#and i was like youre the one calling the toad ugly >:^(

[mo-aiki]

The Beautiful Maiden, Who Turned into a Swan - Prologue

Summary: You were a happy princess, living in a carefree life, with your best friend in the entire world, until one day, he turned you into a swan. M. Yandere Prince x F. Reader x M. Yandere Sorcerer.

Notes: inspired by obviously, Swan Lake. And also childhood favorites, The Swan Princess and Barbie of Swan Lake.

Warning: obsessive love, erratic behavior, stalking, mentions of violence, violent behavior, I don't condone it, I just write it.

You lived your best life.

As a princess of a small, rather unknown kingdom, you were your most happiest being surrounded by those you loved.

Your father was king, your mother, although dead, had high hopes for you. Your brother was young and cheeky. Everyone respected you, calling you kind.

You woke up everyday in your bedroom, getting ready, and enjoying your days in the royal greenhouse and garden, when one day, you met a boy, around your age. You were 12 at the time you met him. "Hello, my name is (y/n). What's yours?"

He didn't talk. He looked at you like you were going to harm him, and by his body language of him scooting away from you. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you."

You gently got him to stand up, while you dusted the dirt off of his hair and clothes. "I'm (y/n). What's your name?"

The young boy mumbled. "...Roth..."

"Roth?"

The boy nodded as you smiled. "Roth. Would you play with me?"

You felt all alone when it came to the topic of playing. All your close friends were servants, who got tired once you played too hard with them. But Roth was around your age, right? So of course he would play with you!

For 5 years, you 2 were inseparable. Roth became a prodigy of a sorcerer. He was very talented. He could make bubbles into flowers, turn a toad into a beautiful swan, and was perfect in his defensive and offensive magic. So much so that if you didn't have guards around, he would assign Roth to guard you.

You spent your days, laughing and playing around with Roth, until one day, he had gotten more quiet than usual.

"Roth."

"Hm?"

"Do you think I'm pretty to you?" A question you would obviously ask your best friend in the whole wide world to.

"No, you are ugly."

You laughed. "Stop playing around. Am I really pretty?"

Roth closed his book. "Why are you asking?"

You laid your back against the blanket as you stared up at the sky. "Because father told me I am to be wed in a couple of months. After I turn 18."

Roth was a bit quieter than usual, but you didn't mind his quiet nature. You knew he at least listened. "Father said that the prince of another kingdom said I looked pretty in the portraits they sent of me. Apparently, the kingdom is run by one of father's bestet of friends..."

Roth opened his book back up. "Well then, he must have bad taste because you are ugly..."

You pouted in his face. "Goodness, don't be mean. He does not have bad taste. In fact, he's very handsome, and obviously, good-looking people must have good taste!" You laughed.

You didn't know that the comment you made would cause Roth to tightly grip his book.

On the early hours on the day of your eighteenth birthday, Your kingdom had burned to the ground. Running away throughout the chaos of the castle, you made it to the throne room, hiding behind the curtains behind your father's throne. Your father, there as well, donned in his armor. All you could smell was burnt, human ash everywhere. All you could hear was the curdling screams of people being burned alive from the many fires that donned the kingdom. All you could see was almost pitch black. Your father covered your ears as your eyes erupted in tears.

Mary, your maid who had cared for you like an older sister.

Aldus, the head butler, who was a kind old man, soon rearing the age where he would retire from his position.

Elric, the stableman who helped you ride your horse, Matilda for the first time.

Jocosa, the maid who seemed rather rude at first, but really cared for others, not wanting them to get hurt.

Emma, your tutor who was strict but kind and always loved you like a motherly figure.

And your little brother, Theo, who was so cheeky and mischievous.

All of them dead from burning from the fire. You could hear Theo's screams, calling out for you and your father, before it was too late.

Today, was meant to be a day of celebration. A day of joy. A day full of fun and splendid memories. But soon you snapped out of your daydream when both your and your father heard footsteps approaching the throne room. Stopping your tears, you held your breath. Not wanting the man who burned your kingdom to notice you or your father. "I know both of you are here."

You squeaked as lightly as possible, as your father got up. You shook your head, tears flowing out your eyes while doing so. Your father kissed your forehead as he hugged you tight. "(y/n), don't worry about me. I will be back before you know it..."

Your father walked out from behind the curtain as you could only peak through an opening. "Your Majesty."

You recognized the voice and the silhouette of the man. 'Roth?!' you thought. "Rothbart! Stop this at once!" your father had commanded.

There was only a silence between them as your father yelled once more. "STOP THIS AT ONCE ROTHBART!"

You could tell that your father was scared. His fingers looked like they were twitching, trying to unsheathed his sword from his scabbard. "I, King Fredhelm the II, will stop you from burning my kingdom down to ash!"

Your father ran with his sword, as he was burned. Before you could see it, you held your mouth shut, and closed your eyes, feeling your tear rushing out. You heard your father's screams as you shut your eyes even harder and covered your ears. The heat of the fire felt close to you, until you opened your eyes, to see ash all over the place, turning your head to see Roth take you in his hand and dragging you out of the kingdom.

You struggled at his grip, as he took you on horse and rode, far away from your home, as you watch it fall into a sea of flames, with the sounds of screaming waves, fading the further away you were.

You cried on the horse as Roth tried to soothe you. He wanted you to know why he did this.

It's because of you

Afraid of you running away he turned you into a swan against your will. "Your beautiful like a swan (y/n)...too beautiful."

The process was painful. As the sun slowly rose from the east, your skin felt like it was being forcefully shedding, like it burned and soon you turned into a swan by morning.

Roth smiled bittersweetly. "I had to do this (y/n). Your too beautiful, and as such, nobody can see you."

A swan by day, and a princess by night. Those tales only come out of legends, and soon you were a legend when men noticed you alone on the lake at night in the moonlight. They died that same night.

Roth killing them, and then hugging you, tightly.

And thus for the next 10 years, you were nothing more than a legend, and were being used by Rothbart, to fulfill his desires to be complete.

A/N: IM BACK!!! I will take a millennium to update this story due to school. Thank you!

[sweet1delusi0ns]

Naruto boys calling you ma’am ──☆*:・ﾟ

!Slightly suggestive!

Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,Itachi🥀, kakashi🍃, kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋,choji🍥,gaara⏳,kankuro🪆

Naruto🦊-*

He’s sassy so ofc he’s gunna piss you off by calling you “ma’am” making you feel old. Normally when you scold him over stupid things he refers to you as that-

“Did you think about how dangerous that is?!” “No ma’am!” “use your little head before doing something dumb!” “Yes ma’am!” “ok stop with the ma’am I feel like a teacher scolding a bad student” “what you gunna smack me with a ruler?” Rolls eyes “I will if you don’t keep quiet!” “Whatever you say! Ma’am~” “I’ll be back with the ruler.” “WHAT?!”

Sasuke🗡️-*

He uses it nonchalantly or when he’s being goofy. Like everytime he leaves home you always say “be safe baby” and he always responds with “yes ma’am.” In a serious tone. He knows you worry that one day he may not come back so he must reassure you!

“Be safe Sasuke. I expect you home by 10!” “Yes ma’am, i will I promise. I must go now! I’ll see you at dinner darling” you whisper “it’s cute when you call me that” right before he closes the door (he heard it anyways)

Itachi🥀-*

He is such a good boyfriend honestly. He’s the kind of guy to do little tasks for you when you ask. So normally when your to lazy all you gotta do is ask him to do it instead!

“Tachi, can you please get me some more water?” “Yes ma’am!!!” Very rare times you ask him to do something without him responding with a “yes ma’am~”

Kakashi🍃-*

His mouth gets himself in trouble, sometimes he says things that could be viewed a different way without realizing it. For example he once said you remind him of a frog. I don’t know how it’s a compliment but he meant it as one…which obviously you didn’t know

“ARE YOU CALLING ME AN UGLY FROG KASHI?!” “N-no ma’am! That’s not what I mea-” “NO I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANNNN! YOU THINK IM SLIMEY TOAD” you start smiling once you realize how silly this really is “no I swear I meant it in a nice way!!!” “WELL-…did you call me ma’am?” “Uhm…depends do you not like it” you chuckle “no I don’t mind, it’s cute.” He lets out a sigh of relief “well I guess I’ll call you that more often?~”

Kiba🐺-*

Like kakashi his mouth gets him in trouble, exept Kiba does it on purpose to try and get a rise out of you he likes it when your rough ofc that means he just teases as much as possible, but then he tries acting all innocent

He’s on his knees directly infront of your legs waiting for you to look at him “I know what your doing Kiba. It’s not gunna work” he flashes the puppy eyes “well I’m not doing anything y/n🥺” “so your serious not trying to get a rise out of me?” “Noooo ma’am” you grab his face with your hand rather aggressively“is this want you want puppy?” A very quiet “Yes” could be heard from him

Shikamaru🀄️-*

He only calls you ma’am when you nag him about doing chores or helping you cook, he knows he can’t say no but “maam” is his only way of back talk

“Hey Shika be a dear and take out the trash” “ahhh yes anything for you ma’am.” He responded in the most sarcastic voice he could make “watch that tone babe!” “Yeah yeah whatever, such a pain” “I’ll show you pain.” A water bottle was soon thrown directly at his head LOL

Shino🪲-*

Call me weird but I feel like if he was going to call you something like that he would call you mistress instead but that’s for another time! When he does call you ma’am it’s mostly because he admires your leadership. You guys would be testing battle strategy and when you command him into a certain position you could here his cheerful “yes ma’am” while he runs into position

Neji🎋-*

He only uses it to get out of trouble actually. When he does something he isn’t supposed to he tries lying abt what he did

“Neji. Were you in my drawers?” “What!!! No ma’am that is absurd I would never dig through your shirt drawer!” You look at him with a blank stare “I never said it was my shirt drawer. Time to fess up pretty.” He sighs loudly. “Fine yes. But only because I missed your scent!!!” “Awwwww…kinda creepy but cute!!”

