#and anyways she doesnt have to read my posts
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tried to ask my ex if she wanted her stuff back which was a horrible idea i shouldve just left it as it is. So i got to humiliate myself ONE more additional time n make her dislike me EVEN more, i hope i learn how to let go someday
#i wish id left it where it was#she asked me to stop making posts which is a big fucking ask considering she denied every ask i had that would make Me feel better#and this is my blog so she’ll just have to accept it i guess#i can love her and also feel like shit n complain abt things n vent my feelings#i dont mention her by name anywahs n nobody gaf#once i get my computer back ill keep busy til i can move on#and anyways she doesnt have to read my posts#we’re blocked now so she wont havw to see them#whatever. im insane and obsessive but i need to redirect that in a more productive way#and i can not wait to forget about all this and move on#i loathe how i messaaged her to ask her if she wants her stuff back#i just wanted an excuse to talk bc im a lonely freak#but ill move on#deep down i still wish maybe we’ll meet again sometime#but ill eventually get over that#i dont want her to think i hate her#cause i dont im just angry n sad n venting#oh well#i need to accept that it is what it is#and it dont matter how she feels abt me anymore#and ill eventually stop feelin for her#and i shouldnt hopelessly dream that maybe she’ll understand how i felt or whatever#like a romcom. expecting us to meet again n things will b nice#cause it wont happen n she really dont have any good will for me so#and YEA maybe i do want her to see my posts#rly bc i want her to understand how i feel#n know how much i think abt her#but for what?#she’ll just get mad n dislike me more#vent
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☆ even the gods bleed
{☆} characters furina, neuvillette {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, multi-chapter, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings blood, injury, light angst {☆} word count 2.3k
What was justice?
Focalors had asked herself that question many times during the long nights she spends awake pouring over the prophecy of a dead God, words replaying in her mind like a broken record until the sun rose like a blooming flower.
She was the God of Justice, an Archon, yet she herself lacked the answer to such a simple and yet so very complex question.
How does one define what is just and what is not? How does she know that what she believes to be just is right? Is it justice if one being alone may sway the scales of justice on a whim? What justice is there to be found in the cold, watery grave that awaits her nation?
She does not know.
Perhaps she may never know.
What she does know, at least, is that this is not justice.
It is a mockery of it.
She stands before the bloodied, broken body like the judge, her sword held so tightly in her hand her fingers feel stiff, a dull ache adding to the weight of what she's seen. For a long, horrible moment she almost thinks they are dead – something she would have reveled in, only a day prior – before she sees the subtle rise and fall of their chest. Breathing, but barely.
The rain felt heavier upon her shoulders at the realization – she was not sure if it was in relief or horror.
Her nails dig into her palm, mind stuck somewhere between that abject horror and confusion so palpable she swore she could hear the gears in her head turning.
For a long, silent moment as she stares upon the body beneath the heavy rain..she wonders if this is how it all ends instead. If the world itself will simply crumple in on itself and cease – without its heart, it will wither, after all – long before the waters ever swallow her nation whole.
Because, try as she might to rationalize it, for every drop of rain that hits her like pins and needles, soaking her down to the bone..the body of the imposter is completely dry. Even the water pooling along the stones dares not to leave so much as a splotch against their ragged, torn clothes.
She remembers the meeting so very clearly, and she thinks she is a fool to not have noticed sooner – the Creator upon their gilded throne, finger pointed in accusation at the visage far too similar to their own. The imposter. She remembers the lilt of their voice as they called for their death as easily as one would speak of the weather – and to no one other then herself would she admit the spark of fear it had ignited within her. Because beneath the divine charade there was a sick enjoyment in the way they looked upon the imposter – like a bug beneath their shoe.
She understands, now.
She had thought that perhaps finally – finally – she could do right by her people, by her Creator, if she rid Teyvat of this..intrusion.
Now she sees herself as what it all really is – blind lambs following the herder.
