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anamoli · 2 years ago

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Selecting Materials for Talanah Cosplay

Between the two cosplays I'll be working on this year, the materials in Talanah's outfit are - unconventional. Aloy's Shield-Weaver outfit is pretty straightforward: there's lots of leather bits, some leather fringe, some rope every now and then, a quilted chest piece, and the armor pieces which will be 3D printed. All in neutral/common colors. Nothing out of the ordinary. Besides the lights, but I'll save that for another post.

Talanah on the other hand, has a little bit more texture going on. And a lot more color. The 3D pieces for the armor and how they'll be assembled seems straightforward enough, but the fabric for the rest of the cosplay isn't. The main textures I've pulled are categorized in the following:

Lightweight, textured fabric with some type of iridescent/shimmery threads

Leather pieces and straps in various shapes/sizes

Burlap fabric that is embroidered with gold thread

The colors identified for this cosplay are:

Burgundy: used in Texture 1 and Texture 2

Turquoise: used in Texture 1 and Texture 2

Gold: used in Texture 1 and Texture 3

Now, if I wasn't planning on actually climbing in this cosplay, sourcing materials wouldn't be an issue. But because I am going to climb, I can't get anything that would tear easily or catch on the rocks. Therefore, the sourced material needs to meet the following requirements in order of most to least importance:

Durability: needs to survive the wear and tear of climbing

Color: needs to match the colors in the cosplay

Shimmer: for materials that require it, needs to have some reflectivity

Texture: for materials that require it, needs to have some depth

I have ordered sample swatches of the materials that I think meet as many of these requirements as possible. I'll be making another post of the final selection as well as links to those materials.

The remainder of this post is a record of my research as well as my reasonings for selecting particular materials to get sample swatches.

Material 1: Lightweight, textured, and shimmery

Despite working at a custom costume shop, I'm not all that familiar with all the different types of fabrics out there. We mostly dealt with lycra and sequins (stuff that's easy to dance in and is shiny), so I had to consult Google for some guidance. This website was a wonderful resource!

The silk hammered/crushed satin I've found are absolutely perfect for the look of the cosplay:

However, they all fail the first criteria: durability. Despite how great they would look for the cosplay, it would only function as a show piece and would tear so hard if I attempted climbing in them. (Also, the fabric is like $85-$135 per yard, so perhaps it isn't that great of a loss)

The runner ups for each color are below:

Burgundy

What I'm aiming vs what I've found:

A metallic wavy brocade on polyester/lurex that would be quite durable and looks to have excellent shimmer and texture. The color seems to be a little darker than what I need, but that will be determined once the sample swatch arrives. $49.99/yd

A metallic crinkled brocade on lurex/polyester that would also be quite durable, looks to have great shimmer, and the color match is decent. The texture pattern is a bit small, but the crinkle might make up for it. $39.99/yd

A polyester/cotton tweed weave with loops for texture that is an excellent color match. However, the loops may catch on rocks, and the weave pattern doesn't seem to shine. $19.80/yd

Turquoise

What I'm aiming vs what I've found:

A metallic brocade on Thai silk that is a little too blue and wouldn't be super durable, but the shimmer and texture are spot on. I thought it would be really cool if this cosplay used Thai silk since Talanah seems to be of Asian descent, but I'm not sure if it's the best match overall. $5.99/yd

A silk jacquard with fantastic shimmer and texture, but also a little too blue and might not be very durable. $36.61/yd

A metallic brocade on polyester/lurex that would be very durable but fails on color for being too green. Shimmer is there but texture is very distracting. $44.99/yd

Gold

What I'm aiming vs what I've found:

A metallic velvet on cotton/rayon with wonderful color, shine, and durability. There is no texture, but since it's the sash and is mostly covered up anyway, I'm okay with it. Additionally, having the sash textured may detract from the textures from the other two colors. $35.99/yd

A silk brocade with Indian floral zari motifs that is a great color match, texture, and shine. It may not be so durable, but again, since a lot of the sash is covered, it may not contact rock very often. $5.95/meter

Fabrics that made the final cut for swatch samples:

Burgundy: I've ordered swatches for 1 and 2. The fabrics seem to have excellent color, texture, and shine. Since they both have smooth finishes, it should be durable enough to climb in.

Turquoise: I wasn't actually too happy with anything I've found, so I ended up getting a swatch from the group of perfect-looking fabrics. My reasoning is that I think the shirt is fairly protected by the burlap sash, embroidery, chest sling, AND leather pieces. The chances of the silk contacting rock are quite low and I'd be happy to splurge a bit on the fabric. $85/yd

Gold: Since I only found 2 decent fabrics, I ended up getting swatches of both. Depending on how all the fabrics look together, I'll decide on which fits the overall look better.

Material 2: Leather Pieces and Straps

No, I'm not going to purchase real leather (I'm already going to drop $85 on a single yard of fabric). The next best thing is using faux leather or making my own out of suedecloth and foam per this wonderful tutorial here:

I'm aware that many cosplayers can do some amazing stuff with EVA foam and paint, but I don't like painting and sitting at my computer comparing colors online is a lot easier. At this point, I'll need to match the color of the swatches I purchased. I'm doing my best to match things by the images the seller took, but I'll do a final comparison of everything once all the swatches arrive.

Burgundy

Faux leather (F) and suede-cloth (S) options:

F1: a little too brown, but very close. Great texture. $17.99/yd

F2: a little too purple, but it's serviceable. $45.37 for 6 yds

S1: perfect color. $11.25/yd

S2: too red. Only sold by the bolt.

Turquoise

Faux leather (F) and suede-cloth (S) options:

F1: great color and perfect texture! $4.40 for a 9"x12" sheet

S1: color is spot on. $52.61/yd

S2: a tad bit on the green side. $21.99/yd

Deciding on whether to go with faux leather vs suede-cloth comes down to cost and time savings, as well as determining what the cosplay calls for. Purchasing 1 yard of the burgundy faux leather and maybe 4 sheets of the turquoise faux leather comes out to ~$36; whereas getting 1yd x 2yd, 4mm craft foam to glue to the suede-cloth is already $39.

In terms of time savings, there are only 3 leather pieces that are required in burgundy and 25 leather pieces (+2 for the pants) that are required in turquoise. I'd much rather cut the pieces and call it a day - instead of gluing down suede to foam and then cutting them out. Since there aren't any ridiculously large pieces that are required to be all in one piece, it makes sense to just go with the faux leather.

Material 3: Burlap and Gold Thread Embroidery

Thankfully burlap is a really easy material to find in the right color to match the gold sash ($15.98/yd):

As for the rope trim that is on nearly every single article of clothing, a quick measurement on the 3D model of the character revealed that there is ~0.25" space for them and there are 3 distinct trims.

The trim that just looks like a bunch of individual threads sort of exists, but only as something called a flat gimp or soutache braid (which means there's a second row running against it). I'm not going to bother with ensuring the braids are completely perfect, so I'll say that having 3 separate trims is good enough.

To achieve the 0.25" width, I'll use the following trims and some gold embroidery thread to attach it to all the pieces:

0.7mm gilt twist rope trim

3 mm gilt twist rope trim

3 mm braided rope trim

Technically I could run a very thin zig-zag stitch on the edges of the pieces with the embroidery thread, but that sounds like a nightmare to the machine (and by extension to me), so I'd say that's all the materials I'll need for this section!

Final Remarks

There are a couple more items that will be required for the cosplay such as: brown faux leather for the forearm and calf bracers, armor straps, and the headdress strap; filament and resin to print the armor pieces; some type of gold wire to connect the armor pieces; clasps; elastic; the usual basic sewing supplies. However, since those items are easily attainable, I didn't want to cover them here.

It was definitely a process to do the research for the specific materials, but it'll be well worth it in the end product!

Total projected cost of materials including materials not covered in this post: ~$400

#cosplay #horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #talanah khane padish #carja blazon master #this is going to be a lot of money #thanks engineering job for funding my hobbies #proj-2023-00 #proj-research

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six-costume-refs · 4 years ago

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Costume Info from Gabriella Slade’s Webinar (7 Sep 2021)

Hey y’all! Today the Victoria and Albert Museum hosted a talk with Gabriella Slade to discuss her work on SIX as the costume designer. @lightleckrereins and I attended and wrote up two posts about it. This post includes all of the information about the costumes and their creation, and you can head over here to find a liveblog with some of our fun comments and memes!

Non-Six stuff:

First West End show she had ever seen was Beauty and the Beast, but had seen local theater before

Drew photos of wedding dresses and fashion etc

Did a standard year in college and then specialized in design for 2nd/3rd years

From Six learned the int’l process, movement, necessity for the right fabrics under lighting

Upcoming and current shows include Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Cher Show

Advice for aspiring costume designers is to build a website/portfolio and you have to be quite bold about contacting directors

Six stuff, non-costume about the early process:

Met writers/directors/producers to discuss the show before seeing it

She wanted the job because of the concept

worked off of Emma Bailey’s set designs when designing the costumes

Misc:

The official name for the mic holders is mic holsters

Next we moved on to a slideshow:

Taking inspiration from the queens’ historical portraits:

She wanted to see how the queens were depicted during their time first

Get familiar with the time and understand the historical wives before even the first sketch

Aragon - black and gold

Cleves - stripe elements

Parr - high neck

Photos of other period clothes:

Details in fabric, lace-ups, embellishments, lattice work

Also looked at menswear, specifically mentioning tabs and sleeves as inspired by men’s fashion at the time

Slide with fashions of contemporary inspirations (Gareth Pugh, Bellmine, etc)

Modern fashion takes a lot of inspiration from the tudor era

Powerful silhouettes

She wanted to give each queen a distinct silhouette that was both powerful and delicate at the same time

Slide with costume close ups and details:

Some photos we had seen before and some we hadn’t

Two new Aragon samples that we hadn’t seen, one close to the final product with a few different patterns, one completely new

What looks like a Cleves test with a different mesh design

Photos are mostly Broadway with some from other productions

Cast photo with other info:

They talked about how the costume designs are tied together

FABRIC!!

Sequin, mesh, studded trim, materials are the elements in common

Wanted to make the studded trim the main element

The Broadway designs are now the designs for all productions (no word on which Cleves version will be standard)

Questions and Answers were next:

Asked what it was like to work on her first SIX production:

Didn’t say much other than very excited during og fittings

First time the queens were in costume for the first UK tour everyone was really excited.

