#also my mom wants to do a family bowling day tomorrow and i dont want to have to bail on that | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

smoochkooks · 4 years

Text

—christmas cream(pie) ; (m.)

⟶ pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

⟶ genre: established relationship, smut, fluff

⟶ word count: 3.6k

⟶ summary: a day before christmas dinner with your boyfriend's parents, you discover another alternative way to use the chocolate cream you’re making. jungkook is more than willing to indulge in your little fantasy.

⟶ warnings: explicit sexual content, food play, finger-sucking, spit kink, dirty talk, oral (f) receiving, slight choking but nothing too extreme, unprotected sex, creampie, jungkook being the sweetest boyfriend on the earth and your emotional support, tooth-rooting domestic fluff:(

a/n: hi!! this is my little christmas present for you. hope you enjoy what my brain came up with yesterday<3 ps. i also dont know what kind of fic title this is.

Christmas secure a top spot on your own self-made list of holidays. You enjoy practically every aspect of it. The food, decorating your house, songs, movies, the whole magical aura of warmth and love – you name it.

But this year though, you're fiddled with anxiety because it's the first time you're going to celebrate with your boyfriend Jungkook and his parents.

You've been dating for two lovely years, living in a shared apartment for almost six months but somehow you've never spent any major holiday together. Until now, it actually felt like a step bigger than moving in. Choosing to be with your families and celebrate separately was never an issue for both of you.

And foolishly, you thought this year would be no like the other, that you'll kiss your sweet boyfriend goodbye before Christmas Eve and reunite after the whole shenanigans would end. But to your surprise, Jungkook had different plans for you.

“Y-your parents did what?”

“They invited us for a Christmas dinner.” he repeated calmy, completely unfazed by the pure shock marring your features.

He was sprawled on the couch, hair messy and falling onto his forehead because he had been avoiding barbershops lately (it wasn’t like you minded it–if anything, it made him look even sexier). He was wearing your favorite pair of sweats that had a soy sauce stain on the left knee and a simple black t-shirt, yet for you he looked like an angel sent from the above and devil reincarnated at the same time. So deliciously domestic and soft it almost made you wanna jump him right here and there, if it wasn't for the more nagging matters that you had yet to discuss with him.

“But,” you stuttered, brain too consumed by nerves to help you formulate coherent sentences. “I was visiting your parents in Busan over summer.”

“Yeah, but it's been a while and they really want to see you again,” he said, raising from his spot. He came up to you, his tall, lean body towering over your form. The moment you saw his sparkly doe eyes boring holes into yours, you knew you were approximately twenty seconds from giving in. “Pretty please.” he tried again, palms cupping your flushed cheeks until you had no choice but to agree.

“Okay.”

Jungkook grinned in response and leaned to press a chaste kiss onto your lips. “Love you, baby.” He tasted like spicy noodles and soda but you ignored it, mustering a small smile.

“Love you too.” you said, always meaning those three little words because truly, you could never resist Jeon Jungkook and his charms. He had you wrapped around his finger more than you'd ever admit and you'd simply do anything to make him happy, even if that meant stressing over a Christmas dinner with his parents.

“They really like you, ___. You have nothing to worry about.” Jungkook murmured upon kissing your nose, and then forehead. “My mom is already so excited to see you. She said she would make an apple pie because you once mentioned you liked it.”

You leaned into his touch, slightly less angry you had been surprised with a revelation like that but at the same time still apprehensive and filled with nerves. “You aren't making this easier, you know?” you asked.

Jungkook sent you an apologetic smile. “You're amazing, baby. You don't need to convince my parents again that you're the right person for me,” he said, hands finding purchase on your waist and pulling you closer to him. “All you have to do is smile and compliment my mom's cooking skills. And maybe ask dad about fishing. You know he's been crazy about it lately.”

Easier said than done, you thought to yourself. Jungkook was a natural when it came to bewitching people. Your parents adored him because he knew all the right words to make them fall for his charms. He didn’t have to try hard or pretend to be someone else in order to be accepted as their daughter’s partner.

You, on the other hand, were on a different side of the spectrum. No matter how many times Jungkook reassured you of your worth, you still had a lot of insecurities to deal with. That was just who you were as a person. Maybe it was why you clicked so well together. You needed someone to be your second Sun.

“You got his.” With a final kiss onto the crown of your head, Jungkook left you standing in the middle of the living room, and all you could think about was a fricking apple pie and finding new ways to impress your boyfriend's parents.

Hence way you're currently in the kitchen, blender in your right hand as you mix the ingredients for the most extra chocolate cake you've ever made, determination written all over your features like you’re competing in the final Bake Off episode.

And why is that? Because your brain couldn't let you sleep peacefully at night if you didn't decide to bake your own cake for Jungkook's mother. It started innocently, slowly getting information out of your boyfriend about his parents' favorite food. Of course, you had to be clever about it, so he wouldn't suspect anything too early into the game. That's why after asking a round of rather specific questions you lured him into a blowjob because you know he usually loses his goddman mind after a good dick sucking.

Content with your plan, you're now a day before the Christmas dinner, Jungkook's mother's beloved cake almost ready to be put into the oven.

“Babe, I'm home!” you hear Jungkook calling from the corridor. You sent him to do some (un)necessary grocery shopping so you could have a time for yourself to prepare the cake without him looking over your shoulder and analyzing your every move. You really hate when people do that because you’re more likely to screw something when you’re being watched.

“Let me taste it then,” he says, grabby hands reaching for the bowl but you quickly swat them away.

“I'm here!” you shout back, unplugging the blender once you're satisfied with your chocolate cream.

“What is the smell?” Jungkook asks, entering the kitchen. “Oh,” he quips, placing grocery bags on the floor. “You made this?”

“Mhmm,” you hum, dipping a finger into the bowl and then putting it into your mouth. It tastes good, not too sweet but at the same time it still has a strong chocolate flavor. Perfect.

“Wash your hands first.”

“Wait,” You can almost hear the gears shifting in his brain. His grip on your waist tightens as you desperately try to stifle the laugh babbling in your throat. “This is my mom's favorite cake.”

Jungkook dramatically salutes you, even though you see him smirking under his breath. Once his hands are all clean and dry, you feel his arms encircling your body from the back. “Is this for me?” he murmurs, obviously referring to the cake.

“Nope. It's for tomorrow's Christmas dinner.”

That’s why you break into a smile, pulling him for a quick peck. “You can taste my cream now.” you say.

“Great observation.”

“And you said you were making it for the Christmas dinner,” Jungkook continues, “Which means you did this purposely.” he finishes, twirling your body so you're now facing him.

“You said she would make me an apple pie so I thought I could reciprocate the kindness and do the same,” An innocent smile tugs at your lips. “Besides, the more food the better.”

Jungkook snorts. “So here's why you were asking me all those weird questions lately.”

Your eyes widen. “You paid attention to that?”

“Babe, I might be a simple man who enjoys seeing his girlfriend sucking his dick but it doesn't mean I don't listen to you,” he says, sounding slightly offended but you know that deep down he's amused by the whole situation. “You didn't have to do that, you know?”

You let out a long sigh. “I know but... I just felt so weird. Your parents are so happy to see us, they are doing all those preparations and I couldn't stop thinking about doing something to impress them in return,” you murmur. “So they wouldn't think it preparing a whole celebratory dinner for their son and his girlfriend was actually pointless.” you add in a smaller voice, dropping your head down. 

“Baby,” Jungkook coos, fingers grasping your chin so you could look him in the eye again. “You're an amazing person. My parents know that too. You don't have to prove them your worth. Ever.”

His words make you relax visibly. You don’t know what you would do if you didn’t have Jungkook by your side. He’s just being himself, showing you his extremely caring side as he usually does when you feel down but somehow you’re more thankful for this now.

You dip your index finger into the cream. Then, making sure his eyes are trained on your face, you bring your finger up and envelop with your lips, purposely sucking on it obscenely. “Mmm,” you nothing but moan. “It’s really good.”

“That sounded awfully sexual.”

“No, it did not! You're just perverted.”

“But you love me anyway, don't you?”

You snort at his stupid remark. Suddenly, a not-so-innocent idea pops in your mind and you wonder who’s actually the one with more inappropriate thoughts running through their head. Jungkook might enjoy teasing you on daily basis, but a girl can have her fun too, right?

Jungkook's eyes darken seeing your little stunt you’ve decided to pull today. He bites the inside of his cheek, before saying,”’I know what game you’re playing.”

“I’m not doing anything.” you respond, feigning innocence. Before you can dive for more cream, Jungkook grabs your wrist and stops you.

Bingo.

When he takes his two fingers and plunges them into the cream, you know exactly what’s coming next, the adrenaline and excitement pumping through your veins. He brings his fingers up towards your face and you have to fight an urge to stay still, waiting for his instructions like the good girl you obviously are. “Open up, baby.”

You oblige immediately, mouth falling open and tongue out. He pushes his fingers inside, sweet, chocolate cream filling your taste buds. “Suck.” he says simply, eyes fixated on your lips. You do it without a second thought, swirling your tongue around his digits and making sure to lick every last drop of the substance.

When he decides he can't take it anymore, he pulls his fingers out of your mouth and before you can even blink, he crashes his lips onto yours; fast, messy and unforgiving, thrusting his tongue inside to play with yours. His motives are clear: you aren’t leaving the kitchen without getting properly fucked.

“So sweet,” he murmurs against your lips, the hand around your waist pulling you flush against him. “My cute girlfriend thought she could tease me and get away with it.”

He bites onto your lower lip as to prove his point and you whimper. “It’s not like that,” you manage to say, grinding yourself against the evident bulge in his pants. “I didn’t expect to get away with it.”

Jungkook's hands travel to the backs of your thighs and he lifts you up effortlessly, placing you on the counter. You’re sure there are traces of flour still on it but you couldn’t care less right now, not when a pair of hands roughly nudges your legs apart so he could stand in between them.

“So you did it purposely,” Jungkook leaves your mouth in favor of tracing kisses down your neck. Careful not to marry your skin with hickeys because you would beat the shit out of him if he did bruise your neck a day before the dinner with his parents. “Naughty girl.” He punctuates his statement with a bite to your earlobe, his next words being whispered directly into your ear. “What should I do with you, then?”

You whimper, your thighs pressing together just hearing the tone of his voice. You lace your fingers through the locks at the back of his hair and place a kiss against his lips. “Fuck me?” you ask in a saccharine-sweet tone.

He chuckles in response, fingers grasping your t-shirt and pulling it off you, revealing your bare chest to his hungry eyes. He wastes no time and latches his mouth onto a nipple but as soon as his tongue meets your hardened bud, he retreats. Confused, you watch as he reaches for the bowl once again and dips his fingers into the cream. He then smears it all over your nipples, a proud smirk caught on his lips when he leans back to admire his art work.

“Kook,” you mewl, too pathetically for your liking and you know how much it’ll stroke his ego. “Please, touch me.” you plea, one of your hands reaching to pull him closer to you.

“Yeah?” His chuckle is almost sinister. “Look at you, all dirty and begging me so nicely. Not that smart with your mouth now, are you?”

All you manage is a nod and meek “Please,” that quickly morphs into a drawn out moan when he finally dips his head to suck your nipple into his hot mouth. You never could have guessed that the idea of food play would be so arousing to you but here you are, pussy clenching around nothing when your sweet boyfriend licks chocolate cream off your boobs.

