#and god willing I'll finally be able to start doing it at the end of this month or beginning of the next

[pulquedeguayaba]

Been crying regularly since June last year but these last couple of weeks damn, specially this one that just ended.

I dont think I've ever cried so much in my life

[legobiwan]

We need to talk about this. And I'm going to start right off with a contentious claim:

Ford was willing to gamble the fate of his entire dimension to feed his ego and insecurities and Bill had him pegged from Square One.

This sounds like a harsh statement. It kind of is. When we first meet Ford in the show, all we end up learning from him is that restarting the Portal was dangerous and could (and did) create a rift that would open the door for Bill and his gang to end the world. And Ford pins this entirely on Stanley, excoriating him for not listening to his warnings in the journals and doing whatever he wanted, like a set of monkeys flinging shit at walls until he happened to get it correct.

Ford is a highly unreliable narrator. After all, as Stan rightfully said, who built the portal in the first place?

But we need to go deeper.

In Journal 3, Ford speaks to the necessity of hiding his journals, which he - to be quite honest - does a crappy job of. Why keep two out of the three journals in Gravity Falls, a mere hair's breath from the actual Portal, which for some mysterious reason, Ford has declined to - you know - actually destroy? Why bury the Journals near an elementary school with children - children who tend to be curious creatures and can and will find a way to discover what they shouldn't? Why call on your estranged brother who you claim to despise as an absolute last resort? Ford's narrative, if you really start to analyze it, makes zero sense. And it makes zero sense because it's an edifice, a personal mythology meant to be a bulwark against the horrible truth of Ford's motivations.

"I've stared at the fire, journals in hand, for hours. I just can't do it. The knowledge in here could be a gift to mankind, the portal's potential limitless. Am I really going to destroy it all just out of spite? No, I won't give HIM the satisfaction. Instead of destroying my work, I'll find a way to DESTROY BILL INSTEAD. If Cipher has a weakness, I'll find it. I'll outsmart the devil yet! He may be a god, but I am a scientist."

Ford could have ended this thirty years ago if his ego hadn't gotten in the way. All he had to do was burn the journals and destroy the portal, just like every other human Bill tried to con over the years. How much did Ford actually care about the end of the world as much as he cared about Bill's betrayal and losing his earth-shattering (quite literally) research?

He didn't. And given this, is it a surprise that Bill, when he finally was able to breach dimensions and start Weirdmaggedon, still placed bets that Ford would join him in the end? The man who said, "Fuck the universe, I need everyone to know I was right."

This isn't about the possible apocalypse. Ford doesn't make one, single mention of that here, doesn't seem to give one fuck if the world burns, as long as he can prove himself to be better than Bill and better than everyone who doubted him for all his life.

And this is why, I am certain, that when Bill perused Ford's possible futures, a large majority ended up with Ford turning to the dark side, as it were.

There's a reason Ford pulled these journal pages. They don't fit his self-constructed narrative of the heroic martyr who wants to save the world. Ford edits his own story again and again, pushing everyone away so they won't see just how insecure and absolutely desperate for validation he is.

Sound like someone we know? Maybe a yellow triangle who literally outlines the steps to denial in his teenage angst journal?

Bill, in essence, promised Ford the universe. Yes, literally, but also the universe in terms of what Ford always wanted - recognition and revenge. Ford, by not destroying the Portal or his journals, didn't 100% reject this proposal, even if that equivocation was subconscious. It's why - I think - Bill feels Ford's just put him "on read" after he fell through the Portal (according to Alex Hirsch).

Ford's going to have to come to terms with this. Maybe he did during his time in the Portal. We have no idea how much Ford did or didn't mellow while being stuck on the other side of the universe, although we do know a) he still holds a massive grudge against his brother and b) Bill is still able to play him like a lyre when he asks about the equation to pop the bubble around Gravity Falls. (And I do not for one second believe that Ford was trying to buy time when he admits that "Of course, a simple equation could collapse the barrier," when Bill questions him about it. Ford needs to prove that he knows the answer, that he figured it out, that he's a scientist and outsmarted a god. Again, if the kids and Stan hadn't come to Ford's rescue, it's very hard to say where Ford would have landed in the end).

The thing is, there's a part of Ford that realizes he's being an ass, that he needs someone. We see this with Bill, obviously, with Fiddleford in the ways Ford runs so incredibly hot and cold with the man (I need you, no I don't need you) - with Stan, who is a last resort but the only person Ford trusts enough to summon to Oregon. Because Ford didn't need Stan to destroy the journals or the portal - but he needed someone, maybe he needed a dollar-store Bill in his life, maybe he just needed someone to reach out like that. Ford fucks it up, wildly, as he can't let his ego go and allow Stan (who is being extremely practical, if bitter) to burn the journals like Ford should have weeks previous.

And well, we all know how that turned out.

What I'm curious about - and what I think needs to be covered more in fandom - is how Ford deals with all of this post-Weirdmaggedon. He's obviously in contrition mode at this point, swinging wildly to this penitent, self-abusing figure who will claim fault for the tiniest infraction.

That's not going to last him long. The type of change and self-reflection Ford needs is not going to come overnight. At some point, his uglier tendencies are going to rear their head on the Stan O'War and Stan is going to have to weather the blowback (or just throw his brother overboard). One might say Ford himself needs a little time the Theraprism, as he nearly consigned his own reality to damnation just like Bill did.

I love Ford. I adore Ford. He is so, so, so complicated. But ohhh boi, Fordsy, do you have issues with a Capital "I".

[anime-grimmy]

Soooo, you've probably noticed Ive been replaying HZD recently so my mind's been stuck on the franchise for a while.

I finally took the time to actually try and experience Burning Shores for the first time, this time with an unbiased opinion.

Bcs, ngl, when it came out, I was very negative towards it for a couple of reasons. It already started out with me not being able to freaking play this DLC, even though I was so excited for it, cos while HFW was on PS4, the DLC wasnt. And Im wasnt going to buy a whole ass PS5 just for a DLC.

(I will get it once I buy a PS5 for MH Wilds though).

And then, ofc, the elephant in the room - Seyka, or rather Aloy's relationship with her.

I'll preface this with, though it should be obvious with my content, I do NOT have a problem with Aloy being in a gay relationship.

What rly irked me, and honestly still irks me, is that Aloy finally gets to experience new feelings IN A FUCKING DLC. AN EXTENSION A LOT OF THE PLAYERBASE WONT PLAY.

The second reason I didnt enjoy this decision was bcs it felt so rushed. I mean, we're talking about Aloy here! Miss "I dont have time for feelings bcs I gotta save the world"! Miss "I barely just learnt to let others in"!

From what Ive heard, the DLC is over the course of a few weeks/months, so it's not like they fell in love just like that, but Ive also heard that while playing you do not get a feel for that passage of time. I'll have to experience that for myself though.

Now that Ive had some distance from the franchise though, my feelings have changed a bit

Im not going to lie and say I now loooove this decision. No, I am still miffed such enourmous character developement for Aloy is stuck IN A DLC. Not to mention that it was such a bold move to try this with a new character, cos this relationship being perceived well hinges on the player liking Seykay and that fast. Imo she's a fine character but also nothing special.

Now, I do have to say, I am really happy that Aloy has finally come so far that she allows such intimate feelings to develop, or rather, that the devs let her be this way. I know a lot of us still perceive Aloy as this single minded protag, that wont let anyone in bcs "the mission is too important", so Im glad Guerilla shows us that Aloy has undergone quite the growth.

Im also pleasantly surprised that Guerilla has the guts to include romance for Aloy, bcs they were one leg in the "strong women need no (wo)men" pit, so it's great to see they dont let Aloy fall into that trope.

Now, for the FUN part.

I actually have a conspiracy theory, ie I am gaslighting myself on why such a big thing is stuck in a DLC.

I think Guerilla is testing the waters to see how players react. I am pretty sure they can gather the data on what dialogue options players used, so Im thinking this:

Guerilla is trying to gauge the player reaction on a) Aloy developing feelings, b) players thinking Aloy is ready/willing for a relationship, c) same sex relationships. They tried killing quite a few birds with one stone.

I have seen quite a few teasing, winky face posts and replies from Guerilla staff about romance options in the third installment, so my guess (delusion) is that the relationship is hidden in the DLC so Guerilla can plan on how much and obvious to include several romance options in the last title.

I know this is all just wishful thinking, but even if Seyka is a good character, I hope to fucking god that they dont just take that relationship decision away from us, esp with a character bound to a DLC.

Guerilla gave us such a wonderful cast of characters over the last two games, and if they want to give Aloy an "end game" in the third title, I hope they do let us choose with who. Or at least I hope they dont force a relationship we cant choose onto us.

Cos as much as Aloy is her own person, it is still US that make the decisions in game. Through our individual playstyles , we give Aloy our own interpretation. Now, we cant change her core values, but still, I hope to GAIA that Guerilla will give us enough wiggle room.

(Guerilla, Im begging you, Ive already waited 8 years, please dont let my ship sink)

[coldlovehotblood]

K queen could you please provide me with some izzy fic lmao 😭😭😭😭 so um i'm literally at the end of my uni semester and it's eating me out CAUSE I FEEL SO DUMB LIKE WHY TF AM I GETTING A DEGREE IF I CANT DO BASIC SHIT 💀💀💀💀💀💀 but i needed a super cute angst to fluff izzy fic where yn is going through this and she feels dumb and just bad about it all, and izzy helps her feeling better 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 literally handed 2 big projects today (i'm a programmer btw but that's irrelevant) and i got 3 tests next week AND I CANT BARELY THINK ANYMORE

Ok i'll shut up bye thank youuuuu

˗ˏˋ✩ˎˊ˗

SMARTY PANTS

The pressure of university is worse than you thought it’d be, swallowing you up before you realise what’s happening. Luckily, your boyfriend is willing to help you forget for a while.

w/c: 2,128

warnings: smut

a/n: haiii sorry for the wait! nah programming sounds like a headache to me you must have one of the biggest brains in all the land. wish i was that smart fr😔 anyway i hope this scratches the Izzy fluff itch and gives you a little boost. YOU’VE GOT THIS I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

GWORGGGG divider by @strangergraphics

You were burnt out. Badly.

Exhaustion wasn’t a strong enough word for it. You were so genuinely close to padlocking your apartment door and going into hibernation in an attempt to catch up on missed shuteye.

Every assignment felt colossal, and put another wall between you and the freedom university was supposed to give you once you moved away from home. You had wanted more space to breathe, more opportunities to explore the world and yourself, more time to spend with your boyfriend…

God, your boyfriend was so good about all of it. He knew when to give you space and when to fill that space. He knew it was eating you alive and kicking your ass. He never gave you grief for periods of silence. You honestly didn’t know how you deserved him.

This occasion was yet another display of his patience.

You were sitting on your bed, staring blankly at the wall, trying to will yourself to get up and do something productive. With assignments being at the forefront of your mind for the past week or two, everything else was left behind. Your room was in disarray, there were clothes to be washed, dishes to be done, the list went on and on. As the minutes ticked by, you got more frustrated with yourself and your inability to keep up with life. You couldn't tell if University was brutal or if you really were eternally a few steps behind.