Lee🥋-*

Your like his own personal Inspirator. You give him pep talk like every single day and being the energy ball he is he is so hyped to hear about it

“Are you gunna train hard today?” “Yes ma’am!” “And you going to be proud of yourself no matter what?!” “Yes ma’am!!!!!” “Are you not gunna over work yourself for me?” “YES MA’AM!!!!”

Choji🍥-*

Again he takes your authority very seriously! So ma’am is fitting when your taking charge of every day things. Even if your not trying to be all serious he will always respect your power but he also looks to you for guidance

“Hey handsome you said you needed me?” “Yes y/n-chan. I figured you could help me with this?” You sigh “the only way I’ll be of help is if you do what I tell you too, can you…do that?” “Yes ma’am! I’m a very good listener!” You giggle “cute now let’s get started”

Gaara⏳-*

He has mommy issues and your strong and independent ofc he’s gunna call you names like that and ask for you to take care of him?! You love babying him anyways but it’s always so cute when he’s had a rough day mentally wise and the first thing he does is go to you

“Y/n, may we please have some alone time…” he asked shyly “of course rose, bad mental day?” You open your arms to him “yes ma’am. It was hard today.” He comments before hopping in your arms waiting for you to make everything better

Kankuro🪆-*

He calls you ma’am when your all mad at him for being bratty “but I was just checking out your new pants!” “You expect me to believe that you were just looking at my pants and not my ass?” “Yes ma’am” kinda like Kiba he wants you to be rough with him ok. He’s just trying to tease so you do something about it which you don’t because your strong, and it’s funner to just calling him a brat and watching him squirm at the insults



[applepiiex]

nanami x ftm reader pre op please. . . i need comfort i crave it. reader feels dysmorphic and nanami comforts them pleaseee

ALL OF YOU ! ! ! ♡ˎˊ˗

Nanami Kento x FTM!Reader

You catch your reflection by accident, and suddenly everything spirals. The dysphoria hits hard, loud and cruel—like it always does. You're not flat enough, not sharp enough, not man enough. So you hide under your hoodie. Curl up on the bed. Try to disappear. But Nanami sees you anyway. He always does. With quiet hands and steady words, he reminds you that your body does not make you a man—you do. And he’ll hold you through the worst of it, no matter how long it takes.

・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆・┆✦ʚ♡ɞ✦ ┆

It starts in the mirror.

You’d had a good day. Or at least you thought you had. But then the hoodie comes off.

The binder’s already been peeled away. Your skin’s red from compression, your chest feels too loud, too visible. You catch your reflection by accident and— That’s all it takes.

The spiral’s quick. Familiar. Ugly.

Your brain starts whispering lies in your own voice.

Too soft. Not flat enough. Not right. Not a man.

You throw on a shirt, then another, then a sweater. It doesn’t help. By the time Nanami gets home, you’re curled up on the bed under the blanket, hood pulled up, fists tucked under your chin. You haven’t said a word.

He notices immediately. He always does.

“Darling?” he says gently, setting down his keys. “Bad day?”

You don’t answer. You don’t want to lie—but you can’t say it out loud either. You expect him to ask more questions. He doesn’t.

Instead, he sits beside you. Not too close, not crowding you. Just there.

Present.

“I ran into that bookstore clerk again,” he says softly, like nothing’s wrong. “The one who always calls me ‘sir’ like he’s nervous I’ll turn him into a toad.”

You snort. Just a little. Nanami catches it.

He keeps going.

“Said he liked my tie. I told him you picked it. That made him more nervous.”

Your chest shakes a little.

He turns toward you slowly.

And then, gently, he asks, “Can I see you?”

You flinch. Just barely. Your head shakes no.

“Okay,” he says easily. No pressure. No hurt. “Then can I just be with you like this?”

You nod.

Silence stretches again. Comfortable this time. Eventually, your voice comes out, small.

“I feel gross.”

Nanami frowns.

“Not gross,” you correct, “just… wrong. Like I’m not right in my skin. Like I’m pretending.”

Nanami doesn’t rush to fix it. Doesn’t argue. He listens. Then he says, “You are not pretending.”

You swallow.

“You are real,” he says, softer. “You are mine. And you are a man.” He shifts closer. “The way you laugh. The way you care. The way you take up space in this world like you deserve to. None of that is a lie.”

His hand moves to yours, but he doesn’t grip—he waits. You lace your fingers through his. Your voice cracks.

“But what if I hate how I look?”

“Then we’ll work with that,” he says. “However long it takes. However you need. But your body doesn’t make you a man. You do.”

Tears burn behind your eyes.

“I want to feel like me again.” Your voice cracks in the middle of it. You sound small. Raw.

Nanami doesn’t flinch. He doesn’t look away. His thumb smooths over the back of your knuckles, steady and slow, like he’s mapping the shape of your hands all over again.

“You will,” he says softly. “I promise you will.”

You shake your head.

“I don’t know how. Some days I just… I don’t know where I went. Like I’m trapped under someone else's skin. Like no matter what I do, he doesn’t show up in the mirror.”

Nanami breathes in through his nose, quiet and even. You know that sound—he’s grounding himself, too.

He shifts onto the bed, kicks off his shoes, and sits beside you fully this time, his thigh warm against yours under the blanket.

And he says, “Then let’s find him. Together.”

You let out a short breath. “That’s not how it works.”

He tilts his head, mouth twitching just slightly—not a smirk, not quite a smile. “Isn’t it?”

You glance over at him.

“You think you have to do this alone. You never do,” he murmurs. “I know dysphoria lies to you. I know it makes your body feel like a stranger. But it’s your body. It’s always been yours. It does not define you. It just carries you.”

Your throat tightens.

Nanami’s eyes flick toward your chest for half a second—not lingering, never—just acknowledging. He sees the tension in your shoulders, the way you’re clutching the hoodie tighter like it might erase you.

So he asks again, gentler this time:

“May I see you?”

You hesitate. Your hands shake when they move.

You pull the hoodie up over your head in one motion and drop it beside you, then sit there in the old t-shirt you never let anyone else see you in—except him.

You don’t look at him. You can’t.

But Nanami sees everything.

The flushed red where your binder used to be. The curve of your chest that makes your stomach twist. The way your body holds itself—defensive, ashamed.

He breathes in once. Not shocked. Not repulsed.

Just present.

He cups your jaw with one hand and turns your face gently toward him.

“There you are,” he says, like it’s obvious. Like you hadn’t just crumbled in front of him. “There’s my man.”

You blink.

The tears hit fast. Hot. You bite your lip to stop them but it doesn’t work. It never works with him.

“Nanami—”

“You don’t have to be flat to be real,” he whispers. “You don’t have to change to deserve respect. You don’t have to prove anything to me. I know exactly who you are.”

He brings your forehead to his, noses brushing.

“I see the man who holds my hand when I’m overwhelmed. The man who sings terribly in the car. The man who kissed me for the first time like he meant it.”

Your shoulders start to shake.

He wraps his arms around you fully this time.

“You don’t owe me passing. You don’t owe the world that. You are a man because you are. Because you say so. And I love all of you. Right here. Right now.”

You break.

The tears fall.

But you don’t fall alone.

Nanami holds you tighter. One hand runs up and down your back while the other cradles your head, thumb brushing your nape.

“You are enough,” he murmurs. “You are mine. And there’s nothing in this world I would change about you.”

You don’t say anything back. You just bury yourself in him.

You sit like that for a long time—his shirt against your face, your breathing syncing to his.

Eventually, his voice breaks the silence again. Gentle. Reassuring.

“Do you want to wear something more comfortable? We can lay down.”

You nod.

He pulls away just long enough to fetch one of his old oversized button-downs—the one you once called “the hot professor shirt.”

He helps you change into it, careful and slow, never letting your skin feel too bare for too long. He doesn’t stare. But he looks. With care. With love. With the kind of reverence that tells you he’s not looking past you—he’s seeing you.