The way they walked changed after trying on the costumes

How she decided what to change and some examples of what changed:

Once she saw under the lights could see that she wanted to change the sleeves or add more detail etc

Construction and longevity of wear led to some diff things

originally were all one piece now several so they can wash, better maintain (studs fall off), how they keep form, etc.

Mentioned Cleves going from silver to red

The choreography and the way the queens move with the costumes led to construction changes

Parr pants were pleather (first UK tour original pants), now printed lycra (went with regular lycra until before Broadway)

Skirts used to collapse before new materials and more structure got implemented

Plays around with fabrics on the stand prior to construction to figure out how it works (This is an important step of costume making in general, and even more so for SIX when the materials they use don’t behave like regular fabric)

Suede base on Bway boots with lattice on top

Miscellaneous info from answers:

Broadway boots and earrings were implied to be exclusive to that production

She loves cosplay and fanart!

Advice for Boleyn specifically: you need a good base fabric

Not allowed to say much about construction

Headpieces use crin (a.k.a. horsehair braid or crinoline)

Cleves costume - strength

Timeframe for construction is about six weeks - usually 4-5 fittings each but there’s some variance depending on costumes

Aragon tends to have more fittings

Costumes last to varying degrees of time

Main concern is about keeping form and shape

Costumes last until they don’t look great onstage (so far its been about 8-10 months), because of materials mending is impossible and alterations hard

Doesn’t have a favorite costume, but would wear Parr if she could choose one to wear

#gabriella slade #six the musical #six the musical cosplay #six musical #six costumes #six broadway #costume design

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zoe-oneesama · 5 years ago

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"#we had a fourth but we don't talk about her" well now you've piqued my interest, if you're willing to break your vow of not talking about her? :o

For the most part, it was just a lot of little niggles that piled up on each other that really soured my impression of her and made us not want to invite her back in the future.

The group was made of Me and My best friend, so my sister invited her friend at the time and she was going to be our Sailor Sylveon. And she was pretty egocentric about it. We’d make dates for meet ups to work on our stuff and she’d blow us off to hang out with her ex boyfriend (at a place less than a minute from my house -_-;), which also meant her costume ended up not being as cohesive as ours since she not only wasn’t working on it with us but also wasn’t communicating with us when she worked on it on her own.

It became pretty obvious she wanted to be the Princess Serenity/Sailor Moon/Scout Leader of the group but never came out and said it and we also never nominated her for it? So she’d suggest things to make her costume “special” which we always had to shut down (like putting on a corset under lycra). And it just caused a lot of annoyance. In the end she ended up working on her costume literally the day of the con and it kinda showed. She really didn’t look like Sylveon or an Eeveelution character at all because she didn’t incorporate all the colors or get the ear shape right. If she’d shown up to any of our cosplay dates we would’ve pointed that out and fixed it.

Then came the con, where the only thing she wanted to do was have her picture taken. The ONLY thing. I guess her motive the whole time was to launch her cosplay model career? On our first sewing job ever? The problem was without the three of us, nobody knew who she was. She was just very pink and in a sailor moon inspired look, but she really just looked like a Sailor Bunny. So she’d get pretty pouty and annoying when we went anywhere where it was impolite to stop traffic by taking photos, like the artist alley or panels or anything else that you actually go to a con for.

It got to the point where me and my friend kinda wandered off from her in the artist alley. We spent so much time catering to her need for attention and I just wanted to enjoy the con but she made a big funk about us “ditching her” and I’m like “you are too old to be dealing with this childishness Zoe.”

The final straw was my car. We all drove down in my prius and there were five of us (5th girl was not in our group and stayed mostly with her other friends) and it was a tight fit, to the point where I actually told everyone not to buy big plushes or pillows or anything because all the trunk space was taken up by our bags and props. And what does this girl do? She buys 3 mega plush and a bunch of large/medium plush that engulf the back seat. You had one rule but you were too self absorbed to think about that.

She tried really hard to stay at my apartment for the night but I basically Mom Friended her into driving home immediately before it got dark and I haven’t seen her since. Now when me and my friends go to cons we’re so paranoid about being like her that we have problems telling each other what we want to do for risk of being the Selfish One.

#personal #gossip #Anonymous

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morporkian-cryptid · 5 years ago

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Art blog interest check!

Instagram has been getting more and more fucked up lately, especially where artists are concerned, and I’m considering moving completely to Tumblr - but I’d like to do an interest check first before making a dedicated side-blog !

An art blog would include:

Fanarts, mostly Lupin III but some other stuff too (because as we all know I have too many fandoms)

OCs, with corresponding ramblings about my babies

Fully colored drawings that I spend way too long on

Shitpost sketches that I also spend way too long on

Digital art

Traditional art (usually felt pens or alcohol pens)

Attempts at watercolors (I’m getting better!)

Other people’s OCs because they’re damn cool

Craft stuff, because when I’m not drawing, I’m making war fans, badges, screencap re-embroidery, and bad lycra neckties for cosplay

Maybe also art requests, art trades, collabs… Idk! We’ll see!

You can already see some of it on my Wordpress (which has a total of two regular visitors), or my Insta @ zoe_dessins.

Soooo yeah, just interact with this post if you’re interested in seeing more of the stuff I make!

#my art #the hobbit draws

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lilsherlockian1975 · 5 years ago

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woke up from this weird-ass dream at 3.30am & had to share...

So, first off, my (newest) excuse for ghosting in and out of tumbler lately is that I started working about 2 weeks ago. I’m back at a hotel and working 3rd shift. I just finished a 4 day stretch and my sleep is a bit wonky but that doesn’t account for this crazy-train of dream.

I have to divide it into two halves. First half: not so weird as I’m ‘dog sitting’ for my sister, only her house is not her house at all and it’s in a different city. She had, evidently, told me to try the local farmer’s market, which I did. I bought a shit-ton of veg and was making... something. Let me just say that even with the oddness and celebrity cameos (you’re gonna want to stick ‘round for that) of the 2nd half, the fact that I was cooking is probably the strangest part of the whole experience. At some point my husband shows up and things get ever so slightly PG-13 (this is not so weird, I’m one of those odd women who actually have smexy dreams about her husband. to my defense, he’s kind of awesome). Note: I met and talked to several different people at the farmer’s market and they were all super cool.

Second part: my ‘friend’ (an entirely made up person that I have no *remembered* connection to in my waking life) shows up to tell me “You won, Lil! You won the contest!!” Which I was well aware of entering, or dream me was. She and I travel (dream travel, so walk like five feet and we’re there) to this abandoned warehouse/murder house/secret government facility and I’m suppose to wait for (and here’s one of my celebrities!!) Dwayne ‘the Rock’ Johnson.

Pretty cool, huh?

Okay, so, we even have a ‘host’. The actor Rizwan Manji (he’s been in a ton of stuff, Outsourced, Arrested Development - Oh and Schitt’s Creek). He’s himself in the dream and I’m pretty jazzed about meeting him, already. He takes me and my made-up friend down to the ‘basement’ of this scary-ass place and gives me a costume (it’s sort of a bat-girl thing but supposedly made of futuristic materials). It’s not gonna fit, I can see that by looking at it but I excuse myself into the bathroom (which is super swank for being in the basement of a murder house, or somesuch) and sort of kill time before having to tell the nice actor that futuristic or not, this body ain’t made for lycra (unless it’s a spanx and underneath my clothes!!)

Anyhoo, when I come back out Rizwan and my friend are at the other end of the corridor and have this plastic ball-shooting gun and are shooting bouncy rubber balls with the name of The Rock’s next film on them (sorry, I didn’t see the name - I’ve got no inside info on that). This is great fun. Also, there are stray cats (animals, not the band)...everywhere. They’re playing with the balls too. Rizwan shows me and my friend to the large door in the ground (like a hatch or something) and I’m supposed to go down there and wait for The Rock.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: Dream Lil is pretty gullible. And you’re right. I’m just taking everything at face-value at this point and going with the flow. I go down, check it out (it has tons of hallways and rooms but seems to be mostly just dug-out dirt) I come back up and my friend and Rizwan are no where to be seen. THEN... I hear a scuffle. Naive Dream Lil thinks this is some kind of set-up for a dramatic entrance for The Rock.

LET ME BE CLEAR: IT’S NOT. It’s murder time.

Because then I see my friend’s feet being dragged down a side hall (very Roman theater - off screen violence - which I can only attribute to the fact that I’m shit at writing fight scenes) and I’m all: “Time to panic!” But wait! Enter The Rock. He appears (out of nowhere) and silently motions for me to go back down the hatch and I just somehow know he’s going to fight the badguys. At this point I feel disappointed because I like a good fight. Even Dream Lil could kick an ass or two but I am NOT arguing with The Rock. So I open the hatch and start to descend but then remember the cats. I grab as many as I can, then wrangle a bunch down the ladder (yes, in my dream cats can somehow repel down a ladder - it’s an effing dream, give me a break). I then close the hatch. Thing is, it’s loud. I know it’s loud and I’m convinced it’s going to alert the badguys and that they’re going to find me and I’ll have to fling cats at them or something. Then........

My husband comes back from the bathroom and accidentally wakes me up! I have no idea how it ends but I do have a vague memory of John Phillip Sousa being involved, so maybe I had worked out the soundtrack at some point in there? Which is weird, because I’m not really that into super patriotic or like... war music, but I digress.

And that’s the story about how I woke up at 3.30 am and couldn’t go back to sleep.

What’cha think?

