#and it doesnt help that one of the characters I'm writing- the one from whose perspective this story is from

[deepwoundsandfadedscars]

Being a writer and dealing emotional damage to yourself in the process

[barb-l]

Vaggie is my favorite character, so I want to know where all of this hate for her came from. Like…people hate Vaggie yet love Lute, for example….. wtf? How? And I’m not saying people have to like the same things I do, but I’ve seen mfs bash Vaggie for things other characters have done. Again… what? The? Fuck?

Oh hohoho

I'm in a ranting mood, so let me tell you exactly why by paraphrasing some of the hate posts I've seen classlessly left in the chaggie tag before I blocked the OP's for said posts

"Vaggie has nothing going for her character. All she is, is Charlie's girlfriend"

- not even remotely true. She has a lot going on with her character aside from being The Girlfriend. She struggles with deep self-hatred, something that doesn't necessarily revolve around Charlie, although it does affect her relationship with her(codependency). It's a huge character flaw, though not necessarily bad character writing. It's something she needs to grow from, and something we can still see unfold in the coming seasons. Although she's helping with the hotel to be a supportive girlfriend, it is also something Vaggie believes to be the right thing to do regardless of Charlie. As Rosie inferred, Vaggie saw helping with the hotel as a way to atone for her sins and to do better. Even if the person running the Hotel weren't Charlie or anyone she fell for, I believe it's something she still would have helped with given her backstory. She has connections with other characters too that can be explored more in the future. Aside from just being "Charlie's girlfriend", she is Carmilla's possible additional daughter figure, she is Alastor's biggest obstacle in gaining whatever tf from Charlie, she is Lute's rival, and finally she is Lucifer's blatant parallel.

"Being a fallen angel is the only thing carrying her character. And we barely got any build up on that."

- let's say that's true. IF that's the case, why isn't anyone spitting hate on characters like Husk whose only "thing" is being a past overlord? Even though this had less foreshadowing than Vaggie's angel secret? Even though his only purpose in the story so far is to be Angel's love interest? He may be an alcoholic, but it's barely touched upon what terrible effects that may have for him. And although having his soul owned by Alastor sucks, does he actually suffer aside from that one time Alastor threatened his life? All Alastor is making him do is man the bar(so far). He has nothing to develop from with his character either. In fact, aside from the swearing and the grumpiness, he's a pretty swell guy who doesn't seem to fit in hell. He doesnt have a flaw that the story can aim to have him improve from. All he has going for him is his romance arc with Angel, and his past as an Overlord. Which, i repeat, isn't a bad thing! But how come Vaggie would get so much hate for similar criticisms, while Husk is widely loved by majority of the fandom?

"She doesn't have any chemistry with Charlie"

- something told by someone who ships:

Ch*rl*stor - two people who have only had direct interactions in the pilot(a quick dance number), episode 5(Alastor taking advantage of Charlie's daddy issues to curry favor with her and hit Lucifer's ego), and ep 7 (Alastor taking advantage of Charlie's dejection to make a deal with Charlie). A ship involving the kindest soul in Hell and a serial killer who has no desire to change and ridicules the dream Charlie holds so dear and is so passionate about. It isn't a bad thing to crack ship. Hell I do it too, but it's such a hypocritical thing to say that a canon ship has no chemistry only to claim that two people who have barely any meaningful conversations and positive interactions objectively look more like a couple and would be a better choice to be canon. Just because you like how they look in your imagination doesn't mean canon is objectively bad.

Ch*rlie/Emily - two characters who share so much similarities they can be sisters. It is such a personal thing. I have nothing against those who ship them. It just isn't for me because of the amount of similarities they have. With the intentional parallels, I personally think Emily would be better off having a gf that resembles Vaggie. Where Chaggie has a sunshine demon X grumpy angel duo, Emily could visit hell and fall for a demon who would be her opposite.

Ch*rlie/Lucifer - it's. Incest. Cmon.

"She doesn't care about the denizens of Hell"

- Vaggie's in Hell in the first place because she spared a demon's life. She cares TOO MUCH!

"Vaggie lied to Charlie. Even Adam was more honest with her!"

- I dont even... It should be common sense why Vaggie, who had just been betrayed by ANGELS, would not trust a demon princess with her true identity. Charlie and Rosie already talked about this. Or did they have their eyes and ears closed throughout episode 7?

"She ruined Lucifer's song by reprising it. Why would she do that when it's supposed to be Charlie and Lucifer's thing?? Why would she go and use a song about familial love and change the meaning to romance??"

- musicals that reprise songs to change its initial vibe has always been a thing, first of all. Vaggie reprised Lucifer's song specifically because they have been parallels of each other for the whole show. In fact, Lucifer indirectly echoes back Vaggie's reprise, with his lyrics in The Finale mirroring Vaggie's lyrics. It's not about Vaggie "stealing Lucifer's thing", it's about these two angels who both love Charlie reminding her of that love and how much they believe in her, despite being withheld of Heaven's love and losing faith in it in the process. It's about these two forms of love withstanding Heaven's abandonment and being there for someone who wants to face Heaven head on.

This is probably one of the most ridiculous anti-Vaggie criticism I've read. It's so weird to see such an earnest act of love as something audacious. If anything, Lucifer's the one with the audacity. I love him a LOT, but he did not deserve to be forgiven just because he had a beautiful song number with his daughter. It doesn't change the fact that he neglected Charlie for ages. If anyone deserved to sing More Than Anything, it was Vaggie because she has truly shown her commitment to Charlie. But, yunno. Baby steps.

Honestly for a lot of the characters in this show, all it seems to take for the fandom to like them is to have a song number that they like. People find Vaggie's songs boring. So they find her boring. Not a lot is known or shown of characters like Vox, Velvette, Alastor, and Husk, but apparently they're better developed. Just because they have sick song numbers doesn't mean they're better developed...

[silliest-basilisk]

BASIL!!!! i am now asking you about your ocs!!! <3

assuming tumblr lets the cat through, that is my cat who i turned into an emoji. except on tumblr, she doesn’t quite work as an emoji and instead becomes a big transparent image

AHHH OMG YOUR KITTY <3333 I LUV HER

anyway HELL YEAH BUCKLE IN THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG ONE

so i have several different universes. to start us off, my ttrpg ocs. or specifically one ttrpg oc, because you already heard about the other ones i care most about that arent just rip-offs of fictional characters i like.

this is virginia. she's my character for my best friend's d&d campaign where we play as mobsters doing mobster things and she's my favourite ttrpg character i've made to date. i won't tell you much about her because i've actually written some stuff for her so you can find out about her from that as opposed to me just telling you! read about her here!!!

next up.... uhhh ok before i tell you about my other ocs im just gonna say that a lot of this stuff is gonna be vague as hell because i'm basically in a perpetual state of revamping and revising these stories.

so first off we have my oldest and dearest to my heart universe which um. ironically is the only one that remains untitled. actually you know what this one takes a lot of explaining because it's got a lot of complex worldbuilding so i'll come back and tell you about this one some other time, ok? i dont really have the strength rn to write about it 😭

ok then we have dreambound, which is a fantasy story that i made based on a dream i had once 🔥it's the story of a young princess called yavalina (yava for short) (she/her) getting hit with a sleeping spell right before her coronation, and her consciouscness is transported to a maaagical world borne of her dreams!!! though like i cant stress this enough its an actual real world, she's not just like. hallucinating. the people in there are real.

anyway in order to find out how to break the sleeping spell and get back home she has to travel to the magical wishing tree at the heart of the ever-shifting Circadian Forest, where the fabric of this world's reality is the thinnest and the connections to other dream worlds (there is one for everybody from yava's world!) are the strongest! to assist her on this journey she enlists the help of senfrey (he/him), a mage whose magical heirloom compass shows a way through the forest. they set off, and along their journey meet many waAaAacky characters, grow as people, etc etc, yknow, typical hero's journey stuff.

the crux of this story is anticipatory grief. yava is scared of how much fun she's having and how much she likes spending time with senfrey, because she knows that once their journey comes to an end, they'll part ways forever. her arc revolves around her making peace with this fact.

here's some old-ish drawings of them! yava's the cat, senfrey is the axolotl! also fun fact, this universe pulls from omori a lot aesthetic wise, that's why yava's monochrome.

