#and i csn stand some changes

[st4rlvr]

touch it || csn

(the song goes with the story :))

There was a time San and I were everything. And nothing.

That’s the only way I know how to explain it those months we spent wrapped up in each other like it meant something, when it never really did. At least, not out loud. The sleepovers that weren’t just sleep, the way he’d text me at 1AM just to hear my voice, the way I knew which hoodie to grab from his floor, which side of the bed to take, the exact spot on his neck that made him stop breathing for a second. All of it said more. All of it felt like something. But we never gave it a name.

Maybe that’s why it was so easy for him to stop.

One morning, I left his house like I always did. Slipped my shoes on by the front door, hair still damp from his shower, heart still fluttering from the way he kissed my shoulder before rolling over in bed. I told him I’d see him later. He said nothing. I figured he was tired. He wasn’t. That was the last time I ever heard from him.

No explanation. No fight. Just silence.

And now I’m here, at some overcrowded party in Wooyoung’s backyard. It’s humid, the music too loud for the number of conversations trying to compete with it. I shouldn’t have come, but Wooyoung had begged, said he missed me. That San wouldn’t be there.

I remember the way he looked me in the eye when he said that.

Now I’m holding a red cup that tastes like regret and cheap mango vodka, standing frozen in the grass while San laughs at something Wooyoung just said.

I must be imagining it. But no. He’s really here.

Hair longer. Shoulders broader. Same hands tucked into his pockets, same lazy grin, like he doesn’t have a single heavy thing weighing on his chest. Like he didn’t spend six months tangled up in mine. Like I don’t exist.

I don’t even think he’s noticed me.

Or maybe he has and he just doesn’t care.

I force my feet to move, take another sip, force myself to talk to people who don’t really matter, smile too big when someone compliments my dress. I can feel his presence like static in the room, my body tuned to him like it always was. It’s pathetic. I hate it. I miss it.

The song changes. Someone brushes past me and I catch a glimpse of him again—closer now, leaning against the patio railing like he owns the place. And he still hasn’t looked at me.

“Y/N.”

I turn to Wooyoung. His face is a little red, his drink sloshing in his hand. He’s tipsy, but not drunk enough to not notice the fire behind my eyes.

“You said he wouldn’t be here,” I say flatly.

Wooyoung frowns. “I didn’t know he was coming. He didn’t say anything. I swear.”

I believe him. But that doesn’t make this easier.

“You want me to tell him to leave?” he offers, voice low, a little guilty.

I shake my head. “No. Don’t make this a thing.”

Because if I caused a scene, San would win. He’d know he still had some kind of power over me.

But then—like the universe decided I didn’t deserve a break—I feel it. That unmistakable feeling of being watched. And when I look up, it happens.

He’s staring at me. For the first time in months, San sees me again. And I wish he didn’t.

Because the way he looks at me—it’s not with hate, not with anger. It’s worse.

It’s with familiarity. Like he still knows me. Like he remembers.

His lips part, like he might say something, but I turn before he can. I leave my cup on a table, brush past people who don’t know what it means, and make my way back through the crowd like it doesn’t hurt.

But god, it does.

Because he let me go without a word. And now he’s here breathing the same air like nothing ever happened. Like I was just a dream he woke up from and forgot to text back.

So I do the only thing I can do.

I keep walking. And I don’t look back.

I sat back down with Wooyoung on the patio bench, the wood still warm from the sun, sticky under my thighs. He handed me my cup again like he hadn’t seen the look on my face two minutes ago. Like he hadn’t watched me unravel just from one glance.

San was still there.

Leaning against the house like it was built just to hold him up. Effortlessly folded into whatever group he was talking to now, his laugh echoing across the yard like it hadn’t been carved into my memory a thousand times. His hand shot out to smack someone’s arm, his eyes crinkling like they always did when he was genuinely laughing, head tilted back, that silver earring catching the patio lights.

It was disgusting. And beautiful.

And god, I missed him.

Wooyoung was flicking through songs on his phone, his brows furrowed like it was the most important decision of the night. His bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he concentrated,

“Remind me why we're taking a break

It's obviously insane

'Cause we both know what we want..”

I blinked. My stomach dropped. He did not just—

“Seriously?” I muttered, my voice already tighter than I meant it to be.

“What?” he smirked, not looking at me, clearly pretending it was random. “It’s a classic.” Yeah. A classic way to gut me open.

Ariana’s voice washed over the yard, sensual and heavy, and the bass rattled the deck under us. I took another sip, the alcohol going down like syrup. It burned less than the feeling in my chest did.

Because the second that chorus hit, I looked up—and San was already looking at me.

God. Like really looking. Not just a glance. Not just a flicker. It was full-on, eyes-still-crinkled but now it was softer, like he knew this song too. Like he knew exactly what it felt like to have fingers ghosting over skin that used to be yours. To touch something you shouldn’t anymore.

He didn’t look away. Neither did I.

I hated how the beat aligned with my pulse. Hated how I could feel it all the memory of his fingers on my neck, his mouth on my collarbone, his breath in my ear—all of it. Right there. In public. In a backyard filled with noise and strangers, and there he was, ruining me all over again with one stupid look and a half smile.

“I didn’t know he was coming,” Wooyoung mumbled again, quieter this time. More serious. “I know,” I said. And I meant it.

But it didn’t change how my chest was buzzing or how I had to bite the inside of my cheek just to ground myself.

I heard San laugh again. Not for me this time. For someone else. The song kept playing. And I kept pretending I wasn’t falling apart.

Wooyoung had gone inside to mix another round of drinks, his usual chaotic bartending energy leaving a trail of loud apologies and the scent of tequila behind him. The backyard felt quieter without him—even with the music pulsing from the speakers and the soft laughter of people scattered across the grass.

I sat alone on the patio couch, the cushion dipped beneath me, legs curled slightly to the side, fingers toying with the rim of my cup. The condensation had soaked through the napkin I’d wrapped around it. My skin felt clammy. Every now and then, I glanced toward the side of the house where San had been.

But he wasn’t there anymore. I figured he left. The thought made my stomach twist in some sick kind of relief and disappointment. I hated how much space he still took up in my head. How much space he always had.

I was too deep in it to hear him coming. Then— A warm dip of the cushion beside me. Close. Too close.

And then a breath, hot against the shell of my ear, low and deliberate:

“Didn’t think I’d see you here.”

My body froze. For a split second, I thought I imagined it. That my own brain was playing some cruel, tequila-soaked trick on me. But then I felt it—him. His voice. Familiar, husky. Soft around the edges like he didn’t want anyone else to hear it but me.

I turned my head slowly. And there he was. San. Up close. Closer than he’d been in months.

He smelled the same—like citrus and the special detergent he bought and some memory I didn’t ask to relive. His eyes scanned mine, hovering between curiosity and something unreadable, something dangerous. Like we were still those same two people again. Like nothing had happened.

“I could say the same,” I managed, my voice quieter than I wanted it to be.

He tilted his head slightly, the corners of his mouth twitching like he wasn’t sure if he should smile or not. “I almost didn’t come,” he admitted. “Didn’t know if you’d be here.”

“Thought we weren’t doing that anymore,” I said.“Doing what?” “Pretending to care.” The smile dropped. For a moment, there was just silence—thick and unspoken.

Then he leaned in, just an inch, voice quieter than before. “I never stopped.”

I wanted to slap him. I wanted to kiss him. I hated him for both.

“Missed you,” he muttered.

It was barely audible, like it slipped out before he could think better of it. I turned my head slightly, close enough now that I could smell him—really smell him. That warm, dizzying mix of whatever cologne he always wore and the sharp burn of whiskey clinging to his breath. His cheeks were flushed, but not just from the alcohol. The proximity had done that too. We were pressed into the same space, our knees barely brushing, the weight of everything unspoken sitting between us like a ghost neither of us wanted to acknowledge.

I didn’t say anything right away. Because what was there to say? So I stared at him instead.

His lashes were heavy, but his eyes didn’t waver. He meant it. Or maybe he was just drunk enough to believe he did.

“Why are you doing this?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

He leaned back just slightly, finally giving me space to breathe, but his gaze stayed locked on mine. His brows knit together for a second, like he didn’t even know the answer.

“I don’t know,” he admitted, running a hand through his hair, voice thick. “I saw you, and…”

He didn’t finish the sentence.

He didn’t have to.

The silence between us felt heavier now. Like it might crack beneath our weight.

And still—still—he leaned just a little closer again, his voice wrecked and so full of something I couldn’t place:

“I didn’t know how to stop missing you.”

His words hung in the air like smoke— His hand brushed against my knee—bare skin, a soft touch, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed. And maybe he wasn’t. But I didn’t move.

Didn’t flinch.

That was all the permission he needed.

He smiled—that smile. The smug, slow one. His lips brushed my cheek before he leaned in again, his mouth skimming the edge of my jaw, just hovering there.

“God, I thought about this. So many fucking times.” His mouth found the corner of mine—My breath hitched. My hand gripped his thigh without even realizing it.

When his lips finally pressed against mine—slow, deep, hungry—it was all over. By the time Wooyoung stumbled back outside, balancing two cups in one hand and a bottle under his arm, the patio was emptier than he left it. He blinked, looking around with furrowed brows, scanning for you, for San.

You were gone.

Both of you. The couch was still warm. Your cup still sweating on the table. But you? Disappeared. Like a ghost he couldn’t chase.

He squinted at his phone, swiping open his messages and firing off a quick text:

WOOYOUNG:

bro where tf did u go. y/n was just here

He waited. Two seconds. Ten. Fifteen. The bass-heavy beat of the party barely reached him anymore.

And then—

ding.

One photo. No text. No explanation. Just a single picture.

His eyes widened the second he opened it.

It was you and San. Cramped in the front seat of his car, the dim overhead light glowing faintly above you. Your legs were draped across his lap like it was the most natural thing in the world. He already knew what kind of chaos he was about to start.

WOOYOUNG:

oh my fcking god.

you’re disgusting.

never inviting you again.

[xnixnbvg]

Ah, trying your sob story on a new account, huh? Cute. Then everyone who decides to follow this blog should be told the real reason you're inevitably ostracized out of every fandom. You have for YEARS consistently engaged in content that romanticizes sexual assault and child sexual exploitation. And don't say "Oh, that was years ago, you're dragging up the past!" You JUST reblogged a post on your old blog two weeks ago fetishizing nonconsensual impregnation with one party begging the other to stop, which you have been told repeatedly is r*pe. And that would be bad enough if you didn't constantly push people's boundaries about this stuff, which clearly you've recently done yet again. Mental illness may explain why you are the way you are, but it doesn't excuse your disgusting actions. You are still responsible for what you do. I know this message won't change anything. You haven't learned from the past decade, you haven't learned now, and at this point I doubt you have any real interest in learning in the future. You're just going to sit there, make your excuses, and hope people look the other way while you drag yet another fandom through the mud.

I dont know who you are. I don't remember doing that. I shouldn't have to respond to that but the past shit I did was when I was kid. If you have to make up shit in order to make me look bad then you did. So let's begin under the cut schizo posting because this is shit I still have to talk about despite it being almost a decade old.

I make a lot of mistakes, yes but people constantly think it's because I'm someone who actually is a creep. The fandom had accused a 15-16 year old of blatantly false stuff over some stupid crack roleplay.

I don't rly think before I reblog shit. It's funny because the romanticizing stuff that people have tried to call me out on for years now I've came to terms with on being a victim of the same crap.

