#and have to keep on idoling with that knowledge in the back of your mind

[btsbs]

I can’t believe Hybe trolling the internet for fan fic is a real thing that happened

[yinyuedijun]

SITUATIONSHIP | asakura shin x f!reader

You are both the most diligent worker at Sakamoto's Store and the most hypersexual person that Shin knows. Overhearing your thoughts and accidentally seeing your fantasies routinely leads to profound psychic damage for him, as well as the most poorly timed boners in the world. All of this only gets worse when the two of you start hooking up.

6k words. comedy, smut. all the sex scenes are vanilla; however, the reader constantly reads and thinks about horny fanfiction tropes including: free use, omegaverse, and breeding. these are all mentioned but not discussed in detail. warning: the reader has a warped/unhealthy relationship with her sexuality, this fic is about shin fixing her with his stroke game lol. credits to @/cafekitsune for the dividers and @hansolen for the fic brainrot <3

You are the worst coworker that Shin has ever had.

This is saying a lot, given that he's worked with countless two-bit assassins who could barely a handle a gun (no one he worked with in his late teenage years could hold a candle to Mr. Sakamoto, truly), as well as Lu, who can barely orient herself within the store. You are, in contrast, brutally efficient with your work, incredible with the customers, and very cooperative with Shin. You even know how to handle a gun, and you do it with such pinpoint precision that it's always nonlethal despite being brutally debilitating. (Your skill level does hold a candle to Mr. Sakamoto in this respect, and Shin wonders if his boss has given you some kind of private training—a thought that fills him with such jealousy that it makes him want to chew on the sale stickers in his hands.) There's just one problem.

You are probably the horniest person alive, and Shin is about to lose his fucking mind listening to your thoughts.

Now, Shin is used to hearing the unfiltered stream of consciousness of the average human being. This naturally includes carnal desires here and there. He’s desensitized to most people’s erotic fantasies about their favourite gravure idol, memories of their last sexual encounter, intrusive thoughts about their friends, et cetera. He habitually tunes it out. But whereas a regular person might have these thoughts once or twice a day, you seem to have them once or twice an hour. And none of your thoughts are ever brief or underdeveloped. They usually last at least ten minutes each, with detailed internal monologuing and accompanying 8K UltraHD visuals, and you really only ever stop when you're trying to remember a code at the till or doing some quick mental math with the accounts.

Needless to say, Shin tries to keep you at the register as much as possible.

You used to tell yourself (in your head) that your mental fixation on sex was a natural consequence of your dry spell. After quitting the assassin life, you'd been celibate for the first time in at least a decade, forced to attain sexual gratification with nothing but masterfully written fanfiction and your vast collection of vibrators. (Your favourite one is hot pink, seven inches, rabbit eared. You sometimes have trouble getting it to fit, but it’s worth it for the way you cum when you do, and this knowledge makes Shin want to die.) You were convinced that getting laid would bring you enough relief to stop thinking about sex every hour of the day. You had thought that you'd go back to “normal” after that, though Shin doesn't know what “normal” entails for you. (One free-use fantasy a day instead of twelve? Daydreams strictly featuring humans rather than tentacle monsters? It's hard to say.)

Regardless, Shin had to agree: surely, there would be a limit to your sex-obsessed thoughts. It made a lot of sense that you were simply frustrated and in need of an outlet. Naturally, after sleeping with you, he'd expected your thoughts to quiet down.

(Yes—Shin slept with you. It was an accident, through and through, and he routinely feels bad about it. He'd been meaning to ask you out, treat you to dinner, maybe even get you flowers depending on the vibe. The type of thing that Mr. Sakamoto did for Aoi, when they first started dating. If everything went well, then you two could consider getting intimate. His interest in you has nothing to do with sex, after all—no, not even the fact that you've had explicit fantasies about deepthroating him while he works the cash. He'd die if you ever tried that, actually.

The plan was always to take things slow and maybe even start a relationship if the two of you really hit it off. He'd even asked Mr. Sakamoto for advice on what a civilian romance should look like! But then Shin walked you back to your apartment one night when you were feeling down, and you invited him upstairs, and one thing led to another, and, well… it turns out that you aren't the type of person to take things slow. Or think about relationships. Shin’s never overheard any thoughts from you about actually dating him, come to think of it. And no, before you ask—that doesn't bother him. Not at all. Not one bit.)

To both his surprise and yours, getting laid somehow had the opposite effect on you. Rather than being calmed, you're somehow even hornier—and now all your horny thoughts are about Shin.

It's nonstop. Shin can't believe it. Whereas you used to think about all sorts of people in your sexual fantasies (mostly your fanfiction men, but also some BL characters, occasionally Keanu Reeves, and very often that Nagumo guy), you now think solely of Shin. You're thinking about him right now, pausing as you finish restocking the onigiri.

Shin can hear every single thought from across the room, the way you feel the edges of your sanity fraying with the memory of his touch. The whole day, you've been remembering how it felt to have your pussy stretched around his cock, how it felt to have his hands on your curves, how he seemed to know exactly how to touch your body to make you keen. (Shin admits he cheated; a little ESP goes a long way in bed.) You soaked the sheets when you finally came, and he kissed you relentlessly through your orgasm. It made you so horny that you had to immediately go another round.

No other man’s ever made you cum like that, you keep thinking. You've fucked more people than you can count, but not a single person has ever felt so good inside you. The realisation is driving you crazy, and Shin feels like he's about to go crazy with you. In the absence of a cold shower, he wants to shove himself into the freezer right now. There's no other way to get rid of his raging boner.

How did it feel so fucking good?! you keep thinking, oblivious to his struggles. I need his cock inside me again. I need him to hit it raw this time. I need him to bend me over the counter and cum in my pussy right now—

It makes him want to die, listening to your thoughts. It also confuses him, somewhat: he isn't that experienced, and objectively he’s a little clumsy in bed. His performance is probably mid in the grand scheme of things, which makes him wonder why you feel like his dick is heaven-sent.

But more than anything, Shin wonders if you ever think about anything other than his dick. Sex isn't the only thing the two of you have done together. The first time you hooked up, he'd spent the night at your place. You clung to him in his sleep and you drooled on his chest and he thought it was kinda funny. He was careful not to wake you as he wiped your chin. You’d cooked him breakfast by the time he'd woken up: homemade miso, fresh rice, tamagoyaki. He made you burnt coffee after. You gave him a goodbye kiss, which somehow turned into a goodbye blowjob, which then escalated into wasting the day together in bed. You were really cuddly the whole time, and Shin could hear you think, how weird, I hate it when people hold me, and I hate it when people kiss me, but you liked it from Shin. You liked it so much that your pussy started dripping, and then what else could you do but suck him off again? (He returned the favour, of course.)

There was a lot more than just fucking, but you never think about any of that other stuff. You only ever think about his stroke game.

Not that that bothers Shin. Not at all. Not one bit.

By noon, he reaches his limit.

Shin considers himself a responsible guy and dedicated employee. He'd ordinarily never want to take off in the middle of the day to fool around with you—or anyone else—but it's his lunch break, and he has to get you to stop fantasizing. His dick is so hard that it's painful, and even with the apron it's getting tricky to cover up. As soon as the clock hits 12, he's throwing it off and making a beeline for you.

“We need to talk,” he says, grabbing you by the hand, and the face you make is so giddy that he can't help but sigh. You’re practically beaming as you take off your apron and say bye to Lu. We’ll be back in 30! you tell her in a sing-song voice, because you’re a very conscientious worker even when outrageously horny.

“You heard my thoughts?” you ask as the two of you climb the stairs to his room, and he snorts.

“How couldn't I?” He gives you a miserable look, cheeks flushing. “Were you doing that on purpose the whole morning?”

“No.” He raises a brow. “I'm serious—I wasn't trying to cause any trouble for you! It's just…” You bite your lip, and it takes all of Shin’s self-control to stop himself from staring at its glossy sheen. “I really just need to be touched again.”

“I don't believe you,” he says as he pulls you into his room.

“You're an esper! You should know I'm telling the truth!”

“I also know you like to torture me with your thoughts.”

“Well, yeah…” You smile at him, sheepish. “But I really just need a bit of relief. Want me to prove it to you?”

There's a sudden glint in your eye that makes Shin nervous, out of his depth. Sometimes he gets the feeling that you want to eat him alive, and he never knows how to handle it. He’s never gotten this level of attention before, and never in his wildest dreams did he think he'd get it from someone like you.

(Yeah—you're way out of Shin's league. For all his plans of a civilian romance, he wasn’t sure if he could actually score a date with you. He still isn't sure if he can score one. He's also not sure he’ll survive this encounter.)

He swallows. “Prove it…?”

“Uh huh.” You look so pretty right now, sitting on the edge of his bed. “Let me show you.”

You read too much hentai. Shin knows this firsthand (you read a lot of it on the clock, and all the images get blasted right into his prefrontal cortex), but he can also tell from how you act. It’s just way too fucking outrageous when you spread your legs for him, pulling up your skirt, and he's greeted not by the sight of your panties (you wore a lacy pair to work and kept bending over in hopes of flashing him—you had not been shy at all in this thought), but your bare, glistening cunt.

No fucking way.

“You’ve been working like that?!” he blurts out, mildly horrified even though his dick is jumping at the sight of you. You laugh, and you conjure up your panties from somewhere. They dangle from your fingertips, sheer and drenched.

“Took them off as we came up here. They're useless now anyway, see”—they’ve been soaked through for hours, and my thighs are all sticky—“and besides… I wanted to give you easy access.”

He thinks he's going to pass out.

“Easy access,” he repeats stiffly, bright red.

“Uh huh. Wanted to be efficient—we only have, what, twenty minutes?” Before he can even react, you're already turning around, bending over for him, ass up. From this angle, he can see just how wet you are—and how you're clenching around nothing, your cunt empty and needing to be filled. You glance over your shoulder, give him a teasing smile. “What are you waiting for?”

It’s a wonder that Shin doesn't cum on the spot, really. Like he said—he isn't an experienced guy. He's never slept with anyone so forward, or so—well. Smoking hot, for lack of better word. Half of him has a mind to just stand there and say that he can't believe you, and half of him has a mind to fuck you like you've been hoping all morning. Thankfully, this latter half of him wins out—probably for the better. If he helps you work this out of your system, you'll probably stop assaulting his mind with all your horny thoughts and his dick can exist in peace for the rest of the afternoon. Right?

Right?

(He ends up being extremely wrong.)

By the time he's pulled down his pants, put a condom on, and started pushing inside you, the two of you have seventeen minutes left. He worries briefly that it won't be enough time to get you to cum (nor him, though that isn't his goal currently), but it turns out to be a non-issue. Your pussy swallows his cock easily, stretching around him so perfectly that he nearly chokes. He always hears you talking about how sex with him feels leagues better than with any other person, but he’s not sure if you know that the same is true for him. No one's ever felt as good as you, and it takes every ounce of willpower in him not to cum immediately.

You're already close to the edge, too. Probably pent up from squeezing your thighs together all morning and thinking about his touch. You moan in a way that is obscene, like something out of an AV—but Shin knows that it isn't a performance. He can feel your body and hear your thoughts, all the genuine bliss you get from being filled up. When he starts moving, it's with intent. He fucks you like you’ve been fantasising all day, all week—with a relentless pace, focused on giving you nothing but pleasure. You tighten around him like you were made for him, and—

—apparently you feel like you're being used? Like a hole? The fuck! Shin almost stops mid-stroke to balk at you—he wouldn't do that to you!—but then you moan and he feels you getting wetter at the thought, and then he has no choice but to keep going. He's not about to kill your high.

Nine minutes left. Your clit is throbbing, neglected, and as soon as you think about touching yourself, Shin’s fingers are circling it instead and making you keen. He hits the spot inside you that has your eyes rolling back and your spine arching beautifully, and you can’t speak with your mouth, but he hears you anyway: the begging, the neediness, right there right there you're doing so good Shin you feel so good don't stop don't stop don't, don't—

“Oh fuck,” you whimper, pressing your face into the sheets, and then Shin feels you pulsing around him, drenching him. He gets dragged over the edge with you, gasping sharply as he finds his own release. You collapse as he twitches inside you, spilling himself inside the condom, and he almost snorts when he hears you thinking, wish you were cumming in my pussy instead. Do it raw next time, okay?

“You know we have to use a condom,” he says between pants.

“But I'm on birth control! Read my mind—you know I'm telling the truth!”

“And I also know that birth control is only 93% effective,” he says, rolling his eyes. He glances at the clock. “C'mon—we only have five minutes until our lunch break ends.”

It feels a little weird, rushing you. He’s never had a quickie before, but he understands that you can't exactly take your time with cleaning up afterwards. Still, he thinks about what it was like the last time the two of you did this—how slow and soft it was after, how he stayed inside you for a bit, how he kissed you long and cleaned you up carefully. It just felt like the right thing to do after sleeping with someone, especially given that that someone was you. He'd much prefer to do that right now.

But you are both punctual workers, and anyway Shin’s heard enough of your idle thoughts to know that you’re fairly apathetic to aftercare—you never expect it, and you’re never particularly sad when you don't get it. Sometimes you even fantasize about being used roughly and then discarded (a thought that he finds so unpleasant that it instantly kills his boner every time).

So it's probably fine to rush back downstairs, he figures. He throws you some wipes, lets you clean yourself up. You do it without complaint. You're not upset. He can even hear your mind humming with satisfaction, coming down from the highs of sensory pleasure.

Which is why he's confused when he hears you think, Huh. That didn't feel as good as I thought it would.

It's not like it felt bad.

This is what Shin hears all afternoon: You had a good time. You generally like being treated like a hole. You hadn't thought that Shin would have it in him to do that (neither did he, he admits), but it was kind of thrilling that he did. You want him to do it again for sure. He hit your g-spot with the kind of precision that only an esper can manage, and your vision nearly went white as you found your climax.

And that's what matters, right? You came. You had an orgasm. The little death. The ultimate goal of sex. You used to have a hard time with it, but after so many missions your body started to enjoy sex and now you cum very easily. And you came very easily with Shin, so that means you must enjoy having sex with him too, right?

But it was better the first time you had sex. Objectively better. You came way harder. You even squirted during your second round with him! Your orgasm was so intense that you felt blissed out for the rest of the night, and even the morning after. When you woke up and realised that Shin was not only still there, but also holding you, it made you so horny that you nearly woke him up with a blowjob. It was only with great self-control that you woke him up with breakfast instead.

You don’t feel like that right now, though. You don't feel horny and you don't feel like cooking and the euphoria of your orgasm melted away a while ago. You just feel sort of… empty.

You don't feel bad, though. It's a beautiful day. The char siu bao in your hand is incredibly fragrant. Piisuke is on your shoulder and chirping in your ear. Shin looks really handsome in his apron—did you know that, Shin? you ask him in your mind—and he goes bright red at this thought and looks away. You don't feel bad, you mentally reassure him. You just don't feel as good as you thought you would.

But Shin does feel bad. He feels miserable, actually. He's not a very experienced guy, but even he can tell that you’re the type of person who needs to be held after having sex. It seems like you probably don't realise it, but it's clear as day to Shin, and for the rest of the afternoon he hates himself for not having done it. It wouldn’t have had to be for very long.

Lu could have covered for an extra fifteen minutes, he keeps thinking. Fuck!