When you finally lie down together, you’re in his arms, face against his chest, his fingers carding gently through your hair.

And for the first time all day—

You feel like yourself again.

[trothplighted]

Ok so first of all I just spent hours scrolling on your blog, I’m obsessed with your meta posts, they’re so well thought through and intriguing.

I am curious about your thoughts about Peter/how he was portrayed in the early days of the fandom. I originally got into the HP fandom back in 2010ish and for a long time I didn’t question Peter being constantly left out of fanfics and fanart because the Peter that we meet in PoA is just inherently unlikeable. Re-evaluating as an adult, I want Peter there (specifically in the context of first war fics). His betrayal is so much worse when he actually exists as a friend to the other Marauders, and I hate that it gets overlooked. And I really have a hard time coming up with a reason for his exclusion that isn’t just… fatphobia.

I re-entering the fandom last year after being out of it for nearly a decade, and now characters like BCJR and Evan Rosier and Regulus Black (who have been characterized by fans as hugely attractive) play a huge role in fanon, but Peter (who is canonically fat and a bit ugly) is still often left out. And idk I’ve been thinking a lot about how JKR associates moral goodness with attractiveness (Peter is fat and I believe at one point is actually referred to as looking like a rat, Sirius is described as attractive while Regulus is essentially described as mid, Snape, back in PS when we're introduced to him and supposed to think he's awful, has greasy hair and yellow teeth, Umbridge is described as looking like a toad). I know this is not unique to JKR but I think it has played a huge role in how fans view Peter, whose character could be so interesting to explore but is just… not even included half of the time.

I also get really irritated that he’s one of the only characters consistently headcanoned as aroace. And of course, aroace headcanons are good and lovely, I myself am aspec and love to see the representation within headcanons, but it really irks me that the only canonically fat character (I’m pretty sure he’s the only one? Correct me if I’m wrong) is so regularly headcanoned as aroace. It just feels like people projecting their own fat=undesirable perspectives onto him.

Anyway this ended up being way longer than I anticipated, but I’d love to hear your Peter thoughts :)

So this took a long time because I wanted to do enough broad research to make sure my memories matched up with broader fandom trends - the HP fandom has always been big, and since it began in a decentralized era of the web tracking it has always been hard. But from what I’ve been able to see I more or less had the right of it from the start, so let’s dig in.

The question of what to do with Peter has always been kind of a messy and complicated one. You can find comments and feedback on fanworks globally across multiple languages voicing contradictory opinions on him, and criticizing or praising his inclusion or exclusion or characterization, essentially as far back as you can find Marauders-era fanworks online. People would praise a story for incorporating him well, for treating him like an equal friend among the four boys, for giving him good qualities, and for not writing him like a villain-to-be. Some stories like The Shoebox Project made an effort to make him an equal protagonist, while many others would present Sirius-James-Remus as a tight-knit trio with a bonus hanger-on in Peter. And you can see based on the commentary (check Fanlore for this, particularly their records of things like fanbooks and doujinshi) that there were a lot of people who thought like you did - why not make him a full-fledged equal member? Isn’t that how he was? Maya’s “Sirius Black, Super Genius” (not hosted by the author anywhere but you can find reuploads and archives if you Google) is useful here - it’s a bit of a crackfic and definitely a comedy but Peter is a present character who feels very authentic to how I remember him in the fics that were kind to him.

For once I don’t think we can necessarily call this fatphobia’s fault. It wasn’t until OotP that we had any idea of what Peter looked like as a teenager, and several people headcanoned that he (like many people) was thinner as a student and a young man than he was as an adult, at least if the fanart is anything to go by. This is of course a different kind of fatphobia, linking innocence and good qualities with thinness, but if Peter isn’t seen as universally or uniformly fat by the fandom it does mean they’re treating him with a kinder and more nuanced hand. I think it comes from the fact that for five years, including the Three Year Summer that was the first generation of HP fandom’s major creative period, our only awareness of Peter was as a traitor or as the boy who grew into a traitor. People wanted to create reasons for that, so they made him the least-close of the four Marauders, or they made him the least intelligent, or the least Gryffindor-like (meaning here that he was least likely to break rules for fun or take risks for fun, and the most cowardly). People didn’t consistently want to make him a hero, because he wasn’t a character with a future to be spun out. There were sympathetic villains or charismatic antagonists who had devoted followings of their own, but these were people like Lucius or Draco or Snape or even Young Sexy Diary Tom Riddle rather than Peter.

I don’t think this necessarily had to do with physical appearance (Snape’s greasy unwashed hair, confirmed teenage acne, and canonical unattractiveness weren’t obstacles even before Alan Rickman was cast), I think it had to do with personality - there wasn’t anything that most people who woobified or sexified villains could work with in Peter. He was a spineless coward, and his second appearance in GoF made him even more spineless and weak and whimpering. Even his complicated potion and resurrection ritual work is unappreciated by the narrative - Voldemort negs him through it for the whole school year, and Harry justifiably doesn’t really care that it’s cool as shit that he grew a whole new body in a cauldron.

I tend to challenge Rowling’s attitudes about all of her characters, which is a substantial effort because she’s deeply opinionated about every single one of them, but Peter is difficult as fuck to flesh out because we essentially know nothing about him beyond his betrayal. We don’t know what his dynamic with the others was really like. We don’t know how he felt about them, because he never talks about them where we can see it beyond the conversation in PoA. We also don’t know many details of how they felt about him except that both Sirius and Remus would have died to protect him rather than turn traitor, though this is probably true of many people besides Peter, especially among other Order members. And when you look strictly at his deeds and his canonical dialogue, when you remove authorial motivation and judgment, what he did still sucks real bad. We can’t immediately presume he was dealing with trauma or working through internalized prejudices, we can’t identify abusive family or community members, we can’t say with canonical backing that he was probably feeling overshadowed in his friend group due to the actions of Sirius and James. All we’ve got is that when it mattered he broke. And people don’t really know what to do with that.

To your point about BCJR and Regulus and Evan Rosier - Rosier is a blank slate, we can do what we like with him (I personally don’t care about him); BCJR and Regulus both have characterization details like people who remember them and parents who exist in the text beyond one mention. They’re more solidly fleshed out as characters (and of course it’s funny because people choose to ignore those canonical character traits in favor of building their own, such is the way of fandom) which gives them more to do and more space to take up. Peter has one character trait, and it’s “sucks real bad”. Even Umbridge comes off better, because a sympathetic or JKR-critical reading of the text can find a lot of fertile ground in examining someone whose gender presentation is naturally hyperfeminine and who clearly loves being a girl but who isn’t conventionally attractive and who never was. Peter doesn’t even have that.

Regarding sexuality headcanons - I do think allo people generally tend to assign arospec and aspec headcanons to characters they personally find “least fuckable”. I don’t think this is a conscious decision necessarily, I think it’s the safe option for many fans, but I do think that it comes out here with Peter. There aren’t any ships people are really feral for that have Peter in them, and he’s both too defined to have a place in post-2016 Marauders Build Your Own Canon and too undefined to have a place in canon-compliant works that rely on canon characterization to inform the relationship dynamics. So he gets handed the arospec and aspec rep, and people don’t necessarily mean anything negative by it but it does pretty neatly stick him into the “nobody has to feel complicated or sad about him being gone or being evil” box.

Historically, he was usually an unlucky-in-love straight boy who was just as girl-crazy as James was and Sirius was/pretended to be. (Bisexual Sirius was the fandom norm for a very brief window in time and fairly common for a decent while because of how hot and charismatic and presumably-slutty he was, because fandom is a reflection of society and that’s how the early 2000s felt about bi people. Post-HBP bi Remus became much more common and Sirius was firmly relegated to being 100% homo 100% of the time.) Part of it is that asexuality and aromanticism were very rarely discussed in broad fandom spaces, part of it was that if a character wasn’t gay/bi they were perceived as straight automatically, and part of it was again simply that nobody really could agree on what to do with him. You’d see a few fics that would expand on his affections and attractions, but they didn’t take hold in the public consciousness.

So - that’s more or less where we stand. I think Peter’s probably the only character whose position in fandom now is more or less exactly what it was 20 years ago. Isn’t that fascinating?

[wolfgang1097]

What's up folks, this is Ari. For quite sometime, actually ever since I downloaded the remaining Spy vs. Spy paperbacks from Anna's Archives back in mid to late September, while I was checking out "Missions of Madness" (which is, of course, a reprint of "The Fourth Declassified Files of Spy vs. Spy") the strip "For Whom the Belle's Toad" became one of my favorite paperback strips (I do have several more select favorite paperback strips, though) for some reason.

WARNING: SPOILER IN EFFECT

It's the one where Black pulls a prank on White when the latter was reading "The Princess and the Frog" in the park. This strip is one of many that basically implies that Black is very comfortable with the supernatural when he casually devised his plan with a local hag of a witch in the woods.

See.

