#and blah blah blah sniper spy blah blah blah

[maxsawboy]

some of us r sane and the rest of us spend 5 hours drawing their tf2 ocs

i was gonna do more but um. no. not right now. another day mayhaps.

anyways i finally finished vampire medic and i also designed scene scout which was an idea i never talked about but ive had in mind for a bit xD yeah i hope u enjoy :)

[weevmo]

Get Booped Idiots (lovingly) - with some Team Fortress 2 arts!

My Main Fellas Scout n' Solly + some doodles as I work to figure out how to draw these dudes simply.

[flames-unicorns-and-sentryguns]

What the Blu team was doing after MvM and during the main comics

Blu engineer: went on Vacation with his family after a good long while. In the timeline where the administrator tried to reach out to him instead/ Pauling tried to get the Blu team instead of the red team, he's Conveniently on vacation/ dodges them.

Blu solider and pyro: the two end up finding somewhere to settle down. Buy a nice house together. Occasionally they go out and do jobs. They're trying to figure out what their ideal lives would be like if they didn't have to worry about money anymore.

Blu spy: hangs around Blu scouts ma and visiting his nephews/ grand nephews. Taking time off to be some sort of guidance to Blu Scout who has his whole life ahead of him.

Blu scout is rich enough to Not need to work but he still wants to do something. Might be studying to get into college/ community college if it's a thing in 1972.

Blu Demoman is working in something construction related that actually uses his demolition skills thanks to Blu Engineer shooting him off towards his cousin the Architect/ red Engies brother. Feels better that he's not doing something life and death related. Keeps in contact with Blu engineer regularly.

Blu Heavy: he's Around doing more work/ went back home to help tend to his parents health. He offers to pay for his second brother to go back to school now that he has more than enough money.

Blu medic went back home and I think Blu sniper might be staying with him depending on if I gave him the wife from that one demo line that might exist about shagging his wife.

They're taking joint custody of the cat.

Otherwise Blu sniper is taking a trip around Europe and just staying with Blu Medic for a bit.

[faecaribou]

guys im so lazy if i give y'all my scout mermaid au WIP will someone else take it off my hands and run with it pleaseeeee

MERMAID SCOUT PIRATE AU

Solider: Somebody tell the most outrageous thing that ever happened to you. Spy: heh i fucked a mermaid once. The crew: Dude no one believes you Sniper: YOOOO LOOK WHAT I FOUND Spy: Wow its a merman with hair color unusual for mermaids. He kinda looks like he has my jaw line. And…my ears. And… Merman Scout, waking up from unconsciousness: hngnnf? Spy: AND MY EYES?  Spy: Spy: OH NO. The crew: The crew: Wait Spy why does this merman kinda look like you Scout, rolling his eyes: You mean I look like a human and thats because my father was a human. A pirate even. But I never got to meet the guy. The crew: …. The crew: So do you wanna be part of the crew. Promise Medic won’t kill you Medic: But with this new knowledge I would bring you back to life after!

my actual attempt at writing this:

To say that the RED crew was the most fearsome pirate crew on all the seven seas would certainly be a stretch, but if you asked anyone who actually had met the crew and survived they might say that they were the mightiest pirate crew. None of the RED crew had any great stories about them, their backstories as simple as being a doctor and a military man, and some whose pasts were too mysterious to know. No, they weren’t the most fearsome, but they were strong and always quick to land on their feet.

Of course, you had to be human to know of the RED crew.

“There’s a storm brewing in the distance,” Heavy noted.

“We’ll make it to shore before it hits, Heavy,” Medic replied. “Let’s just batten down all the hatches and if Heavy would please alert the Engineer to make sure none of his tools are rolling around, that would be good, ja?”

“Yes Doktor,” Heavy replied.

Another crewmate was watching the clouds gather in the distance.

(Blah blah setting the scene)

Sniper went to take a walk on the shore the next morning, very early. The sun was peaking over the watery horizon, but the sky was cloudy enough that it cast only a gentle glow on the sands, illuminating the strange lump on the shore without giving enough detail.

“Huh,” Sniper furrowed his brow, and approached.

At first, it seemed to be a fishing net, presumably caught on something if the tides hadn’t taken it back. The storm likely washed all sorts of stuff up, but nothing as big as this.

As Sniper drew closer, he froze. His breath caught in his throat as he spotted the glimmer of colorful scales. His mind drew up stories of old, stories that as a child he had so desperately wanted to believe in, then as a teen he had given up on. Since sailing the seas he hadn’t really started believing again, but there was no doubt that there were things out in the water that just didn’t make sense.

He stared down at the limp, unmoving mermaid, and said aloud, “Well, shit.”

The mermaid twitched at the sound but didn’t rouse. When Sniper pulled the net mostly to the side to get a better look, he saw red smeared across the sand. It bled red then. Like a human. He approached the mermaid, which was laying on its stomach, and flipped it over carefully. He grabbed it by it’s human half, and wasn’t sure if he was surprised that it was cooler to the touch than he expected.

 The mermaid- or merman, Sniper mentally corrected himself as he kept looking, seemed to be bleeding from the head, which would explain why it didn’t wake when Sniper touched it.

“Must’ve hit its head on the rocks,” He muttered nervously to himself.

It had red scales too, red as the flag their pirate ship so proudly waved, though the scales were shimmering slightly where the wet rope had been and turning dull where the air was drying them. It- he? had a tail a fair bit longer than a pair of legs would be, and short light brown hair. 

Sniper stood over it for a while, dithering, mind exploding in confusion, before the sun peeked through the clouds and caught his eye. He grimaced. People were going to be waking up soon, and he couldn’t imagine it would spell out well for the merman.

He was pretty sure that mermaids killed pirates, and that pirates killed mermaids too. Humans always seemed to want to kill what they didn’t understand. But when Sniper stared down at the merman, it looked quite young. Not a child, but certainly not an adult.

He sighed and scooped it up in his arms, fishing net and all, not daring to touch the fishy half of the strange creature. It’s tail flopped loosely and awkwardly, but Sniper managed. He turned back toward the ship, visible in the distance. The spin causes the merman’s head to loll, burying its face into Sniper’s shirt. He pauses, looking down at it hesitantly, before starting his journey back to the ship.

Sniper wasn’t trying to keep it a secret from his crew, but he didn’t want to make a lot of noise about it either. But the moment he boarded the ship Demo, lounging on the deck, glanced over.

“Morni- HOLY SHIT!” Demo barked, and his voice exploded with volume. “HOLY FUCK GUYS, GET OVER HERE, SNIPER’S GOT A-”

“Shh!” Sniper hissed, lurching forward toward the man to shut him up. “We don’t want the whole town knowing!”

“Knowing what?” Drawled a voice, as Spy exited his quarters. “Qu’est-ce que vous-” The masked man caught sight of what Sniper was holding, and his face went pale.

“Bring it below deck, quickly!” He hissed. “Allez, allez!” He ushered Sniper out of sight, Demo hot on Spy’s heels, as Medic poked his head out of the forecastle quarters.

“Vhat is all ze fuss about, hmm?” He asked, but the only answer he got was a series of shushes as the men hurried below deck. Medic sighed.

“Come along Heavy, it seems our friends have gotten into new types of trouble, ja?”

“WHATS THAT?” Soldier barked as everyone scrambled below decks. Pyro sat up from his hammock, mask facing the group that entered.

“Quiet, man!” Engineer leaned forward, pulling his goggles off. “My god, is that a…?”

