#and a lot of people are so afraid of being considered bad ppl that they’ll go along w it and feel like the right thing to do is rt and boost
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i think obviously it’s important to be critical of elected officials & not treat politics like celebrity culture but the “you guys kamala harris is literally a zionist lol…” & “are we forgetting kamala harris is a bad person?” posts are sooooo disingenuous it’s insane. like genuinely what is the alternative for you? you think trump won’t be even more aggressively pro israel along with the other dangerous malicious beliefs that he holds and will put into action? just like fr fr fr where do people get off when it comes to this stuff. absolutely internet rotted behavior
#also with what we know abt Facebook I don’t think it’s out of the question that many of these posts are made by ppl w malicious intentions#and a lot of people are so afraid of being considered bad ppl that they’ll go along w it and feel like the right thing to do is rt and boost
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Pilgrimage
I made a fun & friendly post about considering all the fates worse than death for a tragedy, and I got to talking to myself about it. Self, I said, if you were asked to write a terrible fate worse than death for these boys, what would it be? Well about that…
- - -
Georgie hasn’t been to visit Jon since the apocalypse ended. Or, before that probably, she certainly hadn’t been popping in for a cuppa when she was trying to cut him out of her life. But then the world ended, and then unended, and Melanie has been insisting on having him around for dinner, or to go on a shopping trip, or just to visit the Admiral. Because they’re friends. Because this is what friends do: meet up, talk, and make sure their other friends aren’t alone.
Melanie’s been to visit Jon. Georgie hadn’t gone with her.
The… place where he lives is too creepy, she thinks. It was probably creepy back when Smirke built it, it was extra creepy when it was some impossible tower, and it’s still creepy now, even if it’s fallen down to earth. The Eye’s tower.
-
“So this is it? The Panopticon, or whatever?” Georgie felt Melanie’s hand shaking, and tightened her grip.
“…yes. I’m afraid so.”
Martin rolled his eyes. “See what I said about him being ominous?”
-
Jon opens the door before she knocks. It’s either some remnant of power in him, or he’d been watching out the window after Melanie called him. Georgie doesn’t ask.
“Hey, Jon.”
“Georgie. Hi.”
She steps inside, then stops. “Shoes on or off?”
“Oh, er… on. I haven’t quite finished cleaning all the… Shoes are probably better on.”
-
Jon was panting, standing over the nearly-empty chair where Jonah Magnus once sat. Martin laid a hand on his arm. “You did it, Jon. He’s gone.”
“That’s it? All done? You killed the big bad guy, so the apocalypse ends?”
He barely even winced at her tone. “It’s—I don’t think it’s going to be quite that simple—”
“Then why are we here—”
-
“Melanie sends her love, by the way.”
“Does she?”
“Yes.” She holds his gaze as levelly as she can. He just grins at her, holding his hand palm-out until she rolls her eyes and reaches into her bag. “Fine, and she sends her latest batch of halwa.”
“Thank you,” he says, plucking the container out of her hand and immediately popping it open to try a piece. “Mm… you can tell her she’s almost as good as my grandmother now.”
Georgie can’t hold back her laugh at that, short and disbelieving and a laugh, which she wasn’t sure she’d ever accomplish here. “Your grandmother always bought halwa at the store, you told me so—”
“Ah, yes. But I haven’t told Melanie, have I?”
“Jonathan Sims!”
-
It hurt. She’d thought she was immune to fear, to the fears, and maybe she was, to smaller ones. Normal ones. Real ones. But every ounce of impossible, enormous Fear that had clawed its way into their universe was bearing down on the tower at once, and Georgie wasn’t afraid, but it hurt.
“What now? What do we do? Jon, Jon, what happened, what do we do?”
“I…” She could see a trickle of blood coming from his nose… his eye… Hadn’t Martin said Jon couldn’t See anything about the Fears? Was that what he was trying to do? “I think… we can still stop it, maybe, but it’s… the tower, Jonah’s throne…”
“What do we have to do?”
-
They make it through about an hour, sharing out the halwa between them and chatting, about the books Jon finally has time to read, about the podcasts Georgie’s gotten Melanie into, about the really huge rug Jon’s planning to order when he gets everything cleaned up enough. It’s… it isn’t normal, but nothing’s really ever going to be normal again, is it? But it’s almost nice.
Except then she has to go and say the halwa’s made her thirsty (and it is sweet and dense and perfect, Melanie did an amazing job and she’s going to rat Jon out as soon as she gets home, and Georgie really cannot eat something that sweet at her age without something to wash it down). And then Jon gets up to make tea. And stops at the cupboard, and pulls out three mugs.
He doesn’t look at her, keeps his eyes on the kettle, on the mugs, on the tea bags, on his hands. But eventually he says, low but clear: “Whenever I make tea, I. Um. Bring some to him. He can’t really drink it, but it helps me feel better.”
And what can she say to that?
-
Jon stared at the seat, the throne, horror dawning on his face. She could tell—they all could tell—that he Knew what to do. He just had to tell them.
Martin grabbed his arm, shook him, spun him around to look at them. “Jon. I know this is—hard, for you. But what do we need to do?”
“Not us. Me. What I need to do. Someone touched by the eye, and who more than me?” He was biting at his lips, and she recognized the rhythm, from when he was stressed from essay after essay and trying to calm himself. “I have to take his seat. There has to be a king.”
“If there’s a king—” Melanie’s voice was strained, from the fear or the Fear, and Georgie tightened her grip again “—then wouldn’t it just be the same? Someone ruling over this, this ‘ruined world’?”
Jon was already shaking his head. “No, not if it’s now. Not if it’s someone who wants to stop it. Dream logic, remember? Except.”
“Except?” Melanie prompted.
“Except they won’t be able to leave. They’ll be—be trapped in the fear forever. In everyone’s fears, forever. Like I was, with the dreams, but for seven billion people—”
Georgie couldn’t help the gasp at that. “The dreams like we—with you watching all the time—”
“—or, more like our journey here, when we went through all those domains,” he continued, as if he couldn’t hear her. Maybe he couldn’t, with all his attention locked on Martin, drinking him in like it would be the last time he ever saw his face. “Because, because it’s here, and I said—Martin, I told you at the beginning, the eye can’t see inside itself, so I’d be—”
“Alone,” Martin whispered. “Always watching, and alone.”
-
She goes with him. Of course she goes with him. On some level, that’s what this visit has been about—seeing Jon, sure, but also seeing… Martin.
Martin is the whole reason Jon’s here, after all. Living in the ruins of the Panopticon. Living at all.
Georgie doesn’t look away. Doesn’t wait in the other room (the little living space Jon had made with curtains and boxes and a folding divider Melanie found for him), safe and ignorant. She knows Jon wouldn’t blame her. Might encourage her, if she brought it up, even if she said she had to go.
She thinks she might blame herself if she did.
It’s still difficult to stand there and watch without some kind of distraction, though, so she does bring her tea with her. Bobs the bag up and down (Jon remembers she likes to leave it in even after she adds sugar and milk, like some kind of monster, he’d teased back in uni, before that word became so damn loaded), clinks the spoon against the side.
She’s trying not to stare, but there’s not a lot else to look at, besides… there’s not a lot else to look at. He must have brought that little end table in here pretty soon after moving in, set it up next to the chair with a lamp and a book and… a pillow on the floor next to it.
She doesn’t ask.
Now Jon sets the third mug down and carefully, carefully pries Martin’s hand off the arm of the chair, pushes his fingers to curl around the mug, guides them down together to the table. He keeps one hand on the mug, like he’s afraid Martin will move suddenly and spill it. Maybe it’s happened before.
There’s only so long she can avoid looking, of course. And Martin looks… a lot like the last time she saw him, just after the end of the end of the world. Very, very still, sitting upright, although Jon’s gotten him some cushions and a blanket since then. His eyes are still wide, too wide, and staring at nothing. At everything. At everything but what matters.
And his lips are slowly, slowly moving.
-
“But why does it have to be you! It’s always you! The whole world is touched by the Eye now, isn’t it? Can’t it be—I wanted you to—”
“I’m—I ended the world, Martin, it’s only right I fix it.” He was pleading now. “I just—Martin, please.” Jon reached up, curling his hand around the back of Martin’s neck, and pulled him down until their lips just brushed.
He closed his eyes, and Georgie wanted to look away, leave them this one last moment together. She’d be glad, later, that she didn’t, that she kept watching, watched them kiss, watched their tears, watched Jon break away and head towards the chair. Watched Martin grab him and push him away, taking the seat himself.
“Martin, no—”
Martin turned his head, slow, so slow, smiling one last time at Jon. “When are you going to stop blaming yourself?”
-
“Is he… talking?” She moves closer, squinting. “What… what’s he saying?”
Jon smiles, brushing his thumb over Martin’s slow-moving lips. “The same things he said to people in the apocalypse, of course. No matter how many times I told him they couldn’t hear him.”
