#and everything she does is hyper realistic and absolutely perfect

[psychoticwillgraham]

my fear of failure and pursuit of perfection is ruining my artistic endeavors and it fucking sucks bc i just Can't break out of it. probably bc of how ingrained being perfect and successful was in my family honestly.

[creature-wizard]

He claims that his journey to Jesus started when his girlfriend became deathly ill with food poisoning. He says that she was in "what the Bible describes as the Valley of the Shadow of Death."

My guy, what?

"The Valley of the Shadow of Death" comes from certain English translations of Psalm 23, and there's nothing in the rest of it to suggest it has anything to do with being literally near death. Some translations mention nothing about a "shadow of death" at all. (Example 1, example 2.)

Anyway, he says New Age spirituality had him so self-absorbed that he couldn't be there for his girlfriend, which does sound about right. It's not that New Age is going to make each and every person a total dick, but like... it really doesn't do much foster a sense of communal or interpersonal responsibility. For all it talks about community-building, it's still highly individualistic.

He says that his girlfriend experienced her alien spirit guides laughing at her and mocking her, and this totally proves that they were demons all along. He claims that she "intuitively knew that her soul was being claimed for Hell."

Meanwhile, I know a Christian guy who had the experience of God telling him all kinds of horrible things when he was in a bad state of health. He was absolutely convinced that he was an irredeemable sinner. Does this prove that God is actually demonic? Or does it just mean that you can have all kinds of terrible experiences when you're unwell?

His girlfriend who supposedly knew nothing substantial about Jesus essentially prayed for help and Jesus answered. Look, we live in a Christianized culture, this stuff is on billboards and pamphlets and everything, most people know more about it than they realize.

After this incident, he says Jesus started "speaking to him" through all of these billboards (I literally wrote the paragraph above before he mentioned this, lol) he saw by the road. (Are you sure you've gotten over your self-centeredness? Thinking that an advertisement is a personal message to you, really?)

Later he has this "prophetic dream" where he visits the New Heaven and the New Earth and receives his glorified body. He describes it as being unlike a psychedelic trip, being "hyper realistic." I think it's worth pointing out here that the reality shifters who visit Hogwarts often describe their experiences as "hyper realistic."

After that he has this dream where he's trying to get some Orthodox Jewish people to convert and suddenly he sees himself as Jesus and experiences Jesus's whole life or something.

Then after awhile he experiences Jesus telling him "It's time to get to know Me" and Jesus boops him on the head (okay, technically touches him with two fingers - y'know, the benediction hand pose that's everywhere in art) and he feels his "inner man" light up.

And later he gets this vision of the Resurrection of the Dead.

Then he finally reads the Bible, which he claims Satan was preventing him from reading, and never made sense to him before. He claims that it was like he was "in the mind of Christ" and realized everything in it was the literal Truth and realized that all of the world's problems is because we aren't following God's laws. Oh, and supposedly the Bible made perfect sense to him now because he had the Holy Spirit.

I'm sorry, but if the Bible suddenly all makes perfect sense to you and feels totally coherent, what you're on isn't some access to objective truth, because the Bible is a collection of books and letters written from many different perspectives, some of which blatantly contradict each other. What's going on in your head is simply not what's going on in the actual text. Whether you admit it or not, you're applying some kind of personal filter.

And I know damn well just from looking at you that you haven't "fully read" the Bible. If you had, you wouldn't have that bun on your head, because Paul basically said "long hair on men bad."

Then he acts like you can instantly cure whatever's wrong with you (including addiction) by casting out the demons in the name of Jesus, and my dude, I promise you, better Christians than you have struggled with addiction more than you'll ever comprehend.

Then he ends the video claiming that we're getting close to the End Times, and the world's governments are trying to distract people from Christianity with alien hoaxes. So, he's basically exchanged one ridiculous conspiratorial worldview for another.

This next guy is interesting, he's a former New Age alien channeler. And he's obviously the real deal; he's got the New Age spiritual leader "look," he is clearly literate in the beliefs and metaphysics of New Age, and he admits that some New Age practices are helpful.

Also I can find videos of him from before his conversion.

He describes how he met these aliens; he'd have terrifying sleep paralysis experiences where he met these alleged alien beings. Other New Agers would tell him that his fear was from his own perception. He claims that this fear came from his "own compass" telling him that they were actually demonic beings.

My dude. My guy. There is just one little problem with your logic here, which you would know about if you'd properly read the New Testament.

And I bet many of my readers can figure it out.

How many of you remember that famous line uttered by the Archangel Gabriel in the Gospel of Luke? The one also uttered by the nameless angel at the tomb in the Gospel of Matthew?

You know...

"FEAR NOT!"

Was the Archangel Gabriel actually a demon? Was Jesus, in fact, the spawn of Satan? Because that's what you're implying here, my dude.

He also says that these demonic entities can trick you by giving you good feelings, which doesn't exactly make it sound less likely that Jesus is demonic, either.

[vivithefolle]

Hi,

Thank you for the answer to my previous question, I hope you are doing well.

I read JKR's quote on Ron needing to grow up in HBP, and while I didn't think much on that, reading metas on Ron makes me wonder, was that the way to show him growing up, by having everything piled up on him the way it went in HBP, because that leads to negativity I feel. rather than piling up stuff to show he has grown up, we can see how his behavior has changed, how he does not repeat mistakes he made earlier. I know there are other ways, but these are the ones I could list. I would like your thoughts on this.

I hope you're doing great! Sorry I didn't answer sooner, I've been having RESPONSIBILITIES, can you imagine D:

Honestly, I'd tell you to not believe JKR when she assesses her characters, because often she's full of shit. ESPECIALLY when it comes to Ron and Hermione. If she starts to compare the two of them close your ears, close your eyes, grit your teeth and let it go. She's a sexist old coot, don't even bother.

Really, all she wanted was for Ron to be the "instigator" of drama, because of course, because she's too much of a coward to have Hermione be the one to fuck everything up since gasp, can you imagine, people wouldn't like Hersel- I mean Hermione - anymore if Hermione proved to be a failible, mundane teenager like the rest of us... ahem.

So she piled on negativity and self-esteem-breaking shit onto Ron, just so he could be the first to break, and then she had Hermione be a horrid little madam except since Ron was mean first then dear darling precious flower Hermione is perfectly entitled to be an asshole back right? Nevermind that Ron was never so horrible when he was 14 and heartbroken, he just made a prat of himself in public once then he stopped, but Hermione's entitled to bully him for MONTHS and forgives him ONLY ONCE HE'S ALMOST DIED. But it's Ron that needs to grow up, uh-huh, sure.

we can see how his behavior has changed, how he does not repeat mistakes he made earlier

And the thing is, his behaviour DID change! But like a teen that is LEARNING, he doesn't get it right. Not the first time, not the second time, he fumbles and misses.

In GOF he went directly to confront Hermione, making a scene in public. In HBP he doesn't confront her at all, avoiding her and using the silent treatment. From one extreme to another as he's learning how to deal with that shit, because that's how kids learn emotional regulation and develop into adults. That's NORMAL. THAT'S HEALTHY EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT GOD DAMNIT STOP BRANDING A LITERAL KID AS AN INCEL WHEN HIS LITERAL BRAIN DEVELOPMENT ISN'T FINISHED.

... ahem. Sorry. Got... got a little upset here.

Except that next to a almost hyper-realistic teenage character you have the poor man's ideal of feminism, Hermione Granger the one Sue to rule them all, who's lauded for being always so calm and nice and mature and understanding, but also when she's being a bitch and straight-up committing assault it's oh no you don't understand, she's just a teenager!!! Plus RON started it!! Then when you start going "but wait then, you were saying it's great Hermione has flaws but now you're trying to excuse her flaws away, you know that's exactly what I mean when I say she's a Mary Sue-" they immediately go NO SHE'S NOT A MARY SUE SHE'S SO RELATABLE!!!! I too was so wise and smart and brilliant and only ever did things perfectly on the first try, I always got everything absolutely right, even my own emotional development was done perfectly without a hitch because I was just so mature for my age :D

... Yeah, right, ok, fine, all I'm hearing is "I'm probably stuck at mental age 15" and "I have a completely fucked-up, puritanical view of what teenagers are like". Also "I think feminism is about worshipping Hermione Granger for being an unrealistic character and holding her up as a role model to turn little girls into neurotic messes that try to keep up with her 'perfection' and become depressed burnt-out messes when they inevitably fail".

Sigh... all in all Rowling was really just... interested in piling shit on Ron so she could humiliate him in her twisted idea of "romance". To her Ron was "expecting Hermione to make herself less than she is" I guess??? (actual JKR quote)

But Ron NEVER DOES THAT!!! He never fucking does that!! When he beats her at something he's FUCKING ECSTATIC because HE KNOWS! He KNOWS just how """brilliant and smart and wonderful and saintly""" Hermione is and HE'S HAPPY HE WON FAIR AND SQUARE! Conversely, it's Hermione in that scene who gets upset and tries to DIMINISH RON'S ACCOMPLISHMENT TO MAKE HERSELF FEEL BETTER!!!

