#am i saying too much again..does that make sense...

[tommysparkles]

ohh can I have 48. …out of habit. for BT for the kiss meme 🙏

Yes!! I love it. Also, sorry, this ended up way longer than intended. They always do, lol.

"....and I got out of the helicopter and this kid is just looking at me like I'm the coolest thing he's ever seen," Tommy's saying with a smile on his face that Buck is no longer supposed to find adorable.

Or can he? Can you find your ex-boyfriend's smile adorable after you've agreed to just be friends? He's not really sure, but he supposes he'll just...not let anyone know he does. Yeah. He'll be cool and composed about the fact that he hates that he and Tommy are just friends.

"Too bad that kid doesn't know how very much not cool you actually are," Buck teases.

Tommy laughs. "Hey!"

"Oh, Tommy," Hen says with a good-natured smile. "Remember the old 118 days? You forget we've seen you at 4 am, without caffeine."

Yeah, Buck has too; they're not special.

Then he mentally slaps himself. Stop that.

The friends thing is fairly new, after all, so Buck tries not to be too hard on himself. And the reasons that Tommy suggested it were all perfectly reasonable, after, well everything, but Buck is sitting next to him in this booth, remembering how nights like this used to end with one of them going home with the other, cuddling, sex, and whispered words...

He's shaken from his reverie when Tommy bumps his shoulder, shooting him a concerned look while Eddie, Hen and Chimney are all giving him expressions that are far too knowing for his liking.

"You okay?" Tommy asks sincerely.

"Yeah," Buck answers, trying to be as casual as he can. "Yeah, I'm good."

Tommy doesn't look like he completely believes him, but lets it go. "Okay, well, I should head out. Thanks for the invite, guys. Cute kid notwithstanding, it's been a weird week."

"Yeah, man," Eddie says, toasting him with his beer bottle. "We're glad you could make it. You good to get home?"

Tommy waves him away. "Ordered an Uber."

Huh. Buck hadn't noticed that.

Before he can think too much on it, though, Tommy leans in, and, almost without thinking, plants a sweet kiss on Buck's mouth.

Tommy seems to realize what he's done the second they make contact. He freezes and so does Buck. The whole table is absolutely silent.

Then Tommy's pulling away, mumbling about needing to go, and he's out of the booth like there's a fire at his ass. It's probably a good thing he was on the end, because he might have literally pushed someone out to get out of the bar.

Tommy's gone and Buck looks at everyone else.

"What?" he says nonsensically.

He watches as Eddie sighs and turns to Hen and Chim. "Is it time to make it known that they're both idiots, or...?"

Hen sighs. "Buck, if you don't go after him, we're all going to throw something at you. In fact, I will go to Harbor and throw something at Tommy too."

Buck is out of the booth like a shot, following in Tommy's wake. When he gets outside, he panics for a moment, thinking that the Uber Tommy ordered must have come already, but he spots him off to the side of the parking lot like he's doing his best to hide and Buck rushes over.

"Tommy!"

When Tommy sees him, a look of panic crosses his face, but he doesn't move. Buck takes that as a good sign.

"Please," Buck says breathlessly. "Don't go."

"Evan," Tommy says, sounding a little desperate. "God, I'm so sorry. It...I just did it...it felt like it made sense at the time. I wasn't thinking-"

"Tommy," Buck breaks in. "Kiss me again."

Tommy stops talking, blinks at him like a very large owl. Buck thinks he's ridiculously cute. Again.

"What?" Tommy asks.

Buck walks toward him, close enough that either one of them could reach out and grab the other by the hips, just like they used to. He doesn't touch him, though; this feels like a make-or-break moment and, God, Buck wants to make it.

"Kiss me," Buck whispers. "Please."

Tommy only hesitates for a moment before he cups Buck's face and leans in for a soft kiss.

Buck puts his hands on his hips, kisses him back and revels in the taste of the nachos and craft beer and just the pure taste of Tommy.

He's missed it so much.

When they break away, it's like a mutual decision, leaning their foreheads together, breathing the same air.

"I know that I said I wanted to be friends," Tommy says softly. "But, I just...don't know if I can do that."

"Me neither," Buck answers. "I agreed to it because I thought that's the only way I could get you."

Tommy's laugh is rueful. "And I suggested it because I didn't want to pressure you after everything that happened."

Buck shrugs. "Sometimes it's okay to pressure me a little.

Tommy grins. "Yeah?"

Buck can't help it, leans in and kisses him again. "Yeah."

"Uber's on the way," Tommy says. "I-uh-didn't actually order it until I got out here. I was trying to be cool with you in there, but then I kissed you like I'd been picturing and--"

Buck looks at him in surprise. "You were picturing kissing me?"

"Evan, I accidentally kissed you in front of everyone," Tommy points out. "I picture kissing you all the time."

Buck laughs and shakes his head. They really are both so stupid. "Can I come with you? We can talk?"

Tommy thinks about this. "And kiss some more?"

Buck shrugs, knows he isn't actually projecting the nonchalance he doesn't feel. "If you play your cards right."

Tommy kisses his forehead. "I'll do my best."

Buck squeezes him tight. "I know you will."

[terephin]

I feel as if you are deliberately taking my words and viewing them in the worst possible light, though I apologise if I caused offense.

I did not, in my argument, say anything about such things making people lesser nor state that my given examples would make a life horrible.

However, I struggle to see a perspective where someone born without one or more limbs, using the one you brought up more specifically, does not undergo a far more rough and difficult life. And while I am all for a society more capable of accomodating the disabled, there is nothing that can be really done to help in this case. Without incredibly significant leaps in technology, there are no practical ways to actively aid especially young children as such. Yes, we could get every child a commited assistant, or plot out some system for distrubuting prosthetics with what functional capacity we can manage in a way that can handle needing to change them every couple months. But those are not, frankly, practical solutions.

Do I think that people born without a limb, or multiple, do not deserve to live? Please don’t put words in my mouth. But if that’s something preventable, then I really think there’s a point where not doing so is just cruel, in the end, especially considering how utterly reliant the human body fundamentally is on the assumption of two arms and two legs.

I’ll admit that I’m not overly informed on what, exactly, is detectable before birth. And again, I really don’t mean to be rude or mean or anything here but.

To start at one end of the next bit : To borrow your words, ”Your argument becomes quickly suspicious when you think about it”. You are, knowingly or not, and perhaps only partially, using arguments that form a perspective of fetuses being far more than they are.

To tackle the examples you yourself brought up. Quite frankly, for the promise that nobody would have to be born into the world in a constant state of pain you could break every bone in my body and have my thanks as you cracked apart my skull. Yes, you can live a good life in spite of it, but am I truly bloody evil for not thinking it’s right to just let people be born to suffer their whole life? What’s next, is wanting to eradicate cancer an unconciable desire?

And is it evil to think that, as long as we can prevent it, nobody should be born to never hear the song of birds or see the sunrise? Because even with all that we can do to change things, all the translation and transcription, is it not enough of a tragedy for someone to lose either later in life? There is so much beauty in the world, and again, is it really evil to think nobody should be born forever denied it?

…

A lot of what you’re saying, I’m coming to feel while responding here, carries a rather distinct sense of ’The Human Form Is Perfect And Must Not Be Altered’, to me. Because for all that a world more accessible, more kind, would be lovely, you seem so… Radically against the idea that, someday, should hope yield luck, there could ever be a world where truly nobody has to suffer.