And Georgie can see it now, the minute shapes, forming words as familiar as any casual conversation.
Excuse me… Sorry about this… How are you?… You’ll get through this… Just hang on… Hi there…
- - -
End notes: Every once in a while (not every night, bcos he has 7 billion ppl to get through), if someone were to look at the unchanging body of Martin Blackwood, and if they were good at reading lips, that someone might be able to see him talking one Jonathan Sims through his fear dreams. Of course, no one does see that; the only person who’s close enough would be asleep at the time.
#algie writes things#fanfiction#ABSOLUTELY NOT A HAPPY FANFICTION#jmart sad end from georgie's pov p much#flashbacks make a sorta nonlinear timeline but u get the drift p quick i think#sidenote jon's indian but specifically malyasian indian#bcos kim coralreefskim has a galaxy brain#looked up some malaysian indian halwa recipes and they look. so good. so GOOD#my personal headcanon for melanie didn't make it into this fic but however u hc her sometimes ur cooking after the end of the world#and u learn how to make ur friend's favorite dessert bcos it comforts him#even if he keeps insisting his grandmother made it better#...listen sometimes there are bits of happiness in grief. but also the grief is horrific and overwhelming. things happen.#the magnus archives#god absolutely not trying to maintag this can u imagine.#ppl just had to deal with sadness already u want this now???#anyway. i turn martin's politeness into Bad Foreshadowing.#aren't u glad i'm not jonathan jonny writerman sims and do not have control over this narrative. aren't u glad.
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mysticroleplay did a female ban in 2020 //:
hi ! thanks for the info , anon !!! when i first received this message i was big yikes tbh , bc female bans in 2020 ?? who even does that . but . . also admittedly , i know how things and misinformation can be spread thru tumblr discourse , so i actually approached the admins of mysticroleplay myself, to ask them for their side and an Explanation of what the 'female ban' really meant , bc . it doesn't Read Well for Anyone involved dfjkndfjnfjn . ANYWAYS , here was their response : ( under the cut bc it’s long , and then i add More commentary at the bottom )
“ So, there’s a lot to unload here… as what initially was presented as a temporary tool in an attempt manage our influx of female characters, had got out of hand and taken out of context >< We hope our explanation below can gain a better understanding as to where we were coming from when implementing this ban, as we know it can come off quite… old school and not at all encouraging of those who disapprove of a gender ban in general.
When we started Mystic, we wanted to be a roleplay that didn’t care about ratios, which is why we categorize our characters by ‘stayed, left, new’ (according to our plot). In the beginning stages, we noticed the reputation roleplays were getting for caring about ratios (and ultimately understanding why it was a bad thing), which is why we made that decision in the first place.
As Mystic was growing, we noticed the influx of female characters joining, and didn’t really think much about it. However, slowly, we noticed that we had a handful of non-female desired wanted connections sitting in our tag, and there’s only so much that we admins can do to encourage gender diversity. We were also aware of the pressure a few members (we included) that had male characters felt when interacting with female characters (shipping, and etc), which was also a mildly growing concern behind the scene. As admins, we want to do our best to cater to our member’s experience and because we have encountered a certain feeling (in our own experience as members or admins, outside of Mystic) whenever there’s a heavy gender presented more than others, we couldn’t help but feel concerned. We’ve seen roleplays die when one gender overpowers the other, so we couldn’t help but wonder… should we do something about this? We’re not supposed to care about gender ratios, but our fear of our roleplaying dying due to past (separate) experiences seemingly overpowered that. (And not only that, but we’ve also been approached individually if we would consider a female ban of sorts, as we know *whether it’s a bad thing or not* that there are some people do care about ratios.)
And so, we came to the decision of implementing a temporary female ban, for various reasons. Yes, to balance our ratio to a degree, but to also encourage our members who were thinking of taking on second characters, to think about taking on a different gender. (We were also heavily wary about the backlash this would cause, but under said pressures, in a misguided attempt, did it anyway.)
That is not to say, we only encouraged male characters in the slightest. Our ban was to encourage both male and nb characters, however, we will admit, we didn’t encourage nb characters as much as we should’ve. We know now, we probably should’ve sent ourselves some anons to put forth the public desire of having gender diversity, but we’re sad to say, we didn’t. We genuinely didn’t encourage (nor do we desire) one gender over the other, but we understand, that not voicing our desire for nb characters outright, could’ve been the reason why it this female ban we implemented was taken out of context.
Within the week of closing our ban (which was only up for about a week), we received anon asking if we’d do the same for nonbinary characters. We weren’t sure what to make of this ask, because admittingly, we were afraid it was a tool someone was using to try and make us (and Mystic) look bad. We know that might sound a bit dramatic, but the three of us are particularly protective over Mystic (as it has taken over two years for us to finally bring this roleplay to light) and we didn’t want a misunderstanding to have all of our hard work go to waste. (We’re also extremely aware of the rpcs of cancel culture, and wanted to avoid that as much as possible.) So, we made the unfortunate choice of not answering it, not for any other reason than being fearful of the outcome.
Within the next day, we received an IM from one of our members that it was them who had sent the anon and have expressed deep disappointment towards us for ignoring their query. It was… shameful, and heartbreaking for us to say the least. We loved that member deeply and have grown extremely embarrassed for not meeting their needs, all out of fear. Although they have expressed that they wish to have approached us off anon (as they were aware it came off hostile), they were still disappointed as a whole and we couldn’t blame them.
We did our best to explain why we didn’t reply, and how we weren’t trying to prioritize male or female characters over nonbinary (which is certainly another story within itself), and while we thought the conversation was going quite well and civil, we were met with them ultimately deactivating and we could no longer talk things through.
The incident between the three of us and that member was a lot for us. In fact, it still affects a few of us to this day, as we’re continuously fearful of disappointing our members again. We didn’t expect for Mystic to grow this big, nor did we expect to gain traction from the rpc in general. But, through this experience, we’ve learned that we do hold some sort of responsibility for doing what we can to encourage what is needed in the rpc. (Whether we feel as though it’s our duty or not.) We’ve learned a lot from that member, and although we weren’t able to settle things to their likeness, we decided to move on with the decision of implementing a ban for both male and female characters, in hopes of encouraging trans and nonbinary characters to enter Mystic in the near future. We want to look it as taking it one step at a time to be as inclusive and accepting to all as possible, whether we’re fully capable of taking on that task ourselves.
There is a lot more to say upon the matter, which we would be happy to discuss, as we want to lay things out as transparent as possible, but we hope that all of this explains things, enough for you to form a fair opinion about us. Not once did we ever make a decision to purposefully harm a particular community. Between the three of us, we are fully supportive (as well as a part of) the LGBTQ community and have been distraught knowing we have been misunderstood, due to a misguided decision in order to control our ratios. However, that is not to say, that we didn’t harm anyone (intentional or not), and we hope moving forward, we can right our wrongs.
If you have any more concerns or questions regarding the matter, please let us know, we appreciate you approaching us privately. <3 “
i kinda do understand what they're talking abt . if u've been on my blog in the past few weeks , we've been talking heavily abt playing male muses and how they're ship-chased to no ends , and i do recognise that this is what the admins were noticing in their own rp with female muses coming in, and creating a MASS amount of wanted connections just for males , and chasing the males that were already in the rp . this is smth we've all seen time and time again , and it makes rps die , and ppl just . Click right out , bc who wants to come into a rp thats just 'ship ' 'ship' ' ship' 'ship' ??? thats not fun , and not the environment u wanna foster.
do i agree with the Actions per se , of a female ban ? no . not at all . it's very demoralizing and derogatory to female muses who AREN'T there for ships and actually for the Real purpose of rping. but i do UNDERSTAND what the admins were trying to accomplish , in order to break up the amount of ship-chasing they were seeing .
after scrolling through their blog , i did see that they were trying , somewhat, to encourage more male AND nb fcs . however, again , of course - this didn't really pan out , because . . nb muses are hardly EVER picked up , as we all know . should they have pushed MORE for nb rep , and maybe picked up a few nb chartacters themselves ? probably . admins should lead by example , a classic g line .
so . the action of them removing the female ban when they had more Males , but not really Considering as much abt the nb-representation ? not great either , but they acknowledge that in their response too , and admit they're Ashamed of how they acted . it's not my place to talk on the nb/trans community's end on this topic . simply put , if that side of the community is hurt and Damaged by these actions , then thats understandable too .
i think it's at least Slightly commendable that when i approached the admins out of the blue - they were completely 1000% transparent and honest with me abt the situation in general and what had seemingly warranted , to them, a 'female ban '
look , overall. mistakes are made . people own up to them . they apologise , and they acknowledge they’ll do better in the future . that’s SOMETHING . overall, they’re Trying to do better , and i think that that’s something important , and i do appreciate them for that . they did the wrong thing . they admitted it and owned up to it . i can understand where they were Coming from , but the execution , admittedly , was not done Great .
