#and im really starting to resent him for it and im getting angrier with him and i dont want that. but if he doesnt stop doing things

[pearlsinoystersflesh]

A Train Back to London.

ellabs x reader.

part two.

warnings: toxic ellabs, insults, mentions of abuse, drugs and drugs on top of drugs, smut, angst, daddy and mommy (?) issues, this is a lot about the build up to the first part, corruption, ellie and abby are loosely built off of joe goldberg, nothing im writing is romanticized.

it really wasn't your choice.

you grew up surviving on scraps, barely, with an alcoholic father who was absolutely no help. you liked to believe he tried- your mother only stayed so you had a father, but you always thought it'd be easier to love him if they were divorced. still, your mother wasn't perfect, but how could she when she gave birth to children with the same blood as her abuser?

it was always harder for you. being so understanding, you listened- you began to take the role of your father, you began to sympathize with him. all the abuse became nothing, and fast. it was normal to you. it was normal to see.

and so when they offered you a place away from all of that, when they offered you luxury and money and love that wouldn't hit you, you took it. because it was all you ever longed for. the bruises were getting exhausting to defend. your skin cleared up.

and the first ever time they saw you- at a lunch table, alone, twirling and braiding your own hair while ignoring the presence of the cheap school lunch sitting cold infront of you- oh, you couldn't forget it. it was when they decided you were weak, you needed fixing, you satisfied that hungry craving that left a you shaped void inside them. and looking at them was like looking into your future- one where you'd look forward to every waking day.

so how did you end up here? in abbys room, tears streaming down your face, practically drowning you. you suddenly wished for you pathetic excuse of a dad.

"you do nothing, and you get away with it! isnt that enough? isnt being away from home enough, having people who love you?!"

the mention of your home makes you pause, the tears the only moving thing on your body. until she steps forward and your body starts working again all too fast, and you flinch back. she scoffs.

"have we ever hit you?"

the question is much less a question and more of a scolding. you shake your head no. she gets in your face, grabbing onto your collar. it surprises you, because abby was supposed to be the nice one.

"dont fucking act scared. if you were scared, you'd listen."

you let out a choked sob like its the only thing your body has the courage to muster up. and the sound of the door opening and ellie pulling abby off of you is like the heaven chimes. you can't face abby- your body wont let you, and thats one more thing you've lost control of.

but that wasn't the only time, no. abby only grew angrier with you, like your breathing was too loud and you were peering over her shoulder. you had stopped trying to convince her to lay off the drugs. you had stopped trying to convince her to be less like your father.

the days were long and the nights were short. you slept in ellies bed, for abby was too angry with you and you were hurt enough without the needles that would inevitably poke your feet. ellie was gentle, because she saw how abby was, she saw how hurt you were. she saw your situation.

and the weeks passed like this- abby was either present or not, high or sober, angry or ignorant. and you decided at once you were a lot like the mother you resented for so long because of the man she picked to love her kids. you picked up the phone. you called your father.

he was sober. not officially, and certainly not forever, but for this moment you two talked, he was sober. he was still angry, still a peice of shit, but also a lifeline. he was blood. fuck, you were his blood.

you only asked him how he was doing, how work was, how mom was. you almost wanted to hear her, to know she was alive, but you couldn't stand to call her.

your bedroom door opens and you hang up. its ellie.

"i was listening in."

she steps towards you. she grips your shoulders.

"abby will come around. she isn't like your father, she's just lost."

she whispers, her tone meant to soothe but hell does it sting. your eyes burn with tears and you nod, allowing your body to be pulled into hers for a long, long hug.

and back to the present day- the needles on the floor in abbys room grew less and less and she could finally stand you again. ellie had a talk with her, that spoke for itself. but you weren't upset, you had abby back.

but still, you hadn't had sex with her for weeks. or ellie, because you were so distraught. and so now, walking shamefully to ellie's door to knock, squeezing your knees together, you speak like you were actively hunting out your voice.

"...you busy?"

ellie turns from her laptop. fuck, she already knows whats up with you. she nods, but pats her thigh, and you immediately discard your panties and whatever lost item was worn over it, and situate yourself on her rough thigh. you rock your hips, fast, as ellie types away. it doesn't take long for you to cry, but not out of pleasure. your hips still and you drop your head onto ellies shoulder. you're sobbing.

ellie freezes. she stops. she picks you up, laying you down onto her bed. she starts at your temple, kisses you once, and tells you its okay. she moves down, sucks on your neck, and tells you how perfect you are. she moved to your stomach

"-and we'll take care of you, shh"

already being bare, there was nothing for ellie to pull off before her lips attach to your clit. you dont yell out; but relax. she moves slow, like her goal isnt to make you cum, but to help you relax. she licks in strips, and you whine slightly, your body too weak to climax, so when you push her head off even before you cum, she doesn't push it. she knows your tired. she lets you sleep, wipes you off, and tucks you in. you're in that lucid state.

the morning comes too fast for comfort, but you have nothing to do and neither does abby. ellies out, running, and abby holds you tight on the couch, a forgotten movie playing in the background. she had thought of fucking you, 'course she had, for she was still mad, just that she could now bear to be near you. but alas, this was better, just holding and being held. there was no power trips, no roles you were stuck in- just fresh, clean air and the only thing you had to do was breathe. she could feel the anger slipping off of her as you lay there, murmuring about what you did those last few weeks she wasn't talking to you. she listened to you recap and for the first time, it seemed that she cared.

the days continue to carry on, and they become lighter, less of a burden to carry. ellie and abby both talk to you, the needles become mere cigarettes you all share or joints you help each other roll. it seemed good. it seemed so good. but all good things come to an end.

it started one afternoon, you came home after going out with your friends. you didn't tell them, and they grew worried. you came home late, tipsy, and it set them off.

"you can't go out this week. at all."

it was ellies command, and abby was too worried about you to defend it. she just sighed, rubbing her temples and pacing. so, for the next week, you stayed inside the penthouse, counting down the days till it hit the seventh.

that was the first occurrence. it became more drastic, until you weren't allowed to drink. then it was smoking. then they cut down the money you got weekly, then it was your friends, you were prohibited from seeing them. they had access to all your socials. but the final straw was when ellie passed the law that you couldn't leave the house without one of them, and installed a ring bell for further protection.

it dawned on you how much of your freedom had been stripped away, how many people you had lost and how many concepts had become forgotten. it was unhealthy, driving you crazy. you packed. you left.

you decided london was the place to go- wasn't it beautiful? you had more than enough saved up for a hotel and decent food, even some clothes. the train ride there was exhilarating, it was beautiful and you were alone, and for once it was by your own will.

you didn't make it to london.

ellie and abby found you. of course they did- they had men everywhere. even at one of your stops, and you couldn't fight it no matter how bad you tried.

that was a week ago. now, sitting up against the backboard of the bed they had left you on, the tears sting your eyes and your freedom dissipates, once again.

ellie and abby get back, the door slamming open and shut again. you immediately sit up.

"what did you do?"

they dont answer. you swallow, pulling your panties back on and moving forward.

"please, abby?"

at least abby would answer you, you thought. but ellies the one who spins around, yelling in your face.

"we didn't fucking kill her. thats what you want to hear?! we threatened her, kay?"

your eyes are wide and wet, your hands shaking at your sides. ellie shoves you back, pushing you into the wall. abby steps infront of her, and ellie backs off. she speaks to you from the other side of the room.

"you are not as special as you think you are."

abby shakes her head disapprovingly at ellies words. you sigh, breath shaky. you hold yourself, moving over to put your skirt back on. abby looks at you like she's about to ask if you want a bath, like she wants to make up for the lack of aftercare, but she doesn't, because you leave the room. you'd sleep in the guest room that night, of course equipped with cameras because, well... you couldn't be trusted.

nothing ever really went back to normal, at least not in the next few months. ellie tried apologizing for shoving you but never took her words back. abby tried apologizing for hitting you but never finished you off. you slept in the guest room until it became yours. you couldn't forget how close you had been to freedom.

the walls lining the room served as a reminder that you were caged in. your girlfriends were all you were destined to know. your life was a lost concept. you, in fact, you were lost, as well.

[rini-rushed]

right here.

☆ sae x reader! (gender not mentioned)

★ comfort | college au

sypnosis -> reader is losing it after an assessment, feeling like they can't be saved, someone steps in to remind them just what the fuck they've been living like.

notes: this might be really edgy.. but like im 14.. can i get a pass for it

i listened to 'liquid smooth', 'my september' memes, 'loveit' while writing certain parts

you can feel it.

it's here.

that unsettling feeling, the hot bubbles popping underneath your skin. your throat closing in. the hotness in your cheeks, under your skin your blood ran like molten lava.

rushing to somewhere to erupt all of your frustrations.

to erupt from your heart.

this past week has been nothing less than numbing, now you can't even function properly, simple things have been grabbing and scratching your skin.

your eyes glossed over with a tragic gel, reflecting the scene of the thin, two paged packet in your hand, in red ink scribbled lines and circles from your professor.

78%

daggers of your own insecurities started to dash into your heart, weakening the grip of the papers that was being held within your hands, you could feel the paper under the pads of your fingers grow warmer with your body heat.

you stared so intensely at your paper you might as well burned it with your vision, a cold feeling manifested inside your hands, coating your skeleton with this animalistic urge.

the want to thrash at this object in front of you grew stronger and stronger.

wrinkles started to imprint themselves on the paper, crinkling the once flat face into one of frustration and aggression.

your frustration and aggression.

the more you looked at the first page the more your insides started feeling unstable, like someone planted some bombs in your vessel of a body, waiting for you to explode from the inside.

as the lava infected your hot lungs, boiling your blood and sweat, evaporating your bodily evidence of your so called hard work, you could feel your vision cloud up, start to distort and water and it only made you angrier.

The hot magma had apparently reached one of the planted bombs because suddenly your moist and musk despair was suddenly overwhelmed with the heated resent of your failure, setting your insides on fire as the aggression picked up.

a hoarse and ugly croak was ripped from your once angelic chords, now burnt with your rage as you crumpled the paper once and for all.

with hot hands you slammed the paper away into the trashcan, hitting the table against your guilty knuckles.

you don't care for the spike of pain that came from the blunt hit, your heart beat deafens your physical pain and numbs you. suddenly your hear foot steps against the floorboard, you don't react.

you don't even spare your stinging knuckle a look as you brought your hands to your face, your own limbs bending into the silhouette of your visage to create a mask, censoring your face in shame.

crouching over your body crumpled underneath you, on your knees, at the mercy of no one, you fought the urge to tear out your hair.

then you felt a person next to you, you know who, and it doesn't comfort you at all. you just want to disappear, after all, if you can't even get a good score after all that work, just what the hell were you really doing? sae will tell you.

sae will tell you that you've been rotting these past few weeks.

his gaze isn't stern nor does it push on your fragile body, it just merely looks, he doesn't push his existence into your mind yet.

"what happened."

you don't reply, choking silently (or as silent as you can be) on your jagged tears, puncturing your throat.

when you don't answer him, he shifts in his spot, looking at you and your disheveled appearance, it really did hint at the hell you were pushing yourself through for these past few weeks.

in the shared space as of late, for sae, it was like living with a restless spirit, he'd be reading on the couch when your tired figure dragging itself throughout the halls, your sunken eyes dirty with exhaustion,

even now as he gets look at you closely, he sees your chapped lips, your messy hair, eyebags that were painted under your eyes to undermine just how bad your sleep has gotten.

he wasn't gonna lie, you were hard to look at.

but thats because every time he looked at you, he was reminded of how badly you were treating yourself. how much you've been neglecting your own needs for the sake of your assignments.

he then turns his head away from you, putting a light hand on your shoulder, you could barely feel the weight of his palms.

"you can't possibly miss the fact that you've destroyed yourself these past weeks."

as those words fall upon your ears, you close your eyes tighter, feeling beads of tragedy roll down your cheek more and more. your shoulder shaking a bit as you sniffled.

feeling you tremble under his palm only squeezes his heart even more, to see you in this fragile state, this sick state you've cornered yourself into.

"and you can't possibly expect anything good to come from this,", his eyebrows bunching together slightly, tilting his head so he could at least peek into your vision.

you just wanted to hide yourself even more, getting hit by a block of exhaustion, you peek at your tired hands, he moves his, ever so slightly rubbing your shoulder in awkward comfort.

"it wouldn't be fair." he adds.

but you worked so hard.

"but i worked so hard-"

"that doesn't matter, you've worked yourself to the bone, you're one the verge of getting sick if you aren't already." sae cuts you off sternly, his gaze turning from passive to more stern.

a moment of silence passes, staring at the ground in shame longer, you wiped away your tears using your sleeve, a sniffle and a shallow sigh passes, you slump your head in defeat.

"take a deep breath." he instructs, you follow, your lungs tremble as a lasting affect of your sobs, if it's even finished..

he lets you have a moment to yourself, a quiet moment as you recollected your memories, just what the fuck you've been putting yourself through in the supposed weeks that have passed.

for that minute or so, you just sit in defeat, wallow in your own blood, sweat, and tears. your own shame encapsulates and hugs you with it's rough and uncomfortable closure.

but then a hand reappears, it pulls you in, the jagged exterior then melts away into something you can enjoy, something you can rest within. well, it's not like he's going to give you a choice after this point, you need rest and comfort more than anything.

he softly pats your hair and as you weakly squeeze around him, sae reciprocates in silence, and you can only gratefully take the sensation of his body against yours.

you can feel it.

he's here.

★ 終わり ☆

might make a pt2

#anotherSHITassendingloloolol

tags: @mininji @tofumiarchives @tired-xyra-urstruly @ac3ss

@rinitoshiplzdateme @motchilyn @fishii-writes @reapkusho

oh and hi @zaephix i just thought id tagged you.. lmk if you dont wanna idm

[aemondapologistfrfr]

Aemond HCs

mix of sfw and nsfw ofc 

Warnings: 18+ my attempt at hcs 🫣 , mention of drugs, sexual themes

Authors Note: these are just my thoughts and opinions, if they vary from what you think that’s totally ok!!! so with that im not starting each thing with ‘i think’ im just speaking it into existence 🙂‍↕️🤗

Word Count: 500 -  if i end up adding more ill update this and prob just self reblog or something

                                         ᓚᘏᗢ

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

   sfw 

never understood why he didn’t get a dragon egg - caused a lot of resentment from a young age 

hated that rhaenyra’s kids got eggs - and love

he would go back to his chambers and cry after watching his brother and nephews train with their dragons  

needs to be the best at everything 

needs to know everything - will never admit to not knowing something 

will info dump about things he finds interesting

if he’s wrong he’s actually not 🙂

when he gets really angry he cries - and then gets even angrier 

claiming vhagar is his most proud moment - which was then overshadowed by his eye being taken - this was the night it was really solidified that viserys didn’t care about him (‘your king demands an answer’ don’t even get me fkn started!!!!!!!!!!) 

is vain fs - that hair is laid the waist is cinched - like man literally has a whole gem in his eye 

has other gems for his eye but wears the sapphire the most bc his mom gave it to him after he healed 

loves his mom but thinks she’s weak - he sees her in himself 

prides himself on his strength 

clean and neat 

everything in his chambers has a place 

hated you at first bc he thought you were perfect 

wants you to watch him train but won’t ask you 

brings you books he thinks you’ll like 

offers to read to you 

shows you vhagar and blushes when you shower him with compliments of how brave he was 

   nsfw

a secret switch - lucky you if you unlock sub!aemond

missionary and doggy only

but first time he lets you ride him he’s a changed man 

jealous fucking 

spanking

choking 

will tie you to his headboard 

overall just destroys you in bed

then gives you kisses and reads to you while you soak in a bath

modern additions: 

   sfw

has so many eye patches but only wears his all black one 

wears sunglasses in place of the eye patch from time to time 

fkn scifi nerd 100% 

also getting pc gamer vibes??

finds a lot of comfort seeing ppl w eye scars in his fav movies - and how all the girls react to it - but doesn’t think it applies to him

smokes cigarettes - lowkey hates the habit 

has an anon acct on goodreads and tears apart ‘best sellers’ - he’s always right tho

has both electronic and physical copies of books - prefers physical reading

prefers tea over coffee but still has both everyday 

   nsfw

drugs - just weed and he’s very particular about who he smokes with - will not buy from aegon 

orders toys and restraints online bc he doesn’t want to go into the store 

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

masterlist 🔌 

i couldve went on w this forever

taglist ✍️

@ka1afbr @ninihrtss @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @alexxavicry @misspendragonsworld @papichulo120627 @ashovertheriver @gabriella-aesthetic @moonymoo1 @faenyra @uwuuness @lizzylovebooks280501 @nostalgiagoth03 @multilover19 @summer-and-sunflowers @eternalwinters

[cakejerry]

I need to hear more on why you dropped BTS before

Ok. Tl;dr desperation for american validation beginning in 2017

Pretty normal scope of events actually.

1. Fucking hated spring day when it dropped, snoozer ballad, liked not today better. It doing so well on the charts only made me angrier. I had preordered both versions of the album and it turned out to only be a shitty repackage beating a dead horse (hyyh symbolism) into the ground. Stopped paying attention to their live shows as much but still kept up with the fandom.

2. Then boom they're being invited to billboard for a fake ass popularity stunt and everyone's acting like it's such a big deal. Bitch what the fuck is billboard? I genuinely dgaf. American validation desperation starts. I keep up with their releases even less. They're being cringe as fuck selling out to america and bringing in idiots to the fandom. I start hating the way namjoon is acting, as I look back on those days now he's trying WAY too hard with the aegyo and it's fucking annoying.

3. Bts outcast. I just... So cringe. So, so cringe. And everyone was acting so... Idk. People tweeting about jimin dying and laughing and making it blow up until there were actual billboard articles being written about it. Google it if you dont know what im talking about. Some of my tweets from the period:

4. Love yourself concept teasers drop. There's a bunch of random girls for no reason, giving all of them het plotlines in a story about friendship. Cringe. Someone tweets "dont sexualise their relationship with the girls don't disrespect them like that!" and someone replies "yoongis girl is going to eat his ass i can see it in her eyes" (very important to the narrative). I start feeling disconnected from jimin and start finding jungkook very attractive.

5. Dna teaser drops and im like ohhh this about to be good they're bringing retro back!! Turns out... They're going to be having the debut stage in america. I stay up with a friend all night watching it. Its exciting, but.... I don't care about america. I don't, i dont i dont. I truly dont. Oh yeah THE CHAINSMOKERS are on the album. I fucking hate collabs. I hate americans. But, whatever. The album is good. Like, really good. Serendipity is a jimin solo song, and I still love him despite my best interests. Best of me is good, pied paper is good, bojok is good, dna is GOOD... mic drop is fine, basic people are going to blow it up like they did with baepsae, but its okay. Im STANNING! But then the problems start arising.

