#although some of the stuff she wrote is just weird

[waifuoftomonori]

Oh, Tomonori would hate me for exposing what a kinky dominant freak he is. He works so hard to cultivate this gentle, polite, inoffensive public persona (although come to think of it, everyone in Kifu has known him all his life and there's probably at least a couple people who have seen how he really is with Akifusa), and here I am writing fics about him tying up his partners and disciplining them for being naughty? And then sharing some of those fics with others and talking about them constantly?

(I like to flatter myself by thinking that secretly, he would read and enjoy them in private. The lack of editing might bother him in some places, but hopefully it's nothing too egregious and he'd still be able to quietly indulge in the sexy bits. I do think I nailed his preferences spot-on. Of course I would think that, I wrote it. But regardless.)

Shiki would probably love me. She'd be shocked at first, maybe slightly embarrassed... then amused, intrigued, and turned on in short succession. She'd enjoy the idea of some well-intentioned mischief and might even tease the boys about it on occasion. Might quote a line from the fanfic as she and Tomonori are taking a break together or she and Akifusa are about to start sparring.

I don't think Akifusa is capable of hating anyone. He wouldn't protest my portrayal of him following Shiki's orders or protecting her at all; he'd probably have a burst of pride reading how I had him protect her in the opening AAT fight. (If anything, I can picture him arguing that she wouldn't need defending: "The Princess would never leave her flank unguarded in a fight. She would know exactly where her opponents are at all times. She's an awesome fighter and doesn't need any help!") Although I write Akifusa as being very submissive and sometimes not the brightest in certain areas, I try to show him being competent at his job, staunchly loyal to his friends and Kifu, and a kind, sincere person all around.

However. When it comes to, er, certain intimate scenes involving him and Tomonori, that's when I can see Akifusa growing a little uncomfortable and/or defensive. (Probably turned on too, don't get me wrong, but it would take him some time to admit that.) He'd protest that he wouldn't just give in and let Tomonori "win the fight" that easily (in canon, Akifusa is a virgin unfamiliar with kinky practices). I don't think he'd protest that Tomonori wouldn't be that mean; Akifusa knows he would, if only to rile him up, and in most of my fics I attempt to show that despite Tomo's taunting and dominance in the bedroom, he's actually a very gentle person.

(Then he'd read a bit further and blush, and his subsequent protests, if any, would lack a certain conviction.)

Shinra wouldn't necessarily hate me, either, but he would certainly have a few choice words about my portrayal of him. Words that he yells two inches away from my face while he brandishes a printed copy of my fanfic and tries to deflect attention from the fact that he's blushing like crazy (and possibly still aroused from what he just read). "You don't get how strong an oni is, do you?! An oni would never submit! And what's all this crap about my family? My brother was a great big brother! He was the best! A-and that doesn't mean I want to fuck him, either, or sleep with someone pretending to be him! I-I don't know what world you're living in, but...", etc.

(He would not actually hurt me. He's a big softie at heart. I think he would also secretly go back and reread parts of it, but only the parts where Tomonori and Akifusa are showering him with comfort, praise, and headpats. The incest roleplay stuff would just be too weird for him.)

Every poll on this blog is about fictional characters only. This request was sent to us and we made a poll in response to it. Send any Blorbo-related question you want to our inbox and we’ll make a poll on which people can vote with their own Blorbos in minds

[megwritesriddles]

A Few Strings Attached ༊*·˚

18+ MDNI !!!

Pairing: Sam (Stardew Valley) x Fem! Reader / You

Summary: Request: I saw your post about requests, and I love your sdv stuff! Could you maybe do something with the reader and Sam being fwb. Sam gets super jealous when she hangs out/starts getting close with one of the others, leading to him confessing the next time they have sex. If you wanted to have him be a little rougher with the reader, that'd be cool to, just whatever you're comfy with ^-^ tysm!!

Tags: Friends-with-benefits, P in V, Unprotected sex, Fingering, Nipple play (minor), Biting, Rough sex, Jealousy, Moody!Sam, Love confession, Possessive behaviour (slight).

Word count: 2.5k

all fandom masterlist | sdv masterlist | read it on ao3

Authors note: This may seem like it starts in the middle, because it DOES!! I wrote too much unnecessary exposition like always so I'm posting it as an optional 'prequel' to read. There's a few weird text formatting things going on that I can't fix but oh well!! Hope you like it anyway mwah ( ◕◡◕)っ ♡

'PREQUEL' HERE !! (you don't have to read it but if you do, prob read it first, it's only 1.3k words)

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He’s late arriving at the Saloon one Friday for your weekly hangout, a time to enjoy the ‘friends’ part of friends-with-benefits with you and relax with the people he’s closest to. The new riff he’d written on his guitar had kept him busy and he’d lost track of time. When he arrives at the Saloon and heads to the side room to find his friends, he freezes a little at the sight before him. Sure, you and Sebastian had started talking more lately, he’d noticed, but Sam was confident he had you to himself and had no reason to worry. He barely thought of anything but you each day since starting the arrangement, and as you seemed to enjoy the sex as much as he did, he assumed you would be the same. Sebastian had ceased to be any sort of a threat in his mind, until now. The two of you stood at the end of the pool table, way too close together for Sam’s comfort, talking and giggling, nudging each other with your elbows. Sam just stared for a moment as the two of you clearly made jokes back and forth, giggling and swatting each other. What could the two of you possibly have to giggle about? You didn’t have anything much in common… Did you? Sam tried to think but came up blank, yet something was clearly very funny to the two of you. Trying to control the irrational urge inside of him to rush over and stake some claim over you, he took a deep breath and wandered over.

“Hey guys, having fun without me?” he teases, although his voice is just a little tense enough to give him away. He doesn’t think of himself as the jealous type, and really you weren’t his to get jealous over, but the burning of his cheeks tells him exactly how he feels. He wants to wrap an arm around you and pull you in, bite your neck in the way that he knows you love right in front of Sebastian and actually leave a mark this time.

“Hey Sammy, had to entertain ourselves somehow while you weren’t here,” you tease, your voice and expression sweet, unaware that Sam is seething with jealousy. Is this what you’d do if he went out of town for a while or something? Find a way to ‘entertain’ yourself? Turn to Sebastian? His face falls without him being able to help it.

“Right,” he grunts, staring at you intently. You tilt your head at him, finally noticing something is wrong. Sam is seldom moody, he’s always outgoing and happy-go-lucky, so seeing his face twisted into a sour expression is disconcerting. 

“Is something wrong Sammy?” you ask gently. “Why were you late?” you clearly assume whatever made him late is what has him upset. Are you really that naive? He glances contemptuously at Sebastian who is still at your side, looking similarly concerned. 

“I’m just tired, honestly I’m gonna go home, you’ll have more fun without me bringing you down,” he grumbles, turning to leave. He knows he shouldn’t be acting like this, you’re both his friends. Friends. And it wasn’t like he caught you kissing Sebastian, just laughing with him, but the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach persists. The two of you and even Abigail protest, saying he’ll feel better after a round of pool, but he’s made up his mind, he cannot watch this. If you want Sebastian, who is he to stand in your way? As long as he doesn’t have to see it play out. He stomps back to his house, listening out in case you’ve come chasing after him, but you haven’t, taking him at face value and assuming something had happened at home to upset him. Admittedly, he does feel a little stupid returning home mere minutes after he left, and considers turning back around, but can’t bring himself to. Hiding away in his room sounds best right now. He waits quietly in his bed, glaring up at the ceiling, expecting that you might knock on his window, but you don’t. It pains him to imagine what you might be doing instead. Could Sebastian please you as well as he could? How was he to know? You might be forgetting all about him at this very instant. He comforts his male pride by convincing himself that Sebastian is probably a disappointing size compared to him, even though he has no evidence of this. Then when he realises what he’s thinking, he feels wildly ashamed. Sebastian was his closest and oldest friend here. Wasn’t the whole point of this arrangement for things not to be complicated? His thoughts had never been so muddled. After another half hour, he concludes you aren’t coming to knock on his window, and turns himself over to sleep.

The next day, although he tells himself he won’t, he’s drawn to walk to your farm at his usual time. He’s a little worried about what might be waiting for him. He imagines Sebastian embracing you from behind as you bake, something he’s always wanted to do, as he often arrives just as you finish baking and is sent home with some fresh rolls. He knocks on your door and you open it like usual, smiling brightly. 

“Hey Sa– ooh,” a puff of air leaves your lungs as he pounces on you, pushing you to the wall of your entryway. You give him a bewildered look as he tilts your chin from side to side, examining your neck for any marks. “What are you doing?” you chuckle, but he doesn’t answer, examining a tiny dent in your skin that resembles a bite. Was that the same one he’d left on you a few days ago? Beyond hope, he hoped it was. “Sam?” He pulls back and looks at you, examining your face as if something in your expression would give away if you’d done something with Sebastian. “What are you looking for?” you scoff. He knows he’s being unreasonable, so he falters a little.

“Nothing…” he huffs, looking away, though his hands remain on your waist, thumbs rubbing gentle circles. You laugh softly and it sends a jolt through him, reminding him of the scene last night. He slams his lips to yours to shut you up, causing you to squeak in surprise for a moment, but quickly relax, slipping your arms around his neck just in time for him to hoist you up and carry you to your bed. Your lips remain connected, moulding together and tongues finding one another as he walks you over. He’s determined to make you forget everything but his name. The bed dips as he climbs on, lowering you to lie beneath him, wasting no time in sliding his hands beneath your shirt to push it up. You giggle at his sudden dominant attitude, but you don’t mind at all, lifting your arms so that he can free you of your shirt. “No bra…” he purrs. “Expecting someone?” His voice is rough enough to give you a little pause, but his hands dancing all over your bare skin don’t allow your brain to pause for long. His thumbs circle your nipples, causing them to stiffen into peaks.

“You, of course,” you sigh as he lowers his head, wrapping his warm lips around one rosy bud and swirling his tongue, gently rolling the other between his fingers. A gentle moan leaves your lips and he flicks his tongue back and forth. 

“Me,” he mumbles against your skin, slowly kissing his way from one nipple to the other, before taking it in his mouth and repeating the swirling action you so liked. 

“Mhmm,” you whine as he carefully brushes his teeth against your sensitive skin. He doesn’t bite but just teases you enough for goosebumps to rise on your skin, the cool air meeting the wet kisses over your chest adding to your shivers. His hands cup the weight of your breasts, his mouth swapping between your nipples periodically just to tease you, hardness rubbing against your inner thigh. You squirm, trying to shift so Sam’s bulge would press where you need it to. He growls, slamming his hips to yours and harshly rutting against you. Your head tips back and you moan, much to his private delight.

“You want me, don’t you? Tell me you want me not Sebastian,” he hisses, biting his way over the swell of your breast and up to your neck. 

“What–? What does Sebas–,”

“Just say it, tell me you want me,” he demands. Your mind is hazy with arousal, but even so, you know something is incredibly odd with this ask. At your silence, he ruts against you once more, spurring you into action.

“I want you, I want you, only you…” you whine, wriggling against him softly. Full of pride, he bites down on your neck, sucking a harsh mark into your skin. Another squeak leaves you, surprised by this, he doesn’t usually mark you, it defeats the purpose of hooking up in secret, but before you can protest, he’s tugging down your leggings and rubbing his fingers through your slick folds, melting all of your thoughts away until you’re left with only his touch against you. Your hips chase his fingers as he playfully withdraws them, enjoying watching how needy you are. He isn’t usually so teasing, but his ego needs stroking right now, as does something else. He sucks his fingers clean with a groan and drops them back down to resume rubbing. The sensation has you whining and squirming and he enjoys it whole-heartedly, guiding your hand to his bulge as he dips his fingers inside of you, stretching you open. Ever generous, you immediately begin to stroke him through his jeans, even despite being a little distracted. It’s a fumble for you to undo his jeans when your eyes are glued to where his fingers are disappearing inside of you, but eventually, you manage. He snatches your hand before you can try to dip it in his boxers.