Eventually, you ask him to come over in the evening, and he scrambles to agree, desperate for a do-over.

Shin’s not really good at this hook-up business.

Now—he isn't exactly good at relationships either, but he feels exceptionally awkward about coming over to your place with the express purpose of having sex. He isn't familiar with dick appointment etiquette, especially not appointments involving a friend. Was he meant to bring a gift? A Netflix movie recommendation? It would have felt wrong to show up completely empty-handed, so he ends up bringing your favourite snacks and two bottles of Pocari Sweat. If this is anything like the first time he stayed over, you'll probably both need it.

You're delighted by the snacks and amused by the drinks. He wrestles with himself over what kind of small-talk to make—there’s a PS5 out right now, and your TV screen is paused on Leon Kennedy’s face, so maybe he can start a conversation about the horror genre? He watches a lot of films—but you're dragging him into your room before he can overthink it.

“I missed you,” you say, voice all sweet with affection as you straddle his lap.

“It's been two hours,” he points out, somehow managing not to stammer.

“Eight hours since we fucked.”

“That's not very long at all.”

“Felt like forever to me.” Your whisper is so tender in his ear, incongruent with the absolute filth you're thinking about right now. You need his cock so, so bad—you’d have it inside you 24/7 if you could have it your way, though he's also free to help himself to your body at any hour of the day. Sure, he can't smoke on the premises, but there's no rule against hiking up your skirt and pushing your panties to the side so he can—

“I wouldn't do that in the store!” he squawks, and you giggle.

“Then you should start taking me up to your room more often.”

Shin would be more than happy to host you, actually. He’s been thinking lately about having you over for dinner—Aoi’s been teaching him how to cook—and getting to know you better, in a non-Biblical way. But Shin knows that's not what you mean. You want him to carry you upstairs without asking and to throw you onto his bed and to fuck you into the mattress. You want to go back to your shift without your panties, his cum dripping out of your pussy and sliding down your—

“You really want me to finish inside you,” Shin remarks, bewildered at your sheer obsession over it, and you tilt your head.

“Don't you?”

“No. I mean, yes. I mean—we shouldn't. It's, uh. Risky. I don't want to get you, y'know… pregnant…” His dick twitches in a way that makes him grateful that you don't have ESP. He's realising something about himself that he absolutely cannot think about, and which you would absolutely exploit if you figured out. He clears his throat, hoping he looks normal. “Like. You know. It's better to be on the safe side.”

You study him carefully. “I dunno, Shin.” You smile knowingly. “I don't think I'd mind it if you wanted to breed me.”

Shin is going to die.

The next twenty minutes pass in a horny blur. The two of you spend it all over each other, his cock sliding along your opening—dangerously close to pushing in. You beg him for just the tip, both verbally and mentally—pleaaase Shin please please please it'd be so easy, I'm still stretched out from before, you know it'd feel good—and he's watched enough adult films to know that this is a blatant trap. He somehow pulls away, and immediately feels bad at the crushed expression you make, so he decides he has no choice but to make it up to you by putting his head between your thighs. Within minutes he’s sucking on your clit and making you keen, his fingers curling inside you. He knows your orgasm is intense both from the way you gush all over his face and how your mind goes pleasantly, blissfully quiet for a moment.

It doesn't stay quiet for long.

The most debauched image possible comes to his mind—you, underneath him, your legs folded into a mating press as you take his cock. He’s giving you another load, pumping you full. It's filling up your womb, and you'll definitely get pregna—

“You’re fucking evil,” he groans. “And you read way too much hentai. Those visuals were so goofy.”

You laugh, unbothered. “Sorry, I'll adjust them for realism next time.”

“Please don't,” he begs, even though he knows he's going to spend the next week being mentally assaulted by your breeding kink fantasies. He just hopes they stay relatively normal and don't devolve into the weird omegaverse stuff. Or the monsterfucking stuff. Or the gangbang scenarios. Please, God, anything but the gangbang fantasies. He’ll scream if you imagine another threesome with him and that invisible asshole who kidnapped Lu. He’ll simply resign if you add Nagumo.

To your profound disappointment, Shin ends up using a condom. He doesn't give you much time to feel sad about it, settling quickly between your legs and practically knocking the breath out of you as he thrusts into you. He’s left kind of breathless too. You weren't lying—you are still stretched out from earlier in the day, wet and pliant for him, and there's hardly any resistance as he starts pumping into you. He watches you carefully, laid out underneath him—your eyes squeezing shut as you're made to take his cock. Your mind goes a little quiet again, overwhelmed by pleasure. It's simultaneously a blessing and a curse: Shin’s finally getting a break from your psychic teasing, but the knowledge that he's fucking you dumb is doing something horrible to him.

He changes his angle, and a whimper leaves you. You tighten and gush around him in a way that makes it obvious what he’s hitting; he doesn't need ESP to know to keep doing it. Still, your thoughts are going haywire, a tangle of desire, and it's impossible for him to ignore. I need, he keeps hearing as your thighs starts to twitch, as you start tearing up, I need I need I need I need—

Your eyes land on his lips, and Shin hears you.

His kiss is open-mouthed, clumsy, but you’re hungry for it anyway. You’re panting into each other’s mouths when you start pulsing around Shin’s dick, and you end up cumming so hard on his cock that it's dizzying for you both. He fucks you through your orgasm, and it's only when you're glassy-eyed and limp beneath him that he finally lets himself finish. He pulls back as he does, gasping sharply, but not for long—you draw him back in quickly, clinging to him as you seek out another kiss. The two of you stay like that for a long moment—still connected, breaths heavy with exhaustion, lips slow and lazy against each other.

“Enjoy yourself more this time?” Shin asks, and you hum sweetly against his mouth. You’re still too mindless from your orgasm to form any real thoughts, but Shin can tell that you don't really want to talk. You want to keep kissing him. And you want him to hold you while you do it, which he happily obliges.

Some ten minutes later, you make a small noise of protest when Shin pulls out of you, and it turns into a look of outright betrayal when he gets up. Shin’s heart clenches immediately.

“Just getting stuff to clean up,” he explains, and you relax visibly.

“Oh,” you say. “Right.”

You seem antsy. You feel antsy. You're antsy because you just realised how much you like kissing Shin. Specifically, you've realised that kissing him elevates your orgasms into mind-blowing experiences, and now you're questioning every other orgasm you've had. Maybe I don't actually enjoy sex that much? you wonder. Or maybe I always needed to be kissed to enjoy it more? Wait, no. I hate it when people kiss me. It's gross. Except for when it's Shin. Why Shin? Hm… that apron must really be doing something for me.

Your head hurts. Shin patiently watches you replay your past experiences in your head, comparing all those nights with this one, and he can’t help but frown. Deeply. Your eyes go wide when he gives you an alarmed look at one particular memory.

“Shit, sorry! I forgot you’d see all that.”

“No, I'm sorry,” he says, feeling—not for the first time—guilty about his powers. “If I could turn it off, I would.”

“Don't be sorry. You can't help it. That'd be like if I were sorry for breathing.” But despite your easy words, you’re watching him carefully, and your mind is stirring in an unsettling way. I'm nervous? you realise. Your heart is beating in a way that suggests a flight or fight response. It gets worse the longer you stare at him. Why am I nervous? Tell me, Shin.

“I wouldn't know.” Except he’s got a good guess, and he'd rather die than say it out loud because it would be embarrassing for you both if he were wrong. He'd have to resign. Nevertheless, he tries to guide you in a specific direction: “Have you really never liked it when people kissed you?”

“No,” you reply immediately. “I don't see the point of kissing during sex.”

He gives you a long look. “What if it’s not just sex? What if it's just a regular kiss on a regular day with, like, a partner? Someone you're really serious about.” He blinks at the confused stare you're giving him. “You mean you don't like that either?”

It's suddenly very noisy. Shin can hear your mind buzzing as you stare at the ceiling of your room, not with coherent sentences so much as shapeless confusion. His skin crawls with the echo of your discomfort; it's a wonder you aren't slipping out from the sheets to run away.

“...I don't know,” you finally decide. “I don't have much real dating experience.”

“Huh? You’ve said before that you've dated lots of guys.”

“Um.” You’re careful not to look at him. “Yeah, I guess. They all sucked though. I, like, wanted to kill every single one of my exes.”

“Like they were shitty boyfriends?”

No, like they were assassination targets, you think, and Shin has to keep a straight face as you reply, “Yeah, something like that.”

You rarely lie to Shin. You did it somewhat frequently until you figured out that he was capable of ESP, and then you stopped because you didn't see a point anymore. You only do it now when there's something you really don't want to talk about, so Shin relents. He focuses on cleaning himself up, and he interrupts the tense hum of your thoughts when he turns his attention to you. By the time he's finished and slid back into bed, your more complicated emotions have vanished, and you're back to marveling at the quality of the orgasm you just had. Apparently you like to keep things fairly simple in your inner world.

When Shin puts an arm around you, he can hear your pleasant surprise—and your immediate desire to press into him.

You're so happy just being held by him, it's shocking. And painfully endearing. Shin tries to pretend not to notice the warm glow of your thoughts, as well as your confusion over them: surely the simple act of being close to someone can't feel so good. Maybe the whole kissing thing was just a coincidence and Shin happened to be hitting it just right when your lips met. Or maybe he used his ESP on you to make you cum extra hard and he's still influencing you, and that's why you feel so tenderhearted right now.

“My powers only allow me to read minds,” he tells you. “I can't control other people.”

“Aw,” you say, “that's too bad. I bet forced orgasms with ESP would feel amazing.”

“...”

Shin realises something else about himself that he absolutely cannot let you know. Thankfully for him, you're none the wiser. Your mind’s somewhere else entirely when you climb on top of him, smiling neatly. Mind you, what you're thinking is still making him feel nervous. He's always a little out of his depth with you.

“Shin…”

You lean in, breath sweeping over his lips. His heart jumps.

“Y-yeah?”

“I'm still confused about how that felt so good.”

“I’ve noticed.”

You hold back a laugh. “Yeah, I guess you would have.” Then you give him an apologetic look. “Sorry I'm so stuck on it. I just thought I knew my body, y'know? I felt like I had tried everything worth trying. Sex was starting to feel boring, including the freaky stuff. But this is very new to me.”

This close up, Shin can feel the brush of your lashes when they flutter. See the glossy swell of your lips from all the kissing. Take in the fragrance of your hair. He starts to feel dizzy. “I-is it? I don't think we've been doing anything, uh. Crazy.”

“I didn't think so either.” Your thumb traces his lip. You're thinking about kissing him again, and you're also thinking about riding him as you do it. “I can't help but want to try it a few more times, you know? Just to make sure it wasn't a fluke.”

“A few more times,” he repeats, and you smile.

“You don't have anywhere you need to be tonight, do you?”

The two of you get two hours of sleep that night, and you end up going through both bottles of Pocari Sweat and all the snacks. There's no time for breakfast or burnt coffee the morning after; you make the executive decision to just eat something at the store instead. Shin leaves behind a toothbrush and you tell him he should also bring an extra set of clothes next time. He tries not to get too excited about the fact that there's going to be a next time. He fails.

Mr. Sakamoto sees the two of you as you make it to work just on time together and immediately figures out what's happened. Shin gets a mental reprimand for not marrying you first, and the disappointment from Mr. Sakamoto is so strong that he briefly considers resigning out of disgrace. But he stays on, and the days pass, and your relationship with him remains the same. Sort of.

Because, see. Now that you're regularly getting laid, your horny thoughts have finally (finally!) calmed down. You now have one free-use fantasy a day instead of twelve, and your daydreams only occasionally feature tentacle monsters. You do like to torture Shin with breeding kink scenarios, but that's only once a day, and they never involve any other guys. Shin considers this a victory, respite from the psychic agony that he was previously experiencing.

There's just one problem.

You want to kiss Shin all the time now, and it's making him feel like the horniest person alive.

He can't believe it. He doesn't have a particularly strong sex drive, and he rarely ever has sexual fantasies. But holy shit is he having them a lot now, and he can't say it's strictly your fault.

You spend most of the day now thinking about what it felt like to kiss him in bed, and what it felt like to hold his hand as he moved inside you, and what it felt like to be in his arms afterwards. What it would feel like if you were to do those things that you used to hate—kissing someone, linking fingers, embracing them—with Shin. Not just in bed, but on a regular day, out in the open. In a secluded park somewhere, or maybe at the top of a Ferris wheel, or even on a random street corner if the mood is right. All of these daydreams are usually followed by very explicit fantasies about public, unprotected sex, but the kissing is the most important part of it. The subsequent creampies are pretty significant too, but not nearly as much as the bits where you make out.

And somehow, the thought of cumming in you is not the part of the fantasy that's driving Shin crazy.

You give him a meaningful look. A week ago, this would have been a sign that you wanted him to bend you over the counter and give you backshots. Now it means you want to sneak away to kiss him and hold hands, and this makes him want to do things to you that would get him fired immediately.

Shin sighs, and he contemplates shoving himself into the freezer.

END

I wrote this with one hand and did not proofread it. my apologies if you see any errors. I just needed to be free of these thoughts asap. release me...

PS - I know the Resident Evil/Leon Kennedy mention must have felt very random, but it's set-up for potential future sequels haha.

[tokoyamisstuff]

Hey! I just found your blog and I’m now obsessed with the variant marks! If it’s alright to ask, do you have any HC for them??

Invincible Variants x gn! Reader

Warnings: pretty marysue, toxic relationship, angst, mentions of canon-typical violence and death

A/N: heya, love! so glad I infected you with the hype ehehe. since you didn't specify what kind of hc's you wanted I just threw in whatever came to mind. 💌

Omnivincible idolizes his father to an unhealthy degree, but ultimatively if he ever had to decide beween him and you he'd choose the latter.

It was easy for him to get rid of all his friends and allies, hell, even his own mother...but he spared you, unable to imagine a life without you by his side.

He keeps the true nature of your relationship a secret, having convinced the empire that you're merely a slave for his personal entertainment, but he does consider you his legitimate mate. Be ready to get called his 'pet' a lot, but he'd rather have you like this than not at all.

While mostly in denial about all of the obstacles and dangers to this secret affair, he's relentlessly searching for a way to artificially extend your lifespan.

Movincihawk is one of those people who are somehow stupid and smart at the same time. I bet his father never actually made him see a school from the inside, thinking their inferior human knowledge is beneath them. So while he's a capable fighter and strategist, you somehow have to explain the most trivial concepts to this man - and he's absolutely delighted every time, even though he's too distracted by your beauty to actually listen.

This one is all bark and no bite honestly. He's a bully and loves harmlessly pranking you but if anyone disrespects you in any way they're suffering dire consequences.

Behind closed doors he'd do anything for scraps of your approval really. Out of that very same reason he loves to brag and show off, as well as indulge you in any way he can think of.

Frankly he doesn't give a shit about what anyone thinks about his feelings towards you. Not that anyone would dare speaking up anyways.

I feel like Sinister is a born sociopath, and his universe probably is a tad bit more evil in general. Like there was no major event or anything that led to him being this way, this is just his default.

On the inside he is a deeply insecure person and tries to mask it through his god-complex. Rarely and only subtly he lets his guard down around you, just to become ten times worse afterwards, to compensate having shown weakness.

His fixation on you began when you dared standing up to him, unafraid despite being like a bug he could crush under his boot any given time. This fascination made him keep you alive long enough to develop romantic feelings for you, however he is still in denial about them.