6. Mic drop steve aoki. Need i say more. The lyrics... The sound... We get it, you're hardcore. You're embarrassed to promote colourful pop like dna. You're tough boys who misuse aave. Its so cringe. No one says anything about it. Great. The collab... WHO IS STEVE AOKI??? IDGAF!!!

6.5 deliberately leaving this one out just to check if anyone is still reading... The worst betrayal of my life *shiv gif*

7. And then... the american promotions. I stop paying attention completely. I start resenting everything. The way they look, the way they talk. Fans start making fun of a pic of jimin where it looks like he didnt cut his toenails. Rumors start circling that he got his chipped tooth fixed. I... Idk. It's the little things. I can't describe how awful the fandom space was, you just had to be there. The american influx was awful. Burn the stage drops. Another cash grab. People make fun of jungkook being sick. The love yourself concept feels hollow. I go back to wings and realize we have lost the plot.. hoseok is singing about his real life mother and people are creating theories about how it all relates back to the hyyh storyline. Jungkook is singing about how much he loves his hyungs and he didn't even write the words; rap monster did. I hate rap monster. Rap monster changes his name to RM- its less cringe to the americans that way. They change their logo- its minimalist now, to appeal to the americans. They're not the bulletproof boyscouts anymore. They're beyond the scene. Its hybe, not bighit. They're embarrased. They're changing themselves. They write all of their songs. (They really dont.) No but they do! We have to chart. (Inflate those numbers guys!) They're the only kpop group worthy of success. They paved the way! They write their own songs. We can tell! (Stream stream stream). Im completely removed. I only hear about them through 3rd hand sources. Bt21... Merch... Money.. sell... Buy... Book, movie, another repackage album, another movie, a game, another game, buy, sell, money.... I see the video of jimins voice breaking in fake love-- I laugh. Oh they made him show his abs for that comeback... Great. We only love him for his body, anyways. Oh, they're collabing with some random white bitch.... Okay.... Its called boy with luv?... But boy in luv will forever be MY baby. They're BIG now. People talk about them. They don't know them like I do. I don't know them like you do. Idol drops and I catch glimpses of it. Its.. too much. Its awful. Everyone calls it the worst song ever. Hearing snippets on the radio at the gym, im bound to agree. I hear nicki minaj's voice. Shout out to korea. Why is she here? What is going on. Why.. why are they doing this. This isnt bts. I hear dynamite on the radio in the grocery store- i only know its bts because of Jimin's disgusting awful dying cat voice. I post about it. Its funny. I love to hate. The song is shit. The song is being payolad onto the radio in my small ass country because bts fans are genuinely crazy. Steam. Inflate. Buy. Break records. Pave the way. NO multis, ONLY solo. Someone says borahae. I don't know what it means. A japanese group i like covers butter. I cant listen to more than 3 seconds of it- it sounds like shit. Its in english. Why is it all in english? The rhymes sound like a third grader wrote them. Is this what my.. my bts are releasing these days? Are they not embarrassed? They're decked out in gucci and lv.. it looks like shit. They look like shit. Theyre embarrassing themselves. Theyre everything they swore theyd never become. Theyre the people they made fun of. They neglect the korean audience. They stop promoting on music shows- its all special release this, single package that. But lets mass buy it. Lets show our love. Money. Money is love. Money will buy them leopard print and tacky sandals. Are they still the same bts i knew? No... No, they're not.

I remember a jhope fansite dying back in the day. I remember that I had never heard about her before, but I remember feeling devastated. I remember feeling connected to her. As I write this, I am praying that she is well. We all came together and shared our condolences. It wasn't an event- we didn't trend anything. But there was a feeling of remorse that day in the fandom. Of community. I remember huddling around the phone with my friend- I had just gotten a twitter notification from bts. They just finished a concert in their red bullet tour. They post a group photo. It gets 10k likes.

Now every time I listen to a bts song in public this flashes in my mind.

I hate bts.

[soidontbreak]

he fucking did it, again, last night.  worked me up, left me hanging. what’s worse, he told me he was planning to take care of it for me........ until i crossed some arbitrary line in the sand that he’d just put there, and suddenly nope, he doesn’t feel like it anymore, and it’s my fault.   so guess who had a breakdown in the bathroom last night, bawling her eyes out, trying not to wake him or the kittens up, not being able to sleep until after 3am. then got woken up at 8. and now has to function for the day taking care of the kittens, getting prepped for his grandma to move in for the week and helping her get settled, getting things ready to make a big supper, even possibly going to the gym bc he really wants to go.... all while still in the last stages of a fullblown ptsd breakdown, feeling numb, and upset, and frustrated, and angry, and exhausted mentally and physically, and can’t fucking focus on anything, while also having chronic pain flare up bc haha turns out having a mental health crash can affect your physical health, who knew?     and what’s worse is he noticed i was off this morning and had the fucking balls to ask what was wrong and what he could do to help, as though i haven’t told him multiple times that what he was doing was severely bad for my mental health.     y’know what? NOT FUCKING ACTIVELY AND KNOWINGLY TRIGGERING ME IS A GOOD PLACE TO START. 

[hawkwhore]

hi hi hi could i request a hawk imagine where it’s an enemies to lovers kinda thing, so hawk is still in cobra kai and y/n is in miyagi do. basically tori hurts her and he sees her after and gets protective over her, then they get close and kinda secretly date... something like that haha THANK YOUUU <33333

Do Better — Eli Hawk Moskowitz x Female!Reader

HI OMG IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I literally had an entirely different fic at like 8k words for this before I decided it didn’t fit close enough to the prompt and I just completely started over and this one was even longer than the first so that’s why it took me literal ages LOL.

includes; swearing, fluff, fighting, so much angst

words; 11,394 (im sorry its a whole ass novel)

this takes place late s2, after demetri and hawk’s friendship ends but before eagle fang forms!

Most of your time in high-school you spent in a bubble, keeping to yourself and just your few friends. You didn’t involve yourself in other people’s crap very often, but when an all-out karate war happened at the end of your junior year, you couldn’t keep lurking in the shadows anymore.

Bullying was becoming heavy at your school, and while you weren’t usually a target, you grew tired of watching other people get hurt. Primarily, by a familiar face to you-- Eli Moskowitz.

Not that you knew him particularly well, but you remembered the shy boy you’d shared classes with, and you always tried your best to be nice to him knowing how others treated him.

You never would’ve thought that now he’d be the bully, destroying the confidence of other kids who were just like him.

“Look at this kid,” He laughed to his friend, Mitch. The two boys were standing in the hall, hovering over a small, scrawny boy who looked terrified. “You wanna be in Cobra Kai? Well, see, we had to be un-flinched first. We can do that for you right now, though. See how much you can take.” He teased, threatening a punch, watching the boy wince at his movement.

When you were in the halls on your way to your next class, you witnessed this horrible incident. You watched for a moment, before deciding that it was time for you to step out of your bubble. “Hey, leave him alone.” You said annoyedly, urging the boys to give it up.

Hawk turned to you and leered, and Mitch pushed the kid against the locker so he wouldn’t move while they dealt with you. “Be careful who you talk to like that, princess.” He moved dangerously close, and despite the feelings of anger you had towards him, your stomach dropped a little at the nickname.

Not letting it affect you, you came back bitterly. “Oh yeah? And who am I talking to, Eli?” His face contorted in disgust at the use of his real name. “You know, it’s sad, how you became everything you used to despise. I remember the other side of you, you were sweet..” You said, smiling to your self in remembrance. “And now look at you.” Looking at him in resentment, you finished.

Turning angrily on his heel at your words, Hawk punched the boy in the face and let him go running. He looked back at you with a look of victory, and Mitch smirked. “You better watch your back.” Hawk said threateningly, and knocked his shoulder into yours as he walked to his class.

Through the rest of the day, Hawk thought about you. He knew who you were; Y/N, the only girl to ever be nice to him during his shier days. He remembered the feeling he got any time you’d talked to him, and also how pretty you looked each time you did.

He had almost forgotten until then, how much he had always admired you. He even wanted to ask you out all that time ago, but now too much has changed. Way too much, clearly, because when the commercial for Miyagi-Do came out, you were quick to join.

It was that interaction with Hawk that really set you off, actually. You wanted to be able to stop the cruelty, and you thought that joining Miyagi-Do for defense would be a good start.

Little did you know, the rivalry would only grow.

As weeks passed, Miyagi-Do gained students and flourished. But in the meanwhile, Cobra Kai only got rougher, angrier, and just.. worse, in general.

You had done your best to avoid fights, (like a true Miyagi-Do would) but on a particularly bad day of yours, you were unlucky enough to find yourself running into Tory outside of school.

Being close friends with Sam, you knew to stay clear of Tory after hearing what she did to her. You thought Tory was a vile human being, though, and if she were to start anything-- she was probably the one person you wouldn’t hesitate to absolutely destroy.

When on your way to the dojo, you took a pit stop at a convenience store to pick up some snacks since you had some time to kill between after school and when practice started. You were met with an unpleasant surprise on your way out, when you saw Tory approaching the store.

The two of you made eye contact as you crossed paths, and you decided to ignore her and keep walking. Until, as you walked past each other, Tory stuck out her leg and tripped you over the concrete pathway.

“Are you kidding me, bitch?” You pushed yourself up, scoffing at her, and she smiled maniacally. “What’d you just call me?” She teased, obviously looking for a fight.

As much as you wanted to stay calm, you were pushed over the edge. “You heard me, bitch.” You repeated, letting her know you were not afraid. “What’s your problem? I keep away from you and you just can’t help yourself from starting something. I’ve never even done anything to you.” You confronted Tory, looking for an explanation for her behavior.

It was true, you’d hardly ever interacted with her-- but since you’re in Miyagi-Do and friends with Sam, she just didn’t like you. And Tory being Tory, if she didn’t like someone, she was going to be a bitch about it.

She laughed at your attempt to reason with her, and looked at you in self-satisfaction. “I just think it’d be fun to watch you bleed.” She seemed proud at the insult, stepping forward threateningly-- but you thought it was pretty lame.

Clearly, she had no real answer for the questions you asked her. She was far gone in her own world, using only anger to dictate her decisions.

You had let out a disappointed sigh, shaking your head, and turned to simply leave the situation, remembering that it wasn’t worth it. But Tory had other plans.

She grabbed your wrist, twisting it painfully forcing your body to face her. You quickly rotated it to release yourself from her grip, and punched her in the face with your newly freed hand.

“Leave me alone, Tory. This fighting for no reason crap is bullshit.” You said, stepping out of her proximity and holding your fists up in case of needed defense. Tory felt blood trickle from her nose, and as she wiped it from her face, she threw you a sickening sneer.

Seemingly avid on letting her rage out on you, she only continued. “You’re pathetic.” She cackled, taking a swing at you. You blocked this, but the movement left an opening for her to then kick your stomach, which sent you to the ground.

Before you could manage to get up again, she was hovering over you, punching your face repeatedly. It wasn’t until the pain was sinking in that you finally gained enough power to push her off, rolling forward and pinning her down tightly.

You grabbed a fistful of her hair, turning her face towards the ground. “Give it up, Tory.” She stayed quiet, breathing heavily, until she used her remaining strength to free her arm and dig her elbow into your side.

You fell back at this, and you were now both sat on the ground, mere inches from each other. “Seriously, I mean what’s the point? What are you gaining from this besides a couple of bruises?” You stood up, asking again.

You genuinely wanted to know, what could make a person so heartless. You had done nothing to provoke her, yet she was so intent on hurting you. Your question had unfortunately only sparked her rage again, the way you acted so ‘above it all,’ in Tory’s mind made her only angrier.

She rose, charging towards you for another strike, when the owner of the convenience store came out. “What the hell is this? Do I need to call the police?” The man asked. He had caught you in the blocking position of Tory’s attack, and she bitterly pushed herself off of you.

“You got lucky.” She spat, walking back towards the store she was originally on her way into. “Think about it, Tory! Why?” You yelled as she walked away, wanting your final words to sink into her.

You assured the owner that you were fine, and that he didn’t need to get the cops involved. You took out your phone and checked your complexion in the front camera, cringing seeing the cuts and bruises from Tory’s punches all over your face.

But remembering the bloody nose you had given her in your first punch, you smiled to yourself. Looking at your phone’s clock, you had certainly killed the time, but much more than you had wanted to. You were going to be late, so you texted Sam, alerting her that you got in a fight (sparing the details for later,) and that you would be late to practice.

You figured you could just clean up your cuts when you got home, it wasn’t a big deal, probably. But on your walk to the dojo, a passing car slowed at the sight of you. You started walking faster, instantly assuming the worst, but when the window rolled down, you heard a familiar, extremely unpleasant voice. Hawk.

“On your way to practice, huh? Still no car?” He taunted, knowing you still hadn’t saved up enough to buy your own. You glanced at him and rolled your eyes, continuing to walk down the sidewalk. How many enemies were you going to bump into today?

That was when he noticed your face. “Jesus, Y/N, what happened to you?” He laughed, fully stopping the car. You halted and responded annoyedly, “Tory happened. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to be late.” Turning back towards the walkway, you continued down the street.

But before you could get far, Hawk had gotten out of his car and caught up to you. “You’re not seriously headed to the dojo like that are you?” He said confusedly, trying to keep up with your pace.

You looked at him like his question was stupid, and continued walking. At your ignoring of him, he pushed his point further. “You need to clean those cuts.” He said, still following close behind you as you walked.

“Since when do you care?” You said irritated, continuing to disregard the boy’s words. At this, he finally stopped following. “You know what, fine.” He stood, speaking sharply, and you looked at him curiously at his abruptness. “Just trying to help, or, be nice or whatever.” He muttered aggravatedly, raising his hands in mocking surrender at your attitude.

You had ignored his concerns, because quite honestly you didn’t believe he was actually concerned. You had assumed it was some sort of set up for a new insult, or a way to just mess up your face even more.

“Oh yeah? That’s pretty unusual for you, isn’t it?” You said rudely, engaging back in the conversation. Hawk pursed his lips together and shifted uncomfortably.

You didn’t know it, but Hawk still cared about you. He may have changed, but his feelings for you hadn’t— as much as he tried to get them to. And right now, seeing you hurt, and since there was nobody around to judge him for it, he wanted to help you.

“Look, I’ve got some first aid stuff in my car. Let me help.” He stayed where he was, not wanting to provoke you, and spoke softly, nudging his head towards his car.

You narrowed your eyes looking at him, feeling skeptical of accepting the invitation. He noticed your hesitation, but did not back down, looking at you expectantly for an answer.

You let out an exasperated sigh, and walked towards his car without saying a word. Continuing to argue with him about it seemed like a waste of time to you at this point.

Hawk smiled to himself in relief that you gave in. Hurrying after you, he retrieved the first aid kit from the trunk of his car and ran to open the passenger seat door.

“You wanna sit?” He pointed at the seat, motioning you to take it. You dropped your bag and got in the car, still glaring at Hawk.

He seemed sincere in his intentions, but you really just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Who knows what he could really be planning?

As you took your seat, you reached out to take the kit from Hawk’s grasp. “Hold on,” he said, moving the box away from your reach.

You gave him a bothered look, scrunching your eyebrows in confusion. “Have you ever even done this before?” He said, referring to cleaning up after a fight.

“No?” You shrugged, “It can’t be that hard.” You said impatiently, reaching for the box again. “Can you please just let me do it? I’ll show you how for next time.” He practically pleaded, wanting to make sure it was done right so you healed properly.

You didn’t understand why it was such a big deal to him, but you were tired of going back and forth with him. “Whatever, just make it quick. I’ll miss all of karate class at this rate.” You complained, moving closer to the edge of the seat so Hawk could reach you.

The height of his car made you two the same height, so Hawk was face to face with you as you were seated. “Hmm, miss a Miyagi-Do lesson? I don’t see the problem.” He joked, almost making light of their rivalry.

You smiled lightly at that, playfully rolling your eyes, but not saying anything. He stood close enough to examine your face, and it was close enough to make you both nervous.

It was silent as he opened the kit and started to clean your cuts, but you broke it to ask a question that was burning in you. “Why are you doing this?”

He looked at you for a second, looking reluctant to answer your question. “What do you mean?” He dodged, continuing to tend to your bruises.

You laughed, knowing full well he knew what you meant, but deciding to answer him anyway. “Why are you helping me? We aren’t friends.” You said plainly, making sure to keep your face still.

“I don’t know, you just obviously needed it.” He brushed off the seriousness of the question, starting to dab the cloth over your lip so you couldn’t talk.

You pushed his hand away lightly. “That’s hardly an answer. You’d never help a Miyagi-Do, so why?” You snapped, not letting his hand near your face again until he answered.

He finally took a step back, and stared at you looking defeated. “You’re the only one who was ever nice to me. Before.. this.” He pointed to his hair, referring to the era of The Hawk.

You crossed your arms skeptically. “Aren’t you forgetting someone?” You asked expectantly, and he rolled his eyes. “Demetri’s different, okay? He betrayed me. But you..”

He trailed off, struggling to maintain eye contact with you. “You were never anything but good to me. You deserve better.” He said, and your heart both stung and fluttered at once, trying to figure out what was going on with him.

You wondered if his actions were truly coming from a place of sincerity. It was very unlike him to be anything but an asshole, so hearing something like that come out of his mouth really made you think.

He tried to ignore the sentiment he had just said by walking back towards you and starting to tend to your wounds again, but you only pushed him back for a second time.

“I don’t understand what happened to you.” You said sadly, examining the way he stood. “I changed.” He said monotonously, trying to avoid matching your energy of seriousness.

His hot-and-cold temper was starting to annoy you, the way he would open up just to close right back down again.

“Yeah, and not for the better. Are you even happy?” You said, frustrated, looking at him hard. His face turned sour.

“More than I was before!” He yelled, stepping towards you threateningly. You were taken aback at his outburst, suddenly feeling small as he grew angrier. “My life was hell, remember?” His voice cracked, and he tried to calm himself as he saw the way you leaned back into your seat uncomfortably.

“Look, I’m sorry for keeping you, I probably cleaned you up enough so... just go.” He said softly, sounding regretful as he moved out of the way so you could get out of the car.