When he’s done and satisfied with the result, he grabs your sweatpants and pulls them down along with your underwear in one go, your bare ass meeting with the cold marble of your kitchen counter. Jungkook wastes no time and spreads your legs apart, not giving you a second to shy away from his burning gaze before he dives in to lick a stripe up your slit.

You cry out in pleasure when his tongue finds your clit and gives it a sharp suck, his hands grabbing your ankles and bending your knees so he could have a full access to your glistening core. You’re absolutely drenched, dripping down your thighs and making a mess on Jungkook's face but he doesn’t mind it a bit, eating you out like a champ you know he is.

“So wet,” he rasps against your cunt. “Messy girl.”

To make matters worse (or better) he takes his sweet time and lets a glob of his spit mix with your arousal because Jungkook, much like you, enjoys giving a head more than anything in the world and makes it his priority to see you lose it on his tongue. You’re positive you will come like this if he keeps continuing abusing your clit just right. He knows your pussy like the back of his hand. Knows what makes you keen, how to make you eyes roll to the back of your head. It fuels his ego to see you like this; helpless and utterly devoted to the pleasure and you don’t even mind when he brags about it later. How could you if you benefit so much from it?

Suddenly, he grunts into your cunt and your brows furrow because it’s not the sound you’re used to hearing during sex. You look down to check what’s wrong but he’s already up and in level with your eyes, a sheepish smile adoring his features.

“Neck cramp,” he explains, his palm massaging the back of his neck. “Eating pussy is easier on the bed.” You can’t help but giggle, replacing his hand with yours and providing him a temporary relief. “I’m sorry. Were you close?” he asks.

There he is. Your sweet, caring boyfriend who never forgets to ask for consent before railing you into the mattress and always putting your pleasure before his own.

“Mhmm,” you hum, grasping his t-shirt and lifting it off his body. It should be considered a sin to look like this, you think to yourself. “But I want to come on your cock instead.”

Jungkook grins, quickly pulling down his pants and underwear. His cock slaps against his stomach, pride swelling in your chest because you know you can make him this hard without your touch. “How do you want it?” he asks, guaranteeing himself a moment of relief when he gives his cock a few pumps, spreading precum all over his length.

“Like that,” you answer, gesturing at your current position on the counter. “Wanna see you.”

“Anything for my pretty girl.”

If you weren't already red, you would have blushed at his cute words. The sentiment doesn’t last long though, your face twisting in ecstasy when he lines himself up with your entrance and starts pushing inside, the stretch deliciously burning. “Oh my god, Kook,” you whimper, hand clutching onto his biceps for support. “So big. You feel so good.” He groans, slithering himself deeper. His forehead rests onto yours, few ragged breaths before you murmur, “You can move.”

He sets a punishing pace from the beginning, fucking you hard and fast; wet, slapping noises filling the kitchen. You’re a blubbering mess, moaning incoherently as he splits your pussy open, thrust after thrust. “Yeah, fucking take it,” Jungkook rasps, grabbing your hips even harder, no doubt leaving there marks. “Cream my cock like a good girl.”

You mewl in response, your eyes focusing on his parted lips. “J-jungkook,” you stutter, head completely deprived of rational thoughts. “Spit in my mouth.” It’s almost a breathless plea on your tongue.

He curses, his right hand squeezing your cheeks. “Open.” You do it right away, nearly moaning when he purses his lips and spits, eyes almost bulging out of his head when he sees you swallow it greedily. “Dirty fucking girl.” he growls.

“B-but you love it, right?” you whimper, eyes glossy because he's hitting that spot inside your pussy that makes your toes curl. “L-love when I’m like this just for you.”

“Fuck, yeah I do,” Jungkook says, placing his hand around your throat. He doesn’t apply pressure and simply rests it there, urging you to look directly at him. “I love when my pretty baby becomes a dirty slut for me.” He punctuates his words with a harsh buck of his hips that makes you cry out.

You can't take it anymore. “K-kook,” you whine, grabbing his wrist and urging him to squeeze your throat. “I love you.”

Despite his hand around your neck and cock abusing your cunt, he breaks into a smile. He leans down to kiss you on your putty lips. You try to keep up with him but there’s no use for that, so you just open your mouth and let him slither his tongue inside. When he pulls away, your lips are wet with saliva. Messy, but you wouldn’t exchange it for anything less. “Love you too, baby.” he groans in a strained voice, dragging his cock fast through your walls.

As if reading your mind, his thumb reaches to rub fast circles on your clit. “’m so close,” you mumble, thighs shaking.

“C'mon, pretty. Wanna see you come around me.” Jungkook murmurs, gone is his dominant aura, it’s now only his gentle voice coaxing you into an earth-shattering orgasm.

When you come down from your high, you’re swatting his fingers away from your core. Normally you would probably indulge into it more, but oversensitivity seems to be too much to handle for you today. Jungkook thrusts his hips a few more times and follows right after you, groaning your name and spilling himself inside.

“That was nice.” he comments breathlessly and you can’t help but chuckle, widing your arms around his neck and pulling him for a well-deserved kiss.

“I’m too tired to move my legs and somebody needs to finish the cake,” you pout, not an ounce of exaggeration in your statement because that’s utterly true–you’re always too spent after a round of fucking with Jungkook to even go to the bathroom on your own. He gladly carries you there in his arms bridal-style every, single time.

“It's okay, sweetheart. I’ll do it.” he says, making you giggle under your breath triumphantly.

You might be willing to do everything for you boyfriend but if anything, you’re equal in that department.

“I’m also pretty sure there’s flour on my ass.”

Jungkook raises his brow at you. “That I’m not going to clean.”

“Fine. But next time I'm putting whipped cream on your dick.” you decide.

When he pulls out of you, his cum spills out of your hole but he's quick to catch the droplets and push them back inside you with his fingers. “You’re a little minx, you know that, right?” he says and then licks his digits clean.

“You love me anyway.” He grins, leaning to kiss you but he stops mid-way. “What is it?” you ask, raising your brows.

“Since I came inside you, we can call it a creampie, right?”

Still slightly dazed after sex, you’re not quick enough to realise what he implies before it’s too late. “I mean yes but–oh my god. No, no, no! Stop!”

“Cream-pie!”

“I hate you!”

“And I love you too.”

After all, you were worrying about the dinner too much, as always.

Everybody complimented your cake. Jungkook's mother was delighted. His father talked about fishing for almost an hour.

But your sweet boyfriend's smirking face as he ate the cake was telling you were in for a long night of sinning in your bed as soon as you went back home.

And he obviously didn’t disappoint.

#jungkook smut #btswritingcafe #btswriterscollective #btsbookclub #ksmutclub #bangtanarmynet #smutcentralnet #bangtanhq

1K notes · View notes

watchmegetobsessed · 6 years

Text

Crush // Shawn Mendes mini-series part 2

part 2 wohoooo!! this is honestly such a cute story i love writing it, im currently finishing the last part so i’ll probably update very soon!

part 1

masterlist

The awkwardness soon vanishes. This clear new chapter we just opened with Shawn allows me to loosen up and just enjoy a nice evening. Aaliyah and Eric seems satisfied with the outcome, the parents seem to hit it off quite easily and when we leave they already start making plans for another meetup.

“It was so nice meeting you!” Karen sighs happily as she hugs goodbye to all of us.

“You too, email me that recipe you told me about!” Mom points at her and she nods her head laughing.

I’m just about to step out of the house when Aaliyah grabs my wrist and pulls me back. I look at her with furrowed eyebrows.

“I need your help with a little something. Can you come over sometime tomorrow?” she whispers confidentially.

“Um, yeah. Around what time?” I ask.

“Three pm?”

“Sure,” I smile at her and she lets go of me.

On the way back home I’m thinking about what Aaliyah could need help with and the only thing I have in mind is Eric’s birthday that is on the 29th. She must be planning something special for him.

I call Maddi around midnight when I’m already in my pj’s, but I know she must be still up, maybe even drunk. For my surprise, she answers the phone quite modestly.

“How was the family union?” she asks chewing on something. I throw the cushions off of my bed and crawl under the blanket.

“Um, very interesting,” I chuckle closing my eyes and just shaking my head at the thought of the evening.

“Uh, spill the tea!” She cheers clearly very thirsty for some drama, though this story is not as juicy as she would want it.

“Guess who Aaliyah’s brother is!” I say, but I don’t expect an answer so I just continue. “Shawn Effing Mendes.”

“What?! Are you kidding me?” She gasps. “How did Eric forget to tell you this small detail?”

“Apparently, he thought it doesn’t matter to me, which is kind of true, but there is more.”

“What more? Did he hit on you? Because I’m not talking to you again if he did. He is hot!”

“No, he didn’t, but what you don’t know is that we have history.”

“Okay, now I’m confused!? How do I not know about this?”

“Well, remember my ex, Dylan? I told you about him.”

“Yeah, the asshole who cheated on you,” she hums.

“Well, Dylan and Shawn used to be best buds when we started dating, but the guy hated my guts, or so I thought. He was always mean to me, talking against me and just… avoiding me like the plague.”

“I thought he is the nicest person on earth.”

“He might be now, but when I knew him, he treated me like shit. So it was pretty awkward to see him again after all these years.”

“And how did it go? Was he an ass again?”

“No. He was… nice. Well, we both acted awkward in the beginning, I didn’t know if he would continue his act with me, but he turned out to be nice. And then at one point he told me he is sorry for everything in the past and he was just acting like that because he wanted to amuse Dylan.”

I turn to my side and stare out the window.

“That’s good, right? I mean, he grew out that mean phase and he is all good now.”

“Yeah, it’s just still weird to be around someone I knew from my Dylan phase.”

“But it’s Eric who is dating Aaliyah, why would you be constantly around him?”

“Aaliyah asked me to go over tomorrow, I think she is trying to put a surprise together for Eric’s birthday, so I’m spending the afternoon at the Mendes house.”

“Oh, then keep me updated about the details and sneak me a shirtless photo of Shawn please.”

“Maddi!” I scoff laughing. “Why would I even see him shirtless?”

“Maybe he likes wandering around in his home without clothes on, how would I know?!”

“Unbelievable. I’m going to sleep.”

“Bye bitch,” she sighs making me roll my eyes at her smiling.

“Bye.”

I sleep late the next day, it’s past noon when I actually make it downstairs looking like a real human being. Eric and Dad are watching a documentary on WW II. while Mom is reading the newspaper at the dining table. I join her with a bowl of cereal.

“Do you have any plans for today?” She smiles at me over her narrow glasses as she turns a page. I lean closer hitting a confidential tone.

“I’m helping Aaliyah today, she asked me to go over around three.”

“Oh, birthday surprise for Eric?” she asks clearly excited.

“I think yeah.”

“Great. And you will probably see Shawn again.” Winking at me she puts the papers down.

“Why does that matter?” I ask with my mouth full. She caresses my cheek before standing up and walking over to the sink for some water.

“Isn’t he a nice young man? I think the two of you would look cute together.”

“Mom, you are literally talking about the biggest pop sensation, he is not really the kind of guy who just casually dates,” I say.

In my mind all these celebrities are living their wildest life. Even if I were interested in Shawn in any way, I’m pretty sure I couldn’t even get in the game, he must have thousands of girls waiting for him in line. We are not really on the same page.