“No, I want to fuck you,” he growls, making you moan, looking up at him starry-eyed. You want it too, but words escape as his fingers drive as deep as they can go into you before quickly withdrawing completely. The empty feeling makes you whine, but you don’t have to worry for long. He sucks his fingers clean again, making sure he doesn’t miss a drop and then strips himself down to the buff, kicking off his jeans. He always enjoys the way you admire his body, but today it feels especially favourable. He admires you in turn, dripping wet and perfectly sexy, the perfect body laid out in front of him, belonging to the perfect person. Something regrettable threatens to slip out of his mouth, so he bites his lip and settles right between your legs, placing his heavy cock against you, and gently tapping your clit with it a few times. You whine and wriggle, giving him your best wide-eyed plea, he loves it when you get like this. Out of a hint of misplaced lingering spite, he grinds his cock between your folds a few times, not yet pressing inside like you want, getting the both of you wetter and wetter. It would be torture for him too if it wasn’t for the look on your face. “Pretty perfect girl…” he hums as you whimper for him. You’re too aroused to notice the seriousness of those words, he usually only calls you hot or sexy. 

Finally, at long last, he grabs the base of his cock and angles himself so he can push inside of you. He buries himself to the hilt immediately, revelling in the choked-out gasp that leaves your lips. He takes a grip on your hips and, after a few gentle thrusts to assess if you can take it, he begins pounding into you. Your eyes roll back and you shout out in pleasure and he feels much the same way. His eyes roll a little and he growls, holding you down as his hips slam into yours over and over. You’re so tight and warm and perfect. He pants, staring down at you, flushed and blissed out, your tits bouncing with each ruthless thrust. You take him so well, you look so beautiful, even now. He leans down to kiss you, your noses bumping as he bullies his cock into you, tongues making a sloppy mess together. You’re so perfect, nothing has ever felt this good, he refuses the idea that someone else might take this from him. With a loud grunt, his pace increases impossibly more, forcing loud wanton moans from your throat with each movement.

“You’re mine,” he pants, a hand coming up to grip your chin, forcing you to meet his eyes. “You’re mine, say it,”

“I’m yours,” your fucked-out mind doesn’t understand the gravity of what he’s saying, merely obeying orders so your orgasm isn’t stolen from you. Your words make him groan and lift your legs, thrusting into you at a new angle. You cry out in pleasure.

“You’re mine, say it, say my name,” he growls.

“Sam…” you whine, unable to form a coherent thought.

“That’s it, my perfect girl, I–” he cuts himself off, stuttering and twitching deep within you. “Ah–, I’m close, please…” he ruts himself against you a few more times, the pleasure completely clouding his brain. “I- I love you,” he grunts against your lips.

“Sam…!” you sob and it sends him over the edge, his thrusts slowly significantly as he shoots ropes of his cum deep inside of you.

“Fuck, I love you,” he chokes as he cums. “I love you so much…” he collapses on top of you but gives a few more weak thrusts into you as he feels your fingers frantically rubbing at your clit, helping you fall over that edge. He hisses when you do, feeling you squeeze down around his oversensitive cock, but he can’t bring himself to pull out. He lies there on top of you, one arm sliding behind your back to keep you pressed to him. His eyes fall shut and he takes a deep breath, completely satisfied. 

“You love me?” your weak voice squeaks from beneath him and he suddenly realises what he’s said, what he said throughout what you just did. He could probably pass it off as a weird kink, or just getting lost in the moment, but as he looks down at your flushed confused face, he can’t lie.

“Y-yeah I uh… I guess I do,” he grins sheepishly, back to his old self now he got the insecure anger out of his system.

“And you… thought something was going on with me and Sebastian? That’s why you were being so odd?” you sluggishly piece the pieces together, struggling to think in your pleasured haze, but unable to ignore it. He nods. “Well, nothing is going on, I promise you, we’ve been talking more because I’m trying to get him to ask Abi out,” you chuckle tiredly. “Why would I want him when I have you?”

“My thoughts exactly,” Sam jokes, but is incredibly relieved to hear it. “And… the whole ‘me loving you’ thing, how do you feel about that?” he asks, gently wiping some sweat from your brow. 

“Well… I guess I love you too,”

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hey you! want to get tagged in my work when it comes out? click here! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧

xoxoxo

[1sab4lla]

camp counselor! tashi duncan hcs

WHO જ⁀➴ .. reluctantly agreed to sign up for a summer camp as camp counselors together, as a getaway (technically, it was, anyway) before she went off to stanford, and you to princeton.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. hated it the second you stepped foot on outside in the heat. she hated dealing with bugs, dirt, and uncomfortable weather. she doesn’t like the uneasiness hanging in the air—she’d heard offhand comments from locals about the camp, rumors about strange happenings in the woods.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. thought the other counselors were annoying. the feeling only grew when at the first night, while telling campfire stories, a counselor told a story about an old camp legend—something about a counselor who went mad and committed a massacre. she bit down her annoyance, her grip on your thigh tightening every time he spoke.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. tries to ignore the others, and bonds with the kids quickly. she thinks they’re adorable (although she’d never admit it. kids still bother her.. a lot). she helps them with setting up tents, and occasionally will play a campfire game with them to shut them up.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. liked to sneak out with you into the woods at night, and make out. you know a good spot with soft bushes. she’d never admit it, but sometimes the peacefulness of the woods would get to her, especially when the two of you were alone. she felt safer when it was just the two of you, away from the tension of the camp and the rumors swirling around. the quiet of the night, the rustling of leaves—she’d let herself relax for a few moments, even if it was only when she was with you.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. despite all the discomfort, liked the experience—being away from the world. she’d cling to you openly when the creepy stories got too much. it wasn’t just the physical moments in the woods that made it special—it was the sense of solidarity, the unspoken understanding that you two were in this together, whether it was dealing with the weirdness of camp or the impending separation after the summer.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. notices first. at first, it was easy to dismiss—just small, almost forgettable inconveniences. a piece of equipment would go missing, supplies would be misplaced, flashlights would flicker unexpectedly, and it was always just enough to feel like coincidence. but things escalated. campers began whispering about seeing someone standing just beyond the tree line at night. some of them insisted they heard voices after lights-out: strange, fragmented whispers that drifted through the dark. voices that didn’t sound like anyone at camp. she didn’t laugh it off like the others, she believed them. from that night on, she kept a flashlight tucked beneath her pillow—just in case.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. notices immediately when a counselor didn’t come back to their cabin. the director wrote it off as them quitting and sneaking out—but her bunk was still made, her stuff untouched. that’s when she stopped pretending everything was all stupid fun. that night, she clung tighter than usual when you snuck out to the bushes, her kisses frantic, as if she was afraid it’d be the last time.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. used to love the rain. that night, the rain fell in heavy sheets, relentless and loud, drowning out the usual chorus of insects and leaves. then came the scream. sharp, piercing, and far too close. she took off running, the mud clung to her shoes as she scurried through the downpour. she burst into your cabin, soaked and panicked, barely able to get the words out. she didn’t want to go back to the fire circle, her instincts screamed at her not to. but you two went. the scene that waited for you there still haunts her. benches knocked over like someone had fled in a hurry. scattered debris. drops of blood gleaming on the wet stone. and the axe—the one from the equipment shed—was gone. after that, the rain never felt the same again.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. quickly locked the campers in the mess hall. the power went out. and the remaining counselors—those who were alive—huddled together with flashlights. she didn’t speak much, except to grip your hand. her grip would get tighter every time you heard another scream, and the thump of a body. you two scurried off when the masked figure tore their axe through the door, ending up barricaded yourselves in the arts & crafts cabin. she had a pair of scissors gripped in her fist, and you had color pencils (sharpened, obviously. there weren't much weapons, unfortunately).

WHO જ⁀➴ .. barely had time to register the flicker of movement behind you. the figure emerged from the dark as if waiting for this moment. you shoved her behind you instinctively, yelling for her to run. the attack happened fast.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. didn’t run, not at first. she screamed, charging at the figure with her scissors. you were already on the ground, blood in your mouth, telling her to go. she didn’t want to leave you, didn’t want to believe it was happening. eventually, she did—barefoot, bloody, and grieving—until she burst into the main lodge and collapsed.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. regained consciousness with a paramedic shaking her. her vision swam as she blinked against the harsh light, her mind slow to catch up—but the first thing she did was search for you. her eyes darted frantically across the bloodied campsite, heart pounding, until the empty space where you should’ve been made her stomach drop. even as they tried to lift her onto the stretcher, she fought to stay. she insisted you were coming—that maybe you were hurt, sure, but not gone. you’d walk out of the trees any second now, bruised but grinning, like you always did.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. broke down when she learned the final death toll. fourteen lives lost, including yours. once she got home, she shut herself away in her room, swallowed by grief and shock, unable to face the world outside her door. for days, she didn’t eat, didn’t speak. just mourned. at one point, she nearly turned down her stanford scholarship, convinced she couldn’t move forward. but her parents gently pushed her to go, reminding her of everything she’d worked for. and maybe, deep down, she knew that leaving wouldn’t mean forgetting.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. carried your memory like a wound—something that never quite scabbed over. she’d stare out dorm windows at night, wondering what would’ve happened if she’d made you run with her. wondering if you’d still be alive if she’d said the camp was a stupid idea.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. shut down patrick and art immediately, still in the grieving process. she couldn’t even think about dating, when she’d lost you.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. gave up on tennis for a bit, but pushed herself to go back (after all, her scholarship was for tennis). grief clung to her like a second skin, heavy and unrelenting, but she tried to outrun it, tried to drown it out in the rhythm of serves and volleys. every morning, before the sun had fully risen, she was on the courts. and at night, long after the world had gone quiet, she was still there, chasing something she couldn’t quite name.

WHO જ⁀➴ .. let training became her ritual, her escape. with every swing of the racket, she fought to keep her sorrow at bay. when the knee injury came—sharp, sudden, and cruel—she barely flinched. the pain wasn’t as bad as the pain of losing you, in her head.

[riveroftales]

request:

can you write a letter by Genya to his lover (us)?

❀❀❀❀❀❀ 𝙰𝚍𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚎𝚍 ❀❀❀❀❀❀

ғᴇᴍ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴘʀᴇ-ᴇsᴛᴀʙʟɪsʜᴇᴅ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴀɢᴇ + ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀᴅᴜʟᴛs

𝖢𝖢'𝗌 𝖭𝗈𝗍𝖾: I’m really sorry. I couldn’t resist🥹🙏

「𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓, 𝐍𝐎 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓」

Hello, Y/n!

How are you doing, My Love? I know you’re over at your family’s, but I can’t help but worry. I’m just really nervous for you and our little girl. The hashira training is going well. I do miss you though! It’s cold without you next to me.

Tanjiro made me spend more time with his other friends. There’s a weird kid who seems obsessed with Tanjiro’s little sister Nezuko, and a guy who wears a boar head. The two can NOT stop screaming, but it’s nice. It feels full in one way, almost like if I was lost, as long as I can hear their bicker, I know I’d be safe. Like, I’m not really alone. I still miss you a lot. I’m not alone, but I feel a bit lonely without you.

I went to Lady Kocho’s estate for my annual checkup. Did you know Aoi’s growing vegetables? She promised that she’ll let me take some back to you when I’m done with training! I’m at the last stage, so I promise I’ll be over as soon as I can! I’ll make all the food, as much as you want. You already do so much just by simply carrying our baby girl and I’m so proud of you. I can’t even believe it myself. Our little baby will be here with us in less than 2 months.

I really regret being unable to stay with you through this stage. I wish I could hold your hair back when you have morning sickness, and despite how much I complain about it myself, I miss massaging your feet. Make sure to stay in bed rest like you’re supposed to!

The demon attacks have significantly reduced, and although it leaves a lot of time for us to train and grow stronger, I can’t sleep properly. I’m scared, My Love. I wish I was there to protect you. Remember the thunders? I still think about it a lot. It was one of the first nights we spent together. You were so scared and clung to me. I think that triggered something in me to a point I feel discomfort when I’m not with you at all times. I wish I could be of arm’s length to you.

I’m going to finish this entire thing as soon as I can. I had to run a few errands recently during one of my breaks, and I came across a shop which sold the most adorable baby clothes. I want to go to it with you before all the good stuff is taken. Imagine our little baby running around in a red kimono as tiny as hers.

It’s late right now, and I’m really tired. I’m saving all the stories so I can tell them to you when I come back. I’m going to go to bed, My Love. Remember, I’m away physically, but I’m still with you. We’re under the same stars.

Goodnight, Y/n. I love you so much, forever and always. Please tell our baby that her papa also loves her beyond worlds and he’s really sorry he can’t be there to tell her himself. I really love you two. Sleep tight♥︎

Your One and Only Darling Husband

Genya Shinazugawa

How many times have you read that same letter? Too many times. You lost count. But it wasn’t enough, somehow.