neeeeext up we have fran finchley, which is the result of me going "man harry potter has such cool aesthetics, too bad its a shit series with a shit author". so this is an extremely self-indulgent magic school story, set in a fictionalized version of great britiain, which focuses on a 13 y/o girl named frances finchley (fran for short) (they/them) who. yknow. starts attending a magic school. but like instead of being awesome and making lots of friends, nobody really likes them cause they're strange (autistic) 👍instead they become friends with this new teacher named crowheart knockwood (they/them)!!! i cant believe we're both goth, trans and autistic!!! they find a kindred soul in one another bc crowheart's not human, they're part of a species known as shadowfolk!! and shadowfolk are generally pretty negatively stereotyped by humans so crowheart doesnt quite fit in among them but they were also raised by humans, so the isolationist shadowfolk community doesnt rly accept them either 👍but yeah uhhhh they are epic friends and do shenanigans

this story is generally super self-indulgent, fran is the most mega turbo self-insert to have ever self-inserted, the whole thing's got a gothic aesthetic cause im goth (including both fran and crowheart being goth in-universe), and they also both have corvids associated with them cause i love corvids (fran is associated with jackdaws and crowheart with. well. crows. hooded crows to be precise)

i only have incredibly shitty drawings of these two and tumblr is freaking out when i try to put them here so i guess its not meant to be. maybe i'll show you when i make some better drawings of them.

and finally, there's one that is also untitled but in my oc discord channel is labeled as "julius & adam romantic buddies". i came up with it when we were learning about character archetypes in romantic (the era not the genre) literature in school and i was like "hey wouldn't it be funny if a wertherian hero and a byronic hero were friends"

basically:

a wertherian hero is a character with an active imagination, usually a poet, who feels misunderstood and like they do not belong in this world and are very sad and depressed about it. usually also suffer from an unrequited love. often also suicidal

a byronic hero is a rebellious individualist, a mysterious, brooding figure at odds with the world. they're haunted by their past, often because they committed some great evil in it. they also typically have strong convictions and ideals which they perceive as superior to others, which makes them come off as arrogant.

so in the context of this story, the byronic hero is adam (he/him), an immortal being haunted by his past misdeeds (and perhaps even a lost love....) who is now a hermit and just wants to live his life undisturbed.

and the wertherian hero is julius (also he/him), a young poet struggling to make ends meet and find love.

through shenanigans which i have not figured out yet, they become roommates. cue dumbass sitcom hijinks

they eventually grow to value each other and become awesome friends (and maybe even... lovers... but idk idk!!!)

this is them... julius is the sheep, adam's the big shadowy thing... i actually got so pissed at how shitty adam looks in the first picture that i went and drew a new thing of him right now, which is the second picture. maybe i'll draw an updated julius sometime too

[baejax-the-great]

ao3 exists, plus it doesnt even matter what terms i search for on tumblr 100% of the time theres fanfiction. literally you can search any words on this website and some kpop guy/ reader fanfics flood the results every single fucking time. plus some of us are not here for fandoms??? your circus/clown analogy is stupid

So I'm incredibly allergic to shrimp-- to the point where if I ate a single shrimp I would die, to the point where I don't really consider shrimp food anymore--and it's the weirdest thing, yesterday i went to Target to buy hair conditioner, and they were selling shrimp. Don't they know it wasn't what I was looking for and I can't eat it anyway? Why would they do this? Totally fucked up of those shrimp catchers to try to poison me like that.

But analogies clearly aren't your thing, so let me break this down for you.

AO3 does indeed exist, but your suggestion that fanfic live there and ONLY there is akin to saying that imgur exists, so nobody should be posting images, whether they be photos or art, on any other website. Twitter exists (sort of), so really nobody should be posting shit posts or hot takes that are fewer than 140 characters or whatever.

Not everyone uses AO3. There is no law saying that if you write fanfic, you must post it on AO3 and nowhere else. There will never be a law that says that, because that's not how the internet works. Tumblr, one of the few social media sites that allows longform blogging, is in fact a great alternative to AO3 for one-shots. It's a little trickier for multi-chapter posts, but I've seen people make it work.

AO3 is not social media. People can't DM there, send asks, make friends, bump their post to the top of the feed (unless they are an asshole who is about to get blocked by half of fandom for pulling that move). Do you like social media? I mean you're here, on tumblr, bothering a total stranger, so you must see some value to it. Guess what--fanfic authors also enjoy being on social media and sharing what they've been up to, including their WIPs.

Things you aren't looking for being part of your searches is literally just life on the internet at all times forever. Earlier this month I was looking for a reference of draped fabric for drawing purposes. I googled 'chiton drawing' (chitons like the ancient Greeks used to wear), and all I got were drawings of molluscs of the genus 'chiton.' Alright, I did a google search for "toga drawing" and learned that there is an anime girl named Toga and people very much enjoy drawing her. Were the artists of the molluscs or the anime girl to blame for me having to slog through a bunch of irrelevant pictures to find one that could help me with my drawing? No. They correctly labeled what they were doing. That's just life.

Seeing fanfic in the tag doesn't harm you. At all. It doesn't matter if you find it cringe, or it's a ship you don't like, or it's xReader. For like ten seconds you looked at words you didn't particularly like, and then you moved on. How is that different from literally any other post on tumblr? I see bad takes and essays I don't care about on this site all the time. It's called scrolling. Again, this will be the case for every website on the internet forever. Are you telling me you read every tweet in your feed? Every reddit post? Sometimes you see irrelevant stuff. I guarantee some of my mutuals have already deemed this long ass post irrelevant and are scrolling on by. What makes fiction that much more abhorrent to you than the rest of the nonsense?

If you really hate seeing fanfic, tumblr has content blocking and tag blocking. You can block the phrase "x Reader." You can block the tag "fanfic." You can block all sorts of things, and if that doesn't work, you can just block the writers whose existence annoys you.

Sorry man, you personally not liking fandom and not using tumblr for it has really no bearing on what everyone else is doing. Like it or not, tumblr is a hub of fandom, and fanfic authors are going to be a part of every fandom on this green earth. Just because you came to the circus in order to admire the pretty fabric used on the tents doesn't mean the performers are in the wrong for doing their thing.

[soulsfractured]

23 for Yazoo

16 for Tseng

12 for Kuja

3, 4 for All Listed Muses, not just the three picked above

Random Character Asks

THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME A CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT ALL MY BABIES. I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH. I really need to write more with everyone at some point, once I get back into the swing of writing again.

It's a bit long so everyones answers are under the cut!

Cyril

3 - Wears glasses because he can't wear contacts they bug his eyes too much. Still wishes he could though because he'd look more like Genesis that way.

4 - "If it could help my dad come back faster? I'm willing to give it a shot. So long as no one gets hurt from it, because then I won't do it."

YOU WANNA SEE ME CRY. Cyril put all his focus into biological sciences bc he wants to help Genesis in every way possible. He just wants to live a quiet life with his dad please let him have this--

Kuja

3 - Absolutely wears a packer, and had his codpiece custom made to fit it. Has thrown it at someone before, will throw it again.

4 - "Peace is but a shadow of death, desperate to forget its painful past... Though we hope for promising years. After shedding a thousand tears, yesterday's sorrow constantly nears. And while the moon still shines blue, by dawn, it will turn to scarlet hue."

Its in there, it's one of my favourites coming from someone who doesn't think he can die. Really makes me wonder if he had suspicions about it, but Garland gaslit him into ignoring those thoughts.

12 - Absolutely has tried to dye his hair and his tail once. It went horribly and he couldn't get all the dye out. It was all a faded blueish colour for weeks

Luneth

3 - His hair is always in his face because he enjoys playing with it/having others play with it. But, he doesn't enjoy it against his neck at the same time so, ponytail. Not really practical, but that's not important.

4 - "Slacking off saved her from the curse, so maybe that 'luck' might rub off on us!"

I cant explain why this one sticks out to me, but Luneth and the rest of the party actually acting like kids and joking around is really sweet? Idk I guess I love that theres a bunch of moments we can see them enjoying their journey and not just be silent strong protagonists.

Sephiroth

3 - Literal cat eyes. They glow, his pupils shrink and widen with mood. He has cat eyes.

4 - "We'll meet again soon."

Just Sephiroth and Zack talking in that entire scene. The small smile when Zack says "I'll hold you to that" the notice that Zack wanted to say something before he left. It's one of my favourite CC Sephiroth moments.

Tseng

3 - Really enjoys wearing longer socks. Knee or thigh high are preferable, and 90% of them are just black. He organizes them so he doesnt grab two different lengths (which has happened a few times before)

4 - "There is nothing more precious than a human life"

It's SUCH a development for me to see Tseng say this. Consider all that he does, and all that he has done. He may commit atrocious deeds for Shinra, but he's failed missions to help random Shinra employees before, he's put himself at risk to protect others.

16 - Tseng's darkest secret that he won't admit is that he absolutely hates Shinra. Without a doubt he does wonder what life would have been like if he stayed in Wutai. Would he have stayed at the Temple? Would he had left anyways? What if what if what if. He will not admit this thought crosses his mind and tries to tell himself it's just hypothetical. But it's a thought that does come up more often just before Rufus becomes president.