You furrowed your brows in confusion. You felt completely clueless on how he was feeling, and you didn’t want to leave it like this. “Hawk-“, you started, but he cut you off. “No, just go.” He pointed away. “I was stupid to think I’d get a second chance with you.” He muttered to himself, turning to walk around to the drivers seat of his car.

“Wh— second chance? What do you mean?” You shouted after him and hopped off the seat, grabbing his arm before he could get too far.

At your tug of his arm, he looked back at you with the most intense feeling in his eyes. Not wanting to use his words anymore, Hawk turned to grab your wrist from the hand that was already resting on his arm, and pulled you against him.

Hawk smashed his lips onto yours, holding you loosely in fear of your rejection. You weren’t expecting it, but you didn’t pull away. Your kiss continued and you subconsciously shuffled backwards, now being able to lean against the side of the car as he grew more passionate in his movements.

Being with him like this felt amazing, but it was confusing, too-- you had to pull away and clear up this situation.

Finally letting each other go, Hawk looked at you with glossy eyes. You had no idea where all of this came from or what to say, so you were silent as you waited for him to explain.

He knew what you were waiting for, and sighed deeply before expressing how he felt. “I just feel like after everything, I owe you my best.” Hawk said quietly, and you waited for him to go on, having not yet made up your mind on the whole situation.

You enjoyed the kiss, yes-- but you didn’t understand why it had happened, and that was something you needed to know before anything could proceed further. Hawk was a jerk, and he was going to have a lot of explaining to do for you to suddenly be able to forget that.

He moved even closer, and reached his hand out to brush your hair away from your face. “And I don’t like seeing you hurt.” He whispered, ghosting his fingers across the bruises on your face.

You felt a shiver down your spine as he touched you, closing your eyes in the moment. “And,” he pulled away from you, his voice changing to a more regular tone again, “I don’t ever want to be the reason you feel pain. Not after all those times you helped me escape mine.” He said, reaching out to hold your hand, as he referred to how you were there for him so long ago.

Pure concern and care for Hawk overtook you as the words left his lips, and you had never felt so conflicted in your life. It made sense to you now why he would often avoid you, whereas others he’d make it his mission to pick fights with.

He had just admitted to caring about you, and that he never wanted to be at fault for your hurt. He had a reputation to uphold, but he really did have a soft spot for you that never went away.

You felt like you were talking to Eli again, as though the sweet boy he once was had never left, but you also knew that once this moment was over, he’d go back to his corrupt ways again. And that terrified you.

All these new feelings for Hawk were rising in you, but how could you act on them when he was supposed to be your enemy?

He studied your expression, waiting for you to say something. He felt more confident now, seeing as you kissed him back, but he was still nervous for whatever you were about to say.

“What do we do?” You spoke shakily, your expression timid and lost. He caressed his thumb over your hand, noticing your own nerves. “What do you mean?” He asked, not expecting that to be your first question.

“I’ve always cared about you and you know that, but then you go through all these changes and become a total dick, and now you kiss me and tell me how you care too.” You say awkwardly, trying to point out the weirdness of the situation. “I’m confused, Hawk, and afraid. We can’t be together when everything about our lives will keep us apart.” You whimpered, scattering your eye contact.

His heart leapt at the mention of you two being together, but frowned once registering the context of the words. He suddenly felt guilty, seeing how distressed you were. Maybe he shouldn’t have done this, he thought.

But it was too late now, and as he released your hand to move forward and hold you, he never wanted to let go.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into your ear. He knew his recent actions since joining Cobra Kai weren’t exactly admirable-- he knew he should do better. But it was hard; and all he could muster right now, was an apology.

There was a lot to process in such a short moment of time, and you felt overwhelmed. You felt comforted and safe as he held you, but at the same time you felt wrong for feeling that way.

Maybe he was trying to do right by you, but would that be enough if he continued to act terribly when everyone else was around? You needed some time to think. “I should go.” You pulled away from his grasp, trying to be gentle even though your exit was abrupt.

“Oh,” he nodded, watching as you picked up your karate bag. “I just don’t want everyone at the dojo to worry.” You said, trying to rid the conversation of its tension.

He was trying to play it cool, but he was screaming on the inside, terrified that once you left you would never talk to him again. “Just promise you’ll fix that when you get home.” Referring to your still-slightly-messed-up face, he urged you, unable to refrain from making sure you took care of yourself.

You smiled sadly and nodded in response, feeling awkward about everything as you turned to walk back on your route towards the dojo. “And um,” You looked back at him once more. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.” You said, assuming he wouldn’t want his Cobra Kai friends to find out he had kissed a Miyagi-Do.

His heart broke when you said this-- you basically thought he was ashamed of you? In a way you were right, he didn’t want them to know. But the guilt that spread across his face at your words, showed how badly he wanted to tell everyone just how much he liked you.

Clearing his throat, he tried to pull himself together again. “Right, yeah. See you.” He said, and watched you for a moment as you walked away.

Getting back into his car, he fought the emotions threatening to spill out, and pushed them away as he headed home. He couldn’t stop thinking about his next move, and what would happen next time he saw you.

Obviously the first thing he would want to do is kiss you, and hold you, and touch you.. but he knew that instead he would likely end up being encouraged by his friends to attack you in some way.

He couldn’t just say, ‘back off guys, she’s cool, i like her now.’ because that would definitely earn him a beating and a seat at the rejects table. He had been fighting these feelings for so long because of this exact reason, and he was pissed at himself that he couldn’t have just kept it under control for longer.

It would have been easier for him, and you. Even you were worrying as you walked to practice about what you were going to do when you saw him again. Your friends may be more forgiving than Hawk’s, but you doubted they’d be particularly thrilled about any of this news.

They would surely tell you to be careful, not to trust him, that it was just a game to find a weakness in you. These doubts inflicted your mind constantly, and it sucked that you had to figure all of it out on your own.

You were a half-hour late to karate when you arrived, and luckily Sensei Larusso had the tools to heal the remaining injuries on your face. You explained what happened with Tory, but you didn’t tell them about Hawk.

Your classmates were angry, Sam especially, and you were too. But after everything, you knew nobody in Cobra Kai was really in their right mind. Tory was an out of control girl with aggression issues, and Hawk was constantly battling a feeling of pressure and pent-up rage.

The worst thing about being in Miyagi-Do, was knowing the right way to go, and knowing that the right way was going to be a long, slow, and difficult process. It was a waiting game at this point-- how many fights would it take for the Cobra Kai kids to realize that wasn’t what they needed to do?

How much pain would they all have to endure, to realize there were better ways to solve their problems? You had only hoped that Hawk taking this step towards you was a step in the right direction-- and that maybe the rest of the Cobras would soon follow.

But until then, it was a secret. And the next few times you saw Hawk were an extreme struggle for the both of you.

Each passing day that you’d make eye contact at school, you’d both immediately look away. Neither of you had spoken or even texted since the kiss, and you were both failing miserably at proper communication.

At first, you thought that maybe the whole thing had been a mistake, and maybe it should just be left alone. But recalling everything Hawk said to you that day, you couldn’t ignore how real it felt. You wanted to be with him, but you had no clue how to go about that.

You were waiting for Hawk to make the next move, but to Hawk-- the ball was in your court. You had left him there, with no definite answer on how you felt about it, and never got back to him since. It seemed to him like you wanted to forget about it, so when one of Moon’s parties rolled around that weekend, he decided to forget about it too.

You were coming to the party, but got there late; and what a wonderful sight it was for the first thing to see as you walk in be Hawk, face inches away from another girl’s, flirting the night away.

Of course, you thought, feeling disgusted at what was in front of you. Of course everything he said was bullshit. You couldn’t figure out for the life of you what his goal was in pretending to care for you, especially when he got basically nothing out of it except a stupid kiss he could’ve gotten from anyone-- but clearly none of it was as real as you thought it was.

It’d been a few days, sure, but you thought maybe tonight you’d finally just talk to him. You watched as the girl played with the string of Hawk’s hoodie, and feeling a pang of jealousy you decided to walk by them, making sure your presence was known.

It definitely worked, because at the notice of your movements he excused himself from the conversation and followed you out towards the pool, where you had gone to get away from the sight of Hawk and the girl.

“Hey.” He whispered, as you poured yourself a drink. “Hi.” You replied boredly with your back turned to him, not exactly feeling excited to have a conversation with him.

He looked around, scoping out who may be listening, but luckily the only others outside were heavily invested in the drinking game going on at the other side of the patio.

Hawk could tell you were bothered about the girl, but didn’t understand why, since you had so obviously been avoiding him.

“Can we talk?” He asked, still being cautious as to not attract any attention. “Go ahead.” You were being difficult, but quite frankly you thought he deserved it. He made you spend days analyzing what had happened between you, only for him to move on from it after a few days?

He stomped closer, and you looked up at him. “You know we can’t talk here.” He nodded his head towards the back of the yard, hoping you’d go with him somewhere private.

You scoffed, and looked at the spot doubtfully. You were upset, but still curious to hear what he had to say. “Fine.” You rolled your eyes, feeling disappointed in yourself for giving in, but you couldn’t pretend you weren’t dying to know what the hell he was thinking.

Hawk walked eagerly to the secluded part of Moon’s property, hoping to get some clarity from you. But before Hawk could say anything, your anger got the best of you.

“So what the hell is your problem?” You started, as soon as you knew you were out of earshot from the rest of the party. Hawk looked taken aback, his eyebrows immediately coming together. “Me? What are you talking about?” He said, offended.

You looked at him in disbelief, mouth dropping open slightly. “Are you joking? Are we going to pretend you weren’t just about to make out with that girl in there?” You said, feeling a twinge of hurt from your own words.

His face knotted in confusion and annoyance. “Seriously? You’re jealous right now? After I confessed everything to you, and you avoided me for days afterwards, I was just supposed to think you actually wanted me?” He tried to keep his voice down, but his emotions were getting the better of him.

“What? I just needed some time to think! It’s not like you bothered to text me either!” You whisper-shouted, now feeling like you were missing something.

“Well when you kiss someone and they basically run away from you, who’s responsibility do you think it is to reach out after?!” He threw his arms up in bafflement, looking at you expectantly.

Your face fell to a look of guilt, and eventually his did too. Suddenly you both felt like idiots at how far you jumped to conclusions.

“I was gonna talk to you today. But when I saw you in there with that girl, all these insecurities just came over me. I thought everything you said was just some Cobra prank and it never meant anything.” Your face drooped, feeling a little embarrassed to admit any of this.

His eyes saddened, and he shook his head. “And I just thought you hated me, and that no matter what I said it’d never be enough for you to forgive me.” He explained his own worry, and your eyes started to water at his words.

Feeling overwhelmed after finally being able to piece together what had been going on this whole time, you sprung into his arms, hugging him tightly. You both stayed embraced, enjoying the feeling of comfort from each other once again, until you finally felt strong enough to pull yourself away.

He kept a hand around your head, as though cradling something delicate. “I meant everything I said that day. It’s not a scheme. I want to be with you.” He told you, proving your suspicions wrong.

You smiled weakly, feeling warm at his confession, but nervous for what’s to come. “I’m sorry I never texted you, but I just don’t get how we’re going to do this.” You said, unconvinced. “We can’t tell anyone, and despite whatever we have, there are a lot more reasons why we won’t work than will.” You look away, your mood of happiness faltering at the idea of being realistic.

“I mean, you know I like you Hawk. And maybe it’s different for us, but, I can’t exactly support the way you treat other people.” You say reluctantly, trying not to sound rude. Hawk gulped, looking down shamefully.

Not wanting to think realistically right now, he ignored what you said and pulled you closer. “We’ll figure it out.” He said sweetly, and moved his hand to lift your chin, kissing you tenderly. As nervous as you were about all of it, the way he kissed you somehow seemed to make all your worries disappear.

Just then as your lips met, sirens went off nearby. “Shit, cops?” Hawk said, breaking apart from you. You giggled at the unfortunate turn of events. “You go that way,” you pointed him in the opposite direction of where you were planning to exit, not wanting others to notice you were together. “See you around.” You said playfully, and he caught on to your plan.

Before he could give you a final peck or even say goodbye, you were gone around the corner of the house, and he wondered longingly when he’d finally be able to kiss you again.

The next couple days at school you’d both done your best to avoid looking suspicious with each other. There were many stolen glances, and lots of private texts, but you both somehow managed to keep whatever fling you two had completely under wraps.

Though you had been initially uncomfortable with the whole secret-dating-thing, you eventually gave up on worrying about what would happen if others found out. You were happy, and having a lot of fun sneaking around with Hawk.

You noticed he had even toned down some of his bullying, and your heart felt full at the thought that he might have done that for you. Of course, there were always a few ‘slip-ups’.. but he made sure you weren’t around to see those.

Even if it was difficult, it was thrilling in a way-- having make-out sessions in his car when no one was around to see, and slipping in through each others’ windows at night to see each other... 

It was fun, pretending to hate each other by day, and then not being able to stay away from each other by night. It felt like the whole school was being pranked, and you two were the only ones in on it.

It had been a few weeks now since you admitted to liking each other at Moon’s party, and you were now headed to the sports shed near the soccer field where Hawk had asked you to meet him after school.

You’d came here and gotten a little wild with him twice before, so at the invitation you fully expected to be met with an aggressive Hawk, ready to hook up. But instead when you opened the shed door, he was standing shyly and gave you the sweetest smile.

“Hey,” he said, taking a small step forward to meet where you were standing. “Hi, baby,” you grinned and kissed him chastely, taking note of the more innocent energy coming from him today.

He wrapped his arms around you, his eyes examining your face adoringly. “Um,” he said, radiating nervousness and backing up slightly. “What’s up?” You smiled at him curiously, taking his hands in yours.

After only a moment, he released his hands from your hold, and you suddenly felt concerned. Why was he acting so weird? You watched confusedly as he fiddled with the inside pocket of his jacket, not saying a word.

Pulling out a small box, he opened it to reveal a simple but beautiful silver necklace. “Hawk!” You gasped, looking at it in awe. He felt more confident at your reaction, and felt safe to say something again.

“I thought that, since we always have to act around each other, you could wear it as a reminder of how we really feel.” He said, searching your expression for some sort of approval.

You stared at him in admiration, not yet able to find the words to respond. “It’s simple, so nobody will think it means anything, but, we’ll know.” He spoke again, hoping for it to grant a response from you this time.

Your face began to bloom with happiness. Taking the box from his hands, you kissed him passionately. “I love it. Can you put it on me?” You asked cheerfully, and Hawk smiled brightly. “Yeah,” he nodded excitedly, turning you around.

You did your best to move your hair out of the way, and Hawk gently pushed the few stray strands to the side. Feeling his fingers brush across your skin, you breathed heavily. You could feel his own breath hot on your neck, as he clasped the two ends of the jewelry together.

With your back still against his torso, he placed his hands around your waist, starting to leave soft kisses against your ear, and down towards your collarbone.

You closed your eyes, soaking in the feeling, until the door of the shed barged open. You stumbled away from each other in shock, and looked to see Tory standing in front of the both of you.

“I knew it! What the hell is this, Hawk?” She screamed, prowling towards you. Feeling completely unprepared from the utter suddenness of the situation, you stepped back in fear. “What are you doing here!?” Hawk shouted, ignoring Tory’s question as he blocked her path from getting to you.

She sneered at the both of you, stopping as she noticed his protectiveness over you. “I’ve noticed how you sneak off at the end of school. I finally decided to follow you here.” She said matter-of-factly, giving you a glare.

“So what is she, Hawk? Your girlfriend?” She taunted, starting to circle you. Out of everything she’d said so far, that was the thing that actually made you the most nervous. You hadn’t actually used that word before... ‘girlfriend,’ you hadn’t really made it official, despite how much it felt like you already had.

You weren’t sure how Hawk would react now that he was caught, but you desperately hoped he would say, ‘Yes, she is, and I love her.’ But that was nowhere close, to what he said.

“What? No! We’re just having some fun, alright? It doesn’t mean anything.” He forced a laugh, stepping away from you. Your heart ached. This is what you were afraid of. You knew it was probably for the best for him to have said that, but you couldn’t ignore the hurt you felt when you heard him say it.

You wished he would’ve right then and there just admitted it, stood up for himself, and chosen you. He could’ve just told the truth, and left Cobra Kai, and been with you. But you weren’t enough. He had a reputation to uphold.

“Oh, really.” Tory scoffed, barely believing his lie as she looked between the two of you. “You can have fun with anyone, Hawk, and you a choose a Miyagi-Do?” She spat, staring him down, and his usually-confident demeanor diminished instantly. “Break it off, or I tell everyone.”

Storming off, her threat lingered in the air as the two of you stood alone, unable to meet each other’s gazes.

“Maybe we should just end this, Y/N.” Hawk spoke meekly, finally breaking the silence. Your eyes widened in horror, forcing yourself to look up at him. “What?” You said, your voice faltering. “So that’s just it then?”

Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes again as he met your stare. “We don’t have any other choice!” He shouted angrily, getting in your face. Your mouth fell agape at the way he was acting, your expression hardening.

“Yes, we DO!” You shouted back, and sobs started to escape you. You of course meant the choice being he stands up to the Cobras, and fights for your relationship. You understood his dilemma in the beginning, but at this point none of it seemed worth it to you anymore.

His eyes were fixated on you intensely, and his mind was running a mile a minute trying to figure out what to do.

“You can easily stand up to them, the Cobras! You’re stronger than all of them combined. Why won’t you fight for us?” You cried, searching for any sign in his face that showed he regretted his words. He had never said so, but you could tell the only thing holding him back was the fear of the Cobras’ reactions.

His insides scrambled with guilt watching you cry. But he had to stay strong. Unaffected, unfazed, completely unbothered. That’s how he forced his expression to appear as he turned and left the shed, leaving you alone and in pain as you watched your worst fear come true.

“Hawk!” You yelled after him, but he only kept walking. “What happened to never wanting to be the reason I felt pain?” Your voice cracked, and you wiped your tears from your face, giving up.

Your words cut into Hawk like a knife. If even possible, Hawk was hurting more than you. Each step he took farther away from where you stood, he felt his heart scatter into another piece. He wished things could be different, too-- but you were too much of a risk.

Cobra Kai may be a large reason for his troubles, but it was also the only reason he was still on top. He wanted you so bad, but he was too afraid to let go of everything else just to have you.

It was safer this way, he told himself. If nobody knew, you’d be safer. You wouldn’t have to be involved in the drama that would come from it, you wouldn’t have another reason for the Cobras to come after you, and you wouldn’t have to worry about him anymore.