So... basically, Rowling is trying very hard to force the square peg into the round hole by claiming something, EXCEPT SHE WROTE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT SHE CLAIMS SHE'S WRITTEN. It's HERMIONE who keeps casually belittling Ron, it's RON who says that "always the tone of surprise" AND HAS REASON TO SAY IT BECAUSE HE'S SPENT PRETTY MUCH SIX YEARS BEING TREATED LIKE HE'S AN INCAPABLE IDIOT AND THIS ENTIRE BRAINDEAD FUCKING FANDOM OF BRAINDEAD FAKEMINISTS FOLLOWS SUIT BECAUSE CRITICAL THINKING, HEY, NOT EVEN ONCE!!!!

... Fuck I really should learn to stop being so pissed over stupid shit. Blargh.

Aaaanyway! Sorry friend, I wasn't targeting you, I wasn't angry at you, I'm not angry at you, I was raging against the heavens so to speak. Have a great day. *hugs*

[chainofclovers]

Ted Lasso 2x1 thoughts

Running out of time to capture my thoughts on 2x1 specifically before 2x2 airs, so here's a mess of things I thought about in response to the season 2 premiere. (Heavily informed by conversations w/my wife and some friends and family both within and without the fandom, discord conversations, things I've read on tumblr, reviews in the press, and, yes, my own little brain when it's alone.)

I really liked it (actually, I loved it)

Because a lot of people--myself included--binged s1 in a single go, I think a lot of people came away from that (beautiful almost perfect) season of TV with a sense that it was just this continuous five-hour explosion of feelings-y goodness with a very clear thesis statement: Make The Audience Happy. But obviously there's a lot of complicated stuff being set up within those five hours of TV, with intentional dividing lines and transitions between the episodes. I know some people watched 2x1 and felt frustrated because it didn't "feel like Ted Lasso" but I didn't feel that way. What I did feel, by contrasting 2x1 with all of s1, is that the atmosphere in s1 wasn't so much an audience-centric feel-good make-em-laugh kind of thing so much as a reflection of the gradual feeling of settling into home as Ted finds his place in Richmond and at AFC Richmond and in letting go of things (marriage) for the first time, and Rebecca, who's majority owner of the damn club but doesn't have a place within it, goes on a parallel community-locating journey. So the intensely warm, comfortable, feelings-y viewing experience is really just a reflection of what it was feeling like for pretty much every character with the exception of Rupert and Bex to carve out a more comfortable, honest, warm place for themselves.

But the challenges of relegation, the specters of the past, the longing any character (any human) has for more, and the mental health issues that come along for the ride meant that 2x1 needed to feel uncomfortable. They create that atmosphere by riddling 2x1 with so many jokes and references that it feels chaotic, overstuffed. The football season isn't going horribly, but it's WEIRD, and everyone is uncomfortable, and Ted doesn't know how to deal with the discomfort within himself so he's relying on the things he knows: references, anecdotes, strung-together wisdom. He clearly plans the Hank-the-dog speech in advance of the press conference, and the tongue-in-cheek "wow, this is so profound" expressions on the journalists' faces are hilarious to me because it's like we're watching them react to a man who's about to lose it and is in the final moments of being able to control the narrative about his team before someone from the outside will have to come in.

I'm obsessed with a tag @ratherembarrassing put on a TL reblog: "This is a show of soliloquies." I loved Ted's manufactured yet thematically necessary speech. I loved that Rebecca basically blacks out at a coffeeshop and tells John all about the messages (harmful or at least profoundly still-in-progress) she's been processing about intimacy and safety. [Side note: it's so perfect that she's still afraid to feel safe. It's like, "If I feel safe, what am I missing about the situation that's going to come back to hurt me?" OOOOF.] I feel like these moments where characters kind of speechify and the audience matters but the audience also does not matter just reflect the overall atmospheric stuff the show does. Like, it's more important to make us feel how it feels than to construct a moment of hyper-realistic dialogue. I get why it can be jarring but I'm into it.

The dog. Welp. A dog died right away. The special effects looked weird. I love dogs, I'm not a monster, but I was also just...not emotionally torn up about Earl at all. It's a catalyst. It's a very quick way to kind of bloop the entire world of Ted Lasso into a skewed and uncomfortable place where these characters absolutely need to reside until they can figure out how to attend to their own mental health and healing with the same focus and compassion they apply to their friendships with other people.

I'm obsessed with how much everything is going to HURT. Like, Ted walked in and Rebecca said she wished he was Keeley and then she didn't start eating the biscuits right away?!?

The biscuits are such an emotional crutch in s1 and SO MUCH of Rebecca's headspace is taken up with destroying something Ted is starting to love, destroying Ted, but also being there for him and feeling seen by him in a truly unique way, so I kind of love the psychic shift here, where all this emotional stuff has happened between them but to move forward they're going to have to learn some new conversational skills. Like girl talk.

The nail polish. I love everyone. I love the nail polish. I love that Ted was late to practice because of it. I love how much he wants other people to need him because it's so clear that he got his feelings hurt like 30 times in 2x1 and doesn't even fully realize it.

I love Dr. Sharon Fieldstone. I love that everyone but Ted very clearly understands the value of having a sports psychologist around. I love that her introduction is not about having to sell the players on the fact that they should talk to someone, but rather about Ted's discomfort over his own leadership abilities and the conflict this could create. It's so good. I'm so excited about it.

Beard and Ted in the pub! All people are different people! Ahhhhhh! Thank God For Beard (TGFB). TGFB is probably going to be my personal motto while watching this season of adorable and emotionally wrenching and ambitious television.

OK, I feel better now that I have this chaotic list out of my brain and onto tumblr. Should that make me feel better? I do not know. I do know that I'll probably try to do this for every episode because watching it week by week is going to drive me insane and I would really like to have some kind of record of the distinct-to-episodes yet cumulative viewing experience before I'm able to take in the full season (and the full series so far) as a whole.

[thealogie]

before delving into hot mash summer, here is everything I watched or tried to watch during detox mash spring, ranked not at all based on quality but SOLELY based on how much they helped me detox:

-the handmaid’s tale. This is torture porn and I couldn’t finish it. I was PMSing so I cried at several points where the women living under slavery touched fingers or risked it all to help each other because gestures of devotion and love in the face of unspeakable violence and atrocity always get me. But overall this show was manipulative and had nothing to say, so it did not distract me from the shit Alan Alda pulled 40 years ago. -5/100

-the Americans. i didn’t get far in this rewatch. every episode I was thinking: this is the 80s, why aren’t they watching mash? what’s Elizabeth’s stance on mash?! I bet she thinks it’s American propaganda. I bet Philip looooves it and has totally bought into it though. Has Philip styled his own non-threatening American masculinity on Alan Alda? On that Alan Alda Ms. Magazine cover. The complete lack of discussion about mash was jarring simply took me out of that world completely. Nearly unwatchable. I now know that mash does come into it later but the dragging out was just not believable to me. 0/100

-black sails. True neutral. Did I enjoy rewatching a show that didn’t make me go “what does it mean? what does it MEAN???” every two minutes? Absolutely. Love knowing everything that they intended. however, it both reminds me too much of mash AND simultaneously is too complete/logical on its own to help me “detox” from mash. 5/100

-Chernobyl: things start to get interesting here. The “Jared Harris trying to speak truth to power while people die in cold climate due to man’s hubris” cinematic universe undoubtedly shared some themes with mash (communism, military leaders gaslighting you about whether you’re being bombed/whether there’s a nuclear reactor core etc). Overall though I think the realistic tone, the nature of the tragedy being explored and gritty grim dark aesthetics really managed to make me not think of mash for prolonged periods of time. 20/100

-the terror: in mash I learned the names of people from s1-s3 right away even though I started with s4. In the terror my brain was working overtime to remember anyone’s name beyond the core five that I forgot about mash about prolonged periods of time. But then crozier would do something incredibly put upon and “I must obey my own morals” and I’d be like “oh wow I really do love gay captains that’s a thing.” Altogether I’d say this show is high in detox value and holds a special place in my because it’s the first non-mash show I managed to watch this spring. 25/100

-Silicon Valley: the perfect show comfort show. Just gay enough, just funny enough, just meaningful enough. It doesn’t score any real points in its satire of the tech industry but it lets you laugh at them the way arrested development (the original run) made us laugh at bush. The ending reminded me a little of mash (in that it’s sad on a character level but the logical/correct conclusion to the narrative structure) and sometimes I felt a little “my poor little meow meow” about Jared Dunn. Altogether though a solid 90/100 on the detox scale.