Were we to find a gene therapy, or something, that could ensure nobody in generations to come was born blind nor deaf, would you oppose that too?

Because if I’m completely honest, the way you speak of this feels like it carries an awful touch of the Fetuses Have Rights arguments, just coming from the other direction.

I really don’t mean you ill. This was a mistake fr the beginning, I knew it.

If you are pro-choice you also need to make sure you aren't pro-eugencism.

This means you have to support the idea that, while everyone can choose whether or not they want to have children, if they decide to have a child, they need to be willing to have a disabled child or an intersex child.

Selective abortion is a huge problem amongst the disabled and intersex communities, and it promotes the erasure of their existence.

If a person chooses they want to go through with a pregnancy, they need to be willing to have ANY baby.

If you can't handle having a disabled or intersex baby, you aren't prepared to have a child at all.

A child could develop a disability at any time, or be revealed to be disabled at any time.

A child could develop intersex hormonal variations during puberty, or have undetected intersex genital traits, intersex reproductive traits, or intersex chromosomal variations.

If you can't handle the idea that your child may not be able-bodied, able-minded, or perisex, then you can't handle parenthood.

[nicksolemnlyswears]

FORGED UNDER FIRE

MANIFESTING

blurb: brennan manifests his healing signet and you quickly follow with a powerful signet of your own. the manifestation of these signet might just be what you and him need to make the first move

pairing: brennan sorrengail x rider! reader

word count: 4.1k

warnings: violence, cursing, fourth wing spoilers

a/n: hello, hello! i'm back at it again, finally got around to writing this part of the story and i'm sure you guys will be excited to know that the next chapter is their reunion! i'll try not to leave you waiting as long for it cause i'm hype for it as well

thank you for being patient and waiting for this update, some of you might know (or not) that i am still a student and, well, that always comes first. i always want to write but it's not my priority or if it is i might be burnt out. so i'd rather take a longer time to publish something good than give you something mediocre

anyways! enjoy this little slice of reader's and brennan's story and let me know what you think at the end!

for the rest of the chapters visit my masterlist!

Getting attached to people is, in a sense, prohibited to you. Your parents left you when you were young. Your old aunt took advantage of your youth and abused you. Walking the parapet and attending Basgiath meant death mingled with the students. You were carving an isolating path for yourself.

You'd like to say you tried your best at keeping the other cadets at an arm's distance. Amicable nods in the hallways, an offering hand to get a cadet off the sparring mat, or perhaps offering help and tutoring those whose academic side isn't as strong as their physical one.

Someone always breaks through, though, Brennan Sorrengail. Annoyingly perfect, smart, handsome, charismatic, caring Brennan. He'd hang his arm around your shoulder, drag you to the table where his friends sat—although, you guess they are your friends now too. He'd ignore how you'd try to create distance both emotionally and physically.

He'd sit with you for hours going through your notes on the history of Basgiath as if his father hadn't read it to him in disguise as adventurous stories when he was a child. Brennan, who would notice how much you loved blueberries and would push his into your plate— he swears he doesn't like them.

Brennan. Brennan. Brennan. He was all you thought of, all you saw, all you sought, all you dreamed of. So, perhaps your best was mediocre because he chaotically burst through the walls you erupted with fiery hair and a boyish, toothy grin you love.

His friendship morphed into something else too quickly. One moment you were calling him a friend, and the next you were hurting because you wanted him to be more. Gods, you dreaded when your friends would confess to lust-filled, hidden nights, afraid Brennan would speak of nights of his own.

But how could you act on it when there's the imminent threat of death around the corner? Does Malek see names and decide how important they are? Or will his scythe cut through their soul the same?

The answer is obvious. Not even the King's son made it through Basgiath. The great Brennan Sorrengail is no exception to the rule. You should be smart and keep your distance in the tragic case Brennan is Malek's next victim. Protecting your heart is as important as surviving.

Then again, you've never considered yourself an intellectual.

Behind those friendly smiles and actions lies a cunning man who sneaks at night to see who will be next on the sparring mat. He never explicitly admitted to his late-night escapades. Still, how come whenever he trains you for an upcoming sparring session, he teaches you about your opponent's weaknesses?

Once is a coincidence, twice is suspicious, by the third time there's no doubt.

It squeezes your heart. Brennan doesn't coddle you, he shapes you into a warrior. Sets you up for success because he cares— or so you make yourself believe. The other girls whisper at you, convincing you that he must have feelings for you.

They are like the devil on your shoulder, tempting you to let him in if only for a night.

Despite your futile attempts at keeping your distance, you find yourself sparring with Brennan. It's late at night, the training room empty except for the two of you, just as you'd hoped. It's easy to lie to yourself just to spend more time with him.

Brennan always reveres your physical strength. Despite your size, you pack quite a punch that will knock anyone on their ass, but you need help with your speed. Once you master being quick on your feet, you'll be unstoppable. When you graduate, you'll rise through the ranks without the need of a fancy signet.

Brennan wants to be by your side for it all. Every win, every loss, every injury, every celebration. Despite knowing you for less than a year, he's decided you're the one, even if you continue to delude yourself and push him away. He will wait.

Now, hand-to-hand combat with the guy you're in denial about falling for isn't always fun. Who are you kidding? It's never fun. You pull your punches, then you start to sweat because of his proximity to you, and finally, you get completely distracted when he takes off his shirt.

'If I had known you were so easily distracted, I would've picked another,' Calliss grumbles.

'Please, you're easily distracted by your mate. So much so you almost let me fall during flight maneuvers and you don't see me complaining,' you say, taking in the sight of Brennan's sculpted, bare chest. He has freckles all over his shoulders from hours spent in the sun. The shape of his dragon wrapped around his left side.

Your labored breathing from the sparring session hides how short of breath he makes you. You have to convince yourself not to look further down—you still do—and concentrate on the task at hand. Brennan approaches you, hands up in the proper fighting stance.

You follow his lead, blocking his jabs, keeping an eye open for an opening to land your hits. Brennan grabs your arms, turning you so your back is to his chest. You squirm and kick without success. He pushes you forward, so you quickly turn to punch him.

Brenna blocks it without hesitation, his wet hair falling over his eyes. How would it feel to push his hair back, to comb it with your fingers as he lies on your lap, reading about the history of Basgiath?

'BLOCK,' Calliss yells in your head. You don't have time to respond or react as Brennan's fist makes contact with your face.

Brennan believes in you too much because he thought you would dodge his coming punch as any sane person would.

No, his fist hits you square in the cheek, throwing you off balance and onto the floor. You land on your ass, clutching your cheek that's throbbing and burning. It immediately starts to swell, and blood drips from the cut on your cheekbone.

"Oh, fuck," you yell, seeing double. You might pass out.

Brennan scrambles over to you, kneeling on the floor. "Gods. I'm sorry! I thought you had it, let me see," he tries to pry your hand from your cheek.

You swat him away, rushing to stand, "I'm fine, Brennan. Maybe not—" The room around you spins, but Brennan catches you before you stumble to the floor face first.

He carries you over to the bench, feeling shitty about the situation. "Come on, sit down and don't pretend you're okay."

You feel like shit physically, he feels it emotionally. Who the fuck punches the girl they are pinning for? His chances are gone if you ever liked him before.

"Hey," you whisper, wincing when you give him a cheeky smile, "At least you didn't knock me out."