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[ CHRISTIAN SERRATOS ] • [ SHE/HER ] | is that [ MARY MACDONALD ] , the [ NINETEEN ] year/s old [ GRYFFINDOR ] alumnus , walking down diagon alley ? I heard that the last time they had their fortune read, they drew the [ HIEROPHANT REVERSED ] , which seems [ UNLUCKY ] . hopefully they won’t come to any harm, considering their recent choice to ally themselves with [ THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX ] . they’ll probably be fine - I know they’re [ PERSISTENT ] , though apparently they can also be [ RUTHLESS ] . what’s the worst that could happen ? |
LINKS: stats, pinboard, playlist PARALLELS: johanna mason ( the hunger games ), jessica jones ( jessica jones ), raven reyes ( the 100 ), ellie ( the last of us ), rosa diaz ( brooklyn 99 ), nancy wheeler ( stranger things ), kat edison ( the bold type ), sarah manning ( orphan black ) HELLO and welcome to the mess that is this intro!! on the bottom are some plot ideas & besides that its a big old mess! but we love disorganisation! hit this up with a like if u want me to hit u up for plots and i sure as hell will <333
history
mary had a little lamb? WRONG. mary had a little calf. because she was born on a dairy farm in the highlands of scotland ( laugh at my joke pls i worked hard on it ). she was born third to two muggles – a scottish father and a mexican mother, who loved each other deeply – and would eventually become their middle child. she could have become overlooked, but mary never felt discounted at home: while her parents were very often busy with the cows, their love ran deep.
her youth consisted of this: running through fields of grass, attending a muggle elementary where people sang songs at her ( old macdonald had a farm and mary had a little lamb ), playing with the animals, building tree houses with her brothers and sister and playing football every spare moment she got. it was good and simple and wholesome.
of course, strange things happened, as they tend to with muggleborns: she’d explode her brother’s toy when she got angry, or let things fly around the room when she was laughing. when she found out she was a witch at age eleven, things fell in its place. and the macdonalds, while traditional catholics, accepted mary, which is the most important thing of it all. her parents were shocked, yes, but they squeezed her shoulder and promised to discover this all together.
which?? very much influenced mary greatly? because it went against a lot of things they – and she, too – believed in? this has allowed her to have a faith in people, and while she may be cynical and bitter at times, that faith is still there.
hogwarts was as chaotic as home, and mary settled in quite nicely. sorted into gryffindor ( she guessed it was for her rambunctious nature, but who knew ), she found herself a second home and loved it. as it turned out, she was rather good with a wand as well – she didn’t do so good at essays, though – and genuinely liked learning ( except for history of magic. fuck that. ).
being a muggleborn had its downsides, of course, but mary never really allowed herself to feel discouraged. hurt? yes, definitely, but never discouraged. she wasn’t going to let it get to her, she told herself, but it did, especially when the harsh words turned into something more. it was during her confrontation with mulciber that mary felt true, harsh fear for the first time. she felt shut down, paralysed, depressed —– but then, after a while, she got up and took some important steps. she reported mulciber, which led to nothing, which caused her to feel angry, which in turn caused her to feel determination. if the system wasn’t going to be on her side, she’d just have to fucking change it, right? mary started throwing herself in her schoolwork, determined to join the dmle – hopefully as an auror, but any position would do. she suppressed her fear and the trauma that was there, and kept her chin up.
the entire mulciber situation is up for change, should we get a mulciber, or if it doesn’t correspondent with the plot/rp canon!
graduation rolled around and mary got the five required NEWTs to even apply. it was a nervewracking process, but once she got into auror training, she cried. like. for a year. she was so proud of herself and she felt so determined and !! man. it was such a good, defining moment. around the same time, mary joined the order; she knew the ministry was corrupt, and that it’d not allow her to do everything she wanted to, when the order DID. mary had too much anger, too much determination to fight this bullshit to just stick with the ministry, and so the order seemed like the right place.
right now, she’s fighting. she’s gritting her teeth and keeping her goals in the back in her mind and is focusing. and she does not always feel brave or confident or self assured, but that does not matter: mary macdonald always gets the fuck back up, and that’s what she will keep doing until she’s completely knocked down.
personality & tidbits
mary is a human espresso. she’s so. damn. bitter?? despite the fact that she keeps on going and that she’s fighting her ass off, she’s tired and angry that things don’t seem to be moving in the right direction, she’s feeling bitter about the fact that this kind of discrimination is happening right in front of her eyes and that she does not have enough power to stop it. she feels powerless, which makes her feel bitter, which makes her cynical.
still! mary is not necessarily a debbie downer to be around. she keeps her bitterness ( and hopelessness, even ) carefully hidden in boxes in her mind. on the outside, she’s filled with quips and smiles and quick comments! just a sociable bean, but just a bitter one.
is a dog person and will fight anyone who prefers cats. has a cairn terrier called bowie. she loves him more than anyone.
obsessed with tea, tbh. her ma always said that ‘there’s nothing a cuppa can’t fix’ and mary definitely agrees with this statement.
though is also a ‘whiskey in a teacup’ kinda gal
can be spotted wearing either a rly nice ass blazer or a jean jacket, no inbetween. either office-fancy or farmer-chique
fucking loves muggle culture and loves fellow muggleborns and !!!!!! she loves it!!!
very much in a take-no-prisoners mindset at this point re: death eaters. it kind of scares her, tbh, but mary is very much capable of murdering a death eater, even if she could stun them — she’s just done. she’s very. done. with them. and this whole shbang? will only feed into this.
mary is ruthless, that’s what it boils down to. she’s a lot more than that, of course, but i chose that trait for her app because she is --- in small things ( football matches & boardgames ) but also in bigger ones, and of course the war is the main way it shows. mary is so angry. she’s so angry and scared and tired of feeling that way and tired of being scared to lose people and herself and of death and she’s so angry that people really are this way and that they really do these things --- she wants it to stop. she wants the world to be right. and sometimes she thinks the ends do justify the means.
this is why she’s chaotic neutral and not chaotic good.
like ive had her turned to dark arts before just bc she’s so desperate to. fucking win.
and she’s also like --- mary doesnt care if she ruins herself? if she becomes a bad person who’s unable to live with the shit she’s done? as long as the world is better for it, as long as kids can go to hogwarts and feel safe and the world is a safe place for everyone. what does her soul matter in the grand scheme of things? she’d burn in hell forever if it meant the rest of the world changed for the better.
emotionally driven mess of a being
is catholic but struggles a lot with religion and feeling faithful, but she does still identify is a catholic, it’s just? complicated. it’s rly complicated and she hates it.
is a bit flighty when it comes to romance, def has a lot of one night stands/fwb situations though??? she’s just like??? i dont have time for romance its a WAR
has been trying to stop smoking for five years, but alas
mary also works part time at quality quidditch supplies because the girl loves quidditch ---- though not as much as she loves football.
a proud scot. probably lives in scotland, but i’m ... going to keep her living situaiton open and segue into Wanted Plots!
plot ideas
roomies ----- so mary is not Earning A Whole Lot Right Now but does not want to live at home any more because 1. its in the middle of nowhere and 2. most importantly, she’s afraid of endangering her family. she needs roomies! i’d love for her to live in glasgow/edinburgh/london/idk a city!!!
hook ups/fwb’s/etc ----- mary is what the old ppl call promiscuous and she sleeps around. so ! let’s talk! former hook ups! booty calls! friends with benefits! etc etc etc!
party pals ---- mary likes going to pubs and clubs in the muggle part of town bc it is a LIT way to escape the reality of the wizarding world and also, muggle clubs have better music. come party w her!!!!
in the dragon’s den together ---- fellow ministry employees who side eye the ministry and whom mary can sip tea and judge their colleagues with
mudbloods club ---- mary loves her fellow muggleborns and i would love some muggleborn friends that she can be buds with. ranting about dumb pureblood names and traditions and the fact that wizards dont have movies
general friendship ideas ---- im just going to a bunch of ideas here: hogwarts friends, ride or dies, order pals, friendly exes, fellow tea drinkers that she can go on coffee/tea dates with, friends who are growing apart bc of the war (my fave), etc.
etc ---- some other ideas i want to spitball: purists who h8 on mary’s life, fellow diagon alley employees, fellow order members, Annoyances, there is solidarity in being scottish, ministry connections, etc etc etc HIT ME UP
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January 14th-January 20th, 2019 CTP Archive
The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from January 13th, 2019 to January 20th, 2019. The chat focused on Sunstrike and Bluemist: An Origin Story by ShaRose49.
Featured Comment:
Chat:
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!
Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Sunstrike and Bluemist: An Origin Story by ShaRose49~! (http://sunstrikeandbluemist.thecomicseries.com/)
You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PST), so keep checking back for more! You have until January 20th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!
QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?
QUESTION 2. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?
QUESTION 3. Who do you think Kairo being a double agent for and for what reason? What are the organization’s goals? How does Kat and Evan’s training factor into the organization’s goals to the point it’s an advantage?
QUESTION 4. Do you feel the secret police are a force for good or a force for evil? How might Kat’s dad’s return to investigations play a role in the story, especially considering he’s investigating super-human traffickers?
DeNay
Kat is definitely my favourite character. Hey what's not to love? She's fiery, driven, sweet, and wild. And she has green hair... I love that she doesn't let anything stop her. Not the prosthetic leg, not the challenges of being a mutant, not anyone else's fears. She courageously stands up for what she believes is right.
RebelVampire
QUESTION 5. Why do you think Evan wants to keep his true self hidden, even from Kat? Do you think Evan will open up more as time goes on? How might his work for the secret police help or hurt him where this is concerned?
ShaRose49
I’m encouraged that some people really like Kat. She’s a real outlet for me
These are really interesting questions, some of them I haven’t really thought of
Idk if I’m allowed to answer a question since I’m the author, but I think my favourite scene so far is the scene in the bedroom
DeNay
I think Evan has a lot of pain and scars and he's afraid to open up and create attachments because he might lose them. To me he seems equally scared of getting hurt and hurting others. That's a theory anyhow.
And I think he will open up more, especially with someone like Kat around.
As for secret police..I think it will force him out of his comfort zone, and that's probably in and of itself going to be very good for him...can't wait to see where it all goes.(edited)
snuffysam
Favorite scene was the fight with the mugger. It was a great showcase of the two's powers, and also the mugger was kind of funny.
my favorite is dad. he's not perfect, but he tries his hardest, and i love him for it
ShaRose49
Awwwwww! That is so cool @snuffysam!
Usually people like the teens best so it’s refreshing to hear a different perspective but you’re totally right
@DeNay well you’re not wrong, but hiding your true self is probably more fear of what others will think if they knew his true self
@DeNay And yeah, his comfort zone is like a cage
RebelVampire
QUESTION 6. Do you think working for the secret police will be everything Kat dreamed of? What unfortunate obstacles do you think might interrupt Kat’s dreams of living openly as herself?
RebelVampire
1) my favorite scene is probably the bedroom scenes. if only cause shallow-ly, i really loved evan just walking through the damn wall. hes so dang casual about it that i can help but admire how normalized the powers are to them in comparison to other ppls reactions. 2) the dad because he walks that fine line between looking out for the kids' safety and acknowledging that they are ppl who need room to grow and become their own ppl. that honestly a really rare depiction that i feel we dont get to see enough of in comics. 3) i want to assume its for an agency that is trying to disstablize the use of things like secret police. and the advantage comes in that if they can show the secret police are dangerous and have super powered ppl working for them, they can convince others to shut it down. 4) i have mixed feelings on the secret police. i assume its a bit of both. the little guys just want to do good things for the world. but the larger entity has probably slowly corrupted or something. become riddled with office politics. something like that. i feel the dad returning to investigations is significant to the story since hes probably gonna find leads the kiddos are gonna follow. 5) i think evan wants to keep his true self hidden cause he doesnt trust anyone and kind of hates everyone secretly cause he hates himself. i actually think working for the secret police is gonna hurt with him opening up. cause i feel hes always gonna get into trouble doing with kat wants instead of developing as his own person and its gonna get overwhelming. 6) i dont think the secret police will be everything kat dreamed of XD cause i think kat is gonna find when an organization doesnt have huge oversight, bad things tend to happen. not to mention, i feel like she has this delusion shell suddenly be accepted with open arms by the world when more likely theres gonna be some levels of discrimination.
ShaRose49
I love how in thought out these answers are
Thought out I meant
snuffysam
yeah i think the secret police aren't going to be as rosy as kat expects. there's levels of bureaucracy, or she isn't allowed to be open the way she wants, or something...
ShaRose49
Well I guess we’ll see. I do think @RebelVampire is the most accurate when describing Evan’s internal struggle so far. And I love how many people favour the dad, Derek. And it sounds kind of like you guys think the Secret Police is like S.H.I.E.L.D. or something lol
And yes, while Kat is a beautiful gem she is too accepting to the point where she is naive and even clueless. But what else would you expect from someone who’s grown up kind of in hiding with no or few friends? It’s actually amazing that Evan is more cautious and less trusting, but to be fair he’s had some traumatic experiences with people, much more so than Kat, but I won’t spoil it
I didn’t expect people to think so highly of Derek I thought I was better at writing younger characters so thanks you guys🥳
RebelVampire
QUESTION 7. In general, what tasks do you think Kat and Evan will be doing for the secret police? Do you think Kat and Evan will run into other people with abilities? Do you believe the two will be able to handle it, or will they be outmatched?
DeNay
Hmm that's an interesting question...
I'm not really sure what they'll all be up to, but I'm definitely curious to see. I'm guessing they will run into some other mutants down the road...although I can't really see them fighting one of their "kind."
ShaRose49
Oh reaaaally?
You can’t imagine the, fighting, say, a mutant SUPERVILLAIN??
I’m not saying that’s gonna happen this episode, but keep in mind this story has superhero themes
As for other mutants showing up this episode...let’s just say there may be a cameo
DeNay
Well, maybe I could imagine that... Sounds pretty awesome.
snuffysam
I'm not sure what the secret police will be willing to let Kat & Evan do at first. Because even though they are supermutants, they're also children. Maybe they'll be sent to deal with parking violations at first?
Delphina
Whoo, finally caught up with work, so I can read comics again! I'm really enjoying the family dynamic in this one and probably like Kat the most. She's very earnest and energetic about her goals, and I'm looking forward to seeing if the secret police will encourage that or just add layers of moral grey.
I'm assuming Evan's parents died in a tragic mutant-power-related accident that he blames himself for and he was trying to attempt suicide back there before Kat called out to help with her prosthetic leg. I would hope he learns how to overcome his feelings of guilt and shame, but that seems like a long road and I could also see him giving in to those dark feelings and becoming an antagonist. Too early in the story to really tell!
(The banner at the top with Kairo and Kat in the foreground and Evan's eyes menacingly in the background indicates the latter from a design choice standpoint though. )(edited)
ShaRose49
@snuffysam Parking violations XD I’m dying
@Delphina wow you are perceptive. Not 100% right but you’ve noticed a lot of subtle details
You’re really good at examining Evan
@Delphina and yeah, work’s been a little nuts for me too recently
RebelVampire
lol parking violations. XD somehow i dont think being children will make them go easy on them. cause they already didnt care about the children fact when they hired them. and if them being kids bugged them all that much thats probably when they wouldve decided it wasnt a good idea.
ShaRose49
I think you’re sorta right
ShaRose49
But technically they’re not hired yet they’re just in training
RebelVampire
QUESTION 8. How exactly do you believe Kairo ends up working with Kat and Evan, and what is the mess he supposedly gets them into? Do you believe they’ll manage to get out of it?
(the archive for the chat on MoonSlayer is now available~! https://comicteaparty.com/post/182104413735/january-7th-january-13th-2019-ctp-archive)
RebelVampire
7) i assume theyre going to be handling super powered ppl and perhaps other situations where the situation is easily solved with their powers. like evan's walk through wall ability could come in really handy for doing the sneaky sneaks. but i assume super villains cause this is why you get ppl with superpowers, to fight the super villains that regular civilians cant. as for their ability to handle it, they are 1000% going to be outmatched i think for a while. mostly because youth breeds arrogance and cavalier attitudes while their inexperience breeds clumsiness for lack of a better word. not the best combo. 8) i assume kairo specifically requested it, and im going to guess that the situation is them having to fight a super powered bad guy or something. cause for kids just starting out in the secret police, thats not a situation youd want to be involved in right off the bat. i assume theyll manage to get out of it though. just cause if they dont the comic ends cause everybody be dead.
ShaRose49
Yeah everyone dies XD
People who weren’t familiar with anime kept asking me why Kairo had no eyes on that one panel. It was a little hard to explain lol
RebelVampire
QUESTION 9. Overall, how do you think being “superheroes” will change Kat and Evan, both in regards to their own personalities and their views of the world?
Delphina
Kat's been strong-willed and taking risks and doing things she's not supposed to because she feels it's right, so I expect that'll get her into a fair bit of trouble when going after bad guys is her job. Evan is less risk-averse, but also prone to being pulled into trouble by Kat. I expect their problems are going to get a little more complex working with double agents and sides may become more difficult to choose, but I'm curious where becoming less sheltered and open to the world about their powers will take them, since we haven't seen many other examples of how people with powers are treated in society. Is it an X-Men "everyone knows they're around and hates them" thing or a Superman "superpowers are rare and letting people know my secret will be a huge hassle for me"?