Hawk repeated these things to himself over and over to make himself feel better about the way things ended. But no matter what he told himself, it was never enough for him to fully believe that he made the right choice.

Feeling helpless, you called the only person you thought might understand. “D-Demetri?” You spoke into the phone, taking a gasp for air between sobs.

“Y/N? Are you ok?” He answered, sounding worried. “I need to talk to you, can you-” You paused, trying to catch your breath. “Can you come get me?” You were nervous he wouldn’t be able to, but you needed someone in person, not over text.

You and Demetri weren’t particularly besties, so for you to call him out of the blue, crying, was extremely worrisome to him. “Uh, yeah, okay sure. I only just left so I can turn back.”

Letting out a shaky breath of relief, you thanked Demetri and hung up, walking out of the shed and towards the front of the school to where he would be meeting you. Hawk was supposed to be your ride home, but clearly that was no longer an option.

When Demetri arrived, he didn’t wait for you to get in the car, he immediately got out and walked over to you. “What happened?” He said cautiously, becoming nervous about having to deal with others’ emotions.

He was never particularly great at consolation, being the awkward and blunt person he is-- and he really didn’t want to make things worse for you.

“It’s Eli,” You said, trying to hold back your tears. “I did something really stupid.” Your lip quivered, feeling embarrassed talking about it. You weren’t supposed to tell anyone about you and Hawk, but at this point, you had nothing left to lose.

Demetri looked at you confused. “What do you mean?” To his knowledge, you and Hawk barely conversed, and there should be absolutely no reason whatsoever for you to be crying over him.

The closer you got to explaining it, the harder it got to contain your emotions. Despite knowing Demetri wasn’t very keen on hugs, you ran into him, desperate for the feeling of comfort.

At this point, Demetri’s level of concern was on the rise. Why on earth would you hug him? That’s never happened before. “I just thought you’d be the only one who would understand... if I told someone.” You spoke, words slightly muffled as you were pressed into his chest.

Reluctantly, Demetri accepted your hug and rested his arms around you. “Okay, Y/N, you’re scaring me. What did he do?” He asked, looking down at you.

Gaining the courage to explain yourself, to Demetri’s relief you let go of him and steadied your breathing. “A few weeks ago.. Hawk and I kissed.” You said hesitantly, preparing for the worst.

“What?” Demetri’s face scrunched into the most confused and offended look you’d ever seen him wear. “I know, okay, just wait.” You told him, hoping he would hear you out.

“I thought it was just a stupid mistake, or something?” You began, recalling the uncertainty you felt when it first happened. “But then he said all this stuff about how much he cared about me, and it turns out we actually have something real.”

Aware of the weirdness of what you were saying, you looked to see how Demetri was handling it. He showed a look of understanding, but you could tell he was simply masking the discomfort he was truly feeling. “It was really confusing at first, but then we started secretly dating.. because we knew everyone would flip if they found out.” You continued, the awkwardness worsening with each sentence spoken.

Demetri’s eyebrows rose. “Dating?” You visibly cringed at the reaction, but carried on with your story. “And he even started being nicer to people!” You mentioned, hoping to make the situation seem like you weren’t a complete idiot for allowing it to happen. “Because, I told him I didn’t think I could be with him-- with the way he treats people, you know? And things were actually going well until today--”

You took a moment, preparing the end of your explanation in the hopes you wouldn’t start to cry through it. Demetri looked at you impatiently.

“When Tory found us together and threatened to tell everyone about us if we didn’t break it off, and then Hawk just left me there and said that we should end things because he’s a coward and can’t do what’s right because HE WANTS TO LOOK COOL.” You shouted, running through the sentences fast and furiously. Instead of getting sad like you thought you would, you got angry. Ah yes, another stage of grief.

Demetri looked slightly scared of you at your sudden tantrum, but having heard your story, he did understand what you were feeling-- because in a way, it had happened to him too. This time, it was him who reached out to hug you, and you appreciated him for it. Hugs always seemed to make you feel calm.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I know how it feels. He’s stuck right now, but we can’t give up, okay? He’ll come around.” He said honestly, awkwardly patting your back. You laughed a tiny bit, seeing Demetri trying to console, but you were grateful for his presence.

You released each other from the hug, and you wiped any leftover tears off of your face. “Thanks, Demetri.” You said, smiling sweetly. He nodded, placing his hand on your arm in reassurance, and motioned for you to follow to his car.

The ride back to your house was quiet, but your thoughts were busy and loud. That’s how things were for awhile after that day. You kept to yourself again, and though you tried to look alive, you felt like you had retreated back inside the bubble you worked so hard to get out of.

You went to school, you went to karate, you did whatever responsibilities you had to do-- but for the rest of your free time, you spent it alone in your room, wondering what it would take for Hawk to come back to you.

It was unhealthy, really, how you would wait everyday for a sign of acknowledgement from Hawk, and decline any other social invitation because you never got one.

You even wore the necklace, everyday, in hopes that he’d notice and remember how much you meant to him. But it never worked. He never came back.

You got away with the isolation for awhile, but people were starting to notice how you’ve been pulling away. At least you had Demetri to cover for you once and awhile, to help keep up the facade that you were okay.

Because, you weren’t. You wondered if Hawk was, though. He certainly seemed like he was okay, but he couldn’t be. For your own peace of mind, you had to think he couldn’t be. To think that he was doing just fine while you were spending your days miserable, wouldn’t be fair.

He’s stuck right now, but he’ll come around. Demetri’s words echoed in your head, wondering if they were even true. Would he ever really come around? Is he in too deep? The thoughts scared you beyond belief, but as more days passed, the more you believed them.

You eventually forced yourself to stop caring. To stop thinking about it, and to just give it up. You’d spent too long waiting for him, and you were done letting his actions control your happiness. Although there was a part of you that could never really stop caring, you convinced yourself that it was gone.

After a few weeks, you stopped wearing the necklace. When you showed up to school without it on, it was the first time Hawk had noticeably looked at you since the breakup. He always avoided your eye contact, but that day he locked them onto yours as you passed him in the hall. His gaze flickered from your eyes to your neck, and you could see the glum look all over his face.

As much as you wanted to give in to the hope that he missed you, you ignored it. You weren’t going to let any of those thoughts in again-- not when you already worked so hard to let go of them.

Hawk watched you make your way through the corridors, hardly caring who noticed. While you may have had the ability to attempt to move on, he didn’t. It was his fault any of this happened after all, and it was completely up to him whether or not he could fix things between you.

The pressure of knowing he was the only reason for your and his despair was agonizing, and with the necklace no longer around your neck, he realized he was running out of time.

Time is what he thought he had, to turn things around for himself, and you. But his window was closing, and he was panicking.

Not knowing what else to do, Hawk waited a few blocks away from where you trained at Miyagi-Do, knowing he’d catch you on your walk home.

Making your way down the sidewalk after practice, you were completely unsuspecting when Hawk jumped out of his car and jogged towards you.

Things had really come full circle now, hadn’t they? You, walking home on that same sidewalk, pure disgust for Hawk in your veins as he tried to catch up with you.

You stopped short as Hawk stood in front of you, blocking your path. You were nervous and confused at his intrusion, and decided not to bother avoiding him right now.

His stare towards you was intense, and you only glared back, waiting for him to say what he needed to say.

“You stopped wearing the necklace.” He said it so plainly, you couldn’t tell what kind of response he was looking for. It seemed almost like a question in disguise-- why did you stop wearing the necklace, perhaps?

He was looking at you eagerly, though trying to hide the desperation behind the statement.

“Yeah, and?” You laughed at him, matching his tone of carelessness. He looked like he didn’t understand, so you continued. “What’d you expect? That I’d just keep waiting for you?” You said unpleasantly, with a hint of sadness in your own voice.

A shameful look glossed over his features, but you only kept going. “It’s obvious you’re not coming back, Hawk.” You smile at him mockingly, enjoying the feeling of guilt you were giving him.

He tried to stay strong, but every word you spoke was like a hit to his built-up walls, and they were so close to falling down.

“I spent weeks wondering what I’d have to do to get you to come back to me. To choose me.” You said, your voice calm, but the rest of you not. Your body was shaking with anger now, but your eyes were brimming with tears.

“Until,” You sniffled, gaining a tone of indifference, “I finally realized there was nothing for me to do. You just weren’t coming.” You were almost smiling through the pain, and Hawk looked at you in a loss for words.

You appeared so fragile to him, he just wanted to wrap you in his arms and spout apology after apology for what he’d caused. Seeing your eyes squint in attempt to hold back the waterworks, physically pained him.

“So yeah, I stopped wearing the necklace. But you know what?” You stepped forward confidently, despite the single tear that had just fallen down your face. “I think it hurt more wearing it than it did taking it off.” You finished with hardly any emotion in your voice, and Hawk looked mortified seeing you try to act so unaffected.

He had been silent through your whole exchange, because he knew there was nothing he could say now to make things better. He had done too much damage, and he had caused you too much pain. He did exactly what he said he’d never do.

You waited for him to say something, anything-- but as your eyes bore into his strongly, he couldn’t find the courage to speak. The disappointment was immense, and feeling hopeless once again, you pushed past him to go home.

Panicking at your leave, Hawk grabbed onto your arm. “Y/N, Wait, please-” “No!” You cut him off, looking at him coldly. His face was red, and his eyes were stinging now, too. Ignoring the feeling you got when you saw him like that, you ripped your arm from his grasp. “I’ve waited long enough.”

You turned to leave again, and this time, Hawk didn’t follow. There was only one thing Hawk could do now to get you back, and you knew he wasn’t ready for it. There was no use in you hanging around for him anymore, you deserved better. You deserved someone who cared enough that they’d do what it takes to be with you, regardless of social status.

You didn’t even care if he stayed in Cobra Kai, you just wanted him to stand up to his friends and be proud that he was with you. Didn’t he realize that he was one of the strongest Cobras, and that he could get through any of their shit? If his biggest problem was Tory, he hardly had any reason to stay quiet. You knew deep down he could do better.

Hawk hadn’t understood that then, but as he lingered on you walking away, something clicked in his head.

Maybe he really could do better. He wanted to, for you. He was still terrified at the idea of coming clean to the Cobras, but whatever he’d deal with from that couldn’t be any worse than being without you.

He liked the power he had being in Cobra Kai, and he hoped that he could keep it-- but if losing the power meant gaining you, at this point he was totally okay with that risk. But, that didn’t mean he wouldn’t at least try to negotiate with his friends first.

“Y/N!” It was a new day at school, and you were walking side by side Sam heading to your lunch table when he called your name. You shared a look with Sam, glancing towards him with a bothered look upon your face. “Come here!” Hawk shouted again, apparently not caring that the whole cafeteria had his attention.

A look of dread spread across your face, and you slammed your lunch tray on your friends’ table in defeat before stomping over to where Hawk and his asshole friends sat. Your friends watched from afar, completely clueless as to what Hawk would need you for, and Demetri struggled to pretend he was just as lost as they were.

“What.” You said bluntly, staring him and the rest of his table down. “Yeah, seriously, what are you doing calling her over here?” Mitch asked, looking at you in revulsion, and you rolled your eyes at him.

Hawk looked between you and his friends, struggling to keep his confident manner in tact, and sighed uncomfortably. “I know we don’t like the Miyagi-Dos. And we don’t like the way they run their dojo.” He stated, hoping to hook his friends in by starting negatively towards their rivals.

His friends looked at him in reluctance, wondering where he was going with this-- and you did too. “But I love Y/N.” He said loudly, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in, and looking around at his friends. He was more nervous to see your reaction than theirs, so he barely looked at you once he said it.

“What?” The words came strongly from not only his friends, but you, too. He had never told you that before, and your heart melted at his declaration. When you spoke, he gathered the courage to look at you, and you’d never seen him so nervous.

“I love you.” He repeated, looking you in the eyes. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and on top of that he was announcing it to the whole school. You glanced over to see Demetri, mouth ajar, observing the interaction like it were a movie.

He meant it, and you could tell. He was waiting on you for a response, feeling more stress than he’d felt in a long time as he studied your bewildered expression.

Before you could say anything, Bert interrupted the moment. “You can’t love a Miyagi-Do. They’re stuck-up pansies who think they’re better than us.” He said, completely convinced that Hawk was out of his mind and needed a wake-up call.

Hawk cringed a little at the feedback, but was surprised when you decided to bite back. “I joined Miyagi-Do because I was tired of people getting bullied. You all choose violence when it isn’t needed, so I just wanted to be prepared.” You defended your intentions, fearlessly.

Tory snorted. “Oh yeah? And how’s that working out for you?” She jabbed, trying to make fun of your self defense skills. Before you could retort, Hawk slammed his hand down on the table and leaned in towards his peers.

“Listen! I’m with you guys, but she’s right. We’ve been reckless.” He said carefully, trying to keep a balance between who’s side he was on. “Sensei told us to fight smart, and we haven’t been.” He locked eyes with Tory, clearly sending her a message.

You watched as Hawk tried to reason with them, admiring his every move. Keeping up his confidence, he set down what was going to happen, and there’d be no arguments against it. “You guys can hate the Miyagi-Dos all you want, but I’m going to be with Y/N, and I’m staying in Cobra Kai.” 

Interlacing his hand with yours, he looked at you pridefully before turning back to the outraged looks on his friends’ faces. “From now on, if any one of you touches her, you deal with me. That’s of course if she doesn’t kick your ass first.” He said smugly, and you smiled widely, feeling content at his speech.

Your heart was jumping out of your chest at the gesture he made, and you wanted to smash your lips onto his and tell him how much you loved him back-- but you kept yourself restrained for the sake of the situation.

Most of the Cobras nodded nervously at his announcement, not wanting to challenge Hawk when he was so sure of himself. But Tory wasn’t having it. “You guys can’t seriously be okay with this?” She snapped, death-glaring the entire table.

The group looked like they were trying to decide whether they were more afraid of Hawk, or Tory. You smiled to yourself, knowing that no matter their reaction, you had won this, because you were with him now. It would certainly be a bonus if you gained their acceptance, though.

Mitch looked around in uncertainty about what he was going to say, but stuck up for Hawk. “Come on Tory, I mean, I get it... she’s hot.” He said referring to you, and you laughed a little at the shallow but positive response.

Hawk wasn’t as pleased with it though. “Hey.” He threatened, pointing a finger at Mitch. You giggled slightly at his jealous reaction, but pulled him back from Mitch by the hand you were holding his with. Mitch raised his hands in surrender, and Tory stood from the table, getting close to the both of you.

“You’d better sleep with one eye open, assholes.” She spat, and stormed away from the table. It went better than you would’ve thought, truthfully. Everyone else was loyal to Hawk, and you didn’t really expect anything less from Tory. Again, having Tory be your only threat seemed like small potatoes now that you two were together.

You nodded at the rest of the Cobras in respect, and with that whole thing being over, you tugged him by the hand towards your table of Miyagi-Dos. Hawk groaned, realizing where you were taking him, but did his best to stay civil.

Chris glowered at the both of you, and Sam looked a little disappointed, but she tried to look supportive. “So.... yeah. Sorry.” You said sheepishly, knowing that they had already heard everything.

“I’m glad it finally worked out.” Demetri said through a sad smile. You felt a little bad, knowing that Demetri still needed to work out his relationship with Hawk, and here you were rubbing yours in his face. That would be your next mission, you suppose-- operation get Demetri and Hawk to be friends again.

“Thanks, Dem.” You said appreciatively, and Hawk looked suspiciously between the two of you. “Wait, did you tell him before?” He asked defensively. The whole table looked to you and Demetri curiously, and you crossed your arms sassily.

“Uh, did I call someone to come get me after you left me alone in a shed? Yeah.” You recovered, your facial expression sly as you knew he couldn’t come back from that one. The others looked at him exasperatedly at your response, and his face dropped instantly. 

“Oh my god, Y/N I am so sorry about that.” He cowered, immediately dropping it, and you laughed at the remorse he was finally showing. You already knew he was sorry, but you guess it was nice to hear him say it.

He didn’t understand why you were laughing, though. He felt awful. And he also really needed a chance to completely apologize to you in private, now that he had already confessed his true feelings.

Suddenly, he picked you up entirely, arms holding your legs and you wrapped your arms around his neck instinctively. “Whoah, what is happening?” You laughed, looking at your friends who all looked just as puzzled as you.

Without saying anything else, he took off out of the lunch room carrying you, and made his way to the nearest exit to the outdoors. “Babe, where are we going?” You cackled, amused at the adventure he was taking you on.

Finally outside and alone, he let you down gently in front of him, and took your hands in his lightly. “I’m so sorry. For all of it. I was a complete idiot for letting you go. You knew all along that we could do it, and I was too busy being a pussy to even try. And I’m really sorry for everything that went down today, I hope you aren’t mad, I literally told you I loved you in front of everyone and that must’ve been awkward, I mean you didn’t even get to respond, which, now that I think about it maybe you didn’t want to, or--”

You silenced his rambling with a forceful kiss, grabbing the sides of his face with your hands. “I love you too, Hawk.” You said, pulling away from the kiss quickly, to give him the response he had been looking for.

He smiled big in return, and it turned your insides to mush. “You know, I realized we never got the chance to make things official.” He looked up at you cutely and you smiled back, knowing what was coming.

“So, will you be my girlfriend?” He asked charmingly, his face mere inches from yours. Blushing furiously, you nodded as you touched your forehead to his. “Mhm,” You said in agreement, grinning.

He took a moment, just admiring the look of you so happy, and with his manner still playful, he reminded you of something you had said before. “See? I came back to you.” He said proudly.

You looked at him lovingly, feeling a little emotional at the sentiment. His expression turned serious now, and he parted from you only slightly. “I’m gonna do better for you, Y/N. I promise.” He spoke lowly, and you put your hands on his shoulders, beaming at him in acknowledgement.

You stepped forwards again, getting closer to him. He gave a seductive smirk at your movement, and you subconsciously traced your fingers along his neck, fixated on his face more than anything.

Hawk stared back at you affectionately, his attention flickering down towards your lips. Feeling bold, he placed his hands dangerously low on your waist, and pulled you in roughly for another kiss. You quickly reacted, letting your hands travel to the nape of his neck, your mouth opening slightly-- allowing Hawk the opportunity to deepen the kiss.

Your lips stayed connected as Hawk’s hands made their way up your back, his chest pressing closer to yours. As much as you wanted to continue, you were in broad daylight right outside the halls of your school-- and you really didn’t want a detention for too much PDA.

“Mm, Hawk-” You giggled, breaking away from him. “Hm?” He smiled, his hands resting loosely on your waist as he pecked your lips again before letting you free. “If we don’t go back in soon we’ll miss the whole lunch period.” You said, disappointedly.