I was harassed by grown adults btb which didn't make the situation better. Harassing a child over shit like that didn't really work. I don't engage in content like that, if you have proof that I did reblog something and not shit I did when I was a minor or pulled from Star and Pinko then provide it. Chances are it might've been me not really looking on what i reblog (I accidentally reblogged something that I didn't stand by.)

But you mention my mental illness. Yes. Its true but half the time I'm so eager to make friends that I unintentionally keep on without intention pushing boundaries (I'm that level of autistic.) it's only gotten worse due to my deteriorating health. I usually self isolate and do not interact with others because I do not want to make s mistake like that so off points for claiming I still do it (there was a post I did make feeling ashamed over doing it again because I genuinely understand my actions unlike most of you who try to wrangle me and label me.)

The nonconsent and child shit was over two adults yelling at me for writing my old ass oc being assaulted or getting assault as a child or adult. I write my own experiences I don't get sexually aroused over that shit. At the time I'd have reoccuring repressed trauma related to it (then decidedly to write and publish that shit.) but it's okay because you hold onto that part of me ss if I haven't been speaking out against romanticizing abuse and sexual assault. If you're talking about me ssying people csn do whatever. They can. I'm not searching for the shit so I don't have to worry about it.

Do you want more? I can keep going.

Transformers fandom, yes. I did made a few people uncomfortable still remember their names. But oftentimes if I push boundaries it's nor intentional. People assume I'm some sort of manaic when I'm just someone who easily forgets. That's the case for the two people I've wronged and to this day I still feel bad. I left the fandom on my own because overtime I got really tired of the community plus my friends don't really like it.

Lets bring it back to your first point. "You dont want people to know you're into things." I do actually, I've said numeous times I had done some really bad stuff that I wasn't proud of gave them information. Now when I look back at the shit I wrote I still think it's cringe. If you think I still do that crap you've been following 2022-2023 me, it doesn't erase the fsct that the people who called me out wayyyy before transformers were the pot calling the kettle black.

My main focus of that post was to describe the feelings of anxiety and fear of hurting people because I can be pushy. I don't want interactions but at the same time I do. But if you constantly have to make claim, on shit I did in the past to shame me for being a unrestricted gen z user then I don't know what you're talking about.

All this came up iw, someone who engaged in a community since they were 9, accidentally was groomed (after being abused sexually years prior) into romanticizing the shit, adults yelling at a child who didn't know better, leading said child to develop those as unhealthy kinks which led to this mess, more shaming and eventually finding out how bad the thing is.

You people don't care to understand you think me saying I'm mentally ill is an excuse which it isn't. I struggle really hard to remember everyone's discomforts. Which is why I accidentally do this. No one cares to listen to me just that they are mad at somone who can't even distinguish if someone's an actual friend or someone disguised as a predator waiting to exploit. While it's an excuse to you, it's a reality for me.

Forcing a disabled man to remember everything about some rendom someone that would probably end up not interacting again with me is a pain in rhe ass. I was also running 70s in different servers. Half of these people don't even tell me they are until they block me and make shit up about me.

For years now these people including you had willingly believed adults and people of the same age bracket as me so when you come to shit on me like I'm a gas station toilet you'll get this in response.

Most of the time the person doesn't have proof. Just like I do. So it's just two retards arguing about he said she said. In thet case I'm one giant retard.

There's not enough words to describe how I'm sorry for my oast actions but I don't really care anymore. I've been used by various people who used my naviety to force me to apologize for the most shit only to harass me again.

But yeah. Blame the guy who was groomed into thise disgusting things. "But you still engaged in them past adulthood!" Oh jeez it's not like people didn't really ask me or understand that harassing people over it especially when they're young wouldn't fix jack shit! 😀 Almost as if you guys pushed the victim bck into this and make them more tolerent of this shit. Even if you mean well you dont really help matters. Even with pre teens. If I ever advocate for those people which is likely me telling people to STOP HARASSING THEM becsuse it's a waste of time and makes it worse. It's because I don't care honestly. Pro vs Anti discourse is bullshit snd annoying so I just look at this mess from afar.

But yes. If you think that bringing up shit I did that was a decade old in order to frame me as a creep now.

Tell me, which information did you get it from? Because there's a lot of people who are this obsessed over something I can't control.

Again. Be my guest, I can give you all the actual context but then again you believe whatever poor smuck came out against me now. So my side doesn't matter. That's the internet folks. Where crazy people can accuse anyone of ANYTHING without actually understanding the person inside. I'm sorry if you felt offended or hurt but I'm not the one who has to deal with my actions 24/7 because I have a unresolved issue with walking on eggshells and feeling like a fuckup. I can't bring myself to even think correctly.

But yeah proof cunt or it didnt happen your next move.

[meadow-dusk]

I don't even know how to begin this, so I'm just gonna start writing. I owe so much of making it through the past two years to this group of humanitarian activists who happen to be talented musicians. It might be maturity, the cultural climate, or some combination of both, but I feel confident in saying that I have never felt as much solidarity with a group as I do with Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young (affectionately, CSNY 💕), musically or otherwise. That goes a long way, apparently, because hanging onto hope and shared beliefs becomes so important when it feels like everything else is crumbling away. I've gone through a lot of changes lately, but so has everybody, and that's just...the way it goes. Through grace or through chance or through something in between, we sometimes find something to cling to in order to get through it and give it meaning. I don't know what the meaning is yet, but I'm so grateful I had them around to help me learn how to ask the right questions.

When this started out, I used to marvel at them technically: I'd listen to the intricate intervals between them and follow along with my own made-up harmony line, then fall out of the chord and stumble right back in, eager to get it right the next time (sometimes I even did!). A novice, I'd pick up my guitar and try to recreate their magic in a small but meaningful way, and sometimes I'd feel it physically, growing in intimacy with the music they'd created. I'd memorize their voices and accents and mentally assign adjectives to their timbres and tones to be able to identify them more easily (that didn't take too long). I'd take them each for a solo spin and try to feel out their songwriting for what they were each "all about." I would have moments of immediate connection, lyrical epiphanies, and self-realization over and over again. At some point, it's not a coincidence.

A big factor was that, for the first time, my own political sentiments were being echoed in the music I was immersed in. Their observations on their own times resonated with mine: maybe the names and faces were different, but the issues largely the same. In the modern-day, they still stand up for their beliefs, champion their causes, and set strong examples for us (I remember Graham's Songs for Beginners and CSN's debut both displaying a "VOTE" sticker on Spotify for all of October 2020. As of this post, none of them are even on that platform anymore, of course due to their moral stances on misinformation and the responsibility of public figures & corporations for the greater good of public health). In the months that followed those initial encounters, I felt them slowly beginning to replace the standing champions of my musical soul. I all but handed it over entirely when I found out they could do the electric stuff just as well as the acoustic (a guitar/guitar "call and response" is the stuff of dreams for me 😍). I held out officially, but as month after month ticked by, the interest didn't fade, it only grew and deepened.

And now they're my favorites. I can't even call them a proper "band," because they aren't. They're a glorious mess of complicated interpersonal relationships and [in]compatible personality dynamics that yielded consistently fantastic music. They're the dysfunctional nexus of great tributary bands and interwoven offshoots. They're a supergroup of super singer-songwriters with complementary messages and means of expression. They're the inflection point for Neil, who became my companion in emotional awareness, self-discovery, and self-acceptance (a story for another day, or perhaps one I've told before 😉). They're the musical expressions of natural human desires for justice, simplicity, peace, and love.

So for the next month, I invite you all to celebrate with me the 3rd annual installment of "CSNY July," as it has been known in my heart and soul since I first opened my life up to them exactly two years ago today. I'm gonna be pretty obnoxious about it, so thanks for being with me on the journey. And thanks to David, Stephen, Graham, and Neil for starting it all and showing me that it's good to shake things up every once in a while.

[joshstambourine]

Our House

"I would adore you if you would do Our House by CSN&Y with Sam. 🥺👉🏼👈🏼" - Anonymous

I wish I could get across just how I cooed and awed about this song prompt~ its just freaking adorable ☺

Warnings: None! Just pure fluff

Word count: 1125

Sam Kiszka × Reader

Taglist: @anditsmywholeheart @babydxll

The smell of coffee drifted through the air, it was quick to make (Y/N)'s eyes flutter open, beginning to take in the bare walls of the bedroom. The mattress laid on the floor, frame or box spring. The warmth of the blankets brought a smile to (Y/N)'s lips as she snuggled into the comforter a little more. 

Glancing across the bed (Y/N) could see an empty space beside her. 'Huh…' was all she had time to think before the sound of approaching footsteps rang into her ears.

(Y/N) slowly turned over to look towards the half painted door frame. The door was wide open which gave a perfect view at the oh-so handsome shirtless man standing with two seperate mugs in his hands.

Sam's hair had been pulled into a messy bun, a few stray pieces falling free to cup his face. As soon as his eyes met (Y/N)'s he began to smile warmly, "Did I wake you up?" He lightly inquired,

(Y/N) smiled back, shaking her head slowly. "Not exactly--"

"The coffee?" He suggests making (Y/N) nod. Sam laughed under his breath as he moved to bring (Y/N) her full coffee mug. Seeing him move towards her she shuffled into a half-hearted sitting position with her hands outstretched. 

When she looked into her mug she couldn't help but smile, "You always remember how I like my coffee."

Sam raised a brow lightly, "You say that like you're surprised! It's not that difficult." He laughs, coming to sit by her feet on the mattress. He took a sip from his cup as his free hand almost immediately began to rub (Y/N)'s calf in an absent-minded way.

"You'd be shocked at how many men forget." She responds, almost immediately taking a drink herself. Like she thought, it was exactly how she liked it. (Y/N) glanced across at the window that had bright light shining through, the sunlight almost gave the moment a magical feeling to it.

"So?" Sam started lightly,

Thus caught (Y/N)'s attention bringing her to look back at him, "So… what?"

Sam glanced over at her, "It's only been a few days but… what do you think of this place?" He lightly asks.

(Y/N) and Sam had only recently bought their first home together. It had a long way to go before it was the way they wanted it, but… (Y/N) had felt one specific way about it from the very first walk through they ever took in it.

"Honestly…?" (Y/N) begins, a small smile flickering across her lips as she looked up to the ceiling. "I still think this was the right one."

"Yeah?" Sam asked, his voice soft. He only wanted the best for (Y/N), her happiness meant everything to him. Over the past few days however, he had begun to worry a little… perhaps all the work they had to put in put a damper on her joy? "You mean it?" He continues, begging for assurance.

(Y/N) looked back to him with a gaze full of love, "Of course!" She quickly says, moving to sit closer to him. "This is our house. It's our place. That's exciting in itself, but imagine what could happen here!" (Y/N) excitedly explains.

The moment she stepped through the doorway she could picture it all. The life she and Sam would have together in this beautiful home. 

How he'd sit and play guitar on the porch. How they would sit together just like this in bed… a real bed and drink their coffee together. How music would flood through the home, especially love songs. 

How their lives could change… maybe a pet or two would come through the home. Perhaps even more than just a pet… (Y/N) could already imagine their kids playing in the backyard.

It was of course very early on to think about those kinds of things but… that was a beautiful possible future. One that (Y/N) was excited to share with Sam in this big old house.

Lightly she stretched out her hand to take his hand that was gently touching her leg still. Sam glanced to her with a look of adoration, fingers tightening around her hand. "I love you." He utters out.

"I love you too, Sam." (Y/N) responds, leaning forward to give Sam a gentle kiss on the lips.