In what world are you proud of not being knocked out? How pathetic are you? You got sucker punched and sit there smiling like a maniac, all because it's Brennan.

He looks at you, horrified. His eyebrows set into a frown, ready to scold you for your indifference. "This is serious. It could've been worse, I could've broken your jaw."

"You're not that strong," you jest, trying to calm him down. It shouldn't be entertaining to see him this worried, but also, he's still shirtless. His state of undress and the punch in itself have you acting like a fool. "It was a friendly punch."

"Your brain must be scrambled," he says deadpan, not a smile or grin in place.

You sigh and shake your head, "Bren, it happens. We were sparring, and I got distracted. Isn't that lesson number one? Don't get distracted."

"I should've been more careful."

"Let's just say we both learned our lessons, huh?" You try to compromise, placing your free hand on his very naked shoulder. Don't squeeze, you tell yourself.

"I'm sorry," Brennan says, holding your hand, noticing the swelling of your eye, which isn't covered. There's blood starting to drip. "Let me see."

Brennan winces when you take your hand away from your cheek. It's painfully swollen and starting to take on the familiar purple color that every cadet wears. The inflammation spreads up to your eye. The skin is split around your cheekbone, where blood still pours.

His fingers ghost over your cheek, and you flinch at the sensation. You were acting like a clown to mask the pain and make him feel better. "Come to my room, let me clean the wound. I got a salve that will help with the bruising."

He doesn't give you an option; he quickly puts on his tunic and then grabs your hand. He secures an arm around your waist in case you're still dizzy and guides you to his room.

The room is the same as all others: a wardrobe, a desk, a chair, and a simple bed. You recognize Brennan's personal belongings strewn around the desk. A leather journal was amongst his things.

"Sit," Brennan commands, sitting you on his bed while he searches for the salve he'd been using.

"Woof," you say without thinking.

"I'm getting worried again," Brennan sings, the corners of his lips tilting up. "I hope I didn't do any permanent brain damage.”

You scoff and roll your eyes while he throws you a look over his shoulder. He's calmed down from the initial shock, although guilt is eating away at him.

Brennan grabs his desk chair and drags it directly across your spot on the bed. His legs widen to accommodate yours between them. He cages you in completely, there's no place to run now.

It's oddly intimate.

Your heart pounds as Brennan pinches your chin and tilts your head to the side so he can have a clear view of your cheek. He's assessing every bit of you, you can't hide behind the safety of your hair. The salve smells minty as he gathers it on his fingertips, yet as he lifts them to rub them on your face, he hesitates.

He looks at you, waiting for your permission. He already punched you, the least he could do is make it all better. "Go ahead, I don't bite."

"Yeah, right," he scoffs and laughs, remembering the one time you bit one of the cadets who wouldn't release you from a headlock.

"Ah, so my reputation precedes me…" You say ominously, gaining another chuckle from him.

It's enough to break through the rising tension of being alone in his room and sitting this close together. Brennan starts spreading the salve across your cheek, it cools your wound and stings your eyes.

He's laser-focused, making sure it's even. Gentle is one way to describe his touch, soft is another. He hates to see you hurt, especially if he was the one to cause it. If he could do more, he would because all he wants is to make it all better for you.

Meanwhile, you focus on his leg touching yours. You count your breathing and try to keep your heart steady before it beats out of your chest. He's gentle, you barely feel his touch, but you do feel how the pain vanishes away, and your face doesn't feel tight anymore. "Are you holding out on us? Is that some miraculous salve?"

Brennan is quiet, his touch firmer as his thumb runs along your cheekbone. “Bren? Brennan? Oh gods, is it bad?" Your eyes widen, afraid of his odd behaviour. The cut may be deep, and you need stitches. A scar on your face is not the worst, but it's not ideal.

The chair scrapes back as Brennan grabs your shoulders and positions you in front of the mirror. "What is it? Am I deformed?" You ask, inspecting your face for something horrifying. Instead, you find your face looking completely normal, without a bruise or cut. "What? Brennan…”

He had watched as your cut knit together and the bruise vanished right before his eyes. He couldn't begin to comprehend exactly what had happened.

'Stop looking stupid in front of the human girl,' Marbh speaks to snap him out of it, 'Be proud of your signet.'

His eyes meet yours through the mirror. "Is that?"

You smile broadly, turning around to face him, "Brennan, you're a healer!"

'She gets it,' Marbh says as it comes out as a mix of a purr and a chuckle.

Brennan grabs your shoulders, shaking them in excitement, "I'm a healer!"

He feels pride in his signet. Dragon riders spend so much time in harm's way that he's glad his signet is something to alleviate all that pain. Not only his, but others as well. He can save lives from situations where regular healers cannot. His mom and dad will be proud of him!

You! You're all healed!

You jump along with him, falling into his arms for a big hug. The pain is long forgotten. He rocks you against him, whispering into your hair, "I can't believe it. I'm a healer." It's an unorthodox way to find out, but he'll take it.

"Don't say I never helped you," you laugh, pulling back from the hug with your hands on his chest.

Brennan nods and acts on instinct, happy to share this special moment with you. He grabs the back of your neck and leans down to press his lips on yours. Your lips are as soft as he imagined, and they return the kiss he's yearned for since the moment he met you.

You grab fistfuls of his tunic, feet rolling to the tips of your toes to press more against him. You don't think, your lips respond on their own, having thought of this moment. This must be a dream; you passed out, and this is all a dream.

His tongue licks at your lips as he slides his tongue into your mouth, hand squeezing at your waist. You moan at the feeling, hands sliding up to his neck, fingers getting tangled in his hair. One step from Brennan has you pinned against the wall.

Thundering steps and loud voices are heard outside, and the next thing they know, Brennan's door handle jiggles. "Brennan, open up, you won't believe what happened!" Riven yells, continuing to pound on the door.

You pull away with a gasp, and Brennan looks at you with the softest smile you've ever seen. Dread and panic brew in your chest.

Taking in your expression, Brennan's smile falls, "I'm sorry. I thought you-"

"I have to go," you quickly speak, sliding out between the spot he created against the wall. You open the door, and Riven, along with two more cadets, nearly fall into the room. Ignoring their cheeky comments, you run to your room, locking the door and sliding down to the floor.

You shouldn't have crossed the line; you had been so good up until a couple of minutes ago.

‘Own up to your actions,’ Calliss whispers in your head.

It's not easy when a crippling anxiety curls up in your chest and doesn't let you breathe. There are too many possibilities that stem from the kiss. You stop being friends. You keep being friends, but it's not the same. It was a mistake. Brennan likes you and asks you to be in a relationship. He dies during training. You date but then realize you're not compatible, and the friendship is ruined.

It plagues your mind day and night, and you resort to avoiding the confrontation altogether.

Avoiding Brennan is easier said than done. You're in the same squad and hence share the same classes. So you sit in front of the class between two cadets you've barely spoken to. Go to the cafeteria, hiding among the multitudes of cadets and eat in your room. He follows you during sparring sessions, hoping to talk, but you slip away from his grasp.

He knocks on your door at night, knowing you are in there, but receive no response. He can see your shadow from the crack under the door. Brennan apologizes, acknowledging that he had crossed boundaries you didn't want touched. He didn't mean to force you into anything.

