#also we don't have a computer image. like the most basic IT shit you can think of. a company image to refresh the machine

[donedyke]

i kind of hate my job like i like helping people with their computers but sometimes i'm like can't we just shoot the computer. like with a gun

[drops-of-moonlights]

I got an ask about favorite winx transformations and if my thoughts have changed at all in the last couple years that was lost to the void when my computer crashed like 3 hours ago and while I made one post about that aeons ago I don't want to go edit it again so I'm just remaking it wholesale lol. I think at this point y'all are familiar with my TakesTM so I don't need an intro, all the shit is below the cut. also this is for. all of them. like the comic ones included. also gonna provide images for them because it is all of them and most people don't know about the 9 comic ones.

*takes a look at the amount of transformations* oh god we're at 24 of these fuckers? lord. anyways we're going worst to best and honestly most of the worst ones will be the comic ones lol. Also I'm grouping MW and Charmix as Charmix Specials-style because they are just an accessory on top and the rest is the same so they will be judged together so that brings it down to 23.

23 - Paintix

This is by far the most creatively bankrupt of the transformations. Literally the exact same ugly top skirt boots combo 8 times. I have never found scans of the issue its featured in but they could have done so much more with a transformation themed around color? like c'mon here.

22 - Greenix

This one is better than Paintix for at least giving the girls different colors for more than just one (1) part but it's still the same exact dress 6 times with only minimal variation on the vines along the top, and it's sad, because this is supposed to be THE vegetation transformation as it represents the ENTIRE POWER OF LYNPHEA at your fingertips.

21 - Trendix

[IMAGE NOT FOUND]

THIS ONE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE ACTUAL GRAPHICS BECAUSE IT'S FROM A BOOK but the idea is that it's just Fashion Cheatcode the transformation and only Bloom, Stella and Flora get it so it's low, but above Paintix and Greenix for cheating in a way I find funny.

20 - Magic of Sports

Okay this one isn't even a real transformation as they just get wings with their regular fútbol fits (it's from the 2014 world cup issue) but at least the girls are wearing different outfits and the wings are also different colors so it has that going over Paintix and Greenix.

19 - Magic Rock

this one's a crime. but a crime with more thought put into it than the rest, so it's higher than them. Props to them, they all have different silhouettes and there are forms higher than them that can't break that treshold, but that still is not enough. What are they wearing. what is that. Musa why are you a makeup brush. Also they use this form to beat ghosts and win a music contest. what.

18 - Tynix

I've never been shy about my dislike for Tynix, and I feel this shows it well enough lol. bullshit obtainment aside I just think it's ugly - the construction paper gems, the shitty undersuit, the clunky broken glass heels, the random ruffles, it's all bad. The wings and the hair are cool and. that's about it really.

17 - Enchantix

I've also never been shy about my utter hatred for Enchantix, so I won't really rethread old ground here, but basically I think it's bullshit overall and it's only above Tynix despite hating Enchantix more because I can begrudgingly agree some of them are pretty. Still hate they're all flowers tho that's just bad. if you removed or adjusted the extra pink and restored everyone's skintones so they're not whitewashed S8 Enchantix would kick the ass of OG Enchantix to the curve visually (except Flora's she took a downgrade)

16 - Mermaid form

Yeah I also hate this one. I just don't think it makes sense to have fairy mermaids when mermaids are already a species in Winx and when the show cannot make up its mind if being fairy is a CHOICE or if being fairy is a BIOLOGICAL CONDITION, we don't need this shit muddling things up further. Points for giving Tecna proper wings tho good for them.

16.5 - S8 Sirenix and Crystal Sirenix

I'm also throwing the two S8 Sirenix ones in this tier because I don't like them either lol. S8 Sirenix fairs better than Crystal but not by that much.

15 - Travelix

We start the area where I just think they look... fine. I like the idea of the visuals and this is a transformation that SHOULD'VE been in the show proper (really they would've made more dolls that way) but it's also not anything groundbreaking. For those curious this is the transformation granted by the Stone of Memories that allows someone to travel in time. hence me saying it should've been in the show proper lol.

14 and 13 - Sophix and Lovix (position changes)

Some of them are good! Some of them suck ass. And therefore they end here because they aren't more than just Believix, Summer and Winter editions.

12 - Butterflix

I love the Butterflix wings and hairstyles and I think it had a solid IDEA but they put TECNA in a tutu and some crimes cannot be forgiven. points for having Stella's bodice be sunbeams tho.

11 - Dreamix

I don't really care all that much for Dreamix, but it edges out Butterflix, and that's the reason for this placement. I still don't get what the netting is supposed to be but I do love the wings.

10 - Onyrix

Onyrix also only slightly edges out Dreamix - the colors are worse and the wings are bad but I find it more visually interesting than Dreamix and it gave us Blue Stella back, so it has rights on that alone.

9 - Harmonix

We're getting into the ones I'm more positive for! but half of Harmonix is gorgeous half of Harmonix is bad. LOVE the idea of the trails and it has THE best spells out of any transformation but I genuinely don't think it's a transformation SUPER fit for being underwater and given that's its purpose it kinda. falters lol. Also I don't get how the trails are meant to be like mermaid tails? Everyone says that and I just don't see it. I see them as waterfalls more than anything else really.

8 - Magic of Food

Yes. I'm ranking the food form this high. Why? Simple - it's actually. really well done? Flora and Bloom's hair is trash but they went for a weird concept and made a transformation that actually looks pretty appropiate all in all, and I know this is because it's a sponsored transformation but hey, that cash went to a good-ass look lol.

7 - Magic of Joy

LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT IT. ENCHANTIX WISHES IT HAD THIS EFFORTLESS ELEGANT SIMPLICITY. The wings being the same is lame but they all just look so pretty AND THEY TOOK THE TIME TO MAKE SURE TECNA HAD PANTS and I have to commend that. Bless you quokkas you funky animal you, thank you for giving this to us.