As they pulled apart, (Y/N) began to smile. Moments like this were all she had ever wanted.

Suddenly Sam's eyes widened, "Crap! The pancakes!" He quickly says, shooting to his feet.

"Pancakes??" (Y/N) quickly replied with a look of confusion.

"I was making you breakfast---" Sam tells her, scrambling out the door and down the steps. He left her to sit with a soft amused smile, (Y/N) would never be able to get over how sweet Sam was.

(Y/N) eventually made her way down the steps herself, coffee mug still clutched in hand. Every step creaked, and the smell of the main floor was still a touch foreign. Soon enough she was in the kitchen, soft music playing from Sam's phone while he danced a little watching the pancakes on the stove.

(Y/N) looked around a little, it was clear he had spent the morning digging around through the boxes to find the spatula and measuring cups. The idea made her smile a touch more.

He was a vision from some sort of romantic drama; especially when the sunlight began to shine through one of the side windows. She rested her mug on the counter before making her way behind him, arms wrapping around his waist in a loving way and nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

"Oh!" Sam quickly uttered, placing a hand gently on her head. "You didn't have to come down, I was going to bring breakfast up." He tells her.

(Y/N) simply placed a soft kiss on his neck, "That's okay, I'd rather be down here with you." She tells him, only really having it dawn on her now.

This was just how life was going to be from now; sure troubles may arise and disrupt this kind of peace but… she knew Sam would be there waiting to help her through those times. It was going to be the two of them taking on the world together from now on. This was the start of something bigger than she could have imagined…

The start of a beautiful life in

'Our House.' She thought dreamily, only being brought out of it when Sam poked a batter covered finger onto her nose. "Sam!" She exclaimed, causing riotous laughter to echo off the walls.

//this one was so cute to write~~ I adored the idea of just starting a new with someone you love and just went with it//

[gettothedancing]

I feel like a third wheel a lot nowadays.

At work, I’m still the newbie, and while most coworkers are gracious about it, one is not. The next youngest person (a man in his early thirties from the Philippines) corrects me in front of my patients whenever I have to use him as a secondary CSN, which is frequently. He will even say what he is changing, and not ‘through’ the patient, which is a big flaw in his technique and extremely rude, even if he were the primary CSN it would not be appropriate.

This person asked me out in the first few weeks of my moving here, and I said yes, then amended it to a no after I saw how his behavior towards me changed. He invaded my personal space in the hallways (obviously on purpose because we have wide halls, I’m talking standing literally right behind me), stared at me constantly, asked me endless questions while I was trying to eat (in very broken English, so that it took 3-4 sentences to communicate 1 sentence’s worth of information), always took breaks at the same time as me, and even inserted himself into professional conversations with other staff members. In short, he freaked me out, and I’ve been avoiding eye contact and conversation with him for weeks. I did try to explain that he had made me uncomfortable, but he told me “not to overthink it” and has continued most of this behavior. I’ve talked to supervisors about it, but they said that unless he disrupts care with his behavior that I should simply keep ignoring him.

The other third-wheel feeling is coming from my sister being married. She’s been with the same guy since college, her first boyfriend, and they’re very committed to each other. Each always makes the other’s comfort their first priority. It’s very sweet and commendable. But I’ve been feeling very lonely about it. Although they live across the country, I talk to my sister throughout the day, every day, and have since I left for college.

My sister sometimes teases me about my media habits, actors I like, that sort of thing. But it’s not always easy to tell when she’s kidding, especially over text, and also because I know her pretty well and I know that she genuinely doesn’t like much of the media I do. On our last few visits with each other, she and her husband showed me some of It’s Always Sunny. I like some of the episodes, but I haven’t watched it regularly because the characters seem like such unpleasant people. I don’t have a deep connection to the show; unfortunately, it reminds me of Family Guy, which I had a brief obsession with watching but which I don’t consider about 95% of good. Her husband really likes it, and we’ve bonded over South Park and similar humor before as a trio. I hoped to watch my current favorite show (Frasier) with them, as a trade-off. We never found time to watch it with her husband, although we watched 1 or 2 episodes during our girl time. My sister didn’t seem to like it at all. \

Now, my sister has seen me go through several fandoms and phases. I have these periods of hyperfixation on media, lasting from 2 weeks to over a year, and I even rotate through old fandoms on occasion. My sister is used to hearing me overanalyse and gush about a show she’s not watching, and though she complains sometimes, she usually doesn’t mind much. But now she seems to shut me down every single time. I can’t talk about what I like at all because she just counters with a suggestion that I watch the things she and her husband are watching. (This, by the way, is something my father and stepmother do whenever I visit them. It is rare that I can convince anyone to watch something I like anymore.)

Add to this the fact that I’m continually having matches expire or reject me on my dating app, that my patients cannot hold any conversations with me, that I cannot talk to coworkers for more than 5 minutes at once as my care involves me working solo with people most of the time, and the fact that I have repeatedly failed to draw any neighbors into a conversation if I pass them on the sidewalk, and I’m really feeling like my life is all about working and living alone. I can’t even be a cat lady because my living situation (cheap and nice though it is) does not allow me to have pets, so they have to live with my dad.

So her refusal to talk with me, about this show and also much in general lately, was a last-straw situation, and I poured out a bunch of frustration, anger, and loneliness in several texts at once. I feel bad dumping all my feelings on her like that. I am trying to do that in journals and not to people, but I also need to be honest with her when she’s hurting my feelings or she’ll never realize she’s doing it. She said she was just teasing me about the show, but I never thought that was teasing. It’s not what it felt or sounded like. It legitimately hurts my feelings that no one cares to hear about anything I think or like. I just want to talk about my day and a funny joke I heard, but everyone’s too busy or tired of hearing it.

I know my sister can’t keep being my main support system: she’ll start a family someday soon, and her husband needs her support more than I do. (Well, some days maybe not more, but she’ll prioritize him over me so let’s just say it that way.) I used to rely on my dad this way, but he’s not good at pretending to care when he’s tired of talking, so I realized quickly that I couldn’t do that. So I keep trying to form new relationships and make new friends. And I keep failing over and over. It’s hard to meet new people when people are afraid of strangers to a hysterical degree right now, not to mention that I’m just not very good at making friends and never have been.

My whole life just feels Sisyphean these days. Like no matter what I do or how I improve myself, nothing will ever really change around me. I’ll keep trying to date and never get past the third outing. I’ll keep trying to make friends and find myself at arm’s length or more. Sure, I can improve my skin, lose/maintain weight and fitness, keep my house clean and my food baked fresh and my mind polished. But it doesn’t seem to matter.

It doesn’t make up for the silence. I can play videos and movies at top volume every second I’m not at work, but the night is still silent and dark, and I am still alone in it.

I didn’t prioritize career over dating. I’ve been trying to find someone since I got into college (my dad forbade me to date in high school without my sister as a chaperone, and then claimed he was ‘kidding’ when I asked him why after my senior prom). I’ve become more and more friendly and outgoing since college too. Yet I had more friends in college than I do now. This is probably because (1) all of my male friends ended up asking me out at one point, which always killed the friendship despite my attempts to revive it and (2) everyone had only two places to eat on campus so you had to be friendly to sit with someone.

My dad once told me that my relationships would improve as I got older, because I would meet people better suited to me as I specialized and found my place in the workplace. That’s what happened to him, and to an extent with my sister. Consider that they both married their college boy/girlfriends. They never lived alone in their twenties but always in a dorm or with their future spouse. They never changed career paths after college, they wait to get pets until they’ve got their first house, and they never had someone try to blacklist them from their field on false pretenses (or at all >.>). And they both put their spouse’s comfort above all else, which again is admirable and likely what I would do in their place.

But in our family, this creates Dad + Stepmom, sister + bro-in-law, and then me, the spare tire on the back of the car, a fifth wheel which is only a step above third-wheeling and not a big step above it. And I’m tired of it but I can’t change it, and all I can do is keep trying to change it and try to be grateful for the present moment because things could always, always be worse.

[lucky-peoqle]

dating steve and being dustin's sister would include...

OKAY HI THIS IS MY FIRST ONE OF THESE EVER SO IF YOU LIKED IT AND WANT MORE PLS TELL ME

season 1

you and steve aren't dating yet, y'all are kinda enimes in a way

you being friends with the party

og babysitter for them

besties with jonathan

helping to boys find will the night they find eleven

you go over to the wheelers to make sure mike gets to he's safe

you see steve trying to sneak into nancy's room

you roll your eyes

he waves and acts like he's doing nothing

you go back to the two boys with mike

people think you and jon are dating

when steve has jon's camera you run up to them telling him to knock it off

"knock it off steve, give it back."

"or what, henderson? or what?"

when he drops jon's camera you slap him across the face.

he lowkey fell in love with you a bit

you tell the party you slapped steve across the face and they treat you like a queen

walking into the allyway with jon and nance when 'nancy the slut wheeler' was written on the movie theater

"oh look, it's nancy the slut wheeler and the creepy couple."

you get all up in his face

"what. the. fuck. harrington."

you try to punch him but jon and nancy pull you back.

cheering jonathan on when him and steve fight

the night the demogorgan attack you go with jon and nance to the byers.

opening the door when steve comes over

"hey y/n, is uh, is nancy here?"

"steve, go home it's not safe."

him walking in anyway.

when the demogorgan attacks you almost get eaten but steve wacks the damn thing before it can

"thanks harrington."

"no problem henderson."

when you find out will had been found you cry. hard.

when you meet up with dustin and the party again you hug them all so tight, but dustin tighter

before steve leaves the hospital you stop him

"uh, thanks for saving my ass back there at the byers."

"yeah, don't worry about it."

y'all smile at each other

then he leaves

season 2

you and steve haven't talked since that night

but you do share glances

the first time he talked to you that year was:

billy's arms around your waist

you're uncomfortable telling him to stop

he asks you to tina's party

you say no

you asks you on a date

"hey asshole! she said leave her alone."

steve.

"whatever." billy shakes his head and leaves

"thanks harrington."

"yeah, don't wention it."

walks away lol awkward.

going as a female ghostbuster with the party!!

max instantly loves you tbh

you leave a bit early then the rest of the group

when dustin gets home he bursts into you room

"what the fuck dusty?"

"shut up i found a world changing discovery!"

shows you dart.

"wHAT THE FUCK IS THAT"

"SHHHH mom with hear you!"

"what's going on in there?"

"nothing mom!!"

when dart eats mews you cry

"it ate my cat?"

"please dont cry..."

going to the wheelers with dustin and see steve.

"hey harrington, what are you doing?"

"uh, going to apologize to nancy."

"she's not here."

"oh."

"STEVE DO YOU STILL HAVE THAT BAT?"

explains the plan to him

going back to your house in steve car.

you can see in the corner of your eye he keeps glancing at you.

when y'all are in the basement/cellar you see dart and scream when he runs at you

steve bashes his bat at it and runs over to you

"hey, are you okay?"

you laugh, "this is like the 3rd time you've saved me."

"yeah, yeah whatever. im a superhero i get it."

"shut up harrington."

"steve stop flirting with my sister."

you two went red oops

listening to steve's stupid advice on girls to dustin.

"don't listen to him dusty, his advice sucks ass."

"it doesn't!"

"if it doesn't then where is nancy right now huh? she's off somewhere with jon."

"can you shut it, no one asked you to butt into our conversation."

"yeah whatever harrington."

going to the junkyard with max, lucas and the two idiots.

max and you basically doing all the work

dusin and lucas are talking while steve is doing some of the work but he's also staring at you most of the time.