By the end of the week, he stops trying to approach you, but his eyes continue to follow you, asking for a simple explanation you don't want to give him. Truthfully, you don't understand either.

Enough is enough. Brennan gave you time, and he's apologized; you can't keep avoiding him. If you don't want to speak to him again, it's fine, but one last conversation is needed. He sits with his back to the wall, waiting for you to walk in to grab your lunch. You'd never skip a meal, you've been hungry before, left to wonder when your next meal will be.

You walk in with a crowd. Standing in line to grab your tray. You feel his eyes on you, your heart picking up. With the tray in your hands, you move to leave and eat in your room, but he stands in your way.

You are a coward, afraid of rejection and things changing. This is the most stable you've felt in years, and you're fearful of losing it all.

You didn't want him to confront you, changing everything. You weren't even sure of what you wanted. You just didn't want to be seen by him because once he's made up his mind, there's no changing it. Why is he so stubborn?

You look around, but all exits are blocked by cadets or by him. Your heart rate picks up, and you close your eyes for a moment as a chill washes over you.

Brennan thought he was going crazy, seeing things that weren't there because you vanished right in front of his eyes. "What?" He says out loud, looking at his surroundings.

You stand in the same spot as he returns to the table with Riven and the others. Did he give up? How odd.

Cadets start bumping into you, left and right, with their full weight. They look just as confused, not looking at you but right through you. Another pushes you from behind, and you fall on the floor, the tray clattering loudly.

Everyone stops in their tracks, staring at the tray that appeared out of nowhere. Tessa, a blue-haired third year, shuffles closer, hands out, expecting to find something, until you grab her hand before she hits you in the face.

"Someone is invisible," she quips with a smile, "Looks like they found their signet. Get Professor Carr."

"I'm invisible?" You questioned out loud, stretching your hands in front of you. If you were invisible, why could you see yourself perfectly?

"Can you try reverting back?"

It's hard to 'revert' back to visible. Everyone's attention makes you want to disappear even more. Acknowledging this, Professor Carr asks you to follow him into his classroom, where he walks you through being visible once more. Eventually, it works.

"So, I can turn invisible?" You ask him once he's able to see you.

Professor Carr is pensive. "It's strange, we've never had someone with this signet."

'That's because your signet is not turning invisible, it's casting an illusion,' Calliss purrs in the depths of your mind. She was fairly content with the turn of events, happy that you had finally manifested.

"Calliss says I don't turn invisible but cast an illusion," you repeat to Professor Carr, whose face lights up in recognition.

"That makes more sense. You're a sight weaver, each one in the past has presented differently," he explains, searching for his notes, "We haven't had many. The last one died decades ago, tragically young. It's instrumental both in battle and in tactics. The Commanding General will be glad to know we have another one in our ranks."

Professor Carr ushers you away and promises to explain more of your signet during his channeling classes. You nod, numb from the information bestowed upon you. No longer invisible, you walk out of the classroom, head down, looking at your scuffed boots.

"I knew you didn't want to talk to me, but turning invisible was quite dramatic." You pick up your head to find Brennan leaning against one of the stone pillars. No more running, turning invisible actually left you quite drained.

"I did not turn invisible, I cast an illusion which is quite different," you respond humorously, pretending you hadn't been avoiding him, but it falls flat.

Brennan walks next to you. Where are you going? He has no idea, but he'd follow you to the ends of the world. "I'm sorry I kissed you. I never meant to force myself on you and make you uncomfortable."

You scoff, "Brennan, I can assure you, you didn't make me uncomfortable, quite the opposite."

He looks at your side profile inquisitively. You enjoyed the kiss, and he wasn't misinterpreting things. "Then why have you been running from me?"

You sigh, avoiding his eyes. You can tell he's watching you from your peripheral vision. "Because I'm scared of things changing. In my head, if I kept ignoring you, it meant everything would stay the same."

"But they are not," Brennan adds.

He misses you every day you avoid him, and he's been beating himself up on where he went wrong. Part of him thought he forced himself on you, and that's why you were avoiding him.

"I didn't say it made sense. Anxiety is a real thing," you quip, hugging your arms to your chest, as if you're creating a real barrier between you and him.

"Okay," Brennan softly says, thinking about your response before coming up with one of his own. "You don't think things will change for the better? That you and I together will be good? Because I think we'd be great."

You stop in the middle of the empty hall, Brennan pausing next to you. "I'm scared I'll become more attached than I am now, and if I lose you, that would break me," you confess in a whisper.

Brennan heard you loud and clear. He knows where you're coming from, you've been through a lot in the past. He doesn't need to know everything to know that much.

"I understand, but you have to know I feel the same. I could lose you at any moment, here in Basgiath or outside, where the real fight is. All I'm saying is I'd rather have a day, a week, a month, a year, a decade with you than none at all," Brennan confesses. he tugs at one of your hands to hold it in his. His thumb strokes the back of it. "Tell me something, if you died tomorrow, would you regret not spending that one day with me?"

You stare straight into his eyes for the first time since the cafeteria. You seriously consider his question and come up with only one answer. You nod, tearily say, "It's what I would regret most."

Brennan smiles at you, taking a step closer, your chests almost touching, "Exactly, let's make time count…"

"What if we don't work out?" you voice another concern. It's not your fault your brain won't stop overanalyzing everything.

Brennan shrugs, "Then we don't. That doesn't mean I wouldn't have loved you, because I do, but people change, and that's okay. You'll probably find another guy that will make you feel more than you ever felt for me."

"I don't think that's possible." It's so early to say such things, yet you can't deny the feeling blooming in your chest.

"We won't know if we don't try." Brennan cups your cheek, "What do you say?"

"Don't leave me." You're offering him a promise that no matter what happens, if you fall out of love or something else happens, he'll come back to you just as you'll come back to him.

"I won't," he promises, bumping his forehead with yours. "Can I kiss you?" He would prefer you wouldn't run away again.

"You've never had to ask," you answer with a soft laugh, pulling Brennan closer to kiss him.

There are no thoughts, no 'what ifs,' no worries. Just you and Brennan and the promise sealed with the kiss.

taglist: @berry-marys @cherubinn7 @ladynyx91 @kylaisra @detectivehailey @liahaslosthermind @thebreadisthetruevillian @bbkissme99 @honethatty12 @sunny1616 @akshstudios @yadirrez @xoxomoonlightbabe @jaynawayna @littlepippilongstocking @itsmytimetoodream @honethatty12 @poseidont @lveegsoi @cheappremingerfromdelululand @tattee-18 @bxm-2121 @hannahjsworld @holb32 @hannah-schooler @sunflouer04 @hiraethjules @lagrandeourse @iambored24601 @littleemissperfecttt @luvly-writer @bookwormysblog @bwormie @marrass @lxnvmvrzx @dreaming-lis @nerdywitchgeek @we-were-beautiful @matrixmoxi @vikilinda @yuelhua @bisexual-disaster-theoryblogger @casiiopea2

want me to add you to the taglist or i missed you? just leave a comment :D

so what do we think??? i think this was important to write about, this is their beginnings and it gives us more insight on who she is and why his death affected her so much.

don’t forget to heart, comment or reblog!! :D

[lamaery]