#dreams #dwayne the rock johnson #lil's awake so you suffer #the cats were okay when I woke tho #so that's good at least

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raijinhasverybigpecs · 5 years ago

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tu’er headcanons that i probably should’ve done and posted along with the main oc post but it’s too late now

can i just say that he’s short lol. taller than awilix by a few cm

sentimental as hell, his temple is cluttered with lots of offerings. he’s kind of a hoarder but shhh

big tea lover, adores holding tea parties and little get togethers in his temple. naturally loves bubble tea as well 😌

natural recluse, aphrodite keeps trying to drag him out of his shell but he’s just a loser like that. also hates drawing attention to himself

yes he listens to pop music. do you really think a gay rabbit twink wouldn’t stan loona?

very private about his past. he won’t tell anyone.

good memory! you’ve got to have one when you’re matching people around the world anyways

cordial but distant relationships with most of the gods. hates violence so he won’t talk with the more chaotic gods at all. he’ll work with them in battle but not anymore than he has to

a cardio bunny, does a lot of running in some terribly short shorts. does a lot of gymnastics as well, it’s partly an excuse to wear bright lycra but being real flexible comes in handy in many different situations

sensitive hearing. you guess why :P

eyes change colour from red to light pink according to what mood he’s in. red is happy, negative emotions are very pale reds and positive & romantic emotions equal bright pinks

can change his appearance to some extent - can remove the bunny ears and tail (as he’s not actually a rabbit god, just somewhat associated with them)

romantic/god relationship/nsfw stuff below the cut!

romantic headcanons

naturally he’s very romantic. loves a big gesture but definitely not anything too gaudy or attention grabbing, something like chocolates and a teddy bear is very up his alley

subtle flirt, says little comments and compliments here and there to test the water then he pounces (or bunny hops?). he’ll keep up with whatever you’ve got if he’s looking for something carnal and isn’t afraid to talk dirty to get what he wants out of you

but if he’s romantically interested then’s he’s very easily flustered and embarrassed. he’ll only do that if he’s really into you though~

moves very slowly in a relationship but he falls in love quickly. it’s always been an issue for him but he’s learnt a lot of self-control so you’ll have to really show your dedication to him to gain his trust

god relationship stuff - kinda nsfw lol

also if someone isn’t included that doesn’t mean i hate them (hi cu chu...) i just got tired and these are the more obvious relationships i thought about lol. maybe send in an ask about other gods ;^)

achilles - gay alliance 🙏 they have that gay relationship where there’s a lot of flirting but they’re just having fun. tu’er shen recommends romantic things for achilles to do so he can get those brownie points (and he’s totally on the threesome list for achilles and patroclus lol)

amaterasu - friends! they like to geek over cute things while they go shopping with each other and tu’er shen helps pick out outfits for her dates. they often have tea together as well :)

aphrodite - they’re very close friends, they also have a mentor relationship. they’re very emotionally open with each other and it’s very common to find them talking to each other over tea. both will hunt you to the ends of the earth if you talk shit about the other

apollo - another gay alliance 🙏 apollo brings out the fun in tu’er shen and they do a lot of dumb stuff together. tu’er shen still dunks on apollo tho as he can never get a partner cuz he’s a clown. and they’ve messed around before, usually it’s for some god who wants to see two twinks making out (or doing something worse!) ;^)

bacchus - the top to tu’er shen’s bottom. yet another gay alliance 😳🙏 essentially just apollo but more intense. tu’er shen has done a lot of kinky stuff at bacchus’ parties that he says he regrets but they both know he likes being a thot lmao

bastet - like aphrodite but more playful and fun. tu’er shen basically knows that if he goes to visit bastet and they go out that he’ll end up having a one night stand somewhere and he’s not mad about it. tu’er shen gets teased a lot by bastet as well :^)

chang'e - a very quiet and peaceful relationship. sometimes chang’e will drop in for tea and they’ll spend some time enjoying each others company, otherwise they’re not super close. they’ll acknowledge each other with a nice smile and wave :) also tu’er shen really adores her relationship with hou yi as well (duh!) but less likes talking to hou yi cuz he’s a bit cocky

cupid - i refuse to write anything about this bobblehead lmao. cupid’s probs jealous about all that extra time tu’er shen is spending with aphro but he pros doesn’t care that much otherwise cuz he’s more popular lol

freya - just like aphrodite and bastet but tu’er shen sees her less. tu’er shen is a bit intimidated by her but whenever they get to talk they get on very very well. lots of romantic fluff between them

essentially aphro, bastet and freya are trying to get tu’er shen a boyfriend but he won’t let down his walls so getting laid is a decent alternative lmao. also aphro/bastet/freya and tu’er shen spend a day every few weeks watching romance films and naturally they’re common guests for tea :)

mercury - not a very close relationship (like chang’e!) but tu’er shen sometimes has him over for tea when he gets time between serving as a delivery boy as merc makes tu’er shen laugh. they might’ve messed aroudn a few times but it’s very casual :^)

mulan - one again they’re not super close but tu’er shen likes to help mulan take a break every now and then and she updates him on what’s happening. tu’er shen basically idolises mulan as well, he’s a bit starstuck by her whenever they talk lol

neith - they’re pretty close actually! they have a lot of things in common and they often hang around mortals any play matchmaker or just pretend to be human. it’s all very fluffy lol

nu wa - same as mulan, tu’er shen is very in awe of how regal and powerful she is. rarely do they meet up together but nu wa is a very smart and witty guest who sometimes knows tu’er shen better than himself

raijin - i mean... naturally i ship them but outside of that i will say that tu’er shen disliked him at first because he’s so loud and rowdy but seeing how friendly and loyal raijin is + them mascles + the fact that he’s just fighting for fun unlike many other gods makes him develop a lil ~crush~ on raijin. if i’m not shipping them together then they’d have tea together that would lead to casual sex lol

but yes, i’m shipping them together so suck it lmao. essentially they’re the bara jock and twink prep pairing which is how god intended it to be :^)

ravana - same thing as raijin inviting people in for ‘tea’. tu’er shen knows that if he really wants to get dominated he’s gotta see ravana in private and ravana is always ready... it’s rare when bunny boy has that urge but when he does they do stuff that’s intense enough for apollo to blush :^)

serqet - fashion. style. runway. nouns! they’re style buds and they help pick out outfits for each other and she comes around often for tea to gossip together~ he’s also a bit imtimdated by her but she’s very nice to him lol

tu’er shen likes to help neith and serqet make and try on outfits. that’s also how he’s got all those sexy bedroom outfits...

nsfw stuff :^) i mean who else is gonna write it lol

i like saying he’s a bottom but he’s vers and bottom leaning. adjusts accordingly for his partner as he’s happy to do whatever

flexible, no gag reflex, etc etc. he’s a pro and he knows it.

he doesn't actually have that much sex though as he’s (mostly) reserved. he is basically horny at all times but extremely good at controlling himself

prefers long sessions where he can release all that pent up energy and really get his partner to enjoy themselves and get into the lovin’ mindset. is ready to go again and again and again otherwise...

big collection of sex toys. it’s how he spends all that time alone...

loves roleplaying and wearing femme outfits. stockings are hot :^)

and with that eye colour thing, hot pink is when he’s really turned on <3

semen kink, actually likes swallowing. he likes a big finish, what can i say

#gay rabbit stuff #this took at while but at least i'm writing about him again hehe...#didn't want him to become contentless so i figured this would be apt lol #i had this planned for months but didn't do anything about it until today/yesterday #it's now 12:26am and i have to get up at like 7am lmao #oops!#it was worth it #probably lol #anyways pwease support him bc i love him 🥺

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johnnymundano · 6 years ago

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Paganini Horror (1989)

Directed by Luigi Cozzi

Screenplay by Luigi Cozzi and Daria Nicolodi

Music by Vince Tempera

Country: Italy

Running time: 82 minutes

CAST

Daria Nicolodi as Sylvia Hackett

Jasmine Maimone as Kate

Pascal Persiano as Daniel

Maria Cristina Mastrangeli as Lavinia

Michel Klippstein as Elena

Pietro Genuardi as Mark Singer

Luana Ravegnini as Rita

Giada Cozzi as Sylvia (child)

Elena Pompei as Sylvia's mother

Donald Pleasence as Mr. Pickett

Paganini Horror is a terrible 1989 Italian horror movie set in a decrepit Venetian villa where a terrible (mostly) girl pop group film a terrible video for a terrible song based on the terrible idea of using cursed music by Paganini. The aural nonsense these tinsel wits conjure summons the cranky spirit of the deceased composer to dispatch them one by one in imaginative, but seriously underfunded ways. And probably to stop them screaming, because, hoo boy, do these ladies scream. If you are a massive fan of women screaming Paganini Horror is the movie for you, my unusual friend. Much of the running time of Paganini Horror involves neither Paganini nor horror but rather women running around what seems like one corridor and three rooms screaming. Occasionally they all meet up and scream at each other in the same room, or that one bloody corridor. I swear at some points they bounce up and down and flap their hands while screaming like overwrought teenagers at a pop concert.

Which is ironic since they are a pop group themselves. They are the kind of fantastically talented (mostly) girl band who do the female cause no favours at all; the kind who play their guitars by keeping their fingers immobile and flat on the strings while provocatively moving their hips about while pulling faces which suggest they are experiencing a sexy form of menstrual cramp. The singer, Kate (Jasmine Maimone), doesn’t have an instrument because she is too busy prancing about, trying to see which she can open wider, her eyes or her mouth. The token bloke, Daniel (Pascal Persiano), is stuck behind the drums because no one wants to see his exposed belly button. I think they sing Bon Jovi’s terrible “You Give Love a Bad Name” but it’s kind of hard to tell. Anyway, they are so bad the movie doesn’t give the band a name (I think; I don’t really care), so we’ll call them The Chilblains. Whatever song The Chilblains are excreting, it isn’t good enough for their producer Lavinia (Maria Cristina Mastrangeli) whose ears apparently work, so Kate and Lavinia shout at each other, and things get so heated that Kate almost pushes a stool over but Lavinia arrests its fall just in time. Rock and roll Babylon! The Chilblains need new material to get them another million seller, and fast!

Daniel, the male drummer, sources some groovy material which will get the band back on track by, apropos of nothing, meeting a twitchy Donald Pleasence in a disused warehouse and purchasing a lost Paganini composition. Apparently, actually writing some decent music fails to occur to Daniel. The girls go wild for the fab synthed up sounds of groovy Paganini, and Lavinia books them into a spooky old house Paganini once passed water in, now owned by Daria Nicolodi’s Sylvia Hackett. The idea is to get top horror director Mark Singer (Pietro Genuardi) to make a smashing pop vid and get The Chilblains back shifting millions again. Unfortunately the video is shit. Even more unfortunately the restless spirit of Paganini is so upset by his music being co-opted by talentless chancers that it starts knocking them off in unintentionally amusing ways. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a woman burned alive in a poorly constructed giant violin case, baby.

