#and I'm scared ... and can't get over it without support....

[ddejavvu]

Omg so happy you still write for Remus! I have this idea and maybe you would like it. TW: mentions of wounds

So in most of fics with him during/after the full moon i see writers describing how Y/n is by his side, helping him to change bandages and other things like this, but what if Y/n is fucking scared of blood/cuts/wounds? 😭 Like dont get me wrong, i really REALLY love the idea of helping him and i love when writers describe these scenes so sweet and nicely, it makes my heart melt, but personally i would be terrified to help him 😭 Everytime i nick myself shaving im 2 steps away from fainting and just the sight of blood makes me sweat and want to throw up </3 So for the actual plot i was thinking maybe Y/n vising Remus in the hospital wing after a full moon and they basically cant look at him because he is covered in wounds. Poor boy would probably think its because he looks bad or something like this, but in reality its just Y/n who cant stand seeing people hurt </3

Sorry if this is so specific, just a thought that passed my mind this morning. Feel free to ignore my ask if you dont feel comfortable with the prompt. Thank you and dont forget to stay hydrated!!! <3

thank you love! i've never been queasy before around blood except just recently, maybe around the time i turned 18 i just can't handle it. instant nausea!! i feel seen <3

--

Remus's voice is dim as he watches the way your jaw clenches, a muscle protruding as you press your teeth together so hard he's surprised they haven't cracked, "I know I look terrible."

"You really did a number on yourself," You keep your voice sympathetic, your thumb rubbing over the back of his hand- perhaps the one place on his body that there isn't a fresh wound. There's old ones, milky white scars that criss-cross over his palm and knuckles, but it's just about the only part of him you can touch right now without making him bleed.

"You don't have to be here, you know." His voice gets hotter, something defensive and angry and terribly vulnerable, "You can't even look at me, just- you should go."

"What?" You blink bewilderedly, but the self-loathing in his voice clues you in, "Remus- no!"

"Go." He insists, tugging his hand out of your grip and turning over."

"Remus," You huff, and you'd pull him back by his shoulder if it wasn't eclipsed by a gaping gash, "You are so dramatic. I can't look at you because I can't handle the sight of blood, not because I'm having second thoughts about your humanity. I know you're a werewolf- that's old news, we've had very in-depth heart-to-hearts about the ethical dilemmas you concern yourself with. I don't care. I just get a little queasy around blood, that's all."

He peers suspiciously at you from over his shoulder, unwilling to speak yet in case you're going to call him a monster.

You think he's dumb, certainly, and too in his head, but not a monster. Never a monster, not your Remus.

"Remember the scar on the back of my head?" You ask, and Remus nods tentatively. He'd run his fingers over it while carding his hands across your scalp, but he'd been too polite to ask prying questions about it- not when you'd been so early in your relationship that he hadn't told you about his own yet.

"I got it when I cracked my head open at the hospital." You explain, "I was getting blood drawn and I blacked out. I hit the floor and split my head open."

"I'm just a little-" You swallow a gag, steeling yourself by looking at the floor instead of any of the cuts littering his arms, "-queasy sometimes, when it comes to open wounds, but-" You trail off again, your stomach heaving, "I am not going to leave you alone in this hospital wing, so stop wallowing, give me back your hand, and try not to get blood on me, please."

You're not looking at him, but you can practically feel the fondness oozing from him when his uninjured hand slides into yours. You squeeze it for comfort, then for support as you heave again, your body slouching as you slot your head between your legs.

"Hurry up and heal," You plead, trying to breathe air that isn't punctured by the brittle, metallic tang of blood, "I'm gonna barf."

[nyxnco]

I wish I could actually draw and write things for my hyperfixations but I'm so fucking scareeeddddd I'm so scared dude the part of me that cringes is constantly fighting against me and it's winningggggg

[maryellencarter]

i think the hill i'm going to die on here is that lasting anti-fascist activism begins and ends with unrestricted social services.

protests are great. kind of indispensable right now. but in times when we can be less reactive, you want to know what you're protesting *for*, not just against.

today i saw a post elseweb saying "why aren't white women fleeing maga? they have to know by now that tradwife means sex slave". and like... it's very simple. they can't leave because they would end up like me.

they're, we're, deliberately made unemployable so that we'll have to marry whatever mediocre white man picks us out. as it happened, i was unappealingly intersex, fat, butch, and autistic, so none of the mediocre white boys of my generation ever took a second look at me, but that didn't give me job skills or career connections.

i knew multiple women whose husbands divorced them and took the house as part of their midlife crises. they had to send the kids to live with relatives and take dead-end jobs like bagging groceries because they were in their forties with zero job experience. if they'd rejected the worldview, if they'd alienated their families and what few friends didn't victim-blame them for the divorces, they'd have had nowhere to turn.

it's been over twelve years since i got out. psychologically, medically, i'm healthier. but i've chased a fresh start through half a dozen states. i spent my inheritance getting a degree. none of it helped. there are no supports for abandoning (or being abandoned by) your support network.

you won't defeat fascism until my people are free to leave the cult if they realize they want out. until we can access free housing to get away from financial abuse, free comprehensive job training and placement services to help us start careers, national healthcare so we can flee across state lines if necessary without losing any medical care we're lucky enough to have access to, protections for children and teens so they can flee without needing a parent's help... universal basic income would be really good but there are smaller steps that could help with financial independence.

and it all has to be available to everybody, including people you think are "unworthy". people who hold the wrong opinions. drug addicts. people whose husbands or parents make too much money. people who aren't from around here. unrepentant bigots. if they want out, you have to give them a path out. minds can change later, once people are less scared and less pressured.

(i'm ex-catholic. do you want to hear about what happens when you force people to profess certain beliefs in order to access basic assistance? i have two thousand years of examples.)

"but if they really wanted out they'd do the Right Thing and leave without support!" Better to be one man's sex slave than turning tricks on the street. "staying just proves they're actually evil and there for the bigotry!" Live in your car for six months in 100°F heat, twice, and then talk to me again. There's no virtue in cutting yourself off from society just to prove some kind of moral point. All that does is get you dead or worse.

("JT, you're not dead" I'm a fucking cockroach. Most people would be dead by now. Survival bias goes both ways; we're not all the same model of airplane.)

[inkskinned]

it became like a point system, i guess.

it wasn't that he never did anything romantic or wonderful. he would do these things for me on occasion almost ritualistically - after i'd exhibited about four or five different breakdowns. he would finally book tickets to the symphony. we would finally spend a weekend in the mountains, drinking wine and listening to audiobooks. we would finally go on some serious expedition somewhere - no longer than a week, but it was felt. and those things would be 500, 700, 9000 points.

(at the time, as you know, i hadn't realized yet that it was always things that pertained to his interests. we did not go to poetry slams, we went to long and weird contemporary music festivals. we did not go to my places or be with my people - it was his places, his people. as ashamed as i am to admit it now: when he did begrudgingly allow me to cart him to my things, it still somehow became a point in his favor. that i brough him to the beautiful, sacred place of Acadia National Park earned him the 500 points - for his patience. for his willingness. for his sanctimony.)

and then he would cash in on those points and do virtually nothing. meanwhile, i'd buy dinner or send a card or call first or send a loving text or bring him little gifts. and these were all small things. they were 100, 200 points. i'd do this stupid, feminine, evil little domestic labor: the socks off the floor or getting groceries or remembering to turn the lights off or putting the seat down or whatever. the small "oopsie" partner things that you are supposed to accept. and those were all valued very low, as if i was in some kind of emotional arcade game. they'd be 5, 10, sometimes (in particularly rough moments) up to 50 points, if i was very generous with my cleaning and/or emotional supporting and/or romantic effort.

but the whole time, like clockwork, he'd call in on the points. remember when we went to new hampshire? or babe i just planned a date for you last month. on one very sweet moment, i remember him saying, without irony - why would i plan your birthday. i got you what you wanted for christmas. i am born in july, on the first. it had been 7 entire months. i had sent him the gift i had wanted - on reflection, had i not wanted him to "claim points" on something he hadn't put effort into? or was i just scared i'd be confronted with that same knowledge we've all had when opening a lackluster, terrible gift - this is fucking nothing. he claimed the points anyway, and i let him.

i don't know why i allowed it. i'm a feminist. i was already actively writing about emotional labor, all of that. but when you are raised in a house that loves anger, your whole body becomes an echo. you can't hear your own pain over the ache of your history. maybe it's just that it did feel - through catholic guilt or though my past or through my own passive and stupid fawning nature - like it made sense. yes, he did take me on a date last month! so what if he said i looked like a sausage in that dress (fully knowing of my eating disorder)? he had taken me on the date, which was kind of him.

i keep remembering how confused he was each time, holding up these little points in front of me. other men do it too sometimes - the men who assume they've earned enough "friendship" points to fuck me - but he was just so earnest about it. he didn't need to support me or hold me or be kind to me - he had already been kind, at one point, and now that job was over.

and i would stand in that little arcade of our lives and see my own score, bright and blazing above me. millions of points ahead of him, somehow, just because i was constantly trying. and i'd try to point it out to him and i would feel sort of dumb and obvious doing it. who can say i do your laundry is equivalent to we went to disney. but there it was, and there we were: him asking to win the biggest prize. the bright green monkey. and me, begging him - i just need you to show up for me consistently.

[keferon]

Part 2 of Golem!Prowl AU!

_____________________

“I hate it,” Orion sighs.

“It's understandable. But you can't change the system from the inside without becoming part of it first.”

“I was hoping I could become part of it without becoming a murderer.”

“It's okay” says Prowl ”You don't have to. That's what you have me for.”

Orion twitches.

Part 1. Next->

The fic under the cut⤵️

Orion looks...sick. Worried. Scared.

“Prowl, do you know what the Great Hunt is?”

Prowl tilts his head keeping up with the lists he received from the Council.

“Traditional raids on monsters made to consolidate control over the land holdings of regular Mechs.”

Orion rubs the bridge of his nose

“It's a massacre.”

Prowl twitches his wing.

“It is a measure of intimidation against creatures that cannot be negotiated with. Brutal, I don't deny that, but experience shows it works. The destructive activity of monsters lessens considerably if they know their actions can be followed by punishment.”

Orion stares at him. For a long time. Silently.

Tensely studying him, as if seeing him for the first time.

“You think killing them instead of finding a compromise is...right?”

Prowl thinks he must be treading on unstable ground.

“I think it works. That is all. Monsters do a lot of damage with their existence. They kill, destroy and pillage. If periodically reducing their numbers reduces their damage, it confirms the effectiveness of the strategy.”

“They just want to live. Primus' sake, they want to eat.”

Prowl sighs. More for appearances than for any real effect.

“I suppose I can't judge them for wanting to survive. It makes sense.”

Orion nods.

He looks oddly pensive.

“Ratchet keeps picking up wounded...” he stammers, apparently trying to find a suitable alternative to the word monster “...wounded beastformers. I've been to his house. It's generous, but I'm afraid of what will happen if he gets caught doing it.”

Prowl frowns

“He should have stopped.”

“You wouldn't understand.” sighs Orion ”Him. Shockwave. We want to help. To make things better. I don't need you to chide me for disobeying the rules, I need you to figure out how to change them. Ghosts and insecticons deserve freedom as much as we do.”

“But...”

Orion looks at him angrily.

“No. Whatever you're going to say in response to that. No. I know you're driven primarily by logic, but I need you to remember it well. All sentient beings deserve to live free. Do you understand? All of them. Period.”

Prowl rolls up the lists and interlocks his fingers in front of him. There are small scuffs on his thumbs and index fingers from constant writing. He occupies himself with running his fingers over them, feeling the difference in texture.

“Mech's freedom in such a case ends where someone else's hungry jaws begin. You can't expect monsters and Mechs to just coexist in peace if you give them freedom.”

“No” sighed Orion ”That's why I support Shockwave's idea with creating an academy for magically gifted Mechs. He's helping to show the world that so-called 'dark creatures' can be as civilized citizens as any Mech. He teaches them to find that compromise. We can't just expect centuries of hate and fear to be forgotten once the laws change. We must direct this process. To help the Mechs understand and accept each other. Guide them, you might say.”

Prowl feels a headache coming on, as it always does when Orion requires him to logically solve a problem the answer to which lies in the feelings rather than the intellect. He's not built for this. It irritates him.

Orion stops right in front of him and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Tell me what you think of this. If...let's pretend for a second that my morality fiddles don't matter anymore. That the problem of Mechs and monsters coexisting is something you alone need to solve. And solve it in such a way that the outcome is optimal for us as a society. To maximize the number of happy citizens. What would you do?”