You read it again so many times you memorised the whole thing. Hell, you even wrote it down so many times you perfected his handwriting on it.

You just missed him so much.

“Ma.”

A tiny hand touched your cheek where a fresh tear was rolling on.

You looked down and looked at your 1 year old daughter, Hana, gazing up at you with her father’s eyes. It was so funny how the way she looked at you was exactly the same as how Genya looked at you.

“Hey, baby.” You smiled, quickly wiping your tears before kissing her forehead. “Sorry.. mama just misses papa so much.”

Hana toyed with your kimono slightly. She took interest in the smooth silk.

You leaned back on the pillar of the porch on your backyard of the house you and Genya purchased when you two were newlyweds. The night sky was pretty, and luckily enough, the stars were all visible.

“Hana, baby.” You kissed your daughter’s cheek to get her attention before gently turning around and slowly guiding her head up, letting her look at the stars.

“Whenever your papa was away, he always said that he was never truly away because we were under the same stars. Smart, isn’t he?” You smiled. Hana was gazing at the stars with her mouth slightly ajar in awe, her gaze fixed on one particular star which shone brighter.

“You see that? That star?” You whispered quietly. “That’s papa. He’s up there, looking over us~ As long as he’s there, we’re safe.” Tears started to fill your eyes again, but you fought them back. “He loved us so much that he became a star so he could protect us. Heroic, isn’t it?”

You turned your daughter to face you again before cradling her against your chest.

“Your uncle, Sanemi..” you grunted slightly as you stood up and started walking inside. “He’s coming over tomorrow. He’s going to tell you all about your father~ So get some rest, okay?”

It barely took any effort to lull your baby to sleep. You simply bounced her a bit and she was out cold.

Hana had her own separate crib, but in the same room as yours. You kept her warm and all snuggled up in her blankets before getting in the futon yourself.

You read Genya’s letter from habit. It had become a tradition to do so every night, and let one singular tear fall on the paper.

You read the letter for the nth time as the nth tear fell on the paper.

“Damn right you’re my one and only…”

[theprissythumbelina]

Esa’s eye was caught by something flying through the air high above. She tilted her head back, and watched it spiral lazily down through layers of clouds. Not a bird, she realized as it came closer. Sunlight blazed off blood-red scales. Dragon. It turned and wheeled toward the mountains to the south, and disappeared there. Around her neck, her little green trilled. Esa stroked his head, and let the feelings of longing and fear flow into her. They mixed with her own, but the combination only made her feel less alone. 

Couldn't help myself

So anyway the general plot of A Trial of Dragons is that a rural girl comes across the body of a boy and an injured dragon hatchling. She rescues the hatchling and accidentally bonds with it, so that when soldiers come searching for the boy and the hatchling, she is taken to the capital to be tried for kidnapping, murder, and stealing a dragon. Her trial is presided over by humans bonded to adult dragons, and though she is found innocent of kidnapping and murder, she is found guilty of stealing a dragon, and given to the dragons to pay off her life debt. In the background is an assassination and kidnapping plot against the dragon hatchling.

[jennistarjs]

Rings of Power Characters - Types of Fanfiction They Write

Galadriel – Publicly turns her nose up at the ‘hedonistic frivolities’ of fanfiction but has a secret account no one knows about where she writes the filthiest dubcon smut you’ve ever read.

Elrond – Writes long, involved multi-chapter fanfics full of detail and character development that take him years to complete. He’s basically writing novels at this point. Has a small but very dedicated fanbase.

Gil-galad – Once wrote a poem that was an instant hit amongst multiple fandoms and has not written a single thing since.

Celebrimbor – Writes fanfics with romances that are weirdly toxic although he doesn’t seem to realise this. Will defend his characters to the death and does not listen to any criticism.

Cirdan – He was writing fanfics in the early days on sites you’ve never heard of. You can’t even access these sites anymore, let alone read anything he wrote.

Arondir – Soft romantic bean. He is the master of hurt/comfort, with much more comfort than hurt. He would never write smut, but he would write long involved lovemaking where everyone ends up crying and cuddling.

Durin IV – Cannot write a single sentence of fanfic, but loves reading them. Is the type of reader everyone longs for – leaves likes, insightful comments and constantly recommends to others. Is always the first to like and comment on anything Elrond or Disa write.

Disa – Writes epic stories with epic characters that stay in your head long after you’ve finished reading, and she makes it look effortless.

King Durin III – Once said “what is a fans fiction?” Doesn’t have a clue.

Narvi – Writes weird romances between different races that makes people look at him sidelong. Gollum/Balrog slash? He invented it.

Theo – Fanfiction is not cool, and he will tell people that repeatedly as he reads yet another smut fic on a secret account.

Estrid – I’m sorry to say it, but she’s fully invested in straight vanilla fanfics that might as well be in the romance section of a bookshop.

Isildur – Pretends to love the straight vanilla romances. Secretly into some wild BDSM shit.

Elendil – Self insert fanfic, all about knights rescuing fair maidens. Dedicates every single one to ‘the lady who has my heart’. He thinks he’s being subtle. He is not.

Miriel – Likes Elendil’s fanfiction on a secret account. On her main account she will get involved in a fandom, drop the best 1000 word oneshot you’ve ever read, then move on to the next while you’re still reeling.

Pharazon – Definitely watersports. Just…just a whole lot of watersports.

Earien – She has no time for smut, she’s here for deeply involved relationships that are both twisted and beautiful. If dicks touch, she’s out.

Valandil – Reads all of Arondir’s fic and adores it. His own fanfics are so sweet they will give you cavities.

Kemen – Will troll a fanfic, absolutely tearing it apart. Then copies it almost verbatim and posts it in another fandom, getting all the glory for himself until he is inevitably discovered and shamed. Never learns from this and will be doing it again next week.

Nori and Poppy – Write fanfics together, which means that nothing they write actually has a coherent plot, but they are clearly having so much fun that everyone enjoys them anyway.

The Stranger – He didn’t realise you’re supposed to make stuff up and just writes a diary about things that have happened to him today. Somehow this has garnered him several fans who absolutely love reading along.

Adar – He will write NSFW fanfic that will curl your toes with its passion and eloquence. All the Elves are jealous of him. The uruk are forbidden to read his stuff ‘until they are older’.

Tom Bombadil – Created the fanfiction sites.

Sauron – Oh god. You just know he writes the most generic fanfics but somehow has a huge cult following that is inexplicable. His fans are all raging lunatics who will defend him to death but he never pays them any attention. Absolutely obsessed with Galadriel’s fanfic and is the only one that knows about her secret account.

[h-sleepingirl]

Hi sleepingirl! I don't ever use tumblr so this account is totally empty, but I wanted to message anyways. I spent a lot of 2023 coming to terms with having a deeply rooted mind control fetish that's all intertwined with my experience of sex, intimacy and even a sort of weird spirituality I don't yet understand.

I really liked listening to your old podcast and honestly, some of the bits where you talked about dealing with the shame of being wired in this weird way and how it's impacted your life was so relieving to hear - I guess it's knowing that i'm not the only one like this. I felt incredibly seen! I don't understand why this is such a big thing for me but it is.... accepting it is really hard but it's been worth it for me :)

I used to talk to the small handful of people I could find online who Got It about the weird intersection of hypnosis and sexuality and spirituality (I think Spider/chelicerate was one? She said she knows you and recommended I talk to you about this, I believe, but it's been a while and I don't really remember now). This was around the time I was becoming slightly jaded with some aspects of hypnokink and trying to learn from the material that existed and seeing how many people don't seem to care about the sheer depth that there is to all this that I don't even know how to put into words. I guess... I don't know honestly It's hard to talk about this without sounding totally crazy but I remember reading some of your posts about hypnosis being magic, actually and how that's impacted some of your own understandings of spirituality and I really wanted to ask you about what that's been like because I feel like in some way I've had a tiny peek behind the same veil so to speak and it's really crazy feeling like there's nobody else who understands ;;

I definitely can relate with a lot of what you’re saying! I’m glad the podcast has been a comfort for you. There are a lot of us who are this way, although nowadays as hypnokink gets more popular I run into way more people who are not fetishists but instead just picking it up as a fun kink. Which is fine! But it’s definitely different. But if anything, hypnosis as a sex act is more socially acceptable now than it ever has been! It’s heading towards mainstream (and certainly feels that way in queer/trans spaces).

I resisted it for a long time but hypnosis is inseparable from my spirituality at this point. There is just too much overlap. The philosophy I have learned from one innately affects the other. I just wrote a piece about being a living doll at an erotic hypnosis con and I was thinking about a famous Jewish philosopher during it. This week I went to artsy Torah study and wrote a small drash/poem based on my experience being hypnotic/erotic art (not overtly). It’s all connected.

I’m Jewish, but have a lot of history in Earth-based spirituality, witchy stuff, etc that will probably never go away for me. Magical traditions (new and old ones) always seem to include trance practices, but rarely give it anything but surface level attention. And “hypnosis” tries to distance itself from that and put itself into a scientific box. The overlap is painfully obvious, but each discipline wants to deny it, and label their techniques in such a way that they can’t be used in any other context. And like you say, it all sounds crazy -- because hypnosis sounds crazy, and we live in a very rationalist world where if you talk authentically about spirituality you are labeled as crazy too. 

The thing is I don’t think there’s a good way to marry the two except to tailor both to your own views and needs. I have read books that try to make a magical framework out of hypnosis and vice versa and they feel like they are very frustrating to me. I am not comfortable with any single model or framework of esotericism/spirituality nor of hypnosis -- I need freedom to move through multiple perspectives. I am also not comfortable blindly synthesizing things that I don’t understand or learn the background of. So it’s really this big DIY journey of trying to understand what I believe about a) the world/God/etc, and b) human psyche/intimacy/relationships.

I think there’s some very obvious stuff where the two overlap -- I may have talked before about feeling some sort of indescribable divine feeling in deep hypnosis, or encountering difficult-to-explain occurrences during play. I don’t talk about that stuff mostly because it’s very personal and I have no vested interest in convincing other people this stuff is real when I don’t even fully believe it all myself. I also don't think those kinds of experiences are where the real hypnosis/spirituality overlap is. But I think that sanitizing hypnotic experiences and saying they MUST be explainable by rational means is disingenuous and limiting. I don’t think we should go around saying hypnosis is literally spirit possession or something. But we should be open to the idea that people are having experiences that feel like they defy reality, and yes you can use psychology as a model to describe that but it’s just that -- an imprecise model. This is another case where I think it’s critical to be able to hold multiple models.

Personally, for me this means I need to release the impulse to find “The Objective Truth” and instead engage in what feels like radically human experience -- hypnosis is deeply human, spirituality is deeply human. Science is human too, and I respect it, but the denial or obsessive rationalizing of subjective experience is not what I want out of my human life. I have been through a lot of spiritual models/spaces in my life and the only constant is that I feel like I am not sure -- and that’s what defines my spirituality. It’s the “not knowing” or curiosity towards the world, rather than trying to explain everything away. We know the mechanics of why the wind blows, but a gust out of nowhere still makes my hair stand on end and makes me think “Wow.” That’s actually an overlap with hypnosis: Erickson hypnotized people by telling them that they didn’t have to know anything in trance -- the opposite of our “normal” lives.

Anyways, I hope any of this is interesting to you or what you were asking about lol

[leonawriter]

Okay apparently I'm going to do a study on this introduction, because going back to it? Especially knowing more about Hakuba via more recent Magic Kaito chapters? Fascinating stuff.

So. Hakuba's introducing himself, and he starts out by bringing up "My father spoke of you often" and "It seems you're a very sharp detective." Both of those are positive!

Hakuba is... high society, compared to Hattori simply hanging out around high ranking people and treating them like normal. Hattori argues with Kazuha in a very down to earth way, while Hakuba knows how to drink tea and probably how to set the table with a full set of cutlery (or at least how to use them).

So, Hakuba using their fathers to introduce himself is, to him, a normal enough way to say "I've heard good things about you, we're similar, I hope we can get along well."

What's more - Shinichi realises that, pretty quickly. Even if they hadn't met previously, he'd have been able to figure out by the words being used, that Saguru's father knows Heiji's father, or that they're in the same business.

If anything, I'd say that this slight culture clash is the second step of things going wrong between Hattori and Hakuba here, right after Hakuba being present at all, since Hattori had wanted Shinichi to take his rightful place where Hakuba is currently sitting.

Strike one, strike two.

Unfortunately, it gets worse from there, and I'm gonna go into it.

