#also: a cookie to the one who can spot a Monty Python's reference

[zaziecurie]

So a friend of a mine, @millitron, mentioned sometime ago that there's someone who wanted to mod FFXVI where Ultima wouldn't exist at all in the plot, because he's "boring" or something.

While not only is the most childish thing to propose to do (is like me changing FFII's whole game by removing the Emperor as the villain coz' *I* find him boring and consider him very easy to beat), it would also just ruin the entire canon plot.

In fact, of the many critics against FFXVI (both understandable and otherwise), one of them is that the story should have been like Final Fantasy Tactics and the Game of Thrones series and focus more on the politics and less on the supernatural. ...which is hilarious, because Final Fantasy Tactics, with its Zodiac system, magic, auricites and so on; and Game of Thrones (dragons, witchcraft, "Winter is coming") have a lot of supernatural in its story.

So.

What would happen if we removed Ultima from FFXVI?

*drumroll*

...Valisthea would be just two continents without humans, mothercrystals and magic.

Thank you for reading.

...

...

Ok, but since the modder would simply "pluck" out Ultima from the established story without adding or changing it (unless they's very good at videogame programming, animation and voice acting without cheating with AI), then we have to keep the whole existance of humans, Mothercrystals and magic.

Which, in my opinion, will open a whole can of problems and cases of ✨just because✨ or ✨it just is✨:

Since Ultima doesn’t exist, Moss the Chronicler wouldn’t be able to uncover much of Circle of Malius’ “true” origins as there wouldn’t be any. Basically, the Circle of Malius exists ✨just because✨.

Mothercrystals would still be the reason for the Blight (as well due to human influence), but it’s never explained why they siphon aether nor their actual origins. The First Wyrm myth would still exist, but who came up with it is unknown.

The real reason why some humans are able to use magic and/or become Eikons is because... ✨it just is✨

The events of the rise and fall of the Fallen as well the destruction of Dzemekys would be always shrouded by mystery of what actually happened. Basically "God did it", but there's no actual proof. Echoes would have to be seen as 100% Fallen civilization’s technology. Same would be applied to certain ruins like the Reverie.

Eikons would still be seen as blessings from the gods or abominations, but there’s no true explanation of what they’re really are, why there’s two Eikons of Fire or why Ifrit is able to consume other Eikons.

No explanation what the Arete stones and Chronoliths are or why they exist, besides training Clive to gain power. ✨Just because✨

Circle of Malius and its saviour myth would still exist, but it would not describe its god like in the canon game. Unless the modder ignores them, they would also have to remove every single four armed statue or reference present in the game.

The mysterious hooded man wouldn’t exist, therefore Ifrit’s awakening would have to be on its own as well be the cause of Clive’s headaches at the time.

Clive would have to realize the truth differently as he wouldn’t have visions from Ultima. As such, there would be no iconic “Accept the Truth” scene.

The ancient murals that show Eikons surrounding a large central winged figure and its connection to the Circle of Malius would still exist (unless the modder decides to remove this plot point all together, considering who actually is the winged figure). Said central figure, however, probably would have to be identified as an evil god-like Ifrit. Or simply have a ✨it just is✨ excuse. Also, how to explain why said figure looks like a fusion between Ifrit and Phoenix?

Good news though as Cid wouldn’t die at the Drake’s Head Mothercrystal, since Typhon isn’t a thing. In fact, none of the Mothercrystals would have “natural” guardians since they wouldn’t possess Ultima as a core to create magical defences. If there’s anyone guarding them, it’s probably human guards or monsters like one would have in any other FF standard dungeon. Unless one would keep the Thralls and Echoes because ✨magic✨.

As such, Clive wouldn’t assume the Cid the Outlaw persona and the five-year timeskip would have to be very different.

While Joshua would still stop the Undying from assassinating Clive and investigate more about the Night of Flames and the second Eikon of fire, he wouldn’t learn about a “god lost to the ages” from Moss the Chronicler (see the very first entry). He also wouldn’t sense strange disturbances around Clive as, again, Ultima is “pinning for the fjords” in this version. As consequence, Joshua has far less reasons of not reuniting with his brother earlier like in canon.

Joshua also wouldn’t have a reason to meet with Dion as there’s no mysterious reasons for the political unrest in Sanbreque. It’s all due to his mother, Anabela.

Hugo's grief over Benedikta is exploited only by Sleipnir.