Vincent

3 - Refuses to cut his hair. Even a trim it takes a long time to convince him. He's not gonna die anytime soon so whose gonna see the mess it becomes anyways. But he still takes pretty good care of it- mostly

4 - "I don't care what you are doing, so much as the idiotic way that you are doing it."

The tired dad quote of the year bc god dammit the party is a bunch if teenagers and their old man needs a fuckin nap so he can stop telling them dont put that in your mouth

Yazoo

3 - Vegetarian. He just doesnt like meat- usually he just takes whatever meat he gets on food and pushes it to the side or gives it to his brothers. He has picked a burger apart to take the patty out and just eaten it like that, just sides and bun.

4 - "I will not have you refer to Mother that way!"

One of the VERY few times that Yazoo actually shows emotions??? P l e a s e. I love him so much and actually getting to see that cool exterior crack is so interesting.

23 - As a candle Yazoo would be a more woodsy kind of scent. Damp earth, firewood, stagnant waters. There's a slight spice mixed in as well, like a faint hint of cinnamon.

[strifespecibi]

Like domino's pizza? Also what the fuck is cablepool?

so okay. for reference, cable aka nathan summers is this time-traveller who was born many years in the future in a dystopic society. his goal was to hop around and prevent that future from happening. he ended up joining the xmen and yadda yadda, rest is history. domino is his on-again off-again love interest and deadpool is his partner. i'll get to it in a moment

so dominos power is being able to control luck. no, really. she gives her opponents bad luck and in turn gives herself good luck. it is (from the wiki) "…largely participatory - in order for the luck to take effect, domino herself must engage in an action whose chance she can affect. for example, if domino were to stand before a hail of bullets, she would be shot. instead, she must take action; in attempting to avoid the gunfire, she will miraculously bob and weave just right to avoid every single shot." which is SO interesting on its own to pull vriska analysis from. also, one kind of funny note about her design is that her right eye is surrounded by black in the shape of an eyepatch! that eye also glows sometimes. so you see why i think she was the inspiration for vriska. there's also a lot of similarities with her backstory and personality but i'm not a domino scholar and i don't wanna mischaracterize her here so all i can say is if you want to know more about her and how she inspired vriska, check the wiki lmfao

picture of domino for clarity

so now lets wrap around to cablepool, the best example of nicieza yaoi this side of the mississippi. i will be perfectly honest this one isnt even subtext its just canon. they quite literally went to intercourse pennsylvania together. you can watch this amv for examples of what their dynamic is like ive been entranced by it for all of today. also this one because its really funny. regardless. so deadpool was originally created in new mutants vol 1 issue #98 as a mercenary who was hired to take out cable so they spent a lot of their early years trying to kill each other. they are forced to stop avoiding or attempting to kill each other in cable & deadpool vol 1 because of this virus that had infected both of them and thus the only way for them both to survive was to merge their dna structures in an event which i like to call cablepool homoerotic goop cannibalism. the result of this is that cable cannot time travel without taking deadpool with him. following your lover across the multiverse because of fate and to save the world? thats vrisrezi as hell! anyway they cure the virus and they get to stop bodysliding together woohoo. a similar thing happens when cable gets lost in alternate universes and deadpool has to travel through a bunch to save him. then there was everything with cable and providence … so providence was this little paradise island that cable built off of his orbital station called providence that got attacked by aliens and space pirates and deadpool ran in to help only to find oops! cable doesnt actually fully trust him! so cable 'dies' (he doesnt actually die he comes back) along with providence because thats how much he doesnt trust deadpool. which is reminiscent of the jack noir confrontation innit? vriska was so convinced of her own heroism and skill and so afraid of trusting others that she preferred to die than not be at the center of the narrative (fitting as well since deadpool is obviously a very meta character lol). they havent interacted a whole lot beyond that after cable & deadpool ended because the x-editors are evil and hate me and they hate nicieza yaoi and also deadpool is now a Popular Character so they have to tear him away from his roots and make him gay with spiderman instead for some reason. but i get it. get me on a cable & deadpool book i'll be normal (i will not be normal). anyway that book ended in 2008? iirc? which means it was likely On The Mind whilst writing homestuck. and if hussie wasnt into deadpool but WAS into daredevil enough to make a daredevil clone oc i will eat my hat because deadpool And specifically cable & deadpool is like, completely in tune with their writing style. anyway theres my proof that domino is vriska but cablepool is vrisrezi that was most certainly not an excuse to talk about my xmen Hope you all enjoyed it👍

[snickerdoodlles]

nimona fix-it that i'm not writing. may properly clean this up when i have more brain space

(tags originally from this post)

this has been sitting in my drafts for. months. as i tried to gather my thoughts beyond a big hearty Yeah.jpeg #honestly? what would've made the movie work a lot more for me? #is if during nimona's freak out over the kid being scared of her/calling herself a monster #ballister had turned to her and gone ''uh. aren't you?'' #because i think it wouldve helped them better tie several themes in the movie: first that nimona does not actually want to be destructive. #that's very much her lashing out in a ''you call me the monster? well ill BE your monster'' #but it comes from a place of emotional pain so directly facing with the consequences of it understandably sets her on a spiral #second is ballister's own spiral of going ''burn me? fine i burn YOU'' and parallel him hitting a similar spiral nimona had for contrast #third. i dont think ballister's prejudice should have been prompted externally. #the movie like. doesnt actually want to/doesnt trust itself to deal with its characters actually being prejudiced #which is why ballister's turning away from nimona had to be prompted by the director through his ex #to give him an easier rejection of it and reconciliation with nimona (to give ALL of them an easier rejection/reconciliation of their #prejudice with the exception of the director. who just dies.) #if ballister had called nimona a monster in that moment i think it wouldve helped illustrate a few things better: that societal prejudice is #ingrained deeper than most people realize. ballister would have fully accepted nimona as a monster but not recognized that he shouldnt be #thinking of her AS a monster in the first place. theres still something inside him that he needs to finish unpacking and heal. #i think it also would have shown better how people who are victims of prejudice can still perpetuate it. making it so that ballister had to #be externally manipulated to enact that against nimona undermines the message of harm by societal prejudice that the movie tried to send #also i just think switching up that betrayal wouldve made for a smoother sequence of events in movie. ballister calls out nimonas destruction #and reveals he still has ingrained prejudice. nimona runs and ballister can even still run into his ex again afterwards. and if they want #to keep nimona's backstory the ex revealing that to ballister could instead be how ballister realized how wrong he was in the first place #itd give context to realize the extent to which he hurt nimona with his thoughtlessness and work better to prompt him running out to #reconnect with her. and fix that 'change the narrative' line because as is its like???? kinda hanging in the breeze as is oof #ANWYAYS tl;dr--nimona falls apart for me because the movie wants to tackle heavy topics but doesnt want any of its characters to act out in #any truly problematic ways. so ALL the bad as to fall on one specific villain (whose so much of a prop she only gets a title and not a name) #that they can just kill at the end and absolve the entire town of their 'sin' (prejudice). its v much the christian theme of the#sacrificial goat+scapegoat actually. the director stops representing prejudice and is just there to give everything a clean resolution #it has a lot of the pieces but its too…timid to really dig into and address them. this prejudice isnt the only one but my tags are SO LONg #nimona

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

Ya know what tbqh I'm having a lot more fun interacting with SJM since deciding to hash tag stan tamlin but also what grinds my gears!?!? What butters my fucking croissants!?!?!

Tamlin has HOBBIES.

No no. Seriously. I have a point. Listen:

We know the following pieces of information about the Spring Court/Tamlin in ACOTAR: Most of the government falls squarely on Tamlin's shoulders because most of the old guard and the former sentries are dead, because they left the Spring Court to search for a "cure." He and Lucien actively patrol their borders and hunt for monsters that threaten humans and faeries alike. Taxes are collected once a year via the Tithe, but Tamlim absolishes the Tithe during Amarantha's rule. There are no cities. There is almost no distinction in the Court between High Fae and "lesser fae." He was a victim of abuse via his father and two much older brothers. Human slaves used to be common, but Tamlin finds his family history abhorrent and considers himself a protector type. He personally took Lucien to another Court for healing after Amarantha damaged his eye in a way that Tamlin himself could not fix. A faerie dies in his living room and Tamlin personally buries him. Tamlin takes refugees from other courts. The most important holiday is Calanmai, wherein Tamlin sacrifices his bodily autonomy and gets possessed by a god (?) in order to generate magic during the changing of seasons. He can be grouchy but he has a sense of humor; he writes silly poems for fun and plays music well enough that Feyre thinks he could make an actual career of it.