But then Hakuba brings up that he's not even fully based in Japan. To which, mostly Hattori is just "wait, what?" - but although I'm sure he means it simply to be as clear as possible, that could also be read as "I would say that, but I'm actually better." As in, being smug.

Strike three.

Still with "Kudo is the high school detective of the east, that's obvious, isn't it?" and rubbing salt into the insult to Hattori's bro with "they'd have liked me to represent the east in his place" but...

Oh boy.

This... this is also where I just stared and held my head in my hands because now? Because of something Hattori's said, and what he's going to continue saying/leaning into... we need to go back in time.

All the way back in Hakuba Saguru's first appearance, the papers say "just returned from London," suggesting (as I've seen someone say before) that he'd spent at least some, if not much, of his youth in Japan.

Certainly, he doesn't seem to speak with an accent in the present day, so he can't have grown up in the UK and only sometimes lived in Japan.

In Japan, however, he is referred to as...

In Nakamori's (uncouth) words at their first meeting, "Y-you're that bastard from London!"

No mention of how he has a fully Japanese name, partially Japanese features, a Japanese father, and no accent.

His introductory splash also frames him with the Union Jack behind him, showing off his Holmes cosplay and light hair. Almost all the major characters in the series have blue eyes, but here it's rather... plainly emphasising his Western features. His non-Japanese-ness.

Now, I do have to wonder if Gosho wrote that back in 1990 and hadn't given much thought to it. I certainly don't think it was intentionally cruel.

However, by volume 40, released in 2003, he's learned a bit more about social prejudice, and shows this with the Professor's First Love story:

This shows something that happened 40 years ago in-universe, with a girl of Japanese-American descent who has light, gingko colour hair, being very aware of how different she is, and not wanting her friend to see. She calls her hair "weird" and starts to cry.

Coming back to the present - content released in 2006 - let me go back to Hakuba Saguru.

Hattori "That's obvious, isn't it? And yer not even from this country to begin with."

Oh, Hattori. Only the previous case had you seeing how words can be as sharp as knives, and can hurt people.

Saguru doesn't seem too bothered at first, however...

First off, he points out that it isn't even his fault he's "taken Kudo's place" in the first place!

They contacted his housekeeper, who he's been shown to be very close with (I'd hazard a guess to say that, having not seen his mother at all, or seen her mentioned, Baaya is closer to him than his parents are), and when she heard that her charge would only be taking someone else's place since they weren't there, she got offended on his behalf.

Saguru, who loves this woman like she's literally his nanny, could hardly say no at that point.

More to the point: how he says "But it appears I am unfit to represent the East..."

So now we have Hattori having come in wanting his best friend to be represented and not sidelined just because of circumstances out of his control, and being in a bad mood immediately because of someone else having been called in. He also possibly inflates the number of cases he worked on or solved, by including childhood adventures, leading Saguru to point out that his count is only low if you only count the ones in one country. Saguru attempts to make friends with him regardless, and that doesn't work because Hattori is still stuck on how Saguru is "taking Kudo's place" and then focuses in on how Saguru "isn't even from this country" which... starts leaning into the uncomfortable territory of "Hattori I love you to pieces but are you being racist/xenophobic right now?"

I say that in the context of how Japan has a really big problem with seeing anyone who isn't fully Japanese as Not Japanese Enough, as I went into earlier. I don't think he's aware how he's coming across, by the way; he's simply got a big case of foot-in-mouth.

So now instead of having come to this conclusion organically and naturally, Saguru is offering to take the place of "Guest Participant from Overseas" to placate Hattori.

I'd imagine he won't be wanting to tell Baaya about that, for sure.

Saguru goes on to suggest that Conan (i.e, Shinichi himself) should represent the East instead.

I reiterate: they could well have come to this conclusion over a friendly conversation, because of how they have five detectives. But instead now Saguru has ceded his position to (as far as he knows) a child. A very clever child, but a child nonetheless.

The next time we're back at the island with Hattori and the others, he's already decided he doesn't like "that smug guy."

As said before, there are plenty of things that Hattori could have picked up on that'd suggest Saguru "looked down on people" and "had a prideful way of thinking" and he certainly could appear smug in his achievements.

Hattori himself says that Saguru was "was like a copy of [Kudo]." But he has decided he doesn't like Hakuba, therefore he won't like Hakuba.

A moment of Saguru bonding with Natsuki over their natural brown hair, a shared trait - we can see him smiling after saying "But... there aren't any tv cameras yet, so you could do what you want for tonight?"

In a way I feel like I'm making too much of a big deal out of this one thing, but I'm not the one bringing attention to it - Gosho is. Gosho's the one who reminds us that kids get into trouble for their natural brown hair, and Saguru got that too.

Those who've read Magic Kaito will know that he DOES have a Japanese school uniform - but as we saw at the start of the post, when he arrived, he arrived from his school in London.

This further emphasises how he's set apart from the others.

(An aside: it's entirely possible that his "school abroad" is more likely him going to sixth form, since our Secondary schools last (or did for me) up to the age of 16, and depending on the time of year he may have transferred over to the new school year already. Or he's just finishing his last year of Secondary. We don't know.)

Honestly... I'm going to leave this at that for now, because for one thing the post got away from me a bit, and became longer than I expected, and for another thing, I've covered the majority of the first meeting and both of them getting off on the wrong foot.

In short:

Hattori arrived with an idea of slipping Shinichi into the event, and was offended and upset when someone was already in his place. He, being the loyal friend he is, wasn't willing to simply let it lie.

Instead of backing down and accepting the situation and make friends with the new detective - who Shinichi knew and was acting friendly with, and who was willing to befriend him - he let his bad mood get the better of him and made offensive remarks of his own, most of which to the others would seem entirely unwarranted.

Because of that, Hattori still has a bad opinion of Saguru, and Saguru's opinion of Hattori has gone from "my father's spoken of you [positively]" to "rude asshole."

Neither of them are innocent, but when you look at them individually and fairly, neither of them are the only one in the wrong, either.

Like... no wonder they don't get along from here on? Wow.

I did not expect there to be so much in it, but there we go.

[nonesenseushi]

My first time posting. I wrote a thing and got told to share it.

The Walking Dead x Male Mute!Reader HC’s

Daryl probably didn’t trust or like you right off the bat:

• He didn’t like how quiet you were, like deadass you never made a sound, even while walking

• Doesn’t realize your mute at first and figured you just thought you were too good to talk to anyone

• Probably has beef with you because you use a bow and arrow

• He soon comes to respect you when you prove your willingness to help protect the group

• Even more so when he realizes you don’t talk because you just 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵

Rick probably trusts you right away, although he isn’t much of a fan of how you just kinda do your own thing:

• He likes that you’ll usually do what he asks(orders) - little does he know that what he tells you to do, you were already planning on doing it

• Because of your quietness, you can easily get in and out of places without being noticed - be that by walkers or people - and he 100% uses that to the group’s advantage

• Rick doesn’t like that you disappear from the group at times, even when your hunkered down somewhere; the prison for example, you’d sometimes just vanish and no one could find you

• When you come back though you usually have stuff that the group needs or wants, so they can’t be too mad

Glenn is pretty neutral towards you at first, although you somehow become pretty good friends:

• He was really unnerved from you at first, with how quiet you were and the hard RBF you got

• Because you both were quiet and quick, you often got sent on runs together and he 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘥 it

• Glenn realized you weren’t so bad when you made a joke one time on a run;

You both were in some sort of hardware store gathering supplies when Glenn bent down to grab something. A fart noised sounded in the store and with how quiet it was, Glenn heard it loud and clear.

He stood up and looked at you in embarrassment, truly believing that sound had come from him, only to stop when he saw the grin on your face and the playful glint in your eye. You repeated the noise, blowing a raspberry at him before your shoulders shook in silent laughter.

• After that you both became good friends

• He also realized that you weren’t some hardass that was constantly judging people

• Although he’s definitely caught you staring at the others when they did something questionable, definitely judging them.

• Glenn always found those moments funny, seeing the look of confusion or disbelief on your face

Carl likes you, he thinks your really cool:

• He thinks it’s really cool how you use a bow and arrow (something Daryl is totally not a little jealous of)

• Would beg you to teach him how to use it

• You would, only to grin and silently laugh when he somehow smacks himself in the face with the bow string

• You of course would apologize for laughing and properly teach him how to use it, although he can’t for the life of him draw it back at first

• Carl also thinks it’s really cool how quiet you are as he gets older

• Young Carl was definitely afraid to approach you because of your RBF

• As he gets older though he admires your stealth and will even ask how to be stealthier like you

Other characters:

Merle:

• Merle was convinced that you were lying about being mute

• He probably followed you one day while you went for a hunt or something to confront you

• You beat his ass six ways till Sunday

• He didn’t pester you after that, although Daryl tried to kick your ass for beating up his brother

Maggie:

• She probably thought you were kinda weird at first

• But she was also really curious about you

• Her and Glenn both went to you about the other, Glenn to be an absolute simp, and Maggie to see if Glenn was truly a good guy

Shane:

• Bro hated you from the start

• Because of how quiet you are, he felt like he was always being watched (he was)

• You always had this blank stare when you looked at him, it made him feel like you knew all his secrets (you did)

• You knew about him sleeping with Lori, at first you didn’t care for it but then Rick showed up and turned out to be her husband

• Shane was only a little thankful that you were mute so you couldn’t tell everyone what you knew

• He still knew that you could destroy him through, so he was very careful

• You only tortured him psychologically a 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦

• Especially after Otis died

• You had gone with them on the run and had supposedly gotten separated from them when the walkers showed up

• Shane knew better by that point though

• You seemed to know everything

Hershel:

• Just like the rest of the group, he didn’t want you on his farm

• He seemed to like you the most though because you didn’t carry a gun - at all - and you weren’t aggressive like Daryl

• It helped that you put your bow and arrows down whenever he asked for no weapons

• Overall you were just respectful towards the man and he appreciated it

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 7

edit: there is much better analysis in this follow-up post, although it does build on the stuff i wrote here

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

There were very few problems, the public killings having been good for the soldiers’ morale.

so where are the people like me in this world who would like pass out witnessing that. just too desensitized to care?

The Veretian herald was named Hendric and he had very strong arms, because banners were heavy.

Damen and Laurent were to ride alongside one another. Neither one of them had the better horse.

THEIR HORSES!! BACK TOGETHER DESPITE ALL ODDS!! because they’re definitely the same ones that fell in love during prince's gambit shut up

Damen was taller, but nothing could be done about that, Hendric had said with an impenetrable expression. Hendric, Damen was learning, had something in common with Laurent, in that it was never a simple matter to tell when he was joking.

give laurent a comedically large hammer and he’ll find a way

‘I hope the injured boy was returned to you safely.’ ‘Thank you, he returned with Paschal,’ said Laurent. For a salve? Damen opened his mouth to say, and didn’t.

throwback <3 but kings can’t have inside jokes :(

In the next moment, the horns rang out, triumphant and lonely at the same time, the pure sound absorbed by the sky and the wide open landscape around them.

“triumphant and lonely” nice detail

He remembered exactly how it had looked, and that was why he didn’t recognise it at first: the forest of broken spears was gone, and there were no gouged ruts in the earth, no men face down in the churned mud. Marlas was now a tumble of grass and wildflowers in the blowy, sweet summer weather, shifting back and forth in the gentle air. Here and there an insect droned, a drowsy sound. A dragonfly dipped and darted.

i like this :) we don’t get a lot of love for nature in this series, so i’ll take what i get. especially nice when nature represents healing and the passage of time.

Lining the hall were two dozen slaves.

oh this is going to be a headache. but it’s a headache worth having, because i’ve approached these annotations so far with integrity and fairness, and i refuse to treat this subject any differently. i don’t want to just ignore the things that are more difficult or less fun to unpack in order to get to the fun shipping stuff, i want to analyze them to the best of my ability and feel as comfortable as i possibly can moving forward.

so let’s set up some context:

1) damen has come a long way from his stance on slavery in book 1. he is actively refusing to partake in this expected custom, and finds the institution disturbing and triggering. he has developed a new appreciation for sex with truly consenting (not trained) partners, aka laurent, and can’t really go back. still, his reasons for refraining here are almost entirely based on his evolving sense of morality, not really relating to his relationship with laurent at all. for more on that moral evolution, see my analysis in chapter 4. further proof of this Really Mattering to damen is the fact that by not taking slaves, he is losing points with his own people. another great hint of his development as a king, making his own authoritative decisions rather than upholding tradition.