The events in Drake’s Breath would be the same, but Clive and Jill wouldn’t fight Liquid Flame (in theory).

Barnabas would still be human with Odin's powers. But why does he looks in his 40's if he conquered Ash at the age 35, 30 years before the story begins? And how he'd still able to ally and control beasts like orcs and behemoths? ...✨magic✨I guess...

His tragic backstory and motives would be the same as canon but influenced only by overzealous faith and grief. His decision to attack Kanver to try break Clive's "bonds of consciousness" would have to be on his own.

Cid’s falling out with Barnabas would probably be very slightly different, by having the latter's god not actually physically existing.

Dion would still confront his father over the throne abdication for Olivier as well Anabela’s treacherousness. However, Olivier would be a normal boy only influenced by his mother, which would mean that he wouldn't antagonize Dion enough to be killed. As such, Sylvester’s and Anabela’s, as well Sanbreque itself, fates would have to be very different.

The events of “Echoes of the Fallen” and “The Rising Tide” DLCs would be still in canon, with the sole exception that Clive would only get Leviathan as a reward, and the true reason for Fallen’s ruin and where they got the idea of making artificial mothercrystals by using living beings would still be shrouded by mystery.

Obviously, Primogenesis and its consequences (purple skies, thralls, forced akashic transformations) wouldn't happen.

As consequence, the kingdom of Waloed wouldn't be overrun with Akashic turned humans and beasts. Good news for Edda, her husband and their village, at least.

Most of the events in Waloed would be the same, with the exception that Clive and Joshua only fight regular soldiers and beasts (in theory), manage to easily waltz into the Drake’s Spine Mothercrystal and destroy it.

Twinside wouldn’t be destroyed after the above events as there’s no Origin underneath it. Good news for Kihel. Also Terence, as there would have to be very big plot reasons for Dion to send him to meet Kihel there, considering the canon events of Sanbreque don't happen in this version.

And with the final Mothercrystal destroyed… The game and story stops. If it didn't break right in the first half.

From this point onward, you would have to mod completely the game to get some sort of satisfying ending and an actual final boss.

And overall, these changes would make FFXVI's story look a bit like the very early FF games, where either there's no big lore at all (FFI) or there's some of it but there's still some gaps between them (FFII & FFIII).

---

I'm not against in creating a different version of this story, including removing a character that happens to be one of my faves, or any other work. But that's what fanart and fanfics are for.

In fact, having an alternative universe where everything is the same except Ultima, magic and Eikons don't exist can be an interesting writing experiment. And most likely there's as many fanfics out there that explore that as there's Coffee Shop, School or Modern Times AUs for this videogame.

But attempt to literally change an entire story of the source material because you don't like a "small" detail?

I don't know, man...

That sounds really lame and pathetic to me...

[heirstothecarterlegacy]

In the absence of chapters, the Management would like to provide you with some notes.

Behold! A list of character quirks, trivia, and notes, mostly gained from a thorough reading of the character quotes on the wiki, but with a few of our own. If you take a look, enjoy, and look out for them in upcoming chapters. 

FOOD STUFF

Wendy hates dragonfruit, because it doesn’t look like a dragon.

Wendy likes sweets

Webber likes dinosaur nuggets and Mexican food (spicy chili and guacamole)

Webber likes eggplants braised but not raw

Wickerbottom uses candycanes as stirs for her cocoa

Wickerbottom’s favorite food is fish sticks

Wickerbottom is fond of chocolate and black licorice, and will eat raisins and “loser candy”

Wickerbottom loves coffee and sushi

Wilson likes sugar cookies and will eat waaaay too many if given half an opportunity

Winona likes fresh fruits and vegetables and honey

Maxwell also likes sweets, especially black licorice

Max gets VERY excited about ice cream

Max doesn’t like meat or vegetables (Maxwell no)

Maxwell can make pierogi and likes them a lot

Wix hates sweet potatoes

Wix likes fish-and-chips

Wix really likes coffee

Wigfrid hates mushrooms

Wigfrid hates apple cider but loves hot chocolate

Wolfgang can cook cabbage casserole

Wolfgang’s favorite vegetable is potatoes

Wolfgang also loves pierogi. Maybe he and Maxwell can make them together.