It was frustrating.

That lump that had been sitting in the base of your throat for the whole day finally loosened up as a sob heaved its way out of you. Vision blurred with tears, you turned to lie on top of your bed covers, but you heard a knock down the hall.

It took an unbelievable amount of effort to haul yourself up from where you lay. You padded over and didn't bother to wipe your cheeks before opening the door. There stood Izzy in leather and dark wash denim, holding a bottle of Jack. The crappy, sparse, yellow light from the hall was dampened greatly by the grin he was sporting, but that quickly faded once he saw your face.

“Baby, are you ok?”

You really started to cry then. He came through the threshold at once and took you into his arms. That gorgeous woody scent you knew as his engulfed you. Wordlessly, he guided you back into your apartment and to the sofa, setting the bottle down in favour of pulling you on top and close.

You tucked your head into his shoulder, seeking more of his cologne as he soothed a hand down your spine, tracing light patterns with his fingertips as he went. You realised then that you could relax a bit and that you were able to shrug off the tight restraints of deadlines that had been digging into you like rough ropes tied too tight.

Your voice was croaky when you eventually thanked him after a few minutes of silence. He shook his head in response.

“Are you feeling any better?”

“A little,” you replied with a sniff.

One of his hands now pushed away some of the hair that had fallen over your face.

“I came ‘cause a while ago you told me today was the deadline for some pretty important things. I wanted to see how you were holding up.”

You moved to look up at him from where you lay, and he dipped his head to look back at you, that same grin from before returning.

“I even brought a friend,” he spoke with a giggle, looking over to where he’d set the liquor bottle down. It was brand new, the amber contents sitting just below the unbroken seal as it ought to be.

You sighed before dropping your head again.

“How did you remember? I know that you and Axl are busy right now.”

“I wrote it down on some paper and kept it in my jacket. Every time I went to grab my lighter, I felt it and remembered. Figured it was the only way I could’ve.”

You were so fond of him it was sickening.

“You’re really dumb.”

“In comparison to you, yeah, honestly. All that computer stuff they have you doing is unbelievable.”

You let yourself feel the vibrations of his voice rumble against your cheek as you took in his words. Following this path had been your dream. Tech had always been an area of interest and pursuing it in university looked like the best path for you. For months, you had scoured high and low, looking for a place that would best accommodate you and the life you dreamed of creating. If you were going to do it, you were making damn sure you’d do it right. With the tech industry in the beginnings of a boom, it really was the best time to start.

However, you severely underestimated the pressure of the workload. You understood what you were getting yourself into when you signed up. You had read the course details a million times over, but actually having those deadlines hanging over your head, actually having those tests back to back with no wiggle room or time for a breather— it was harsh. Much worse than you thought it would be.

On top of that, the content was difficult. You had to take your passion seriously now. That doesn't sound like a big deal until you experience it yourself. It’s so strange, and new information was thrown at you with every lecture. The knowledge being given was amazing, but memorising all of it, being tested on it, brought everything into a different ballpark entirely.

In short, you were finding the rigour of it all extremely hard to keep up with, and the idea of dropping out was starting to paw at you like a dog looking for treats.

“I question why I’m doing it.”

Izzy scoffed and shook his head once more. This time his chin grazed your crown as he did.

“You’re kidding, right? You’re doing it because it’s what you love.”

“It is, but is it worth my sanity? I mean, there is constantly so much going on I feel like I’m losing even the basics.”

He said your name softly as his hand came to your cheek, encouraging your head up to meet his eyes.

“They wouldn’t have let you in if they thought you weren’t capable of keeping up. You are good at what you do, great even. And with this kind of an education? You’ll become fucking insane.”

His words brought you back to earth a bit. What he was saying made sense, but it wasn’t enough to fully satisfy that itching feeling of being behind, the feeling of non-existent eyes drilling into your back everytime you thought about work.

He tapped your cheek with his index and ring finger.

“Hey, let that pretty head rest. Let those projects and stray homework’s be the past and be here with me in the now.”

In the low light of your living room, his silver nose ring glinted as he tilted his head. You wished you could follow his instruction, but doubt is a stubborn thing. Tears filled your lash line again and he made a face so concerned and full of care it brought them on faster.

“Don’t cry, baby, it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

Frustration grew once again and you couldn’t stop the whimper that escaped you.

Suddenly, Izzy’s face changed as he looked into your salt-soaked eyes.

“I know how I can help.”

It was your turn to tilt your head.

“Will you let me take care of you?”

“What—“

“Just trust me,” he whispered, smiling handsomely as he came closer. You could feel his breath tickle your face a little bit with the proximity.

You were sinking deeper into a pool of uncertainty by the second, and he offered a hand to pull you to the surface. How could you refuse?

“Please,” you breathed back before he pressed his lips to yours.

Kissing him was like blinking, it came naturally and you didn’t have to think about it. Your mouths moved in sync so well it was easy to get lost in it. He was soft against you, each brush of lips like waves melting into each other upon impact. Seamless.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and flipped the two of you gently so that he was hovering above you. Carefully, Izzy brought one hand down your body as he kept the other propped beside your head on the armrest, slowly dragging it lower and lower as he continued to kiss you.

He then pulled away from your mouth as he sat up straighter, giving himself two hands to meet at the waistband of your bottoms.

“What you need, sweetheart, is a distraction. That is something I can most certainly give,” he spoke, wiggling his eyebrows and making you laugh. Fingers under the fabric, he hesitated.

“Is this ok? We don’t have to do anything, it’s just an idea.”

He was too good to you. So sweet it’d be no time at all before every one of your teeth would have to be capped with silver.

“I trust you.”

That’s all the confirmation he needed before pulling them all the way down, taking your panties along with the movement. He was careful but quick.

“You’re so gorgeous here,” he muttered, not taking his eyes off of your exposed lower half.

You blushed bright as you wiped at your eyes, loathing the tight feeling that came to your cheeks once tear tracks dried. Izzy ever so gently encouraged you to open your legs wider with his hands, parting them to place himself in between.

He lowered himself then to your hip, leaving a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses, whispering praises as he crept closer and closer to where you needed him most. You shivered as arousal bloomed in your stomach. Your being sung under his touch.

He stole one more glance of you, eyes glittering with excitement. He looked ready to buzz out of his skin and squeal. Every time he did this, you were left in disbelief at how eager he could be. You couldn’t decide if it was you or him that got off more to things like this.

Finally, he closed the gap between him and you, and you sighed with contentment. Izzy licked a stripe over your core and pleasure coursed throughout your body. Hypnotised, you let him have his way.

He was too good at it, knowing just how and where to brush his tongue in order to drive you mad. You didn’t realise it, but his lapping really was making you blank.

You were relaxing.

He built you up steadily and at the brink of orgasm he left you hanging, stunning you out of the bubble he’d lulled you into. This continued a couple of times as he made sure your brain was left mush and static.

Once satisfied with your state, he let you reach that dizzying peak of pleasure and tipped you over the edge, ecstasy bursting you open and leaving a supernova in it’s wake for your boyfriend to appreciate; the fruit of his labour: a lax-bodied, simple-minded version of you.

You panted with him as he brought you to his chest once again. You couldn’t really say anything but his name at that point so you opted for silence and squeezing him tight.

“Told you I knew,” he said huskily into your ear, nipping your lobe playfully.

It took a second for the words to come out, but you did eventually reply, “okay smarty pants, we get it.”

He laughed, the sound ringing loud and bright through the room before moving an arm under your knees and standing up, princess carrying you through your apartment to the bedroom. As he went, he continued his teasing, insisting you call him ‘ the smartest motherfucker to ever walk the earth’ before he tucked you in and took his place behind you, curled up tight to your back.

Worn out and kept cozy by Izzy’s warmth, it wasn’t long before sleep took you. You’d decided university was a problem for future you, as you at the time was more occupied thinking of all the ways they could prove they are the smarter motherfucker.

You were terribly in love, and, in that moment, that was what trumped everything else.

Also, you had a bottle of Jack Daniel’s waiting for you. That’s an immediate plus.

[angelatmidnight1]

A Helping Hand

A/N: This is just a self-indulgent fic I'm using as a springboard for another one. I'm in a Gale/Karlach/Astarion high right now. I'll get back to requests as soon as I can, and I hope you like the story!

Fandom- Baldur's Gate 3.

Pairing- Starts with Gale x Karlach (platonic, ler!Gale and lee!Karlach), and ends with Gale, Karlach, and Astarion (platonic, ler!Karlach, ler!Astarion, and lee!Gale).

Word Count- 2,532.

Warnings- Situated in Act 3 so potential for spoilers, also tickling and swearing.

Gale finally shows Karlach how to cast Mage Hand, another avenue of touch, and she’s thrilled by the doors it opens up. He invites her to explore touch with him and doesn’t account for her using it for more playful, nefarious reasons, like tickling. And, just when it couldn’t get any more chaotic, Astarion invites himself in on the fun, too…

“That’s it, Karlach. Try the incantation again.”

Gale spoke from behind the tiefling after he guided her hands into the right position. She was very warm to the touch, but touching her didn’t burn. Her engine was a source of curiosity for him ever since she’d joined the party way back when. But, instead of indulging that curiosity, he’d promised to show her how to cast Mage Hand. Karlach had gotten the incantation down more or less. He just had to make sure she had her hands in the right place. Magic was just as much a physical thing as a verbal one in Gale’s experience. 

Karlach rigidly held her hands in position and repeated the incantation. “Veniam Iuva Me..” Her eyes brightened when the spectral hand emerged in front of her. “I got it!”

“Excellent,” Gale smiled. “Now, with a flick of the wrist, or a thought even, the hand will do as you command. You can pick things up, throw them, push the unfortunate goblin to their death…”

Karlach wasn’t fully listening; instead, she flexed and curled her fingers, and the mage hand mirrored her. “Yeah. Woulda been nice to have one of these when I got back to the Sword Coast.” She replied. “At least I’d have been able to touch something..”

She guided the hand across the Elfsong Tavern and picked up a tankard. She brought it back over to her and took a sip of the ale, exhaling deeply. “Aw, man. A girl could get used to this..”

Gale chuckled and picked up his own glass of wine. “Learning cantrips are only the beginning of a lifelong journey with magic. Cheers to taking that first step.”

Karlach happily clinked her tankard with his glass. She took another sip, her eyes sparkling with genuine wonder and curiosity. “So, I can touch anything with this hand, right?”

“Most things,” he corrected. “The mage hand can take damage just as our own. So, you couldn’t grab, say, the blade end of a sword. But you could wield said sword as an extension of yourself. It’s very handy in that regard.”

“Gods, the puns.” Karlach snickered. “And yeah, I’ll be sure to have one of these around when we beat the Absolute’s ass. But uh, I was thinking more along the lines of being able to, you know, hold someone’s hand? Maybe caress a face or two?”

“Of course. Here, if you’d like, you can explore the mage hand’s capabilities with me.” He finished his wine and stood in front of her. He extended his own hand. ���I’m more than willing to offer myself as a test subject in the pursuit of knowledge.”

