of struggling to keep yourself up you feel a weight press into the mattress, keeping some distance.

You roll up next to him and wrap yourself around him.

"Sweet dreams Keigo."

"Goodnight, (y/n)."

And there he was when you woke up. Right beside you. After awhile you got used to seeing his face when you woke up. Always being able to see the look in his eyes you tried so hard to put your finger on. The lovestruck stupid he was for you.

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taronunwin · 6 years ago

Text

My thoughts on the Game of Thrones finale that no one asked for and pretty much a script of my perfect ending.

Honestly I’m so much happier after writing this and I can move on with my life now.

PLEASE NOTE: I’ve been watching GoT for like 4 months now and I know that probably most of the names below are misspelled as I know how they sound but not how they’re spelled exactly. Please forgive me. I’m literally too lazy to spell-check every word and name from the show. Please autocorrect them in your mind ;)

So my fear going into this episode was that Jon was going to die, or come very close. To some extent, yes I’m very pleased that he didn’t but the ending was still incredibly unsatisfying for his character. Why build up all the King of the North/True Heir to the Iron Throne/Prince that was Promised stuff only to have him go back to where he ‘came from’ and be a nobody at the wall? I saw someone say that he rejected it and became a Wildling with them. I dunno about that, I took that last scene as Jon helping to return the Wildlings to their land and help them resettle before returning to the Watch. Maybe, maybe not. Either way, incredibly unsatisfying with no real explanation of what that last scene meant for him.

Here’s what I really hoped would happen, in a perfect world where I wanted some tragedy but also a good ending for Jon:

Excluding what I would change in the rest of season 8, the one major thing I would change is that Jon kills the Night King. Obviousfreakingly. He wasn’t on a dragon the whole time, he was in the trenches with his men. Epic battle, some explanation for who the Night King was and what the motives were (and I love the headcanon that Bran was in fact the Night King but I’m going to ignore that for this), and a satisfying end to that really cool storyline. After that, Jon is even more loved by the people and hailed as the hero who saved Westeros. Dany continues being jealous of the love they have for him and trying to convince him to hide his identity. The rest happens as it happens because I don’t have the energy to change everything else, haha.

At the finale, after talking to Tyrion, Jon is terribly torn. He can’t reconcile what Dany did at all and he’s struggling to figure out his next step. He goes to the throne room and talks to Dany as he did but instead of giving the ‘You are my Queen’ thing with the kiss and what happened next, he says, “I can’t stand beside someone who would slaughter an entire city because of their ruler’s choices. Dany, I beg you. Offer mercy now and lead with kindness and justice, not fire and blood.”

Daenerys cooly steps back, hearing an unspoken ‘or I will be forced to take my rightful place’, and calls for her soldiers. Jon doesn’t fight, he knows he’s signed his death warrant by opposing her while his lineage makes him more of a threat now than ever, and he’s taken outside. The remaining terrified people left in the city are gathered, the Unsullied, Dothraki, and remaining Northmen stand nearby. Jon is brought to the same place that Ned was beheaded and forced to his knees. Dany assumes that Jon has enough Targaryen in him to be fireproof so Drogon isn’t called.

We see Arya in the distance. Her eyes widen in horror. She was waiting at the city gates for Jon but knew something was wrong when he didn’t come. She starts pushing through the crowd. Jon closes his eyes without seeing her, accepting his fate, just as Ned did.

Dany says that opposition will not be tolerated and orders Grey Worm to behead Jon. The Northmen begin to riot and the other two other armies clash with them. Dany looks over the crowd and doesn’t notice Arya coming up behind her. A blade, Needle, stabs through Dany’s chest, straight through her heart. She cries out and Jon’s eyes jerk open. He looks over and sees only Dany. Arya is already gone, but Needle is left. Jon focuses on it and his eyes widen even more. Dany falls to the ground and Grey Worm rushes over. Jon stays on his knees, taking in the chaos and the blood pooling. He’s in shock.

The soldiers are fighting each other, barely noticing their Queen’s fall. She stares at Grey Worm, in pain and terrified, until her eyes slip closed and she dies. Grey Worm wants someone to blame but Jon was clearly not at fault. Jon slowly stands and walks to Dany, settling beside her. This wasn’t how he wanted it to end. He had so hoped that she would change her mind, and he knows that Arya did it so he’s equally afraid that she will be caught. He looks around uselessly, knowing that he won’t see her anywhere.

Grey Worm removes the blade and lays his Queen down. He stands, lifting it high. He calls for justice, gaining the soldier’s attention finally and they see what’s happened. He demands to know who the blade belonged to and whoever finds the owner will be given a reward. Jon stays silent, staring at Daenarys. He stays there as Grey Worm and several of the soldiers leave in search of Dany’s killer. Jon lifts her the way he did with Ygritte and cries for her. In the distance, Drogon is heard screaming.

Some time has passed by the time we see Tyrion as he’s being released from jail by Jon. Tyrion asks if Jon was the one who killed Dany. When he finds out that Jon is innocent, he manages a smile. “I suppose nothing stands between you and the Iron Throne now.”

Jon isn’t pleased and he repeats, for the last time, “I don’t want it. I’ve seen what that thing does to people, how it corrupts them, how it makes people insane. I want no part of it.”

Tyrion is thoughtful. He completely understands Jon’s fear, after all the majority of people who have sat on the Throne in recent years were crazy, in one way or another. “The throne is not what changes people, Jon. It’s the lust for power that changes a person. And you have no such lusts. Even if you were a bastard and your father wasn’t a Targaryen , I can’t think of anyone who would be a better fit for power. You have had it and you have used it well. You have shown both mercy and justice. You’ve made hard decisions and you’ve seen the good and the bad that comes from them. You killed the Night King. The people love you—and not because of everything you’ve done but because of who you are: a good man. And isn’t it time that a good man sits on the Iron Throne?”

Jon sits, overwhelmed. “Would you want that kind of power?”

“Me? No. No, I fear it might go to my head, too. I am a Lannister after all and our lusts have always been our downfall.” Jon is silent so Tyrion sits next to him and quietly asks, “What do you want, Jon? You’ve said time and time again what you do not want, but what do you want?”

The young man’s eyes are filled with tears when he replies, “I want my father to be alive. I want Catelynn to be alive. I want Robb and Rickon to be alive. I want Sansa to have been protected. I want Arya to have stayed in Winterfell and never seen how awful the world outside is. And I want Bran to be... Bran.”

Tyrion smiles faintly. “Your greatest desire is for your family’s safety and protection. That is good. But what about you? Where do you want to go from here if not up those steps?” he asks, motioning to the throne room.

“Home.”

“Is that Winterfell?”

Jon nods.

“Then go.”

Jon glances at him, frowning. “I thought you’d put up more of a fight.”

Tyrion smiles. “Imagine for a moment that the Ruler of the Seven Kingdoms doesn’t rule from the Iron Throne. Imagine that he lives among his people and protects them, as a King should. Imagine if he ruled from the dining hall in his beloved home instead of a throne room painted with blood.” Jon is obviously doing just that. “You’ve already been the King in the North. You need only add a few more titles after that.”

Jon is silent for a long moment before a bell outside sounds. He stands suddenly. “I have to go.”

The former Hand of the Queen sighs. “Will you not even consider it? I thought I made some good points here.”

“No, it’s not that,” Jon says, inching toward the open door. “I have to go. I’ll find you later.”

Tyrion is a bit confused but he watches Jon leave. We follow Jon out of the destroyed Keep, through streets, passing people as they try to figure out how to start life over. Some people have bread for sale and a small marketplace is beginning to take shape. Jon is clearly in a hurry but he slows as he takes in the sight of people that he feels a deep longing to protect. He may not want power, but he wants to protect them. The thought stays with him as he continues and we follow him to to the beach. A small boat sits in the water with a man inside and a girl on the sand. Ser Davos waits in the boat, acknowledging Jon, and Arya smiles when she sees Jon approaching. They hug.

“You weren’t followed, right?” Jon asks, pulling away to look at her face.”

“No, no one knows we’re here, I’m sure of it. Do you have it?”

Jon smiles and removes Needle from under his cloak. He hands it to Arya and she grips the hilt tightly, possessively. “Thank you, Jon. I didn’t think I’d ever get it back.”

“You almost didn’t. Grey Worm had it under a close watch but when no one found the owner, I think he got tired of the reminder.” Jon’s smile fades. “What you did was foolish. You could have been caught.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“I know that, but you could have.”

“Jon, she was going to kill you. I couldn’t let that happen. Not again.”

He looks confused. “‘Not again’?”

“I couldn’t do anything when Father was killed. I just stood there and listened.”

Jon’s eyes widen. He didn’t know that she had seen it, or at least been close enough to hear it. He looks at the girl and sighs. She’s seen so much, and grown so much. “You know, I’ve wished for many years that things were different—as they were. But... I am so proud of you. And your sister. You both have become such strong women.”

Arya beams under his praise. “You may not be my brother by birth, but you will always be my big brother. And I’m proud of you, too.”

He smiles. “Thank you, Arya.” They hug again. “When will I see you again?”

Arya glances behind her to the boat. “I don’t know. I’m going West.”

“What is West of Westeros?”

“Exactly. I want to find out. And no one there probably even knows the name Daenerys so I’ll be safe.”

Jon’s eyes are sad. “Be safe. Please.”

She reaches as high as she can and Jon bends the rest of the way so she can kiss his cheek. “I will. And I will come back someday.”

“You’d better. I don’t know how I’ll be King with you to protect me.”

Arya’s expression blanks. “King? Are you going to take your place?”

He exhales. “I’m thinking about it.”

She smiles wide. “I can’t think of anyone better suited for it.” She turns and starts toward the boat before turning back. “You know, I don’t need someone to go with me. I can go alone.”

Jon’s sweet smile returns. “Oh I know. He’s there for my peace of mind. And he can tell me where you’ve gone when he returns so, perhaps, I can come visit.”

Our view pulls away, far away, as Arya nods, grins, and walks to the boat; gets in, and they head off while Jon watches.

Time moves forward once more as our view of a start-of-repairs Red Keep comes back into focus. Jon steps out in the same way Daenarys did at the start of the episode, but there is no great crowd awaiting him. He’s not there to make a speech, he’s ready to leave. Tyrion follows. “We will miss you here, you know. There are too many ghosts here for my liking.”

Jon looks over the city. “We all have our ghosts to live with.”

“Yes, some more than others.”

Jon looks down. “Thank you for all you’ve taught me, Tyrion. You’ve always been honest with me, even when others weren’t.”

Tyrion is obviously honoured. The two men hold each other in very high regard. “And you, Snow. Though I suppose I can’t call you that anymore.”

Jon smirks. “I like it better than Targaryen, actually.”

“Well, I certainly can’t call you the Bastard of Winterfell anymore.”

“No, and I can’t call you the Imp of Casterly Rock, either.”

Tyrion extends his hand. “Farewell then, King Jon of the Seven Kingdoms.”

Jon extends his own and they shake. “And you, Lord Tyrion of the Red Keep.”

“Actually, I like those better,” Tyrion replies with a smile.

Before Jon can reply, Drogon flies in and lands at the bottom of the stairs, bellowing in Jon’s direction. Jon looks from the dragon to Tyrion, a question in his eyes. Tyrion states, “I think your ride home has arrived.”

Jon looks unnerved. “I don’t know how to care for a dragon. And the North is no place for one.”

Tyrion gives the animal a sympathetic look. “I imagine he can take care of himself just fine, but... he’s lost everyone. You’re probably the only one he trusts now.”

With a sigh of resignation, because he still feels guilt over Dany’s death, he gives Tyrion a last nod of goodbye and descends the long staircase. At the bottom, Drogon squeals and lowers himself so Jon can step on. Still a little wary of riding a dragon, especially without Dany’s guidance or aid if necessary, he climbs on. Not knowing what to say, he simply commands, “Winterfell.”

Drogon stands, stretches his long wings out, and starts to fly. We watch the pair fly out of sight from Tyrion’s perspective. Tyrion smiles.