Hello! I just saw your zosan art and it was fabulous so I immediately had to follow you. I really love your art style, so I wanted to ask about your experience with art. How much do you typically draw? Did you start young or when you were older? Do you have any formal art education under your belt? Also, do you have any tips for artists who are just starting out? (Or more broadly, for artists with less experience than you?) And finally, how do you usually start an art piece? I know this is a lot of questions, so if it's too much, just answer some. Or don't answer any at all, I'll understand! Once again, I really love your art and I hope you have a great day/night ♥️♥️♥️

Hi, thank you for your sweet message. Er, I think I draw a lot but, not necessarily everyday? (I love my sketchbook.) I started doing it once I could hold a pen and it just became a thing I do. For fun, out of boredom, for reflexion, for relaxation, for connecting what's in my head and what's around me. Put a pen in my general vicinity and I will eventually start scribbling. I have a Bachelor and Master Degree in Illustration and work as a freelancer. So I draw a lot for that and it is great, but doing it for myself feeds my soul. Even if it is silly. Especially if it is silly. Tips for making art... hmm. It is always a bit difficult giving general advice for that. Do what feels interesting to you. Have fun. Making a lot of art will help you to become better, but it doesn't have to be a tedious training process. So you can be as curious and playful with it as it fits you. Art isn't about making something in the correct way, but learning and understanding what you are doing. How does the human body work? How can I express this feeling? How do I make an intriguing and beautiful composition? There are many ways to answer questions like these and your answers can be entirely your own. To find them you got to try out a lot of things and make a lot of art. A lot of mediocre art, I might say. Stuff that is bad, stuff that is just meh. But that's really okay as long ever so often you make something that you feel really proud of, that makes you happy in that moment. Find people that will be happy with you about your art. Who can tell you what they like about it, what they think what is good about it, but also what doesn't work yet. Getting good feedback is incredibly helpful. It doesn't mean that you have to agree with everything someone else, even if they are more experienced but it helped me to hone my sense when to change and try out new thing and when to I want to stand firm on my creative decision. It is why I am glad, that I studied. But also a lot for communities online in which I shared my stuff. We can challenge us, motivate us, inspire us, share our joy.

So, I hope this wasn't too general and cheesy. :D Now where do I start an art piece. An idea? A feeling? Sometimes just a line on paper. A sketch. Usually for more complicated stuff. Deciding where I want to put what and to get a grip on the feel I want which then start to refine bit by bit.

Hope this helps. :D For more specific art questions feel always free to ask, although I can never guarantee a fast reply.

[lemonadepinksstuff]

Alright continuing with the SSKK x Apothecary Diaries idea I typed up at like 12 am; it's something I've had in my mind for months.

So going down the list of characters:

[Be warned some of these are ridiculous, but they work imo. Also, no genderbents, this AU funtions kinda like ABO but without the naming scheme.]

Maomao = Akutagawa: Akutagawa and Maomao are already very much alike with their attitudes and focus for their craft and work. So, instead of being a mafioso, the love for poisons and medicine aspect would remain for this. Maomao has always been the type to do what she needs to survive and the same goes for Akutagawa. We know Akutagawa isn't the type to care much for those he considers weak but I doubt he wouldn't be like Maomao with helping the innocent in the TAD world, even if he excuses it as a moment to prove people wrong.

Jinshi = Atsushi: Of course these two are not the same but they have some similar behaviors like lack their of self-confidence. The entire pretty boy charm will still be there but I don't see Atsushi being the type to flirt so openly with Akutagawa. It would be subtle enough that he notices and reacts the way Maomao does. Then again it doesn't have to be that way, Atsushi could still be as gutsy as Jinshi, I just can't see him doing that. Also Atsushi would be way more flushed than Jinshi and he would react to Akutagawa looks of disgust in the same way Jinshi sees Maomao's.

Xiaolan = Higuchi: It just kinda works in my head considering Akutagawa and Higuchi's relationship in BSD is more professional, so making them gossip coworkers in TAD just felt right.

Emperor = Fukuzawa: Alright, I was going to put Mori instead but I liked Fukuzawa here instead. Just you know he gives off that leader vibe like a emperor. I don't have much to say about this section.

Gyokuyou = Tanizaki: You were probably thinking someone else would fit here better, and I was thinking the same, but the other candidates were better in other places. Jinshi and Gyokuyou are pretty close friends and the same with Atsushi and Tanizaki so yeah. Bonus points for Naomi being Hongniang as head lady-in-waiting.

Lihua = Yosano: It's honestly because of the purple hair and their smarts also they both can throw hands ngl. Maybe add some of her medical knowledge being taught from Akutagawa.

Lishu = Kyouka: It's kinda because they are both the same age when they are introduced but their background of their mothers. It's not the best connection but they both balme themselves for their mother dying.

Gaoshun = Kunikida: I mean why not, both reliable and strict men who are just trying to do their job. Also Kunikida is considered like a parental figure to Atsushi like Gaoshun is the Jinshi.

Lankan = Dazai: Honestly, it was the obvious choice in my mind. Dazai and Lankan are both crazy in a similar sense, just without the offing him aspect. They are both terrifyingly smart at their jobs, manipulating people and their odd personality. Of course the doting on Maomao aspect with be the same here, basically the opposite of BSD. As well as Akutagawa not considering him family in any sense, not seeking his praise at all. That would mean that Dazai wouldn't be fond of Atsushi though whoops. (I wonder that Canon!Akutagawa would think of TAD!Akutagawa in this regard? 🤔)

Lahan = Ranpo: Dazai and Ranpo are basically two peas in a pod sometimes, so Ranpo was the choice for Lahan. Also both being pretty but Lahan is smarter in math than detective skils. But like it can be the case that Ranpo is has his detective skills in TAD. Their personalities are similar both being rather eccentric in their ways.

Luomen = Oda: Now, for one he's alive and he's like the only person Dazai will listen too. Lankan will only listen to his honorable uncle so it was be the same for Dazai. He was also Dazai's person to keep him level headed and understanding him. Also I can see Oda adopting and raising the kid Dazai never got to raise ngl.

Fengxian = Chuuya: You should have seen this coming. I'm not the biggest SKK-er, (my bias is SSKK) but the ship can be very sweet. Dazai and Chuuya's relationship of being rivals would apply here but it would just be rivals in their board games. The rest is basically the same as in TAD.

Shisui = Sigma: Now I don't want to spoil this character for anyone who hasn't gotta that far in Apothecary Diaries yet but like this relates back to where I have put Nikolai and Fyodor.

That's all for now, I've been writing for like an hour and a half now. This isn't even all the characters lol. If you have any questions about this BSD x TAD AU you're free to ask and tell me your thoughts because I'm open to suggestions. 🤗

[xaila-space]

Ok sooooooo since my love for moon still hasnt faded yet and i do understand him in this situation cause well i semi relate to the guy in this- TvT (also kinda trsting myself if i really understand his side cause i understand why sun is angry)

The tone moon used when he said sorry wasnt sarcastic, it sounded like genuinly confused of why sun is mad. Moon does have the right to be confused if he has that mindset.He said sorry twice in diffrent tones one with confusion and the second i believe was genuine to make sure sun knows he is sorry.

Im reminding people once again that moon back then was very influenced by his killcode slowly flaring up again, while yes the actions were bad and maybe he could have handled it better but in a situation of high stress its hard to keep control. (Also i domt get why moon or sun yelling at each other is that bad cause thats litterly what siblings do-) Again not saying what he did was ok but still it was a hard situation for him to control himself.