Prowl is silent for a moment.

Orion squeezes his shoulder lightly before continuing.

“'Free from my judgmental conclusions, Prowl. From the standpoint of pure logic. What should we do?”

What to do...Prowl's thought process finally finds a direct and understandable train of thought. Monsters make up a paltry few percent of the population of all living Mechs. The numbers fluctuate depending on which region is being considered of course.

In some cities, some types of monsters are considered just fancy Mechs. Some monsters have risen from the status of savages to being respectable Mechs over the course of history. Even Orion's best friend, Shockwave, could be regarded as a mystical creature in some regions due to his gift of flight.

Nevertheless. The percentage is still minuscule.

But even that tiny percentage takes a significant toll on the economy and quality of life, because just one uncontrollable creature can terrorize an entire city.

He notes the weight of Orion's hand on his shoulder. Not judgmental. Orion promised he wouldn't judge.

“I'd get rid of the monsters.”

“Oh” Orion blinks ”Locked them in cages? Chased them away? Killed them?”

Prowl twitches his wings

“Banishment will only move the problem in terms of space, and imprisonment isn't secure enough. It would make sense to get rid of the monsters. Once and for all. It wouldn't be pretty or merciful, but it would greatly improve life for everyone, at the cost of a tiny percentage of living beings who were already of no use.”

“And you believe that would be a good outcome?”

“I believe it would.”

“But you're not a Mech yourself.” Orion reminds “Would you be willing to be exterminated along with the rest of the creatures if your plan were put into action?”

Prowl tilts his head slightly. Just to make it easier to look at Orion.

“You created me to, as you put it, help you make the world a better place. Sometimes in order to improve something you have to cut out the factors that get in the way. It's simple logic.”

“You didn't answer my question” Orion points out ”How would you feel if I decided to take your advice and destroy all mystical creatures, including you?”

“I am not made to feel” straightens Prowl ”My job is to find solutions to problems. I gave you a solution.”

“You don't include yourself in the reckoning.” snorts Orion “Again. You talk as if you will never be affected by anything.”

As it should be, Prowl thinks. He's a conscientious worker and a ..seemingly law-abiding citizen. He does what he can to make Mech's lives better. Even though he may not be a Mech, he's doing the right thing. Why would something happen to him?

Orion removes his hand from his shoulder and shakes his head.

“'Alright. I've heard you. But I want to make it as clear as possible - what you suggested is immoral, cruel, and should never be implemented. Do you understand me? Never. If you want to build a better world, you cannot and will not build it on other people's deaths. Have I made myself clear enough?”

“Perfectly clear.”

“Good.”

-----------------

Ratchet looks...many words could be used to describe him.

He's standing in the center of the trial room with a lot of emotions written all over his face. But if Prowl had to describe - he'd say Ratchet practically radiates rage. Not violent. More of a powerless one.

The rage of a Mech who knows he's cornered, but refuses to even consider giving up and admitting defeat.

Prowl sits in a far dark corner, silently documenting the whole process.

The council is furious. They apparently discovered that Ratchet has been dragging wounded monsters to his house and healing them all this time.

Which is ... very much as expected from Ratchet.

Prowl wants Orion here, but both Orion and Shockwave are now on a diplomatic mission a few days away, so the only support Ratchet has is...Prowl. Who can't help in any way, so he just sits there and meticulously documents the whole process so that Orion can then be informed of every single detail.

The council doesn't look happy. They say that Ratchet is sabotaging the hunters' efforts to contain the monsters by his actions.They are angered by Ratchet's absolute determination to insist that he was doing the right thing.

Prowl would be impressed, if only Ratchet's stubbornness made sense.

It's simple math. Ratchet saves lives. Monsters take them.

Thus Ratchet's life has much, much more weight and is more valuable.

If Ratchet would just accept the Council's decision now and promise to stop curing monsters, the whole problem would be solved as efficiently as possible.

But Ratchet, of course, persists. Probably just because that's his nature.

Ratchet can also afford to be so stubborn because his skill level makes him incredibly valuable to the Council. Prowl knows for a fact that if any other medic were in Ratchet's shoes right now - they would have been sentenced to banishment or execution by now.

When Ratchet realizes exactly how the Council caught him, his rage is instantly replaced by shock.

This revelation is enough to startle him and make him back down. To nod and numbly swear that he will end his "blasphemous hobby."

Prowl carefully folds the scribbled scrolls into the case as the Council doors close behind both his and Ratchet's backs.

“Orion will be happy to know that you were prudent enough to avoid death.”

Ratchet shifts his gaze to him

“You knew? Knew they could see through our optics? Did you know they could find out anything about any Mech at any time?”

Prowl tucks his hands behind his back and nods politely

“Knowing things is my job.”

Ratchet sighs. Heavy. Exhausted. Doomed maybe.

“How does Orion deal with it...”

“Orion has a reputation with the Council. They consider him a decent, law-abiding Mech, so they see no point in keeping tabs on him.”

“Are you kidding?” Raetchet raises his eyebrows “Orion can't do everything he does and remain ‘decent’ in their eyes. He and Shockwave practically cuddle with every possible creature every day and all they get is a little reprimand????”

Prowl tilts his head

“Orion learned to look away in time. And he has me for everything else.”

Ratchet doesn't answer him. He rubs the bridge of his nose tiredly and starts to walk away.

His shoulders look oddly tense. He looks defeated, but not in the way a Mech would describe a slain turbofox. No. There is a deep-seated, angry determination.

A willingness to act dictated by desperation.

The news of the surveillance has thrown Ratchet off balance but not knocked him off his feet as the Council had hoped.

Prowl looks at his back and walks off in the opposite direction. The problems of living, feeling Mechs have always been and will always be mysterious to him.

Ratchet does what no one expects him to do.

He doesn't stage protests. He doesn't accept the verdict.

He leaves silently, taking with him only medical supplies and an old lantern.

The council is furious, turning over every stone in an attempt to find him, but all in vain.

Prowl's daily duties now include “keeping track of any possible news related to Ratchet.“

And then, no matter what he finds, report to Orion that he's found nothing.

Put on a little regular show for all concerned. Show the Mechs in the Council that Orion remains loyal and does his best to find and bring to justice any blasphemer whether it's a friend of his or not.

He is his purpose. But the more time passes, the harder it becomes for him to trace the path to the fulfillment of that purpose. He envies the golems whose only function is to scrub floors. Their lives are understandable. A clean floor is a temporary but easily attainable goal. They are happy to fulfill the goal for which they were created. And then they're happy knowing their job is done well, until the floor gets dirty again.

Prowl is walking towards his goal, but it's not getting any closer. He knows what he needs to do to get there, but the variables are constantly changing and he has to adjust his course of action each time according to new information, conditions, and Orion's opinion on them.

Politics is infinitely more complicated than mopping floors after all.

————————————

Orion doesn't turn around on him as they walk down the hall. But Prowl can physically feel the attention focused on him.

“Prowl. Did you know I was awarded today for my ''outstanding service'' by the entire Council?”

“I did not.

“They've gone through all the reports and discovered that according to the logs me and my mechs are performing excellently when it comes to eliminating mystical threats.”

“Congratulations.”

“It's funny that you feel the need to congratulate me too” Orion continues ”Because I certainly didn't give orders to eliminate anyone.”

Their pacing doesn't falter. They continue to walk calmly down the hallway as if nothing is happening. But Prowl can practically taste the increased tension.

“Prowl” says Orion “Why is the Council rewarding me for murder? And where are the Mechs they think I killed now?”

Prowl checks the scrolls. Not because he doesn't remember. Just to buy some time to formulate an answer.

“They were the inevitable casualties. I took charge of their destruction. On your behalf.”

“You know how I feel about killing.”

“I know.” nods Prowl for some reason. Why? Not that Orion can see it “I also know how the Council feels about Mechs showing suspicious activity. They would have started watching you as soon as they noticed you were letting monsters slip away from you suspiciously often.”

Orion...sounds... conflicted. He sounds struggling.

“You killed them.”

“I gave the order. As any other hunter would have done in my place.”

Orion stops so abruptly that Prowl doesn't catch the moment and bumps into his back.

“We're supposed to be better than other hunters Prowl! How can you still not grasp that concept!!!”

Orion looks furious. Prowl discreetly looks around.

Around them is a relatively empty hall. Windows covered by heavy curtains. The cleaning golems scurrying back and forth.

“I understand” he says “But let me remind you that you cannot test their trust infinitely. Your 'being better' rests on your reputation. And it's my job to make sure your reputation lives up to it.”

Orion looks at him...Prowl isn't even sure how to describe it. Usually he has to argue with Orion's logic, proving his point but this time...Orion is the one arguing with him.

It feels strange. Uncomfortable.

He's doing everything Orion wanted him to do, but for the sake of it he has to do something Orion can't stand.

Orion clenches and unclenches his fists helplessly. Rubbing the fabric of his cloak.

“Shockwave can save lives without killing anyone.”

“Shockwave is one unfortunate act away from serious consequences” shakes his head Prowl “His academy is looking more and more like his own small army every day. His students are not loyal to the Council, they are loyal to Shockwave. And the Council knows that. And will use it. And it won't be pretty when it happens.”

“No...” shakes his head Orion, not addressing anyone in particular ”No no no no no...”

Prowl can understand why Orion is upset. But he also knows he's right this time. Shockwave may look like a fine example of mercy, but he walks on the very edge of the law and any wrong move will instantly turn him from “out of the box thinker” to renegade.

The Council will come for his head and the Council will get his head because Shockwave will have nothing to prove his loyalty with.

Orion will. Prowl made sure of that.

Orion can bend the rules, can borrow the Council's trust, can do all sorts of reprehensible things. He can stumble and fall and then fall a couple more times and find that it doesn't hurt him because Prowl caught him even before he stumbled.

He did it at the cost of lives. Yes.

But Orion's life is far more valuable than the lives of monsters.

Society doesn't need monsters to become better, but society needs Orion. Monsters need Orion. Because if Orion is gone, no one else will care about his idealistic goal.

“Sometimes I forget how creepy you can be...” mutters Orion ”You're going to betray me sooner or later.”

“I could never betray you.” Prowl twitches his wing.

“You've successfully betrayed what I believe in.”

“It's fine with me if you hate me for it. As long as you are alive, safe, and can continue your quest.”

Orion falls silent.

He turns away to stare at a strip of light from a nearby window. There are beautiful, wrought iron grates that cast an intricate, curved shadow on the floor and walls.

A golem janitor hurries past them.

“I hate it,” Orion sighs.

“It's understandable. But you can't change the system from the inside without becoming part of it first.”

“I was hoping I could become part of it without becoming a murderer.”

“It's okay” says Prowl ”You don't have to. That's what you have me for.”

Orion twitches.

Shockwave falls.

Prowl isn't there to see for himself, but a lot of rumors reach him. Lots. Lots of rumors.

The Mechs say the time of the Great Hunt has come.

They say that when the hunters arrived on the Academy's doorstep, Shockwave didn't let them in.

They say. He stood in front of the gates.

With sword in one hand and the Primus Covenant in the other, and declared that his school was a sanctuary for all living beings in need of protection.

Claimed that anyone who dared set foot inside with a weapon would have to go through him.

“And they retreated!” gestures Orion frantically ”They didn't dare test him! They backed away from the walls of the Academy. I don't know how many monsters were left alive in the forests that night, but none of Shockwave's students were harmed...”

Prowl listens with a healthy dose of wariness

“The Council wouldn't just let him do that.”

Orion begins nervously winding circles around the room.

“You're right, you're right. You're right now and you were right back then. They're going to bring him before the Court by tomorrow, and...”

“There's no chance of that ending well,...is there?" Prowl finishes his thought.

Orion looks pained

“They'll be going through everything he's been up to. Every forged document, every enrolled Mech who by all criteria should be considered a monster. Every time he sheltered them from the Council instead of destroying them. They'll realize what he's been doing and they won't like it at all.”

Prowl...trying to sound reassuring.

“Shockwave has tremendous support from his Academy. There's a chance the Council will be afraid of invoking their wrath and won't judge Shockwave too harshly.”

Orion continues to walk in circles

“You think so?”

“There is a good chance.”

Prowl finds Orion in Sickbay. Which is very disturbing and wrong, because Orion was supposed to be at the Trial. Supporting Shockwave and begging the Council to relent.

But Orion is in Sick Bay. When he shouldn't be.