I swear, the witch cursing herself into a frog like that is so well done. I'm pretty sure that's going to give little kids nightmares. Another reason why Prohias's era of the comics, especially the paperback comics, is so freak'n good.

Then we've got this:

LOL at how Black straight up runs around with a witch's broom like that and then lures White to the frog. Of course, instead of suspecting that this was obviously a bulls*** prank Black was trying to pull, White thinks back to the book and kisses the frog, thinking that it should be a princess who needs help.

Okay, gotta love that close-up of White kissing the frog here. It's so freak'n priceless. Then again, those eyelashes on him, though LOL.

The second White broke the frog's curse, instead of a princess like he read in the book, he ended up making a fat ugly witch fall in love with him. I swear to god, his reaction once he finds out is just more priceless.

See. I mean, White's reaction here is basically me when I get called in for jury duty earlier than expected.

The last image, when White was forcibly married to the witch, who is lustfully carrying him to their car has got to be the most priceless.

White's face here is basically me having to come in for jury duty. I also just love how Black is barely holding back his laughter like that. I swear, Black is such a wise-ass. Throughout this entire strip in general, practically every single panel is just so hilarious and absolutely very well done through and through. I mean, I have been dying to see the paperback comics, like this one for example, for months.

What do you guys think? Is this among one of your personal favorite Spy vs. Spy paperback strips, or is one that you at least enjoy? If so, feel free to share why. One final note: Yes, I wish this was made into an animated short for MADtv (the 90s series), I wish the same for Doggie Bagged and the Model Detective.

I do not claim ownership of any content. Spy vs. Spy belongs to the defunct MAD magazine and Antonio Prohias.

[fandom-susceptible]

TDP Rewatch S1 E5: An Empty Throne

This one's narrator voice is Viren again.

Remember how damn long we had to wait before we got an explanation of who the glittery hands in the old intro belonged to? Holy fuck.

I appreciate how slowly Viren walks as he goes to get his butterflies of youth, it really sells how dark magic wears on the body. Also gives me the creeps though, it's some Gothel shit, like. He's draining these lives to stay looking the same, right? How long has he been doing that? I mean, canon does expand on it later, we know he's just maintaining his actual age, but it just has some terrible possibilities.

I appreciate how holding the cube up to Rayla makes the moon side of it glow and hum. No wonder she just dismisses his whole "it's different now!" speech. The thing glowed for her when she picked it up, she's not aware this is a new revelation for him.

"This doesn't end well for you" when Callum woke her up also made me laugh because it's such a teenager thing, but it's also an exasperated parent thing, and it makes me wonder which one she learned that threat from. Was it Tiadrin or Lain before they left? Runaan? Ethari seems the type to follow it up by aggressively tickling, too, honestly.

And see now here's where we see Viren start to go off the rails after his plan fails. I do love his confrontation with Amaya in the throne room.

God I love these absolute dumbass teenagers dealing with the Primal Stone, absolute nerds they're so cute. I don't have a lot of commentary about the kids because they're just. Adorable.

THE MOMENT EZRAN CALLS RAYLA CUTE GETS ME, I LOVE THEM.

I love how Amaya's had beef with Viren just since Day 1. She doesn't even know he's a traitor yet she just thinks he's a bitch. "I would have given my own life!" "Then what went wrong?" She's literally just like the ideal option would have been you die and i never see your ugly face again. Same, Amaya, same.

The way Viren caresses the throne and smiles at it in this scene does NOT sell his words.

"Those are awfully nice clothes for a humble servant, Viren." is such a good line from Amaya specifically. She, Sarai, and Viren are all explicitly not noble born, but Viren stands in front of her in black and gold and gem-studded courtier's clothing, while she wears the same armor as any of her other soldiers. She refuses to hold herself apart from them so much so that her own nephews didn't recognize her before they could see her face. Her interpreter has a more unique armor design than she does.

Also, this scene, as Viren storms out away from the throne after Amaya denies it, this is the moment that I decided I absolutely despised Viren. Up until now, it's seemed more like manipulations and political machinations that keep backfiring and spinning out of his control, we don't know him very well outside of that other than his emotional abuse of Soren and his brief attack against Callum. Soren is his adult son, and Callum is a child that's challenging not one but two of his bigger plans and making him panic. There's motivations for his behavior. But this scene is different, because Gren hasn't done fuck-all to Viren here. He's an unarmed man who has done nothing but his job, relaying someone else's words. He's not the one Viren is mad at. But as Viren storms off between them, it's not Amaya, who he's actually angry with, but who is armed and angry back, it's Gren that he strikes in the chest hard enough to make him take a step back. It's a tiny moment but it demonstrates this sort of casual cruelty and cowardice, because he's angry enough to harm someone who won't fight back, but he's too much of a coward to fight the woman who actually angered him.

I love that Harrow's the one who named Bait. I had forgotten that. Also the fact that Callum is wheezing as he tries to relay the story because he and Harrow apparently share this sense of humor. Rayla being so grossed out at the idea of eating at toad that her whole body cringes was adorable. But hey, it distracted her from being seasick!

Hmm. In retrospect, having seen the flashbacks later, I actually Dislike how Sarai's statue is of the moment she reaches out to help Viren in Xadia. It has the same sort of vibe as Harrow's coronation portrait featuring Viren smiling when Harrow wasn't. Somehow he's tainted both of their memories.

Amaya talking to her sister at her grave was a powerful moment, for a lot of reasons and I've seen plenty of people talk about most of them at length, but the one that stands out to me was that Gren came with her. She wasn't anticipating company, is the thing. She didn't need an interpreter to talk to just Sarai. He's just there because he's also her friend. I like how you can see him grit his teeth when he sees Viren, too, which is just an independent moment of a friend being like how dare you interrupt her moment and intrude on her grief.

Poor Rayla on the boat. I also love how Callum figured out he could distract her from the water by asking her about things that would make her nerd out about Xadia for a minute.

The waterfall scene has the same vibe as the barrel scene from The Hobbit. Thorin and Rayla pissed as hell, soaking wet cats, Kili and Fili and Callum and Ezran cackling delightedly at the ride.

Honestly elf hair is fascinating though, Rayla patted hers down from standing straight up earlier with just a few strokes of her hand, and it fell right where she had styled it before, and it soaks through so quickly once she's drenched. If you have long hair that's as thick as hers looks, you know how hard that is with just splashes of water!

The reminiscing about what Sarai was like is a really sweet moment for a second, honestly. It reveals some things about what the boys' mother was like, and how much Amaya loved and was close to her sister. I also like how Amaya's face smooths out really quickly after Viren starts to "apologize" and change the subject to their fight, literally right in front of her sister's memorial. She gets real pointed real quickly, and then immediately sarcastic.

Yk, I've seen several debates around whether Amaya was actually swearing in the "I've encountered a giant pile of bull . . . droppings." moment, with some sign language speakers even divided, and since I haven't used sign language since I was 4, I really didn't know personally. However with the scene in season 7 - "She wants you to know she used a different word than posterior." - I think that's confirmation it was intended to be a moment of Gren censoring her, lmao. I do appreciate how his expression is so fucking satisfied mirroring her right up until that moment, and then you see him break character to censor it. Amaya and Gren's interactions are so precious to me, honestly, because neither of them are flat characters. They both feel like people with distinct personalities. Amaya isn't reduced to relying on him - in fact sends him away later in this episode because she trusts him enough to send him after her nephews - and Gren also isn't just an NPC whose only job is to be her voice for the narrative. They're also just friends.

"The mission will be assigned to Commander Gren." and his brief moment of short circuiting because wait, that's his name? Oh shit, that's him. Also hi, yeah, he's actually never introduced himself to Lord Viren, he has to speak for himself suddenly.

I love how fucking terrible a villain Viren is, honestly. Like he's a cruel, callous, manipulative bitch with absolutely NO poker face. No wonder Amaya keeps calling him out. Everyone else is paying attention to his wheedling voice and convincing tones and she's looking at how he's sneering behind it.

Rayla's hair dries out so quickly once she gets onto land, I'm so fascinated by it.

"Do it for the frog! The . . . grumpy frog that hates ye. Here goes." I love her so much. She's such an angsty 15 year old.

Callum really just destroyed the entire ecology of that pond in one shot.

Amaya warning the other guards not to trust Viren is so satisfying.

There's such genuine affection between Gren and Amaya in this scene as she says how she trusts him to act in her stead, not just as her voice but to save her nephews now too. I live for the way they hug.

I like the subtle threat in how she circles Viren on her horse before leaving. The reminder that he may be the one at the castle, and his son may lead the Crownguard, but she commands the army.

Poor Gren. Amaya leaves and he immediately gets fucked over and does Not know how to handle it. You can really see the "oh he's also the Baby of his social circle" now. (he's 24 to Soren's 18)

Culture clash moment with the kids, culture clash moment! I love this. I also have to notice how Rayla says Moonshadow elves (not elves in general) don't show fear. The boys call it sad, but there's . . . actually some wisdom in that, for a culture that's built around showing their warriors and hiding their civilians. Don't show fear because showing fear shows the enemy how to take advantage of it. She doesn't defend it like that, just says it's their way, but it makes sense, and she doesn't say anything about not being afraid, just not showing it.