Moon talking to funtime chica and foxy isnt a problem cause he probably tried to like maybe distract himself from whatever happened before. Also moon didnt accuse sun to be cold hearted for killing bloodmoon. Moon out of anyone would have loved bm to be killed but not by the hands of his brother, i think he said it before that he dosent want sun to go follow the path moon took without a choice. Moon knows better than anyone that one kill can lead to 100 other kills.

Moon didnt die to escape the consequences what he did with KC is practically his one step to be better. He already dealt with so many people dying because of him, and seeing KC ready to change and try out a new life was practically something moon didnt want to just waste. I mean moon didnt see any worth in himself before either so it does make sense why he would want to give KC a chance

I read this in one post

If we follow the mindset moon shows in the recent ep then him not comforting sun does make sense if he just dosent understand why sun is upset. While yes thats still bad and stuff but from what i understand moon dosent take action until he understands the full story. Wivh i completly get cause i also am like that, i observe, try to understand and THEN act. If moon dosent understand emotions tjen it makes even more sense why he didnt comfort sun. "YeS bUt He CoUld HaVe AsKeD sUn aBouT iT" well he didnt and what will you do about that. If he asked it would go deeper, and moon rpobably didnt want to make it worse. Lets say moon overthinks a lot when it comes to sun. Mf dosent understand emotions, and no its not easy to learn nor does it intrest people too much. Sun saying he wants moon and he chose moon to be there still dosrnt change the fact that moon dosent understand emotions. Its just hard to understand and i believe moon would like it if someone would explain it to him or say how they feel then he might be able to comfort them and i said it bwfore that he didnt bother to go to sum cause that mf could have been overthinking too much and probably was scared he would just make it worse

I cant say antjing about the crime cause i cant find the ep TvT

Moon does not see sum as a puppet and thats a fact he isnt THAT horrible.

If moon says he isnt angry at monty then he just isnt angry, his tone didnt show aky sighns of anger nor do i think he will just suddendly crahs out on monty for a minor thing like that. Him lying is a part of the whole him not giving incomplete information deal. Also they really barely got anything so i cakt blame him too much

I dont think moon cares too much about perfection i mean he already has pretty low self esteem so he wouodt expect much from himself let alone expect people to exoect anything from him.

Him saying "i will call you if i need you" is just another phrase that just comes out as wrong in situations like this. Moon needs sun and sun knows that or atleast moon thinks sun knows that. I also had a frw moments where i said a thing when i meant something diffrent. What he meant here is that when its needed for sun to know ot when they need a helping hand he will call sun. Never EVER has he called sun useless or anytjing like that, he acknowledges that sun takes care of the household, the kids and so much more. Moon handles the more business part and more stuff.

So yeh i litterly woke up three hours ago going back and fourth to see the ep of where these informations could be from to get to this-

Just to be clear. Moons actions arent entirely good and definetly impacted sun heavily cause its a very important promise. But the problem is moon cant give lore unformation without understanding and having thw whole picture while sun dosent care what information it is he wants it all and thats where the promise breaks so inszead of getting into an argument with one another it would be benefitial if they would discuss what is considered a secret in this promise and how they could change things to actuqlly keep the promise to both standards

Buut just for the drama that probably wont happen 🙃

Monty doesn't take Moon side and actually sticks up to Sun? This is new. This is beautiful.

We are so miss Monty and Sun duo. Surely they rarely talk to each other much but clearly Monty has grown respect towards Sun day by day to the point of carefully thinking of what Sun feels and Sun also trusts Monty to take care of his sister.

I pretty much predicted Moon would use the Sun would overreact and condemn it as it's not a big deal when talking to Sun, but I don't actually think it would go that bad.

Like, what girl, do you have any idea what comes out of your mouth???

Not only do you say sorry with a sarcastic tone, like you want Sun to move this topic on immediately, but also you had a gut to tell Sun, he is the emotional one????

Are you sure it is not you who yelled and hit Sun because you want to prove you are worse than Eclipse, that instead of comfort your brother in distress, it is Sun who comforts you back??

Is it not you who insulted Sun everyday back then just because you are upset?

Is it not you who literally rather talking to Funtime Chika and Foxy than talking to your brother, who clearly is not in the right mind because whatever you screamed before? And then is it not you who instead of comfort and making sure Sun is okay, mf accused Sun to be cold hearted for killing Bloodmoon and proceed to die because you don't want to deal with more of your consequences?

And when Sun killed Nexus, what did you do? Comfort Sun like a good brother? Noooooo... You think so much about yourself and your 'not good with emotions craps' when in fact you just hate Nexus and don't want to do anything related to him. And who is the one comfort who in the end may I ask?

It's Sun, the one who literally killed his brother, comfort and said that yes Moon, you are good enough.

But in this new dimension and this new life, probably Moon would still stay better, right?

Nah, dude did crime right the second day, and have a gut to tell back to Sun, saying he did all this because of the family, especially Dazzle. Definitely doesn't smell manipulation here, am I right.

And then what? Babygirl decided things over Sun like Sun just a child, like Sun just a puppet for him to puppeting.

Boy clearly forgets about all his promises right after he feels comfortable enough.

"I'm totally not mad that Monty told you about the thing"

Yes you do!! If not, you wouldn't try to keep lying your way when Sun asks you firsthand!! Who predicted he would be indirect aggression towards Monty for a week before he cooled off??

And what? Using Dazzle as an excuse of how Moon is treating Sun again????

Bro, are you sure it is because you actually care about Sun's feeling and totally not because you feel ashamed that you got caught and want your image to be forever perfect in Sun's eyes?

Surely it is not your ego shatter and you need Sun to smother it right?

And what was that?

"I will call you if I need you. "

Girl... You clearly just don't want to tell Sun anything. I bet it will be the last faith Sun left for you Moon. Because from now on, Sun definitely will not take Moon words with as much care like he used before.

I mean, why would he when clearly, Moon doesn't respect any of his? His boundaries? His promises?

Sun is right to get out and take a chill pill. Because if it was me, I totally would punch that face hard and walk it off.

[catmanbowser]

I hc Jason todd as ace and perhaps aro because I am and he has enough stuff going on in his life and I genuinely think he'd be good without a relationship like often found in fanon. Like, in my eyes, that complicates things, no?

My agenda is aro ace ppl getting some rest and spending time with friends and on getting better and being happy

Totally!! Im aro too, and i agree with what you said. Even if i dont have the same labels on him like i used to, i still see him as slightly aromantic. He yearns, and he loves, but he has his own way of showing it..and however that is, is up to anyone's interpretation of him as a character.

And yeah, he doesn't particularly need to have a romantic partner in canon or fanon since he's got a lot going on, but that doesnt mean that he didnt try since his exes are proofs of that he tried even if it ended up with him dying or they just didnt work out at all, and surely being suck at dating or failing to get one means that he's an aroace.

That's just coz he sucks or his partner sucked or maybe they just wanted different things or maybe that he's just bad at forming that kind of relationship not to mention keeping one. Being aroace would just his preferences, and he still could date if anyone decided to write him that way!

Hell! people with those labels can be in a relationship irl and people still say shit like "that shouldn't be possible", and "you must be miserable to not feel romantic or sexual desires towards anything". Like, no! That's not it!! We just prefer certain things in certain ways. Not to mention there's also a whole ass spectrum to these labels!