“A mermaid,” Medic leaned forward, light glinting off his glasses from between the wooden planks above. “How fascinating. My experiments-”

“You’re not experimenting on it,” Sniper pulled the limp body closer to himself, and the merman let out a quiet little noise. He glanced down at it, making sure it was still unconscious, before looking back up at the rest of his crew. They were silent, standing in a circle, watching him hold the merman.

“It’s just a young thing,” Sniper said, unsure of how to voice how he feels. “It’s all hurt, must’ve been tossed ashore by the storm.”

“Being out of the water probably is not helping the merman.” Spy murmured, and Sniper glanced at him. “THE WHAT?” Soldier asked, only to be hushed again.

“What do you mean by that?” Demanded Sniper, and the Frenchman crossed his arms.

“They are like fish, they should not be dried out.” he stepped closer to Sniper and reached out, tapping one of the dull scales on the tail that Sniper had been too nervous to touch with a quiet knowledgeable confidence that left Sniper surprised. “A healthy mermaid’s scales would be shiny and brighter than this.”

“How do you know all that?” Demo asked, and Spy stepped back.

“You see some things, after traveling for so long.”

“See things, ja, not know such things.” Medic’s gaze locked onto the masked man. “I am curious to know what other things you know about mermaids and how you know them.”

Engineer stepped forward. “Everyone here is entitled to their secrets,” he said, but he didn’t sound all that pleased. “What really matters is, what are we gonna do with it?”

“What do you mean?” Sniper asked, grip tightening on the merman again.

“I would love to have it for my experiments,” Medic muttered, and Sniper scowled at him.

“WE SHOULD KILL IT!” Solder loudly declared, and Sniper took a step back.

Spy pulled out a cigarette, then paused and glanced at the merman and put it back.

“It’s just a little one,” Sniper pleaded. “It couldn’t possibly hurt us.”

“It is pretty cool to see one in person,” Demo agreed. “Why, Sniper is right, its just a little lad! If it tried hurting any of us, we’d easily overpower it.”

“MMPH!” Pyro mumbled enthusiastically.

“It is like a tiny baby,” Heavy said aloud, then with a glance at Medic, added, “Doktor should get to take a look at it.”

Sniper hissed at him while Spy lowered his head into his hands.

Engineer stepped forward. “Son, we can all agree that mermaids are supposed to be violent and dangerous. If it turns out to be that way, can we give it to Medic? And if it turns out that it really is just a young thing and can’t hurt us, well.” He glanced down at the unconscious creature. “Medic would still have to take a look at it, because it’s bleeding.”

“Ooh!” Medic leaned forward. “It’s blood is red, like a human. Very interesting.” He pulls out a scratchpad and a pen and scribbles something down.

“IT BLEEDS RED? THEN BY GOD HELP THE MAN!” Solider stepped forward and grabs the merman out of Sniper’s hand, the Australian squawking in dismay as the American pushes him away. He lays the merman down and pulls out a knife. Spy startled, fumbling with his cigarettes as Engineer took an aborted step forward in alarm.

“Now hold on!” Demo protested, but Soldier only cuts the net off of the merman and sheathes the knife. He grabs the remains of the net and takes it away, leaving the merman out on the floor where everyone can catch a better glimpse of it. Spy makes a strange, strangled noise that catches the crew’s attention; it’s hard to tell with his mask, but he’s gone as white as a ghost.

“Mon Dieu…”

[fluffyenergee]

hmm, i wonder what you think about how the mercenaries reacted when they were asked for a tickle:3

Were asked for a tickle, huh? As in, asked to ler? I'm getting that correct, I hope. So here:

Scout: So here's the thing, Scout gets way too flustered by tickling but he's Scout, so naturally he tries to be all cocky while also absolutely unable to even say the word "tickle". He says he will do it, he does try, but nope, he's all awkward about it and flustered and keeps imagining himself being in the lee's place and- yeah, it won't work.

Soldier: He will happily agree unless he has something else to do that he deems more important. Don't worry, it's not about you, it's just some good ol' Soldier's probably American nonsense. Otherwise, he will immediately jump on the lee or pin them or pick them up, anything of the sort, and go to town tickling them. Just be ready for him to be probably rather agressive but also have lots of fun lering.

Pyro: *Happy clapping and giggling, absolutely ready to punce on the lee*. Yep, not much else to say here, Pyro just happily does that, really playful about this too.

Demoman: Immediately gets into playful and mischevious mood, "Oh, so ye wanna be tickled, aye? Can't say nae to that!". So prepare for it to be playful and teasy with some wrestling as he pretends to give you a chance to escape or just to make it more interesting. Also, raspberries. He's the raspberry king for a reason.

Heavy: "Tiny baby is asking to be tickled?". Now you've done it... So I hope you're ready, because once he's got you you're not freeing yourself. He's not even agressive with it, though he can definitely be, but he's absolutely strong enough to keep any squirmy lee down. And those big hands? Yeeeeah. Major ler, that's all I can say.

Engineer: *looks at you* *removes his glove* *the gunslinger's fingers wiggle* *uh oh*. "Now, now, sugar, be careful what you ask for". Brrrrah he's such a ler especially when he's in the mood, be careful, seriously. He's one of those lers that can absolutely destroy with even just gentle tickles, in fact he will probably start with those but might very much go into more intense stuff later.

Sniper: Really depends on who you are, he won't be comfortable to do it with just anyone, but be not mistaken, he can be a teasy, vicious ler, he is just very wary of revenge. He will do it unless he feels you're just trying to lower his guard to tickle him instead or isn't really in the mood but spoiler alert, it's quite easy to tease him into being a ler in such situation.

Medic: Oh, he'd gladly accept, but once you asked him you better be ready for more intense tickles because he's really into that. Unless you tell him first to be gentle, then he might be, kinda depends who you are and what kinda mood he's in. But he's very much a ler, so overall he's more than happy to do it.

Spy: Ok, listen, he can be a major ler but not just to anyone. No, no, you have to be on the team for that which members', according to me myself and I, are in one massive poly (aside from Spy and Scout blah bla you know the deal). So basically you have to be his lover (or his son) and then he's really smug and teasy. Otherwise, he's not fucking doing that unless to genuinely humiliate.

Aughugihewf, let's just yoinky sploinky

[some-pers0n]

Heyy I’m new to the tf2 fandom and was wondering where you get your content? Obviously there’s the game and the official animations, but is there any other big source? I’ve heard of the comics but haven’t read them, I don’t know anything other than that lol

Tbh there’s so much fanwork that it’s kinda hard to tell what’s canon and what isn’t 😭

Also I love Medic as well :) AND PYRO, I LOVE PYRO SO MUCH, THEY ARE SUCH A SWEETIE

Finally got around to this anon ask lol.

For general art and such? I hang around here on Tumblr. Twitter too, but mainly Tumblr. I'm always terrible with remembering artists off the top of my head though.. You just go through the TF2 tag and follow whichever one you'd like :] Same thing said with TF2 fics. Despite writing like. 200k words, I don't read a ton of fics. I get too upset too quickly when the characters aren't exactly like how I write them.

The comics are great! You can find them on the official TF2 website. No need to buy anything, as they're available on the comic section. They're actually supposed to be read on that website lol. They're very silly and fun and I recommend them a lot, especially when it comes to learning the more "lore" characters like Saxton Hale, the Administrator and Pauling, Gray Mann, and so on and so forth.