Emotions in general are a foreign concept to him, so he keeps telling himself you're just a fleeting pastime. Even you are not safe from his sadistic tendencies, especially since he revels in trying to scare you away and knowing you'll always come back to him eventually.

The immense arrogance of Target/Striped Mark stems from him being raised 'for greatness' from the very beginning. He spent his entire childhood secluded from any civilization, alienating him from earth's inhabitants.

Back during his teenage years, after his powers awakened, he gave in to his curiosity and explored the planet and their people incognito, meeting you by sheer coincidence. Although his upbringing had indoctrinated him to believe you to be a lowlife, he felt drawn to you again and again.

When you found out about his true nature, he didn't leave you any choice and instead abducted you directly. He is a very strict man and has high expectations not only in himself and his subjects, but especially in you. And even though he has a soft spot for you, you better not disappoint him.

Fun fact: Him shouting so much does in fact not stem from his obvious anger issues, but rather a training injury that left his hearing permanently impaired.

No Goggles Invincible was probably raised the most merciless, being tormented both emotionally and physically from a very early age. This caused his mind to break at some point, which is the reason he's acting even more unhinged than the others.

In his dimension Debbie sided with her husband, and Mark greatly blamed her for not having protected him from Omni-man's abuse, ending up in him ultimatively killing both of his parents. So it's no wonder he has major trust issues, trying to control you through fear. Prepare for mood swings, regular break downs of his and random loyalty tests.

Due to his hardly contained sadistic site, he has a hard time restraining himself from harming you. On the other hand he also greatly enjoys you inflicting pain on him in any way possible. Sadly this is the only form of closeness he's used to, and being treated tenderly is actually frightening to him.

Once he almost killed you in a violent fit of rage and this mistake haunts him to this day. Ever since he's terrified of touching you.

Viltrumite Invincible got abducted by Nolan shortly after birth and was raised among his people, only returning decades later to finish what his father started.

And just like the main timeline Nolan, he folded like a lawnchair after crossing paths with you. It was love at first sight really, and being subjected to true affection that was frowned upon in his culture was just the nail that sealed the coffin of the empire.

Several times he had tried to regain his focus, coming with the intent to kill you for distracting him from his goal, and yet much to his frustration he could never bring himself to do so. The last time he tried he ended up asking for your hand in marriage.

Unlike his father however he confessed the truth to you way earlier, claiming that meeting you made him reevalue everything he was ever taught.

Prisoner Invincible got his scars as a punishment for rebeling against the Viltrum empire and trying to take over their reign. Actually they intended to rehabilitate him out of sheer desperation for their population was dwindling, but he couldn't care less.

Unlike the other variants who joined their father since it's the path of least resistance, he refused to after being told you wouldn't be allowed to be together. He is as much of a dangerous and ruthless individual as his counterparts, but he always remained loyal to you. It was the two of you against the rest of the universe, quite literally.

Even after finally being reunited with you his disfigurement never really bothered him, since the bond you two shared exceeded anything else.

The most similar to the original Mark would be Unmasked Mark, at least in the beginning. Yet he soon realized that any resistance to the power of Viltrum was useless, so he just gave in to his fate and worked for a cause he deeply despised.

Even after his betrayal and you ending up joining the resistance you'll find yourself entangled with each other every time you'd clash. Until the very end you believed that he'd have a change of heart, never stopping to treat him with kindness despite being on different sites of the battle.

Over time he became so immeasurably hopeless and full of self-loathing that he killed you as an act of mercy, in order to spare you a gruesome death during their explotation of the planet.

He still listens to your old voicemails, it's the only way he can find some sleep.

Fully Masked Invincible is the most sensitive of the lot but far from innocent either. He took the risk and tried to stop Viltrum from the inside, but their influence slowly but steadily corrupted him from the inside. And the less human he felt, the more he feared he wasn't worthy of your love anymore.

Viltrum considered his sentiments for you a flaw, and even though he ended the relationship to keep you out of harm's way, they got rid of you so you couldn't intervene with their soldier any further. He blamed himself for not having been there to defend you, haunted by nightmares of how he held your limp body as life left your eyes.

He was never able to fill the void in his heart, and with nothing else to live for he continued to work for the empire, growing callous to all of the carnage around him as everything seemed pointless without you.

Shall he succeed to get another version of you back with him, he's awfully overprotective, the mere thought of losing you again making him paranoid. Expect anything from constant surveilance over being imprisoned and even people close to you getting murdered 'for your own good'.

[junnieverse]

STRAWBERRY KISSES ➳ N. RIKI

➙ synopsis: you decided to hop on the latest trend where your boyfriend, riki, does your grwm voiceover, but he on the other hand has other plans in mind for you both.

pairing: non idol!nishimura riki x fem!reader

genre: fluff, crack, slightly suggestive

word count: 0.9k

warnings: briefly proofread, riki jokingly calling reader a thief/kleptomaniac

a/n: i would like to say i was inspired to write this with my own little spin after reading a jake fic similar to this awhile back that i found so cute, tysm to that author <3

“Yo yo yo, what’s up guys.” his deep voice croaks into the mic as he turns his gaze to you.

“Is this on?” Riki asks tilting his head to the side, whilst the video of your makeup routine was paused on the screen of the laptop.

You nod before giving him a thumbs up to get started.

You had been wanting to post more content on your social media lately and you thought joining along the whole “boyfriend voiceover” trend would be perfect for you and a fun activity for both you and your silly partner.

“Okay so my lovely girlfriend asked me to do the voiceover for her makeup ‘get ready with me’ video because for one, she’s obsessed with me- ow!” he groans rubbing his arm as he chuckles after cheekily after you swatted him seeing as he successfully teased you.

“I swear she loves me. And uh secondly, I have two sisters so I think I should do well knowing a thing or two about these kinds of stuff.” he continues with a confident smirk.

Clicking play on the video in front of you, you silently watch beside your boyfriend as he closely follows along, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“I will never understand how and why she needs all of this stuff to begin with. I for one think my girlfriend is insanely beautiful the way she looks now, bare face and all. Like a cute kitten.” he rambles seemingly wanting to go on and on about how perfect you are—before you abruptly remind him of what he needs to be doing.

“Okay let me lock in, sorry. So first up we got moisturiser. Yep, gotta keep the skin hydrated ofcourse.” he says nodding along as you show your entire process, step-by-step.

“Next we’ve got… uh, some gel like clear substance..? Why are we adding goo to our faces now?” he mutters the last part with a deep chuckle into the mic as you side eye him.

“It’s primer Riki.” you whisper but still loud enough for the mic to catch.

“Tch, I knew that.” he sneakily remarks sticking his tongue out at you, only for you to roll your eyes in response.

For the most part your boyfriend knew what he was talking about which shocked you, but his overall confidence in his knowledge also annoyed you.

Although you could say the things he didn’t know did have you quietly laughing away from the mic a couple of times.

“Then that is some sort of make up stick? And we’re blending it in. Woah it made your jaw look sharper too. You’d swear you were mewing.” he says in awe of your contouring skills making you laugh softly, once again.

Watching you draw your eyeliner with the pencil with ease, Riki claps softly amazed by what he called “sheer talent”.

“This has to be the one of the very few products I’m most confident in and that’s the eyeliner. Any girl that can pull off making winged liner look so effortlessly straight has my respect. Shout out.”

“And then we’ve got… THATS BLUSH! I knew what that was!” he says excitedly with a proud smile having underestimated his prior knowledge for a second.

“Okay and now lipgloss. My personal favourite because I get to tas-“

“Riki!” you cut him off knowing exactly where he was going as you hit his arm once again.

“Okay okay my bad. God forbid a man talk about how he loves kissing his girl.” he huffs into the mic as the video continued rolling.

Shaking your head, you gently pinch his cheek making him pout as you smile, “focus on the video, oh my gosh.”

“And lastly we have… is that like some sort of mist? What is that? Wait don’t tell me I’ve seen you use it before- it’s… setting spray!” he answers almost last minute with a huff of relief for getting it right.

You then show off your final look to the camera posing with a gleaming smile to which your boyfriend smiles back.

“Damn look at that fine woman on screen, that’s my girl.” he says hyping you up as he whistles.

“Wait is that my necklace- chat I’ve been looking for that everyone and she’s been hoarding it, you slick thief.” he gasps in shock noticing the silver chain around your neck, which you had previously claimed to not have seen.

Giggling softly you only shrug avoiding his gaze as he only shakes his head not really upset at you, “oopsie~”

Paying his attention back to the video on screen, with his hand on his chest, Riki dramatically feigns being struck, “oh my gawd my girlfriend is the most beautiful woman out there… kleptomaniac and all.”

“I still don’t know why she needed the makeup in the first place since she looked beautiful even before but I’m not mad, either way you’re always pretty.” he says adding his last commentary saying the last part directly to you.

You quietly thank him mouthing out the words with a shy smile feeling flattered.

“Okay so that was my princess’ ‘get ready with me’ slash makeup routine, whatever you guys wanna call it. Hope you guys enjoyed listening to my sexy voice that she is so blessed to hear everyday. I’m gonna go see what flavour lip gloss my girl used this time, fingers crossed it’s my favourite.”

Giggling at his words, you watch Riki turn the mic and laptop off as he scoops you into his arms before gently placing you down on the bed.

Caging you between as arms as he hovers above you, he leans down to kiss you as you melt into his intoxicating touch enjoying the moment all too much before he pulls away leaving you confused.

“Strawberry? Nice.” he remarks at the taste of your lips before your wrap your arms around his neck pulling him back in for more.

[angelfishe]

#𝐈𝐌 𝐀 𝐑✰𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 ♪

#blue lock x idol reader ( pre-relationship )

Character : isagi yoichi, bachira meguru, hyoma chigiri, reo mikage, nagi seishiro, otoya eita, karasu tabito, Oliver aiku, Shuto Sendo

You are a well known and beloved pop idol in the country as well as having a well known soccer player for a brother, you and him decided to hang out after him winning against the u-20 team, but unexpectedly meeting his teammates.

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Isagi yoichi

- he heard of you before, after your show at the stadium that manages to be caught by the entire media of the country. He didn't think much of it since he's always busy with soccer but his mom is a big fan of you and she always listens to your songs when cooking, he even put one of your songs on his Spotify playlist

- at first he was shocked cause he thought he would never think of meeting you as well as the shock that your brother was he's teammates, he didn't know how to approach the situation so he just introduced himself and just started at you from afar.

- eventually you noticed him staring and trying to start a conversation between both of you but he was stiff as a board at the end of the day you gave him an autograph for his mother and your private insta if he wants to keep talking to you.

Bachira Meguru

- a big fan of yours, your music brings him some peace before blue lock. He has some of your merch at his house as well as a sign autograph from you, he was actually surprised you could recognize him. And he was so happy.

- he would ask you to teach some of your choreography from his favorite songs, he doesn't mind if you're uncomfortable he just wants to hang out with and get to know you outside of the stage and tv screen.

- you two manage to get close together and exchange insta so you guys can see each other's stories, he would always beg your brother to go to your house to see you.

Hyoma Chigiri

- he followed your beauty tips on your vlog, he has a lot of questions about what type of product he should use to moisturize his skin as well as to get that silky texture he always sees you have on your hair but since your here why don't he take his chance.

- he would Introduce himself and ask you if he's allowed to ask you about your beauty hacks, soon the entire time you and him non-stop talking about beauty products.

- and you both exchange numbers to keep in touch together. And when he arrives home his sister teases him about being close to a popstar that a new reporter manage to take a photo of both of you and made it into the media, as well as not asking for your autograph because she's a fan of yours.

Reo Mikage

- before blue lock his soccer team keeps gushing about you, on how you were beautiful, an angel and a goddess towards them, they worship the ground that you walk in. This behavior is kinda strange to him because you seem to be a normal idol until he goes to one of your concerts.

- and immediately he got hooked, he's not a very obsessed fan tho. Originally he met you during a business event, him and he's parents were attending a charity event and you were there to be host or entertainment for the guest. During break time you and him have a conversation over business surprisingly your very knowledgeable about this topic

- so when you arrive, you went to reo because he's the only one that you consider a friend before and started to catch on with each other's lives.

Nagi Seishiro

- was paying attention to his phone 24/7 and wasn't aware why his friends was surprise, he look up but couldn't see what's going since the rest of the team was hovering over someone so he ignores it and get back at his phone.

- until he heard your gentle voice saying "oh you play genshin" he looked up and finally realized why his friends were hovering, because of you a famous idol, he heard about you due to how popular you were in the media

- you sit beside him and open your phone showing him your account and you guys started to bond over the game, you guys talk about the storyline, play style, and main, you both share each other's UID to play together one day

Otoya eita

- his previous girlfriends were large fans of you, but after going to one of your concerts with his ex-girlfriend he started to like your music as well finding you very attractive, he would never admit he was a fan of your music because he thought it would be embarrassing to admit. So he never told anyone

- when you pop and suddenly appear in his life, he doesn't know how to approach the situation at first let's just say he was nervous to approach, he tried to be as chill as possible and look cool in front of you.

- so when you heard he was from a ninja blood line you were amused and started to ask about his family history and ninja techniques, he used his signature ninja techniques the one he used to flirt to girls, instead of falling in love you immediately laugh finding amusing, so you pulled a reverse uno and kabedon him against the wall he was stunt and you left to get to know the other, let's just say you change his world view.

Karasu tabito

- he has seen your face multiple times on a bill board, magazine and tv. He didn't expect someone like you would be here as well being his teammate sibling. He and otoya started to tease why they didn't tell them sooner as a way of teasing them.

- he actually saw himself mediocre compared to you I mean come one your the country most famous idol and yet your still growing, you possessed so much potential compared to him.

- but you guys manage to get along, he's a nice person as well very respectful and it seems you both have the same interest. The next morning he received a follow request from your insta.

Oliver aiku

- since he dates a lot of women in his 19 years lifetime one of his previous flings was an idol that was very much jealous of you as well keep complaining about you when him and her were in a relationship, let's just say it didn't last long for the relationship.

- anyway, he was surprisingly very chill with you. Treating you as any normal person would and you both get along but not without your brother warning you of him being a playboy and this nice guy facade could be him trying to get in your pants.

- all day your brother would drag you away from him because he didn't trust Oliver due to his playboy reputation, even tho he tried to create a gap between you both Oliver would try to find ways to talk to you.

Shuto Sendo

- a big fan like MEGA fan of you, has posters as well your photo card place in his wallet for good luck charm, he always wish to meet you but he thought it would be pointless but turns out here you are.

- would immediately go to your brother and want to strangle him due to him not telling him about you being his siblings, so this entire time he was confessing his heart out about you In front of the team your brother was listening to it

- was shy to approach you but eventually approached and asked for your autograph, he was literally stuttering and his entire face was blushing and nervous. And when he opens the autograph paper there's a bonus, your number

[rhaeverie]

⋆.˚ Twinkle, Twinkle ˚.⋆ — lmk (Teaser)

‣ pairing: mark lee x reader

‣  genre: fluff, friends-to-lovers

‣ current wc: 5.6k (so far), about 65% done, predicted 10k

‣ summary: The world is sick and tired of your and Mark’s inability to understand feelings. With a friendship that has lasted longer than you can count on your fingers and friends who can tell you’re both utterly in love with each other, the universe decides to make use of its different light forms to tip you both over the edge of friendship.

