#also. sam hot. whateverrrr

[godforsakenbeast]

as soon as I start playing splinter cell it’s over for everyone. ( for me. im everyone. )

[autisticandroids]

(1)supernatural tma au takes that i want to share w you cus i was thinking about it cus of consumehimnatural and also i want your thoughts in case you have good insights or disagree or whateverrrr: the obvious thing would be to suggest that all major character serve the hunt (insatiable violent stalking of prey, no rest, relinquishing control over to base instincts) but also Cas, Sam, and Dean are extremely distinct and their fears and desires are therefore most interesting when subdivided into

(2) different camps. my hot take- Cas initially serves The Web (fate, predetermination, no free will, sinister intricate plots) and defects to The Corruption (love, consumption, self sacrifice, sublimation of the self to a greater whole, bees bees bees). It’s that classic Cas thing of like trading overt authoritarianism for a new master that he has chosen but is ultimately similarly controlling- one that is eating away at his core from the inside. Cas’s greatest wish is to consume and in turn be

(3) consumed- Sooooo Corruption. Also the very touch of you yadda yadda- and all that language and framing once cas falls that focuses on Cas as a dirty thing, a sullied thing. Sam serves The Stranger i think (the uncanny, those guys who replace you and no one notices)? There’s a really strong focus in his character about like the need for bodily autonomy, for assertion of the self, and his backstory yields a great deal of paranoia regarding how much of his Self is Him Really, which is great for

(4) The Stranger. Like Sam’s greatest fears align with this sense of a Self that is Not Himself whether that’s Lucifer or just something intrinsically unclean in him. It’s his greatest fear but crucially it’s something he is drawn to- this desire to cut loose and be that Other Self (bloodfreak!!!!) also ultimately he caves to the pressure from Dean to give up all sense of self- but rather than allowing himself to like be totally consumed by his relationship with dean by way of removing all sense

(5)personal distinction between himself and dean, Sam puts up a mask of acquiescence that he lets his true self wither behind. Stranger! And I feel like if any of them served The Hunt it would be Dean but really i think he serves The Buried (being trapped, claustrophobia) because to me his greatest fears and miseries seem to center on this sense that everything is another weight he must take on, which is crushing him. He has split his possible futures into “Hunting” and “Apple Pie, Picket Fence"

(6)and no matter where he falls he invariably feels trapped there. Also he is extremely controlling and abusive (don’t worry i love dean, this isnt hate, just an accurate statement) and he sort of draws ppl into his orbit and traps them in their lives with him. Also this bears out since 1. He was buried alive 2. The endgame for all his toxic relationships is to envelop him in a literal underground bunker and 3. He’s afraid of heights/airplanes aka the vast aka the polar opposite of the buried!

ok yes sorry that was all of it, i just have a lot of thoughts that ur thoughts have spurred in me, i hope this tma spn meta wasn't too out of the blue! love your writing, Your Mind is so Very Very. The most very!!!

this is a very insightful analysis, especially re: sam. i wish i had stronger opinions about the tma powers to agree or disagree in a strongly felt way. i do agree about cas and the corruption, though. i love thinking about cas in the context of tma the corruption, because cas is like. well. Top Ten Little Fictional Dudes Who Would Just Love To Be Eaten Alive By A Swarm Of Maggots That Love Him.

[blueberryslumpbby]

game of thrones takes from a wamp based on that ali nahdee post on daenerys:

- she’s right; dany is basically a white savior figure

- HOWEVER!

-i also dislike cersei! i don’t find her satisfactory or fulfilling as a villain and am mostly ready for jaime or tyrion to just kill her already,,,, sorry cersei stans u’re still valid it’s just that,,, dany and cersei r both basically just different “takes” on what white women who want power can be like and they r basically just,, the Same

faves (order is random):

-davos (onion KNIGHT!!! onion knight!!!! also he’s doing a GREAT job with his reading!)

-shireen (babie,,,,,,,b a b i e,,,,)

-arya (vengeful/ murderous daughter!! also if she isn’t canonically bi i WILL kill someone)

-gendry (a lad,, laddie boy)

-ygritte (she’s so cool,,,, u know NOTHIN jon snow!)

-grey worm (haven’t seen much of him yet but he is VALID and i hope his crush on missandei works out for both of them)

-missandei (she’s cool so far and i hope she gets an internal character arc that isn’t related to like,, being dany’s translator/ handmaiden/ w h a t e v e r)

- renly (rip KING!!!!)