Videos and such? I like watching SFM animations and YouTubers. Some that jump out at me in particular are

Uncle Dane (Engineer tips and gameplay)

Lazy Purple (synopsis of the classes with gameplay and general tips and such)

ShorK (TF2 goofs and memes with the occasional very high-quality stuff as he works kinda with the voice actors of the mercs)

Quazies (fan animations)(both Godzilla and TF2 with the Lil' Pootis shorts),

Elmaxo (TF2 challenges like getting 1000 kills on the sniper rifle and zero headshots kills)

Eltorro64Rus (weird Gmod animations with goofy and silly nonsensical stuff)

Bumbles McFumbles (mostly non-TF2 BUT he has done two videos about the mercs and which one is the biggest war criminal and well as which ones make for the best boyfriend)

ColonelFazipantzen (very pretty SFM animations and memes)

The Winglet (SFM animator who goes high-quality and goofy videos)

Fortress Films (Spy's Disguise and Emesis Blue, two SFM movies that are pretty different and tone [especially with Emesis Blue] and I generally wouldn't exactly recommend as your first exposure to TF2 since Emesis Blue in particular is a serious psychological horror flick)

All you need to know is that official Valve-made stuff is canon. The comics, official SFMs, blog posts, all that. Most of the stuff you find on YouTube or here isn't canon unless it's a repeat of what's shown in canon. Blah blah blah, all that.

[froyocorps]

just scrambled to make the most important tierlist of my life

[cupidsdescendant]

Mercs helping with period cramps! (Part 2)

Hiya babes <3! I hope you all are having a happy holiday! If u don’t celebrate Christmas I hope you have a happy whatever-day!💗💗💗💗 thank you for all the support I’ve been getting on my last posts I appreciate it beyond words!

Pyro:

-clueless but considerate

-when he sees you struggling they try to help however he can

-pryo sees the world different from her view so whenever she sees you hurt or bleeding she believes that your period is a real life devil stabbing you

-yes ik it’s sorta weird but this is how I imagine pyros mind handling things

-usually he’ll punch the air as you lay on the floor or chop the wind believing they’re saving you

-you tell them to relax ! Explaining your menstrual cycle yourself to him in the simplest terms

-you give pryo a small list of what you need and he agrees

-he gets all the things you need in the…maybe more violent ways by killing the workers at the market in retaliation or not getting the stuff for free

-you know she loves you tho <3 and he tries his best!

Sniper:

-a respect full lad, but he doesn’t help much

-he doesn’t really know how to and he could care less

-“Dontcha got arms? You can get this yourself, mate” he says as he focuses on his rifle

-instead you insist he gets you things so he can visit you more often and hang out

-Spy him in the head after he saw Sniper ask if he was okay

-“YOU FOOL!” Spy says as he points to snipers chest and pushes him back a little

-“What the bloody hell is wrong with you, mate?!!” He says in retaliation

-spy gives him a lecture about being considerate to a woman and respectful blah blah and sniper reluctantly agrees

-Sniper legit tries but never gets the hang of it, he helps out in all sorta ways but it’ll always be wrong

-Months go by like this and Sniper always dreads when it’s your cycle because he feels bad he can never be the best for you

-“I can shoot at attah things” Sniper says as he shoots off the head of a Scout “but I cant finish the shot at this thing, doc.”

-Sniper begged Medic to come up to his camper to talk about it, reluctantly Medic listens

-Medic also teaches him how to be proper (spy also helps too lol) but after hours and days of training it’s no use

-Sniper will always tell you how much he loves you when he messes up at it and that he’ll try again next time, so rlly it’s the thought that counts <3

Engineer:

-Engi is already a sweet man and he’s even sweeter when you’re on your cycle

-he understands despite not having any experience with it before and he’s a wonderful listener

-he gets you everything you need no matter what, he gets them quickly!

-Engi will try to make devices to stop your cycle (all of them failing) but when you’re in bed with cramps he’ll sketch and write about a new design

-“it’s okay, pumpkin. This one will work I have a good feeling-!” He says as he kisses your cheek

-he feeds you southern dishes and foods in bed <33

-“uh ahuh-..uhm hello, darling..” Engi says nervously, he’s sweating like crazy and his entire face is red

-“yes Engi? Is something a matter?”

-“well..you see I have an ..idea for uhm..an “invention” he says with quotation marks “well it’s been done-e. befor-e.. but uh i’d like to customize it to fit you-..so I would-..l-like some measurem-ents…”

-“oh of course! What do ya need measured” Y/N says back with a warm smile

-“Uhm. I would need to-..measure your uh.. “ he clears his throat and whispers

“Your hoo-ha-“

“HE MEANS YA PUSSY!” Scout screams out as he laughs as a shook Engi

“WILL YOU GET OUT BOY!” Engi angrily yells back with

-You find out that Engineer wanted to measure your uh..yeah..so then he could make you a custom period cup

-you agree and in the end he makes it and gives it to you in a little bag with a bow

-“I’m very sorry, pumpkin. I should’ve been a lot more ..uh..better with the way I acted.”

-you kiss Engi on the cheek “it’s okay you didn’t do anything wrong. Thank you, hon”

Welp that’s all folks ! It’s currently 2:22 (make a wish <3) and I would love to sleep now from a long day. I hope you all stay safe and have a good day! Mwah! XOXOXO (part 3 will be out soon!)

[web-spinning]

I know everyone had negative views on Spy being a father because he’s quite shit at it honestly, however I was hoping we could get a Spy late father instincts kickin in for a young adult reader?

" Late Night Comfort "- Spy comforting a young adult reader.

Word Count: 1036

Tw. hurt/comfort.

You sat down on the fancy chair, uncomfortably tapping your fingers on it's arms. 

This whole situation made you feel like a child again. You weren't a child, you were almost an adult! And on top of that, a mercenary. You could get through this yourself. 

The battlefield has been tough. A little more than usual. You noticed the others were much more concerned about you lately, but you always shrugged it off with stress and said it's all gonna be okay. The excuse worked on everyone...expect Spy. 

You've barely been a part of the team for two months. You had no chance to even show yourself to your teammates. But somehow, he just knew. 

He saw right through you. And tonight, he knocked on your door while you were crying yourself to sleep, saying he needs to talk to you. 

Right now you were sitting in his room, watching him settle a glass with red wine on the coffee table before you, and then going to the chair on the opposite end of it, facing you while sitting down. You swallowed. Here comes the lecture about how dangerous the job is and how young you are, blah blah...

- Listen...Oh, also the wine doesn't have much alcohol, you can drink it. If you want a cigarette, I have some too.- He said casually. You were about to open up your mouth, but he stopped.- Don't say you don't smoke, I know you do. Saw you with Sniper after the last mission. 

At that, you looked down to your feet and only nodded. You could hear the man sigh. 

- You see, what I wanted to you about is...I think you should take a break.- He said. 

You looked up at him again, starting to get angry. 

- A break? Right now? I can't, Spy I'm...

- You're in constant stress. I can see it. You can't focus during battles, you miss every single shot. And I noticed you've gained some interesting scars on your arms, am I correct?- Spy said, looking right into your eyes. You couldn't help but look away. 

- It's from...

- I know, you don't need to explain it to me. I just want you to cooperate with me. The sooner you go on vacation, the better. It's only two weeks off. 

- Well, where on Earth am I suppose to go?- You asked, a bit salty. You hated the fact that he was right. 

- You see...- He started, taking the glass full of wine into his hand and taking a sip.- To your family. And if you don't want to, Scout's also going on a break to Boston. You can join him. 

- And how is that gonna help? I'm just gonna stress over you all and the missions more and will be counting days to come back.- You replied, feeling a gulp forming inside your throat. 