Once again, I'm so fascinated by the Dragonguard being eight warriors, specifically. Eight, when there's five elven races in Xadia, all of which have some level of allegiance to the dragons, since they worked together to establish the Breach. Two Moonshadow, one Skywing confirmed, but the Skywing in question was not Ibis, who is later established as being one of the most powerful sky mages in Xadian history, a living legend. Why wouldn't he have been on the list? Who were the other five, and what happened to them? Did they all flee? If they weren't Skywing elves and were descending to run as Viren ascended for the egg, did they make it? Did any of the others try to battle Viren outside and just get thrown from the Spire? Were they all Skywing elves, with the Moonshadow pair conscripted as one of their people's services to the dragon crown? Was there a mix, and who else was doubled up if so? I want so much more information about them!

It's been about three days, if I've counted right? Since the assassination. The binding on Rayla's wrist is tight enough that shes losing her grip on things, but can mostly still use it. There's occasional shocks of pain. It's like wearing a wrist brace that you wrapped on a little too tight for a few hours, except she can't just loosen it to get the blood flowing again.

Gren is so polite and yet also incredibly sarcastic. I love him so much. His boot just kicked up against the wall so casually.

Runaan refusing to eat in the dungeon is such a good story note to me. He's been captured, he's declared himself dead. He's disabled to a point where he can't do anything to ensure that outcome, but what he can do is simply nothing. Don't even eat. Don't give them anything. It's awful but effective and I love that for him.

His binding is tight enough that it's turning his arm purple already, but that's likely exacerbated by the fact that his is around thick muscle and veins where Rayla's is around a bonier part of the arm, and his arm is suspended above his heart, which will make blood flow even worse. His arm is also slightly swollen compared to his other one. Especially with the blood loss he should be suffering after the wounds he sustained fighting his way out of Harrow's room to send the shadowhawk. He says he's already dead because he's dead to his people, but he is, effectively, dying, just very, agonizingly slowly.

Also, I think it's neat how much attention they paid to his model, honestly. The tattoo on his chest reaches up over his left shoulder, leaving two slash marks down his shoulder blade. The ones on his arms match.

His scars are also interesting. The slash on his right pec is nearly in line with the slashes on his left side, as if something twisted around him. He also still has a nasty bruise on his jaw.

Credits!

This credits sketch gives me so many emotions. Rayla has never liked water. She's so distressed by this bath. I wonder which of her parents she was reaching for?

I wonder if Runaan thought about this stage of her childhood when he dove into that river after her in Bloodmoon Huntress, if he and Ethari worried that it would make her fear worse. I wonder how much it actually did, if she'd mostly gotten over it with the limited reasoning of an 8 year old and then was plunged back in and they didn't know how to help her with it.

[gt-scribbles]

The Loveliest Thing [Thumbelina Retelling]

[1k word limit piece of writing for a contest! I couldn't believe when I saw this month's challenge was to retell a classic fairytale. I've had this version of Thumbelina in my head for YEARRRS. I really want to make this a fully fleshed out idea one day, but here's the 1k contest version.~]

Something always bothered me as a child. Something I wished to explore in a retelling.

Why did everyone fall in love with Thumbelina so easily...?

⭑･ﾟﾟ･:༅｡.｡༅:ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

⭑･ﾟﾟ･:༅｡.｡༅:ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

There once was a witch who wished to have a son. A fairy sold her a seed to plant in the ground. The old woman did so, and from a magical flower woke a tiny young woman no bigger than a thumb. The witch was disappointed, but the girl was hers and so she tried to love her. But in her disappointment, she named her Thumbelina.

Thumbelina would not help with the chores, for she was too small. She was a plain thing with red hair and fair skin who wished to freckle her face in the sun and sing to the stars.

Then one night, a fairy boy her age heard Thumbelina singing.

“Who does that lovely voice belong to?” “My name is Thumbelina.” “An odd name.” “Says the boy with leafy wings!” “You are the loveliest thing I’ve seen- would you marry me?” “Would I! Take me away from my wicked mother.” “We shall be married at the eve of summer!” “That’s in three days! We barely know each other’s names!” “What is a name when you have beauty?” “What is my name, leafy fairy?” “It is too beautiful for me to utter.” “What is my name?” “Forgive me, for I have forgotten.”

Thumbelina’s mother woke and shooed the fairy away.

“You are cruel and wicked! He loved me, for I am the loveliest thing he has ever seen!” “You are a plain and wretched thing. But so be it. All who see you shall think you the loveliest thing they’ve ever seen, if they are capable of loving you. But you shall never be truly loved.”

Thumbelina sang through her tears by the creek to call back the fairy boy.

A toad by the water laid eyes on Thumbelina, and fell in love with her. He spirited her away to ask for her hand in marriage, but she could never marry such an ugly thing. He trapped her in a bottle to prepare a wedding with his mother’s help.

Thumbelina cried to some fireflies to help her, and they agreed, saying such a pretty thing could never marry a toad. They took her away down the river, to distant lands.

She soon grew hungry, and pushed the water-soft cork out of the bottle to swim to shore.

A ladybug saw Thumbelina, and fell in love with her. She swept her away to a party in a tree. She asked to marry her, but Thumbelina could never live so high in a tree. The other bugs called her ugly, and left her in the mud.

Thumbelina wandered the autumn woods looking for a home. All who saw her offered their hands in marriage, and each time, she grew more uneasy. Winter came, cold as Thumbelina’s heart.

Her cries brought a field-mouse with a cloth ‘round her shoulders. She invited her to her home for a warm meal and clothes. At dinner, Thumbelina asked, “Mrs. Field-mouse, do you wish to marry me?” “My dear, I do not wish to marry anyone.”

After days of good food and warm company, Thumbelina began helping with the chores. They cleaned the den for company. “My neighbor the mole is a learned man with fine coats and a sensitive disposition. Treat him well, and tell him stories of the far lands you’ve seen.”

Thumbelina was surprised that he was not a mole, but a young man, her size. He wore ragged hair over his eyes and a cloak of cloth that made him look like a mole. He was rude to Thumbelina at first, and the field-mouse introduced her to him. She told him Thumbelina was very pretty. He messily ate his pastries without a word. She added that Thumbelina had many stories of the outside world. He slowly straightened and turned towards her. His messy chewing stopped. He asked, in a rarely-used voice, “Could you tell me of the stars from your home?”

The two had dinner many nights. For every story she told, he returned with an adventure of his own. Thumbelina wanted to stay until spring, but had to ask the mole something first.

“What do you think of my face?” “It is a good face for telling stories and enjoying pastries.” “Am I the prettiest thing you’ve seen?” “You are as pretty as any thing I have seen.” “You don’t think I am beautiful?” “Your laugh is beautiful.” “What do you think of my appearance?” “I don’t think of it.” “Well that is very rude! I am certain that if I saw your face, I wouldn’t think of it either!” She stood and brushed his hair away from his face, to which he greatly recoiled. Thumbelina was shocked by his eyes, soft and milky with blindness. “You cannot see.” “I have not seen since I was young and my brother blinded me.” “Mole.” “Virgil. It is the name I was given before.” “Virgil. Do you love me?” “You are lovely company, Thumbelina, but I do not wish to marry you.” “You cannot see…” Thumbelina repeated aloud.

Spring came, and Thumbelina led Virgil into the sun. The prince found them, and demanded Thumbelina come with him at once.

When she looked into his eyes, she could see her witchy mother’s magic in them. He could not see Thumbelina.

“Why would you run to my blind older brother? If you marry me, I shall be king! And you, a queen.” “You have never loved me- you are the cruelest, most wicked thing I have ever seen.” “Wretched girl, rot in the tunnels with the mole!”

The prince left them.

“My brother is a cruel creature, mad for power.” “He is terrible, you would have made a far better king.” “And now I am the muddy mole of the tunnels. Because of him, I am cursed to never enjoy the stars again, the loveliest things I’d ever seen.”

Thumbelina took his hands, and gently cupped them to her face. He ran his thumbs along the speckled stars on her cheeks. Thumbelina smiled.

⭑･ﾟﾟ･:༅｡.｡༅:ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

⭑･ﾟﾟ･:༅｡.｡༅:ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

[cosmicjoke]

Look the reason I hold Levi’s popularity so highly is because once upon a time he actually was the most popular character in the fandom and with that comes rabid fans. All his fans were crazy and everywhere you went so I’m happy to see the type of fall of he’s had because now we can rub it in your loser ass faces. Get fucking humbled. Imagine being one of the most popular anime characters and now no one even talks about you anymore. Having that type of legacy is just flat out embarrassing. And to be beat out by a character that commits genocide too is even worse. Maybe he’s still popular in Japan but everywhere else he gets beat out by characters like Eren. The only reason Levi was popular in the first place was because he was attractive and had cool fight scenes but then come season four, MAPPA made him look like a toad with down syndrome and they couldn’t even animate his showdown with Zeke in the forest properly. Face it your favorite character is a has been and has nothing to his character besides his looks and fight scenes. I’m so happy MAPPA made him ugly so people could take off the rose tinted glasses and finally realize that.