"steve please do something."

"yeah, uh, sorry."

you and steve going out to fight the demodogs.

"shit shit shit shit shit."

"sTEVE BEHIND YOU"

"HENDERSON LOOK OUT"

chaotic energy pls

going back onto the bus

"you called me steve."

"fuck off steve."

"say it again."

he loves the way you say his name awe

"steve."

he almost has a heart attack

"stop. flirting. with. my. sister."

"sorry."

going back to the byers and talking to steve.

when eleven comes back you hug her so tight

"who's that?"

steve whispered in you're ear.

it sent shivers down your spine i-

when billy comes into the house he corners you.

"hey princess, you didn't come to that date last week."

"i was busy."

"i doubt that."

"hey jackass, what did i tell you about leaving my girlfriend alone?"

steve punches billy.

you went super red omg.

"steve just called you his girlfriend.."

dustin grinning super wide.

"shut it dusty."

when max was driving you and mike were in the back with steve.

steve's head on your lap.

"dustin...?"

"no steve it's y/n."

calming him down when he freaks out about the car.

when y'all get to the weird hole thing you talk steve into going down with them.

"come on steve, we have to protect the kids."

"alright, fine."

you smile at him and he falls in love with you even more.

the kids thank you for talking him into it.

when y'all are in the hole and y'all run into dart.

"it's dart. dusty do something."

"yeah i got this."

when they escape and the demodogs come charging you and steve stand in fear.

"this is it, im going to die here."

steve grabs you hand.

the demodogs run past you and to the meat.

steve wraps you in the tightest hug and you're crying.

he kisses you on the top of your head.

getting out of the hole and talking tl him about billy

"steve you called me your girlfriend."

"yeah sorry, i just didn't want to see you get hurt."

"awe, you care about me harrington?"

"of course i do, idiot."

the night of the snowball you see dustin in the hallway walking to the front door.

"steve's here."

you and steve have gotten very close the past month.

"okay, i wanted to tell you you look good before you left."

"and did steve tell you his hair secrets?"

"maybe.." dustin chuckles.

its been about 30 minutes since steve took dustin and you hear a knock at the door.

you open it and see steve.

"hey y/n."

"hi steve."

"i was wondering if you wanted to hang out?"

"sure."

that night consisted of watching christmas movies and cuddling after a bit.

steve pauses the movie.

"what are you doing?"

"uh.. y/n i need to tell you something."

"oh okay.." you heart is pounding.

"you know what, fuck it."

you open your mouth to say something but before you can steve is kissing you.

it's soft and full of care and love.

you pull away needing air.

"i've loved you since you slapped him for breaking jonathan's camera."

you chuckle.

"i love you too steve, since you kinda saved my ass from the demogorgan."

falling asleep on the couch in each others arms.

dustin comes home and see you two and smiles.

"sTEVE WAKE UP"

both of you wake up.

"you forgot to pick me up."

season 3

you two are dating now yay!!

mom and dad of the party.

making fun of steve in his scoops ahoy uniform.

he rolls his eyes.

"you know you love it."

"yeah, you do look hot."

he loves to kiss you omg.

"steve don't kiss my sister in front of me."

does it anyway.

"what the fuck dude."

one night during the first nights of summer you and steve where having a prettt steamy make out session in your room.

his shirt was off and so was yours ;))

dustin walked in

" hey y/n csn i borrow- OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK."

you yell at him

"DUSTIN OUT NOW"

he zooms outta there.

back to making out lol

you are a year younger then steve so you're going into senior year.

steve reassuring you it's easy but ur not sure.

this boy loves to spoil you with ice cream.

when his parents aren't homd you come over and late night swim and cuddle on the roof looking at stars a lot.

he's so cheesy omg

when dustin comes back you giggle at there silly handshake.

"and hi babe."

kiss

"stEVE NO KISSING IN FRONT OF ME"

"let me love my girlfriend pls."

when you find out about suzie you get all protective.

"are you sure she's right for you?"

"i swear she is omf."

you and jon have been so busy you kinda stop hanging out but like you're too busy with the kids anyway.

best friends with robin omg.

when dustin and steve say that russian spies are in hawkins you laugh

then you hear the recording and you believe them oop

part of the scoops troop!!

when you get trapped in the elavator you cry.

"please don't cry babe, we're gonna be okay."

steve hugs u tight.

getting separated from steve and robin and you cry again.

"if he gets hurt i swear to god ill blow this place up."

"jesus calm down henderson."

you smile at dustin and wipe your tears.

after you got out of the vents for what felt like hours you find what looks to be a giant red block you can ride in.

"hell yeah!"

"dustin there's no key."

"shiiit."

finding a key and sitting in the back of the car thing with the deadly weapon.

"okay ready?"

"yep."

running and zapping the commies with the thing and erica is too.

after getting into the room you run up to steve and gasp.

"hi baby."

"oh hey y/n..." steve slurs.

you look at his swollen shut eye.

"jesus you're beat."

dustin getting them out and you help steve out of them room while erica and dustin help robin.

sitting in the back with robin and steve.

steve keeps putting his hand on your thigh and you hit it off.

"steve, i love you bur stop."

he stops.

getting back into the elavator and sigh at robin and steve.

steve falls of the cart and you kneel down next to him.

"he's drugged." dustin says.

"no im not dad."

you laugh.

going into the movie theaters and loosing the two idiots was no treat.

PT 2 IS OUT

[ghostofvixx]

Whirlwind |CSN|

When meeting your soulmate is important, but hating on San is important too.

Genre: fluff + bulleted au 

Words: 1.7k

Requested: @softyn  hi botch 🤪🤪 you already know what I want and why I am here but 😔😔😔 let me request an enemies to lovers for San 🤲

Warnings: maybe cursing sometime?? + mentions of alcohol + it gets cheesy lmao sorry I HOPE YOU LIKE IT BUBU I WROTE IT IN TIME RECORD BC ILY AS MUCH AS I LOVE SAN AND HIS EYES UWUWUWU.

There’s always this person in your group of friends that you don’t necessarily have to get along well with, right?

Sometimes it’s not even necessary to interact with them, some others you have to stand each other for the sake of the group.

The last one would be you and San.

but ok ok let me explain:

You met at a party since your group of friends began to get along with San’s group, AND at first, you didn’t interact with anyone but one person

Yeosang.

He approached you first, made an attempt to start a friendly conversation first, and ended up winning your heart thanks to his outgoing personality.

No, not a crush, but yes a good friend,,, right?

THEN, when the conversation was starting to get interesting A WHIRLWIND CAME THROUGH.

It was San.

He introduced himself and then sat between both of you, placing his arms around your shoulders and Yeosang’s shoulders. You don’t know how but he even managed to change the topic of the conversation.

That didn’t bother you, but he was too bubbly, too sunshine, not the calm you were used to.

And Yeosang became exactly the same when San made his appearance.

How’s someone able to change another person as much? How can you have that power?

So well, technically you don’t hate him, but it’s obvious that you don’t get along.

From there, the night went downhill, Yeosang had to leave early and said a quick goodbye with a friendly pat on your right shoulder, where San had placed his arm only half an hour ago.

Then your friend got wasted and you had to stand a LOT of drunk people pushing you, as you were only trying to make your way to the exit nicely to help your friend.

But there’s something special about that night, because when you got home,,, SURPRISE!! THERE WERE SOME INK DOTS ON YOUR RIGHT SHOULDER!!

YOU HAD MET YOUR SOULMATE CONGRATS!!!

But oh well

a lot of people had touched your right arm that night:

Your friend who got immediately discarded.

San same thing lmao

Yeosang

and ALMOST EVERYONE in the party,,,

it wasn’t going to be easy to find them.

And your life kept going normally from there

except for the fact that now you had to see San’s face almost every day,,, and you weren’t exactly glad by it.

The boy has made his attempts to get along with you

but you don’t seem receptive at all, so at some point, he gave up,,, and decided to just tease the hell out of you

and viceversa

some days things would get out of hand and you get really really mad at him,,, which doesn’t improve your relationship at all

at this point, everyone in both groups knows it’s better not to leave both of you alone unless they want you to fight

which they don’t

and then, you finally have new from your soulmate

it happened once again, at a party

a birthday party, not much alcohol

but with truth or dare

and you dummy decide to choose dare bc ooh you’re a though person

WHY DID YOU DO THAT NOW YOU HAVE TO TOUCH EVERYONE IN ORDER TO DISCOVER IN WHICH POCKET THEY’VE HID YOUR PHONE.

And with touch I mean,,, you have to give everyone at least a tiny hug in order to discover

no, we don’t touch buts in here

That night, when you take your shirt off, you see a tiny drawing of something you can’t identify in black ink, again in your right shoulder

maybe a rose??? OOf, typical

which only can mean one thing

YOUR SOULMATE IS IN ATEEZ,,,,,,,

DUDE

You go crazy from there

and your mind can’t stop thinking

but your heart beats faster when you think of Yeosang.

MAYBE IT’S HIM, THERE’S A POSSIBILITY THAT THE KINDEST MAN YOU’VE MET IS YOUR SOULMATE.

So you HAVE to spend time with him

a lot

BUT that means that you HAVE to spend time with San too,,, bruh.

“Y/n,,, why are you studying it’s break time”

“At least I study.”

“OH NO YOU DIDN’T.”

“WHAT IF I DID?”

Then the next day.

“San, don’t you think you’re being too hyper today? You’re making me cringe”

“It’s part of my nature, y/n, if you don’t like it well,,, bye!”

and the rest is just a mix of eye-rolls at what the other says, or maybe hide the other’s stuff, stealing their food…

You end up focusing more on bickering with San that you forget your actual purpose. getting to know Yeosang and then hug him, to check.

If only you had done that, you would have noticed how he was a lot on his phone, not even trying to stop you or his friend from fighting, or how his cheeks always got red at the sight of a new person coming into the cafeteria

it wouldn’t have been a surprise, nor a heartbreak when he introduced his soulmate and new couple to the rest of the group.

you were shocked, to say the least.

Your almost crush? Who you thought he was your SOULMATE? Like 100% convinced???

a heartbreak indeed.

When the bell rang you had never stood sooner,, dude your right arm even TOUCHED San’s and you didn’t say A THING.

YOU SHOULD HAVE BOTHERED AS YOU ALWAYS DO??

That’s what San thought.

but you didn’t

nor the following day

or the day after

you were just busy thinking about your stuff like,,, wtf Yeosang I feel betrayed?? Why didn’t he tell me?? He was my almost crush GOD

Then who is it??

“y/n, are you okay?”

The voice you hated the most was talking to you on your way to your class,,, with a hint of concern.

“I am, why?”

“Today I’ve told you your hair looks like an ugly toothbrush like four times and you’ve said nothing at all”

you didn’t?

WHY DIDN’T YOU THAT BRAT AH ISTG.

“It’s fine, don’t worry.”

“You seem off since Yeosang has gotten himself a couple, does that have anything to do?”

this time you’re the one concerned, is he okay? Why is he walking to you as friends? AND HOW DOES HE KNOW?

“Don’t worry, I’m cancer, we’re great listeners, I won’t tell I promise…”

that made you laugh.

“…Besides, I miss my friend too.”

“I thought he was my soulmate.”

His mouth went ‘o’ and that was enough to make you laugh again,,, he’s just very expressive, you know.

And his words,,, he misses his friend,,, Yes, y’all don’t see Yeosang as much.

“He’ll come back, you’ll have your friend back, I’m sure, he’s just whipped right now, he’ll get through it,,, I’ll just keep looking for my soulmate I guess,,, but I really wanted it to be him.”