- That's the thing. You won't, if you manage to let it all stay here. That's why I want you to talk to me. Tell me what's on your mind. We can work this through.- Spy said, putting the glass back down. His tone was very gentle and he seemed to really care. 

For a moment you put down your defense, and sighed. 

- It's just...the missions. I'm not doing good on them anymore. We keep on failing because of me. And you know, the whole mercenary thing...I'm starting to feel like it's not for me. All the other mercs are so much older than me, and I can't really have a normal talk with any of them. I mean, there's Scout, but he prefers to hang out with them. And I'm...

- Lonely?- He cut you mid-sentence, tilting his head to the side. 

- Yeah. It's kinda...- You felt your stomach twist as you thought about it.-...pathetic. 

Saying it out loud, it really hit you. You felt like crying, but instead just took in a deep breath. Spy wasn't replying, so you decided to say something more. 

- No matter how hard I train, no matter how much I try, I can never impress any of you! I just want to feel like home. I didn't take over war, it's the war that took over me! Don't you know, I would rather be at the state university of New Mexico right now...but it was blown up by Saxton Hale because he needed money!- Now pure anger mixed with sadness, and you felt tears forming in your eyes. 

- Spy, I just want to make a new home. I can't have a normal life, at least I can still have this one. But it's not working out.- At this point tears just started rolling on your cheek uncontrollably as you began to delicately shake in the chair. 

- I just want...want a home...- You began whimpering out as you sobbed. It was embarrassing to cry in front of him, but you couldn't help it. 

Spy didn't say a thing, just stood up from his seat. He slowly took off both his gloves, then the Balaklava off his head. He wouldn't usually, but it felt like a good idea. It was somewhat illogical to feel comfortable with someone who hides themself. He slowly approached you, and when he finally got to you, he crouched delicately to meet your eye level. 

He gently took your hand in his, which made you snap your attention towards him. 

- Shhh...I know it's hard. I promise it will be better.- He said.- You're gonna take a break and when you come back, everything will be okay. I promise. 

He began delicately caressing your hand, which was quite calming. 

- Did Scout agree to that?- You managed to mutter out. The man only nodded, and you sighed.- I guess I can go with him.

- Of course. I'm glad.- Spy said, letting go of your hand. He stood up and looked at you again. You exhaled deeply, cleaned the tears off your face and also stood up. Without asking, you just threw yourself onto him. After a second he accepted the hug, pulling his arms behind your back. 

- It's alright, mon chou. Everything will be okay.

[ruthytwoshakes]

WOMEN???!!! AND PYRO AND PAULING AND SPY?!????!??!

I love women happy internationally woman’s day you silly amonguses. I am very happy with these designs! I think they turned out great!! Also I know it’s not practical but I couldn’t resist giving medic long hair ,,it’s so fun to draw hhjhhhh also babushka heavy my beloved, mullet sniper baby girl, buzz cut soldier malewife, blah blah blah etc etc.

Tell me who is your favorite! Tell me who fills you with incomprehensible rage! Tell me everything. Tell me.

Full body designs will come out soon probably!! I have to finish up my art final and study for my math one,, so it depends lol.

[mick-mundy]

self-indulgent tf2 punk headcanons (kind of modern au)

scout, sniper, and demo are all punk fans. you can’t convince me that they don’t all dress up and go to dingy venues together to see shitty bands play. besties 4 life

scout

- loves pop punk, skate punk, anarcho, oi!, and ska. really just the anti-establishment and angsty young adult my-dad-and-girlfriend-suck shit.

- he likes most other subgenres as well but the previously mentioned bullshit is his go-to. definitely a huge reel big fish, less than jake, and blink-182 fan.

- despite his favorites being super fuckin popular (nothing wrong with that!), he has a plethora of knowledge about underrated bands?? he could literally spout off facts about the most random of groups at any given moment if asked.

- “oh yeah, the fartz? fuckin’ wicked seattle-based hardcore band from ‘81, they were one of the city’s first well-known blah blah blah-“

- also loves talking about and listening to boston bands such as gang green, the mighty mighty bosstones, street dogs, and negative fx. he’s a proud bostonian, of course he’s gonna hype up the hometown gigs.

- if you want to get into punk, he’s your guy to talk to :]

sniper

- this fuckin guy.

- ugh i love him so much he’s just like me i wont him so bad

- ever the professional, he listens to that sweet, sweet hardcore shit. i’m talking thrashcore, crust punk, d-beat, noise punk, and grindcore. hard. core. shit.

- he likes the noisiest garbage (affectionate, i love that shit, too) because it’s sort of an outlet for his anger that isn’t shooting people in the head or slashing them to bits. most of the time you can’t understand what hardcore punks are saying in their music and sniper appreciates that.

- he’s not the most verbal person already and he’s especially stunted when it comes to talking about his emotions. when he’s alone in his camper, driving down the endless desert roads to wherever the hell he’s going, he can scream his heart out and nobody will tell him to quit it. he’s looked up a lot of the lyrics to the songs he likes so he knows what they’re about, but also so he can make a playlist specifically for when he needs to go yell off some steam.

- some bands he likes are negative approach, anti cimex, wolfpack, discharge, disarm, minor threat, and crass. crusty bands for a crusty man <333

- he’s definitely got an… acquired taste. he’d absolutely love to have someone, whether a romantic partner or just a close friend, ride along with him on one of his emotional screaming sessions. that’s one of the most intimate things to him <333

demoman

- god what a man

- he’s really down for any kind of punk. part of the charm of going to punk shows is getting drunk on cheap beer, but you KNOW this guy is smuggling that good scrumpy into the venue (ask him nice enough and MAYBE he’ll share.) punk means alcohol, alcohol means a good fuckin time for demo.

- huge celtic punk fan. street dogs, flogging molly, the pogues, blood or whiskey, roaring jack, dropkick murphys; you name it, he’s fuckin into it.

- he likes to make fun of pop punk lyrics but he gets it, y’know? especially scout’s love for it. i think all the mercs except scout know that spy is his dad, so that definitely influences demo’s perception. yeah, the kid’s dad left him and he never knew why, of course he’s gonna be into shitty “punk”, it’s all good. demo sticks up for scout’s choices when it’s somehow his turn to control the stereo. sometimes.

thank you for reading <333 i highly recommend listening to punk, there’s so many different subgenres, i’m sure there’s one for everybody :]]] nothing is more freeing than screaming at the top of your lungs to some low quality bullshit ^ ^

[uwuowotf2waslife]

May I please have mercs with a timid s/o ;;

Of course!

Μercs with a timid S/0 ( meaning: shy & modest for all of us foreigners)

Scout

- lowkey you might think he will act like a jock, he wants to look cool and manly but this boy is a mess of insecurities

- expect some amount of teasing, maybe in bad taste sometimes but he means well

- this boy will show you off and compliment you from day 1 to pretty much everyone who passes by him

- PDA is his must and his cocaine

Soldier

- this boi will think you are scared of him

-itll take some time but he will understand thats how you are

- it doesn't save you from being showed off tho

- " Do you know my girlfriend/ boyfriend Y/N they are as beautiful as lady liberty herself!" " ( More compliments and blah blah)

" sir this a subway, may i take your order"

Pyro

- ideal S/O

-expect to chill in his room and have rad tea parties and arsonistic escapades

- whats more romantic than arson?