The fact you care so much what other people think says more about you than it does anyone else. You're a pathetic, insecure loser who can only get enjoyment out of other people's misery. The fact you're actually sitting here, trying to defend your shitty behavior (and you know it's shitty too, or you wouldn't be sending this delusional tripe anonymously), proves how insecure you are, because you're trying to justify to yourself and others why it is you're such a major asshole. But it doesn't fly. Nobody is going to feel sorry for you and your pathological obsession with what other people enjoy, or your inability to accept it. Why don't you just fuck off already? You're a disgusting person and everybody hates you, with good reason. You constantly display your own ignorance, stupidity, ugliness, insecurity and hatefulness every time you open that worthless hole you call a mouth. Levi was, is and will always be the most popular character from "Attack on Titan". I'm sorry if that disturbs you so much that you've decided to waste your already pointless existence harassing people over it.

Also, the way you harp on here about Levi being "ugly" tells me you aren't getting any, so good job exposing why it is Levi's popularity actually bothers you so much. You're just mad more people want to fuck a fictional character than you, lol.

[blackjackkent]

Shoutout to whoever that person was who pointed out a while back that not only do we find Lae'zel caught in a comically dumb trap by a couple of tieflings, but that there are also several other broken equally dumb traps further along the road indicating that she got caught SEVERAL times and smashed her way out of all of them. Lae'zel is great.

Also I sort of have a bad feeling about what's going to happen to these two tieflings, given that Lae'zel is probably the closest thing to someone Rakha has liked since she woke up. D: But here we go!

"Zorru was right. Yellow as a toad, and twice as ugly."

Yet more representatives of another group Rakha doesn't recognize. These two have horns and ill-kept leather armor, and are talking in low voices together about the prisoner they have caged and hanging several feet off the ground.

Rakha draws a sharp breath as she recognizes the face of the captive - the only other familiar face she knows. It's Lae'zel. She has a sharp bruise over one eye and an expression of absolute fury that would do credit to the beast instinct in Rakha's head.

"The thing's dangerous," the second of the horned guards insists to her companion. "Leave it for the goblins to kill."

"And if it escapes?" says the first. "How will you--"

He breaks off, scowls warily hearing Rakha's footsteps behind him. "Oh. A guest," he says, sounding not particularly pleased.

Rakha's eyes flick around the area, taking in the situation, trying to sort out what is happening. Lae'zel is trapped. Lae'zel helped her on the ship; Lae'zel knew what to do with Rakha's aggression (most of the time at least). Lae'zel is an ally. These who trapped her, then, are enemies.

The blood pulse thumps at the back of her skull - and mixes its rhythm with a sudden stab of pain through her right... what did Gale call it? Ocular region.

Narrator: Your skull pounds in response to the prisoner's white-hot stare. Her lips don't move, yet you hear her voice.

~~Get rid of them.~~

Well. That's new. Rakha blinks several times rapidly. She has seen flashes of imagery through Lae'zel's eyes. Through Shadowheart's. Perhaps from Gale's, given time. But pure thought is another thing in entirely. It's jarring, puts her on edge, yet another voice inside her head.

But Lae'zel's voice is not like the beast that craves blood. It is controlled and sharp, decisive. Practical. An order. A purpose to the violence. Get rid of them. Yes.

Attack the tieflings.

Fire explodes from her fingers, an overwhelming burst outwards. Behind her, she hears Shadowheart curse and Gale whistle softly. She doesn't wait to see if this means they will follow her - and in truth, she's surprised when they do.

Gale is at her side within moments, his own fire spinning out of his palms, the same cry of "IGNIS" on his lips that came instinctively to hers. Behind them, Shadowheart does not attack, but when one of the horned creatures drives a deep cash in Rakha's side, she's dimly aware of some soothing magic from Shadowheart's direction, finding the injury, sealing it.

The fight lasts less than a minute. In the end, the horned fighters are dead. Rakha and her companions are not.

The beast sings in Rakha's head as the death screams echo around the small gorge. Their blood stains the grass.

Blood... blood... blood... blood... blood...

She feels that maniacal grin start to tug at her lips again, forces it away and scowls into the ground until her heartbeat starts to settle into something resembling calm. But the sated thrill remains, singing along her skin, mixing with the magical energy that lingers there.

Lae'zel scowls impatiently as Rakha's expression slowly clears, the haze of violence leaving her eyes. She seems unbothered by Rakha's reaction to the killings. "Enough gawking. Get me down."

Rakha expected no thanks, so she feels no need to demand it. "I'll have you free in a moment," she says, equally blunt.

(Gale, watching this, is intrigued to note the difference between Rakha's matter-of-fact practicality here and the wary threat she offered himself at their first meeting. "Is this what passes for an overture of friendship in the land of angry madwomen?" he asks dryly in an undertone to Shadowheart, who is carefully healing a wound in her own shoulder.

"I wouldn't know," she fires back irritably without looking up. "I haven't been home recently.")

Rakha's solution, after examining the cage carefully, is to burn the bottom of it out from under Lae'zel, which sends the githyanki crashing to the ground in an ungainly pile. She glares up at what remains of the cage before clambering to her feet and dusting herself off.

"The tadpole hasn't yet scrambled all your senses," she says coolly to Rakha, as if nothing happened. "Auspicious." She adjusts her gauntlets, resettles the enormous greatsword on her back. "But the longer we wait, the more it consumes. My people possess the cure for this infection. I must find a creche. You will join me."

As she did on the nautiloid, she speaks so decisively, with such expectation of being obeyed, that Rakha listens in silence, absorbing the instruction.

You will join me. Very well. It is a plan where she has none, save to wreak vengeance on any other illithids that cross her path. Creche, though - the word is unfamiliar.

"Careful," Shadowheart comments with an air of annoyance. "She obviously sees your kindness as weakness. Don't let her take advantage."

Rakha raises one eyebrow. Kindness? She killed the guards and broke the cage, but it was not out of kindness. This was an act of practicality, just as was Lae'zel's request for help - mixed with a touch of inescapable, insatiable bloodlust. Shadowheart, she suspects, simply does not like Lae'zel. Fair enough; she is not required to. But Rakha will make her own judgments.

"And what exactly is a creche?" she asks Lae'zel bluntly, ignoring Shadowheart's warning.

"It is many things," Lae'zel answers promptly. "A hatchery. A training grounds. A shelter. Githyanki protocol is clear - when infected with a ghaik tadpole, we must report to a ghustil for purification."

Rakha parses this carefully. A shelter. A githyanki home. Not Lae'zel's, but others of her kind. A place where they can be purified, the tadpole removed. Free of the tadpole, she can make whatever plans she needs to, find a way to silence the pounding need for blood in her head - or assuage it.

Good.

"All right," she says curtly. "We journey together. Let's find this creche."

Lae'zel straightens up and looks visibly pleased - perhaps the first such expression Rakha can remember in response to herself. "You have made an ally from Creche K'liir," the githyanki says gravely. "Few know such fortune."

(A/N: She then announced "Call me Lae'zel" but of course I'd already decided Rakha knew that. XD This whole next sequence of lines I actually don't remember at all from any other playthrough; I think because normally I already have Astarion by this point so Lae'zel goes to camp rather than introducing herself.)

"I'll trust your judgment," Shadowheart says icily, stepping up at Rakha's side and squinting at Lae'zel warily. "But I won't trust her. Not until I've gotten the measure of her."

"You've a sharp tongue, *elf*," Lae'zel snaps back. "Would that your mind proved its equal."

"Half-elf," Shadowheart corrects with a sneer. "I suppose the finer details are lost on a creature like you."

Half-elf. Rakha files this away. It implies the existence of a complete elf, and some other part of Shadowheart not yet identified. There are a lot of types of people in this world, she is learning.

She is also learning that Lae'zel and Shadowheart will have to be kept far away from each other.

Or perhaps close... perhaps close... until one of them draws on the other and the scent of death pours out of their wounds...

Lae'zel rolls her eyes and turns deliberately away from Shadowheart, focusing her eyes back on Rakha. "Come," she says crisply. "The horned ones mentioned a camp. One there - this Zorru - has seen githyanki. A creche must be near. We will ask this Zorru where he has seen my kin."

Without waiting for a response, she turns and stalks away.

[nedstarkfortnite]

Mikey reads ASOIAF: Jon III AGOT

Short summary: Jon, bitter upon seeing what the Night’s Watch has become, is making enemies with his new brothers. Donal Noye sets him straight. Jon, turning a new leaf and reaching out to his fellow brothers, winds up making Alliser Thorne his enemy in the process.