Perhaps she would be considered a heretic under the eyes of the law – beneath the weight of justice, heavy as the heart that bears its sins. Perhaps this is a mistake, one she would come to regret.
But for now, she sheathes her blade with unsteady hands, the sound making her ears ring – for what she had almost done, what she had already done – as she stumbles like a newborn lamb towards the broken body of..
..What, exactly? Human? Divine? She is not so sure what to call them. Creator? No. The name is bitter upon her tongue, now, burning like liquid flame down her throat.
Where once she had spoken it in reverence and admiration, it felt hollow and empty, now.
Her vision wavers as she kneels down against the rain soaked stones, the rain upon her back growing heavier as she reaches a shaky hand forth – and for a moment, however brief, she feels the weight of expectation, of a title she fears she may never live up to, wash away with the waters that fall from the heavens.
The bruises and blood smeared across their skin are like strokes of a paintbrush, their body the canvas from which such horrid art is created. It makes her ill.
Doubt wavers her composure briefly – her position is already unsteady. She has never been seen as an equal to many of the other Archons. Her own people do not see her as their Archon, but an actor in a grand play that they shall simply toss aside and replace like a broken doll the moment she bores them.
What does she have left to lose?
She reaches out again, her hand settling onto their shoulder and turning them onto their back. She..isn't sure what to do, actually. She's never been particularly physically capable – she tended to avoid fights, even if she oft provoked them – and she was certainly no healer.
Yet what choice does she have but to march on anyway? She is in the heart of the city, it is far more dangerous here then anywhere else..she had little time to make her move.
Fontaine was, after all, a nation founded on the principle of justice. To know an injustice has been made against the most Divine..the entire nation was in a frenzy.
Her eyes dart around nervously, hands clasped tight on their shoulders and her lips drawn into a taut line – someone would notice her absence. One of the Archons would point out her absence in the coordination of the search.
Her options were just as limited as her time – she couldn't just take them out of the city. Security was tight, and as much as she fancied herself an escape artist – Neuvillette could hardly keep her in one place for too long – she doubted she could do the same with the limp body of the imposter in tow.
..The Palais Mermonia it was, then.
Her room had a secret entrance that few knew about, and even fewer would dare to traverse. She just..had to hide them there for a bit and hope Neuvillette wouldn't notice anything different.
Probably.
Still, there was the problem of actually..transporting the body. As grim as it sounded. Her only solace was the fact she didn't have to worry about them catching a cold, at least, and their breaths were still audible, if only barely. So she had to resort to some..unexpected methods.
Seeing the limp form of, well, the imposter – she'd really have to ask for something else to call them when they woke up – stuck in a bubble of hydro wasn't exactly on her bucket list.
Then again, neither was treason.
Well, first time for everything, right?
It wasn't breaking the law if no one else knew about it.
..Neuvillette didn't have to know about it, really. It was fine.
She could, of course, technically try to talk some sense into Neuvillette – he'd listen to her, right? She thought she was pretty close with him..but he was also the one person more obsessed with justice then she was. Such a stickler for the law..so maybe she's breaking a few, it's fine.
But he was also pretty devout, as much as he tried to keep his worship private – with Focalors around, nothing was really secret. Maybe she could get him to settle down long enough to prove it.
..How was she going to prove it?
An exaggerated groan escaped her lips as she led the bubbled imposter – she really wished she didn't have to resort to that, it would be a lot a more awkward to explain then dragging the body around – through the winding streets of Fontaine. She's just glad she's already memorized the entire city like the back of her hand..and a little dramatics went a long way. People listened when the Hydro Archon spoke, and she was suddenly very, very glad for that fact, even if they treated her more like a mascot then a God.
And partially because she, maybe, just a little..stole a few documents detailing the layout and a little personal exploration of her own – but what Neuvillette didn't know couldn't hurt him!