Engie

- perfection

- hes sort of introverted himself so he likes it more than he can admit

- him+you+his guitar+ campfire + some beers = lowkey a wish come true and the softest most cute date youll ever have

Demo

- this boi is at a lost

- not a huge extroverted but he likes partying way too much and will be concerned if you dont attend at least one pub with him

- hell fight whoever try to harass/ trouble you because he knows you are shy and might be too embarrassed to act or say anything

- always asks you before PDA becausr he doesnt want to overwhelm you

Heavy

- he is an introverted man and he knows it

- this relationship will be a slow ride due to his limited vocabulary and your shyness

- but if you help him and overcome the language barrier youll have a russian bear to protect you with his life till you die

- not a fan of PDA but will hold your hand and maybe a hug if he sees you overhelmed

House, MD ( zhe medic)

- he will probably offer you experimental surgery to make you less shy ( its only like 80% chance of death like try please hell love it ( please dont)

- dates consist of helping him in the infantry if you aren't grossed out easily or helping with paperwork ( he has the doctor handwriting so itll be a godsend for others to understand what he writes down)

- some PDA and he will offer to perform a open heart surgery without anesthesia to anyone who troubles you

Sniper

- lowkey same

- please be a bit more extroverted than him because itll take a month for you to talk and 2 years to hold hands

- lazy dates are his crack ( cuddling in his campervan of love and watching trash tv)

- he always holds your hand because this boy has terrible abandonment issues, please love him and give him some short of a emotional anchor and he will snipe out gods and monsters alike for you

Monsieur Sharp Baguette ( le spy)

- fellow introvert who hides behind a fancy accent and 6 feet and 180 pounds of toxic arrogance

- he understands where you coming from but he also needs you to understand that you need to " grow up"

- he will teach you his spy ways of seeming extroverted and prideful for your sake but mostly for his so he knows you can hold your own and not be taken advantage when he isnt around

- don't expect a ton of PDA but he will show you off and pamper you like royalty

- the day he sees you making small talk with the cashier or defending yourself in a disagreement he will shower you in the romantic affection only shown in the sappiest romcom you have ever seen

[thetriggeredhappy]

52 for sniperscout!

this is vaguely in reference to something a friend said and THATS OKAY

#52: Accidentally Witnessed kiss.

“So besides the kitchen thing, I think we can wrap up this meeting,” Miss Pauling said, tone bright, and there was a general commotion as all of the mercenaries tried to get up from the too-small and crowded table without anyone whapping anyone upside the head. 

“Have a safe journey,” Spy drawled as he left the room.

“Sure thing!” she chirped, starting to shuffle papers into order. “Oh, I need for… uh, Scout, Engie, and Sniper to all stay behind real quick, okay?”

Scout immediately took a seat again, while Sniper seemed fairly hesitant and Engie waited to finish up what he was saying to Soldier before he sat back down. The room was cleared fairly quickly, and quiet fell as the other mercs made their way off down the hallway, voices fading into the distance.

Miss Pauling waited until it was fairly quiet before she moved to pull a thick manila envelope, stuffed almost to capacity with papers, and passed it to Engie. “New orders, feedback on old projects, and details for when pickup is going to be on everything you’re actually done with,” she said, and Engie nodded, taking the envelope. “Besides that, the Administrator is really happy with your work. Keep it up!”

“Yes ma’am,” Engie said cheerfully, tipping his hardhat at her and leaving the room, giving a little nod to Sniper and Scout as he left.

“New contract?” Sniper asked, tone calm, assuming he was next.

“Actually,” Miss Pauling said, sighing a little as she pulled out a folder, and pulled a packet of paper from within that folder, and flipped that packet open, “I’m supposed to give you guys a reprimand.”

Sniper‘s expression went stony. Scout looked nervous. “Uh. Why’s that, Miss P? The boss is mad at us?” he asked, tone stiff.

“Sort of.” She pushed up her glasses to rub at the bridge of her nose. “Okay. So you two know there’s the booth on-base with feed to the cameras in the hallways and the common areas and stuff, right? And that’s on a recording loop dating to about a week prior in case of any emergencies so we can get insurance claims, blah blah blah. And there’s nobody who monitors it unless something goes wrong or one of you guys breaks in there, which is not allowed.”

Sniper’s expression hadn’t shifted an inch. Scout looked a little less nervous. “Uh, yeah? We know that,” he said.

“Well there’s also cameras on most of the fields you guys do battle on,” she said. “Point caps, stuff like that. And that’s how the Administrator keeps up with the matches. She watches the point caps or where the briefcase is, stuff like that.”

“Okay?” Scout said slowly.

“But she likes to have someone sift through the footage sometimes on the slower battle days to see if anyone’s doing things they shouldn’t be doing out of sight of the combat—usually it’s just Spy being off-sides, Soldier doing… Soldier Things, you guys doing that thing where you dance around with the enemy team instead of fighting each other, stuff like that.”

Sniper might as well have been a plaster cast for how much expression he had going on. Scout was back to looking nervous with a vengeance. “Oh,” was all Scout managed to say.

Miss Pauling sighed, holding her face in her hand. “Look, I haven’t told the Administrator, partially because I’m not sure if she’ll even care since usually it’s between matches anyways, but she might get really mad at you if she catches you. But you two—you’re—I know both of you have enough free time after work to not need to do this between every other match.”

She shook the folder out onto the table, and both Scout and Sniper leaned forward to look at what seemed to be about three dozen print-outs of assorted pictures from the camera feed. All of them featured Sniper and Scout, front and center. Scout’s face was red, and Sniper’s expression almost cracked, face tightening.

“Seriously, just—at least just find a blind spot in a camera or something, it’s getting ridiculous,” she said, well into exasperated. “Or just make out on your own time, I don’t care, but—c’mon. Quit it.”

“You’ve got it, Miss P,” Scout said, the most sheepish he ever got, and Sniper mumbled something that sounded like “understood”.

“Okay. Great. Dismissed,” Miss Pauling said, waving them both off. scooping the pictures back up and starting to get her stack of papers in order.

Both Sniper and Scout were quiet all the way down the hallway and around the corner, at which point Scout promptly shoved Sniper.

“God damn it! You said nobody would see us!” he accused in a stage-whisper, face positively burning.

“You said you thought the cameras turned off between rounds!” Sniper challenged right back, volume similarly dropped, facade of calm breaking right in half.

“I thought they did!” Scout replied, and buried his face in his hands. “Fuckin’… shit, man. How long has she been waiting to call us out like that? I can’t fuckin’ believe this. Shit.”

Sniper sighed, squeezing Scout’s shoulders. “Well. At least it wasn’t as much of a disaster as you thought it would be,” he said after a second, clearly trying his damndest to find the bright side. “Here I thought we’d get sacked for sure.”

“Yeah… Miss Pauling is the best,” Scout mumbled begrudgingly.

“Exactly. So, we just… save it until after work,” Sniper said slowly. “Or… I suppose find one of those blind spots she mentioned.”

Scout nodded, hands falling back to his sides. He glanced over Sniper briefly. “I mean, we found out somethin’ else cool,” he added.

“And what’s that?”

Sniper was suddenly crowded into the wall, Scout stood practically on his boots, grinning up at him. “The cameras in the base aren’t monitored,” he murmured.

Sniper needed to take a moment to process that, swallowing firmly, glancing off to one side up at the camera lording over the hallway. “Suppose you’re right,” he confirmed. “So?”

“So get the fuck down here,” Scout laughed, pulling on the collar of his vest, and Sniper obliged.

[shitty-tf2-headcanons]

Standard fluff question but mercs reacting to their lover telling them theyre gonna be parents?