And he's covered in ugly dark burns. From something Prowl can't recognize.

This is all wrong. It's all--

“What happened at the trial?”

Orion sounds. Startled.

“There was no Trial.”

“What?”

Orion sounds as if something inside him has cracked. In every sense of the phrase.

“The Trial hasn't even had time to begin. He...” Orion clutches his trembling fingers, hoping to still them, but it has no tangible effect. His shoulders are trembling.

He looks like his whole body could be torn apart with one careless touch. “They asked him if he would plead guilty to aiding and abetting dark creatures. All they had time to ask was if he realized he was wrong.”

An uncomfortable, prickly feeling settles in Prowl's mind.

"And?”

Orion squeezes his fingers so hard the creaking of hinges becomes audible.

“It...I...Prowl, his very spark began to ooze dark magic. It was horrible, it was like.. it was eating him from the inside. The entire courtroom became darker than night, many Mechs got burned. I've never seen anything like this before! He..It.. started attacking Mechs and destroying everything...it was like it went crazy...it attacked me and I had to...Prowl I had to fight it! I didn't...I'd heard about it happening but I believed until the last minute that I wouldn't have to face it...”

Gears of chaotic detail fall into place in Prowl's mind.

“Shockwave...turned into a demon...?”

Orion nods shakily

“The Council didn't even have a chance to sentence him or spare him or even sort out what happened.....

He stated that he did not consider himself guilty for what he had done and...Primus was the one who made the judgment before anyone else could...”

That's... terrifying really. For a number of reasons. Losing a close friend is awful, being subjected to such merciless punishment is awful, but also...

What sends a chill down Prowl's back is the moral implication that such punishment carries.

Orion, as if reading his thoughts, raises his gaze to him

“Is what we are doing...wrong? I don't...does Primus think helping monsters is worthy of punishment?”

Now that's a really reasonable question.

Shockwave would say that Primus is merciful and would never condemn a Mech for an act of kindness. But Shockwave ended up being condemned.

Ratchet would say that he doesn't care about Primus' opinion because Primus isn't real. But Ratchet isn't here.

Prowl wants to say that it doesn't matter whether or not Primus thinks they're wrong, what matters is that he can at any moment force his justice on any living spark, so his concept of right has to become Orion's too, or else he's doomed. But Orion is definitely in no state to have a philosophical argument. He looks shattered and Prowl almost instinctively is about to go and find Shockwave, but remembers that option is no longer available.

He's not made for this. Shockwave has always been the one to cheer Orion up on a bad day. Not Prowl, no. Prowl isn't sure what to do so he just sits down next to him and gently places a hand on Orion's shoulder. The one where he can't see the burns, so it shouldn't hurt.

“I don't. I'm used to always relying on your point of view as a reference for what's right and what's wrong.”

“I know” runs a shaky hand over his face Orion “But it's not like I'm perfect. I try, god, I try but just like with the logical part - my vision isn't flawless. Have I been...wrong all this time? Trying to disrupt Primus' intended vision? Maybe what I've been trying to fix never needed fixing. Maybe it's just me being so stupid and not understanding things maybe...???”

Orion cuts himself off mid sentence, realizing that he's started raising his voice and waving his arms around again. He sits back down on the medical bed and curls back up into a miserable ball.

“What should I do....”

“I don't know,” Prowl repeats awkwardly.

He is his goal. But his goal ..doesn't exist anymore?

He doesn't know where to put himself.

Golems are made to fulfill requests. But Orion's request system has been evolving and complicating for so long that Prowl can't tell where its boundaries are anymore.

He feels lost.

——————————

Orion stops cold.

“What...”

Prowl, standing at his right hand looks equally puzzled.

They are in a spacious courtyard bordering directly on the Council building. It's a very beautiful, open and spacious place because it was originally built with large crowds of Mechs in mind. There's wide walkways, a massive circular plaza with fountains and statues.

And right now, it's filled to the brim with Mechs, most of whom Prowl is seeing for the first time. They're all wearing knight armor and carrying weapons, however still kept in their scabbards.

They look like a small army. A very, very diverse army, Prowl realizes. Because there are almost no regular Mechs among them.

Orion looks... distraught.

Mechs? Monsters? A few knights separate and come closer, bowing their heads respectfully.

“Orion Pax.”

There is so much grief and disbelief in Orion's eyes that it physically hurts to look at him.

When he begins to speak his voice sounds hoarse, like someone has poured sand down his throat.

“What...what are you doing here...?”

The knight standing in front of everyone ceremoniously places his palm on his spark.

“We are here to fulfill the last will of our mentor and your friend. Shockwave has decreed in his last will that in the event of his death his legacy must pass to you and those of us who wish to carry on his work must publicly pledge our allegiance to your will.”

Orion clutches his hands together to keep them from starting to shake again.

“But...I was there. I...your mentor was slain by my hands...how can you..."

"It doesn't matter. Everything that was his is now yours." smiles the knight sadly "We will make sure his legacy lives on. And even if the Academy falls - you can always count on us."

At the same time as he finishes speaking, the knight in blue armor drops to one knee, pulling Shockwave's sword from its sheath and holding it out respectfully to Orion... who looks like he's about to start crying.

He dazedly accepts the sword, twitching in surprise when it turns out to be heavier than expected and probably tries to say something, but all that comes out is a short sorrowful sigh.

He just.

Clutches the sword to his chest, watching in disbelief as all the arriving mechs get down on one knee following the blue knight. There aren't that many mechs, but at this point - they seem to rival the sea.

Prowl knows some of them. Many of them made their way to Shockwave after Orion found them. There's the harpy over there who nearly ripped Orion's head off the first time they met. A few ghosts he can remember the faces of but doesn't know the names. He'd had a long argument with Orion that day, trying to convince him that he shouldn't take their word for it when they promised to make it up to him.

And now they're all here. In beautiful new armor. Executing their mentor's last will and testament.

Just like regular Mechs, only a little eccentric looking.

The crowd of hunters that has come to find out what's going on looks as speechless and dumbfounded as Orion.

" What" Orion also gets down on one knee to be on the same level as the knight "what's your name?"

Prowl squints warily from behind Orion's shoulder. The blue mech looks normal, but to be honest, there's no way someone coming out of the Shockwave Academy is going to be an normal plain mech. There has to be a catch somewhere.

"My name is Skids," smiles the knight shyly. "I am...was...Shockwave's best student."

"You are very brave Skids" smiles Orion sorrowfully "I promise to do my best to take care of Shockwave's legacy. And you."

Orion drops his head on the table tiredly.

"This is crazy..."

Prowl pulls an important document from under Orion's head

"It's also quite devious. Shockwave told them specifically to swear to you where all comers can see it. So there's no way for the Council to accuse you of purposely swaying an army of monsters to your side. Everyone saw that this gift was given by force. Now you have many allies with unique skills who are loyal to you and the Council won't try to take them away because they are firmly convinced that you are loyal to the Council."

Prowl examines the document for damage before setting it aside.

"It is..."

"Shockwave gave you an opportunity."

"And I don't know what to do with it!" raises his head Orion "Shockwave was smarter than me and made a lot of plans in case of...I don't know...anything?? I didn't...Prowl. We've been down this path for so long and I was always sure there would be something good at the end of it. Or at least better than it is now..."

Orion rubs his chin and shakes his head awkwardly

"...But if there's only the wrath of Primus and endless darkness at the end...I can't ask anyone to follow me there. I'm not sure if I can keep going myself..."

He sighs helplessly

"I'm not even sure if that even matters."

"The chance that Shockwave would try to use you in some way was about twenty-eight percent."

Orion twitches

"What?"

"I understand that you're hurt by his...fate." Says Prowl "But have you considered the possibility that Shockwave was being punished for betraying you rather than the Council?"

Orion doesn't even answer at first. Just looks at him dazed and bitter.

"Prowl...no. He couldn't have."

"I'm just speculating" shrugs Prowl "Shockwave was punished but as far as I know God didn't bother to name the exact charge. We don't know one hundred percent what exactly caused his...sentence. He may have betrayed the Council's ideas, or he may have betrayed yours."

They both just exist in silence for a while. Processing the information.

"If...and I mean if!!! If Shockwave was convicted of harboring monsters, then everything we've been doing all this time can be considered useless blasphemy..." says Orion slowly "...but if he was punished for something else..."

"...then that would mean there's nothing wrong with your idea." finishes Prowl.

Orion frowns

"It would also mean that Shockwave lied to me..."

Prowl nods. The situation is ugly no matter which way you look at it.

Shockwave, as Prowl knows him, would hardly have framed Orion, but Mechs tend to go to great lengths to avoid execution.

If Shockwave had shifted some of the blame to Orion then, it would have partially saved him. Was that what he was going to do? Was this what Primus had stopped him from doing?

Orion's finials twitch slowly

"I don't know Prowl. I don't know what to do. I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of my fantasies."

Orion is hard to read, but right now he's an open book.

Prowl tilts his head

"You're scared."

Orion looks. Defeated. Crumpled.

Discolored.

" I am."

Prowl can't work with that. He's used to solving logical problems and making lists and strategies.

He doesn't know how to get someone to stop being scared.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"I don't know." mutters Orion "I don't know, I have no idea. It's too much...All these new knights, this whole council situation and now you're also saying that the mech I treasured the most could actually be a liar and...just leave me alone."

"But..."

"Just go away!" shakes his head Orion "Go find something else to do, find a hobby, I don't know! Get out of my head and out of my personal life!"

Prowl nods silently.

Places a couple papers in their places and silently walks out the door.

Gestures a greeting to some mech passing by.

And is completely unsure of what to do with himself.

Orion's too stunned by everything that's happened to give him a clear purpose. And without a purpose, he...he's gone.

He continues to stand by the closed door.

A thought runs obsessively through his mind.

If Shockwave was sentenced for something no one knew about, then punishing him the moment of that trial was a truly terrible decision and even worse timing.

But if Shockwave was sentenced for helping monsters...Prowl isn't sure why his mind resists the idea.

Maybe he's not being objective because he shares Orion's views and aspirations.

Maybe because he has looked at the entire square filled with dangerous monsters and has seen nothing but sorrow and respect in them.

The idea comes naturally.

Then God must be wrong.

He looks at the cleaning golems again. He envies them.

They are peace and contentment.

They are a clear and simple goal.

Probably the biggest stress that happens to them is random mechs passing by and interfering with their cleaning.

And then there's Prowl, standing by with no meaning or purpose and wishing he could throw something heavy because the one who gets in his way is an indefinable force of nature and a complex system of values and beliefs created by millions of years of cultural development....

But Primus can't stop him, can he?

Prowl is not alive. He has no emotion so that his intentions can be categorized as evil, but more importantly he has no spark so that its magic can turn him into a demon.

He is his purpose. His purpose is his god. And Primus stands in his way.

He turns around and walks away.

[sweet-and-sour-bites]

https://www.tumblr.com/sweet-and-sour-bites/763257255073349632/can-i-have-burning-spice-cookie-x-reader-who-is-a?source=share

Different anon here....saw this and loved it and one line gave me an idea for a request....can you do burning spice x ticklish scardycat reader? Like reader was very scared of him at first and burning spice took em in as a 'you are so adorably pathetic, unable to even defend yourself because of your fear and you bend at tickling? Someone that weak needs to he protected...that's it, you're mine now' and then just throws them over their shoulder lmao...

Of course hun! Love this idea.

☁️Burning Spice Cookie x Scaredy cat Gn!Reader

The sandy wasteland stretches on and on before your eyes. The air is dry and makes your throat cry out for a fresh cup of sweet juice. Though you hate to cross such a deserted wasteland, you must. Sent by Dark Cacao himself to warn Golden Cheese Cookie of the arrival of the Beasts.

Your feet ache as you cross from the snowy ice land to the sandy plains to reach her. You dare not stop in fear of what could happen, though. Just as you begin to lose yourself to your thoughts, a loud noise startles you. Up ahead, you see a large cloud of dust and sand. Though scared and trembling from the thought of trouble that is just over yonder, you brace yourself and run towards it.

Reaching the area in a few minutes, you walk through a chasm of fallen rocks. Looking around, you notice the gashes and burn marks littering the ground and cliffs. Suddenly, something is flung just before you into the wall to your right. Stepping back, you brandish your sword at the new hole in the wall.

*Cough* *Cough* "Goodness me, what and utter brute." Your eyes widen as you see Golden Cheese Cookie herself stumble out of the hole.