San, looking at you sympathetically, gave you a hug that lasted enough to make you come out of the shock and hug him back.

your heart was about to explode, but then maybe you were just ashamed, right?

He’s your enemy after all.

it just felt,,, special.

That night, when you took a shower, something black was covering almost your entire shoulder

a black-inked crab was the shape of it, not a rose.

who had touched you that day?

you’ve made special care not to be touched by anyone until you find out who your soulmate is

except but,,,

OH MY GOD

This can’t be, right?

But then again, he said his zodiac sign was cancer

cancers are represented by a crab, right?

GOD YOU WERE SO DUMB

BOTH OF YOU

WHAT WERE YOU GOING TO DO NOW??

You, still surprised and not thinking straight, decided to text San.

“YOU STUPID”

“Oh no, now we’re going to insult each other through text? I’m not in the mood now y/n pls.”

“I’M NOT IN THE MOOD EITHER I’VE DISCOVERED I HAVE A CRAB ON MY ARM”

“a crab??”

“TATTOOED YOU IDIOT”

“oh,,, and?”

“The only person I’ve touched today was you dumbass.”

“,,,, brb I’m omw.”

It took San 10 long minutes to get to your apartment.

“C-can I see it?”

In another circumstance, you would have SLAPPED his face, but this time, you decided to let it be and lowered the sleeve of your shirt to show him.

He looked at it in awe and then looked at you in the same way.

Words aren’t necessary when you have San’s eyes

they’re,,, intimidating, fun, sweet, sometimes dark, and expressive,,, a whirlwind

everything that San is

even if you hate(d) him, you had to admit that San’s eyes are just impossible to hold the stare.

He’s powerful only in that way.

“I wanted to call your attention.” He said. “I just didn’t know fate was by my side.”

“W-what?”

“You caught my attention, that day. Then you hated me, and I hated you, but not in the same way. I mean, I really tried to hate you but then there’s everything that is actually nice about you from what I’ve seen, and then this gut feeling that you could actually be my soulmate,,, I wanted to call your attention.”

“Did you have to be that extreme?”

“You gave me no other choice, you hated me right away.”

“I didn’t hate you,,, I was just,,, bothered,,, blinded,,, I don’t know, I know nothing now.”

“Take your time, figure it out, you can’t hate me and love me on the following day.”

San’s matured side left you shooketh

you loved that part of him

and his eyes, once again

because now they were like shouting “I adore you, and we never lie.”

San stopped staring into your eyes, giving up first for the first time ever, but you didn’t want him to.

“Before you go, I need to check something.”

you don’t know where you found the courage or the need to do so, but you’ve been told so many times that kissing your soulmate is when the pieces finally click, the magic moment you’ll never experience again with any other person.

They were right.

San’s lips taste sweet, and they taste even sweeter when they’re kissing you back, and here, and there, all-around your face, your neck,,,

You’re now confused about being confused.

Would it be normal if you just like him now? After all this time getting REALLY ANNOYED by him?

But how can you not when it feels like you’ve found everything you’ve been looking for?

“Stop thinking, I can hear your thoughts from here.” He comments. “Don’t worry, the world doesn’t end today, we still have some time to figure it out tomorrow.”

And he’s right, you’ll figure it out.

But not now that he’s kissing you again 

and that you can see the warm light in his left shoulder even with his shirt on.

So, that’s what meeting your soulmate like,,, like a whirlwind,,,

Like meeting San.

[countrymusicandcher]

10 songs with critic that applies, now and then

10 songs discussing capitalism, racism, climate change, politics, lgbtq+ and history. All provided with quotes & year of release. The oldest song is from 1961, the youngest from May 2020. All 10 reflects sentiments, thoughts & feelings relevant to the issues of today. Most are applicable world-wide - there is a skewedness towards being America-centric because...well, people have had to write a lot of angry songs about you guys.

1. Ballad of Accounting - Ewan McColl & Peggy Seeger (1968)

"Did you stand there in the traces and let 'em feed you lies?

Did you trail along behind them wearing blinkers on your eyes?

Did you kiss the foot that kicked you, did you thank them for

Their scorn?

Did you ask for their forgiveness for the act of being born?"

2. Wasteland of the free - Iris DeMent (1996)

"We got CEO's making two hundred times the workers' pay

But they'll fight like hell against raising the minimum wage

And If you don't like it, mister, they'll ship your job

To some third-world country 'cross the sea

And it feels like I am living in the wasteland of the free"

3. The Peete Seeger Song - Karen James (1961)

"Left-wing they tell me smack of Socialism

And socialism they tell me is the same as communism

And any "ism" is un-American"

4. The Crooked Cross - Peggy Seeger (1960)

"They are free (they are free)

Nazi soldiers (they are free)

Nazi statesman (they are free)

In Germany (they are free)

Free to work among us still

Free to poison, lie and kill

Free to finish Hitler’s plans

Stop them now, while you can."

5. It's a hard life wherever you go - Nanci Griffith (1989)

"A cafeteria line in Chicago

The fat man in front of me

Is calling black people trash to his children

He's the only trash here I see

And I'm thinking this man wears a white hood

In the night when his children should sleep

But, they slip to their window and they see him

And they think that white hood's all they need"

6. Pride - Grace Petrie (2016)

"Well we're a long way from the Stonewall Inn

I'm standing on this platform, no one's stopping me to sing

But there's a multitude of sins

can hide behind your hashtag

Tell me again how love wins

Well there's nothing new about this rage

It's a war that's always waged"

7. Shut it down - Neil Young (2019)

Have to shut the whole system down

All around the planet

There's a blindness that just can't see

Have to shut the whole system down

They're all wearing climate change

As cool as they can be

8. Ohio - CSN&Y (1970)

Gotta get down to it

Soldiers are gunning us down

Should have been done long ago

What if you knew her and

Found her dead on the ground?

How can you run when you know?

9. Spotlight on Christmas - Rufus Wainwright (2005)

Don't forget Jesus Mary and Joseph

Once were a family, poor but rich in hope, yeah

Don't forget Jesus Mary and Joseph

Running from the law King Herod hath imposeth

And they were each one quite odd

A mench, a virgin, and a god but

Don't forget that what kept them afloat

Floatin' through the desert doesn't take a boat

Don't forget that what kept them above

Is unconditional love 

10. Unnamed (The Donald Trump Song) - Peggy Seeger (2020)

(This song is unrecorded and thus unnamed, but was performed by Peggy during one of her quarantine Live streams in May of this year)

What Donald doesn't want

Is getting buddy buddy with every friggin' country

That is muslim, or just down on it's luck

If anyone gets in his way he'll tell them all to

F - unny how we thought that he was going to loose?

But now he's in the white house, it's clear he's going to

Screw the people, screw the climate, screw the Earth and then

Make the world a safer place for Yankee business men

Lastly, I want to recommend the Antiwar Songs.org. It is a community built online archive for Anti-war songs from all over the world. It went online on 2003. 03. 20, the day the US launched it's attack on Iraque. Many of the songs from this post can be found there.

[spacegayparty]

Top 10 fictional characters

Idk what the criteria is but sjdjdjd YOU GOT ME... This will be fun

1. Luna from Lunar Silver Star Stories

because nostalgia. I was like, in elementary school and didn't understand English and I hated that a lot :< but she had blue hair and could sing and dominate the world kinda so that was cool (guess why I got blue hair first lol)

2. okay but,, Matt from Digimon??

The name is radical. Digimon makes me instantly cry when it hear the intro (I tested it on a con lol) bc nostalgia. And that guy cared so much for his bro and even later tried his hardest to keep his shit together and FUCKING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT OKAY!! he was a caring baby and threw hands when someone did bs. A bit too much hot head but,,, development man.

3. Rapunzel from Tangled?

.... She smacks people w a frying pan and I had my bday going to the film theatre for Tangled and it was basically the only film I didn't hate

4. Mulan.

Feminism!! also the guy was 100k gay for her when he thought she was a guy and sjsjdj. The sass and the resolute "fuck society and lets help people who need it" attitude... I mean?? How can't you! I love her. Also she kicked ass and saved a country based on being late and standing up for her dad in desperation of not knowing what to do in life and getting a chance to make a change for the better c:

5. Zuko from Avatar.

... Character development. Really. He was constantly looking for himself and hated everything because he made his self esteem depend on other people's views on him until he freed himself and learned to forgive and love and then he was fulfilled and didn't need romance or shit. He was okay in making up for what he did and that was awesome. He had the guts to endure rejection and pain for all the mistakes he had made. And even before he did show compassion and love, just in his own ways. A truly amazing character.

6. Ahhhh Virgil obv.

I'm just biased on that one bc.. Punk aesthetics. The guy is a walking ace flag. And he gave me the emancipation to love purple (that sounds stupid. My step dad made me hate purple by associating it to my dysphoria and several sexist stereotypes that made me hate myself for liking the colour. And now I'm wearing purple at this moment, my phone having a purple colour theme and even my nail polish being pastel purple in shimmering. Not to talk to about my hair lol)

7 Okay but Mat from DDADDS

He is,,,,,,,, baby,,,,

He has anxiety and trouble and problems but he moves on, he tries. He is relatable in being kindhearted and trying to express his passions just as he is. He never dreamed bigger than he needed to be because he was content in himself and open for finding his way to himself again because he's allowed to love even without others. And that beautiful. He's such a loving and supportive character and hhhh the dreadlocks (biased haha) and the voice and all.

(tbh I kinds love all dads in the game)

8 Dee

I'm a major deceit Stan and that's mostly because he stirs up philosophical and moral questions. He challenges views like Virgil did when he first appeared and made the "light sides" explain themselves and their legimitisation to be and be 'right'.

Also he is a classy fucker and I'm so s so gay for him. I can't get enough and watched SVS like 25 times not even joking.

9 Remus

.... Okay so he was the first character I could ever really relate to. He was weird, weird on purpose but alps not on purpose and that was my childhood struggle as genderfluid pan-poly ADHD deity. I wanted to be different bc of my ADHD because I just NEEDED to do and such (also I was big neglected) until I realised that.. I was just different because I was me and I didn't have to weird out people's on purpose

I take pride in who I am . It's easier now, with less hyperactivity. Because I am more confidently and truly myself and not some overloaded idiot who can't shut up (I still can't shut up but have stimming now). Remus is just.. Odd and I love that. He isn't supposed to be low here but idk how to make out who's the most important tbh.

... Also he makes jokes all the time and I csn relate

10 chara from undertale.

Not saying a thing and still changing a world form total genocide and rigorous murder and rules to love and acceptance. Just by making a compliment, relating to others and never being weided out by bones and frogs and other creatures.

(also an nb icon I mean,,)

Characters I'd like to mention :

Todd (bojack horseman), Remy and Emile from the ts universe (great soft therapist and sassy bitch I mean,,), Toph and the moon goddess from Avatar (I mena the real one bc........ I'm a huge gay okay,. Also she did awesome things and Toph is just fucking empowerment and self esteem. Never give, no matter what!). Garnet and Lapis from Steven Universe,,, and so so many more like Hilda from Hilda and Ivy from Digimon World 2003 who just fucked over gender roles bc she took a name for liking it and not any gender linked to it.. Heidi from Heidi lol bc positivity. I just.. I also forgot many many others like Cowley from Good Omens and Kevin and his Mom from Supernatural. And Castiel obv. And Vld Keith and Shiro and hhhhh so many many more

So so many characters. Fuck real people I don't understand their faces anyway bc I'm like super blind

[lionpatriot13]

With the whole "Vic controversy" and everyone throwing shade at him, left and right. I can't be feel very pissed.

