#and if they DO perform wake up it's a whole separate problem

[wintaerbaer]

all i'm saying is that if ateez doesn't do wake up at coachella, i'm going to commit a crime

[fd139]

Joo Jaekyung’s shoulder condition & Kim Dan’s sleep issue parallel:

I know for some of you episode 67 was disappointing, but I just want to give you another point of view!

(I’ve posted this on twitter this week, so I thought I’ll share with Tumblr as well)

Let’s start with Jaekyung; on ep.14 is when we saw the first time that JK might have a shoulder injury. While he’s training before his match, he’s stiffer than usual and is rolling his shoulder (typical move when we are injured there). Then, on ep.16 Kim Dan shows concern about JK medical condition and want to understand by going for JK’s check-up.

But due to the shark loans and all those shenanigans, we get that medical appointment only on ep.27 the doctor speaks directly to KD that “[JK’s] joints are under far too much stress and his shoulder, especially, is in bad shape.”

The doctor states two things;

1) Jaekyung is rough with his body

2) he’s been performing through the pain.

So Kim Dan realizes that on ep.15 when JK said he lied about his shoulder, he actually LIED about that lie! Back to ep.27, then both the doctor and Kim Dan are left with a question; Why does he push himself this hard?

Kim Dan tells JK to rest at least one day and JK reaction was “No way, that time is precious.” KD then offers to organize his rest day, and they agree on that. During that day, they eventually have sex in the pool (ep.28).

On ep.29, after KD wakes up, they have a sweet moment in front of the TV just discussing, and KD gets to know a little bit more JK. One thing he learns is that JK got sleep problem.

Kim Dan then thinks “This whole time, he’s had insomnia… we sleep separately, so I didn’t realize.” Which means JK’s mind and body are way MORE exhausted than what we all thought he was. Imagine the amount of physical training he puts himself through, without having rest days, and not sleeping well?

Of course he won’t heal his shoulder in those conditions, of course he’d have a shitty temper (not only, but let’s say it doesn’t help) I don’t know how he had been functioning all this time to be honest!

Then KD tells him that, and JK replies “exhaustion doesn’t matter. Not when you want to stay the champion.” That there will always be ppl who wants to take his title, waiting for the occasion. “What do you think will happen if I just stay still? Relaxing means losing.”

And then, JK says something that I think it’s the softest request he had ever told Kim Dan: “So doc, this resting one day a week thing. Don’t push it too hard. Alright?” We know his vocabulary and tones are very rude and harsh, I wish we could actually HEAR how he said this.

On ep.30 Kim Dan says that since that day (ep.28 flashback) something feels different. No kidding. They have been intimated emotionally for the first time, not only in the pool, but in front of that TV too. I wish we could have JK’s thoughts in those moments…

After the jelly episodes with Heesung, let’s get back into the shoulder injury issue. Someone from the hospital sold the information and is now in the news, which is why JK needs to have a match to prove he’s still the champion (ep.35&36)

Now, we know JK needed to lose weight in order to fight Dominic in his category. And it was very demanding for his body! As the doctor had said, JK is very rough with his body, he must have been very exhausted doing all that.

When Kim Dan saw how he looked so weak due to the weight loss, he thought: “I can’t believe he has to keep doing this… I hate to see him like this.” And looks away, which makes JK very upset “You’re pitying me? This is hard enough as it is, without you making it worse.” (ep.37)

I wonder if he gets this mad because it’s KD or if anyone else would make him this upset? Let’s not forget this is not long after Heesung told JK that “you caught feelings for Kim Dan” and JK went on TOTAL denying mode. He started to avoid Kim Dan, getting distant and all. So I’d like to think it’s particularly KD that got him mad because he doesn’t want KD to see him “weak”.

Then the aphrodisiac shake happens (ep.38&39) and JK wins the match (ep.40) and says that KD is “one of my own.” Don’t tell me he says that just because he was able to eat normally after his weight loss? Naaah, he won’t admit it, but KD’s clumsy confession was for something.

Kim Dan realizes his feelings for Jaekyung on ep.41

Let’s move forward all the emotional rollercoaster and get to ep.52 after JK tie match with Jumin. When coach asks the doctor if JK will need surgery he immediately says “Hell no. If I have surgery… I’ll be out for a long time. Not gonna happen.”

Of course, this is not Jaekyung to decide, but it shows just how his aspiration is on top of everything. This is beyond being stubborn. Once he finally accepted to do the surgery, and Yoon-Gu reveals and confirms that Kim Dan wasn’t a spy,

JK and coach get into an argument and what I find interesting is that coach says: “Don’t you feel anything for the person who’s been caring for you all this time?” I searched, and KD never said out loud that he worried or cared for JK. You might say it was obvious, but how could it be for JK?

It was Kim Dan’s job to treat JK, it was Kim Dan’s job to make sure his body was in good shape, it was his responsibility, when he did something extra, he would use the gratitude card on why he was doing this or that. JK wouldn’t know he cared, actually, he would mostly think “he’s just doing his job.” Which brings me to the bday gift.

When sober Dan tried to speak up his feelings, he backoff and said it’s to show his gratitude.

Now, ep.45 is a devastating one. Because after my re-reading, I understand better JK’s personality. So far, Kim Dan haven’t left JK’s side, despite how badly he was treated. KD until then felt useful, in his job and relationship with JK. But KD had this mindset “I’m just a tool/employee” (we don’t blame him)

And JK? He cared for KD, I’ll have to make another thread regarding this one, but he cared and worried in his own way about KD. And the scene with the gift is one of them.

What is interesting is how curious and calm was JK when he unwrapped the present until he questions how KD could afford to buy this gift. Because he knew the money wasn’t coming from him. When JK puts together what KD had been going through lately, stressing him and wondering what KD was doing during the night, his first reaction is great! He’s not upset, he’s stunned? And how does JK shows he cares and worried about KD? Anger and rudeness.

Ep.45 when it clicks, he says “hey, Kim Dan, who asked you to buy this for me?”

Reminder that JK doesn’t care about physical possession and what JK really meant was: “I don’t want you putting yourself out like that. I didn’t ask you to get hurt and leave in the middle of the night for hours.” But this is too gentle I guess and in the nose…

That’s when KD tells him he believes what he did was not wrong, and he only wanted to express his feelings (gratitude). After this unclear confession, JK is enraged and is interesting what he says:

“I hired you as my physical therapist. What makes you think I wanted you to get me this piece of crap?” I was so shocked the first reading, that I missed the subtility of what JK was saying. He brought up the trinket and the physical therapist job. Not Kim Dan’s feelings or the jinx job.

Why the trinket? Because this is JK not wanting KD to go through trouble for unnecessary reasons.

Why the physical therapist job? Because JK believes that what’s keeping KD near him is a well-paying job, you could even say that is KD dedication to his physical therapist job (you can tell he likes it)

Jaekyung doesn’t think KD has an interest on his sulky cat persona. “he’s just doing his job.”

Which was JK mistake at the end, because as soon KD felt useless as a physical therapist, he left. No money or feelings could hold him, if Dan wasn’t useful, he was not needed. We can already see KD changes on ep.53 when he just leaves coldly JK after sex.

But JK accepted doing surgery for his shoulder, and for the same way I believe he’ll come to terms with his feelings towards Kim Dan. Jaekyung put his body through hell to win, he’s doing the same thing with his feelings, denying the truth so he stays the strongest. I think his shoulder injury is an allegory. After what he considered losing is when he took action to heal. I’m afraid he’d have to lose KD (or something similar) to realize his feelings.

As for Kim Dan’s situation in S2, he’s reacting the same way as JK in S1 regarding his shoulder. Denying he needs help, he can take care of himself, says is not as bad as the doctor says etc. But here’s my take, I believe Dan is more stubborn than Jaekyung.

I cannot tell the exactitude of the allegory of Kim Dan’s condition since we don’t have his diagnostic. The doctor said “the underlying cause could be the alcohol, though it might also be psychological.”

However, what I can say is that since in S1 it was KD that was responsible for JK’s physical conditions, S2 it’s JK who’s going to take care of KD physical condition and make sure he’s doing his treatment. Tables have switched. So far in S2, it’s also KD who had initiated sex, not JK.

But when in S1 KD was dedicated to do his job and JK was the one who wanted Dan to treat him, in S2 KD doesn’t want JK helps.

On last episode (67) after KD takes the bottle of alcohol, I find the conversation interesting. When KD says add this and that on my debt since you’re not doing this from kindness, JK starts with “What are you talking about? You think this is about money—”

I really WHISH Kim Dan didn’t interrupt Jaekyung here! I don’t think JK would have added all the expenses into KD debt if he didn’t bring it up. Kim Dan says that JK wants to fix him just so he can have sex with him to pay in full his debt and JK is angry with this statement:

“I’m doing this ‘cause you can’t even take basic care of yourself! You’re making everyone around you worry!” and Kim Dan says out loud what we wanted JK to admit too: “are you saying you brought me here because you’re worried about me?”

I don’t blame JK’s silence here. I bet next chapter or the one after, JK is going to replay this moment in his head and ask himself if he worries about KD. And I believe KD hadn’t expect JK’s reaction, so he didn’t want to hear an answer and decided to not give him a chance to say Yes or No by answering for him and assuming: “Yeah, that’s what I thought…” looking away.

And once KD offers having sex, JK is outraged “Why the hell would you even bring that up right now?” and KD reaction was to get on his knees and says he wants to settle this way. Jaekyung is furious, he knows something is off, but this is what they had agree a long time ago. He can’t refuse KD’s will to decrease his debt.

My guess is that Kim Dan’s condition is psychological. Kim Dan’s psychology condition in S2 parallel with Jaekyung’s body condition in S1. JK was exhausted, injured, but overworked his body until he reached the point he couldn’t omit surgery. KD is not helping his own wellbeing the same way JK did on S1, so this is why he’s using JK to destroy himself emotionally.

I believe next time (if not, probably the one after) JK is going to refuse. Because there’s no satisfaction, at this point it’s Kim Dan using JK. I think that’s what is going to bring the argument they need in order to burst what they have in their chest.

[elfhunk]

it's so funny that this stupid tumblr blog is paying a key role in the re-socialization of my fucked up brain.

below the cut because it's a sentimentally hopeful bummer but still indeed a bummer about some mental health brain stuff.

like. most of you do not actually... know me? i am making no effort to separate this blog from my actual identity.

but you do not have the context of me working my ass off for four years in art school, hitting an art block so severe that it sent me into a tail dive so severe i did not draw for several years, to my life being blown up and pieced back together at least three times now. it was a perpetual cycle of adrenaline fueled sprinting and cataclysmic disaster that i intentionally hid from everyone until it was too late.

like. i literally don't know how to draw anymore. not consistently, anyway. people joke about not using their degrees but i have taken it to an unexpected extreme. my friends have honestly (very nicely) begun teasing me whenever i say that i am bad at drawing because of how patently untrue it is.

anyway, if any of you have been wondering why i'm so delightful?

it's because something is deeply wrong with me, in a way that i am only starting to understand recently.

i now know that i am (probably, adult diagnosis is complicated!) autistic, i know that i have ADHD, and i know that i have experienced certifiably CPTSD level trauma. my therapist even confirmed for me that these things in combination do in fact result in me meeting diagnostic criteria for BPD, which is fun. did you know that entire diagnosis is under contention? it's a whole thing!

anyway, i learned that there was something deeply fundamentally destructive about the ways i was using tools like twitter or tumblr.

when i was using social media ages... what, 13-25? i was effectively a roiling ball of overstimulated receptors seeking to be everything to everyone in the desperate attempt to have my existence acknowledged. i saw that art that i made for myself didn't get me attention, so i stopped making it. i became a terrifyingly self-critical ball of nastiness that saw no point in doing anything unless it was perfect.

i saw no point in existing unless i was perfect. when i stopped making art, it began to bleed into the rest of my existence. my job performance had to be perfect. my etiquette and attitude had to be perfect. my body had to be perfect. my skin had to be perfect. my hair had to be perfect. if a flaw was identified, it was buried immediately.

this whole "delightful prince charming" shtick i've ended up adopting just sort of gradually became the safest way i knew how to navigate the world. it was a character i got extremely good at playing. it was turning into a perfectly lovely way of living life exclusively in service to other people. everyone thought it was so admirable and good of me. but then the gnawing evidence of my flaws continued to build up again. and everything blew up again.

because, dear reader? this is a terrible character to try and occupy in all waking hours of your life. the mask is going to fall eventually.

so, that brings us to this tumblr. this silly little place.

i am 28 now, and things are very different. i still have a lot of problems to figure out. i still have emotional flashbacks of varying intensity to an age where i am not even verbal and do not have words to articulate what i want or need. it's wild. i didn't even know that could happen. don't get traumatized as a baby, y'all.

but i do know what man i am trying to be. i do know that people really like that man. he's cool and interesting and sexy as fuck. i need to afford him more space to be imperfect, because i am the only one expecting perfection from him.

so that's why i am kind of digging this blog. i still get to play that character. i still get to enjoy existing in this weird way that i've carved out for myself. but i don't need to obsess over it being perfect all the time. i don't have to care what you think of me. i don't know you.

you're a goddamn stranger passing in the train station.

and i am a silly little horse doing a dance. because damn this silly little horse loves to dance. and he's doing it for himself.