“Oh, come on. You guys knew each other in high school, you have a past, that connection must mean something!”

“He was an ass to me!” I blurt it out making her eyebrows raise.

“He was? What did he do?”

“It’s nothing,” I roll my eyes, but Mom gives me a demanding look. “He just didn’t seem to like me no matter what I did, he was avoiding me most of the time when I was with Dylan and also made some pretty rude comments sometimes.”

“Maybe he was into you,” Mom shrugs and I almost choke on the milk.

I start coughing like I’m about to die and my eyes start watering when I’m finally able to breathe evenly again.

“No fucking way!”

“Charlie! Language!” She hisses at me, but there is a smile hiding in her eyes. “You know, young boys tend to do it. They are mean to the girls they like.”

“Mom, it wasn’t in kindergarten, it was ninth grade or something. I think he just really didn’t like me back then and I don’t blame him.” I was annoying, thinking back at it. But hey, all teens are annoying!

“You can never know,” she sighs.

I totally ignore the theory Mom tried to make me believe, there is absolutely no chance of the nonsense she told me, and this is what I keep telling myself as I’m on my way to the Mendes house.

“Hey!” Aaliyah greets me with a wide smile. She is now wearing some more comfortable clothes than the last two times I saw her, the grey sweats and lose white shirt must be her home wear. “Come in! My parents are out at a friend’s place, and Shawn…” she starts, but just when she is about to finish he appears on the top of the stairs.

“Is here,” he chimes in. I look up and there he is, in a pair of checked pj pants and a black shirt. Looking at it, I think Aaliyah has his shirt on, it seems like the same size.

“Hi,” I smile at him.

“Come, let’s sit.” I follow Aaliyah into the living room and we sit down to the couch next to their Christmas tree. From the corner of my eyes I see Shawn going into the kitchen and for a moment I’m actually disappointed he is not coming with us.

“So. I want to surprise Eric with cooking for him, but I have no idea what. I tried to find out what’s his favorite, but he says it’s his favorite to everything!” she growls frustrated. I shake my head laughing.

“That’s typical.”

“Yeah. So do you have anything in mind?”

“Well, he really like tiramisu. He can eat tons of it, all the time. That’s good for dessert,” I offer. Aaliyah has her phone in her hands and she is typing everything I say down.

“Okay, got it.”

“Um, he likes gazpacho. He thinks it sounds fancy and you know, he likes everything with ketchup, so a soup that tastes like tomato was made for him.”

“Oh yeah, he pours so much ketchup into his sandwiches, it’s crazy,” she rolls her eyes jokingly. “Okay, so gazpacho. Anything else?”

“Um…” I try to think about the times we went to restaurants and Eric got really excited over the food. “Oh, we were once at a place and he ordered grilled mushrooms and he couldn’t stop moaning, it was very embarrassing, but I guess this meant he really liked it.”

“Grilled mushrooms, perfect,” she nods to herself noting everything down. “Do you mind helping me pick out his gift too? I have a few ideas, I want to go into the city and buy it tomorrow, I already looked up some jumpers online, but I can’t really decide.”

“Sure, show me!”

We spend the next thirty minutes scrolling through everything she had saved as a possible gift. She found some really nice ones, her taste is fantastic. As the time is passing I’m starting to feel like I’m with a friend and not with my brother’s girlfriend and I’m just hoping Eric will keep her around for a long time.

She asks me to stay a little bit longer so she can show me the awkward photos she has taken of Erik since they’ve been dating, but she gets a call and excuses herself quickly. I stay there in the living room, looking around a bit, I haven’t really had the chance yesterday, I was too occupied with the situation.

Shawn walks in, this time he has a headband on, keeping his locks back from his face.

Damn, Maddi is right. He is hot.

I shake my head at the thoughts and try to look as casual as possible.

“How is the birthday planning going?” he asks plopping down on the couch next to me.

“Good, Aaliyah basically had everything right, I just had to choose the best options.”

“How crazy is that our younger siblings are dating? I mean, I was thinking about it yesterday, the last time I saw Eric, he was about twelve or something. No wonder why I didn’t recognize him when I met him,” he chuckles and I nod agreeing. Aaliyah changed a lot in the past years too.

“Yeah. Strange that they are not babies anymore. I mean, I’m still mad that Eric is taller than me.”

“Oh I remember how you always wanted to get taller!”

“You remember?” I ask surprised. I used to never stop talking about my height, later I accepted my fate.

“Yeah, I remember once you told Dylan how you want to wear the highest heels to the dance so you two can be the same height.”

I laugh at the memory. I remember it too, it was quite early in our relationship and Dylan asked me out for the Halloween dance. I wanted to look taller and told Dylan I would wear heels. Of course, I ditched the plan as I found out how uncomfortable they are and ended up wearing my Converse.

“And at the end I looked like a punk princess with my Converse and mini skirt,” I scoff at the thought of my outfit for that night.

“I think you looked pretty,” Shawn says and I look at him. I catch his small smile before he shakes his head clearing his throat. What the Hell? “High school feels so far away, right?” he quickly says.

“Um, well for you I guess, for me… not really,” I chuckle shaking my head. “Your life got turned upside down, but not much has happened to me since then.”

“What? I don’t believe you. I’m sure you’ve been having plenty of fun. Parties, dates and everything.”

I can’t help, a sad smile plasters across my face. He can’t be more wrong.

“Not really… I had some rough years after Dylan and I split.”

“Can I ask what happened? I mean, after the split,” he shyly asks.

“Well, since I was a dumb naïve little girl, I needed an entire year before I could even think about getting to know other guys. Now it all just seems like the biggest bullshit. I shouldn’t have cared that much. And I’m not a fan of partying, I only go out on birthdays and maybe New Year’s Eve,” I shrug. Maddi has been trying to boost me up a bit, she attempts to drag me out every month or so, but I’m really not that kind of type. I thought I was, when I was with Dylan, he was a popular guy, I kept going to these lame parties with him in the last year of our relationship, but I never really enjoyed them. Shawn was long gone by then.

“I’m sorry Dylan played you so bad.”

“It’s fine, I mean, not your fault,” I chuckle. “But what happened to you and him?”

He sighs scratching the back of his neck.

“Not sure, I guess we grew apart and I realized that he is an ass. When I became a private student we kept in touch, but I met new people and I saw how different a friendship can be, so… I cut him off, I guess.”

“Did you guys fight?”

“Not really,” he shakes his head. “Well, we had one last very awkward phone call when I was in Atlanta, if I remember right. It was forced and… just awkward, really,” he chuckles shaking his head.

“And your life has been better since Dylan is out of it, right?” I grin at him.

“Yeah, you must know about it.”

I laugh nodding. I know everything about it!

Before I could even think about what I’m saying, my mouth just opens and the words roll down.

“The only good thing I got from my relationship with Dylan is that I know you now.”

My eyes widen and I wish I could take it back.

“I- uh I mean…”

I don’t even know why I’m so nervous suddenly, I didn’t even tell much. But for some reason, I can feel myself blushing.

“I meant that he basically ruined my senior year and I needed so much time to get myself over him, but at least now we can talk like, normal people,” I quickly add somehow saving the situation.

“What do you mean he ruined your senior year?” he asks with furrowed eyebrows and I’m happy he didn’t get caught up on what I said before that.

“Well, he successfully made me push all my friends away, leaving me totally alone when we broke up.”

“Wait, what? How about that friend of yours, um… I don’t remember her name, you always sat together at lunch.”

“Rochelle. Oh Dylan played us dirty. He told me Rochelle keeps hitting on him and being my dumb naïve self I believed him and not her. We had this huge fight and I called her a bitch. No wonder why she didn’t care about me when I was alone in the last couple of months of senior year.”

“Ouch, that sounds horrible. I’m sorry he did that.”

“Why did we even like Dylan in the first place?” I ask laughing to myself. It still bothers me how blind I was, I wish I could just shake myself.

“I have no idea!” He sighs rolling his eyes. “I’m sorry your senior year got fucked up, I wish I could be there to have lunch with you.”

I turn to him and swear to God he is blushing! And it is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. I feel the urge to touch him, anywhere, to take his hand in mine, but I stop myself.

“That’s… nice. Thank you,” I whisper touched.

As I’m staring at him I realize this is probably the closest I’ve ever been to him. I wonder how many girls want to be in my position, they see the popstar, the heartthrob from the stage, while all I see is the guy who used to be mean to me in high school but now we are friendlier than ever. I could never see him as a celebrity.

“Okay, so I found some- Oh am I bothering?” Aaliyah walks into the room with her phone in her hands and she is giving me a knowing look. I quickly clear my throat turning away from Shawn.

“No, you girls just… do your thing. I have to make a few calls.”

Shawn jumps up from the couch patting his sister’s shoulder before walking out of the room. Aaliyah takes his place, still grinning.

“What?” I ask her playing dumb.

“You guys… I felt the sparkle,” she says wiggling her eyebrows.

“What sparkle? Aaliyah, you see everything in pink because of my brother.”

“Oh stop, don’t tell me you don’t like him.”

“I don’t know him,” I say truthfully. “The last time I saw him I was dating a douche and he was also being a douche to me. I can’t tell if I like him, because I don’t know his new self.”

“But you seem to get along with him pretty well and I’m sure you are attracted to him.”

“I’m not talking about this with you, you are his sister!” I gasp feeling myself blushing again.

“Whatever. But I think you two would look cute together.”

I refuse to carry on with the conversation about me and Shawn and Aaliyah fortunately doesn’t force it on me. I leave the Mendes house around five, Aaliyah thanks me the help and I can’t help but feel disappointed I don’t see Shawn anywhere when I’m leaving. Aaliyah’s speech about me and Shawn is slowly getting to me.

By dinner, all my thoughts are racing around him and soon I find myself stalking his social media profiles. I knew he is very famous, but seeing the numbers on his pages makes me gasp. Millions of people are following him, waiting for him to post anything. The last photo he uploaded to his Instagram is with his family, Karen and Manny are smiling proudly into the camera while Shawn and Aaliyah are messing around next to them. Before I could realize what I’m doing I double tap the picture liking it.

“Oh shit,” I suck my breath in. I hesitate, but then I realize how dumb this is. He must be getting millions of notes every minute, he won’t see this.

Gaining some confidence from this, I decide to follow him and continue my stalking session. I’m a few months deep into his profile when I get a notification. Opening the tab my eyes widen.

shawnmendes followed charlieprkr

I guess I was wrong about the notification getting lost. A moment later I see that he has liked two of my photos.

One was taken on a family vacation. Eric and I are posing at the beach, I have a red swimsuit on and the wind is blowing my wavy blonde hair that was so much lighter back than from all the sunshine. The other one is a picture Maddie took of me last month. I’m sitting in our armchair with a mug of tea in my hands, smiling shyly at the camera. We had Christmas lights in the window and the lights made me look colorful in the photo.

I’m just about to put the phone down and go to bed when I get a dm. I’m not surprised to see Shawn’s username, but I definitely get excited.

shawnmendes I’m happy I’m not the first one to accidentally like your photo, though I was minutes away from that haha

I smile at the message rolling my eyes.

charlieprkr Ha. Ha. I was hoping I can easily hide in the millions of your followers.

shawnmendes You could have, if only I weren’t stalking your profile as well. Fate?

charlieprkr I guess.