Not at Vic, I have never personally know the guy, but at the people and celeberties that are deciding to throw him under the bus for those who are affiliated with him. And the reason for it was the timing. The timing of it all is what really irked me after the release in Dragonball Super: Broly movie in America and in Europe. Why wasn't this mention at all before the movie came out or years before if the accusations were true? This is why I hate people in general and why (in my opinion) we're all hypocrites. Including me.

Vic denies the claims and there are a few who are defending him, with one of the fangirl of Vic's told that the picture of Vic kissing her forehead WASN'T A SEXUAL ASSAULT. She asked him if he could give her a peck on the forehead with both her mom and Vic's consent. Of which they both said yes.

Vic even stated he has some LGBT friends and he's an Evangelical Christian, mind you, and for people at both con employees and celeberties like Tara Strong, talking down at him, wishes that it comes biting them in the ass in the near future.

I can understand that celeberties can do that, but if it's never mentioned over the years and ONLY did someone decide to say, with no physical proof. You are destroying a man's career.

We sadly live in a world where the innocents are condemned for something they never did or something that had really shouldn't be a big deal, and people who have been friends for so long can push you under the bus just to save their skins. Not only that, but those who were guilty are now being coddle with a slap on the wrist, gets away Scott-free.

Friendship is like a glass cannon; while it is strong and csn last a lifetime, but it can easily be destroyed with one swift strike and it's shattered to a million pieces with no way of repairing it. While you can argue that you mend a new kind of friendship, it doesn't change the fact that it can still be destroy the same way.

The whole "guilty till proven innocent" should be condemned and look down on, at both in court and in life. And those who support the idea, it's no wonder why you have more enemies than friends.

Because of this, I stand beside Vic and will defend him till the very end.

[thelikesoffinn]

I'm so sorry, but I'm going to rant now. And not about Billy, because I've talked about him in my other rant already. The boy needs a loving hug and that's that.

But This, you guys. This.

I mean, everyone knows that Steve was a bitch before and they say as much (while simultaneously ignoring all his efforts to change - different topic though.).

But especially Nancy is severely overlooked in the shit she does. And it vexes me how people keep labeling her as this kind little lamb, because she's not.

Just look at how she treated Barb. The minute Nancy grappled some popularity, she was very happy to drag barb into things she didn't want to do - only to leave her behind the moment barb wasn't cool enough to hang around with.

How she treated Steve - I mean, blaming him for killing barb with her? As if he didn't feel shitty enough? Shaming him for trying to act like everything was well - because people csn clearly decide how they cope, right? And then constantly looking down on him? Seriously, she treats him like he's an idiot. But she was very happy to play with his feelings. The boy was infatuated with her, and she basically used him.

How she repeatedly treats Jonathan - like his goals are not as important as hers. Like the ideals and things Jonathan believes are wrong as soon as they don't match her own. Just remember the fight scene in season three. "The Oliver Twist Routine". She didn't even try to see his point, she just shut down and sulked.

How she treated Robin. Like she was a thorn in her side, with contempt and disregard until Robin clearly showed she wasn't a "threat". How she shut down all contributions Robin made and didn't even listen to her, because Robin simply wasn't worth her time.

And then, has she ever investigated anything for any other reason then her own interests or curiousity? I mean, sure. She went looking for Barb, let's give her that. In season 2 it all started with her wanting some sort of justice or revenge and she dragged Jonathan along with her. In season 3 she very clearly just wanted a scoop to prove her worth at her internship, dragging Jonathan along once mofe. In season four she ran around for a scoop once more - this time dragging Fred with her because Jonathan wasn't around.

And, compared to characters like Billy, Steve and Jonathan, we don't see as much development in her character either. Sure, she went from prim and proper to mercilessly shooting stuff, but that's basically where it stopped for her. And yet she has the gall and the gumption to stand there in season 4, talking about how "Steve grew up". Yeah he did but you clearly did not. And I swear, I will drop this show the millisecond stancy becomes a thing again. She doesn't get to use to boy while he pretends to be shit and come back around once he's changed. Just no.

Really, for Nancy, everything is about Nancy first. Her dreams, her wants, her ideals and her emotions are worth more than anyone and she bitches at everyone who stands in her way.

But yeah sure, Billy is the bad guy, the abuser. Keep blaming the guy for everything wrong in the show because he used his fists and empty threats to talk instead of emotions and manipulation 👌 That's how the smart kids do it. Nancy's way isn't illegal, so clearly better 🤙

Nah honestly pets, fuck Nancy. I cannot explain how much I detested her for all four seasons now.

When people compare Billy to Neil and/or suggest that Billy systematically abused Max, they should keep the following in mind:

Max can swear at Billy. Max can glare at him. Max can tell him to go away. Max can flip him off. Max can shout at him. Billy will not beat her for it.

As is common for siblings who hate each other.

Billy can't do any of those things to his father without being beaten. He can't talk back at all without being threatened with abuse.

Billy and Max have a toxic sibling relationship that is the direct result of Neil's abuse and Susan's neglect. They take that out on each other, sure.

Any violence and erratic behavior he displays around Max is reactive to Neil's abuse and the move. After a tipping point we never see it from him again.

There's no indication that Neil has ever stopped abusing Billy. There is indication that Billy hasn't bothered Max since the Byer house incident.

While some of Billy's actions were categorically abusive, that is not systematic abuse. It is reactive violence that ultimately stops.

People say/do categorically abusive things all the time including characters you love within the show without being labeled as abusers.

Hopper was abusive. Steve was abusive. Nancy was abusive. And so on. I do not go around calling them abusers, though, because it doesn't make sense.

You can talk about abusive actions without labeling someone an abuser, because too many of you use that word to shut down conversations on abuse.

As someone who has dealt with a predictable pattern of abuse for years that has never ended, it really is not helpful.

Stop calling a 17/18 year old actively surviving his abuser a child abuser when that word holds a weight you're unwilling to bear in your arguments.

If you're unwilling to discuss the nuance in their situation and what it means to be systematically abused, then don't use that word so freely.

[myheartbeatskids]

Her husband didn't just come to tell me...

I already knew. She came in talking about how they could kill her, whispering and all.

So after she left and i could feel her spirit the whole time and i heard what should have sounded like a thud sound like a boom and heard a vehicle irking his tires down all too loud. I jumped up to see 2 cars speed down, one was the maintenance man's weekend car.

I was taking calls for the boarder hotel to wake men out of bed to go to work.

And some guys came in on the taxi and was all "man what was that about"

I asked the first one to look at me and say yes to take my SUV down and check on her.

Bill said yes. I kept repeating myself until he asked the obvious, which car was mine.

"White Bronco, right there. Just look out the window, behind you"

So two of them went, luckily and they parked sideways in the street, blocking traffic. And it was good because they came back and my SUV stopped them. They had parked sideways to see with my headlights and be able, to get her up.

Then they called the ambulance from the boarding hotel.

....

Matt gets mad at me because he says i can't save them all.

Once again. I didn't save her. I stayed at work doing my paid job.

They went up and helped her. She had rolled into a sort of ditch. Which is why they needed the lights cause I explained thst dhe wore brown,,same color as,the dirt and to look real hard.

I don't think whoever ran her over was going back again but going to get lost in the mesa, probably going home,after the maintenance man lost him.

Anyone using a car on a woman is a coward. Considering who I know who is involved, its true. So I am,sure they were going,to hide

But because they were actively carrying her when they went around my white bronco II, it saved them all.

The maintenance man saw so she would have been,saved without me

And truth be told, she only got,ran over because of,me.

Not,that it,was my fault., but she wouldn't had been,there had I not,worked there. Had it not been such a beautiful place,to,see,the sunrise.

Matt gets mad and says i can't save,them all. Well,i am,going,,to,keep,causing these types,of,situations.

So he can stand in my way all he wants to.

But he isnt going to stay in my way.

So I told him. We will never get along. We don't see the same. So we may as well be done now.

Because I am not going to,change. I am,going,to,get angrier,and more powerful. And nothing less.

Who i am is who I am. I was born to a,sociopathic psychopath. And a goody,two,shoes dad whom likes to recycle.

Matt's mom was a goody two shoes whom likes to,recycle. And so,was,his dad.

So there is no way i can be like him or he csn be like,me.

And alot of the time, i don't like him. Because he does not want me,to b3 me

He wants me,to,be some,fantasy he can control.

That's just not me. That isn't who i am. And not who i can be.

Eli’s twin said he had wished I would see his mom today. He is one of the twins that were claimed as dead. But he isn’t.

I thought they ran her over because she was black. Which i really didn’t understand cause she would wrap herself with scarves, sunglasses, hats, gloves. She looked like a little kid in a snow suit.all stuffed in, cute as hell. Sometimes I wondered if she could walk with all those layers.

Her husband brought her to see me after she got out of the hospital. I couldn’t even walk all the way to the couches. I just fell to my knees and crawled and I took her hand and cried and cried and cried. And we prayed.

My phone kept ringing off the hook to get guys up and to work. They were all what we kept calling!!!

So I went Back To Work AND SHE Went home. Alive.

[sunshineweb]

Latticework of Mental Models: Lollapalooza Effect

Value Investing Workshop in Bangalore (9th Sept), Chennai (23rd Sept), Mumbai (30th Sept). Click here to register now. Few seats remain!

Why were Warren Buffett and his creation, Berkshire Hathaway, so unusually successful?

In 2007 Wesco Annual Meeting, someone asked the above question from Charlie Munger. He replied –

If that success in investment isn’t the best in the history of the investment world, it’s certainly in the top five. It’s a lollapalooza.

Lollapalooza in the conventional sense means something outstanding of its kind. A person, a thing or an event that is particularly impressive, or extraordinarily attractive. But being multidisciplinary learners, we shouldn’t be satisfied with the conventional definitions, should we? Moreover, Charlie Munger doesn’t use lollapalooza just for its dictionary meaning.

Here’s the definition of Lollapalooza taken from the book Poor Charlie’s Almanack –

Lollapalooza is, as personified by Charles Munger, the critical mass obtained via a combination of concentration, curiosity, perseverance, and self-criticism, applied through a prism of multidisciplinary mental models.

When Charlie Munger uses the word lollapalooza, he often attaches the word “effects” (as in “lollapalooza effects”) which means that multiple factors are acting together in ways that are feeding back on each other.

In simple words, lollapalooza effect is an outcome which is far bigger than the sum of the parts. Using this mental construct of lollapalooza, one can explain the cause-effect relationship behind extreme events in the world. Not only explain, but Lollapalooza helps us understand the workings of this complex world so that we can leverage that for our own benefit.

In 2017 Daily Journal (DJCO) annual meeting, Munger said –

I coined it when I realized I didn’t know psychology. I bought three comprehensive psychology textbooks and read through them, and like usual I thought they were doing it all wrong, and I could do it better. When three or four tendencies were operating at once in same situation, the outcome wasn’t linear, it was straight up. The scholars were ignoring the most important thing in profession, because they couldn’t do experiments with so many variable operating together, and then they didn’t synthesize it with other disciplines, because they didn’t know squat about other disciplines. I am lonely, but I am right.

Lollapalooza is a great problem-solving tool. When you learn the important mental models and start applying them for problem-solving, you will realize that multiple models seem to converge in one direction and together they form the critical mass for a cascading of positive effects – a lollapalooza. It simplifies your decision making tremendously.