Also, to me the direction of his character in canon has been a little all over the place with a few clear ones where he's just doing his own thing again or with a company while figuring his relationship with the city and with people around him (new or old), also that these stories doesnt necessarily have to have to involve any romance nor sexual relationships in it as he's doing his own shit like you said, it would complicate things.

But i think if it's written properly, it could be interesting how he would or wouldnt be in one.

[britneyshakespeare]

you know something i don't like about modern culture (and i wonder to what extent the prevalence of dating apps has to do with it) is that you're, seemingly, not supposed to ask people you just meet in real life on a date anymore? you're supposed to ask them to see you individually to hang out, and you're not supposed to call it anything...? people act like declaring intent is impolite or something.

this absolutely sucks if you're a woman on the receiving end of this kind of thing all the time, from men you don't wanna see privately that way. i've felt so much guilt about it in my life. whether i say no or yes. i know i'm giving that man hope that it's a date, that i wanna go on a date with him if i agree to see him for coffee or whatever. but if i don't wanna go on this undeclared date, i have to reject the very concept of spending time with him at all, which feels SOOO much meaner and more personal, doesn't it? it feels like that to me. and if i do go, and i don't wanna go on another one (because i never enjoyed the it-pretty-much-being-a-date element of the time), it feels like i'm crushing his hopes after puffing them up just a little bit.

and it's like. "date" is not a dirty word. we have so many expectations nowadays around things. women used to sit around and wait for a man to propose to them, and it would be basically the only decision they could make in their life. not even really the choice to marry, but to whom they get married. and obviously marriage was very serious.

as courtship continued to develop into modern dating and boyfriend/girlfriend culture, it sort of decentralized the importance or marriage and valued getting to know someone you like romantically, with the implicit assumption that you're doing it with the attempt to better choose the 'right one' by spending quality time with them. decent enough. although even the words boyfriend and girlfriend are much more serious than they used to be. they did not always imply a serious commitment like they do today, especially if you're... basically, just not a kid anymore.

people have a certain amount of expectation of what anyone over 18 should do or want to do with a "partner"—like, if this were the 1940s, i would've had several "boyfriends" in my adult life, but i never called them that, and the modern sense of that word would not be accurate. if i went on a date or two and flirted with them, that'd be enough to say "yeah i went out with a boyfriend." i'm mostly indifferent to this change of vocabulary, but the point is i have no word to describe any of those guys that i just gave a chance, never felt much for, and didn't wanna keep seeing. not bad things; it's just experience.

and if we aren't bold enough to call things dates for the sake of the atmosphere not losing the low-stakes nature... it's like, no, it doesn't do that. it's just two people spending time with the elephant in the room. perhaps that makes it feel more relaxed if both people really are doing it with the same intent, let's-just-see-if-we-get-along, figuring out if you like someone you don't really know very well yet. testing it. but like. that can be a date. that's what a lot of dates are. when you meet the person on a dating app and just grab coffee without setting higher expectations, you wouldn't hesitate to call it a date. if it's that person from your college class, that's ruder or more presumptuous, somehow?

a date doesn't have to be a candlelit dinner with the violinist standing by. a date doesn't have to be high romance. a date doesn't have to end with a kiss or lead to a commitment, if things go decently. a date certainly doesn't have to result in two people having sex. a date can be nonchalant and friendly and just trying to discover if you have any chemistry with this person who piqued your interest. why is that NOT the initial expectation anymore? why is "date" a dirty word? why?

[ahti-the-janitor]

Sometimes I feel like people are allergic to any sort of nuance and complexity when it comes to the characters. They either see them as completely evil, without any nuance whatsoever, and every single action from them as evil and bad as if everything is always so black and white and people are only one way, or then they see them as these perfect people who never do any wrong and try to explain away their faults and mistakes and shortcomings.

I am not saying you cannot dislike characters or that These or Those actions are redeemable, that doing a few things makes a person good etc. but the lack of nuance is frustrating me. I think it makes the characters much less interesting and less compelling to only reduce them to "completely evil person who never did anything good" or "perfect person who never did anything wrong". I've just seen a lot of oversimplification of these very nuanced, conplex characters.

People either go "yes, this character acted in a questionable way, but none of it was bad bc This and That, they did NOTHING wrong!!" or "omg they never did anything good and every action of theirs was an evil one". Like... You are allowed to have things be complicated, you are allowed to see the complexities It makes the characters interesting!!

[quibble-auk]

@thebrokenmechanicalpencil

I’m not sure if I’m in love with this. But it’s been done. The moment that Cometeater said “I lived for them�� I had this pop into my head.

Dropmix is great at comforting people usually. He just tells them what they want to hear. But this time if he fails then Jeopardy ends up getting hurt so the pressure is on. So he’s gotta actually like…. Open up. At least as much as he can.

He doesn’t really but he feels like he does. So good for him I guess.

My contribution to the Custody AU.

—

Dropmix closed the door of the side room as gently as he could behind him. Jeopardy had been a mess after he had found Cometeater on the roof, programs only making the young medic’s emotional response stronger. Somehow Jeopardy had managed to keep it mostly under control while he soothed Comet. Though the moment that the medic had stepped out of the room with the Pretender he had fallen apart.

It took longer than usual for Dropmix to get him to settle—it had been awhile since the younger mech had a panic attack that severe. But Dropmix knew to be patient, carefully guiding the panicking medic through exercises to ground himself and try to steady his breathing. When Jeopardy finally did calm down he quickly revealed to Dropmix what had happened, clearly distressed and voice breaking. The dark gladiator did everything he could to comfort the other, holding him until Jeopardy eventually slipped into sleep.

But the entire experience had brought several things to his attention. The first being that he needed to keep a closer eye on both Jeopardy and Cometeater. The second was that the young medic cared deeply for his friend and was struggling to try and help him. The third was that if Comet did something like this again it very possibly might destroy Jeopardy.

So it was up to Dropmix to make sure something like that didn’t happen again.

The large mech looked around the dark room, the only light provided by the faintly glowing emergency lights that the medical bay had installed. Cometeater was curled on the berth, tucked away in a thick blue blanket, swaddled in it like it could hide him from the outside world. Dropmix narrowed his eye, straining against the darkness to try and figure out what position Comet was in. He didn’t move any further into the room, standing awkwardly just in front of the doorway.

Eventually, the mass of blanket shifted as two large eyes looked up at him, wide and watery. They flashed, the low lighting catching just the right angle to make the wide pupils glow a sickly yellow color for a brief moment. Cometeater blinked once before he pushed himself into the corner of the bed, away from Dropmix, a low whine escaping him.

Dropmix sighed, rolling his shoulders back, bracing himself. He wasn’t here to intimidate. He wasn’t here to threaten. He wasn’t even here because he particularly cared—at least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

He was here because Jeopardy was in over his head.

The gladiator had dealt with people like this before and he had always been smart enough not to get attached to patients like this, but Jeopardy didn’t know any better, he couldn’t help himself. That much was clear with Nova.

He looked to the other side of the room, expression carefully neutral. Dropmix slowly walked to one of the chairs that sat across from the bed, he could feel Cometeater’s gaze burning into him as he moved. The gladiator didn’t say anything, he didn’t react at all, only plopping himself down into the chair with an ungraceful grunt. He took a moment to adjust his posture, trying to keep his armor from pressing against his joints uncomfortably before he looked back over at the swaddled form on the bed.