2) laurent does not like slavery. he does not think it is morally correct, and has made many jabs at damen throughout the series for disagreeing. he is disturbed by idea of people who have been groomed into relinquishing their own free will. if put in the situation of damen in book 1, laurent would not have been nearly as compliant or allowing—honestly, he probably would have tried to kill his master, and failing that, kill himself.

HOWEVER. vere does not do slavery. slavery had never been a relevant issue to laurent, at least until he was gifted a slave of his own and was made to deal with them in negotiations with patras. slavery is a thing other countries do, to laurent, and his current objective is make nice with a country that keeps slaves. therefore, he knows that his only real option is to keep the appearance of partaking in the custom, even if damen can get away with refusal. and i think we can safely assume that in laurent’s vere, there will be no slavery, even if he’s taking up the appearance of a slave owner now. additionally, i think we can also assume that there will be reform of the country’s pet system, which is an issue much more relevant to laurent’s lived experience.

if the stuff with laurent and slaves here was simply performative and un-indulgent, i wouldn’t need to be writing anything more here. but it is, as it is, one of the few things in the series that makes me feel very conflicted (see also: the garden scene in book 1). because while it’s true that laurent doesn’t actually use isander as a sex slave, and does have this kind of passive disdain for slavery, he does use isander in another way. he uses isander, a non-consenting brainwashed slave, as a way to make damen, who has never actually been a slave, jealous. this is an abuse of power that directly conflicts with laurent’s stated and assumed values regarding free will and individual personhood. we’ve seen things like this before, in arles, but laurent had known that damen was a prince and not a slave the entire time. but isander is a victim of this system—even if isander himself doesn’t know that, laurent damn well does. and laurent historically is someone who advocates for victims. so the fact that his morals here are being set aside in favor of a petty gesture against damen, is… disappointing. everything i said in chapter 3/4 about laurent’s mean girl era still stands: he knows he’s being shitty, and he’s doing it because he doesn’t want to be vulnerable and insecure. better to be a villain than a victim, etc. but laurent being a villain to damen, who laurent knows is perfectly capable of defending himself, is distinctly different from laurent parading out isander the slave just to hurt damen’s feelings.

it’s wrong for the obvious moral reasons, which laurent perfectly understands in the abstract. but it’s not a hill he’s going to die on here, and that’s not just because of the political advantage. this is 100% about personal shit with damen too. and sorry laurent, but slavery does not stop being wrong when it’s useful in creating drama with your ex. in fact, indulging in it for that reason specifically trivializes all of the legitimate problems with the practice. it makes laurent a hypocrite and it crosses a line, in terms of his mean girl schtick. i just want to make that clear—that there is very much a difference between laurent just being kinda cunty to damen in general, and specifically using a slave as tool in that cuntiness.

laurent is, and always has been, a morally complex and often hypocritical character. he has done things that have made me feel uncomfortable to read, like the way he treats damen in the garden scene. and that’s okay, and it doesn’t make him a bad character, or even a bad person. and to be fair, he isn’t doing any practical harm here—if he hadn’t chosen isander to kinda just vaguely flirt with in public and then leave alone in private, someone else probably would have done far worse. and that is an easy cop-out, and it’s not wrong. but still.

the problem isn’t with laurent's actions here, necessarily, but the principle. which is usually what laurent himself cares about the most, as he often values the ends above the means. politics aside, i think that laurent would readily admit post-mean girl era that the ends of making damen jealous did not, and should not, justify the means of using another human being who does not possess free will. maybe he even does that in the text, eventually, and i’ve forgotten.

(also, let’s not forget that isander may have been trained to not have his own feelings, but definitely still has them, because he’s a human being. and it probably makes him feel pretty bad to be chosen and then ignored by laurent. not that it should, because the entire thing is super fucked up, but it’s what he’s been groomed to believe. like, i did just want to throw that in somewhere, even though it’s obviously predicated on brainwashing and a lack of free will. it’s still what he’s feeling, and his feelings matter. just as much as damen’s or laurent’s.)

basically: laurent is failing to be honorable in his usage of isander, even if he’s not using isander as a sex slave as intended. his abstract values about the wrongness of slavery take a back seat to the political and interpersonal advantage of not only passively partaking in the custom, but actively using it to make damen jealous. even if laurent needs to pretend to take a slave to be politically accepted, he does not need to do All That. and honestly, with laurent’s ability to convince and command a crowd, i think we all know deep down that if he didn’t at least want to do this at least a little bit, just to piss damen off, he would find a way out of it. and that is a reality of laurent’s characterization here that i have to deal with, similar to his actions in the garden scene.

and then there’s the other thing that laurent's "performance" with isander has in common with the garden scene:

it’s hot. it’s wrong, and hypocritical, and could have been done in a way that would better suit my personal tastes, but yes, it’s hot. and on top of that, it’s also VERY funny. laurent’s performance, damen’s reactions, and isander’s obliviousness are all very, very funny. and i do want to be able to enjoy them for the petty gestures they are, and joke about them, without constantly having to throw in a “but also this is bad.” so doing this initial disclaimer feels like a happy medium to me, where i’m not ignoring the complexity of the situation entirely, but i’m also conceding that it’s not necessarily meant to be taken seriously, and it’s ultimately written for the reader to enjoy. like, don’t get me wrong, most of the slavery stuff in this series has NOT been written for the reader’s enjoyment—the values here are very clear, especially in damen’s arc—but there are still some indulgent moments. and it is fiction. and these characters aren’t perfect, nor did they create the culture of the kingdoms that they’re about to rule. and they do ultimately change the things that they, and we the reader, know are wrong.

but just like with the garden scene, i can’t quite get myself to write “so it’s totally fine to just have fun with the whole slavery thing” as a conclusion. and honestly, i feel pretty okay about that hesitancy. when i make jokes about this subject in this specific context (laurent and isander), i don’t want it to be forgotten that the subject itself (slavery) is still entirely serious. so instead, i’ll say:

this is fun because manipulative petty lamen mind games are fun. this is hot because manipulative petty lamen mind games are hot. this is somewhat intended as a backhanded insult and display of moral superiority—laurent showing damen how awful he and his culture appear to non-slave owners—but that moral superiority ultimately falls short due to laurent’s hypocritical use of a slave to make damen jealous. all of those separate pieces of analysis are true to the overall experience of reading and interpreting these scenes. it’s a mixed bag, we know it’s a mixed bag, laurent knows it’s a mixed bag, and damen knows it’s a mixed bag. the only relevant person who doesn’t know it’s a mixed bag is isander, because he’s a slave and isn’t allowed to think for himself, and that fucking sucks.

Isander was olive-skinned and lithe as a fawn, with dark hair and eyes: Akielon colouring. He shared that with Nikandros; with Damen.

yeah i’m sure that’s just a coincidence

Male, either in deference to Veretian customs, or to suit Laurent’s assumed preferences.

akielon slave owners, trying to assess laurent’s preferences:

(can you tell my heart still isn’t fully in the humor here…)

Nikandros would never offer royalty anything less than a slave’s First Night.

god, the first night thing is fucked up. in general, i love the lack of like… uh… traditionally conservative (read: christian) attitudes about sex in capri, so the few similarities especially give me the ick. i haven’t read or annotated the erasmus short story yet, but i know it’s going to piss me off too. basically, the closer we get to the handmaid’s tale, the more i want to read complicit characters dying horrifically on the page. nikandros and the other akielons are skirting by for now with the plausible deniability they have re: fully understanding how slaves are trained, but they’re on thin fucking ice.

also, lighter side question, what’s the recommended reading order for the short stories?

sweet grace of a palace slave

gag

‘I like that one,’ said Laurent.

>:(

‘Slaves are trained in the arts of pleasure, but they do not lie with another until their First Night,’ Kolnas said. ‘Here we use the same strict, classical training that is used in the royal palace. Skills are learned through instruction, and practised with indirect methods. The slave remains wholly untouched, kept pure for the first use of the Exalted.’

imagine if real-life cultural customs were built around grooming a certain group of people to be sexually submissive and modest as a thinly-veiled way to control their sexuality and ensure that they are attached to dominant societal figures from a young age without the education or free will to consider themselves actual human beings, so they can unquestioningly spend their entire lives as sex machines and domestic servants defined entirely by their responsibility to the family, and then they die and their headstone identifies them by their status as a possession of their dominant partner. wouldn’t that be fucked up

‘I never did learn how to command a bed slave,’ said Laurent. ‘Teach me.’

guys i wish i could find this hot or funny but now i’m just mad about disturbing stuff in real life that i can’t analyze out of existence. i’m taking a break and eating a chocolate strawberry greek yogurt popsicle and then i’ll try to refocus on the funny toxic gay people

‘They cannot speak Veretian, Your Highness,’ Kolnas explained. ‘In the Akielon language, using the plain form of address is appropriate. To command any act of service is to honour a slave. The more personal the service, the greater the honour.’ ‘Really? Come here,’ said Laurent.

laurent go sit in the corner.

Laurent extended the tip of his boot. ‘Kiss it,’ he said. His eyes were on Damen.

god this is so good. i hate it so much.

to be fair, there is no way to do this that would be more effective than laurent using a slave. because, y’know, damen was his “slave.” it wouldn’t hit the same with some random non-slave guy. laurent wants to fuck with damen’s head, and part of that is making him miss something he most certainly should not be missing. laurent is also fucking with my head, because this gesture is so conflictingly wrong and compelling, a word which in this case means "something i’m embarrassed/ashamed to say that i find hot."

‘Good boy,’ said Laurent, reaching down to pet Isander’s dark curls, while Isander’s eyes closed and he flushed over.

(easy joke to make, but we’re all probably thinking it) damen:

(also, this being the only “good boy” in the entire series is just diabolical. but i get why it is, because i think it might not be the only one—and if it isn’t the only one, that means the regent says it at some point, and that’s exactly why it’s never used in a lamen sex scene.)

Kolnas preened, pleased that his selection was appreciated. Damen could see that the fort’s household around them was also pleased, having gone to great lengths to make Laurent feel welcome. They had considered with intense thoughtfulness Veretian culture and Veretian practices.

i sense some slight snarkiness here—not even from damen, but from the narrative itself. there’s palpable irony in the “great lengths” and “thoughtfulness” of akielions considering veretian culture while presenting laurent with slaves, all while veretian culture doesn’t have slavery.

It was pointless. There were two dozen slaves here, while the number of times Laurent had had sex in his life could probably be counted on one hand. Laurent was just going to be dragging twenty-four young men back to his rooms to sit around doing nothing. They wouldn’t even be able to unlace Veretian clothing.

according to damen:

this is stupid.

laurent is, in all ways but physical, a loser virgin.

he’s going to set out board games for those sex slaves. he’s going to throw them a pizza party. he’s going to answer emails the entire time.

they don’t even know how to unlace laurent’s clothing like i do.

this is stupid.

‘Can he also serve me in the baths?’ said Laurent.

CUNT.

‘And at the feast for the bannermen this evening when they give their pledge, if that pleases you, Your Highness,’ said Kolnas. ‘It pleases me,’ said Laurent.

damen is about to throw up on the floor

Cloth wound around his waist and over his shoulder, the sort of ceremonial Akielon garb that you could unreel from a person by taking hold of one end and pulling while they rotated.

looney toons-ass imagery

He could feel their discomfort, their need to debase themselves; this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves.

thank you damen for being the only normal person here. you've come a long way.

“discomfort, their need to debase themselves” is something book 1 damen would have found adorable and charming. he definitely wouldn’t have worded it like this, back then.

“this sort of proximity to royalty permitted only the extreme submissiveness of slaves” building on the damen vs. kingship theme, he thinks he can’t have real love or intimacy or vulnerability if he’s a king. he can’t truly be paired with an equal, because he needs to be exalted.

He had sent away the slaves.

damen you’re the only one i’m not at mad at in this chapter. actually i liked the funny banner guy, we’re chill too. and isander is just trying his best

Laurent, he knew, was rooming in the adjoining suite, separated from him by a single wall. Damen was in the King’s chambers, which any lord who built a fort installed, in the hope the King would stop there. But even the former lord of Marlas’s optimism had not stretched to the idea that the heads of two royal families would visit simultaneously. To preserve their arrangements of scrupulous equality, Laurent was in the Queen’s chambers, beyond that wall.

i’m getting so much whiplash from this chapter like yeah this is funny and cute but also is the slavery stuff just normal to people like i’m aware the series started from a specific subculture and kink and body of literary work, so i guess i’m the weird one and the outsider here for being so distracted??