Winterfell comes into view after a long flight and Drogon descends, carefully landing nearby. Jon, clearly not at ease after the flight, stumbles a bit as he gets off. Turning back to face the gorgeous beast, he removes his glove and gently pets Drogon’s face. The dragon’s eyes close and sounds of contentment come from deep within. “I’m sorry about your mother,” Jon says quietly. “She was a good woman and I loved her.” He pauses, not sure what to say next. In a sense, he feels like he’s just as much apologizing to Dany herself as the dragon’s eyes focus on him. “Go. Go wherever you want and do whatever you want. But, please... don’t kill anyone. Those days are over now.”

He has no idea if the dragon understands or not but somehow, he feels like it does. Drogon stands back, makes one last noise at Jon, and then flies away. Jon watches, his cloak billowing in the wind. He turns to the gates of Winterfell and, for the first time in so long, exhales a breath it seems like he’d been holding for years. He is home.

The gates open and Sansa, Bran, Sam, Tormund, and Ghost await inside. Ghost bolts as soon as he catches sight of Jon and nearly knocks his owner over. Jon laughs, balancing himself and giving the wolf a proper rub. “I missed you, too, boy. It’s good to see you.”

He enters the city and hugs Sansa tightly, shakes Bran’s hand, hugs Sam, and stops at Tormund. “What are you doing here? Did you get too cold in the ‘Real North’?”

The bearded man laughs. “We came as soon as I got the letter from Sam. Your dog wasn’t eating much and I knew he needed his real owner. Besides, I wanted to see if you looked any different now that you’re a real King.”

Jon laughs. “And? Do I?”

"Besides the belly you have from eating like a King, no.” Tormund laughs uproariously as he strikes Jon’s abdomen before pulling him into a hug.

When they separate, Sansa, smiling, steps forward. “Can I still call you Jon?”

Jon rolls his eyes. “Yes. If I can still call you sister.”

She hugs him once more. “I will always be your sister.”

Bran clears his throat, gaining everyone’s attention. “Jon, you have work to do now. The Seven Kingdoms need you.”

Jon sighs. This isn’t what he wanted, but he knows that it’s his duty. And there was nowhere else he’d rather be, and no one he would rather be surrounded by than his family and friends.

“Do we have time to celebrate his homecoming first?” Sam asks.

Bran gives a faint smile. “So long as there are no more stories about giant’s milk.”

Jon frowns and turns to Tormund. The man’s lips are pursed out, his brow furrowed. “How did you know about that?”

“I know everything,” Bran replies.

Tormund’s confusion seems to grow. “Do you also know about the time that I killed a bear with my own hands?”

Bran nods without emotion. “Yes.”

“Can I tell that story?”

“Yes.”

Tormund throws one arm around Jon’s shoulder as they all walk into the main hall, Sam pushing Bran’s wheelchair as he and Tormund continue going through a list of Tormund’s appropriate stories. The people of Winterfell are pleased to see Jon and smile and greet him as he passes.

Their true King had returned.

THE END

#Game of Thrones #GOT #Jon Snow #Kit Harington #Daenerys Targaryen #Mine #Sorry guys I know this is totally off SPN buuuut I have feelings and I needed to get them out #So I rewrote the episode #Now I feel so much better truly I do #My heart is happy

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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 2 years ago

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13 March 2023 Monday 11:56 am pdt

I forgot to look at the time probably after 11:17 am pdt on the news west valley college is on lockdown Bcz of an armed intruder. They were still waiting for police to arrive I think.

this timing is too eerie to be a coincidence. This college is in Saratoga. 11:59 am pdt I wonder if the red door house is near this place in the supposed Sierra LaMar hoax message. 12 pmpdt

10:23 pmpdt unfortunately I didn’t do enough reading on the 2009 cases they connected to antolin Garcia Torres. One source said he was 17 years old & the attacks happened at night? How big was Torres at 17 years old? Is it possible the witness accounts were altered? Did they go to trial for these cases & the original witnesses identified him? Did he have an alibi? Could it have been a doppelgänger? There was once a case of mistaken identity in a crime? A n innocent doppelgänger got the blame. Where would have Torres got a stun gun? Taser? At the age of 17 years old? 10:28 pmpdt I thought I originally read one of the women was punched by a tattooed arm. Where did I read that? Does Torres have tattoos on his arms? Didn’t look like it from one video. 10:29 pmpdt

1:09 am pdt 14 March 2023 Tuesday

December 2016, I thought the incubus was trying to tell me without saying it, that he was actually “Brendan” the guy I talked to online & the phone in 2001. He messed with me all 2017 about it, but near the end of 2017 when I started to notice the pictures w/ Q like the Halloween pilot costumes, I got punished for retailiatung by posting those links. Incubus zapped me w/ lighting to probably my ovaries after behati posted the bath picture with the peach emojis, & when gio was born & she posted the baby toes they cut round feeling organs brutally dragging a sharp edge in a round shaped motion. It was so harsh it made my eyeballs roll back as he did it. For mins now it feels hot acidic sharp in my ear 1:18 am pdt I don’t believe in the incubus. What he mislead me to believe in 2022. It was quite a show, giving me that hair on the cookie container. I think the incubus miñion took it back Bcz I couldn’t find it b4 leaving the apartment & my mom won’t look at the gio video on Instagram to confirm that her eyes are brown. I think the incubus is making her afraid to look. I’m alone in this. 1:22 am pdt

1:43 am pdt nausea minute ago burned hot acid on right side back skull. There’s nothing that is going to stop him from destroying my body. One day I noticed Brendan junior’s dad wearing jeans w/ embroidered eagles on the back pockets & I recalled jeans I described to “Brendan” on the phone in 2001 also had angel wings embroidered on the back pockets. I said it out loud near the kitchen window & I think he heard me. I think I remember he changed his pants after that? Cramps stomach 1:49 am pdt I think they were maybe saying it wasn’t him. I once saw Brendan junior wearing an LA cool sweat shirt. I thought maybe it is from the incubus. 1:50 am pdt Xmas time they put Xmas lights on the balcony rails & one of the lights was in the shape “NY” as if proudly displaying New York pride. 1:52 am pdt Brendan junior’s dad’s friend parked next to our bedroom window & Brendan junior climbed (acid pain vag 1:53 am pdt) & the speakers suddenly blasted loudly “New York! [...] bright lights will expire you!” I think it was that song. 1:55 am pdt I saw Brendan junior’s dad talk to the roofer b4 the roofers removed our roof & we were roofless for a night & there was a cut out in the ceiling & I used a broom to push it open & saw the night sky so I stayed up all night to keep watch. We weren’t given warning about that part at all by anyone. 1:58 am pdt

2:01 am pdt incubus plan ahead to mess with my feelings. My sophomore year yearbook 2001 has handout lines (autocorrect) all over it w/ different patterns & colors. “Paint a picture w/ my hands” Sunday morning. Album released 2002? Hands all over maroon 5(vag acid pain 2:05 am pdt) album w/ Rosie on the cover in bed. I only realized it last year, & then the Sunday morning lyrics connection this year. 2:07 am pdt probably doesn’t change anything. I’m not married. I never gave birth to anyone. Therefore seeing is believing. & being not sick is believing. With the horrible way his parents & him probably run things , including stuff w/ dugard, & the abuse I think if incubus is not really my husband then I’m luckier that way. Bcz he seems to be a nightmare. 2:11 am pdt

2:13 am pdt I want to be dead.

2:21 am pdt I don’t know if Brendan was rich. If he wasn’t, & if he was friends or related to the incubus, & incubus had a lot of money, enough to screw up a semester of college by not attending almost the whole semester, then I guess he had money he can easily do with out. 2:24 am pdt incubus went to French woods camp probably a lot in New York. A lot of opportunities to hang out with Brendan. 2:25 am pdt what I was trying to type was maybe Brendan didn’t have time to screw around but incubus did. Doors. Slamming 2:26 am pdt

2:58 am pdt while I was in the bathroom on the toilet, incubus... it felt my inside groin maybe inside uterus got chemically burned... horrible awful feeling... the whole thing. Very cruel. Kiera knightley. Key era. Knight lay. On the ground. Ippon. (Vag acid pain 3:02 am pdt) probably means when she was born that there are no more heroes? Makes sense w/ the dugard case. I’m jinxed so I can’t mention anything else. It doesn’t matter to him that I prayed & wanted his help to intervene. He’s probably still blaming me for everything. He gives to those he wants to give & he didn’t want to help me out in that moment unfortunately. I don’t know what happened. But if he did answer my prayer he didn’t want to tell me Bcz he didn’t want me to have a life & he wanted me to condemn myself. 3:08 am pdt acid pain back mouth throat 3:09 am pdt I already condemned myself after 2002 whenever I remembered something I did. I sabotaged myself a lot I think. 3:10 am pdt it seems he wanted to raise the bar so I would really be completely consumed with doom. 3:12 am pdt

Incubus is heinous & cruel. I don’t want him & I wish to never think of him again (right shoulder pain 3:13 am vag acid pain) 3:14 am pdt

4:07 am pdt incubus is a monster. = the world will always be full of monsters.

8:26 am pdt after what the incubus did to me, I don’t believe there is any going back to believing that he is my husband or a good guy. Kick = okay I sick. The worst thing I probably did to Q was keep coming back to her Bcz I didn’t have many friends & Bcz I hoped that I would like her again. There were times I didn’t want to hang out came the day & one of us would cancel on the other. I was late sometimes Bcz I had bad time management for some reason. 8:30 am pdt the end of 2017 was probably the first time I did anything mean to Q. 8:31 am pdt somehow for some weird reason even though she had many other friends to hang out with, she told me I was her best friend. I wanted to be able to reciprocate to someone. Unfortunately I tried to fit myself through that hole that I didn’t fit that I wished I could have fit. 8:33 am pdt pain left side neck on/off for maybe 2 days? I can never believe in the incubus again. I did lie when I was a kid about the weirdest things (autocorrect? Thong. It don’t matter it’s probably another incubus lie 8:35 am pdt). I did my best to confess even though it was extremely difficult for me on many levels. Maybe I didn’t tell it perfectly but I got the biggest details close enough to the truth if it isn’t 100%, it’s probably 99% truth considering a lot of time has passed & his ability to alter memories. 8:37 am pdt incubus still called me a liar by putting acid to my tongue & every lip. 8:38 am pdt in my head he made me feel like a liar. Even I think I remember when I talked to k.o. About Scott & I wanted to stop & had difficulty stopping & decided to not hang out anymore Bcz I couldn’t control my mouth to stop talking about Scott, & I felt wrong to talk about Scott. I don’t remember what I said but I remembered it had something to do with him. 8:40 am pdt through autocorrect it looks like he’s telling me (acid pain throat 8:41 am pdt) I’m wrong even though I have very distinct memory about this without remembering the words, bcz I had an emotional reaction to myself Bcz I really wanted to change & I thought it was for the better. 8:42 am pdt but maybe it was not? I cannot determine this until I remember what exactly I said. 8:43 am pdt but now I know incubus is lying to me (acid pain throat 8:43 am pdt) & what he did is probably major damage & irreversible. 8:44 am pdt I can never go down that road again to believing in him again. Bad guy. 8:45 am pdt maybe I treated Q well enough for her to really think she can get away with lying to me like that? Or maybe she thinks she treated me well enough for her to lie like that to me? 8:47 am pdt

10:23 am pdt hypothesis: incubus does not have a dad bod Bcz he’s still hunting/ on the prowl? For younger women. Lecherous. 10:24 am pdt