[sceneohscene]

⭐ Alternate Universe ⭐

High School

Harvey is the golden boy of the football team. Donna’s the sharp, confident redhead who shines on stage. She might’ve fallen first — but he never stood a chance. A slow-burn, multi-chapter love story about opposites attracting, hearts colliding, and the magic of first love.

Bad review

When Donna stumbled upon a scathing review of her latest performance, she did what any self-respecting actress with a sharp tongue would do — she challenged the critic to see the show in person. Harvey, a journalist who couldn’t care less about theater, showed up out of pure stubbornness. He didn’t expect to spend two hours completely captivated by the redhead on stage — or to be thinking about her long after the curtain closed.

Bodyguard

Donna is Hollywood’s rising star — beautiful, brilliant, and constantly in the spotlight. Harvey is the hardened bodyguard assigned to protect her, a man who’s long stopped believing in fairy tales. The moment they meet, something clicks. Something dangerous. It’s instant. It’s mutual. And it’s completely off-limits. A multi-chapter fic exploring the slow-burning, forbidden relationship between an actress on the rise and the man sworn to keep her safe — and stay away from her heart.

Pearson Hardman vs. Skadden

After one unforgettable night, Harvey doesn’t follow through. He returns to Pearson Hardman alone, leaving Donna to start fresh at Skadden. They try to move on — new desks, new cases, new lives — but something’s off. It’s not just the partnership they miss. It’s each other. Fate, of course, isn’t done with them yet. A multi-chapter fic where Harvey and Donna go their separate ways… only to realize that some connections don’t fade with distance — or time.

Second Chance

Harvey is the single father of a teen boy who is trying to balance his professional and personal life, but who feels that he is slowly losing it. Donna is a recently divorced high school professor trying to rebuild her life after a disastrous marriage. As the lawyer doesn't know what to do anymore, alone with his problems, he never thought he would find support and comfort from his son's teacher, and yet, at thirty-seven and thirty-four, the two adults' lives are about to take a whole turn. Or, Harvey falls hard for his son's teacher, Donna succumbs to the charms of the arrogant lawyer, and both find in each other what they thought they had lost long ago: indefinable love.

You have all my heart

After suffering a heart attack in court, Harvey wakes up in the hospital, without understanding why he was there. The moment he opens his eyes, he finds himself face to face with the doctor who saved his life: a gorgeous redhead with sparkling eyes and an incredible smile. For both of them, it was love at first sight, but how can Harvey win the redhead's heart when she doesn't want to be involved with her patient?

Missing piece

Harvey and Donna meet at Heathrow Airport and, after their flight is cancelled due to snow, the two adults find themselves spending Christmas together. In one day and one night, the two strangers wander the streets of London, knowing that their story will only last two days but unable to stop themselves from falling madly in love with each other.

Life Changing

At a college party, Donna and Harvey hooked up — drunk, reckless, in a bathroom — and woke up the next morning with no memory of what really happened. Almost three years later, Harvey is a senior partner at Pearson Hardman. Donna? The stunning new COO he’s meeting for the very first time... or so he thinks. It’s instant. Electric. But as sparks fly, so do buried memories — and one life-altering truth that will change everything. A multi-chapter fic about fate, forgotten nights, and a connection that runs deeper than either of them could have imagined.

Bullet

Called on a mission, Harvey Specter, a hostage negotiator, rushed to the site to quickly get to work. If everything went well and he reached the end of the mission pretty fast, in a split second the room was plunged into chaos as a gunshot rang out and the body of a redhead collapsed on the floor. He had never failed a mission, but this time, he did. Guilt-ridden, he spent his days at the victim's bedside doing everything he could to help her get better, falling madly with her in the process, without realizing that this gunshot had just changed his life forever.

The Princess and the Knight

Donna Paulsen, princess and sole heiress of the Paulsen dynasty, met Harvey Specter's gaze during a ceremony, a simple inhabitant of the kingdom without any title. If it was love at first sight for both of them, the two teenagers only met a few years later when the young man was engaged in the royal guard. After yet another ceremony, as the young princess was about to be attacked in the dark hallway, Harvey rushed to save her, elevating him to the rank of personal guard of the young heiress to the throne. Despite their different ranks and the impossibility of being together, the two young adults fell madly in love with each other, experiencing what love was without worrying about tomorrow. If the secret lovers lived their idyl hidden for months, the day the king announced the marriage of his daughter to another royal, the world of the two young people collapsed.

More than any sacrifice in the world

Fresh out of Yale, Donna arrived on the set of a new movie to participate for the soundtrack, and, if she was charmed by her surroundings as soon as she got there, it was especially for the protagonist that she fell for: Harvey Specter. For three months, the two young stars lived the love story secretly and passionately, knowing that, at the end of the shooting, they wouldn't have many choices but to leave each other to resume their own lives. A year later, when they met again for the first broadcast of their movie, they would never have thought that their brief adventure would have had such an impact on their future.

Best friend's brother

Donna and Marcus had been best friends for almost eight years, and if the redhead liked him at first sight, it was especially for the older brother that she fell for. Aged seventeen and twenty-one now, as the two young people found themselves one night at a party organized by Marcus, the redhead looking at her crush from afar as both of them were talking about the young girl's insecurities, she would never have thought to hear what he was going to propose: kissing her to show her how to do it. After a brief hesitation, she accepted, not realizing that this kiss would change everything for both of them.

Little Diva

As Harvey was about to take on his next case, he never thought he'd face the person he hated the most: the redhead who broke his heart when he was a teenager. Ten years after the love at first sight between the two young people, if the lawyer still resented her, it was nothing compared to all the anger Donna had for him. Despite that, both of them couldn’t help but feel their hearts racing the second their eyes landed on each other, as if this last decade had not changed the feelings they had for their first love.

Writer's block

Donna Paulsen, a talented young novelist, is struggling to find inspiration for her third book. Frustrated and on the verge of giving up, she takes her best friend's advice and changes her surroundings in hopes of reigniting her imagination. A few days later, she heads to Vermont, renting a peaceful cottage in the middle of nowhere. But the peace and quiet quickly start to drive her crazy, so she decides to settle in a bar to get some work done. If she thought that this new environment would shake loose her creativity, she didn’t expect to find inspiration in the form of the sexy bartender, Harvey Specter, who catches her eye — and her heart — at first sight.

Dancing with the Stars

Harvey Specter, quarterback for the Giants, sees the end of his career approaching. Though he has no idea what the future holds, he decides to follow his agent's advice and participates in Dancing with the Stars to start preparing for his career transition. Initially not very enthusiastic about the idea, he changes his mind the day he sees who his partner will be for the upcoming weeks: Donna Paulsen, the magnificent dancer who captures his heart at first sight. While both of them thought they were just taking part in a TV show, neither of them expected to be so deeply affected by the experience as their encounters spark a real fire inside both of them.

Professor Specter

Donna, a young legal secretary, gets accepted to Columbia Law School and decides to celebrate it with a colleague. But when her friend ditches her, Donna finds herself alone at the bar — until the sexiest man on earth, Harvey, walks in. Instantly captivated by her, they flirt until they end up sharing an intense night together. The next morning, Harvey leaves without a word, and what they both thought was a one-night fling turns into something unexpected when they later meet again at university: Donna in the lecture hall and Harvey as the professor.

Nice to meet you, new neighbor

At twenty-three, Donna arrived in New York with dreams in her head and stars in her eyes, but her neighbor, Harvey, quickly shattered her vision of perfection. Between his parade of girls, the mess in the hallway, and the loud music at night, she soon realized things wouldn’t work out between them. Despite her crush, she decided to reject him, bruising the lawyer’s ego. But determined to redeem himself in her eyes, Harvey would do anything — even if it meant falling in love with her.

And... Action

After finally taking the leap and confessing his feelings to Donna, Harvey never expected his life to change this way. After the DA’s, the two of them became a couple, but things took an unexpected turn when Donna's career took off in Hollywood. As Harvey stepped into the role of the perfect husband to a rising star, he found himself facing the challenges of paparazzi, long-distance, unpredictable hours — and more recently, the uncomfortable reality of seeing his wife’s almost naked body on screen. Unprepared for what fame would bring into their relationship, Harvey now has to navigate the complexities of love, jealousy, and the harsh spotlight in ways he never could have imagined, while also finding himself more involved than he ever thought he would be.

Record Store

One afternoon, seeking a bit of comfort after moving to New York, Harvey accidentally walks into a small record store, hoping to find some familiarity and reassuring nostalgia after leaving Harvard and his old life behind. As soon as he steps through the door, he sees a stunning redhead who instantly captures his attention. Lost in her eyes and smile, Harvey loses his words and his sense of reality as, unknowingly, she reveals the emptiness he’s been feeling, showing him that sometimes, just one person can change everything.

Double Life

Paula Agard, daughter of a billionaire, had everything in life except the perfect man — until she met Harvey. She fell hard for the lawyer, only to quickly realize that he had used her and never felt the same. Fueled by anger, she tricked him into marrying her for revenge. But years later, still hoping to save their relationship, she’s shocked when she finally opens her eyes. The truth is, her husband wasn’t just hating her — he was leading a double life, and she hadn’t noticed a thing for years.

Love at Altitude

Harvey, a pilot, uses his job as an escape from his anxieties and the weight of everyday life, while Donna, a theater actress, travels the world in search of adventure and thrills. During a flight from London to New York, their eyes meet, and it’s love at first sight for both of them. Over the course of eight hours in the air, they begin to question their values and beliefs: Harvey, who thought solitude was the key to happiness, and Donna, who seeks excitement without realizing that love might be what she’s truly searching for. Though it feels irrational, they fall deeply in love, proving that sometimes the most unexpected connections are the ones that feel the most real.

Heartlines

Harvey was the brilliant, icy surgeon everyone feared — distant, demanding, and untouchable — and if he had always refused to work with interns, when Jessica forced him to take one, he expected nothing but trouble. If he was ready to make this intern's life a living hell, he hadn't counted on the beautiful redhead who would slowly drive him crazy. Little by little, the talented and confident young intern forced Harvey to open up, challenging years of beliefs shaped by the demons of his past — and making him feel something he never thought possible again.

The Healing Path

Harvey Specter thought it was a ridiculous punishment. Just because he’d gone behind Jessica’s back and acted immature, now he had to coach a group of out-of-control kids? It felt excessive, and he had no interest in dealing with it. But when a fiery redhead and her son entered his life unexpectedly, Harvey found himself facing challenges that were more than just about managing a baseball team. What started as a forced task quickly turned into a life-altering experience, teaching him more about responsibility, love, and family than he ever anticipated — and showing him that the hardest lessons sometimes come from the most unexpected places.

[glade-constellation]

I just finished catching up on TSAMS and boy do I have some thoughts.

I know the Sun and Moon Show is absolutely terrible system representation, but I can’t deny that Moon’s entire character right now feels very similar in some ways to how it feels to be an alter in a system. A new alter specifically. Some alters split remembering things, but some split with no memories whatsoever. They just wake up one day and they’re in a body and that is just so confusing and disorienting. There’s people around you who are saying they’re your family and telling you who you are and how you act, but you just don’t remember anything their telling you and that’s terrifying. You try to remember things and you try to act “correctly”, but acting that way doesn’t feel right and those memories aren’t coming back. Every time you act “differently”, your family, who you’re slowly reconnecting with, gives you these looks and act like they don’t know you and suddenly you’re questioning everything again. The only difference for Moon is that he doesn’t get to switch out with another alter, it’s just him in his head. There’s no rest from this feeling.

The problem — the problem we all saw coming with the memory loss — is that Moon won’t take any sort of accountability for his past actions. As much as he wants to think he didn’t do those things, it was still him. He still did all those things. Moon may have lost his memory of actually doing them, but that doesn’t mean he can push off the consequences.

Going back to the system comparison, there’s a thing called system accountability. When one alter fronts the body and does something, the entire system is accountable for those actions. That alter may have been the only alter to actually perform those actions, but alters aren’t actually completely separate people sharing a body. Alters are just extremely developed parts of a whole person. You have to hold yourself accountable for your actions, even a different part of you perform them. Sometimes, you may not even remember doing them. That doesn’t matter. If you hurt someone, you need to deal with the consequences.

Once again, Moon isn’t a system and this comparison won’t work with him completely, but I personally feel this comparison is close enough to take into consideration. New Moon may not have performed the actions himself, but he is still a part of Moon and still needs to be held accountable for them. He may not remember acting out anything, but just because his memory of it isn’t there doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Moon needs to own up to his mistakes, especially because he does know what past him did. He can see how it effected Sun, and I think that’s actually why he doesn’t want to admit to himself that he is very similar to the “old” Moon, but denying it is only causing more conflict.

Sun is currently being super hypocritical, but Moon is being just as bad.

(Quick note, I have DID. This isn’t a random comparison, I have personal experience with what I wrote. Amnesia is a bitch but you can’t blame all your problems on being mentally ill.)