ShaRose49
It’s probably more like X-Men
And yeah, Kay and Evan have a lot to learn, but I think they really balance each other out, or they will eventually
Kat stupid autocorrect
snuffysam
i think both good things and bad things will happen to kat & evan due to be more open with their powers. but it'll end up with kat seeing the good side of people being helped by them, and evan will focus on all the people who look at them funny.
ShaRose49
Haha!! That’s so sweet
@Delphina Were you the one who came up with the Evan turning evil theory? I spent a few seconds scribbling doodles based on this. I think I scared myself
ShaRose49
I think it’s the last day, so I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to read this comic and for chatting about it (and listening to me geek out). I also wanna thank Comic Tea Party for hosting this!
snuffysam
'bout 26 hours left, yeah. Thanks for offering your comic up! Discussing stuff has been really fun so far!
ShaRose49
@snuffysam Aw, thanks!! Yeah I’ve had so much fun too
Also, as for whether or not Evan turns evil...that depends on what you define as evil
khkddn
welp i showed up to this discussion late but nevertheless i have things to say that are pretty similar to what others have said
first off my favorite character is kat. i decided this when she was like "by the way, you disgust me :)" to that criminal in the beginning of the story. great moment! i also like her design a lot, and the comic's use of bright colors in general
kat and evan view their role in the world v differently and i don't think they'll change easily. maybe evan will come around to accepting that it's okay to be in the spotlight, but i think it's more likely he'll keep wanting to hide away and that'll interfere with their work. even if he doesn't become a full on villain i think he'll at least want to do his own thing
as for kat, i'm worried for her, because i always worry about upbeat characters lol. what if being a Hero isn't what she expected huh, what if it sucks at first? i think evan would handle a reality shock better than kat since he isn't that enthusiastic about it to begin with. but kat might end up being really disappointed until she can adjust.
i really hope evan doesn't turn evil (or, like... evil adjacent?). then turn into a sibling vs sibling fight and ahhh oh no ;_;
Beef Liver
I hope being super heroes won't change Kat and Evan TO much... I really love who they are!
@ShaRose49 Thanks for writing the comic so we could discuss it!
RebelVampire
QUESTION 10. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?
RebelVampire
9) i think for kat she's going to learn that doing the right thing is less black & white than she wants to believe. and that sometimes ppl do bad things with good intentions. so playing superhero is complicated and not just this 100% awesome thing. and i think shes really going to have to come to terms with the fact powers dont make her invincible and that ppl can get hurt as bystanders. as for her personality, i think overall itll mature her and make her more conscious of how her actions affect others at the end of the day. as for evan, i think hes gonna have an internal conflict about his personal feelings on his powers vs. the world showing him he can make a positive impact. and so while not evil, i think its gonna make him super angst for a while until eventually he chills out and learns to care about himself. i also think hell learn some independence and that he doesnt just have to follow kat everywhere. 10) im actually most looking forward to more world-building. seeing things like how the secret police are generally regarded, how powers are regarded, who kairo might be working for, etc. i think these are some elements thatll really set the stage for the future for kat and evan.
ShaRose49
@Beef Liver My pleasure!
@khkddn I’m so glad you like the bright colours!:
@RebelVampire You’ll See more world building soon! Kim looking forward to it as well. And as for Kat and Evan changing, @Beef Liver don’t worry, they won’t change drastically right away. However I think they both need to change, perhaps especially Evan. We’ll see why later on
EhNeli
Evan is my favorite. I'm sorry I'm not very good at elaborating (I did terrible in high school english class xl )
snuffysam
One thing I'm really looking forward to is Kat & Evan's first day at the secret police. Just seeing how various people there react to their powers and stuff.
ShaRose49
@EhNeli no worries mate.
I guess I’m looking forward to drawing more of the awesome sibling relationship and going into depth with Kairo. If he doesn’t seem like an important character yet get ready...
@snuffysam I’m really looking forward to that too. I don’t think it will be too long from now (I less it takes me ages to draw cause of work or something)
*unless
RebelVampire
COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!
Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Sunstrike and Bluemist: An Origin Story this week! Please also give a special thank you to ShaRose49 for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Sunstrike and Bluemist: An Origin Story, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!
Read and Comment: http://sunstrikeandbluemist.thecomicseries.com/
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gonna be doin some late additions to that ask meme since i was asked a bunch...! it’s a lot for four dif chars so i’ll be splitting it up into two posts. i might have to skip a few questions but we’ll see
here’s the gunner and xinn edition! i was asked uhhh... 1-6 and 9-19
gunner first!
Their physical weak spots: gunner is speedy and evades a lot, but can’t take too many solid hits in general-- anything that disarms him or messes with his ability to move/think fast will hamper him a lot. he’s actually mostly primarily weak to over-exerting his magic and making himself sick/’irradiated’ Their emotional/moral weak spots: he can be too stoic and too cocky and launch into things headfirst without properly assessing the situation or consulting his allies Scars or painful spots: his right arm/side is aaaalllllllll leyline scars! Best places to kiss on their body: he is partial to shoulder/upper back/neck/jaw/near ear kisses. also scar kisses Guilty pleasures: it’s not a guilty pleasure so much as a Secret Pleasure but gunner’s surprisingly talented at baking/cooking. he’s also very into sweets specifically chocolate Their vices (physical or emotional): it’s not particularly severe for him, but he sometimes turns 2 Substances when hyper stressed Humiliating memories: god i’m sure there’s a Lot but i gotta develop him more here. he probably has quite a few from growing up in novus but not being much of a typical asura. plus some embarrassing combat defeats Fears/phobias: afraid he’s gonna squandered his extended lifespan and amount to nothing despite that, afraid he’s gonna end up losing everything he has again like he did in the chak attack on rata novus, afraid he’s just been constantly making the wrong decisions and everything that’s happened to him is his fault and that he could’ve solved it if he was just Better, afraid that bad things are going to just keep happening to him Bad or petty habits: god he can be very stubborn and petty and aggressive or passive aggressive at times... he has a bad habit of overfocusing on himself and not considering others in a situation Grudges and vendettas: he’s got a grudge against Every Single Chak and will go out of his way to kill them. he loathes the inquest for all the shit they’ve done to ppl he loves and all the havoc they’ve caused with his DNA, and he’s also still bitter at zinn for leaving his people behind (he was very.. smug when he learned how zinn died) What gets them flustered: gunner is very strongly emotional despite acting stoic so it’s pretty easy to get him riled up into an argument... anything about synergetics or related to ppl gunner cares for or his fighting strats is a 1 way ticket to Yell Town Ingrained habits/forces of habit: he’s crossing his arms like 24/7 and he’s also a very paranoid person who is constantly surveying the area and whips his head about every time he hears A Noise.. he’s on his tactical survivalist fighter game like all the time What it takes to make them cry: takes a LOT to make him cry bc he bottles those emotions hardcore. things related to his parents or setting off his “alchemy why me, why do bad things keep happening to ME??” complex will do it Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’: he keeps the novan thing concealed but u all here on tumblr get to be privvy to it. he’s also very clammed up about how the mists affected him... Regrets: he’s constantly picking over and scrutinizing his past actions, big and small, and wondering how he could’ve done things better or if he could’ve prevented such huge messes by acting a little differently Things they’ll never admit: he’s bottled this a whole ton so he tends to be less aware of it tbh, but inside he’s a big huge softie who’s very emotional about a lot and he should bottle things less and he wants more gentleness in his life. he has a hard time admitting to himself that showing emotions isn’t Bad People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them: depends a lot on the situation.... idk much specifics but gunner def has had to kill people and generally views it as a survival necessity (think like, fighting enemies ingame-- bandits, centaurs, djinn, whatever). he doesn’t like needless killing. whenever he does have to kill someone he’s slightly crestfallen a bit, he does trudge onwards but the general concept he gets hung up on was how that person had a whole world and spirit inside them and he’s put that to an end now
aaaaaaaaand here’s xinnux--