After what felt like hours, though was really no more then half an hour at best, she'd managed to drag herself – soaked to the bone with rain – and the conveniently bubbled imposter up through the secret entrance and into her room.
The perceived safety, as flimsy as it was, was..comforting. Until she heard the rustle of fabric, the clearing of a throat and the pop of a bubble as she, in her surprise, popped it – and then the thud of the imposter hitting the floor.
She felt a bit of regret about that part, at least, wincing.
"Lady Furina." His voice was as sharp and cool as she remembered it always being – like fresh spring water, she'd heard it described. Soothing. It did not feeling very soothing right about now.
She turned sharply on her heel, a forced smile tugging at her lips on reflex, every muscle in her body tensed – she probably looked like a wet cat right about now, soaked with rain, but that was the last thing on her mind.
"Do you mind explaining what, exactly, you did?" Not what you're doing, she notes – what she did. He was mad. Oh, she was really in for a scolding now. She twiddled her thumbs, laughing weakly, though it quickly dies out at the awkward, tense silence.
"Well, you see – it's rather complicated! I can– I can explain." Her attempts to diffuse are met with a raised brow and the sharp tap of his cane. Every single thought is plagued with the urge to run, but the unsteady breathes of the 'imposter' keep her rooted in place. "Well?"
She was sweating bullets, her nails digging into her palm as she scrambled for any excuse that could warrant her not getting hauled off and scolded thoroughly at best – she was coming up empty. How was she supposed to prove that the 'imposter' was very much not what the 'Creator' said they were? Their unconscious body was doing no one any favors, certainly.
"The Creator is lying," She blurts out, immediately regretting her impulsiveness when she feels the sudden weight of his stare – the piercing hues of his eyes that remind her just who is the strongest between them. It is not her, she knows. It never has been. "You can see for yourself! Don't you trust me, Neuvillette–?"
Her voice is cut off by the sharp click of his cane as he strides across the room in only a few steps, his height making her feel like a child about to scolded. She hated it, but she grit her teeth through the exchange. She reminded herself that this was for the sake of the 'imposter' and any affront to her ego was..tolerable.
To her credit, too, she didn't immediately lash out when she saw him poke at their body with his cane, turning them onto their back – she wanted too, though. She considered it, but the thought was quickly shot down when his stare turned back upon her, and she felt frozen in place again, her tongue a heavy weight in her mouth.
Yet she couldn't shake the sudden tenseness to his shoulders, his brows furrowed and a distant look to his eyes. It was..haunting, in a way.
She knows it well, she realizes. The realization and acceptance, the crumbling of every solid foundation you've ever known – leaving you to flounder in the waves, alone and afraid.
The gentleness in which he picks up the limp body surprises her though, his cane set aside. The rain howls like a horrid storm outside, but she cannot focus on anything but the furrow of their brows, the soft noise that escapes their lips.
"I trust that you know that this must stay between us," His voice is soft, like the gentle lap of waves against the shore, as he sets their body down against the bed, his hand lingering against their cheek with something almost like reverence – and if her eyes do not deceive her, affection. "Lady Furina."
She does not hesitate to agree.
"Well– well of course!" She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning at the feeling of her wet clothes clinging to her skin, a heavy weight that feels like it's dragging her down. "Just what do you take me for?"
He doesn't deign to respond.
It only makes her fume more.
Not that he seems to notice, unbuttoning his heavy outerwear and tossing it on the bed, rolling up his sleeves and focusing on the injured– er..yeah, she really needed a new name for them. Calling them imposter felt wrong.
"So long as you understand, then we will have no problems." She huffs again, pouting and puffing up her cheeks, sitting down on the other end of the bed with only an occasional glance towards him as he worked at peeling away the ragged clothes and examining the injuries marring their skin.
She suddenly felt out of place.
..What was she supposed to be doing?
As if noticing her sudden quietness, Neuvillette sighed, his back turned to her though his attention very much falling upon her. She really hated the feeling like she was being dissected whenever he looked at her. It was unnerving. She doesn't know how anyone else handles it..