[thessalian]

Thess vs Damage Assessment

Right. Brief break before errands that need to be run before the overtime, and deciding whether I should put in the effort on dinner before putting in more overtime or use it as another break. Because ... okay, this is getting to be a thing and it's not just that we're busy.

I mean, that's part of it. We have more doctors reporting than we've ever had, and today they've done over three hundred reports between them, and they're not even fucking done yet. Part of the reason I'm having break now is that if I go back to it after 6pm, the doctors should have finished and I'll know what I'm dealing with. Still, even at this particular stage, I can tell this week is going to mean a lot of overtime.

Especially if the new girl keeps on as she is. As a matter of curiosity, I went through the archives of stuff we've actually typed, mostly to see how many I got through today between 11:00-16:30 (100, if you were curious - that's including the time it took to start sorting out two separate hardware problems on the doctors' end, a couple of flagging up of places where dictation was just not up to par, and the half-hour digging referred cases out of the system to email to the relevant hospital). I happened to notice the new girl's name in the queue because I was going by Last User to find my own, and happened to hit New Girl in the scroll. Want to know how many she managed between 09:00-16:30? Forty.

Fucking forty, she did, in the same time as I managed a hundred. With other shit I needed to get done. And each and every one of them was under two minutes. How? How the fuck is she still working here if she can't pick up the damn pace?!? I can't even face looking at Temp's numbers. I just ... can't.

I was hoping that I could pull maybe an hour, hour and a half of overtime per day and make a reasonable dent, but the next couple of days are going to be 2.5 hours minimum, probably three or more. Because neither Temp nor New Girl have any sense of urgency and Scruffman doesn't want to push them because of that whole thing about him being massively non-confrontational. Hell, he's been doing some himself, mostly when I'm not here, because they drown when I'm not here.

If I don't get the most beautiful performance review this year, I'm going to murder somebody.

Right. Now I have to go out into the cold and dark and pick up my prescription, and also some greaseproof paper, tin foil, and clingfilm. Because I did all manner of shopping yesterday and forgot those three very basic essentials. Because fibro fog and stress.

Oh, I should take out the garbage on my way out.

Heeeeeeeeelp. I swear I do nothing fun anymore. I work, I cook, I become loaf, I manage maybe a half-hour of video game in the morning to wake myself up a little, and that's been it for weeks. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it to the holidays like this.

Right. Stalling. Off with the comfy Foozies, on with the shoes, let's go.

[stanleyisworking]

MOE Pt. 5: Lower Secondary Music Classes - Again, but Guitar!

At this point, I was slowly easing into my role as a Music Teaching Intern at Admiralty Secondary School.

I got used to waking up at 5.30am and heading out the door before anyone else.

I got used to making small talk with the bubbly senior teacher sitting beside my desk, listening to her share about the extra duties she has to juggle besides teaching, and her motherly nature of constantly telling me to eat because I packed my schedule more and more each day.

I got used to walking around the school corridors with my head held high, coming into my role as a teacher and not a student.

The kids have gotten used to my presence around campus as well and some of them have started to greet me in the hallways. Hearing "Goodmorning Mr Stanley!" feels kind of sweet.

Here are more photos from different days of teaching keyboard skills!

On a side note, remember Teacher W's class? The class that I felt would be challenging to build a rapport with?

After the first few times of consistently trying out the communication technique I mentioned, they started to open up to me as well. I would make a whole separate post about it, but I would probably go on and on.

To sum up, even though they were classified as the "rowdier" and "unmotivated" class by the teachers, I grew fond of them. While I went through my routine of joining their english/literature lessons and sitting at the back, some of them asked me on what a certain word meant - and I was flattered they trusted me enough to provide them english tips when they knew I was only here as a music teacher. When I identified a problem kid, I asked him to sit behind me at the back of the class and we took a look at the english worksheet together. This made them extra motivated, I guess due to the special attention I was paying to them - and their form teacher, Teacher W, did not mind at all and allowed me to integrate myself into her class however I felt fit.

This goes to show that every kid wants to learn.

In my opinion, the joy of learning needs to be cultivated rather than forced - and my approach throughout the past few days was to get to know them genuinely, rather than ask them questions about their studies or give them a specific agenda to accomplish. Of course, this was easier because they were not the kids I took for music and I did not have to push a specific lesson plan. Even so, I believe genuine conversations with students will always be helpful in their education journey. I am proud of Teacher W's class and wish them the best in their N levels!

Moving on, this post will re-focus on my efforts in conducting the classes I was tasked to teach.

Previously, I wrote about teaching keyboard skills to lower secondary levels. In this post, I will be focusing on guitar lessons instead. To clarify, keyboard skills were for Secondary 1 and guitar were for Secondary 2. Hence, this would be a whole different batch of Secondary 2 students that I have yet to meet.

One sentence summary? "My mentor threw me on the spot to give an impromptu performance."

And that was how I introduced myself to the new batch of students.

Honestly, even though I consider myself a trained performer, performing in a formal classroom setting for kids who might think you're too old or too "cringe" made me so nervous. I panicked and picked the most (hopefully) well-known song from Taylor Swift. Everyone loves Taylor Swift, right? I hope so!

When I captured their attention with "Blank Space", I quickly switched to "Love Story" and the kids started laughing. Laughter was a good sign, I thought to myself. It meant they recognized the song!

In the end, it wasn't so bad. The kids were now interested in what they could potentially do with the guitar and I caught onto why my mentor told me to perform for them first as a self-introduction.

The excitement afterward was great, though! A lot of the boys were lining up to get me to help tune their guitars so they could hurry up and play, and the girls were more reserved and shy, but asked my mentor for the same assistance as well.

Guitar lessons were off to a good start!

However, there were a few problems.

As the lesson progressed and I went through my slides of the day, I realized their initial motivation started to wane.

"So many chords to learn."

"I don't want to learn this song!"

"It's too painful."

Were a lot of the comments I heard and I had to bring back order in the classroom a few times. I have learned from my private teaching experience that kids tend to want the fastest way and easiest way to learn things, and they might give up quickly if they don't see results or realize how much effort they need to put in. Especially for music, not everyone was as passionate about it. I had to put myself in their shoes that music to a lot of them was just a form of entertainment and they had bigger problems to worry about such as their math exam.

How do I make this easier for them while still achieving my lesson objectives? I needed to make it through the slides that my mentor handed over to me. We needed to cover at least a few chords based on the syllabus, but they were already struggling with one.

Solutions:

Break it down even further. My principal study teacher at LASALLE, Dr Wong, would always break it down to the most minuscule detail - even if we had to repeat a word or vowel a few times. How can I translate this to guitar? Perhaps I could literally "break down" the class into groups? They were sitting in rows, so I could get one row to learn C, the other to learn G, so on and so forth until we could play a whole progression together.

There are a lot of ways to play the same chord. My mentor's examples on the slides are just one way. However, that might pose some confusion when I leave this school and my mentor has to resume teaching this class using her own chord voicings. It would be confusing for the students as well.

Once again, I only had a few seconds to think on my feet so I went with solution number 1.

I told the class we had a change of plans. I assigned each row to a single chord and made sure they knew what chord they were supposed to play and how.

My plan was to get a simple 4/4 down strum progression going throughout the classroom and they would achieve that by actively listening to the students' playing before their turn, and coming in when it was time for their row to play the next chord.

Shortly, Row A started with C for 8 bars successfully.

Then, Row B came in at the 9th bar to play G.

Finally, we have something going on! This was working.

I kept time by counting out loud and letting them know which chord was coming up next so they were always engaged and paying attention. My mentor assisted me in helping the ones around the class who were still struggling with their assigned chord - whether this was a fingering issue, or technique, etc.

I got through the end of the day by teaching 4 basic chords to this class. Of course, each row only learned one, but they could now hear a standard pop progression in their head and I counted that as a victory.

My mentor was happy as well! The only thing she had to add was "Stanley, I'm guilty of this too, but... next time, don't stand in one spot for too long! You lost some people on the side of the room."

I laughed cheekily and said I would keep that in mind next time. What a long and fulfilling day!

[magdapolicewomen]

Chapter II Academy HazingShe wakes up when she hears the daily ringing of the bell, the officer on duty walks through the corridor and shouts "wake up.... wake up!!!" . She sits down on the bed and notices she's not wearing pajamas, she looks under the covers and discovers she's also without panties "what the hell..." she says to herself loudly enough that the friend next to her smiles and comments "what, don't you remember anything?", her friend looks at her. Magda quickly puts on a T-shirt before the officer on duty enters their room "get up ladies, it was quite a party yesterday" when the officer on duty says these words he looks pointedly at Magda. She blushes deeply when she sees his look, small hazy moments starting to appear in her head. When the officer on duty leaves the room after a few comments, she quickly runs to her friend and asks "what exactly happened?" . My friend sighs deeply, her face shows that her night was also hard. Together with Magda, they are the only girls in the group, themselves and fifteen boys in their first year of study. There are also more and more girls in the older groups, but the Academy is known for not treating anyone any differently, the only privilege the girls have are separate rooms in which they sleep, the rest is shared. Older girls who are used to these conditions have no problems with sharing a shower with their friends or in the locker room, for Magda and Jenna it is something new, which has caused them a lot of difficulties so far, they tried to wait until their friends did their thing in the locker room or in the shower to keep some intimacy.

"Why are you sighing, tell me!" Magda turns to Jenny with impatience in her voice, the fragments she remembers mean little to her. As is the tradition of the Academy, new students are admitted to the group of adepts after three months. The event is organized in the main hall of the academy and first-year students perform tasks given to them by their older colleagues. The blonde friend makes a serious face "tell me what do you remember?". Magda concentrates hard and thinks for a moment, trying to arrange the fragments into a chronological whole. "….. well, the party has started….. the Commander's speech……" Jenny interrupts impatiently, "yes, yes, it's obvious… wait a few hours." Magda looks at her friend, whose face is not as cheerful as it was right after waking up, she looks at her and sees a picture of Jenny dancing on the table, and around her there are several older colleagues who applaud her and encourage her................

[catboyebooks]

yes of course there's an epilogue.

i think the narration here is actually from naegi's perspective; it's definitely not hinata, and the melodramatic phrasing is pretty distinctive. anyway, the narration says this absurd nonsense incident is about to wrap up, and remarks on how small this entire incident has been compared to the worst most despair-inducing event in the history of mankind. there isn't even a name for this incident (uh yes there is, it's called super danganronpa 2 goodbye despair academy 🙄) and the world at large isn't even going to know that this happened. at least, not as long as the group remains here.

the dr1 trio is standing on the docks on the real jabberwock island, looking out at the ship they're about to board. the preparations for their departure are finished and kirigiri and naegi both seem ready to head out. but togami has more questions. he asks if the sdr2 survivors are really going to be okay. didn't they just turn back into shsl despair? naegi seems a little uncertain when replying, but he says he doesn't think so. if they had, why would they have elected to stay on the island? both kirigiri and naegi figure that they want to remain behind to help their friends, the "dead" people, who i guess are still in a VR-induced "sleep" with their fates uncertain. kirigiri points out that just wanting to help is proof that they've changed, but says the reality is that the odds of everybody waking up are close to zero. naegi says that's not a problem because no matter how bad the odds are, they're still trying. togami says it'd take a miracle, and naegi says he thinks they'll be able to achieve it anyway. they've accepted both hope and despair and resolved not to give up. for people like that, maybe miracles are inevitable. (and also there's a guy here whose luck basically guarantees that if an outcome is extremely unlikely, it'll happen to him. no one brings that up but i'm gonna.) both togami and kirigiri are like Dude you are so naïve and you are like a little baby (affectionate). happy to see the throuple is doing well.

they talk about how they are going to be in big huge trouble if the rest of the future foundation finds out about this. since the other two let naegi take the lead on all this, they ask him what his plan is. he doesn't have one. kirigiri's like "ok good luck coming up with something bc i'm not going to help you that much." naegi protests but togami tells him he should be glad they let him take charge here and he's like "ok... fine." these three are extremely fucking married. i'm delighted.

the three of them head to their ship. they've got more work to do, the whole despair apocalypse thing isn't fully over yet. naegi says they have to create their own futures, too.

we cut to black and now hinata is narrating again. he says the ordeal is over, and their daily lives have begun. "lives that are much more absurd, nonsensical, and irrational than before... things are... probably going to be a lot more difficult now." this isn't a mystery with a tidy ending, and it's doubtful the ending will even be good. visuals and background noise fade back in; we're looking out across a vast expanse of ocean, hearing the waves. hinata says the future's not a path, it's like an endless sea; you can try to go anywhere, but that doesn't mean you'll get there. even so, he's going to keep on living as himself. as hajime hinata.

and then we roll the credits! once again the end theme is written and performed by megumi ogata and as always it slaps and it did not make me feel normal at all. i was sort of planning on talking about the lyrics but that feels like it should be a separate post, and might also involve me doing some amateur translation work.

there isn't a post-credits stinger this time, but when the spike chunsoft logo appears at the end, monokuma falls down and lands on top of it. he says — and this isn't subtitled so apologies if my translation is a little rough, i only heard this the one time after all — something along the lines of "until next time, thanks, everybody! i love you bastards!" (yeah, he used omaera and aishiteru in the same sentence) and then he lets go of the logo and falls offscreen. And that's it! that's the actual end of the game. we did it. we fucking did it. it only took me a year and eight months. Holy fuck

[mylittleredgirl]

Another snippet from a different WIP! I have so many unfinished works I can probably keep going like this indefinitely 🥴. This one's set during "Intruder"...