My fingers linger across the keyboard, trying to think of something else to write and keep the conversation up, but nothing comes to my mind. I almost give up when I get another message from him.

shawnmendes I’m in a nostalgic mood, I want to have a walk in the neighborhood, around our school tomorrow. Would you like to join me?

My smile grows wider than ever reading his lines.

charlieprkr Totally.

shawnmendes Great! Sometime around 4 pm?

charlieprkr Perfect. Where?

shawnmendes I’ll meet you at your house and we’ll go from there.

charlieprkr Then see you tomorrow!

shawnmendes Yeah, good night Charlie.

#shawn #mendes #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfics #shawn mendes fanfictions #shawn mendes imagine #mendes army #crush #crush mini series

85 notes · View notes

simply-sams-things · 6 years

Text

The Game Of Life (part 2)

-Createing a part 2 cuase why not💁

-Warnings:Cuteness and yelling so yeah let me know what you think

-Also I might go ahead a few weeks in the next chapter so sorry about that.

-Sorry about bad spelling I'm doing this on my phone cause I dont own a computer and I'm sure my mom dosent want to see this on hers.

----------------------------------------------

February 17,2019 (9 weeks)

You and Joe were finally telling both of your family's about the baby. Last week you confirmed the pregnancy and you, being a big baby as you called yourself, cried. Not sad tears. Happy tears because well you were actually happy. Joe was there next to you with a big smile on his face and right then and there you knew life was good.

You knew Joes mom was going to be excited,but your parents on the other hand were going to have a big fit and kick you,Joe,and the baby out of their lives.

Growing up in a Catholic home was hard for you. You never imaged your parents being so rude until your sister,Amber,got pregnant in her early 30s which would have been fine in a normal home but in your house it was a disgrace against God because she wasn't married,but she was engaged. Amber was 32 and you where 16,your parents had waited a few years before having you,when she was kicked from your life but that never stopped you. Both of you had MySpace so you could talk and see pictures of your Niece and Nephew,but it scared you.

"Whats on your mind?"Joe asked as you guys were getting into the car.

"Nothing"you said

"Yes there is Y/N,I know that look"he replied starting the car

"I-Its my parents" you said with a stutter "remember what I told about my sister when she got pregnant with the twins?"He nodded. "Well I'm worried it might happen too us"You said touching your belly that had a little bit of a bump.

"Hey-"He started but you turned away "hey dont worrie about it. If they do we can just leave and go be a little family"he said as he grabbed your face and turned it facing him. You wanted to kiss his soft lips but he turned back and started driving towards his moms house,so you turned back to the window and looked outside.

----------------------------------------------

Joes Moms house

As you guys walked up the long paved path you felt Joe slid his hand into yours mainly so you wouldn't fall cuase it was dark. He felt you tense up and simply told you it was going to be okay and that you had nothing to worry about.

He knocked on the door and imedeatly his mother opened the door with a big smile on her face. It has been awhile since you saw her last and she grabbed you and joe for a big hug and said a lot of hello's and hugs and side kisses.

After talking for a bit about life and what was going on you sat down to eat and she left out to the garage saying she was getting some wine and once the door closed Joe said "hey its okay I know you're nervous but she is going to be happy!". You smiled and before you could say a little joke she came back in with some red wine that looked divine to you but you then remembered that you were pregnant and frowned.

"I've been saving this for awhile!"She said grabbing wine glasses."So who wants some wine?"she asked almost anxiously.

"I do!"Joe said and then they both looked at you.

"I wish I could but-" You started but then you looked at Joe and he said "Y/N and I-well we wanted to wait until the perfect moment to tell you that-"

"We're pregnant" You both said and then immediately looked down at your plates. Thats when it started that sickness,that started to boil up inside and you thought that mabye if you looked at something else it would go away so you looked at Joe's shoes,but it made it worse and as you were about to say that you were going the restroom you had to jump up and dart down the hallway only to rush into the bathroom and closing the door as you barely made it to the toilet. Joe and his mother followed behind,Joe rushing faster to check if you were okay.

"Y/N are you okay?Whats wrong?Can I help?" He asked with a very concerned voice while knocking. He walked in only to see you sitting next to the bowl with a pale and dazed face and he quickly asked his mom to get you some water and she rushed to the kitchen to get it.

"Hey" You said "sorry I did that and I'm sorry I ruined the moment"

"Dont be" He said "we all get nervous"

You heard his mom laugh with you and she walked in and gave you some water. You gave a weak smile in return. "Joe she has morning sickness" she said with a little laugh.

"Morning sickness?But isn't that supposed to be in the mornings?"

"No silly it happens whenever the name is just an old wives tale" you said still in shock over what happened.

A little after that happend you layed on the couch while Joe helped his mom with dinner and you could hear them talking but couldn't make out what they were saying. Joe then came over and said that it was time to leave and as you said your goodbyes Joes mom gave you a hug and said "I will send you some recipes to make cuase your having a Mazzello and Mazzellos like everything they see so be carful and drive safe".

You were happy and as you got into the car you gave Joe a big toothy smile and he asked what was going on with you.

"I'm just happy that went well"you said joyously.

"Me too and tomorrow we tell your parents" he said "don't be scared I will be there every second and if they say something to insult you,me,or the little coco bean,we will just get up and leave".

"CoCo Bean?"You ask with a little suprise.

"Yeah I read that at eight weeks the baby is the size of a CoCo Bean!"He said

"First of all I'm nine weeks"You said and his face grew a bit sad "but i like that nickname for it" you said to make him feel better, but you did like it.

-----------------------------------------------

February 18,2019

You woke up feeling like you hadn't slept in years and as you got up you saw some water next to you and you took a big gulp to try and keep last nights dinner down. When you walked out of your room you smelt bacon. Mmmmm bacon you thought and you saw Joe, with his pajamas that you stole from him a few years ago,on.

"Good morning you stayed the night?" you said walking over to lean on the counter.

"Good morning to you too,yeah I did cuase I wanted to make sure you were okay"He said walking over to the give you a little bit of bacon. Joe makes the best bacon you thought.

"Thank you and thanks for making breakfast you didnt have too I could have found some cereal"you told him.

After you said that you realised you had to go to the bathroom so you went and after you walked out Joe had put breakfast on the table and your heart skipped a beat. You imagined a little Joe waiting for his father to give him some food and you smiled to the thought.

You and Joe didnt really talk while you were eating,but as you got up to start clearing the table since he made the food,he looked at you and he thought about telling you how he felt.

After you gave him that peck on the lips he felt the same way you did,but you didnt know that. He wanted to tell you how he has loved you since the day you meet and how that when you told him that you were pregnant that you were the only one he wanted a family with and how he will never stop loving you.

"Hey Y/N can I talk to you about something before you shower?"He asked nervously.

"Yeah whats up?"You replied

"Umm okay so I understand if you-"he started but then there was a knock on the door.

As you opened the door together you see your parents standing there.

"Mom? Dad? what are you doing here?"

"Y/N! Joe! We wanted to say hi before we left for the weekend and what we cant see our own daughter?" Your dad said pulling you and Joe into a hug.

"No no no!You can definitely come by whenever but whats the trip your talking about?" You asked.

"Your father is taking me to Vermont for the weekend as a little get away!" Your mom explained.

"That sounds fun!" Joe said with a little smile and moved out of the way to let them in. It wasnt wired for your parents to see Joe in your apartment but with night clothes on that was strange for them but they kept quiet.

You talked about you losing your job and that made your mom and dad frown but they understood and your dad said that you could work for him as a joke band you all laughed. Joe talked about how much his life has changed in the past year and how he couldnt wait to see what life has in store for the next. That was the signal to get ready to break the news.

"Mom...Dad Joe and I have something to tell you." You said moving closer to Joe as if he was going to protect you.

"What is it?" Your dad asked with big eyes. "Is everything okay?" Joe was looking down at his shoes at this point and both of you had red cheeks.

"I'm-I'm pregnant" You said in low voice hoping that they couldn't hear you, but you knew they had becuase your fathers face turnd a dark red and the room became a lot more tense.

Your mom couldn't comprehend to the fact that you were pregnant and your father began the yelling which was making you so scared that you turned your head and placed it on Joe's back.

"How could you do this !?" He asked looking straight at you and pointing, at this point you grew mad and were about to yell back until-"and you" he said pointing at Joe "how could you do this to my daughter!?".

"How could I!?" Joe said finally having enough of the yelling "I have not only been calling and making sure she is okay every single day that I've known her but also been there for her when she calls me saying you didn't call her on her birthday or call her on Christmas and wish her those happy greetings, but I also care about her more then you obviously do becuase not only am I having a baby with her I also am going to there for both of them when you don't call and wish them happy birthdays or Merry Christmas!".

"Joe!" You said very angrly "Both of stop it I've had enough. I wanted this to be like a normal conversation between adults. Joe thank you for sticking up for me. Dad I wish you understood that traditions are not how they used to be as much as I wished I was married and with a guy, that is not how this situation is I love you a lot but you need to understand that the world is not how it was when I was born."

"Mom why aren't you saying anything"

Your mom was silent the whole time. She looked at your Father and then said

"Are duaghter is right you need to come to process the fact that the world is different and that its not the same I wish you could let them be adults for once and that you could act like one with out having your head up your ass." She said calmly. This suprised you and Joe to the point were both of you sat down.

"I don't want to push the last bit of family we have out of our lives." She continued "we lost Amber and the twins so I don't want to lose Y/N and the baby and hell even Joe" She finished looking at you both and sat down. Your father at this point was trying to process everything and after awhile he grabbed his keys and left.

"He'll come around its not over you two. just know he loves you three a lot and that its hard for him to process this all" Your mother said before leaving going after your dad.

Joe looked at you and saw tears in your eyes and he ran over to catch you before you collapsed into his arms sobbing.

"Hey hey its going to be okay" He said

"I-" You started but immediately a sob came and took over you and you buried your head into his shirt holding him tightly never wanting to let him go and he felt the same way.

"Joe" You started "Joe I think I-I love you" you said after a long intense 20 minutes of crying.

"Y/N are you sure?" He asked hoping you say yes.

"Yes I'm sure I never have been so sure"

"Y/N I love you too" he said kissing your head before picking you up bridal style and taking you to your room to lay you on the bed so you could sleep.

"Joe dont leave me" You said "please"

"I will never leave you" he moved to the other side and got into the bed with you and pulled you close to him.

After awhile both of you drifted into a long awaited sleep.

-----------------------------------------------

So glad im finshed this took me a long time to make, so feed back is always encouraged!

Tag list

@committed-no-crime

#joe mazzello #joe mazzello x reader #bohrap

35 notes · View notes

thewoodbine · 5 years

Note

So... My family brought two new pet birds. Tia and Mike. Mike was sluggish from start, we just thought he'll need a few days to get used to the new atmosphere. He's dead. Me and my mom decided to take him to the pet shop tomorrow. My mom is feeling super sad and guilty, believing she should never have brought them. And you know what's the worst part? Tia will now have to spend the whole night alone. I'm also very sad. 😟😞😔😢

In retrospect and when considering getting a bird or any pet in the future look for animal rescues & shelters.

But please do not beat yourself up, pet stores often have horrible conditions in which they keep their pets and many people report quick and sudden death by pet shop animals. Your story is not a new one. This happens all the time and likely has nothing to do with you guys having made a mistake by getting them. Honestly it makes me angry that places like Petsmart and Petco and so on are allowed to carry animals when the staff often knows little to nothing about their species or individual needs and often just sells them to anyone even if the home isnt a good fit. (Not saying that you weren't, but like they sell fish to people who put them in bowls or baby snakes and don't tell the new owners they will grow or large exotic birds to people who dont want a high maintance pet.)