12:18 pmpdt I wanted someone who would give me a chance without expecting s*x within 4 weeks of meeting each other. I wanted time to grow. I should have settled for that one guy I started seeing in late 2005, but physical attraction was an issue for me especially with my first boyfriend (vag acid pain 12:21 am pdt). There’s obviously a double standard that it’s an absolute that women must be healthy and attractive & that we don’t have to be attracted to the man. The first guy I thought I fell in love with said something to me that I shouldn’t be with someone who “has problems”? Something I thought he was talking about physical attractiveness. My dad was a little like that Bcz he liked slender women. I shouldn’t have been looking for someone to be attracted to & fall in love with. I guess Bcz if incubus it’s impossible for me & I have a curse. Cosmopolitan magazine back in 2010 wrote something about pheromones & women being attracted to those who compliment genetically their immune systems. I don’t know if it’s true or if it’s invented by incubus. (Stress trig btwn big toes & second toes he’s pushing further inward 12:28 pmpdt) with my curse it was sometimes difficult to stop an action & change course - probably a marionette thing. 12:29 pmpdt sometimes it was hard to say the right thing probably Bcz of the curse, too. 12:30 pmpdt I hope that doesn’t happen again. But knowing the incubus it’s bound to happen again. 12:31 pmpdt it feels like he’s going to continue splitting my feet until my big toe is completely off. 12:32 am pdt this world is heinous. & it’s the voice at the top. 12:33 am pdt once I had the same idea as a partner in class, I don’t remember his name. I was so stunned that we had the same idea at the same time when he told me his. As usual I had difficulty explaining myself & I fell into a big hole in communication. I hate speaking in public, infront of classes. I was usually shy & shook a lot out of being nervous to stand & speak infront of class. Also when the teacher said he would Call on random people. 12:38 pmpdt

news of cremation business stored bodies in a warehouse 😞 no resurrection. Ocean view. Hayward? 12:39 pmpdt

I thought he was psychic. Possibly I was psychic. I should have assumed that. & he told me to be the one to talk infront of class Bcz it was his idea to draw the shadows? Or something like that. & I messed up. I said it was my idea when I should have said it was his. I remember he wore thick black frame glasses. He might have been American Korean but American born from the way he sounded. He probably held a grudge against me Bcz if that. I hope he told the teacher on me so he got proper credit. My last year at UCB I had to deal with a lot of big eczema openings in my skin oozing & getting stuck to pillow cases & bedding (acid pain throat). I took oral & topical antibiotics at least 3 times probably in that year while I was there & I had difficulty getting classes on time. 12:45 pmpdt the incubus blames everything on me. After someone called my place I’m blossom hill before Valentine’s Day 2002 to say “Brendan” used the work cell phone to call many teen girls, my mom told me not to lie to her & it was difficult for me to lie to her for long time after that. Maybe it was if I had atakrn taken (12:49 pmpdt) a truth serum Bcz I felt it emotionally that I couldn’t lie to her after that. So I told her I wanted to meet derick. 12:48 pmpdt

1:39 pmpdt Christina grimmie is probably really dead. Incubus showed tears. 1:40 pmpdt he probably conned her too. Playboy games. He’s really a playboy pretending to not be pretending to be...? Did I type that correctly? I feel like I cannot smile or laugh anymore. 1:42 pmpdt

1:42 pmpdt I thought I really enjoyed talking to Derek online & we once tried thanking on the phone but I became self conscious & nervous. & then he called me a ditz very loudly. He said something like you’re a ditz! His personality at that moment seemed completely different than what I perceived it to be online. I thought we were becoming best friends. 1:45 pmpdt at first I felt like I couldn’t let him go, & then I found it in me to let him go for my mom. 1:45 pmpdt around 2011/2012-end of 2014 sometime in that period I felt like I was going to die from the feeling of loneliness. & then suddenly the feeling was replaced with contentment/happiness/fun when I was alone. The change in feelings happened within minutes. 1:48 pmpdt

1:49 pmpdt vag acid pain. He’s never going to stop. He lied to me. After all that time of working in myself to become more honest & to try to build up courage to face my past bad choices that I remembered at the time. I usually only remembered one bad choice & forgot the other stuff. I don’t know why. I feared running into this person, but I thought about kneeling on the ground begging for forgiveness & understanding if I maintained courage if I ran into her. 1:52 pmpdt in 2014 a doctor I saw seemed to intentionally stab my ear & pretend she didn’t do it intentionally. I got on one knee & begged her to do a brain scan Bcz of my past head trauma but she replied “I don’t work that way” & ran out of the room. She seemed a little ... crazy? 1:54 pmpdt I remembered when we first called the hospital after I got mediCal they seemed to already have me signed up there. I don’t know if that’s normal but the person we talked to in the phone didn’t think it was normal I think. We didn’t investigate. 1:55 pmpdt

1:56 pmpdt I think the incubus did me dirty. And immaturely. I h*te what he did to me. 1:57 pmpdt

1:58 pmpdt back then After I made a bad decision or did a bad thing I usually tried not to do it again. 1:59 pmpdt I maybe tried harder. 1:59 pmpdt in 2010 I yearned to be free among people to not feel guilt about the past, I think it was almost immediately after I stopped seeing Scott. Probably b4 the car thing. 2:01 pmpdt incubus I guess had plans to further screw me over then. 2:01 pmpdt

it was then I prayed to god for courage I think to face my past. 2:03 pmpdt in 2017? I think I saw Oprah say don’t pray to god for courage or love. I guess god did weird things to a lot of people. 2:04 pmpdt

2:05 vag acid pain. God = incubus = heinous.

2:07 pmpdt incubus took my memory away of what I as going to write now it’s back . Incubus is putting acid on my vag & roof of my mouth Bcz he does not like that I didn’t commit suicide in 2015. He thinks I lied to him. I guess he’s right. I was very scared to commit suicide but he gave me signs he wanTed me to probably since 2010. I still wanted to live but as a hermit. 2:11 pmpdt I tried to scan all my statements b4 getting rid of the paper copies & I lost all the files when I ran away, w/ my drivers license. 2:12 pmpdt & expired passport. 2:13 pmpdt & jewelry. It was stupid I packed all that stuff & took it with me. 2:13 pmpdt

2:14 pmpdt I guess now that he destroyed my organs inside my groin?/pelvis? He doesn’t need me around to pretend anymore that he’s my husband. Sometime btwn 2011-2014 (vag acid pain 2:16 pmpdt it really eats my flesh he demonstrated on my tongue & ear. 2:18 pmpdt) I was still dumb & wondered when I was going to meet my soulmate or the person god chose for me. In my head a menacing head voice spoke to me. Foreshadowing my destruction. When I talked to “Brendan” on the phone it seemed like he was reading my mind & the thought crossed my mind if he can read my mind maybe it means he’s my soulmate. I didn’t yet put it all together how it worked. How the world & relationships were set up to work. I watched too many Disney movies. I made all the wrong choices/decisions. & when it could have been right it wasn’t the right timing. 2:24 pmpdt

2:26 pmpdt “Brendan” said he had the cube? Mac/apple computer in 2001.

2:39 pmpdt b4 my aunt got married in 2001? I had a weird feeeling & imagination for a few minutes of what was funny that I never should have done. I wonder if people at school was starting to think I was crazy, or maybe it was soon after this. I think I watched too many karate kid movies & I thought that I could flip my aunt perfectly & that it would be funny. I did it & somehow I made her turn over 360 degrees & put her on her back. Maybe it was a little rough? I hope it wasn’t... but it might have been a little. She laughed! & soon after that she had a successful pregnancy. I would never do it again. The last 5 years I felt betrayed a lot by a lot of people. I feel like I don’t have anyone to defend me. I a lot of people I only met for a few minutes or hours already started hurting me physically. 2:47 pmpdt bcz I have sensitivities I feel like the whole world turned against me by putting citric acid in their products including cetaphil which is supposed to be for sensitive skin. I feel like literally they’re biting the hands that fed them. Back in 2017? 2019... I saw a counselor who said a lot of older people cannot eat citrus. So basically the whole economy turned against their aging population. 2:51 pmpdt heinous. I also couldn’t drink water, it gave me problems. When I found a water I could drink my mom betrayed me & told someone on the phone. She sounded like she did it intentionally to betray me from her tone. After that I had difficulty drinking the water & it all started tasting bitter. Fiji water around September? 2021. Also around 2016/2017 someone put a huge dent in my mom’s car door drivers side. Around the same time my sister in new York her car got the same fate: a big dent in the car door. The one in my mom’s car door is about a foot in diameter? 2:57 pmpdt vag acid pain 2:58 pmpdt the hospital punished me for retailiatung on my mom for this very big betrayal. I had trouble breathing when I drank water & started having diarrhea when I drank milk. My pee was orange. I thought she was trying to kill me with her betrayal. 3 pm the hospital bruised fruit & drenched my food with water. They seemed to like this unusual punishment even though it’s against the constitution. 3:02 pmpdt

4:54 pmpdt every one says bye to me like they’re smug & im going to die. It feels like that is what’s really going to happen. It’s awful to always be in some sort of pain, agony, loneliness, anxiety, & see:hear hints of death coming. If I cannot have any say or control in it I would rather get squashed by a gigantic asteroid in my sleep. 4:58 pmpdt god likes to put me through this Bcz he wants my bones. 4:59 pmpdt if anything is possible god should be able to cut through the asteroid with a a lazer to get to my bones. 5:01 pmpdt I need to watch more YouTube videos. Something is shocking me that I think I was blocked from remembering or understanding in 2017. Makes me think that everyone is really for themselves & or believe if something bad happened to you then you’re a bad person 😖😭🥵😤. I guess people believe that about dugard & Shannon Ruth & Sierra LaMar ? If god says so then I guess it’s true. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ my own self. Around June that summer he wanted me to think 💭 I was special & gentle & loving 🥰 even though before that he was calling me trash 🗑 & treating me like trash 🗑 my whole life & more so now. 5:07 pmpdt I m starting to believe I’m trash 🗑. Last night ? Or this morning I recalled that he said women are amazing. Maybe 🤔 he didn’t really mean women’s abilities to get pregnant 🤰, but how they make his p*nis feel. Like mvrykv_ on Instagram. The truth probably exposed. But he’s probably secretly misleading a lot of people still from what he wants me to believe without showing me. 5:11 pmpdt no one will help me but every medical 🏥 person says bye 👋 like they know I’m dying. Dying 😵5:12 pmpdt

5:21 pmpdt koit autocorrect: loot. ...

I can’t depend on the incubus to answer my prayers if he has other plans, even though it (throat acid pain 5:23 pmpdt) seemed he was paying attention to me in that particular moment & he simply chose not to help me out- Bcz knights lay - ippon? 5:24 pmpdt

5:26 pmpdt I guess he was gaslighting ⛽️ me my whole life, possessed random person to tell me I’m Jesus Christ when I was 6/7 years old literally. But I often forget about it until 2017-ish. 5:29 pmpdt I had difficulty with reading 📖 & comprehension so i didn’t start reading (burned right side 5:29 pmpdt) Bible seriously until ≈2017/2018 & 2021/2022. I still don’t know much. 5:31 pmpdt Bcz it feels that he destroyed my uterus this morning the delusion is dying off. 5:32 pmpdt all hope is dead ☠️.

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creative-classpect · 8 years ago

Text

Patches for the Kiddie Camper Handisash

Once you hit godtier boons become meaningless. Godtier’s level up by gaining neat little badges.

Known badges are

‘The Gift of Gab’- talking to anyone

‘Skeleton key’- opening any lock, getting anywhere you need to

‘Universal specibus’- using any strife kind you want

And one for having non-awkward personal relationships

They are just neat little things that basically amount to Protagonist Powers

Ideas and tropes and the little things that come with being the hero to your own story. After all, a godtier is supposed to be the hero of their quest

There are probably like... 168 possible badges

So here are some patches you can earn as a godtier!

Fashion forward

Effect: Make purely aesthetic changes to clothing or weaponry

Hero insurance

Effect: Prospititans won’t blame you for damaging property. You’re also tax and fee exempt, so that’s cool

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Effect: Always do better on the next try

Destiny Hotline

Effect: Never miss an important phone call or text message

Clever one

Effect: Always have a perfect, snappy line to say. Catchphrases, comebacks, puns, wordplay, etc.