‣ warnings (so far): some cliches?, like one kms joke, mentions of alcohol, mentions of vomiting (cause of alcohol)

‣ an: this idea has been rotting in my drafts since like February and i finally got the motivation to write it yippeeee,,, tag list maybe? just ask!

Without light, it’d be awfully difficult to see (duh)

Mark’s bed was the 2nd most comfiest bed in the world, a close runner-up to your parents’.

His mother truly chose the perfect pillow for you to use, paired with a blanket that complimented it well. They both smelled like fresh laundry, an aroma you were familiar with because your best friend smelled exactly like this.

The clock on Mark’s nightstand reads 12:23 AM, moonlight pushing past his closed shutters to emit a bit of its light into his room. Its light does poorly, giving the glow-in-the-dark stars on Mark’s ceiling a chance to emerge through the darkness.

Your mind’s filled with thoughts of the conclusion of the movie you both had just watched—Tangled—and your younger self could not help but think…

“Mark?” you called out into the darkness, “Mark, are you awake?”

There’s shuffling in the space next to you and then you hear Mark hum, “I’m awake. Why?”

You hesitate to ask the question that’s been keeping your brain occupied ever since the credits started rolling. But knowing Mark, he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

“Do you…”

You can barely see Mark’s head lift up to look at you in the darkness, bedhead creating a jagged outline.

“Do you think I’ll ever fall in love and get married like Rapunzel did in the movie?”

Your mind replays the clips of Rapunzel and Eugene underneath the lanterns, lights creating a scene you’ll never forget for the rest of your life.

Mark hums again, something that he did when he was deep in thought. Your question wasn’t too far-fetched. He’s overheard a lot of the other girls in his class talking about crushes they’ve had on other classmates or squealing over that one idol he couldn’t remember the name of. The only difference now was that these thoughts were coming out of you.

“Do you think you won’t?” Was Mark’s reply.

At the time, you really didn’t know what you were saying, barely having the knowledge to understand the deeper meaning of it all.

Love and marriage? You weren’t aware that you had skipped practically everything before that.

“I think so.”

Mark doesn’t reply for a long while, long enough to convince you that he had fallen asleep the second you answered his question. But when you feel the bed dip, you can make out that he is now sitting up and reaching for his lamp.

Click!

You let out a quiet hiss, squeezing your eyes shut because you’re suddenly blinded.

Mark snorts, “Sorry, I should’ve warned you.”

There’s movement on his end again, the blankets softly rustling. You’re not sure what Mark was trying to do, but once you finally open your eyes, the first thing you see in the lowly-lit room are his eyes shining back at you, mouth opened slightly because he was going to say something. He’s propped up on his elbows, crushing the barrier pillow between you both.

“Why’d you have to turn the light on?” You scoot yourself up to face your best friend.

Mark shrugs as chews on his bottom lip in search of words, “I just feel like it’ll mean more if you could see me saying it.”

“Saying what?”

“You’ll find your happily ever after,” Mark says seriously. You can tell just by the way he looked at you that he was serious. Not even a hint of kidding looming behind his pupils. You forget that Mark was such an optimist.

Your brows furrow, unsure whether or not you should take this boy seriously. “And how are you so sure about that?”

Mark’s eyes reflect the light coming from his lamp and he grins. It’s almost creepy the way he does, like he has something hidden up his sleeve.

“I just am.”

[dongslinger--420]

You were born to two people who never wanted to have you, who never should've had you. You grew up around alcohol, and your only role model was on television. People tried to make friends with you, but you just pushed them away. You made your first friend at 21. You love your friend more than anything, but you cannot escape the fact that he was indirectly responsible for your downfall. You try so hard to go back to the era where you thought you were happy that you end up making two of the biggest mistakes of your life. You surround yourself with people who remind you either of him, of yourself, or both. Your lack of true, authentic experience means that you believe yourself to be both unworthy and incapable of love. You have 4 best friends and you take them all for granted until it's too late. Millions love you, and you feel so alone.

You were born into a family of 7. Everyone in that family hates you. You were bullied in school, and your only role model was on television. You survive your 20s on sheer unbridled optimism and a barista's salary. You meet two people who are just like you, who are passionate and cynical and bright minded. One day, you fall in love with an older man who is nothing like you, but he's kind and extraverted, and it's something you have no frame of reference for. You meet your idol. He's not who you thought he'd be. He's the furthest from it that you could possibly imagine. But you love him. Because he's you. He reminds you of the girl you were growing up. Sometimes he's compassionate towards you. Sometimes your now husband is compassionate towards you. You don't know how to respond in either situation. You try to look for reasons to push them away. Your closest friends love you, and you feel so alone.

You were born the youngest of 12. Your mother loves you, but she needs you a little too much. You grow up obsessed with a film about a girl who flies away, a girl who (for better or for worse) comes of age. So then you decide to fly away. You get a job as a strongly independent intern. But then you meet a man. He's deeply flawed, and the way you take care of him reminds you too much of the girl you were growing up. But you see so much good in him, and you spend your time telling yourself that the good outweighs the bad. He has single handedly got you out of the worst situations you have ever found yourself in. And for all your independence, you crave companionship, in any form. The love that anyone feels for you is forever fleeting. You feel so alone.

You were born into a loving family. You meet a beautiful wife in your 20s, and get the best job ever solely by accident. There is no reality other than this. And why would anyone want one? This is perfect. You try so hard to go back to that first era where you were happy, by surrounding yourself with people who agree with you. Your first wife starts to disagree. You don't understand her decision to go into politics, because there is no reality other than this, and why would anyone want one? You break up with her. You have to keep the illusion going, fill that space asap. Your second wife disagrees with you. You meet your third wife on the day your second wife leaves you. Your third wife cares more about the world outside the bubble you've cultivated than your first wife did. But status quo is god. It worked in your dream job, and it's going to work now. Your third wife leaves you. You feel so alone.

You were born of a man you don't even remember. You were forcibly given the name of the man your mother married. He's extremely hard on you and you don't understand why. You love music and games and new experiences, and he loves anger and being boring and getting a job. You get kicked out at 18. You find someone new, and you feel almost as reliant on them. You don't know when your new situation will end, but it's easy. This is what you wanted, right? But all your new friends have proper lives. They have some sense of knowledge for what they were doing. And maybe your stepfather was right. Maybe BoJack was right. Maybe you need to get your act together before you amount to anything. Because for all your independence, you still crave approval and acknowledgement, in any form. You have no idea if anyone loves you, and you feel so alone.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Enhypen Tea Session

Disclaimer: This is my interpretation of the cards. This is not fact and all alleged! This doesn't put many of them in the best light. I am a messenger, so no hate on any of them.

Now, to the next group for this session. I feel they gave me so much tea in the past, so not sure what else they can share and if they have much else to share, but let's see what they give me.

Heeseung

He could be handed things to him things that alter his reality, maybe allows him to disconnect. He continuously shows me things about drinks being offered to him, or him drinking things. This ace of cups in this deck seems to always pop up for him , or has in the past, but a lot of these cards have things about people offering things to him. He might feel a sort of emptiness and numbness to things and may need these drinks to help keep his energy up or feel alive. I see him having access to a lot of inner wisdom and knowledge. I say when he is alone, he may have access to this information or get loads of downloads, but I see him trying to find ways to block it out, maybe that is where I can see him wanting to drink a lot. I saw this in his perspective reading, where he seems to have access to psychic abilities and he doesn't know how to handle it or process it.

He has strong divine femininity energy, meaning someone with strong creative, intuitive and psychic abilities. He was offered a dream, a fairytale, this could be about being an idol, a fantasy per say. I say there are childhood wounds he hasn't healed and still needs to process. These childhood wounds still affect him in some way. I say this is like that for mostly every human being, so not sure why that is stressed for him. Although, he seems mature, he is stunted emotionally somehow. Like he has strong childlike energy that still is with him. I mean, makes sense knowing him, he can be a bit of a goofball and dork at times. I say that with love.

Another note: Good thing I do these readings a bit before I post them, he gave me another message, while I was lying in bed lol He tends to do this, which is interesting. I was pulled back to this reading out of nowhere. I got mind altering, so I am assuming these drinks do that, also I was pulled to the 9 of Swords of his career reading and if you remember I felt weird when I was discussing that card. I believe that card also came out in his perspective reading, that all seems to be connected somehow, man Heeseung is becoming so much more fascinating to me. I wonder if these drinks cultivate these frantic thoughts, hmm. It is like it could induce psychic attacks, got that message too.

Jay

Well, the devil shows up first, flying out like crazy. He seems highly materialistic. I can see him doing some weird shit to get ahead or make money to be honest. Like that devil card gives me the dark side to money. This strong attachment to money can lead you down a dark path in this industry just saying. I got four cards that are about money. He has a strong desire to reach a level of success where he can be rich and wealthy, anyone with this desire to be rich can do anything to get that, which could break a bit of your own morals. The more money someone wants, the further you move away from your true essence. I can see him working hard to receive whatever scraps he can. This boy will put out the stops, burn himself down, overwork and exhaust himself to get it. Ya'll tell this boy to go on a break, and I swear he will look at you sideways for that. He burns himself down, but ends up finding that passion again.

Jay is a very passionate man and always finds that drive and energy to keep going. This man is focused on money, achievement and career advancement. I see him wanting to do this to achieve his own success and to stand on his own. I can see this devil card as him tying himself to this industry or career and the dark shit it entails to get to where he wants to go, which is financial freedom. So, he may not partake in the dark shit, but maybe understands the crap he has to go through to get to where he wants to, but still, he shows strong attachment to money and I don't know, people with that attachment can do anything to get it. The card name in this deck is the shadow, so he may do some lowkey things or hide things that he does.

Jake

I am seeing he is someone that dissociates and disconnects. I can also see him struggling to find passion or not getting things offered to him that brings out that passion. Interesting message here, I see strong sexual energy with him and he may use that to fill a void, so a desire to sleep with others, most likely woman to feel some sort of passion or desire he may not have. I see him getting some sort of deal in the past. I am not sure what that means. It is like he does this, or we give you this and he pays them back for it. I am so confused by these cards (6 of cups/6 of pentacles). He doesn't want to elaborate. I pulled another card and got the 2 of wands ugh, probably why he didn't want to elaborate, there could be sexual favors here, sleeping with someone to get ahead. But I can also see him paying others for sex or paying others after the fact to silence them allegedly, who knows where he lies on that spectrum. That is what that deal probably is.

He is someone with their heads in the clouds, doesn't necessarily see the reality of things. He tends to not want to face harsh realities, so he disconnects to keep moving. I see him trying his best to seek pleasure in life and contain it, so I don't see him liking the discomforts of things and he tries to make light out of everything. Once things get hard, he will do what it takes to escape. He kind of has this hedonistic mindset. He tries to seek external satisfaction, but he doesn't understand that comes from within, so this is a vicious cycle for him, because he will continue to fill a void unless he finds happiness from within, but he tends to do anything to escape himself.

Sunghoon

It seems these guys are all getting similar card, 4 of cups has popped up for 3 members (Heeseung,Jake and him). Like seriously is there something they take that enhances their psychic abilities or is a gateway to it, like why do I keep seeing this with this group, da fuck is this. Similar to Heeseung, it is like they drink this when they are feeling down or something, or lack energy, they have them take this or if they feel numb, it helps them somehow. It helps build their strength and character, it gives them energy or strength. I mean, this doesn't have to be sinister, there are drinks that do that, but why is this popping up, and how is this tea lol Is it some secret concoction, like wtf. This Death card and the 5 of wands confuses me. He may not want his career to end, so he will compete to the death to achieve his success. I get a strong competitive drive and desire from him, and he will take anyone down who gets in his way. He can be pretty aggressive. I pulled another card, cause girl is nosy and got 9 of cups, so yeah, anything that can satisfy his needs he will go after it, like Jake he seeks pleasure and happiness and will do what it takes to get that and fulfill his desires. I see him having no problem stomping over anyone who gets in his way, sorry I sense that. I am not hating or judging, just going with the feeling I am getting here and sharing it.

This is a tea session, it isn't supposed to be pretty. The 2 of wands reversed just gives me someone who prefers to work on his own and go his own way on things. What he envisions for himself is for him, so not sure he is much into working with others but tolerates it. So, girl asked for another card and got the empress. I wonder if he is at odds with mommy dearest, sorry don't like her vibe energetically, don't care. But also, with creative pursuits he struggles to work with others and never really sees eye to eye on it. It is like he has his own path and own way to go about things. I can also see his Mom was competitive and cutthroat about things too and that is where he probably got it from. Okay, I shared a lot for him, but his intrigued me the most, so time to move on. Just saying, not here to judge, just sharing my interpretation. I will never hate on any of these idols. I still adore him and the others.

Sunoo

I feel like there could have been more of a promise for him or pact for him to achieve more than what he has achieved. I can also see him wanting to fly solo and have his independence and have his own career. But there is some sort of pact or deal he has made that makes him stay. Now with this Emperor card and the knight of wands card together. I take these two ways, either he is attracted to this dominant male figure, this could be dominant female too, and there could be an emotional connection to this person as the 2 of cups is here too. Or there is aggression towards this person as well, could be both. He could also impulsively lash out at this person. Not sure who this person is, but they seem to be a dominant presence in his life.

The knight of wands is moving towards the emperor. I see his energy as the knight of wands and the emperor as this other person, maybe the one he made a deal with. This person can be pretty dominant and controlling, this doesn't feel like his energy and with the 2 of cups, there is a presence of someone else here, that plays a role. But there is a need to take on this person or move on and go on his own. Now I always sensed if any member would go it would be him and still sensing that. I see him having a lot of creating energy and wanting to express that and maybe he will try to do that more or go elsewhere for it to be expressed.

So reading this back and got the message daddy issues, so that person could be his Father, the name on the card is actually called The Father, rather than the Emperor, so it was actually literal. I get a sense he may have some issues with his Dad. But then again, that two of cups makes me think someone else, so I think this refers to his Dad and someone else. Going to leave it there. His Dad allegedly being in the mix messed my head up. I sense this is a mixture of two stories here.

Jungwon

In the middle we got the King of Swords, once again showing me, he is a man with a lot of knowledge and information. I also felt this man can be a bit cold, calculated and callus. Knowledge is power to him and holding that knowledge is power to him. I can see him understanding how cutthroat the industry can be and may play into it. I see this 5 of swords as someone cutthroat, harsh and can cut people down with their words, so that is his energy. I heard catty, which is someone who is deliberately hurtful. Dang Jungwon you like this! He is someone who likes to have the upper hand, so breaking you down gives him that. Yup, even if he is my fave. I call is how I get it. This still doesn't change my mind on any of them though. I separate lol I can see him being a drill sergeant, pointing out mistakes, being a bit of a perfectionist. I say he puts a lot on his back, burns himself out, does way too much to achieve the success he wants. To climb to the top you got burn yourself out, this may be his mindset.

He doesn't seem afraid to communicate how he feels even if it is disruptive or hurtful. He is the type that says things maybe out of frustration and without thought, but mostly he is very calm and calculated with his approach as the KOS is in the middle, which represents to me his strongest energy. He is also showing some pact or deal in the past that have may have been promising his success. This 2 of cups always just gives me some sort of ritualistic bondage of some sort, like do they get some cups of something, go near water and do a seance or something with the company people and make some spiritual pact that may promise them a successful career. Whatever this pact is it will lead him to get the recognition and success he desires. I see him having a strong desire for success and recognition and doing whatever he can to get that.