"If you are so eager to do something, Lady Furina, then please have something brought up for when our..guest awakens. They will need to recover their strength."
Finally! Something she can do. She perks up, her heels clicking on the floorboards as she darts out like a bullet, unable to stay still for so much as a moment.
Neuvillette, for his part..
Feels an odd sense of serenity as he stares upon the troubled features of the..guest. A peace that lessens the burdens upon his shoulders, the weight of a nation upon his back.
He cannot hear the rain, anymore.
..It must have stopped.
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#fic tag#imposter au#focalors#furina#neuvillete#a family can be a dragon an archon and his 300 other children who reverse adopted him#u date him its a package deal sorry#u now have like 300 children g-dspeed#also tagged spoilers on neuvi's part bc its kinda a spoiler??? sort of#also this can be read as platonic or romantic on neuvi's part#can u tell i like focalors btw :)#also gonna be swapping between focalors/furina bc SOMEONE sent me a theory and it sent me spiraling im gonna be ill#u know who u r and ur days r numbered#can be read as romantic between reader & neuvi but only bc i know focalors rubs it in his face she found the actual creator first#anyway can u tell focalors is my fav pt2 i wont shut up abt her its terminal atp#focalors..................#anyway *doesnt post fr months. randomly drops a 2k word fic. leaves and doesnt elaborate*#starts out v serious ends v silly#wrote this in one sitting im gonna go pass out now gn
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June 14th, 2025 - Chapter 181's 5th Anniversary
(celebrating with one Emma + one quote from almost every chapter)
#the promised neverland#tpn manga#tpn emma#emma#my edits#*kicks door open* surprise kiddos! bet ya thought you'd seen the last of me! but here i am tossing out long as hell tpn posts#like i never left babyyy~ well.. cant say ill ever leave but feels like it's been a hot minute since ive done anything grand for#this fandom. apologies. but what better way to show my love than making y'all scroll a whole bunch down memory lane yeah?#truly nothing out of the ordinary from me. anyways..got the idea after posting my recent edit with ryuu that uses the same one#panel/one quote per chapter format. things just had to be real small to fit the whole story. wasnt gonna let this site's dumb#30 image limit stop me either. (such a stupid change btw. thank god i did those old bday praise posts back when i did.)#originally debated on just choosing any quote & character for this but ultimately just decided on our best girl. yea she's#totally missing for a few chs but not many. while a handful she just appears in flashbacks or just doesnt say anything at all..#so have fun decoding the morse i added in for those if you wanna. they're all different. ex: ch179 says 'fuck' because..#you know :) it's me. & heartbreaking stuff was happening. most chs were easy picks like if i had a favorite or when she..#just didnt say much at all during some conversations & i really had no other choices.. but yup. i still love her. & this whole#fandom. i promise. got a bit emotional reading through the story again while doing this but the nostalgia hits super hard.#i hope everyone has been doing well! it warms my heart whenever i see new stuff. this series deserves much love. always.