Oldest trick in the book

Effect: Successfully pull off any prank or practical joke

Super Star

Effect: Nullifies stage fright and lack of ability to perform perfectly on the spot

Cool Kid

Effect: Never look dumb in public. Don’t trip or slip, accidents and embarrassments don’t happen, etc

Sheep speed counter

Effect: Get a good night’s rest from even just a nap. Go to sleep easily

Copper tongue

Effect: Never stutter, stammer, or speak above an appropriate level ever again. Communicate effectively

Forget me not

Effect: Never forget anything important

Belly of the whale

Effect: Never get sick from overeating or get tired of eating too much of the same thing

Spice of life

Effect: At least one pleasant, interesting, or memorable thing happens to you every day

On time

Effect: You always make any deadline and never show up late

Lost and found

Effect: Never misplace anything

Internal autocorrect

Effect: Always spell or say words right

Peace of mind

Effect: Stop worrying and stressing too much. Lose anxiety

Scholar

Effect: Your handwriting is always legible. Your reading comprehension is excellent as well

Get up and go

Effect: The ability to follow through. Stop procrastinating, lose depression, get rid of writer’s block

Sidenote, it would seem you can progress in the same exact way as pre-godtier. Simply leveling up.

Since the level up platforms are so over the top and you are literally a god at that point and due to the nature of the badges, I think there are 3 levels with 3 tiers each. Meaning you have 3 titles, but 3 segments between them. That means you have 12 whole levels, but only 3 get named.

So you get 12 badges in total depending on what fits you best

Just what I think, at least

Anyways, I hope you find these interesting! What would you choose?

#classpect #homestuck

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talonlv · 4 years ago

Text

So...I called into work *laughs*

This is where it alllll starts, huh? Or maybe I should say where it all ends..Where everything goes to shit. Lol

*shrugs* oh w...fuckk.

I just did a typo and it autocorrected to “oh em”

Fuck. Fuck fuckk fuck. Literally nothing. Nothing I do is going to be easy and everything is going to make me think of you..

To name a few; eating dinner - and wanting to do it with you. Looking at the clock at 11:11..that one really sucked. What else..ohh, walking into my room past my crystal. Yea..that one made me cry. I didn’t shower yesterday because ..somehow it made me think of you..

What the hell am I supposed to do? I fucking look at my window shades, and I fucking think of YOU

I can’t watch Netflix. I can’t order takeout..GOD, I can’t even stand to listen to Marley purr. I know how you liked that. Drinking my seltzer..

It’s like everything I’ve done, while being with you, is no longer acceptable. Nothing that brings me comfort and joy is allowed..well, except for that one thing..

God. This is so unfair.

It makes me want to freak out!

Ha I remember this feeling now that I keep experiencing it. The overwhelming calm of the 💊, but also my inability to rationalize and the uncontrolled random urge to hit things.

I know I’ll barely feel it..which will make me angry. Sometimes you need that physical pain to escape the emotional pain, right? It’s fucked up but it’s true..

You know what I’m concerned about..sort of.

The aggression.

I forgot about the aggression and the aggravation.

Yea..I’m gonna have to keep that in check. It’ll be the first thing my dad noticed, and I don’t want him catching on to shit. Not cause he cares anything about it or if I use.. But his fucking big mouth will tell T..

We can’t have that can we? This whole thing..It’s our little secret.

Until it’s not. It becomes fairly obvious fairly quickly if I start to use too much..which I know I’m not right now. I’m not taking nearly enough. Not even close.

You wanna know how I know?

I still feel it all. All the pain. The nausea, the dread, the anxiety..the complete and total heartache.

I don’t know if it’s from typing on the screen, or just being real with myself and expressing my feelings..but I do find all of this helpful. In a very minute sort of way.

I’m hoping maybe that will help keep me from spiraling out of control.

I haven’t slept yet and I just took my adderall, so I probably won’t be sleeping *sighs* this is going to be the longest day of my life. 11:11am will come, and I’ll think of you. I’ll think about when you’re starting work and when 1:20pm hits I’ll think of how the end has come. 4:29 will remind me of my final bye..and each second and minute and hour between I’ll still think of you..

Because that’s what I do..

I am SO co-dependent on you, I have fucked myself.

It’s not your fault. I don’t want to blame you. But loving you THIS much, makes me find hate in my heart for you. That makes me cry. I don’t like that I feel that. That needs to go away.

Here’s to another —

Enough for now.

Signing off.

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fectiverundercroft · 5 years ago

Text

Niantic, this isn’t fun anymore.

(edited)

When you introduced the special research task of 50 excellent throws, I was frustrated even before getting started, because I know how hard an excellent throw is, but I wanted to give it a try. I wasn’t impressed with the rewards for accomplishing that on top of catching a hundred Pokemon in 25 different species--seriously, a handful of balls, not enough stardust for a meager powerup, and 500 XP?--but I’m not a defeatist.

And I didn’t get anywhere close in the short time you allowed for the challenge. I eventually realized that it wasn’t supposed to be just a participation trophy, and I was okay with that; some people got it, and some don’t.

But then...

Then you introduced this special research task for Mega Gengar. It’s timed, but okay, I’ve got nine days, so maybe that’ll be okay.

But at the same time you introduced another special research, and between the two, I have to catch well over 200 Pokemon.

Okay, it’s the weekend so I’ve got some time, but it’s also f’ing the middle of October and I don't relish walking around in shitty weather for this, no matter what the fundamental concept of the game is.

And on top of that, I have to make nine nice throws in a row. NINE? Nice throws themselves aren’t that hard, but this many in a row?

There’s a reason I immediately delete every regular field research that requires consecutive throws of a particular kind in any number. And I operate almost exclusively on curveball throws, so don’t wave your hands and go “Well, if you had more practice...” and carry on as normal. Because those research assignments don’t show up all that often, especially in the last several months when you made some tweaks to accommodate the lockdown (which, tbf, thanks for that).

But look.

I’m level 38, so I’m not new to the game. I only have typo/autocorrect problems when an iOS update drops. I have a current smart phone with an undamaged screen, and my ten fingers all work fine, so it’s not like my usual gaming experience is like some scene out of Borat. I tell you this not to brag about being the best--clearly my distaste for quotas as I’ve already delineated should have made it clear that I know I’m not--but to help you to understand why I am so frustrated that

ON FRIDAY I HAD OVER A THOUSAND POKEBALLS IN MY BAG AND EVEN AFTER HITTING POKESTOPS ALL OVER TOWN THE WHOLE WEEKEND I JUST USED MY LAST ONE UP.

I was at five out of nine in a row when I first posted this, but now I’m down to two in a row for I think the third time. Five was pretty good; usually three in a row is exceptional for me.

But I’m not going to go buy any more balls or go out of my way to spin Pokestops just to keep wasting them. I’ve gotten to eight in a row more than once by now, and I don't like how much it makes me swear when after fighting through really feisty Pokemon to finally get near the end and find one that is normally pretty sedate, it decides to do a double fake out. There are kids who play this game, and they don’t need to see me struggling to maintain an adult composure over one more surprise source of frustration. Or are you trying to teach them a life lesson about how if you’re persistent, luck might reward your efforts, but probably not, and even if so, it’s just for mediocre gains? Because that’s what I’m taking away from this, and I used to play this game to get away from those kinds of reminders at my day job.

Okay, to be fair I’m not blaming you for me scandalizing any innocent children within earshot. But I want to impress upon you how frustrating it is when I try to play a game I really like and all of a sudden they take a part that I enjoy less than other parts and convert it into a roadblock of heroic proportions.

You don’t have to fire the guy who came up with the idea of challenges that require vast diligence, time, and luck; but train him not to suggest ideas like this anymore and root it out of your developers’ play experience philosophy. If I have a 75% chance of hitting a nice throw any one time, do you know what my probability of repeating that, eight more times, would be? Under 8%. I’d have to make over a hundred attempts, on average, before I succeeded. Now, certainly I did get better with practice; for a while I avoided drifloons because their floatiness is harder to anticipate than, say, a shroomish, but when that’s all that’s on the map it’s learn to adapt or wait it out. But when I’ve already burned through a significant fraction of my stockpile just to hit massive, sometimes time-sensitive quotas that are in the dozens or hundreds, a hundred attempts at nine in a row is still a lot. Especially when my thousand balls are now down to under 300.

I normally avoid zubats in the normal course of the game, and even sableyes when I find one that won't stop twitching, so I can’t say for sure that all the ghost type pokemon--which have been crowding out the variety I normally see--are really trickier to catch just like they’re portrayed in other media, and I can’t guess if you deliberately chose to make an exceptionally time and resource costly challenge even tougher by doing it during a season that is laden with difficult Pokemon.

But I’m not much interested in finding out anymore.

#pokemongo

0 notes

stansghost · 8 years ago

Note

Im having the shittiest day and I’m wondering if you could do some platonic/romantic hcs of Stozier (aslo if you could add Richies reaction to Stan being dead bc that’s so fucking tragic ??)

ahh I’m sorry you were having a bad day !!! Hopefully this can help you cheer up a bit ?? (Also holy shit I’m so sorry, I promise these were just supposed to be headcanons but I have Absolutely No Self Control) I hope you like them !!

• their late middle school years and early high school years are stolen glances, forbidden daydreams, and butterflies that neither of them completely understand but neither of them mind too much either

• Richie almost never has nightmares, but when he does it’s the same one (he’s at a funeral in front of a coffin, he looks down to see himself in it, when he turns around, he sees all of the seats are vacant)

• he always wakes up in a panic, tears streaming down his face, usually he’s able to calm himself back down, but some nights he just can’t deal with it alone

• he sneaks to Stan’s house, and climbs through the window

• when he first started, Stan was super annoyed (“Richie, it’s like 3am, what are you doing here??”)

• but when he sees the hesitant and shy way Richie is holding himself, and his red eyes and puffy cheeks, Richie is in his bed and cuddling under the covers in seconds

• he tells Stan about his dreams, and Stan quietly reassures him (while also thankful Richie’s head is pressed against Stan’s chest so he can’t see the worry on Stan’s face)

• “you won’t forget me, right?”

• “how could I ever forget you”

• Stan plays with Richie’s hair, humming nonsense songs until they both fall asleep

• Stan wakes up to Richie next to him on the bed

• he can’t believe how such a beautiful, innocent looking boy could turn into such a fckn asshole

• he has the strongest urge to lean over and kiss Richie’s forehead

• he shakes his head and gets up to make waffles

• Richie calls Stan “Staniel” when they get into drunk arguments

• drunk!Stan™ usually comes back with “Richinold”

• before long they’re usually too busy giggling to continue their argument

• Stan has really bad social anxiety, and while he’s usually ok in public spaces, sometimes he just needs a minute in a quiet space

• the losers really wanted to try out the new waterpark that had just been built, Stan really d i d n o t want to, knowing how crowded it always was, but how could he say no when the others were so excited ?

• once he’s there, he has fun with his friends and everything is ok

• but suddenly everything becomes louder, its harder to breathe, everyone is moving so fast and his vision starts tunnelling and he needs to Get Out

• he jumps out of the pool and basically sprints to the changing room and locks himself in one of the bathroom stalls

• Richie noticed Stan getting out of the pool and is immediately rushing after him before Bev can even ask what happened

• Richie runs into the change room looking around for Stan when he hears laboured breathing from one of the bathroom stalls

• Richie calls his name softly and knocks on the bathroom stall

• He hears the breathing stop for a moment, then the door opens and the next thing Richie knows he’s on his ass holding a panicking Stan

• Stan starts rambling uncontrollably, stuttering and stumbling over his words, trying to explain what happened

• he tries to tell Richie he tried to calm down and it’s never been this bad before and he doesn’t know what to do and he doesn’t know how to calm down

• Richie just shushes him and tries to get him to breathe

• He’s trying not to let his tears fall because he’s sure he’s never seen his friend this scared before but somehow this feels so familiar and he can’t help but be a little scared too

• they just sit there on the ground, holding each other until Stan finally starts to calm down

• whatever strange looks they get from other men and boys walking by, Richie deflects with a glare of mind your own fucking business

• whenever the losers club suggest going to the pool again, Richie always makes sure he and Stan “already have plans”

• Stan only does stupid shit around Richie

• he cackles internally when none of the losers believed Richie when he told them Stan had dabbed 15 times in a row to All Star

• “why Stan, why”

“because no one will believe you”

“you monster”

• Richie joins Stan on one of his birdwatching adventures

• because lately, for some reason, he really wants to hang out with Stan more often

• Stan spends most of the time walking to the meadow near the barrens, talking about the northern lapwing his father had told him he’d seen the other day (“they’re very rare for this area, Richie, people would kill to see one of those), and that he vowed he wouldn’t leave until he saw it too