According to Munger, a majority of the worldly problems would be no-brainers if you look at them through the lens of lollapalooza.

To wrap our head around Munger’s idea of lollapalooza effect, let’s explore two cases studies which exemplify this concept.

Tupperware parties and open outcry auctions.

These examples highlight the situations where human irrationality, under the spell of Lollapalooza, becomes an uncontrolled freight train ripping apart every decision on its way.

Lollapalooza and Tupperware Parties A Tupperware party, according to Munger, is the best example of Lollapalooza effect because multiple psychological biases work in the same direction and push people towards irrational decisions.

Famous psychologist Robert Cialdini, in his book Influence, has written extensively about how the structure of Tupperware parties is designed to exploit many of the human biases.

A Tupperware party takes advantage of four weapons of influence, i.e., reciprocity, liking bias, social proof, and confirmation bias.

Here’s a crash course on these biases.

Reciprocity is the deep-seated urge to return a favour. When someone does something nice for you, it sows the seed to reciprocate. This feeling of obligation to repay is what’s known as reciprocation bias. Even if we didn’t need the initial favour in the first place, it’s hard to get rid of the feeling that you have to return the favour in some form. This urge to reciprocate may lead us to do things which we wouldn’t have done otherwise.

Liking bias explains why people prefer to do business with people they like rather than people they don’t like. And who do we like? Those who are similar to us, who cooperate with us, who makes us feel special. Especially our friends and neighbours. We find it hard to refuse a request that comes from such people.

Social proof is a way to deal with uncertainty. When we’re in doubt we often make decisions by imitating what others are doing. Humans find great comfort in social validation. Following others usually serves well under normal circumstances but social proof can lead us astray when making crucial decisions.

Commitment and consistency bias is when we resist changing our views even if we’re wrong. Once we’ve taken a stand on something, it’s cognitively tough to change it even when we’re shown evidence that counters our original beliefs. The more we affirm our past decisions the stronger we believe in them.

Back to Tupperware party.

The invite for the Tupperware party comes from someone you like — a friend, a colleague, a neighbour or a relative. Liking bias at play. The party then starts with a game where everyone is allowed to win a prize. Winning “prizes” invokes the force of reciprocation. You want to pay back those who gave you the free items. Then old customers are asked to share the benefits of the Tupperware products. This unleashes the commitment bias. Then you see other people at the party buying items and that triggers the social validation — since other similar people want the product; it must be good. Social proof bias at work.

Combine these effects, and it’s not hard to see why many people try to avoid going to a Tupperware party in the first place, because they know that once they are there, they will buy something.

Lollapalooza and Auctions In 2007 Tata Steel acquired Corus group – an Anglo-Dutch steel major. The acquisition happened through a competitive open-outcry auction. Tata Steel submitted a proposal with an initial bid of 455 pence a share. Soon CSN a Brazilian competitor chimed in with an offer of 475 pence. In response, Tatas upped the bid to 500 pence a share. Then CSN raised the bid to 515 pence. After a long drawn bidding war, Tata group eventually won with a bid of 608 pence a share. That was 34 percent higher than Tata’s original proposal. The total payment was $12.1 billion (Rs. 53,580 crores at the then exchange rate) of which $6 billion was debt. At that time Tata Steel’s market cap was less than Rs. 30,000 cr.

By 2014, Tata Steel’s debt had ballooned to more than $13 billion. They never recovered from this mistake.

Social psychology experiments show that bidders in auctions often get carried away and end up bidding far more than the underlying value of the auctioned objects. Such outcomes are almost always the result of the combination of multiple forces working in the same direction.

In his famous lecture title Psychology of Human Misjudgment, Charlie Munger says –

…the open-outcry auction is just made to turn the brain into mush: you’ve got social proof, the other guy is bidding, you get reciprocation tendency, you get deprival super-reaction syndrome, the thing is going away… I mean it just absolutely is designed to manipulate people into idiotic behavior.

The list of cognitive biases that are at play in an auction is just mind-boggling. It starts with greed and envy but doesn’t stop there.

Commitment Bias: Every bid and its escalation is a public commitment. It reinforces and justifies the bidder’s belief that his bid price is right.

Social Proof: You’re in close contact with other people who are all providing social validation that the sale item is valuable.

Low Contrast Effect: Every successive bid is only a tiny increment over the previous one.

Loss Aversion: As the auctioneer starts the countdown on the competitive bid it intensifies the feeling that you’re being deprived of something which was almost yours.

Authority Bias: The auctioneer is seen as a symbol of authority because he certifies the authenticity of the auctioned object. He also announces an initial bidding price which serves as an “anchor.”

Incentive Bias: The incentives of the auctioneer are directly attached to the final price. Higher the winning-price more the commission for the auctioneer.

Scarcity Bias: Auction items are scarce because only one person can have it, and after the bids are finished, you’ve lost your chance.

Do you see what happens to people who get into open-outcry, auction-like situations? That’s why Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger have a rule when they get invited to auction situations.

The rule is: Don’t Go.

Lollapalooza and the Stock Market So how does lollapalooza play out in the stock market?

If you think about it, you will arrive at the same conclusion as I did. The stock market is either one big Tupperware party or a giant auction room or both.

The environment in which a typical stock market investor operates today is the breeding ground for many psychological biases — all acting in the same direction. And when forces act in the same direction, as we’ve learnt from Munger, it’s an invitation to lollapalooza.

With the advent of social media, everyone has the power to shout their opinions openly. Publicly voicing your views triggers a strong commitment and consistency effect. Irrespective of how many people actually listen to you, the mere fact that you’ve spoken about a stock openly, engraves those existing beliefs deeper into your own psyche.

The same social media becomes the source of social validation too. When you see hundreds of people talking about an obscure company, it’s difficult to fight the urge to follow the herd. This effect is more pronounced during rapidly falling or rising stock prices.

The incessant noise from the TV channels, financial newspapers, WhatsApp groups and free stock tippers, aggravates the recency bias in an investor’s mind.

And then the mother of all biases – incentive bias.

“I think I’ve been in the top 5 percent of my age cohort all my life in understanding the power of incentives,” says Charlie Munger, “and all my life I’ve underestimated it. And never a year passes but I get some surprise that pushes my limit a little farther…Never ever think about something else when you should be thinking about incentives.”

The train of financial industry chugs on the rails of incentives. As a result, the incentive bias among the sellers of financial products creates a moral hazard for the small investors.

“All commissioned salesmen,” said Charlie Munger in 1988 Wesco Financial annual meeting, “have a tendency to serve the transaction instead of the truth.”

To invest in the stock market, a new investor cannot avoid contact with the so-called relationship managers of large financial institutions (banks, brokerage houses, mutual funds, etc.) This customer facing army is equipped with weapons of persuasion to be deployed against the innocent retail investors.

Unfortunately, even after knowing about the power of persuasion principles, it’s hard to resist giving in to the requests coming from these people. They are sharply dressed, they look confident, they are articulate, and sound very convincing. Can you imagine what a gullible investor, who has neither heard of Cialdini’s work nor the workings of Tupperware parties, gets sucked into?

Mr. Market – Benjamin Graham’s figment of imagination – is like the Tupperware hostess who would invite you every day to join the party. He’s also like the auctioneer who wants you to jump into the adrenaline-filled bidding war.

Remember the rule? Don’t go.

The post Latticework of Mental Models: Lollapalooza Effect appeared first on Safal Niveshak.

Latticework of Mental Models: Lollapalooza Effect published first on https://mbploans.tumblr.com/

[goldeagleprice]

Letters to the Editor (July 3, 2018)

Still thinking up theme songs for numismatics

Should numismatics have a theme song?

I’d like to nominate “When the CENTS come marching in.”

Name withheld Lombard, Ill.

  Nobel Prize medal research will lead to exhibit

I very much enjoyed your recent article on the gold Nobel Prize that was recently in an auction. It sounds like the proceeds from the sale are going for a great cause.

In a related matter, I recently purchased a silver 1926 silver Nobel Prize medal for Chemistry in the original IVA case. I am still doing some research on the medal but hope to exhibit sometime in the future.

Gary Lewis Florida

  Circulation finds include coin from Panama

Since I last wrote you, I’ve found some more interesting coin finds that I thought were worth mentioning:

I found a 2008 Panama nickel featuring Sara Sotillo, a Panamanian feminist. I also received four 2018-D pennies, a 2018-D dime, and a 2018 Apostle Islands, Wisconsin quarter.

Ari Kaufman Address withheld

  Why would anyone bother to fake a common dollar?

I recently received a counterfeit Morgan dollar from an online auction. It’s an 1879-O in VF condition. The seller appeared to be U.S. based, but the coin eventually arrived from China! It passes the magnet test but has tiny cracks in the plating that can be seen and felt. It’s also a half gram too heavy and does not have the proper ring when dropped. I’m only out 20 bucks, so I’ll just consider it a lesson learned. When I left negative feedback to warn other bidders, I noticed that the seller had several more suspect Morgans listed, and they were getting bids. It just makes me wonder why someone would bother to counterfeit a $30 coin.

Fool me once,

Name withheld Denton, Texas

  No response to suggestion for mintmarks on bullion

At last somebody has jumped on the bandwagon concerning putting mintmarks on bullion coins. I wrote the Mint, I chatted with the Mint, and I called the Mint about this. I couldn’t believe that Numismatic News had never addressed this problem before. Thank you. Thank you.

Chuck Miller Pittsburgh, Pa.

  Credit cards just one more example of progress

In the June 5, 2018, issue, a reader from Fairbanks, Alaska, laments the cashless society. He obviously owns a shop and does not like paying credit card fees to banks. My friend, you can’t stop a runaway train. Today, just about everyone has a wallet full of credit cards, not to mention Apple Pay, Paypal and other electronic payment systems. It is the way most people prefer to pay. OK, maybe not coin collectors, but most coin collectors are stuck in the last century. The fees associated with credit cards are a cost of doing business. I personally will not patronize any retailer who does not accept credit cards, although nowadays those retailers are a dying breed. I have credit cards that pay me rebates. It is not unusual for me to receive several hundred dollars a year in rebates. Why would I not want to do this?

On a related note, another earlier reader lamented automated payment systems, claiming that they are an attempt to take jobs away from people. Again, automated payment systems constitute progress. When Henry Ford started mass producing automobiles, it threw blacksmiths out of work, but I’m sure Ford did not deliberately set out to do that; it was a byproduct of the era. Paying people to do things that can be automated is a waste of time and money.

Peter Glassman Illinois

  How can book be dated 2019 when it is only 2018?

In the May 15, 2018, edition of Numismatic News, there is an article about the 2019 Coin Digest available for shipping on May 10th of this year. How can this be? Shouldn’t a person reading a 2019 edition at some point in the future be entitled to believe that the contents reflected the state of numismatics in the year 2019? If it is published so early in 2018, then the contents, and especially prices, would have to reflect early 2018 or even late 2017 in order to get it printed in time. By the same token, if I find a used copy of, say, the 2015 issue, I am entitled to believe it reflects the state of affairs in 2015.

Steve Fawthrop Radford, Va.

Editor’s note: New editions are always dated a year ahead, or few collectors would buy them. It is the same reasoning that allowed me to buy a car with next year’s model year.

  1936 cent tops reader’s latest coin finds

I received 94 cents in new uncirculated change yesterday (May 22) at lunch. Although I had six cents in my pocket, I’m a sucker for change! The 94 cents (which the teller had to open two or three rolls to give me) were as follows: three 2017-D George R. Clark quarters; one 2018-P dime, my first 2018 dime; one 2018-D nickel, my first 2018 nickel; and four 2018-D cents. I should’ve asked for a manager to see if they would have sold me some rolls.