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i love laslow and nyx’s supports and i love how they go from trauma dump central in the b support




to making fun of their angst in the a


like theyre soooo lame and it makes me emo and every time i watch this support i kick my feet and twirl my hair theyre SOOOOOOO SICKENING. WHO WROTE THIS. WHOOOOOOO
#ann plays fates#THIS IS MY LAST GAMEPLAY (‘gameplay’ im reading supports and nothing else) POST OF THE NIGHT I SWEAR#IM DONE#i just have a lot of meaningless thoughts im having a lot of fun#i forgot how much i love these characters its been so long#but yeah i feel like i post about this convo a lot but its always just a different part of it#but its not my fault the whole thing is SO good#i love them so much… definition of comfort hets#even if theyre both definitely bisexual#las also has like aspec stuff going on as well but thats neither here nor there#theyre just sooooo…#im so into the ‘seeing the worst in yourself but the best in the other person’ thing#and they do it so well#bc its like u see their angst and where it comes from and it really is all so unfathomable#and with laslow like obviously the other two could feel the same but hes very much the most introspective of the three#and ive talked about it before but his relationship with death is very different than the other two#and so i think for him to get wrapped up in his own self loathing with this is so much fun#AND ALSO THE FACT THAT THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE YOU FIGURE OUT HE BLAMES HIMSELF FOR LEAVING THE BAD TIMELINE?!#HE DOESNT TALK ABOUT IT ANYWHERE ELSE (to my knowledge?!)#and then with nyx i feel like a lot of her supports are about her helping others#which makes sense! she wants to repent and this is how shes doing it#but i think for laslow to come along and tell her there is someone like her out there (him!!) can help her come out of her isolation a bit#and its j really sweet#I LOVE THEMM I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME#also i LOVE two of the saddest people in the army coming together and making the happiest cutest daughter ever#two characters so moon and stars adjacent having a sunny baby… STOPPPPP#another episode of ann making up shit thats not even close to canon#i feel like ppl often say ‘laslow is fates’ best character’ ‘nyx is so well written!’#and yet no one ever reads their convo together which is a shame bc even if its j platonic i think its a really important one for both#anyways tag limit. i only reach it when talking about them…
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sometimes, i think about how ☝︎this rando☝︎ from the [redacted] anime inspired me to tl idol sengen out of spite for her butchered characterisation
#thank you [redacted] anime skinwalker mona for your disservice#it’s been yearsssssssssss since the [redacted] anime and i still can’t let go of my genuine irritation m a n.#sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and remember [redacted] anime hiyori going ‘thank goodness it wasn’t *real* trauma :)’#wrt aizo’s backstory (as told by ken)#and how she p much went ‘you’re so cute. no wonder why that guy tried to [assault] you. meanwhile im so plain :( poor me :((’ to ‘‘mona’’#after saving her from a creep#i s w e a r everyone in gen retcon (except for juri and. like. koichiro** and the longleg**) was done soooooo dirty by the [redacted] anime#**the shortleg and the longleg were somehow somewhat nice(??????) in the [redacted] anime that it’s in equal parts hilarious and unnerving#i think the [redacted] anime would’ve been better if it had. like. kept hina’s initial saltiness towards hiyori (from the daikirai novel)#bc that *sure* was some light drama** that would’ve added some much needed depth to [redacted] anime hiyori’s characterisation#**said drama kind of involved hiyori seeming to pick up on hina’s dislike for her and trying to speak more formally*** around her and stuff#***e.g. of her trying to speak more formally: she tried to use ‘watashi’ instead of ‘uchi’ (and even corrected herself) when talking to hina#both hina and hiyori were such sopping wet creatures in the novels#that it’s genuinely a pity that they were portrayed as nice helpful senpai + airheaded kouhai in need of guidance in the [redacted] anime#anyways!!!!!!! back to mona#i really. *really* didn’t want the [redacted] anime’s portrayal of her to be *the* image of her in everyone’s minds so. yeah.