• Richie starts getting super bored though, he’d finished his funny book and the sandwich Stan’s mom had packed him

• he starts looking around, taking in everything around him, when he notices Stan’s bag is open and he can see a worn out journal inside

• “*gasp* Stanley Uris did you really break your mother’s favourite vase ? you naughty boy tsk tsk…”

“yeah yeah, it was gre- wait what”

“and theN YOu blamed it on me?? how Rude™”

“ Richie Tozier put that dowN DON’T READ THAT”

• Richie tried to take the journal and run (seeing his name for a brief second and becoming curious) though he didn’t get far before Stan fckn tackled him to the ground

• they start fighting over the journal, wrestling and rolling all over the ground

• little known fact about Stanley Uris; he’s extremely ticklish

• Richie uses this unfairly in Stan’s opinion to his advantage

• Stan pins Richie to the ground and finally gets his journal back

• they’re both out of breath from the effort and the mini tickling war, that at first they don’t realize how close they are to each other

• when they do the whole situation just seems a little less funny

• Richie is taking in all of Stan’s features; the way that one little curl falls just right over his face; the little crinkles by his eyes when he smiles, his angelic smile

• Richie can feel himself leaning in closer an-

• Stan gives a little chuckle and stands up, brushing himself off (“come on Richie, it’s getting late and now our clothes are all dirty,,, I’ll just come back another day)

• Richie stays where he is for a minute, trying to process what just happened what he almost did

• Stan has butterflies in his stomach and he won’t let himself understand why boys aren’t supposed to feel that way about other boys Stanley dear, you’ll grow out of it

• Richie’s phone once autocorrected Stan’s name to Satan

• Richie kept that as Stan’s contact name for almost 5 months until Stan broke into his phone to change it

• It wasn’t until their second year of high school that they finally realized/admitted how they felt about each other

• they were both tipsy on New Year’s Eve at the clubhouse when someone suggested spin the bottle

• Stan sat beside Bill, secretly not at all secretly looking at Richie

• Richie sat beside Bev, they were whispering about something that Stan couldn’t hear, occasionally looking his way

• when it finally came down to Stan’s turn, he spins the bottle and it lands on Richie

• they both look at each other in shock, the cat calls and playful whooping fading into the background

• Stan is still trying to process the situation when he realizes Richie already crossed the circle to him

• he’s inches away from Stan’s face when he whispers a quiet “I c-can’t” and immediately jumps up

• he looks around to see the confused and shocked faces of his friends (and the confused and hurt look on Richie’s face) before he quickly exits the clubhouse

• Richie takes a minute to take in what just happened, before he’s out the door just as fast

• he catches up to Stan, and grabs his arm to stop him from walking away

• Stan yanks his arm out of Richie’s grasp, trying to hide his face because he won’t can’t let Richie see the tears that he couldn’t hold back

• Richie practically begs Stan to look at him and tell him what’s going on

• Stan refuses to, as he runs his hands through his hair and mutters to himself (“this isn’t right, this isn’t right, I can’t do this, I can’t)

• Richie grabs Stan’s shoulders and forced him to look at him, the uncertainty and hesitance on Stan’s face scared him

• “when I tell you you’re going to hate me”

“Don’t be ridiculous, how could I ever hate you”

“I… I like… you”

• Stan refused to look at Richie in the eye as he confessed, but his head snapped up when he heard laughter

• he looked up to see the biggest smile he’d ever seen on Richie’s face

“you like me? Like, you’re not fucking with me right?”

“No this isn’t a fucking joke Richie, this is real. Fuck i knew it, i knew I shouldn’t have said anything, I fucked everything up, everything was so good and now I’m going to lose the one person I care most abo-“

• Richie grabs Stan’s face in his hands and looked at him right in the eyes with a dead serious expression

“You aren’t going to lose shit you noodle-haired doof” Richie smiles at him “I like you too. I’ve known it since that day in the meadow, I know it when I see your smile, or hear your laugh. I know it when I see you talk about something that makes you happy, I know it when you tell me about your day, or what you want to do with life. I know it when it hurts to say goodbye, and I know it when I find myself getting butterflies thinking about seeing you the next day. Fuck Stan, I like you, I like everything about you. So please, don’t ever talk about losing me again because I swear on my life, for as long as you’ll have me, I’ll never leave you

• Stan has never been happier in his entire life

• Richie asks if he can kiss him

• Stan tells him it’s ok

• it’s so sweet and soft, and so much better than either of them could have imagined

• they come out to the losers a week later

• they walk to the barrens holding hands, heads held high (but lowkey kinda terrified)

• Ben, being the adorable romantic he is, runs up to them and congratulates them

• Bev turns to Mike with a smug look and Mike begrudgingly takes out a dollar bill and shoved it into Bev’s open palm, before they both go up to congratulate them as well

• Eddie and Bill stay back, overwhelmingly proud and happy that their friends were finally able to express their love for each other (because honestly it was so fckn obvious, they can’t believe it took them this long)

• amidst the barrage of questions the two get about their newfound relationship, Stan and Richie make eye contact

• Stan smiles at Richie

• Richie smiles and winks back at him

• sometimes Stan will go on huge rants about things going on in the world, or things he learned in school, and Richie just sits there, not really listening, but rather watching

• watching as sometimes Stan will stumble over words when he gets too excited

• watching as Stan’s forehead will crease every now and then with his expression

• watching his arms subconsciously animating his words

• watching him worry his bottom lip when he’s trying to think of his next set of words

• watching the beautiful boy he’s completely and utterly in love with

• their first and last time was the day before Stan left

• at first it was rushed kisses and hurried touches

• but then it melted into soft caresses and innocent love

• the next morning was filled with messy hair, featherlight kisses and soft laughter

• Richie swore he wouldn’t cry, he wouldn’t let Stan see how much he needed him there

• he tried to cover up the pain with laughter

• Stan knew Richie too well, he could see it in his eyes

• he held Richie tighter

• “you’ll see me again, I think. I have the weirdest feeling none of us are quite done with this place yet”

• Richie can’t trust his voice, he settles for light kisses to Stan’s neck, jaw, cheeks, nose, lips

• it’s time for Stan to leave, Richie doesn’t want to let go

• Stan doesn’t want to let go either, but if he doesn’t then he’ll stay there with Richie forever

• he forced himself out of the bed

• they get dressed

• they say goodbye

Years Later

• when Richie gets that phone call from Mike, his entire world breaks

• he doesn’t remember too much at first, but something inside tells him he can’t go, he can never go back

• there are so many emotions and new (old?) memories flooding his mind

• then he remembers him

• Stan “the man” Uris

• one of his closest friends, the one who was there for him every goddamn time

• his first.. love ? yes that’s it, his first love

• suddenly, he’s not so scared anymore, suddenly the whole journey looks a little less impossible

• sure he’s scared, sure he really doesn’t want to face… whatever it is he’s sure they’re going to face, but if Stan’s there then everything will be ok

• if he gets to see Stan again, it will all be worth it, he’s sure

• their first dance was at junior prom

• Making Love Out Of Nothing At All by Air Supply was playing, and Richie grabbed Stan’s hand and pulled him onto the dance floor

• “Richie, I don’t know how to dance”

• “Neither do I”

• “They’re all looking at us”

• “Fuck ‘em, it’s you and me and the music tonight, that’s all I care about”

• while driving to Derry, Richie suddenly gets a horrible feeling

• it feels like something just punched him in the gut and it hurts to breathe, he thinks of Stan

• he pulls over, clutching at his chest, trying to regain proper breathing

• suddenly memories of Stan pop into his mind

• the good

• the bad although, were there really any bad memories of Stan?

• he’s unsure why, but he chalks it up to his anxiety of going back to Derry and not knowing what happened to Stan all these years

• he tries to convince himself that when he sees Stan, this horrible feeling will go away

• he finally regains his breath and continues on

• that year for Hanukkah, Stan’s mother had asked him to do some baking to give out to friends and family

• naturally when Richie heard “baking” he tagged right along home with Stan

• Stan’s specialty is sufganiyots, but he’s super particular about how they’re made, and Richie is not meeting his requirements

“sift the flour Richie, you have to sifT IT”

“sift this bitch”

• Richie proceeds to throw the flour in Stan’s face

• Stan stands there for a second, absolutely in shock, before he grabs a fistful of flour and shoves it down Richie’s shirt

• and the famous junior year flour fight had commenced

• chaos ensued as innocent particles of flour were tossed and hurled about, most missing the target but some hitting dead on. The flour massacre only stopped when Richie grabbed Stan’s hands and pinned them on the wall above Stan’s head

• Stan, realizing his defeat, tries to smooth things over with a quick smooch

• as Richie leans down, Stan seizes the momentary distraction and dumps the remaining flour in the bowl over Richie’s head

“Checkmate, bitch”

• Stan goes upstairs to take a shower because now he’s filthy thanks to a certain someone, inviting Richie to join him after he’s done cleaning his mess

• Stan makes sure he’s finished long before Richie is done cleaning

• when he gets to the restaurant Mike had told him about, he’s surprised to see Stan hasn’t arrived yet (Stan is absolutely never late)

• the horrible feeling is threatening to come back again

• he tells himself that he doesn’t even know how Stan had planned to arrive, his flight could have easily been delayed, or traffic jams and construction could easily slow down a bus or car travel

• it doesn’t make him feel better

• later on in the evening in the library, reassured by everyone that Stan is just uncharacteristically late, Richie starts having a good time with the losers

• he’s laughing and making jokes, but at the same time he’s becoming more and more anxious because where the fuck is Stan, why isn’t he here yet, I swear to god when he gets here I’m gonna let him fucking have it for making me worry so much

• he gets up at some point to go grab another beer from the kitchen, laughing at a story Ben had just finished telling them

• he hears a phone ringing in the background

• he hears the laughter die down, and stop

• “guys what’s up? Who died in…”

• he trails off when he returns to the lobby, taking in the complete change in mood

• Mike is solemnly putting the phone down, he looks up carefully to Richie

• Ben is staring at his hands in,, disbelief ?

• Beverly has a hand over her mouth, trying to hold back tears as she stares at the phone

• Eddie is staring cautiously at Richie, skin white as if he’d seen a ghost

• Bill immediately stands when Richie enters the room and starts toward him

• Richie weakly asks who was on the phone

“Richie,,,”

“who was on the fucking phone Bill”

• that horrible feeling is back, and this time it won’t leave

• his lungs, his throat and his heart, everything feels like it’s collapsing and it hurts, it hurts so bad

• all the hope he’d clung to ever since the call with Mike is slowly evaporating as he desperately tries to keep hold of it

• when Bill utters those two hateful words, Richie’s world stops

• he can’t think, he can’t breathe, his legs feel like they could collapse at any second, and all he can do is reply with a small “no” no please god, please let this be a cruel joke, let Stan walk through those doors, let him call back on that phone and say “gotcha Richie, get any good chucks out of this one?” please, anything but this because this hurts so bad and I don’t know what to do

• he looks around at his friends, searching for the answer he wants needs

• he doesn’t get it and oh god why can’t he breathe

• they all take time to mourn Stan

• they all share their favourite memories of him

• no one points out the fact that Richie hasn’t said a single word

• after a while, Mike slowly eases them back into planning for the events of the next day

• once a plan is decided, Richie quickly excuses himself, and leaves for his hotel room

• he’s numb the entire cab ride there, watching out the window but not really seeing anything

• as soon as he’s in his room and the door is shut, is when he finally breaks

• he sits down in the entry way, pulling his knees to his chest and trying to breathe between the sobs

• he falls asleep there, his last thought is of the smile Stan had given him when they came out to the losers

Years Later pt 2

• Richie doesn’t remember the losers club anymore

• he’s forgotten all about his childhood in Derry, and the reunion he’d had with his childhood friends

• their final encounter with It had worked, It was dead

• even though he desperately didn’t want it to, the forgetting had begun again (this time permenantly)

• but

• every now and then, Richie will see someone in the street with short and perfectly curled hair

• he gets the strongest urge to call out to them

• but when they turn around and he sees their face, he’s always disappointed, but he never knows why

• the day he was driving to propose to his boyfriend of three years, the radio was playing throwback songs to the 1980’s

• just as he was pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant Making Love Out Of Nothing At All comes on

• he is hit with a powerful ache of nostalgia

• all he can do is sit there, eyes closed and listening to this song, reliving something he had long since forgotten but it must have been so good

• “why do you want sufganiyots as one of the deserts in our wedding Richie? It’s nowhere near Hanukkah”

“Because they look fucking delicious, that’s why. And, you said I couldn’t have that “northern lapwing”, or whatever it’s name was, statue that I wanted, so I get this.”