Isander was probably tending him, gamely doing his best with the laces. He would have to unhook the lacings on the back of the neck of Laurent’s riding leathers before drawing them through their eyelets. Or Laurent had taken Isander into the baths, to be undressed by him there. Isander would be flushed with pride at being chosen for the task. Attend me. Damen felt his hands curl into fists.

i don’t think i need to point out in a note, every single time, that damen being jealous of isander is funny and his possessiveness of laurent is hot. but i will still highlight the passages where it happens.

He turned his mind to political matters.

good call buddy, you and i are going to get through this chapter together

Men and women reclined on couches

(said apprehensively, given the overall themes of this chapter) ...women?

Makedon leaned, selecting a slice of peeled orange. Pallas, the handsome officer-champion, reclined with the easy posture that spoke to his aristocratic blood. Straton had hitched his skirts up and drawn his legs onto the couch, crossing them at the ankles. Everyone whom rank or office entitled to be here was assembled, and with every northerner of standing gathered to give their pledge, the hall was packed full. The Veretians present were mostly vertical, standing awkwardly in small groups, one or two perched gingerly on the edge of a seat.

There was no trumpet flourish or herald’s announcement, as there would have been in Vere.

okay i didn’t realize there was a trumpet flourish in vere. that is very funny in retrospect. a trumpet is not the instrument i’d choose to announce laurent’s arrival. in arles especially, i personally think that a halloween sfx cd would have been much more appropriate

Laurent didn’t rise. He wasn’t required to. He just watched from his reclining couch, as the hall prostrated itself. He had cultivated an elegant sprawl, with his arm draped over his couch back, and his leg drawn up, revealing the arc of an exquisitely clad thigh. His fingers dangled. Silk rucked around his knee.

laurent lean #14. kings leaning.

Isander was prostrated, an inch from Laurent’s casually draped fingertips, his lithe body bare. He wore a brief garment like a Vaskian man’s cloth. His collar fit him like a second skin. Laurent sat relaxed, every line of his body arranged tastefully against the couch. Damen made himself stroll forward through the silence. Their twin couches were next to each other. ‘Brother,’ Laurent said, pleasantly.

no comment

The eyes of everyone in the hall were on him. He felt their gazes, their underfed curiosity. He heard the murmurs—it really is him, Damianos, alive and here—accompanied by the brazen looks, looking at him, looking at the gold cuff on his wrist, looking at Laurent in his Veretian clothes like an exotic ornament—so that is the Veretian Prince. And beneath that the speculation that was never spoken aloud.

at least one akielon politics rpf truther is losing their mind rn. we have gaylor, this world has gaymianos

Laurent was scrupulously correct in the face of it, his behaviour immaculate, even his use of the slave was an act of unimpeachable etiquette. In Akielos it pleased the host for a guest to make use of his hospitality. And it pleased the Akielon people for their royal family to take slaves, a sign of virility and power, and a cause of great pride.

narrows my eyes

Barieus stepped forward. ‘I want assurances that Vere does not hold undue influence over Akielos.’ Undue influence. ‘Speak plainly.’ ‘They say the Prince of Vere is your lover.’

found the gaymianos truther

‘Who we take to our bed is not your concern.’

well i mean if you’re using the royal “we” to represent the kingdom, then yeah… it kinda is?

‘Shall I tell them what really happened between us? They want to know,’ Laurent said. Laurent began to unlace the cuff of his sleeve, drawing the ties through the eyelets, then opening the fabric to expose the fine underside of his wrist—and then the unmistakable gold of the slave cuff.

Laurent leaned his wrist elegantly on the curved arm of the couch, the open sleeve reminiscent of a delicate open shirt collar, its laces trailing. ‘Do I have the question clear?’ said Laurent, speaking in Akielon. ‘You are asking if I lay with the man who killed my own brother?’ Laurent wore the slave cuff with utter disregard. He had no owner, the aristocratic arrogance of his posture said that. Laurent had always possessed an essential quality of the untouchable. He cultivated a faultless grace on the reclining couch, his chiselled profile and marble-chip eyes those of a statue. The idea that he would let anyone fuck him was impossible.

and damen is so into it. love love love the contrast with the description of slaves in this chapter. damen doesn’t want them, he wants laurent. he sees laurent as a complete and compelling person. there is honor in laurent’s performative submission—wearing the cuff—because damen respects laurent’s personhood. but he’s no longer able to see the submission of slaves as honorable, because he knows they’re fucking slaves who have been robbed of their personhood entirely.

Barieus said, ‘A man would have to be ice-cold to sleep with his brother’s killer.’ ‘Then you have your answer,’ said Laurent. There was a silence, in which Laurent’s gaze held that of Barieus. ‘Yes, Exalted.’ Barieus bowed his head, and unconsciously used the Akielon Exalted, rather than the Veretian titles Highness or Majesty.

a vine boom echoed through the court

‘Well, Barieus?’ said Damen. Barieus knelt two steps before the dais. ‘I will pledge. I see that the Prince of Vere stands with you. It’s right that we swear to you here, on the site of your greatest victory.’

“he is simply too cunty for us to deny his authority.”

Slaves brought the food. Squires served Damen, since he had made his preferences clear. It was an awkward arrangement that displeased everyone in the hall.

YES DAMEN!

Isander was utterly in love with his master. He strove continuously to do well, selecting each delicacy for Laurent to sample, bringing him only the best, in small, shallow dishes, refreshing the water bowl for Laurent to clean his fingers. He did it all with perfect form, discreetly attentive, and never drawing attention to himself. His eyelashes drew attention to themselves. Damen made himself look elsewhere.

but that’s not real love, and damen knows it. laurent knows it too. and damen did it way better in nesson-elroy

Laurent said, ‘Play The Fall of Inachtos,’ and a murmur of approval passed over the hall. Kolnas, the Keeper of Slaves, congratulated Laurent on his knowledge of Akielon epics. ‘It’s one of your favourites, isn’t it?’ said Laurent, transferring his gaze to Damen.

diabolical. need this energy for the lamen divorce playlists (they each have their own)

He had always liked the depiction of Akielons cutting down their enemies, as Nisos rode out to kill Inachtos, and take his walled city. He didn’t want to hear it now.

yayyy character development

It was Loyse and not Guion that Jord was approaching. She gave him a cursory look. ‘Yes?’ There was an awkward pause. ‘I just wanted to say . . . that I’m sorry for your loss. Your son was a good fighter.’ ‘Thank you, soldier.’ She gave him the token attention a lady might give to any servant, and turned back to her conversation with her husband.

loyse hiiiiiii loyse (said with appropriate sadness for her current state of grief)

Jord gazed at him for a long moment, then indicated Laurent with his chin. ‘I’m glad you two are friends,’ said Jord.

jord always knows exactly when to show up and make ill-timed commentary on damen and laurent's relationship

‘I thought when he found out about you, he’d swear revenge,’ said Jord. ‘He knew all along,’ said Damen. ‘It’s good that you could trust each other,’ said Jord. And then: ‘I think before you came, he didn’t really trust anyone.’ Damen said, ‘He didn’t.’

also isn’t it like SUPER awkward for jord to be around guion and loyse right now

Isander was bringing Laurent a sprig of grapes in a small dish. Laurent said something approving, and gestured for Isander to join him on the reclining couch. Isander glowed, shyly besotted. As Damen watched, Isander picked a single grape from the sprig, and lifted it to Laurent’s lips. Laurent leaned in. He twined a finger around a curl of Isander’s hair and allowed himself to be fed, grape by grape, a prince with a new favourite.

damen is about to start scratching the walls like a cat confronted with a closed door

He lifted the wine blindly. The cup was empty. Straton wasn’t the only Akielon departing with a slave; men and women throughout the hall were availing themselves. The wine, and the slaves enacting the battle were breaking down inhibitions. Akielon voices grew loud, emboldened by wine.

between the heavy drinking and sex practices, the akielon court actually sounds like my living hell. and we haven’t even gotten to the naked sports chapter yet

Laurent leaned in further to murmur something intimately into Isander’s ear, and then, as the recitation reached its climax, the clash of swords like the hammering in his chest, Damen saw Laurent tap Isander’s shoulder, and rise. I’d wager you never thought a prince could be jealous of a slave. At this moment I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat. Torveld’s words. He said, ‘Excuse me.’

The entire court around him rose as he pushed up from his couch-throne.

“couch-throne”

Trying to follow Laurent out, he got tangled in ceremony, the hall a stifling press of bodies and noise, and, as a blond head disappeared towards the doorway, he was stopped by party after party blocking his path.

okay i’m so curious what he’s meaning to do when he catches up to laurent. yell at him? yell at isander? throw up?

He ought to have brought a slave of his own, then the crowd would have melted away, understanding: the King wished privacy.

i am begging the protagonists of this book to stop using human people as objects. again maybe that’s just a me problem, this isn’t my usual genre and the akielon slavery system clearly doesn’t align with my kink sensibilities, but COME ON

The corridor was empty when he strode out into it. His heart was pounding. He turned the first corner into a section of the passage, half expecting to catch Laurent’s retreating figure. Instead, he saw a stark, empty arch with all its Veretian lattice stripped away. Under the arch was Isander, standing with his fawn eyes, looking confused and abandoned. His confusion was such that for a moment he just stared at Damen with wide eyes before he seemed to understand what was happening, and folded to the floor, forehead to the stone. Damen said, ‘Where is he?’ Isander was well trained, even if nothing was happening as he had expected tonight; and even if, rather mortifyingly, he was being asked to report this fact to his King. ‘His Highness of Vere has gone for a ride.’

well at least if “going on a ride” is laurent code for “feeling morally and emotionally troubled,” that’s… less disappointing, i guess.

also, i do realize that this is the place where laurent’s brother was killed, currently taken over by the nation that orchestrated and benefitted from his death. so there’s probably a twisted vindication in learning exactly how fucked up their culture is (asking about the first night, etc), and getting whatever kind of enjoyment out of the whole situation he can (pissing off damen). but there still had to be a crash, and as soon as laurent was excused from his duties he dipped to deal with it alone.

‘At the stables a handler might know his destination. This slave can inquire.’

i caaaaaan’t stand the way they’re denied use of personal pronouns

Closer; the approach was difficult because it was sharp with memory. Here was the place where their left flank had fallen. Here was the place where he had ordered men to attack the lines that would not fall, the starburst banner that did not falter. Here was the place where he had killed the last of the Prince’s Guard, and come face to face with Auguste. He dismounted from his horse, looping its reins over the cracked stone column of an overgrown pillar. The landscape was old, and the pieces of stone were old; and he remembered this place, remembered the torn soil and the desperation of the fight. Clearing a last jut of stone, he saw the curve of a shoulder in the moonlight, the white of a loose shirt, his outer garments stripped, all wrists and exposed throat. Laurent was sitting on a stone outcrop. His jacket was discarded uncharacteristically. He was sitting on it.

this is a beautifully set scene.

A stone slid under his heel. Laurent turned. For a moment, Laurent looked at him wide-eyed, young, and then the look in his eyes changed, as though the universe had fulfilled an ineluctable promise. ‘Oh,’ he said, ‘perfect.’

a moment of surprise and vulnerability, and then practiced cool again. onto Some More Bullshit, i guess

this isn’t the chapter to really tackle this, but i will eventually write a long essay about how laurent goes through his own mini character growth arc, completely off the page, during the lamen divorce era. it’s just that damen has custody of the reader, so we don’t get to see it—only hints, like this moment here. laurent must have had a lot on his mind, too, ever since their last heated conversation. i have some ideas about what that “a lot” might be, but again, i don’t think i’ve gotten quite enough from laurent yet to really start forming a conclusion.

Damen said, ‘I thought you might want—’ ‘Want?’ ‘A friend,’ said Damen. He used Jord’s word. His chest felt tight. ‘If you’d prefer me to leave, I will.’ ‘Why cavil?’ said Laurent. ‘Let’s fuck.’

ON YOUR BROTHER’S FIGURATIVE GRAVE WITH HIS MURDERER????