-house md: I rewatched three episodes and the feelings it was able to unlock in the secret parts of my brain were such that they cannot be measured on a x/100 detox scale. i felt so insane I started rewatching breaking bad which had made me so ill in 2013 I promised myself not to rewatch it again. I rate this 🦐🦐🦐🦐 out of 💣💣💣💣

-breaking bad: this show has nothing in common with mash but the level of anger at Walt/hyper empathy for Jesse it is capable of making me feel creates the exact same physical sensation as watching mash. In some ways 100/100 and in other ways -1000/100

-better call saul: just distant enough from mash AND no all-consuming hatred for the protagonist. Lawyers? Check. The flounciest little fruity scam guy you could ever hope for as your protagonist? Check. Your OTP is canon and in cahoots? Check. Slow burn and fake married AU? Check. The only thing is that Jimmy sometimes in his gayer and flouncier moments reminded me of Hawk and the fact that his love interest is a blonde who seems straight laced but is boiling with rage and even scammier than him deep down did not help.....overall though a solid 90/100

[aprito]

hello <3 since i got these asks at the same time i decided to combine my thoughts on them in this post. yet another annoying sjw essay from yours truly on this blog 

before i get into these i think i need to preface why im like. i guess overly hyperfocused on a certain unproblematic base (same age au / platonic canon) for them and avoid the ped0philic content like the plague lol

tw for pedophilia ment, rape ment if that makes you squicky. ALSO THIS IS LONG AND RAMBLY

as i’ve mentioned a couple times already, ive been into the ship since i was 12, back when it was very very common to not only post untagged (nsfw) canonverse content of the two in writing and in drawing but also non con and the like, so you can imagine how bad my first impression online was. thinking back on it ...as a child i found it disturbing but didnt really register how problematic it really was?? (i know, but i also lived in the middle of nowhere and had no one explain this to me) 

skip to 2014 aka me coming back to naruto at 17ish and i had kinda become hyper aware of the fact that there was an increasing amount of people online who had come forward with explaining how fictional problematic content, mostly pedophilia, had been used to groom them into starting relationships with adullts. it was also a time where a lot of people didnt believe these victims, not registering how common it was for minors to be online friends with adults who had no boundaries and no qualms exposing them such content. not gonna get into my personal life here but i was lucky to not having gone through this myself. like... it kinda was my first time truly realising how fiction can EASILY be used to manipulate others irl (and yes i will not argue this, if you dont think fictional media can form and manipulate people’s opinions on attitudes, countries, cultures and virtues, pick up a book about the effects of propaganda media at least once please) 

i, being young, still liking the dynamic but not really the romance, would point this out here and there in the fandom and get into fights with grown adults in their mid 20s who assumed i automatically hated the ship(s) and tried to restrict their freedom of speech or whatever, heard everything from the “age of consent doesnt exist in naruto” to the “sasori looks like a child what does it matter” despite people clearly playing on him being older and experienced. it made me so upset that people were just consuming all this content uncritically and exposing children to it tbh?? not really just sos but a lot of minor/adult ships in naruto in general. and thats where i sat down and thought, i do not want to be a grown adult talking down to children that point out how unsafe the fandom is. theyre absolutely right in drawing these boundaries and calling out adults who defend the uncritical consumption and creation of this content. i do not want to consume or create content that predators could use to groom minors, and i absolutely do want to let younger people in fandom know that i am respecting their comfort zones and want them to have a safe and fun experience. after all, naruto is not an adult show and i think a lot of people forget that!!!! i am not perfect in that regard but its something that i, at the age of 23, am very passionate about and strive towards to.

and i guess thats where same age au was born for me and i have been sticking to it ever since. 

so finally we can move to the first question 

aside from the fact that we both dont like canon sos, i dont think it would work out even if i wasnt prejudiced to it anyways. in all honesty, 35 year old canon sasori is not a redeemable character to me, given the fact that he’s easily amongst the cruelest villains in naruto (torturing and killing and taxiderming people for his own fun personal gain, never for a goal that served anyone but himself. how do you redeem having over 300 corpses in your backpack that you felt absolutely no remorse for killing). sasori was legit one of the only cruel villains that didnt had someone else pull the strings, which sends a clear message on kishi’s part, who absolutely loves to redeem villains LOL.

being that old, he obviously had already been very manifested in what he believed in, even if it was shakey, to the point where the first crack in that world view (sakura and chiyo protecting each other) immediately had him give up on his life all together. that, in my opinion, is not a man who’s going to know what healthy relationships would look like, regardless of it being romantic or not. 35 year old sasori to me has the same appeal as an expired can of tuna and he’s probably very happy 6 feet under. he’s supposed to be a failed gaara in that sense that he had no one to look out for him and therefore was never going to experience anything but a bad ending in life. its fine that hes dead honestly, it wraps up his short character development the best IMO.

adding to that, seriously, sakura was obviously interested in knowing why he was that way, and called him out for being seriously fucked in the head, but it’s weird to me that people assume she had any interest in actively rehabilitating him, let alone starting a serious romantic relationship with him. sakura who’s not only very, uhm, immature and straight forward when it comes to her romantic viewpoints also, as a big bootlicker, wouldnt soil her standing in the village by starting anything with a disgraced and far too gone criminal like sasori. shipping that version of sasori with sakura intimately is still going to set her up for a huge power imbalance that would be difficult to handle imo, even if she was the one in the fight ultimately exerting her power over him. i would still look at it and think damn she deserves better than having to play therapist for man like that lol.

additionally, even if you ignored all of this, you cant really ignore that sasori had already known her as a child, and that had been his first and most impactful impression of her. i dont think that sasori would look at 35 year old sakura and see her as a grown woman and not the little green girl she was in the fight. plus, you easily fall into predatory comparison territory between the “childish” and “womanly” and i have seen way too often in fic just being boiled down to her now being fuckable. a lot of of ships do this and i would just like to remind yall thats it not normal for adults to want to start relationships with children they have seen grown up or known as a child when they themselves were fully grown adults. therefore, maybe if sakura hadnt met sasori before it would be less of a problem? but that also obviously defeats the point of the dynamic and the reason he died in the first place. so yeah, it sounds kind of doomed especially if you were to make it romantic. 

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE SECOND QUESTION

let me preface this that im not fundamentally against age gaps, even if im not super interested in it. after all, colorblind had a 5 yr age gap (with sakura being 21), even if, say, i wrote similar fics today i probably would make it smaller lol. i think it can be handled well if both parties have enough life experience to deal with it, and the author is cautious of where the age gap starts, i think a 10+ year age gap would be fine in a scenario where the younger party (i guess sakura) was at least 25-27ish, meaning she has completed most of her most formative life stages and probably had been in relationships before, meaning she would be able to handle it without having to fear a huge power imbalance. the older the younger party is the less the age gap is going to matter tbh .TsukiHoshino and AngelOfDeath10 both handle age gaps in their fics really well imo, so i do not mind reading about them.

unfortunately, a lot of people in this fandom think making sakura barely "”””legal””””” (18, not even 20 which is hilarious to me because the source material is obviously japanese) because they both cannot stand her being past her “prime years” of being young fertile and fuckable to much older men as well as thinking a 20 year old is automatically old enough to handle that type of relationship. ive seen a lot of unironic takes that believe it will absolve them of callout posts if they throw around age of consent and “shes 18 now suckers!!!” enough lmfao. absolutely hilarious. aging a minor up without aging the adult down seriously reeks of predatory “cant wait until youre 18″ narratives and thats why i find it similarly disturbing as straight up pedo shipping.

ultimately, sasosaku is and will always be a inherently problematic ship in canon, which is why i think it should always be handled a little more responsibly in fandom spaces, ignoring or outright excusing the main problem factor, which is sasori, isnt going to convince anyone that the dynamic in itself is well written and interesting enough to explore in aus, like giving sasori the redemption most of us wanted him to have by aging him down to a point in time where he was still realistically going to allow being positively influenced, similar to gaara. 

so really, what i think is well handled age gap and how most people handle age gap in the naruto fandom are two different worlds at times lol 

tl;dr

canon shippers have never been anything but gross when i was younger and i didnt wanna be like that, even if youre “smart”enough to differenate, actual creeps dont really care and might use your content to blur the lines, sasori isnt rly redeemable so romantic canonverse realistically wouldnt make much sense and is still iffy, age gaps are fine if they are handled well, but given that the dynamic doesnt really need the age gap to still work im not that invested on making that an essential part of my shipping experience.  

thank you for reading and hope this makes sense!

[thumb3l1n4]

Thoughts on chapter #293 (AKA a very long post)

I made a post when chapter #292 came out and one person replied with "I love how everyone thinks that villain stans automatically agree with and condone the villains' actions". I don't think myself to be a villain stan, although I do love Horikoshi's villains, since they're all amazingly interesting characters. There are villains that I feel very compassionate to: Shigaraki, Dabi, Twice, Spinner and Toga. And I could instantly relate to Stain's philosophy, while being totally turned off by his actions. I don't think villain stans condone the violent actions of their favorite characters, I'm sorry if my previous post made people believe I do. But from the most recent releases I gathered that there is maybe a small fraction of villain stans that aren't really seeing the intricacies of the full picture. I don't mean this in a bad way: this is definitely the villains' time to shine and I know we were all waiting for the big Dabi-Endeavor showdown since theories were thrown around, so it's normal to be hyper-focused in what our favorite character is doing or what's happening with them. It's easy to forget that there are times and places where it's safe to show our compassion. I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda annoyed that some villain stans seem to want the heroes to show compassion to Dabi right now, while they're in the middle of a battle that would decide the sorts of their society. Thanks to Dabi's speech, the civilian's faith in their "picture-perfect" system is crumbling (well, I hope so, because their society sucks on so many levels) and Best Jeanist, who was bashed for absolutely no reason all over Twitter last week, before the official translation was out, knew that that was Dabi's intention all along. Tōya could have told his own story right after Stain's video came out, if he so wanted. He chose to join the League, instead, because as we know now, he might have thought that he would have a better chance to kill Shōto, that way. I can't blame Tōya AT ALL for wanting and needing to see Endeavor, finally, rightfully, punished. However, Dabi throwing the compassion card around in the middle of a life-and-death situation (a situation where his main end-goal is to hurt people), is just peak manipulation...

... Which is awesome for a villain!