“Really? That’d be awesome!” Karlach brought the hand to Gale’s, palm to palm. She interlocked her fingers and the mage hand, as well as Gale, followed suit. “Thank you, Gale.”

“It’s my pleasure.” Gale allowed Karlach to explore his hand with the spectral one, watching it stroke across his fingers. The barbarian hummed in thought and moved further up his arm. 

“So, what does this feel like?” She asked, moving the touches up to his wrist. “Doesn’t beat the real thing I suppose. But it is nice to have options.”

“Well, it’s very similar to the touch of another, minus the warmth of course.” Gale turned his palm towards the floor so she could go up his arm. “Maybe it is a lighter touch, too. Almost feather like..”

“Yeah?” When she reached his upper arm, she curled the fingers on the mage hand, gently squeezing into his skin. Gale fidgeted a little bit and exhaled through his nose. She raised a brow. “What? That doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“No, quite the opposite, actually.” He chuckled. “Bit ticklish is all.”

“Huh.” Karlach hummed again, continuing to kneading into his upper arm. She smiled. “I didn’t really pick you as the ticklish type, with you being all proper and scholarly and whatnot.”

“Y-Yehehes, well…” Gale chuckled a bit more and tugged at his arm, but the mage hand held strong. After a few more attempts, Gale managed to get his arm free. “I can say with confidence that ticklishness doesn’t have a face. Why, even the strongest warriors can be—hey!”

 Instead of going for his arms again, Karlach brought the mage hand towards his torso, prodding into his side. Gale again jumped away from the ticklish touch and giggled louder. He backpedaled and wrapped a protective arm around his torso. “Now, Karlach,” he warned. He suddenly felt a bit playful and grinned. “Choose your next actions carefully. Should you try to tickle me again, I will have no choice but to retaliate.”

He stepped further away from her, his hands glowing with magic. Karlach followed after him, snickering. 

“Oh really?” Karlach challenged, returning the grin. “Heh, I’d like to see you try!”

Somewhere else in the tavern, sitting on his bed, was Astarion. His brow was knitted together in concentration as he sewed up a split seam on a shirt. Not his shirt, but Wyll’s. Now that they were back in Baldur’s Gate, Astarion believed looking the part was a high priority. He wouldn’t stand for his companions walking around in tattered clothes. Ideally, he’d find a clothing merchant and just steal their stuff, but he was willing to pace himself. He flinched when there was a sudden roar of laughter, Karlach’s laughter, and he grumbled under his breath. Did she always have to be so damn loud?

“Karlach, can you keep it down?” He called sharply. He refused to look up from what he was doing; he was nothing if not a perfectionist when it came to sewing. “Some of us have important things to do, and I need to concentrate.”

But instead of quieting down, Karlach’s laughter only got louder. A thud accompanied this wild laughter, and Astarion’s patience waned. He got up with a heavy sigh, putting his work on his end table. Then, he followed the source of the racket. 

When he got to the next room, Karlach was prone on the floor, laughing her head off. Gale sat beside her with a smug smirk. Karlach’s mage hand was gone, and there was a purple aura emanating off of her: Gale’s variation of a Hold Person spell. Instead of completely immobilizing her, she was able to squirm around, though she didn’t get very far. The first place he squeezed was her hips, a terribly ticklish spot, and he was still kneading into them when Astarion entered the room. 

“I warned you,” Gale was saying as he skittered his fingers across her torso. He honed in on her sides, and her loud laughter calmed into not as loud giggles. “We could’ve handled this civilly, but you forced my hand!”

Karlach squealed and wrestled with Gale’s hands, but her laughter had weakened her, and she was honestly having a blast. “Fahahahaha! I-I’ll gehehehet youhuhuhu bahahack! Youhuhuhu juhuhust wahahait!” 

“Unlikely,” Gale snickered. “But I do admire your resolve.”

That’s when he summoned another mage hand and used it to poke at her ribs. Karlach’s frantic giggling mingled with snorts. Astarion fondly shook his head as he watched from afar. 

“Having fun, darlings?” Astarion soon spoke over Karlach’s laughter. He stepped further into the room. He was initially annoyed,  but Karlach’s laugh was highly contagious. He had to expend a good deal of effort not to giggle along with her. “I was wondering why Karlach was laughing so hard. I figured someone told a joke, fell on their arse maybe. But no, you’re just…tickling her. Adorable I suppose, but why?”

Gale looked up, joining the mage hand in pinching and scritching over Karlach’s ribs. She yelled and rolled from one side to the other, trying to dodge the hands. “Because I made the generous offer to teach her a spell, and she decided to turn on me,” he explained.. “I responded in turn by giving her a taste of her own medicine.” 

“So I see,” Astarion hummed. “Well, I’d tell you two to keep it down, but that’s impossible with her hyena call. Maybe you’d like a hand?”

“NAAHAHOHOHO!” Karlach protested, shrieking when Gale’s hand jumped to her armpit. She immediately brought her arms down, trapping his hand, and her laughter went up two octaves. Gale continued to wriggle his fingers along her armpit, but having her arms down didn’t make it easy for him. He sent the mage hand to wrestle with her arm to try and pull it up. Gale regarded Astarion with a quick glance, nodding. 

“I certainly won’t turn down the help—”

“Not you, Gale.” Astarion scoffed. He walked towards the duo. “Why, our poor fiery friend is in stitches, and you have the advantage of having literal magic at your fingertips. Helping you wouldn’t even begin to even the playing field..”

 Gale’s gaze snapped back to the spawn. He halted his tickle attack, giving Karlach a break. “Now hang on, I wasn’t the one that started this.”

“But you are the one indirectly causing the noise, in a manner of speaking.” Astarion stepped with a purpose towards them. “I couldn’t even sew in peace.”

“That hardly seems fair!” Gale protested. Since he spent a lot of effort keeping Karlach in place and now had his sights on Astarion, both his concentration and his spell slots waned. That didn’t stop him from popping up from the floor and pointing a warning finger at him. “Don’t you dare, Astarion!”

Karlach  wrapped both arms around her torso as they bickered. She didn’t mind tickling in the slightest, but Gale wasn’t going to weasel his way out of her well deserved revenge. Especially when she now had a partner in crime. While she was laying on the floor, she grabbed a fistful of the end of Gale’s robe and pulled him down with her. Gale screamed and, before he knew it, Astarion was on him, too. 

“Get him!” Karlach shouted, easily tangling the wizard up in her arms. Astarion smirked and knelt beside them. He waited until she pulled his arms over his head to poke into his sides. Gale flinched and tried to lean away from the poke, but he only leaned further into Karlach’s arms.

“Nohoho no no! AhAHah! Wahahait!” Gale yelped and squirmed as Astarion continued to prod into his sides, his frantic giggles already threatening to jump to laughter. “Two against one is nohohot fahahir!”

“Who said anything about fair?” Karlach grinned and clawed her way down his forearm until she could burrow into his exposed armpits. Gale bucked and giggled harder, trying and failing to bring his arms back down. “Nope, you’re not getting out of this one, Gale.”

Astarion climbed on top of Gale’s kicking legs, fingertips fluttering into his sides with more purpose. The wizard twisted from one side to the other, but his fingers stayed on him. “You really thought I’d help you? And end up on the receiving end of Karlach’s fury?” Astarion snickered. “No, my dear. Unlike you, I know how to pick battles that I can win, haha.”

“Y-Youhuhu opportunhistic leehehehehech!” Gale squealed and curled in on himself when Karlach circled her thumbs along the outer curve of his armpits. The barbarian smirked, following the curve of his back and ending with swipes of her claws at the back of his ribs. Gale yelled and jerked forward, only to press his back into her chest when she kept scribbling. 

“Where ya goin’~?” She giggled. She let go of his arms for the moment so that she could use both hands to attack his rib cage. Gale immediately brought his arms to his sides and batted at her wrists. 

“Awahahahay frohohohom youhuhuhu!” He yelped and squeezed at her wrists when she tickled faster. “KAhahahaha! Lehehehet mehehehe gohohoho!”

In truth, Gale enjoyed tickling every now and again. It’s not something he’d go around talking about, but he definitely appreciated a good laugh. But Karlach and Astarion together were probably the most mischievous ticklers on the Sword Coast. If anything, they fed off of each other’s skills. Astarion had the dexterous fingers and teasing taunts, and Karlach had the strength and boundless energy. Together, they left Gale a laughing mess.

“Why? We’ve only just started,” Astarion teased, gently pinching the sides of his stomach. Gale jolted and belted out a laugh. Astarion did it again, earning another frantic laugh, and he grinned knowingly. Gale’s arms flailed as he tried to grab the spawn’s hands. 

“NOHOHO AHASTAHARION!” Gale wrestled with his hands, now full-on laughing. Astarion clicked his teeth as he tried to keep tickling his tummy. He gave Karlach an expectant look. 

“Ahem, little help here?” He asked, having to halt his tickle attack in favor of trying to move Gale’s hands. Karlach stopped tickling his ribs and reached over both men’s arms.

“Right, I’ve got ‘im.” She looped her larger arms around Gale and drew him back into her chest. Gale continued to squirm until his arms were trapped under hers.

“Thank you,” Astarion chuckled. He smirked at the wizard in front of him and made a big show of flexing his fingers. “Now, where were we?”

He put one hand on Gale’s tummy and Gale flinched again, nervously giggling. 

“Nohohot thehehre…” Gale jumped again and squealed when the spawn flexed his fingers. “AHAhastariohohon! Anywhehehre buhuhut thehehehre!”

“My, so sensitive..” Astarion continued to gently flex his fingers against Gale’s tummy, chuckling more at his squeals and cackles. “I’m hardly touching you. Our resident wizard is just a magical bundle of nerves, isn’t he?”

“Sure is,” Karlach grinned. “But hey, who said you’re gettin’ all of the fun?” She readjusted her hold on Gale, now using one arm to keep him against her chest. She joined Astarion in squeezing and poking into Gale’s tummy, and his loud laughter echoed throughout the tavern. 

Astarion wrapped his legs around Gale’s to not get thrown off but, even then, he almost went flying. Karlach laughed along with Gale as she alternated between the side of his stomach and just above his hip. 

“Gods, I love your laugh,” she giggled. “It’s so fuckin’ cute.” Despite her strength, even Karlach had to make sure she didn’t let go of him. Gale bucked and cackled in her hold.

“NAHAHAHAHA! DOHOHON’T TIH-AHAHA! AHAHA!” Gale struggled to get a full sentence out; he could only laugh himself silly as he leaned into Karlach’s shoulder. 

Eventually, the duo eased off of him. Karlach let go of his arms, and Astarion slowed his tickles down to gentle pokes and stroking. Gale inadvertently slid down Karlach’s lap, finally able to bat at Astarion’s hands.

“Plehehease, truhuhuce…” He gasped, sighing with relief once Astarion finally stopped. The spawn snickered.