Woodie likes salmon and fish and chips, pies, anything Thanksgiving or fall-like (sweet potatoes with marshmallow, turkey), pancakes, honey nuggets, maple taffy

Woodie doesn’t like mushrooms, eggplant or many other vegetables

WINONA

Winona likes to complain about the bourgeoisie

Winona goes for purely practical clothes and hates fashion

Winona is self admitted as not being book smart (maybe self-conscious about it)

Winona refers to Wilson as “scientist” or “bucko”, Wolfgang as “big guy”, Wendy as “kiddo” or “slugger”, Webber as “kid”, Wickerbottom as “grams”, Webber as “kid” or “kiddo”, and Maxwell as “ya big walnut”

Winona loves parties

Winona calls Abigail “boo”

Winona used to be a miner and then a factory worker

Winona likes growing things

MAXWELL

Maxwell is insomniac

Maxwell teaches Webber to play chess

Maxwell leaves his chess pieces everywhere

WIX

Nonbinary Wix

Wix likes the lying robot and named it Hal

Wix really, REALLY likes the moon, and is eager for the day that humanity builds a moonbase.

Wix is adept at weaving of all things

Wix is hydrophobic

Wix uses slang with surprising frequency—“bring it”, “bro”, “chill out”

Deadpan humor—“The maid took the year off” for a burnt down house, “I, Rowboat”, “So was that part of the feast ritual?” after a Winter’s Feast tree burns down, “Make Wigfrid carry it”, “Error: Don’t want to.” “Congratulations, you did terribly”

Wix really likes bees

Wix likes the shape of pumpkins

Things Wix likes: Futurama, 2001 A Space Oddessy, Portal, Doctor Who, Star Wars, Jurassic Park, “I, Robot”

(MINE) Wix and Wickerbottom watch Dr. Who together

WEBBER

Webber named the snowbird “Francis”

Webber goes on all fours and hisses to intimidate attackers

Webber made Wendy a friendship bracelet

Webber thinks Wes’s makeup is cool

WOLFGANG

Wolfgang doesn’t want anyone to go hungry

Wolfgang names the vargling “Pupgang”—maybe we should give him a dog too?

Wolfgang does not like cats.

Wolfgang was once in a circus and before that was in the military

Wolfgang is probably Russian, and grew up on a farm.

(MINE:) Wolfgang is fluent in four languages (native language Russian, English, French, and German) and ASL.

Wolfgang can play at least some music and mostly knows folk songs

Wolfgang likes flower crowns

Wolfgang is scared of Wendy, even though he calls her a “nice little lady”

This is because Wolfgang is scared of ghosts. Wolfgang also can’t tie bows, but Abigail can. Maybe Abigail can help him at Christmas?

When Wolfgang finds things he almost always talks about who would like them.

WICKERBOTTOM

Wickerbottom gives them homework

Wickerbottom used to have a cat, should we get her a cat?

Wickerbottom used to own and operate a bookmobile

Wickerbottom made the chore chart

Wickerbottom wants to teach the children to sew

She’s A Mom (“I’ll pull you back to base by the ear if I have to”, “you need a stern talking to”, calls everyone “dear”, “if you cross your eyes they’ll get stuck like that”, “That’s enough out of you, young lady”, “what did I say about playing with axes?”, “that’s enough funny business”)

She gets colored bandages for Webber

(MINE) Watches Doctor Who with Wix

Wickerbottom likes Doctor Who, C.S. Lewis, Jurassic Park, and Dr. Seuss.

WENDY

Wendy learning to draw from Wilson (or Wes, who is an accomplished painter)

Wendy depends on Abigail to curl ribbons for presents

Wendy would like a houseful of sharkkittens

ABIGAIL

Abigail is jealous of Chester and the other pets

WILLOW

Willow was a girl scout and earned all the badges

Willow can apparently be a bit lax on bathing

(MINE) Willow is much younger than she seems and was very early getting her degree—she’s 26, and left the college after burning it down at 24

WES

Wes thinks his rosy cheeks are his best feature

Wes is an accomplished painter

WILSON

Wilson has some medical knowledge (and is unknowingly a necromancer)

Wilson likes Elvis Presley, Jaws, West Side Story, The Ink Spots, Discworld, Lord of the Flies, Cast Away, Monty Python, Isaac Asimov

CHARLIE

Charlie is afraid of the dark.

(MINE) Charlie’s full name is Charlotte Carter, nee Grue. (In retrospect, I do wish I’d named her Charlene.)

WOODIE

Woodie is Catholic

Woodie doesn’t like birds AT ALL.