I do love how straight forward and honest his energy is, even if it isn't always pretty, he got no shame, got to respect him for that.

Ni-Ki

He is showing he doesn't have much power or his hands are tied about things and situations that happen. I see him being passive and nonchalant about things. I can see a powerful woman may play a role in the company or group. I keep seeing this strength card with a woman on it pop up for them. She may pull a lot of the strings. I see him trying to gain an understanding through all these challenges and difficulties he may face as an idol and maybe coming to a realization about things. He seems stifled and has to fit a certain image. He feels stuck to fit that image. He seems like he is showing that he is a concocted image of others but not his authentic self. I can also see him being catty and destructive with his words as well and can be pretty harsh with his words, maybe has hurt others in the past.

I can also see him pushing others away, so they don't get too close. He is also showing me some deal in the past with this 6 of cups. I swear that popped up for everyone. Like a sold fantasy they got, but that it wasn't what they said it would be like. He is showing there are a lot of obstacles and challenges he has to face. And that he always has to defend himself. And he sees things crumbling and falling apart or things are a bit chaotic. I see him having lots of emotions that he tries to hide, but I do see it cracking or he sees that it will eventually break, or he will crack under having to hold those emotions in for so long.

Okay, that is what I get for this installment of tea sessions. I wasn't sure they had more to share, but I swear this group is pretty easy to get information from me and thankfully no sickness or any discomfort here from any of them.

[staylovesmiley]

Collision— Chapter 3

ᯓᡣ𐭩Pairing; Stray Kids × afab!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩Summary; You've known him for years but you never would have guessed the charming guy you've been online gaming with has been an idol this whole time. (masterlist here)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩 ᯓᡣ𐭩Warnings; implied afab reader (only they/them pronouns used for reader), mild angst?, pls I haven't written fanfics since 2018 patience and kindness is appreciated

Soft sunlight filtered through a small gap in the gamer’s blackout curtains, shining against your eyes as you stirred from your slumber.

Eyes opening slowly, you grimaced and turned your back to the window, thus becoming face to face with a still sleeping Lee Felix.

He looked so peaceful like this, up close you swore you could count each individual freckle across his features. You couldn’t help but reach out gently to brush a strand of hair from his face which unfortunately caused him to wake slowly. Eyes fluttering open, he inhaled deeply. “Star- good morning.” Felix smiled, the deep rasp of his morning voice causing your heartbeat to quicken as you took in the close proximity to the other.

The blonde didn’t seem to mind as he pulled you closer, snuggling into your hair and breathing in again. “Your shampoo smells nice, ya know.” He said with a grin evident in his voice. “Um, thank you?” You giggled as you relaxed against him. This was something you felt you could get used to, you thought to yourself before mentally pushing the notion to the side. “What time is it? We should probably get up-“ before you could finish the words the door slammed open and in marched a groggy looking Hyunjin. The artist went to flop onto the bed beside Felix as he whined about missing him until he stopped cold in his tracks to take in the sight before him. A playful smirk grew on his face, Felix’s eyes widening at the implication. “Hyune wait-“ he started, struggling to get out from the covers to grab the elder male but before he could Hyunjin was already out of the room in a fury of laughter shouting something in Korean you couldn’t quite make out. “Uh….Lix? He doesn’t think what I assume he thinks- right?” The Aussie didn’t reply, only launching himself out of bed and taking off after the other while yelling for him to stop.

You sat up in Felix bed and rubbed at your eyes, somewhat lost as to what was going on until Minho came in and gave you a warm, yet slightly mischievous smile. “So, you did stay the night….I thought Hyunjinnie may have just been teasing Lix but he was right.” Eyes widening, you quickly jumped to defend yourself knowing good and well what he was insinuating. “We didn’t do anything but sleep!”

It was Leeknow’s turn to laugh as he shook his head, walking over to offer you a hand. “Oh trust me, we would have heard if you did.” You let him help you stand out of bed before giving him a look of disbelief. “And what makes you think that?!” You almost shrieked, pulling your hand back from where he had helped you. More laughter followed and the elder leaned in close to whisper in your ear. “Because our dear Lixie doesn’t know how to keep quiet, if you get what I mean.” He practically purred before pulling back leaving you there shocked, making his way back to the door. “Well, are you coming? Breakfast is going to get cold.”

You stood there for a moment longer, brain malfunctioning at the knowledge just bestowed upon you. “Right- coming!” You called out to him before making your way to the small dining table by the kitchen where four out of five men currently in the apartment were sat.

Seungmin was on one side, cheeks puffed out with where he was eating his breakfast and effectively stuffing his face. Across from him sat poor jeongin who had a lap full of Hyunjin as the elder snuggled up to him as he attempted to feed the younger much to his dismay though he allowed it nonetheless. Beside them was your friend, Felix, whom you couldn’t make eye contact with at the moment due to Minho’s cheeky comment.

Speak of the devil, he came out from the kitchen and thrust a plate full of food into your hands. “Go take a seat, yeah? I’m gonna drive you back to your hotel to get changed then we’ll meet the others at the company and go over a game plan for finding you a more permanent place to live.” You nodded, not sure when these plans were decided on your behalf but grateful that some of the weight was being taken off of your shoulders. “Thank you, really you guys are being such a big help.”

All five of them turned to give you a smile. “Anything for Felix friend~” Hyunjin teased with a giggle as the blonde began swatting at his arm. “Ya! I already explained that nothing went on- we just had a normal, PG sleepover okay?” The boys all gave each other a knowing look before nodding to their aussie friend. “Okay, fine I’ll drop it…for now.” The artist smirked, sending a wink your way before returning to his (and Jeongin’s) breakfast.

After an eventful breakfast where Minho only had to mildly threaten Hyunjin once to get him to give their maknae some peace, you were sat in the passenger seat of the older man’s car as he drove you back to your hotel to change and grab anything you needed.

The radio played softly in the background and you began to zone out, listening to the man beside you humming along contently. It wasn’t a long drive to your destination, and though it was done mostly in silence it was peaceful and much appreciated after the chaos that had been that morning.

Upon arrival at your hotel, Minho pulled to the front expecting you to just hop out and go in alone. “Um, did you wanna come in and wait in the room while I get ready? Im sure it would be more comfortable than sitting in your car-“ You suggested, giving him a friendly smile. Leeknow returned the smile and began pulling into the parking garage instead. “I didn’t want to invite myself in, but if you insist.” There was a hint of mischief in his eyes that you didn’t miss, filing it away under caution in case there was any meaning behind the look.

Once you both made it into your room, you motioned for Minho to take a seat on the bed while you started to dig through one of your suitcases for something to wear. On your trip over here you had only brought one large suitcase, a duffel bag, and a backpack. You figured that would be enough to last you and if you needed anything else you could always go shopping while living here.

Coming up with a pair of distressed black loose fitting jeans and a light colored loose crop top that ended just at your waist you nodded to yourself in approval and headed into the bathroom. “Hey Min do you think I have time to take a shower?” You questioned, not wanting to keep everyone waiting for too long. “Only if you’ll let me join you.” He said, face deadpan and you stared with wide eyes until he burst out laughing so hard he almost fell off his spot on the bed. “Teasing! Gosh- you’re gonna have to get used to me, cutie.” He said with a wink as you rolled your eyes, blushing nonetheless as you closed the bathroom door and started the shower.

After cleaning up and getting dressed you came back out into the bedroom and sat by your suitcase to put on some socks and your black high top converse. “Enjoy your shower despite my absence?” The older teased with a smile akin to the Cheshire cat, you rolled your eyes at him once more and moved to stand by the end of the bed. “Yes, very much so. Hopefully I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” He shook his head and stood, offering his arm politely with his signature smirk. “Not at all, shall we head out?” You nodded and took his arm, walking back with him to the car.

Another quiet ride later and you found yourself walking into the JYPE building hand in hand with Minho. He waved to the people at the front desk before leading you into the elevator. “Never in my life did I picture I’d ever be here…” you said somewhat breathlessly as you took it all in. Leeknow chuckled, shaking his head at your awestruck expression. “I was like that when I first became a trainee…it will wear off over time.” You shook your head at him, looking into his eyes with curiosity. “Over time? You mean this isn’t just a one time thing?” The older smirked, nodded the affirmative as he gave your hand a squeeze and pull you out at your stop and down a long corridor to their main practice room. “Like it or not but you’re stuck with us now, cutie.” You blushed slightly but scoffed, looking at him with disbelief. “What, like your mascot or something?” “I was thinking more like our pet, but mascot is funnier.” He teased causing you to gasp and hit his shoulder. Minho was laughing at the appalled look on your face as the two of you entered the room, causing the seven men inside to look at you with curiosity. “Bangchan get your child-“ you huffed, pulling your hand away from a cackling Leeknow and making your way to Felix, plopping down beside him and cuddling into his side to pout from the second oldest males relentless teasing. Your poor introverted heart couldn’t take much more lest it explode in your chest.

“Oh god what now? Do I wanna know?” Chan groaned, looking to where Minho was finally calming down. “I was only joking around with them. They fluster so easily it’s too much fun not to.” He said with a smirk and wink thrown your way before sitting by Jisung and whispering something to him causing the younger’s eyes to widen comically and his cheeks heat up considerably.

Once everyone settled down, Felix turned to face you while taking your hands into his own. “So- while we were waiting for you we went ahead and started looking up apartments nearby that are available. We just need to see if any of them meet your needs?” You hummed, deep in thought. “Well somewhere that has the option to be fully furnished would be nice considering I don’t have any of that stuff and don’t really wanna go through the trouble of having to buy an apartments worth of furniture so soon after moving here.” They all nodded and voiced their agreement. “That’s a good idea! I wouldn’t have thought of that-“ Seungmin spoke up, scooting closer to show what he had found on his tablet.

The rest of the afternoon was spent creating a list of places to check, making appointments to view them, and then breaking off into a group to go see few you were able to schedule for that day. Chan, Minho, Felix, and Seungmin being the ones chosen to go with you while the others went shopping for dinner later that evening at the 3racha dorm (Han specifically was sent home to make sure things were presentable for guests).

Once you were done with the tours you were able to take that day you all met back at the dorms, Chan and Leeknow getting started in the kitchen while the rest of you sat in the living room playing games on the switch or chatting.

Somehow Hyunjin had managed to pull you into his embrace, your legs draped over his lap while he cling to your torso and played with your hair absentmindedly as he conversed with Han about a new drama he had started and thought the other would enjoy. Felix sat on the other side of you, your back partially leaning against his side as the two of you looked at where you had genshin pulled up on your phone. Everything felt domestically blissful and you felt yourself acclimating into their group nicely. How long you would be allowed to stay in their company like this you weren’t sure but one thing you did know was that you were going to cherish these moments while they lasted.

After dinner, Felix tried to bribe you into staying over again but you turned him down with the promise to meet up with him again for lunch the next day instead.

Minho offered to drive you back again but somehow you ended up in the passenger seat of Chan’s car instead. “Uh- not to sound like I’m ungrateful for the ride, just confused um wasn’t Leeknow the one taking me back to my hotel?” Laughter rang from beside you, the Aussie pulling out carefully onto the road towards your destination. “He was but I wanted to get some alone time with you. Is that okay?” The older glanced over to you at a stop light, flashing you a charming smile before turning his attention back to the road. You felt a warm blush creep onto your face and shrugged. “That’s okay, yeah-“ you stammered out before the cafe fell into silence slightly less comforting than when you were with the second oldest, perhaps due to the awkward nervousness you felt over how you had spoken about the individual sitting to your left previously. “So….Wriothesley, huh?” This caused you to choke on air, making Chan laugh hysterically. “Oh my god Felix I’m going to KILL you-“ you groaned with embarrassment and hid your face into your palms. “Really? It’s not that bad….no worse than the things stay have said.” He chuckled, his laughter finally calming down though an amused look still stayed on his face. “Still- I can’t believe he told you what I said that is so embarrassing….” You sighed, turning to look out the window with a soft pout before looking back over to him. “I’m sorry if what I said made you uncomfortable….I didn’t mean anything by it is was just-“ Chan cut you off, rather boldly. “I wish you did.” You froze, mouth shutting so quickly your teeth clicked together audibly. The oldest smirked at effectively shutting you up as he pulled up to the hotel. “Here we are. Let one of us know when you’ve made it to your room safely, yeah?” He said, smiling at you innocently as if he hadn’t just implied he wished you had feelings for him only seconds earlier. “Right….uh th-thank you again for the ride. For everything today really-“ and with that you quickly exited the vehicle and dashed towards the front door, making sure to turn around at the last minute to give a short wave then disappear into the building.

As he pulled away, Chan smiled smugly to himself and spoke to no one but himself. “This is gonna be fun…”

It was about a week later that you finally settled into your new apartment, one only a twelve minute walk to JYPE and even closer to the dorms. You were sure the boys pulled some sort of strings to be able to keep you so close by so soon but you weren’t about to complain. Just as life was starting to quiet (as much as it could having a group of eight men as your main clique), you had started going to classes and even arranged for some more of your personal belongings to be shipped from home in the states by your family so you could make things at your new apartment feel more personal.

The members seemed to always be over, or you at theirs. You never did bring up what Chan had said in the car that night and neither did he, so you assumed it was more teasing like Minho had been doing as well and decided to forget about it all together. Speaking of the teasing it never let up, as he said you were going to have to get used to him. It took some time but eventually you began to open up, though you were still too flustered to ever create a good comeback.

One night, marking your third week in Korea and your second in your new apartment, you were over at the cuties dorm for a movie night. Seungmin was out with some of his friends outside of the group, and 3racha were still in the studio working late, so that left you with Danceracha and half of Vocalracha for the evening. “Lix how much longer until the cookies are done?” Hyunjin asked for the millionth time as he sat on the floor with his face pressed against the oven window eagerly awaiting the sweet treats promised to him. “A watched pot never boils.” You said with a sing song tone as you passed by him with the dirty dishes from dinner, patting his head lightly. He huffed, looking up to glare daggers at you. “You’re supposed to be on my side! Traitor.” You just laughed and started washing the dishes.

“Woah there what are you doing?” Felix questioned as he came and started to push you out of the way of the sink. “I’m washing dishes what does it look like?” You asked, tilting your head to the side in confusion. “Nope you are our guest how many times do I have to say?” He scolded, successfully pushing you away and taking over what you had started. “Well then what am I supposed to do?” “You could come keep us company!” Shouted Minho from the couch, patting the spot between himself and the maknae. Shrugging, you made your way over and sat in the spot offered to you. “What are you up to?” You asked the youngest.

Jeongin was currently scrolling through his phone, eyebrows scrunched tightly together. “Looking for where to stream the movie we were thinking of watching-“ he answered, eyes still glued to the device. “Oh? What was it you guys settled on?” Minho was the one who answered, leaning over so his chest was fully flush to your back so he could whisper in your ear. “Something scary. But don’t worry, you can cling to me if you get scared~” he purred and you felt a shiver run up your spine. “Oh- that sounds fun I don’t think I’ve seen a scary movie in a while.” This was an understatement, you’re sure you had never seen a scary movie as you were well…scared to.

