#also using ff dot net has reminded me of something

[twobruhsinahottub]

Oh god i gotta learn how to work ff.net now- theres two good fics i wanna read but how on earth does this site work 😭

[fromtheplanethexagon]

the robot problem: a critical look at tobecky, 5 years late

hello wordgirl fandom i am back :) and i have a lot of thoughts that i never got around to expressing before i moved on from the show. so be aware that everything i'm saying is based on my experiences during the 2012-2016 era of the fandom & state of tumblr in general, and i am not familiar with more recent fan content.

it's been over five years since the show ended, and @ifbrd​ reminded me (along with some great analysis) that while tobecky was super popular since before the show technically started (thanks to the play date shorts), it's pretty unhealthy in a lot of ways that tend to be excused or flat out ignored in fanworks. i'd like to reflect on that a bit (a lot); specifically, how both the show and the fandom approached this enemies-to-lovers ship, and how easily this ship can slip into uncomfortable territory if we're careless about how we interpret the ship and create fan content of it.

i will admit, i'm mostly writing this as a response to past me and my old creations - though i moved on from the show as a whole years ago, i do like taking the time to reflect on old interests once in a while, and reevaluating my thoughts on them. and this ship is probably the biggest one that still lurks in the corners of my mind once in a while, so let's go.

cherish is the word: a short positive note before a much longer negative one

i wanted to start this essay off with some positivity, because i am going to be very negative after this. tobecky was, in some ways, cute. it's obvious from the very beginning that these two characters are on pretty equal ground, even if one of them isn't aware of it. and that's part of the fun - the irony of how unaware tobey is that his nemesis/crush/person that pretty much always wins against him is someone that he completely dismisses as incompetent. i want to point this out because honestly, in general i don't like enemies-to-lovers because a lot of them use a power imbalance within the dynamic, and i hate power imbalances, especially when it comes to actual life-or-death scenarios (at least, as much as cartoons can do that). in most episodes, becky is never actually forced to go along with his wishes. she's not held in a 'date' against her will, nor is she ever really outwitted by him. i bring this up because there is one huge, uncomfortable exception, which i will get to later.

another big plus to the ship is the fact that they just... get along? even when fighting? of course we get brief moments where they just hang out and talk about paintings or whatever, but i'm talking about how much they get each other, even if they don't realize it. like the word banter, for example. been there since day one. becky loves words, and while most other people in her life don't really care (ranging from 'eh, that's cool i guess' to her brother calling it annoying), tobey gives her a chance to show off and thus treats her as a worthy adversary as herself, not because of her more generic superpowers - something that we've seen in canon that she feels self-conscious about (see: her motivation in patch game). one of the less noticed examples, to me, is "it's your party and i'll cry if I want to", because it's just - okay. they both are excluded from a social event, and while it's obvious that tobey deals with it by destroying the city, it's also pretty obvious that becky also deals with her frustration by fighting in that battle. like, yes, realistically it's just objectively bad that he's destroying buildings. but they're also providing each other with a way to work through their frustrations, first by fighting and then by talking things out, and finally by hanging out together instead of dwelling on being excluded from the party.

so it makes a lot of sense to me that many tobecky fans gravitated towards writing far-in-the-future fic, usually by implying that some growth had taken place before starting to write the ship. (there are, as far as i'm aware, 2... maybe 3 exceptions, that take the time to attempt a real redemption for him, at least when i left the fandom.) because if you take away his worst moments, either by reasoning out that he was 10 years old and a mess, or that he was a cartoon character in a cartoon world where everyone's actions are over-the-top, or by just flat-out pretending that certain episodes never happened, there's some pretty solid ground to start a ship on.

go gadget go: we all do not see it, we simply close our eyes (review of canon)

when the show began, i was the same age as the characters. a lot of other people were, too - at least in my cohort of the fandom. i think it's pretty safe to say that many of us have fond memories of the show's earlier seasons, and held on to that interest as we got older, for whatever reasons. so like, not to be all 'as an OG fan...', but i remember seeing the shorts air for the first time in 2006. i have a diary entry in july of 2009 about how i, a 12yo with no concept of the idea of 'shipping', was disappointed in the new tobey episode because i wanted more tobecky interactions. (that was robo-camping, btw, lol.) and so i remember how exciting their rivalry felt, watching them as someone literally their exact same age, and then watching that again as a nostalgic 17yo, and then uh... growing up, to put it frankly, and realizing just how unhealthy most of their interactions were.