-margaery kinda

-shae (she’s so cool and sweet and HONEST, god!! like she’s kind of cynical but she has such a big heart!)

-jon snœw (he’s just so e m o, which is super relatable. also he rlly doesn’t know a damn thing!)

-samwell tarly (king of kindness and compassion and being a bookish sweetheart!! jon and sam’s homoerotic friendship fuels my life)

-oberyn martell (call tywin out, oberyn!! call him OUT!!! he’s a bicon and i love him and i WOULD DIE for him! also he’s one of the ONLY characters of color thus far who has like, goals and a character and people he cares about,,, etc)

problematic characters who i vaguely enjoy, sometimes:

- tywin lannister (*lindsay ellis voice* “the best character in television history DO NOT @ me!!”)

-khal drogo (he’s like one of the only indigenous characters on screen who has lines at ALL,,,, other than like,, danyerys’ dothraki “handmaidens” who basically just say “it is known” and wash her fucking silver rapunzel hair or WHATEVERRRR. honestly maybe jason momoa is just attractive and that’s why he’s here,, idk)

-littlefinger (literally the show doesn’t exist nor does it have a plot without him so i GOTTA give him cred for that! also like,, his convos with varys r the BEST,,, maybe chaos rlly IS a ladder)

-melisandre (carice van houten is hot and that’s that on that. red rlly IS her color tbh)

-the other starks (i like them less than arya and jon but they r all valid and compassionate and GOOD and i also didn’t know where to put them in this list other than here so like, yeah.)

-tyrion + jaime (ahhhh yes the redeemable lannisters,, the bois,,, the brüthers,,, )

-varys (he’s not as successful in his schemes as littlefinger but he’s still kinda an icon tbh,,, who said eunuchs cant be ABSOLUTELY BALLER)

those r my thoughts; obviously this is all mostly a joke and like,, not to be taken seriously lmao. did it 4 the meme.. y e a h

[whentherewerebicycles]

good morning from my roommates. we slept nine and a half hours again last night lol. I guess I am just fully leaning into the ‘erase the sleep deficit’ mission these last three weeks before my new job starts and I don’t have summers off anymore.

still no answer from the foundation and it’s driving me crazyyyyy. if people are on vacation can they at least put up an out of office reply so we’re not left wondering if our email has been shot directly into the void?? I really resent how every message to them has to be carefully crafted & approved by six important people to make sure it’s appropriately deferential and fawning… and then the foundation itself is just free to ignore us for 3-12 weeks every time we reach out to them. ugh and I’m still so annoyed by them giving us false hope in that meeting back in February, then making us go through all the work of crafting a new proposal and budget, then making us wait for 7 weeks with no reply, then unceremoniously rejecting us with no explanation other than “oops sorry we’ve decided to move on.” whateverrrr. if you’re an insanely wealthy institution you don’t have to be considerate of other people’s time or livelihoods I guess. I think if we don’t hear from them this week I need to tell my boss I just can’t do both. I negotiated these extra two weeks off so we could handle interviews and cohort selection plus hiring and training a new part-time person in august, but the delayed response means if they say yes I’ll now be cramming all of that work into the first few weeks of the new job. it’s to the point where I am hoping they say no (or take so long that it becomes a logistical impossibility) because I am Stressed and Exhausted just thinking about what September will feel like.

okay sigh enough irritation. it’s already 11 and I’ve barely done anything. what will make this day feel like a success?

buy plane tickets for sam’s wedding!

go for a brisk walk/light jog (with Pip?) now before it gets too hot. I’ve been putting on weight this summer because I’ve cut back so much on outdoor exercise in the heat. I think I want to try to build in 25 minutes of extra movement per day this week (in addition to my 40 min daily walk), and then see if I can gradually increase that by 10 minutes each week until I’m back up to last summer’s 75-90 minutes of daily exercise. sigh I should also maybe look into rejoining the Y

finish my L&D book (2 hours)

15 min burst of timed writing on LP letter

submit July timesheets

spend 2 hours editing podcast audio

1-2 hours of course planning

experiment with relocating router to see if that will fix my seemingly endless wifi issues (need to call AT&T if it doesn’t)

vacuum bedroom

run dishwasher

wipe down kitchen counters and stove

take out trash and recycling x 2

do veggie prep for fried rice or I will never do it and these veggies will go bad!

walk dogs 40 minutes tonight