Scout-

What?! You serious!? He’s gotta tell everybody!! Tell’s his ma, his 7 brothers, the entire team, Miss Pauling, the Administrator, Saxton Hale, Bidwell, Merasmus, etc. Everybody and their fish is gonna know you’re pregnant and expecting. Thanks Scout. 

Promises to be the best damn father there ever was! But he doesn’t know how to be one. So how does he learn? Asks his ma! Seeing as she was the only consistent parent in his life, it only feels right to talk to her about child raising. She tells him everything she knows from raising him and his brothers, all on her own, of course. He hangs onto her every word. He even takes notes.

Having any pregnancy cravings? This boy is sprinting to the store and buying damn near everything in there! Feet hurt? Lay back and let the massage master work his magic! Want some cuddles? He’s already holding you. This boy has got you covered!

Soldier-

You mean to tell him there’s going to be a little solider running around here soon? That’s wonderful! He’s been wanting to train a new recruit! Announces to the team that there will be a new soldier joining their ranks with a big stupid grin on his face. 

Already planning out how he’s gonna turn your kid into a skilled soldier. First, they must have a sensible haircut. Second, he must tell them the story and war strategy of Sun Tzu. Third, he shall introduce your kid to his heads outside. Fourth, he will blah blah blah blah...just be warned that Soldier will someday teach your kid the glory of fighting naked while covered in honey.

Wants to immediately start looking at baby names. You already know this man is gonna wanna name your kid something like America or Liberty. If you’re cool with those names, then go right ahead. But if no, then suggest a name you like and just say it’s patriotic or American. He’ll believes you. Still insists that your kids middle name be something like America.

Pyro-

Baby...they’re gonna be a parent? R-Really?? You just made them the happiest pyromaniac around! Will burst into tears under their mask and is going to tackle you into a hug. They’re so happy!! Not even pyrovision could make them feel this good! Everyone on the team can just feel the happiness radiating off of them.

They already know they’ll love their baby unconditionally but what if the baby is scared of them? They look like a monster in and out of the suit...so they decided to ditch the suit for a while and just wrap their entire body in bandages. Their lover tells them they look silly and they should just show the baby how they really look. From then, Pyro actually stops wearing his suit and mask when off the battlefield

Pyro wants to decorate the nursery with you. So that means painting Pyroland scenery on the walls and building a crib. Pyro also leaves all their stuffies in the nursery (even Balloonicorn) for their baby when they’re finally born.

Demo-

THE DEGROOT CLAN SHALL PREVAIL!!! THE NEXT GENERATION OF DEGROOT’S WILL BE EVEN STRONGER!! Ahem, yeah Demo is pretty happy when he learns the news. Before you know it, every member of the DeGroot clan knows about the pregnancy and is sending the both of you care packages. The care packages are mostly full of bombs and fireworks.

DeGroot clan tradition demands that the parents abandon their kid and only reclaim them when they learn their true bombing potential. Tradition also demands they lose both their eyes. Demo will understand if you are rightfully horrified by these traditions. He is too. So he just says to hell with tradition! He’s never gonna abandon his kid and make them go through what he did! And it’s their choice if they want to lose their eyes or not! He rather you and your kid be happy than make sure some dumb tradition is followed.

Doesn’t drink as much anymore when he learns you’re pregnant. He doesn’t want to give you’re pregnant self a harder time by being black out drunk all the time. He’s also doing it for the baby. He wants his kid to think of him as some fun bomb throwing dad, not a fun bomb throwing drunk dad.

Heavy-

You’re...having a baby? This...this is the best news he’s heard in a while! Is going to pull you into a bear hug and spin you around while laughing jovially, tears are beginning to prick into his eyes. Will carry you all the way to med bay just so he could tell his favorite doctor the good news. He’s carrying you to every team member and telling them the good news too. Not long after he’s gonna call his mom and sisters and tell them the good news. He’s all smiles for weeks after you tell him.

Becomes 10x more caring. Will have Medic check you daily to see if everything is okay. Will do tons of research on what you’re not supposed to do during pregnancy and will make sure you don’t do any of those things. This man will carry everywhere you need to go, can’t have you straining yourself now, can we? Makes sure you and the baby are as comfy as possible.

Along with becoming more caring, he also becomes a lot more protective. No one except Medic (even then Medic’s only allowed to get up close and personal when doing your check ups) is allowed anywhere near you. Heavy becomes something of a personal bodyguard. Will glare angrily at anyone who gets too close to you. Will also not hesitate to throw somebody across the room if they do manage to get close. Eventually everybody learns to stay out of your way. They also realize they shouldn’t do anything reckless or dangerous in front of you in fear of incurring Heavy’s wrath. 

Engineer-

His honeybee is pregnant?! Yeehaw!! This calls for a celebration! This boy is gonna throw a whole ass party with the team and just cook an entire feast for everyone. Spends the entire time insisting that you eat enough for two and making sure you’re having a good time. Never fails to remind everyone that you’re pregnant, eventually Demo and Sniper make it into a drinking: every time the word “pregnant” comes out of Engie’s mouth, they take a shot.

Dad mode overload. Engie’s days are now spent just tending to you. He’s going to be cooking you your favorite breakfast and dinner everyday from then on. Full body massages are going to become a lot more common. Will fluff your pillows to their most fluffiest state and make sure your bed is as comfy as possible. Cleans up any mess you make with no hesitation. You’d think he would be tired from all this extra work but no. He’s just as energized and motivated as ever. 

Just like Pyro, he wants to build a nursery with you. He’ll leave the painting and decorating to you while he starts building the crib and every other piece of furniture needed for a nursery. Will also not hesitate to build his own toys for your baby to play with when their born.

Medic-

You both kinda find out at the same time actually. He’s doing your monthly check up when he finds out you’re pregnant. Then he tells you and it just kinda spirals from there. He’s all smiles and cheers when you both tell the team but that all but disappears when the two of you are alone that night. He never imagined he would be a father...isn’t he too old anyway? Those thoughts quickly leave when he realizes how excited you are. Maybe having a baby with you, the love of his life, won’t be too bad after all. Plus the thought of having a little apprentice gets him all giddy.

Just like Heavy, you’re gonna have daily check ups from then on. As your doctor and lover, he has to make sure you and your child is at peak health. Will get snappy if you try to skip an appointment. Will also have a panic attack if he sees something even slightly wrong with you or the baby. Even his doves look a little stressed. So it kinda becomes the patient’s job to calm the doctor down.

Will have his doves on guard duty. Whenever he’s not around you, one of his doves (mostly Archimedes) will stick with you and keep a close eye on you. In the event that something does happen to you, his dove will report back to him and squawk at him. That’s Medics cue to drop everything and attend to you. 

Sniper-

Not gonna lie, this man is gonna faint when you tell him. Believe him when he says he’s overjoyed, but he’s scared out of his mind. He’s not fit to be a dad!! He pisses in jars and throws it at people!! He shoots people for a living!! HE LIVES IN A VAN!!! What kind of normal dad does that?!? Snipes is gonna cling to you even more and ask for constant reassurances. He doesn’t want to screw this whole dad thing up...

Will ask Engie to help renovate his van so there’s more room for you and the baby, in the end it kind of resembles a trailer. Fully intends on traveling to places with you and the baby. Witnessing the world’s many wonders with the two of you will only make those moments that much sweeter.

Just like the other guys, he wants you to be as comfy as possible. So that means knitting a couple blankets and sweaters for you if you ever get cold. Will also do the same thing for the baby, he’ll even try to make little booties for them too!