A lot of this gets re-conned, re-framed as "conservative" and sometimes actively ignored in order to attribute more positive qualities to Rhys - who in ACOTAR, is shown to be a manipulative liar who commits murder for fun and drugs/assaults Feyre. Tamlin clearly suffers from PTSD in ACOMAF but his symptoms are not "noble" or cute like Feyre. The narrative postulates that while Feyre needs to learn that she's worthy of love and freedom and that her dark past doesnt define her, Tamlin needs to be "redeemed" because his trauma is not as important or as valid as hers, and he can't be worthy of help until he repents for his "crime" of acting in ways that are - from his perspective- completely logical, and based in genuinely good/loving intentions.

In ACOWAR, Feyre states that she begins implanting/altering the memories of Tamlin in other people's heads to make them abandon him. She also steals a gift (presumably, a gift from Rhys to Tamlin) because she doesn't feel he deserves it, and contemplates burning down the rose garden which is pretty much all Tamlin has left of his mother.

This... does not make me hate Tamlin in the slightest. I read these books and actively struggle to hate him the way the narrative wants because everything about him is legitimately just tragic and pitiable.

While all this goes on the narrative goes on to reposition Rhysand - the guy who caused a lot of the main heroine trauma - as the best guy who ever lived. He's cruel to be kind, deeply misunderstood and hurting in silence. A martyr whose pain is just like the heroine's, who is an immortal ancient warrior king more powerful than any other person in the world but still somehow the narrative equal of a barely literate 20 year old woman. That sure is a choice and ya know what fine, whatever, I accept that this is the story I'm reading. But back to my earlier point:

What hobby does Rhysand have other than sex and fighting?

Answer me. Quickly.

The retcons with Tamlins character are annoying on their own because SJM clearly thinks her audience is too stupid to remember book one of her own series. But it's especially annoying for me given that Rhysand is a boring mouthpiece for the author to moralize her faerie books. As a character he's incredibly bland. There's nothing about him that's compelling because everything "bad" that he does is justified and righteous, and he can't be challenged or hurt because that would make Feyre (the other author mouthpiece) very sad. :(

Anyway remember to stan tamlin, send tweet.

[thealmightyemprex]

SCi Fi classics Revisited :Galaxy Quest

For the second sci fi classic Iam revisiting is a personal favorite as well as being beloved by many sci fi fans ,the 1999 film Galaxy Quest

The film follows the cast of the show Galaxy Quest,,a classic scifi TV show ,whose careers have kind of washed up and now mostly make cash by going to conventions and making personal appearences , when they are enlisted by an alien race known as the Thermians to save their people ,as they think they are real space heroes

OK the Premise is great ,but what I love about the film is itdoesnt coast on the premise ,it explores it.Like the obvious joke of the film ,is "What if the castof Star Trek where contacted by aliens who thought Star Trek was real",and while Trek is the obvious inspiration what works about the film is its a bit more then just a Trek parody .I see the film as a story of a bunch of actors becoming the heroes they are seen tobe and a love letter to the positive aspects of fandom.(Alao dont know where to put this but my favorite little refrence in the film is not to Star Trek,but to A Midsummer Nights Dream by William Shakespeare,as the lead character of the the show within the film is Commander Peter Quincey Taggert,named after Peter Quince ,the leader of a group of actors )

The filmis masterful in something I think is lacking in modern comedy ,the characters are funny, the situationslead to humor,but there is a heart to the story and the situation does have stakes .Part of that is the film really sells normal people in this sci fiworld,both in the writing (Like I love that they explain why the Thermians look humanoid ,they use translators and devices to appear humanoid when they are actually octopus like cretures ) but allso the effects.The film had the best of the best of that time,ILM for the visual effects and Stan Winston for the Creatures ,tomake the science fiction elements feel real.Alsofilm is fullofgreat set pieces

The cast helps make the movie ,aa the filmhas a calvacade of great performers and all work eachother beautifullly and all get their time to shine .I'm gonna devide the cast into sections

The Villain :Sarris is a severely underrated villain in my oppinion,in that he is the most serious character in the film ,a sadistic brutal warlord .Played by the late great Robin Sachs,I lovehis performance cause he is COVERED in makeup to make him the insectoid lizard cyborg beast ,and yet he feeels very natural ,with Sachs bringing tolife just this malicious monster and I adore his voice ,they way he barks most of his lines is effective.I also like that apart from really two moments ,he is played straight and not really comedically (With one of his comedic moments being fairly dark ).my favorite moment is when he finds out the group are actors and 1.He lets out this amused yet malicious chuckle 2.Forces our lead character Jason to confess to the Thermian leader Mathasar the truth and just softly says"He doesnt understand.Explain as if he were a child ".

The Thermians :The Thermians are a race of aliens that have mistooken the old Galaxy Quest TV show for historical documents ,and are so inspired that it has united theirpeople and modled their civilization on its ideals .I think what makes the Thermians work is their goofyness is sincere ,they are sweet goodhearted people who are just a little offfrom humans,and a lot of praise can be put at their actors ,with Jed Resse as Teb being particularly funny (Who has the funniest scene in the movie when a teleporter goes wrong) ,theres a sweet love story between Missi Pyle as Laliari and one of the heroes Fred ,PAtrick Breen as Queleik has a truly heartwarming relationship with Alexander Dane ,and Enrico Colantoni is so funny yet so lovable as the Thermian leader Mathasar,he is one of my favorite parts of the film.Also you get Rainn Wilson in his film debut.....Notmuch to say,just fun tosee him

The Crew:I love themain performers here.This is not only a great ensamble of actors ,its a great group of characters.This was not the only film to do the "Actor turned hero "type story (Fight Night comes to mind ),but what I think makes this stand apart is its not just about them being heroes ,it isabout them realizing their work mattersto people and them patching up relationships with eachother.Our main character is Jason Nesmith ,played by Tim Allen in what I think is his best role .Jason,wo played the Commander on the show , is a guy who can be egotsit and can showboat for the fans ,but is actually a lonely guy who has alienated hisformer castmates and has particularly strained relationships with Gwen and Alexander ,and Allan while still getting funny scenes gets toshow offhis dramtic skills ,particularly the scene where he confesses to Mathasar .Gwen DeMarco is played by sci fi legend Sigourney Wever ,really getting to show off her comedic capabilities and I swear she gets some ofthe funniest lines.ALexander Dane is possibly the most memorable character ,due to a brillaint performance by the late great Alan Rickman (In one of his best performances ) as a rather bitter Shakesperian actor who has come to resent being associated with this silly sci fi show ,and in particular,sick and tired of hearing his catchphrase "By Grabthars Hammer " said all the time ,he is dryly funny and yet gets a truly emotional subplot .Tony Shaloub is fantastic as Fred Kwan ,this mellow chill dude who takes all the weird space stuff in stride ,and even falls in love with an alien .The always awesome Sam Rockwell plays Guy Fleegman the second funniest of the main crew ,a guy who was a crewmember who was killed by one monster in one episode ....And he is damn proud of it ,cause he is a fan of the show but that also means he's the most trope savvy which gives him an existential crisis due to being the "Expendable " crew member .Finally we have Daryl Mitchell as Tommy Webber ,who was on the show as a kid .He has some great jokes ,and being the pilot there are some funny moments there

One last character to touch on is Justin Long (In his film debut ) as a Galaxy Quest fan , who also ends up helping save the day

So I have been praising the film a lot ,do I think its perfect ?No ,but my only problemis a nitpick and that is there are too many fake outsnear the end and by end Sarris is just a snarling bad guy,wouldve liked some banter

Overall this is 1.A great comedy 2.An enjoyable sci fi film 3.A wonderful exploration of fandom .If you havent seen this movie,SEE IT

@ariel-seagull-wings @the-blue-fairie @themousefromfantasyland @theancientvaleofsoulmaking @goodanswerfoxmonster @princesssarisa @angelixgutz @amalthea9 @filmcityworld1

[unicyclehippo]

Hi, ollie. I just wanted to ask a question. I've always admired your writing, your characterization, your voice, and everything. What advice (? Tip? Where to start?) would you give for someone who has trouble writing much less give voice to the characters they want to write (like me)? I'm desperate, I want to write. I just can't seem to start.

gday mate thanks for the sweet message

as for writing, it’s hard bc obviously i don’t know specifically what you’re struggling with but i’ll do my best (disclaimer, im not a professional, etc etc)

one: on whatever paper/document you are using, write some swear words. the worst ones you know, or your favourites. as many times as it takes for you to find it silly & a little fun. check it out! now the page isn’t frighteningly empty anymore & in fact seems to share your annoyance for having been empty

two: plot the scene you want to write. note down what kind of mood it is you want to create & to your collection of swears, add some descriptors. think about the senses - what you see, hear, smell, touch, taste, the temperature, maybe even the altitude. say you want to write about a forest—some descriptors might be old tall trees, smell of crushed leaves, peace. or maybe it’s not that kind of forest or not a peaceful scene at all—dying trees, brittle bark, smell of ash, frightened. in as many descriptors as you like, tell yourself what the environment & mood of the scene is. this doesn’t have to be impressive or life changing stuff, you are building the context & shape of the scene—like building a theatre stage & wheeling in the backdrop & figuring out the brightness of the lights.