okay what i meant to say was, this section is an overview of the relationship's canon portrayal throughout the years.

first, we have early tobecky: this includes the shorts and the first few seasons. this is their classic relationship: he likes her and takes robots on rampages to get her attention, she majorly disapproves and has fun taking him down. we've all seen the show, you know what i'm talking about. his backhanded ways of trying to find out her identity often feature prominently in the episodes, which - sigh, i've mentioned this whole issue before, but it's kind of a grey area in the whole uncomfortable-factor thing, because while trying to find out her identity is VERY invasive, it's something that like... everyone in the show tries to do, even her canon crush (scoops). on the one hand, it's really not a great look, but on the other hand, this is a cartoon meant to parody a genre in which this trope is extremely common. so i just wanna say that i have Issues and Thoughts on this aspect of their relationship, but there are other things i find more important to discuss here.

second, we have late tobecky: this is seasons 7-8. this is... a very strange and huge shift from the previous dynamic, though it's not necessarily obvious. what i mean by that is that for some reason, the show writers made it so that half of tobey’s rampages have nothing to do with his crush on wordgirl, even though that used to be the sole reason for his villainy. seriously. we have the birthday episode, where he's upset because he feels left out; wg vs tobey vs the dentist, where he's mad that he has a cavity; and trustworthy tobey, where his robot goes on a rampage... after becky accidentally makes it malfunction. the two outliers are ‘guess who’s coming to thanksgiving dinner’ and ‘patch game’, but they still differ from previous seasons because 1) his destruction is isolated to a forest far away from the city, and 2) his motive is still to impress wordgirl, but his methods are relatively tame. also he completely gives up on the secret identity thing??? i may have missed some things but i think he straight up tells her 'yeah there's no way you're wordgirl, lol' and the subject is just dropped for the rest of the show.

i also want to include 'the robot problem' here, because it's one of two season 6 tobey episodes, and follows the 'doesn't destroy buildings to get her attention' pattern: in fact, he teams up with her to try and stop someone else from going on a rampage (even if his reasons are selfish, lol).

and finally. the other season 6 episode. we have go gadget go, the bane of my time spent in the fandom. because GGG is the single episode where tobey truly manages to take away her autonomy, and proceeds to abuse that power for an extended period of time, for his own amusement. it's bad. it's Very Bad. put in the context that it's a white boy doing this to an (ambiguously) brown girl, it's REALLY REALLY BAD. and the more i look back on it, tbh, the more weirded out i am that the show not only made it seem like she wasn't affected at all within the episode, it just... forgot about it (which is not unusual for shows and especially children’s shows, but WG does make some efforts to either retain continuity or create canon reasons for why things are forgotten about). it's the kind of thing that you can't excuse and honestly you can't redeem (like at this point, you gotta ask yourself why you're spending so much effort trying to redeem this guy when becky has several other possible ships that are nowhere near this unhealthy - violet, scoops, honestly even victoria if you want another hero/villain ship, my absolute fave rarepair rose, etc).

so if you want to still ship it you have to just pretend that it never happened. (i remember trying for weeks to write something exploring the aftermath of this episode, to try and make myself feel better about it, but the more i wrote the more i realized just how traumatic this event should've been, so i eventually just dropped it.) and i brought up my own timeline of experiences earlier to point out that this episode aired eight whole years after the show started. which means that when i saw it, even though i was a huge stickler for canon at the time, i'd built up my own idea of the show and characters strongly enough to go 'yeah, no, this episode sucks and i am going to pretend that it doesn't exist'. and i think a lot of other people did too, because i really saw like... no one mention it, ever, except for some rogue fanfics over on ff dot net that already liked dynamics like that.

because here's the thing, and i don't know if people nowadays are aware of it? but i'm 80% sure (cannot find a source, so the other 20% is that it was just a rumor) that the show was originally supposed to end after season 6. and even if it's a rumor, it makes a ton of sense, because we get 1) an 'ending' to tobecky, which is a bad one, 2) a permanent wordgirl identity reveal that significantly changes one of the major dynamics in the show, 3) an episode where TJ gets to work with wordgirl and get a nice potential ending for their sibling dynamic, 4) an episode where we see Two-Brains explore life without his henchmen... the list goes on, and idk how many of these are just major stretches. but the point is. if the show had ended there, that would've been a pretty solid ending for many things, including their relationship: aka, it would prove that it was only ever heading somewhere bad, and when tobey finally has his moment of triumph, he is truly evil about it. and this provides us fans who HATE go gadget go with an easy reason to dismiss it - we can say that it was an attempt to conclude things in a way that wouldn't have happened if the writers had known they'd get more time. but despite that... it is still a canon episode.