6 -Cosmix

OH COSMIX I WISH I COULD LOVE YOU MORE I genuinely find it pretty for the most part and it's the best Tecna and Musa have looked in years but I just cannot forgive Stella's vagina collar. I cannot.

5 - Charmix

What even IS there to say about the OG? the very first? It's iconic all on its own but I know my love of it is mainly guided by the happy memories of watching S1 and S2 as a child. That and some of the bags are not that great.

4 - Mythix

MYTHIX HAS RIGHTS AND I STAND BY THAT. IT'S WHAT ENCHANTIX SHOULD'VE BEEN. I am a person of simple tastes, I see magic wand I go apeshit. Also peak wings no wings rival the Mythix wings if you disagree you are wrong hate the dresses if you want but you cannot argue with me about the wings. I do agree some of the shoes are ugly tho.

3 - Sirenix

Yeah I love Sirenix. I understand the complaints about it being samey but I just love it - the ribbons, the hair streaks, the fins in the legs, the fish scale pattern leggings, I just think it slaps and it being wetsuit-based is so fitting for it. Shame about the same wings tho. Also we all know Sirenix has THE best transformation song ever made and that's a FACT.

2 - Bloomix

Bloomix is, objectively, the BEST the Winx have ever looked like. you cannot beat armor, you cannot. Stella's hair is a disgrace but it was the tradeoff for Flora being freed from her shitty hair blades for ONCE in her life and it's overall really good looking.

1 - Believix

Believix is peak and always will be. The perfect blend of fairy whimsy and modern aesthetics (for the time). The wings. the song. the transformation sequence. Really the only bad is Musa's shitty aerobics instructor pants and even then that fits her so I can't be TOO mad. Believix is love Believix is life.

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

So, I wanted to identify the car, and I was dead set on Subaru because those looked like a Subaru door handle and the Sunshine Orange Subaru painted the XV, known in the US as the XV Crosstrek because I don't write the jokes about yankees needing shit spelled out, the world writes them and I just read them aloud.

So surely this is the car in picture, one would think, especially once assured by Google Lens that that's what the picture depicts. But there's one conclusion I kept coming back to:

Yes, people. Someone out there not only cares what car we think that is but is actively working to deceive us into thinking that is the last generation of the car I keep having to remind myself is not spelled Crosstek. But I will not fall for it, and with my help neither will you!

From such a closeup, in fact, one would surely, if not notice the upper feature line being a nick further out than the upper edge of the handle hole, at least notice the presence of a lower feature line below it, or at the VERY least the doorline curve to its right being concave and not convex.

So perhaps the previous generation had the simpler lines we're looking for?

Yes, but also a handle recess that does not reach all the way to the back of the handle, so, having gotten back to square one, I resorted to a cunning strategy: waiting 'til I got home and finding the picture source on my computer.

(Which I could still do on my phone too if Google wasn't hellbent on pretending Lens could ever be a serviceable replacement for the OG reverse image search when you can't even sort matches by fucking size and its idea of exact matches is as accurate as my idea of staying on topic speaking of which what were we talking about I swear this never happens.)

And I found it's a 2009-2014 Subaru Liberty (name by which Aussies got the Legacy 'till 2020).

But, oh the irony, the orange that clued me onto the Subaru brand altogether? It never adorned this generation. And this, as you can see in this more accurate lighting, is not even that orange. Because as it turns out...

Indeed, in the ultimate act of deceit, what you were looking at wasn't yellow paint nor orange paint for, being a wrap, it wasn't paint altogether!

This explains what would otherwise be a bafflingly uninteresting picture: in any normal car, that's just a door handle. In a car basically coated with sticker, that is a flex.

And yes, fortunately, the filename can chime in in the debate.

Not saying that a color necessarily is anything someone making it is willing to say it is, but if you mean to insist that this is yellow...

...well, go tell 3M that. Or go get told that by 3M! They do offer samples.

Links in blue are posts of mine about the topic in question: if you liked this post, you might like those - or the blog’s Discord server, linked in the pinned post!

EDIT: This is, by some order of magnitude, this blog's most popular post, and I'm happy to have entertained so many. If you're one of them, like @uxbridgeenglishdictionary here...

...I have great news for you: there's now a spinoff blog called @what-is-this-car, dedicated to identifying make, model, generation and year of vehicles seen around or sent its way, and explaining what gave them away! I work on it with the very appreciated help of many talented friends, and I'd love of you to check it out. (And, well, to check this blog out too, if you have the time.) Thanks! :)

Also, @furreteatingicecream posted a render of what the picture looks like to those suffering from protanomaly (or red-weak colorblindness), courtesy of color-blindness.com's color blindness simulator.

If you think this doesn't look any different, well, we may have worked out why you don't think it's orange.

is this orange or yellow.

[genericpuff]

Wait wait when and where did RS say Hermes and Persephone used to make out behind Demeter's back??

I believe it was her Patreon specifically. She has a very bad habit of dropping "canon" information on social media/other platforms/anything that isn't the actual webcomic. It's also how she "retconned" Minthe's BPD, through a mod post on Discord; and she had first revealed Hestia and Athena as a couple through shipping art on Patreon.

Unfortunately a LOT of this kind of information has been lost because her Patreon no longer exists, and because all that information was kept behind a tier subscription (which users can no longer access) all we have left are screenshots of old Patreon drawings that got backed up and statements from people who were there to witness it themselves as Patreon backers. It's honestly pretty smart, if you're looking to cover your tracks and retcon your own canon information you gave out, but that's of course dependent on backers not saving screenshots or image files which they always do (and did because you can find lost Patreon content out there all the time). I doubt that was Rachel's intention either, to try and "cover it up" that way, it was just something that sorta worked in her favor due to the nature of Patreon. She already retcons things plenty as it is without needing to "bury" what she originally said so I doubt she would care about using Patreon in that way LMAO

That said, the fact that she dumps this information outside of the comic does mean she can easily go back on it at any time. So... that's definitely a thing that I feel like she does on purpose to some degree, even if it's just so she doesn't have to 'commit' to any one solid idea. Again, she doesn't have to be doing that intentionally, but people do end up doing these sorts of things subconsciously all the time. Considering how flip-floppy LO's decisions and plotlines are, I wouldn't be surprised if RS just had commitment issues with her own ideas. But I don't know, this is getting into more speculation that I can't back up with actual fact, just my own experiences reading her work. So take it with grains of salt.