"Your majesty!" You rush over to her and help her to her feet as best as you can. Though you only reach about waist height for her, you know it's better to have some support than none. She's looks down at you confused and worried.

"Young one, what are you doing here?! You shouldn't be here! You need to leave at once!" You shake your head.

"I am a messenger sent by Dark Cacao. He needed me to warn you of a Beast coming to claim your soul jam for himself." You saw her grimace.

"Unfortunately, it is too late. He is already here."

"So, you think I'm the thief, little cookie?" Your eyes widen at the sound of a deep and rough voice from above. Looking up, you see a large cookie that just screams danger. With a golden smirk, he leaps from his perch and drops down just aways away from you and Golden Cheese Cookie. The dust around him settles, and you find yourself staring at each other. Him, filled with curiosity and excitement. You, terrified and worried.

"You carry a sword, will you fight against me too?" He points the tip of his weapon at you, but Golden Cheese Cookie pushes you behind her.

"Don't you dare! She's but a messenger, not a soldier." She glares at the large cookie with a fierce look that could send you running home. For a moment, the Beast looks over at her the back at you before smirking and raising his weapon.

"She should've thought about that before coming here." Without a second to waste, he charges at the two of you. Golden Cheese Cookie pushes you away from the fight and parrys his attack.

"Run! Get out of here now! Warn Dark Cacao!" With that, you high tail it away from the fight in hopes of making back to your king. That Beast was right; you're no soldier. The sword you have is simply to deter others from attacking. You don't know how to fight.

The sounds of the battle draw further from you as you run. You'd say over twenty minutes have passed since you left, and you now find yourself in the ruins of an old palace. What can you say, you can't fight but you can sure run. Slowing down you take a breath and pull out a sheet of paper.

"Your Majesty, I find myself sending you this letter on behalf of Golden Cheese Cookie. She is currently fighting the Beast Cookie that is out for her soul jam. I am running from the fight in her orders. Please send immediate assistance to the Golden Cheese desert asap. With regards, (Y/n) Cookie."

With the letter written, you bring out a small blackberry bird and tie it to its foot. "Hurry, give this letter the his majesty Dark Cacao. Waste no time. Go!" At your words, the little bird flys off in a hurry. You sigh in exhaustion and slid against one of the old crumbled pillars.

"Oh little cookie~ Come out, come out wherever you are~"

You shoot up quickly and run over to a more hidden pile of rubble. How? How did here reach you so soon?! Shouldn't he be fighting Golden Cheese Cookie?! Unless......oh no. She must be badly hurt for him to be here without worrying about her. Oh, you hope the king will be here soon.

"Oh come now, no need to be scared. I won't hurt you. Much. Hahaha!" You close your eyes and cover your mouth to prevent any sound. Sliding down to the ground, you begin to shake in fear. Dammit! You know everyone else was busy in the kingdom, but why did they have to send you?! You can't fight!

You're too scared too.

All becomes silent, and with what little courage you have, you open your eyes. Oh fuck. You feel a shiver go down you spine as you see a large shadow block what light was on you. Slowly looking up you see the large beast stand above you, looking down at you with a sharp, golden grin. "Found you~"

"Ahhh!" Fear course through you as you dodge his attack. Without much haste, you run deeper into the ruins. You hear the loud steps of that brute not too far behind you. Risking it, you look behind you and see him gaining on you. That is until your world fumbles and you fall.

You feel a pain course through your leg as you hit the ground. You take a peak at it as you see a gaping would with jam running out. You let your head fall and curl in on yourself. "Why? Why me? Why was I sent here? I can't fight, I can't." You wallow in your self-pity as Buring Spice stalks towards you. Standing over you, he lets his eyes wonder over your form.

Normally, seeing a cookie wallow would bore or anger him. However, he must admit, you are quite the looker. Soft dough and a soft heart. You cower from him, which is odly...satisfying. He takes the end of his weapon and puts it under your chin, moving your head to look at him. You look up at the beast with tears in your eyes and fear in your heart. He smirks down at you and bends over.

"Mhm, how about a deal, scaredy cat?" You give a little nod, not trusting your voice. "You'll come with me as a sort of...pet or spoil of war, and I won't turn that so called queen to crumbs." Your eyes widen at his words. Either way, you're at his mercy, but hopefully, you can bide time for Golden Cheese Cookie and his majesty. At least then you can help in some way.

"I'll go with you." Your voice comes out just a little above a whisper. Cracking from the running, crying, and heat. He smirks and pulls you up, tossing you over his shoulder.

"Haha, wise choice, scaredy cat! Ha, I think I shall call you just that. After all, with how much you tremble and cower, it is but a fitting name." You don't say anything as you try to make resting on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes a little more comfortable. He begins to walk out of the ruins, and you feel yourself sawy to motion, causing you to feel a little sick. Stupid motion sickness. You really are a miserable fool. You can't fight, you're always scared, and now, motion sickness to top it all off.

Burning Spice notices this and stops walking. He pulls you from his shoulder and holds you with one arm. You look up at his with confusion. "This seems to be better. Don't want you throwing up your guts now, do we?" You nod, a little embarrassed, and the two of you continue on.

Good grief, what have you gotten yourself into. From a simple cowardly messenger to a Beast Cookies' pet. Damn, you feel as if your body is shot with how anxious you are. You can only hope Dark Cacao will save you in time. You do wonder though, what will become of you, as Buring Spice Cookies' little pet.

[ms-demeanor]

hi, hopefully this isnt a stupid question -- this is only my second election i'm voting in, and i'm a little confused about results. is it actually confirmed that trump has won, or is it just almost certain based on the counted votes? bc i know that provisional ballots (like mine) probably arent immediately counted, and there was that thing about votes needing to be verified because of signatures, plus to my knowledge the electoral college doesnt vote til december? i'm probably just grasping at an infinitesimal chance of things not being shit, but also i do actually want to understand and google is not helping :( if you can't explain no worries, you just seem to be knowledgable & willing to answer questions haha

This is absolutely not a stupid question.

So everything is currently pointing at what is most likely, not at what is 100% certain, but it's like 99% certain. There are still votes being counted, but in the states where the election has been called it has been called either because enough of the ballots have been counted that the remaining count wouldn't change the results, or that the area is historically so strongly in favor of one party that it's exceptionally unlikely that they'd flip the other way (for example, they're still counting california's ballots but you're more likely to get struck by lightning five times today than california is to flip red in this election). The places that have not yet been called do not have enough electoral votes for Harris to win the election.

The electoral college is exceedingly unlikely to flip their votes against the state/district vote; "Faithless electors" is the term for members of the electoral college who would vote against the vote they are committed to for their region. It was something discussed in both the 2016 election and the 2020 election and flipping the electoral college without winning the election was the motivation behind J6. As shitty and bullshit as I think the electoral college is, if you're going to have one and you're going to have the rule of law, you can't hope for faithless electors because what you're hoping for at that point is that the people representing you are acting directly against the choice of the voters.

I want you to listen to me. I have been voting in presidential elections since 2004. Presidential elections always suck. Who the president is does matter, and does impact your life, but you genuinely do not have a ton of influence over that so you can't let it throw you into despair and inaction, because we should be active and political and protesting the wrongs of the world even if your favored political party wins. Vote in local elections, work with your local community, and if your local community sucks too, work with online communities to both give and get support.

Whenever something like this happens, people pass around the Mr. Rogers quote about looking to the helpers. I like that quote. I think it's good, I think it's hopeful, I think it helps! But I also think that sometimes it's even more effective if you look for how to help. Who are you the most scared for after this election? Who are you worried about in your community or among your friends? What can you do that might make their life easier? What can you do to protect people like that in your community? What don't you know that might make you better prepared to help them in the future?

One thing that I think is a fantastic way to prepare to help is to either begin or continue learning a language that you don't know. I am working hard on my Spanish because I live in California and there are a ton of Spanish speakers here who I might be able to help. Is it directly aiding anyone right at this second that I'm practicing conjugation? No. But it might help someone who is being harassed by a cop, or who is unhoused and needs help, or who is being abused by an employer at some point in the future, and I can get myself ready to help. Learn how to use naloxone and pick up up an inhaler; you might not need it now, but it'll make you ready to help someone who does need it. Order free covid tests every chance you get, even if you don't need them, because then you can give them out to people who do need them. Plan B has a multi-year shelf life. Pick some up so that you've got some on hand if someone needs it.

Maybe there's nothing you can do right at this exact second (though if you are able to donate to gender affirmation fundraisers, border kindness, abortion funds, bail funds, etc., you can absolutely do that), but you can get ready to help someone who will need you someday.

[foxgirlmoth]

I feel really bad asking for help but I've been unable to work for a few weeks now. I've been doing a lot of physical work and my body feels like its just broken down for good at this point, and I'm terrified tbh. I've been putting my girlfriend who I live with under financial stress due to my inability to pay for bills besides my own even while I was working, but now I'm sinking more into the negatives and I desperately need help. I can't keep putting this strain on her income, and I need to be able to live while I'm getting tests done by doctors to figure out why I'm in constant pain and can barely move these days. I recently went to the ER for the pain and how it affected me mentally very recently, and I feel very lost and scares these days.

Long story short, disabled trans woman looking for any financial help.

Here's a link to my Ko-fi, I'm not currently doing commissions as I haven't been able to work on past ones for a long while (I will get those to you eventually, as best as I can, I promise I haven't forgotten) Ko-fi is the easiest but feel free to reach out if it isn't an option. Sorry and thank you for your time.

I'll put more info under a read more, if you want more of an explanation about my health and why I'm scared and struggling.

I've had chronic pain, mostly situated in my chest (which is terrifying, I'm sure you can guess why) since I was 12, well over half my life ago at this point. The pain mostly showed up while stressed or working out a lot, stuff like that. Over the years it got slightly worse, but starting about 2 years ago or so, the pain started getting exponentially worse and worse. November of 2023 I went to an urgent care due to pain while I had a slight cold, and I ended up seeing my primary doctor about the pain. It was misdiagnosed (by a different doctor) when I was younger as Chostochondritis, but that from what I remember has no cases of being chronic. I went through a few different meds to try and help with the pain, and my current dr said I most likely had fibromyalgia, gave me some meds that often help with the pain from it, and he was right.

Day 1 of taking the meds made me feel the best I had in years, but sadly, due to working a very physical job for about the past 6 months, my body feels more worn down than ever. I worked this same job only a few years ago working over 40 hours a week, but I could barely keep up working only around 14. On top of all this, I might also have rheumatoid arthritis or something else going on as well, which is compounding the pain. Ngl its been extremely depressing and stressful watching myself in real time being unable to work and do things I could do only a couple of years ago. I used to be able to work and go to college at the same time, but most days I can't shower without needing to take at least an hour of rest afterwards. I'm scared, I'm angry at my own inabilities, especially for things I've been able to do before, and I'm no longer living alone and I watch as all of the financial struggles now affect my beloved girlfriend as well.

I've tried getting on disability and got denied, and need to resubmit when I'm allowed to. I'm at a loss and I'm just constantly terrified, and I don't know what to do. Sorry.

[tiramissyoucake]

I would LOVE to see a fic based on your different roles thingy with the variants, especially the pastry chef and idol one! <3

THANK YOU THANK YOU IVE BEEN WAITING RAAAAAAH HERE ARE 2 SNIPPETS not as good as I hoped but I hope ya'll like it

Based on this

Full-Mask Invincible:

"Is that all, then?" You were sweeter than the desserts in the display case, Mark nodded his head absentmindedly, a light pink dusting his cheeks with a dopey smile, he should say something.

"Yeah.. hey— uh, I... really love the cupcakes you make, I was never a big 'dessert' guy, but yours?" He made a chef's kiss gesture prompting a small laugh from you, embarrassing but effective. "Can't go a day without 'em."

Your smile was adorable as your hard work was praised. "Thank you! I usually have to make them really early and then put them here myself," you explained while gesturing to the kitchen doors in the back then the case infront of you. "Helps that I open before lunch rush."

He nodded in acknowledgment as he tugged out the sum for his dessert's cost from his wallet. "Smart! I'd gladly trample over a few businessmen to get the last few cookies." His joke invoked another laugh, damn. He was on fire today.

As you carefully wrapped up the box and placed it in a paper bag, you caught a glimpse of the cake pops you kept near the register. "Here, two cake pops, on the house!"

His eyebrows went up at that, his mom loved those. "Wait, are you sure? C'mon, you gotta let me pay—"

"I insist! Consider it thanks for supporting local businesses!" God, your smile, your tone. He was ready to melt into a puddle then and there.