it is odd to me how dramatically the dynamic shifts after that, though, because we seriously go from 'worst case ever, tobecky is toxic, your ship is dead' to 'no actually they get along and hang out and get ice cream together and tobey isn't even pressuring her into it, she's happy to go along with it :)' like, immediately. i never knew much about the show writers, so i don't know if the writers changed in between these seasons, but i would absolutely not be surprised if they did.

the earlier episodes are definitely problematic as well (though they pale in comparison to GGG) but i think everyone who ships it is aware considering that tobey is, yknow, a villain. from memory, he destroys buildings to get her attention, lies to her about the level of danger that people are in to trick her into spending more time with him, blackmails her into reading his poetry, and he creates a robot based on her that’s supposed to be devoted to him (but of course, all of these things backfire). not great stuff of course, but like... he’s a villain, that’s the point of his character. and considering that he’s a child these are things that can be redeemed, if done thoughtfully.

anyway, to sum up this section, the show starts off with a pretty standard 'enemies with an unrequited crush' setup, takes a really dark turn for a single episode, and then for the rest of the show takes their dynamic in a direction that makes it much, much easier to ship. as long as you ignore a lot of previous content.

wordbot: where's becky's autonomy in all of this? (misogyny)

we've finally gotten to the fandom. i recognize that a lot of this is going to come across as hypocritical considering how active i used to be re: this ship, but like... i'm a very different person now. anyway. disclaimer i guess - i don't write this to accuse all tobecky shippers of being like this - i know a lot of us aren't/weren't! but boy do i have things to point out, so without further ado:

it is very hard to ship this without allowing some bit of misogyny to slip into it. very, very hard. the entire premise of the ship involves a girl falling in love with a boy that repeatedly pressures her to date him via threats to the safety of herself and people she cares about, which... it's 2020, i shouldn't have to explain why that's terrible & a terrible example to set for children (which is why i am glad they never made it canon, tbh). best-case fan content has tobey stop pressuring her and start working to redeem himself out of an actual change of heart, which leads to becky seeing him in a new light. worst-case fan content treats his incessant pressuring and sometimes outright threats as something romantic - and even worse, romantic to the point where he deserves her attention and love as a reward for not giving up or whatever. i did see this pretty frequently for a while, especially in the earlier 2010s (didn't read much, Not My Thing At All), but i don't feel like going into detail here because of how obviously problematic it is. one medium (but still bad) case is where the fan content makes him start his redemption, but treats her liking him back as a reward for not knocking buildings over anymore. another not great case is where she tries to fix him with her love, which is a very common and very dangerous romantic trope. both are just... so incredibly unfair to her.

in content where she tries to 'fix him'... yeah i feel like it's really obvious how misogynistic that is. girls and women should not feel responsible for the evil actions of men, plain and simple. idk what else to say here i just really hate that trope and hated it back then and it just sucks! so can we not do that anymore, thanks.

in content that treats her like a reward for good behavior, there really isn't much of an explanation for what she sees in him. if she just goes 'oh wow, you're good now, i am going to fall in love with you for it' the whole thing falls flat because it makes NO sense whatsoever. we get to hear so much about tobey and his feelings and why he likes her and how he feels about it, but where is that energy for becky? why does she choose to trust him, to spend time around him, what does she enjoy about his presence? where is her getting over scoops in the process of falling for tobey? where is her telling her friends about this, confiding in them, asking them for advice? where is her choice in the matter?

win a day with wordgirl: do you guys even like becky or do you just like the idea of her (misogyny... 2!)

it was pretty standard for all fandoms the early-mid 2010s, but that's still not a good excuse for why so many tobecky fanfictions centered specifically around tobey's feelings while refusing to give becky the same level of empathy and nuance. it is true that to ship them comfortably you have to redeem him to some degree, which means spending time figuring him out and trying to find ways to pull him to the light without feeling super OOC. but ships take two people??? and there was so much potential for fanfics to explore becky's complex feelings on the matter - because she is! complex! she's heroic and kind but she's petty and has a competitive streak, she easily befriends villains but also doesn't trust them and doesn't believe they can ever really change, she's the savior of an entire planet but has feelings of inadequacy as her civilian identity and struggles with feeling like she can be successful without superpowers, she's great at the straightforward meanings and uses of words and loves reading but struggles to write passages that aren't dry as hell, it can be easily headcannoned that she's neurodivergent (special interests, issues with fitting in with her peers, taking things very literally, etc)... seriously there is SO MUCH to explore about her character, and a lot of it comes into play when you add tobey into the mix (literally ALL of the things i mentioned are explored at some point using tobey as a parallel or foil), but i rarely saw fanfiction that explored her thoughts on things further than 'he's evil but... maybe good?' or 'he's evil but... i kind of like him anyway?'.