“Alright, alright, I’ve had my fun. I’ll leave you in the capable hands of our mutual friend.” Astarion patted Gale’s stomach and climbed off of his legs. Once he was gone, Karlach pulled the wizard up into a seated position, holding him close.

“No hard feelings, right Gale?” She asked, rubbing her warm hands over his torso. Gale exhaled and shook his head. 

“Not at all. I believe we settled our score,” He replied, leaning further into her warmth. “Astarion, on the other hand…” 

[yuseirra]

At least Ai and Hikaru have stuff going on in canon like Ai having said she really wanted to live forever with him... That she wanted to share his burdens and wanted to raise their kids together, have a future with her guy.. Isn't that so loving? Isn't that so sweet. She did everything for him.

I wouldn't have drawn them in the first place if those words didn't come straight from Ai's mouth. For me, it's Ai's say on this that's really sold it for me because it meant so much. To realize she really loved him so much.

And her guy thinks he was only alive when he had Ai with him and he's willing to sacrifice his life for her... That he can't live without her, yeah there is NO WAY I wouldn't have had a heart for a relationship like that. I'll never regret having found good things about them. I'm always nuts about characters who care deeply about one another and share an unseverable bond. They did a really wonderful job formulating their character and I still appreciate it a lot... That's how I've been able to draw so many of them in the first place. They're so confusing.. But I still could/can find so many things about them. It's great.

But the authors better do them justice. They're also victims of child abuse and reflect the real pains of what people actually go through in an industry, I want them to handle them with care because what they carry is heavy.

And I see it. I know they can do it. I know how they can take away a meaningful message regarding these guys, I can do it, so I know they can, they're way more capable and skilled than I am. They can write a good story, so they should just do it.

But there's so little left. Late, too. Even a real god may not be able to save this work, who knows. I wish something happens so I'll willingly buy the final volume of this piece. I want that to happen so I keep expressing my feelings about it, if I had none left, I'd have just moved on. I know what it's capable of. It's right there...I see it. So I hope they do it.

If they don't...then, I've studied this piece pretty hard so I'll probably be able to think of something. It won't be comparable or nearly as good but, that's also something I can do. The bright side is that since there's only a single chapter left- that'd mean.. Things won't flip that drastically within the remaining pages(idk if that's a good or bad thing but for hikaru fans ehh...I doubt things would get any worse than it is because they're STILL keeping that stance that what he's contributed is STILL pretty vague. It's STILL speculations?? So what the heck did he do. Like...why make him say he "didn't do anything" and "didn't want anyone to get hurt" before they dunk him in the waters. What was the point in that. Call me stubborn but nothing about this guy is STILL CLEAR...)

It's really interesting how I still haven't given up on them but who knows... I'd love to start working on my own stories too soon! I wish to complete at least 5 before I die, I want to make 10+ and more!! This work helped me draw so much and so willingly and eagerly, I AM grateful for it.. I really want it to end well. Because I liked it. I want to wish it well...

Oh please just don't make Ryosuke and Nino out of all people be Kamiki's victim I think I know why it appears like it that way rn but THAT has to be overturned before this series has to go. That's what I want in the last chapter, I want them to do that in the very least. That's the BARE minimum for this work to remain meaningful and decent in my eyes I hope I'm not asking for much. I am not.

[cookinguptales]

Finally caught up with Malevolent, and while I do still believe that John's attempts on Oscar's life had more to do with whatever his deal with Kayne was than pure jealousy over Arthur, I think it's so funny that Arthur believes that John loves him with such a childish and possessive desire that he's willing to kill anyone else who might get close to him and is just like...

welp, I guess I'll indulge that.

I mean, I know from his perspective he's like "well, John is my responsibility and I love him and if I don't keep others away from me right now, John will kill them and I couldn't stand that" but from my perspective it sounds an awful lot like "you'll kill anyone I start to love as much as I love you? fair enough!"

I do really think, though, that John understands how much it hurt Arthur to give up Oscar and he wouldn't have made him do it for as petty a reason as Arthur believes. I think John was very much telling him the truth when he said that all that matters to him is Arthur and getting to the Fallen Star. I just think that the latter is probably in some strange service to the former.

Like I do think there's definitely some selfishness in his deal with Kayne, but I got the impression that whatever he chose to do, it was at least partially for Arthur's sake. I could be wrong, of course, but that was the vibe I felt.

...though, to be fair, I do think that John does feel deeply insecure about Arthur's relationship with Oscar. He does dislike sharing Arthur's trust with a human who might be able to give him more than he can; I just don't think that was his primary reason for trying to kill him. Also, I really don't think we're seeing the end of Oscar, who seems to believe that Arthur is his life's true purpose handed down to him by God himself. Oscar asking about John just makes me think that's not nearly as over with as John seems to think. So John may still very much have a rival for Arthur's affections, and one whom he's now given a reason to hate him very much!

[bonefall]

GOD THE ERIN'S THING WITH BIO PARENTS I'm rereading the series and I just got to Hollyleaf's death in The Last Hope and it makes me so mad how Leafpool is the only one who comforts her. Jayfeather only gets to shake and Squirrelflight is just fucking vibing in the background in a battle patrol. Fallen Leaves is more upset than her. SO mad so mad so mad

MAN LIKE... Please understand that I'm saying this with Leafpool love in my Leafpool heart. But it frustrates me immensely that the books went in the direction they did with the parentage of the three. There's SO much wrong here

The plot seems to believe, just post-reveal, that Squilf has to pretend like she doesn't love them so that Ashfur won't kill them (the fuck??)

As if Firestar would just ALLOW an attempted fucking murderer to hang out in his Clan???

Like, go back and read it, she says, "Go ahead Ashfur, kill them, you won't hurt me if you do. They are not my kits." LIKE??

Ashfur: "Wow I totally believe you! I just tried to murder 3 people including a medcat in cold fucking blood and all of you are witnesses now, but rats! I've been foiled! Fire scene cancelled!"

I remember reading this as a kid and being like "This scene sucks. Ashfur would never. Squilf loves her children. 1000000000 lionblazes kill this man now" and little Bones was SO correct

Brambleclaw ABANDONING HIS CHILDREN is just never properly addressed. He was willing to cover up murder earlier in the book for Holly but the minute he finds out they didn't come out of Squilf he's like "nevermind"

He throws a tantrum for all of OotS and then, only at the end, when Squilf calls out that he's throwing his whole family away because he's mad at her, does he reconsider any of his actions.

I think he's entitled to being upset and having his negative emotions, but NOT in how he ended up treating all these people who have been nothing but adoring and apologetic towards him. But nope, no deeper reckoning with that, Squilf does a Cosgrove ass "Hey! Cut it out!" and that's it.

And Leafpool gets put through this too. Leafpool is now completely and fully considered their mom, comforting them as their parent post-reveal. She didn't raise them and yet it's just considered normal that she's the one with a bunch of emotionally soothing scenes with her biokits

Like... I love the idea of her finally being able to acknowledge something she's hidden for so long. But, these cats never saw her as a mother. She was their aunt and their whole life has been rearranged, the emotions they're facing towards this reveal are nothing but negative. Their "father" has also disowned them, treating their mother like shit, and Squilf is keeping her distance believing this is all her own fault.

The feelings here should be SUPER complicated, and that's really JUICY!! We were ROBBED of something waaaay more emotional because of this bizarre commitment to treating bioparents as always better than adopted ones.

OotS kills meee mannn

OH and don't even get me started on how they needed to make Squilf pregnant with Bramblestar's kits in the end because they don't believe adopted kids are equal to bio ones, but also couldn't commit to making their precious Bramble into a bad person who remained adamant about cutting off all his old "family." Alder and Spark should have been Jessy kits and I'll die on this hill

(and also jessy should have cat divorced him after. and also commit to bramble being a toxic parent.)

[kalinara]

So I've mentioned before that I'm really enjoying the Phoenix ongoing. I think the creators are doing a really great job of balancing the idea of Jean as a human being and Jean as a space goddess, and giving her challenges that actually feel epic enough to BE a challenge, while also giving me adorable moments with her grasshopper concubine husband.

I'm hoping they'll be able to continue this for a long time, but I am somewhat realistic. There is likely to be a point where they run out of ideas as to how to write stories about a literal cosmic space goddess, and we're likely to get one of three things happen: Jean dies (I hope not, as it's been done. Multiple times!), Jean as the Phoenix goes flying off into the aether to do god-things elsewhere and MAYBE she'll occasionally pop up in other books as long as she doesn't de-stabilize the plot (which is better, but in practice, I suppose will basically look the same as option one), or be depowered - hopefully to about the level she was in the 90s, where she could be a significant and powerful part of a team without being a total game-breaker - whereupon she's likely to join whichever X-team that Scott is on. (IMO, this is the best option as there'll still be plenty to explore with her.)

So yeah, I'm basically assuming Phoenix will have a fairly limited run time and I'll consider whatever length it ends up being a happy gift to me.

I do have one wishlist item that I really want the series to tackle before its end. And surprise, perhaps, it doesn't actually involve my favorite character as a suffering damsel in distress to fuel Jean's character development. (Mostly because I feel like that's likely to happen anyway.)

My wishlist is this:

I WANT THE FUCKING GREYS BACK.

End of Greys was an incredibly mean-spirited book. I said it and I meant it. Even if you accept that it had to exist to give Rachel more angst and trauma, (I'd point out that she doesn't need it, but well, she IS a Summers), and it DID facilitate a reconciliation between Rachel and Scott - as she finally moved past her anger at him for everything after Jean's death, there is no fucking reason they couldn't have killed them off off-panel.

There was no fucking reason we had to watch the entire fucking family die, one by one, in gruesome ways, until poor Elaine loses her fucking mind and starts yelling at Rachel (because Rachel must suffer - which again, fair, and makes a kind of funny/terrible parallel with Jono's death, cursing Scott's name, in Rosenberg's X-run.)

But anyway, we're decades past that in real time. Rachel and Scott have brand new traumas to bond over. It became yet another pressure to freak out poor teen Jean, but she's gone back to the past and adult Jean is back and a fucking goddess of resurrection.

So let's bring them back!

I don't really care how we do it. Maybe their deaths were faked! The Shi'ar took them for study to try to reproduce whatever led to Jean's Phoenixing to begin with!

Maybe some renegade Shi'ar scientist cloned them, and the clones are off in space awaiting rescue. (I'd probably want to throw in a cloned Katherine Summers, just because I'm greedy and she deserves a chance to have adventures too!)

Maybe Jean just fucking wills them back to life. I don't care. I want John, Elaine, Liam, Sara, and all the countless other Grey relatives back damnit.

[the-weeping-dawn]

Your OC's personalities

ty @arach-tinilith @mogruith and @majorasnightmare for tagging me in this

honestly since I'm late compared to when I was tagged I think I'm out of people who haven't been hit with this one yet. So I'll just give a if you're seeing it feel tagged. Do the questions.

I'll likely do a few but there's the obvious starting point of this fucking disaster

How would you describe Ilztaun’s personality?