It's less awesome if you're standing on the Heroes' side and you're hearing about all the years of abuse that a colleague of yours put his family through, for the first time. I want to note that not a single Hero, till now, has said that they do not believe Dabi (not that I recall, at least). I saw one comment on Tumblr saying they didn't like that Best Jeanist used the word "dirty laundry", the chapter before, but I don't think the Hero said it in disrespect. I think it had more to do with Dabi's intentions behind revealing his truth, than Best Jeanist not believing him, or worse, dismissing him as a victim. Dabi's truth was called "dirty laundry" because Tōya didn't use it to seek justice, for himself and his family, but rather to get revenge on everyone, to create chaos and to excuse his own criminal actions. It's a truth tainted by hatred, not in the sense that fans of the manga and the Heroes should just forget about it: his past and pain are very, very real and Dabi and the rest of the villains need help. But the Heroes cannot take the time to feel sorry for their enemies, right at this moment, because if they do, that's the end. That's kinda what happened between Toga and Uraraka: she needs to stop Toga because while hurting people might come natural to the villain, that's not a healthy way to live. Toga didn't ask to be the way she is, and as a Hero, it should be Uraraka's job to give her the chance to get the treatment she didn't get as a child, that would teach Toga how to deal with her natural urges in a way that is not harmful to anyone. Mind you, Toga didn't seem to like the idea of conforming herself to anyone else's expectations, so she might not want the therapy. Uraraka would still need to give her all to stop the villain, no matter how sorry she actually feels inside for her.

If the villains win, the Heroes will not be able to rectify their society. Only after this fight ends and villains are taken into custody, it would be safe for the Heroes to show their honest reactions to Dabi's revelation. Only then we can hope to see them caring for the villains' health and their truths and possibly demand that Endeavor turns himself in (I actually want him to do so on his own, without external input). The Heroes aren't being heartless, if that's what some villain stans are thinking. They simply do no have the luxury to let Dabi's words manipulate them into feeling bad for him during a fight, because innocent people's lives are at stake here and just because Tōya had a horrible childhood, it doesn't mean that he's gonna care and let those innocent people be. Dabi wants to see the WHOLE world burn.

Onto Deku, now, the second character in two weeks accused by some, of being an abuse apologist.

He's the first character EVER to confront Endeavor on his treatment of Shōto, after seeing how his own classmate was spiralling and hurting himself, because Shōto didn't want to use HIS OWN Quirk to prevent himself from quite literally freeze to death, all because of Endeavor's abuse.

Deku has always wanted to follow All Might's steps and like All Might, he wishes to be able to save everyone in need. Toshinori, however, already told him that that's not realistic and Deku accepted the fact that he can only save the people in need that he's able to reach and as we saw with Shōto, Kota and Eri, he's ready to lay out his own life and break every single bone in his body to do so. He's so determined to save people, even against the worst of odds, that he can twist fate. I think it's exactly this determination of his that made him speak out this time, not only for Shōto, but for Endeavor, too. Do I like that Deku cares? Yes, I'm glad that people like Deku exist, people that genuinely care and wish and pray for criminals to regret what they've done so they can have a chance to right their wrongs and become a better person. Do I think Deku would stop Endeavor from turning himself in or defend Endeavor in front of the other Heroes so they don't take him away and bring him to justice? I might be wrong, Horikoshi can still make a fool out of me, but I don't think so. Deku knows the years of abuse are there and they will never go away. Deku is also the guy who told off Natsuo for trying to make Shōto feel resentful towards their father, when Shōto was somewhat past that and only wanted to heal. Deku recognized that the siblings have all different ways to deal with trauma and told Natsuo that his feelings are valid, but he can't push them onto Shōto, because Shōto's feelings on the matter are just as valid, even if they don't align with those of his big brother.

Just like villain stans can feel compassion towards Dabi because of his past, while being repulsed by his criminal actions in the present, Deku can feel repulsed by Endeavor's abuse of his own family and still see that a part of him (no matter how little it is) wishes to be a better human being. Deku didn't say that Endeavor should be automatically forgiven for his past actions, no one can deny that the abuse still has serious repercussions for every Todoroki involved (yes. EVERY). But the thing with Deku is that once he's seen this tiny, barely-even-there, light in you, he will fight to save you. I don't think that the people calling Deku an abuse apologist are giving his intuition or insight enough credit.

Dabi's not Endeavor: this means that Deku hasn't seen anything in this fight that might hint to Tōya wanting to be saved. Again, the same thing happened between Toga and Uraraka. And sadly, even Twice and Hawks (Hawks miscalculated sooo bad there). It's unfortunate that phrases like "you can only save someone if they want to be saved" and "you cannot help someone who refuses to be helped" still apply to this world, but that's the ugly truth and I'm sure that to someone like Deku that's a very hard and bitter pill to swallow. Endeavor said he wants to right his wrongs: in my opinion, he's still got a lot of work to do, since he should have really started it all off by being honest to everyone about his actions and let justice do its course. During this battle I'm forced to recognize (like Deku does) that Endeavor might actually be able to reedem himself, after actually atoning for his crimes. I cannot say the same for Dabi, because he doesn't want to atone for the bad things he has done. I didn't see Deku's speech as him excusing Endeavor's abuse to his victim or conceding the point to Tōya, that Heroes don't care about villains. I saw it as Deku telling Dabi to stop using his own abuse as an excuse to hurt other victims (Shōto, Natsuo, Fuyumi and Rei) because as harsh as it sounds, Tōya can't demand compassion for his own pain while being uncapable of showing compassion to his own little brother. Maybe Tōya doesn't actually know everything that Shōto has suffered through, maybe he thinks that his little brother got lucky with his Quirk and didn't have it as bad as he did. That's not his place to say. Dabi is making a contest out of their family's pain, trying to declare which Todoroki got it worse (clearly believing that it's him and that that allows him to do whatever he wants to, now), so I reiterate: he can't ask for compassion in the middle of the battle and the Heroes are actually doing the right thing, not letting themselves being manipulated like that and basically forfeiting the fight.

AFTER this arc ends, I truly hope to see the Heroes showing their compassion for the villains. I hope they would get rid of that obnoxious Hero Ranking and that the society would stop festering the idea that only certain Quirks and their users are strong and valuable and deserving of a voice. I hope they could change their world so that people like Tenko, Tōya, Jin, Himiko and Shuichi are able to ask for help AND BE HELPED before it is too late.

[thinkingbookthoughts]

Strange the Dreamer, post read thoughts.

I just finished it last night, and hoo boy was it a read. This is the first book I’ve read by Laini Taylor, and it’s got me wanting to read more. I’m starting Muse of Nightmares tonight or tomorrow, and maybe after that the Daughters of Smoke and Bone trilogy. Anyway, [spoilers probably]:

First off, I don’t care for fantasy. I tend to have little patience for made up words (yes, I know all words are made up, you know what I mean) and hyper detailed world building. I enjoy the fantastical, but fantasy as a genre generally bores me to tears. I don’t want to read about fake cultures when I could be learning about real ones. That’s personal taste, whatever. Taylor however, writes it almost exactly the way I want to read it. She dips occasionally into exposition dumps, but I find it nowhere near as tiresome as the typical Tolkienesque approach. Even then, I’m interested. She’s created such a wonderful world that I want to know whatever she’s going to give me, and uncovering some new detail feels like a treat, not a slog. My eyes still glaze over at all the made up words and politics, but everything else makes up for it.

What keeps this book interesting to me is definitely not the plot though. I have no major issues with it, it’s fine, whatever. But it falls into the category of legendary fantasy tale that generally I have no interest in. Hero’s journey and all that. I find it boring. Again, personal taste, whatever. I tend to enjoy character driven more than plot driven anyway, and this book is absolutely character driven. The story itself is so simple I might even go so far as to call it formulaic, but the people who carry it are something else. When their hearts break, so does yours. I won’t lie, she does go for some easy gut punches, but they do still feel earned and in their place. She’s not afraid to let you dislike her heroes. Except maybe Lazlo, I’ll talk more about him later (though I feel like the sequel may challenge him more). Most of the people that we grow to like are complicated. They’ve done terrible things, or harbor toxic beliefs, but they’re also justified to a certain extent. And to what extent that is, is left up to you.

She does kind of beat you over the head with her themes, but I mean, this is technically YA. It’s not terribly clumsy, you just find yourself wanting to go, “OK I get it! Move on!” every once in a while. But that’s a hard line to toe as a writer, and as far as shortcomings go, it’s really not that big of a deal. I’m willing to forgive it, anyway. Sometimes you can feel when the “correct” answer is coming through, usually because Lazlo is taking a hard line moral stance, but it never felt so overwhelming to me that it seemed like right and wrong were being truly dictated. It’s not perfect, and writers are allowed to have opinions, so eh.

In general, I’m a big fan of her writing style. I get the feeling the novelty would wear thin if I read all of her books back to back, so I won’t lmao, but from the one I’ve read I love it. She has issues with repetition to the point where it crosses from emphasis to unnecessary and redundant pretty often, but god I am a simp for flowery prose, so I will forgive it. If I had to describe the way she writes to someone who is deciding whether or not to read it, I’d say that she writes like those verbose, rich paragraphs you find on tumblr. You know, where someone has had a few nice sentences flow into their head, but they aren’t going to expand on it so they post it as is, without the context that might make it anything more than pretty words. (No shade, but... look they’re not exactly high art, ok?) Except that she’s actually written the book. And I find it a very pleasurable experience. Like I said, I am a simp for all things purple. If you’re not, you’ll probably hate it.