Niccolò Paganini (b.1782) was a real person who probably didn’t live to see a woman burned alive in a poorly constructed giant violin case, but he was a legendarily amazeballs Genoan violinist. While Paganini Horror is hardly a fit cinematic tribute, he is a good choice for a spooky killer. Much like Cher, he is purported to have consorted with the devil, selling his soul in return for prodigious talent. Back then, see, there were no video games or movies for unimaginative reactionaries to blame everything on, so in desperation bits of wood that could make sounds such as the violin were considered the “devil’s instrument”, indicative of poor moral character and likely to cause an excess of excitement. And so extravagant was Paganini’s talent that it was thought only a satanic source could explain it. Or, y’know, he was talented and practiced a lot. Your call. Paganini died in 1840, possibly from mercury poisoning from being treated for syphilis. Maybe from tuberculosis. I don’t know, what am I, a historian? Paganini’s spookiness survived after his death to the extent that he wasn’t laid to rest until 1876, when priests finished debating what they should do with him. Priests apparently had a lot of time on their hands back then. None of that matters since all Paganini Horror is bothered about is Paganini was very musical and a little bit eerie.

Unfortunately looking up Niccolò Paganini on The Internet turns out to be a lot more exciting than watching Paganini Horror. Particularly finding out that all his teeth fell out from his syphilis treatment. But if you are inclined towards terrible Italian horror movies Paganini Horror has the odd slender wisp of a delight. There’s the ever twinkly Donald Pleasence, being all sinister and stuff; and you get quite a bit more of him than I was expecting, which is nice. Unsatisfactory Italian horror movies form a magical late stage in Pleasence’s career, where he basically rocks up acting in a movie which exists only in his head, and ends up being the most interesting thing in the movie outside of his head. Although genre legend (and co-scripter) Daria Nicolodi is intermittently to be seen acting, mostly she just goes with the whole screaming thing. Michel Klippstein as Elena is the best thing in the movie, but not for her acting. Unfortunately it’s because for the bulk of the movie she wears a nasty green lycra jump suit studded with a nonsensical pattern of holes. It’s kind of fascinating in a wholly abysmal way. Paganini Horror isn’t always terribly interesting so you may often find your mind wandering, wondering just how sweaty Michel Klippstein’s get-up got. I bet they had to burn that outfit once the filming stopped. Ew! In the interests of decorum I shall draw a discreet veil of “mostly adequate” over the other performances.

About on a par with the less than impressive acting is Luigi Cozzi’s relentlessly apathetic direction which exacerbates rather than disguises the clearly near lethal budgetary constraints. But would any more money have helped a horror movie helmed by someone so determined to so cluelessley fart away every death scene? Probably not. Make no mistake, Paganini Horror is not only terrible but, worse, it is often quite boring. This is quite a feat since the killer wears a gold mask and looks like a low budget musketeer prancing about and, as comically awesome as it is regrettably underutilised, there is also a gold violin with a spring loaded blade in the base. It’s like Cozzi has accepted a bet to make everything as tedious as humanly possible. In theory Paganini Horror has some clever ideas and creative slaughter, in practice however it is a drearily slow crawl punctuated by tedious screaming and hilariously cheap-shit SFX shenanigans. The best (i.e. worst) example is “The Invisible Barrier” which elicits some fantastic (i.e. rubbish) mime action as our cast pretend to be pushing against something that isn’t there, it also has a car crash into it but…off-screen! and a character is crushed to death by it, which just means the crew press a sheet of glass onto her face to distort it. Eyerolling never had it so good.

Be warned, sensation seekers of all ages, sure, Paganini Horror all sounds very camp and cheesetastic, but it is neither campy nor cheesy enough. It takes some weird anti-talent to render dull a movie which has a record producer who can identify a fungus by sight as being one used in the 18th century to give Stradivarius violins their unique sound. (I believe Kanye West has the same ability.) Don’t be fooled if any of that sounds fun; Paganini Horror is fun, but not fun enough by far. This Italian mis-fire is fit only for masochistic die-hards like myself rather than your average horror punter up for a good time. Ultimately then, not so much a case of Paganini Horror, but rather Paganini Torpor.

#Paganini Horror #Movies #Horror #Italy #The 1980s #1989 #Luigi Cozzi #Donald Pleasence #Daria Nicolodi

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chopper-witch · 6 years ago

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A Weapon of My Own Design: I Have My Suspicions (Ch 5)

Characters: Loki x OC (Ashira), random seedy people

Warnings: drinking, scars

Locations: Her ship, my MCU fanfic version of Coruscant

WC: 4,444 (approximately)

Summary: Loki is suspicious of Ashira. Ashira is just tired.

A.N: This one is shorter and probably still has lots of mistakes ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AWOMOD Master

“Breaking news in the Ninth Sector - Naboo has just been attacked by an Aresian fleet. Information is still coming in but according to ground sources an intermediary from Ares sent down is demanding information about the sighting of the escaped princess Ashira. Bounty for the return of her, unharmed, has been raised from four billion to eight billion credits. We will have more as more comes in.”

Loki sits quietly in the shadowed part of the stairs, reading the translation, eyes occasionally looking over to Ashira as she sits with her back to him, tinkering with yet another explosive piece of technology.

Her talking interrupts the translators, the machine simply saying error as she grumbles angrily in her first language. Loki isn’t too upset about that - it gives him a moment to think.

Her home is willing to pay eight billion credits for her safe return. That’s not a ransom for someone who stole her to return her, no, that’s how much they will give someone if they bring her back. And Ashira, she is dead set on staying away, even going so far as wanting to see her home burn. But she mentioned that even if her home burned her running would not end. Then there is her nightmares that he has only experienced once but assumes happen every so often. She begs in them for her parents not to let something happen, cries out in pain and regret when it does.

From what he knows, the only logical conclusion is she was part of some deal or trade that means enough to her home planet that she is worth paying billions of credits to whoever gets her back but also means enough to the other party that her running will never be over.

She stops her muttering, the machine beeping once indicating it has picked back up again.

“-has been completely destroyed due to the supposed lack of cooperation. The implosion technique was used and means there are likely no survivors.”

Loki looks up to see Ashira’s reaction.

Ashira stops fiddling with the bomb, staring straight out in front of her. As soon as those words cross her ears - implosion technique - her grip on her wrench tightens. It’s her fault they’re dead. If she hadn’t gone they wouldn’t have seen her and the Aresian fleet wouldn’t have come down to get information and then destroy the planet.

And if she hadn’t created that implosion bomb 300 years ago, there would be a chance of survivors.

Her building emotions blinds her from what her body is doing. Loki, however, isn’t blind and watches carefully.

She keeps squeezing the wrench more and more and more, her skin cracking slightly along each crevice. A light purple glow highlights the breaks, a more neon one in the palm of her left hand where the wrench sits. And as she continues to grind her teeth and angrily clench the tool, the ripping in her body becomes increasingly startlingly. She isn’t noticing, focused on her emotions.

That is until the power source of the grenade sparks out and the wrench turns to dust, her finger nails flying into her palm. Ashira pushes herself back from the table within a second of explosion. In front of her is nothing but near invisible dust - a wrench, a bomb, a highly explosive power source and an entire box of indestructible metals all gone into tiny particles.

It’s then she feels the burning on her skin. She looks down at her arms to see the cracked veins running along them, turning them over slowly to see the breaks everywhere, even on the hints of her legs that she can see. It’s the first time in a years she’s lost control.

First time in years she’s even used the terror inside her.

Ashira stands; the chair goes skittering backwards but she doesn’t pay any attention, instead turning herself towards the stairs to get away from her mess. Her eyes catch Loki’s.

Loki simply looks at her, trying to show no intentions at all. But Ashira on the other hand - she is paling, panting and eyes are widened in panic. If her skin wasn’t ripping apart to look like a purple volcano Loki might just tease her about seeing a ghost. The combination of the actual crackling noise mixed with the heat he feels radiating off of her silences him entirely.

“I need to shower.”

That’s all she says as she darts past him, nearly shoving him over in her dash to get upstairs.

Loki was already increasingly suspicious about her false intentions for their Naboo stop along with finding the book he cannot read but most definitely mentions Asgard and the Nine Realms. But this… watching her turn practically indestructible objects into nothing, her skin shattering as she does so is something else entirely.

He moves towards the table. A power of his is molecular rearrangement meaning if there is any molecular integrity left, he can turn these items back into their original form or into another entirely. But as the familiar green glow covers the dust, nothing happens. The items remain practically invisible, destroyed and unable to be reformed. Loki touches the thin layer of dust where the box of parts once was. It vanishes as soon as he touches it, simply disappearing entirely.

She shattered the molecular integrity of these objects; they have been shattered beyond their most basic aspects. They have, in all practicality, vanished.

Her power may very well be why she is so desired. And while he has no intention on turning her in, he does want to know everything she’s been hiding from him.

Those scattered notes of hers might be a good place to start.

If he could read them.

—

Two weeks later they finally land again on a planet in an entirely different quadrant. Two weeks of avoiding each other, uncomfortable silences and awkward interactions when they finally run into each other.

“Welcome to Coruscant. We’ll be here for at least a week,” Ashira pulls her sweater down over her hands, nervously playing with the edges. “I need to deal with some stuff. And if you want to stay here you are more than welcome.”

Ashira is leaning in the doorway, staring defeatedly outside. In the gritty morning light, her hair nearly fades into the sky. It’s braided back in yet another way he has never seen: two tight braids from each side but leaving the rest of her silver hair its natural curl, the braids never touching but somehow holding the hair from her face. A loose, white sweater reaches just above her knees, the deep blue of everything else that seems royal covering her legs with shoes to match.

“I’m going to stay with you, for now.” His voice is soft. “May I know what things you need to deal with?”

Ashira fiddles with the end of one of her braids. “I’d prefer not to tell you. You don’t want me to put you in more danger you let me do this by myself.” She sighs. “The main city is about two miles from here, not a long walk for us. You can do whatever you what when we’re down there.”

Loki walks to stand beside her, leaning on the right side of doorway. “Anything worth it there?”

“Give me two hours when we get to the city. I’ll tell you where to meet.”

It’s an awkward walk. For once Ashira seems almost entirely vulnerable but also completely guarded, hugging her own arms close to herself for most of the walk. Her fingers twitch whenever they lay by her side, tugging nervously at the edges of the fabric. Her entire aura seems off to Loki. She’s been twitchy before but not visibly nervous like this before.

At the city’s edge she stops.

“There is a fountain four blocks straight forward and another six to the right. Meet me there in an hour and a half.”

“Alright.”

The seediest bar in the city is a cesspool for the worst of the universe. It’s mostly just people running from charges, child traffickers who aren’t esteemed politicians. But it is the only safe place for Ashira to meet with the only person not trying to drag her back home. So she slides casually beside the fellow citizen of Ares, her ex lieutenant commander Selene.