Even if you didnt get them from a mega corp a sudden death like that is usually from something that went unnoticed or treated by the staff who had them prior to you.

Anyways I could do a whole ted talk on it but basically fuck the rich, Im so sorry to hear about your bird passing, I hope Tia is okay feed her a healthy snack for me, and see if there are rescues in your area who could help find Tia a friend.

Heres a dancing bird to make you feel better 💞

#e #pets #birds

16 notes · View notes

lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

Text

What’s your hair like? A mess. It’s long, wavy, and a mix of my natural dark brown hair and the red that I dye it because it’s been several months since I’ve gotten my hair done and my roots are very overgrown. It also needs a trim. Is there someone you can’t help but stare at? Alexander Skarsgard. How do you feel about teenagers claiming to be in love? It’s hard for me to understand because I can’t imagine feeling that at such a young age and I kind of feel like it’s easy to get caught up in the emotions and lust due to hormones, and I wonder if they know what it really means, but who am I to say what they feel? To them it’s real, they’re the ones feeling it. Plus, I’m almost 30 and I’m not sure I even really know what it means or if I’ve ever actually been in love. I thought so, but I’m not so sure now. Are you dating anyone? If so, for how long? No. Do you believe in long distance relationships? They work for some people. I’ve never had one.

Do you have unlimited texting? Yes, even though I hardly ever text. What’s your favorite button on the keyboard? All the ones I use. Do you like your handwriting? No, it’s awful. Your biggest fear? Losing my loved ones, dying, never amounting to anything or never doing anything with my life, things getting worse or never getting better... What’s on your walls? Some posters/paintings and decals. Do you like perfume? Yeah, some. Are you a guy or a girl? Girl. Do you prefer to have girls as friends or guys? I don’t really have a preference. If we vibe, we vibe. What’s the top thing you look for in a S.O.? Someone who is patient, understanding, caring, and kind are especially important to me. Last words you heard and from who? My mom saying “goodnight.” Why do people cheat on each other? There’s a variety of reasons.

What’s your favorite brand of pencil? I don’t have one. Do you wake up by an alarm clock? If so, isn’t the BEEEEEP annoying? Yes, but it’s not a “BEEEEEP”, it’s something I chose from the options on my phone. It’s like an instrumental song type one. The last song you listened to? I have Señorita by Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello stuck in my head. The person you go to for advice? If anyone, my mom. Are you one of those people who just HAS to vent to somebody in some form? No. I don’t like doing that with people. I hate burdening others with my stuff and unloading on them, so I don’t do it much. I save that mostly for surveys and Twitter. Do you have Myspace, facebook, and myyearbook? I have all 3, but only my Facebook is active. I haven’t used Myspace or myyearbook in like 10 years, myyearbook even longer, but my account still exists out there. I don’t recal using myyearbook much, I think I just signed up to check it out. How do you feel about avril lavigne? I like some of her songs. I haven’t listened to her music in awhile, though. I wonder what happened to her. Don’t you hate it when people don’t say your name right? Nah. Now and then someone will mispronounce my last name, which I don’t understand, but I don’t hate it. It rarely happens. Have you heard of Paramore? If not, look them up. :) Yes, I’ve known of them for years. I actually saw them in concert once as well. Who’s your favorite sibling? I don’t like choosing favorites when it comes to family members. I’m closer to my younger brother. Favorite Parent? I’m closer to my mom. What do you want to do for a living? I don’t know. :/

Do you know anyone with down syndrome? No. Does anyone you know have a birthday this week? Mine is tomorrow. What do you think of the middle name ‘Jane’? I don’t think anything about it. What’s your favorite name in the opposite gender? Alexander. Can you keep eye contact with everyone? I find it awkward to hold it too long at once, like I’ll look away for a bit and then look back and so on. What color are your eyes? Brown. Do you curl or straighten your hair? It’s been like 3 years at least since I last straightened my hair myself. When I get my hair done my hair stylist straightens it, but it’s been almost a year since I got my hair done. :X Pro-life or pro-choice? Why? What shape is your favorite bowl? Bowl shape? Did you know the Salvation army was a church, too? I think I’ve heard that before. I hate winter. What’s your least favorite season? Ugh, SUMMER.

Do you know the difference between a hoodie and a jacket with a hood? A hoodie is more thin/lightweight. Do you belive in 'hating’ anyone? I don’t hate anyone. Do you like Twilight? I was really into it when the books were still coming out and then the movies, but I outgrew it. Do you know the difference between loving someone and being in love? Yes. I’m not in love with a family member, but I love them. What animal that is endangered is your favorite? Giraffes. :( How do you believe the Earth and life on it was created? God. What’s your religion? Christianity. How many fingers do you have? * 10 (dont u come @ me w that “”“thumbs”“” bullsh*t either, lmao. They'are ALL fingers) <<<< Hahah. I say the same thing. Don’t get all technical with me! What about toes? 10. Do you like your teeth? No. Do you need glasses or contacts? I wear glasses. Have you considered getting contacts that change your eyecolor? What color? It’s cool, but the idea of putting in contacts freaks me out. I also prefer wearing glasses anyway. Do you have allergies? Yes. Have you ever made a quiz? Don’t you love it when you’re on a roll? Once, a long time ago. Like pre-Tumblr days. What time zone are you in? Pacific. Do you wish you lived some where else? Yes. Sometimes don’t you wish you could move away and start over? Yes, but unfortunately my problems would follow me. It would be nice to live somewhere else, though. I hate this city. What’s the craziest color you’ve seen on a house? I’ve seen pink, yellow, purple, and blue houses. Do you like the name Trevor? Eh. How do you pronounce Bzoink? Biz-oink. Is Taylor Swift better than the rest of the teen singers? I’m not a fan of Taylor Swift. What time will it be in 3 hours and 2 minutes? 7:14AM. What’s your favorite brand of cereal? General Mills, Kellogs, and Post. Do you like to read? Yes. What’s your GPA? I’m doneeee with school. Isn’t annoying when you’re friends are different around different people? Depends on how they’re being different. I did have a friend who was completely different and not in a good way. Do you want a phone with a keyboard? I have a touch screen phone. Do you go to church but you aren’t sure if you believe in God? I don’t go to church right now, but I do believe in God. What grade are you in? I’m done with school, remember? Are you shorter then most of your friends? Yes, all of them. Do you prefer a S.O. older or younger? By how much? A bit older. Like up to 5 years at most, I’d say. I just feel like the older I get; though, the harder it’ll be to find someone. I’m almost 30, but I feel so...stunted and behind in life. Someone in their mid 30s would likely be in a much different place in life and be further ahead. I don’t know if they’d want to date me with where I am in life. Do you like popcorn? I love movie theater buttered popcorn. I also love this garlic parm seasoning I get put on it at this one theater we go to. SO good. Why does corn get chewed up but come out in the original form? Ew. Are you pessimistic or optimistic? Very pessimistic. What number do you think you’re on? I’m not counting. That was # 76. What’s your bestie’s name? Was it really? Wow. Anyway, her name is Yolanda. What size shoe do you wear? 6 in women’s. Do you like lollipops? Nah. Don’t you hate the texture of lotion on your skin? No. Well, unless it’s like greasy. Favorite movie? I have a lot. How many words per minute do you type? I don’t know. Do you think it’s possible to meet your bestie online? I don’t have a bestie online. Do you blog or write in a journal? This is my blog and journal. Isn’t health class annoying? I didn’t find it annoying. Who’s your favorite teacher, if any? What internet browser do you use? Chrome. Isn’t it weird to like having butterflies? No? The good butterfly feeling is nice, like the kind you get when you’re excited or you like someone. What’s the longest flower name you can think of? *shrug* What year were you born in? 1989. What time is it, backwards? 91:4. If you had to shorten your name to 4 letters, what would it be? Step. Sam; a femine name or a male name? Whatever. What’s the prettiest cat you have seen? All the cats I’ve ever seen.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

3 notes · View notes

thisbibliomaniac · 6 years

Note

Would you hate me if I asked for all 200?

I could never hate you my darling !

200: My crush’s name is: ohhhh I’m not posting that here XD

199: I was born in: hell

198: I am really: average 197: My cellphone company is: stupid 196: My eye color is: brown 195: My shoe size is: inconvenient 194: My ring size is: 7 on my ring finger, 8 on my middle finger 193: My height is: 5′5″192: I am allergic to: according to my most recent rescan, egg yolks, corn starch, and ... something else 191: My 1st car was: a windstar 190: My 1st job was: ice cream shop! 189: Last book you read: Pride and Prejudice. loved it 188: My bed is: blue, green, purple, and pink 187: My pet: obi, who is so cute 186: My best friend: amazing wonderful beautiful incredible 185: My favorite shampoo is: maui vanilla 184: Xbox or ps3: nintendo 64183: Piggy banks are: for collecting cool money 182: In my pockets: scrunchie and box cutter 181: On my calendar: seeing @dangerously-human asap! 180: Marriage is: unlikely 179: Spongebob can: die 178: My mom: cool beans 177: The last three songs I bought were? these boots were made for walking, 9-5, idk probably something by kelly clarkson 176: Last YouTube video watched: steven crowder on the catholic boys. worth the watch 175: How many cousins do you have? oh gosh. so many. i was gonna add them up, but honestly? there’s at least 40, and aint nobody got time to mentally run through the whole family 174: Do you have any siblings? yes 173: Are your parents divorced? no 172: Are you taller than your mom? lol yes 171: Do you play an instrument? piano 170: What did you do yesterday? worked :/[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: nope 168: Luck: i joke about it, but not really 167: Fate: no 166: Yourself: heck no 165: Aliens: nope 164: Heaven: of course 163: Hell: definitely 162: God: absolutely 161: Horoscopes: absolutely not 160: Soul mates: yes 159: Ghosts: no 158: Gay Marriage: nope 157: War: yes 156: Orbs: ? 155: Magic: cats are magic [ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: hugs 153: Drunk or High: neither 152: Phone or Online: phone 151: Red heads or Black haired: ahhhh. both 150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes 149: Hot or cold: cold 148: Summer or winter: nether D:147: Autumn or Spring: autumn 146: Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla 145: Night or Day: night 144: Oranges or Apples: apples 143: Curly or Straight hair: curly 142: McDonalds or Burger King: ew neither 141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: milk140: Mac or PC: pc always 139: Flip flops or high heals: both!!138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: ugly and sweet are not mutually exclusive 137: Coke or Pepsi: pepsi 136: Hillary or Obama: haahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha135: Burried or cremated: idk i wont be there 134: Singing or Dancing: singing 133: Coach or Chanel: walmart 132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: taylor hicks!!!!! 131: Small town or Big city: in between 130: Wal-Mart or Target: both 129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: adam sandler 128: Manicure or Pedicure: manicure 127: East Coast or West Coast: east coast 126: Your Birthday or Christmas: neither 125: Chocolate or Flowers: both 124: Disney or Six Flags: disney 123: Yankees or Red Sox: Indians [ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: a necessary evil 121: George Bush: i was like 12 so 120: Gay Marriage: wicked 119: The presidential election: ridiculous 118: Abortion: murder 117: MySpace: useless 116: Reality TV: depends on the show 115: Parents: not really sure how to answer this 114: Back stabbers: dump them 113: Ebay: sneaky 112: Facebook: another necessary evil 111: Work: the most necessary of the greatest evil 110: My Neighbors: enigmas 109: Gas Prices: too high 108: Designer Clothes: why?