next, briefly write what the purpose of the scene is. this could be something like: character A talks to character B about (thing). A wants thing but B won’t give it to them.

once you have that written down, you can start to expand on it. why does A want it? why does A need that thing? why does B refuse to hand it over? block it out—in this scenario, let’s say that the thing is a letter. (immediately i deleted the whole scene i wrote. agonising.)

character A enters the forest. character B is waiting for them. it is a secret meeting - they are both wary. small talk. A asks for the letter. B refuses - counteroffer, more money. A knows the letter is important but doesn’t have more money. A tells them they can get B more money but doesnt have it now. B refuses to give the letter until they are paid. A is desperate - attacks B. they fight. A wins. B is (injured/dead). & this is now a whole new problem for A.

when you have the descriptors & scaffolding for a scene, you will know: the Space it is set in, the Mood you want to create, and the Direction the scene is moving in.

after this, it’s a matter of writing the scene itself & i regret to inform you that there are as many ways of doing this as there are writers in the world. this is why people talk about “finding your voice” because the way you tell the story speaks to what you find to be important: what you find necessary to the scene; whose point of view you want to write from; how granular you get with descriptions of what they’re wearing—very important in, say, a romance or a courtly intrigue.

hopefully, having a scaffold for the scene & knowing where it starts & ends will help. i know it does for me.

three: the most important thing to remember about character imo is that they need to Want something. they’re the drive of the story, whether it’s a novel or a drabble. in this plotted scene, A wants the letter desperately & B wants money but there’s a second level to it as well. A wants the letter because of what it might reveal to them/about them & B wants to feel powerful, using a desperate person for their own ends. when you block out your scene, take a minute to think about what your characters want. Kurt Vonnegut wrote “Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.” think about that. think about how A is so worried about this letter that they haven’t paused to eat or drink. hunger gnawing at their belly. tongue stuck to the roof of their dry mouth, lips cracked.

as always, i suggest reading a story you love and taking the time to analyse scenes to uncover how the author is doing precisely this - how is mood & space being created, how do i know who is speaking & how they say it without character tags (a tag is the she said, she exclaimed, name said, name yelled), how does the scene move to create/release tension

i use prompts as a way of writing short scenes for character. there’s heaps of sites out there that will spit out random prompts for you if you want to practise doing something similar.

hope this helps, hope this is the kind of advice you were looking for. have an awesome day ☀️

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[madelion]

hey, i'm an artist (or so i'm pretending to be) and i absolutely ADORE your art style and the way you draw so beautifully. What are some tips or what is some advice you could give me on anatomy, use of color or digital drawing generally? I've posted my art like once but I was so nervous of what people might think of it I made something super different to my actual style, so if you scroll on my page don't find it because i hate it lmao

Anyway, I would really like to hear what's some advice you have to give!

Hi!!! First of all, thank you so much for your sweet comment it means so much to hear that 🥺

So my bIGGEST TIPS I can possibly give (this is gonna be long I apologize in advance):

1. always always always use references.

I cannot stress this tip enough.

Whether it‘s for a certain pose you want to draw: you can go on Pinterest/google to find poses, clothing ideas, hairstyles, lighting, scenery. use references for EVERYTHING. no matter what people say it is not cheating. Sometimes we luck out and we magically draw the poses straight from our brain, but honestly that’s rare.

And it doesnt all have to be from real life. You can take inspiration from other artist whose styles you look up to/admire. For me that’s viria94(Instagram), aleikats, alexiakhodanian(twitter), spidertams(instagram) and many others! Obviously you don’t want to copy your inspirations, but you can learn so much from just observing their artwork :) Your inspirations will most likely change dramatically overtime because your art style will grow as you continue to improve. These inspirations are going to be a mashup of things you like about each individual style. And eventually, you’ll learn how to incorporate some of those elements into your own art which in turn: helps you find your own voice/style with your artwork.

but also, don’t forget to not copy them exactly lol. It’s one thing to “copy” an art style as a way to personally practice in your own time (which is totally okay to do!) But there is definitely a fine line between practicing/outright copying and claiming it as your own work. I hope that made sense???

2. Redraws

this is something I only just started doing, but it has helped my artwork improve immensely. I redraw scenes from shows and movies that I love (which I will get to this tip in a second). And then because the scene is already set for you, it helps you not only practice anatomy (especially if you’re referencing real people), but also lighting, setting up compositions, and in general practicing this over time will help you refine your art style!

3. Draw from life

Not everyone has a realistic art style, nor do they need to have one. However, it is important to understand the ”rules” before you can break them. And what I mean by that is that by practicing realistic anatomy, you get to understand proportions/how the body works in relation to itself. Because even though everyone is shaped differently from each other, there is still an overall similarity we all have with one another. And honestly all you have to do will go into my next point:

4. watch tutorials

Cannot even tell you how many tutorials I have watched over the years. I will forever be on YouTube trying to learn how to do something. this honestly goes with the references section because it just helps so so so much. Having someone show you exactly what to do is so beneficial because they’ll move you through the exact motions you need to do to get to the end result. I remember when I first started really getting into art, I loved drawing realistic eyes and lips. so I watched tutorials of that all the time and now it’s pretty much second nature to me.

since you asked about the use of color, anatomy, and digital drawing… this is gonna be golden for helping you okay. I might have taken a color theory class a couple quarters ago at school… but trust me I’m still winging the whole color thing. howEVER, tutorials will be your best friend when it comes to these things I pROMISE.

5. TAKE BREAKS

please for the love of all things do not push yourself to be creative when your mind refuses to do so. some of our best work/ideas appear when we’re bored or doing something else entirely.

taking a break means go do something else you enjoy. For me that’s: playing my favorite video game, watching my favorite show/movie, reading a book, talking to my friends or family, baking, writing. just do something else!

the moment you try to force yourself to finish a drawing when you’re really not in the mindset to do so (unless this thing you’re drawing is for school… that’s an entirely different thing trust me lol), you’re just going to lead yourself into an art block. So many artists pressure themselves to draw everyday because yeah it can lead to improvement, but back in my anne with an e days when I felt pressured to put out fan art consistently for the show, it led me to what was probably my longest art block EVER. and it sucks because I ender up losing the inspiration to draw for a show that I loved a lot. So always remember to pace yourself and take care of yourself before anything else <3

6. Draw what you love

so often we feel pressured to draw what others want us to draw. But that shouldn’t matter. yes, it’s good to be aware of the people that may look at your art/follow your art account, but that should never dictate the work that you create.

for some people they love drawing original characters and creating stories, others might only love drawing animals, some people have certain themes in their artwork, and others, like me, purely like drawing fan art.

when you draw something you love, your artwork will always turn out better because that means you’re having fun making it.

and for me personally, I cannot whip out original characters for the life of me unless it’s for a grade LOL. So when it comes to drawing, that’s why I stick to fan art.

NOW I KNOW THIS WAS SUPER SUPER LONG but I really hoped this helped in some sense!!!

But thank you so much for asking, I’m always more than happy to give out some advice/tips :) I’m looking forward to seeing more art from you!

[bylih]

To the boy who fears to be forgotten

First, you are always full of shit. Second, I'm always full of shit. Third, I think we are always full of shit, I mean, I look at us and I'm like damn, "que puta de dois casos perdidos" am I right.

This is about a boy, whose biggest fear it's to be forgotten, and I want to explain why he's so full of shit, what is this full of shit all about and also why I love him.

So, you get first place on the "Full Of Shit List" BECAUSE you always come with your philosofical talks and ideologies and you get me all confused with your extravagant vocabulary and BRO, I ONLY KNOW LIKE 3 WORDS WTF ARE YOU SAYING 90% OF THE TIME

I can't divagar, I wanted to write about what you used to describe me as, your favorite person.

The first time I hear that I went like, this dude gay. and was not wrong. The second time I was like, DAMN THIS DUDE NOT ONLY GAY HE BE SUCKING SOME DICK. was also not wrong. The third time I was like, DAMN U GAY, U SUCK DICK AND I HAVE A DICK.

Nah I'm just jk, I didn't really understood what meaning those 2 words had in your head, but I felt it was something only I could take place, because there's only one person, only one favorite.

And for the ones who don't know this piece of human meat, he's one of these boys who likes to say he´s free, he doesnt like to be attached to things and he fears commitment, so for him to say that he has a favorite person, can be a little tricky.. And as I was wondering what meaning it could have to you, I also ask myself what it would mean to me and I got to the question of when was it that I realized I was in love with you?