if you want her to fall for him while being a villain, explore it!! why does she go against her morals? does she lie to herself about it to feel better? does she feel like she has to 'fix him' as part of her superhero duties to the city, and if so, how does that affect her as she tries and fails to help him? does she fall for him when she believes that he's turning good, only to feel betrayed when he starts acting worse because he feels like he can get away with it? it's such a shame that fanworks spend so little time even considering these questions, and it is absolutely a product of how deeply misogyny is/was baked into how we approach media (especially back then).

tobey goes good: but wait, i thought this show was progressive (a conclusion, i guess)

ifbrd wrote a great meta recently about how the show is a bit misogynist, despite being progressive in several ways. honestly i don't have much to add, but i'd really recommend reading through this; it makes a lot of great observations about the ways that male and female characters are presented differently through the show

i have little to add, so i'd just like to conclude with a reflection on the ship from my current viewpoint. i do think part of the reason so many of us latched onto the ship, despite how obviously problematic it was, is that the show treats a lot of things that would be serious in real life as normal or even comedic - which is fine lol, i'm not going to pretend that it's not a show for little kids, so they have to keep the tone light.

but if we, as teens/adults, decide to engage with this content in a more realistic manner, we have to be prepared to confront how messed up so many of the things going on really are. and if you still want to ship it, there's nothing inherently wrong with that! there's a lot of interesting things to explore in this ship, no matter what stage of enemies-to-friends-to-lovers you write them at, and it can be really helpful to have a space where you can explore a dynamic such as this in fiction. (speaking from experience here tbh, writing some fic for them helped me deal with complicated feelings about some ex-longtime friends.)

so to write this ship at all means that there are canon issues that you need to deal with if you want to have them end up in a healthy relationship in any manner that makes sense (unless you create an AU where none of that is applicable, which, power to you then). and i’m not saying ‘write them with a healthy endgame or you’re Bad’, not at all lol. but at least please, please take a step back once in a while to examine the dynamic that you’re writing, and please be careful about whether you mean to be romanticizing whatever behaviors you end up portraying as good.

[lifesizehysteria]

Journey to You - Chapter 15 | An AdamsFoster Fic

A/N: I haven’t been adding the links to this story on other sites since I started updating again because of that change tumblr made where external links keep posts from showing up in the tags. But I thought it would probably be good to link back to the original chapter in case anyone wants to start at the beginning who may not have read the whole fic already. Check that out here. That post also has a link to the whole story on ff.net so follow that link to read the story as a whole. I’m also going to update all of the tumblr posts so all of them have a single tag that doesn’t have all the other posts about the story that aren’t actual updates.

If you’re looking for somewhere else to read it where it’s a little easier than tumblr, it’s available on AO3 and ff dot net under the same username. I won’t link to those for the same reason as above. Sorry - you can thank tumblr for that.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” Mike asked as he and Stef walked out of the school.

“I’m fine, Mike.”

“Really? Because you seem off.”

“I’m just a little emotional, alright? I just dropped my kid off for his first day of school.”

“I know. I did, too. But this seems like more than just that.”

“Yeah, well, not all of us drink until we don’t feel anything,“ Stef muttered under her breath.

“Well now I know something’s wrong. That was a low blow even for you.” There was a bite to his words and Stef immediately regretted her snide comment.

“Mike, I’m sorry. That was a shitty thing to say. I know you’re going to AA and you’re really working on it and… I’m really glad.” She sighed and rubbed her hand across the back of her neck. “I don’t know… I guess I am in kind of a weird mood.”

Mike stopped them, putting his hand on her arm. Genuine concern shone in his dark eyes.

“What’s going on, Stef?”

Stef shrugged and looked down at her shuffling feet. Guilt crept up her spine. Lately, he was so much more the man she remembered. He was so different when he was sober and she recognized this person. The one who was kind and funny. The one she had built a family and a life with, who she had tried so hard to convince herself she could love.