Selene glances over to Ashira. Ashira’s face looks much like it did after their Lycra endeavor, where they got what they needed but got back with a lot less soldiers and a few too many scars.

And just a few inches of hair chopped off Ashira’s head when they got back.

“Rough day?” Selene asks, pushing her second drink to her left.

“You think?” Ashira picks up the glass. Though she knows better than to hold it to the shitty lighting she does it anyway. The glass, as expected, is a discolored cloudy gray, strays of brown along the sides.

“You need to stop checking out the glasses every time we meet here. It’s unbecoming.”

The ex-princess sets down the glass, eyes narrowing at her friend. “I live in my ship that was designed for duo missions that’s hundreds of years old. I do updates with non-compatible technology and spend most of my time going to cesspools like this. Looking at a glass is in no way unbecoming. Everything else I do, possibly.”

Loki slides into the seat at the bar three seats down in a disguise. Seeing Ashira beside someone also with silver (albeit nearly dark gray) hair at least six inches longer than Ashira’s but braided exactly the same and purple skin (hers only a shade or two lighter) is a surprise. She’s running from her home, why would she saddle up beside someone who could be trying to drag her back?

“You are horrendously overdramatic.”

The bartender steps in front of him. The woman is imposing, taller than nine feet and hell of a lot more terrifying than half the people in here.

“Whatever’s not poisonous.”

“Hm.”

“I’m really not in compared to you, Selene. Telling people you can control the moon and darkness, get over yourself.” The ex-princess sighs loudly as the bartender slams a drink that definitely looks poisonous in its green hue in front of Loki. “But seriously, tell me what’s going on, Selene? Why is everything getting worse?”

The prince leans forward to hear the response.

“He’s done with the army,” Selene replies, turning towards Ashira and lowering her voice. “He wants the stones.”

The stones?

“Shit.” She knows Loki followed her into the bar. This is bad and she promised to prevent him from getting danger. “We need to speak in Aresian. I may have picked up a stray.”

Loki leans back as she switches languages. It isn’t Kree since the device hasn’t picked anything up and sounds similar to the mumbles she lets out when something is going wrong.

Selene gasps, her mouth widening in awe. “You did what now?”

“Hey,” Ashira shrugs and sips a bit of the offendingly strong drink, “he fell face first in front of me out of the sky. Was I just supposed to leave him?”

“Wait, let me get this straight. Some guy just falls out of the sky and you just go like, ‘hey, hop in my shitty ship so I can patch you up’?” Selene pauses, tossing all her loose hair behind her shoulders, sending a sultry glance towards Ashira. “Or was it more dragging his unconscious body into your lair?”

Ashira shakes her head. “I’m stopping you there.” A soft sigh passes her lips. “No, he fell. He was alright actually, then a bunch of gangs tried to catch me so I was like, buddy, you gotta come with me. And he’s stayed so far.”

“So he’s the one you were caught running with on Naboo?” Selene chuckles quietly. “I thought you just grabbed a really cute hostage, not a live-in.”

Ashira smacks Selene’s left arm. “Now seriously, what the hell is going on? The stones?”

Ashira pushes the sleeves of her sweater up slightly. The room is warming as the crowd grows and she cannot keep them rolled down. A paled purple scar is obvious on her right wrist, one he has not seen before but is clearly old and healing over. It’s no more than a two inches long but wide, indicating it went deep and without proper medical attention. The edges are a jagged, mangled. It wasn't clean but was definitely rushed. How has he never noticed that before?

“He has grown restless. And finally realized what he can do if he has all of them.”

The ex-princess sits up straighter. She looks to the shelves of drinks to keep her mind occupied. “So they doubled the bounty so people have more incentive to bring me back.”

“You are the only one who knows where the Power Stone is and the only one besides him and very few others who can hold them without their containers.” Selene shrugs. “Plus for those who refuse to obey…”

“I know, the whole decimating thing.”

Loki watches Ashira lean forward onto her hands, covering her face entirely. Whatever the conversation is about, it doesn’t look good. Her hair falls completely to the side as she turns on her hands to look at her friend.

From his spot he can just barely make out the end of a second scar along the lower part of her right neck, the edge wrapping around where a necklace would sit. Instead of metal to present something beautiful it is simple pale scarring, jagged just like the one on her wrist.

The prince closes his eyes a second. She dug stuff out of her skin or someone cut it out for her. Either way it doesn’t look good.

“Selene.” Ashira places her hands flat on the bar and pushes herself back up. “This is a disaster. I should have ended this when I still could.”

Loki perks up at the sound of a name. Selene. Aresian… Selene… Aresian... the words seem to be tied together in a way he already knows.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We can still fix this. We’ve got this. We used to be the baddest bitches out there.”

Her lips pull into a soft and small smile. “I’m not dragging you down with me, Selene. Plus the stray I picked up is good at magic, maybe I could use him.”

“So you’ll use him and not me?”

“I can’t lose you, Selene. You are one of my only friends. Maybe even my only one left.” A low hum passes her lips. “I actually need to be going soon, promised my new friend I’d show him one of my favorite places to eat here.”

“May I join? I just want to personally assess how good he is, you know?”

Ashira shakes her head slightly. “You are ridiculous. And no, I’m sorry. I nearly got him killed like eight times already. Pretty sure he even followed me in here and used his magic to conceal himself.”

“That’s why you switched. You never cared before, I was wondering.”

“Thanks for letting me know. I’ll figure out something with the Power Stone. Stay safe and just don’t get caught.”

“You owe me like a hundred times. This place sucks.”

Selene stands reluctantly. Now Loki can actually see her in full. She’s taller than Ashira by nearly half a foot and thinner as well, wearing basically just a dark blue catsuit. Her walk is the same as Ashira’s, Loki notices: combining grace with the clunkiness of a warrior. Whatever boots she has keep her completely silent as moves about through the crowd of pestilence. But she pauses, turning on her toes and placing her right arm onto Ashira’s right shoulder. From where Loki is he cannot hear if anything is said as she leans into hug Ashira from behind.

The other woman releases her friend and finally pushes past the crowd of people. Loki watches as she leaves and notices the nearly flat tactical belt along her hip. But it is stuffed in small places. Though he cannot tell there are at least eighteen different weapons in there that are collapsed somehow.

Ashira looks to her left down the bar. She knows Loki is somewhere in this bar, his curious self already sniffing in her things and now following her around when she asks to be left alone. Her eyes catch the sight of a () who is paying attention to Selene as she walks out. Not a sip of his drink is gone and from the tiny bit of space in his sleeve gleams the corner of the translator you gave Loki.

Her hands curl around the edge of the bar. Of course.

She repeats the move of her friend and pushes back to stand up. Loki is far too distracted trying to get more information about Selene that he doesn’t notice Ashira hovering near him until her fingers are gripping the left shoulder of the guy to his right.

“Pardon me,” she interrupts, “but I need to talk to this guy beside. Do you mind moving?”

The man turns his head. Loki’s self preservation instincts told him as soon as he entered not to bother this man, beside him was the closest seat to her. Barely humanoid, bulking like a Kronan but not nearly as tall with a scowling, scared face but Ashira’s stupidity never ceases to amaze him.

Whatever creature this man is stands up, the chair toppling in the process. Loki conjures a knife within the sleeve of his right hand in the event this goes very, very wrong like it seems to be. In his hand flashes a small dagger he has seen around her ship, not one of home.

He’s too far to conjure his own things.

Kronan-man hybrid, or whatever he is that Loki can’t identify, softens immediately as soon as he sees Ashira. His fists uncurl, shoulders roll back down his back, whole body un-tenses.

“No problem,” he smiles nervously, patting her left arm, “go ahead.”

“Thanks, doll.”

Loki is amazed at how the man proceeds to walk out of the bar at your command. And that he lets you call him doll.

With her right foot Ashira tilts the chair back up right, staring directly into the face of the illusion Loki has put on. As she slides to sit, Loki shifts in his own seat. Her stare is unnerving. She does not move a muscle in her face, not blink or wince as she sits.

“Drop it,” Ashira states, “you aren’t as sneaky as you think.”

“I’m sorry but I don’t know what you're talking about, darling.”

“You haven’t touched your drink and on top of that the translator I built you is tucked under your wrist so… drop it. Also if you really were just another patron, you’d know not to talk to me like that.”

Loki glances around a moment to check the surroundings for a moment. The look of a typical Kree fades away in a roll of gold to expose the prince.

He furrows his brows and narrows his eyes. “The drink and barely the corner of the translator gave it away?”

“And I knew you followed me.” Ashira sits in the chair beside him and slides his drink to herself. “Didn’t know which one you’d be but I knew you’d be close.”

Loki laughs. “So you switched languages.”

“You made it clear you didn’t like that I put you in danger. With this… the less you know the better.”

“You mean not ratting out your friend?”

Ashira leans onto her elbows, placing her right cheek into her fists and looking at him. For the first time she looks completely normal. Her face is blessed with smile, eyes showing more brown than black for the first time since he has met her.

“I don’t want to drag her down. She… she doesn’t deserve to be caught up in all of this.”

He mocks her position, smirking instead of smiling. “But she meets you in this joke of a place?”

“It’s the only place that’s safe enough to meet.” Ashira takes a moment to look around the place. “All these people probably have at least fifty warrants and six different bounties on their head.”

“So then why don’t you just stay here?”

“You’ve seen it, right?” She leans her arms straight forward, face also looking back out to the shelves. Her chin rests heavily along the counter. “But don’t worry, there’s nicer places in the city than this seedy shit. Not much nicer, but nicer.”

“You promised me food. I intend to hold you to that promise.”

“Then let’s go, your majesty.”

—

Loki is, admittedly to himself, is more suspicious than he was before. There are connections being made in his head but he doesn’t have enough information to know if he is being paranoid or realistic.

Those damn notes. The best solution to figuring out this mess.

—

For most of the week it works similarly. Ashira wanders somewhere for a few hours and Loki follows behind, trying each time to be sneakier with it and each time she knows he is there and either switches languages or chooses to speak in a code he cannot decipher. Then they go walk around the town together.

People in the seedy parts are too scared to mess with her and when she isn’t dressed to impress she blends in surprisingly well. And though she doesn’t have any dresses as far as he can tell, she has far too many outfits for someone with that little of space.