Their physical weak spots: xinn is speedy and can put great force behind stabbing/throwing with his knives/machetes but he mostly marches in with his pets to attack things, so anything that disarms him or impedes his movement or separates him from his pets will render him useless. good luck catching him tho he’s like a mouse on red bull Their emotional/moral weak spots: xinnux is Les Enfants he gets emotional and confused about a whole lot of things. he doesn’t have a bad bone in his body but he’s still figuring out how morality works; he doesn’t quite Conceptualize death and good vs bad yet Scars or painful spots: he’s got a lot of weird scars from inquest tests and he doesn’t like any of them, they physically hurt and remind him of Bad Things Best places to kiss on their body: i’m just gonna slide in here for future ref, xinn physically appears to be 20 atm (his bday was nov 25th! woo!) but he is literally two years old and the narrative handles him as a child!! (xinn being a child who’s not been given a childhood and has been forced to grow up fast is Very Much a plot point, even!) so i’m not gonna b answerin any kind of questions about romance/sexuality for xinn. xinn is a toddler in a big boy’s body, he has dirt to crawl around in and retrieve bugs from, that’s his life atm he doesn’t mess with adult business like this Guilty pleasures: xinn feels guilty about nothing. he WILL binge eat what he pleases. he WILL ‘accidentally’ steal things. he WILL just literally do whatever he wants at any time. the concept of feeling guilty for something that is fun is like, beyond him Their vices (physical or emotional): this isn’t rlly a vice but like i said since xinn has a hard time conceptualizing things like death and pain, he will sometimes be a bit cruel in his treatment towards others, but it’s out of obliviousness and not direct malice.. he def has a strong sense of empathy he just.. doesn’t Understand things.... (think about when you were a kid and were cruel to animals not bc you hated them but bc you were a tiny untamed infant monkey who acted on instinct and “i want to touch that”, but the thought of “this thing might not enjoy being touched” wasn’t something that occurred to you because your tiny walnut brain couldn’t compute that yet. that’s about xinn’s predicament.) Humiliating memories: there’s probably a few memories he has of bouts with the inquest and tryin to run away but bein wrangled back into his cell and he’s like, embarrassed about his lack of strength there whilst also bein seething mad at the inquest for this all Fears/phobias: A Lot. he’s filled with fear and doesn’t quite process any of it. right now he just knows that feeling hurty things is bad and he feels that and he doesn’t like it. he is also really afraid he will never be Normal and it’s not really a fear he can do much about, or rlly directly a fear, but he’s very bitter and sad about not getting to be a kid and just be born and have a normal childhood. more normal phobia wise, he hates small enclosed spaces with no easy exits, and he hates doctor-related stuff, and he hates being alone Bad or petty habits: xinn can be very stubborn and if he’s told not to do something he will usually run off and try to do it either out of ignorance or just, direct spite Grudges and vendettas: big big ol grudge against all inquest/former inquest. except the one who let him free, that guy’s cool. fuck everyone else tho What gets them flustered: challenging xinn to an argument on literally anything will get him very mad very fast and he doesn’t know how to argue. it VERY LITERALLY will turn into arguing with a child Ingrained habits/forces of habit: he’s always scanning for exits in a room What it takes to make them cry: not much. xinn cries easily, though he does hate crying in front of people and tries to stop it. he doesn’t like bein reminded of his past and also he hates being told he’s wrong or that he can’t do something Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’: not rlly a Dark Secret uh, despite being physically 20 he still a lot of the time really wants to be treated like a kid and just entrust himself to parental units and be fussed over jhkgd he does fluctuate on this tho and can absolutely get very “no im adult!!!” too Regrets: the childhood thing i guess? he also feels regret when he unknowingly acts cruelly and it adversely affects someone/something. rn his brain is still forming the concepts of regret, really Things they’ll never admit: xinn can’t really form his brain around concepts like this. he doesn’t particularly have anything complex going on that he would never admit. he has stuff that’s tough to admit, but he does a poor job of hiding it People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them: i’m sure he’s killed at least one person and probably some critters and like i’ve mentioned he doesn’t really Conceptualize death yet. he knows death is Bad but doesn’t really currently have the emotional development to put himself in other people’s heads and understand why killing someone is so bad and tragic
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Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll
1- what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpaper?my phone has pictures of my friends and my desktop is still dan avidan i keep forgetting to change it
2- have you ever had a crush on a teacher?no
3- what as your last text message?sent? it was “me too”
4- what do you see yourself doing in ten years?probably dying
5- if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?in someone’s arms
6- what was your coolest halloween costume?uhh probably last years even tho it wasn’t that great bc i made it myself and had a styled wig and everything
7- what was your favorite 90s show?i was not alive in the 90s
8- who was your last kiss?still zee
9- have you ever been stood up?no
10- favorite ice cream flavor?strawberry or cotton candy
11- have you ever been to las vegas?no
12- your favorite pair of shoes?probably my pink ones they’re soft and have tiny one inch platforms
13- honestly, have you ever cheated on a significant other?no
14- what is your favorite fruit?watermelon or strawberry
15- have you ever talked to anyone on tumblr that your could see yourself dating/having sex with? if possible?well i mean one of my exes i met over tumblr so it’s not a wild concept to me but currently i’m not like,,, interested in others
16- are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?long term
17- do you smoke? if so, what?no
18- what do you do to get over your anger?rant about it on this blog or sometimes to a friend i guess
19- do you believe in god?idk man
20- does the person you’re in love with know it?yeah
21- favorite position?sleeping
22- what’s your horoscope sign?leo
23- your fears?being abandoned, myself sometimes, everyone secretly hating me, never being loved, etc
24- how many pets do you have? what kind?three, a cat and two fish
25- what never fails to turn you on?uhhhhhh
26- your idea of a perfect first date?idk uh,, get food maybe hold hands a little
27- what is something most people don’t know about you?idk,, i guess most people don’t know what i look like during a full on breakdown that i’m not trying to disguise
28- what makes you feel the happiest?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
29- what store do you shop at most often?i dont shop a lot
30- how do you feel about oral? giving and or receiving? never gave or received, both sound good to me tho
31- do you believe in karma?idk
32- are you single?yeah
33- do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? the best way to apologize is to mean it and not expect forgiveness if you really fucked up and to be genuine and honest and if you do those things it shouldn’t really matter whether you choose flowers or candy
34- are you a good swimmer?i mean,, i won’t drown
35- coffee or tea?tea
36- online shopping or shopping in person?i do both
37- would you rather be older or younger than your current age?i’d prefer to keep my age so i don’t fuck up the timeline of my life thank u very much
38- cats or dogs?how can i choose
39- are you a competitive person?i don’t think so
40- do you believe in aliens?yes
41- do you like dancing?don’t really do it much
42- what kind of music do you listen to?many kinds, mostly anything but country
43- what is your favorite cartoon character?how can i choose just one
44- where are you from?albany
45- eat at home or eat out?eat out
46- how much more social are you when you’re drunk?i’ve never been drunk
47- what was the last thing you bought for yourself?i don’t remember
48- why do you think your followers follow you?idk actually why do u guys follow me
49- how many hours do you sleep at night?it varies, sometimes like ten sometimes none
50- what worries you most about the future?i pretty much rely on the fact that i’ll probably die before it matters but if i don’t die i’ll have no idea what i’m doing
51- if you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?not very, i’m not friends with myself tho so
52- are you happy with yourself?no, never really have been
53- what do you wish you didn’t know?i don’t know
54- what big lesson could people learn from your life?i guess,, not to take people for granted
55- if you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?what
56- what’s your favorite website?i visit this hellsite most often i guess
57- what’s the habit your proudest of breaking?the only habit i could think of that i broke was biting my nails
58- what was your most recent trip of over 50 miles?idk how many miles i travel bc i don’t drive
59- what’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?idk
60- what do you order when you eat chinese food?sweet and sour chicken and white rice
61- if you had to be names after one of the fifty states what would it be?no
62- if you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?alright so there are three things that i feel like i’m able to do well those three things are draw, write, and play pokemon and i’m a failure at everything else i do so probably an art class or creative writing class
63- favorite kind of chips?i like doritos
64- favorite kind of sandwich?grilled cheese
65- which do you use more often, dictionary or thesaurus?dictionary
66- have you ever been stung by a bee?yeah, only once, and i have a history of not fucking eating for whole days and that was one of those days and i guess the sting just triggered the dehydration and all that and i got really dizzy and my legs gave out and my mom had to carry me home
67- what’s your favorite form of exercise?my what now
68- are you afraid of heights?more afraid of what i’d do to myself than the height itself
69- what’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?eight grade science, i had a bunch of friends in that class and we hated the teacher at the time and the shit he did and we were constantly like going insane and here’s the main reason: my mom went to school with that teacher and she managed to find a fuckin. story that he wrote in 11th grade and she showed it to me and my god it was so bad and the main character was such a self insert and i was like “oh my god this is amazing” and you know what i fuckin did? u know what i did? i decided to make c o p i e s of the story so i could bring it into school and show my friends. so i had like ten copies and we gave one to my friend kevin however. we gave it to him DURING science class. so instead of doing his work kevin is sitting back there reading this story and laughing at it and the teacher is like “what are you doing kevin?” and kevin, instead of putting it away and being like “my work”, was like “oh i’m reading your 11th grade story” and at this point i’m like “oh fuck” and then the teacher asked where he got it and he points to me and i’m like “OH FUCK” so he comes over and asks where i got it and i’m like “surprise my mom went to school with you” and he’s like “i haven’t seen this story in years” and guess who’s like “DO U WANT A COPY” and reaches over me and into my backpack to pull out a fuckin copied version :^) anyway that day was wild some girl i never talk to who didn’t even know my dead name let alone my actual name came up to me asking for a copy
70- what’s your favorite breakfast?pancakes or waffles
71- do you like guacamole?no
72- have you ever been in a physical fight?no
73- what/who are you thinking about right now?um
74- do you like cuddling?yes
75- are you holding onto something you need to let go of?can we not have this conversation over tumblr’s ask system thanks
76- have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?i live with myself every day lmao
77- favorite city you’ve been to?nyc!!