The silence sat thickly in the room as the gladiator fought with himself to keep the thoughts of how pathetic the display was at bay. That was the last thing that Cometeater needed at the moment. If Jeopardy was right, Dropmix would have to tread carefully. However, with the way that the small green mech was looking at him, Dropmix was realizing that it would be difficult to reach the other without poking at things he shouldn’t.

Unless, of course, Dropmix did the one thing he would rather eat his own armor than do willingly. But he wasn’t doing this for himself, he was doing it for Jeopardy. If this was what it took to make sure that Comet didn’t hurt Jeopardy like that again then Dropmix could suck it up. It was a small price to pay. The gladiator shifted in the chair as he took another moment to collect his thoughts.

“Jeopardy told me what you tried to do,” He began, tone gentle as if he was talking to one of his other patients. He forced his posture to remain relaxed as he observed Comet for any reaction, his voice shifting to something just a bit more harsh and blunt, “That was fragging stupid, you know that, right?”

Cometeater blinked, eyes widening a little as he heard Dropmix’s voice shift, eyes darting to the floor for a moment. He stayed quiet for just a moment, burrowing into the blanket a bit more under the intense stare of Dropmix. When the pretender finally replied it was muffled by the cloth, “I guess.”

Dropmix narrowed his eye, resisting the urge to scoff, “Then why did you do it?”

The green mech ducked lower, still not looking up at Dropmix. He shuddered and shook his head, tone thick with emotion as he did his best to growl at the other, “Why are you here Dropmix?”

The gladiator shook his head, crossing his arms and leaning back into the chair. He frowned, “I’m here because you tried to kill yourself, Cometeater.”

“So, what?” The small mech spat hotly, though his voice slightly waivered, emotions still brewing. He glared at the gladiator, eyes wetter than normal, “You here to antagonize me? You here because you have to so you can keep pretending to be something you're not?”

Dropmix took a deep breath, his expression softening slightly, his arms remaining crossed over his chest. He shook his head dismissively. He knew what this was, the hostility was a sad attempt to defend himself, to try and get Dropmix to leave. Unfortunately, he hadn’t quite mastered it in the same way Nova had, the gladiator could see through the cracks. “No, I’m not here because I have to be, I’m here because I want to talk to you.”

Comet looked away, shifting to hide his face in the covers, “Go away, I don’t want to talk.”

“I never said you had to talk,” Dropmix was careful to keep his tone gentle and soft. He needed to treat this like he would any other grieving patient—no, what Dropmix was doing was not something he did with others. He didn’t try to connect with people, not when it involved exposing his own old wounds and failures, “I just need you to listen, think you can do that?”

The swaddled mass on the bed didn’t move or reply, Dropmix didn’t expect him to. He sighed, looking at the ground as he collected his thoughts, his spark hammering in his chest. The gladiator was never good at this, he told people what he wanted them to hear, usually it was what they needed as well. But Cometeater needed more than that and Dropmix knew that the kid was in no place to use this against him.

He also knew how to keep a secret.

“I’m not going to tell you that everything’s going to get better. I’m not going to sugar coat or lie to you to make you feel better,” Dropmix began, voice gentle though it carried a sharp edge to it, leaving no room for argument, “Things are going to hurt and be uncomfortable. Things like this are messy. You’re probably going to hate every second of it, wish that the universe would spare you from the miserable existence you’ve found yourself in. And you have every right to think that, to feel that way.”

Cometeater stiffened a bit, curling away from the other more. The gladiator shifted, going silent for a moment as he contemplated what to say, “You lost the two most important people in your life. That’s not something that you just move on from and get over.”

Dropmix spoke from his own experience. He had found himself in a position just like Comet’s when he had lost Theremin. When his anger had finally run dry and his thirst for vengeance was finally quenched he had been just as lost. Just as alone. But Comet had something that he didn’t have when he was finally forced to face reality.

He had Jeopardy.

“But that doesn’t mean you just give up and take the easy way out,” his voice grew harsher, brow furrowing, unwanted emotions surfacing and making him bitter. He shouldn't be doing this. “I’m not going to argue that they wouldn’t have wanted you to do it, that you need to keep going for them, or that otherwise their sacrifice would have been for nothing.”

The large mech knew how easy it was to dismiss arguments like that. He had done so himself, plenty of times. And they never helped it hurt any less, nothing did really. He just learned to live with it, and Comet would in time. He just needed to live long enough to get there. Just like Dropmix had to.

He shook his head, gaze still locked onto the floor. His tone became more somber, “I’m not going to argue with you about them because it's not my place.”

The dark mech sighed and adjusted himself in his seat, “But I am going to tell you that if you kill yourself then their memory is going to die with you.”

Cometeater flinched at that.

Dropmix continued, just as blunt, “Their lives will be worth nothing more than a number. They will become just as unimportant as the millions of others lost in the war.”

Finally, Dropmix looked up at Cometeacter, who was still keeping his face tucked away and hidden. The gladiator didn’t care, he had shared what he wanted to. It was what had kept him going before he found Jeopardy, and maybe it would be enough to keep Comet going as well. He stood, straightening himself as he buried the emotions that risked spilling over the air of professionalism he kept himself contained in.

“Then they would really be gone, Cometeater. It would be like they never existed at all.”

The large mech didn’t wait for a response, turning to leave the room the moment he had finished. His heavy frame shifted as he reached for the door. He didn’t expect a response. He didn’t need one. But behind him, he heard the soft rustle of fabric, a barely audible inhale—Cometeater shifting, curling in on himself tighter.

That was enough.

The door clicked shut behind him.

[bendover-productions]

Sorry if you've already been informed of this, but in case you haven't, I just want you to know that Sam still has the teal pom pom hat! He said on the podcast that he misplaced it almost immediately and thought he had lost it, but that he found it in his bag once he got back!

NO!!! no one told me!!! 😭😭 thank you so much, that teal hat is incredibly important to me and i am delighted he still has it

^^^sam in that hat. to me tbh <3

[ilkkawhat]

i'm already trying to talk myself out of working tomorrow fuck!!

[lanternlightss]

missing venti hours

[hauntingblue]

Skypiea time part 2

She is a woman..... this is sanji's influence... in whiskey peak his slashes were non gendered

Ace just letting himself get pushed into the river like aight my bad I will take my punishment.... he really is so well mannered (it sounds like I'm talking about a dog)

Conis showing that nami influence.... gfs....

Nami and luffy twins moment look how relieved she is... this whole fight is so theirs...

Also how funny it is that the milk girl gave ace a shirt.... also new pants??? She must think he lost the shirt in the river.... no girl he is just a slut...

Nami: okay ❤️ yay ❤️

Noland just thinking about where karugara is and if he is alright in his EXECUTION!! SICK AND TWISTED

OMG BOUNDMAN INSPO????

NO ACEEE NOOOOOOOO

THE END OF ACES STORY IS THAT THE COFFE IS NO LONGER BITTER BC THEY SERVE IT WITH MILK AND WHY AM I EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT

[obnoxiousarcade]

Chatrooms online chatrooms im litterallt shaking

[ceramicbeetle]

i can't find the post now so maybe i've made it up entirely, who's to say, but i feel like i remember seeing a post about saccharina saying that she expects too much for the rest of the Rocks to treat her like family, but now that i'm actually watching the season, dude, she says multiple times that she doesn't care if they treat her like Family, she really just wants them to be decent to her and they refuse to even grant her that much