I don't know how it happen, I only know it got to one day where I was just living my life like I always do and I wanted you there! And each day that would go by without you, the more I wanted you by my side!!

I would walk by couples holding hands and in my head I could feel your hand wrapped in mine, I would pass by stores and before looking for something for myself I would search nice gifts or random shit for you, because idk why, but I liked to make you little surprises, Everytime I would go out, a little, but most of the time, big part of myself, just wanted to get home and talk with you, because sometimes I wouldn't tell you, or I would try not to show it but there were a lot of bad days I went trough but I didn't mind them, because I had you there with me, and you had me there with you But the most red love flag was really just pass by little famillies with their little kids and imagine us.. That shit is just to serious.

Was I in love?

I loved to hear you, HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT I NEVER GET TIRED OF YOU, I could hear you talk about all types of stuff, for hours and days, weeks, months, not years tho. SIKE! Let the boy talk for years, and I know I'll be the happiest bitch out there. Shit was like I was under a fucking spell..

Was I in love and I didn't knew?

I already told you before and now I'll leave it here, because sometimes you just forget how amazing you are to me, and a long time ago I said that if I ever get to make my art story I will make a character about you, you really don't understand but the way I see you, from my eyes, you would probably be the most loved character by everyone because of the person that you are, that a lot of times people don't notice it, but I did, I do, I see it, fuck. I see it, and I love him. And he's afraid he will be forgotten.. He's afraid that even the ones who don't know who he is will forget about him.. I really don't get why you so scare about that and it may look stupid for a lot of people but it is what it is, he wants to leave a mark in this world, and he already did, people just weren't paying attention, neither was he, so I'll help him with that.

Because I love him..

I really liked to show you that I knew you, that I was always listening to you, even if you think I'm not hearing, or just because I wouldn't express my love to you like you express your love to me, it's there and I hear you, so that when people migh let you down, because sometimes that happens, there's this person, hopefully me, that got you. I got you, it's okay really, I'm here for you, I've always been, even when I didn't love you like I do know, I liked you, I cared for you. Do you remember when we met and you again, you were full of philosophycal shit, I had never met someone with such a strange sense of humor, and you would say things like "Idk angel, I just feel like I know you for so long, like we have been friends for years" YO, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY, I'M SHY AND WE MET EACH OTHER LIKE A WEEK AGO??????????? Even not fully agreeing with you, and still trying to get to know you, you were like.. so different from everyone.

And I love him so much.

I don't know what it was.. But I just trusted you, and even without noticing I would stand by your side, even telling you I don't love you like that, I would end up loving you like that.

Is this what being your favorite person means?

To end my thesis, all this just gets to a point where, you are like "oh shit, I'm in love" because no matter where you are, and how, and this and that there's always this person that comes to your head when you think about the future, and all these fucking problems surrounding you, ain't nothing, this bro just brings me all the peace I need..

I wanted you there... No, I want you here. By my side, by my hand, I want to give and receive all the love.

And the people who know me, know that I ain't the girl who writes this type of stuff, but I needed to let it somewhere, because love can be the worst thing ever, I've been there, I'm kinda there right now, but.. And fuck this "but" because it changes all, because the same love that can be the worst thing can also be the best thing ever. And if there's anyone who's in love for real, if you feel that that person is the one, you fight for that person!! Give them the time and space, think really well about your choices, don't do something now that you will regret in the future, because RIGHT NOW you still have the power to do the right thing. And don't let them go. Show them you care, that you are there, love them at your way but please pay attention to the way they also love. Fuck everything else. And I? I love him, and I want the world to know, I want everyone who's feeling insecure to just say FUCK THIS SHIT and go after your love.

I'm writing this to you especially.. I'm still hoping it's me, your special person, and that no matter how far you go, and no matter who tries to take that place, that they can't. Because it's me who you choose, without choosing, to stay.

P.S.- I'm sorry for the way I've behaved, I've been in a dark place these last months, I feel this is coming to an end and you know what I'm referring to.. But the thing is, sometimes in life everything that we fight for seems to not be enough and we are left down with the bad things, so many bad things, so much fear, so much pain that we can't see the little good ones that are still there at our side. My best pal these last days has been the moon, she looks out for all of us at the same time, I wish she could tell you how much I miss you when you miss me, I wish she could tell you to just call me whenever you feel like it, I wish she could take away the insecurities and the pain we left on eachother and show what really matters, how much we actually do good to one another, how happy we can be... I wish so many things that are not possible. If you ever come to this text it was because you came to this page again. I wanted to tell you that tonight, if you look out to your windows and see the moon, that I'm probably looking at her as well, and I'm asking her to take good care of you, because I probably can't.

And if in some future you ever doubt who this text is for, this person is you João Rodrigo Ferreira de Almeida Ribeiro from Porto, so everyone incluind you can remember the name of the best guitar player, the best son and brother of the family, the best character of my book, my inspiration, my morcão, my best friend, my first love, my yellow art... My favorite person.

[baebeyza]

I've finished watching TFA and I got 5 episodes into TFP, but I'm not so sure if I'm into it. Do you think I should keep watching TFP or try something else, and if so which continuity would you recommend? I was thinking of doing either the G1 cartoon or G1 IDW, but I'm sort of warming up to other stuff like Cyberverse and I could use comments/opinions from someone who's watched more

Oh well dear, depends on what you didn’t like or missed in those first 5 episodes!

For me TFP was my first transformer show and it was good enough for me to go full into the whole franchise and I would recommend it for newcomers.

For newcomers it has a small cast to get invested in, has a good grasp on the general conflict of most transformers shows and a good story to follow. I at least never felt like I needed things explained to me or that it’s something you get more off if you already know the franchise.

But there is always a difference between “this show is objectively good” and “I enjoyed it”. I do think that Prime is pretty well written, not perfect, but still awesome with great moments. Also the animation is EPIC, with some of the best fight scenes I’ve seen in years!

But there are other TF shows I enjoyed more, despite not exactly thinking they are better written. TFA for example! That show I enjoyed more because it was more fun and the characters had better dynamics and development. But the general plot wasn’t as intriguing as TFP in my eyes.

What I personally didn’t like about it (TFP) were:

1. The human characters arent really all that great. They get better and are important, but they can be annoying, especially Miko. (though she develops more than the other two)

2. The heroes lack good character interactions, they mostly feel like people stuck in a group project without much friendship behind

3. There are sub-plots I didn’t care much for (like the human villains)

So I dunno if you should watch the rest - remember that the first 5 episodes were it’s own little plot, and that with episode 6 the real one starts. Maybe that will be more to your liking! 

Personal enjoyment really depends on you and what you like too see though.

I for one like great character interaction, intense moments but also fun. Fun as in funny but also lighthearted, non-serious moments.

TFP does have good character writing and good character interactions with the villains at least. Not as much fun as TFA, but there are still some hilarious moments and characters. And the serious moments are actually really great! This show did have me on the edge on a lot of occasions, there is a lot of good escalations and “oh shit” moments.

But if you like really great character writing with great character interactions and dynamics, watch Beast Wars! It has some of the best character writing I’ve seen and also a really great plot! It takes a while to fully get into the meat and most of season 1 is built-up to that, but once it starts its a truly epic ride!

Beast Wars also has a good balance between fun and serious. If a show is just serious it gets tiring, but if it’s just fun and lighthearted it gets a little boring. Beast Wars has some truly intense moments that make me feel like crying thinking about them, but also a lot of funny scenes, mostly through character interactions, but also slapstick comedy.

The one contra people always bring up is the “bad” animation. And YES it’s bad for todays standards because we are used to seeing better, but just because it’s outdated doesnt mean it’s not good! Like give it a chance people, once you get used to it it’s not as bad. It won an award for outstanding animation back when it aired!

G1 is my favourite show though! Not because it’s actually good, quite the opposite - it’s silly and stupid, it makes no sense and it’s completely shameless in that regard and that way it is just a fun ride!