. . .

Seeing you again, in a world that wasn't his shook him to his core, he remembers the catastrophe your bakery went through; an explosion. Someone tried to take something away from him and they killed you. baked goods that never got displayed or even tasted, you were crushed under the rubble.

His body moved before his mind could send any commands, shooting straight for you through the clouds, buildings and whatever running civilians remained, his arms clamping down around you.

"It's you— you're alive- I can't believe you're-" his rambling went on as he let out a sigh of relief, your fear and shaking hands unknown to him. "Mark?! What're you doing here?!"

"What do you mean? I'm here for you!" He pulled back, his face fully obscured save for the goggles, you could barely see tears behind the translucent material. "God— you're just as beautiful as you were in my world, come here, it's not safe—"

You snatched your hand back harshly, looking at him with an angered expression. "You're one of them!" You announced, wary. "The psychos running around in Invincible costumes!"

His heart dropped, you never looked at him like that— you were always sweet, soft. As soft as the desserts you made were chewy and sugary.

"(Name), please, don't be scared." He coaxed, his hands opening to you. "Come with me, I'll explain everything if you just co-"

"No! I'm not going anywhere with any of you!" Your rejection stung, sure, he wasn't 'YOUR' Mark, but he was Mark. Was that not enough?

A frustration filled his veins quickly as he grabbed your wrist harshly, tugging you close and ignoring your noises of protest as you came in contact with his chest. "You're scared, I get it." His arm came back around your waist, holding you close. "But I'm not leaving you, not like last time."

"I'll never let you out of my sight ever again."

♡

No-goggles Invincible:

Mark never saw a person as blinding as you are, God, every album you release, you manage to become sparklier. And he would know because he's been following you for a while.

He abused his power to see you worldwide, meet 'n greet in France? Boom, first in line. Exclusive merch release with your album in Japan? He bought the first copy. Concert in Australia? No ticket needed when you're a super-powered alien.

He couldn't believe he was shaking your hand, his newly bought album on the table. "You're even prettier in person!" He grinned, your kind smile making his heart race. "I've been watching you for a while, y'know? Since your Heartthrob Cutie Era!"

"Whaaat?! Really?! That's so long ago! Thank you for your support!" He could die here and he'd be happy, you looked adorable in your newest era outfit, the theme was filled with candy, bright colors, swirls and bows, he could eat you up.

"Thanks for coming by the way! Who do I make this out to?" You held the sharpie in your hand, ready to sign as he restrained himself from telling you to just write that you love him.

"I wouldn't miss this for the end of the world." Mark sighed, glancing down at the album. "Mark, with a K, Grayson."

"To.. my... long-time fan, Mark Grayson!" You signed with practised finesse, his name written with a heart and a parasocial slogan of 'Thanks for the love!♡'

He wasn't getting a wink of sleep after getting home.

. . .

During the time where Invincible work drowned him, he fell behind in supporting you. Missed out on a few albums releases and exclusive releases, the obsession became more casual.

Though the memory of your beaming smile and warm greeting rushed back to him as he spotted you, not as shiny but still you, trying to sneak through the rubble, evacuating too late. He slowly hovered down to the ground behind you, eyes wide as a smile slowly stretched across his features.

"Holy. Shit." Crude, but what else would he say? It's his idol! You turned sharply with a gasp. "It's you! They got a version of you here too?!"

You furrowed your eyebrows, frozen like a deer in headlights as this 'Mark' studied you, no goggles to hide his wandering eyes from taking in your entire form, he noted confusion.

"... hello? You forget your own career?" He did a gesture that was too cute for someone who was tearing apart the town and its civilians to be doing "'I'll steal all your hearts and more!', c'mon! That's you! Your whole... y'know, bit!"

You shook your head, cringing as he facepalmed. "Whatever, you're probably delirious. Amnesia or panic or whatever." He gestured for you to follow him, taking two steps away before hearing receding hurried ones, his head zipping around to see you trying to run.

"Hey! HEY! WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?!" His foot pushed off the ground, flying in an instant to you and tackling you to the ground.

"Yeah! No dumbass bodyguards to keep you away from me, now!" He laughed breathlessly, excited to finally have you to himself, no security or anything to restrain him from talking to you too long.

"Let go!! Get off me!!" Your shouts were ignored as you clawed and shoved at him, palm connecting with his cheek and pushing him away he resisted and leaned closer to you.

"Ooh, fiesty thing! You're so cute!" He laughed as he bit into your palm, eliciting a scream from you as you harshly pulled your hand back. "I ruined this town enough, the others won't mind if I fuck around with you for a little."

"C'mere, why don't you give me one of your cute little poses?"

[madebycloud]

What Would I Do Without You?

jinx/powder x reader — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

summary: you've been through hell and back with jinx, and despite it all, you couldn't leave her behind. (requested by anons) warnings/themes: HEAVY ANGST, character death (reader), blood, hurt no comfort harhar words: 2.6k notes: first time writing something so angsty like this haha i hope this is angsty enough... (this takes place when jinx rescued isha in prison) a repost cz tumblr is shti!

You could run.

You could run right now, escape with Isha and Sevika.

But-

How can you? You can't just leave Jinx alone—not now. Not after everything. Not when she's facing off against this monster.

Why didn't you listen?

Why did you have to play the hero?

Why, why, did you choose to stay?

“What are you doing?!” Jinx screams.

And that's the last thing you hear before you face off against the beast, watching as it launches itself at you-

At the last minute, you duck.

Too slow.

Too slow and too late.

In one quick motion, the beast tears into you.

It claws straight at your stomach-

You can feel the air leave your lungs.

You hit the ground.

Blood blossoms on your shirt.

But… it worked. The beast backed away. It fled.

You managed to scare it. You've saved Jinx. You've protected her. This is a victory.

Yet-

Why do you hurt so badly?

You look down, and your stomach is-

Oh.

Oh no...

Everything is red.

There's blood. There's blood everywhere.

Your blood.

You hear the sound of running footsteps. “NO!”

It's her voice.

“PLEASE, NO!” Jinx kneels next to you.

Your mind goes hazy, clouded by pain.

Arms grab you and move you into a sitting position. She's holding you. “Please, please,” she's sobbing as she puts pressure on the wound. “You're going to be okay. You're going to be fine.” You know that's a lie.

You cough. Red bubbles on your lips and slides down your chin.

“No, no, you're okay,” she repeats. “Don't go,” she sobs. “Don't you dare go. Look at me. Look at me.” She grabs your face, trying to angle your face up towards hers. “Please, stay with me. Stay. With. Me."

You feel so tired. You want to sleep.

But she needs you to stay here.

“Sevika!” she screams into nothingness, holding you tighter. “I need help, please come over here!”

The pain is still there, but the adrenaline is starting to wear off.

Your body hurts. Your eyelids flutter, but you force yourself to focus on her face.

She's crying. Her whole body is shaking. She's a wreck, but even like this, she's the most breathtaking you've ever seen.

You think that if you were to die, you'd want the last thing you ever saw to be her face.

She's still holding your head as she screams for help. “SOMEBODY—SOMEBODY PLEASE GET OVER HERE!”

Your body is getting cold. You can hear your pulse, thump, thump, thump, thump, in your head.

There's an arm around your back, supporting you as you slowly slump against her. Your head rests on her chest, and you can hear her heart beating loudly.

“I'm scared,” she whimpers. “I'm so scared.”

She is scared.

She's scared that she'll never taste your lips, never feel your breath on her neck.

She's scared that she'll never again feel your fingers on her hip, or your hands on her waist, or your face in her hair.

She's scared that you'll never hold her close, or tease her, or say her name in a way that makes her heart flutter.

She's scared that this is her last moment with you.

“Jinx.” You call her name one last time, her heart breaking when she hears how labored your voice is. It sounds so unlike you.

“No, no, don't say my name like that,” she begs. “Don't say my name like that—it can't be. Please, it can't be.”

She's crying, her tears fall onto your face. You taste saline and sweat and sadness.

You look into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes, full of tears. The eyes that made your heart pound faster and faster whenever you met her gaze.

You think of her face, her laugh, her smile. You think of her hand in yours and the way she looks in the light of dawn. You try to remember her smell, her voice, her skin.

You know this is probably the last time you'll ever be this close to her.

You love her so much.

You try to reach up and touch her face, to wipe away her tears. Your muscles protest and scream at the movement. But you try, anyway.

She catches your hand, presses it against her cheek. Her skin is warm and soft, and you memorize the feeling of it. You hope you'll always remember how her face feels.

“I love you,” you manage to say.

Her lower lip trembles. “What?”

“I love you.”

“No, no, no… don't say that,” she cries. “Don't say that. You're staying right here. You aren't going anywhere.”

She can't let you go. Not like this. Not after she just got you. Not after being so close to a life together. Not after finding someone who loves her so much.

You'd give anything for a few more minutes together. An hour, a day, a week.

You want to stay with her. 

You want to stay and be with her and see her grow into the woman you know she'll be. You want to watch those eyes light up at a joke and see her smile. You want to sit by her side as she laughs and talk to her for hours. You want to hold her, for as long as you can, and tell her you love her.

You try to muster a smile. “It's okay,” you whisper. “I'm here, right now. I'm… I'm not going anywhere,” you lie.

She nods. She tries to wipe away her tears.

“Please don't cry. You're too pretty to cry.”

She scoffs as she smiles through her tears. You love her like this. Even just hearing her scoff, even if she's upset, makes you happy. 

“I'm a mess,” she says. “I'm a crying, snotty mess.”

“I'll love you anyway.” 

“Don't say that,” she pleads. “Don't say that, please.”

“Why?”

Her voice breaks. “If you keep saying things like that, I'm not going to be strong enough to let you go.”

“You won't have to.”

“Don't say that either,” she whispers. “Don't make promises you can't keep.”

“I'm right here.” You try to speak louder. “I'm not going anywhere.”

“Stop. You don't know that.”

And you don't. But you want to believe it. Oh, god, if anything, you want to be right.

You reach up again, brush the hair from her face. You try to be gentle so she won't notice how much it's hurting you to move at all.

“Please tell me a story,” you breathe. “Please. I want to hear your voice.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything… anything at all.”

She takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, and bites her lip in thought. “Okay,” she says after a moment. “I… I have an idea. Do you want to hear it? It's a story, if—if that's okay.”

You slowly nod and take her hand. She's shaking so hard. You run your thumb over her knuckles. 

“When I was a little girl,” she starts quietly. “I used to watch the stars. They were so pretty… I'd stay up past my bedtime, just sitting by the window and trying to find the brightest ones in the sky. I always looked for that one star, and I knew I could find it no matter what time it was. I know it's silly…”

It doesn't feel silly to you. You like that she's talking, and even if it's a dumb story, just hearing her is making you feel better. 

“I—I wanted to know if there were worlds up there. I didn't know about planets and stars yet, so I'd sit there in my room and imagine all these worlds, full of people who had entire lives I couldn't dream of.”

Closing your eyes, you focus on the sound of her voice.

This is the last time you'll get to hear her talk. The last time you'll get to see her. The last time you'll get to hear her voice. The last time you'll feel her touch. The last time you'll get to be with her.

You smile.

Despite the pain.

You smile.

Even as things start to grow dark.

You smile.

Because even though it won't be for much longer, you know she's still out there.

And she will find her way through this, because you know she can.

Even without you.

“Whenever I couldn't fall asleep,” she continues, “I'd look at the stars and imagine what it was like to live there and what people there were like. I liked to think people on the other worlds would look up and see the same stars and wonder the same things, just like I was. I wanted to see those stars and know that, even if I was by myself in my room, I wasn't really alone.”

“I wanted to know what it was like to explore those other worlds,” Jinx murmurs. “What it was like to be one of those people, with real adventures and fun and families. No rules, just… freedom.”

She keeps talking and talking and talking and-

She notices your hands. Cold. No.

Her hands are shaking, but she reaches out. She reaches for your cheek, caressing it as her fingers tremble. Her hand trembles, and she can't focus on anything but the fact that she's touching your skin, that she's touching you-

She feels the blood on her fingers, trickling down her hand, but she pushes that out of her mind. She doesn't care. You're the most important thing. Always.

She watches your chest, your stomach, waiting for a twitch, a breath, anything to show her that you're still here. That her worst nightmare isn't happening right in front of her eyes.

But there's nothing.

She presses her ear to your chest. Come on, she thinks desperately. Come on, please.

Silence.

Her fingers fumble to find your pulse on your neck.