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glowstickhaloboy · 8 years ago

Text

i heard u like the premise of a ghost hunters au

The house was silent and dark. If not for the infrared on his camera, Colin wouldn’t have been able to see a thing. Still, he jumped when Antoinette--clad in black but incredibly pale--edged into frame. “Oh!” He laughed a little. “You spooked me, Annie.”

She glanced back at him, a pair of glowing eyes on a swamp-green screen. “Okay. Is this different from every other time, or…?”

“No, it’s the same.”

“Okay. Do you want to place the still-cameras upstairs or should I?”

“I don’t want to trip on the stairs.”

Antoinette rolled her eyes. “Of course you don’t. Fine, I’ll be right back. Give me the bag.”

Colin surrendered the bag on his shoulder to her, watched her go up the stairs via his tiny screen. He hadn’t really learned how to use his screen to navigate a room yet, owing to the wonky depth perception, so mostly he stumbled around houses until he got to where he needed to go or fell down trying. They had gotten the proper permits to visit the house, but hadn’t actually been inside before tonight. It was a lot more… occupied… for a haunted house than Colin had been expecting. Tables and chairs and furniture everywhere.

He clambered his way toward the kitchen, noisily banging his legs on everything he passed, and when he knocked a picture off the mantle, he pointedly blamed it on a ghost. Seamless cover. “Ghosts are always causing trouble,” he told the camera. “Keepin’ you on your toes. Gotta watch out.”

At last, Colin made it to the kitchen. He felt like a sailor throwing a plank down to go ashore. Destination reached.

Man, this place was really nice. Why was it abandoned? Colin would so move in here. It had an island counter and a nice fireplace and an electric stove. (The very instant the words electric stove crossed his mind, Colin made a face at himself and internally groaned. No. Gross. Stop being an adult. Find ghosts.)

“Now, how the hell am I gonna--alright, listen audience, everyone knows ghosts hate the light, but I have no idea how I thought I could set this camera up in the dark. Oh well, too late now. Here we go.”

He set the camcorder down on the counter in what he thought was an approximation of where he would be standing in order to place a still camera on the island counter. The bag zipper, however, was impossible to find. Colin could feel the camera clunking around as he held it up on his knee, but he couldn’t get the stupid thing out. “Come on,” he muttered. “Come on, you little… Get out of there. Ghosts, help me out here. Release!”

Wouldn’t it be funny if a ghost actually did help me? he thought.

He screamed and flailed as something touched his shoulder. The only reason he didn’t drop the camera and break it was because it was Antoinette that had touched him, and she caught the bag by the strap and confiscated it.

“Idiot,” she muttered.

Colin clutched a hand over his heart. “Annie!” he protested. “You scared the literal Devil out of me! The Devil’s loose, and now he’s running through this abandoned house.”

She said, “Boo.”

He sniffed. “Not funny.”

“I didn’t laugh, but it was to me.” He could still hardly see her. She was an abstract voice emanating from a vague outline. “I set up three cameras upstairs and you haven’t even set up one. I know that we’re going to be here all night, but we should probably get some investigating done in the meantime.”

“I was working on it,” Colin insisted. “But. Um. Since you have the bag...”

“Go pick up your camcorder, idiot. I’ll take care of this. Wait for me in the living room.”

Colin let out a breath of relief. “Thanks, Annie,” he said. He recollected his camera, pleased to have some sense of sight again. On his way out, he turned back to ask, “Hey… Is it just me, or does this place seem… weirdly furnished?”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Antoinette muttered, barely perceptible. “Owner probably died. Think they’re still lingering around?”

A shiver went up Colin’s spine. “Don’t say it that way. Hopefully, we get something tonight, but not someone recently dead. That’s sad. Aw, man, now it feels like we really are trespassing.”

He went off into the living room, sulking, until he remembered that this was a night that only came once every two weeks. Every second and fourth Friday, he and Antoinette journeyed to a new destination, usually in New York, where local rumors boasted of a haunt. And this abandoned building was a spot Colin had been aching to investigate since he’d first heard of it. It had taken awhile for the permits to go through--but they had, and now he and Annie were here, and nothing was going to ruin it for him.

The only abnormality that announced Antoinette’s presence was the pinprick green light on her camera. Even still, Colin started a little until he confirmed with infrared that it really was her.

He wasn’t even going to get into the can of worms that was ghost hunting with someone as scary and soundless as Antoinette. She frightened Colin more often than the actual ghosts did.

“All that’s left is the basement,” she told Colin, “but I think our floor plan is off. It said there would be two bedrooms upstairs, but there were three, and the bathroom was down here, not up there. So who knows if there even is a basement? Leave it to city hall to find out.”

Colin gasped, his eyes lighting up. “Annie,” he breathed, “What if the ghost changes the rooms?”

She blinked.

“You are the stupidest person I have ever met.”

“Aww, Annie, come on!”

“Are you seriously suggesting,” she asked, “ that rather than some lazy asshole with a boring day job mixing up a couple of papers he doesn’t care about, we have encountered a ghost that can manipulate reality?”

Colin nodded fervently. Antoinette groaned.

“Think of how cool it would be, Annie!” he insisted.

She said, “Whatever. We aren’t talking about this right now. We’re going to put a still camera in the basement.”

Colin acquiesced. He followed her to the basement, relying mostly on his infrared camera not to tumble down the stairs and break his neck. Once they reached the bottom, he graciously allowed Antoinette to set up the final still camera. While she did that, he got shots of the basement’s structure and his friend, hunched over, working. He was itching to get back up to the living room and do a preliminary EVP.

Something slammed upstairs. Colin jumped, turning as a unit with Antoinette to stare at the ceiling.

He whispered, “What was that?”

Antoinette shrugged, but her stoicism had taken the backseat for now and left the foreground open for a prickly curiosity. Slowly, she got to her feet, as a new and altogether unsettling noise sounded upstairs.

“Footsteps,” Colin breathed.

Antoinette readied her camcorder. “Let’s go check it out.”

Adrenaline flooded Colin’s systems. His knees began to shake, as they always did; he was excited and scared at the same time, but more so the former. That was one of the positives of having Antoinette here--she made Colin brave.

Together, they faced the stairs. Colin went first, emboldened by the possibility of documenting the paranormal. He reached the door, grabbed the knob, and twisted. All at once, he and Antoinette spilled out the door and staggered backward, shouting and blinking in the unexpectedly harsh light. There was another shout, a third one, that final nail of confusion that stuck the coffin shut.

“What the hell? Who are you? What are you doing in my house?”

Antoinette straightened almost immediately. She grabbed Colin, who was still dazed and attempting recovery, and covered his mouth.

“This is a misunderstanding,” she said. Since Colin had her to ground him, he was able to find his bearings. Standing in the center of the living room, loose tie in one hand and cellphone in the other, was probably the most immediately-attractive man Colin had ever seen. With his golden hair and his brown eyes he was just… ugh. Colin was speechless even in his own head. Thoughtless. He didn’t know true beauty had existed until this moment. Wow. Spectacular.

The guy said, “Go on.”

Colin usually trusted Antoinette’s judgment--when she covered his mouth, he tended to sit back and let her handle things. But he had to talk to this guy. Quick as lightning, he pulled her hand back. She, not expecting it, was stunned enough to let him get a few words out.

“Hi, I’m Colin and I-!”

And then the muzzle was back, and Colin growled in frustration. The guy blinked like he thought what he was seeing might change.

“We thought no one lived here,” said Antoinette, at the same time that Colin’s phone began to buzz in his pocket. He had left it running, even though he usually didn’t, because there hadn’t been anybody outside to greet them like… there normally… was.... and he wanted to see if someone would try to get in touch with him about that… Oh.

Colin reached into his pocket and brandished his phone for Antoinette’s benefit. She rolled her eyes and took it from him, holding a one second finger out to Peter. “Yeah? Yeah, there was a mix-up. I understand. We’ll be there in a minute.”

She hung up.

“Sorry about that,” she said to the stranger, offhandedly returning Colin’s phone. Again, he attempted to claw her hand away, but her iron-hard grip was unrelenting. “We are at the wrong house. We are supposed to be at the abandoned house on Beedle Street, not the occupied house on Bundle Street. We no doubt have my bumbling colleague’s butterfingers and his phone’s autocorrect feature to blame for this. We used GPS to get here.”

“Um. Right,” said the guy. Colin desperately wanted to know his name. Probably something romantic, like Giovanni or Mercutio.

Antoinette sighed in obvious resentment of the situation. “We also have several cameras around your house that we’ll need to collect before we go.”

“Why the hell did you need cameras?” yelled Mr. Stunning, throwing his arms wide.

Colin was more insistent than ever that Antoinette remove her hand, but it was pointless. He may as well have been a minnow trying to swim against the current.

“We are paranormal investigators,” explained Antoinette. “We were searching your house for ghosts.”

Mr. Breathtaking snorted. “Ghosts? You believe in-”

“Yes. My partner’s feelings are fragile. Don’t criticize what we do.”

Mr. Gorgeous’s eyes slid over to Colin, who immediately stopped struggling and melted into a relaxed position. When he found he couldn’t offer a charming smile, he resorted to no small amount of batting his eyelashes.

“Uhhhhhkay?”

Antoinette steered Colin toward the stairs and shoved him up the first few. “Go,” she hissed. To Mr. Future-Husband, she said, “While he takes our cameras down, I’ll do my best to explain this so you don’t sue us. I can prove that we are who we say we are. Let me bring up our website...”

Reluctantly, Colin followed Antoinette’s orders. As much as he wanted to, they couldn’t actually trespass in this guy’s house all night just because of a mix-up. So, he trudged upstairs, alone, without an especially attractive face to accompany him, by himself. He satisfied as much of his curiosity as he could justify in his search for the cameras (because how could he know where Antoinette had placed them, after all?). He didn’t snoop through Mr. Heavenly’s underwear drawer or anything, but he learned that he kept his bedroom was tidy and that his body wash was called GEOSHOCK.

Sighing dejectedly, Colin tried his best to stall, but Antoinette shouted up the stairs for him to get a move on, so he gathered the rest of their equipment and mentally prepared himself for his last few seconds in close proximity to his soul mate. At the bottom of the stairs, he found Antoinette and Peter sitting on opposite ends of the couch in an uncomfortable silence.

“Finally,” said Antoinette, standing. She unloaded a few bags off Colin and took them for herself. “Sorry again, Peter.”

Colin’s eyes went wide. Peter. “That’s a beautiful name,” he blurted.

Peter, looking thoroughly startled, said, “Thanks? Um. Can I have my house back?”

Colin deflated. “Yeah…”

Antoinette herded Colin outside and back to the van across the street. When she was situated in the driver’s seat, and Colin in the passenger seat, she turned her camcorder on him. “Want to tell our viewers what just happened, Colin?” she asked.

Colin sighed into his hand. “We met the most beautiful man in the world,” he gushed. “We broke into his house, and he stole my heart.”

In the viewfinder, a pale hand reached over and slapped the side of Colin’s head. “I meant,” came Antoinette’s hostile voice, “maybe call yourself out for putting the wrong address into your GPS and making us commit a misdemeanor.”

Colin gave her a loving blink. “But I think it was worth it.”

Frustrated, Antoinette growled and turned the camera on herself. “This idiot brought us to the wrong house. We were beginning an investigation and the owner walked in--reasonably confused and upset.”

“Annie, I think I’m in love,” said Colin. “I think I’m gonna marry him.”

Antoinette took a moment to stare at nothing. She mumbled, “I hate you,” and shut off the camera. The van in gear, they corrected their destination and made up for lost time by setting up quickly and, in Colin’s case, actually concentrating on the investigation.

