#so when i turned out to be dumb and unsuccessful and mentally ill/disabled | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

psychoticwillgraham · 4 months ago

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my fear of failure and pursuit of perfection is ruining my artistic endeavors and it fucking sucks bc i just Can't break out of it. probably bc of how ingrained being perfect and successful was in my family honestly.

#like mom got her hopes up with my sister bc she was a cheerleader #on the volleyball team and got a college degree #and got lots of academic accolades in high school and college #and is now making 100k a year as the head nurse on her hospital floor #so she thought i'd be the same way #bc my sister is literally a textbook model of the 'perfect daughter'#and then i happened and was absolutely nothing like her #so when i turned out to be dumb and unsuccessful and mentally ill/disabled #she just. further pushed the narrative of being perfect at everything #bc even if i wasnt educated and successful i can at least make perfect art #and bc she graduated top of her class in her art college in fine arts #and everything she does is hyper realistic and absolutely perfect #so she expects a LOT of me when it comes to art and creative endeavors #idk man i just feel like i was set up to fail and that i currently am

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