Nothing.

Her world collapses around her.

No.

No, not like this.

Tears blur her vision. She blinks them away, trying to fight off the tears so she can see you. Can't see you. She doesn't want to. She can't. Not now.

One minute.

Just one more minute, that's all.

Just a few more seconds.

Please.

There's a pressure growing in her chest. It's so tight, it's hard to breathe. She can't breathe. Why can't she breathe? She needs to breathe. She needs to breathe, she needs to breathe, she can't stop crying, she can't stop because you're-

No, no, no. Don't think it, don't think it, don't think it-

“Hey, c'mon,” she says. “This isn't funny. Wake up.” She grabs your shoulders, shaking you. “Wake. Up.”

You're not moving. You're not talking. You're just-

Cold, limp. Nothing's different.

Please, not like this.

“You can't do this.”

Please.

“You have to wake up.”

Please!

“You have to wake up.”

Please, please, please, please.

“You don't just—you don't just get to do this to me!”

This isn't real.

It can't be real.

She closes her eyes.

She reopens them, looking down at your body.

It's real.

“Please wake up! I need—I need you, please.”

She's begging you, to the wind, to the moon, to the stars, that maybe if she pleaded hard enough, hard enough to the whole universe itself, maybe fate would be on her side just this once.

But fate was never on her side.

Life did this to her, it took everything she had and loved and was precious, it took away the only person she knew loved her. Life wasn't good, it was cruel and cold and harsh, and it was taking away everything she had. It was taking everything.

She hates this.

She hates what life was doing to her, what it had done to her. She wants to scream and pull her hair out. She wants to burn the world down and scream at the top of her lungs, at life, at the whole universe, begging it to bring you back.

Just. Bring. You. Back.

How many times had she watched you laugh, watched you smile, and done something as simple as breathing? How often had she watched you speak and talk and joke about something?

How many times had she told you she loved you, how many hours had you lost track of just the two of you talking? How many good moments had the two of you had that she would never be able to experience again?

It had been taken away from her.

You'd never laugh or smile again, that beautiful voice of yours is only a memory now.

And it hurts.

It hurts so much to think about how she's never going to hear your voice. How she's never going to see you walking around the hideout again. She'll never be able to see the smile you give every time she says something stupid.

She'll never be able to hold your hands, to kiss you, to lay her head on your lap. She'll never get to hear you laugh or feel your hands on hers.

She loved you. Every piece of you.

Every smile.

Every laugh.

Every word.

Every tear.

Every kiss.

Every touch.

Every moment.

Every single time.

Every single time you were there for her.

Every single time that you'd given her the best hugs when she'd cried on your shoulder.

Every single time the two of you slept on a small couch just so she could feel safe.

Every single time you'd hold her in your arms.

Every single time you talked her out of a bad mood.

She'll never get to have those again.

She'll never get to experience all of those wonderful, beautiful things again.

And she wants to do it one more time.

One more time to hear you laugh. One more time to feel you put your arms around her. One more time, she wants you to tell her everything is going to be alright. To take her face in your hands, look into her eyes, and say that.

Just one more.

Because what would she do without you?

How would she go on living without you when you were the person who had kept her going for months?

For the longest time, you were the one person that she trusted. The one person that she felt safe with.

Without that, what was the point?

She can still remember the first time she met you. She can still remember the butterflies in her stomach each time she saw you, the way her heart raced whenever you spoke to her. She can still remember that first, awkward kiss, how you held her close in your arms afterwards and didn't let go.

She can still remember the first time the two of you had said, “I love you.”

It was so hard for her to say it because she hadn't felt loved in a long time. And she's nervous, she's scared. But you spoke first, you pulled her close.

It was a whisper, a quiet “I love you” spoken in her ear. And then she started crying, she turned and buried herself in your arms.

I love you.

She'll never hear those words again.

But she can still remember what you sounded like.

That had to be enough.

That has to be enough.

Those three words have to be enough for her.

They have to be.

But they weren't.

Because now, you are gone.

“I love you too,” she murmurs. “So much-”

But there's no one to hear it.

She closes her eyes again, letting the tears roll down her face.

This is what love is, she thinks.

This is what loving someone does to you.

She'd never hated something so much in her life.

“How am I supposed to live without you?”

notes: forgot that singed is literally right there… (might write pt2)

[strangersteddierthings]

Jealousy Looks Different On You

Title wonderfully suggested by @shoujo-wizard! Thanks so much because I was struggling to title this.

[Part One] ✨ [Part Two] ✨ [You Are Here] ✨ [Final Part]

It is not often in Eddie's life that he's left without words. So rare it is that Eddie can remember them all and tally them on one hand.

The first was when his mom died. He was so at a loss for words that he didn't speak for over a month, too lost in grief. And looking back on it older and wiser, a little bit was him knowing that it wouldn't have mattered if he'd spoke, his dad wasn't around to answer.

The second was when Wayne got The Call from his dad, when Wayne had to tell Eddie that he was going to be moving in with him permanently. That his dad wasn't coming back 'round for a long time.

The third was the first time a guy kissed him. Eddie was eighteen and had just learned he wasn't going to graduate the first time. He'd gone to Indy, ending up in gay bar that clocked his fake ID and wouldn't sell him alcohol but did let him in so he could be surrounded by other queers for the first time in his life. Eddie'd ended up in conversation with a guy old enough to drink and when he'd kissed Eddie there were no words, just a surprised gasp and then more kissing.

The fourth time (and this one is arguable due to him being in shock) was when Steve, Dustin, Robin, and Max had found him in the boathouse. It had taken him a while to find his voice before he could answer Dustin and learn that monsters are real.

So, Eddie is not left speechless often. Eddie's usual response is to get defensive, loud, or angry. Sometimes (most times) all three. He'd been rapidly approaching loud and angry until Steve shut him up with a quick list of how exactly Eddie fucked up.

Fucked up before he'd even had a real chance.

God damn him and his stupid fucking mouth! If he could go back and slap 21-year-old him in the back of the head, he would. He'd smack him good and then grab his shoulders and shaking him while screaming for him to shut up shut up shut up you are ruining your chances with Steve, and you don't even know it!

He can't go back, though. He can't unsay and unsay and unsay all the stupid, useless bullshit he's spewed over the years trying to throw Steve off course. Because that's what he was doing. Time and time again, finding guys who looked nothing like Steve to get his rocks off with, waxing lyrical about the ideal partner for him being as far from Steve as possible.

Eddie knows that's what he was doing because he stopped talking about it all so much when Steve, quiet and hesitant and shy for the first time ever since Eddie's known him, had come out to him. He wouldn't make eye contact, instead telling the wall behind Eddie 'I, uh, I've been learning new things every day, living here with you and Robin, and I. I, uh, I've learned new things about myself, too. Things that I think were... were always there but I was scared to look at for too long. But, um, because of you and Robin, I don't think I'm scared anymore,' and then Steve looked him right in the eye and said, 'I'm queer, too. I like girls, still, but also guys.'

God. Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck, that should have given it away! That Steve, nervous and fucking shy had made eye contact with him to come out. Like it was important that Eddie hear it and know it. And Eddie...

Jesus fuck, all his stupid, idiot, dumb-as-fuck past self had done was nod and say 'cool' before promptly changing the subject. At the time, Eddie had written off the look on Steve's face as Eddie bombing the Supportive Friend Response but now he sees it clearly for what it was.

Is.

Eddie breaking Steve's heart for the first time. Instead of giving any indication of liking Steve, Eddie'd all but solidified to him how disinterested Steve already thought Eddie was. Steve had said 'I like girls, still, but also guys' and only now can Eddie see that Steve meant 'I like girls, still, but also you.'

Eddie can see it all with this new knowledge adding perspective. Eddie had dug his own grave trying to hide how in love with Steve he was that he dug too far. So far that it worked. Why would Steve bother to tell Eddie he loved him when all Eddie had done was tattoo a clear and plain 'You aren't what I want and never will be' right across Steve's heart.

And now...

Now Eddie's sitting on a couch that used to be theirs. Could still be theirs if Eddie wasn't such a fucking coward all those years ago.

Instead, what is really happening is he's sitting on Steve's couch, crying silently, as he mourns what they could have been, should have been. And Steve's still standing before him, looking all the more uncertain and worried the longer Eddie's silent.

It takes all of Eddie's willpower to open his mouth and force out words. "I'm so fucking sorry, Steve. I-I'm so sorry."

Steve's brows scrunch, the space between them furrowing, and Eddie is struck with the same desire he always has when Steve's face does that. He wants to reach out and sooth it with his thumb, kiss it away.

"I should have- should've been more honest," Eddie says and his words feel as hollow as the tone of his voice. "You're right. I should have said something. Shit, I've basically spent our entire friendship sprouting lies so you wouldn't see the truth and it's fucked it all up."

Steve frowns at him, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides but he doesn't speak. In fact, he hasn't said much at all. His one rant was short but succinct and even though Eddie wants to hear his voice, wants Steve to sooth his guilt by accepting Eddie's apology, he knows it's too soon.

How can he possibly expect Steve to tell him he's forgiven when he's been unintentionally hurting him for at least five years?

Eddie looks down to his shoes and finally finds the strength to lift his hands, to wipe away the tears that streak down his cheeks. He shoves the heel of his palms into his eyes, taking a deep breath in and letting his hands drop as he breaths out. Once he feels a bit more put together, he looks back up at Steve, who is still standing awkwardly in his own living room, looking unsure.

"Have I been... hurting you this whole time?" Eddie asks, even though he's sure of the answer and hates himself for it.

"Yes," Steve says slowly, "and no. It's not that simple. I knew I wasn't what you wanted, it's not like you... strung me along or promised me anything. I hurt myself wanting you, but I couldn't stop."

Eddie lets out a whimpering sound. "No! Don't you get it? That's not- Steve, you are the one I wanted, want, more than anything else."

Steve's face twists again, angry and hurt.

Eddie rushes to continue. "I know it doesn't seem like it. I know. Because I hid it, Steve. I hid it so well that you believed the lies. That you believe what I wanted was everything you," Eddie's throat fills thick and it's hard to speak but he has to say the words, even though he hates the thought; hates that Steve thought it, "was everything you weren't and that's a lie."

Steve scoffs, a quiet and angry thing. "I don't know if you remember but we lived in this apartment together for eight years. Eight years of having to hear just how much you wanted whatever the guy of the week was giving you. These walls are thin."

Eddie does remember. Of course he does. The glares Robin would shoot him for disrupting her sleep and how Steve would rib him about having a fun night. He also remembers the change that came once Steve had come out to them. How Robin's glares turned from annoyance to actual anger. How Steve stopped teasing him and never met his eye the mornings after.

"I do enjoy kink," Eddie clarifies, because it's true, "particularly BDSM. But Steve, please, you have to believe me. I'd give it all up if it meant having you."

Steve sighs, like Eddie's said the exact thing he thought he would and wishes he hadn't. "I believe that you believe that."

God, Eddie's really, really, fucked this up. "I do believe that! What is all of, of that," he waves his hand in the air, a need to move something but unable to stand from the couch that could have still been theirs, "compared to you? The person I trust more than anyone else in the world? The person I'll never have to hide the occasional nightmare from because you already understand? Who knows all there is to know about me and still-" he skips over his words here, fearful that the truth might have changed between the bar and here, "-still loves me anyway?"

He watches Steve' Adams apple bob as he swallows before speaking. "I'll always love you, Eddie. That will never be the issue. It's just... what if love's not enough?"

And now, Eddie pleads, "but what if it is?"

-

For the timeline here, since I know have decided on one is this: Season 4 happened but Eddie lived and was cleared of charges but still had to get outta Hawkins ASAP. Steve, Robin, and Eddie shared an apartment in Chicago while Robin when to college. Robin lived with them for the 4 years she was in college and then an additional two until she got a serious girlfriend and they moved in together. Steve and Eddie, now 26 and 27, continued to live together until Eddie and his new band finally got their break when Eddie was 29. Eddie moved to LA then at the request of the label and Steve's stayed in that original Chicago apartment since. Steve is currently 31 and Eddie is 32.