+ + +

The Accidental Investigation quickly became their most popular episode to date. It was a hit. And while reviewing the footage, Colin and Antoinette realized something very important--they’d left a camera, on and recording, in Peter’s basement. Which was both a horrible invasion of privacy and totally awesome, because it meant that Colin had an excuse to go back and see Peter!

Tuesday night, after regular work hours, Colin drove up to Bundle Street and knocked on the door. After a moment of rocking back and forth on his heels on the doorstep, Colin was again graced with the most beautiful face in the known universe. Peter. Sigh. Gorgeous.

“Oh! Uh…” Peter’s face flushed cherry red. He stared down at the ground and stammered for a minute before Colin thrust out an introductory hand.

“Hi! I’m Colin. We didn’t really get to meet properly last time because Antoinette was covering my mouth to stop me from talking. But it’s nice to actually talk to you now! Did you know that our video of you is our most viewed clip? Isn’t that cool?”

Peter said, “Yes, I did know. I saw it.”

Colin was positively glowing. “Really? What did you think?”

“Um,” said Peter. “Is there a reason you’re here again?”

Colin hung his head, disheartened at having to get to the point so soon. He said, “Yeah. Annie and I accidentally forgot a camera here when we came over. In your basement. I came back to get it. And to see you of course!”

Peter’s flush was not fading. He stepped back from the doorway and let Colin in.

“Really cool to be invited in this time!” Colin enthused. Peter mumbled something awkward and incoherent and escorted Colin to the basement door. Colin, meanwhile, was already scheming on ways to prolong his stay. If this was a stop-and-go visit, he would spend the night drowning in ice cream and Netflix. He knew this was meant to be.

Peter stood at the top of the stairs and let Colin go first. When Colin realized Peter wasn’t following him, he frowned. “Aren’t you coming?”

Peter shook his head. “The basement kind of creeps me out,” he admitted. “I don’t use it for anything.”

Not even laundry, thought Colin, recalling the side-room off of the kitchen. He shrugged and plodded down the rest of the steps.

And there was something curious. In the corner of the room, what Colin saw now conflicted with what he had watched on Friday with his own two eyes--Antoinette standing the camera up and declaring it sturdy. Sometime between that moment and this one, it had toppled over on its face. As if someone had stood behind it and kicked it over, but there hadn’t been enough room behind it for a person to stand. Colin cocked his head to the side. “Hey, Peter?” he called. (Ah, the feeling of that name on his tongue. Peter. How magnificent love was.)

Uncertainly, Peter called back, “Yeah?”

“You said you don’t come down here, right? So you didn’t mess with this camera at all?”

“No. I didn’t even know it was here.” And now, he descended a few steps to take a closer look, arms crossed over his chest, still not really broaching the territory line into actual basement. “Why? Is something wrong?”

Colin pursed his lips. “Um. Probably nothing. Gravity and all that. Must have been that Annie knocked it over when we heard you coming in. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

But Colin, who swore by the lawbook of the supernatural world, was already worried about it, and in fact planning to spend the night fastforwarding through several days’ worth of footage to see what had happened to it. Carefully, he picked up the camera. The lens was not damaged, nor the camera itself, nor the tripod. In fact, the tripod was still very much a triangle, no flimsy leg slacking on the job to suggest that the camera had fallen due to a standing error.

Weird.

Without the camera bag on hand, Colin simply scooped the equipment into his arms and carried it up the steps. Peter was watching him carefully, which Colin enjoyed for all sorts of reasons. That knowledge eradicated all thoughts of ghosts and peculiarities from his head.

“Is that all?” asked Peter. “I’m, um, in the middle of something.”

Disappointed even further, Colin said, “Yeah, that’s all. Only, you didn’t answer my question!”

“Which question?”

“What did you think of the video?”

Peter’s scarlet face returned, which Colin found so adorable that he choked up a little bit. He would have to tell Antoinette about it later. Peter mumbled something that Colin didn’t really hear because he was too busy staring at Peter’s face, then shut the door. Colin let out a long, dreamy sigh.

Only then did he remember that his pledge to marry Peter had been tacked onto the end of that footage--Antoinette’s revenge for Colin misdirecting them. Oh. That explained a lot.

Colin tested his emotions. He found he wasn’t upset. How could he be, when he’d just gotten to see Peter again? His match made in Heaven?

Colin sighed again and started toward the van, picturing an autumn wedding and a legion of children. He carefully stored the camera equipment in the back so that it wouldn’t shift around too much, then got into the driver’s seat and set off for home.

#PeterAU #colin is shamelessly smitten all the time and i adore him #but seriously this boy is a mess someone help him #oh wait i guess thats why antoinette is there #SPEAKING OF WHICH #I LOVE MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER ANTOINETTE

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rhombology · 8 years ago

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I didn't get autocorrected. Sometimes I feel incredibly apathetic and I've really needed a lot of help but I'm too stubborn to do anything about it. Do you have any advice?

oh I’m sorry I thought you were, the sentence didn’t make sense to me at the time haha. But anyway. I do feel apathetic a lot of the time. About things that I’m supposed to really care about. Like college and driving and basically my entire future. I just don’t care. At all. Mostly because I have such little self esteem and I never thought I would live this long in the first place. Feeling apathy a lot most likely comes from some sort of mental illness, so first off don’t blame yourself. It’s your brain, not you. Also, don’t force yourself to do things that you used to enjoy just because you used to enjoy them. If there are things that make you feel anything positive (preferably) at all, then I’d say chase after that. Try finding new things. Things that you haven’t tried before or in a long time. If it’s motivation that you struggle with, then it’s always good to start small. That’s good for a lot of things really. My English teacher once told me that soldiers on a mission have to do seemingly impossible and huge things to accomplish their goal, but to make that seem easier, they break it down into very small and manageable steps. So if you need to go to school in the morning, just tell yourself to go to the bathroom first. Don’t think about anything else until you finish that step. And then get dressed. And then pack your lunch. Etc. I find this to be helpful when I have to study and do homework every day. Also the fear of failure overwhelms my sense of apathy when it comes to all things about grades (which probably isn’t good). This was long. I hope it helped even a little bit. I’m not an expert at anything really but I’ll always answer any questions you have for me

#anon #I hope this wasn't too stupid #erin answers

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waitingformyfavoritesongs · 2 years ago

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18 fe br u ar y 2023 Saturday Saturn 🪐

7:09 pmpdt I felt pain in my brain probably 2 inches deep from the top that felt as if acid w/sandpaper was making me feel a strange sensation of rawness & something else I have difficulty describing. 7:11 pmpdt

I have reviewed pictures that incubus put up taken by a probable apple iPhone that are mirrored. So it’s reversed showing a hand w/rose tattoo. 7:13 pmpdt #3????

9:13 pmpdt recalling in previous post (9:14 pmpdt autocorrect: a lot of stuff now I don’t remember exactly: comments war news (not together in this order. More #3 cramps ready to go 9:16 pmpdt I think they’re really killing me)

10:56 pmpdt I had a lot of #3 this evening & brain/head pain. 10:57 pmpdt feel tired sleepy 😴💤🛌

19 February 2023 Sunday sun🌤 12:51 pmpdt

incubus is still tearing apart my bones & probably joints. I guess I’m being faked out. I guess I deserve this. I can’t question incubus’ decisions to subject Jaycee dugard to kidnapping & rape when she was 11 years old. Incubus has his reasons. He’s still hurting my brain a lot & roasting me & making it harder to breathe. Bad things happened to people for years & the victims were blamed for years, & it seems it’s never going to stop. 12:56 pmpdt

2:35 pmpdt I think I am remembering this afternoon, that I had said something to a former friend about the 2nd guy, that might have been a half truth but I don’t remember what it was. I also said something to a different former friend that was a little misleading about the guy I fell in love with b4 my first real boyfriend somehow I made her believe that him & I were supposed to hang out & he didn’t call me back so I was waiting for him to call me back Bcz I really wanted to hang out with him & I think he was avoiding my calls intentionally & she got the impression he was standing me up from what I said but I think I told her I was waiting for him to call me back. I was weird. Going back to guy #2, I think my friend might have responded that she didn’t like the way he was treating me? Maybe he didn’t wholly deserve that impression Bcz he didn’t physically hurt me, & I guess in some way I should have realized Bcz I said what I said when I said it that by default w/o saying, it had turned into a hookup almost “friends with benefits” arrangement even though I thought we were going on dates to see if we were compatible. But after he kissed me & I had literally felt a magnet 🧲 ic pull to hug him we had a difficult time saying stop to each other even though I didn’t really enjoy kissing him I felt our lips were a mismatch. Pain 2:47 pmpdt I think I was being threatened by the incubus w/ pain felt like an organ in the left side under the lung? Coughing head pain 2:50 pmpdt & hot. I don’t remember what I said but I feel bad Bcz maybe it was a half lie? 2:51 pmpdt vag sting pain. But he was the best s*x I ever had & it only happened once w/him & w/clothing on which was stupid Bcz his ejaculation went through the pants 👖& I realized it right b4 it happened & pulled off. 2:54 pmpdt

2:57 pmpdt I think incubus lied to me about us being married & having children as karma. Maybe he thought he had to take it that far to teach me a lesson about lying about my feelings even though I was set up to lie a lot Bcz of my mom’s hardships. 2:59 pmpdt it’s almost not fair but whatever. He always has a reason even though I went celibate since I was 25, & if I didn’t see Scott again in 2010 I could even say since probably 2008. I dated a guy I thought was handsome but I resisted most of the time from doing intimate stuff w/ him. Once I felt like kissing him during a Batman movie but looked at him & he seemed to be going through something emotionally that made him look not available 3:05 pmpdt. 3:06 pmpdt

3:08 pmpdt I made some mistakes I guess that got misinterpreted & it became a huge mess/misunderstanding & I didn’t clear it up like I should have. & I think my mom also discouraged me from dating him maybe Bcz he didn’t finish his degree at UCB that he took a break from I guess 3:10 pmpdt I think I talked to him about it Bcz mom? Suggested it? 3:11 pmpdt

3:40 pmpdt incubus is burning my back. Think the nerves are being destroyed. Becomg a little difficult to discern. Probably the start of it dying days ago. The 2 friends I said stuff to sooner or later stopped talking to me. They just stopped w/o explaination but it is okay. Maybe I deserved that. 3:44 pmpdt

3:48 pmpdt I think incubus is destroying my muscles w/ heat in my back. I think incubus has been trying to tell me I’m crossed. As in angry is it? Definition? 3:51 pmpdt

3:55 pmpdt I thought it meant angry. It says annoyed.... yes, I become annoyed at a lot of stuff unfortunately probably Bcz I usually get sick ? & thought I had learned what the causes were but now seems incubus/pestilence is at the center of a lot of it. Maybe pestilence/incubus is the cross one, bcz it’s his way of forcing/manipulating us in to a lifestyle. My anal-ness maybe is then a reflection of his anal-ness. Justin Timberlake mirror song from 20/20 album? 4 pmpdt

4:05 pmpdt btw Scott frequently watched history channel on tv cable in 2010 or 2007? & he wanted me to watch “the birds” ? Movie Alfred Hitchcock? 4:07 pmpdt I accidentally type 3:05 when it was 4:05 HOT!!!!! 4:08 pmpdt-> boy/yob/job.