It can, at times, absolutely feel indulgent, but in a way the whole book is. I mean the fantastical elements of this story really go hard. She’s not really attempting realism here. Grounded (enough), sure, but definitely not realistic. And it’s fine by me. I’m willing to give a story a lot of passes if I feel like the writer has earned them in other ways. I don’t care if every little detail is what would really happen. Not at all, actually. If I wanted realism I’d go outside. I’m reading a book, not a newspaper.

One example is what I saw described as the “insta-love” between Lazlo and Sarai. Personally, I had no issues with it. It felt earned and in place in the context of the story. It makes sense for the two characters, both of whom are young and have felt painfully isolated for their entire lives. And then in walks someone with a mutual attraction, who can interact with them and appreciate them in a way no one else ever has. Yeah of course they fall in love. Even if the relationship wouldn’t have worked out long term, it makes total sense that one would have started. And as for how quickly it happened, eh. They literally met in a dream, what do you want?

There are plenty of other crimes that I’m sure I would defend, but here’s one I won’t. Thyon Nero. He is so criminally underutilized in this story, I question his place in it at all. Which is a goddamn shame because I love me a petty bitch like Thyon. It feels like he’s all wasted potential. In a sea of interesting, well drawn characters, he’s flat as Saskatchewan. Unforgivable. If it had been another character, fine. But Thyon? Come on! We spend enough time with him that he should feel more interesting, but he just doesn’t. There’s an attempt to give him a tragic backstory and whatever, but it’s so cliche (rich pretty boy with an abusive family behind the scenes controlling him and making him feel like a pawn in their game. Snarky on the outside, hurting on the inside, blah blah you’ve heard it a million times.) that I need more! You can’t just give me a scene of him getting whipped by his shitty dad, toss off a sentence about him wanting to free from his family’s exploitation, and then dust your hands and call it a day. UGH. He honestly serves as little more than an occasionally funny, almost interesting character foil for Lazlo. He exists to show you what a good boy Lazlo is. And that’s it. They aren’t even proper enemies. How much they dislike each other in any given scene is directly inverse to how much the plot needs them to get along in that moment. Before they’ve even reached the city Thyon is little more than a mild inconvenience. So why set him up as this scary antagonist??? I’m really hoping the second expands on him. I need more. You cannot dangle a funny bitch like him in front of my face and then do nothing with him! RUDE.

Ok, now Lazlo, I said I’d talk about him. Here we are. Lazlo Lazlo Lazlo. First of all, hate his name. That’s a nothing issue, I just had to say it. Second, he’s kinda lame, huh? I wouldn’t say that he’s underdeveloped, I feel like I have a much better idea of who he is than I do Thyon, it’s just that his development isn’t that interesting. He very much feels like a protagonistTM. He’s passionate and funny, driven and like... always in the right on moral issues. He’s the immediately accepted outsider who’s also able to bring a new, but more importantly, morally correct perspective on their issues. He’s charming, but humble, shy but not enough to actually impede social interaction. I don’t hate him, I’d probably hang out with him if I was on that journey (assuming I wasn’t following Thyon around like the simp I am). He’s just that kind of perfectly imperfect character. His flaws only make him more likeable, he’s never outright wrong about anything. I’ll say it, Lazlo is a Mary Sue.

Lazlo is a Mary Sue and Thyon was wasted on his basic ass. And that’s that on that.

I will let that (correct) declaration wrap this up. It’s way too long already. Thank god not a single person on earth reads these. Small miracles.

[starshipviolet]

A MESSY LOVELESS REVIEW

I finally finished Loveless so I can follow Alice Oseman without fear of spoilers god I missed them?? It’s been over a month since I stopped following her it felt so wrong.

But here’s some Loveless thoughts! (It’s a tiny bit critical heads up if you’re not up for that.) I might edit this up into a formal review for like goodreads or something, but for right now the rambly bulletpoints just kinda work with how my brain works.

ALSO THIS INCLUDES SPOILERS

I have... let’s just say slightly unrealistic expectations from Alice Oseman novels sometimes, probably bc Radio Silence was just like, everything to me, like a major hyper fixation, it hung the stars, etc. and I related so hard to it when I read it, and her other books are fairly different than that and I’m not as quick to relate to them.

So I came into this book super excited, I live in the US and it took forever to ship (and during that time I had to unfollow Alice, and block the osemanverse tag bc spoilers, god, these are signs of the impending apocalypse.)

Overly dramatic first world problems aside, as I kept reading I was not like... overly excited about the first few sections?

I really liked the first first part, with the introduction of Pip and their texting, although Pip pressuring her to kiss Tommy was Not Fun In Many Ways. I thought Jason was sweet though and I liked the platonic relationships being set up, also the sleepover movies was a cute kinda realistic detail to throw in.

It was cool that they were just kinda dorks? (I love them, and so am I, but like. They’re such dorks. I don’t care that Jason’s trying to reframe himself as some sort of rowing jock, he is.) Like they had all their in jokes and sleepover nights and just kinda like low key hanging out which was nice bc there’s a lot of focus on like clubs and partying in YA and Alice’s books and it was cool to affirm, like “hey look, still happy without that.”

Tommy trying to kiss her was so painful but it also meant a lot to me that there was the “wait what I’ve just been lying to myself about liking him what does that mean” bc you know, lesbian solidarity vibes.

So you get to Durham, and it just... wasn’t as exciting as I hoped for the first chunk? Like I was mostly excited for enemies to lovers with Pip and Rooney but I forgot that means that they have to be horribly annoying to each other at first and I didn’t like Rooney right away.

This is where I should probably give a Big Huge Note that just because something made me uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s bad writing or that it doesn’t serve a purpose. Georgia’s social pressure to conform to heteronormative ideas of romance is a reality so many people face. Rooney needed to have flaws at first so we could see character development.

Bottom line is, for me it was uncomfortable to read parts and I didn’t start truly loving the book until probably after she broke up with Jason. Their relationship was just so terrible. Again, do I know it serves a purpose? Yes. Did it enhance my personal entertainment of the novel? Absolutely not.

That being said, there were some good Pip/Rooney moments, and as basically a theatre kid the Shakespeare Society club meant a lot to me and I thought it was a good inclusion and also JESUS I thought I was gonna freaking die from all the tension in Pip and Rooney’s Beatrice and Bertrand performance. Wow.

Also Sunil!! I love them! I did think it was slightly weird that he was only referred to with he/him pronouns when they use he/they, but I’m not nonbinary so I’ll look out for what other ppl are thinking about that. It was so cool to have him there though, bc those kids needed some guidance and he needed some time to just have fun so, win win! We are so lucky for Sunil, we don’t deserve him.

Also I need to know everything about Jess bc I have a suspicion we may be the same person. Except I’m not in orchestra. Or British. Or aromantic bisexual. Whatever. She just seems awesome! And I would’ve loved to hear some wisdom from a slightly older queer woman, I guess.

So! Jumping now to some criticisms, I feel like there’s a bunch of parts where Georgia is explaining her feelings, or explaining someone else’s motivations or actions, and it didn’t do a lot for me, I wish there was more like show don’t tell.

There were some points when the writing was genuinely so good, like Pip’s dialouge was always fantastic, especially towards the end with Georgia, it showed off their friendship in a way I really would’ve loved to see more of. Alice’s imagery and character descriptions, especially outfit descriptions had some really good moments, like the main example I think about is the ball because that was everything for me until it wasn’t.

I just really did not enjoy Rooney kissing Georgia, it was such a painful scene and even more than my discomfort, it was just trope-y, you could tell that Pip would catch them and it didn’t feel necessary. I think they could’ve structured it where Pip is just mad about what happened to Jason and it would’ve been better.

But the outfit descriptions! And the bouncy castle game! And the decorations! It was definitely one of my favorite scenes.

I also loved that Alice included Ellis, just like, hell yeah it was so good especially the part where she talks about how there’s magic and love in painting and friends and living and everything.

Georgia and Rooney’s relationship toward the end made me SO emotional and I cried at the part where Georgia was talking about how she’s afraid her friends will leave her and Rooney comforts her.

And the big platonic gestures were fantastic, I knew that they would happen but I was worried it would be too cliche but it was the perfect amount of dorky and I loved it.

This book made me so happy and taught me a lot and I can only hope it will do the same for others and Alice will continue creating brilliant content. If you got this far, gee thanks friend, you have commitment. *Gives you friendship flowers*

[lizstaysinneverland]

FFXV Popband!AU Headcanons

I actually had started a fanfic of this started a few years ago when FFXV first came out but I know I’ll never finish it, so I thought why not make it into a headcanon post. I originally went with a boyband but I kinda didn’t think anyone of the boys would be a drummer. Also, please see the end notes for more information.

This is a bit long so I put it under “read more”.

Prompto is the lead singer of the band. He has the sweet flower boy image. Is the one with the most stage fright but once the music turns on, he just forgets about him being on stage and gets really into it. He is super shy when meeting his fans but they love him even more for that. He gets scolded by Luna and Ardyn a lot because he tends to reveal too much in interviews but he can’t help it, he just gets so excited and wants to share what they are working on and how they live and so forth.

Noctis is the backup singer and guitarist. He has the brooding pretty boy image. But he is actually just as nervous (but hides it way better than Prompto) when he meets his fans and is super sweet and kind to them. He lets the others do the talking in interviews, Luna is trying to motivate him to become more proactive but to no avail. He actually trains a lot by himself and puts a lot of effort into every performance. Sometimes clashes with Gladiolus due to Noctis sometimes rather childish attitude and laziness.