107: College: not for everyone 106: Sports: baseball is the best 105: My family: wild104: The future: D: [ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: my coworker hugged me yesterday 102: Last time you ate: got shish tawook earlier 101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: havent really seen anyone 100: Cried in front of someone: i dont do that 99: Went to a movie theater: couple weeks ago 98: Took a vacation: went to see stell and danger 97: Swam in a pool: a looong time ago 96: Changed a diaper: longer ago 95: Got my nails done: never have 94: Went to a wedding: probably a cousin? so also a long time ago 93: Broke a bone: never 92: Got a peircing: ears 8 years ago 91: Broke the law: i do not do that either !90: Texted: stell just now [ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: @identityconstellations88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: solitude 87: The last movie I saw: far from the madding crowd 86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: seeing danger 85: The thing im not looking forward to: work on monday 84: People call me: boring 83: The most difficult thing to do is: exist 82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: never 81: My zodiac sign is: nothing 80: The first person i talked to today was: my mom 79: First time you had a crush: high school 78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: i can hide from anyone ;) 77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: usually do 76: Right now I am talking to: stell 75: What are you going to do when you grow up: uhhhhhhh74: I have/will get a job: hopefully never again, but thats not my luck 73: Tomorrow: bible study! 72: Today: shish tawook 71: Next Summer: who knows 70: Next Weekend: sleep 69: I have these pets: obi, walker, punky, daisy, loki, and lady 68: The worst sound in the world: nails on a chalkboard 67: The person that makes me cry the most is: no one 66: People that make you happy:my friends 65: Last time I cried: idek 64: My friends are: amazing 63: My computer is: dependable 62: My School: over and done with 61: My Car: adorable 60: I lose all respect for people who: give up their pets , especially for petty reasons 59: The movie I cried at was: oh goodness i dont know 58: Your hair color is: red 57: TV shows you watch: so many 56: Favorite web site: i dont think i like any of them 55: Your dream vacation: paris 54: The worst pain I was ever in was: 53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium 52: My room is: purple 51: My favorite celebrity is: oh goodness i have no idea . tom hiddleston probably 50: Where would you like to be: ireland 49: Do you want children: yes48: Ever been in love: no 47: Who’s your best friend: stell 46: More guy friends or girl friends: girl friends 45: One thing that makes you feel great is: being with cats 44: One person that you wish you could see right now: any of my friends 43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no 42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no 41: Have you pre-named your children: no 40: Last person I got mad at: my boss 39: I would like to move to: ireland 38: I wish I was a professional: nothing. i dont want to be a professional anything. i hate working for other people. they suck. every single one. [ My Favorites ]37: Candy: reeses pieces36: Vehicle: corrola 35: President: RAND PAUL 202034: State visited: hawaii 33: Cellphone provider: they all suck 32: Athlete: jason kipnis 31: Actor: tom hiddleston 30: Actress: sandra bullock 29: Singer: lea salonga 28: Band: needtobreathe27: Clothing store: walmart 26: Grocery store: walmart 25: TV show: the office 24: Movie: so many 23: Website: already asked 22: Animal: cats 21: Theme park: not really a theme park fan 20: Holiday: reformation day 19: Sport to watch: baseball! 18: Sport to play: bowling 17: Magazine: none 16: Book: madman 15: Day of the week: friday 14: Beach: the one in jersey stell and i went to last year 13: Concert attended: tobymac and brandon heath together 12: Thing to cook: snickerdoodles 11: Food: shish tawook 10: Restaurant: idek 9: Radio station: majic 105.7

8: Yankee candle scent: cinnamon 7: Perfume: honeysuckle 6: Flower: roses 5: Color: pink 4: Talk show host: regis philban XD 3: Comedian: probably john mulaney 2: Dog breed: pitbull 1: Did you answer all these truthfully? yiss

thanks dan

#dan-the-fungus

10 notes · View notes

chocosvt · 6 years

Text

27. 07.18

somehow, i want to be able to mark this day. i want to be able to document these emotions i have after finally seeing my oldest companion pass away. though i do not remember well, i remember going to the farm where my sister and i picked lucy and her brother, chester, as farm kittens. lucy was my kitten, a short hair calico with beautiful green eyes, bright like lily pads, and the softest patches of white, tan and smoky black fur. of course she was mischievous. they were both outdoor cats and would venture all over the pasture and throughout the forest. lucy also brought me a lot of dead things and i would have to sit through the sound of the bones cracking between her teeth... though i guess in a way she wanted me to be proud of her.

for 14 years you lived, you were my best friend. i would walk off the bus and you would run up the driveway, guide me over to the sandy patches, and roll around in them until i pet you. you wouldnt eat unless i walked you to the food bowl and stroked your fur. you would meow and paw at my phone until i shoved it away and took a nap with you. and maybe you gnawed at my headphones a lot... but i can let things go easily so it did not matter much.

thank you for being someone i could talk to. sometimes i feel like i cannot ever be myself without being slightly afraid - but you’d just give my hands a few licks and i felt comfortable. to have a best friend like you... i cannot explain it. i am always feeling and thinking so many things but only say a fraction of them. you were always there if i wanted to clear my mind. you resemble me a lot that it is a bit scary. the only things we ever did were nap, get up for a snack, nap, drink some water, nap, complain, nap, snack, ect. i know that my family thinks you were a high-maintenance cat, but you lived simply, and you were happy. the only thing you wanted was someone to give you ear scratches and sit by the food bowl while you ate. i want to live a life of that simplicity too. i think you have taught me taking time to relax is never a bad thing.

and now i look at you, wrapped up in a beach towel, using my childhood blanket as a pillow. your nose is completely white. your body is cold. watching your take your final gasps, i didnt know i could feel my face burn this badly. the last time i remember how badly it hurt to try and hold back tears in front of people was when i prayed for my cousin. then my mom handed you into my arms, and i couldnt stop crying. i felt the limp weight of your head roll and saw how your legs had no strength. but now you are on my chair and it looks as though youre napping, which was always your best strength. that and being pretty. maybe i can only fulfill the napping part, but im okay with that.

i don know how else to thank you for being my best friend. i will have to bury you tomorrow yet i dont even think i will sleep tonight.

i understand that death is part of life. but you cant prepare for death. i honestly dont want you to leave my bedroom. i cant even stop petting you. im so sorry that i wasnt able to look after you better during your final month. one of the only things i focused on was my online course. my door was always shut and i blocked you out to concentrate. i felt stress and i didnt let you in to be my stress reliever. i love you to a point where i will never be capable of expressing my gratitude. to have a best friend like you is very incredible. i wont forget the comfort youve made me feel. i also want to be a comfort like that to someone, knowing that it means the world to even have one person who will listen.

i feel like im just repeating myself at this point. my eyes have gotten so blurry that its becoming hard to type. to be able to keep some sort of script of what you meant to me is most important. i know that no matter when i think of this moment i will get upset. it feels strange to cry in front of so many people since i only want to cry by myself. you were one of the only people i could cry in front of without feeling embarrassment or weakness.

thank you, lucy, for allowing me to understand these things about myself. if i could have one companion in my next life, and my life after that, it would always be you.

#it seems like such a little thing to feel this seriously about but i want to have this because it means so much to me #*ctag

33 notes · View notes

sunfowers · 6 years

Note

All the evens

ur really gonna do that , huh ?

2. Was it a gradual increase of trust and love, or was there a specific moment where you knew “I want to be with this person for a long time”? answered !

4. What’s your zodiac sign and mbti type? What about your partner’s? Do things like that reflect your actual compatibility or is it just bunch of bunk? im an aquarius and infj and kates a leo and infp and i know nothing about the supposed compatibility but i think that kind of stuff is intresting

6. Tell me a story about a happy experience you two shared. Something that makes your heart warm whenever you think about it. the first time we both fell asleep together just makes my heart !!!! i think that when i first started to accept that i actually loved her as more than my best friend

8. Are your families supportive? Does it matter if they’re not? her parents arent :-( but some of her siblings are of the lgbt community so they probably would be ! and my mom knows i like girls and i think ? she knows i have a gf but she doesnt know its kate , but im going to tell her as soon as i can . my brother knows about her too and he actually encouraged me to ask her out dhfshksksk but i dont think it really matters if our families are supportive or not . we love each other and we dont need anyones approval

10. Do you have children together? If not, are you both interested in raising children some day? shfkjshdk no and idk ! im not a huge fan of kids but i think i may want to adopt one in the future

12. If you’re having a bad day, what do they do to help? answered !

14. Have you ever went on a vacation or adventure together? Tell me about it. If not, do you have plans to do something fun in the future? no :-( but im pretty sure im visiting for spring break next year ! and i might try to get down there by the end of the summer but we’ll see !

16. What’s a piece of advice that your partner gave you that has resonated with you? that i dont have to feel bad or apologize for the way i am , i can just work on parts i dont like and learn to accept myself . and everything shes done to help me with my self worth

18. Describe the perfect day with your partner. It can be something that’s already happened, or something that you plan to do. not to be like That but , any day with her in person would be the perfect day . i really want to just lay in bed with her and listen to music and cuddle and make out tbh

20. What are the best restaurants to go to? Do you see movies at the theater? Do you do things like golf or bowling, just to bond more? we cant do any of these yet :-( but we watch movies on netflix together

22. Tell me about a time that you got into an argument over something serious. How did you compromise? What did you learn? i dont think we’ve had an argument yet ? we both are scared of confrontation and are too worried about accidentally making the other person mad to argue . its also the only perk of long distance that ive thought of

24. Do you have a shipname? hdfhskh @theraeandgo calls us elite

26. Has your partner ever inspired something creative like your art, writing, etc? Oh Yea , we both draw each other or make things for each other a lot dklsjflkjs

28. Has your partner ever changed one of your opinions on morals, politics, society, etc? probably ! but i have the memory of a gold fish so idk

30. Does physical affection and/or sexuality have a role in your relationship? Are both of your needs being respected and fulfilled? i mean .. we both are attracted to each other anf we’re happily dating so

32. Talk about your sense of humor, and your partner’s. Do you laugh a lot together? Which one of you is funnier? We Are Both SO Dumb And Neither Of Us Are Actually Funny We’re Just Too Big Of Fools To Realise It . but yea ! we laugh all the time but we both have the worst sense of humour like i’ll say something wrong anf itll derail the entire conversation and idk whos funnier were both just dumb !