“I don’t– it’s… it’s nothing. Just one of those days, y'know?”

“Sure.” Mike looked at his watch. “Look, Stef, I’ve got some time before my shift starts. We could go get a cup of coffee, talk about it if you want.”

Stef licked her lips and swallowed as her guilt grew stronger. She tried to smile but it just pulled tight at the corners, uncomfortable and awkward.

“Thanks, Mike. Not today but uh, maybe a raincheck?”

“Sure, okay.” Mike nodded. He searched her face and Stef was reminded that, even with all that had gone on between them, Mike still knew her better than almost anyone. “Take care of yourself, Stef.”

A small smile tilted her mouth to the side.

“You, too, Mike.”

Mike kissed her cheek for the second time that morning and she walked to her car wondering how she could bring herself to hurt this man who, after everything, still loved her.

The hours at home alone dragged on and Stef was grateful kindergarteners only went for half days. How many times since her son was born had she wished for him to be in school so she could have some peace and quiet and some time to feel like herself? Of course, that was before the separation. She had more than enough time to herself now that Brandon was regularly at Mike’s. Now she cherished all of their time together and didn’t want to lose even a second of it. Just like when he was at Mike’s, the house was too quiet without him and all it did was give her mind time to run in endless circles.

She was wracked with guilt about Mike and the hurt she was going to cause him. And Brandon. She hated that no matter what problems she and Mike had, she was always going to be the reason her son’s family was broken up. But spending the morning together like the happy little family she wanted them to be hadn’t been enough to convince her. In fact, it had done just the opposite. Seeing Lena for just a moment had made her feel more than she had ever felt in all her years with Mike. Now that she understood why, she knew that Lena was right. She couldn’t go back. No matter the consequences, with Lena or without, forward was her only choice.

Stef left the house to pick up Brandon as early as she reasonably could and was waiting with a dozen other eager parents outside the classroom. When he walked through the door with his backpack hooked over his shoulders and a smile plastered on his face, she bent down and caught him as he flung himself into her arms. The smile on her face was as big and full of joy as his.

“Ooh, my baby!” She squeezed him until he grunted then released him only to kiss his cheek over and over. “I missed you so much!”

“I missed you, too, Mommy.”

Stef gave him one more quick hug before standing back up and offering her hand to him.

“Are you ready to go home?”

“Do I get to come back tomorrow?”

“You do!” she said with a chuckle. “In fact, you get to come back every day until Saturday!”

“Okay! I’m ready!” Brandon beamed up at her.

“Alright then. Let’s head out to the car and you can tell me all about your first day of school.” Brandon took hold of her hand and they headed down the hall.

Brandon chattered non-stop about his day all the way to the car. He was deep into a story about a boy who got hurt during recess as Stef got him buckled into his booster seat and she listened with intent. She wasn’t sure she had ever heard him talk this much for this long before. Her heart was soaring by the time she got in the car and they were on their way home.

“It sounds like you had a really great first day of school! What was your very favorite part?”

Without hesitation Brandon said, “When I saw Lena.”

Stef’s head snapped up toward the rearview mirror.

“What did you say?” Just the mention of Lena’s name had her heart beating faster.

“Sorry, I mean, um, Miss Adams?” he said, his face scrunching with confusion.

“No, baby, I didn’t mean…” Stef shook her head, impatient to get more out of her son. “You saw Lena at school today?”

“Uh huh,” Brandon confirmed, nodding his head and grinning.

“What, uh… When did you see her?”

“At recess! I asked if she was having recess, too, but she said no. She said she just came to say hi to me.”

“Oh. That was very nice of her,” Stef said, trying to keep her tone neutral despite the pounding in her chest. “Did she, um, say anything else?”

“She wanted to know if I was having fun at school. I said yes because I got to do art. She said she loves art.”

“Art certainly is a lot of fun. Anything else?” she prompted again.

“She said if I ever need help at school to tell her. Do you think she will help me write my ABCs? Mrs. Atkins had us do five letters and it was so hard!”

“I think she probably means if you get lost in the hall or something happens that upsets you,” Stef said, a hint of laughter coloring her words. “That was a very nice thing for her to offer.” She felt a twinge in her chest, grateful that Lena would look out for her son that way. “Was that it? Was that all she said?” Stef felt a little uncomfortable grilling her five-year-old for info but she was desperate to get everything about Lena she could out of him.

Brandon looked down at his lap, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

“What is it, love?”

“Um…” Brandon picked at the hem of his shorts. “She said another thing but…” he trailed off and glanced up toward the front seat.