#hence the idol sengen tl misadventure. that’s the main reason for it. really~~~~#the side reason was asuna. no. seriously. that ‘well duhhhhh’ face in vol 2’s post-asumona concert really sold me on her women’s wrongs lol#oooofffff i should really get ‘round to re-typesetting the vol 1 and 2 chapters some time soon… but i ✨lazy✨#p l e a s e don’t say anything about how bad the early chapters are~~~~ i ✨k n o w✨ i revisited them to check something or othee#and left cringing and wanting to cry out of shame. ahhhhhhhh they’re t e r r i b l e#though i’ve been having dreams of revisiting my tls and realising that i. like. left entire speech bubbles empty#w h y am i dreaming of tling man. i’m d o n e with it frrrrrrrrr im freeeeeeee (and manifesting s2 with all my heart s o b s)#anyways. lols. sorry for clogging the dash~~~~ im exhausted and when im exhausted i have the *neeeeeed* to ✨yap away✨—#in any case [redacted] anime skinwalker mona doesnt count as mona to me lmaoooooo#mv mona? yes mona. novella mona? yes mona. idolsengen manga mona? yes mona. honeypre (rip) mona? yes mona. [redacted] anime mona? n o t mon#anyway to the anyway!!!!!!! if you’ve read this far p l e a s e remember to support the official release~~~~~~~#and let’s all hold hands and ✨manifest✨ idolsengen s2 together~~~~~~~ mitsuki focus arc p l s—
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Being an older sibling is the hardest thing anyone can do
#my post#god i just want him to know im proud of him and i love him and i want him to be happy#had a really long discussion w my mom and yeah it involved a lot pf her venting#but its important for her and she needs a sympathetic ear#and my dad is the same but he has a differenf understanding and approach#so i domt really talk with him about it#but i worry about him so much#i wish we could get back the yeara covid took from us#he was just a kid when everything changed and got so overwhelming#and we were doing our best but he definitely fell through thw cracks#which is insane#and doesnt mean we arent blameless#but these situations are so much more complicated than can even be described in person or aloud#that trying to get it all down here will never encompass all of that#anyway i wish i could go back in time and do 2020-2022 differently in regards to him#and tell my parents#its never too late for it though and i will never give up on him ever#diary#ok guys really sorry its past 10 pm for me and im 5 days deep into a fast paced europe trip#we have a week and a half left and i want to go fucking home!!!!!#god#and see i still cant imagine how it all feels for my brother#if its this bad for me what is it like for him???#waahhhh#sorry fr now im gonna stop i dont think anyone has read this far but i know some ppl have#bc i be in peoples tags and their vents and life updates rubbing my hands together like hmmmm whats all this??
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Fic idea: Yoko suspecting some kind of connection between Wednesday Addams and Goro Akechi and trying to fish it out of her, and in the process of attempting to hide this knowledge accidentally makes herself look like the biggest weeb in existence
#goro Akechi addams#⬅️⬅️if i do any persona/Addams family random posts thatll be thr future tag#but yeah like they try to torture the info out of her#and its Wednesday. she expects torture. probably lives for it#so Wednesday is prepped to criticize their practices#and instead bianca plays fucking risette#which Wednesday recognizes and tries playing it off#nevermind she knows this is risette and knows what risette song and cannot risk being wrong good enough to lie#but it does work well enough and now everyone at nevermore is wondering#why she seems to care so much about japanese pop culture#(she doesnt: but she lives w a former idol as a brother#and his bf has connections to swaths of Tokyo's celebrities)#meanwhile yoko specifically is going crazy bc there is no reason for this random disconnected goth girl to be this tuned in#to like. fucking risette and the phantom thieves and alice hiiragi#and featherman like why does Wednesday 'reading tolstoy for fun' addams have RedBlack opinions#(having opinions and thoughts on shido and the Neofuture party is on point tho no questions there)#anyway dont mind me i just had a funny thought but my laptop is getting surgery#so i cant write it down in full😔
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i stand by that the thing that makes jamie and santis relationship weird is the bizarre secrecy. like they just dont talk about shit and thats what makes it weird