“Eh, that’s fine with me.” He shrugged, smirking at you as he clutched you closer. You scoffed playfully, hitting him lightly, and gave him one last kiss before escaping his grip.

He pouted at you, and you looked back at him mischievously. He missed your touch already, so he snaked his arm around your waist as you walked back inside to satisfy his need of holding you.

You felt on top of the world with him by your side, now having full confidence in him and his feelings for you. “It’s a good thing I still have the necklace, huh?” You teased, looking back up at him, and Hawk smiled, tilting his head to meet your gaze.

Though your comment may have only been a joke, both of you felt whole at the idea of you wearing the necklace-- and as you walked joyfully through the halls with him, you knew you’d never be taking it off again.

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i just wanna talk about real quick how much i cringe when writing like its actually terrible how much i cringe at myself so idk if i’ll keep doing fics or not HAHAH but y’all can always send requests and i’ll get around to them if i can. hope yall liked this one tho and made it through the whole thing cuz yikes.

[pizzaboat]

So I've seen alot of people give their theory's and opinions on what's going to happen to Lilith in season 2 of the owl house, whether or not she's forgiven, where she's going to stay and how she'll act I guess, and the major thing being if she's redeemed or how redeemed she is.

I'm just going to throw my own thoughts out there and say that obviously there's still alot to do with her character. I also have no intention of bashing her character, I actually enjoy when she's on screen. I do like her but she's still problematic. So buckle up this is a long one.

To get my thoughts straight I'll break what I have to say down into parts, cause I get distracted easily.

First up im going to say I think she is far from redeemed. My impression of her is that she regrets cursing her sister, but she also finds some sort of sick pride in it too, as shown in agony of a witch when she screams " then why were you so easy to curse!?".

She also has no problem hurting literal children to get what she wants either, but that's another issue I'll discuse.

Lilith seems to resent her younger sister to an extreme, unhealthy degree. I could sit here and theorise about her child-hood and teen years wondering what could have created such insecurities in her, but im not going to. That is irrelevant to the point im trying to make. What's important to keep in mind though is that she was "perfect prissy Lilith"- the covention growing up, Eda was good at almost everything, and that Lilith cursed Eda to secure a spot in the emperors coven when Lilith was 18-19 and Eda was 16-17.

Is she redeemed ?

No i don't think she is even half way there. She cursed Eda in her sleep to win a fight. Lied for over thirty years to Eda about that curse. Mocked Eda for the symptoms of a curse she put on her "Why don't you go home and rest wouldn't want you breaking hip"- sense and insensitivity . she kidnapped Luz to use her against her sister, used Luz as a human meat shield in her and Eda's battle during agony of a witch, was generally quite rude to Luz when she wasn't dangling her over a pit of spikes, and also SPIKES.

Taking on half of a curse she put on her sister in the first place doesn't begin to cover the trauma and pain she's caused in the name of healing her sister, enforcing the emperors laws and joining said emperors coven.

I would also like to point out that she had a way to elevate her sisters pain all this time but she didn't. I've seen arguments like she trusted the emperor to heal her sister but I can already point out so many things wrong with that.

even if she did trust him, no normal person could sit by and watch any family member they claim to care about suffer, if she trusted the emperor so much she would have split the curse sooner, (providing Eda would have let her of course) and had him heal her or Eda both.

But she didn't do that she lied to her sister for years, partly because she was scared of losing Eda and also Eda's reaction which was, and would always be unbridalled rage. but also to an extent it suited her, it suited her to be the successful sibling, the sibling doing things "right" Lilith seems to be as I said before extremely insecure, and I think that just going off the episodes she was in and the impression the show puts forward.

If what I've noticed is correct, Lilith has spent her life in her sisters shadow, bullied in school as revealed in the end of something ventured something framed, nobody took her seriously due to her appearance and probably being a late bloomer in a lot of ways. She would have jumped at the chance to be given the same respect that Eda and other talented witches or well off, higher up witches recieved.

In other words the emperors coven fed Liliths' battered ego, telling her what she wanted to hear.

It makes sense that she wouldn't want to let that go, but in the context of what has happened and the fact she seemed to still try and stick with the emperors coven before Belos sent her to be executed along with eda and king.

She isn't redeemed, she probably doesn't see much wrong with how she's behaved up until now(besides cursing Eda) and there's still alot of work for her to do. She only split half the curse because her expulsion from the coven forced her to address a mistake she made for once.

Season 2 and maybe more seasons looks like where she'll be earning her redemption. Hopefully she'll be forced to face more of her flaws and short comings and work on them.

Will she be forgiven?

Lilith from what has been shown has hurt;

Eda Luz, King, Amity, Willow and Gus. They all have different reasons to be hostile towards her.

Eda

She cursed Eda and almost subjected her to a faith worse than death, lied to her, mocked her. Kidnapped her apprentice and almost got Luz killed a number of times,using her as a sheild. She dragged Luz into the whole messed up rivalry. I don't think Eda will forgive her emediatly, after all, even if she can forgive Lilith for what she did to her, she would also have to forgive her for what she did to Luz.

She essentially kidnapped Edas' surrogate daughter, Eda was much angrier about Luz's suffering than her own "you hurt luz, you cursed me. before anything turns me to stone I'm going to tear you apart!" - young blood, old souls

Yeah Eda was fit to murder her sister, taking some of the curse probably only got rid of her homicidal desire towards Lilith, thats it.

Luz

I've seen some people make fan content in which Luz immediately forgives Lilith or comes round eventually to her when Lilith acts nice around the house.

That seems super out of character for Luz, sure Luz is characterised to be kind and sweet but if the final proves anything its that she has a ruthless streak that comes out when she tries to protect the people she loves, her family. Lilith has threatened the people she cares about. I don't see Luz letting that slide, and she would probably still be on guard. Luz may have accepted her help in young blood old souls, but that was only because she wanted to save Eda she told Lilith she didn't like her "whole deal" and she meant it.

Lilith would have to prove she's really changed for the better for luz to begin to for give her.

King

I like the idea of King and Lilith becoming friends simply for comedy perposes, if King were to forgive her and I think he'd be one of the closest to it out of the main characters.

They'd be a force of sheer stupidity and ego they'd be bad and good for each other, King weirdly enough would be more emotionally mature since he's learned things like you can't be posesive over people in really small problems it's a lesson Lilith needs to learn since she seems to resent Luz to an extent, thinking Luz was taking her sister from her "Edalyn is with her family, her real family. Go back to your world human this one is ours" - agony of a witch

Of course before this she needs to also earn his forgiveness, he wasn't there for agony of a witch but he did experience the fear and worry of losing eda in young blood, old souls the only person he had up until then was Eda " King and I, we don't have much in this world. we only have each other"- A lying witch and a Warden. Lilith helping rescue Eda might have helped improve his opinion of her, but Lilith would have to get over herself first to begin her redemption.

Hooty

I don't think Hooty would hold a grudge, mostly because he's comic relief and weird. Since I personally think no one in the owl house would be bothering with her, and I see her being forced to live In the shed. I think Hooty would be her only company and I think it would be unexpected and really funny if he's the first person/bird thing to open her eyes to her awful behaviour. You gotta start somewhere and Hooty is it.

Amity, Gus and Willow

I think Gus and Willow will be stand-offish until Luz and King forgive Lilith.

Once Lilith has developed more as a person she owes Amity an apology for how she behaved as a teacher. Amity would be mad after the covention episode, but almost killing her crush would make her protective of Luz, and wary of her in general.

Conclusion

Lilith hasn't been redeemed in my opinion, there's still alot of growth she needs to go through, she's made alot of terrible mistakes and decisions, its what makes her so interesting. I like her but she's a sh*t person, but she can learn to be less of a sh*t person.

I'm aware this is a kids show and she probably won't get all this development or she could get different character development and that would be awesome, its just my thoughts and opinions and I'm really excited for season 2.

[torishasupremacy]

cobra kai hot take

I've seen a lot of opinions about whose fault it was for Miguel falling at the end of season 2. Tory’s because she started the fight, Sam’s for giving Tory a reason to fight (kissing her bf), and Robby’s for kicking Miguel. imo, it’s nobody’s fault. 

Tory isn’t manipulative (in this situation), she’s angry. she wants to fight Sam, she makes thatcher, she goes after Sam. I’m not saying what she did is right, but she had no way of controlling whether the rest of the school would start brawling too. I’m not the biggest fan of Tory- she gets mad at Sam but not Miguel for cheating, she cuts up Sam, and she gets together with a guy who’s clearly not over his ex and then takes it out on his ex. I’m excited to learn more about her backstory in season 3 bc im hoping it'll make her a more likable character for me. but yeah, it’s not Tory’s fault that Miguel got fucked up.

And it’s not Sam’s fault either. Yeah, she kissed Miguel and made some other bad drunk decisions, but all of her fighting in the brawl was self defense. She didn’t force Tory to start the fight, and she was going to tell Robby about kissing Miguel, but he left before she got the chance. She feels guilty in the hospital scene, but apart from the kissing, all of her actions in the finale were reactionary, not instigating.

Robby. Oh, Robby. He’s made some bad decisions, and definitely has some anger problems, but we can see him trying to change, with Miyagi-Do and telling Sam the truth about the medal, and trying to get her to stop drinking. He and Miguel originally ran into the fight to stop the girls, and then Tory goes on about Sam and Miguel kissing. Robby doesn’t think he has any reason to mistrust Sam- they just had a conversation about honesty. From his perspective, Miguel was very aggressive during their first encounter (he was drunk, yes, but idk if Robby knows that), then during the All-Valley championship, his best friend attacks Robby when his back is turned and then Miguel targets his injuries. Not to mention that Miguel being Johnny’s star student has to be painful for Robby. We as the audience know that Miguel is a better person than Robby sees him to be, but it’s because Robby doesn’t know the whole story is how his resentment toward Miguel festers. He hears that Sam and Miguel kissed, he trusts and loves Sam while sees Miguel as aggressive and not over her, and he draws the (logical to him) conclusion that Miguel forced himself on Sam. He doesn’t know what really happened! Tory is the only person who’s told him, and it’s at the beginning of a fight where she wants to beat the shit out of his girlfriend. Tensions are running too high to communicate properly, for any of the kids. Fighting breaks out, and Robby goes after the guy that kissed his girlfriend and injured him. And they fight, and they fight, and then  Miguel has got him pinned and is twisting back his arm (possibly the same one that was injured, I'm unsure) and then we see Miguel’s whole flashback with the no mercy/honor lesson. That calms Miguel down enough to stop hurting Robby and walk away from the fight. But for Robby, it’s a much briefer and angrier moment. All he knows is that this guy is causing him pain in a fight he won and then suddenly is walking away. Robby clearly isn't gonna just let Miguel go- he doesn’t realize Miguel was rejecting the “no mercy” ideal of cobra kai, and Robby has already been beaten by this guy, he's not gonna sit there and take defeat, especially when he thinks Miguel has been harassing his girlfriend. So he goes after Miguel, and they fight, and Robby kicks him over the railing. Robby has a fair share of anger issues, but I don’t think this was intentional at all. He lashed out, and bad timing plus bad positioning sends Miguel falling to his possible death. It was an accident, and accidents happen. 

on a more ~personal note~, I actually have an experience similar to this (though less extreme) in which I was in Miguel’s situation. ive been training in karate (tang soo do style) for like a decade and when I was 16, I had a sparring match with a guy that fucked up my life for quite a bit. he went to punch my stomach at the same time I ducked down to get under his guard, and he ended up punching me square in the nose. I ended up with a concussion. what was that like? fucking awful. I had a constant, terrible headache the whole time that wouldn't ever let up. I spent weeks in bed, unable to read or eat or look at a screen or be in bright light. and I couldn't do karate or move too quickly for a couple months. I was starring in a school play that required me to do a lot of stage combat, so I couldn’t practice any of it until the week before opening night. basically, everything sucked, and I was miserable. but (and maybe this is just 16 y/o me being stupidly wise or something) I never blamed or got mad at the dude who hit me. yeah, he was trying to hurt me, but not as badly as I ended up. that’s what happens in a fight- you try and land hits on the other person. what happened to me was an accident- poor positioning and timing. and the dude never apologized. I eventually went back to karate, and neither of us acted differently than before it happened, and the only person who mentioned it was my karate teacher, who told my next sparring partner that he’d be doing a shit ton of pushups if he hit me in the head. and we all just went on with our lives. 

obviously, that’s on a much less extreme scale then robby and miguel’s situation, but if/when miguel recovers, I hope he doesn’t make his rivalry with robby even more inflamed. I think that while the cobra kai/miyagi-do kids are gonna be at each other’s throats (mostly hawk and tory wanting revenge), robby is gonna be really sorry, and miguel is gonna be exhausted, and they’re hopefully gonna give up on their feud. I absolutely think it’s possible for Miguel to forgive Robby, and for the two to reconcile and become friends, or at least not enemies. they’re definitely not done with their conflict together, but I have hope that they can eventually put it aside. but who knows, it may take a while, but hopefully not as long as it’s gonna take Danny and Johnny. 

I may be projecting too much on to Miguel (ngl I do identify w him quite a bit) and I may be too forgiving of Robby’s actions (he’s one of my faves) and maybe I ship them and want them to canonically be friends if not something of a more romantic nature but I don’t think my theorizing is completely unrealistic. if anyone actually read all that (how and why are you still listening to me) and you want to chat ab it id always be happy to. 

[neerasrealm]

please talk about zalgo in different time periods I'm DYING to know

AHAHAHHAHAHA YESSS WE’RE TALKING ABOUT THIS

OK SO LIKE ANCIENT GREECE RIGHT DSHGFDSJ

you CANNOT tell me zalgo wouldnt love it there. he’d adore collosseums, both chariot racing and battles. around this time he’d still be really young and wouldn’t really adore violence the way he does now, but he still found it fun

oh and you cant tell me he WOULDNT get drunk off wine every time he visited HAHSDHGHSDGSH

might have straight up established himself as a god

scratch that he definitely established himself as a god

he misses the greek empire man it was FUN

up until like...idk, the 12th century? zalgo was pretty lighthearted and not that violent. he still had hope and happiness in him right?

ofc the 12th century wasnt when he fully snapped but it was when he started to degrade

ANYWAY he definitely hung out with vikings just dropping that

they were cool man they knew how to have a good time HSHAGDHASGDH

YOU CANT TELL ME THIS MAN WASNT A KNIGHT OK HE’D DO IT HE’D JOIN JUST FOR FUN

probably assassinated a bunch of royals just to see what’d happen

age of exploration?? HE LOVED THAT bro boats are his FAVORITE

i feel like he’d really like asian and eurasian civilisations? idk why man he just. would

oh and the black plague? kinda wasnt fun

but at the same time seeing so many people die...it brought joy to zalgo, who at this point was beginning to corrupt and resent the other gods

OKAY IM GONNA SAY IT

THE GREAT FIRE OF LONDON

THAT WAS ZALGO. HE WAS MAD.

during the dark ages he decided to start building a following. he felt like he DESERVED to be worshipped as the god he was, so he built his own cult.

and as the years went on and he became angrier and angrier?

he wanted to watch it burn

none of his followers were spared. it was just him and the flames, consuming everything around him

oh and he probably loved the renaissance

the great fire of london really marked when zalgo fully snapped and became a monster, but it wasn’t until the early 1800s that he fully went to war against the gods

i wish i knew more history stuff to insert zalgo into HDSGFHDSFGH I TAKE HISTORY IN SCHOOL AND LOVE IT BUT I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE FUN IM SORRY

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 24

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- of course i wasnt going to make you wait for them to get friends again. it had to be done quickly. but it was needed for Niall to realize that he cant be without her, you know? also, there will be more drama in the next chapters i believe.

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 24 : His chapter

NIALL

I never thought i'd ever have to get over my best friend. I never thought i'd ever lose her at all. But I had to be honest with myself. She was gone, and she had been gone for a while now. A day had turned into a week and a week into 5 more, and there was only one way I found to take my mind off of Liv, at least for a couple hours a day. It was Maya. I asked her on a few dates and after a while, I had no choice but to accept being official. We didn't announce it but we had been seen together and every time a new picture of us appeared online, I couldn't help but wonder if Olivia had seen it and if that made her even angrier at me.

She was not dating Harry or at least, if she was, they had been very discreet about it. They were seen together but never hand in hand or showing affection. They were probably keeping that private and I couldn't lie and pretend it didn't twist my stomach. I felt like they were best friends now and although I knew it sounded juvenile, I couldn't help but be slightly jealous.

I wanted to call her, text her or even go see her more than anything but I didn't. I was trying to respect that she needed time away from me even if it was killing me. Meanwhile, I was trying to keep myself busy and I couldn't pretend Maya wasn't helping. I had been writing a lot, too, throwing my feelings into songs. I had never been the best when it came to expressing my emotions and the only way i could really do it was through music.

"Still writing?"

I suddenly got out of my thoughts and looked up, meeting the eyes of my girlfriend who sat in front of me at the kitchen's table. She bent closer, trying to read what I was writing but I quickly closed my notebook and sent her a small smile.

"Sorry, not really in the mood to share." I explained, shaking my pen between two of my fingers.

Her smile faded and she shrugged. With time, I had learned to decipher most of her body language and expression and I knew that she was hurt and a bit jealous. It was tough with Maya, she was not straightforward the way Olivia was and most of the time I had to guess what she wanted and how she felt. I had to admit it made the relationship harder to deal with and way more exhausting than it should be.

We remained in silence for a few minutes as I tried to decide if I wanted to ask her what was wrong, or if I just wanted to let go and pretend nothing was happening. It's not that I didn't feel anything for Maya. In fact, I had affection for her and I cared about her, but at the same time, there was something missing. It was not her, she was not the problem. The problem was me and how I couldn't seem to be totally happy without my best friend.

"Can I ask you something?"

I stopped breathing but dared looking up at Maya who had tilted her head and was now playing with her fingers. I knew that whatever that question was about, it would bring a painful conversation and I really was not in the mood. Still, I nodded gently.

"Do you love me, Niall?"

Of all the questions I thought she could ask, this would never have crossed my mind. My lips parted and my eyebrows raised as I tried to find a nice way to answer her.

"Maya, we've been dating for less than a month, I mean, I just don't catch feelings like that, you know? Love is a big deal."

"Fine." she replied a little roughly. "Then just tell me this, do you think you'll ever be able to love me as much as you love her?"