I also found a 1936 wheat cent (+/- fine) in the work till yesterday. It’s always a nice little treat to find feral wheats not in the 1940s or 1950s!

Jay Woodin Address withheld

  Chicago Coin Club notes passing of Tillie Boosel

Below is Tillie Boosel’s obituary.

Many people knew Tillie’s husband, Harry (1912-1994). Some facts about Harry:

• Member of numerous numismatic groups, including: ANA, ANS, CSNS, FUN

• Past President of Chicago Coin Club, Washington (D.C.) Numismatic Society, Central States Numismatic Society

• Charter member of the Central States Numismatic Society

• Not sure this record still stands, but Harry was the youngest member elected to ANA governor 1937-39 (age 25)

• Harry’s collecting specialty was the Coinage Act of 1873

Recipient of numerous merit awards.

Tillie Boosel, 1922-2018, passed away April 24, 2018, at the age of 96 and was laid to rest at Westlawn Cemetery, Norridge, Ill.

Tillie joined the Chicago Coin Club in July 1950 using her maiden name Sicher, since she was engaged, but not yet married, to Harry Boosel. After their marriage and up until his death in 1994, Tillie traveled the country with Harry attending many coin shows.

Harry served in many numismatic leadership positions and received numerous awards. Tillie was always by his side and frequently served as a convention volunteer. The American Numismatic Association recognized their years of teamwork by jointly presenting them with the ANA Presidential Award at the 1994 Detroit Convention.

Tillie is survived by daughter Nanci Judge, son Wayne (Bonnie) Boosel, grandchildren Clayton and Lyndsay Judge and Wendy Boosel. She is preceded in death by her husband of 43 years, Harry; son-in-law Charlie Judge; and sisters Ann Caplan and Lillian Gizzardo.

Carl Wolf Chicago Coin Club

  This article was originally printed in Numismatic News. >> Subscribe today.

  More Collecting Resources

• More than 600 issuing locations are represented in the Standard Catalog of World Coins, 1701-1800 .

• Keep up to date on prices for Canada, United States and Mexico coinage with the 2018 North American Coins & Prices guide.

The post Letters to the Editor (July 3, 2018) appeared first on Numismatic News.

[ulyssessklein]

Over the Years – Graham Nash’s Five Decade Musical Journey

Press Release

Source: Jensen Communications

Towering above virtually everything that Graham Nash has accomplished in his long and multi-faceted career, there stands the litany of songs that he has written and introduced to the soundtrack of the past half-century.

Two-time Rock and Roll Hall of Fame inductee Nash burst on to the scene during the British Invasion with The Hollies before he formed the legendary supergroup Crosby, Stills and Nash in 1968 with David Crosby and Stephen Stills. As Nash prepares to launch a European tour in July, Rhino looks back at some of his best-known recordings from the past 50 years in a new anthology featuring more than a dozen unreleased demos and mixes.

Over The Years… features 30 tracks and will be available on June 29 as a two-CD set ($24.98) and on digital download and streaming services. A 15 track, double-LP version ($31.98) featuring an etching on “Side Four” will be released on August 31. The anthology has been painstakingly curated by Nash and longtime associate Joel Bernstein and includes extensive credits and liner notes.

“It does my heart good to present my songs this way. I hope that listeners will enjoy hearing the demos of my songs – how my demos of ‘Our House,’ ‘Teach Your Children,’ and others turned into the records that have endured ‘Over The Years,’ how I started writing them, and how they became the now familiar recordings when they were released,” said Nash.

Over The Years… highlights songs from the iconic CSN debut album (“Marrakesh Express”) and its successor album Déjà Vu, for which Neil Young joined forces with CSN (“Our House” and “Teach Your Children”) as well as songs from subsequent CSN albums (“Just A Song Before I Go” and “Wasted On The Way”).

The collection highlights songs that Nash recorded for his 1971 solo debut, Songs For Beginners, including “Military Madness” and “Simple Man,” and includes unreleased mixes for two other songs from that album: “Better Days” and “I Used To Be King.” The most recent recording on the compilation is “Myself At Last” from Nash’s 2016 solo album This Path Tonight.

Two tracks from his enduring albums with David Crosby (“Immigration Man” and “Wind On The Water”) are also included in the collection.

The CD version of Over The Years… includes 15 demo recordings, 12 of which have never been released. Standouts include the 1968 London demo of “Marrakesh Express,” rejected by the Hollies and setting the stage for Nash’s relocation to Los Angeles and the next chapter of his life. The set contains early versions of CSN classics like “Our House,” “Wasted On The Way,” “Pre-Road Downs,” and “Teach Your Children.” Other unreleased gems include: “I Miss You” and “You’ll Never Be The Same” — both from Nash’s 1974 solo album Wild Tales — and “Horses Through A Rainstorm,” originally intended for Déjà Vu.

In addition to his July UK and European tour, Nash will continue to support Over The Years… with a Fall US tour beginning in Austin, TX on September 19.

Over The Years… CD Track Listing

Disc One

“Marrakesh Express”

“Military Madness”

“Immigration Man”

“Just A Song Before I Go”

“I Used To Be King” *

“Better Days” *

“Simple Man”

“Teach Your Children”

“Lady Of The Island”

“Wind On The Water”

“Our House”

“Cathedral”

“Wasted On The Way”

“Chicago/We Can Change The World”

“Myself At Last”

* Previously unreleased mixes

Disc Two: The Demos

“Marrakesh Express” – London, 1968

“Horses Through A Rainstorm” – London, 1968

“Teach Your Children” – Hollywood, 1969

“Pre-Road Downs” – Hollywood, 1969

“Our House” – San Francisco, 1969

“Right Between The Eyes” – San Francisco, 1969 *

“Sleep Song” – San Francisco, 1969 *

“Chicago” – Hollywood, 1970 *

“Man In The Mirror” – Hollywood, 1970

“Simple Man” – Hollywood, 1970

“I Miss You” – San Francisco, 1972

“You’ll Never Be The Same” – San Francisco, 1972

“Wind On The Water” – San Francisco, 1975

“Just A Song Before I Go” – San Francisco, 1976

“Wasted On The Way” – Oahu, 1980

Previously unreleased demo versions, except *

LP Track Listing

Side One

“Marrakesh Express”

“Military Madness”

“Immigration Man”

“Just A Song Before I Go”

“I Used To Be King” *

Side Two

“Better Days” *

“Simple Man”

“Teach Your Children”

“Lady Of The Island”

“Wind On The Water”

Side Three

“Our House”

“Cathedral”

“Wasted On The Way”

“Chicago/We Can Change The World”

“Myself At Last”

* Previously unreleased mixes

[massivestack]

Killing Floor 3 Ideas

I can't seem to find a post like this so I am starting one. What would you like to see in a third game in the series? WARNING: I am lowly, console scum. I beg forgiveness my PC Masters. These are what I want to see at the next console version l, I can't talk about PC and PC has mods anyhow. I'll get us started with ten suggestions, which should serve as a good jump off point: 0) Why not let us have more fun by not being normal humans anymore. Give us powers and/or abilities based upon the idea that the zeds were evolving somehow and in order to survive we had to start genetically modifying ourselves. Each class should get maybe a couple special abilities. Maybe one of which is time regulated (ie use it and wait to recharge) and the other being a selectable passive ability. This idea serves as an explanation for some of the following ideas. 1) Improved in-game fast communication: ala Paragon (one button opens up lots of different dialogue, command and coordination options). More information [here](http://paragon.wikia.com/wiki/Team_Communication_System) Video [here](https://youtu.be/aHt8Osif7f4) This to me is the number one thing I'd like to see. I REALLY want to be able to communicate with my team even if we are t using microphones. 2) Weapon Customization: I'd like to see some way of making my weapons special. Even if they reset each match, there should be some sort of system for selecting buffs for trade offs. Sort of like perks but specifically for weapons themselves. These can be class specific as well as class neutral. Having both would be great. Not sure how this would work exactly. I would love to hear ideas. My best guess is something akin to weapon mods you earn through playing. Tripwire has to make money so something like the reward boxes that you have to buy keys to open. At the simplest, let us have a choice of starting weapons with tradeoffs for each. I'd like it so that I'm not just skinning my weapon but physically adding or removing parts from the model which provide buffs like lighter weight or more ammo or whatever. Now that I think about it, let us find random weapon mods throughout the map and we have to spend dosh to be able to equip them or remove them. Make them slot based by weapon type. Ie shotguns, pistols, Assaukt Rifles, etc. 3) Player Selectable Game Modification: I want to be able to do things like low gravity mode, vampire mode, infinite ammo, infinite enemies, etc). All those special weekly variations? Let us choose to turn them on or off at will. 4) Maneuverability System: Another thing I'd REALLY love to see is movement being changed in a zombie shooter from what it has always has been to something really fun and dynamic. Agile and active not just your standard lame ass jump. The way I envision it is starting with mechanics from Unreal Championship 2 with a basic jump, double jump, wall climb, and zipper jumps (between tight spaces). See what I mean [here](https://youtu.be/7yCLWJww0Ro) I'd also like to see as part of this some parkour like in InFamous: [here's an example](https://youtu.be/Qj4tjUszUgs) Each class could maybe have some sort of different mobility options to chose from. 5) Stamina Meter & Dashing: I think this goes without explanation. Just in case [here is an example](https://youtu.be/lySuGFnXiJU). Just maybe not so jerky or stupid fast. Just being able to push a button and dash suddenly rather than just running. Think more like a horse gait which varies and is broken into natural gaits that all horses posess and the specialized trained ones. Which leads me to and is part the next topic... 6) Enhanced Cover: Seriously why can't I run, and hide behind something while popping out from behind cover to shoot? Not just positioning but like clinging to the cover by interacting with it. With specialized feats of dashing, rolling, etc for each class these allow me to hide in uniquely different ways. 7) Environmental Interactions: If there's lava on the screen like in Zed Landing it should burn me. It should also. Urn the Zeds. Get creative with it. Rock slides, roof cave in's, moving machines you can jump/stand on or even use to kill zeds. These should serve as Quick Action Events like in Uncharted and Tomb Raider. They just add more spice and variety to the game. 8) Destructible Environment: If I shoot an RPG at a wall, the wall should not exist anymore. More of this all around. We csn destroy glass windows and walls with bullets but an rocket launcher can't destroy a wall? 9) Semi-Random Map Generation: Remember Left4Dead 2? Some parts of the maps changed every time you played. I want this again. 10. Even MORE of The Basics: More gore, more dismemberment animations, unique ragdolls per zed type, more variants of each zed type, new zed types (we evolved because they evolved, remember?)...and for the love of zeds, man, could we actually get some more bosses please? HONORABLE MENTION: -Player choosable zed skins (micro transaction DLC (only the host should need it). Lemme have clowns when I want, hillbillies, whatvever. Gimme new ones that I can earn during seasonal and special events. Again, in a crate but you have to buy a key. -Custom Characters: ie let us make ourself who we want by choosing male or female, facial features, hair, skin color, height, body shape, etc as well as choosing our own voice, speech set (presets like already but let us choose), etc. -Better and wider range of emotes: more dances, player to player insults, taunts, etc. -User Generated Maps: If InFamous 2 could do console UGC, theres no reason why we can't have it killing zeds. -more in game mini-games -more trophies