@xxbottlecapx @im-sam-fucking-winchester @novacorpsrecruit @thewickedkat @dreamy-jeans137 @everywherenothere @hangingupinthehallway @estrellami-1 @queenie-ofthe-void @dreamsteddie @acowardinmordor @steviesummer @kinryuuki @genderless-spoon @paperbackribs @steddiecameraroll @yesdangerpls @jackiethevampireslayer @skitchskatchbat @sani-86

[jweekgoji]

hello, you can resquest scenery, TFO Orion Pax, D-16, B-127 and Sentinel wait for their Conjux femme reader to give birth to their Sparkling. (about the others except Sentinel, where they go to the surface and return to Iacon and it would be that they meet their newborn Sparkling)

TFO Chars/Pregnant!Femme!Reader [hcs]

featuring: Orion Pax, D-16, B-127, Sentinel Prime tw: pregnancy, very brief mentions of violence, slighty yandere!Megs by the end, mixture of fluff/angst. word count: ~1940 a/n: I hope I understood your request well. Feel free to correct me if I did something wrong so I can remake it.

Orion Pax.

I feel like Orion (cogless, since it's before they went to the surface) is probably that typical young dad that has no idea how to take care of a child and might as well set on fire the kitchen in attempts to warm the bottle of energon for the sparkling.

But! He is very enthusiastic about it, and he supports you in every way he can; it's just that he lacks any real experience with it. Reading in the archives about sparklings, pregnancy and how to be a good mentor is easy; the hardest thing is to actually deal with it.

There is a big possibility that you are also cogless like him, and I'm not sure Sentinel actually cares about poor pregnant miners to give them at least a one-day off. Your supervisors would constantly remind you to continue working, since there's always a big need for energon.

Orion often picks up fights because of it. Can't those big bullies see that you're sparked? You need rest and good care, not lifting heavy equipment...As usual, he gets scolded by Elita for not doing his job properly, but he makes sure that he helps you with everything. You can rest during your shift, while Orion is happily working for both of you, so you won't be reported to the higher-ups. It's a little hard, but there is nothing he wouldn't do for you.

Following my last statement and the previous headcanons, Orion desperately wants the best future for all Cybertronians. He hates the thought that his sparkling will grow up in the same place as him. No actual home, no equality, only hatred from the others. That's when he sees the opportunity to change the future, he grasps onto it.

It pains Orion to leave you in Iacon. It wasn't really his fault, though. He would have come back to you after the Iacon 5000 race immediately if it wasn't for Darkwing throwing him on sublevel 50, and the next events after that...

Orion gains the maturity he lacked, and with realization of his other past mistakes, he also understands how careless he was before. You're probably scared to death without him; he left you without a word, and now you have to only guess where your conjunx is. How stressed you will be after someone tells you that he's dead.

Just as much as it scares him and makes him angry at himself, it also motivates him for more. No matter what, he will come back to you.

The moment he sees you, he is relieved. The reunion looks awkward, his form towering over your smaller one, but that doesn't bother either of you. When he finally meets the sparkling, his own little spark, all the pain from the last battle is gone.

Orion swears to you that he will never leave you alone after today; with a new spark born in this world, there is a hope. How meaningful it is for his own child to be born the day the Iacon becomes free.

D-16

Just like Orion, D-16 has a little to no idea how to take care of the sparkling. If his best friend will be so happy to be a sire, D-16 has mixed emotions about this.

Don't get me wrong, he is excited about it just like you, but D-16 is the bot who is reluctant when it comes to going against the rules. He is not sure if this is actually the right place and time for the sparkling to be born now. Both of you are cogless, and there is no great future for you. Maybe after countless cycles ago he can get a higher position, a bit better life, but will it be enough to raise someone so young?

Even then, he shows you that he is happy. He doesn't want you to think that he hates the idea just because he's not so sure about your current life.

D-16 is a naturally strong bot, probably one of the strongest when compared to other miners. He gets extra affectionate with his conjunx, holding you close and maybe even carrying you around if you show him the tiniest sign that you're tired. He is really sweet.

As Orion drags him into the race, he begins to slowly lose his cool. His outburst in the cave after finding out about the truth is even stronger. The betrayal, pain, the sick feeling of worry about you and his sparkling. If only Orion didn't drag him into that damn race, he would have been with you, making sure that you're safe, none of that would have happened.

The frustration boils over with each step he makes. He needs to come back to Iacon, to you, but first, he has to get rid of the one who caused the cycles of pain and humiliation.

 The time D-16 gets his servos on Sentinel, ripping him apart in front of anyone, he thinks it is the only way to solve everything. Only he can fix it, and only he can trust himself with protecting you.

You weren't there to see him deal with Sentinel, thankfully. It is for the best to avoid all the stress it could have caused if you saw him. Your dear conjunx is seething with hatred. Sentinel took many things from him; he wasn't even able to be there with you when your sparkling was born. D-16 Megatron will cherish both of you forever, and he will make sure to raise his little one as strong as him, so they won't live through the same events as D-16 was.

B-127

Oh, this one is a little too sad to speculate. Let's say, both of you are cogless but met each other a long time ago before you two ended up on sublevel 50. The moment you two failed to please the higher-ups and also the moment you find out that you're sparked up. What bad timing!

B-127 seems to be more happy than you are when he realizes that he is going to be a sire. A little too happy. Even though he doesn't fully understand it. You might go like, “You're going to be a sire, Bee” and then he hits you with, “I am sparked up??” which is kind of funny. Is that really your man?

Out of other bots, I can see  🐝 being the best sire ever. Of course, he gets a little confused, but who wouldn't be if they dealt with their first child? You try to explain to him everything you know about the topic, and he quickly catches up on it.

B-127 is already thinking about the names. Does Badasstron Junior sound like a good name for sparkling? Or maybe he should practice combining your names together? Anyway, it really helps him not to get insane down here. Having you around is good for Bee's mental health, though you're not so sure how much time passed since you were demoted.

Even then, Bee shows his caring side. He does get serious when the situation really needs it, so he is constantly tied to your hip because he wants you and the sparkling to be safe. The conditions are not great, but he makes the best of it. No matter how bad it gets, he always makes you smile, even though sometimes he has no strength to keep his cheerfulness.

Bee is happy to have more new friends and to partake in the journey of finding the matrix of leadership, but he doesn't want you to get hurt. That's why (with tears in his optics) you two agree that you should stay. But hey, it will probably not take too much time. He will come back with his new friends to Iacon with the matrix; the energon will flow again, so there's no need for you to stay!

Bee doesn't stop yapping about the fact that he is going to be a sire to Elita. This fella just likes to talk and when he sees the opportunity, he doesn't miss it! Poor Elita has to listen to him how hard it is to choose the name for the baby, or how he is going to be the best sire ever once the group comes back. Ohh, did you know that he also really-really loves you? And his sparkling? Elita barely handles him, but even though she never met you, she knows everything about you.

After Bee comes back to Iacon, he almost faints. First he got a cog, then met the high guard, got a job with the government, AND became a sire? When he sees his sparkling, he feels a little sad that he wasn't there with you, but he will compensate it in no time. Every little move your sparkling makes is cheered by,  and Primus have mercy on the poor bots around him. He is probably that dad who will show you the pictures of his kids...

Sentinel Prime

Being a conjunx of Sentinel has its own perks. Lucky you, no work for you! It will be too bad if you get sparked up and cogless, huh?

Sentinel is a busy bot. There is always work waiting for him, especially the oh so important ‘‘searching for matrix of leadership’ thing. Even then, when he is in Iacon, there are lots of paper jobs and meetings  being here and there since everything should be personally controlled by him.

One of the cons while being sparked up and being conjunx of Sentinel is that he doesn't have much time for you. By the end of the day, he always comes back to your quarters, but it's just so lonely without him! You're always surrounded by the guards, the medics, but they can never replace the presence of your loved one.

All the changes in your body don't help at all, the mood swings, the certain energon cravings in the middle of the night, so-so hard to deal with, but he's a Prime, after all, so that shouldn't trouble him that much...

Sentinel might be a little irritated with it. When you wake him up, just to ask for something Primus-knows-what-next, that will probably take hours to search for, but he has no strength to deny you. If his conjunx wants it, he gets it!

I like to think that Sentinel is probably always aware of your and sparkling's health, but in a slightly concerning way. Yes, he can miss one or two meetings at the doctor's with you, but that doesn't mean he is ignorant. Everything is reported straight to him, so if anything, he will drop his work and join you. There is also a looong track of every checkup you had, and he has a timer that counts seconds to when the sparkling is born.

Imagine how annoyed Sentinel is when he gets humiliated by the quintessons and misses the birth of his sparkling? He practically scowls when someone reports him about it and totally has to restrain himself from strangling someone on his way to Iacon, but he manages it somehow.

Sentinel's mood quickly replaced with warmth for you and the sparkling, even though inside his head, he is still annoyed. How could he miss it? When he planned everything to the last second? The one thing that keeps his mind occupied is the little one he has in his servos. He's not going to leave you two again. At least, when he still can.

[gotta-winwin]

OT13 Reaction -- to you being bullied in the past/highschool

masterlist | cyana's masterlist

tw: this one holds a lot of mentions of verbal bullying and cyberbullying - it's something very close to home for me and this fic will be for anyone who has experienced the same thing. remember that you are strong and the harsh words don't define you! i love you and stay safe <33

he can feel his blood boiling the moment you comment on your past experiences with bullies. seungcheol prides himself to be a level-headed type of guy, but the thought of you getting hurt - even in the past - strikes a chord deep inside of him. he's thinking about buying a plane ticket to your hometown just to find those fuckers and bury them six feet under. however, he's mature enough to know that violence never solves anything, opting to show you even more love than before (if that's even possible) to remind you that you are worth everything in the world.

jeonghan's mind is already whirring overtime the moment he finds out about your past. using his scary, evil, mastermind brain for good this time, he can't help but envision decking the people who've hurt you. doesn't mind listening to you as you rant, knowing that you need a silent supporter by your side. will never tell you about how he sees red just thinking about your so-called "friends" who made you feel so horrible about yourself.

joshua can feel his heart crack with each name you tell him you've been called. takes the time to reassure you that you are none of those horrible things, that you're kind and beautiful and so so so smart. traces his finger across every scar and imperfection you've been bullied over, whispering how much he loves you. doesn't mind giving your bullies the nastiest side-eye the next time he sees them.

although he's doing his best to be present as you tell him about your past, jun is internally screaming at himself because you. are. crying. it's like he malfunctions every time it happens, hating how sad and scared you look. despite his panic, he's awfully calm when he comforts you, explaining to you that no, you are not weak because of this. in fact, you're much much stronger.

soonyoung's somehow found himself perched on top of a chair, his body steaming with anger, holding too much rage to sit still. you can tell he's struggling to hold back the foulest curse words, knowing that he should at least let you finish your rant. the moment you're done however, he's cursing them, their mother, their partner, anyone he can get his metaphorical hands on. it's okay baby. he'd tell you once he's calmed down. they're probably failing in life. but look at you! you're successful and beautiful and you're dating me!

wonwoo's asking you questions in a way that makes you fear for what he's about to do. what's their address? social media? social security number? you have to physically sit him down and remind him that the bullying happened years ago in highschool and that there was no point in trying to get revenge now. he's visibly deflated by the news, but decides to just dote on you even more to prove to you that their awful words were wrong. i'm no good with words, but i'll show you how fucking stupid they were to hurt you.

jihoon doesn't really know what to say when you tell him. he only thanks you for feeling brave enough to share such a painful part of you with him, feeling happy you trust him enough to do so. neither one of you revisits the topic: until one day, you see a suspicious amount of rageful revenge lyrics and comfort lyrics in seventeen's new releases. i guess we can credit the making of Hug to that instance.

minghao's glad he meditated last night because what you just told him would have definitely set him off without it. he doesn't hesitate to hold you, asking you if you need anything from him. i'm so proud of you for surviving all that, my love. they were obviously blind and didn't see your worth. and i'm sorry you thought they were your friends. he makes it clear that he's here for you, whenever you need to talk about it again.

seokmin more than upset when you're finished telling him everything- he's confused. he doesn't understand why anyone would want to hurt you, let alone say all those nasty things and pretend to be your friend. he apologizes for crying, trying to laugh it off by saying idk why i'm crying so hard, it didn't even happen to me but i'm the one sobbing like a baby. promises you that he's never leaving your side and you don't have to ever worry about him turning on you like your friends did in highschool.

all mingyu can think about as he listens is that he could have made it all better if he had just been there. he tells you while gently wiping away your tears that he would've traded places with you in an instant. i wish we'd met when we were younger, love. i would have fought them all back. but most of all, he wishes he was there to protect the younger you, knowing a child didn't deserve all that.

although you're doing a great job already, seungkwan can't help but join in on dissing your bullies and so-called "friends." he nods along enthusiastically every time you throw an insult, preferring always to laugh about it instead of cry. he's hyping you up, agreeing with everything you say as you recount your highschool days. yeah, no she sounds like a bitch. i bet he couldn't even read a chapter book. bro probably stank, you were safer without him. she's sounding like one of those insane kdrama rich ladies - and not the hot ones.

vernon's quietly listening, storing away every single piece of information for the next time you guys return to your hometown. he's already preparing his plethora of insults and backhanded digs, ready to show them a taste of their own medicine. he quietly tells you that he can relate - school had never been kind to him either - and he somehow spins all your shared trauma into something beautiful. we were meant to be, he says, cause you healed me, and now i can heal you. his words make you smile through the tears - and you fucking love him for that.

chan's at a loss for words once you're finished telling him everything. he's overwhelmed by the sheer amount of harsh words and sickening moments, knowing that if he felt this bad just hearing about it, he couldn't imagine how you felt going through it all. you're much braver than i would have been, is all he says after a pause. i love you. chan might be a man of few words, but he knows just what to say.