Ah, the angst of youth. I remember it all too well. My old, weary bones are cracking... (22 years old, about to turn 23). 

HBO keeping “Lord Snow” but not “Toad” or “the Aurochs” feels like a waste. It’s meant to convey to us that Thorne is a dick to literally every new recruit, not just Jon. I feel like his beef with him is more realistic in the books. Jon goes from merely being a stuck up, privileged bastard son of a Lord that he can easily pick on, a face in the crowd, to someone that suddenly makes the whole room laugh in his face. I don’t see why Thorne would be particularly invested in feuding with Jon until he is ridiculed. This also makes it a kind of one chapter journey where Jon goes from being a nobody to a somebody. Does that make sense? I don’t know, looking back on it the show really did make him stand out from the very get go and it was a bit strange how a random guy was out to get him from the very beginning. The other recruits having mean nicknames also makes it more believable when they ally up with Jon against Thorne.

“Jon followed the rest back to the armory, walking alone. He often walked alone here. There were almost twenty in the group he trained with, yet not one he could call a friend. Most were two or three years his senior, yet not one was half the fighter Robb had been at fourteen. Dareon was quick but afraid of being hit. Pyp used his sword like a dagger, Jeren was weak as a girl, Grenn slow and clumsy. Halder's blows were brutally hard but he ran right into your attacks. The more time he spent with them, the more Jon despised them.”

#NotLikeOtherGirls #Emo #MyChemicalRomance

But yeah jokes aside, I think Donal Noye is absolutely right when he says Jon is being arrogant and a bit of a bully. At this point in time he’s too caught up in his own misery to care how it affects others. It’s understandable though, he’s 14 and immature as a 14 year old would be.

“Jon rose at dawn the next day to watch his uncle leave. One of his rangers, a big ugly man, sang a bawdy song as he saddled his garron, his breath steaming in the cold morning air. Ben Stark smiled at that, but he had no smile for his nephew. "How often must I tell you no, Jon? We'll speak when I return."”

Damn Benjen, cold as hell. Come on my dude. You know he’s a kid, it’s not really his fault that he is anxious to prove himself. 

“"They're not my brothers," Jon snapped. "They hate me because I'm better than they are."

"No. They hate you because you act like you're better than they are. They look at you and see a castle-bred bastard who thinks he's a lordling." The armorer leaned close. "You're no lordling. Remember that. You're a Snow, not a Stark. You're a bastard and a bully."

"A bully?" Jon almost choked on the word. The accusation was so unjust it took his breath away. "They were the ones who came after me. Four of them."

"Four that you've humiliated in the yard. Four who are probably afraid of you. I've watched you fight. It's not training with you. Put a good edge on your sword, and they'd be dead meat; you know it. I know it, they know it. You leave them nothing. You shame them. Does that make you proud?"

Jon hesitated. He did feel proud when he won. Why shouldn't he? But the armorer was taking that away too, making it sound as if he were doing something wrong.”

For this reality check alone Donal Noye is one of the best characters in this series. I really love how he took the time to have this chat with Jon, knowing that he wouldn’t like to hear it and would argue back. It’s like a surrogate father of sorts. And Jon really shows his qualities by taking his advice to heart. I applaud him for it. Things like this are not easy to hear and certainly not at his age. That is one of his best qualities as a leader later on, that he is willing to listen to his advisors. 

“As he stood outside the armory looking up, Jon felt almost as overwhelmed as he had that day on the kingsroad, when he'd seen it for the first time. The Wall was like that. Sometimes he could almost forget that it was there, the way you forgot about the sky or the earth underfoot, but there were other times when it seemed as if there was nothing else in the world. It was older than the Seven Kingdoms, and when he stood beneath it and looked up, it made Jon dizzy. He could feel the great weight of all that ice pressing down on him, as if it were about to topple, and somehow Jon knew that if it fell, the world fell with it.”

Cheeky foreshadowing? 

“The talk is, your uncle is too long away."

Jon remembered the wish he'd wished in his anger, the vision of Benjen Stark dead in the snow, and he looked away quickly. The dwarf had a way of sensing things, and Jon did not want him to see the guilt in his eyes. "He said he'd be back by my name day," he admitted. His name day had come and gone, unremarked, a fortnight past.”

Poor Jon. He’s a good kid, and that is also one of his greatest struggles. The responsibility he feels for Benjen’s disappearance is not unique to this situation from what I recall; he has this habit of blaming himself and holding himself accountable for most missteps along the way. Don’t beat yourself up too hard.

Anyway Bran has woken up and Jon panics about the news for a moment thinking he is dead. It seems like he was very close with his male half-siblings and Arya. 

“Others were gathering around and looking at him curiously. Jon noticed Grenn a few feet away. A thick woolen bandage was wrapped around one hand. He looked anxious and uncomfortable, not menacing at all. Jon went to him. Grenn edged backward and put up his hands. "Stay away from me now, you bastard."

Jon smiled at him. "I'm sorry about your wrist. Robb used the same move on me once, only with a wooden blade. It hurt like seven hells, but yours must be worse. Look, if you want, I can show you how to defend that."

Alliser Thorne overheard him. "Lord Snow wants to take my place now." He sneered. "I'd have an easier time teaching a wolf to juggle than you will training this aurochs."

"I'll take that wager, Ser Alliser," Jon said. "I'd love to see Ghost juggle."

Jon heard Grenn suck in his breath, shocked. Silence fell. Then Tyrion Lannister guffawed. Three of the black brothers joined in from a nearby table. The laughter spread up and down the benches, until even the cooks joined in. The birds stirred in the rafters, and finally even Grenn began to chuckle.

Ser Alliser never took his eyes from Jon. As the laughter rolled around him, his face darkened, and his sword hand curled into a fist. "That was a grievous error, Lord Snow," he said at last in the acid tones of an enemy.”

To be fair, Ghost juggling is absolutely hilarious. This is on Thorne for having no sense of humor and being so sensitive. He could’ve just laughed and been done with it, but oh no. 

Anyway I get weirdly emotional when Jon makes peace with Grenn. It’s really sweet and a nice change of pace in a book series filled with so much darkness. 

This might be one of the best Jon chapters actually. Really good shit.

[whimsyswastry]

Spring Green: How do you relax when you’re stressed?

Eggplant: Explain your url and avatar.

Tiny Toad Brown: Do you find beauty in something that people consider to be ugly or undesirable?

How do you relax when you’re stressed?

If I’m just regular stressed, I usually gravitate to something sweet, a cup of tea, and some time outside. But if it’s peak stress and I’m really struggling, I have pretty regressive coping mechanisms. I listen to my high school music, start watching early 00s teen shows or the animated movies from my childhood, and start eating things like Mac and cheese and Dino nuggets. It’s not pretty, but it does make me feel better.

Explain your url and avatar.

In college one of my psych professors was yelling at the class for losing our sense of whimsy. I took offense because it couldn’t have been less true, I was just exhausted. Anyway, for years after, I had the url ForeverWhimsy. Eventually, I made a tumblr side blog called WhimsysWastry (because it was just my own reblogged junk, garbage) but I liked the url so much, I made it my main.

And the avatar is a JNX fanart I found on StumbleUpon in like 20…11? She looked vaguely like me (dark curls, glasses, black clothing), so I’ve used it as my avatar ever since.

Do you find beauty in something that people consider to be ugly or undesirable?

I love ugly dogs. The snaggletooths, the ruffled fur, smooshed noses, and crossed eyes. Of course, I also like the cute ones. But there’s something about a dog that looks like a hungover Ewok that pulls on the heartstrings.

And, at the risk of sounding like a cliche emo kid, I also really like winterscapes. Not the ones with the snow and the families sledding, but the ones of leafless trees and dead grass.

And graffiti. Not necessarily whole wall murals, although those are nice, but little scratched out things in paint marker someone did when they thought no one was looking.

Thanks for asking, lovely 💛

[infiniteglitterfall]

aces still aren't straightces

I made this button/shirt design back in 2016, before I even realized I was ace, and mostly forgot about it.

On Discord today, in a group chat with autistic ADHD aroace friends, I started catching up and asked why one of them was looking for alternative to the word "value." This led to the other friend saying, "Hi" and then "Everyone has value," which:

I had to put a stoned frog on.

And an oppressed toad.

And put them up in my Zazzle store. (After I figured out whether I had used RedBubble or Zazzle.)

Fun fact: there's no difference between frogs and toads.

They're like fruits and vegetables. There isn't an actual scientific category for a vegetable. Or a toad. We just call frogs "toads" when we think they're ugly or bumpy. But every toad has value.

I started out with this cute pastel sloth design that had butterflies and flowers around it. But I felt like it was still too Conventionally Acceptable.

You can still get it on a racerback tee, though. Or anything else your little heart desires.

Oppressed Toad looks great on a black shirt, imho.