With no overarching plot each episodes has it’s own plot and drama and while most episodes follow the same format (for season 1&2 at least) it barely gets boring! The creativity of the show writers knows no bounds ~

G1 also made me love a lot of characters! Some I learnt of only from that show and some I already knew but didn’t care for before. (Like Hot Rod for example)

G1 also has great dialogue and interactions as well :D

Headmasters is a japanese show that continues after G1 season 3 (and ignores the american season 4) and personally I really liked it! Unlike G1, Headmasters has a plot and a really good plot that made you come back for more. I still had my issues with it, but those were mostly because of the changes they made from the G1 cartoon. Still recommending it though! Especially if you feel like you need something a little more sophisticated after G1 :D I mean it has death scenes, character depth and development and redemption! (PS: the hong kong english dub of it is shit, but people like it as a “so bad it’s good” kind of comedy. would still watch the japanese version first)

Robots in Disguise 2001 is also a show for newcomers, given that it’s the first one to have it’s own continuity after G1. Though know that this one is more for really young kids. There isnt much escalation or truly serious moments, it’s more fun and lighthearted. So as an adult I found it a little boring, but it’s still good if you like lighthearted stuff! And most of the characters were really cute! It has a lot of brothers too, so as a person with lots of siblings I enjoyed that aspect :D (PS: I watched the original japanese version here)

Beast Wars II (you don’t need to have watched Beast Wars for this) is similiar to RiD01, as in really lighthearted with little escalation and depth. It’s a little jarring though, the heroes are really bland and the plot doesn’t really start until halfway through the show. The first half being about introducing various character groups that end up being important in the end, but most of these episodes aren’t really entertaining, especially when you don’t care about those characters like I did. I’d say the best thing about this show are the decepticons with a really sweet Galvatron as the leader and his idiot little brother Megastorm (who can be read as a version of Megatron) and a Starscream whose a little shit like always but also has a friend he cares about!

If that’s enough for you, go for it xD

Oh and Optimus has a son here - the best and only character arc the heroes have to offer. Found it pretty cute in the end ~

Cyberverse was a “meh” from me though, mostly because it feels like fanfiction. Fanfiction doesn’t need to explain to you who the characters are, it is able to assume that beforehand. And Cyberverse does that, it assumes that you already know the characters and world. And like that it doesn’t really try to write things with depth, it feels all shallow. To me at least, I am aware other people love it.

It just didn’t vibe with me because I want the media I consume to shake me and make me feel things, I wanna be at the edge of my seat, I wanna be anxious about what’s gonna happen next!

That is a thing Prime Wars was able to deliver - the third season, Return of the Primes, at least. 

Though the Prime Wars Trilogy isn’t popular and has many flaws in storytelling, voice acting and animation (+ other things that have to do with expectation, which I don’t really consider flaws of the show itself), but I cannot help it, I still enjoyed it a lot ~ Also the whole thing is pretty short - 28 episodes, 8 of them 5-6 minutes long and the other 10 minutes. It doesn’t take long to finish it all. 

The only shows I truly didn’t enjoy are Robots in Disguise 2015 and Beast Machines - RiD15 is the sequel to TFP and mate if you already don’t vibe with TFP, just skip this one. I didn’t like it much because:

- The decepticons are all badly written, either completely forgettable, not given enough screentime or just kinda having their potential ignored. 

- The heroes never really develop - it’s a show with a lesson in every episode that get’s forgotten in the next. So you have the characters learning the same lessons all the time and I hate shit like that

There are decent episodes sure, and some really sweet characters, but overall it’s just not really good

And the last show I watched is Beast Machines, the sequel to Beast Wars with most of the same cast and some new characters.

And this is a show were I say that it had a good plot with good structure and conflict, but I didn’t enjoy it!

And I do try to divorce it from Beast Wars, but even then the flaws are still there. The biggest complaint I have is that the heroes are never in good terms with each other, almost every episodes has some of them being angry and fighting and that’s TIRING! NO FUN ALLOWED IN THIS SHOW! There is only one character who enjoys being in the show and he dies screaming.

The plot is also really philosophical and not really for kids that way. As an adult I did try to enjoy it, but the show has some flaws in it’s good vs evil conflict.

That would be it with the shows I watched!

As for IDW, I’m not really far with that so I cannot talk much. 

Hope it helped ~ But I would recommend that you give them all a shot, at least for a few episodes. I cannot claim to always be objective, even if I try my best at it

And yeah, my no. recommendation is Beast Wars, it’s really good!

[patchdotexe]

So, I have a character who is a system, and I wanted to know before I develop them further, how does DID work, from a personal account? I really really really don't want to accidentally create yet another TOXIC misinterpretation of a real condition (because I know how horrible that can feel), and I hope I'm not saying anything wrong even now. (P.S. I love your blog, but I'm too shy to come off anon.)

hey anon!! it means a LOT to me that you sent this message :D theres a lot of really messy-bad potrayals of DID in the media so seeing people actually going to the effort of asking systems abt their experiences is really heartwarming for us. (plus the fact that ppl keep asking us in specific abt system stuff omg,,)

im gonna preface this by saying that, in the end, i can only really talk about my own experiences with full confidence. systems can work pretty differently from each other, but this is how we function and also some details ive noticed from system friends + general discussion over the years

so, to start off: Dissociative Identity Disorder is, at its core, your brain trying to respond to trauma in a pretty severe way. that being said there ARE systems that didnt experience severe trauma and still developed, and im not really sure about the mechanics behind that but i find it really cool and it totally exists. im gonna focus on trauma-based systems bc that’s our ~tragic backstory~ and also tends to be what most people opt for when creating system characters anyway, but the only real difference from what i can tell is, uh, a lack of trauma.

I HOPE YOU’RE READY FOR ME TO SAY THE WORD “TRAUMA” A WHOLE LOT JFC

(system friends are welcome to reblog with corrections or added info!!)

anyway. the way your brain responds to things is really weird. if something happens where you’re just, like, completely unable to handle it, like you dissociate yourself so hard because there’s no way you can manage this, your brain has a chance of going “uh… well, fuck, uh” and generating somebody who can manage it. or it might decide to be a dick and take all of the fucky internalized garbage and turn it into a person whose sole existence is to be an asshole. (they have the potential to get better, i think… ours didnt.) honestly theres a bunch of reasons and a bunch of “roles” that could lead to an alter/headmate* forming.

* we use the terms interchangeably depending on mood and whos fronting. i think its supposed to be “alter” is DID, “headmate” is implication that theyre non-traumatic? we like using “headmate” because it brings this fun mental image of us being a bunch of roommates constantly starting shit with each other and goofing off which is pretty accurate about 75% of the time

i keep getting distracted bc my cat is here. this is gonna be fun to go back and edit.

whatever the original situation is, you’re suddenly not alone in your own brain. and it’s REALLY WEIRD. communication was VERY hard. Icarus, our system original, used to do a very “cliche” thing of sharing a journal with their early headmates, where theyd write a sentence and then theyd write a reply (although back then they didnt realize that was a system-related thing and just thought they were having a fun conversation with their ocs. which… they were, just. Actually Talking.) they didnt have any inward perception of themself or their headmates either, so that kinda built up over time (with some help) along with the appearance of our headspace so that there was… actually a location for people to interact in. once they had a better awareness of things, mental communication got a bit easier– its sort of like background chatter really, when everybody’s awake. sometimes i get weird out of context things from Mae yelling at somebody, or sometimes ill be talking to a friend and someone’ll butt in.

when talking out loud, this usually leads to us suddenly stopping and then laughing or going “no!!!”. when on discord and around people who know who we are… well.

speaking of Mae, she’s pretty much my sister. not like… biologically? because i don’t think thats possible for me, but shes kinda literally my “other half” which ill get into later. headmates can have strong attachments to other alters! friends, best friends, family, dating, whatever. they can also do that with people outside the system, and itll be different for each headmate. there’s like 4 people dating Jorb but i just see him as one of my best friends. we’re people and we have complex social interactions that can get to be kind of a nightmare when you’re around a bunch of people who don’t know that you’re Not Leo and that youre suddenly not super up to existing around people in general.

plus even if like… so Jorb’s dating 4 of us like i said, but his relationship w/ each of them is different? Ica is very clingy and likes rambling to him, Summer’s pretty much just always happy to hang out, Mae makes fun of him a lot but in a loving way, and Leo is… kinda “all of the above” because that’s his gimmick. plus even tho a few other alters have a sibling-ish relationship with Mae like i do, usually its just me and Mae that do the “chaos siblings” bit.

the basic system.. thing… is that there’s “front”, which is being in control of the body– so, like, i’m currently fronting/in front, because im the one currently active and using our computer and staring at our cat.– and then theres the headspace, where everybody hangs out when theyre not in front. the headspace itself can differ in style & functionality for each system, and i think theres some systems that dont really have a location at all? but for us its like a full on location where we have individual rooms, places to visit if we get bored while away from front, etc.

theres also like, being at/near/away from front? so currently im in front, but Leo is pretty much always lurking nearby if he’s awake (we have individual sleep schedules that dont always sync up to the “irl” one, Trust is almost always sleeping), Ica’s somewhat in the back talking to Rookie so i cant really make out what theyre saying (its probably about either a youtube thing they both like or about a comic they want to do), and everyone else is either asleep (in which case they could be nearby but i cant currently “ping” them, so id have to actually take a sec to ground myself in headspace more) or in a different room. communication is easier if im in front and somebody is nearby, or it can be like with Ica rn where im like “well, theyre talking, but i have no idea what theyre saying and am making a guess based off their usual interactions”, or i could pass off front to go talk to Ica and come back (in which case my memory would be kind of vague and weird because information doesnt always properly translate), oooor i could actually go bug them while still in front. which.. im not gonna do rn bc then id get super distracted.