—

It’s on their last day Loki chooses not to follow Ashira in the morning. He told her he would meet her at the fountain, sending her off before him before he shoved every piece of paper he could find with her writing into a bag. Someone in this city is bound to be table to translate.

There is less than twenty minutes until he is meant to meet you again when he is running out of stores and places that might translate, at all. Then the translator beeps. Someone is speaking in Kree nearby so it has begun translating but there is only one voice at most and it’s a whisper.

So he pulls it out of his pocket to see what it says.

‘Finally going to know what that whore wrote about me. Tells me it’s all in code… once I have proof, it’s over for her. Hey man, I told you this guy was the best. Code, language whatever. Who cares if she speaks some freaky language, she wronged you.’

He slips it back into his pocket and instead follows the sounds of the voice. This feels awfully fortuitous.

He’ll take anything at this point.

So when he reaches a door after twisting and turning down an alleyway, walking uncomfortably past the two younger men, he doesn’t even bother reading the sign, just pushes inside.

The man at the desk nearly jumps out of his skin at the suddenness of the intruder. All along the wall are various computers and rolls of paper with languages Loki has never seen before all lit by a shitty ceiling light fading yellow.

Loki returns his attention to the man inside. He’s short, maybe even as short as Ashira and appears human. His glasses are round and too large for his unusually slender face; his hands are stained with ink and calloused at their tips. Though he does more than just translate, it is his main profession. At this point he is more intrigued than anything as to why someone so dressed up would enter an exchange store.

His eyes fall immediately to the large stack of papers Loki drops in front of him.

“How much for a translation?” Loki inquires. He’s practically stoic as he speaks, eyes trained carefully on the man.

“This is Aresian, rarest language out there. Not even everyone from there speaks it.” He picks up a page and holds it up to the light. “Steal this from the royal family or something?”

“Or something. Can it be translated?”

“Of course it can. But all these documents… it’s gonna take some time even with them running through the computer. Give me six, seven hours. It ain’t gonna be cheap either.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Loki places the credit pass Ashira gave him onto the counter. The man picks it up tentatively, holding it up to the light as well. He then places it onto the reader beside his main computer and begins to type away.

“Holy shit, where’d you get this many credits? Did you steal from the royal family as well or something?”

“Or something.” The man hands Loki the pass back. “I’ll be back.”

While he admits he has dealt with very illegal things before and people who don’t sit, something really doesn’t sit right with this one.

Loki moves swiftly to the exit. He promised to meet Ashira near the fountain ten minutes ago and given her uncanny ability to always know things he needs to make his way there before she happens upon him in the store.

He exits and sees no Ashira in sight. That is, of course, until he rounds the corner and runs immediately into her.

“What’s so interesting about an exchange store?”

“Thought they may have something to remind me of home, they didn’t.”

Ashira shrugs. She knows he lying - exchange stores aren’t for mementos. People go there to get the illegal deeds done, illegal items traded and words sent out they can’t themselves.

“Well sorry about that. Come, there’s this place I think you’ll enjoy.”

—

Loki expected Ashira to keep a grip on him all day after nearly catching him trying to read through everything she owns. Instead she tells him, after taking him to a suspiciously nice restaurant, to meet back at the ship around sunset or a bit later so they can leave then.

Of course that leaves him more suspicious of what she might be hiding as well.

But if it provides him time to go get the translations without needing to sneak around too much, he doesn’t mind.

“Here you go. I don’t know who you stole those from but don’t let them know you have them. I’m wiping my computer clean after that should anything happen.”

Loki takes the documents and tucks them into his bag. He’s curious by the other man’s words. What could possibly happen? Ashira said this part of the town is never even touched.

“What do you mean?” Loki inquires as he re-buckles the bag.

“It ranges from stupid formulas for better fuel economy to shit no one should be uttering outside their guarded gates. If they catch you with these, and more importantly the translations…” the man opens his arms in defeat, “Well it was nice knowing you.”

“Execution?” A logical punishment.

The man laughs. “Boy, you’ll wish for something as sweet as execution.”

Taglist:

@tarynkauai

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40millionyears · 8 years ago

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fanfic: said i wasn’t gonna lose my head [brooklyn nine nine, jake x amy]

this fic is now basically old enough to buy its own beer but I never uploaded it here, so here it is in the interests of continuity. a dialogue-only fic where everything’s made up and the timelines don’t matter (set at some vague and frankly irrelevant point during season one) said i wasn’t gonna lose my head five scenes from a fake marriage (+ one from a real one)

i. a twist of fate makes life worthwhile "Undercover? With all due respect, Captain, this is insane. There is no way Peralta and I would make a convincing married couple." "Captain, I think what Amy's really trying to say is that she's afraid that in that scenario, she won't be able to keep her hands off me. In fact, I'd like to propose Undercover Lovers Rule Number 1: Santiago is not allowed to fall in love with me, no matter how charmingly irresistible I am as a fake husband." "Sir, I would like to counter with the proposition that when I murder Peralta, it's automatically ruled justified." "Oh, I think we both know it'd be a crime of passion. Speaking of passion—" "It's illegal to marry a twelve year old, Captain. Even one trapped in a 30-something body." "I knew you were thinking about my body." "Thinking about the best way to dispose of it." "Amy, that hurts. Lately I'm feeling like I'm just not enough for you anymore. What do you even want out of this relationship?" "Captain—!" ii. these precious moments, we have so few "I call the left side of the bed!" "In a world where the left side is the couch downstairs, you got it." "Amy, darling, we talked about this. How are we going to work through our intimacy issues if you won't let me in?" "Oh, I can give you intimacy issues." "I should let you know, the way you're saying everything through gritted teeth just makes you all the more attractive to me." "Can we just go over our cover stories again?" "Ugh, fine. I am Jason Pittman, millionaire genius playboy philanthropist. You are Alisa Serrano. You were my personal chef, until I swept you off your feet and did things to you in the kitchen that your strict adherence to the health code just could not abide. We were married in secret on my private island - our private island now, dear - after a torrid and passionate affair, because your family did not approve." "Literally none of that is what we agreed on." "And now we live in this gigantic suburban dream house, which is far too much for just the two of us even with my extravagant tastes, and that means we've gotta be doing it like rabbits to try to fill the place." "... yep. You're definitely sleeping on the couch." iii. something in the way you move "Please act normal this time, okay?" "Santiago, I don't know what you're talking about. All I did was tell them that we hooked up at a UFO convention and it's been nothing but happiness and paranormal sightings since. That's way more normal than those weirdos who met wearing Lycra. Lycra, Amy. That's just giving everything away straight up." "It was a yoga class." "I stand by my phrase." "And maybe you could stop showing everyone we meet that creepy comfit you had the sketch artist do of what our baby would look like?" "We have to be convincing. And Jason Jr is adorable, thank you very much. He inherited my best features. So, like, all of them." "Just try to be... well... not so you when you talk to the neighbours. We need them to like us." "That mangled attempt at a pot roast that you forced on the guys next door probably didn't help with that." "You know, sometimes when my mother asks me what I see in you, I just don't know what to tell her."

iv. just can't let you go "This is exhausting. How many dinner parties can one street possibly hold? Tell me there's not something suspicious about people with this much free time." "Well, one of them's a murderer, so... yes." "I'm starting to wish they'd hurry up and murder again so we'd at least have something to do besides make small talk. That's bad, right?" "At least there's food. My stakeout bag doesn't really go with this outfit and I can only fit so many peanuts in my pockets." "Please tell me you didn— you did. Jake!" "You know I get snacky!" "We're getting nowhere. Everyone's too busy criticising the cheese board behind the Gundersons' backs to do anything scandalous. Not that they're wrong. I mean, pepper jelly next to the Monforte Toscano? The Captain would be appalled. I can hear him now. "Santiago, I am appalled." " "Okay, Boyle, you stay here and keep an eye on who's leaving, and with whom. Maybe we'll catch a break and see something we're not meant to. I'm gonna make one more sweep, see if the wine has loosened any tongues." "Could you maybe sweep by those little crab puffs, if there's any left?" "If my wife requests crab puffs, then by god I will return with crab puffs." "I knew there was a reason I married you." v. i wasn't gonna fall in love again "Another successful undercover operation—" "It was our first." "— mostly thanks to me, of course." "You accidentally caught Roger Gunderson dragging the body to his car while you were trying to stuff our excess trash in his garbage bin." "Still counts." "Whatever you say, Pineapples." "Admit it. Being Mrs Pittman this week wasn't the worst." "Okay, it wasn't all bad. It was actually kinda fun." "Not all bad, actually kinda fun. Title of your— ow, don't hit me, I was going to say campaign slogan. Okay, no, I was gonna say sex tape." "So we're done with that nice moment we were just having, then." "One nice moment is all you get with me. But you never know, we were so good at this - and by we I of course mean me - we might become the go-to team for infiltrating the upper middle class. I didn't learn how to pronounce gremolada for nothing." "I guess I could have you as my fake husband again. If I had to."

+ (a little way down the road) vi. my destiny's with you "I think I actually have to credit our success at this one to both of us equally." "I'm so flattered." "Can I say, real marriage? Surprisingly much less complicated than fake marriage." "It is easier not have to elaborately lie about who we are, or our jobs, or how we met, or the fact that we weren't actually together at the time..." "And we got presents for this one, and your head didn't look so awkwardly Photoshopped-on in our wedding photos. But on the other hand... bills, and whatnot. And I have to buy vegetables now. For eating. Because health." "Yes, Peralta, despite my better instincts I'd kind of like to keep you around for a while." "You're a very intelligent woman, Mrs Peralta. Happy anniversary. " - - - - - also @ a03 if you’ve never experience the musical treat that is “pop! goes my heart”, after which this fic and its subtitles were named, you frankly haven’t lived.

#brooklyn nine nine #b99 fic #fanfic #fanfiction #jake x amy #these two idiots and their faces #AMY HE WILL BE THE GUY YOU WED ON THE ISLE OF NEW JERSEY #romantic stylez #all my tags are from season one because that was the golden year

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a-tired-bass · 8 years ago

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i had a very weird dream

it started out getting a message from someone i hadn’t talked to in years who was coming back to syndey

the premise was something something will be happy to see you something something are we still a thing? turns out that in this dream, they thought that at some point, we were dating because i sent them nice messages a bunch? except i sometimes just do that, and had no meaning behind it

i start writing a big ass response, and just before i send it to them, someone else sends me a private message. for some weird reason, when i hit send on the message i was writing it goes to the new person instead of the girl i was trying to send it to (message mostly focused on letting her down easy and it was never my intentions yada yada)

the new person, understandably, was very very confused. their response is “plz delete or something” which i can do cause suddenly im chatting on discord so i apologise profusely after removing the mesage. they aren’t overly phased and just get back about our business after i remove the message (the business being stuff for Runnerhub, cause thats the main use of discord for me) but do give me some comforting words about relationships

flash forward, and i wake up at Museum train station. I have no memory of what happened. I run into 2 other people also getting on the train at an obscene time in the morning. We get on the train and just talk about last night.