Woodie has hay fever/allergies

Woodie has hobbies including playing the guitar and whittling.

Woodie is easily the most normal of the group

Woodie can sew

Woodie talks to plants and enjoys gardening

Woodie calls Wilson, Wes, and Wolfgang “buddy”, Willow “gal”, Wendy and Webber “little buddy” or “kiddo”, Wickerbottom “ma’am”, Maxwell a “hoser” or “bud”, and Wigfrid and Winona “bud”

Woodie smells like pine and woodchips

WIGFRID

Wigfrid is knowledgeable about Norse mythology

Wigfrid is pagan and prays to Norse gods (is this a consequence of stealing that soul or?)—particularly Odin and Njord

Wigfrid is familiar with Shakespeare, Poe, and Samuel Taylor Coleridge

(MINE) Wigfrid is familiar with Shakespeare because she was a stage manager and director

Wigfrid thinks the bishop is a follower of Mimir? Hm…

Wigfrid likes the No-Eyed Deer

God Stuff

Wolfgang is the “son of Magni”

Wes has the blessing of Hoenir

Wickerbottom is blessed by Odin

Wendy has the spirit of Eir

(MINE) Willow has the blessing of Loki and Freya

Woodie is tied to Yggdrasil

Maxwell also has the blessing of Loki

Webber is blessed by Sleipnir

Winona is blessed by Brokkr

Wigfrid calls Wendy and Willow “fair maidens”

Wigfrid tries to spar with a backscratcher

LUCY

Lucy was claustrophobic and it possibly tied into how she died.

Maxwell possibly knew Lucy beforehand

KNIGHT, ROOK, BISHOP, AND SKITS

There’s a fourth to the KRB group—Mr. Pawn. No one’s seen them in years.

[piratekenway]

Oooh, can I have hamdevil AU? I don't care what just anything for it. (Though I would love to see Matt and Hamilton fighting some issue out, with words)

haha OKAY. this is more “Hamilton gets rescued by Daredevil a few times and there’s ship tease” in general, whoops.

title: careful how you proceed

–

“I swear to fucking God, Mur–Daredevil,” says Alexander, “if you don’t put me down right now I am going to kick your ass all the way back to the office, just you watch me.”

Matt, underneath the mask, has the nerve to smile. Well, of course he can, it’s not like Alexander can follow up on that threat when Matt’s got him in his arms, and under normal circumstances, Alexander would be somewhat appreciative of Matt’s arms. But these aren’t normal circumstances.

“Your back might give out,” Matt says.

“Unlike you, I don’t do that parkour ninja bullshit,” says Alexander. “Also, fuck you, my back is fine.”

“I can hear it creaking, actually,” Matt mildly says.

“Your ass,” says Alexander, “the office.”

Somewhere behind them, a–well, Alexander’s not actually sure, and he peers over Matt’s shoulder to check–a guy in, hand to God, frog-themed armor is hopping after them on the ground. There are springs on his feet. His–webbed feet.

Sometimes Alexander loves the 21st century, and all the advances made since 1804 that have enabled more freedom than Alexander could’ve ever dreamed of.

Then sometimes it pulls shit like this.

“Why the hell do you get the lamest supervillains?” he asks.

“You should ask Parker about the White Rabbit sometime,” says Matt, casually, as he runs over a very thin catwalk and oh god Alexander’s just not going to look down. If he looks down, he’s pretty sure he’s going to have a heart attack and die again on the spot, and he’d much rather go out in either a blaze of glory or in bed.

The blaze of glory’s preferred.

“The what now?” he asks, keeping his eyes on Matt’s face.

“She threw rabid bunnies at him once,” says Matt.

Alexander gapes at him. Then: “So she saw too much Monty Python?”

“I knew letting Foggy show you Monty Python and the Holy Grail was a terrible idea,” Matt gripes.

–

A. Hamilton @adothamit’s official, this election is wilder than the 1800 elections #thatssayingsomething http://wapo.st/1QtUQmM

A. Hamilton @adotham@foreversherlocked SINCE YOU ASKED FOR EXAMPLES: TJeffs did not discuss dick size in a presscon (1/?)

A. Hamilton @adothamthe GOP’s newest embarrassment can’t even #talkless #burrisrollinginhisgrave (2/?)

–

A. Hamilton @adothamand half my feed and two of my coworkers have started referring to @tedcruz as a serial killer #explain (21/?)