78- would you break the law to save a family member?probably
79- talk about an embarrassing moment?me, as a person
80- are there any causes you strongly believe in?idk
81- what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?not sure
82- fav day of the week?none
83- do you consider yourself sexually open minded?idk what that means
84- how do you feel about porn?i don’t watch it really, but if that’s your thing then it’s your thing
85- which living celebrity would you like to know?idk
86- who was your hottest ex?it’s hard for me to like,, determine that because my sexual attraction to someone usually isn’t there until i start liking them romantically (in most cases, there’s people i never liked romatically but found attractive or people i found attractive before i liked them but that’s not the case with anyone i actually dated) and it disappears when i don’t like them romantically anymore so ???? also rude question especially considering at least two of my exes follow me here
87- do you want/have kids?don’t have them, might have them but that’s dependent on whether or not my partner is able to take care of kids i’m not gonna have kids if i know that my partner can’t be a good parent to them. also still not sure if i want them myself
88- has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?no
89- do you get easily distracted?hell yeah
90- ass or titties?why… choose…..
91- what is your favorite word?to use in writing, probably “gentle”. to use in speech, probably “fuckin”
92- how do you feel about tattoos?i want a lot, i have two
93- do you have any pets?this was already a question?
94- how tall are you? 5′5
95- how old are you?14
96- 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?i don’t get complimented on specifics, the most i get it usually like “you look nice today” or sometimes ppl say they like my makeup but that’s not a physical feature of mine
97- is there anything you’re really passionate about?i love,, the jims and the piano
98- do you have trust issues?idk, i don’t let most people see me cry or see me having a breakdown and i only really trust a few people with most stuff and it’s usually because there was something that happened in the past that allowed them to already know stuff like that and they were good about it and i was like “oh, then they’ll be alright about it and i don’t have to explain myself to them because they already know” but?????
99- do you believe in love at first sight?god no, what if they’re a dick?? u can’t judge a book by it’s cover. also i think that now i’ll have to know someone pretty well to start liking them because of past and current events
100- what are some words that you live by? why? i don’t have a specific quote or anything but. if you love someone tell them. i’ve said this before, and i don’t mean specifically romantically in fact in some cases you should keep that to yourself so no one is made uncomfortable but like. tell your mom or your best friend or your dad or your grandma that you love them because they could be gone real soon or you could be gone real soon and they should know that you love them before that happens
thank u for asking <3
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can i just say that i appreciat that ur open about ur atheism? i've been an atheist for around a decade but the majority of my friends including ppl that i'm pretty close w/ are very religious and i've always been a little scared to tell them that i'm atheist. i don't want them to think less of me for it. so i really, really appreciate ur courage about your beliefs.
Oh, man, I totally understand where you’re coming from. I still feel uncomfortable telling people too, sometimes, because I don’t know how they’ll take it. Console yourself, at least, that even if they did reject that aspect of you, it only indicates that they are closed-minded, and not that there is something wrong with you. It’s more of a “their problem, not yours” kind of thing, but I know it sure as hell doesn’t feel that way when you’re the one facing the consequences.
Like a lot of other things, visibility is critical for acceptance and understanding. So I’ve been trying to be more blaséabout stuff lately (mental illness, sexuality, political opinions, etc). Even so, religion is the one thing that remains very hard for me to discuss with people! Especially because of how complicated things actually are for me.
(this got long, so, uh, ramble under the cut)
I was raised Methodist. My dad taught an adult version of Sunday school. My family was religious, but only in an observational sense, and a “I’ll pray for people” sense, not in like a bigoted or strict way. Very casual stuff.
But even then I was afraid to question things openly. It’s very ironic how you can have people who really don’t read their own holy texts, or really know very much about their own religion, but who will snap and defend it tooth and nail when (deeply) questioned on stuff like logic, even when they’re clearly not 100% sure what they’re defending. And that’s just the laid-back types. God help you (haha) if you actually try to have a meaningful theological conversation with a born-again, literalist type.
My brother became an atheist at some point early on, and I always had a vague disquiet about observing certain religious things, or the stories we were supposed to believe. I like knowing the reasons behind everything, so even as a kid I hunted for facts and origins of stuff. Simply through researching the origins of modern holiday traditions I ended up finding paganism, and for many, many years quietly sought information about many different sides/types of religion.
When I was doing this it felt extremely taboo, because I approached it with a willingly open mind, and not simply as a Christian. I actually read through the first half of the bible at the ripe old age of like, uh, 13 or 14, trying to better understand the religion–and hilariously THAT was an even bigger factor in me becoming an atheist. Many people share that sentiment, too. When you actually sit down and read the source materials for these things, it just … well. Things become clear.
Anyway. My unease with Abrahamic faiths, and some other major faiths, combined with my curiosity and love of the occult led me to become at first a “Christian Wiccan” (ugh), then (quickly thereafter) just a Wiccan, and then, after a long deliberation, an atheist.
This whole transition was SUPER uncomfortable for multiple reasons. First, I felt uneasy, always looking over my shoulder, you know, either for angry people or an angry god. Secondly, my parents didn’t like it and tried to dissuade me, leading to many awkward conversations. Thirdly, my already atheist brother would express pride in my skepticism but at the same time tell me it was only inevitable that I would become an atheist, mocking me for keeping any ties to religion at all. If he hadn’t been one of those arrogant kind of atheists, and hadn’t made digs at me, I probably would have become an atheist even sooner tbh.
Even so I haven’t exactly severed all ties to tradition. I actually still consider myself an Eclectic Wiccan, but I’m an atheist one (just like how there are atheist Christians, atheist Muslims, etc). I’ve kind of looked at religion as a whole and done a lot of soul searching with it, pulling out what I thought the purpose and sentiment behind the traditions and stories were from multiple cultures (see the “eclectic” part). I examined the sentiments of things, and the way doing certain things made one feel, and why.
It’s really hard to explain what I think these days and why I do what I do. I guess it boils down to a mix of philosophy, anthropology/history, and community. I see the worth in certain aspects of religion, in the sense of them being stories with a moral. The moral is the important part. You know how in the bible Jesus would tell all these parables (moral stories obviously not based in reality) to get across an idea to prove a point? That’s literally how every religion is to me, They’re all parables. That’s the best way I can explain it to people like my mother, who want to understand but are firmly rooted in religion and don’t intend to change.
The problem these days with expressing skepticism is that people are very closed to it. Even if they can understand why YOU feel a certain way about something, they may never ask themselves the same questions in earnest.
So many people view atheism as a destruction of society, of morals, of all structure to life. Some people even see it as their own religion’s view of evil (Christians viewing atheists as Satan worshipers, for example. Sorry, but, uh … Satan is a Abrahamic concept?? lmao) People see atheists and they’ve been conditioned to either think “EVIL!” or “poor, lost soul in need of guidance”, when the reality is … neither.
There is this toxic problem of religion having a stranglehold on morality. “Only the religious can be ethical, understanding, humble, etc” … It’s so untrue. In fact in many ways atheists can be MORE understanding, humble, moral, etc. than those who strictly adhere to what they believe are divine laws. The general point of religion is to be this system of philosophy that is told through stories regarded as true, rather like a “morality for dummies” kind of book. But if you can understand the underlying principles of that morality, you don’t actually need the fictitious examples to go back to for reference.
The problem inherent in all religions is that they have become so complex in their iterations, so needlessly convoluted, that they begin to lose sight of their true purposes. They can even spur concepts that go AGAINST their true purpose, like racism, xenophobia, homophobia, sexism, etc., and in those ways can be very damaging to society–a society they are meant to heal and bring together.
There are many people, even religious people, that are aware of that too. They gloss over certain bits of doctrine in favor of the larger picture of love and acceptance, and honestly, bless those people.
Anyway. I know I made this super long for no reason (but that’s just what happens when someone gets me going on theology). I guess what I’m wanting to say is, despite what many might think, there’s nothing wrong with being an atheist, nor should you be made to feel ashamed of it.
There’s a big stigma surrounding it because of so-called “intellectual elitism,” and people like to whine that only narcissists and assholes who think they’re smarter than everyone else are atheists, but that’s really unfair. There are certainly some atheists who openly mock religions, and are as bad as determined missionaries when it comes to converting people … but that’s their personality problem, not everyone’s.
Being an atheist doesn’t mean being an asshole (that’s a choice). Atheists can actually be some of the kindest people around. And it really does require a great deal of intelligence, empathy, and bravery, to work oneself past religious dogma, especially if you grew up indoctrinated with it.