34. Have there been any hardships that have ultimately brought you closer than before? we both have our rough patches and they just bring us closer , we’re each other’s support system

36. Tell me about what your partner is good at. Are they an artist, are they good at math, do they play a sport, etc? shes such an amazing artist !!! x x shes so smart and really good with words , i really like when she uses a big word and i have to look it up fjksdlfjls shes just so smart

38. Let’s talk about life goals and hopes. Do you two have a similar idea for the future (regarding careers, getting a home, family, finding meaning)? Do you two make a good team? Can you imagine spending the rest of your life with them? i think so ! we haven’t talked about the future in depth that much since we’re both so young and we havent been dating for that long , but yea i can definitely see her being in the rest of my life , and i think our relationship has a really good dynamic and its not one sided and we work really well together

40. Is your partner on tumblr? Tag them here and write them a small message, it can be anything. heck yea @angellfallendown !! i hope this doesnt wake u up but i love you ! i hope you have a nice day tomorrow 💗 i cant wait to call you 💋 sweet dreams love

#kate #i couldnt think of anything so i just told u goodnight again djklsfjdksj #ask game #long post

5 notes · View notes

my-insanity-is-irrelevant · 7 years

Note

The same to you - all of them 🎃

200: My crush’s name is: Ryan, Eli, Claire, several others I cant name for complicated reasons

199: I was born in: 1997/a hospital

198: I am really: Intense weather in my calmness or excitement

197: My cellphone company is: T-Mobile

196: My eye color is: Light green

195: My shoe size is: 9 1/2 wide (i usually have to do like a 11 for high heals)

194: My ring size is: ??????? probably big I have chubby fingers

193: My height is: 5′ 6″

192: I am allergic to: nothing unless you count idiocy

191: My 1st car was: A blue 2007 Ford Focus and I LOVED her

190: My 1st job was: A server for Cheddar’s Casual Cafe

189: Last book you read: How to Ruin Everything by George Watsky 10/10

188: My bed is: A king with lots o’ pillows and blankets and is very comfy

187: My pet: 2 cats, 5 kittens, 6 dogs, 2 snakes, 1 bearded dragon, 1 leopard gecko, 4 turtles, 1 bullfrog tadpole, and bunches of fish

186: My best friend: is a boy i met a month ago because i have intimacy issues

185: My favorite shampoo is: Dead Sea’s Argon oil shampoo is so good to my poor dry curls

184: Xbox or ps3: I use an Xbox to watch Netflix but I don’t play video games

183: Piggy banks are: Cute decorations but go unused

182: In my pockets: $2, some lint, a rubber band, and something weird i took out of my dog’s mouth earlier

181: On my calendar: I have nothing written in it but it has cool pictures of bears

180: Marriage is: Cool because of the financial benefits but other than that unnecessary to prove one’s love. I want a wedding though because I want a pretty dress

179: Spongebob can: Make me hate my life a 3am

178: My mom: Died of breast cancer and smoked a lot of pot

177: The last three songs I bought were? I can’t remember ever paying for music but the last three i listened to are: Cherry Wine by Hozier, Strong As An Oak by Watsky, and San Cristobal by Mal Blum

176: Last YouTube video watched: A slam poem by Neil Hilborn called Liminality

175: How many cousins do you have? I have no clue? At least 10 on each side, but i’m sure there’s way more than that

174: Do you have any siblings? 2 older brothers, 2 older sisters, ans one younger sister

173: Are your parents divorced? They were never married

172: Are you taller than your mom? Nope! She was like 5′10′

171: Do you play an instrument? I can play hot cross buns on the recorder and thats the best i can do

170: What did you do yesterday? I slept and ate beef jerky[ I Believe In ]169: Love at first sight: No, but i do believe in lust and infatuation at first site. I think love takes time to grow.

168: Luck: Yes like, as in karma

167: Fate: Catch me in the right mood and i do

166: Yourself: NOOOOOPE

165: Aliens: Yes

164: Heaven: No

163: Hell: Yes, it’s called Texas

162: God: Naaaaah

161: Horoscopes: I think they’re accurate generalizations

160: Soul mates: Yeah but not like the traditional; kind of way, i think we have lots of people we’re meant to be with in various ways

159: Ghosts: Yes and No i go back and forth

158: Gay Marriage: 100%

157: War:0%

156: Orbs: Idk what this is talking about but sure, ill root for them

155: Magic: No, Im a science gal[ This or That ]154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs

153: Drunk or High: High, drinking gives me a tummy ache

152: Phone or Online: Online

151: Red heads or Black haired: Red heads

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Brunettes

149: Hot or cold: Cold

148: Summer or winter: Winter

147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla

145: Night or Day: Night

144: Oranges or Apples: Apples

143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly

142: McDonalds or Burger King: Mcdonald’s

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: White Chocolate is the key to my heart

140: Mac or PC: PC

139: Flip flops or high heels: HIgh heels even though i cant walk in them

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and poor

137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke

136: Hillary or Obama: Obama

135: Burried or cremated: Cremated, the idea of rotting creeps me out

134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing but im bad at both

133: Coach or Chanel: Idgaf

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: ??????

131: Small town or Big city: Big city

130: Wal-Mart or Target: Wal-Mart

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: I hate Adam Sandler

128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure

127: East Coast or West Coast: West Coast

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: Christmas all the waaaaaay

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Flowers, preferably potted

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney i’m scared of roller coasters

123: Yankees or Red Sox: I dont sports[ Here’s What I Think About ]122: War: Its stupid and bad and i hate violence

121: George W. Bush: Okay, looook, i dig his paintings, okay???

120: Gay Marriage: gimme that shit i want that shit

119: The presidential election: I could be down for violence against trump

118: Abortion: everyone should have safe access to abortions, they save lives

117: MySpace: I never had one? Does it still exist? I may make one for fun?

116: Reality TV: i dont ever watch it, i avoid it like the plauge

115: Parents: Mine were grade A shit

114: Back stabbers: What goes around comes around

113: Ebay: I use Amazon

112: Facebook: Its filled with my racist family, i avoid it

111: Work: I watch my niece and nephew (twins) and i love it

110: My Neighbors: I don’t interact with them ever

109: Gas Prices: why so expensive pls give me break

108: Designer Clothes: catch me in wal-mart clothes i bough 4 years ago

107: College: I want but cant afford halp

106: Sports: no

105: My family: I love them but they fkn annoy the shit out of me with their political views

104: The future: stop.[ Last time I ]103: Hugged someone: My niece yesterday

102: Last time you ate: I am eating a bowl of mac n’ cheese right now

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: I saw my sister’s in-laws last week and i loooooove them! I made slime with the kids

100: Cried in front of someone: When i found out my ex was cheating on me like two months ago

99: Went to a movie theater: Went on a date with a cute boi like a month ago and w saw Baby Driver it was so good

98: Took a vacation: The only vacation ive ever took in my life was with my ex and his family to Florida last summer

97: Swam in a pool: Less than a week ago

96: Changed a diaper: Yesterday, i change them for a living

95: Got my nails done:last summer

94: Went to a wedding: My oldest sister got married last week!

93: Broke a bone: when i was like 3????

92: Got a peircing: two weeks ago i got my nipples done

91: Broke the law: this morning when i got high

90: Texted: Im texting cute bbs right now[ MISC ]89: Who makes you laugh the most: My boi Ryan who is a fkn idiot i love him

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: I already left home and only miss having someone else cook and clean because my roomates are hopeless

87: The last movie I saw: The Last Five Years

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: When i can move far north and start a loving and respectful communist sex cult

85: The thing im not looking forward to: Getting up for work at 5 in the morning

84: People call me: lame

83: The most difficult thing to do is: exist

82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: i sure haven’t i’m Safe

81: My zodiac sign is: Libra

80: The first person i talked to today was: Ryan

79: First time you had a crush: i liked a boy named Antonio in second grade

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: no one?

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: Ryan last night when we said a stupid Ricks and Morty quote at the same time

76: Right now I am talking to: my cat Beatrice

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: probably cry a lot

74: I have/will get a job: working with kids!

73: Tomorrow: I will be very tired

72: Today: I am very tired

71: Next Summer: I will be very hot

70: Next Weekend: Im going to tie ppl up with rope

69: I have these pets: see 187

68: The worst sound in the world: A baby crying because they’re hurt or sad

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: my ex inbox me for his url so you can tell him hes a meanie

66: People that make you happy: My nieces and nephews and also my bff

65: Last time I cried: last night because the damn dog was so cute

64: My friends are: amazing and deserve the world

63: My computer is: slow and bad but i still love her

62: My School: was down the road from a prison, which my mom was in years ago

61: My Car: is old and smells like my mom’s cigarettes

60: I lose all respect for people who: are racist, homophobic, sexist, trans-phobic, Islamophobic, anti-semetic, ect.

59: The movie I cried at was: the beginning of Guardians of the Galaxy

58: Your hair color is: Auburn

57: TV shows you watch: Game of Thrones, Criminal Minds, Sense 8

56: Favorite web site: tumblr.com

55: Your dream vacation: stargazing in Alaska

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: when i fucked up my siatic nerve in a car wreck in January

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium-well

52: My room is: cold and messy and covered in kittens

51: My favorite celebrity is: Harry Styles

50: Where would you like to be: on a beach in Iceland with a person playing a ukulele

49: Do you want children: Only if i have more than one long term partner living with me

48: Ever been in love: Yes

47: Who’s your best friend: see 186 its Ryan

46: More guy friends or girl friends: no

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: when my cat comes to me and just lays where shes barely touching me

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: My best friend from high school who committed suicide

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: no

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: no

41: Have you pre-named your children: I want to name my kid Coraline but id also like to do something not defined by a single gender?

40: Last person I got mad at: My sister because she left the dogs inside all day while i was at work even though shes a stay at home mom and so the poor things had accidents and no one was happy

39: I would like to move to: Canada

38: I wish I was a professional: mom[ My Favorites ]37: Candy: white chocolate truffles

36: Vehicle: vintage beatles

35: President: Alexander Hamilton

34: State visited: Florida

33: Cellphone provider: ?????

32: Athlete: ?????

31: Actor: Nat Wolf

30: Actress: Maise willams

29: Singer: Radical Face/Hozier

28: Band: Bad Books

27: Clothing store: Wal-mart

26: Grocery store: Joe-V’s Smart Shop

25: TV show: Game of Thrones

24: Movie: Swiss Army Man

23: Website: see 56

22: Animal: Monitors

21: Theme park: i dont do theme parks

20: Holiday: Halloween

19: Sport to watch: does Yuri on Ice count?