Spy-

excuse me what the fuck??? Doesn’t faint like Sniper but gets very pale and sweaty. Oh god this can’t be happening again...once was already enough. Seriously plans on running away, he’s already trying to fake his death, when it dawns on him: Scout turned out to be disaster. He wasn’t there for Scout...so there’s a chance of your kid turning into a Scout 2.0...no...he won’t allow that to happen. Spy promises to stay and raise your kid right. He refuses to make the same mistake again.

You think he’ll allow you and your child to live on the base? Ha, don’t make him laugh! Being the extra bitch he is, he is going to buy you a whole ass house and it’s all yours. Fully decorated and everything of course. Being the shitty good expecting father like he is, he’ll spend a lot of his time there with you. It starts to feel like home after a while.

When you’re sleeping, he’ll just hold you and stroke your belly. He’s scared. He knows almost nothing about being a real father. It would be so easy to run away. But...he can’t. He loves you far too much to abandon you both now. Most nights are spent like this during the pregnancy.

Miss Pauling-

Aw crap, how is she gonna work and be pregnant at the same time? She’s always wanted kids but why did she have to get pregnant when she’s working a job that only allows her 1 day off a year. She’ll try to hide her pregnancy and keep working. But the Administrator knows everything and just tells her to go home for as long she needs. In return, she just asks that you take over for Pauling. Pauling will still insist on helping you with your new job.

Pauling is going to be feeling a little down now that she’s basically jobless and forced to try to relax for months. Just read gun catalogs to her and give her hot chocolate and she’ll feel a little better. Though being with you does improve her spirits greatly.

Is gonna wanna spruce up her apartment and bit and make some more room for the baby. So that means buying new furniture and painting the walls purple. With all the purple, you have a feeling your kid is gonna be conditioned to like the color. Just don’t mention this to Pauling cause she will chase you down and insist on painting you purple too. 

[cryptidofthekeys]

May I present to you- the babs

Okay so let me start off by saying I legit worked on these guys ALL day yesterday, mind you a few breaks of course! even then uhh breaks... didnt do me much good... my arm hurt like a b i t c h- but im super proud- god, just, these babs are gonna be fun to write with ....eventually- not now- god no- arm machine broke- I’ll put this under a keep reading btw so it aint too much a hassle