There was a short white girl in lycra with a bike - she was on the train this morning because she had been training for some kind of bike marathon?

There was a middle aged asian lady - she was on the train this early because she’d had a fight with her husband and left home to get away from it all for a while, but was heading back now

Then there was me. I couldn’t remeber why I was there. I said “I guess I’ll find out if I tap on or if I tap off when I get off the train”.

We all chat and try to work out why i was there. I wonder aloud why my phone cant just tell me where ive been, its not like it doesnt track me. So I ask my phone using Ok Google (my phone is an iphone and does not have Ok Google). It takes 3 attempts for it to work out what im actually saying, as my speech is apparently slurred though I don’t remember drinking or anything

It tells me I took my battery out around 10pm, after calling my mom. I got the impression that I had gotten absolutely smashed for some reason or other, but had literally no recollection of leaving the house, drinking, or evidence of drinking in the morning when i woke up

---

and then i woke up again, and is real life. Weird Dream

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geareachbest-blog · 6 years ago

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How To Buy a Cycling Jacket

Thanks to some of the material innovations and fashion styling of the run and hike categories, cycling jackets have became lighter and more breathable, making them more comfortable both on and off the road. Our guide on how to choose the best cycling jacket will help you find the right style for your needs.

Cutting

Also known as fit, ergonomic cuts in cycling jackets are pretty standard, with varying degrees of performance from race track to bike path. Thankfully, the days of “shrink it and pink it” are gone as women’s styles are just as prevalent as men’s. Ergonomic, form-fitting sleeves, tapered collars, and cape backs are all part of specialized cuts—the idea being that the jacket is meant to be worn while you’re bending over on the handlebars. Therefore, form-fitting cuts are more prevalent for road cycling jackets, whereas cuts on mountain biking jackets tend to be a little looser. Even more casual in fit—but in many cases equally as functional—are crossover jackets for bike commuters and urban riders.

As you begin jacket shopping, consider just how streamlined you need to be, whether you need it for your weekend group ride, racing a crit, or cruising to the coffee shop.

Pockets

Pockets on cycling jackets are one of the most important and talked about features. They range from being open with a little bit of stretch at the top, to Velcro flaps, to a zipper. Look for pockets that suit your needs—a waterproof pocket for a smartphone, integrated cord management for your tunes, a small zippered pocket for a hotel key, or three large back pockets for food, layers, and tools. Many jackets can be stuffed into their own pocket and zip up for easy carrying. In addition to storage pockets, consider front hand warmer pockets, commonly found on recreational-level and mountain biking jackets.

Materials

This is where jacket buying becomes a riddle wrapped in an enigma, like a game of Clue where everyone is trying to throw you off course. Why does it have to be so complicated? The textile world is constantly evolving and different brands have their own names for essentially the same fabrics, not to mention special-made materials that vary slightly only so they can be branded as proprietary. In the end it’s all great stuff, so don’t let material jargon overwhelm you. Most jackets are made from variations of polyester, Lycra, Nylon and other synthetics with and without treatments for wind- and water-proofing. The main consideration is to find a balance between waterproof and breathability, much like the balance between weight and price. You can’t have it both ways, not perfectly at least, so consider when and where you’ll most often be using your new jacket. While some jackets are mostly just for wind, others are strictly for rain, with no breathability whatsoever. A good all-around foul weather cycling jacket should have a balance of breathable waterproofness; and many will throw a completely waterproof “slicker” in their kit or car as well. Furthermore, a mix of materials is becoming more and more common in a design concept known as body-mapping. Look for a jacket with insulation in the chest, a nice high collar with a full zip, breathability in the back, and sleeves with high-mobility.

Windproof

Many people prefer to ride with a lightweight, packable wind jacket, especially when they are quite sure it isn’t going to rain. Most windproof jackets provide enough warmth that a little moisture won’t kill you.

Waterproof/Breathable

A number of designations as to the waterproofness versus breathability of jackets exist. Branded fabric coatings such as Gore Tex, eVent, and Polartec NeoShell permeate the market along with many proprietary waterproof-breathable innovations. Just remember, the more breathable, the less waterproof, and vice versa. Anything short of a non-breathable, plastic slicker will eventually become permeated in rain or snow and lose its warmth and breathability, so plan accordingly. Another common sense rule is that the more high-tech, breathable, stretch waterproof fabrics cost more, while lower-performing, entry level materials are less expensive. Taped or welded seams also add to the overall waterproofness of a jacket.

Weight

As with everything in cycling, weight considerations are key. Top-of-the-line race jackets are made of high-tech fabrics that are as light as they can make them. Another way to look at weight is in compress-ability. If you can scrunch the jacket down to at least pocket-sized, then you should be able to carry it without worrying about weight. Thinner jackets may weigh less and offer good wind protection, but lack in waterproof-ness, so choose the jacket that matches your riding style. When weight is of little concern, as in a commuter jacket, you’ll find warmer, longer and more waterproof offerings.

Ventilation

Being able to vent your jacket is important when dealing with less-breathable (read, less expensive) materials. Back vents covered by a flap are common. Full front zips allow for uncomplicated ventilation. And mesh pockets can also serve as vents. Some jackets do come full featured with under-arm zippered vents.

Visibility

You have to be seen when riding on the road. Reflective style hits on pockets and piping on seams are almost omnipresent in road, recreational, and commuter cycling jackets these days. There are even materials now with reflective thread sewn in, and highly reflective colors are back in style.

Waistband

Cycling jackets will always use some combination of elastic and cords to secure the waistband. Some jackets feature an extreme ergonomic cut that doesn’t require anything else mechanical to hold it to the body, but even the most streamlined jackets feature some elastic in the waist. Other looser fitting jackets will be endowed with a draw cord or an elastic drawcord, preferably with cord locks and one-hand operation.

Sleeves

Convertible jackets seem to get more common and better designed every season. Many times you just need to keep your core warm so a jacket with zip-off sleeves makes great sense. Sleeve cuffs are almost exclusively elasticized to go on quickly over gloves and prevent wind from blowing up the sleeve.

Hood

A hood can come in handy on epic all-day mountain bike rides across high mountain passes and long stretches of double track. They zip away nicely into the collar of your jacket or snap off and don’t add much weight. They will become a kite, however, on a downhill or even a flat stretch, and can be loud and blow wind down your back. For these reasons hoods are usually only found on mountain bike jackets and commuter jackets and are often detachable. It’s nice when they have a one-hand pull drawcord for when the wind and rain really pick up while riding.

Zippers

The nicer and more waterproof the zipper, the more expensive the jacket. When purchasing an entry-level jacket, be aware that the zipper quality is one place where the manufacturer can realize cost savings. Higher-end jackets will have nice, lightweight zippers that are either waterproof or will feature an internal (or external) draft flap. Look for a jacket with a snag-resistant draft flap to keep out wind and rain.

#winter jacket #windproof jacket #cycling jacket #waterproof jacket

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megaphonemonday · 8 years ago

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only operating with half my burners

@monkshoodr: Ginny moves out of the hotel and can’t get room service, so Mike volunteers to teach her to cook.

I’m not sure how we, as a fandom, decided that Ginny’s a terrible cook, but I love it.

read it on ao3

“You’re hiring caterers for your housewarming party?”

Ginny tossed him a look and shrugged, going back to emptying out another box. This was the third, as far as Mike could tell, that was full to the brim of lycra-based work out gear. Yet, Ginny’s dresser was still only half-full. He shook his head and went back to folding her fitted sheets.

When he’d agreed to help Ginny move into her brand new condo, he’d thought it would involve driving some stuff around, carrying a few boxes to spare her still-healing arm. What he hadn't expected was to give into her kicked puppy expression and actually help unpack her stuff. He knew he should’ve stayed away when he found out the computer geek had broken things off. It would have been so much easier to resist if he’d known someone would be around to help her out. With Blip and Ev out of town, that apparently fell on him, now.

Well, at least they’d already set up the living/dining room. They just had to tackle her bedroom and Mike could escape.

(All he knew at this point was that he was eternally grateful that her bed had yet to be delivered. If he was going to play house with Ginny it was only self-preservation to stay far, far away from horizontal surfaces.)

“You know it’s only going to be like twenty people, right? And none of them are expecting a four-course meal.”

He wasn’t sure how, staring at the back of her head, he knew Ginny was rolling her eyes, but she definitely was. When she finally turned away from her dresser drawers, the annoyed look on her face confirmed it.

“Well, if they want to eat anything at all, then catering is probably a good idea,” she huffed, pushing her mess of curls away from her face.

They hadn’t unpacked her kitchen yet, but Mike figured she’d already done that or they’d get around to it. But maybe there wasn’t really anything to unpack.

Following a hunch, Mike dropped the pile of linens in his arms and clattered down the stairs from Ginny’s lofted bedroom.

“Where are you going?” she called after him.

Mike didn’t answer, just headed towards the state of the art kitchen tucked into a corner of the condo. There was a toaster and a VitaMix sitting on the counter, but the burners on the stove were spotless. He tugged open drawers and found silverware and a few wooden spoons, but not much else. Cabinets yielded dishes, and one sauce pan, but no baking sheets or roasting pans or anything that even poorly stocked kitchens had.

“What are you doing?” Ginny asked, a hint of humor coloring her words.

Mike looked up at her in abject horror.

“Where’s all your kitchen stuff?”

Her brow furrowed. “Did you not hear me before? Need to replace the batteries in your hearing aids?”

Ignoring the jibe, Mike just gestured vaguely around him, encompassing the whole kitchen. “You’re seriously telling me you don’t know how to cook? At all?”

“Yes.” When Mike continued to stare, Ginny’s arms crossed defensively. “I’ve been a little busy, you know. Not all women are Julia Child reincarnated.”

It was Mike’s turn to roll his eyes. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

Still, she frowned at him. “Just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I automatically know how to cook,” Ginny repeated, chin tilted up at him in challenge.