A fucking web of contradictions that even taking out that he's very good at faking his personality to match the situation, when comfortable enough he tends to quite reserved, seeming a bit cold, showing very little emotionally. Minus if one were to pay attention while playing his lyre which often gives far more away. Unless of course, and most often when protecting the very few people he cares deeply about, in which case he's anything but and is willing to rip and burn through anything in his way. Often while refusing to shut up at them. And yet never seems to remember the concept of vicious mockery in these times, because that would require him to be handling it in his normal slightly performative and still a little dramatic way.

What brings Ilztaun joy?

Music. Even when seeing most of himself as worth nothing more than what use he could be for others, the one thing he always took pride in was being a skilled musician, and while he has an incredibly sharp memory in general, he's far more for song, and able to recall and transcribe complex pieces he heard maybe once years ago. Hand him some strange and hard to play instrument and watch him get fucking giddy trying to work it out.

He respects almost no one, even when he had near no autonomy over his life he found ways to be in control of as much as he could, and once he had no one to stop him, quickly finding the exact way to get under people, particularly authority figures, up to and very much including gods those aspiring to be one, and so on, skin and just start burrowing in. Raphael most of all since they can both be theatrical little shits, and they will match one another's energy without fail, and he'll just have an impish glee at seeing where he clearly scripted his whole apperance, and he's going to be pulled as far from it as he can manage. He won't even let him finish the little Comyr rhyme because in that short of a time he can tell it would just annoy him so fucking much if Ilz finished for him. Really Raphael just brings him endless joy to deal with as much as he also hates him, he also would show up to a month of rehearsals for a final fight if told about the song.

Solving problems, puzzles, people who are also kind of just puzzles to him, knowing he's managed to nudge someone into holding a position completely against where they started before they could even see what had happened...

Poisons. Learning how to mix them, creating new ones. Generally he's fond of botany and potion crafting but he truly does enjoy a fun bit of poison.

Knowing he's actually wanted not for a version he presented for that end but as himself.

Also cats. Cats, he respects. (Generally fond of animals but holds a bit of an admiration for how little someone else can control a cat. )

What does your character strongly dislike?

Having his position in a situation presumed, again specifically if it's someone who acts though they're above him. Even when his life was just becoming a tool for his house, or single friend, it likely wasn't true as far as he's concerned. And he's petty and can hold grudges that might be over solved situations for centuries. And will.

Is Ilztaun scared of anything?

That the few people he's finally been willing to trust and be vulnerable with, for, from the encouragement of, were just using him and see him as disposable as he had burned into his mind from as long as he can remember. He'll be an efficient knife, but let him know that's what he is.

How little it seems he knew his own heart.

That he knows how easily he'd hand back his strings if told to in the right way by the right person. To have again seen a glimpse at a life and future that was actually his, and have it taken from him. Again. When brought back to Menzoberranzan after studying as a bard, with the plan having been to slip away and continue performing, he refused to let himself have any personal wants again. And it could just be an even shorter flicker of what he could have been after all...

What is their alignment?

Chaotic Neutral, leaning more on the good end of things

[sandrayofsun]

Gagged with a capital G - EP. 8

Holy mother of God I don't even know what happened to me when this episode ended. I think I ascended to heaven and back. This is going to be a long post filled with thoughts and feelings (and I have no one else to talk about this to) so buckle up!

Starting off with this first scene... not even 2 mins in and I was already tearing up. This entire conversation was so interesting to me because BOTH of them are fully aware of their feelings, yet neither one is willing to speak up. Ray is "happy" to be with Mew, and Sand is "happy" that Ray finally got who he wanted (supposedly🙁).

Major props to sand for standing his ground during this conversation even though you could see unshed tears in his eyes (go First!!!!🤞). You can feel the love he has for Ray simmering beneath but also the dejection that he feels towards seeing that Ray picked Mew.

This is not the face of someone who is happy with the decision they made. Khaotung really stepped up his acting in this scene because I swear I saw like 18 emotions go through him all at once (slay my king!!🤌). He has formed such a strong attachment to Sand and is now realizing what it means to have chosen someone else (and I don't think he feels too good about it).

THIS WHOLE SEQUENCE!!!!! Sand asking for Ray to let him go, and RAY LOOKING AT HIM LIKE THAT!!!! This had me seriously gagged to the core, I didn't even know what to do. Looking at it simply, they are both just sad. Sad at the fact that they know they can't be friends, but also won't admit their feelings, but it bothers them that they don't have each other😭. Seeing what unfolded afterwards with Yo and Plug was even a bigger eye opener for them because it was a direct parallel.

~~~MOVING ON!~~~

I think all of us got a little excited we we're going to get the "now that you've walked into my life..." scene, however, I actually really enjoyed this scene in between everything else that was happening because it shows Ray's dynamic with Sand during a regular time, right after showing his dynamic with Mew (pre-halloween). It gives us insight into the fact that despite Ray being with Mew, it still isn't enough for him. He is still wondering why Sand won't answer his messages, and still wants to spend time with him, even though they had that conversation at the bar and Sand asked to be let go. Ray can't/won't let go of Sand. *Bonus cute Ray pouty face*

What's funny to me is that Ray doesn't even realize what it means that he craves Sand's company. He has no problem verbalizing that being with Sand makes him happy (also in their bar conversation🧐) and isn't shy about asking to spend time with him. Yet, Sand still calls out the fact that Ray can spend time with Mew, but Ray doesn't even acknowledge it. Even using the excuse of Mew not being able to play instruments as a justification for seeking out Sand.

^^^^ I mean seriously look at that cute little face rn. I don't even blame Sand for folding like a wet tissue because I too would fold.

~~~MOVING ON PT.2~~~

The entire SandRay Halloween party sequence was BONKERS. I must applaud FirstKhao because they are mopping the floor with the other couples as far as chemistry goes (no shade to the other couples!!! I'll touch on them in a separate post).

POSSESSIVE RAY STANS STAND UPPPPP😩!!!!

Finally we have Ray witnessing the consequences of his actions. Literally seeing him looming behind Sand and the other guy, pushing him away, questioning Sand about what he's doing, saying he wants to sleep with him, then kissing him to establish dominance over the other guy. CHEF'S KISS😮‍💨. Now, obviously anyone with eyes can tell this behavior is toxic, but I simply have not seen this possessive side of Ray with anyone, not even Mew. It was nice to see Sand getting a little bit of attention in that regard. Was it healthy? No. Does Sand deserve better? Yes. But was it hot as hell and real as fuck? 100%.

FIRST KANAPHAN THE MAN THAT YOU ARE😩

He looked good enough to eat in his costume (I'm sorry I had to say it or I was gonna scream lol). I don't blame Ray for seeing his (boy)friend flirting with someone else while looking like that😭. Anyways, Sand standing his ground ONCE AGAIN was so elite of him, he refuses to be number 2 and I am here for it.