---

They go back to Earth.

He’s nervous, wearing blues and facing down a half-dozen senior officers in the briefing room, plus General O’Neill dialed in on a secure phone line. They’re not dangerous in the way the Wraith are, or the Genii, or anybody else he’s ever gone up against in battle—but then, he has a better track record with those guys than he does with Air Force brass.

Elizabeth and Rodney are being debriefed separately. They all have their own areas of expertise, so different people belong on the other side of the table for each conversation. It makes sense that they aren’t all doing it together, but still, John would feel better with some friendly backup.

On the whole, it goes better than he expected when he walked in. The purpose of the meeting is threat assessment, and neither Landry nor O’Neill seem interested in taking too many detours into John’s job performance. His decisions and actions are questioned, but only a few times. Mostly by Colonel Caldwell.

“Not discounting your personal heroism in saving the city,” Caldwell says, after John gives his strategic assessment of the Genii military capability, “or rescuing Doctor Weir and Doctor McKay from a hostage situation in extreme circumstances, but it seems like some of these confrontations could have been avoided by taking more time to examine the situation up front.”

“With hindsight… maybe.” Elizabeth said pretty much the same thing without hindsight, during their first ill-fated encounter with the Genii, but John isn’t going to offer that up. “We wouldn’t have been able to delay it for long. Conflict was inevitable, and we didn’t have a lot of time to waste weighing pros and cons with the Wraith waking up all across the galaxy.”

“Is it possible that could have been prevented, too?”

John has wondered that, in some long dark nights, but the first domino fell on that before they had even been in the Pegasus galaxy for eight hours. “No. By the time we knew what was happening, it was too late to stop it.”

“Well, we’ve all been there,” O’Neill says via the speaker in the middle of the table. A few weeks after arriving in Pegasus, when John got around to reading the stack of essential SGC reports that Elizabeth earmarked for him, he was relieved to learn that his wasn’t the first rescue mission in Stargate Command history to turn a galaxy upside down. “Last week the Genii gave you a pair of nukes—what’s the ally potential there?”

Caldwell writes something down on his notepad, and John tries not to look at him as the meeting goes on.

At the end of the hour, O’Neill gives him a little praise for keeping things together out there. Landry goes further, saying John will likely have a medal or two coming his way. The compliments all come with the same flavor of finality for a job already completed that Caldwell’s did back in Atlantis.

Landry dismisses him. Everyone else stays in the room, like they might keep talking about strategic implications of the Atlantis expedition without him, because it’s no longer John’s business.

He should take their medals and their thanks and be grateful. He’ll still have one of the coolest jobs in human history, and Elizabeth will do what she can to smooth over the inevitable problems his new superior officer will have with him.

The concrete rooms and hallways of the SGC feel like they’re squeezing him. He’s not used to recycled air and fluorescent lights. He gets on the elevator with no destination in mind, just out, and only starts to relax when he can see the sky.

He ends up in what seems to be the designated smoking area for employees in the Cheyenne complex, outdoors but still inside the electrified wire perimeter. To his surprise, among the handful of uniformed personnel out on breaks, he sees a familiar head of hair.

“Taking up a bad habit?” he asks, coming up behind her.

Elizabeth turns around with a smile. She’s taller than usual in high heels, looking him in the eye. She looks so different than she usually does, wearing a pressed suit with a pink top underneath. “I just needed some air. It’s strange, though… I think I missed the smell.”

That is strange, but John breathes in and is surprised to discover a little pang of nostalgia for the uniquely terrestrial scent of secondhand smoke mixed with pine trees. There are a few smokers in the expedition, of course, but their supplies ran out after a few months, just before the coffee rations did. That was a fun few weeks for everyone.

And the trees. The tall evergreens found on many Pegasus planets look almost the same as these ones, but they don’t have the same smell.

“My father used to smoke,” Elizabeth says. “Cigars, mostly. My mom usually made him do it outside, and I liked to go out and sit with him. It was our time together.”

John can’t imagine volunteering to spend concentrated time with his father, but there must have been a point in his young life when he wanted to. “That sounds nice.”

“For a while, after he died, I only dated men who smoked cigars.” She chuckles. “Coming back here has brought up all kinds of memories.”

He never even consciously noticed the pattern, given the limited sample size in his romantic history, but it comes out of his mouth as soon as he realizes it. “I’ve only dated brunettes.”

She ducks her head and gives him a sidelong look. It’s only then that he realizes how that must have sounded—and how, maybe, that’s exactly how he meant it to sound.

She pulls them back to safer ground before he can squirm too long. “How did your debriefing go?”

“Fine, I guess. Yours?”

She looks tired as soon as he asks. “Ongoing.”

Landry officially released him from the base, but, “I’ll probably stick around another day to see if they need me before I go to Nevada.”

She tilts her head. “Family?”

“Ford’s.”

“That’s good of you.”

Maybe it is—but he doesn’t think it’ll make a dent in how guilty he feels for standing here on green grass under green Earth trees while a member of his team is alone and out of reach in another galaxy.

“Don’t go yet, though,” Elizabeth says. “Stay in town for a few days, if you can.”

“Think you’ll need backup?”

There’s a sudden, unexpected sparkle in her eye that means she’s holding back a smile, and his stomach swoops. Surely she only wants him nearby for professional reasons, but her voice is a little teasing when she says, “I can’t say anything just yet.”

That feeling of wanting is back, as strong as it was that morning when he woke up and felt like a switch had been flipped. “Yeah?”

She looks down at her watch. “Oh! I’m going to be late. But… just stick around for me, okay?”

She leaves him outside with the trees, and he watches her go.

He thinks about buying a cigar.

---

Theme Day 4 - SGC

Sometimes we're not on Atlantis at all! Today's the day to celebrate all things Stargate Command (SGC).

Coming up next:

Oct 5: Bingo Card fill Oct 6: Angst Fanworks

See all Theme Days in our pinned post.

[footprintsinthesxnd]

Love and War

Masterlist Next Chapter

Synopsis: Bob Floyd never expected to fall in love during the war, especially not with a pretty, young nurse during basic training. But love works in funny ways and can their love stand the rest of time, the war and the distance that separates them. Warnings: mentions of graphic themes, war, injury, weapons, sexual images, language, 18+. Thank you @callsign-phoenix for proofreading for me ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Currahee - Camp Toccoa Georgia - 1942

When thinking back Bob always thought fondly of his days at the training camp in Toccoa, Georgia. He and his friends had been so carefree, without the horrors of war to haunt their every waking and sleeping moment but in reality, he had hated basic training. It wasn’t as if he’d hated the work as such, he was proud to be a member of Easy Company, he’d enjoyed learning, getting his jump wings, and he would gladly fight and die beside these men. The problem was their commanding officer, Captain Lewis. While the other Company’s had weekend passes and downtime, Easy Company ran extra drills, performed extra weapons training and somehow always managed to have their weekend passes revoked.

On this particular Saturday afternoon the temperature was high, the air sticky and the bloodthirsty mosquitoes were in abundance. Bob had waved goodbye to two of his friends from Dog Company, who were off to enjoy their weekend passes, before joining the rest of Easy on the grass field dressed in his PT kit. Bob couldn’t remember the exact reason for the weekend passes revoke this time. There was a long list but it mainly boiled down to the fact that Lewis seemed to have it in for them. A crease in uniform, a smudge on a shirt collar, a rusty bayonet, eventually it came to the point where the men didn’t dare breathe in Lewis’ presence for fear of having the entire company’s passes revoked.

He was a harsh man with Lewis and a voice like a cat being strangled, that same voice haunted Bob’s nightmares and he often would wake in a cold sweat with the fear that he was there waiting for him.

“EASY COMPANY!” Captain Lewis shouted, bringing all the men to attention in seconds, his raspy voice striking more fear than any enemy could.

“Today you will be running 15 miles, in full kit and carrying all your reserve ammunition. You have 10 minutes to be back out here and ready for inspection.” The whole unit remained silent, watching Lewis in utter shock. “NOW!” The CO screamed.

“Easy Company fall out!” Lieutenant Nelson, Easy company’s platoon leader commanded, sending all the men hurrying towards their respected barracks for their supplies. Nelson was a 1st Lieutenant and unlike Lewis was a kind-faced man, who always treated his men with respect, in return his men respected him. He disciplined them but he had good judgment and his main priority was getting his platoon out alive, which was something the CO didn’t seem to understand.

No less than 10 minutes later Easy Company were back at attention in their full kit and ready for the run. The ones who didn’t make it out had their passes revoked for the following weekend and had to empty the water canteens as punishment.

“You won’t be drinking until those 15 miles are up boys.” Captain Lewis called as he took off jogging, still dressed in just his t-shirt and shorts while the men of Easy Company trudged along behind him.

The trail they took ran along the side of the river, across the meadow and down into the valley, before heading back around to the camp. To start with the men had good spirits and Bob joined in singing with the others as they jogged along. Lewis didn’t like this, Bob realised as he slowed down to run between the men and began throwing insults at them.

“Do you think you’re a good solider, Corporal Miller?”

“Yes, Sir,” the dark-haired medic replied, continuing to face forward and not make eye contact with Lewis.

“Well, you’re not. You’re sloppy and slow. I hope my life never ends up in your hands.” He shoved past him and moved to the next man.

“Your laces are undone, Private Jackson.”

“Yes, Sir,” Thomas Jackson, Easy Company’s radio man replied.

“Well, what are you going to do about it, Private.”

“Stop and tie them, Sir.”

“No Private. YOU WILL NOT STOP!” He bellowed, shoving Jackson out of the way and causing him to trip over into the man beside him.

“Private Floyd,” he shouted in Bob’s ear as he appeared next to him.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Do you want a weekend pass for next weekend? Because my grandmother could run faster than you and she’s dead? KEEP MOVING!” Bob picked up the pace, as did the men around him as Lewis made his way back to the front of the group.

“You three are on latrine duty for the rest of the week. Starting with Floyd.”

Bob groaned internally, he’d been on latrine duty last week after a mishap during weapons training where his gun jammed. Lewis had made a point to embarrass him in front of the rest of the company, making him run while the Captain firing at him. Bob remembered zigzagging hastily across the field to avoid the oncoming fire while Lewis just laughed. Bob never thought he’d say this but the sooner they were shipped to England the better. Lewis was stationed in Georgia so he wouldn’t be accompanying them, much to the men’s satisfaction.

Latrine duty was Bob’s worst nightmare but seemed to be Lewis preferred punishment. Today Bob was joined by a boy from Fox Company, he was older than a boy but he could barely have been 18 years of age as he stood in the doorway looking around sheepishly.

“You here for latrine duty?” Bob’s thick southern accent was more prominent as he tried to hold his breath against the stench of the facilities.

“Yeah,” the boy replied glumly, taking a seat beside Bob. “I can’t believe I got my pass revoked. I thought I’d be on mess hall duty or something. I thought this was Easy’s job.”

Bob snorted partly in disgust and partly in amusement. “Trust me, Son, Easy don’t choose this punishment, our officer just hates us.”

The boy introduced himself as Connor Dawe, a Private from Fox Company. He was a good worker and helped Bob scrub relentlessly at the basins. The block normally took about 3 hours to properly clean with just one man but between them, they had made good progress when Albert Miller, Easy Company’s medic, appeared in the doorway. He was a similar age to Bob, with a head of dark hair, a lean figure and a strong Louisiana accent. Miller had become one of Bob’s closest friends when they met during the first few weeks of basic training, and they had been close ever since.

“What are you doing here?” Bob asked, looking at his friend, who wrinkled his nose in response.

“I’m on latrine duty, with you two” he sighed, grabbing the mop and sloping it messily across the concrete floor.

“But I thought you started tomorrow?” Bob questioned, scrubbing aggressively at the basin.

“Well, so did I. But Lewis just hauled me out of the barracks and nearly kicked my ass the whole way here. I’ve lost my pass for next weekend too,” Albert groaned. “I was meant to be seeing my wife and baby girl this weekend. Now I’m gonna have to wait another week and pray my pass isn’t revoked again.

“Well if it is, you know where to find me.” All three men chuckled. The work was tough, but at least they were in it together.

The evening was drawing in when the three soldiers emerged from the latrine block, Dawe waved them goodbye and headed towards the Fox Company barracks while Floyd and Miller wandered towards Easy Company.

“Hey, have you met the new nurse,” Miller asked, taking a long drag from his cigarette, inhaling the nicotine and letting the substance circle his lungs as he let the smoke out in a long sigh.