#like i have a best friend of 12 years. if she accidentally slammed a door on my head we would be able to talk it out#theres so much shit they just like DONT tell each other#either bc on jamies end he doesnt see the need to bc he assumes (?) permission or consent bc theyre SO close#or on santis end out of anxiety and fear to genuinely assert himself. as we've discussed before likely bc of his weird fear of being alone.#i think. again santi has such a bizarre warped POV of everything but ESPECIALLY of jamie#he thinks so highly of him he thinks everyone loves him hes the life of the party everyone wants to talk to him girls love him guys love him#someone HAS to have seen him. if they say they havent theyre just lying. if they say jamies not all that then theyre liars#theres like this deification mixed with WEIRD fucking. envy? rage? that he just doesnt express.#so i dont think jamie even fucking KNOWS santi thinks hes that cool which is so funny to me its so fucking funnyyyyy#but its like. jamie REALLY likes santi he thinks hes bomb af and isnt shy about it but that doesn't mean he's not weirdly secretive about#weird shit either like its bizarre. theyre both CRAZY THEYRE BOTH BIZARRE#like and as muchas jamie LIKES santi maybe even platonically loves him#he cannot READ his emotions/feelings to save his fucking life oh my god. which helps nothing#i think it hit me on my 40th or 50th reread that like. jamie doesnt get that santi is ALREADY upset when theyre at the door at the party.#he thinks santiagos just. anxious. which is totally fair!! bc he usually is!!!! THATS why he's reassuring and saying oh theyre gonna love u!#he doesnt GET that santis ACTUALLY upset. and he knows that santiago usually appreciates when he pushes him out of his comfort zone#its like. an ESTABLISHED pattern in their friendship atp. like oh my goddddd#i wanna see them kill each other with knives anyway end post#mari.txt
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Life update, I was diagnosed with autism.
Actually, I was first diagnosed months ago by my regular psychiatrist, but I didn't believe her so I went and paid for a full autism assesment with the intention of ruling it out but well.
Now I have to think about whether this cancels out any of the PD diagnosis I got in the past. Some would immediately jump to this conclusion - but for me it's not so clear. Since psychiatric diagnosis are behavioural, if I fit both, don't I... have both? It's all made up. And I still identify/align more with the PDs than the autism honestly.
I am not sure. I still have one visit of the diagnostic process left where I can ask questions, so will ask about it.
#sigh i really thought it would be ruled out you know#since my psych just. she initially read me as having BPD which couldnt be less true sooo i didnt trust her#i really dont identify with the autistic experience tbh#doesnt help that i dont remember my childhood almost at all#still you know what#this doesnt feel as significant as the depression#as per my last post the depression is the truly worst and disabling bitch of them all#i made my life work with my brain anyways#apart from the episodes i cannot with them#schcomtalk#autism
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riverdale finale HUGE win for archiecomic scholars presumably huge loss for riverdale fans I don't know. I don't care
#when you stop trying to understand CW riverdale as a tv show with plots and characters. and you start understanding it as#a vehicle for a 7 season metatextual struggle between cw riverdale and the archie comics ip.#that's when you'll come to know peace#first they tried to be a normal bad show but devolved into cartoonish antics#which is one thing but then the timeskip hit which is like ohhhhh no thats not something that you can successfully do with archie character#so the shows ostensible realism started falling apart worse and worse with superpowers and sabrina and rivervale until a WIZARD summoned a#COMET to literally destroy this version of the town because archie cant be about adults with marriages and children lmfao get good#and it reset the town to the 1950s. FOREVER. she cant send you back to 2023!#btw life with archie isnt a counterexample it supports my point they tried to age up the characters in the comics and it almost destroyed t#e multiverse and archie fucking died at the end#anyways the finale episode is everything. the characters grow up and die offscreen because thats not what archiecomics is about!#archies non betty non veronica wife doesnt even get a name shes a 1 sentence concept#none of that matters all that matters is they all died and went to purgatory and purgatory was an idyllic 17 year old high school life that#never ends#get it because. theyre not characters theyre concepts. tied to archie comics. and archie comics is purgatory that these concepts cant escap#to understand riverdales finale you have to read archie vs predator 2 okay? okay.#CW riverdale fans read archie vs predator 2. understand archie vs predator 2. then we'll talk#nothing thats ever happened in any archie property is canon but also all of it is its literally fine#except archie and reggie having sex this season. thats canon#post
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So tired of continuesly feeling this way I keep trying and failing time and time and time again