Ignis is the keyboardist and songwriter. He has the cold prince image. He also functions as the intermediator whenever Luna isn’t there to stop the fights. He always knows what to say to the fans and is super happy for the love they receive by their fans, that’s why fan meetings are one of his favourite things about this job. He is usually the one calming the others down in interviews when they get too excited and he always has a perfect answer to everything. Despite his usual stoic and sometimes rather calculating demeanor, his songs are full of emotion, he can express his feelings the best in his writings.

Gladiolus is the bassist. He has the bad boy image. His temperament gets him in trouble with paparazzi's sometimes, much to Gentiana’s annoyance. He’s very flirty with his fangirls but treats them with respect, so even if the magazine call him a “fuckboy” his fans don’t cease to fangirl over him and melt whenever he smiles at them. He is quite smart  and knows how to talk his way out of uncomfortable interview questions. He usually practices with the whole band, practicing alone makes him bored after a short time and he feels he improves faster when he hears himself out of tune with the other members.

Cindy is the drummer. She initially wasn’t part of the band when they were still a garage band, but their drummer left after a feud. They were on the verge of signing the contract with the Izunia Music Group record label, so they needed a drummer. Cindy has been a childhood friend of Prompto and Noctis so they kinda roped her into it last minute. But she actually enjoys it and it allows her to spend a lot of money on cars, so whenever she doesn’t practice with the band she is fixing old cars and pimps them up into really cool cars or helps out her grandad at his car repair shop. She has a very big fanbase despite “just” being the drummer. She’s the one who is mostly active on social media.

Iris is the stylist of the band. She is always super hyper and gushing about how great they look with her clothing choices. She also hypes the members up before the big show, to help them feel confident on stage. She always manages to find the perfect clothing for any kind of event, be it the Music Awards or some themed event. They never look bad. Iris also introduces the members to all the memes and newest inside jokes in the band fandom. As she is the sister of Gladiolus, she tags along to the events and such as well and makes sure they look good all night.

Lunafreya is the manager. Despite her quite young age she is one of the best. She helps the band members relax before any major performance and makes sure they are always hydrated and giving their best. She tries to fulfill the wishes of the members, but in turn she expects a lot from them. She might usually be gentle but if anyone of the band pisses her off because they think it’s okay to be lazy or don’t reflect on their behavior or break the rules, she will scold them quite harshly. She has an exceptional organizational talent and that shows in how she schedules everything and makes things work despite all odds.

Ardyn is the CEO of the Izunia Music Group. While the band members won’t see him often, if he does come by to check on things, absolutely everyone is on edge because you don’t piss off THE Ardyn Izunia and you certainly don’t make mistakes. He loves his little charm aka Lunafreya for her hardworking nature and finding the band and making them into popstars. He lets her do most of the management but if she can’t handle something (there can be quite some annoying and snobbish business partners) he will handle it and she can be sure everything will work. He makes the impossible possible. He is the creepy dude that you don’t expect to be rich because of his poor fashion taste but is somehow really charming and attracts a lot of people.

Ravus is the director for the music videos and he is such a perfectionist to the point that he will make them do a scene again because Noctis face should have been turned to the side a teeny tiny bit more, like by 5 degrees. Ravus often tends to bicker with Noctis and Ravus as he feels like they don’t take his commands seriously. Much to Lunafreya’s and Ignis’ annoyance. But you can bet that the music video will turn out incredible well, almost like an art masterpiece. Ravus is quite creative and that shows in all his work.

Gentiana is the head of the marketing department at Izunia Music Group and works a lot with Lunafreya to make sure she promotes the bands correctly. Sometimes she even stops by when Noctis & others are in the middle of a photoshoot or music video shoot just to see how she can implement things into their marketing campaign. She never actually tells them how she promotes the band, so they usually are surprised when they suddenly find their face plastered on a bus or see a commercial of them on TV. But they are never disappointed. She knows what she is doing and enjoys gushing to Lunafreya about all her ideas.

Aranea is the photographer. She seemed a bit harsh at first so they dreaded doing photoshoots with her but once they warmed up to her after they did a good job, they realized she’s just a hard worker and wants the models to be amazed by the photos she took. She can easily lose track of time when she is concentrated on taking pictures of her models and seems to have an endless amount of ideas. But she lets the band members run wild with their own imagination as well, so she can get authentic photos of them for special fan events.

End notes:

JFC finally finished it, this has been on my draft for a long time because I always forgot about it or had no time to sit down and write it all.

I know this isn’t as realistic as it could be, but I didn’t want it to be too realistic, to me it was more fun making them be THE music band everyone wants and so some characters might come off as “Mary Sue” like and some jobs might not be exactly the same as in real life. I apologize for that.

I took a bit of inspiration from Korean bands.

I did choose to use Ardyn Izunia instead of Lucis Caelum because I didn’t wanted them to be related in this fanfic as I didn’t plan to make him appear often.

[momoyomaki]

Could Five realistically be autistic based solely on what we see on the show?

I stumbled across the theory that Five is autistic, and as someone with autism I find that very interesting. I’m not yet convinced he does have autism, but I’m not convinced he doesn’t either.

So let’s take this apart. :cracks knuckles:

First off, a couple things to keep in mind:

-No two autistic people are exactly the same.

-I am drawing on my own experience living with autism, and what I’ve witnessed from my sister and the kids I work with.

-Disabilities that affect the brain overlap. Many different things can affect the same areas of the brain, and we just categorize things for ease of assigning coping mechanisms. For example, if you were to take a brain scan of my brother who has PTSD, my sister who has brain damage from childhood trauma, and myself with autism, the scans would look very similar.

-Whether or not Five has autism, he most definitely has PTSD.

-Please chime in with your own theories and experiences, I’d love to open this TED talk up.

Ok here we go:

Klaus calls Five addicted to the apocalypse and he’s not wrong. Through an autistic lens, obsessing and hyper-fixating is like our bread and butter. My hyper-fixations have driven me to all sorts of extremes, like staying up for 24 hours, and giving myself heatstroke by hyper-fixating while outside. Whether Five is autistic or not he can obviously relate. His obsession with stopping the apocalypse drives him for 40+ years. He carries an eyeball around the entire time. His fixation on returning to his family keeps him going through his career as a hitman, something he makes clear he didn’t enjoy. On that note, he spent an episode walking around with a goddamn bullet wound. Talk about mind over matter, and also another tick in the hyper-fixation column. Again, when he checks on Klaus after he time travels to the Vietnam War, he’s clearly concerned for him, but gets sidetracked once again by his need to stop the apocalypse. Which is honestly valid, I mean, it’s the apocalypse.

Dolores. Anybody whose seen a decent therapist will probably have been told “yeah I know it sounds crazy, but try talking to yourself.” Being your own sounding board is a very healthy thing believe it or not, and Five uses Dolores for this purpose. Those with autism in my experience have crazy good imaginations. If I try hard enough I can fabricate fake memories to the point where I can’t quite remember it’s not true. I think this has a lot to do with the way autism thinks in pictures. Imaginary friend anyone? So Five finding Dolores and talking with her as if she were real for so long that he actually sees and hears her as a person? Totally believable and something I could see having happened to myself under the right circumstances. That being said, I feel he’s probably perfectly aware that she is, in fact, a mannequin. Dolores can be seen as a sign of Five having snapped or as a brilliant way of keeping his sanity while isolated for decades.

Coffee. Five’s caffeine addiction is probably not related to autism in anyway whatsoever, but boy can I relate. Coffee is my holy grail because it calms my personal blend of brain chemicals down enough for me to focus on things like driving. Of course that’s my ADHD talking. It’s not uncommon for those with autism to also have ADHD, but that’s a whole other post. So let’s just say Five’s relatable and leave it at that.

Sarcasm and Snark. Possibly the most common coping mechanism ever for any problem in existence. Probably just a part of Five’s glorious personality, but let’s say he developed it the way I did. As a way of taking on the world, sarcasm makes everything more bearable. It’s also a form of humor and nothing is as good as humor to cover social missteps. It takes you from being a weird outcast to being the Funny/Sarcastic Friend™️.

Five and routine. The first thing Five does when returning to the past is make his signature sandwich. Here he is, back with his family after all this time, and he doesn’t allow himself to bask in that, because the count down to the apocalypse has started. There’s no way he isn’t thrown off though, come on. 13 years old again with his family alive. When feeling shaken, most people with autism will absolutely fall back into routines even if they’re old ones. And who wants to bet he drove past at least one other perfectly serviceable shop with coffee on his way to Griddy’s and ignored them in favour of familiarity? And of course he works to get Dolores back right off the bat. When upset over the lab getting blown up he returns to what we can assume was home during the apocalypse; the library.

Five and his ability to take people at face value despite his overactive paranoia. From my experience working with those with autism, autistic people are some of the most forgiving people you will ever meet. This doesn’t have to come from a place of kindness. It’s more our black and white nature. Something used to be this way, and now it’s that way. We tend to just accept it where others might have a million questions. This goes hand in hand with our people sense. Oh we suck at reading social cues, but our instincts in regards to a persons trustworthiness are generally bang on. You see this in Five’s chat with Hazel. He doesn’t seem to have a problem buying what Hazel’s selling. Same with Klaus, who he acknowledges more then his other siblings even if it’s in a snarky manner. (He didn’t shoot Klaus down when he talked about conjuring their dad unlike Luther, and despite his angry reaction he took Klaus’ point about being addicted to the apocalypse seriously.) He gets angry when Vanya doesn’t believe him about the apocalypse but when it becomes clear that her disbelief is not malicious he doesn’t take it out on her. In contrast he doesn’t buy the Handler’s bullshit. To sum it up, Five is a practical people person, with good instincts but an outdated copy of Social Cues for Dummies. Is this autism or an effect of 40+ years alone? Both?