“No, what’s she like?” Bob took the cigarette from his friend, inhaling deeply and trying to contain the cough that was building in his chest. Bob had never smoked before joining the army, his parents never had so he’d never thought anything of it. Bob had a few cigarettes with his friends on occasion but generally he avoided them, always regretting the stale taste it left in his mouth.

“She’s alright, I met her today. She seems quite nice and is very efficient.”

Bob nodded along, taking another drag from the cigarette before passing it back to the medic.

“That’s good, we need someone who knows what they’re doing,” he laughed as Miller hit him over the back of his head playfully. “I look forward to meeting her,” Bob corrected himself, smiling cheekily at his friend. What Bob didn’t realise was that he’d be meeting you sooner than he realised.

Bob always hated canteen duties, the mess hall was loud, unruly and sweaty. It wasn’t too bad if you were enjoying a meal with your fellow soldiers but serving the rowdy lot was another matter. Bob was slopping the grey, gruel-like porridge onto the soldier's plates as they funneled along the line to be served. Each soldier hurried off quickly, shoveling the liquid into their mouths before Captain Lewis could tell them otherwise.

Bob was coming to the end of the morning rush, when one of the kids from Easy Company dropped a stack of clean plates all over the floor, ceramic erupting in shards of white and scattering across the floor. Nowadays, this would have Bob diving under the nearest table or fleeing out of the door but Bob was naive back then, the true horrors of war seemed like something distant in the future.

“Christ's sake, watch yourself kid,” Bob swore, bending down to help the kid clear up the mess.

“Sorry,” the boy apologised and tried to help, but Bob brushed him off.

“Go grab some food before Captain Lewis comes.”

Bob gathered most of the mosaic pieces into the dustpan, picking up the occasional fragments he’d missed. A sharp stinging pain struck Bob’s hand and he pulled away quickly, cursing angrily under his breath, as he watched the deep crimson liquid ooze from the cut, the raised pink skin glaring back at him. “For fuck sake!”

Standing back up, he wrapped his hand tightly in a towel, his eyes scanning the mess hall for any sign of Miller but he was nowhere to be found. Cursing again, Bob made his way toward the temporary hospital set up for the medics and nurses.

The room was empty, well a tent really, its flimsy brown tarpe flapping in the wind when Bob entered, his boots tapping loudly on the wooden floor as he made his way down between the empty beds, all neatly made with crisp white sheets. He took a seat on the edge of one, cradling his arm to his chest, gazing aimlessly around the room, blue eyes scanning over the bare wooden walls to cabinets full of fresh medical supplies.

The sound of shuffling steps brought Bob’s attention to the young nurse in front of him, her clean white apron wrapped neatly around her middle and she had a pencil resting between her plump lips, as she gazed absentmindedly at the clipboard in her hand.

Bob cleared his throat, standing to attention and grabbing her attention, leaving her looking slightly dazed.

“Sorry, can I help you?” She asked, eyeing him suspiciously. (Y/n) wasn’t naive, she had her fair run-in with soldiers pretending to have all sorts of ailments just to be in the company of a woman.

“Ma’am,” the soldier replied, removing his helmet and nodding his head respectfully towards you. “I… umm cut my hand during mess hall duty and I was wondering if I could get it dressed?” He smiled at her sheepishly, raising his hand to reveal it wrapped in a blood-soaked towel.

“Oh you poor love, of course. Take a seat on one of those cots and I’ll fetch some things.”

The nurse scurried away and Bob perched awkwardly on the edge of one of the neatly made cots. The nurse soon reappeared armed with some dressings and a surgical kit. She bathed his hand gently, her hands gliding across his skin effortlessly, like a painter and their canvas. Bob gritted his teeth, hissing as the antiseptic burned the open wound. She gave him a small apologetic smile and he grimaced back, trying to stop his eyes from watering as she rubbed the swab over his wound. When she had finished cleaning his wound, she applied some stitches before dressing it in a simple white bandage. Her hands worked quickly but soothingly and Bob felt a great sense of calm just watching her work, feeling her skin against his. Every time the pair awkwardly made eye contact Bob would look away, his cheeks turning a deep scarlet.

“Right, you’re all done…” she paused, eyebrows pinched in question as the soldier looked up at you confused.

“Oh… Private Floyd. Private Bob Floyd Ma’am,” she advanced her hand towards him, taking his good hand and shaking it gently.

“Well, Private Floyd, I want you to keep this dressing on for the next few days, keep the wound clean and you can have your stitches removed in a week as long as it’s healing well.”

She smiled at him as he nodded along, she wasn’t sure if he was taking in the information but she smiled regardless.

“Thank you, Ma’am.” He stood to leave, replacing his helmet on his head and taking long strides down the aisle to the exit.

“(y/n),” she called out, watching as Bob Floyd stopped in his tracks, turning quickly on his heels to face you.

“My name, it's (y/n).” She watched as his soft features morphed into a wide grin and he let out a small triumphant laugh before leaving the medics' tent. She smiled to herself as she busied herself, tidying away the medical supplies. (Y/n) hoped to see a lot more of Private Floyd in the future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Taglist: @callsign-phoenix @shadowsintheknight @imjess-themess @averyhotchner @mayhem24-7forever @green-socks @alexxavicry @a-reader-and-a-writer @topguncortez @maggiescarborough @callsignmaverick5 @ssprayberrythings @smoothdogsgirl @xoxabs88xox @luckyladycreator2 @abaker74 @elenavampire21 @classyunknownlover @okiegirl24 @flashyourgreeneyesatme @sunlightmurdock @airedale17 @callmemana @shadowolf993 @t-nd-rfoot @topguncultleader @flyboyjake @emorychase @wkndwlff @shanimallina87 @jstarr86 @starkleila @callsignmeiga

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[aetheternity]

How they simp ft the Aot boys

This is both Aot universe and Modern universe. I’ll separate them accordingly. 

(The charismatic simp): Jean  

•Aot verse:

☆ He's gonna become your friend as soon as he realizes he has a crush on you and he'll do everything in his power to stay by your side when that happens.

☆ He'll slide into the first available seat next to you in the mess hall and bring extra bread so that he can slide it onto your plate if you're extra hungry.

☆ If you spend a lot of time in the library he'll find a book similar to whatever he'd seen you reading before. (Of course he has to ask Armin what kind of books would be similar to your current choice.)

☆ And once he knows your favorite genre he'll head to the library late at night and grab a couple from that genre. Bookmarking his favorite pages so he can talk to you about it and you'll think he's super smart. (He's definitely fallen asleep with many books on his lap, chest and head since he started crushing on you.)

☆ If you have a hobby that's more interactive like sewing or flower picking he'll offer to carry your little basket or wear the thing you're currently stitching up so you can work better.

☆ And yes he did get caught wearing flowers in his hair by Eren. But it was because you'd smiled so fondly at him while sticking daisies in his brown hair. Giggling so cutely when they fell out. And he was gonna take that memory to his fucking grave regardless of what titan idiot had to say about it.

☆ And yes he did get caught wearing a skirt that you were fixing for Historia. By both Connie and Levi.

☆ Levi who went pale in the face and looked as though he was secretly praying for his own demise to come soon as he slowly closed the door and walked away.

☆ And Connie who laughed so hard he choked on his own spit and had to be helped to the infirmary because he was now coughing every time he breathed. So Karma ig 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

☆ He just has to touch you..

☆ Oh God he wants to. He's gonna find a way. Whether it's a little shoulder nudge when you're complimented during meetings by higher ups. Or pats on your back.

☆ If you confide in him about your lack of confidence before a mission he's gonna sit with you and talk you through your feelings.

☆ He does this thing where he leans into you when talking. Rests his hand on your lower back as his breath touches your ear. Whispers sweet compliments into your ear because you need that shit.

☆ And it's good enough to make your toes curl.

☆ Guides you by the wrist through thick crowds so you don't get overwhelmed or lost and sometimes you expect it so you reach out for him and the two of you end up holding hands instead.

☆ He's become your little nurse. Like of course he's worried when you get hurt but there's also the opportunity to fix you up. So silver linings 🙄.

☆ If you're allergic to anything he doesn't have it in his first aid kit. Sometimes you'll get like the smallest little bruise on your knee of some shit. And it's not even from training, you just happened to trip while cleaning the stables and now: thumb sized bruise. But he's like "I don't care, sit so I can clean it."

☆ "It could get infected!" He'll try to convince you but like no, no it couldn't come on now it wasn't even really bloody..

☆ If you just so happen to have extra chores he'll go out and bring you some water then offer to help. Or he'll just ask Levi if he can go help you.

☆ "Those boxes could be heavy." He'll tell the Captain. "We don't need anyone getting unnecessarily injured before the next mission." And of course Levi knows what he's doing and sends him to go help because he honestly doesn't wanna listen to this anymore.

☆ If you have back problems or even if you don't he wants to carry your bag. No you don't get a say in it. But you can go ahead and argue with him if you want to.

• "I just think it looks too heavy."

• "Jean, I'm ok I promise."

• "Ok how about this? Let me hold it for a couple minutes then I'll give it right back."

☆ Yeeeaah. You're not getting your shit back. He's gonna walk you all the way to your designated location and then put the bag down where you need to be for that time period. Even if it completely inconveniences him.

☆ And he won't tell you that he had a meeting that he's now over 12 minutes late to. You don't need to know it'd just worry you for no reason.

☆ He has adapted some sort of like sixth sense when it comes to you. Like sometimes he'll wake up in the middle of the night to pee and just so happens to walk past your bedroom door as you're reading a book on the floor or crying or something.

☆ And now he's sitting with you even though his organs are currently failing.

☆ He'll bring you a glass of water or tea or whatever you want. You want food? He'll find it. Want a book? He'll go get it.

☆ Sometimes he sits in bed with you and just lets you cuddle up to him or reads you a book as you lay on his chest listening to the unsteady beats of his heart. Unsteady cause ya know it's you laying on him. And yeah his face is becoming redder by the second but he can't stop staring at your sleeping face. Even if you snore louder than a titan stomping he doesn't give a single fuck.

☆ At some point everyone thinks you two are dating and they talk to you both as if this is the case but you're not! At least not until Jean finally explains that yes, he does have, "Feelings for you." Tells you exactly how long in fact because to him it's crucial.

☆ When he kisses you it's the type of kiss that makes you suck in air. He takes you by the shoulders, slowly looking for even the smallest bit of hesitation in your face and presses his lips to yours. When you pull away you're lightheaded, pupils blown as you look at him with stars in your eyes.

☆ "Oh.. wow." Is all you mutter.

☆ Good luck, you just fed his giant ego.

•Modern verse:

☆ Modern day Jean is more shy and reserved. He'll definitely try to become your friend but he probably has a lot less opportunities to get you alone.

☆ If you both work at the same place you're probably both confined to your own spaces and if you both go to the same school you might have separate classes.

☆ So here's what he's doing: finding anyway, shape or form to invite you out.

☆ He got an extra ticket to a concert. He'll just not tell Connie and invite you to come with him. Because you know.. you deserve a break after work right? There's a new restaurant opening near him? Cool he's already on the phone telling you their entire menu. (He might have memorized it before calling but he won't tell you he's reading off the menu.)

☆ Sometimes he might go to your desk and leave you something sweet or cute. Like candy or little desk ornaments but he's always too shy to write a note that has his name at the bottom so he settles for staying anonymous. His heart immediately grows three sizes when he sees you playing with the desk ornament he left or eating the candy while typing away at the computer.

☆ He'll look out your favorite band so he can find out when they'll come to the city where you guys live and buy the tickets. Maybe he stays up all night, what does it matter sleep is for the weak.

☆ Or he'll find out your favorite restaurant and go there when he knows you might be going so he can just happen to run into you. No obviously it's not creepy. 😑

☆ If he can't seem to connect with you plan b is to pimp out Sasha. He just has to connect with you! So he'll get Sasha to find out any useful information on you and report back or he'll ask Sasha to become close with your best friends.

☆ If not Sasha then Connie 🤷‍♀️

☆ Once he gets useful information that's when he steps in. Oh you have a presentation for school to work on? He's at your door at 10pm with snacks (that he knows you love thanks to Sasha), energy drinks, and information on the topic you're working on.

☆ I'm talking he brought papers full of information in case you need to beef up your slides. He also brought his own laptop so he can search up any information that seems incorrect. He'll listen to you as you talk about your project and give you feedback on your performance.

☆ This might take all night but he can't help his desire to help you. And of course he's not gonna tell you if he has his own homework to work on.

• "You think it's good? Really?" You'll ask as you close your laptop for the night.

• "You're gonna get an A. Especially since I helped so now it's guaranteed."

• He loves the way you snort and roll your eyes at him when he says this.

• "Thanks Jean, you're a life saver."

☆ If you hug him you might also need to help him up off the floor or bandage him up cause he's gonna hurt himself from the shock and excitement.

☆ If you have a work presentation or just in general need help with something you're doing for your boss. He'll dedicate as much time as he has open to helping you with that too.

☆ Need coffee before your presentation? He's running to the nearest shop. Don't really understand the project your boss gave you? He'll work you through it the whole night.

☆ If you happen to tell him on a Friday that something in your house needs fixing all of a sudden he's 'Fix it Jean' now he's telling you he can fix it tomorrow and the second he hangs up he's looking up how to fix a clogged valve or some shit.