Another fun fact from her sharing things on social media outside of the comic: that panel of Hades working tirelessly on his computer isn't his arms moving really fast, apparently he actually can grow multiple arms.

Only shown once (and it was assumed to just be comic book motion) and confirmed as canon by RS outside of the comic. It's actually insane the amount of weird or otherwise random shit RS has tried to depict in the comic without explanation or context with just the assumption that people would "get" whatever was going on in her head when she drew it. There's definitely a weird disconnect between RS' own internal ideas/how she views her writing vs. how it actually comes out on paper. Comics are both narrative and visual communication, there are loads of "rules" you can follow to help achieve that communication in the clearest and most appealing way possible - what she's basically doing is the writing equivalent of jaywalking.

[anxietywriter]

love in a way i understand

something something, that one quote that goes something like "if you loved me, then you didn't do it in a way i could understand." because yes everyone has their own love language and needs to effectively communicate so everyone you care about feels cared for. but also the angst when someone says they love you but they only love the idea of you, the you they created in their mind. when they say they love you but lie and neglect you. when they love you only out of duty. Anyway have at thee.

college student character who goes to a college far away from home. they did it to escape an abusive, toxic relationship with their family. the first day on campus and their parents call them. they say everything and nothing, all "hello, how's college?" or "we miss you" and the dreaded "i love you" and the cliche "you'll always be our baby"... where was all of this when they stayed home? did they really mean it? did they realize all of that the moment they left home? or was it perfunctory? they do it because that's what's expected of them. to keep up this image of a perfect, happy family. it's expected of them to call, to check, to talk over the phone. and maybe their parents do love them in an almost twisted way but... they hate it. they hate having to go home over the break. they hate the phone calls too. they hate it they hate it, it all feels so damn fake. so rehearsed.

a character who, for years and years was made to feel like they were not worthy because of their weight. who for so many years was told to use this product, or go on that diet. who resorted to fucking starving themselves because it wasn't enough. they were trying so hard and it wasn't enough and the fastest way was to just. not eat. and finally, when they were older and skinnier they were told, "perfect. that's perfect. not too skinny, not too fat. stay right there." and they felt empty. what was supposed to be their crowning achievement, and they felt as empty as their stomach. and that was the most genuine praise that they've ever heard but it meant the least to them. because they've done so much. top of their class, in computer science classes, volunteering on the weekends, helping clean and cook, staying up late doing homework, never going out with friends, sacrificing their health. was that all nothing? did that mean nothing? they starved themselves to get to this weight yes. but did the work, the tears, the stress, the years off their life, mean nothing in comparison? and they wanted to scream. wasted. wasted wasted wasted. how much time to gain the approval of someone they didn't even realize they didn't love anymore? that never loved them. that never appreciated them properly. how long?

characters being told over and over again, oh but we love you or they love you. You're their favorite child. Their favorite student. But that person can never recall anything about them. Not their favorite color, whether they wear glasses, their favorite food, their dislikes, just the most rudimentary basic shit. They don't even know what they studied in college or what they've been studying for the past few years. None of it. Stuff that they avidly love and talk about and that person who claims to love them has never bothered to listen. So why the hell should they listen when they're being told "I love you"?

when someone tells them "I'll love you no matter what" and their soul just... Dies... Because that's a lie. Because they know what would happen if that person found out what they're really like. And they hide all of that because they're not looking for a conflict but. That lie is the most painful thing to hear. To hear "I would love you in any possible way I can conceive you turning out, but the moment you have free will and take a path unexpected and unacceptable to me, then I would rather kill you myself." And the yelling, the accusations, the crying... It's easier to just hide.

I love you, but only because I remember the you I had known four years ago. I love you but I will not respect the boundaries that are newly placed because we're old friends and soooo close. I love you because you're still the same person I knew four years ago. I love you because you never changed... That person you speak of is long dead. So much has changed, so little I've said. Did you like me better? Back when I was so frail and young? I can tell. I can tell. You would not like me now. You talk at a table full of people to yourself, scorning people like me. We've grown differently I can see. For I've grown past needing you to feel loved.

[keichanz]

thank you all so much for your kind words and support, my dear friends. i'm doing alright. to be honest, i'm actually more irritated than upset to have lost my job, because the means in which it happened is absolute fucking bullshit.

i'll give a watered down version of what happened if anyone is curious. also if anyone is curious, i gave a bit of a life update, too.

warning: this is gonna be long lmao #sorrynotsorry

basically a few weeks ago i got sick and couldn't work, so i requested a leave of absence. it was approved for two weeks, from the dates 1/31/24 to 2/14/24. my work computer would be locked during that range, so i would be unable to sign in and work.

during that time frame, i had been receiving emails from my work that required me to complete a task confirming that i would be returning to work on the 15th. those emails were delivered to my spam folder, and i wasn't even aware i was supposed to be getting any emails, so i never even thought to check there.

on the 15th, when i went to sign into my computer, i discovered that my computer was still locked. during the last week, my supervisor had been off of work as well because he was also sick, so all of my calls and texts to him were unanswered. also wanna mention i didn't know he was off because i wasn't told. anything.

so basically, nobody told me shit, i didn't complete the required task because i didn't know i had to, my work was like "welp we didn't get this from you so we're taking it that you don't want to return to work, so you're terminated" and there you have it. i lost my job because of their fuck up and in turn they're saying it's my fault.

pretty fucked up, yeah?

but anyway. i honestly can't say that i'm terribly upset. i'd grown to hate the job. it was too overwhelming, and i've learned that i just cannot handle a call center job. i've known this for a while now so for the past few months i've been applying everywhere for a job where it'll still be an office environment because that's what i have the most experience in, but being on the phone constantly isn't a requirement. remote and onsite jobs because i can't afford to be picky.