‘That isn’t what I meant.’ ‘It might not be what you meant, but it’s what you want.’ Laurent said, ‘You want to fuck me.’ Anyone else would have been drunk. Laurent was dangerously sober.

yeah, no, he’s definitely being going through Some Shit on his own. lots of self-loathing, especially due to the fact that he can’t hate damen as much as he knows he should. yearning, more self-loathing because of that yearning. companionship withdrawals, a return to isolation. a revived sense of grief for his brother, and nicaise, and damen (not damianos) and even his relationship with his uncle, who he hadn’t thought would be capable of trying to kill him. hating himself and blaming himself and regretting things he’s done to push people away. just an all-around bad time, but a necessary time of reflection that he needs to experience on his own. damen can’t just swoop in and fix laurent, laurent has to decide that he’s worth saving first. he’s not there yet, clearly, assuming that damen only wants him as a sexual object. whiiiiich was probably why he went so hard on the eroticism with isander easlier, it was an easy victory to get damen hot and bothered. a game he could win, among the many other games he knows he’s losing—especially the ones against himself.

i’ll put together something more coherent before the divorce era ends. tbh, i kinda think this scene should have been a separate chapter, because there is some pretty massive whiplash here. although maybe not, maybe the buildup of emotional and sexual tension was the point. yeah, it was. the slavery stuff just made it more frustrating to read. never mind.

‘You’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. Since Nesson.’ He knew this mood. He should have expected it. He made himself say the words. ‘I came because I thought you might want to talk.’ ‘Not particularly.’

it almost sounds like laurent played himself, for the millionth time, by getting himself worked up with isander when he just really wanted damen

He said, ‘About your brother.’ ‘I never fucked my brother,’ said Laurent, with a strange edge to the words. ‘That is incest.’ They were standing in the place where his brother had died. With a disorientating sensation Damen realised they weren’t going to talk about that. They were going to talk about this.

"yes, honey..."

‘You’re right,’ said Damen. ‘I’ve been thinking about it since Ravenel. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.’ ‘Why?’ said Laurent. ‘Was I that good?’ ‘No. You fucked like a virgin,’ said Damen,

deserved

‘half the time. The rest of the time—’ ‘Like I knew what to do?’ ‘Like you knew what you were used to.’ He saw the words impact. Laurent swayed, like he’d been dealt a blow. Laurent said, ‘I’m not certain I can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment.’

oh well this is particularly horrifying with [redacted] context. also i think the quote “i’m not certain i can take your particular brand of honesty just at the moment” says A LOT about how laurent has always viewed damen, for better or for worse. laurent can count on damen to tell him what he needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. so it makes sense that he’s been avoiding damen lately, because laurent is going through his own crisis of personal reflection

Damen said, ‘I don’t prefer sophistication in bed, if you were wondering.’ ‘That’s right,’ said Laurent. ‘You like it simple.’ All the breath left his throat. He stood, stripped, unready for it. Will you use even that against me? he wanted to say, and didn’t. Laurent’s breathing was shallow too, holding his ground.

is “that” just laurent making fun of the way damen is earnest in bed? seems like an overreaction from damen if that's the case, so it’s probably something else i’m missing. maybe laurent is accusing damen of keeping the secret of his identity, even when they fucked, to make things simpler between them? that would support my previous theory that laurent is convinced that damen wouldn’t want him how he really is, as damen really is, with all the complications between them. or it’s a dig about auguste somehow, and i just can’t figure out how it connects.

‘He died well,’ Damen made himself say. ‘He fought better than any man I’ve known. It was a fair fight, and he felt no pain. The end was quick.’

like i said—what laurent needs to hear, not what he wants to hear. even if damen thinks that it’s going to make laurent hate him more, he still has the integrity to say it.

‘You sent your men out to look for me too?’ said Laurent, his mouth twisting. ‘No,’ said Damen, and pushed Laurent hard out of sight, into the shelter of one of the huge, crumbling blocks of stone. In the next second, the troop was on them, at least two hundred men, so that the air was thick with the passage of horses. Damen pressed Laurent firmly into the rock, and held him in place with his body. The riders didn’t slow, even on this uncertain ground in the dark, and any man in their path would be trampled, tumbled, kicked from hoof to hoof. Discovery was a real threat, the rock cool under his palms, the dark shuddering with the pounding of hooves and heavy lethal horseflesh. He could feel Laurent against him, the barely contained tension, adrenalin mixed with his dislike of the proximity, the urge in him to prise himself out and away, stifled by necessity.

throwback <3 i think this is very intentionally placed in this conversation, as a reminder that they are the same people they were in prince’s gambit

‘I know you’re not cold,’ said Damen. ‘You weren’t cold when you ordered me tied to the post. You weren’t cold when you pushed me down on your bed.’

more true things laurent does not want to hear right now! also i like the use of warmth, as the opposite of cold, to signify both vengeful rage and romantic/sexual passion. two sides of the same coin

‘A fair fight?’ said Laurent, turning back to him. ‘No fight’s ever fair. Someone’s always stronger.’

rewinding to their previous argument. aren’t they both tired? i’m tired.

[pamela-lntt]

Here's a compilation of more Peachyville designs I forgot to share (+ some thoughts about them)...

This is like... really long, so feel free to skip, and I'm so sorry I tend to write a lot when explaining stuff...

Here's an index of what you'll find:

Blake Lively + Marbles

Original Trudy

Trout Family (Tucker, Timmy, Lil Tuck, and Tiffany)

The Farnsworths (minus Francis)

the new member of The Guttural Scream !

so... tried to make Blake's signature color Orange, but the color got lost with his skin tone and hair, so I had to add another color to help balance that... I made a new outfit for him too and there I managed to make the Orange more prominent... but I'll share that one after ep 23 because I need to know if I can design a new outfit for Francis or not (PLS PLS PLS BE YES)

---

the original Trudy !!

I listened to Labour by Paris Paloma on loop while I was planning and researching her design lol and this one is responsible for a google doc I made where I tried my best to make a timeline pre-peachyville events just so I could figure out which 1900s decade her clothes should be based off of (late 1940s, early 1950s btw)

I imagine her being completely opposite to our Trudy clothing wise, but still maintaining her signature color, Pink! She is also engulfed in Tucker's signature color, Aqua, to symbolize the hold he has on her... speaking of Tucker...

---

the Trouts !

this might be a long one, I'm sorry in advance...

so... first of all, I know in the ep 13 episode art Tucker and the robot kids are shown as being poc, but I completely forgot about that, and I designed them like you see now... I hesitated sharing the designs because of that and maybe evaluating changing them. Then ep 16 came out and in the episode art Tucker isn't a poc anymore so I said fck it I'm keeping the designs especially because I loved them.

Ok, with that out of the way, let me explain my thought process.

Tucker, and consequentially Lil Tuck and Tiffany's, signature color is Aqua because that color is very science-y to me. I also made the three of them really pale because 1) basement and 2) robot vibes.

Design wise, Lil Tuck and Tiffany are almost exact copies of Tucker and each other to hint at the fact they're robots and add a sense of uncanniness to them. Timmy, being the actual human child, is the complete opposite and has much more prominently not just Trudy's signature color (but darker to symbolize his detachment from her) but also her features like her skin tone, hair color, and nose. (I'm a sucker for angst, so imagining the ep 13 scene where Timmy rejects our Trudy while looking a lot like her was an image too enticing to ignore).

---

the bad parents award goes to...

(If I wrote Francis' mom name wrong pls pls pls let me know I used the dndads wiki as a guide for it, but idk how to confirm it's accurate)

these two are the latest characters i've designed !

for their facial features, I just recreated Francis in Sims 4 and then used the DNA feature to make his parents and boom !! my reference is born...

So, to me, Francis signature color is Red because of all the macho man violence influence things, and it felt very fitting to add that color to his parents too ! Although, I made them very purple-y as well and here is my epic reveal...

Any Peachyville character I design that has Purple as a prominent color is part of the Bisons and/or Project Heartland. (Tucker has a lot of purple on him too, if you look back... including his glasses)

And anyone with purple as a subtle color in their design is connected or has been affected by those groups

oh also I know the Spiral mark is supposed to be on Kamonwan's hand, but uuh I vetoed that because I wanted her to be able to hide it, and it felt weird giving her gloves so now it's under her sleeve jaja (and Ed's is on his chest ofc)

---

That is all ! If you're reading this, wow... thanks for taking the time to read all that! Here's an extra color thing for ya:

in my head, Zhouzel's representative color is a purple-pink, close to magenta but not that bright. Like this:

(ooh unpublished drawing... it's one of my two submissions for the dndads pride zine, but shh don't tell anyone)

And that inspired the whole Bison - Project Heartland purple theme (and a fun thing with Kelsey's eyes that I won't get into right now)

Anyway... thanks for indulging me! I hope I can draw more Peachyville characters (like Kelsey's siblings, Ross and John; Brian the Librarian; Big Shane Silva... idk ! we'll see what happens) and share them here too (just not with as much text lmao)

Like my art? Consider buying me a coffee (kofi) !

Like these sketches? Get one for yourself (commissions) !

[knaveumineko]

Umineko Episode 4 Blog: Message in a Bottle

Ramblings about the big picture mystery stuff.

The aspect of the killings that remains ever-illusive is the motive. Episode 1 was such a barrage of confusing happenings that anyone who reads it will naturally be thinking, "What on Earth just happened?" You can tell that Umineko wants you to engage with it this way because of how it writes Battler. His emotions and growth generally reflect that of the reader themselves, although, naturally, he's pretty slow on the uptake so that we have a chance to think about it ourselves. However, once you get far enough in, you realise that just constructing a series of events that could have happened isn't good enough to "solve" the story. If your explanation requires people to act against their nature inexplicably, or you don't really have an explanation for why someone did something beyond the fact that they must have for the set-up to make sense, then your explanation won't be satisfying.

In Episode 4, this is keenly felt. The murders are mostly trivial to explain away since we have so much freedom to construct a sequence of events. We don't even know if anyone besides George was dead by the time Battler left the guesthouse. However, the phone calls require everyone involved to be lying to Battler, including Krauss, Kyrie, and Jessica. Why did they do this? Under duress? If they knew they were getting killed anyway, I could see Krauss going along with it just to keep his daughter alive. Kyrie has more mixed feelings toward Battler, but I could see it. Jessica feels really weird to me. No one is left to hold hostage for her if we take things at face value. I kind of feel like, even under duress, Jessica would fess up just to ruin the killer's plans at that point.

Episode 4 ends by highlighting the motive more keenly than ever. It was confirmed in red that the killings happen because of something Battler did 6 years ago, which he's failed to remember (sounds like the Sayo promise from Episode 3 might have been it after all. Otherwise, I can't think of anything that's been mentioned.)

What sort of person is "Beatrice"? We know that she secretly met with Maria and taught her about magic, and that she wrote those 2 (or more) message bottles which in some sense predicted the murders. Based on all of the talk about risk, it seems likely that she wrote a lot of these stories, and the two we've heard about explicitly are the ones that happened to make it to shore. Battler has that line about how he won't be able to understand the killer as long as he keeps thinking of them as just a greedy human. The initial letter always claims that solving the epitaph is somehow important, but in Episode 3 everyone and their mother was solving the epitaph and there was still someone besides Eva killing people. She seems to genuinely want people to solve her murder mysteries, considering she ended the first one by telling the reader to find the truth.

I wonder to what extent the fantasy Beatrice is accurate to what the real "Beatrice" is like. It seems like Ange's character arc is probably meant to answer this, given it ends with her committing her own murder spree with "magic".

Here's a crazy theory. I've been thinking a lot about Kanon. He doesn't make a whole lot of sense, does he? Dying and coming back, always vital to the killer's plots, but he doesn't get nearly the backstory that Sayo does. Plus, the fourth wall break with Shannon and Kanon sort of implies that the two of them are fictional characters on the same level as the demons. The end of Episode 4 is pretty clearly telling me that I should be thinking about Kanon, seeing as his body went missing again. It's hard to imagine that Kanon was on-board with a plan where Shannon commits suicide, and then, what, he just wanders off into the woods and does it too? Or Shannon kills him and hides the body so he won't mess up her scene? It's weird.

Back in chapter 1, I called Kinzo being dead by thinking about the set-up of the whole story being written by the killer, and considering what kind of twists such a framing would be designed to support. An obvious idea was that it would allow the author to mislead the reader with a character who doesn't really exist, but there was also a possibility I briefly thought of, but dismissed, when I was thinking about EVA's red truths at the end of Episode 3: the checkmate wouldn't work if two characters were the same person.