“Not because you’re a girl, Baker, but because you’re an adult. You’ve been living on your own since you were eighteen, how do you feed yourself?”

“There’s this thing called take out,” she sassed, hopping up on the counter and swinging her legs casually, heels drumming against the mostly empty lowers. “Also, frozen food has really come a long way since your time, old man. There are whole meals in the freezer aisle and everything.”

At that, Mike whirled and flung open her refrigerator. Inside, she had a decently stocked crisper and more grape soda than God, but little else. The freezer, on the other hand, was full of sad frozen dinners.

“When was the last time you cooked something that didn’t come in a box with microwave instructions on it?”

Ginny frowned in thought. Mike thought she was just pulling his leg until she replied, “When I was twelve I made chocolate chip cookies for my teacher.”

“It’s been more than a decade?”

“Well, it went really badly!” she exclaimed, shoulders hunching defensively. “They tasted horrible! Will still thinks I just mixed up the sugar and the salt, but it seemed better for everyone if I avoided the kitchen. Less chance for food poisoning.”

Mike just shook his head. “So, you’re just gonna let this beautiful kitchen go to waste? Never let it make all the home-cooked meals it was destined to?”

Ginny rolled her eyes. “If I want home-cooked food, that’s what Evelyn’s for. Evelyn, who actually likes cooking and feeding people. Who likes it so much she was willing to take on my brother as a business partner to open a restaurant.”

She said it lightly, but Mike knew the sting of her brother’s departure and dishonesty was still fresh.

So, because he couldn’t have his rookie feeling sorry for herself and he needed a project for the off-season since things hadn’t worked out with Rachel—and, okay, maybe a little bit because he hated seeing Ginny sad—Mike said, “Well, that’s just sad, Baker. Even I have figured out how to feed myself.”

“Your housekeeper leaves you food and you know it,” she accused, a teasing smile lighting up her face. She even leaned forward, far enough that Mike tensed, ready to catch her if she lost her balance.

“Yeah,” he conceded, “but I still know how to feed myself, and I’m gonna teach you.”

That had Ginny rocking back, eyebrows creeping up her forehead. “Are you, now?”

Mike shrugged, aiming for casual, not that he was all that good at casual where Ginny was concerned.

“You are my rookie. At least ‘til spring training. Gotta make sure you don’t starve before next season.”

Her head tilted as she considered his offer. Mike told himself not to fidget even as the silence spun itself out around them. Finally, though, a full, dimpled smile began to spread across her face.

“All right, old man. Let’s see what you’ve got.”

Honestly, Mike never thought he’d regret spending more time with Ginny. Curse himself for walking into a situation where he constantly had to remember that they’re teammates and friends and nothing else, sure, but not regret.

And then he started giving Ginny cooking lessons.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise that Ginny, who could barely manage to sit still in the dugouts between innings, would be even worse in the kitchen, but Mike certainly hadn’t expected her to be this bad.

She wanted to run before she could walk, making substitutions when she didn’t have the correct ingredient and ignoring recipes in favor of doing what seemed right in the moment. Considering the fact that Ginny had no knowledge of what was right—aside from what food looked like before it disappeared into her black hole of a stomach—this led to some interesting results.

By interesting, Mike of course meant completely inedible.

It didn’t matter what they were making, anything Ginny touched managed to turn into some horrifying mishmash of conflicting flavors and char. Which was why Mike had practically become her personal chef. Which wasn't even what he regretted. What he regretted was not worrying about how she'd managed to survive before this. Far better to keep her fed than worry about whether she was really paying attention to the lessons.

What? She had to eat to keep up with all her PT.

“My arm hurts,” she whined, trying to get him to take the potato masher.

Mike just snorted and kept carving. “I’m gonna remember that next time you beg me to long toss with you—against the advice of your doctors.”

Diligently, Ginny went back to mashing. Mike shook his head, but he could feel an affectionate smile tugging at his mouth. God, she made it hard to keep his distance.

As long as she continued to be a disaster in the kitchen, Mike wouldn’t have to.

Although, he’d seemed to have found one thing that Ginny couldn’t mess up. Setting her to mashing potatoes as he took care of roasting the chicken and asparagus had been a stroke of genius if he did say so himself. It let her take out some of her frustrations with the slow progress of her physical therapy and even build up some strength in her arm again. It also kept Ginny from getting her fingers in everything and ruining what was shaping up to be a delicious dinner.

For which Mike was thankful when they finally sat down at the cluttered dining room table to eat. He could only take so many poorly seasoned, burnt dinners.

Even if the company was excellent.

So excellent, in fact, that dinner passed in a haze of laughter and a warm, contented feeling. Not that it really worried Mike. That was just par for the course for evenings with Ginny.

As he helped her clean up, though, things took a turn.

“Do you want to bring some home?” Ginny asked, drying off her hands and pushing herself up to sit on the counter.

“Nah,” he replied, stacking tupperware in her fridge. There was still too much grape soda in it, but at least she had real food, too. “You keep it. Who knows the next time you’ll manage to make something even close to edible.”

Ginny rolled her eyes, but her jaw still worked side to side. It was a tell. For when she was trying to decide how to say something. Mike waited her out.

“Won’t Rachel want some?”

Mike frowned and turned to give her his full attention. Her legs swung restlessly and her fingers tapped silently next to her thighs. Maybe it was just more of her boundless energy escaping, but something made Mike think otherwise. The way she wouldn’t quite look him in the eye and she chewed on her lip, maybe.

“No,” he replied slowly. “I assume she made dinner for herself.”

Ginny threw him a confused look. “You didn’t check with her?”

“No,” he repeated. “Why would I?”

“She’s your wife, Mike,” she huffed and Mike started to feel like they were having two separate conversations.

How did she not know that things hadn’t worked out with Rachel? He’d told Blip, which meant that Evelyn knew, which meant that everyone probably knew.

But not Ginny, apparently.

“Ex-wife.” When Ginny flapped her hand impatiently, Mike continued, “We finalized last month.”

Ginny’s eyes went wide and her legs stilled. She stared at him for a long moment before saying, “Oh,” in a small voice. “I wondered why she didn’t mind you being over here so often.”

“Oh, she minded,” he replied, finally garnering a small grin from Ginny.

“Did she have a reason to mind?” she asked, looking up at him shyly.

Mike sighed, but closed the distance between the refrigerator and where Ginny sat. He stepped close to her, her knees nearly brushing up against his hips. He itched to touch her, but knew that if he did, there’d be no turning back. While he’d tried to respect her decision, be there for her as a captain and a friend, Mike couldn’t deny that he wanted more with her. And the minute he got to touch her, gentle and deliberate, he wouldn’t be able to pretend he didn’t.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about this, Ginny,” he breathed.

He had just enough height on her like this that she had to tilt her head back slightly to look him in the eye. She licked her lips, dragging in a ragged breath when Mike’s gaze flew to follow the movement.

“I didn’t,” she replied hoarsely, “but I think I changed my mind.”

She tilted her chin and their mouths came even closer. Close enough that her warm breath gusted against his lips and through the beard surrounding it. Mike’s hands came down on the counter, just next to where hers curled over the edge. He could feel her heat bleeding into him, but they still didn’t touch.

“You think, or you know?” He had to know. “Because, Ginny, if you’re not sure—”

“I know.”

Her slender pinkies stretched out just as she interrupted him, curling over his fingers and twining them together. The breath Mike hadn’t realized he’d been holding gusted out of him and he gave in to Ginny’s gravity.

When his lips finally connected with hers, she was smiling, wide and bright. Not that Mike minded. Not when he was finally kissing Ginny Baker. His hands came up to cup her face. Hers tangled in his belt loops, dragging him closer.

He pulled away and Ginny was still smiling, so he couldn’t resist dropping one more kiss to her lips. His thumbs stroked over her cheeks gently before dropping to rest more comfortably at her waist.

“You’re really sure?” he asked, still reeling a little.

Ginny’s head tilted in amused exasperation. When it became clear Mike actually needed an answer, her fingers untwined from his belt loops to wind into his beard. Patting at his cheek fondly, she nodded. “I’m sure.”

Because he couldn’t help himself, Mike turned and pressed a kiss to her palm.

“So, was it my excellent cooking skills that made you change your mind?” he joked. Couldn’t let Ginny think that he’d completely give up being an asshole. “You realized that there was no other way you’d keep yourself fed and had to lock me down?”

Ginny rolled her eyes again, but a flash of something—guilt?—passed over her face and she looked away. Mike rocked back, not far enough to stop touching her, but at least he could duck and look in her face.

“Ginny?”

She peeked up at him, a flush riding high on her cheek bones. She chewed on her lip guiltily before straightening.

Still avoiding his gaze, she quietly admitted, “I maybe over-exaggerated how much help I need in the kitchen.”

“What.”

“Like.” Ginny ruffled her hair and Mike had to actively try to pay attention to the matter at hand and not the way her curls bounced against her slender neck. “I didn’t actually need you to show me how to make spaghetti three separate times.”

“Seriously?”

“I’m an adult, Lawson. I know that ketchup isn’t an acceptable substitute for marinara sauce.”

In retrospect, he probably should have been suspicious, but it wasn’t as if Mike was really going to examine the reason he got to spend so much time with Ginny.

He started laughing in disbelief, Ginny joining in after a moment.

As he caught his breath, his hands slid down to curl around her hips. “You couldn’t have just told me you wanted me around?” he smiled.

“I thought you and Rachel were still working it out!” she defended, though her arms twining around his neck undermined the peevishness in her voice. Ginny smirked, sly and sexy as hell. “I knew you wouldn’t risk me poisoning myself, though.”

“You’ve got me there,” he conceded, giving in and kissing her again.

“Hope I’ve got you more places, too,” she murmured cheekily against his lips.

Mike didn��t answer, not out loud, anyway. He was too busy learning her every breath and sigh as his tongue tangled against hers. Too busy reveling in the way her blunt nails scraped lightly on the back of his neck and her thighs tightened around his hips.

Inside though, he responded, Anywhere and everywhere you want me.

#bawson #bawson fic #Pitch #Pitch fic #pitchfam #i wrote something #I'm gonna need approximately #three more hours of footage #of ginny baker eating #i need more evidence that the girl #is a human garbage disposal #much as i love and respect fanon #imma need canon to step in #C'MON FOX #please bring her back to me #!!!!!

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