“Brandon?”

“Well, um, she told me not to tell you… But you said if a grown up ever tells me to keep a secret that I should tell you, right?” His face was contorted with confusion and Stef felt just as conflicted. She knew just as well as Brandon’s intuition did that Lena’s secret wasn’t one he needed to tell so making him tell her felt like an invasion of privacy. But she also knew consistency was important and she would rather Brandon overshare now than under-share in different circumstances. Never mind that she was desperate to know what Lena had said.

“That’s right,” she said after a moment, ignoring the inkling of guilt already nagging at her. Brandon stayed quiet, his eyes drifting up toward the rearview mirror. Stef smiled at him. “It’s okay, love. Lena’s not gonna be mad at you for telling me. I promise.”

When Brandon spoke again, his words came slowly.

“Um… First I said, ’When are you gonna come over again?’ and she said, ‘I’m not sure.’”

“Mhmm,” Stef encouraged when he paused.

“Then I said, ‘I miss you,’ and she said, ‘I miss you, too.’” Brandon stopped and looked down again.

Stef looked back at him, confused.

“Was that… Was that it?”

Brandon shook his head.

“What, baby?”

Brandon took a deep breath, then continued. “Then I said, ‘Mommy misses you, too’ and she said, ‘I miss her, too,’ and that’s the part I wasn’t s’posed to tell you.”

“It’s okay, bud. You did the right thing, okay?” Even as she soothed her son’s worries, Stef couldn’t ignore the way her in stomach danced. Lena missed her!

“How come she said not to tell you?”

“Uh, well, sweetie, I think she just probably, y’know, didn’t want me to feel bad.”

“Are you guys in a fight?”

“Wh– uh, what? No, we’re not– Why would you ask that?”

“Because Lena doesn’t come over anymore. You and Daddy used to be in fights a lot and now Daddy doesn’t live with us anymore.”

Stef sighed to herself. How had her little boy ended up with so many grown-up worries? She wanted nothing more than to uncomplicate his life but it seemed the adults in his world, herself most of all, were making that impossible. Part of her wanted to be angry at Lena for putting Brandon in the middle. It seemed so unlike her. She had always been so good with Brandon, so conscious of what she said and how she said it. It was so unlike her to tell him something like that and expect him to keep it a secret. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more Stef started to wonder… Was it possible that Lena had wanted him to tell her? Was she banking on his honest nature to make sure Stef knew? It seemed impossible and yet… Her heart started to skip.

“No, baby, Lena and I aren’t in a fight.” She didn’t make it a habit of lying outright to her son but maybe… Maybe it didn’t have to be a lie. Not if…

“Then how come she never comes over anymore?”

“We’ve just… Well, we’ve been busy, I guess.” Stef glanced back at him in the mirror. “You miss her a lot, huh, bud?”

“Uh huh.” He nodded for emphasis.

“Me, too.” She tapped her thumb against the steering wheel, her mind racing. “How would you feel about seeing her more often?”

“That would be awesome! Lena’s the best!”

A slow grin spread across Stef’s face.

“Yes, she is,” she said quietly.

There was a voice telling her to shut up, that she shouldn’t even be entertaining any ideas right now because Lena had told her it was over. But she couldn’t hear that voice over the chorus of possibilities that were running through her mind. Now she was convinced that Lena had been watching her that morning. What if it didn’t have to be over? What if that wasn’t what Lena wanted? If Lena really wanted the clean break she said she did, why would she seek Brandon out to check on him at school, to make sure he was okay on his first day? Why would she tell him that she misses not just him but Stef, too. Obviously, she still cared about him. About them. And they both loved her.

Adrenaline surged through Stef as she pushed away any nagging doubts and grabbed back on to the last shred of hope she had thought was long gone.

“I have a couple of things I have to do first and I have to talk to Lena but… I’m going to do everything I can to make sure we get to see Lena a lot more.”

When Brandon whooped from the backseat, Stef laughed, not even trying to contain the brilliant smile spreading across her face. She was planning. There was no guarantee that it would work. Lena had already given her the opportunity, more than once, to do what she needed to do and Stef hadn’t taken it. There was a good chance she and Brandon could both still end up broken-hearted. But Stef’s heart was already broken and now… Maybe she had a shot at mending it. It was a long shot. She knew that. But she wasn’t one to back down from a challenge, even when the odds weren’t in her favor, and if better late than never was all she had, she was going to run with it.