Names: Ashton (Ashton is the Sniper), Vincent (Vincent is the Spy and he's the leader of the group), and finally Erwin (he's the Medic) | Nicknames: Ash, Vin (Ash loves to call him Vinny much to his dismay but eh he'll be fine), and Erwin doesn't really have any nicknames he cares for tbh- just call him by his name | Genders: Male | Species/Race: Androids/Robots | Heights: Ashton is 8'7", Vincent is 9'5" making him the tallest of the group, and Erwin is only 5'0" making him the shortest of our lovely little group here | Hair Colors: Ashton's hair color (not that'll ye'll see much of it, he usually keeps his hat on) but his hair color is: Hickory Brown and honestly its just super messy underneath that hat, Vincent's hair is Pitch Black and slicked back, annnd finally Erwin's hair is dyed a: Mint Green (his hair is a Messy Undercut style) | Eye Colors: Ashton's is an Icy Blue, Vincent's is Imperial Red, and Erwin has heterochromia, his eyes are a light pastel blue and a Mint Green color | Appearances: Let's start off with Ashton bc why not, first off I gotta say- despite what the normal tf2 bots look like, these babs ACTUALLY look like r e a l mercs, real people, there's only a few ways to tell their androids and that's by looking closely at their open wounds which I'll get to all their prominent wounds in a moment, first up... Ashton usually wears punk-like clothing, or something similar- he has leather jackets with TONS of spikes on them, gloves with spikes on them, pants with the chains that hang down and don't forget them sweet sweet combat boots, he also tends to wear some of those face masks, most of the ones he owns has sharp teeth patterns on it but one in particular that he owns has eyes all over it (all of them are black, his clothing is either black or just REALLY dark colors in general) However, when Vincent and them aren't doing business stuff or whatever, he usually wears again, its mostly dark clothing but he doesn't give a shit what he wears like, t-shirts, tank-tops, whatever- that's when you can PROPERLY see his wounds and this android has a TON of them, v e r y open wounds that expose tons of wiring and robotic-y insides as well, so many various parts, so many w i r e s... just o o f- oh and for all of them I'll say they ALL have facial hair, Ashton has a circle beard, Vincent has a short boxed beard, and Erwin's is REALLY just stubble to get that out of the way, ahem- anyways, Ashton actually DOES have sharp teeth, a few rows of them actually. Now... Onto big boss man Vincent, Vincent is a fancy man for sure, fitting considering he's supposed to be an android/robot of the Spy, like Ashton, he H A T E S bright colored clothing but its for different reasons aside from bright ones just being irritating to look at, it also messes with his sensors actually, he's the only one out of the group who has that problem- the other's sensors aren't bothered at all by bright clothing, anyways- Vincent usually wears dark colored suits, not just black n brown though he has MULTIPLE options, dark red, dark blue, etc- I could go on- he has a LOT of fancy clothing, even his s h o e s are fancy, oh and uh he wears the typical leather gloves and that balaclava/ski mask lookin thing ya know the usual spy attire there blah blah, he also sometimes wears fedoras or some sorta fancy hat n stuff, unlike Ashton he doesn't have rows of razor bladed teeth, his teeth are just- normal tbh but that doesn't make him any less dangerous- he has a few wounds actually, one on his back that reveals some robotic parts and has a few wires sticking out although it doesn't seem to bother him too much, a has a really large stab wound on his chest that has some wires sticking out of there as well and reveals some rather serious looking parts- this one actually bothers him a little bit but he tries his damnedest to keep it hidden. and finally... Erwin, he usually wears pastel clothing with cute designs on them long sleeved t-shirts, hoodies, sweaters, etc- even his p a n t s are pastel colors! He does try to make sure the pastels aren't TOO bright or anything, he doesn't want Vincent's sensors to malfunction nor does he want to irritate his friends! He has TONS of openings that'd reveal a BUNCH of tattered wires, its a wonder he's even still functional at this point, a lot of his parts and wires are tattered and not in a VERY good condition, but he doesn't seem to let it stop him! His voice box is a little... messed up but he's still fully intelligible, sometimes it DOES make him stutter, sometimes it cuts out completely but he always somehow finishes his sentences in the end even if he has to start over, he's self conscious about his voice box messing up sometimes and he's DEFINITELY self conscious about all the scars he has over him, its partially why he wears hoodies/sweaters the MOST out of all the other clothing, he doesn't want people to see all his tattered wires n scars! He does have four prominent canines but other than that, his teeth are relatively like a normal human's. oh and as a bonus he usually wears circle glasses, it CAN technically help improve his vision a bit more but also they look cute so he loves them shh. | Personalities: Ashton's up first, now I will say even tho their robots and technically powerhouses compared to humans ANYWAYS- he IS the true powerhouse of the group, the b r u t e- BUT he's not all brawn and no brains, he's not stupid by any means even if he can act like a punk or cold rude bitch, he has a l o t of intelligence in fact- and he uses that to his advantage for sure, he's not entirely a cold rude bitch- to his friends he's relatively well, friendly and nice- even if he does mess with them sometimes- he loves to get on Vincent's nerves the most because he finds it funny mostly, but he knows when to stop so he doesn't take things too far, Erwin... messing with him can be... difficult, he uh- its not that he CANT do it, he can! He TOTALLY can its just... listen, shut up- Spy's his fave to mess with- He absolutely hates humanity, their creators especially more so- if he ever saw em or hell humans in general when he sees em- it always takes e v e r y t h i n g in his power to hold himself back from tearing them to shreds, he wouldn't even w a n t to use a gun against them despite being based off a Sniper, he'll take them apart with his strength and teeth alone if he REALLY wants! After all, making them suffer first would bring him such joy, he's not evil, none of them REALLY are, but I'll explain that all in side facts, for now (tl;dr: Ashton gets along quite well with his friends even if he messes with Vincent a lot and gets on his nerves, in fact that's when you'll see him a bit more cheerier than he usually is, now... towards humans or whatever, he's a g g r e s s i v e- he'll strike them down then and there if Vincent gives him the command, but even if he c a n t, he'll still be cold or rude to em at the very least, terrify them a little bit even- he does NOT like humans at all whatsoever) Vincent... as I've stated, he's the leader of the group, he's DEFINITELY got the perfect personality to be a leader for sure, first off he has MAJOR confidence- he's a super confident dude, he REALLY kinda has to be- after all, his role was the leader of this little group- it was forced upon him so he decided to go along with it- they wanted him to be leader so he'll fulfill that position but if he e v e r gets a hold of them their gonna wish they hadn't e v e r done what they did, he DOES have some narcissistic tendencies but its nothing TOO major, he can be suave and gentlemanly but that part is usually just an act to trick people, he plays nice and makes them think he's trustworthy and then that's when they strike, its a m a z i n g to him how naive and so trusting humanity can be, he can't w a i t to get his hands on their creators, what a f u n day that'll be! Now he's not all big and bad, he can be nice to his friends- he does have a bit of snark and sass but its all in good fun, he mostly keeps it directed towards Ashton but sometimes he'll dish out some snark or sass towards Erwin ...he seems oblivious to that part tbh- but he... even though he doesn't show it a LOT he does care about them a lot, they've been there for him ever since the day they were first created, he absolutely loathes and despises humans- he always uses an act to just lure them to either their death OR, to a little interrogation room where he tries to find out if they know a n y t h i n g about their creator, I mean either way they do kinda die in the end so it really doesn't matter and finally Erwin, he's... a lot nicer than the other two, he doesn't hold a grudge towards his creators nor especially not to humanity, not ALL of them are as bad as Vincent and Ashton think surely... not that he'd ever tell them he doesn't hold grudges or whatever, he's worried he'd ruin their plans or worse, make them mad at him- so he pretends to hate humans when their around, he's actually helped his fair sure of humans escape from the others as well, now sure he DID try and ask a few of them about the creator, when they said they knew nothing he managed to lead them safely away without the others detecting them, now I won't say he's ALWAYS been lucky- sometimes the other two... catch him in the act and he almost had something equivalent to an a n x i e t y attack when they caught him but he played it off by telling them he saw this human wandering around and he also tried to play it off like he interrogated them and they knew nothing about the creators, but of course they uh... wanted to... "take care" of the human for him and he couldn't risk arguing against they'd suspect too much bc he's never been one for killing or whatever (despite being a version of a Medic lmao), there's been a lot of those times where he's felt so guilty for letting them take the human... They didn't know anything, they didn't even seem bad, why kill them? He knows their angry, they want revenge but something seems wrong... but, he'd n e v e r go against his friends, no matter how he feels- they've been there for him through thick and thin and he cares a LOT about them despite this (p much he's a good boy, he can get nervous/anxious sometimes, he just... wants his friends to be happy and rest easy really, he cares a lot about them despite all they do, he's deeply afraid if they find out what he's done or that he doesn't have grudges, etc- that they'll be a n g r y with HIM) | Side Facts: Alright, so... the best run down I can give is this... They didnt really wanna be created in the first place BUT they tolerated it- like ok chill, we gotta tolerate existing now- but then like they were pretty much abandoned bc they were discontinued, bc the tf2 bots look like actual robots, im making these guys more like androids as you already know im sure- closer resemblances to the actual human mercs n shit- but ANYWAYS- something happened and they didnt want to continue making androids like them so the three of them got left behind and of course were thought to be shut down but surprise surprise, their still active, their still out there and their. fucking. l i v i d- first they didnt really wanna exist in the first place, ok they could chill out bout that bc they learned to deal with it BUT- N O W their being discontinued? They dont even have a full t e a m!! its bullshit so now their a wee bit- okay no they are absolutely fucking livid at the creators and humanity in general- except, as you know- Erwin can't hold grudges or anything- he doesnt think ALL humans are bad or at least he hopes their not, but either way- Vincent and Ashton p much feel hatred n coldness towards the creators and humanity. | AU: So a best bud of mine suggested since I had like t w o really good ideas for these lads and couldnt use both of them bc it'd like conflict with many things, to make an AU outta the second idea- I- honestly gotta thank em for fuckin reminding me that AUs are a t h i n g that e x i s t s- but anyways, this AU is basically where Ashton, Vincent, and Erwin died and the respawn, sorta... well broke for em, dont know why or how but it just did, so they died for reals and just... their souls wandered the earth for a bit until they found the bodies of these robots and decided to possess them p much, and now since they died for real- they REALLY wanna return the favor to the ones who killed em (of course, not gonna tell who that was e x a c t l y not yet anyways), I will say their personalities will probably differ from canon a LITTLE bit in this regard, like their still- well in this AU their MORE vengeful than they could EVER be in canonverse- even Erwin in this AU is vengeful, only towards those who did em wrong of course. and with a conversation I had with my partner, there was more expansion that happened, essentially- it was questions of the teammates and what'd happen there (thank you darling, I appreciate this bc this just gave the AU more expansion that I really wasnt just thinking bout on my own), bc if they didnt go back to their teammates they'd be without the supports and ahem, the medic- but anyways, if they did wwweeeellll... their team wouldn't EXACTLY recognize it as them, to them its just potential enemy bots that they need to dispose of orrr at least run off, and that's what they'd definitely do at first, now I will say, there's the chance oh Idk, Erwin interacts with the Heavy (listen... I dont have canon names for this team... im- im too tired to figure it out rn for all the team sdjkajdj they will have to wait for awhile) but Erwin and the Heavy were VERY good close friends, and Erwin could show him that, he's... well, his best bud- they ALL had certain things they used to do or say to their teammates- and ya know if Erwin proved that to Heavy- he'd- well, a lotta emotions would be running wild in that case, of course im getting a head of myself- I should have clarified, bc the team k n o w s the others died and weren't respawning which of course they absolutely tried to deny- they'd be back soon ....yeeaahh they werent, and like now they do find it suspicious these three bots showed up that are designed like the supports but they'd never go that far to say its their dead teammates possessing these... robots, that's a little far-fetched for them. So unless Erwin goes and tries to convince his best friend, who knows what'll happen- oh and I'll also say, aside from the personalities- the actual human versions of Ashton, Vincent, and Erwin would look a LITTLE different- they still wear the same clothes n have similar features, they have scars but those don't reveal tattered wires since their humans you know, and their eye colors- Ashton's eyes are Cobalt Blue, Erwin's eyes are baby blue, and Vincent's eyes are a Caramel Brown, they also don't have those sharp teeth or fangs- oh and their heights are different, Ashton is 6'4", Vincent is 6'8", annnd Erwin- eh he's the same height the bots of course, still retain the same look as in canonverse however so try not to get too confused by different appearances!