#i dont want to feel a profound sadness anytime anyone (especially someone i know) expresses being grateful about their group of friends#i dont want to feel this way every time i find out about them being at a social gathering or whatever together#i feel so awful so so awfully patheticly lonely i feel so stupid and i feel so horrible when admitting it#and i fall into deep worry about my situation never changing bc everyone i know has a network of friends from childhood or school#and pretty much no one from my childhood or school stayed in my life i feel so scared of my future how will i live a life this way#anytime i come across a post talking about long time friends i cannot stomach reading it#it's all so debilitating and i dont know how much longer i can keep on ranting like this#i moved countries i hoped things would change i approached people i talked i asked to hang out three years later i'm left with two#(used to be three but she seems to not care about me at all) seperate friends i'm so grateful for both#but it doesnt work out. it doesnt work this way. i cannot socialize with them since theyre not muslim n we have very different life styles#so i tried finding muslim friends i got associated with the muslim students association went to gatherings joined the book club#i met very lovely girls but nothing more came out of it#i remember the first time i took part in something it was two years ago i talked with a group#it was a group who already were friends and one girl who also had just met them#a year later i find out theyve all become friends and hang out. vallahi i dont know what it is i'm doing wrong i'm so tired and so desperate#it kills me. it's so scary to not have a social network not have friends to lean on to call when youre in need it's so isolating#i've lived my teen years this way i'm continuing to live my 20s this way and cant stop but think it has to do with me#anyways enough of that now bye#nesi rants
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I now have a policy about not interacting with discourse if I wouldn't be able to explain it to my dear friend who owns a flip phone. if I try to explain it to her and she just replies with "that's dumb, why are people fighting about this?" then I know it's not worth arguing about online
#badger rants#this post is slightly a sham aas she got her first iphone last week because a friend gave it to her#but she doesnt have data on it and only uses it to take nice pictures of her cat (eddie)#but up until now shes had a flip phone#anyways its the whole touch grass thing. like if nobody in real life would understand or care#then why waste my brain cells reading yoour stupid discourse#context: i spent an hour explaining the trans infighting on this website to her son today and decided#that none of this actually matters. you may think it dooes. but it doesnt. any post engaging with trans infighting i no longer care about
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ohoho you know who i’m thinking inspired far more of tav than i realized. vivienne de fer. a leash CAN be tugged from both ends
#that quote is soooo. like vivienne’s relationship to the circle is FASCINATING but also rn i’m on bg3 so tav and her relationship with her#evil awful god that she doesnt trust but that hasnt tried to tame her yet LIKE THST BOOK ABOUT TEMPESTS IN THE HOUSE OF HOPE WJICH!#REWROTE MY BRAIN. RAPHAEL IM SURE YOU ALWAYS HAVE THAT BUT MY TEMPEST CLERIC SURE IS READING INTO IT#my life rn#i need to go to bed. anyway expect more posts soon
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edelstans assuming her critics have never actually played CF is hilarious to me
cus like yeah sure, it applies to me. ive never actually been able to play through the whole thing (tho i have read all of the datamined dialogue... multiple times,,,) but i have a friend who hates her wayyyyy more than me and CF was not just her first three houses route, it was the first experience of fire emblem she ever had :'D
#whether or not weve specifically played CF is irrelevant if we're talking about her actions in the other routes anyway#they characterise her completely differently in CF anyway - and that was intentional cus shes not supposed to be as cold in CF#cus her obsession with you is keeping her warm or whatever#kath shouts into the void#ive learnt my lesson and have just started playing the pronoun game#sorry to anyone whos sick of reading posts about discourse for a 5yo fe game#said friend has been reading and linking me to many a discourse post lately#doesnt help that im still working on my fankid sequel plotline and i keep asking my fe friends for characterisation advice#(we do have a friend who is neutral on her and love h-bert so dw im not consulting an echo chamber lol)#(plus like i mean im 30 and know how to read & write complex characters tyvm - its just fun to be a hater sometimes)
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