☆ And Sasha and Connie are like, "Sir, what made you think you were a handy man??"

☆ He manages though. Brings like three books to your house and looks through all of them simultaneously. Thinks he messed everything up and is about two seconds away from crying on your floor like a toddler with a spilled juice box but he pulls through surprisingly. Has your shit fixed and gets a little kiss on the cheek.

☆ Which leads into him guiltily explaining the truth and telling you everything. From the trinkets to the tickets to now with this thing he nearly ruined in your apartment. But he's so relieved to see you're grateful for everything instead of annoyed like he'd been believing in his head.

☆ Now he gets a real kiss. And Modern day Jean is built different. He's so nervous to touch you like you're made of glass. But when he does he's got his hands on your sides, keeping you in place like you'll run. Your fingers delicately threading through his hair. Giving you the kind of kiss you don't wanna pull away from. You become so quickly attached to the taste of his lips and the subtle beats of hesitation still lingering on him.

☆ You wanna pull his tongue into your mouth. Keep him so close but he pushes you back. "I wanna take you on a date." He mutters with glassy eyes and bright cheeks.

☆ And obviously you say, "Yes."

(The informed simp): Armin

•Aot verse:

☆ As everyone has said a thousand times before. Armin is an informed simp. And within the first week of knowing he has a crush on you he has information on, your family life before you joined the Corp, your favorite food, your favorite color, your favorite flower, your hobbies etc etc.

☆ And every bit of that information is stored in his file cabinet like brain.

☆ When he found out your favorite color he wore it as often as possible in out of uniform situations. Even if it was just accenting the rest of his clothes he found a way to wear it somewhere.

☆ He skimmed through books that had information on attraction and started subtly complimenting you to make you notice him.

• "Hi, [Name] that jacket really brings out your eyes."

• "It's the same jacket everyone's wearing Armin.."

• "Oh.. yeah.."

☆ Sneaks references to things you like into conversation as often as possible. Because you know, right after a meeting is the best time to talk about how your favorite song is tied to the fact that your mom used to sing it to you to help you sleep?? 😃

☆ More power to him.. he's a little confused but he's got the spirit.

☆ He slipped flowers into your favorite books but it didn't really seem to matter because he was never there when you actually encountered the flowers. (But he did often see you talking about the plants with your friends and twirling them between your fingers) good enough.

☆ He found out ways to better help your digestion. You know because what's love if not healthy bowel movements.. cause like every other attempt made him look stupid so he looked through some books on foods to help keep your colon healthy. And he explained it over dinner..

☆ Safe to say the only one who thought this topic was at all interesting was Levi.

☆ He's absolutely bombing and he hates it. At this point you only give him shy little smiles and then just walk away. He knows you probably don't hate him but he hates that nothing is working for him.

☆ At some point Eren's talking to him solo and he explains that he knows about his crush on you. Following it up promptly with, "Why don't you just tell [Name] that everything you were doing wasn't to be weird, at this point coming clean is probably the only way you could still have a chance."

☆ And he hates it that Eren's right. But he marches right up to you when you have chores out in the stables because if he didn't he'd never say all the things rushing around in his brain.

• "Hi Armin." You greet with that smile.. that smile that makes his stomach tense and his heart want to burst.

• He breathes in before replying, "[Name], I.. like you.." You pause where you're getting water for the horses to see his sun kissed red cheeks. "Everything I've done is because I really like you.." He continues, letting out a shaky breath.

☆ A period of far too long goes by with neither of you saying a word and his blue eyes flicker up to you in concern. When you clap your hands together he nearly parts from his skin.

• "Oh! That explains the weird compliments and the stuff about my mom!" You sigh, slapping your head with a smile. "Oh thank God. Armin I like you too."

☆ More silence because 1. He didn't think you'd like him back and 2. Holy shit you like him back!! He's simultaneously having a party in his brain and melting into the floor.

☆ When he finally kisses you it's unsure. Makes you lean into him. Sweet but subtle like gentle breezes on a hot day. His mouth is closed and his arms cautiously wrap around your waist looking for any sign that you want to get out. But you don't. You just wanna keep pecking his cute little lips because he's so cute and everything he's done is so cute.

• "Finally." You guys turn to see Mikasa and Eren.

• "It's about time." Mikasa greets with a little smirk.

☆ And Armin is practically fainting trying desperately to explain that it wasn't what it looked like but his face continues to tell your little audience that yes. Yes it is what it looks like.

•Modern verse:

☆ Modern day Armin is equipped with an advantage.

☆ Fucking social media.

☆ He went to your page and found out your birthday, your family's last name, how many friends you have in real life. Shit if he dug around long enough he could've probably found your heritage portfolio and your social security. (Social media's a little dangerous sometimes..)

☆ So when he becomes your friend and gets your cell number (Another thing he could've probably dug up online.) He sends you things you might love at any and all times of the day. He spends every free second he has, from lunch time to the last hour he has before he really has to go to sleep researching shit you might like so he can send it to you.

☆ And modern day Armin is so sexy in how he manages to get you into a ton of situations featuring him, your cute little blond simp. Modern day Armin needs to write romance anime 😭

☆ He heard you like aquariums not only did he send you a website to get those tickets way cheaper but he also invited himself (telling you that he was already going). And planned to take you around the city to get your favorite food and any other activities where he could drop his extensive knowledge on marine life. Oh you love astronomy? No problem he was just about to go to the planetarium this weekend, you should definitely go along so he can take you to the planet's light show and stare at you instead of the stars.

☆ Oh your favorite movie is coming out? He had no idea.. he just happened to have an extra ticket to see it the day it comes out. Not only is it now free of charge to you for that but he's also already brought a bunch of your favorite snacks to line his backpack with. Even if your favorite snacks are from a different country he got them express shipped so they'd be there sooner.

☆ He also has weather apps on his phone and laptop so that he'll know if the weather changes even the smallest fraction so that he can take you anywhere else if needed.

☆ Yes he definitely has spent a shit ton of money on you but every time he takes you somewhere your face lights up so beautifully that he'd repeatedly slam his credit card on the table to buy you a plane ticket if you even hinted at wanting it.

☆ In this beautiful opposite world you definitely confessed to him. (You better for his pain and suffering.)

☆ He could've jumped for joy knowing his plans worked perfectly but he simply takes a deep breath, eyes full of contentment as he mumbles, "I feel the same way."

☆ When he kisses you it's with his thumbs lightly rubbing the small of your back. Chewing gum spit out only fifteen minutes ago so his breath was still perfectly fresh. Adding just enough tongue to make you arch and gasp into his mouth. And yeah, he read up on how to do that too. And now that you're his, he's gonna need two jobs cause he came to spoil. No you don't get a say in it.

(The interested simp): Eren

•Aot verse:

☆ Yeah I know this one's weird but let me explain. Eren's simping capabilities are so simple they can be so easily described as, interested.

☆ He legit figured out he had a crush on you and then about 15 minutes later he'd found out everything you'd wanna be if you lived to see the end of the war.

☆ It's so obvious he's simping hard, I mean man's was enamored by you talking about your parents workshop back home. 🙄 You know what I don't even think he was actually interested he was probably playing it up but lowkey disassociated

☆ He definitely gets made fun of for it on the daily too but unlike Jean he kinda shrugs it off.

☆ He's not gonna scavenge the earth for information on you. He's gonna let you tell him and he wants you to tell him. Tell him literally everything about yourself and you will cause he'll know if you don't.

☆ Sometimes he plays little games with you to try to figure out some kind of information about you on like a long ride back from a mission or something. It helps him ease the tension in his brain and gives him something new about you. Win-win

☆ He beat the fucking system by just getting you to talk about you and dropping things you both have in common into conversation. He really did better than Armin!

☆ If you have trouble during training he'll talk you through what you're doing wrong and help you work through your issues. If that leads to some touching well then that's just how things will go 🤷‍♀️

☆ The second he has your favorite color in his mind he's buying you a piece of jewelry with the same stone color. Yes this is him marking you as his and no you probably won't realize but the second you put it on in his eyes you belong to him. And now you can never take it off. 😃

☆ He has a little notebook (not for writing journal entries or anything.) It's just sometimes he forgets certain things you tell him and you pretend to pout when he asks for the information again so he writes it down in the notebook so he can read it and remember it again.

☆ There have definitely been instances on more than one occasion where the two of you would stay up all night talking. Sneak into the other person's room. Sitting on the floor together or side by side on the bed. Those are definitely the best nights because you get to show off your Eren trivia and prove you've retained just as much information on him as he has about you.

☆ Another scenario has presented itself in which you're the one who ends up confessing. Eren would come close cheeks flush with pink and whisper, the ghost of his lips on yours, "I think it's kinda obvious how I feel." When he kisses you it's with both hands cupping your cheeks. So hot against your face. Thumbs curving delicately over your skin. He's leaning into your lips over and over again. Recapturing them every time he pulls back but he also loves making you work for it a little, smirking when you have to strech to capture his lips again. Taking every bit of oxygen from your body. You kinda hold onto him with slightly shaky arms when he's finished. But honestly he's only finished for now cause he'll never get enough of your lips now that he's had a taste.

•Modern verse:

☆ Modern day Eren talked to you before he realized he was attracted to you and you haven't gotten rid of him since the day he realized he wanted you.

☆ He sees you walking to your next class or to the copy machine and he trots his way over to match your pace.

☆ When he's not with you, he's texting you nonsensical stuff he thinks you'll find funny. And when he is with you he's listening to every word you say with the dopiest grin adorning his features.

☆ Sometimes when you're talking he'll unsubtly lick his lips to see if he can make your eyes follow his tongue or he'll lean in closer, kinda crowding you a little if you're both standing. Speaking of crowding he pulls you into him by your hips if you just happen to be standing in the way and someone needs to get past you two.

☆ You'll never understand how much harder he falls for you when you look up at him through your pretty lashes. Hands slightly on his chest.

☆ He loves annoying you. Doing little shit like poking you with the eraser on his pencil or snatching your books from you when you're writing while he's talking. Cause he just thinks you should be staring into his eyes while he talks in the same way he does with you.

☆When he brings you dinner he always brings himself something to eat as well and he'll plop down next to you and ask you for details about your day. Smiling fondly at you when you complain about minor inconveniences.

☆ He loves your fingers so much. If he's not staring into your eyes he's looking at the way your thumb drags over your dripping boba/coffee. The way your fingers click perfectly over every key on your laptop. Every now and then he'll reach out for your hands massaging the knuckles because he just wants to touch them so bad. Bonus points if you smile at him while he does it.

☆ Not gonna lie it could definitely go either way with a confession. But it's probably more likely going to be on you unless he just so happens to accidentally confess while sleepy or drunk.

☆ When he kisses you, he cups your chin pulling you close, angling his tongue so it slides right up against your teeth. He softly hums into your mouth and you can tell he's at least a little nervous but his touch is so perfect. His thumb sliding over the edge of your lips as he sucks your tongue into his mouth. You're more than a little ashamed at the whine you let out when he pulls away. But the way he's blushing makes you feel at least a little bit better.

(The Childish simp): Connie

•Aot verse:

☆ Let's be honest, he doesn't know what he's doing. You know, cause you're his first crush.

☆ He's going to work extra hard to drop even the most random jokes and then look directly at you hoping you laugh. Just laugh cause if you don't he might repeat the joke again and that'd be uncomfortable for everyone.

☆ And when you crack a joke he's out here guffawing like it's the best thing he's ever heard. Like he'll legit pause all conversation with his loud ass laughing and everyone in the room is just like: 😒

☆ If he gives you gifts they're normally things he thinks are cool or awesome but every now and then he'll pick a flower and just randomly stuff it in your hair and when you look at him confused smile adorning your face he'll say, "It fits your face." And then awkwardly gesture at you. All you can really say is thank you.

☆ He practically crashes into the seat next to you at meetings. Jean dead ass started pretending to race him for the seat next to you and one time he tipped the chair over and fell on top of it, Levi made him reenter the room properly after he'd managed to stand up.

☆ He sometimes does that I'm not touching you thing to get your attention or taps your shoulder then looks away as you turn to look at him. He'll poke your shoulder a couple times until he's successful in keeping your eyes on him then he'll hover his finger over your head or shoulder until you roll your eyes.

• "Connie.."

• "I'm not even touching you!" He'll laugh

☆ He does nice things for you but they never really work out well for him. One time he got you a glass of water because he thought you looked thirsty and he placed it in front of you when you weren't looking. You turned from where you were talking with Historia and your elbow tipped over the cup spilling its contents all over your lap and meeting notes. He felt so so bad.

☆ One time you tripped during training and got a huge scratch on your leg and Levi stepped in to care for you. He asked Connie to go get the alcohol and in his excitement he ran back and tripped spilling the entire bottle all over the floor. Eren had to go run to the closest store and get more.