What really got me going down this rabbit hole was Beatrice's "at most 17 people were on Rokkenjima" Red Truth. It's possible that it's a double bluff and I'd kind of love if Ryukishi just made fun of me for assuming that there'd turn out to be 16, but it seems like I'm supposed to at least think about it. Kanon's the obvious suspect for a trick like this, since he's the only one Battler has never met previously, but Battler has seen everyone but Kinzo at least once, so there can't be another completely fake person. The only thing left is to cross-reference everyone and see if there are pairs of people Battler has never seen simultaneously.

It took a while, but after going back over the openings of the first 4 episodes, it seems that Shannon and Kanon are never once seen in the same place at the same time, except in third person scenes where they're surrounded by accomplices. Circumstantially, Beatrice says 5 people can be spared by the game, so it's odd that there are supposedly 6 survivors of Episode 1, two of whom are Kanon and Shannon. There's some weirdness regarding how Kanon keeps getting described as hard to notice. In the chapel scene in Episode 2, Shannon just kind of vanishes in-between the bodies being discovered and Battler showing up. We're told she's helping Kinzo write his will, which pretty clearly wasn't true at this point. In the Episode 3 locked room chain, the rooms are set up so that Shannon's has to be entered first, and Kanon's last, so Shannon could, in theory, just move while everyone is upstairs. She has a master key, after all.

It definitely seems like the sort of twist this game would do. The biggest problem is that it would require George and Jessica to be the stupidest people alive, which actually isn't that big a problem, honestly.

I've been pretty busy lately, but I'm still thinking about Umineko and I'm excited to read the Answer Arcs. I'll do one more post discussing the murder mystery stuff from 4, and then maybe a post or two in between the arcs just for fun, before I move on.

[merge-conflict]

20 Questions: Writing Edition

tagged by @ghostoffuturespast and tagging @lemonlilactea and @clockworkvenus (no pressure!) and anyone else who happens to be reading and wants to play :3

How many works do you have on ao3?

20! Which feels sort of insane. It feels like I've both written much less and a lot more.

What's your total ao3 word count?

155,384 which feels absurdly low. 285,984 is the word count in one (1) of my Scrivener projects so there's a lot which is not making it to the end of the pipeline.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

no promises

the damn things overlap

An Exchange

everything where it belongs

come back wrong

What fandom do you write for?

Mostly Cyberpunk although in the previous question you can see that I've gotten more attention in various other video game fandoms I've written for (fe3h/pathologic 2/Prey (2017)). I've also written plenty of fics that have never seen the light of day for Outer Worlds and Dragon Age 2 and a little bit of BG3.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Unless the comment is weird. Sometimes it takes me a while because time isn't real, but I always appreciate someone taking the time to actually leave one of any length because I know how much effort it takes. As a long-time lurker I know it's tough to make that jump from reading something to interacting with the creator. It's always nice to feel like I'm not just chucking my passion project into the void and I hope folks aren't too disappointed if it takes me a while to work up the courage to reply. Sometimes I like to keep things in my inbox for a while so I can enjoy them. :3

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hard to pick between you and me and the devil makes three but that one is so short it doesn't feel as much as a punch to me as a pair of open graves. Even though Valentine is being cared for by the people who love her most, it's extremely hard to think about the fact she's slowly losing her mind and doesn't want to admit it, and the fact that she was actively concealing the fact from Goro and to some extent herself. Something about her surviving everything and having a few good years and then declining quickly because of the damage from the Relic while Johnny himself is doing fine... T-T I'm fine, actually.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

everything where it belongs is 100% feel good smut and I guess has a few happy endings. not a lot of competition with all the cyberpunk fics though lol

Do you get hate on fics?

I've gotten a few odd comments which are sort of back-handed, but not too bad and I like to assume good intentions. By far the worst is when someone reblogs my writing on tumblr and misgenders a character. Makes me yearn to pack it in and move back into the woods.

Do you write smut?

Oh you betcha. If I want the dynamics that really get me going, especially with a nonbinary and/or trans character I gotta write it myself. Dutifully contributing my work to the sparse "Other" category on ao3 like a good soldier.

Do you write crossovers?

I haven't recently but I have in the past, mostly in my youth. It's hard to stitch two disparate worlds together, at least with the stuff that I like. I did semi-recently think about Viago Dragon Age in the cyberpunk universe. I think he'd love having access to spreadsheet software and industrial grade stimulants.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I mean probably scraped from ao3, but whatever. Once you put something on the internet you never know where it'll end up and I'm at peace with that. Nobody is getting any more recognition off my work than I am lol.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! Think that'd be pretty neat though.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! I've written a fic with @slayerdurge with our V's, which was a blast. In the distant past (i.e. middle school) I've also written a fair number of fics with my friends which can be chaotic but also fun.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I'm not really a person with all-time favorites, things come and go with different strengths. After having spent some time writing a lot of datv fic for my own gratification and having fun with a friend, I will say I'm really glad to get back to Valentine/Goro. dog4dog 4ever.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of them. I have so many! My one hope is that I can finish at least the damn things overlap even if I never get fully around to writing all the other stuff I'd like to write.

What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I can keep a story moving, and by far my favorite step of writing is editing. Taking a wild thorny draft and slicing and cutting and rearranging until it's tight and has good mouthfeel. I do also think I do a good job of keeping canonical characters in character, or at least once I've had some time with them, making their changes make sense according to what's happened to them and the context they're in.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Plotting, organizing, executive function. I struggle to write things linearly, I've never written an outline I didn't wildly deviate from once I actually got down to it, and I can't tell you the number of times I've done some skimming over early chapters to make sure I've kept things consistent only to find I'm trying to do something I already did and take it out. Writing with ADHD can be frustrating and sometimes I'm at peace with it and sometimes (lately) it makes me want to wail and gnash my teeth– why doesn't my brain just work? Why can't I fucking remember?? Why do I remember feeling the warm glow of an idea and not the idea itself? It's gone forever!

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I generally avoid it, because I don't have the skill or resources to write dialogue in other languages naturally. If the POV character knows the language I will just write the gist of what is said in another language in English and note what language they're speaking (if relevant) and if the POV character doesn't know, then they just note someone is talking in another language along with what they do notice about tone & volume and similar. I feel like often the best I can do is try to make a bit of the underlying language come through in the English translation but if I can't do that then I can at least get out of the way and not bungle the original language.

Favorite fic you've ever written?

My darling thread-safe. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's probably some of my best writing, it's a punch to the gut, and yet I still couldn't resist putting a bit of hope into it. It's got Valentine and Goro on opposite sides, and yet still stupidly in love and clinging to each other. It's got all of Valentine's fractured pieces, including Johnny. It's about everyone finally having to face the options in front of them and wishing they could go back and do things differently, but they just have to keep moving forward. It's about Johnny's loved ones helping him stay free, and Valentine's loved ones making her prison tolerable. Agh!

[td-brick]

I talked about this a while ago (I think) but it annoys me when people use the stupid "well if the roles were revered/if Sierra was a guy you wouldn't defend her" strawman when talking about Sierra and her relationship to Cody as if Sierra as a character would even exist if she was a guy. Her writing and how she acts is entirely driven by misogyny and the people who wrote her seeing women as more neurotic or whatever than men. And this document (which is really good and you should read) goes more in depth about how a lot of her writing and her being depicted as eager/perverted is racist as well but. yeah. And you can recognize this about her without "defending" her or whatever. Yeah she was creepy and weird but MANY other characters in td are and they don't have nearly as much discourse surrounding them as she does.

Anyways I digress... going off my first point I feel like people forget how much misogyny (and racism in sierra's case, what with her being a woc) affects how characters are perceived and written in things. Sierra's character would not be what it was if she was a white guy. You can write flawed female characters who might have traits similar to sierra without being misogynistic and its actually bad if all your female characters are 100% perfect angels because that's misogynistic in its own right. but like there are still stereotypes you have to be aware of and if someone is misogynistic and writing a female character their misogyny will show through in her writing, like sierra. Watching world tour/all stars it feels like they're not giving her any of her own charm or positive traits, it's only attached to other characters (namely cody) and when she exists on her own (barely) she's just doing stuff to make you hate her.

And in and of itself the fact that her character is literally ONLY attached to cody (or cameron in all stars) is misogynistic. She is clearly a really strong person on her own, especially in total drama. like physically she's super strong and agile, she has a good understanding of the contestants already because of watching TWO seasons of the show many times and she probably knows a lot about how the game itself works, etc. Clearly she's also good at finding information about people so she would probably know how to use certain contestants traits to her own gain (to form alliances and otherwise). But for some reason they never really elaborate on that and especially in world tour just attach her at the hip to a random guy who she drags super far through the competition without ever getting any character development of her own and its so UGHHH. And I wouldn't even have a problem with her being a huge fan of Cody in specific (although I do wish they would focus on her being a td superfan as a whole more) if they just handled it better. which they don't. and the shit with Cameron in all stars is just dumb as fuck I'm sorry I don't think I even need to elaborate on that

[accirax]

If Eden actually is the killer, please just imagine very intense and violent hand gestures made towards David. What is he doing!!! First he wants to push people towards murder, then he wants to carry on "Xander's mission" by incorrectly voting the blackened, now he wants to make Teruko more distrustful by potentially actually pinpointing the blackened! He is flipping around more than a fish desperate for water and I am just sat with my head in my hands.

haha, you sound like someone who might get along with xandermatthews2290 based on what they said here (assuming you aren't just xandermatthews2290 themself in an anon disguise).

i honestly really need to get cooking on that theory ask about what the hell David is up to in this chapter, but since it's not as time sensitive as murder stuff (probably), i've been strategically delaying it. then again, maybe i'm making things worse for myself by giving more time for David to add more nonsense to his already lengthy list of wtf-ing. then again, it'd be sad if i wrote out a whole explanation only for David to fuck it up by adding another twisted layer on to his actions, so maybe it's for the best that i've been forced to wait.

in terms of trying to explain it in the short term, my best guesses as to what David is doing under the assumption that Eden is the killer are that A) he's already accepted that everyone is going to vote for Eden this time and is thus just setting up for the future (although that's kinda weird because she shouldn't accept they're all going to vote for Eden if he could convince them that the BDA was irrefutable proof), or B) he actually has no idea whether Eden is the killer or not, having admitted to not looking much at the crime scene, and is just trying to be annoying.

i don't know if you were actually looking for some sort of answer out of me here, but that's what i got for now. thanks for the ask!

[maxdibert]

Hey Maxi, I hope you're okay! I just wanted to say that although some of the stuff you wrote might come off a bit harsh—I totally get it, because those kids are seriously annoying—I hope you’re taking some time to cool down. I think your responses were pretty emotionally driven, and sometimes when emotions get involved, we end up writing or saying things we don’t fully mean.

That being said, it’s honestly so weird how those Marauders stans took what you said so personally XD Like, what you wrote was clearly satire. And on top of that, why are we expected to know or agree that Mary is Black? According to them, James is also a POC... which would make Harry a POC too, who is a slave (Kreacher) owner...Yeah. The mental gymnastics they do are wild, and they get offended by their own delusions.

And about this “known fact” that Mary is Black—like, known by who? The headcanon that Harry is POC is actually pretty widespread, same with Black Hermione, which somehow became accepted in a lot of fandom spaces. But with Mary Happymeal? When I read the books, I didn’t even picture her at all because she’s barely even a character to begin with XD Anyway, take care <3

I remember being completely confused when, after a few years away from the fandom, I suddenly saw Harry being portrayed in fanart as someone with dark skin, because in my mind he was always very pale. I think these people don’t understand that, for example, we spaniards see the English as extremely pale people. Harry is white in the books, or at least that’s what we’re led to believe, since James is white and so is Lily. The thing is, for a spaniard, imagining a white English person isn’t the same as imagining a white Southern European. A white person from Southern Europe could easily be seen as racialized in other parts of Europe. To me, a white English person is extremely pale —the kind of person who gets sunburned the moment they step outside— because we naturally have more melanin and darker skin tones than they do.

What makes me laugh is that these people have no clue and absolutely zero interest in understanding the cultural context of the people they’re pointing fingers at, all they care about is their own worldview and their shitty agenda. It’s not just that I imagine Mary as white, I imagine her as white British. And British white means super white, like, translucent. I don’t picture her as Mediterranean white. I could give them so many examples of people we consider white here who they would see as non-white, it’s honestly wild, lol. I’m white, but I can assure you that someone in England probably wouldn’t see me as that white, because I tan like five shades darker in the sun. These people aren’t more idiotic only because they don’t actively train for it, seriously.