Once the snacks were done and the lights turned off, you pulled a blanket over your lap before hugging your knees to your chest. Not even halfway through the movie and you were doing just as he said, clinging to the dancer and hiding your face in his shoulder. “Geez, Cutie I didn’t think you’d be this scared…are you gonna be okay?” He asked, concern laced throughout his tone and tied to his words. “Y-Yeah I’ll be okay….sorry if I’m bothering you too much holding onto you like this-“ “No! I mean, I told you to so you’re just listening to what I said. I should have known you’d follow orders well.” He suddenly became smug, teasing you to hopefully distract from your fear but also to watch the blush he loved so much color your features for him.

Just at the height of the movie, the door swung open and a tipsy Seungmin stumbled In successfully scaring you so badly you jumped onto Leeknow’s lap and wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face there as you screamed. The older held you tight, surprised at first but then as he rubbed your back to calm you down he shot a glare at the second youngest. “Hey! Try to be a bit quieter when you return, please? You gave our Star a heart attack I’m afraid.” You whined, clinging tighter but now to hide your embarrassment. The others let out quiet chuckles thought they had been almost if not just as scared as you were by the puppy’s sudden arrival.

“I think nows as good a time as any to call it a night….do you want me to drive you home or would you rather one of us walk with you?” Minho questioned you. You pulled back to look at him, then the others. “Anyone wanna walk with me or am I letting the cat drive?” You asked, causing Leeknow to hit your shoulder lightly. “I should take offense to that but cats are the superior beings. So thank you.” You rolled your eyes and Hyunjin jumped up. “Since you four are already home so to speak I’ll walk Star home!” You smiled and stood, apologizing for jumping into Minho’s lap in the first place which he waved off with only some light teasing before bidding you both a goodnight.

On the walk to your apartment, the two of you had your hand interlocked, swaying them lightly. “So…how are you liking things here?” The artist asked, glancing down at you to his right. “I think I’m enjoying it here too much….I won’t want to leave when my visa is up in a couple of years.” Hyunjin frowned at the mention of your eventual departure, shaking his head like an etch a sketch to get rid of the troubling thoughts. “I’m glad you are having a good time…I hope that at least is partly because of us.” “It most definitely is! You guys have been so kind, I’m really lucky to have friends like you.” You replied, smiling brightly up at the other before looking ahead to see your building coming up. “Friends like us…yeah.” He sighed, the phrase barely a whisper so you didn’t quite catch what he had said. Once you made it to the front gates you bid him a farewell, insisting you could make it inside just fine.

Reluctantly, he agreed but waited until you were safely inside before heading back to his empty dorm.

It was roughly four fifteen in the morning when you woke to use the bathroom, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and turning to get out of bed. Upon your feet hitting the ground you were shocked wide awake by the wet feeling that shouldn’t be there.

Frantically you grabbed your phone and turned the flashlight towards the floor to see a few centimeters deep of water covering everywhere. You quickly turned on the lights and saw that it wasn’t just your room but your whole apartment had been flooded. The culprit was the waterlines connected to your refrigerator. You groaned, still a big groggy from your interrupted sleep and still needing to pee. You put in an emergency maintenance request, taking pictures of everything as you went for documentation as well as making sure all valuables were safe from damage or at least any further damage. Once you felt a little more in control of the situation the gravity of it all fell on you like a ton of bricks and you started to cry. First, a few tears slipped past unnoticed until soon you found yourself on the middle of your bed with your head in your hands and shoulders shaking with the force of your sobs. Crying only made you feel worse in that moment, the ringing of childhood bullies calling you crybaby echoed through your mind causing you to wipe furiously at your face to get rid of the tears. Once you had calmed down slightly came the next course of action….where are you going to stay now?

Hesitantly, you opened your contacts and dialed the only person you thought may be up at this ungodly hour who could come to your rescue.

“Star? Is everything okay? Are you crying?” The sounds of your sniffling made it through the phone before you could even speak. You thought you had calmed down enobut hearing the concern in his voice only caused the emotions to bubble up again. “Chris? I-I need your help….my apartment is-“ you choked a bit on a sob, causing the other to panic more. “Hey- it’s okay it’s gonna be okay, baby. Can you take a deep breath? I need you to be able to tell me what’s going on so I can help.” You could hear some rustling in the background, what sounded like Bangchan speaking to Han and Changbin while you took a few deep breaths at his instruction. “My apartment is flooded….like completely flooded and I don’t know what to do I already put in an emergency request but I don’t know what to do now do I just go back to bed is it safe to sleep here for right now I’ve never had anything like this happen I don’t know what to do-“ you began to ramble, nerves fully taking over your body and Chan had to speak over you at first to grab your attention. “Hey hey listen to me, Star? Hey- listen. Deep breaths,remember? Relax.” You heard the sound of a car door and then an engine coming to life. “I’m on my way to get you, okay? Grab whatever you’re going to need at least for a few nights you can stay at the dorms and we will figure out where to go from there. It’s gonna be okay, yeah? I’ll be there soon.” You nodded, taking a minute before realizing he couldn’t see you, “o-okay…thank you, Chan. I’ll see you soon?” “See you soon.” And with that he hung up the phone.

Not even ten minutes had passed and you heard his knocks at your door. You had your duffle slung over your shoulder as you made your way through your drenched apartment and to the front door where you opened it only to immediately be enveloped in the leaders warm embrace. The sobs started again, only softer this time as once again you felt an overwhelming sense of dread over the whole situation and now feeling like a burden to your friends for them having to take you in, even if they offered and it was only temporary. “Hey, everything is gonna be okay….I’ve got you, don’t worry.” Was all he said, rubbing small circles on your back as he let you sob into his chest.

author’s note: sorry for so much skipping around in this chapter involving the apartment hunting situation and the mini timeskip- I had started writing more details about the whole process of acquiring the apartment but it just felt so boring and like it wasn’t super idk necessary so I just skipped a bunch to keep things flowing a bit more- I hope you all don’t mind! Again, please let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list for this series and do let me know your thoughts I absolutely love reading you guy’s feedback it gives me the fuel to keep going I swear! ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ also if you have any feedback you’d like to share or perhaps any suggestions you’d like to see for what may happen in the series please do share I absolutely love listening to others ideas and it helps get my creative juices flowing at well so please feel free to send those my way (might even see them pop up in some capacity if I feel like it could fit well with where I want things to end up heading) ᕱᕱ⊹₊ ⋆

tag list; @softkisshyunjin @coastinglove @palindrome969 @amara-mars @whiteghostt @silverstar-1117

[lua-magic]

Numbers secrets that brings good luck.

Avoid using numbers eight and four in your mobile, or even in bank account number because eight represents 🪐 SATURN and Saturn has the energy to slow down things, avoid using symbols of Saturn as well ie infinity ♾️ because it represents loop, it will keep you in a loop and give you result after hard work.

Four is the number of Rahu, Rahu is an illusion, it keeps you stuck in desires without giving you result, Rahu is smoke, so Rahu makes you hallucinate and delusion which keeps you away from reality. Avoid using symbols of Rahu such as snake and Dragons, as I have observed many people get such tatoo and Rahu turns their life upside down.

So, avoid using numbers like 888 and 444 because you are only giving strength to Rahu and Saturn, as I have seen Many people uses such numbers thinking it is good luck, but until and unless Rahu and Saturn are well placed in your chart avoid eighth and four.

You can choose numbers like one(sun) which represents success and authority.

Two(Moon) which is your creativity and imagination.

Three(Jupiter) which knowledge and higher learning.

Five (Mercury) which skill and travel.

Six(Venus) Which luxury and beauty.

Seven (ketu) Untill and unless you want to go deep into Astrology and occult don't use this number as ketu gives you isolation but great idea comes only when you are isolated.

Nine(9) Nine is number of Mars, Mars is good as it gives you lot of energy and passion but also makes you accident and injury prone so don't overuse this number.

Certain combination of numbers you need to avoid that is 24 because two is moon and four is Rahu and moon and rahu are enemy planets. Again this number when add comes on six which is number of Venus, but instead you can use 51.

Next is 26 because when you add two and six it will come on eighth which also represents Saturn.

Avoid using 🖤 black colour, because it is colour of Saturn.

Blue is Rahu, and Red is Mars, use in minimal quantity, especially in your House.

Don't use red bedsheet and black bed sheets it will effect your sleep and married life negatively. Avoid using blue and grey as well, as grey is ketu.

Your bed room is Venus, so use more white colour in bedroom and rose fragrance.

If you facing problems with liquid cash then your moon is afflicted, increase water elements in your house, like keep an Aquarium, or a fountain.

If you want name and fame then use picture of sun in your house.

If you want to increase energy of Mars, then use tortoise symbol at home, because tortoise symbolises strong back which can take the load.

Tortoise symbol is good, if you are facing problems in job.

If you want to increase Jupiter energy that for knowledge and guidance then use more yellow colour in house and keep temple inside your House and keep it clean.

Avoid using half cut photos or symbols because it represents ketu.

If you have any idol or there is someone like whom you want to become, keep his/her photo in North eastern corner, because north east is your subconscious mind

Keep north east corner always clean and avoid keeping anything there

Remember, choose your idols wisely our subconscious mind is extremely powerful so if your idol's married life is mess even your married life will go for a toss, so choose very wisely whom you follow, don't follow any successful person mindlessly.

If you want to increase energy of Mercury, or if you are facing problems in your business then keep more green plants at your home and use more green colour..

[hwnglx]

wonyoung's ideal type

based on tarot. i do not know these idols personally. energies are always changing. what i say is NOT straight fact. pls take it with a grain of salt!

shuffled song: beautiful by crush

physical traits

good physical build. strong. broad shoulders. colder look. composed and laid-back. looks after their appearance. clean. polished and well put-together. classy. expensive-looking. keep seeing suits in my minds eye. i can see her type leaning towards actors or business men.

personality traits

so instantly, i heard the word “mature”. most cards that i got, reflect exactly that. wonyoung is likely to prefer a partner who's older than her in age. i also kept hearing “husband”.

she likes it, when a person is upright, proper, honest, responsible and logical. wonyoung wants her partner to have a level head on their shoulders, and doesn't like it when they get too overpowered or swayed by their emotions. she likes for her lover to have this calm, collected and cool aura to them.

she also doesn't want her partner to be a pushover, who's easily fooled, gets easily stepped on or doesn't know how stand up for themselves. wonyoung likes a lover who's resilient, strong and not only sure of what they want, but also aware of how to get it and not afraid of putting in the work.

she wants a reliable and stable partner, who's willing to take charge and lead the relationship.

wonyoung does want her partner to be confident, but not in this over-the-top and in your face, arrogant manner. the quiet, but powerful type of confidence is what attracts her to someone. the type of person who doesn't feel the need to stand out all the time in order for them to know their worth, or isn't in desperate need of external validation and approval.

i also see her being quite outspoken and direct with people she's close to, so she can like for her lovers to be able to gracefully deal with her honesty. she doesn't wanna have to walk on eggshells and sugarcoat her words in order for them to not feel hurt and offended.

wonyoung finds wisdom and knowledge very attractive. she's definitely the type who can get drawn to someone's intellect; the eloquent way in which they express themselves, the smart words they speak, the strong principles they stand behind.

communication plays a huge key factor for her. wonyoung wants someone who can be a match for her in terms of intelligence, and can keep up with her during conversations.

not only intellectual intelligence, but emotional intelligence is also something she values.

on a deeper note, wonyoung does want a person who can make her feel cozy and comfortable. someone whose hug can make her feel warm and safe, whose presence makes her feel protected and guarded, whose wise words can make her feel understood and listened to.

superficial factors (the way they carry themselves, their occupation and status, their wealth..) are important to her too; however, there is also a part of wonyoung, that desires someone who will provide her with this feeling of home, and familiarity. comfort is something that's significant for her.

something i've seen for several idols/celebrities now; they can often long for an existence in their lives, that can provide them with a restful and sheltered place to calm down.

someone they can just let loose with, away from the pressures that come with being in the public eye. you don't have to be this perfect doll, with a continuous smile on your face. you don't have to constantly be conscious over the way in which you display yourself; you can be yourself completely, and know this person won't criticize you for your trivial flaws.

wonyoung wants someone who will be ready to listen to her complain, is what i heard as well lmao. there seems to be a part of her, that can feel tired by the persistent need to put on this perfect front, and people overanalyzing her every facial expression, not allowing her to ever be in a bad mood; it can feel immensely restrictive for a human being, even moreso for a sensitive and emotional one like her. she desires for her significant other to be a person, who will just take her in her entirety, and not expect her to be something she's not.

not letting someone with strong virgo and cancer placements complain or whine, can feel like taping their mouth shut. they need a place to let out their nitpicking, protests and emotions. wonyoung can get very emotional, it's just a side of her that's usually much more hidden than the others.

her as a girlfriend

+ this surprised me a little, but wonyoung's youthful side can come out once she reaches a comfortable level with you.

i don't think this is the case too often, since it can take a while to actually get to that point, and she tends to gravitate more towards holding herself back. however, if wonyoung is with a person capable of making her feel comfortable enough to just let go, she can be a lot of fun. there is a side to her that's quite easygoing and lively.

she's also a girlfriend who's very caring and supportive. i can see her being generous and giving on both, emotional and material terms. she's not only good at providing her lovers with emotional support, but also doesn't seem to be stingy on financial terms, as long as her partner is willing to provide the same for her.

if you manage to fulfill her needs to her satisfaction (emotionally and material-wise), she will be ready to return you the favor as well.

to add, wonyoung is an incredibly observant lover, who has an excellent eye for detail. she's the type to notice and even point out the little things about you, you might not even be fully aware of yourself. like your little quirks and habits.

there's a very curious side to her, she's interested in getting to know her partners in and out. a girlfriend who asks a lot of questions and listens to what you have to say. i also see her being good at keeping secrets. she isn't really the type of girlfriend who's likely to air out all your business to her friends.

lastly, wonyoung seems to be a person who values creating meaningful and special memories together. i can see her being the type of girlfriend who takes a lot of pictures in order to capture beautiful moments in time, and be able to reminisce and look back at them later. she's a person who can make more trivial things feel beautiful; a dreamy and romantic side in her can finds its way out, if she genuinely likes you.

- wonyoung is very very independent. in a “this is my own garden, and i don't need anyone else to be decorating it for me.” type of way.

one of the reasons why she has such high standards, is because she doesn't wanna be allowing anyone into her life, who has the potential to damage or break down what she's been able to build for herself. she's a very hardworking business woman, has this clear set of longterm goals and objectives she's immensely focused on, and still doesn't think she's achieved just yet. she wouldn't want to sacrifice them for another person, who could possibly pose as a distraction from what's actually important to her.

she also doesn't wanna be wasting her time on someone who just spends her energy and nothing comes out of it. she'd rather put that effort into herself.

i heard “만만해” which means “pushover” she doesn't want people to view her as someone easy, just because she's sensitive. that's why she can be immensely selective over who she allows in enough, to see that more emotional and softer side in her. i do think she can be a very good caretaker, she has a lot of that gentle and nurturing empress energy in her. but in order to see that side of her, you have to prove you're worthy of her in the first place. wonyoung can get very mistrustful of people, and she has a lot of protective barriers.

to be honest, i don't really see much of her behavior as a girlfriend here, as much as i just see her ambition and determination for her own life. she's the star and main character in it, and currently doesn't want anyone intervening.