and some good news, i have an interview friday morning :) it's actually a remote hybrid position, at least that's what the ad said, so i can definitely work with that. might be good to get out of my house every once i a while. working from home has turned me into a bit of a hermit lmao.

now on to the life update. it's been...difficult. my new year did not start off very well. literally on new years day, at about 8 am, i was woken up to the unpleasant sounds of a cat throwing up a hairball. fellow cat owners, i'm sure you all know the sound. so i got up to make sure he was okay and that he got it out of his system. instead what i found was a trail of phlegm and romeo struggling. then he darted off to another part of my house, and i followed after him, worried.

i'm gonna give a little warning just to be safe: the next part mentions blood.

i will never forget the sight that greeted me when i found him and over a month later the image still haunts me. romeo's front was covered in blood, with the stuff literally pouring from his mouth and i fucking screamed and i SPRINTED to my bedroom to get my phone to call the emergency vet. i made an appointment to bring him in, and when i went to check on romeo again, he was in the same spot, however he'd managed to pass a fucking massive hairball. he seemed to be breathing okay and didn't seem to be in any pain, so not knowing what to do, i called my mom and i was sobbing as i tried to explain what happened. she and my sister (who's now living with my parents temporarily but that's another story) ended up coming over to make sure i was okay because when i tell you i was hysterical when i called her, i mean it. i was barely coherent and crying so hard she couldn't understand me.

while i waited for them to arrive, my boyfriend (who i was in a sleep call with and i woke his ass up) kept me calm until they got here. i love that man seriously.

ashley looked romeo over since she'd worked with cats before when she worked for the ASPCA and told he's going to be okay. they managed to calm me down and convinced me not to go to the emergency vet in the city as it'd be a $200 fee. my mom called my local vet, left a message (as they were closed because of the holiday) and we waited for a call back. romeo was still doing okay and i cleaned him up the best i could. guys the amount of blood was...concerning. like seriously i was terrified to see him like that, i seriously thought something was wrong. god it was awful and i'm pretty damn sure i have some kind of PTSD from it. christ.

when the emergency vet called back, she said that romeo is going to be okay and the blood is probably just because the hairball was larger than normal and it aggravated his esophagus. said to just keep an eye on him, try to get him to eat something easily digestable, and if he's still vomiting, to call back and get him in today via emergency services.

so now, moving on. obviously afterward i made an appointment for him at my local vet, and it was discovered there that Romeo had a large matted hairball in his stomach. the vet had no idea how long it had been there, but it definitely needed to be removed, so he was scheduled for surgery. his surgery was about a month ago, and he's recovering very well. i'm beginning to wonder if that hairball had been the culprit of him constantly throwing up because now he's acting like his usual self of having the zoomies and he's throwing up less hairballs. so he's doing much better and i'm grateful, tho i'm still keeping a very close on him because fuck i NEVER want to go through that again. damn cat's gonna give me an ulcer with how much stress he put me through.

but wait, there's more lmao. not cat related, but something i've also been dealing with that i thought had been resolved last fucking YEAR. so, last year - actually around this time in february - i received a notice from the IRS that i owed over $3000 to them because my 2021 tax return did not match what is in federal data bases. and i was like uuuhh what. i had my dad look it over because im dumb when it comes to this sort of thing, and it was discovered that my social security number was used to claim unemployment benefits for the year 2021 in fucking CALIFORNIA. it's unclear if someone in the unemployment services in CA fucked up and typed in somebody's social wrong and used mine instead, or if someone in CA is deliberately using my SSN, but in either case, it's being used to claim UI. so i had to contact the unemployment services in CA which is called employment development department (i'll be calling it EDD) and guys lemme tell they are fucking IMPOSSIBLE to get a hold of. they are so understaffed that if someone is unavailable to take your call the automated system goes "sorry no one is available" and it just disconnects. so i had to call so many times to get myself into the damned queue, and even then the wait is nearly 30 minutes.

so i finally managed to get a human being, i explained everything to him, and he was able to confirm that yeah, i see the claim, you obviously don't live in california, and he told me to submit a fraud report stating that i don't live in ca, i have never lived in ca, i have no attachment to the workforce in ca, ect ect. i so submitted it, and then that was that and i thought that was the end of it and i didn't get anything else from the IRS for the rest of the year.

it was not.

the only reason i realized that this issue had NOT been resolved was because when i went to check the status of my federal tax return because GIMME MY DAMN MONEY I NEED IT, i got a message saying my refund had been "applied to overdue tax obligations" and i was like HELL NO so i called the IRS and yep they confirmed it was because of that stupid fucking unemployment bullshit and after yet again explaining everything that happened, they instructed me to call the EDD and ask for them to send me a corrected 1099 G form so i can in turn send it over to them then after that fill out an identify theft affidavit. so yet again, i called the EDD five million fucking times, managed to get in the queue, waited an ungodly amount of time to talk to a human, only to be told that lol sorry they can't prove that the claim isn't fraud just from what i told them so they can't send me a 1099 G form. im like?? BITCH I DON'T EVEN LIVE IN CALIFORNIA I NEVER HAVE YOU LITERALLY HAVE MY SSN CAN'T YOU LOOK THIS SHIT UP??? but nope they don't have proof so i was told i need to file an appeal on the "disqualification on the claim" (whatever tf that means) and submit ANOTHER fraud report.

so i did both of those things, then filled out the 14039 form (identity theft affidavit) and now i have to wait until march 4th to see if it was accepted and if i'll be getting my refund. which i desperately need because lol i haven't paid my rent this month :')) whoops.

moving on. since about last may, my kitchen has been getting renovated. so currently i do not have a kitchen. i don't have an oven, a kitchen sink, or even storage. well i kinda have storage because my cabinets were recently put up, but i can't use them all yet. i havent really been able to go grocery shopping and i've been living on microwavable meals and a LOT of takeout courtesy of doordash. it sucks because i MISS my kitchen, i wanna cook meals and actually fucking CLEAN MY HOUSE, but i can't. my dad has been amazing since he's the one doing it, and i'm forever grateful to him. my kitchen is about i'd say...maybe 80% finished. we're working on putting in the new flooring right now, so after that, i'll have my stove and sink again. it's nearly there!! i'll post pictures of the before and after is anyone is curious. so yeah i haven't had a kitchen for like almost a whole year lmao. it's been tough :'))

SO.

there you have it, folks. what i've been dealing with for the past month and a half. it has been stressful AF and please god i just need a break uuugghhh. but anyway, i applied for unemployment and waiting to see if i'll be getting anything from them as i continue my job search. hoping the interview friday goes well. i'll post an update if anyone is curious enough i suppose.