Five, the pragmatist. As the Handler says, Five is a first rate pragmatist which fits how a lot of those on the spectrum are very blunt, black and white thinkers. Where my family can debate politics for hours, my opinion is always the straightest path to whatever outcome I’m arguing for.

Five and clothes. Those on the spectrum tend to be hypersensitive, and clothing can be a Thing™️ for us. Certain materials feel like they're made of needles as opposed to just itchy, jeans are too tight, turtlenecks feel like a noose, etc. This is common, but sometimes it’s less about comfy sweatpants and more about familiarity. I have an undercut and if I don’t have time to get it shaved at the usual point, I get panicky. My hair feels slightly different, it looks slightly different, and it all just doesn't feel right. Five grew up wearing the academy uniform, and while he didn’t have the luxury of a suit and tie in the apocalypse, wearing a suit was clearly important to him during his time with the Commission. Even the Handler took notice, and gifted him a suit. And the second thing he does after making a sandwich in the past is find a suit that fits him. Ok, he didn’t have any options, but he didn’t have to wear the whole outfit. He could have mixed and matched. He could have stolen something from the department store. But no, he’s got to wear a suit jacket and tie. He even grabbed his tie off the guy he strangled at Griddy’s before he took care of the last dude. (Badass power move btw.) So I find it believable that the uniform was partially about appearances and partially about Five’s comfort zone, physically speaking.

(But wait, I hear you say, how can you throw in hypersensitivity when back up this post you claimed Five could have ignored his bullet wound via hyper-fixation? Here’s the thing, hyper-fixation basically mutes the notifications our bodies send us. We can be uncontrollably hypersensitive and still not clue into our bodies screaming at us while we fixate on something. But boy, we sure notice when we snap out of it.)

Five is all or nothing, ride or die. Oh boy is he ever. And most autistic people are too. We put our all into everything we do. Doesn’t always translate to doing it well, but we definitely give it our all. (In fact, we tend to over do things and need some serious recouping time after.) This can cover things already in the hyper-fixation section, like his obsession with the apocalypse. But going all in for something is different from the magnetic pull of hyper-fixation. It’s a conscious decision for one thing. The biggest example for Five is his commitment to his family. The Hargreeves are a dysfunctional family, and Five didn’t escape this by jumping to the future. He’s hardly the perfect brother but he’s the most invested in his siblings nonetheless. He became a killer for them, threw morals out the window for the slim chance he might be able to save them. And as is established pretty quickly, he put his all into being a hitman, becoming the best there ever was. That fight scene in the diner speaks for itself. And slicing up his own arm to get at the tracker? Well, it’s pretty clear that when Five commits to something he doesn’t mess around.

Five and math. Here we hit a stereotype about autistic people and their ‘special interests.’ Yeah, it’s really common, but what most people don’t know is that the majority of those on the spectrum are not math geniuses, or geniuses of any other kind. My sister’s ‘special interest’ is still relatively useful, being science, but she’s not a genius. Mine is ‘stories.’ Books, movies, theatre, music, etc. I can devour fiction forever. It’s basically useless to society though, because I’m picky af. But okay, Five fits the stereotype and is a math genius, or at least where it applies to time travel. We see this in the flashback already. Ok, time travelling didn’t work out as he’d hoped, but he managed it at 13 when even Reginald didn’t think he could. This makes me think that his tendency to spend hours working out equations didn’t start in the apocalypse.

Does Five stim? If so, we don’t really see it. That doesn’t rule out autism though, because, well, it’s a spectrum. I only stimmed as a toddler. Some people don’t stim at all.

Vanya. Another theory I’ve seen thrown around is that Vanya is autistic. I’m not going to address that here, but I do want to say that if she is, that wouldn't affect whether or not Five is autistic. Autism is not personality after all, and they are very different people. Again, autism is a spectrum and nobody displays all the same traits. If you’re thinking it would be unrealistic for Reginald. To have adopted two kids with autism, think again. That one autistic sister of mine? Adopted as a baby before we had any idea that she was a mini me.

Five doesn’t appear obviously autistic. What most people don’t realize is that autism is at the end of the day an invisible disability. Most people will know someone at some point on the spectrum and never even realize it. Because sure, sometimes you’ll see us rocking under the table or otherwise displaying what movies have stereotyped as autistic behaviour, but most of the time you won’t notice. We’re the slightly overly bright cashier at Walmart, the quiet bookworm at school, your favourite author that writes emotions so well, the person at comic con who can recite their favourite movie line for line, that kid that gets along best with those older or younger then them. If Five is autistic we may never know, because he’s perfectly functional, but that's hardly and argument against autism either.

And finally; people relate. Nobody knows autism better then those with autism themselves, so I’m inclined to take all the posts I’ve seen about Autistic!Five as a pretty big point on the autism column.

To summarize; none of these points taken alone indicate autism, but together well.... it’s an option at least.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk, I will now open the stage to audience input before this monster grows any longer.

[enbyworth]

What's so interesting about the DR fandom is that they're so picky about who they "support" and who they don't roughly all have the same response. "I like how they were written, I was drawn to them, I like their backstory and find them interesting" or "I hate how they were written, I ignored the backstory because I don't care, and I find them boring."

For example, people who like

Hiyoko.

They like her because they dug into the situation she's in and know why she behaves the way she does. They forgive her. Most others? Hate Hiyoko for her attitude (regardless) and find her character type annoying.

Both of these? Valid opinions.

Mikan.

Some people like Mikan because of her struggles, because of what she's been through and why she behaves the way she does now. They pity her and wish for her to be better. Others? They dislike how much she cries, how uncomfortable situations with her can be, how fan service-y she is by her clumsy trait.

Both of these? Valid opinions.

Teruteru.

Most people dislike him because of how hyper sexual and inappropriate he is, how he's the wolf in sheep's clothing, the one thrown under the bus because SOMEONE has to be pervy for the jokes right? Right? Others? They like him because there was an interesting glimpse of his backstory, he felt rather unique with his design and his vague story and he was actually rather talented! So they focus on that side of him.

Both of these? Valid opinions.

Junko fuckin Enoshima

Literally, I think this one is self explanatory and imo I think most people like her for her iconic design rather than her as a person (as she literally is like the Most Cosplayed Character even to people not even into Danganronpa. Everyone has seen Junko.)

But if you like her just because she's fucking chaotic or you think she's a good antagonist, or you think shes obnoxious and annoying and don't agree with her character at all; or you just know her from cosplays.

All of that is valid.

Danganronpa isn't the best. It's story isn't the absolute best, the art style isn't the best; it has many many flaws.

But it has such a wide array of characters with their own stories and their own looks and caricatures. There's a lot to explore, with their personalities and backgrounds.

There's too many characters for people to be stuck up about only liking the purest of characters. (Its Danganronpa. 90% do bad things. For survival or otherwise. They're not peachy perfect people. Even Taka has done some regretful things and he's meant to be the Moral Compass.)

Everyone has widely different opinions, everyone had their own takes, their own views and not everyone is going to agree. And that's life!

But what's so selfish and childish is to bully and belittle others over a video game character.

Have fun. Stop holding such a high standard on fictional shit. Not everything has to be realistically viewed.

[dogsithea]

Do you have any weird/overly specific AU ideas that you think would work really well for your OTPs

LMAO I absolutely do the the point where I am basically just writing original fiction and slapping character names over it...but I refuse to stop <3

1: Lysithea a young prodigy biotech engineer who works for the government is super lonely and isolated and builds herself a hyper realistic AI (aka Annette) based on the top secret research she's conducting. Sort of similar bubblegum sinister vibe to the anime Wonder Egg Priority's Frill storyline, but the plots definitely diverge (bc the WEP plot is uh...bad!) Hubert and Linhardt star Lysithea's co-workers who find out about this Super Illegal thing she's done and are taken along for the ride as all three of them inevitably fall a little bit love with Annette (but like ultimately it's a Lysithea/Annette fic). The themes would mainly center around what it means to be human, what it means to prioritize humanity, and if something is exactly like a human but not quite -- does that really matter?

2: The manaketes (and linhardt bc I think it's fun when he's like their distant cousin) -- instead of dragons, are vampires who run a tuberculosis sanatorium at the turn of the 20th century. They can prey on their patients with no outside interference -- it is thee perfect set up! One day Lysithea gets admitted. Desperate to get out and complete her college education she does everything she can to escape the hospital...and finds out some sinister secrets a long the way. Featuring Flayn as Lysithea's vampire nurse who falls in love with her (this is ultimately a Flayn/Lysithea fic), and Edelgard as Lysithea's "crazy" roommate who believes the staff is trying to kill them all instead of cure them.

One day I will dedicate the time to writing these...