Listen guys... Say what you want but Ray ate this little bit up lmao. I chose to take this as progress in a way because Ray is finally bringing up the feelings between the two, and Sand made himself clear that he will not settle for less than first *no pun intended*. I must also state that I found Ray's possessiveness funny lmao because he had literally JUST kissed Mew (love of his life or whatever🙄) and then goes and get's pissed at Sand for even looking at someone else. And also kisses him?? Did he really need to get rid of Mew's kiss that badly🤨??

~~~Last scene hehe~~~

Sorry this post ran a little long but if you made it this far you're Sexy.

Sand throwing literally any beef he had with Ray out the window and into the rubbish bin to help him made my heart ache a little. No matter what Ray does, Sand will always be his emergency staff, no complaints, no conditions, no questions asked. Going as far as to lie to a police officer and coming up with excuses to help him shows how far Sand is willing to go for Ray. I hope this is something the Ray takes note of and appreciates.

This whole part honestly was pretty hard to watch, especially with the police brutality that a lot of people face around the world. I think the show did a good job of showing what this can look like on a smaller scale, and calling attention to it.

It once again showed Sand's loyalty to Ray, trying to hold on to him when the cops grabbed him, and telling him to stay still. Putting myself in his shoes, idk if I could bare the visual of the person I love getting handled that way.

Overall, this may be my favorite episode of the entire series. and I will say that it finally felt like FirstKhao were getting the screen time they deserved.

I physically gasped when I saw the preview for next week's episode because we're getting communication, and uninterrupted SandRay road trip (yeehaw😎).

Sorry again for this long post

See you guys next week!!

[cfr749]

What’s your opinion on the Valentine’s Day storyline? specifically Tim being upset with Lucy and just how it was written in general?

Hi anon!

Thanks for the ask! I'm sorry it took me so long to get back to you!

So I will admit my feelings have evolved a bit on this particular storyline especially in context of season 6 (which I am enjoying so far).

I'll start with my thoughts on the whole five-player-trade thing since those storylines were so intermingled (and apparently that whole thing is going to be the gift that keeps on giving 😂).

Side note: I still wish they would have just dealt with the repercussions of the whole TO/Rookie superior/subordinate thing directly instead of inventing all this sorcery when they could have just acknowledged the inherent misogyny and sexism they've already admitted exists.

We still could have had the cuteness of the group scene and all the plotting to find an opening for Tim without making Lucy out to be a manipulator.

But for whatever reason, they really didn't seem comfortable dealing with the power dynamic issues and repercussions head on, so now I guess we get to see Aaron try to date his therapist instead 😂😬

But at least it seems like they are trying to fix their framing this season by making it clear to the audience that Lucy is the one being wronged, so that's a good thing in my book even though it's hard to see her struggle.

So, after all that, you will be shocked to hear that I wasn't a huge fan of Lucy's choice to do the five-player-trade thing 😂.

I do understand why Tim was upset with her. I think doing what she did behind his back was a problem. Don't get me wrong, though -- they both failed majorly at adult communication 101 here.

Tim should have talked to her before he made the decision to switch positions. Had they discussed it, I don't think Lucy would have felt the same level of responsibility and pressure that she did to make sure Tim wouldn't be stuck in a role he hated. Mostly because she never would have agreed to him taking a desk position and they would have had to work together to come up with another solution. From there, the story could have unfolded very differently.

Tim made a choice behind her back that impacted their relationship, but only his career. Lucy went behind Tim's back and made a choice that ultimately impacted both of their careers.

But, at the end of the day, Tim 100% came out of the situation a winner. And Lucy is continuing to pay the price. As happy as I am that Tim finally acknowledged Primm's role in the outcome of Lucy's detective exam, I am actually pretty disappointed that we haven't seen any actual acknowledgement from him that Lucy is in the position she's in now specifically because she didn't want him to be unhappy.

Lucy's choices were her own, and now she's gotta live with that, but there's no question that she did what she did out of love. And it sucks that we haven't seen any direct appreciation for what she was willing to risk for him, even if he wasn't a fan of the execution.

I had to go back and watch some clips from this episode in order to respond to this, and I have to say it actually gutted me to see how genuinely happy and proud and excited Lucy was for Tim when he got the promotion. Especially juxtaposed against Lucy learning that as much as Tim loves her and wants to support her, he really isn't able to fully get behind her on her dream, which is, of course, understandable, given his past, but still just really heartbreaking for Lucy.

When I initially watched the five-player-trade episode, I was just waiting for Tim to pop up at Smitty's trailer in his own hazmat suit to help Lucy. I thought he would be a little irritated about Lucy going behind his back, but ultimately I though we'd see him acknowledging and appreciating just how much she was willing to do to make sure he was happy (forget torpedoing her career -- she cleaned Smitty's trailer for god's sake!).

Moving into the V-day episode...

First off, boo on Tim for bailing on V-day breakfast (even is she was up late catching up with Noah 😂).

Even though I understood why Tim was upset, I don't love avoidant Tim (looking at you, beginning of 6x02 Tim 😂). Lucy of course deals with it because she does genuinely love him and understands how he operates, but this is something I do think he needs to work on and I'd like to see change over the course of the relationship. As much as I loved their Rookie-T.O. dynamic, there are definitely aspects of it that don't belong in a healthy relationship.

Back to the point, I do think what Lucy did was misguided and short-sighted (and unbelievably sweet). I do think she should have actually apologized (sorry not sorry doesn't count 😂).

But, while we're at it, Tim can apologize for making a major life decision without talking to her first also... 😂

The scene at the end was cute; I like it better now than I did when it originally aired. Some actual heat over "fuel for later" would have been great but it is, of course, The Rookie. And I do wish they would have made the gift somehow meaningful for them to give the scene a little bit more weight (think when Jackson gave Lucy the St. Michael pendant), but hey, at least we got the trophy this season 🥰.

Ultimately, it didn't make me feel a whole lot, and it's not a scene that makes the list when I think of my favorite moments for them.

And watching it back did highlight (IMO) the contrast between what we've seen so far in season 6 vs. the bulk of what we saw in season 5. And while angst is part of it, for me, I think it's more about giving us a story that (at least occasionally) goes beyond the surface level (Tim was mildly irritated! Lucy was sassy and silly!) and explores the character's emotions in a way that makes them more human and relatable.

What were your thoughts on this storyline??

[s-wave-entertainment]

⚠️ SPOILERS FOR MURDER DRONES EP. 8 INBOUND ⚠️

Okay so I was locked out of my account until like a while ago ago and I haven't posted any of my thoughts on ep. 8. Let me be abundantly clear: I liked this episode. I liked it a lot. I was prepared to watch the entire cast die in terrible ways, for no one to make it out and to watch that screen go black with only a monotonous giggle to spare as we watched the universe as we know it return to square one. Yes, most of the cast still died horribly, but at least it wasn't permanent (unless you're Doll - I'm so sorry queen I love you I miss you). That said, there are aspects OF the episode that left me... desiring more. I hesitate to say disappointed, as Liam seems to have told the story he wanted to tell and for that I am proud of him, but... I have thoughts, as most of us do.

Let me start with some positives - what I liked and why I liked it.

Pros:

- Nori and Uzi did finally get to have that talk. Now I'll go more into this later, as I do wish there could have been more, but for the most part, I'm happy it happened at all.

- SPACESHIP PILOT. And not just because it was cute and adorable and oh my God I love him, but because it was a callback to a detail in the SECOND EPISODE that was not left behind. Liam set that up all that time back, and it was so very satisfying to see it become relevant. Gold star, Mr. Vickers! :D

- NUZI canon. Do I even have to elaborate? (Your honor, these stupid robots mean EVERYTHING TO ME-)

- V's return. HOLD YOUR FIRE, HOLD YOUR FIRE; LISTEN. I know what I said - I know I said I hoped her sacrifice was permanent. For a little while, I really did. I genuinely saw it as a fitting end to her character; to say the things she could never quite get out in words in one deafeningly loud action. And I still would have, if it remained permanent. But you know what else I see as extremely accurate and fitting to her character? Being able to make a plan in a desperate situation, but not having the certainty to know if it will work. Then, having the heart to send everyone else to what she genuinely thought was some kind of safety in the case that whatever plan she had made fell through. It wasn't that Liam wanted to retcon that part of her character - he was trying to elaborate on it. The point of it was, V loved N. And she was starting to love Uzi - even if she'd never say it. And she was still willing to do anything to keep them safe, even if it POTENTIALLY meant sacrificing herself. That part didn't change.

- I'm jumping ahead a little here, but it was too perfect of a segway into my next point - V's confession. I knew, I KNEW this girly was just scared of what could happen to them. I didn't understand her until ep. 6, but once I did, it clicked immediately. I'm sure we all realized that V knew more than she was letting on, but I knew that there was more to it. I knew she knew there would be consequences if N ever found out, I KNEW it. To hear her finally confess all of that... it's gratifying.

- The Entire Hallway Callback Ping Scene. The whole fucking thing. I sometimes pull up the episode JUST to see that scene. I can't exactly put into words WHAT IT IS I like about it, but I just. What I can say is (and this is gonna feel really weird to say) that I love how we get to see that Uzi's actions in ep. 5 aren't just a convenient plot thing - he is actively uncovering memories. Now in the hallway scene they were uncovered in a Very Inconvenient Way, but I love to see that this is canonically a thing that is happening and will likely continue to happen. It leaves a lot to the imagination (post-canon wise) and I respect it. And just, to see Uzi going for him as they both sat there in their own personal hells - I've said it before that they need each other, and I FUCKING MEANT IT. And if anyone attempts to say codependent because I've heard that before - it's not that, it's just that they're actually??? There??? For each other??? Like y'all, Uzi had NO ONE (except for maybe Thad, maybe) before she had N. Was it self inflicted? Yes and no - we can very clearly see that Uzi WANTED to talk to people, she WANTED to Not Be Alone, but it just,,, it didn't work because of who she was. And she kinda learned that "Well if people don't want me, then fine - I'll go it alone." and then built up those walls she had for so very long. And N???? Do I even need to say anything here???? J hated his ass for undisclosed reasons (I'll get to that later) and V Literally Couldn't Get Close To Him or she risked him getting changed - or worse. They were both alone until they weren't anymore, and they learned that despite prior hardships, at least this person is safe.

I think as far as SPECIFIC SCENES/INSTANCES go, that's it. But let me say, I also loved the comedy of this episode. I've heard some people say it was majorly overdone and some of the lighter scenes should have been left out (for at least one of them I agree but I'll get to that in cons), but I also maintain that if the comedy was removed from this episode it would have been. Well, it would have been /not/ Murder Drones. Liam had always made his eldrige horrors with jokes. Look at Internecion Cube, look at CliffSide - it's everywhere. It's Liam's style, and quite frankly, I'm thankful for it - without said style things likely could have been very, /very/ dark. I understand that's what some people wanted, but like,,, the show itself is already EXTREMELY dark, if you think about it. The comedy just helps it to feel digestible - and again, quite frankly, I'm thankful.

Alright, alright, here we go:

CONS:

- Nori and Uzi had a talk, for that I am incredibly grateful. But you know who else should have gotten a talk? Khan and Nori. And hang on, I'm not just bitching here - Khan has been very plain and straightforward about his distaste for Disassembly Drones/The Absolute Solver (even though he didn't know it by name) for what they did to Nori since literally episode 1. To pass off their reunion as a spoof was... disappointing. Now I won't say /much/, how they both reacted seems incredibly valid for their character, but like... I'm also pretty damn sure that Khan would have remembered Nori's voice? Like yeah he thought about it for a minute but like... I dunno. I can't speak much on his character anyway since we didn't get to see a lot of it. I have my opinions on Khan (and they have shifted since my last post about him, if slightly), but I still think he deserved to have that catch-up with his wife and I will be rectifying this "error" in fanfiction.

- J. And I don't mean her character (which I'm a little pissed at but I'll talk about that some other time), I mean a little something more. One has to make /a lot/ of assumptions about J to assume you have her character correct, and I'm sad for that. Have I made the assumptions, yes, and even with those in place, I'm still,,, perturbed for her. We got a little glimpse of who she is while she fought with V, but like... there could have been so much more there, and I wish there was.

- I'm not gonna say too much about open plot holes - we ALL KNOW there are plot holes. For example, HOW IN THE FUCK DID THEY PIECE THE PLANET BACK TOGETHER AFTER IT LITERALLY EXPLODED. There are also people who are still irked about the whole "consume oil to prevent overheating" thing, which I get, but like he DID say himself that he had largely dropped that in terms of plot importance. I choose to believe it's still very much a thing (I think the images in the credits prove that as often when N and Uzi are there together like in the movie watching scene or the card game scene there is a deceased worker nearby), but still. Yk.