.....so i didn't mean for this to get so long lol thanks for sticking around to read the entire thing if you did. i'm glad some of my followers still care ❤️

i love you all and thanks for supporting me after all these years. grateful to have you guys and call you my friends.

anyway i'm gonna go play some DayZ and kill some zombies.

peace!

welp

lost my job lol

[artobotsrollout]

Harbingers AU Q&A 2

Awesome questions and compliments from @evening-rose-309!

Aww thank you so much for the compliments! Seriously made my day! It makes me so very happy to know that you like my AU that much!!! ❤️

Questions and answers below the cut!

1. Will they take in former vehicons?

Some will join their fold, yes. Any vehicons/eradicons that wish to defect are welcomed. There are several who are loyal to, and follow Starscream that are disillusioned with Megatron's leadership. However, many eradicons/vehicons were created and trained under the Decepticon rhetoric of might=right and then dumped on commanders as they expanded their reach and numbers dwindled.

One of Starscream's bigger narrative points in this AU is that he doesn't fit with Decepticons, largely because he is a leader that prioritizes efficiency, minimal losses, and strategy. His seekers respect that. However, a large number of vehicons/eradicons raised under Megatron's showy, physical strength based, big impact but high loss leadership see Starscream as clever but the less devastating leader between the two which... Is technically correct but Megatron's devastating comes with the price of high losses.

Long answer short, some vehicons/eradicons DO follow Starscream but not as many as one would hope right away. More will join the pirate crew over time the worse Megatron gets.

2. Who is the 'Cap' n Jack' of the crew?

I'm not 100% certain how to answer this. Wheeljack and Starscream are probably the most chaotic, oddball, loose canons of the bunch so them perhaps?

3. Which one of the trine shares embarrassing stories about Starscream at the table?

Pick one, and it's not just embarrassing ones about Starscream. TC, Starscream, and Skywarp may not technically be split-spark brothers like Dreadwing and Skyquake but they may as well be with their brother-like dynamic of bickering but fondly.

4. Do the kids have flight rights?

TC is the first one to actually give them a ride. Miko asked Skywarp who agreed but that got a firm NO from Bulkhead. No flight rights until shortly after when Raf was doing an assignment on aerodynamics that Thundercracker took him for a flight. Miko actually convinced Starscream with a reverse psychology 'Are you going to let the autobots tell you what to do?!' and 'Psh I bet you fly like an old granny' afterwards. Skywarp was eventually allowed to take the kids for flights but only after they had painstakingly taught him about human limits and flight safety. Bulkhead, Bumblebee, and Arcee absolutely mother hen the heck outta their charges the first few flights.

Eventually when the rest of the bots get flight upgrades as they move to the Harbinger indefinitely they take the kids for flights too.

5. Does Ratchet still eventually go apeshit and almost kill Megatron by driving up the side of the Nemesis, knocking out a window, and bursting through at 1 am when he's high?

ABSOLUTELY. I was originally going to leave it as it was in TfP but this image is so frigging funny that this is now what happens in the AU.

6. If Starscream is genuinely respected and a good captain, which one of the crew almost throws hands with Arcee the first time they take the Bots on board?

While the atmosphere is tense the thing about this AU is some of the beginning is changed. I will detail it more eventually but essentially, there is a longer season one where Starscream is in charge and being a competent leader, and Cliffjumper is captured by Starscream but dies by Megatron's hand as a climactic "Oh shit Megatron has joined" narrative point to really nail home Megatron's devastation.

Basically where TfP actually begins would be bumped a season. So while Arcee and Team Prime still have a beef with Starscream, because he will have a whole season of doing crimes and overall being a major pain in the ass for team Prime, it won't be as revenge heavy from Arcee as it is in actual TfP.

7. Who's the worse night owl: Starscream or Optimus?

Optimus. Starscream is close though.

8. How will Ultra Magnus ever compute? working??? with pirates!?!?

With suffering and constant internal screaming. This man was not meant to be a part of a crew with so many loose cannons. Basically becomes the ship's equivalent of the 'Don't tell mom' role. Reportedly seen nailing up a 'NO fun allowed' sign.

9. Will Starscream get his original colours back or will he still be in the grays?

He will still be in the grays but I just may make the grays a little less patchy when he gets a minor frame upgrade! While I totally understand why people like the OG colours they aren't my favourite and I also don't feel like they fit with Harbingers Scream.

10. How many pranks a day?

The real question is have we found them all yet? Skywarp is a clever and patient little shit and can setup a prank that won't have a payoff for months. Nobody truly knows how many pranks could happen in a day except Skywarp himself.

11. How much Command Trine fluff will be served? Will we have a birb pile? Do the Bots come up to the brig to find Starscream passed out over a console with Skywarp snuggled to his side and Thundercracker with one arm around them both side-eyeing the others as the come in one morning?

There will be both fluff and angst with the trine. There is some initial struggle due to the very reason that we don't see any of Starscream's seeker armada in TfP. Megatron is manipulative and good at it too. They also will call him out for shit. But there will be fluff. And though Starscream frequently over works himself there will be times when Thundercracker and/or Skywarp drag him to bed or sit with him for awhile.