[22ayla21]

Hi! Do you write stuff about pregnancy? If you don't, please feel free to ignore this request. If you do, can I request Mydei with a reader who gets pregnant after a night together? The reader panics and hides it from Mydei, in fear of his reaction and starts to avoid him. Then Mydei overhears reader trying to find comfort in someone. No need to include anything suggestive and you can choose the type of relationship Mydei and reader have. Thank you and have a lovely day!

The Secret She Carried in Her Heart

After a night spent together, she became pregnant. She was afraid he would reject the child and tried to hide it.

Sometimes fate throws such curveballs that you are completely unprepared for. And so, she found herself captive to her feelings beside him, the man she loved, but with a heart clenched with anxiety.

It all happened unexpectedly, as if in a fog: intoxicating laughter, snippets of phrases, their lips meeting in the night darkness – hot, impatient. He, as always, exuded confidence and determination. And she… she simply couldn't resist the impulse, his touch, his gaze that spoke without words.

Now, weeks later, the thought that her life had drastically changed wouldn't leave her. That single evening had turned everything upside down, and this new reality haunted her. She tried to push these thoughts away, but they were as obvious as the morning sun. She was carrying his child beneath her heart.

Tormenting anxiety washed over her with every thought of what had happened. How could she tell him? What if his reaction wasn't what she hoped for at all? His life was complicated, full of risks, and she couldn't imagine herself being part of that world. She sought solace in his arms but wasn't ready for the responsibility that had suddenly fallen on her shoulders.

She tried to avoid meetings, although it wasn't easy. A detachment appeared in her behavior, which she tried to hide behind strained smiles and curt phrases. He noticed her oddness but couldn't understand the reasons. He was still there, caring, supportive, but her coldness baffled him.

Meanwhile, her body began to change. She felt her belly rounding, her breasts becoming sensitive, and noticed unusual cravings. She understood that all these changes were his consequence, but she continued to remain silent. She wasn't ready. Not ready at all.

The day he accidentally overheard her conversation, her heart clenched with terror. She was sitting on the edge of the bed with her phone in her hand, talking to a friend, when he unexpectedly returned home. He hadn't intended to eavesdrop, but her agitated, trembling voice involuntarily caught his attention.

"You can't imagine how scared I am…" she said, her voice breaking. "I don't know what to do. He'll never be ready for this. I… I won't be able to make him accept it. I'm terribly afraid of his reaction."

Mydei froze at the door, as if struck by lightning. He couldn't move, realizing that she was talking about him, about the fact that she was pregnant with his child. A pang shot through his chest, and the world around him narrowed. His own insecurity intertwined with her fear.

She continued:

"I'm afraid of losing him. Afraid that he won't want this child, that in his eyes I'll just be a mistake, a fleeting weakness. I can't tell him. I just can't."

Mydei felt everything inside him turn over. He stood there, not knowing what to do, how to act. He understood that her heart was full of fear, but he didn't know how to comfort her, how to break down the wall they had built between themselves.

He couldn't stay silent any longer.

He entered the room, and she, seeing him, recoiled sharply, trying to hide her confusion. She turned to the wall, as if ashamed of something. But he approached and gently took her hand, not allowing her to avoid his gaze.

"You're pregnant with my child," he said evenly, but there was something in his voice that couldn't be ignored. "I know."

She simply nodded silently, feeling shame constrict her chest.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked more softly. "Why did you decide to hide it?"

She tried to free her hand, but he wouldn't let her. He squeezed her palm tighter, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"I was afraid," she whispered barely audibly. "Afraid of your reaction. Afraid that you wouldn't want either me or the child, that I would become just a mistake for you, one you would want to forget."

Mydei gently touched her cheek, feeling her tremble under his fingers.

"You are not a mistake. You will never be one. You… you are my family, and our child is a part of us, something that cannot simply be dismissed. I… I won't leave you. Never."

A quiet sob escaped her chest; she could no longer hold back her emotions. He pulled her to him, hugged her, burying his face in her hair.

"I was scared too," he confessed, "but I don't want to hide anything from you. You're not alone, and you won't be alone. We'll manage. Together."

Relief flickered in her eyes, followed by a trust she finally allowed herself to feel. She looked up at him with tear-filled eyes.

"You're so confident, so strong," she said in a trembling voice, "and you say we'll manage? Do you really think so?"

He nodded and gently kissed her forehead.

"I know we'll manage. You're not alone. We'll be together."

And at that moment, when all doubts and fears receded, they both felt that everything would be alright. It didn't matter how they had gotten here. The main thing was that they had met on this path. Together.

[causeitstrue]

I am here...

A Rumi x Reader Short Story about her Marks. Enjoy!!!

TW: Mental health issues, Emotional breakdown, Crying, Fear of rejection, Identity crisis, Stigma, Loneliness / isolation, Trauma, Body horror (mild), Secrets / hidden identity, Intrusive thoughts.

Content: Emotional support, Friendship and trust, Personal confession, Comfort after breakdown, Secret keeping, Inner conflict, Emotional intimacy. SFW.

And there she was again. Under the blankets. Her safe place.

The marks were growing, affecting her voice again, making her suffocate. She tried not to break down while standing on the stage, telling Mira and Zoey it was another bad day.

So she went to her room.

And cried, cried until her voice returned and left again. Until her lungs burned and her tears dried out. Until the person known as Rumi broke in pieces, all scattered over the place. With so much fear of what she was, but, deep down, waiting to be found.

That's when the girls called you. You were the emergency contact. A friendship born from strangers to friends in a supermarket. After two years, you became a really good friend, a confidant to them. But for Rumi, you meant something else. More so when you learned about her secret, by mistake...

You forgot something in their apartment one afternoon, and returned with the spare key they gave you. Only Rumi was there, Mira and Zoey had gone out for a Spa Session. Thinking she was alone, she took off her jacket to relax in the home’s comfort, but, without warning, you walked in and saw them. Those glowing, darker, full-body marks.

She freaked out at the moment. Tried to hide them with a sofa pillow and a nearby curtain. But it was too late. You came closer, out of curiosity.

- "When did you get those?"

She tried to play it cool.

- "W-what…? The curtains? Ikea…"

You narrowed your eyes.

- "The marks, did you get tattooed and not tell us?"

Her fear started building up, she didn’t want to say anything. She wanted to make an excuse. Something credible like Celine told her in her childhood. But she was also tired of lying. And the light turned on. You weren't a demon hunter. You didn't know anything about the secret and dangerous world beneath your feet. Maybe, just maybe, you would understand.

There was no room for mistakes. So she told the truth: that the demons were real, that they were hunted down. And that she was living proof of it. Half demon, half human.

Of course, the thought of a joke crossed your mind. But her eyes, her voice, her determination spoke for her. It was all real. So you started to dig down until you knew all her past and her present dilemma.

Rumi gasped, finally someone other than Celine recognized her existence. Finally, someone else didn't run away from her.

And she got to the point.

- "Don't say anything to Mira and Zoey"

She told you in a whisper.

- "T-they… don't know?"

Rumi shook her head.

- "I am what we promised to eliminate, to get rid of. I’ve lied for so many years that now… I can't say anything about it. Feels like I am betraying them, and I'm scared… That they’ll choose duty over friendship… I would understand… But at the same time, I feel…"

And the tears began to flow. You couldn't just watch. You got close and hugged her. Your heart breaking. How could she bear all this pain, all this solitude since birth? She was just a girl. Not a demon, not an error. Not a mistake, not a… thing.

- "You're not alone."

You said with a warm whisper, loud enough for her to hear.

- "You will not be alone anymore, not with me here."

You caressed her back, pulling Rumi close to your chest. She didn't pull away. She needed it.

- "Your secret is safe… And I'll be here whenever you need me. To remind you that you are just a girl. More than a demon hunter or a demon itself. Just Rumi. And that's what matters."

She stayed this way for some time before talking again.

- "Promise?"

Looking up at you.

- "Promise."

You smiled and kissed her forehead. She smiled in response, shyly but happy. The girls returned later, just to find you both sleeping on the couch. Questions not allowed, said Rumi, winking at you.

And since then, you stayed true to your word. You arrive at the place. Say "Hi" to Mira and Zoey and knock on Rumi's door.

- "I am here.. ."

And don't wait for an answer. Don't need it though. She was already running to your embrace.

She will always look for you to remember, that after all her hate and intrusive thoughts, she was loved.

Hi!!! It's my first time writing a full lenght mini history/fanfiction. I would to receive some feedback and thoughts about this. Feel free to write a comment!

[all444glo]

[2:32]

paige was always full of surprises but pulling up to your apartment at 5am, was one you never expected. but that was the point of having a spontaneous girlfriend right?

you had been living in dallas for a while, you were beyond ecstatic to get drafted to the same team as your girlfriend. while it was in the second round you were a great prospect, you even out played paige in the preseason—but it just wasn’t enough. you ended up getting cut right before the season started—devastating you and paige in the process.

you knew your league journey wasn’t over, there were multiple teams in talks of picking you up off the waivers. but you wanted to be with paige—you wanted to play with paige not against her. on the bright side, temporarily, you weren’t playing but at you least lived in dallas to see her. unfortunately being picked up meant moving, but it also meant new opportunity.

Paige knocked on your window trying to stay as quiet as possible, hoping that your neighbors would mind their business and not call the cops on her. at first you thought you were dreaming when you heard the tiny pecks at your window, then it starting getting louder and louder making you groan.

you lived in the basement apartment so stuff was always pecking at your window, it irritated (and scared you) quite often.

"Mom?-" you blinked in confusion looking up at the window above your bed and seeing the familiar blonde haired girl. of course it was your girlfriend, with the awkward traveling the league called for you often found you all hanging out at all kinds of odd hours.

"yes now open the damn window" you opened the window in pure confusion wondering how she even got to your house. it’s not like she drove…she had a bunch of bags in her hand as she slipped inside of your room with ease, falling onto your bed as if this was routine for her. "hi" she kissed your cheek and put the bags down. she had a huge smile on her face but you could tell something was off. her body language was tense and she seemed a bit low. you knew the game was an adjustment for her, you’d advised her to stay off social media but you knew she wanted to know what they were saying no matter the severity. you could see the dried tears on her face, and the redness in her eyes. she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

"you look tired" you cooed "lay down with me when's the last time you slept??

you wrapped your arms around your girlfriend forcing him to lay down with you. "take off your shoes and get under the blanket i'm cold" you ordered, and she did as she was told.

"love you"

you muttered, her cheeks showing a slight red tint in an instant. "love you too" you ran your fingers through her hair and kissed paige on her forehead, her body immediately relaxing. "so when's the last time you slept P?" you asked noticing she dodged your question. "maybe 2 days ago, i can't sleep without you stink” you rolled your eyes and cringed. "girl you know damn well that's not the reason."

“it’s true, i spent what little break i had with you, now i can’t go back to the distance” she said sighing her voice breaking a bit “i love my team, whenever we travel i have a great time, even if we lose our moral is still high”

“but it’s just not you y/n, i want you there”

you frowned in response, you felt immense guilt. you wished you had been enough to gain a spot on the roster, your girlfriend needed you and you could only support from afar. you thought about your college days, how well you two played together. the hours you two constantly logged in together, the rehab sessions you went with paige to after her injury, every situation you all went through played through your head.

“i’m sorry” you said wiping your own tears “but im here for you outside of the game. at least temporarily and when i go wherever i go we can stay together we see people do it all the time”

“it just feels different”

“nothing is different, because i still love you paige. always.”