4:11 pmpdt I think incubus has been manipulating me for years to embarrass me, including making me forget about right & wrong? & motivated me to copy a movie including saying to me when I initially backed out of a plan to do something by saying to me in my head, this was sometime after a lot of head trauma & headaches & stress & I think whole arms & legs rashes w/swelling?, he said to me “you never follow through” as if to guilt me about it even though it was a bad decision a bad plan a bad thing to do. If you’ve looked at Brian Stowe you can figure that recovery takes a long time. I think I was not yet recovered from anything. , I don’t think Nick told me not to tell anyone but I guess it goes with out saying. 4:18 pmpdt accidentally typed gore & then incubus fired me in the left side again. I’m now expecting acid & something else I now forget. I think word got out about “friends with benefits” & I think incubus has been trying to get back at me for it. When Scott tried to whore shame me at the party in 2010 in June, he talked to a guy I have no memory of meeting b4. & then that guy asked me if I like friends with benefits. My feelings & thoughts were going back & forth, round & round, should I give him another chance? I should give him another chance Bcz am I going to ever meet another guy? I can’t do this anymore I like josh even if I can’t have josh I didn’t want to seee Scott again. When that guy asked me that, I replied: “if you want him, you can have him.” Lol. I saw one woman’s jaw drop & he looked embarrassed that he even asked. 4:26 pmpdt

4:36 pmpdt to clarify: incubus + company very rarely said anything to me in my head before 2017. There was a little yes & no answers I’m 2015/2016 but it felt unsure uncertain that it was a demon voice or my own head voice trying to make decisions about what to wear & if I should go outside now or later. The handful of stuff that they said to me b4 I realized what it was: something like “you can never have what your sister has” when I was in kindergarten wanting my own boyfriend after I heard my sister had one in her preschool class & it made me think I couldn’t find one of my own for many years - became self fulfilling prophecy even though it was from the demon lord/probably incubus’ father. When I was about 7 years old I’m thinking I really like this velvet? Suede? Christmas dress w/ dark green blue purple & I should save it for my future daughter, they chime in as if to clarify what they told me when I was 5 years old something like “what if you never have children/you’re not going to have children” 4:44 pmpdt I think they don’t chime in until that moment in time mentioned above that I never follow through, & then I think they jump in like a psychic prediction of what’s going to happen next at least 2 times 4:46 pmpdt nose 👃bone 🦴 pain.

7:47 pmpdt I think they’re going to give me the run around forever. Until I am dead. I think they’re going to keep telling me I’m worthy of being hated. Even though I snapped back to remembering about right & wrong & immediately regretted what I did even though I didn’t take it that far. I said “we should Not do that again.” She probably doesn’t remember. 7:51 pmpdt

I’ve been shy & anxious & scared most of my life & sometimes I didn’t remember why. 7:52 pmpdt I remember meeting a random guy I think he lived in the same town, & he asked me where have I been? Maybe he is one of those people who think they know everyone in town. Stayed home a lot. To do homework. Even though I procrastinated a lot. Watched tv. Chatting with random(stranger) guys online during my high school years after Nick. 7:55

11:04 pmpdt if you are a single mom I don’t know many resources but if you have not already seen an accountant maybe they can suggest something. Some accountants do a lot of stuff. One I met did: payroll, tax returns, etc (#3! 11:08 pmpdt)

20 February 2023 10:30 am pdt

I don’t think I can feel proud of anything anymore. this morning I woke up feeling like a 🍆d*ck 4 the speech I made for (a lot of gurgling probably more #3) I don’t remember most of it. But to make a speech about it, looking back at that, it was a really bad decision. I should have picked something else for educational purposes. 10:34 am pdt

I recently realized after looking at the pictures a couple of times each that incubus was trying to tell me without telling me, blinding me with ideas he’s my husband & we have children... was it that time?? Now I’m not sure of chronology ... Bcz when we went back home after Valentine’s Day 2003, after spending months from ≈October to February at my mom’s friend’s house, there were dark red roses on each step of the stairs. I originally thought it was our neighbor who had a crush on me who was a few years older. I should have asked him but I never did. He once messaged me after I told him about some guys I what talked to, naïvely confiding in him without naming names I think, that I was so pretty he wanted me for himself. He never did anything weird to me but I ran away from him after that. I also should have not assumed it was for me, bcz my sister loved blink182: she left me

roses by the stairs, surprises let me know she caaares. Say it ain’t so I will not go turn the lights on my little windmill 10:44 am pdt

the text jumped down by itself. I almost corrected it. 10:45 am pdt

black rose tattoo on cheek = Bella sick rose cheeky? The other tattoo w/ the unsolved mystery of the roses on the stairs ... the hand tattoo w/true love on it holding a rose, has been used to blind me of the secret message revealed by a camera that mirrors/reverses the image: e[ve], u r t[=crossed=annoyed=annoying?] evol[ve already.] he wants to blame me for not making better choices I guess...? 10:50 am pdt

the other picture I didn’t realize was about me until days? Ago... the white masks w/the emoji of a knife blade side towards behati. Black heart emoji. I’ve been having a lot of brain & skull pains this month & ever since the kiss by a mystery person w/my eyes closed. I’ve had a lot of brain trauma. I feel like this is punishment for complaining about it. I fear they’re making my head smaller both brain & skull. 10:54 am pdt it was planned . To make me confused. & keep me like a frog in a pot of slowly boiling water. 10:55 am pdt

10:57 am pdt I think w/ white mask (hockey game masks???? Hockey 🏒🏒🥅 he🏒🏒) they’re calling me prince Lucifer, & haughty. 10:59 am pdt (a lot of rumbly in my tumbly... tumblr=tumble? Jack & Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack yak ox fell down, heifer Thomas Jefferson, & broke his crown 👑🤴👸🏻💀 (head) & Jill came tumbling after. ☯️🔄🔃🔀🔁↔️♾💱➰➿ the run 🏃🏻‍♀️ around infinity ♾ Comcast? 11:03 am pdt

1:15 pmpdt I watched a reel from Instagram this morning? News 📰 including was it 36,000 people dead 💀 from the earthquake? That’s a lot of people. Apartment buildings???? Was it poorer Turkish people? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ much, ... I met at least one Turkish person in California I think I like 👍 & she goes back to visit probably every year. We don’t talk anymore. At first she scared me Bcz she kinda has a strong personality, she’s not afraid to use the word b*tch but often she will say sweet things. She’s not rough. It took me a while to adjust to her. (Brain pain a minute ago 1:21 pmpdt) I once said something btwn 2011-2014 in my apartment I think I recall. For some reason I said it out loud. I think it was Bcz 2012 was around the corner the Mayan ? Prophecy? I also (head pain 1:23 pmpdt) took computer 👩🏻‍💻 animation class in 2004? Maya was (brain pain 1:23 pmpdt) the program used. It was weird, but I said it’s not the end of the world 🌎, it’s only my death ☠️. 1:25 pmpdt

I didn’t know what was coming or if I was going to die. Maybe it was a sign 🪧 from god, my thought 💭. I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ much about history, but I once watched a movie 🎥 & an old lady character maybe 🤔 had post traumatic stress disorder & she often said “the Turks!” I guess there was a war & the Turks ? Scared her. I still don’t know what it was about. Are any of the Turkish people today bad? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️! 1:29 pmpdt what if they’re all very nice now? I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️!!!! 1:29 pmpdt

I don’t have any memory of the incubus being nice to me. 1:30 🕜 pmpdt at this point I don’t even know if around the clock 🕰 back to back love 💕 making would even convince me that I had his heart ❤️, even for a year (around the clock 🕰 back to back 1:33 pmpdt). I wouldn’t even know if it was really him Bcz I didn’t grow up with him, etc etc. 1:32 pmpdt

They probably selectively choose the type of things to do (right hip mid back spine pain 1:34 pmpdt) to commit to a role (big bubbling lower left side brain 🧠 pain 1:34 1:35 pmpdt) easy stuff. I awake up every day thinking I don’t think anyone had s*x w/ me since they “broke the news” news 📰 to me last≈ summer: 1:37 pmpdt I feel so different now I think 🤔 than how I used to feel. I used to want a best friend. Now I think I want to live on top of a mountain 🏔 like a hermit meditating 🧘🏻‍♀️ if I ever live past this & remain whole. Otherwise assisted suicide I will consider if I have to lose a big part of my body. 1:40 pmpdt maluma might be giving signs 🪧 that my pelvis? Area will break Bcz he’s holding his wrist & his hand is hovering over that part of his body. My wrist broke when adnan pushed me on Barbie roller skates 🛼. The words that came out of my mouth 👄 that made him angry enough to push me, all my life from the moment the words came out of my mouth 👄 didn’t even feel like it was from my control. It was part of my curse from incubus. Saint Lucia curse from kindergarten. B4 that I had given him $3 cash 💵 & I shared my favorite cereal 🥣 w/ the neighbors who were kids too w/ probably the intention of sharing w/ him too. Bcz he was cute. & I was interested in finding a boyfriend. 1:45 8 going on 9? Years old, I think. Bcz I was third grade? & parents separated not long b4 that. When I came back w/ my cast on, I yelled at him you broke my wrist! Then he yelled back “I’m glad I did it!” 1:48 pmpdt I don’t remember talking to him again. I remember he was in my group in class after returning to school 🏫 from having the chicken 🐔 pox & I think maybe that was b4 the roller skates 🛼 & cast on the wrist. Adnan. Nickname Ado. Close to the name Adam. I n class we were told he was a refuge from a country in Europe? But I forget which country. The thing I said had to do with kissing 😽. Makes me think it ties back to kiss of death ☠️ hockey 🏒 masks 🎭 picture. 1:52 pmpdt

2 pmpdt I believe my groin/pelvis will brake soon Bcz they’ve been chiseling off bone all around that part of my body since near end of 2017. 2:02 pmpdt

2:24 pmpdt incubus tore or broke more bone left thigh near the joint or at the joint 2:25 pmpdt I think incubus came to hurt me more btwn 2:02 & 2:23 pmpdt. Incubus is burning my lower back now 2:27 pmpdt exhaling hot air.

2:34 pmpdt I feel that I have diarrhea again. Need to go but don’t feel like getting up Bcz I’m probably tired Bcz he roasted my back again. 2:36 pmpdt

I think inncubus made me drink a lot of vinegar again. Don’t believe any pictures that look sappy? Incubus is not my man. 2:37 pmpdt

3:23 pmpdt I think my first real boyfriend broke up with me b4 Halloween 2005 b(heart pain 3:25 pmpdt ☠️♥️) but after school started 2005. I met his family: mom dad sister closest cousins. 3:26 3:27 I flew to his dads house in another state & a cousins wedding to which I borrowed my sister’s casual dress that I described as a dusty rose color, it was a beach wedding in La Jolla. 3:29 pmpdt he already lost his virginity & was intimidate w/ at least 2 people b4 me. & even after we got together made it boyfriend girlfriend titled after the friends w/ benefits phase, I think it might have been then that he still expressed attraction to the previous girlfriend.? Not sure. He admitted to me he was already looking for someone else to date after the fact to make me feel better about the timing. He put on his aol messenger away message “I’m going to see my baby!” When he left the area to drive to her when they were still together. A mutual friend said that he could not live with out her, after he broke up with me but he went to hang out with someone else who was not her. Maybe he told me he would never love me after he broke up with me to give me closure to make me move on. Which I really needed Bcz I wasn’t feeling what I needed to feel when I was with him. I had issues with feeling like I could be myself around anyone. 3:38 pmpdt a year+ of s*x does not mean anything to a guy. It doesn’t mean you have his heart. 3:40 pmpdt

3:41 pmpdt he was a child of divorce, too. So I don’t know if maybe had some issues , too & was trying too hard too. 3:42 pmpdt

3:44 pmpdt 3:43 a lot of back left ribs pain feels like he really means it when he says I deserve thus torture. I don’t recall breaking every bone in someone’s body intentionally & depriving them of the ability to breathe. Weird. 3:46 pmpdt

3:52 pmpdt in 2010 after Scott stopped talking to me again I remember seeing a silver scion like Scott’s cross my path wherever I went. (Diarrhea cramps & gurgling 3:53 pmpdt) boxy like the Kia Soul.

3:57 pmpdt Scott drove (acid pain in throat left hip bone 3:57) white cars in 2007 & 2010. 3:59 I feel like incubus is trying to make me think I am a bad person Bcz I mayb didn’t share toys very well when I 3, 7, 8 years old. Should I be concerned? 😭is that why you made Jaycee dugard get kidnapped & raped???? 4:03 pmpdt

4:05 4:06 pmpdt it was always only 1 silver scion at a time I think at least once a day. Other cars I would see multiples of, or same similar colors in groups together 4:08 pmpdt running/driving in traffic or parked in lots 4:09 pmpdt I feel like it doesn’t matter what I did, it doesn’t matter to incubus; that whatever they decided would happen is the hand I have been dealt. 4:10 pmpdt

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