–

A. Hamilton @adothamso IN CONCLUSION the monkeys have taken over the zoo aka the GOP, best election ever (48/48)

Casey W @foreversherlockedis it just me or is @adotham the guy who’s been writing to the Post under a Latin pen name #theanswerisyes

–

MATT:that explains the increase in rocks through your windowplease find better aliases alex

A. HAM:whats wrong with favonius

MATT:it sounds latindidnt you write under latin pen names all the timefind something less obvious

A. HAM:says the actual DAREDEVILalso i am hurt that you think i just pick names because they “sound latin”wikipedia is right there

MATT:blame the bulletin for that name i didnt choose itand also48 tweets?really??

A. HAM:i was aiming for 51 but then i got put in twitter jailalso you dont have a twitter how do you know that

MATT:you forget foggy and karen follow youthey were telling me the whole thingstop flooding karens feed she says she will actually murder you

A. HAM:nah she wouldntshe loves me

MATT:she says “try me”

–

The second time Alexander finds himself in Matt’s rather well-toned arms, it’s after someone decides to kidnap somebody connected to Nelson & Murdock to Send A Message. He’s sort of glad it’s not Karen they kidnapped, but then again, Karen once maced a guy because he put his hand on her thigh.

At the same time, though, it’s a blow to his pride that they picked him and not, y’know, the other two lawyers hanging around.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you liked playing damsel in distress,” Matt teases.

Alexander glares blearily up at him. He’s not sure what drug they got him with that everything’s still kind of hazy and blurry. He’s going to kick his kidnappers’ ass. Just as soon as he can stand. “Fuck you too, Daredevil,” he tells Matt. “Get me out of here so we can sue their faces off.”

Behind them, someone yells something in–well, Alexander’s not sure, but it’s definitely not a language he knows. Matt ducks just behind a crate, and Alexander hears a crack of a gunshot, sees something splinter beside them.

“You know,” Alexander says, “back in my day, lawyers didn’t get kidnapped and shot at. That, you saved for the actual war.”

“Yeah, well, welcome to the 21st century,” says Matt, laying Alexander down next to a crate and pulling his sticks out. “We’re big on equality here.” He cocks his head to the side, as if listening to something, then says, “You gonna be okay?”

“I survived the revolution and getting shot in the shoulder,” says Alexander, sitting up straight and wincing, because fuck damn but everything’s still spinning, kind of. “I can damn well survive your idea of a rescue. Which sucks, by the way.”

“It’s getting you out, isn’t it?” says Matt, with a cocky grin, and then he’s off.

Alexander leans his head against the crate, breathes in and out, and murmurs, “You better come out of this fight alive, Murdock, or Foggy’ll kill me.”

–

They come out of it alive.

Karen hugs Alexander so tightly he eventually has to break away in order to just breathe. Foggy hugs Matt–well, not that tightly, the guy needs his ribs, after all.

“Thanks, by the way,” says Alexander, once his scrapes and bruises have been attended to.

“I thought you didn’t like my idea of a rescue,” says Matt, holding an ice pack to his head. “You said it sucked.”

“I stand by what I said,” says Alexander, sitting down next to him and hissing softly at the jolt of pain through his side, now the drug’s worn off. “Every bit of it. But you got us out, and I’m grateful for that.”

Matt’s gaze doesn’t quite lock on him–instead, they’re focused on a spot somewhere to the right of Alexander. Months of working in close quarters with Matthew Murdock, but this is the first time, Alexander realizes, that he’s really had the opportunity to look closely at his eyes.

In this light, they look kind of hazel. They’re–pretty, Alexander thinks, and he can see why Foggy accuses Matt of somehow drawing all the girls to him.

The silence stretches on just a beat too long, before Matt grins, cocks his head to the side, says, “That mean I get a kiss?”

“I take it back,” Alexander says, shoving lightly at his shoulder. “Next time I get kidnapped, I want Spider-man to rescue me, ‘cause you’re a dick.”

–

After the case is won, the first thing that happens is that Foggy drags all of them out to Josie’s for an overdue thank fucking God you’re not dead party. They’ve been having that regularly, lately, and Alexander keeps finding himself as the designated Responsible One, but not tonight.

“I’m just–” he starts, then stops. “I’m just, look, I’m just sayin’–the world-buildin’ doesn’t make sense, at least in the prequels I knew why the Republic was a goddamn mess–”

“Tone it down,” Matt tells him. For once in his life, he’s the Responsible One, because Alexander’s hell-bent on getting blind (heh!) stinking drunk, because he deserves it after being kidnapped by mafia nutjobs looking to send a message.