[ballplayersxo]

sorry this is loooooooong BUT i was *waiting* for the rachel nichols shit to hit the fan. just ULTIMATE "pick me" energy!!!! DISCLAIMER: i JUST woke l up. i'm 3 hours behind here in LA. i heard the audio, not surprised. but have been ignoring espn in the past few months bc of ppl like her, so i don't know her full stance of chauncey/kidd. but i'll assume it's terrible bc she's rachel nichols. ok SO: she enjoys closeness to these male athletes and what they can do for her image, but says the most surface-level nonsense when it's time to do the serious part of her job. never pushes back if they do even the vile shit. she can't even do the easy part: acknowledging that there's more players in the league she besides the most famous superstars she likes being friends with. or announcing which wnba games are on that night and then complaining that no one talks about the women in basketball. ON HER HOUR-LONG BASKETBALL SHOW. she only talks about the women's league when talking about the lack of coverage, pay disparities, disrespect from media, how more exposure would lead to more money and stability for the league and it's like BITCH???? aren't you in the media?? at espn?? on an unnecessarily long professional basketball show?? i stupidly watched "the jump" all last season waiting for crumbs, and nothing. to make matters worse, the people she placed below her are malika andrews, the BEST basketball interviewer at espn. so respected by players and coaches etc bc of her investment in storytelling. monica mcnutt, who can make any topic interesting, has instant chemistry with anyone she is on screen with, and is just born to lead and host and funny as hell. chiney ogwumike, she's like a living computer and knows every play, every stat, every possible minuscule detail, and has energy for days and carries her own espn radio show. they're all small contributors at most, while KENDRICK PERKINS and matt barnes and paul pierce and richard jefferson and vince carter constantly get/got way more airtime over them. and when rachel would be out, she'd have some random white guy idek his name, fill in. when chiney was in the same city, same building, in her own off-season. and that's only *three* of the *many* black women who can do that job infinitely better! rachel is just a such a hypocrite. like.... chiney's radio co-host is another white dude but is constantly giving her her flowers and defending women who have been victims of abuse from athletes. never plays devil's advocate and instead argues that the nba and other leagues need to hold men accountable no matter who they are and that no, settling out of court does NOT equal innocence and that these people have legal teams designed to ruin lives. same radio show, mind you, that also discusses things like: "is breakfast for dinner overrated?" and "which donut chain is better?" so what is rachel's excuse???? LONG STORY SHORT: rachel nichols is a pick-me who doesn't give a shit about the people she steps on, especially victims and hyper-qualified black women, to stay above everyone. she got too comfortable and needs to be held accountable in a meaningful way. again sorry this is so long!!!! doing this 3 espressos deep is.... not it

don’t apologize cause i needed someone to read her since idk enough about her but this all makes sense! how are you a woman laughing at a man talking about being tired of the metoo movement basically? is this who we are? that’s why i’m saying white feminism is literally a disease because half the shit they preach about, they aren’t living. you seemingly pro-women but when a black women gets certain jobs over you, suddenly they aren’t qualified? it sounds like she’s essentially against affirmative action (which doesn’t even apply here but still) when i swear white women benefit the most from it. she’s just so nasty & sick. that’s how a lot of white women are. fake or hyper woke to either piss off white men, or to somehow use it as a prop to one day get the same power they do. the only thing keeping white women from being oppressors to the same extent of white men is their gender and it makes them SICK, this is why behaviour like rachel’s doesn’t shock me anymore. i really hope espn does something meaningful with this situation but i doubt it tbh

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[coldtomyflash]

Weird question, and it's perfectly okay if "I don't know" is your answer: How did you manage to do grad school AND finish writing so many good fics? I'm writing the lit review for my dissertation right now, and I want to finish several WIPs I have (if nothing else, just to prove to myself that I can), but it just feels like I can barely do either, much less both. Any advice at all?

Ah, no worries! It’s not that odd a question. Actually, someone’s asked me before ^^;  My reply to them at the time was here. No need to read it, but it’s some context? 

My reply now that my head is in a healthier place is... long and winding and not actually full of that much advice but eh, I rambled as I do. If you just want the advice, scroll all the way down and it’s there. 

For starters, I’m not a normal comparison point. This isn’t to pat myself on the back, but for a variety of reasons, writing is something that comes really naturally to me. I’ll detail those reasons, but before I get into that, the point I’m illustrating here is that... sometimes I think people compare themselves to how much I wrote and what else I accomplished in that time and think “hey cool - that is a function human! Why can’t I do that?” And the answer is short answer is that my brain is programmed for pretty much one thing, and that thing is writing writing, and holy crap I was the opposite of a functional human when writing that much and that quickly.

The long answer is - 

I’ve been making up stories literally as long as I can remember. I spent my childhood consuming stories. I taught myself to read and was during school I was consistently reading about 8 grade levels above my reading level, and loved learning about narrative structure. I annoyed the shit out of my older brother by reading the same book series as he read, but guessing plot points that were going to happen either in that book or else 2-3 books out. he didn’t get how I would just know and I’d be like “it’s obvious - that’s where the story has to go!” Because I was imagining it in my head - what i would do with it, where it would go, where it had to go. Closing the page mid0chapter and imagining the next-scene, and then picking back up to see how right or wrong I was.

And I had a best friend for most of my childhood through to early adulthood with whom I made stories. Every weekend, creating narratives together, not writing them down but basically roleplaying them by talking them out (voices and all, it was a heck of a lot of fun, as much as it made me pretty much the nerdiest teen in existence). We tried to write a novel when we were 12, got about 7 chapters in. We had a lot of starts and stops on other stories too.