She had put emphasis and maybe a bit of disgust on the last word and although I knew exactly who she was talking about, I simply frowned and leaned against my chair, pretending not to understand.

"Don't act like you don't know who i'm talking about, Niall." she pointed out, her facial expression turning into an angry one. "Just answer me and be honest."

I sighed a bit louder than intended and crossed my arms on my chest. I knew it would be painful and i was right.

"I don't know okay?" i let out meanly, shaking my head and bringing one of my hands on my face. "I've known her since we were kids, she's my best friend, she was always there for me and me for her, we did almost everything together. I've never been away from her except when i was on tour and it sucked so much that I invited her on the last one. What are you asking me, Maya? You want me to compare my relationship with you to the one I have with her? Do you really want that?"

Silence. A heavy silence that weighed on both of us until she just shook her head.

"No." she let out firmly before getting up. "I don't really want that."

I remained sitting while she grabbed her stuff and waited until I heard the front door open and close to rub my eyes and groan low. Was it always going to be like that when i'd date a girl? Was I cursed to live this conversation over and over again? What will happen when it comes to someone I really have feelings for? Would it be ruined because of my friendship with Olivia? I opened my eyes suddenly, realizing that maybe that was exactly why Liv was gone. Maybe our friendship was threatening what she was building with Harry and she decided to pick him over me. The thought made something boil inside me and I tried to calm myself. I was not even sure that it was the reason she left but it would be very bad if it was, especially after telling me the opposite before.

Quickly, I got up and walked to the living room, sitting down and grabbing my laptop. I felt my leg shake as I was waiting for it to open up and I didn't even have to type up the address : the page simply opened, telling me I hadn't closed it last night.

Since we stopped talking, I had read somewhere that Olivia started working again. Her dad had a web site and she wrote a few articles for him online, most of the being reviews of recent movies playing in theaters even if a few times, she had the chance to see them before. I had read every single critics she wrote and left a few comments but I had never heard from her. I also stared way too long at her picture in the small circle at the beginning of every article and it was a bit sad. I didn't know you could become obsessed with someone to the point of stalking them online.

I sighed, quickly typing a comment on her latest work and shook my head after clicking 'enter'.

'Can't believe you saw this movie without me 😝'

With an other sigh, I closed the top of my laptop and leaned against the couch, rubbing my eyes again. Every single day, I fought the need to call her and every single day, I stayed an hour just laying in bed, in the dark, wondering what we would talk about if she was here with me. A few times, I would feel Maya cuddle me but tonight, I would definitely be alone.

I had thought about asking Harry to talk to her for me but changed my mind quickly. I also thought about asking him how she was doing but I felt like she would be mad for intruding her life when she had clearly asked for a break, so I didn't do anything. In fact, I hadn't talked to Harry ever since that ridiculous double date and I was fine with it. I had no reason to be mad at him but I was and I resented him for somehow taking my best friend away from me, as if it was his fault.

I was thinking about taking a shower when my phone beeped. I groaned, thinking it was probably Maya who wanted to talk about what had happened between us and I almost didn't check but it beeped for a second time and I searched through my pants to find it.

'We can always go see it again together if you want to.' was the first message I saw, making me sit up better and blink a few times.

'I miss you Nee' was the second one I received and with this one, I swallowed hard.

I remained motionless, my fingers over the keyboard that appeared on my screen, trying to decide what to answer. I wanted to beg her to come back or ask her what took her so long to message me but instead, I licked my lips and typed down how I really felt.

'I fucking miss you too.'

I knew it was pathetic but I stayed there, staring at my phone, until she answered again. It's not like I could think about anyone or anything else anyway.

'A drink? My place?'

I felt my heart twist at the thought of getting my best friend back. I felt like we had so much to talk about even if we had been apart only a few weeks and I jumped off my couch, typing my answer.

'I'll be there in 10'

It took me exactly 8 minutes until I was ringing her doorbell and she quickly let me in. I literally ran up the stairs and knocked at the door which opened immediately. There she was, standing in front of me, looking exactly how I remembered, except maybe for a few small details I couldn't put my fingers on.

"Hey, you look amazing." I let out, panting slightly because of my quick ascent.

She chuckled and moved away to let me in, pushing on the door so it would close behind me. I felt like I hadn't stepped foot here in so long and it made me wonder why in hell I hadn't asked her to live with me yet. I was not going to propose her today but I tried to take a mental note to ask her soon.

"I look like crap, but thank you."

I followed her to the kitchen, leaving my jacket on the couch and I watched her open the fridge. I smiled and thanked her when she handed me a beer, noticing she trying to open her own by herself, when she normally asks for my help. I put my own beer down on the table and took a few steps closer, placing my hand on her bottle. My fingers brushed against her and I could swear her eyes became bigger.

"Let me help you." I proposed in a whisper before her fingers loosened from around her beer.

I hadn't been that close to her in a while and her perfume invaded my nose again, the mix of honey and vanilla making me slightly dizzy,

"You smell good." I breathed out after opening her beer.

I close my eyes tight at the stupidity of my words and I expected her to laugh but after a few seconds, I opened my eyes again only to see her staring at me. We were both still holding her drink but neither of us seemed to be able to move and I let my eyes roam on her face. There were so many things stuck in my throat but I just swallowed hard before talking.

"Please, say we can be friends and hang out again." I whispered, almost begging.

Her face softened and her parted lips curled into a fond smile. I don't know what suddenly came over me but I let go of her beer to cup her face and crash my lips against hers. It was a simple kiss, just a way to show her how happy I was that she was back in my life.

"Sorry." I apologized after pulling away slightly. "You know I suck with words."

My face was still close to her and my hands still pressed on her cheeks but she simply chuckled and nodded slowly, staring in my eyes.

"Y-Yeah." she whispered. "I'm not sure what that means either but... okay."

Her voice was soft and I wouldn't have heard her words if she was not so close to me. I smiled at her and shrugged with one shoulder.

"I don't know, just that I missed you."

I watched her lick her lips and put her hands over mine, bringing them down but she squeezed my fingers and I took a step back.

"How about we chat for a bit?" she proposed, raising her eyebrows. "We haven't talked in a while."

We ended up sitting together in the living room and since her couch was smaller than mine, I could feel her leg against mine as we remained silent, drinking our beer and enjoying the silence. It was not awkward, it never was between us, and I put my arm on the back of the couch, catching her attention as she turned to look at me.

"What happened to us, Niall?"

My eyes roamed on her face and I sighed, sitting better and moving closer to her at the same time. She looked sad, like something was hurting her, and I couldn't help but wonder what exactly made her so unhappy : the fact that we had been separated for weeks, or that we were together at this exact moment?

"I don't know, Liv." I started, looking down but not really seeing anything. "Something happened when we came back from the tour and I'm not sure what it is."

When I looked up, I noticed she was staring at me teary-eyed and I felt my heart twist in my chest. She licked her lips and it made me realize I could still taste her on mine. Could that platonic kiss be considered cheating if I liked it? Was it wrong if it tasted good and made me feel even better?

"Did you have time to think?" she asked again, nibbling on her bottom lip now. "Did you find out if it's me you want in your life or if i'm just filling an empty spot?"

I held my breath at how bad her words sounded and moved closer, taking her hands in mine with her face only a few inches away from hers.

"I still maintain what I said." I pointed out firmly. "It's you. I can't be without you."

She nodded and closed her eyes, leaning against the couch with a sigh. I didn't know if it was a sigh of despair or relief but I kept squeezing her fingers. As I looked at her, I thought about Maya's words and started questioning myself. Could it be true? Would my love and friendship with Liv ruin all the relationships i'd ever have? Would I always love her more than all the girls I could ever date? It made no sense to think a friendship could take so much space and I had no idea if it had always been this way or if it was recent.

"How are things going with Maya?" she asked reluctantly, as I remembered that she was gone.

"We had a... misunderstanding. She left."

"I thought you two were official now?"

I looked up in her eyes and sighed, wondering if I should tell her the truth or not but I decided that I would never hide her anything anymore. It brought too much shit into our life to simply lie about a sex story that I didn't want to risk it again.

"We were... are... I don't know. She asked me if I'd ever love her as much as I love you."

Olivia's eyes got bigger and I just shrugged, shaking my head. I didn't know what else to say but I knew she was expecting some explanations and I just let go of her hands to wipe mine on my pants. There was no reason for me to be so nervous but I was and I just inhaled deeply.

"I don't think you realize how jealous of you Maya is."

Olivia's lips were parted and she was looking at me a bit shocked by my revelation. If I wanted to be honest, I felt like Maya's jealousy was extremely obvious but at the same time, i could understand that Liv hadn't noticed it. In the past few weeks, I had realized just how insecure my best friend was and I knew it was partially my fault. She had told me about a few comments she read online, comments that I hadn't even noticed, but I could understand they had hurt her even if I honestly thought she should never give hate any kind of attention.

"What did you tell her."

I raised my eyebrows, surprised that my answer was all she cared about but also by the vulnerability in her voice. Were my words that important? Did it really matter to her that my love for her was stronger than my love for anyone else?

"I told her no to go there, that it wasn't to her advantage."

She stared at me a few more seconds, her eyes roaming on my face, and I was close to tell her how much I loved her when she threw herself in my arms. I held her close to me, pressing her body against mine although we were both sitting in weird position. The hug was a bit awkward but she squirmed closer to me and I buried my nose in her neck and closed my eyes, my arms completely wrapped around her. It felt good and it had been way too long since the last time I held her close to me like that. It made me want to never let go.

I felt my heart twist when she moved away but I let my eyes roam on her face for the hundredth time in the last hour, as if i hadn't seen it in forever, and it really felt like it.

"How are you and Harry?" I asked, almost scared of the answer.

"We're okay."

I knew our couples were not a good discussion to have if only for the fact that so many things happened when we were apart and we were not sure where we stood. We both didn't really agree with those relationships and it was tough to handle for both of us. If I wanted to be honest, I also felt guilty for telling her that I wouldn't date Maya and the doing then opposite but I was grateful she hadn't mentioned it.

"We're staying friends this time, right?" I asked, raising my eyebrows and waiting until her eyes met mine. "Please, Olivia."

She just remained motionless, looking at me with a sad expression, and there was nothing I wanted more than to make her smile. I sighed and without thinking more, I spat awfully in my hand, making her head move back slightly in surprise. Her eyes moved down to the hand I was showing her and then back in my eyes and she smiled. Fondly, this time.

"Best friends forever?"

She chuckled and shook her head before spitting in her hand too. We shook hands and the feeling of our spits spreading in my palm made me grimace in disgust. My face made her laugh loudly and I closed my eyes.

"Best friends forever."

When we took our hands back, we both laughed and just got up, rushing to the sink. We washed out hands together and I glanced at her, noticing that her smile was back. Her happiness had always been a priority for me but it was even more real now that I knew how much I had hurt her in the past.

"Hey, how about we go to the movies, you know? See that movie you watched without me?"

She looked up at she was wiping her hands on a towel and raised her eyebrows, a smile still gracing her lips... the lips I had just kissed a few minutes earlier. Why did I do that?

"Alright, let me get changed."

She rushed to her room and came back ten minutes later. I chuckled and shook my head when my eyes fell on her shirt and I looked up in her eyes again.

"You're not going to wear that, right?"

She grinned, totally amused and glad that it had the effect she most likely expected, and I looked down again only to see five familiar faces, including mine, printed on her shirt.

"A One Direction shirt?"

"Yea, and worn while hanging out with a One Direction boy. I think it fits." she explained, grabbing her purse before pushing her hand between the cushions of her couch, probably searching for something.

"We were like, 16 or something on that shirt!" I pointed out.

"No you were 18, it was not so long ago, remember?" she asked, putting on the cap she had just found in the couch.

"No!" I joked, making her laugh again.

Her eyes met mine and I suddenly felt better, like something had lighted up inside me. I put my hands in my pockets and she walked up to me, tilting her chin up to look at me.

"Are you okay walking around in public with me wearing this shirt?"

At this point, if I wanted to be honest with myself, I was ready to do anything she would ask me to do, if only to make sure I wouldn't lose her again. But I didn't tell her that, I couldn't tell her that.

"Will be tough but yes."

She chuckled, rolling her eyes, and just grabbed my arm, pulling me with her. We took her car and when she parked in front of the movie theater, I rushed out to open her door for her. She got out of the car and I pushed on the door to close it as she stared at me.

"Thank you," she let out, her eyebrows raised. "When did you get so gallant?"

I bent down with a smirk, my face now very close to hers.

"I always was."

I stopped breathing when I saw her eyes drop to my lips and I was wondering if she was thinking about the short and plain kiss I gave her in her kitchen, because I was, and it was annoying.

"Come on." I said after clearing my throat, moving back but wrapping on of my arms on her shoulders. "My treat."

"Thanks, i love your rich ass." she joked as I paid for the tickets.

I turned her way and bent slightly to grab her hand, pulling her inside me with after taking the tickets.

"Now, you're not aloud to laugh at the jokes before they happen, or talk over the characters." I point out, still holding her hand, both our arms stretched as she stood slightly away from me. "I know you. I watched 'Back to the Future' a millionth times with you, you're an ass and you literally tell the dialogues at the same time than the characters. Out loud."

"I'm not an ass!" she laughed, squeezing my fingers.

I pulled on her hand and made her twirl as she laughed more and finally took her closer into an other hug. Her laughter was light and happy and once again, it made my heart twist in my chest. I had missed her so much, way too much. And there was no way I was going to let her go again. I was going to make her my priority, no matter what shit it would get me into.

[cosmichoneyedblossoms]

Why’re You Like This

Pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

Genre: Smut / Angst

Word Count: 2,286

Summary: I’ve been missing Jaebum so I decided to write some angsty smut for my baby.

The view out of the apartment windows was more than stunning, it was honestly your favorite part about his apartment. You were used to the busy streets down below that held so much light and chaos that the 15th floor of the building seemed so serene. You enjoyed being surrounded in the dark veil of the night sky, it speckled with diamonds that could not be seen from the streets. Dark velvety eyes viewed your shape as it stood feet away from him, they traced the shape of your legs wearing his favorite jeans paired with the pink sweater he bought you not too long ago.

“You really like the view up here, don’t you?” You gnawed on the inside of your lip as you turned to see Jaebum sitting back in his favorite leather chair, his fingers wrapped around a can of beer.

“I do...” Your voice trailed off as you walked over to the couch, plopping down into its softness, letting it comfort you. He pulled the SnapBack from his head, his curly obsidian locks finally getting the opportunity to breathe, and tossed it onto the coffee table, his body resuming it’s leaned back relax state.

“You know there’s a perfectly good spot to sit right here.” The clunk of the beer can being sat on the coaster reached your ears and your eyes to flicked back over to him, his empty hands patting the vacant spot in his lap.

“I think I’m fine right where I am.” You rolled your eyes, leaning back into the couch. Jaebum stood up from his chair to move in front of you, crouching down a bit, “What’re you doing...?” Jaebum ignored your question while he wrapped his arms around your waist and picked you up, falling back into his chair, your legs coming to straddle his lap.

“This is better.” He hummed, running his hands up your thighs, “What do you think? You like it—”

“Why’re you like this, JB?”

“Like what?” A smirk grew on his lips, which only riled up your frustration.

“Your tour season just started, didn’t it?” He held your legs tightly as he leaned his head back, letting an answer bubble from his lips.

“Yeah, what about it?”

“Which is why you’re calling me over every night, fucking around with my feelings just like you do every time before you disappear for months on tour. I’m not doing it again…” Jaebum looked up at you, your eyes dark, swirling with resentment.

“Not doing what again?” You tried to get off of his lap, tried to create space between you, but he held you hard against his body, “Tell me, you're not doing what again?” You huffed, attempting to push his hands off of you.

“Let me go.” He sighed at your sharp tone, his own frustration starting to boil over.

“I’m not letting go until you explain to me what has gotten into you.” Hearing his defiant words only made you angrier than you already were. You were done being his toy for when he was bored, but then again he had you so wrapped around his finger that it’s impossible for you to get over him.

“Playing the part of your girlfriend for you to leave and come back for us to restart everything. All we do is fuck and hang out, but as soon as you go on tour and come back, you’re completely different.” You slumped down into his lap feeling defeated, knowing he was going to deny it, but there’s a part of you that wants him to agree with it.

“Y/N… why don’t we talk about this in the morning when we’ve both had time to think about—”

“What is there to think about?” Jaebum caught your eyes, caught the sight of warm tears building up on your lashes, noticed the weak smile you forced onto your lips. He didn’t realize that he was breaking you every time he left, every time he kissed you goodbye—he could feel you slipping from his grasp and it was terrifying. You slipped out of his loose hold, the warmth you created in his lap turned cold; you padded your way towards the kitchen, grabbing your bag from the bar stool. Jaebum stood from his spot, attempting to cut you off by standing in front of you, blocking off the doorway.

“I’m not leaving for another week, so we have enough time to talk things through.” You stared down at your dark red house slippers, the ones he bought you when he moved into his apartment, ones that he said were only for you. The bag in your hands, he bought you for your birthday because he knew you had your eyes on it and had been saving money for it. You never asked for anything, but all he’s ever done is give in other ways than you have and you’re here trying to run away from him because of the fear of him disappearing again.

“Jaebum…” Your voice cracked under the strain of trying to keep your tears from falling, “Please, just take me home…”

“Let’s just talk about this please…” He cupped your face, tilting your head up to look at him, your tears showed him no mercy as they rolled down your cheeks from your closed eyes. Gentle thumbs padded your tears away, his heart breaking at the sight of you crying, “Stay with me tonight. We can just talk this out.”

“There’s nothing to talk about…” With choked out words, you tried to tell yourself that this is it, “We really… just…” Talking became too painful, holding it in was excruciating, but releasing it in front of him would be devastating.

Jaebum knew you only cried when you were in pain, he vowed he would never make you cry like you were the day he met you, the day your heart broke for the first time, even then without knowing you but for twenty minutes, he knew he never wanted to see you cry. He pressed the softest of kisses to your tear-streaked cheeks while his thumbs stroked your temples. He rested his forehead on yours, your noses bumping as he closed the space between your lips, “My sweet girl…” He hummed over your lips, letting his barely graze over yours. He presses his pout to yours, melting you with that one gentle kiss.

“Jaebum…” He hushed your whispered words with another kiss, his soft melancholy kisses were enough to bring you back to him, enough to make you think you could give this one more try. You bag slipped from your hands as you wrapped your arms around his neck, his hands wrapped around your thighs and lifted you up, your legs wrapped around his waist.