☆ At some point in time he walks into your room and sloppily pours his feelings out to you as you sit on your bed staring at him in confusion. His face is like beet red and he's breathing like he just ran a marathon. But you laugh and tell him you think he's adorable. You think he's gonna hug you when he pulls you in under your arms but he just holds your back super tight with both hands and swings you around till you can't stop giggling. His kiss is sweet a little sloppy cause it's his first but he's eager and cute as he pulls you into his chest. Probably bites your lip in a playful way and you can't help but lean into him.

•Modern verse:

☆ Modern day Connie is probably annoying the fuck out of you. He sends you memes all day! Put your phone on silent all you want you'll just come back to 40+ messages. And he likes to call you when he's not busy which means you're forever regretting giving him your number.

☆ He'll deadass go to the bathroom and face time you in the stall talkin bout some, "What're you doing right now?" And you're like, "Mfer what are you doing right now!"

☆ He takes any given opportunity to flirt with you and he's so goofy you won't realize he genuinely means everything he says,

• "I really hate your last name." He randomly says

• "What'd my last name do to you?"

• He shrugs, "I think you should change it."

• "To what?" You scoff

• "Springer 😘"

☆ And he calls you for the stupidest shit when he's at home:

• "Connie, what's wrong? You called me like four times in a row."

• "Which animals do you think would be the bitchest if they spoke human?"

• "Bye Connie 😑"

• "No wait!"

• "What?"

• "Send nudes."

☆ Loves to lay on you when you're sitting. Like he'll deadass drop his whole weight onto your back while you're sitting in your desk chair trying to work. He's just looking for a way to touch you and doesn't know how to express that.

☆ Yes he does have you in his phone as something crass and no he's not willing to change it. Most likely some shit like fat ass with a heart or Mommy/Daddy as a personal joke.

☆ And yeah you find him super annoying until this one night when he's texting you pics of his old family dog back home and he tells you everything about the dog's life from when he was a puppy to the day he passed and he shows you pics of him kissing the little pups head and holding him and things like that. The last video he sent was him crying while holding a framed photo after the dog's passing during Christmas time. And it's the first time you've ever been provoked to hug Connie instead of choke him.

☆ When the time finally comes for Connie to tell you his feelings you're in a good place to accept them and tell him you like him back. And that's when he pulls you in around the neck and gives you a surprisingly natural kiss. His mouth is parted slightly, hands gripping the back of your shirt a little as he keeps you close. He allows you to take the lead. Forehead warm where it's pressed against his. You both can't help but stay like that for awhile.

(The lowkey simp): Levi

•Aot verse:

☆ Rule number 1 you cannot know he is simping. He'll take it to his grave but if you're not oblivious you'll probably catch on.

☆ When he disassociates during a meeting his eyes get darker in the middle and he just rests his chin on his palm and stares at you. Doesn't matter that the meeting has been going on for more than an hour and he has yet to blink. He doesn't even know he's doing it. When he comes back down to earth he just blinks normally and looks away. And if no one tells him he'll honestly continue to do it. Sometimes in different positions, he's laying back in his chair head forward but his eyes are on you a couple seats down on the other side of the table.

☆ He picks up items whenever he goes into town. And I mean every. single. time. For you and he makes sure it's something you'll love and while you're out training he'll stuff it in a box and place it on your bed.

☆ He writes you anonymous notes with little inspirational words on them in places only you'll find them. But it's inspirational in Levi terms so it's shit like, "Stay alive for tomorrow." And "Don't look down because the sun is up."

☆ When he needs a break from work he just closes his eyes and thinks about you. Sometimes he does it just because he secretly loves that warm floating sensation he gets.

☆ Like Eren he'll trot up beside you whenever he can. But he won't say a word unless you say something first.

• "Hi Captain." You greet when he pops into your peripheral vision.

• Genuinely can not help how soft his eyes are when he looks at you, "Hello." He replies

☆ He'll find some reason to complain about the way his entire squad cleans their rooms so that he can also have an excuse to say he'll reclean them so that he has an excuse to make a bee line for your room first and be trapped in your scent. Taking your sheets off the bed and holding them to his chest, sweeping, getting that extra elbow grease on the windows so they're more spotless than even his standards.

☆ And of course because he doesn't want you to know he's simping hard for you he has to deal with you paying him the same amount of attention as the other higher ups which he hates with a burning passion. Like why don't you like him more? He does way more for you on a level that you can see. You should be more affectionate towards him. You talk to him everyday.

☆ I don't think I need to tell you Levi's shy so you'll be confessing. And you start by telling him you know the notes are from him because while Levi's intelligent he's also stupid. Like who the fuck else has access to your uniform clothes and would care enough to go in your drawers just to leave a piece of paper with the words, "Life is never so shitty that you can't at least better yourself."

☆ He kinda just lowers his head as pink soaks his entire face. And you lift his chin up to press a slow chaste kiss on his lips. He doesn't touch you. He can't bring himself to but he manages to kiss back. His irises so bright when you pull away. "Thank you Captain." You tell him before you leave. He's definitely genuinely worried his heart is getting ready to explode as he stares at the closed door.

•Modern verse

☆ Modern day Levi is a fucking mess. He doesn't know shit about having a crush and he knows it's you really early into meeting you but he's like, why them. He managed to spend his entire existence avoiding romance and yet here you are. He doesn't even know what he wants from you so sometimes he comes off a little more aggressive when he's talking to you.

☆ He stares directly into your soul when you're sitting across from him for any reason. You had to have had a crush on him first because he genuinely doesn't know what to do with himself.

☆ If you invite him somewhere he scoffs immediately following it up with a, "I'll be there."

☆ He rereads your messages whenever he's bored. And if you send him good morning texts he'll be thinking, morning beautiful angel. The one time you sent him a good morning text with a heart he analyzed it so long that he never replied back to you.

☆ The second he figured out how to use personalized ringtones he made yours something soft and sweet. Most likely with violins or maybe with a harp.

☆ A couple times while he was bored during a meeting or class he wrote your initials in cursive in his notebook. One time he wrote it on the front of his notebook by accident and had to throw that one away. Which honestly made him sad because he really liked how it looked.

☆ When you confess to him it's by accident and the way his face lights up is actually the most precious thing you've ever seen. He comes back down to earth slow and admits that he "feels the same." Under his breath of course but you heard and that's what counts.

☆ When you kiss him you instantly notice how small his lips actually are 🥺🥺 like you've stared at them before when he was eating and stuff but his lips are cute and so small. And he's so hesitant to kiss back. But then he does and you can kinda feel the tension leave him a little. His arms a little shaky as he supports himself. It probably looks like two middle schoolers kissing for the first time honestly. Right down to the sitting on the edge of the bed thing. But Levi's lips are so warm and he's such a naturally good kisser that you indulge for as long as you can.

[starlightrows]

Chapter 3 —The Process

The Mother Master List

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Pairing: Jango Fett x fem!reader

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: Fluff, a hint of angst, medical jargon, non explicit discussion of IVF treatments, early pregnancy

Summary: You and Jango settle into your lives on Kamino and start taking the steps to get this cloning project, and your surrogacy in motion 

AN: There is a bonus chapter in between chapters 2&3, the writing process on it just wasn’t coming together despite working on it for months… it’ll come out at some point before the story is finished. Maybe for my birthday next year. Feel free to ask about it in dm’s or in the ask box!

Please note! This fem!reader has a name used for story telling purposes only, other than that she is left entirely up to your interpretation for appearance!

The apartment on Kamino is massive, to you anyway. A beautiful kitchen that’s been fully stocked, a sitting room with comfortable couches and a view of the raging oceans, a small storage closet where Jango keeps his armor, a small bedroom and a master bedroom. 

It’s more than you’d ever dreamed of given that you’d spent your life in shared spaces and servants quarters. Communal, not necessarily the cleanest, and certainly not the quietest given the number of people occupying the space. You’d only ever lived in open spaces like that, with thin mattresses and flimsy blankets, all of your possessions had to be kept on your body or hidden in your bedding. Not that the servants ever had many possessions to begin with. It’s what you were born into, so you were used to it. 

This moderately sized apartment was like a personal palace to you. Sure you’d spent your life working in a large household, with many rooms and frequent guests. But you never imagined you yourself would ever live anywhere other than the servants quarters. 

Initially Jango offered to let you have one of the rooms to yourself, despite already having shared a bed with you, he wanted to give you the option to set your own boundaries. You gently declined his offer. 

“To be honest, I’ve never actually slept in a room by myself,” you admit shyly “and I don’t know about you, but I’d like for us to have a space just for the two of us,” 

“I’d like that a lot cyare,” he seems to relax at your reassurance.

“Besides we’ll need that room for the baby soon enough,” you smile, imagining putting in a cradle and a rocking chair. Eventually replacing it with a little bed for the little boy who will someday grow into it. 

That seemed to quell his worries, and there was no more talk of separate rooms. You enjoy sleeping next to him on the large, comfortable bed in the master bedroom. You feel safe waking up in his arms, and hope you’ll  get to wake up this way everyday for a very long time. 

The only problem with the lovely apartment are the obnoxious white walls and bright fluorescent lights that seem to make your menstrual headaches unbearable. And you’re not the only one who’s suffering. 

“I’m gonna install different lights when I have the strength to stand again,” Jango grumbles from his place on the floor of the bedroom. 

“I’m just gonna turn them off when I can move without blacking out,” you groan in reply from the bed. 

Shortly after arriving to Kamino, you met the medical staff that would be performing all of the procedures and taking care of you during your pregnancy. You had to remind yourself that these people are experts in cloning and fertility, despite their intensely creepy and overbearing nature. You hope that Jango was serious about being with you for the whole process, because these long necked creatures, with their massive soul devouring eyes, do not bring you a lot of comfort or assurance. 

The head doctor that would be overseeing your pregnancy and delivery informed you that their plan was to remove your contraceptive implant as soon as possible to allow your body to resume a normal menstrual cycle. Once your body has sufficiently acclimated to regulating your hormones without the implant, the doctors would give you a week long round of a hormone treatment that would thicken the lining of your uterus to prepare for the implantation of the embryo. They promised the procedures would be mostly painless and would guarantee a successful implantation. 

Unfortunately for you, “mostly painless” was a gross miscommunication of the fact that you were about to experience the heaviest and most painful period you’ve ever had, following the removal of the implant. You’ve already thrown up twice from the cramps, bled through more menstrual absorbents than you ever believed possible, and have found yourself unable to move from the fetal position on the bed.

Jango is doing no better. The Kaminoans decided in the same week that he needed to begin making DNA donations immediately in order to have not only the embryo for your surrogacy ready, but the first batch of clones as well. That meant a massive blood draw, a spinal tap, and some other fairly invasive and uncomfortable procedures that have left him feverish, sore, and extremely weak at the moment. At first he tried to lay down with you on the bed, but he found the cushion of the mattress to be too much, for some reason the flatness of the floor was more soothing to him at the moment.

What a pathetic pair the two of you were. Your first few days living together...being together as a couple and you’re both trembling, in pain, ill and unable to provide the care and comfort you’d both like to. 

Luckily within the next day or so he does regain his strength and the fever passes, he does change out all the lights in the apartment in exchange for softer ones that ease your headache and makes the pristine apartment feel more like a home, and he does his best to help you through the last days of your uncomfortable and lengthy period. 

You’re quite impressed with his ability to anticipate your needs. You wonder if he has a mother, sisters, or if any of his former lovers had menstrual cycles this harsh. Either way you’re grateful for his willingness to refresh your water, apply heating patches to your lower back, and bring you food. He gifted you with a holopad to watch films, listen to music and read. And he’s warming up to cuddling too, but you’ve realized it either doesn’t come easy to him or he’s holding back for some reason. At least when he’s awake, when you lay together in bed at night and when you take up in the morning, he’s always got an arm around you. But he’s more hesitant and restrained during the day. You make a mental note to ask him about both of those things at some point. 

Eventually your cycle ends, and you feel like yourself again. The Kaminoans want you to wait until you’re halfway through your next cycle to start giving you the hormone treatment to get your uterus ready, and that suits you just fine. So you spend your free time walking around Tipoca City, and enjoying Jango’s company when he can spare it. They are keeping him quite busy working on creating training protocols, and finding instructors to teach soon to be created clones. 

To his credit, Jango does not exclude you from this aspect of his life here on Kamino. You’re welcome to participate if you’d like, but you find it all rather boring. So you find yourself walking the halls and watching the turbulent ocean waves that crash up onto the full length windows that line the city walls. They’re terrifying and exciting, and nothing like you’ve ever experienced. 

Jango promises to take you to other planets when things are a little more settled here. Once the project is well underway he promises to show you mountains, forests, open plains and even snow. Snow is something pretty high up your list of things to see. 

“I’m going to hold you to that promise,” you tell him one evening laying beside him in bed “Let it be known, here and now that when I’m pregnant you won’t keep me cooped up in this apartment,” 

“Have I ever broken a promise I’ve made to you?” He asks pulling you closer, you kiss his cheek and giggle

“Not yet,” 

Your week of hormone treatment goes by relatively quickly, you’re anxious but excited as the week comes to an end. In a mere matter of hours, you’ll be going back into the med bay to have the teeny little embryo implanted into your uterus. You’ll be pregnant. Something you longed for your whole life. Jango seemed a little anxious too, like it’s too good to be true. 