Which isn’t said to stroke my own ego, it’s said to highlight that I have a metric fuckton of explicit and implicit practice at storytelling. It was and sort of is my “whole life”. I also had teachers that helped me develop storytelling skills, and was really freaking lucky to go to a school with an AP program for English that seriously stretched my ability to write fast. We had to write an essay every single class, during class, and have it finished by the end of class (or in less time if we had lecture stuff to go over too) in my last year of high school. The essays could be creative response (i.e., short stories). I wrote a short story almost every week in the space of an hour when I was 17. By the time I got to the end of year final and actually got to use a computer and type that shit instead of hand-cramping halfway through, I somehow managed to write the two-essay final in the allotted 3 hours and, i shit you not, had a wordcount of 6000 words. 

That’s still my record. It was probably a dumpster fire but I got 100% probably for sheer volume.

Anyway that was over a decade ago, but the whole reason this life story is pertinent is because - 

I have practice. The only way to improve at anything, to get faster at it, for it to ease, is to practice. Practice at storytelling, practice at having to set a scene using just words sitting in my BFF’s room and trying to describe the image I had in my head for how I wanted her to see the scene as it was playing out. Practice at writing fast and getting feedback on how to write. Practice implicitly at trying to imagine what routes stories can take. Practice taking stories apart and piecing them back together, in my head, all the time.

So that’s part of it. 

The other part, and this is what I said in my previous post, was depression. I was seriously fucking burnt out and depressed when I started writing coldflash fic, and grad school took a huge toll on my mental health. It’s easier to write when you’re doing it to procrastinate working on your dissertation, and easier to keep writing when you get positive feedback and it feeds those lovely dopamine gremlins in your brain who aren’t getting any positive validation from grad school because holy damn that shit is hard.

I had no balance in my life for a long time. It wasn’t good. I went to counselling. I got more balance. Fic slowed down. Still finished, but not 120k words in 3 months (that was the pace when I started fic writing...jfc I don’t know how I managed.) Life got harder. Fic was now harder to write. I got more counselling. Fic was easier to write. I moved around the world. Fic got harder to write. I started anti-depressants. Narratives now seem to be flowing again. 

Regardless of the state of my mental health though, I’ve never written as much as quickly as I did during the middle of grad school. And I think that’s because I was very narratively pent up when I started writing fic. I had been so busy and pushing myself so damn hard in grad school that I didn’t make almost any time for stories, for fic, for imagining my own stories. I was suppressing that side of myself in the service of Focus. So when I burnt out, my narrative side rebounded and said “fuck that noise, I still exist, and we’re making space for me”. It took over. I came literally a hair’s breadth from quitting my PhD post candidacy. Idk what type of program you’re in, but business schools in North America? It’s a 5 year PhD typically, and I was at the end of year 3 and eyeing the door.

Anyway - I say all that because - 

I am not a good example and you should not do what I did. Finishing that many long WIPs that quickly wasn’t healthy, and was only possible because I didn’t do much else at the time, and had a lifetime of practice and a narrative rebound to make it even possible. 

But - 

My actual advice?

1) Practice. Practice. Practice. 

Not all at once, but everything counts. Daydreaming counts. Watching shows and thinking of how they could be improved counts. Talking out story ideas with friends counts. Just make it fun. Practice is something we think of as arduous and annoying. Learning new words is practice. Meeting new people and considering their traits is practice. Everything can be practice for writing. All the research you do can be practice for writing. (Random note: a childhood coping mechanism for anxiety that I had was to narrate what I was doing to myself in my head in the 3rd person. Like telling a story of myself walking to gym class in my own head. That was also practice.)

2) Have fun with it! 

Don’t making writing an obligation. Then it’s another thing on the list of things you avoid. Finishing stories often feels like an obligation. I’m going through this right now with Needs Must. It can be hard to complete a WIP because you start to have internal anxieties about disappointing readers, not living up to expectations, exhaustion from that narrative, distraction / temporary loss of interest (which is normal! and not actually a bad thing!). All of that then makes you feel guilty, which makes it impossible to get into a creative space to write. You can’t work on the thing you’re avoiding.

3) It’s okay to give your WIPs breathing space. 

When you hit a wall, you may need to set it aside and read it again in a month with fresh eyes. You may need to treat your story like someone else’s story. That’s, again, literally where I’m at right now with Needs Must. I just reread a bunch of it and hadn’t really forgotten the details but once they’re on the page they’re out of my head, and so taking some time before going back to reread it made it easier for me to think of like I think of every other story: “what would I do next with this? Oh that’s a twist, that needs to come back later. There’s a theme here, we’ve seen that three times. What’s the best ending I, as a reader now, can imagine for this?”

If avoidance, guilt, and/or writer’s block aren’t your issue, and it’s literally just down to time management - 

4) Your graduate degree is more important than your WIPs. 

Your WIPs aren’t going anywhere, they don’t have a deadline, and your readers will wait for you, and new ones will find you. Time management is an essential, awful, part of being an academic. 

I get more done, both at work and creatively on fic, when I’m just a bit too busy, but that’s me. Figure out what is optimal for you, and do it. When do you get the most writing done? When you’re relieved? When you’re anxious? Late at night? First thing in the morning? When does it flow? When won’t it ruin your graduate career?

(Seriously I was writing fic at work last week and was kicking myself. I don’t have time for that shit! Set boundaries on your time!)

But full serious here, graduate school is exhausting, and almost inherently de-motivating, and even the best damn students eye the door a lot of the time, even if they do finish. It’s stressful and you feel constantly powerless. It’s a lot to need to cope with. I found writing to be a way to cope. That lit review you’re working on? Yeah, it’s zapping your time and energy. That’s normal (unfortunately). And it’s good to give yourself breaks from that to write. Don’t feel guilty for taking time here and there for yourself - to write, or to not write. To relax, unplug, unwind. To close your eyes and daydream (if you’re me) or have a bubble bath (if you’re my sister), or do whatever helps you honestly, genuinely destress. The best thing you can do for both writing and for graduate school is to take breaks and take time for yourself. There is actual science on the importance of breaks, and academics are fucking notorious for putting too much pressure on themselves to actually relax.

5) If you’re burnt out and/or depressed - seek help! 

Most universities have resources for mental health! Talk to a doctor! Don’t put too much stress and pressure on yourself! Almost half of grad students are mentally ill at some point!