- N and Uzi never "talked later." I want that goddammit and I'm going to write a fanfic about it later, don't you worry.

- J and V's whole thing. I really, REALLY wish more had been said about that - but alas, it was not. It looks to me like V and J knew about it together. J doesn't give a damn about N (never has, canonically anyway) and V was keeping it from him to protect him, but if they knew what was going on, I wish that would have been more apparent earlier in the series. However, I can understand why it wasn't - J was absent in the series from ep. 2- the end of ep. 5, and when she did have shared screen time with V in the pilot the show had a very different direction. So I'm not MAD about this lack of elaboration (and quote frankly it has fueled a whole fuckton of headcanons for me), but still - I wish we saw more.

I think that's it as far as specifics go. Let me address the elephant in the room - "Myrah, you're not mad about the way they defeated the Solver via a gag/the power of friendship?" And quite frankly, the answer is no. Why? Well I'll yell ya:

1) We already knew that the only way to permakill a drone (or otherwise any creature) affiliated with the Solver is to destroy it's heart. Leaving them exposed to heat will make them sluggish (so long as it's not accompanied by UV rays), and destroying them any other way results in that black hole [NULL] that we're familiar with via episode 2. Uzi destroyed the heart WITH UV rays (just like Nori told her to), and then when the [NULL] appeared, "Cyn" struggled with her and kept trying to pull her hand towards her mouth. There's a shot that shows us Uzi's visor shortly after "Cyn" pulls her hand in which her expression turns from fear to realization as it hits her that "Cyn" is trying to EAT the [NULL]. Figuring there must be a reason for this, she does it herself - which does the job. With major consequences (I'll get into that post credits scene in a minute), but regardless, "Cyn" is defeated.

2) Hey yeah remember how Doll insisted on doing everything alone and she was the one dead? I'm pretty sure this was Liam literally showing us that you cannot defeat the Solver on your own. That's like the main difference between Doll and Uzi anyway - one insisted on doing it herself (with good reason, I'm not judging Doll for trying to fix things alone) and the other allowed people to help her. People that, by the way, were also heavily affiliated with the Solver. Basically, it would be different if this ending had occurred with three random Worker Drones rather than three drones who are tied to the Solver - because it went the way it did, the Solver was essentially defeated by its own creations who were tired of its bullshit and now knew the full extent of what it had done and what it had forced them to do, which I find Fucking Awesome (also I just love the Dapper Trio, sue me).

Emotional connections and emotions in general are so important in terms of overcoming the effect the Solver has on a drone's consciousness/body. This isn't news because we SAW IT, PLAIN AND SIMPLE, in both episodes 4 AND 5. Of course I'm not upset they used preestablished rules to end the series - quite frankly, I would have been mad if they pulled out some magical mystery cure "here's the solution to the exact thing you're supposed to do" bullshit.

In short, no, I'm not upset with the finale of Murder Drones. I really loved the episode, despite its flaws and shortcomings. And if you disagree, well then how about you bite me.

[theseusernamesarehard]

Stuck on the puzzle: Chapter five

previous | next | masterlist

pairing: Luke Castellan x Olivia Messer (daughter of Apollo oc)

summary: Luke hurts Olivia once again and it takes them right back to their first fight.

word count: 3,5k

"You don't know what you're doing", Chris told Luke.

They were sitting in the empty Hermes cabin, Luke was finally dismissed and didn't have to spend his nights in the infirmary. He just had to go there twice a day for a checkup, although Chris notified him that he was there a lot more. The kids were off at archery practice, so the counselor and interim counselor had some time to talk while Luke unpacked.

"I know", Luke sighed. "I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around her, but after everything, I'll take what I can get."

"There has to be a reason why she's being friendly again. Maybe she just needed the time to cool off."

"She's hasn't been able to stay mad at me for longer than a day in three years and suddenly she goes eight months? It wasn't just cooling off. I think she never meant to talk to me again unless she had to."

"But now she is."

"When I came back she suggested a deal where we act like everything is fine and nothing ever happened between us", Luke pondered. "I think it was supposed to just be until she can get the poison out, but it's been a week now. It might be for good."

"There's no way you can just keep being friends when she cut you off for eight months and you don't even know why. You two have to talk about it."

"But do we? If I bring it up it might just end up the same way it always did when I tried to mend things. She's going to yell at me and close off from everyone around her. I finally have her back."

"Do you?"

"Pretty much yeah."

"You feel like you can just casually hold her hand while you two roam around camp again? Throw her in the lake or sneak her in here when you can't sleep? As much as you two were 'just friends' you sure didn't act like it."

Luke blushed.

"I think that if you can't do those things anymore, things are not back to the way it was. And besides, there's the whole Theo issue."

"Theo issue?"

"Athena cabin counselor who clearly likes her and who she doesn't push away like she's been doing to everyone else in her life lately."

"And why is that an issue?"

Although Luke knew exactly why it was, an uncomfortable feeling growing in his chest.

"I don't know Luke, why is it?"

He didn't respond.

"I think the kids are about done with archery", he said instead.

"I'll get them to lunch. But this conversation isn't over", Chris sighed.

Once he left, Luke plopped on his bed and looked at the wooden ceiling, thoughts starting to race through his head at an alarming rate as they had been lately. He finally understood the dragon that tried to claw his face off. He felt like he had a hundred heads as well.

One head didn't think he had anything to complain about. He'd finally gotten his best friend back, which was something that he'd prayed from an embarrassing amount of gods, he was back at camp and best of all, he was alive. Was there even anything else to ask for?

Yes. There were so many things Luke still wanted. He wanted to forget the fact that he ever went on that stupid quest. But he wanted his father to do anything except go back to ignoring him like he did before. So maybe he didn't want to erase the quest. He wanted to have succeeded in that quest. He wanted to receive anything other than the looks of pity he was getting. He wanted his goddamn kleos, felt entitled to it actually, and that feeling brought out a head that he hadn't seen since their years on the run with Annabeth and Thalia. One he didn't particularly like.

And then there was one head. The one was always able to crawl its way to his consciousness, even if he had bigger, more important matters at hand. The head had been suffocated for a bit, willed out of existence, but it was back and filled with thoughts of curly hair that Luke liked playing with, a soft smile that made life worth living and eyes that felt like they could x-ray his soul. Even in his darkest moments, alone in the silence when he felt like all there was left to do was rip apart this world and build a better one by his design, his thoughts wondered over to the person he wanted to build it for. Whose hurt and pain should be his to carry just because he was already too lucky, too blessed to just be able to exist in her vicinity.

Luke's thoughts always found their way back to Olivia. To Liv.

Who looked like she was regretting ever meeting him. Luckily she didn't slam the infirmary door in his face, although he knew it was close.

"Don't tell me you played", she sighed.

Her brown eyes were fixated on his face, clearly hoping for an answer he couldn't give. He looked down when he couldn't bear looking at her.

"If it helps, he was on defense", Annabeth Chase replied.

Yes, Luke was so scared of her, of losing her, that he had to beg his adorable little sister, who he knew Olivia had an extra soft spot for, to take him. Incase that maybe stopped her from ghosting him again.

"You're un-fucking-believeable", she huffed and dragged him in.

Annabeth followed, seemingly finding this whole situation a tad bit amusing.

"I didn't think anything would happen! Like Annabeth said, I was on defense, I just wanted-",

"You wanted your honor, your kleos, didn't you? Just admit it. Admit that you haven't changed, you still need to show everyone how tough you are and you don't care who ends up being collateral!"

"No one's collateral."

"It's exactly like last time. You think you can do whatever because I have this goddamn blood that's going to fix everything and you don't even think about what giving it away does! Nobody does! It's like I'm not even a person. Just a healing concoction that happens to also administer the dose. I'm the fucking collateral."

Annabeth didn't find it so funny anymore. People recovering from the game were silently leaving the infirmary, trying to avoid getting into the crossfire. Annabeth started slowly stepping out as well with the excuse that she needed to help the people figure out where they could do the healing now.

"Sit down, Luke."

"Come on, Liv."

"Sit down. I'll patch up your cheek."

She wiped her face, trying to get rid of the tears inconspicuously, but Luke saw, or rather he knew. And he cursed himself for hurting her again. He was longing for the times when all he meant to her was comfort, something to take the pain away, not cause it.

"I really don't think of you like that, Liv."

"It's what everyone thinks of me at some point. Just hurts more when you do it."

She took off his gauze, which was now stained slightly with blood.

"I'll just redo the stitches. The strain made it open up again."

She was back to being cold, there was no glimmer in her eyes, no soft smile reserved only for him. He felt like going back to San Fransisco and letting that dragon finish the job.

"Will you ever talk to me again?" his voice was weak and in another life he might've felt embarrassed, but he was so scared that he was willing to go down on his knees and beg her if it meant he could have her back.

"I'll clean it, which might hurt a little bit."

"More than this. Liv, please I can't do this again. I can't have you not talk to me again."

"I don't know if I can do this, Luke", she sighed. "I'm tired."

And she did look it. Eyes red with crying, eyebags deep and dark, matching Luke's. He wondered if she had gotten a full nights sleep since they stopped talking. He for sure hadn't. And he still didn't fully know what it was about.

Last fall, Olivia and Luke had started school once again. Olivia went into her junior year and Luke had his last year of high school. Luke's senior year had begun exceptionally well. He was doing fine in his classes and the nightmares were finally easing up. The more time he spent with his school friends in New York, the less he seemed to struggle. They helped him take his mind off the other world they didn't even know existed. Especially Sheila. Sheila, who he found he really liked. And who was nice to kiss. So they started dating. Which meant that Luke was spending even more time in the city with her.

Meanwhile Olivia's life was starting to go downhill, quick. There was a weird infection going around camp. It was some sort of internal poisoning, which meant that she was constantly giving blood, organizing shifts for the infirmary and overall trying to keep everyone alive. Her iron was low, she felt dizzy all the time and she wasn't sleeping for a few reasons. Her nightmares hadn't eased up, in fact they seemed to be getting worse with the stress and now that Luke had a girlfriend, they obviously couldn't share a bed. Which she understood. And she wanted to be happy for him, really did, but she just didn't have the energy.

Especially when it felt like he was flat out ignoring her. She noticed that their joint breakfasts' were only happening when she sat down at his table and decided to see if he'd notice her absence and join her at her own table. So they stopped having breakfast together. He didn't seem to realize or care how stressful her life had become, since he was too busy recapping events and parties he was going to in the city and although he always asked her, he didn't bother to concern himself with the fact that she could never go.

But the last stitch happened on October 2nd. October 2nd was the day Olivia's mom died, the day she was left with no one in the world to look out for her and chucked into a foster home. She eventually found the note her mom was trying to write to her about her origins and found the address to camp Half-Blood through that, but it was preceded by the absolute worst months of her life. So saying it's a hard day was an understatement. But Luke had always made it better. He always had something special planned and he somehow managed to make it into a somewhat nice day. You're never going to look forward to the anniversary of your mom's death, but at least trying to figure out what Luke would do for it gave it some other meaning.

So when he ended up going to Sheila's straight after school, Olivia went back to camp and cried in her bed. She had wanted to continue that activity for the whole day, but seeing she had ten new sick campers, some of which were her siblings and co-healers, she got a good half an hour before she had to get back to work.

So when Luke came home injured from a run-in with a hellhound, she was less than pleased to be woken up. Reason one being that she was actually sleeping finally and reason number two being that of course she had to heal him. Which to her credit, she did.

"Thanks, Liv. That dog really had it out for me", he chuckled.

Luke was flashing his signature smirk, which Olivia had once found borderline irresistible. Now it was just annoying. And a little bit irresistible. The smirk was dropped quickly when she didn't respond and just started returning the things to their places.

"Why the long face, doc?"

That was admittedly the worst question he could've asked at that point. She let out a laugh that sounded an awful lot like a sob to Luke.

"You know that's probably the first question you've asked me in a month."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing."

"Come on, Liv", he grabbed her arm, pulling him towards him.

"Don't do that", she warned.

"Then just tell me, what's going on with you?"

Olivia sighed.

"Do you know what day it is?"

"Tuesday, why?"

"What date Luke?"

His face dropped.

"Shit. Fuck, sorry Liv I didn't-I didn't even realize. I don't know how I forgot."