“I can’t let you leave.” He hummed walking towards his bedroom, “I won’t let you leave.” He laid you back onto the bed, lips connecting themselves to your neck making sure to mark your skin—making it known that you were his. He pulled your pink sweater for your body as well as your bra, his lips continuing to paint your skin shades of maroon, burgundy, and the deepest shades of purple petals. The quiet moans he was eliciting from your lips wasn’t enough to satisfy him, he wanted you screaming his name, begging for him to fill you, pleading for him to not stop. His lips glided from your neck to your breasts, his tongue danced around one of your nipples while his nimble fingers rubbed over the other. Jaebum knew your body, knew what made you tick, what made you mewl—he could feel your racing heart through your skin, exciting his own heart. He pulled away from your hardness to trail kisses down your stomach, your breath hitching from his lips ghosting down to the edge of your jeans; his fingers worked the worn button, it popping open to reveal rouge lace under the cobalt denim. Tugging off your jeans, his placed tender kisses up your delicate skin, the smell of your honeyed vanilla body wash still clinging to your body.

“Jaebum…” You whined, the warmth in your belly sparking to a fire the closer he became your core.

“Be patient.” He rasped, nipping at the silkiness of your thighs, his velvety lips quick to sooth the blooming flowers over your skin. Jaebum ran his fingers over your panty clad core before pressing kisses to the lace, your juices already soaking its fabric, he swiped his tongue over the wet material, tasting the sweet stain to them. Jaebum’s indirect touch to your throbbing core frustrated you, he usually never took this long to dip into you, but you were needy, you wanted him, needed him.

He slid his fingers up your thighs, hooking his fingers into the sides of your panties and slowly pulled them down until they were tossed into a wrinkled mess on the floor. He returned back between your legs, his hot breath fanning over your sensitive pussy, he could see the goosebumps rise up over your skin as he sprinkled kisses around your burning core, his lips periodically coming in contact with your clit as he kissed your mons, “Please…” You cried out, “No more teasing…” Jaebum hummed against your clit, making your back arch off the bed; he slipped his warm wet muscle in between your folds, gathering your juices onto his tongue as he dragged it up your slit. He wrapped his lips around your clit, your voice coming out in gasps of pleasure as he sucked on your nub, his tongue skillfully massaging your sensitive nerves with his rough pallet. You clamped your quivering thighs around his head feeling two of his fingers slip into your dripping core, immediately finding your sweetest of spots; his fingertips rubbed over your aching nerves, stirring up the tingly feeling of your orgasm, “Jaebum—” You rasped, burying your fingers into his hair, trying to push him from your core, but he trusted his fingers into your nerves as he sucked on your clit, forcing you to cum. Your hips jutted off the bed as fire spread through your body, he pulled away to watch your chest rise and fall with breathless screams of bliss as your orgasm washed over you.

“We’re not done yet, baby.” He tugged off his shirt revealing his toned body to your hazy eyes. You’ve been with him multiple times, but this time it feels different. His touch seems lighter, gentler than usual, his kisses feel deeper like they’re no longer just trying to scratch the surface; your eyelids fell heavily as you tried to come down from your high, by the time you opened your eyes, his lips were attaching themselves to yours, your arousal flooding your taste buds while you wrapped your arms around his neck, “Spread wide for me…” He husked against your lips and you spread your legs as wide as you could for him, he reached past your to the nightstand when you shook your head.

“I want to feel you… all of you…”

“Are you sure… if we do this, there’s no turning back…” You nodded, removing one of your hands to run it down his chest to wrap around his cock, lining him up with your entrance. He slowly pushed inside of you, your wet heat already coiling around him tightly—this was the first time he went inside you raw and it felt amazing, he filled you perfectly like you were made for him. He planted his hands on either side of you, slowly thrusting into your core, the head of his cock kissing the hot spots he could only reach. You held onto his wrists as his thrusts became rougher and deeper, them sending electricity through you, “You’re tighter than usual, Y/N…” He huffed, thrusting into you more, unable to keep his steady pace.

“Please don’t stop… I’m so close…” You reached out to him, pulling him down to you as your legs wrapped around his waist, wanting to feel more of him.

“If you do that, I won’t be able to pull out—”

“It’s okay…” You gazed up into his eyes your own catching something dark swirling inside of them. He grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head as he rammed his length into you, your once quiet moans now coming out in screams of pleasure as he relentlessly attacked your sweet spots. Your need to cum came out in strings of slurs and grunts while his free hand came down to rub tight circles over your clit, making your hips arch off the bed as your orgasm hit you hard. The convulsing of your walls around him quickly brought him to his own high, he rammed his hips into your shaking thighs as he filled you to the brim.

Jaebum woke to see the alarm clock ticking over into three in the morning, he groaned and turned away from the clock for his eyes to land on you, sleeping peacefully next to him. It had been a long while since he got to see you sleeping next to him, he thought it was a dream until he reached out to brush loose strands of hair from your face. Your sleeping figure let a content sigh slip from your lips as you moved closer to him, the bare skin of your body coming in contact with his. He caressed your cheek before pulling you into his arms, his fingers starting to gently rake through your hair, “If you thought I was going to let you leave so easily, you were deeply mistaken…” He hummed, pressing a kiss to your forehead while closing his eyes to return back to his dreamland.

[vivilice]

Regret (1)

No warnings

Genre: romance, Otherworldy, fantasy, LGBT+

A wind swept paper petals up towards the sky. A grand castle surrounded by a red sky lay in silence. The servants and stewards of this place all have a fabricated hearts. Only three residents carry a body of flesh and blood. A human with eyes of God and one arm. Who carries a promise with the two others. A dragon who has been around the longest and watches the other two from afar. Who carries his hobbies with vigor. A demon born from resentment which took a paper rose as his vessel. Who keeps the title of Devil and would rather spend time with the two others than those from outside.

The living room was dimly lit. Rosell sat on the windowsill one foot dangling down and with crossed arms. He looked outside at the rain. Hell was soaking with sound of roaring thunder in the distance. It was pleasant to hear. Really making the comforts of home more cozy.

“Wow, it’s thundering like crazy out there. I wonder if it’ll come closer.” A bright young woman sat down beside the Devil. Her peach skin illuminated every time a bolt of lightning lit the sky. Her long unruly blond hair fell nicely on her shoulders. Her smile warmed the Devil who she called brother everytime he looked at it. 

A nice scent came sneaking in on them. It came directly from the kitchen which was placed beside the living room. A young looking man came strolling in. He wore a blue dress with a nice fluffy jacket, an apron and oven mittens while carrying stew. A long blue and white tail closed the kitchen door behind him. His slitted eyes screamed mischievous and his grin was painted a bright red.

 “Food’s served.” He sang. The young woman, who was named Dina Ravenwood, who sat beside the Devil got up and darted to the dinning table. The man with the dragon’s tail, named Ikle Raveice sat down beside her and served her a portion of his cooking. He looked at his younger brother who still sat at the window. “Come eat with us already! I made your fav stew, you know.” Rosell Chartam Ibaraki, the Devil of the Fabricated Hell, stood up and sat down beside Ikle.

The little family sat and ate. Chatting about Dina’s school, about demonic affairs, about fashion and then. Dina,“Oh yeah! Today in religion I got in a heated discussion with two of the boys from the other class.” Ikle sniggered, “Wow, pro’lly ‘cause they had their own version of the Devil and such, huh? Not like anyone know the right answer right?” Ikle said, elbowing the Devil. Dina laughed and stuck her tongue out for her dragon brother. “Why are you booing me I’m right!” Ikle’s use of an old meme earned him another elbow.

“Actually,” Dina began after she had stopped laughing. “We were talking about resentment toward God and how The Devil...is driven by only that, hate.” Hearing Dina say that Rosell could only keep eating. 

A shadow fell over Rosell’s features and he stared out of the window again. Ikle gulped loudly and gestured for Dina to change subject. Dina however, was quite nosy.

“Rosell? I argued against them because I know better, right.” She continued. Without hesitating Rosell answered, “Nah, they’re pretty much right. But you know that too. If it wasn’t for that god-for-nothing, i’d-“ Dina, “You’d what?” Silence feel over the room. “Isn’t that quite dumb?” Rosell turned his head, seething anger started to rise. he clenched his fists.

Dina’s face was stern and Ikle could only sigh. “Dina.” Rosell began, trying to keep his voice calm. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You know what he did.”  Dina was relentless, “I know he killed them. But didn’t you kill his forces too?” Rosell became angrier, he almost said something until Dina said, “Didn’t you want to be able to be left unrestrained? Is this your anger? You didn’t know any of them! Neither the circumstances surrounding why God saw it as a necessity to... ok I won’t defend mass murder. But... you hate a guy you never really met. And for what? The resentment your predessecors formed you from?” 

Silence filled the room after Dina spoke. Suddenly, a loud humm broke out. Rosell turned his head and was met with the biggest “I told you bro!” Face from Ikle. 

All the anger which had been built up suddenly dissapeared as if a witch had swung her staff. It dawned on Rosell.

She was right.

Ikle looked at Dina who returned the look. Then back to Rosell who stared at his plate Suddenly, Dina couldnt take her brother’s silence anymore. 

“Uhh, Rosell? Sorry, I just wanted-“ Dina didn’t get the chance to finish. “You’re right.” “Huh?” It blurted from Ikle. Rosell rested his chin in his hand and looked troubled.

Rosell, “You’re absolutely right.”

~

Footsteps rang out throughout the Heavens. A colorful seraph darted around God’s abode to try and find the lord. Finally, after opening the absolute last door in the whole palace the angel found God.

A big white coat, with splotches of dried paint, floated around a being with a dimmed aura. With colorless hair tied loosely by the neck, held by a huge bead. A young man rotated his body to show a patchwork of vitiligo on his skin. Big round glasses surrounded his eyes which were two differen colors, one blue one and one purple. He broke into a smile, “Miza!! What is it?” The seraph stood straight and answered, “Young lord Bell, I-I believe I found Strezia’s daughter!!!!”

Colorful eyes widened and the smile became bigger. The God jumped into his angel’s embrace and celebrated with gusto, jumping up and down. “Are you for real?! Then what are we waiting for? Hurry and let’s go already!!!”

The seraph staggered and tried to readjust themselves, “Bell,uh Bell. Remember. It’s the human realm we are going to. You need to hide your aura!” Baltazar, the God of The World of Allure smiled, “Well, I think I will need your help... you know. My art block and all.” The seraph called Miza didn’t answer. Only giving a knowing nodd and then the two were on their way.

~

“What do you mean you can’t tell me?!” Baltazar almost started crying. The lady behind the counter  couldn’t help but fidget while Baltazar got closer and closer up in her face.

“Bell... calm down. They can’t just give out the information like that.” Baltazar turned to look at Miza, “But, but. Then how will we...” “Excuse me, sirs?” Both turned to the lady, who was in charge of the orphanage register. “Like I said.” She began. “I can’t just give out addresses at random. And since you can’t prove that you’re related to this woman, then it doesn’t look good for your search...”

Baltazar’s face turned gloom. It was like all the color around him died out and became grey. 

“But there might just be a way.”

Instantly, Baltazar’s face brightened up. The woman behind the counter turned in her seat and began pressing keys on her computer and click around with her mouse. 

“You see... five years ago. A woman related to miss Ravenwood came to search for her as well. She left her business card. It’s all I can give you as of now.” She reached for a file and pulled out a small dull business card.

Baltazar took the card and thanked the lady profusely. Then he darted out the door with Miza dangling behind him.

“So... huff, huff what now?” Miza inquired. Baltazar stopped on a sidewalk and turned to Miza, “Hold out your hands. I need some inspiration.” Miza held out her hands and they both closed their eyes. After minute standing like that, earning the two weird looks from pedestrians they knew where to go.

~

Penelope power walked down the lane in centrum. She kept looking at her watch and walked faster and faster. She had done it so many times that even her stilettos gnawing at her heels wasn’t a bother anymore. Just slap on some patches and then she would be fine! Oh well, she also had to call Dina and wish her luck on her test and then there was that new apartment opening and then. Umpf!

Penelope, “watch were you’re going!” Staggering back from the impact Penelope surveyed the person in front of her. Messy, oversized coat, bleached hair, smudged glasses, and ... heterochromia? Without noticing Penelope had begun to sneer at the jaywalker. “Uh... I’m! I’m so sorry.” The man begun to bow up and down. So much that Penelope felt nauseous just looking at the other, she asked him or was it a her? To stop.

After the person stopped Penelope made her way to leave until her wrist was grabbed. 

Big mistake.

Penelope had practiced martial arts since grade school. She was quite proud of her hand palm block and wrestled the attacker’s hand backwards. A pitiful scream was released and people around the two stared in disbelief. This attacker had to be a man. In Penelope’s opinion it was always men who gave the most ear-piercing scream.

While Baltazar’s soul was about to leave his body, a new guy appeared. “Wait, ms Ravenwood!” Penelope looked at the newcomer. With disdain she said, “Who are you and why do you know my name?” The new guy straightened his back and answered with a slight tremble, “Please, we uh, we wish to speak to you. About Dina.” With those words Penelope let Baltazar go.

~

“You’re Dina’s father’s acquaintance?” Penelope asked and sipped her free coffee, the two others had brought for her.

The attacker was named Baltazar and the other one, who Penelope had thought to be man, Miza. Both sat opposite from her inside a coffee shop. 

The two nodded and Baltazar began, “Yeah, we got your business card at the register. We really didn’t want to bother you... or maybe, just bother you about Dina.” He shrugged helplessly.

Penelope sighed, “I see. Next time don’t jolt me like that. I nearly got a heart attack, you know!”

Both bowed their head to apologize. 

“Well, never mind anymore.” She said to make them stop. “I just need to know if you have any proof of your relations. You must know I just can’t send any stranger over to my niece.”

Miza had an aha moment and rummaged around in her purse. “Is the person on the right familiar in any way?” She asked, while pointing to a picture of two people she pulled out of her purse.

Penelope’s face dropped. 

She asked for the photo and studied it close.

  “It really... is her. Marie...” Penelope said, caressing the picture with her free hand. Her eyes got glassy.

“I see. Only two copies exist of this one. That’s what Marie told me... very well then. Tell me what you want with Dina and then I’ll tell you we’re to find her. But i warn you!” She said, pointing with a stern finger. “If i hear you tried anything fishy, i’ll find some means to drag you two through Hell! If not Dina’s brothers does it first!”

Baltazar held up his hands and broke into a big happy but nervous smile, “We! just wanted her to know about her father and maybe get closure to questions she may have...”

Penelopepaused. then she smiled and then wrote down an address. “She lives with her adoptive brothers. Get along with them and then you’ll get along with Dina.”

~

The building in front of God and his seraph were quite foreboding. Vines crawled up the walls and held the building in a tight embrace. The leaves were so dense it was hard to know which color the house originally held. 

Baltazar started to sweat. He strolled nervously up to the entrance and was about to knock when he heard incoming footsteps. 

“I’ll be back later dolls, I just need to...” a young blondie opened the door and was met by Baltazar’s stupefied look. Miza straightened her uniform and looked directly at Dina.

Baltazar, “May you be... miss Dina Ravenwood?”

Dina closed the door somewhat and hid behind it to shield her.                     “That depends on... What business you two may have...”

Baltazar fretted And didn’t know what to say. His divine power revealed her identity, however he couldn’t just reveal his true form to her. She may be the daughter of a seraph but she shouldn’t get scared.

“Ah! I’m so sorry. Let me introduce me and my companion. I’m Baltazar Farver and this is Miza.” Miza bowed slightly to Dina, “How do you do.” She said.

Dina opened the door some more to look better at the two oddballs on front of her.

“We! Uh, we are acquainted with you dad and we wish to tell you about him and maybe get to know...you?” Dina’s eyes lit up, then she became more apprehensive.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth.” Baltazar looked at Miza in defeat. Miza took the hint and coughed slightly, “Miss Ravenwood. We only have this picture of your mother together with your father.” She gave Dina the picture. Dina’s blue eyes shone like small stars and she looked at the two more brightly. 

“Thank you so much!!! Please, come in come in. I’ll be happy to know you! My brothers are not home yet but they’ll be home soon!” Miza and Baltazar breathed out in relief. They began to step into the small house.

An array of demonic aura appeared on the floor inside the hall the moment the two divine beings stepped inside. It forced God and the seraph to reveal their true selves. Baltazar looked at Miza in horror. The array and the sudden change in atmosphere revealed that they were no longer in the second realm. They had entered Hell, the third realm.

Baltazar had a look of horror spread out on his face. Slowly, he looked at Dina who had sprung back after the array had activated. It held Baltazar and Miza in an iron grip making the two unable to move. 

Dina was frozen to the ground. She looked at the God and the angel for a long while. Unable to say anything. 

Meanwhile, piles of questions weighed down on God’s mind. Why was a human child living in Hell? No, why i Strezia’s child living in Hell? Does her aunt know? Is she a prisoner to an evil demon? Will demons gather now that two from the first realm had appeared?

Baltazar’s train of thought stopped abruptly. He was let down along with Miza and the two looked with surprise at Dina. Dina stood still. And then she lifted a finger to her lips. She then gestured to the two to follow her.

~

Dina poured three cups of tea with an apologetic look. The two heavenly beings were astounded. Dina had been adopted by two demons who now acted as her guardians. She was apparently also dating another demon and was quite happy with her life.

“And that’s really it.” She finished, “Look, I don’t want to hurt you and I’ll be more than willing to hear about my father. I’ve always wondered what happened.”

Miza had on a face of grave seriousness, “Miss Dina. Our presence here... It might cause some... people. To find rather... what do you say? Complicated. We don’t wish to engage in any hostility with your brothers.”

Dina smiled with relief, “That’s good to hear. I’ll make sure you’ll get out of here safely. But please, meanwhile. Make yourself comfortable.” Baltazar quickly took her up on her words an munched on a cookie he had been offered. Miza shot him a menacing look and Baltazar realized he probably took it a little too well. being in Hell and all.

He sighed and smiled. He’d better get on with it, “You see your father-“

“WHATSUP SLUTS! BIG BRO’S BAAAA.....aaaack.” A boisterous woman kicked open the door to the living room. Her voice was as dark as a man’s. She stopped immediately when she saw the angel and the other divine who sat with Dina.

Everybody turned to look at the newcomer.

Sweat began to form on the lady’s forehead and she cleared her throat, “Haha, welcome dearies.” she had completely changed her tone to a more fairer one. 

“Oh Dina, I didn’t know we would have guests. I would’ve dressed for the occasion.”