For, like, the third time in as many months.

“The prequels were terrible,” says Foggy, three sheets to the wind. “I love you Alex but you are so wrong.”

“Hell no I’m not,” Alexander says. “Look, the script was shitty and the romance was shoehorned in, but goddammit you could see where the Republic was going wrong and how and why the Empire rose, okay–”

“Because there was a Sith Lord in charge and he engineered a war, which would’ve been convincing if he wasn’t so obviously evil–why would anyone trust him–”

“I’m not talkin’ ‘bout how convincing Palpatine was, I’m talkin’ ‘bout how he engineered the fall of the Republic and the Jedi by exploiting the flaws in both, flaws that could’ve easily been fixed–”

“Okay, okay,” says Karen, manicured fingers plucking the bottle of whiskey from Alexander’s grip, “I think I’ve heard enough. And I think you guys have had enough, if you’re arguing about Star Wars.”

“You’re a Trekkie, Karen, you don’t get it,” Foggy tells her. “And one day we shall tempt you to the Dark Side, with our–with our cookies! And our lightsabers. Lightsabers, Karen.”

“Or I’ll tempt you to the Federation,” Karen shoots back, grinning.

“Never!”

“Dorks,” Alexander stage-whispers to Matt, who gives a small huff of laughter, ducking his head, mouth stretching upwards in an actual smile. “Hey, look who’s smiling!”

“I smile plenty,” Matt argues. “Anyway, Karen’s right. You’re both very, very drunk, and we should be getting you home.”

“Aww, Matt,” Foggy groans.

“Matt’s right, we’re going to get you home before either of you puke on someone,” says Karen, hauling Foggy to his feet despite his protests of it was one time. “I’ll take Foggy, you take Alex?”

“That’ll be hilarious,” says Matt, with a laugh. “The blind guy leading the drunk guy down the street.”

“May I remind you of the parkour ninja bullshit you pull off on a regular basis, Matthew goddamn Murdock?” Alexander says.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Matt innocently says, and Alexander shoves at his shoulder. Or, well, tries to–he manages to shove at Matt’s face instead. Well, now he remembers why he doesn’t usually drink this much–his hand-eye coordination is shot to shit. He won’t be doing any writing tonight. “All right, come on, up.”

“I’m up, I’m up,” Alexander says, as Matt hauls him up. If he leans a little on Matt, that’s only because everything’s spinning and he needs some support, nothing more.

–

alcxhamms:guys guys GUYS

i think i just saw a dot ham and the murdock half of n&m stumbling drunkenly down the street and i am not sure how i managed not to squeal like a pig but like

they were

really

really

close

like ham had his arm around murdock and you know that #lams moment during the grammys that SET ME ON FIRE

it was exactly like that

#i was p far away so i couldn’t really tell what they were talking about but like #at one point ham was LOOKING INTO HIS EYES (and the sky’s the limit) #or like looking into his shades  #my point is #they were VERY CLOSE and i was very close to dying right then and there #i’m going straight to hell

–

“Hey, hey, watch out–pothole–”

“Yeah, yeah,” says Alexander, sidestepping and pulling Matt along with him. They look, frankly, ridiculous, swaying back and forth like a newborn giraffe, but Alexander doesn’t care. “Hey, Matt. Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“You gotta do this more often,” he says. “Taking a break.”

Matt huffs out a laugh, says, “That’s rich coming from you. You write like you’re running out of time.”

“Half the time with you assholes, I am running out of time,” Alexander says. “But also, I don’t show up to work bruised all to hell and back, like I went fifteen rounds with a seriously pissed off Hessian.”

“Ten,” says Matt. “And there were two of them.”

“See, when you say shit like that, I get worried,” Alexander says, grabbing hold of Matt’s shoulders to face him. “You’re an asshole, and your idea of a rescue sucks, but you’re my friend. You go down somehow–get arrested or get killed, whichever–and what do you think will happen?”

“You, Foggy, and Karen continue the good work Nelson & Murdock’s been doing,” says Matt.

“No, you’d break our hearts–and also possibly fuck us all over because of all the laws we’re breaking–but that aside,” says Alexander, stepping in closer before Matt can say something else, “that aside, asshole, it’s your name following Foggy’s on the sign. You’re important to us. And you’re important to me.”