6) Talk out your stories with friends! 

I know I already said this under “practice” but having a fandom friend to bounce ideas with and cheer you on is amazing and essentially. I was in constant contact with Bealeciphers when I started writing, and now I have a different friend who’s helped me the past couple years with writing and developing my stories. Mostly they cheer me on, and when I’m stuck, I tell them where the story is going and what I need help with. But honestly, writing doesn’t need to happen in a vacuum and doesn’t need to be you hunched over a laptop in the dark all alone and staring blankly at a screen (I’m definitely not projecting here, no siree). It’s amazing how motivating it is and how much it can help you stay on track to check in regularly with other writing friends!

7) Pick your battles.

You say you have a... couple(?) of WIPs? How many are you juggling? Is it too many? Do you need to set one (or two??) aside? When my steam was slowly and AATJS and Tumbling Together started to feel like a chore, I set TT aside and took a month break from AATJS then dived right back into AATJS (with the help of the friend mentioned above, cheering me on) because I knew it would be the harder one to finish, and the one that I feared I’d never finish if I put it aside too long. I tackled the biggest hurdle first. If that’s the type of thing for you, I recommend it. Pick the story that’s either the most or least likely to get finished, and focus your energy there.

Another battle-picking thing here? It’s okay to outsource. I’m terrible for not using a proofreader beta. It’s a weird control thing, despite the fact that I love people pointing out typos in my works so I can freaking fix them. The point here is: don’t be like me. If you suck at finding your own typos, use a beta or proofreader. My writer friend who helps me helps when I get stuck. I help them when they need feedback on specific scenes and tones, and I’ve recently discovered they hate editing (I love editing) so this entertains me to no end. Just - you don’t have to do it all yourself. If you feel like you do, see points 5 and 6 again.

Aaaannnddd that’s that. Whew. I just spent... wow, too long on this. I spent as much time on this as I did on my own grad student’s lit review I was providing feedback on today ^^; #whoops 

[wuggen]

I feel like you missed the part where I said I'd talked myself out of being pro-WEBP, and I think that in fact we largely agree. But before I get to that there are a few points you made that I want to argue against.

...we had a perfectly good set of image formats, and a shitload of software that worked with those image formats, and then Google decided, no, we're using a new image format and all the software in the world is obsolete now. The rest of the stuff doesn't matter, it doesn't matter that it's not that hard to work with, there's no compelling use case for webp other than "Google will break your shit if you don't update it". Who is seeing a benefit from webp?

Sure, JPEG and PNG are still perfectly fine! GIF is not, though. It was developed at a time when both network bandwidth and storage space were much harder to come by than they are now, it's full of artificial restrictions intended to respect those no-longer-relevant limitations, and it provides no means of relaxing its restrictions. Animated WEBPs are objectively superior to GIFs in terms of color range, frame rate, and available run time. Would it make more sense to develop a new animation-only format rather than trying to cram still images and animation into a single format? Yeah, probably. But I am very unconvinced by the claim that WEBP has no benefit whatsoever.

I have some legacy software that's not being updated anymore, the company that made it went out of business. It will never work with webp. If webp is a significant fraction of the world's images, this software that was working fine becomes obsolete, because Google wanted to fix something that wasn't broken.

I mean yeah, that's the nature of progress. Tools that are abandoned by their developers become obsolete as technology improves around them. New tools are developed to replace them. The fact that there exist legacy tools that are no longer maintained and which would be obsoleted by the introduction of improved standards cannot be an argument against introducing improved standards.

...you're putting the onus on all software to be constantly updated to support every wacky-crack format any asshole slaps together.

No, I'm putting the onus on actively maintained and current software to be updated to support significant formats that its users are extremely likely to encounter and want to work with. That's like one of the most basic jobs of software.

Alright, that's outta the way. The points that I think we agree on, and the reasons I talked myself out of being pro-WEBP:

It's a pretty overloaded format! As I elaborated earlier, GIF is obsolete and should be replaced with something that supports better quality animation, but that replacement doesn't need to pull double duty by also replacing PNG and JPEG. Those two are still working just fine!

More significantly, it's developed by Google! Not just any asshole developing some wacky-crack format; one of the world's largest, most significant, and most powerful assholes developing some wacky-crack format and using its immense size and strength to strong-arm it into every corner of the web! Web browsers have been pretty much forced to support WEBP, because it's all Google uses anymore. And since Google is such a dominant force on the web, browsers have to support the format in order to serve their primary purpose (browsing the web).

And as I said in the OP, I'm not comfortable with Google being able to unilaterally direct web standards like that! So, to a certain extent, I am glad that a lot of non-browser software refuses to support WEBP. Make it less relevant, set a precedent that Google cannot completely dictate the course of computing progress, I can respect that decision.

Anyway, I will in all likelihood continue to be frustrated when people think that GIMP can't open WEBP because WEBP itself, not the circumstances surrounding it, is bad.

I periodically make posts about how fucking frustrating it is that everyone hates webp, along the following lines:

File formats are inert piles of data with absolutely no functionality of their own, and it's up to software to read, interpret, and expose the intended meaning of that data.

A given file format may be annoyingly difficult for software to read and interpret as intended, but that's categorically not the case with webp, which is just a bunch of well-established image and animation encoding methods pasted together with minimal framing. There's even a whole-ass open-source software library that just handles the reading an interpreting for you.

The above two points imply that the difficulty of working with webp in most software is plainly and obviously the fault of the software, not of webp.

Anyway, last night I was gonna make another post along those lines, but then I got to thinking... webp is a Google project. The standard and the open-source library are both managed and developed by Google. They're not proprietary, but they are under Google's governance and are explicitly intended to be web standards to replace JPEG, PNG, and GIF. This particular standard is totally fine (for now), but I really don't like Google being the arbiter of web standards, just on principle.

So like... I guess I kinda talked myself out of being pro-webp. I'm still reserving the right to be frustrated at people's reasons for hating webp, though