[zeroeightzeroone]

hi! so idk if your request are open so if they aren’t feel free do delete this

so we know that in the love collection y/n and jisung feel really comfortable around each other and will go to each other for things but what if one day y/n didn’t tell jisung how she was feeling that day and cried in her room by herself? i just wanted to see how he’d react to that and his response

again u don’t have to respond to this!! ty ^__^

all ears - han jisung

love collection

genre: hurt/comfort

pairings: fem!reader (infp) x idol!han jisung (istp)

warnings: readers' insecurities getting the best of her, self-deprecating language

notes: thank you for requesting!! i hope i did your request justice. (finally revealing y/n's roommate too)

wc ~2.9k | moodboard

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:

you feel dumb.

you feel stupid, absolutely stupid.

you hate the feeling with the utmost passion, but regardless of how much you detest it, it always seems to find a way back to haunt you months later, coming out from the depths of your mind into the forefront and creating a storm up there.

they're stupid thoughts.

thoughts that you shouldn't let get to you, but sometimes you can't help it. sometimes, they overpower you and silence your pleas to stop.

have you spoken to anyone about it? no.

your roommate, yunjin, has been on a work trip for the past couple of weeks, so you've had the apartment to yourself. no need to mask your emotions when you're home alone. on the other hand, jisung's schedule has been packed lately, and there is nothing new in his line of work. seungmin is on the same boat as your boyfriend; both share busy and separate schedules.

everyone has a busy life, and you don't want to burden them with things happening in yours.

when the b-word comes up in your passing thoughts, you can practically hear your boyfriend saying, "y/n, my love, don't invalidate yourself like that. you're not a burden, never. you're important to me; your thoughts and feelings are all important."

jisung always reminds you of how important you are to him. you know you could go to him for anything, and he'll be there to the best of his ability.

that's one of the many reasons why you love him so much.

the knowledge that he's there for you is one thing, but the one thing holding you back is yourself.

when you're in such a low and vulnerable state, you tend to shut yourself in, keep to yourself, and shield yourself away from others. you see yourself as an inconvenience or a burden.

the way you've rationalized it in your mind is that if you're tired of the shit happening in your own life, telling it to someone else would only tire them out as well. you didn't want them to grow tired on your behalf. it didn't seem worth it.

that feeling of self-doubt always pushes itself into the front lines from where it usually hides, creeping around in the back.

you wanted to try and cope alone, get through this on your own, but you just couldn't. you tried to tell yourself it's no big deal and that they're just fleeting, meaningless thoughts that will go away and you'll be fine, but you know you're lying to yourself.

you know that ignoring your overwhelming emotions lately will only worsen them. it's been a week since those thoughts started again, and here you are, curled up in a ball underneath your comforter, pulling it up under your chin as the mental and emotional exhaustion hits its breaking point.

your cheeks are stained with tears, and your eyes are droopy and puffy. you were supposed to go to work today but called in sick. you didn't have it in you to face your work head-on today.

the moment you hung up the phone with your manager, you cried, sobbing into your comforter. you felt absolutely defeated calling in sick. you weren't even sick, you lied in order to stay home.

here you were, practically waving the white flag after the events of your life, after your thoughts and feelings have beaten you down into a ball under your comforter. you hate yourself for calling in sick, feeling like you should've just sucked it up and gone in, put on a mask to hide your emotions.

'so many people have it harder than you do, y/n. the fact you could even lie and call in sick is a privilege. look at all this privilege, and you're out here pouting, how selfish.'

you shut your eyes at the thought, nuzzling yourself further into the blanket as a tear squeezes itself free and runs down your skin.

'you can't even deal with your own feelings, your own thoughts, let alone some tiny ass inconveniences. pathetic.'

you feel stupid and weak. you feel like a crybaby.

your eyelids flutter closed as you sob into the thick comforter, letting out all the built-up frustrations in hopes that you'll feel better afterwards.

'j's one and only has notifications silenced. notify anyway?'

jisung's concern grows when he reads over the little notice at the bottom of your text conversation.

of course, he noticed that you've been off the past couple of days. when he asked what was up, you played it off as nothing, but it's jisung; he knows you like the back of his hand.

he didn't believe for one second that nothing was up. it was clear there was something, but he assumed that you weren't in a place to talk to him about it yet, that you weren't ready. but now, you weren't even replying, let alone reading his messages.

jisung: good morning love, how did you sleep?

j's one and only: good morning i slept okay, how about you

jisung: i dreamt of you so i slept better than usual ;) i've got another busy day today, so i hope you have an amazing day my love

jisung: [photo attachment] i ate a bento box for lunch today

jisung: [audio file] exclusive sneak peek of a b-side [audio file] exclusive sneak peek of a skz-record

jisung: baby

jisung: y/n baby

he stares down at his phone, hoping to get–at least–a read receipt from you, but nothing. jisung finds himself swiping down the notification screen and swiping it away multiple times. on–probably–the fifth rotation, he pauses, an imaginary lightbulb flashing over his head.

jisung: i'm coming over

…

your sob session only further tired you out. you didn't have it in you to fight to stay awake, letting your heavy eyelids close as you cried to sleep around dinner time, curling up into a smaller ball as your tears soaked the comforter.

your eyes are puffy, your nose is runny and almost matches the flushed, red tint of your tear stained cheeks, your hair is dishevelled, and you have a prominent pout on your lips even in your sleep. the tears that fell from your eyes and stained your cheeks also bound your eyelashes together, as they glisten under the light of your bedside lamp.

a couple hours later, you're stirring awake, your head rolling left and right as a tired groan leaves your lips. with a hum, you blink slowly, coming into full consciousness. your brain also slowly waking up from its resting state. after a brief stretch and a rush of endorphins flowing through your body, allowing you to relax, your limbs fall back into the mattress with a soft thump.

with another sigh, you roll your head to the side to look at the clock on the wall, registering that you've slept for a little over two hours and that there are a couple of hours left until midnight. you aren't starving, but you do feel like you need something to fill you up, so you roll out of bed and make your way into the kitchen to grab a light snack and a glass of water, snatching your phone off the bedside table before making your way out.

the moment your screen comes to life, you find a couple of missed messages from jisung that you go to check first and send replies to.

j.one<3: [audio file] exclusive sneak peek of a b-side [audio file] exclusive sneak peek of a skz-record

j.one<3: baby

j.one<3: y/n baby

j.one<3: i'm coming over

you: :O i'm telling jyp also i just woke up from a nap so jibaby you should stay home and rest, i'm fine

"you're not fine."

you stop in your tracks while feeling like your heart has jumped out of your chest. a sharp gasp leaves you as your hand grips your shirt in utter shock.

walking out from the kitchen and standing across from you, the dark-haired boy's eyes are laced with worry and concern, and his bottom lip juts out in the slightest pout as he looks at you. worried eyes scanning over your figure.

"shit ji, you scared the shit out of me," you watch as he shuts his screen off, "what are you doing here?"

"it's friday," he pushes himself off the wall, "remember our little deal?"

you nod, mouth agape with realization. your little deal was that if jisung would come over on fridays when his weekend schedules were nonexistent or started later in the day, one of the reasons why he had a key to yours and yunjin's place.

jisung takes a few steps towards you, just enough to take your chin between his thumb and forefinger, moving your head around as his eyes graze your face. meanwhile, you look up at him with doe-eyed eyes, confused. he lets go of your chin and moves to take your hand, pulling you behind him as he walks into the living area.

"sit," he nods towards the couch. you follow his words and take a seat. stay there. i'll be right back. i made you some food."

you mutter a small agreement as your boyfriend walks out of view. a couple moments later, he walks out from behind the couch with a bowl in one hand and a cup in his other, placing both dishes down on the coffee table before he sits beside you.

"ji–"

"eat," he's quick to cut you off, but he's also quick to notice how sharp his tone is. not wanting to come off wrong, he quickly adds, " please."

you stare at him, to which he flashes you a quick smile. you're still quite perplexed, but you listen to him anyway; plus, whatever he's whipped up looks quite good, and you can't resist.

your boyfriend watches you eat for a few minutes before reaching for the glass of water on the table. the water is ready and on standby for when you need it. with a small smile, you exchange your food for the water he's holding, taking gulps while he places the bowl back on the table, followed by the water.

"tell me, what's wrong?" jisung has an elbow propped up on the couch, his hand coming down to pat the side of your head and play with a couple of strands of your hair. your hair is quite tangled after waking up from a nap.

"nothings wrong," you deny.

he purses his lips together before continuing, "you've been quiet over text all day," he tips his chin, nodding towards your face, "the red, puffy eyes and tear stains don't exactly back up your statement."

your appearance only further proved to the round-chinned boy that something was definitely going on. along with the ones he previously mentioned, your cheeks and nose were flushed with a tint of red, and your lashes were clumped together, a remnant of the tears you shed that tired you to sleep.

"i-it's stupid," you mutter, your eyes wandering away from jisung in shame.

jisung bites his tongue, taking a step back to observe you fully and your body language. he tries to put himself in your perspective before he says something. your boyfriend also doesn't want to come on too strong, as you're already going through something. he needs to use his 't' to his advantage while also keeping in mind your 'f, ' which is simultaneously logical but sensitive to your feelings.

"hey, look at me. whatever it is, it's not stupid," his hand travels down slowly, gently cupping your cheek. your bottom lip is tucked between your teeth as you meet his gaze. " if you want, you can tell me what's going on, and i'll listen. if you don't want to, then i'll still be here, however you need me to be here right now."

jisung's thumb caresses your cheek gently, paired with a smile as gentle as his touch. you lean into his palm, the word 'hug' leaving your lips with a breathless sigh, to which jisung adjusts both your positions immediately.

the hug becomes a cuddle as you both lie on the couch facing each other, your face buried in jisung's chest, and one arm is squished between you two and the other around his torso. on the other hand, Jisung has an arm under your neck, and the other is holding you close, the smell of your shampoo gracing his senses from how close you are.

your body relaxes but your heart still feels heavy, although it's an improvement compared to a couple hours ago.

jisung's fingers toy with the strands of your hair, occasionally brushing through and trying to gently undo the knots. his mind wandering.

of course, you and jisung aren't attached by the hip and texting all day, every day; there have been times when a couple of hours linger between replies. either you or he would send a message beforehand letting the other know that there would be a delay on your end.

jisung knows you like the back of his hand. he knows your habits and mannerisms. so when you weren't replying or reading his messages after the exchange in the morning, coupled with your demeanour over text and a couple of phone calls, he knew something was wrong.

he knows how you get when you're in the wrong place mentally and emotionally, how you tend to shut yourself in and away from people. saying you want to be alone when you really don't.

before he left the company building, he made sure to check in with chan and the group manager regarding the weekend schedule–wanting to spend as much time as possible with you. sure, this meant he moved some things around, and his sunday would be more packed than usual, but jisung wanted and needed to be there for you.

and you didn't need to know that detail.

when jisung unlocked the front door, he did it as quietly as possible. he looked around the living area and kitchen to see if there were any signs of you, but the kitchen was clean, minus a used glass cup on the counter. he then made his way down the hall and to your bedroom, cracking open the door slowly, trying to avoid it creaking just in case you had been asleep, and you had.

jisung slowly approached the side of the bed, knelt, and observed your sleeping state.

your room was dim, and the only light source was the lamp on your bedside table, thus a yellow hue illuminating your features. jisung felt his heart ache at the sight of you. the air of tranquillity from your sleeping state contrasted with the clear signs of distress that lulled you to sleep. your cheeks were still quite damp with tears, and there were a couple of wet spots on your comforter and pillow.

the sight of you asleep with tear-stained cheeks had jisung wondering what had been going on inside your head the past couple of days, wanting to know the gravity of the storm inside your mind that eventually blew over and resulted in you, isolating yourself, alone and crying yourself to sleep. jisung wanted to get a glimpse into that mind of yours, fight off the thoughts and feelings that brought you to such a low point.

at the same time, the longer he looked at you, jisung wondered if he had done something. he wondered if he had done something lately that caused you to shy away from coming to him, that caused you to resort to crying alone in your room as the easier option. but jisung needed to fight those thoughts to the back of his mind, snapping himself to the realization that this isn't about him but about you and how you feel.

jisung didn't want to wake you up too soon, so he got back up, closed the door behind him softly, and made his way to your kitchen again. he opened and closed the cupboards, fridge, and freezer to identify ingredients he could whip up for you, just in time for you to eat once you awoke.

building up the confidence to speak, your fingers toy with the fabric on the back of jisung's hoodie. you take deep breathes and open your mouth.

"it's the feeling of self-doubt again…" you say softly, almost as if you're in a public place and spilling a secret—quiet but just loud enough for jisung to hear. he hums in acknowledgment, "i just... i don't know."

"how do you need me right now?"

you take a second to think, contemplating what would help you the most now.

"here with me, like this," you move your head up to look at him, "i just need someone to listen."

jisung nods, adjusting his position, but his hold on you never falters; he keeps you close. when he's adjusted, he nods again, this time with a smile and a look of determination.

when jisung felt your body relax in his arms earlier, he wished he could have been there sooner. he wished that you could have sobbed in his arms instead, and he would've held you tight instead of you crying into your pillow and comforter, alone in the dark. what matters to him now is that he's here, and he'll be here however you need him.

"i'm all ears for you, baby."

[oldschool-lolita-archive]

Do you have any tips for digging for old photos? I also want to try to archive as much as possible before fc2 goes down. Love your blog!

Thank you!

This is a great question that I don’t have a great answer to, but I will try my best.

I think i’ve shared about finding lolita photos before but that was about stuff that is on the wayback machine and has already been archived. For barely-surviving websites you have to think a little outside the box.

As someone else had said before, you can straight up search for “site:fc2web.com *keyword*” to get a list of websites that could be relevant. ロリータ, ロリィタ and ゴスロリ are useful for japanese language sites. Not all of the results will be for lolita fashion so pls do keep that in mind!

I like to search for web domains that I know were popular 20 years ago but are mostly inactive now so that I am unlikely to get modern website results.

If you are very lucky, some of the lolita sites that you can find on the wayback machine might still be online and have additional photos that have not been archived yet.

You might also notice that some lolita photos I share actually come from cosplayer or photography websites back when lolita fashion could be found at conventions. From an outsider view, lolita fashion was just cute frilly clothes that could be used for a photoshoot to promote an up and coming cosplayer or internet idol. If the person has no knowledge of lolita fashion they will probably categorise it as ‘original maid’ ‘original costume’ or ‘private clothes’.

I also use keywords relating to visual kei bands that I know were popular for teen girls and might have an overlapping interest in lolita fashion (e.g Malice Mizer, Gackt, Pierrot, Glay, L’arc en Ciel, Dir en Grey, Laputa, Sex Machine Guns, etc.)

If you have come across a popular photographer or cosplayer from the past (and they have a unique enough name) you can try to search it on a normal search engine to see if it has been featured on any other websites. Or maybe they have an updated blog or social media account that has a few throwback photos of their work from a long time ago.

It’s all a bit of a gamble, but that’s what makes it fun :D

[violetdawn001]

What is with the Dreamers' Houses?!?! Part 3.7 Lurien's Spire - WHAT is WRONG with Lurien's Office?!?!

Welcome back! Do you remember the last part where I was talking about how Patriotic Lurien was with all the Hallownestian crests?