18: Sport to play: no

17: Magazine: i don’t read magazines but i heard Teen Vogue is doing wonders

16: Book: The Kite Runner

15: Day of the week: Wednesday’s Child is Full of Woe

14: Beach: wherever i was in Florida

13: Concert attended: Warped Tour 2015 there was a band called Onwards ect. it was so good

12: Thing to cook: homemade flour tortillas

11: Food: Cheese enchiladas

10: Restaurant: This cute little place named Marianne’s thats down the road from my house she makes the best tamales

9: Radio station: 94.5 The Buzz

8: Yankee candle scent: Clean Linen

7: Perfume: i dont

6: Flower: Lilies

5: Color: pink

4: Talk show host: Steve Harvey

3: Comedian: John Mulaney

2: Dog breed: Pit Bulls

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? 100%

#ask #nydcreep

2 notes · View notes

water1oo · 7 years

Text

super long post i sorry

this has honestly been the best week ever and i am so happy.

my boyfriend has been over the moon happy that i came here for his birthday and he’s also beyond happy because i’ve been able to hang out with his friends and family more and all of them approve hardcore of me and love me.

and it’s not just talk because one of his friends is super cynical and always finds at least one thing to hate a person for and i’ve seen this happen but she’s never said a thing about me so !!!!!

all his friends are very blunt people and they all love me. like they’ve gone out of their way to make me feel welcome. yesterday i was wondering alone a bit because i was getting anxious and his friend found me and he was like “hey you come on over here and hang out with us” and he let me third wheel him and his boyfriend while i was able to calm down a bit to go back to the main party.

when we were bowling they would cheer for me and actually pay attention to my plays which was nice bc a lot of people went ignored

they repeatedly were telling me “take the mic we love you and you’re in safe space” when we were doing karaoke

at the end of the night yesterday another one of his friends was actually asking me for advice about his love life so and my boyfriend told me if he doesnt like you he will just be curt and ignore you politely but he actually kept bringing me into the conversation about his woes and actually cared a lot about my input on the issues so holy fuck that was lit?

at the end of the night yesterday all his friends asked to add me on snapchat which made me :00000 and today two of his friends are actually snapping me and talking to me

OH AND YESTERDAY HIS FRIENDS LITERALLY SAID I WAS NOW A PART OF THEIR GROUP LIKE BRUH. I WASNT JUST AN HONORARY GUEST THEY SAID I WAS A PART OF THE GROUUUUP

oh and his mom??? she fucking adores me. and let me be real with you, his mother is kind of a total bitch and doesn’t care about hurting people’s feelings so her liking me is WILD. she actually let me stay alone at her house while my boyfriend was at work bc she actually trusts me. she’s been nothing but the sweetest person to me

today i told her i could go out while he was working and she said “oh no dear, we actually really like you and want you to feel at home here” and he said that without my boyfriend being around. she said “i really appreciate how you’ve taken care of my son these past few days too and” blah blah blah i’ve won the mom over and i was scared she might hate me especially after a week of having me here.

and last night after celebrating his birthday with friends we had a good heart to heart and he was telling me how much he loved me (he was sober too so even more meaningful haha) and how he’s never been this happy before with anybody, that never in a relationship has everyone he cares about approved so completely of the person he’s dating. then a lot of other very sappy stuff was said and done that i won’t bore you with here but those things he said made me fall in love with him even more. it was romantic AF

i don’t think i mentioned this before, but since i’ve a lot of access to his friends this past week i’ve gotten to see just HOW MUCH HE TALKS ABOUT ME TO THEM. his friends knew my zodiac sign and know what sort of things i’m sensitive about, they said this one thing and immediately apologized to me and said “i’m so sorry chris told me you don’t like that sort of talk” and changed the topic and all these other things. a lot of times i’d walk away and while i was coming back i could hear him telling his friends how much he loved like i’m so shook

and this is isn’t related to my boyfriend, but i got to hang out with these two other friends this week and it was so nice and fun because making new friends is literally the best thing ever and it’s always been hard for me but i’m doing it!! i’m making friends and becoming closer to people!!!

BISH IM IN SO LOOOOOVE WITH THIS GUY. IM SO HAPPY. AND IM SO SAD I’M LEAVING TOMORROW BECAUSE THIS WEEK HAS BEEN SO MUCH FUN. i dont wanna go back to being long distanced because i have had so much fun with him, i wish i could be up here for the entire summer.

there’s so many other things i wanna say but i don’t want to bore everyone with the 5 trillion details.

2 notes · View notes

dramallamma · 7 years

Text

Diet coke and Ghost Happiness.

This is just general journaling and there is some disordered weight talk, so yknow warning warning red flags waving etc.

It is the first hot day of the season today. Its early for it to be as warm as it is but the high today will be 85 degrees with a lot of humidity, and I hate hate HATE it. Fortunately it’ll go back down to be in the 60s for the rest of the week.

Aside from that I really dont have much to complain about today. Weight-wise I broke my plateau and finally got to 85 pounds. Granted it was 85.8, which is practically 86, but after two weeks of the number not budging from 86 I’ll take what I can get. I’m not calling it official until I see what it will be tomorrow and the next day, because for all I know it might go back up. My weight kind of does whatever the hell it wants most days. But for today, I’m happy. Its incredibly superficial and completely disorder driven but its there, kind of. Any sort of happiness the disorder feels, any praise I get from that side of myself that wants me to dwindle down to nothing, is translucent. Its a ghost. Its walking through life on thin ice. But for today, I’ll take it.

But sister, brother in law, and 9 month old nephew are in town for a few days again on their way back to Michigan. Its such a pain in the ass. As a family they hate being alone so whenever I’m not at work they essentially expect me to entertain them. Same goes for my parents, which is wildly selfish because my mom is still sick as a dog. They’re a very “in-your-face” kind of couple and I can only be with them for a little while before I start wanting to strangle my brother in law. He’s not a bad person by any means, and I’m so happy that he and my sister found each other because they truly are great together. But he as an individual is hard to take. He’s incredibly pushy, incredibly me-me-me-me-me, incredibly loud and in everyones’ business. He’s exactly the type of person I try to stay away from at all costs. So as much as I like seeing my sister and nephew, I’ll be glad when they leave.

I’ve picked up the habit of drinking diet soda again in the last month or so. I used to be addicted to the stuff back in high school but got off it for a few years. However, now that I’m working I find that a large thermos of decaf coffee and a few sips of diet soda really works to keep the hunger at bay for the majority of my day.

Tbh I’ve been thinking about my two stays in an inpatient hospital in 2014 a lot more recently. On a whole I think they made me worse - living in inpatient (or any sort of residential hospital setting, really) is like living in a fish bowl of disordered tendencies. Its being surrounded by hyper disordered individuals at all times and it really puts a magnifying glass to everything your (and everyone elses’) disorder does and causes. In a lot of ways its a great environment for the disorder to thrive. Not to mention the lack of control - for me especially, I’ve always found I do better and get farther in recovery when I’m going it alone. That being said I’ve got about 15 years of hyper-obsessive nutrition studies under my belt and while I dont practice what I preach, I do know a ton about how to re-feed and what nutrients to get, while not being so focused on macros that it becomes disordered itself. And I also know myself very well at this point and I know what does and doesn’t trigger me. But inpatient does have its pro’s. Its safe. Its free from trying to control everything. You eat what they prescribe you without having to think about if you’re making the right choice by eating those foods or the quantity of foods, because there are doctors making those decisions for you. As an inpatient in a hospital setting, all I had to do was deal with the emotional and physical ramifications of eating what they put in front of me and gaining weight. It was a lot less complicated than doing all those things in addition to controlling my own meal plan and constantly second guessing my choices of food and exercise (or lack thereof).

I dont even know why the fuck I’m writing about all this, either. I guess its a way of thinking out loud.

I doubt I’ll ever go back to inpatient, because the negative experiences from all my higher level treatment stays far outweigh the positives. But there is still a certain attraction to that environment. While facing a lot of very complicated issues, life as an inpatient has a certain level of simplicity to it that I miss.

I have four hours until I can leave, but its payday (!). I’m happy about that. Lets just hope the rest of the shift passes easily.

And if anyone actually took the time to read all this BS you’re an angel and deserve kittens and puppies and stuff like that. I love you and have a wonderful day.

#ed relapse #ed recovery #edulting #anxiety #personal

4 notes · View notes

shoeshoesho · 5 years

Text

August 15, 2019

I am having a hard time motivating myself lately. Maybe the unemployment is getting to me finally. I went on a little excursion yesterday. reminded me how important it was to do so. Anyways, i sit here, counting down the hours until tyler is back.. 4:30. When did I get like this? Lazy. apathetic. pathetic, really. We drove home a few days ago and i was in good spirits because ive been wanting to go home- i dont know why.. maybe cause im super bored. Anyways, long story short the whole health scare became overwhelming. When I was younger I used to think my dad was kind of an asshole to my mom, in the way that every time she said something was wrong with her health wise he always dismissed her and said, “your fine, your over reacting.” I think its a chinese thing to do, dismiss health issues and allow the body to heal on its own. Refuse medicine. High blood pressure is bullshit. My mom later found a leakage in her bowl that was the size of a softball. lo and behold, I find myself doing this to tyler as well.. I dont think it is quite the same though. I think it is more of a coping mechanism, allowing my life to go on as we handle the situation day by day (a continuous and classic coping mechanism I use all the time). The other is as a health care provider, I really trust the professional judgement of the medical team and not of a quick google search, “what causes neuropathy,” or “CMT symptoms.” I found myself, at the ER, with two of tylers cousins, his aunt, uncle, mom, dad. Grandmas crying on the phone. phones going off- bling, boop. Tears falling every few 30 min. And i found myself having to lie in a way, I found myself having to act stupid, I really had to make a good impression- I thought. I have become closer with his mom and dad, great family. Anyways the point is, after that whole deboccle, I finally came home and my mom basically told me I looked like shit. I felt like I had done 50 lines of cocaine the night before and didnt sleep more than 2 hrs (this was right after i spent the day with him at the hospital). I continued to feel awful the next day and the next. As I continue to come off that awful feeling (I think), I realize i felt I lost a sense of self in the experience. That day I came home I missed my friends.. some people I havent actually seen in months I lied to and said i wasnt here, because i knew there was no way i would have time/energy to see them. I had flashbacks of going to those pretentious shitty bars in SF on fridays or even in mountain view. As the terror went on, I realized, was I imagining my life single? As a single woman? As the iminent old age continues and my usefulness as a woman declines, right. marriage is impending. I have fantasized about me and T getting married. I know it to be true and i would say yes if he asked me today or tomorrow. I dont doubt a moment he is not the one. Weve talked about it before. But this self Identity crisis is concerning.. and the fantasies continue, after my hiking trip (which is weird. Normally after a big trip I feel like i released some sort of burden on the trail, in which i come back to life with less worries than before). Lately it really hasnt been doing it for me, and i know it when i summit and I am sitting on top. For a split second, I imagined myself at a club, you know. when your looking for love and stuff and you are completely shit faced and you end up talking to someone that is half decent maybe (but you know is potentially a piece of shit). elation. mystery. danger? Theres a similar fight or flight response you get when you meet someone new or do something exciting (like scaling a mountain because its fucking dangerous). Do I miss that? I just feel stagnant. Like im fucking waiting around, but i have so much to do yet no will to complete it. I want to do something crazy you know? And i still miss my freinds. I think its an identity crisis thing. Maybe its from giving your partner so much of yourself- time, love, space, thoughts, memories. You begin to fill those other holes that used to be filled with your color only, and you find yourself forgetting what shade you once were. There is a sense of loss in self. I imagine, this is what can happen when you have a child as well. For the first time after writing this, I have a split second of reconsidering having children. I have realized I am in a small depression. I dont want to leave the trailer. I seem to be unable to plan things because i dont really want to do anything at all. I am unable to enjoy the things I once enjoyed. Is this what I want? I love him with all his issues and stuff. But this is the first time I have really wanted to just be me. Will it end in a blow out in one year? possibly? I have no idea. Am I selfish? Because i feel I am. Selfish after being self-less. I miss being in dolores park and being one of the guys. I miss going out with the girls and having big hang outs. IDK it was also fucking lonely and depressing, and you were always on the prowl for that someone. Always thirsty (for love or sex - people often confuse the two). I don’t care what you say but you either thirst or you give up and you never really really give up... its just natural. I will probbaly have to talk to tyler about this. Id like to let him know what is going on rather than fading away like most marriages and divorces in the united states result in.

i used to think I would climb every mountain in the united states. every national park. I havent used my ice pic once this year. T is unable to do those things with me becasue of his feet. He knows that, I know that- yet I still love him. But whose fault is that? My own. I need to get out of the trailer

0 notes