Although I kinda like the idea of wearing a bright red v-neck version around, as a kind of warning: DO NOT IMPLY TO ME THAT SOME KINDA PEOPLE AREN'T AS GOOD AS YOU TODAY.

On the back, each of them has an exasperated frog yelling our follow-up thoughts: "optimizing for 'value' feels capitalistic because capitalism has co-opted even the concept of human worth"

Except that I put Stoned Frog on the back of a denim jacket.

Zazzle lets the customer put a design they like on pretty much anything now. You can be looking at a shirt with the stoned frog, and decide you'd rather have it on this brown, full-length apron.

So I could just leave the button up there. But I decided I wanted to make two obvious shirt options. One with red 3/4 length sleeves and a fun. .curly lower-case kind of font:

And another raglan 3/4 sleeve baseball shirt (or whatever you call them) with black sleeves and a super bold, all-caps font.

Plus the same font on a racerback tank top that can come with black piping outlining the neck and sleeves. Straps?

anyway I had fun lol

[yuukei-yikes]

you are on such a roll today. big love for everything thats going on in your brain :3 now who mains who in mario kart

hi thank you please feel free to send me 353985899 kageasks bc im in such a kagepro mood. anyways ayano: mario. always wants mario. no one dares calls her a normie for it bc she's probably the best player kido: shy guy or king boo seto: tanuki mario but also yoshi kano: waluigi because he wants to be funny otherwise just any of the ladies simply because they're cute mary: she keeps choosing the baby characters and complains when everyone tells her theyre ugly as hell. also she's fucking awful at the game she's always 12th with baby peach or some shit. also likes toadette momo: any of the koopalings but specifically roy. also donkey kong and waluigi takane: king boo or bowser shintaro: sighs. cat peach. hibiya: toad (im also a toad main btw. hi) or bowser jr haruka: he feels like a luigi guy but i feel like he rly likes any of the cute ones like toad or yoshi too hiyori: again any of the ladies. usually peach

[writernopal]

🍳Breakfast at Lexlar's🍳

I was looking through my old works and found this snippet from the very first piece I wrote specifically focused on Lexlar. For context, this story is told from the POV of a scholar who has an unfortunate run-in with Lexlar wherein he accidentally yeets her notes into the sea LOL. He takes her out to breakfast to make up for his transgressions but she's pretty sus of him. Enjoy!

WC: 793 CW: none

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Town. There be a place ‘at makes right good quiche an’ toad-in-a-’ole. Ye seem as ye need somethin’ ‘earty.”

I frowned. “You eat quiche?” 

“Aye.” He responded with a ghost of a smile on his lips. 

“Really?” 

He laughed. “Aye. I be a pirate no a savage, Myrna.” 

“They’re one in the same to most people…”

“We are no all bad.” 

We walked just a few more minutes when we finally arrived at a humble-looking eatery. So he was telling the truth… He opened the door for me with a smile that looked genuine enough. I went inside, determining that he smiled too easily. Was that part of the act? Probably. I had to keep my guard up. He carefully brushed past me. Was it normal for lizards to run that hot? He was more an ambling furnace than a man… I had to admit it was welcome on a cold spring morning like this one, but I had to keep my head on straight. I couldn’t even begin to guess what this guy was capable of.

“Two top!”

I nearly lept out of my skin. Why did he have to yell?!

A man poked his head out from the kitchen tucked toward the back of the room. “Ah! Welcome back, sir! Anywhere you like!” 

“Thank ye!" He looked at me. "This way.” 

Gods, he was smiling again… I followed him quietly as he led us to a table that was out on the porch of the restaurant. I pulled out the chair on the left and sat down. He took the one on the right, but the way he dropped into the chair made it seem like he wanted to punish it for supporting his weight. Or maybe he was just unaware of how big he was. Perhaps that was more plausible as he didn’t look at all worried that his seat might give under his massive frame. He pulled a pipe out of some pocket, stuffed it with tobacco, then struck a match to light it. His face became momentarily serious as he sucked on the end of it a few times, then exhaled a sigh and a plume of smoke with it.

“Do ye smoke?” He asked, offering me his pipe.

“No.”

“Ah, do ye mind?” 

“No, go ahead.” 

He nodded and puffed on it impatiently as he craned his neck, presumably to look for someone to take our order. The man from the kitchen appeared moments later with a small pad and a tiny pencil in hand. 

“What can I get you?” 

“The usual, Carlton. An’ ye?”

“Umm, do you have yogurt?” I asked.

“Yessum. Fruit and nuts with it alright?” 

“Only if there are no peanuts. I’m allergic.”

“I’ll bring you just fruit then. Anything else?” 

“No, that’s quite alright.”

“Brin’ a kettle o’ tea an’ a plate o’ eggs an’ sausage.”

“Very good, sir.” The man called Carlton said before leaving.

“Those better not be for me.”

“‘Ow do ye think I keep a body as so?” The lizard asked with a wink, gesturing vaguely at himself. 

I frowned. “What’s your name?”

“What be yers?” He asked with yet another smile, “Ye nay seem ta be bothered by bein’ called Myrna. Be it ‘at I guessed right?” 

“No. But I won’t tell you mine until you tell me yours.” 

He laughed loudly, then leaned back in his chair. “Ye drive a hard deal, Myrna. What name do I look ta ‘ave?”

“Alex.” I responded. I hated that name, but he had chosen an ugly one for me.

“Alex, ey?” He puffed more smoke with a crooked grin on his face. “Aye ‘en. I be Alex. It be a pleasure.” 

Before I could respond, the man returned with our food and my eyes nearly dropped out of my skull. He had my yogurt in a small goblet decorated with fruit, and the plate of scrambled eggs, sausage, and tea that Alex had asked for, but what the man behind him carried was far more shocking. This must be ‘The Usual’. A whole quiche, two toad-in-a-holes, a mountain of eggs, several thick slices of bacon, toast, and a few slices of ham. 

“Anything else I can get you both?” 

“What do ye think, Myrna? Be ‘at ‘nough for the pair o’ ‘ungry folks we be?” He asked with a wink.

“It’s almost too much…”

He said something to the servers in some lizard language and the three of them shared a laugh. Carlton gave him a hearty pat on the shoulder and must have teased Alex if the look on his face was anything to go by. Anyway, he laughed and waved them both away after handing them the gold for the food.

[tom--22--felton]

The stuff the other anon said kinda makes sense no offense. This isn’t recent but I’ve been following your blog for quite some time and even though you claim you’re not fond of R, you clearly attacked some fans who expressed their dislikes for her. Even calling anons bitter and jealous etc etc. Let’s be honest, she isn’t exactly a likeable person which even you know and not everyone will say that subtly. Idk her personally but the videos i saw her in just emits a desperate vibe. For example the recent one at the restaurant, the way she behaved while making the sake bomb was so rude, i believe another anon pointed that out as well and another one at somewhere (I don’t remember) she’s jumping like a toad. I mean you can be out in public performing normal things without acting like a literal monkey? What I’m saying is you don’t need to be hostile towards fans just to defend her, you’re Tom’s fan. Not hers.

I'm Tom's fan, that's right. But I'm too old to think that calling other females names will make them miraculously disappear from a certain male's life. Calling her a seamonster/seahorse/ugly/whatever else doesn't insult her, because she most likely doesn't even see this. In my opinion it only lowers your own dignity and yes makes it look like you are petty, shallow and jealous (i use "you" here in general, so please don't take it personally).

[yzashaven]

i aired out a 45 year old woman’s business cause she called me & my family inbreds and im gonna send the paragraph here so yall can see

“i don’t know who the fuck you think you are but i can tell you what i know you look like. bitch you need to be on my 600lbs life nah actually they need to make a show for you called my 800lbs life 😂 when you walk so much fast food wrappers come out your shit cause you never clean ur yeast maggot infested dick cause ur so fat you cant even see it, the only way somebody would fuck you is if they were so desperate or bet over 200 dollars, ill let you off on a warning cause i frankly don’t nt wanna even be associated at the risk that ill get a disease from even messaging your inbred looking ass but i already pulled up ur address,ur full name,ur daddy’s name, ur grandma’s name, ur momma’s name so i best never catch u talking to me like that over trying to be a decent person who only fucked with you to be nice cause theres no way ur that bad…by choice 😬you can keep ur dirty ass friends cause you both deserve each other especially with how yo look like bigfoot. you look like the hookers i see on the side of the street who got their whole coochie hanging out cause thats the only way to attract a man bruh with ur fucked up teeth like what you need to message is ur damn dentist & doctor to get rid of just ur whole body. i got a genuine question is that like a fashion choice? theres no way you look like that and don’t got down syndrome 😕 you have like 4 chins like a whale and even the body of a whale, you looking like you eat the whole ihop buffet. your face is like a toad especially your eyes…even ur eyes are tryna escape they more out than ur pp 😭 who would ever like ur ugly ass anyways? “

FOUR CHINS TOOK ME OUTTTT I CAN'T THAT'S ONE NASTY PARAGRAPH 😭😭