I was about to leave it off here, until I realized something strange. There are no King’s Idols in Lurien’s Spire. Mr.-Certified-Pale-King-Fanboy has no King’s Idol from which he would worship the Pale King. What kind of fan would not have an idol or picture of his king? Especially in his bedroom!

Again, I was going to leave it even after checking the Hollow Knight wiki. Tumblr/Ao3 artist Aspidike already wrote a whole comic on it after all, so why should I spend time on it?

Looking back on it, I really should have spent more time wondering why Lurien has no King’s Idols to worship the Pale King when HERRAH is shown to be more religious than him. The Spider Queen has a Shrine inside her den while Lurien doesn’t even have a single idol or a chapel!

I only began to look deeper at the lack of King’s Idols in Lurien’s Spire when I realized there is something else missing in the Watcher’s Spire. Take a look at the carpet in Lurien’s Office.

Why does Lurien have purple carpet that completely covers the floor? Even wrapping around the pillars leading up to his Office?  Why when everywhere else in his Spire has RED flooring and Hallownestian seals…

And that’s when it hit me. Not only are there no King’s Idols in Lurien’s Spire, but there is also nothing of the Pale King in Lurien’s Office a.k.a where he lays slumbering.

Look at Lurien’s Office again.

No painting of the Pale King, only that of the City. No massive window of the Hallownest Seal, only open windows.  There are Hallownest Seals on the banners…but no Monarach Wings.

Please, allow me to explain the importance of the lack of Monarch Wings. Take a look down below at the kinds of Hallownest Seals seen across Hallownest.

The above photo is a drawing as I suck at photoshop.

Design 1 or the Seal design is most reminiscent of the Pale King with his Monarch Wings, hence why it will be often referred to as the Monarch’s Seal in this essay.

Design 2 or the Crest design is the most often seen crest design across all of Hallownest. It is the center or base that Designs 1 & 3 form their own designs on. I often take it to mean Hallownest itself versus the Monarch’s Seal which brings to mind the Pale King.

Design 3 is the design, which to my knowledge, is only seen in the City of Tears, especially on the noble’s side of the City. Originally, I called it Plumage Design and pondered whether or not this was an allusion to the Pale King, but now I believe it is a homage to the White Lady. See the comparison down below.

Part of the reason why I am making such a big deal out of the different designs is due to the Medieval heritage the game Hollow Knight draws on. If kings, knights, and keeping your oaths to your lords is greatly important to the game, then having a coat of arms and its impact are not a stretch. We already saw this in Monomon’s portion of the essay when we realized that Monomon was the one in charge of the Teacher’s Archives. Due to the lack of Hallownestian crests (or anything of Hallownest) as well as symbols in the benches being Monomon’s mask, we concluded that the Teacher’s Archives was not part of Hallownest proper, but rather natural territory under Monomon’s direct charge.

Having three different Hallownestain crests is vital. While the standard Design 2 or the Crest design allows one to tell that the messenger is from Hallownest versus the Mosskin, Designs 1 and 3 allow us to tell if the message came from the Pale King or White Lady themselves. The common Hallownestian official might only bear the Crest Design while servants in the White Palace bear Designs 1 & 3. Though I bet the Queen’s gardeners only bore the Plumage Design.

With this in mind, let us turn back to Lurien’s Spire to see which crests he bears throughout.

These are all locations through-out the Watcher’s Spire containing different versions of Hallownestian crests. Now please compare these with that of Lurien’s personal Office and Final Resting Place.

Here is the ONLY Place I found the 1st design or Monarch Seal in Lurien’s Office… If you actually can count it since it’s OUTSIDE his office.

The two places where the Monarach Wings appear in Lurien’s Office are in two locations that are OUTSIDE his office. The first is on the Spire’s wall which is just typical City of Tears architecture while the second winged crest is on the elevator.  AKA, a standard design that is easily removed from the room.

What does this mean for Lurien, the fandom’s Pale King fanboy, with nothing of the Pale King inside his office? This is supposed to be Lurien’s personal space where there would be tons of Pale King merch and references. Yet, upon closer examination, not only are there no references to the Pale King, but Lurien went out of his way to hid any references to the White Lady as well! The purple carpet extends all the way down, hiding Design 3 or the White Lady’s crest!

Forget any blacklash from an shocked fandom, the lack of references to the Royal Couple in Lurien’s Office reeks of possible danger for the Watcher. Lurien is the 3rd most powerful bug in Hallownest, right underneath the Pale King and White Lady. Such massive influence needs to be massively watched and carefully checked to ensure that the Watcher doesn’t use that power against the Royal Couple. Yet the Watcher, in his own personal office, does not have any direct reference to either of them.

We do not know how the Royal Couple would feel that Lurien went out of his way to not show any direct alliegance in his private workspace and room. 

Now, I already know what you are thinking. Lurien’s canon dialogue in the Dream Realm. “For King Beloved…to sleep and serve…” It seems as if all of his dialogue is suggesting the exact opposite picture of Lurien’s Office, that he put the Pale King above everything…but the Pale King isn’t the only reason why he became a Dreamer. To quote Lurien’s last journel entry:

“Sleep beckons eternal and these words become my last. Though my gaze shall no longer fall upon this city, I will act forever in its protection. For King, for bug, for Hallownest, I head now to my rest.”

Lurien is a poet. 2)  His actions are for the forever protection of his City. 3) Lurien’s reasons for acting are not solely for the Pale King, but for bug and Hallownest. This is important as it shows Lurien separates Hallownest from the Pale King in his mind.

While Lurien DID say “For King Beloved”, there is nothing of Pale King inside Lurien’s personal Office. It seems like the care Lurien had for the Pale King was like the love Americans have for their flag, unwilling to let the flag touch the ground…but not going so far to have the flag inside their bedrooms…unless the love for the flag goes beyond patriotism to nationalism.

Finally, what does this lack of crests mean for Lurien’s character? I am afraid that I will have to dive into symbolism to explain as a certain Watcher doesn’t have much dialogue.

The lack of Monarch crest on the banners shows how Lurien always put Hallownest first, not the Pale King’s interests.  Lurien could have snuck in one of the bigger banners with the Monarch crests, but chose the smaller banner with Design 2 to hang instead. Symbolically, this shows how Lurien’s heart with the kingdom first.

The lack of the Plumage Crests was brought about by Lurien redoing the floors, turning the red floor to purple carpet. As seen before in previous essays, the color red is associated with the nobles and the majority of the Plumage Crests are seen on the noble’s side of the City. Meanwhile, the color purple is primarily seen in Lurien’s Spire AKA Lurien’s color. Just as purple takes from both red and blue to rise to higher wisdom, inspiration, and humility, so Lurien rises above the roots to see a bird’s eye view of the whole culture of Hallownest, not just the nobles who grow (pun intended) from the White Lady.

The open windows has its own symbolism as Team Cherry could have given Lurien’s Office those magnificent Monarch crest windows. Instead, they chose to not just have no seal, but almost no window. Practically, this means Lurien can easily reposition his telescope anywhere so he can see everywhere in the City. But what about symbolism? The answer is that Lurien can see everything CLEARLY and without basis. He sees what is truly there, not what the Pale King wants him to see or expects him to see. Lurien isn’t even plagued by his own personal weakness or anger that could cause the glass to fog up. He can SEE.

Yes, Monomon. You can stop listing all the things wrong with the City. Lurien already has your list and THEN some. 

Here we are at the end of this section and I cannot believe that CAREPT of all things would reveal how Lurien's loyalty is to Hallownest first, not the Pale King.

If you wish to read more of the Essay, click one of these links below.

Part 1.0: Herrah's Den : Here

Part 2.0: Monomon's Archives: Here

Part 3.0: Lurien's Spire: Here

Part 3.25: Lurien's Spire: Windows and Colors: Here

Part 3.5: Even More of Lurien's Spire. Here

Part 3.7: What is WRONG with Lurien's Spire? (You are here)

Part 3.8: Even, even More of Lurien's Spire: Secret Room: Click here

Part 3.9 Watcher Knight Boss Room! Here

Part 4.0 What We Know We Don't Know About the Dreamers' Houses: Click Here

Link to essay on Ao3: Here

If you have thoughts you wish to share, please feel free to comment or reblog! Especially with the above observation!

[miakorei]

Thinking about an idol au where Izuku is in a unit with Todoroki and Bakugo. Izuku is normally the sunshine center—always upbeat and wearing a smile, a breath of fresh air, a soothing balm for those who see him. This is no different for one extremely ‘tired of life’ Shouta Aizawa.

Shouta is shown a clip of the group one day by his very musically inclined best friend Hizashi, and he can’t bring himself to look away from their sunshine center. Even afterwards Shouta just can’t stop his mind from wandering back to that video. He almost thinks that the feeling he felt at the time was a vague sense of attraction. But that would be illogical— it was one measly clip, barely a few seconds, and a single smile. Which is why he had to watch more. And there it was hook, line, and sinker. He had fallen for the trap.

Shouta falls down the rabbit hole much harder and with far less grace than Alice ever did. He finds clips of Izuku’s trainee days and starts watching all the way to present. Shouta enjoys falling under the radar by giving off the air of laziness, but the reality is he doesn’t do half-baked—especially in regard to being knowledgeable. He likes to obtain all the information he can before making a decision, thank you very much. Regardless of how absolutely fucked he already was. Not that he would admit it. However, when perusing the videos of Izuku’s career, many things became apparent to him.

First and foremost Izuku used to suck. Bad. His singing wasn’t the best, but his dancing was by far the worst. The poor kid had two left feet and then some. But at some point he had begun to significantly improve. It wasn’t because of the instructors from his agency—they had already given up on him at that point. The kid was far too average in everything besides enthusiasm from what Shouta could see. It was so obvious that it soon came up as a question in an interview after the unit’s debut. Shouta clicked on the video featuring a woman in a cute dress with a curated smile and more energy than he could ever imagine having.

“Many fans have noticed that your dancing ability received a significant boost out of no where during your trainee days. What’s your secret?”

The camera follows the microphone over to a head of soft verdant curls, somehow tamed to be parted down the side. A pair of big, round green eyes, so bright and filled with mirth, looks directly at the camera and Shouta’s heart stutters for a second. And oh, that was weird.

Izuku smiles a smile different from his signature sunshine smile. It’s shy, awkward, and it makes something warm stir inside Shouta’s chest. For some reason, it feels like he can’t get enough air. His head’s fuzzy and he feels lightheaded. Maybe he’s coming down with something. Shouta returns to the screen from his musings when he hears what he thinks is a little laugh. It’s short, strained, and more like a mixture of a whimper and getting the air knocked out of you than an actual laugh. Izuku reaches up to rub his neck before looking away from the camera, blush rising on every exposed freckled surface. And Shouta can’t help the absent contemplation of how far down that delicious red extended.

“Actually…I stumbled across an online mentor of sorts. I ended up studying their videos quite a bit. It’s a faceless underground dancer that not many have heard of, but I’ve come to admire.”

And oh.

“Well don’t keep us in suspense now.”

Oh, Shouta knew.

“No one knows their actual name but…”

In the safety of his own home, when he fell out of his chair—eyes wide, pink quickly staining the pale of his cheeks and ears— in tandem to the name that fell from Izuku’s plush lips, Shouta knew.

“They go by Eraser.”

Shouta Aizawa had to admit that he was already irrevocably fucked.

[koyagifs]

𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓻𝓮𝓯𝓵𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼

pairing: wooyoung x reader au: non idol | werewolf | genre: angst word count: 836 words summary: not wanting to bring shame to your family, you left without giving the chance for Wooyung to confess. warning(s): -

The air was thick with tension in the pack house as whispers swirled around you. Nearly twenty-one, you felt the weight of expectations pressing down, like a heavy cloak you couldn’t shake off. The full moon was just hours away, and it would be your last chance to shift.

As the youngest and the last in your family to transform, the concern of the pack was palpable. They didn’t mean to cast doubt on your abilities, but the murmurs grew louder, each word wrapping around your heart like a vice. “What if they’re right?” you thought, anxiety gnawing at your insides. “What if I’m truly unworthy?”

You paced the small clearing behind the house, the forest looming around you like a vast, unwelcoming sea. It was supposed to be a time of excitement and anticipation, a rite of passage, but all you felt was dread.

No wolf meant such a low chance of having a mate. No wolf meant you were just a human in their eyes. Your heart ached with the thought of being cast out, just like your only friend had been. They’d kicked him out for not shifting, too. You’d watched the hurt in his eyes as he packed his things, feeling powerless to help.

“Are you okay?” The sudden voice startled you. You turned to find Wooyoung standing a few feet away, concern etched across his features. He had always been there for you, a light in the darkness, but even his presence felt like a reminder of what you were losing.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, your voice trembling. “I’m scared, Wooyoung. What if I’m never able to shift? What if they—”

“Stop.” He stepped closer, cutting off your spiraling thoughts. “You’re not just ‘the human.’ You’re part of this pack, and that doesn’t change just because of a shift.”

“But they don’t see it that way,” you said, tears stinging your eyes. “They see me as a liability, as someone who doesn’t belong. What if I’m next?”

His expression softened, and he shook his head. “I won’t let that happen. You’re stronger than you realize, and you’re not alone. I’m here.”

Your heart ached at his loyalty, but doubt still clawed at your insides. “What if they don’t want me here anymore? What if they just see my humanity and decide I’m not worth the trouble?”

“Then we’ll find a way to change their minds,” he said, his voice steady and resolute. “You deserve to be here. You’ve fought for this pack time and again. Don’t let them make you feel otherwise.”

But as the moonlight filtered through the leaves, you couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom. The weight of the pack’s expectations pressed down on you like a heavy shroud, suffocating any hope that flickered within.

Wooyoung was worried as well. He had felt the bond the moment he shifted on his eighteenth birthday; he knew you were his mate. But with that knowledge came an overwhelming sense of responsibility. As the beta’s son, he had a duty to uphold, especially if he were to take over his father’s position one day. His wolf cried out for you, sensing the turmoil that surrounded you, but he also felt the weight of the pack’s expectations on his shoulders.

-

Your mother waited all night for you to return, her worries keeping her up as she sat outside in the cool night air, a blanket draped over her shoulders and a bottle of water in her hand. The porch light cast a soft glow, illuminating her worried features as she scanned the path leading back to the pack house.

Inside, your father lay on the couch, dead asleep, unable to bear the thought of his only daughter not being able to shift. The heavy silence of the house felt suffocating, an echo of the unspoken fears that weighed on all of you.

Unbeknownst to you, Wooyoung was outside as well, waiting for you in his wolf form. The sleek, dark shape blended into the shadows, his senses heightened as he tried to catch a whiff of your scent. He knew you had left the pack house to think, but as the hours dragged on, concern gnawed at him.

His instincts screamed that something was wrong, and every minute without you felt like an eternity. Just when he was about to shift back, a heartbroken howl pierced the stillness of the night, sending chills down his spine.

His stomach dropped. It was a sound he had never wanted to hear—raw, filled with anguish. Rushing toward the sound, he found himself in a clearing where your mother, in her wolf form, stood trembling. Your father, in a desperate attempt to comfort her, nuzzled against her flank, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears.

When your father noticed Wooyoung approaching, his gaze turned to a stern, resolute expression. He shook his head slowly, an unspoken message passing between them. The realization hit Wooyoung like a punch to the gut: you never came back home.