Just like he promised, Jango accompanies you to the medical center and waits outside the examination room while the embryo implantation procedure occurs. The doctors ask you to stay on the table with your hips elevated for 30 minutes, thankfully the creepy Kaminoans leave and allow Jango to come in to sit with you instead. 

He strokes your hair and smiles lovingly at you, “I’m sure I already know the answer, but do you feel any different?” he asks 

“Ya know, the only thing that feels different right now is that a bleached rib bone looking creature just took a good hard look at my lady bits. Kind of wish that procedure could have been done by a medical droid instead,” you whisper to him. He stifles a laugh, trying not to make too much noise. 

“You’re terrible,” he chuckles, continuing to stroke your hair. 

“I kind of can’t believe this is all real,” you say softly gazing up into his dark eyes. “Just over a month ago I was still on Kuna. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. And now-”

You place your hands over your stomach. It feels no different but you know. You know right this second the tiny ball of cells that will soon be a child is latching on to you to grow and be nurtured until he’s ready to be born. Jango places his hand over yours and laces your fingers with his. 

“You’re gonna be a good mother Farrah,” he whispers leaning down to kiss your forehead. His large hand cradles your head, you feel small under his soft lips. But you also feel strong and confident, ready for this challenge and this commitment. 

The next few days after the transfer you don’t feel any different either. The doctors assure you that it’s normal and you’ll begin feeling symptoms soon, but you’ll have to wait two weeks for a positive pregnancy test anyway. But you can’t help feeling anxious, this baby means everything to Jango, and now to you as well. You try to take things easy while you wait; enjoy your walks around the city, read about all the different places in the galaxy you hope to visit, spend time walking through the empty barracks that will soon be filled with hundreds of thousands of mini Jango’s all learning and growing together, and doing everything the doctors tell you to do.

At the end of the first week Jango can tell you’re getting antsy and nervous at not feeling any symptoms of early pregnancy yet. As much as he wants to tell you it’s fine and not to worry, he’s worried too. If the implantation isn’t successful, obviously there is the option to try again. But if conception continued to be unsuccessful… well that was something he hadn’t thought too much about. He’s already told you that if you didn’t want to proceed with the pregnancy that he would relent and allow his son to be born via a gestational chamber. 

But this last month and a half being with you, he hasn’t felt this comfortable or relaxed in years. And maybe part of that is the surplus of money in the bank and being occupied with tasks that involve less danger, but a bigger part he’s sure of, is you. Every morning you’re awake before him, too used to a life of waking up before the sun to start working, and making caf in the kitchen. You’ve learned that he always takes his caf with just a little bit of cream to take off the bitter edge. You make the bed every day, he never realized how much having the bed made makes a difference in quality of sleep. You greet him when he returns to the apartment each evening and tell him of all the incredible things you’ve discovered in reading from the HoloNet you now have access to. You make home cooked meals, something Jango really hasn’t had since he was a child. And every night you kiss him, even if it’s just a brief peck on the lips. It’s just as electric and warm as that first kiss back in the bar. And he always wants more. 

All these little things about you, he would be hard pressed to let them go. He doesn’t want you to go. And he’s afraid that if you’re unable to conceive you’ll want to leave this place and move on from him. Even in this short time he can already feel himself getting attached, growing roots that seem to curl into you, wanting to keep you close. For now he pushes those thoughts away, it’s still too early to tell. 

In the meantime, the first batch of embryos for the cloning project have matured enough to be transferred into gestational tubes, and the second and third batches seem to be growing at a healthy rate as well. You’re fascinated by them, often sneaking into the labs where the gestational tubes are housed just to look at them. The room is dark and quiet, hundreds of cylindrical tubes illuminated by soft red light, with a singular tiny little blob in each tube suspended in clearish liquid that radiates warmth. Sitting in this room simultaneously makes your heart ache but also comforts you immensely. It’s the only place other than the apartment you really want to be for the time being. 

On the 11th day after the embryo transfer you are relieved to wake up to cramping and a touch of nausea. A quick trip to the fresher reveals that you’ve begun spotting. You’re so happy you could cry, it worked. You feel it in your heart more than anything else, but you know the embryo has implanted and that you are pregnant. You decided not to mention your recent revelations to Jango, you still have to wait another three days to take an official pregnancy test and you’d rather get his initial reaction when you know for sure that it’s true. Your visit to the incubation room feels different that day. Your heart doesn’t ache in anyway. All you feel is joy and excitement for your baby, and for each and everyone of one the little embryos that seem to be doubling in size each day.  

Of course, the official test comes back positive and you can honestly say it is the happiest moment of your entire life, to know for certain there is life within you. And the look on Jango’s face is priceless. Pure elation in the form of the widest more genuine smile you’ve ever seen, a deep hearty laugh that seeps into your soul, and a kiss unlike any the two of you have shared before. 

Chapter 4  →

Tag List:  @escapedthesarlacc @paige6768 @littledragonlady @adancedivasmom @thefact0rygirl @heybub

[serendipity-flow]

Why Jikook is suspicious

So, i was watching some reaction videos of jikook moments and I agree when some people say "they look really close friends".

If you look only at stage performances, basic back stage interaction without any context they look extremely friendly. Before I go on, I wanna highlight some stuff

I dont know if they are ACTUALLY a couple, but obviously they have a different kind of connection

I consider Jimin a thoughtful friend, who wanna be there for all his friends. Like... Extremely caring. Really.

Jimin is flirty. He loves to flirt and this is obvious

I dont consider some stage interactions, like the end of Stay Gold cause they always, always look at each other, wich makes me thinks that its part of their performance.

I dont belive in fan service within BTS members. I belive they actually love and care for each other and dont have a problem showing it.

I consider this moment extremely honest.

But, getting back.

We can see all of them engaging in skinship. Being flirty, touchy and honest caring through others members.

But what i found it weird... Members reaction:

Theres a lot of videos ok RM changing the subject as they get too intimate during interviews, J-Hope gently pushing Jungkook away from Jimin in events or backstage, Tae getting in the middle of them or saying clearly with gesture "split up". When you see a Jikook moment, look for members reaction. Theres a lot of times that RM pulls a tired expression, that J-Hope start giggling, Yoongi looks uncomfortable and mostly Jin just look like "here we go again..."

Some fans says that Jikook arent that close. If they arent close (which i think its a absurd to say), why BTS get so worried when Jikook are Jikooking? Even if they are not at a concert or a live, if theres cameras, someone will at least LOOK weird at them until they stop what they are doing.

A key moment for me it was on that ALMOST KISS we saw last year. J-Hope says in the moment "can I have the camera please?", so we cant see what happend after Jimin bends down at JK.

Up until now, I haven't seen any reactions like that with other "couples/shipps". Theres a "dont do it on camera" vibe going on.

Oh course, theres a lot of clear support as well. J-Hope especially. Isnt always that they stop ou separate them, but it happens.

The level of intimacy

As I said before, they're all intimate to each other. Thats beautiful and I love it. BUT... Some skinship in Jikook are a little bit... To comfort?

When we look at Rose Bowl, we can see that Jimin dosent pulls him away, nothing changes, besides que starts laughing or crying after Kookie does something in his ear. This is casual. Extemely casual.

Theres another moment when they hold hands at the ending of a concert. Ok, nothing wrong about that BUT Kookie thouches his arm firts, then goes to Jimins hand. Guys... Thats casual. Holding hands is something that they PROBABLY do pretty often, cause when we see Jikook doing, looks extremaly casual even with more touch/in a romantic way.

Jimin doesn't feels weird about jumping on Kookies back, and when Jimin speaking to him, on his back, in JKs ear or neck, we dont see strong reactions. Probably, Jimin does that a lot.

I could go on and on about every single "type" of skinship they do, but I guess you understand: its pretty obvious to me that they are extremely intimate and COMFORTABLE when it comes to showing affection. Like its done everyday. So casual as they seeing "it was 4 in the morning, I was with JK", "we went to bed after 5 in the morning, JM was playing on his phone", "should I set the my alarm?"- when Jimin said on Hobi birthday live that he wouldn't wake up next morning.

Context

Its impossible not to bring GCF in Tokyo here. Like COME ONNN

Jungkook paid as a gift for Jimin Bday

Once Jimin said that if he had some spare time, he would spend with JK

They sleept in the same room and a lot of people says there was only one bed.

The whole video its Jimin being himself -he doesn't knew that JK was posting it

The f* lyrics and the singer being a gay icon when JK always look the lyrics and cares about the meaning of a song before using it

Looks a lot like a lovers video.

I mean... COME ONNNNN

Besides GCF, we have other moments that seems, I said SEEMS, that cant be explaining with friendship.. Like when JK almost faint at a concert in Chile, and we see JM running like a crazy through the backstage, not saying hi to the cameras, not answering to Hobi that calls for him. He was desperate. After, we see everyone in the room with JK receving treatment, JM was already there, and when RM says that they should get out, JM is the only one who stayed and the medical team was undressing JK. We can say that JM is caring, but I haven't seem this behavior with his other friends.

Other point on different behavior is that JK don't share his clothes. But we already seen Jimin using his hoodies, jacket and t-shirt. JK is able to wake JM when RM doesn't even try anymore.

ANYWAYS

Its all just thoughts, speculation and stuff that are stuck in my head. Im not saying that they ARE A COUPLE, but its obvious for me that there's something more to it. And just so we can ens this TEDTALK, i love them both so much as persons and artist. They are amazingly pros.

[hmslusitania]

i was back on a different kind of bullshit last night so have this fusion au I'll never write

Look, so, it's the 1940s.

Buck gets drafted. Eddie doesn't for various health reasons.

Eddie signs up for an experiment.

the programme is at least partly organised by Agent Maddie Kendall (i know, but trust me, he's just overseas and then later he's just dead it's fine). And see, because there's such an age gap between Maddie and Buck, Eddie doesn't know she's his best friend's sister, and Maddie thinks to herself "surely there is another Eddie Diaz" and so neither of them make the connection.

Eddie, obviously, becomes Captain America

And ends up in the USO

Which he hates because he's an introvert, but he's also really good at it, he'd just rather be doing something worthwhile. Anyway, he's doing a show in Italy and discovers that he's performing for the 118 and hey wait that's Buck's unit, hey wait they all got captured.

And so he goes to the colonel and to Maddie and is like "My best friend's unit got captured" and Maddie's like "hey! it was my brother's unit too!" and they finally figure it out in a very spider-men meme, but anyway, Eddie goes and breaks out the 118, including one Howard "Howie" Han (this is 80% of the reason this was in my head) and together they become the Howling Commandos.

Buck is reluctant to join on account of being pissy about Eddie being in danger (again) and also he's pretty sure Eddie and Maddie are flirting and for whatever reason that makes him kinda want to die on the inside

at some point he tries to be like haha you're flirting with my sister man and Eddie just like points him at the corner where Howie and Maddie are gazing deeply into each other's eyes and Buck's in a better mood after that

Anyway, then there's the train.

And then Eddie goes into the ice.

and wakes up much earlier than 2011 but he's handed into SHIELD supervisory custody with Agent Shannon [Surname redacted] and wouldn't you know it, they strike up a relationship which is against the rules, and wouldn't you know it but turns out the folk legend in the background of SHIELD about Project Rebirth, ah, separating the captain from his men if you will, not true.

And well, eventually, things implode and fall apart and then aliens invade and it's just like, it's a whole thing.

After the aliens, after Norse gods, after after after, Eddie ends up working for SHIELD in DC in his capacity as Captain America, and on a morning stress run, he runs into a ghost.

Not a real one, of course although considering the state of the world, that's probably a solid possibility. But the other guy running stress laps around the Mall at dawn looks exactly like that other Howlie, Howie Han.

"Nah, Howie was my grandfather. I'm Chimney," Chim tells him, and a friendship is struck.

Rounding out their trio for the sake of this AU is Lena, but see there's this problem.

Another ghost, another relic from the colder days, known only as the Winter Soldier.

they wanted machines right someone who could turn a switch and not be human anymore and that's not him it's not but how can he remember when they go out of their way to just overwrite all his memories all the time and the screaming that echoes in his head all the time is his own but

And the Winter Soldier is tearing through them, just rendering all of SHIELD basically useless, ostensibly took out Director A. Grant and everything.

But when they come up against him, the Winter Soldier's muzzle gets knocked off and really it's amazing what counts as a memory trigger, but Eddie saying his name works pretty damn well

the flashback, of course, isn't "I'm with you 'til the end of the line" it's "You can have my back any day" and the line when Eddie's almost dying trying to get through the Winter Soldier programming is "I said I've got your back, Evan" and well

When Buck drags him out of the Potomac (or was it the Anacostia? doesn't matter) Eddie is conscious enough to keep him from running, and instead they flee the dregs of SHIELD together, and hole up in the safehouse where Christopher lives, and it's that ultimate show of trust, placing him in the same house where he keeps his son, that breaks through the last of Buck's programming, and the fact that they've been just stupid in love with each other since like 1936 is allowed to surface, and they get to step aside from this awful life they've lived, together, on their own terms.