"I do. It's like you've been ignoring me. We haven't had breakfast together in ages, you only hang out with Sheila during and after school and you haven't even bothered to check in on me on the rare occasion we do get to talk."

"Why haven't you said anything?"

"I have enough on my fucking plate already. Which you would know if you bothered to care about me."

"Of course I care about you, are you kidding?"

"Well you don't really show it, do you?"

Luke sighed.

"Sheila asked me to take some distance from you. I didn't mean to flat out ignore you, but I figured it was fair."

"Fair", she let it hang in the air.

"You know how it looks from the outside, you get as much shit for it as I do. This was always going to become a problem eventually."

That made her properly tear up.

"Doesn't take away from the fact that I really needed you today. I've actually needed you for a long time, but especially today. Everyone's sick, I'm already giving out too much blood and everybody expects me and me alone to fix it."

Luke took her hand and interlaced it with his own.

"And I used to be able to handle it. Feeling like everyone is thrusting the weight of the world on my shoulders was fine when I had you. When I had one fucking person that didn't expect everything of me. Who instead knew how it felt."

Luke was silent, cursing himself. Olivia took her hand out of his.

"But now you're becoming just like everyone. You don't care how I feel anymore, you don't stop to think about me. You're blowing off your duties not thinking about who they fall on or not bothering to check in with what's going on in the camp 'cause you're too focused on yourself."

"That's not fair, Olivia. That's not fucking fair and you know it."

She didn't like the way he said her name. Her full name.

"I've given up so much for other people", Luke began. "I've been on my own since I was nine, I took care of Thalia and Annabeth, I run the biggest cabin in the camp. It's me who takes in the new kids, assures them. I'm their older brother, their parent, whatever they didn't get growing up and I get nothing. I think I deserve some time to be a teenager."

"And I don't?"

"Never said you didn't. But you can't put it all on me. Maybe you should let other people in too."

"It's not that easy."

"You could try, though."

She glared at him.

"Come on. You can't blame others for expecting you to carry the world on your shoulders if you try to put yours on mine. It's the same thing! You're just relying on me for constant support with everything."

"I thought you wanted to support me."

There was no more anger, no yelling. Just a teenage girl who was losing trust in the one person she thought loved her.

"I do. I do, but I can't do it forever."

"Let's not be friends."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Let's not be friends than. If you can't do this forever, why prolong the time you have me to drag down your life? No more hanging out, no more talking, we can maybe say hi to each other and that's it."

"That's not funny."

"I'm not trying to be. It's what Sheila wants and clearly what you want as well. You'll be free from me and all my fucking baggage."

"Liv, let's just think about this."

"No. No more Liv. No more we. I'll be Olivia from now on. Liv is what friends call me."

"You can't be serious. You're not throwing this away."

"Maybe we've just grown apart. A lot of people don't talk to their childhood best friend."

"We're more than just 'childhood friends'."

Luke didn't know it, but that was the worst thing he could've ever said. Hearing the words she'd been hoping to hear for the last years in the wrong context solidified the fact that Olivia couldn't bear to be friends with him while loving him the way she did.

So she walked out, got Lee to do the rest of Luke's healing and refused to go in the infirmary until he was dismissed.

Eventually it was found out that the strawberries had been cursed by some weird disease and the epidemic stopped. But Olivia still wouldn't speak to Luke despite him trying everything. He broke up with Sheila immediately, followed Olivia around for days and spoke extensive monologues riddled with apologies. Eventually she threatened him with her knife and that made him stop. But it didn't stop his shocked face appearing in her dreams. Those brown eyes looking in shock at the knife she'd angled at his throat and despite Olivia repeating in her mind that it was for her own good, it didn't make the pain any easier.

And they once again arrived at the same place, months later. There were too many feelings unspoken, too many words unsaid. For two people who knew each other better than anyone had ever known them, they seemed to have certain blindspots.

"Liv, I swear. I'll do anything you ask me to, anything. I'll never get hurt again, I'll never tell you you're a bad singer, whatever you want. Please. Just don't leave me."

"That's the problem Luke. It'a not about you getting hurt, it's not about you making fun of my singing."

"Then what is it about? I know you want me to just know and I wish I did, but I don't! I know absolutely everything about you except this and it kills me."

"I just need some time to think. Alone. Lee can deal with the rest."

Luke just nodded and turned his head. Olivia had never felt so bad, but she couldn't do it. It wasn't even about the fact that Luke played, it was all the feelings that him being hurt caused her. When he showed up she realized she'd never loved him more and he'd once again taken her for granted. As someone who was there, who was his friend, in the background. Olivia didn't want a future where she had to stand at the altar and watch Luke marry someone else. Or where she had to look his dead body in the eyes and once again have someone she could've saved haunting her. She had to cut him off. They didn't work, even though she felt like Luke was all she was.

She was so deep in thought she didn't even notice Annabeth trailing her all the way to the forest until the little girl opened her mouth.

"He feels the same way, you know", Annabeth said, scaring Olivia.

"Christ Annabeth!" Olivia put away the knife she'd reflexively drawn. "You can't just go around following people."

"Luke's just an idiot who doesn't know anything about anyone, least of all himself, but I can see that you're the most important person in his life. And I'm counting myself in that."

"He sure doesn't show it", Olivia muttered. She really didn't want to have this conversation with an 11-year-old, but she was intrigued to know more.

"Doesn't he? He might not say it, but I've never seen him more scared than just now, when he realized he'd lose you again. He hasn't been himself since your fight and now he's going around sulking all the time if he isn't with you. I know Luke is clueless about his feelings, but I didn't expect the same from you Olivia."

"It's not that simple. Maybe he has feelings for me, so what? That doesn't mean everything will magically fall into place. You just said he doesn't even know it", she took a deep breath. "I love him so much it sometimes feels physically painful. That's not something I can just 'not realize'. I don't want to feel this much for someone who can just go and date Sheila fucking Widows and ignore me because she asked!"

Olivia had never revealed to anyone why she was really so upset at Luke, but since Annabeth seemed to once again know everything about anyone, she had to let it out.

"Didn't he break up with Sheila based on sheer hope it would make you talk to him again? You should take into account the fact that maybe Luke ignores his feeling because he's scared."

"Luke's barely scared of anything. I feel like he could handle a crush."

"It's not a crush. Anyone can see it's not just that."

"I don't want to waste my energy on this. It's easier to just let the entire thing go."

"Easy? Has it been easy for you? Staying away from Luke. Because from what I can see you're doing absolutely terrible and there's a simple solution."

"No offense, but you're eleven. I think I know what's best in this situation", Olivia huffed and started walking away.

"You're doing exactly what Luke is doing, hiding your feelings away because you don't want to face them!" Annabeth said after her.

Olivia kept walking away. Annabeth sighed in annoyance. Luke and Olivia were two pieces of a puzzle, it was clear to everyone. So why were they getting so stuck on solving it?

[goldom]

I have been informed by people [let's be honest, you reading this] that I am nowhere near the end, so here goes 3.1 part 4 of A Lot.

Starting off strong with "I think we should kill Tribbie [and eat her??]" —signed, Evil Guy

How we feelin' about that "Oronyx is lucid and willing to work with humanity" today?

Neither here nor there but I'm feeling there's a potential joke in here with Stelle/baseball/Tribbie/"triple play."

...I guess not so triple anymore. Sorry, Dibbie.

Actually hoyo has finally cracked the code for how to kill off characters while still keeping them in the story without "somehow she returned" – just make there be multiples of them in the first place. Looking forward to the inevitable deaths of Trirefly numbers 2 and 3.

If Hyacine calls Stelle "Greyie" (awful in English tbh but whatever), what should she call Firefly? "Light-greyie"?

Mem, I need to teach you about these things called "death flags."

Uh huh, Aglaea, tell me more about how you want to "deal with" people who disagree with your rule. (Shutting up now before I make everyone angry.)

How do you even figure that out

(no comment, I'll just need that later)

oh no, he's cool

Krateros 🫡

Well shit, I thought Stelle would have a chance at aeonhoon one day, wasn't expecting her to get demigodified by version 3.

Well I kept asking for Stelle to overthrow a monarchy, but hey, I'll take Mydei.

I am dying that these two don't get to have a (very manly, totally appropriate for China) hug goodbye

I am also dying that we will never see what mihoyo could make if they were willing to develop an offline, single-player RPG without any microtransactions, because god I think it could be so good.

This pose is literally copied from something, right? Like exactly? I can't think of what... My first thought was either Arthas in Warcraft 3 or Kratos in the first God of War, but I just looked at both scenes and neither was exactly the same, but it really feels familiar.

So uh. We go to hear this old prophecy that's gonna convince everyone they're doing the right thing, and the first thing we see is Oronyx going "yo don't follow that prophecy, it's bad." Not exactly winning me over here.

Literally everything in this entire city is screaming "These prophecies are all made up, don't trust them." Why are we trusting them, again?

Surprise Ave Mujica crossover

This is doing things to me

Game do you want me to cry (it does want that yes)

You can't make me stop liking Dan.

"Yep, here's your one frame of March for the update, we didn't forget."

After an embrace, eternal separation... we know Stelle can touch Cas, and presumably is going to eventually leave Amphoreus never to return. I mean it's said ominously as if it means something more Bad than that, but that seems to fit the prophecy perfectly.

The end? The end?? Excuse me, but y'all have a funny definition of "half way" lol

really hoyo?

I mean that's what I was thinking. If the entire world but for one person has to die to save the world, have you really saved anything at all? I guess the Dromas will have a nice planet left at least...

More seriously, I imagine it's something like in the end one is able to reset everything back to the beginning, and life starts again... But I dunno, that doesn't sound like a very good ending to me either, cursed to live out the same thing over and over forever.

Well that makes it pretty clear, in combination with what Cerces said. Anaxagoras wasn't somehow the sole survivor. He died, and the titan is animating his body.

I love you too, sweetie.

[danganronpasurvivoraskblog]

To Mod: So far what character do you think definitely gets mentally better as part of their character arc?

//Well there's a couple, so I'll make a small list.

Toko is the big one. I did a full analysis of how much she's improved mentally since the events of Danganronpa 1 and Ultra Despair Girls.

Makoto's arc for these last few arcs of the story are a key one.

Mukuro is another big one. Her entire role in the story is the big bad's sidekick turned over a new leaf and trying to cope with the horrible shit she spent like, 20 years doing.

Mikan, although her's is a bit wishy washy because she tends to regress back into her Despair self every now and then, but she sees it mostly as a way of confronting and accepting that side of her that's a little bit mental.

Nagito is another big one. Though not initially, he's definitely on that path now. He's kind of coming around to accepting that his mindset was warped and that he really only convinced himself that Hope and Luck were what they were because his talent did so much to ruin his life, so he kind of had to find the positives somewhere, but now that he's sort of facing that part of himself instead of running from it, he's starting to become less of a twat.

I'm gonna put Izuru on this list to, but his is a little looser. He's not getting "mentally" better so to speak, but he's becoming more of a person and less of a template the more he interacts with the others.

Another big one is Munakata. His is also about trying to overcome his past and being less of a dick than he was in DR3.

Angie's character arc is this too, even though I don't touch on it very often, but with everything she's been through she's not all smiles all the time anymore, because she's done putting on a front and trying to let God solve all her problems.

Tenko's character arc from this point on falls under this umbrella.

Miu's character arc has been this since the end of Phase 1 all the way up to this point, and even though I really didn't like The Tower arc back when I made it, with what Miu was able to do in this chapter, it was so worth writing it in the end because it's a great way to show how far she's come as a person.

I want to say Kokichi is this as well, but he hasn't really changed that much, he's just learning how to drop the front and show a little bit of sympathy and weakness when it matters.

Sora had some trauma that she needed to overcome, and that's shown best in Rise and Shine with the situation where she was afraid to take off her restraints, fearing what she might do, but bit the bullet to save Kaede and Monodam.

Iroha went through quite a lot of development in Survivor compared to her last canon appearance in the Omake thanks to Kokichi's influence and the fact that she's lived a life away from all the Despair and dread, and that's done a lot for her mentality and personality. She's not half as selfish as she was during the Killing Game.

Akane Taira's like this too, but more on that to come.

And lastly, this is sort of what's going to happen with Uchui from this point forward. He's managed to overcome the ghosts, beat Zetsubou, stop his father's project for good, and now he just needs to mentally heal the cracks. And after a long time of being alone and suicidal, he's finally willing to accept help for his problems.

//Danganronpa: Trigger Happy Trauma.

-Mod