Dina abruptly stood up, “Ah! Sis! Eh, these two know about my dad!” The lady blinked, “Really?” Suddenly her demeanor changed and she slowly got over and sat beside Miza. “Well, if you have something to tell about Dina that I don’t know. Then I would like to hear as well. The names iklea.” She held up her hand for Baltazar to shake. 

“Hello there, the names Baltazar.” Miza quickly shot Baltazar another look. And he retracted his hand. While giving the sister an apologetic look. 

Wait. didn’t Dina only have brothers? Balthazar thought.

Iklea looked like she tried to hide her displeasure. Looking thoughtful she sat with crosses arms. “Well, anyways. Didn’t you want to talk about Dina’s dad?” She asked, quite annoyed.

Baltazar cleared his throat, “Yeah! uh, yeah. Sorry.” He then began to tell about Strezia.

“Your dad’s name was Strezia. She was one of the most creative seraphs in my court. Oh, I have a picture.” Baltazar procured a picture of a beautiful fair-skinned lady. Her body was totally covered in a white uniform, with dried paint on. Her hair was even longer than Dina’s and her eyes were piercing as if she was looking directly at the viewer. Her eyes were the same as Dina’s.

“Uhh. Mr, Baltazar?” Dina asked hesitantly. “Isn’t this a picture of a woman?”

Baltazar blinked, not once but twice before Miza shot him another glare. “Oh yeah, you father was actually a woman.”

Dina looked slightly surprised. She looked at Iklea then back at Baltazar. “My father? Was a woman? And an angel at that?” She was sounding rather sceptical. Balthazar didnt blame her. But the God did wonder. hadn’t she been living with demons!

Baltazar, “Well, its not hard to change gender when you’re an angel. Or a demon for that matter. And I know for a fact that Strezia loved to explore the nuances of existence.”

Iklea smiled and put an arm around Dina, “Reminds me of someone i know.” She winked. “Excluding the shapeshifting part.” The siblings grinned at each other. 

Miza looked at the picture and sighed, “Strezia was like an elder sister to all of us.”

Balthazar looked fondly at thepicture too, “When she told me she had fallen in love with a human woman I tried to warn her.”

Dina, “Warn her? About what?”

Baltazar looked down, “Humans don’t live forever... I was afraid she would get hurt and then... Look, Strezia wasn’t aware that your mother was pregnant. If she knew...” Baltazar could feel tears forming. He quickly wiped them away.

Dina’s face was frozen, “Mr, Baltazar? Sorry I’m asking but... my father, you address him in past tense could it be that...”

Dina didn’t say anymore. Baltazar lip quivered. He tried to pull himself together. Miza put a hand on Baltazar’s back. Dina took Iklea’s hand and Iklea squeezed it back.

~

Shadows swept the halls of the Fabricated Castle. The light from the mosaic windows danced around and found a silhouette which appeared at the end of the stairs leading to the main hall. 

Red eyes surveyed the foyer and the gaze went towards the living room. 

Hearing unfamiliar voices the silhouette took on a more human appearance with a nice blazer and matching pants.

He opened the door and first saw his sister Dina and then Ikle, “I’m back.” He said, then stopped in the doorway. When the guy opposite of Dina turned around something deep inside of Rosell sank.

Voices. Voices which had been hidden away since he met Dina returned. 

Kill. Kill. Revenge. Chance. Take it!

“Ross-!” Dina yelled and got up. Iklea, who really was Ikle, hurried to make  Dina stop before she finished the name. 

Rosell’s eyes were fixated on Baltazar. 

The God he had spent centuries getting to. He now sat in his living room. Free from his court’s protection.

He had never been this close. So close yet...

Balthazar, “Hello, you must be Dina’s brother. I’m Dina’s father’s Uh... acquaintance.” The God got up from his seat, turned to Rosell and smiled.

The dread dissipated.

Rosell, “Dina’s?”  

Rosell looked at Dina and Ikle who were about to burst.

He then took a looked at the seraph, who was also present in the room.

It seems like... there was some explaining to do.

Dina’s elder brother took off his coat. A small smile formed on rosell’s lips.

“Where are my manners. You can call me Ross.” 

“Ross” held out a hand for God to sake. Baltazar returned the smile and shook the other man’s hand, “I’m Baltazar.”

Ross, “I know.”

Baltazar felt dread roll down his body. 

Rosell, “You hurt me, my lord. I may be a common demon. as you might have guessed from the array at the entrance. Currently disguised as a human for Dina’s sake. But I know my way in this world. And the people one has to know about” He looked directly through Baltazar. 

“Surely, you must have been aware that this is Hell when you arrived, right.” 

Baltazar nodded. Unable to say much more. 

Ross let go of Baltazar’s hand, “Now, tell me. What have I been missing?”

~

Ross, “I see, that explains a lot.”

Dina, “It does?”

Ross, “It explains why you got the eyes of God.”

Baltazar almost spilled his tea, “She’s got my eyes???” This statement prompted a  facepalm from Miza.

Rosell shook his head, “Not yours per see. More like, what priestess in the old world prayed to be able to see through you. To see things that normal people wouldn’t.”

Miza took a sip from a teacup. “You mean she can see magic beings?”

Rosell scoffed, “No, not at all. She still believes my tail is some weird furry statement i have going. Dina turned to Ross, “Ross please!” She then turned to the divine pair and confirmed, ���I’ve always been able to, since I was small.”

Miza sighed and tried not to show her disdain for the demon, “That must’ve been difficult. Your peers must have found you rather peculiar. We are terribly sorry we did not know of your existence earlier. We should’ve been able to help you.” SHe glanced at “Iklea” and “Ross”, “Much earlier.”

Ross glared at the seraph who gladly returned the gesture. It was so intense that Miza could only try to drink from an empty cup and act like she didn’t notice the cup was empty.

Dina, “Not at all! My childhood was... but then I met Ross and Iklea. Since then.. I’ve been rather content. I even decided when my business in the human world is finished. I’d actually like to stay permanently here with my boyfriend... if he still likes me in the future that is.”

Iklea broke into laughter, “HAH! He better. ‘Else I know of a few heartbreaking words to tell him.”

Nobody in the room liked the obvious wink Iklea sent towards the group.

“But back to my dad....” Dina tried.

Baltazar’s face dropped, “Yeah! Right!”

“As I said, Strezia fell in love with a woman named Marie Ravenwood. She stayed together with Marie for some human years until one day... She came home. Locked herself in her room and didn’t show her face for quite some time... Miza.” Balthazar gestured to the seraph, “Found out that ms. Ravenwood had cut ties to her. And then thirteen years ago... you mother. You probably know know what happened.”

Dina gulped and looked down. Ross sat beside her and watched her every move.

Dina’s mother had died giving birth to her. Her mother had cut all ties to her family because of improper conduct. She would rather give Dina up for adoption than let her parents know of her daughter’s existence. As Dina had been told by her aunt.

“I felt it when you mother died.” Balthazar continued when DIna confirmed she knew. 

“Her connection to Strezia made all of Strezia’s closest feel it too. I knew something would happen so I... I forced myself into Strezia’s room. But she was gone. A few days later. Strezia’s light disappeared from this existence...” Dina felt cold.

“Nobody knew what had happened to her as she had thrown away her halo.”

Dina sat frozen. Her shoulders trembled. Dina got up and went out the door. Ross got up too and followed after her. Balthazar could only stare as he was at a loss at what to do. It had been twentyfive years ago and he still remembered the day as if it was today it had happened.

Iklea sighed, “Don’t worry, she... just have to swallow it. They’ll be back. After she gets it out.”

Baltazar felt her pain. A girl who had never met her parents.. and for both of them to wind up dead. Truly sad. 

Baltazar closed his eyes. His empathy gave birth to an inkling of inspiration. He used it to see where the two had gone. ‘

A gentle hand calmly patted a young weeping maiden while rocking her back and forth. A good man consoling his little sister. Whispering reassuring words to her.

After a while Iklea went too and the three of them soon got back.

Baltazar got up from his seat, “I’m sorry that you and Strezia never got to meet. But I’m happy nonetheless to finally being able to meet you. I-“ “Wait a moment.” Ross said.

Baltazar stopped. 

Ross, “I think I know what happened to Strezia.” 

Miza got up instantly.

“You do??? What happened? What do you mean?”

Baltazar looked hopeful at Ross. However, Strezia’s soul had moved on. She wouldnt turn up alive, even if balthazar wanted it. Still, Baltazar wanted closure so he prompted Ross to tell what he knew.

“Some time back. An angel went on a rampage throughout some shopping districts in Hell’s capital. Many high demons came to stop her but her attacks were relentless. She didn’t even try to protect herself. Charging head on.”

They all listened attentively. Nobody were sitting anymore, holding their breaths.

Ross, “She stirred up such a huge incident that the Devil himself showed up.”

Baltazar felt stiffened. He always got trembling fits every time the Devil was mentioned. he tried to gulp down the unease.

“He tried to subdue her.” Ross continued. “But when he went for the killing strike she suddenly threw her sword and met the attack with open arms. He refused her the kill and stopped immediately. But, something in her eyes drove her to steal away his sword, Redwoo, and then she... ended it herself.”

The atmosphere which surrounded the room lay heavily on the people inside. 

Baltazar felt weak and wanted to scream and cry. He blamed himself. His inefficiency. He was supposed to be God but he couldn’t even help one who had been so close to him. 

The loss of Marie was so big that Strezia didn’t even want to be in a world where Marie wasn’t there. A tragedy befitting of such a beautiful love. If this had been a tragedy. 

Baltazar flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head to see Dina with tears in her eyes. “Thank you for coming today.” Her voice was weak and trembling. She fought hard to keep the tears at bay. Baltazar only felt worse when he saw her. He then embraced the girl. And thanked her too. Holding back tears.

She never knew them. But she wished she had. Still, she couldn’t help but feel sad for two people who had loved each other and tried to protect each other. Angels’ life span far surpasses that of a human. With a baby on the way, Miza concluded it must’ve been because Marie wanted to spare Strezia the heartbreak of outliving her child and wife. Nobody knew for sure.

~

“Thanks for having us!” Baltazar beamed. He stood outside of Ross, Iklea and Dina’s house. Miza and him were preparing to go back.

“I’m so happy I came to meet you Dina! And your nice elder siblings of course. Even though I thought that you had two brother to start with... but well, it’s really been fun! Though, maybe a tad bit sad.” Iklea stood and supressed a laugh. Ross only elbowed her.

Baltazar clasped Dina’s hands, “I might be God and have business other places but I would really like it if we kept in contact with each other! You’re really bright and I’m sure Strezia would’ve been so proud of you. So I hope that I can come and visit again. You know, to tell you more and stuff!”

With a returned beaming smile Dina answered, “Yes of course! I really want to know more as well. And you’re really interesting my lord. Even Ross and Ikle- I mean Iklea liked you. And I’m sure they don’t mind.” Dina looked back at her siblings they both nodded in agreement.

“I’m just... I’m just sad that my dad didn’t know about me...” Baltazar patted Dina’s head, “Yeah, it could’ve been different.”

Dina shook her head, “It could’ve. However, I’m happy as is.” She then turned to look at her siblings. Baltazar was truly happy for her.

Miza and Baltazar then said goodbye and disappeared towards the first realm.

“I’m sorry Rosell.” Dina said sheepishly. “I didn’t realize he was God until later...”

“It’s ok. I’m glad you made him stay.”

“You... are?”

“Yeah.”

[gweyson]

how much would u hate me if i asked u to do every single uncommon question for an oc of ur choice?

the absolute madman he actually did it

im gonna put this under the cut sdjkfhsdjfsjkl also im answering for pascal because. Thats My Boy

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

he’s gotten really good at it since he had to start hiding from murder robots... but even before then he was never a super fidgety person so he could sit very still !

2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?

he’s good at pretending everything’s fine when it’s all actually Rather Shit so. yeah pretty easy

3. How do they put themselves to bed at night (reading, singing, thinking?)

thinking mostly.... sometimes he’ll talk to someone and drift off from there but it depends on who’s on lookout or how quiet the group has to stay

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

he tries to remain suspicious of people he meets but at heart he’s too trusting for his own good tbh.... he does try to hold off on trusting stangers these days but hes still a little soft

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

yeah pretty easy. like it’s easy enough to get him to trust you in the first place but once you do something to fuck that up then good luck getting it back lmao

6. Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?

laws arent really. a thing anymore djkfhdljk but when they were he’d like... say laws are immovable and very needed and then do stuff that completely contradicted that view

7. What triggers nostalgia for them, most often? Do they enjoy that feeling?

cooking !! it reminds him of when he used to help his mum out with houseowrk/cooking. he. doesnt really like the feeling because it reminds him that he has no idea if his family is actually still alive or not :(

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

“stop playing in the dirt”

9. Do they swear? Do they remember their first swear word?

he doesnt swear heaps but he does enough that it’s not super shocking whenever he does. he sweras more the angrier/more agitated he gets

10. What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?

he’d regularly lie to his mum just so he could get out of the house and go to parties lol. he’s not super haunted by it or anything (& he was a pretty good kid otherwise so he figures he was allowed at least this one not great thing)

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

he’ll try to play along until he can figure stuff out but if he cant he’ll just go “what tf is happening”

12. How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?

either gets someone to scratch it or uses like. a ruler or smth

13. What color do they think they look best in? Do they actually look best in that color?

he thinks he looks best in green but it’s... not his best colour

14. What animal do they fear most?

big dogs... scarey :(

15. How do they speak? Is what they say usually thought of on the spot, or do they rehearse it in their mind first?

he usually just says whatever comes to his mind tbh. idk how to properly descrive it but like... the way he talks makes him sound smart but not arrogant about it yknow. like you hear him talk and youre like “yeah this is a guy who knows what hes doing”

16. What makes their stomach turn?

not much tbh?? like before everything turned Awful he was studying forensic entomology so like. hes got a bit of an iron stomach lmao. the smell of rotting meat maybe

17. Are they easily embarrassed?

not really? if he does get embarrassed he’s pretty decent at hiding it

18. What embarrasses them?

when he’s the centre of attention in a big group and he can feel everyone staring at him and his face goes all red and aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAA

19. What is their favorite number?

7 !!

20. If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?

he’d go on a really long tangent about it and possibly not even answer the question at hand tbh

21. Why do they get up in the morning? 

to not die, mostly

22. How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)? 

he’ll become pretty aloof and just. not wanna talk. he’ll avoid the target of jealousy a bit as well oops

23. How does envy manifest itself in them (they take what they want, they become resentful, etc)? 

he’ll do everything in his power to one-up whatever’s making him envious. it rarely works

24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom? 

he is comfortable talking about it !! really the only thing that ever stops him talking about it is if someone else is uncomfortable with it

25. What are their thoughts on marriage? 

he likes the idea ! if he does get married though he wants to do it wayyyyy in the future he’s not ready to settle down

26. What is their preferred mode of transportation? 

before everything went shit he preferred driving, now he walks everywhere

27. What causes them to feel dread?

robots. or when astrid is pissed

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 

he says he’d prefer an unpleasant truth but when it actually comes time to deal with it he doesnt go too great lol

29. Do they usually live up to their own ideals? 

he tries... whether he succeeds is another question 

30. Who do they most regret meeting? 

[redacted for spoilers]

31. Who are they the most glad to have met? 

astrid !! as much as he loves everyine else in the group she’s the only one who could realistically protect him if something were to go wrong. shes just more secure

32. Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke? 

not really ??

33. Could they be considered lazy? 

nah not really !! he’s always been a hard worker

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? 

it follows him around for a loooooong time. whether it goes away or just fades into background noise really depends on the situation but it’s not easy for him

35. How do they treat the things their friends come to them excited about? Are they supportive? 

he always tries to be supportive !! unless it’s something like. morally disgusting then No but he tries to support his friends even if he thinks whateber theyre talking about is kinda dumb

36. Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap? 

he just kinda waits it out !! when the world was Not Shit his friends would be regularly trying to set him up with people so he never had to work super hard for it :’)

37. Do they have a system for remembering names, long lists of numbers, things that need to go in a certain order (like anagrams, putting things to melodies, etc)? 

i cant remember the name for it but he does the thing where like. he’ll associate thing a with thing b by finding something that connects them togehter? like a syllable in thing a sounds like thing b so. yeah. im good at explaining

38. What memory do they revisit the most often? 

either when astrid helped him bust out of the factory he was trapped working in or just miscellaneous memories of his mum & siblings

39. How easy is it for them to ignore flaws in other people? 

he tends to ignore people’s flaws which can lead to issues

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

he tries to be self critical but he’s not really self critical enough for it to make a solid difference. usually he has to be told what he’s doing before he consciously realises it

41. How do they feel about children? 

he likes them !! he was the oldest of a lot of siblings so he knows how to handle them & he’s pretty good with them

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal?

his end goal is to stop robots killing everything & for everything to go back to normal so id say he wants that pretty fuckin bad

43. If someone asked them to explain their sexuality, how would they do so?

“hey pascal are you into--” “yes”

QUESTIONS FOR CREATORS (I wasnt sure if you wanted me to do these ones too so. shrug emoji)

A) Why are you excited about this character?

i made him for my comic which. i will start one day fdklgjdlkjgd..... also hes just fun to develop ! i gave him a bunch of traits i rlly like and also i made him like bugs a lot so. i am biased

B) What inspired you to create them?

uh. needed characters for the comic hehe.....i cant remember the exact process i went thru when making him?? i wanted someone who was close to astrid/who she could trust, plus i had the idea for a backstory (i think. like i said i cant remember my exact process)

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

not really, i came up with the concept before i actually made his character

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

he’s always had the same appearance !! even though i should probably change it a little because he looks different every time i try drawing him but shhhhh

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

hes someone i would think is super cool but then. would never actually talk to jkdsfhsdjkhfsdjk. he’d be nice to my face but i’m....not sure what he’d genuinely think of me oops

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

THATS MY FACKING BOY BABEYEYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also excited bc i have angst planned ^____^

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

he’s too gullible and willing to trust strangers. he should know better but he’s too much of an optimist for his own good !!

H) What trait do you admire most?

he’s always able to put on a happy face when he’s feeling awful because he doesnt want anyone to worry & he doesnt wanna bring anyone down !! he’s always thinking ahout everyone else before himself

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

i dont know what this means..... yes??

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

uhh technically not ?? in his original concept he was gonna be in a poly relationship with 2 others but i cut the other members of the relationship. not because of pascal it’s because i thought the group would get too big and like. they value stealth and sneakiness. plus it’s harder for big groups to travel undetected