[anothergirlrecovering]

Dietician day 7

Peggy called me back and I put my stuff down and we went to weigh. She was like I’m so happy you’re eating with me! I waslike oh well I brought the cheese it’s and she got super excited and I was like well I knew if I didn’t ring them you’d be pissed and she was like no but this is all about establishing new patterns with food! . When she was weighing me she said to hang on before stepping on it because it had to re-calibrate because it had been moved and she said that she has a teenager who likes to wander and I laughed and said that I may or may not have been one of those people who definitely with them selves in the dietitians room when I was in IOP and she was like and you probably got away with it because it was a group and I was like I definitely did. She explained that the kids mom worries about what she’s doing wandering the halls when they are discussing things and I said that makes sense and I asked her if she had any RFID kids and I explained my scenario with my kid and she didn’t actually really have any feedback that we talked briefly for a few minutes about how that diagnosis and particular is lacking research and we don’t really know what to do with it yet. So then she asked how my week was and I immediately started to cry and she handed me a tissue and I explained that this has been literally the worst week and a half that I’ve had in years and I started to ramble and talk about the fights with my husband and not really having any support and feeling really alone and isolated and my brother using Coke and my mom‘s comments about needing a flat stomach and my parents going to plant-based part of the time and how I’m perpetually afraid of my husband separating if I don’t go to treatment and how I am perpetually just super anxious. She listened to me about everything and wrote things down and said that she’s trying to take everything in and then she started talking about residential treatment and how there’s no shame in me going inpatient and she thinks it would be helpful for me to take a break from work in every day life stress and really focus on myself and getting better she said she didn’t realize that I worked at the treatment center and that there’s more to life than working there and I was like I just can’t disappear for a month and she was like yes you absolutely can that’s literally why they have FMLA is for emergency scenarios and I was like everyone would know where I went and she was like is that reality or is that your eating disorder talking I was like I think that’s reality everybody would know if I disappeared for months without my phone that it means that I got sick and went to treatment and she was like no it wouldn’t there’s 1 million other scenarios that could be a family member being L that you’re taking care of it to be a medical issue and she was at a few others that I hadn’t actually thought of but she was like nobody has to know what’s going on and with me working at the treatment center she was like if anything they’re going to want you to go get help and take care of yourself and not try to do this on your own and I was like then they’re not gonna want me to come back and she was like why not and I was like because Britney is super against people sharing their stuff and she was like well I think that’s bull crap and everybody has their stuff and she’s lying if she doesn’t and I was like I mean she definitely does but she’s not talking about it or open about it and they’re very much I don’t share your history type of place. She was like is that even somewhere that you want to be working and I think I just kind of stared at her blankly because I was like I don’t now I mean realistically like not long-term but it’s our only option in our area and then I started ugly crying and saying that if I went residential I’d be disappearing for a month and that would mean my parents would know because why else would I disappear for literally a month they would have questions I need answers and they can’t know I don’t even know that I’m struggling and she was like maybe they should know and then I started crying harder and I was like they didn’t care the first time around they’re not gonna care this time around they’ve never cared they’re not going to suddenly care about any of this and I can’t let them know what’s going on. It was a lot of crying. She asked about behaviors and I said that I had gone running once and that I had and specified the amount I was eating in two of my snacks because I knew it wasn’t really enough and I was anxious about it. I did tell her that I am starting the CBD oil and I will see how that goes if that helps with any of this. She had to remind me to eat twice and I eat my lunch while we talked. She said that My insurance would cover residential treatment and I was like I’m not a low enough weight for that and she was like they don’t just look at low weights I promise I’ve done this for a while and I know the criteria and at this point you’ve got plenty of things that go with the low weight like the obsessive thoughts and the significant body dysmorphia and the calorie counting. I explained that I was like sincerely convinced that I had been gaining weight and that my scale was broken because my look in the mirror it really looks like I have gained weight and she was like well you really haven’t because my scale says you haven’t gained anything and I was like I mean I guess if both of our skills are saying the same thing then it’s not broken it just feels really true even though I know that it’s not. I explained that I had always told myself that if I ever relapsed then I would change careers because if I couldn’t get my shit together by the third time than it meant that I didn’t need to be a therapist because obviously I was too mentally ill and of course then I was ugly crying again. I said how much I think I would hate group therapy and how I already know all of the skills that they are going over and not to be cocky but I have done treatment more than once I mean three times now and I’m a therapist so it’s not like I don’t know what I need to be doing I’m just sucking and doing any of them and she pointed out that there’s always things to learn and she still feels like a group aspect would be beneficial. I was eating my cheese it’s and having a hard time with him and I said it’s just so much freaking food and she was like ecause your body isn’t used to it. She said that it’s not actually a lot of food and that she notices that I 10 to 5 or load and eat more fruits and vegetables than anything else.i explained h fear of the hunger never going away and that i will just gained a bunch of weight and she was like I just don’t think that will happen and she said that that has literally never happened and all of her work over the years with people with eating disorders where she told him to start eating and they literally never going to this hyper overdrive where they gain a ton of weight above and beyond and she was like the only time that ever seems to be somewhat of an issue is when people are residential treatment. She said that her role is to monitor my way in and she will make sure that that isn’t happening for me and she was like and honestly I know that you monitor your weight too so if it was happening you would know. She was like are you still weighing yourself and I was like yeah and she was like just as much and I was like yeah and she was like so you knew that you weren’t gaining weight and I was like well yeah but that’s where the whole being convinced that my scale was broken was a problem and she was like OK. I said that honestly part of it also upset me this week was sort of realizing that I think being sick is starting to catch up with my body and I explained that it’s like my hands can never get warm and I’ve had chest pain and my hair is falling out and it just sort of feels like everything is spiraling out of control at once. I said that things are a lot harder with my husband because he keeps asking about am I eating my meals and I eating my snacks and she was like well I think that’s actually a pretty good support then because you have some more accountability and I was like I’d much prefer you be the accountability person and she was like I can’t be with you for every single meal and I was like I know that but it’s so much less anxiety provoking to tell you things than it is to tell him because there’s so much on the line with him and I’m perpetually afraid of ruining everything. She explained that she thinks I can do this and she said to expect a meeting with her thoughts are going to get a lot louder now because we aren’t just poking the bear but we are actually kicking the bear in the ass and I was like a piggy I thought you didn’t curse and she was like arse and then she laughed and said that she curses when she wants to be cursing and she knows that I like cursing and I was like you don’t have to curse for me and she was like I know but sometimes I like to do it anyway and it’s fitting and I said OK. She explain the concept of add-ons and said that I need to have at least two more add-ons to my meal plan because she thinks that my body is using everything. She mentioned ice cream as an ad on and I asked her if she knew about the Friendly’s ice cream sundae and she didn’t and I said that they were awesome and she was basically describing then add on’s or literally anything high calorie and dense and I was like OK and I mentioned Oreos and she was like yeah those are perfect and I said that my husband had bought some recently and she said to eat four or five and I was like so these add-ons are on top of my meal plan and she was like yeah and this doesn’t mean that you need to start skin being in other areas and I just kind of sat there anxiously and she was like OK? And I was like OK. She asked what I was thinking and I said just that I was glad my husband wasn’t there because I feel like the whole conversation would have made him want to push me to go inpatient. I asked her if she had changed any of my other exchanges and she pulled it back out and was like no I don’t think I did and she was like I don’t think that you’re hitting all of them but I don’t think that you’re necessarily trying to leave out any specifically and I was like well I total of the numbers every day and I know that I am perpetually tend to not get enough starches and not get enough fats and she was like yeah and I was like but I have been doing better with adding a fact my lunches and I explained that I have added a fat source all of my sandwiches when I pack my lunches during the week. She said that was great and she wanted to remind me that she’s not saying that I’m not making enough progress but that my body is just using a lot of what I’m putting in and so we need to really increase to give it more in order to restore. She pointed out that she knows that she has commented on recovery record about my fiber intake and she was like you didn’t comment back and I just kind of laughed because I was like well I didn’t know that I was expected to come in back but I mean she’s not wrong. She said still no exercise and remind her that I can do this. I just sort of stared at her blankly and she was like really you can. I said that I think part of what’s hard is with the meal exchanges I have a hard time prioritizing which exchanges need to be met and so when I look at it my priority is always my fruits and vegetables and I make sure that those ones are hit and everything else just kind of ends up being the leftovers and so she was like OK well we can fix that so she changed my exchange needs. I had also earlier asked about what a normal amount of food is going to be and she was like well we aren’t there yet and I was like I mean what is the food pyramid say and she was like we don’t really use that anymore we just use the my plate and I was like OK but even with that and she was like well really just individually depends on everybody and she kind of dodged the question but she is like for right now You don’t need many fruits and vegetables you need more of the starches in order to get to the healthy weight. She was like we can readjust those numbers later on and I was like well I’m scared that I’ll never be at a point where I can just re-adjust those numbers and live functioning and she was like well we will get there and we will adjust them as we need to but for now you don’t need so much fiber because that’s making you feel too full to eat the other more caloric dense foods. I said OK and she said to follow her back to the copy room where we made copies of my goals and my updated meal exchange plan. As she made the copies she looked at me funny and she was like I’m sorry I know this is so hard for you and I said it’s OK and she said you look like you’re about to cry and I was like it’s OK though and she was like I know but you really look like you’re about to cry and I was like because I might and I was like it’s OK I have therapy after this it’ll be fine I can go cry with her too and she was like I know it’s all really hard and it’s a lot and you’re doing the work and you’re doing great and we went back to her office with the copies and scheduled for next time. Also peggy called me amber again and part of me is just like what the heck.