“Huh,” says Matt, “you really are drunk, if you’re coming right out with that.”

“I am being heartfelt here,” Alexander tells him. “You were one of my very first friends when I got here. You’re a goddamn liar and you’re shit at doing it, somehow, but you’re my friend. You know how hard it is for me to keep those, and I want to keep you.”

“Foggy and Karen?”

“I wanna keep them too,” says Alexander, “but they’re sensible, they don’t go out every night to punch people in the face. You do.” He lets out a breath and says, softly, “Go out with us. Not all the time, but–sometimes. Let the city keep for a night, let the police do what they’re supposed to do for a night. Take a break.”

“Said the pot to the kettle,” says Matt.

“The pot’s not punching criminals in the face every night,” says Alexander.

“The kettle’s not mouthing off to gangsters and crime lords in the courtroom,” says Matt. “Not often, anyway.”

“I told Foggy not to tell you about that time!” Alexander says, with a huff. “Also you are distracting me. You always distract me.”

“Not always,” Matt argues, a corner of his mouth quirking upwards in a smile. Alexander wonders, suddenly, if Matt can hear his heartbeat speeding up, as if he’s a maiden on her wedding night. “I imagine it takes a lot to distract you.”

“You’re right,” says Alexander, relieved for the out. Then he ruins it by adding: “But you make it look easy. See, you’re doin’ it now, giving me that look, being all sly and coy–Matt.”

Matt covers his mouth up and coughs unconvincingly. “What look?” he says.

“That look! With your eyes! And your smile!” Alexander plants a hand on Matt’s face for emphasis, nearly sends the both of them toppling into an alley. “Now I’ve lost track of what I was talking about, you dick,” he complains, as Matt rights them both. “Where was I–oh, yeah, take a goddamn break, Murdock.”

“And when was the last time you did?” says Matt.

“Fuck you,” Alexander says, “do not make this about me.”

“I was not!” says Matt, holding one hand up, as if he’s swearing on the Bible before a court of law. “Hand to God, on my honor as a Catholic lawyer.”

“You beat people up at night,” says Alexander.

“On my honor as a Catholic lawyer vigilante,” Matt amends, which is hardly any better in Alexander’s opinion. “Seriously, Alex, your work ethic is intense enough that it scares me, sometimes. How do you find the time to do everything you’re doing?”

“I have a day planner,” says Alexander.

“Liar, I heard your heartbeat,” says Matt.

“Heartbeat detectors can be unreliable,” says Alexander, and Matt huffs out a breath and shoves lightly at him. “Ow! Dammit, Murdock, I’m almost fifty–”

“You are fifty,” says Matt.

“Almost,” Alexander stresses. “Anyway, I took a break this very night, so, ha.”

“Before tonight,” says Matt.

“Last Friday,” says Alexander. He pauses, searches through his memory for a second, then says, “Wait, was last Friday the 13th, or–”

“You’re thinking last month,” says Matt, holding him up. He turns his head just as they pass underneath a streetlight, and for a moment it’s as if Matt has been crowned with a halo of fire and thorns, burning brightly against the dark, an avenging angel come to render judgment. Or a vengeful demon, come to do some bloody work.

“Oh,” says Alexander.

Then Matt cocks his head to the side, says, “So I think this is your stop, I can smell your neighbors from here,” and he’s just plain old Matt again.

Oh, thinks Alexander, heart breaking again, because he has been down this road before, seen how men like avenging angels seeking freedom and justice come to violent ends, loved them so much it hurt to fall, fuck.

–

MATT:hey you up

A. HAM:i am in pain and someone needs to turn the fucking sun offits too bright im gonna die

MATT:i did tell you not to try for the eel yesterday nightremember anything about last night

A. HAM:god i dont knoweverythings blurry after foggy dared me to drink that last shotuuuuugh

MATT:if it helps he cant remember anything eitheryoull be pleased to know i managed to get you home without punching anyone in the face

A. HAM:holy shit its a miraclesomeone call the vatican

MATT:youre hilarious

–

The next time Alexander finds himself at Mepkin Abbey, sitting at Laurens’ grave, he lays a bouquet of white lilies at the headstone, then sets a half-drained bottle of wine upright next to it.

“My dear Laurens,” says Alexander, “I think–no, I know I fucked up.” He lets out a long breath, runs a hand through his hair, and says, “Have I told you about Matthew Murdock?”

–

end.