So I understand why you feel you can’t safely disclose your beliefs (or lack thereof) to people, but I am proud of you anyway, and I don’t want you to feel like you should be embarrassed about it, okay? As long as you have a kind heart, it doesn’t really matter what you do or do not believe. Maybe if you approach the subject from those familiar angles, it will be easier to explain, and you can one day not have to hide anymore.
❤
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Episode 7 - “And I have no idea what a Willa is.” -Chips

Bryce
I guess Liana voted me? how odd. Colin voted Nicholas I presume but uh me and Quillynn lived which is all that matters tbh! Im happy that we get to live another round I was scared(pumpkin)
Colin, from the grave
fuck these hoes
QuilLynn
So.. I survived tribal! I'm super happy that we were able to get out Colin, as much as I love him as a person and would have wanted to work with him under different circumstances it was the only thing that made sense. Basically Bryce and I put ourselves in a position where we were the swing votes between Colin leaving and Nicholas leaving. Although there were benefits with both options, we knew that Colin would be harder to convince to also vote out Liana if we lose again, and we feel safer (for now) with Nicholas. At this point I feel great, I don't want to sound cocky, but I now just don't see either Bryce or I leaving before merge!
Dana
Hello Dads and lovers! I don't have too much to say about the game, except the tea is that i'm ready af to merge. The fastest way to kill me is to make me go to tribal on this tribe. Chips hates me, Jay O knows about my friend group premade, and Kelsey is inact af. Zach and I want to convince Kelsey to vote with us, but umm basically i'm going to pressure him into playing some advantage. I'm going to make him king of paranoia and tbh it won't be hard. Also i'm an actual slut for letter # like i crave it. So thanks hosts!
Trixie
hi my tribe is gonna lose this challenge xx
**Malam loses immunity**
Bryce
We got 2nd in immunity thats iconic. but im afraid ppl will see me as a threat but like.... I had to score since quillynn and liana did nothing and nicholas wasnt on much.Im just happy we won and are one step closer to merging where i can try to meet back up with bryan!
Bryan
So me and trixie fought our hardest but we still weren’t able to win. EMPHASIS ON ME AND TRIXIE AND NOT OUR ACTUAL FUCKING TRIBE! THESE BITCHES DIDNT DO JACK SHIT! I was talking to trixie about it, how we are fighting the hardest when we aren’t even the ones at risk and they don’t even care. But the votes are probably going to be heading towards Willa.
Zach
WE WON IMMUNITY! WIG! I expect Trixie to use her idol that I provided her... my impact. I shouldn;t have, and I kind of regret it but I don't. It's weird. I want merge to come pleASEeee
QuilLynn
One step closer to merge! My team of icons won immunity again! Although, to be honest I didn't really try or participate, because I would rather us go to tribal again. We have the numbers on our tribe to vote out Liana and I want to do that before we get to merge and she just acts as Chips' double vote advantage.
Trixie
My tribe loves going to tribal apparently! We’ve lost/come close to losing every single challenge that I’m praying to the furby gods for a mercy merge.
Being a villain, naturally I have satan on my side. Although I had described zachary rae as being an angel, he’s more akin to a devil because he’s left me a gift that I don’t know what to do with yet. I feel like I have Bryan and Christian down to vote Willa. Willa, on the other hand, thinks we’re going to vote Christian and is “willing” to go to rocks, which is a big fat lie imo. I feel like he’s going to try and flip the heroes on me, and I’m hoping they won’t listen. After all, I do a lot more for my tribe than he does.
I’m always worried something will happen, and I don’t wanna be that fool who plays the idol when unneeded, but I also don’t wanna be the bigger fool who goes out while holding one. help
Willa
I'm being voted off is this necessary
Chips
Alright, so the challenge was the one where you get letters and then you make words from them. In general, I'm pretty decent at it... but also I never have any time online for that sort of challenge so I saw if I could sit out... and I did. http://imgur.com/dYxDGuG.gif And then I wasn't added to the chat or whatever so I was kinda in the dark about our team's score (which is odd, because I believe that in the show when they sit out they are still at the challenge) but I was hoping that we could be successful and not have tribal. Then the results were posted and our team was number one! So no tribal! And the marshmallow tribe is going to tribal... https://68.media.tumblr.com/744c19eadd3d19f73b4dfece4e0ae798/tumblr_olvj861Lu01u2ragso1_500.gif On that tribe are Bryan, Christian, Trixie, and Willa! Bryan I'd like to stay because I think he's most likely to work with me in a situation where we are reunited. Christian is here and there, but would likely stick with me as well. Trixie is basically QuilLynn so if she were to go it wouldn't be bad for me. And I have no idea what a Willa is.
Bryce
I hope Bryan plays his idol
Christian
I don't know why Willa doesn't like me, when I've never spoken to him or even played a game with him. Unless he friends with someone in the community that hates me lolol. I lowkey feel like he has an idol, and I'm gonna get idoled out. But I guess we will see. If I do go tonight, I'm not mad about it. It is what it is. But once confessionals are released, Willa feel free to tell me why you have it out for me. Ctfu
Liana
I'm so glad we won because if we proved anything the last tribal, it's that this tribe is a mess.
Jay
I just got out of work ahhhhhhh!!!! Anyways im super happy my tribe pulled out a win because i did NOTHING in the last challenge. I've worked for the last 4 days so i was either at work or tired af during the challenge. Hopefully (!!!!) That changes and i can start pulling my weight.
**Willa is voted out, round 8 begins**
Bryan
Lol at Willa thinking we were going to rocks when in actuality he was going
Kelsey
The sitch is that once again; the foxy lady gets to stay~! I feel very grateful that I was able to stay out of tribal the last week. This streak of safety is sooooooo nice to rely on and now...we're heading into the top TWELVE of the competition! I can't say I ever saw myself making it to this stage of the game and gosh...merge can't be far away! At this point, I just want to break away from this sort of "tribe" game and I just want to get started on playing in the final traction of the competition! You know what? I DESERVE to make it to the end and, at the very least, I deserve to FIGHT for it. On this tribe, I do believe I've tightened my relationship with Dana as well as with Chips. And if I do have to vote someone off, I'm quite comfortable switching over with the villains to eliminate Jay as I trust him less than Zach. I just...I feel CONFIDENT! I feel so ready to keep going! I'm filled with excitement and I just wanna- I want to be in the heat of it again soon enough! I said this earlier, but they're going to have to rip and TEAR me away from the crown and I'm pumped to fight for it! Send home the next hooker already, I'm raring to go! And THAT'S all there is to it~! But who are you pointing at? -Kelsey V Mikaelson #TeamIBelieveInYall #TeamBEES #RIPColin #RIPWilla
Bryan
VL DR: YA BOY SLAYED THIS DAMN MAZE! "Hard AF maze" YEA RIGHT
**Malam loses immunity again**
Bryan
JKNFCDBEJLWBFCHJLBWEHJCLBHWJBC I GOT FIRST PLACE AND THEY BOTH GOT LAST!! THIS IS SOO DAMN FRUSTRATING!!! but i dont want to vote out Christian or trixie. Christian has been loyal to me. and trixie is so nice. i have my idol and i want to use it but i also dont. im afraid trixie might flip christian on me. and thats scary.
Zach
kisses we safe xx kay now i'm expecting trixie to idol, considering i think bryan/christian are friends. whom will she vote? idk?
later...
I kind of feel really good on my tribe. I do want merge though cause I think it may get more interesting. It's kind of bitter sweet because A) It's SUPER boring tribal wise rn, but that's because of B) my ass ain't going to tribal - and i wanna keep it like that!
QuilLynn
We won immunity (well second place but w/e we’re safe!) that means we’ve probably made it to merge which I’m super excited about! We still have Liana, but her joining up with chips might make her and more importantly chips easy targets. I like them both but see 0% chance of us working together in this game at this point so they’ll definetly be the first people that i’ll be wanting to take a shot at.
Bryan
Ok so. Christian thinks I’m voting trixie. And trixie thinks I’m voting Christian. Or there is this epic blindside coming. But I’m leaning more towards keeping trixie. I can def count on Christian to be a loyal goat but I know trixie has the skill to be able to make big moves with me.
Bryce
Um liana ditching last second was scary but we won so im happy. Malam keeps losing so its awk LOL. But im happy me and quil are safe with nicholas
Liana
Haha, Malam sucks. Enjoy tribal!
Christian
I'm pretty sure I'm gone tonight lol. There's not much to say, considering there's only three of us left on our tribe. Everything is just open I guess.
Bryan
VL DR: Trixie is such a troll. I was wondering why she never goes on video chat. But i know now. She is one of the trolls from that shitty animated movie so called trolls.
**Christian is voted out and round 9 begins!**
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