switching front differs between systems a lot! and even varies from day to day. like there are days where we wake up and we have absolutely no idea who we are bc we went to bed as one person and woke up as another. or we could be talking to somebody and then realize “wait, i stopped being Leo a bit ago, who am i”. or we could pass off front to somebody, like if Summer really wanted to front sie’d run up to me and let me know and we’d swap. or if something critical happens (usually a breakdown), Leo or one of the other headmates that’re more built to handle stressful situations will literally drag somebody out of front to make sure they dont hurt themself. or sometimes we throw front at people unexpectedly, like either mid-breakdown where we go “okay i dont wanna be here anymore, tag youre it” or sometimes because we think its funny because its the metaphysical equivalent of getting clonked in the head with a dodgeball, except the dodgeball is “being in control of our shared physical form”. usually mae’s the one that does that lmao

there’s a couple major categories of how alters come about. there’s “walk-ins”, where they kinda just… appear externally? like they just show up. sometimes we get a feeling of “huh. i think somebody might be here? or somebody might be showing up soon.” and have to rummage around for a while until they approach us or we find them. our walk-ins aren’t like, inherently aware of system stuff at first, so they usually get a crash course before they first front (if they choose to front at all) and it can be kinda entertaining. Rookie’s a walk-in! also Hiro, from a couple years ago. most of our walk-ins are fictives (fictional characters, usually appearing in response to us getting extremely attached to something or somebody) but a couple of our trauma splits are also fictives so that’s not like, a Rule or anything. i think these are mostly associated with non-traumatic systems but we get em fairly often so man idk

theres also… uh, i dunno what theyre actually called? we used to call them “constructs” but that sounds kind of mean. these alters exist to fill a specific role! and we usually dont talk about them on here with the exception of one major one, they just kinda hang out. Dhe exists to keep the system stable and manages the “backend” so to speak. Imp is kind of a mix of our intrusive & impulsive thoughts that came about from us trying to separate ourself from them so that we had an imaginary entity to go “nope!” at, which… stopped being imaginary, and is now a gremlin that lives in my brain. they can show up in response to trauma but arent split off of somebody, they kinda just pop into existence to help manage things.

the more… well-known, i guess? alter origin is “trauma splits”. rather than “just showing up one day with no real connection to the system origins”, trauma splits are formed when somebody in-system, uh, splits. it could be in response to a single situation or something built up over a long time, but somebody just kinda breaks and somebody new that has a bit of the original alter’s identity (if kinda influenced by the situation) shows up.

this can vary. All is a trauma split off of Leo himself, who got saddled with all of our brain hell about our ex and their insystem appearance is influenced more by eir than by leo which is… something they struggle with. Mae has a trauma split from a similar situation that is “Mae but from 2 years ago”, so basically her old identity before she reworked herself after getting put through total hell. and then uh… then there’s me and Mae! Icarus quite literally exploded into several people, with Pat (me) and Mae being the most distinct ones. we’re STILL finding out alters used to originally be a part of them that later evolved into their own people, like Summer and Toby. my identity is shaped pretty heavily not just by who Ica was at time of splitting, but also what they wanted to be jumbled together with trying to rationalize what was happening to them (they’re a pretty big fan of megaman star force, which has a media-typical system in it, so they leaned into hard “its like pat and rey from mmsf! i like pat, i wouldnt mind being like pat, its scary but im like one of my current favourite characters” and so i ended up being like, half-weird shapeshifter, half-green-haired prettyboy. and yeah thats where my name comes from!)

(Ica got put back together w/o anybody needing to integrate, which we were all very scared about, and it’s still kind of surreal to me because… me and Mae used to be able to stick ourself back together and thats how we found out about what happened to Ica in the first place? and we havent tried that since bc we have no idea what would happen. Ica 2: Ica Harder?)

despite their origins, trauma splits can be way more than… being a split. :V;; Toby’s not just a tiny splinter of Ica, he’s a quiet guy that gets stressed out and isn’t totally sure how to interact with people. i’ve existed for like 7 years at minimum and im a totally different person than i was when i thought i was still Ica, ‘cause ive had time to grow and change (and a problem Ica keeps running into now that theyre back is… they kinda Didn’t change because they were MIA for 6 years.) like everything else though this is variable– there can be “temporary” splits that dont develop properly and might get integrated back in, which has only happened to us when we were at the lowest point in our life where we were stuck constantly splitting to try and cope with whatever the hell was going on.

so Ica was gone for 6 years, which meant our system was without an original or main– there wasn’t anybody to be head of the system, basically. for a while i was operating under the assumption that i was Ica, so i filled in that role for a few years before i made the realization. eventually i kinda… stopped being able to, though, bc of stability issues, and then we were back to not really having a proper main anymore. to make up for it, we started going by Leo collectively and kinda… trying to pretend to be a single person? and so that ended up creating a construct to fill the role of “system main and the person we pretend to be when passing as singlet/not a system”: Leo himself! he’s kinda the most prominent traits we all have in common rolled into a single guy, which means that not only is he a pretty good system representative but we can also pretend to be him pretty easily (unless it’s someone like Toby who acts totally different). i dont know how common this situation is, i think normally it’s just “if system original is gone, another alter steps up” like originally happened to us before i had a severe case of problems disorder.

uhhh this is very rambley bc there’s a Lot to cover and now im trying to figure out how much of it i HAVE covered. systems are complicated and weird! OH WAIT okay i have one last bit.

so like, for us, first realizing we were a system was total hell. we fought a lot. as more alters showed up through various means, there were times where Ica felt like they were completely out of control of their own life bc of having to manage everything. there were a lot of panic attacks of people fronting and not being sure they were even REAL, despite… being in front. but we still felt like we were deluding ourself. this was in, like, late 2011, so systems weren’t a THING. they were a very fringe community that everyone hated. we got constantly harassed, which only fed into Ica’s panic hell and our identity issues. interpersonal relationships became a nightmare, especially because we have BPD as well which varies in severity for each of us but… for me it’s pretty bad! there were times early on where every day was another fun new breakdown from us arguing with each other or our friends or not being understood or… etc.

so… how are we holding up ~7 and a half years later? pretty well, actually! we talk to each other. we do things for each other, like buy food or games we know specific headmates like. Ica is back and way happier than they were in 2011, and is thrilled to get to hang out with everybody that’s showed up since. we help each other through problems, because at the end of the day our system ended up being a support network. Ica couldnt function on their own, so we’re like… 10+ people working together to try and be a single functional person. and we feel pretty okay with that! we still fight, and we still start shit, but we’re not in constant crisis anymore. we’re still working through all of our trauma, especially the more “recent” stuff that kinda broke our system for a while until we were able to start rebuilding, but we’re doing it together. :D

so… yeah, it can start out as a stereotypical “nightmare system”, with constant infighting and toxicity and self-sabotage and etc. but we worked through it! it took a while, but we’re overall more stable than we were before. we got out of the bad environment that was fucking us up, we got mental help for our other brain hell (we havent been able to bring up the system to our therapists bc its literally a non-issue now and we focus more on other things like our depression, anxiety, PTSD, etc), we found people that support us for being us, and we were able to like… figure things out. and it was a mess! i still have issues about my own identity because of literally thinking i was someone else for two years. Ica’s still trying to figure out how to adjust to things, especially bc they missed our entire “cringe culture” phase so they came back to find that i’d dismantled a lot of their middle-school settings. and, uh, some of their friendships as well.

systems are fuckin weird

[terminallydepraved]

Hi! I want to ask for your opinion on something that happened to me. I'm uploading a HxH fanfic I'm writing. The ship is not relevant right now but someone commented on it saying they liked my way to portray the characters, BUT right after that they said they were glad that a /certain/ character wasn't involved in the fic as in "im glad its this ship and not that ship" and they said "they couldn't stomach it", I thought it was pretty uncalled for, what is your opinion on their attitude?

sounds like a case of unnecessary opinions on your fic. ive had people leave passive aggressive sorts of things like that before, and honestly how i respond to it depends on how im feeling in the moment im reading it. if i get it first thing in the morning, im more likely to brush it off and ignore it when i reply. if i read it after a long day at work and before ive eaten, im a lot more likely to call it out or flat out ignore the comment altogether and just not reply.

i dislike comments like that. thats my opinion on that attitude. a lot of people dont know proper comment etiquette and think its okay to pair a compliment with something negative (even if that negative thing isnt entirely directed at the fic), and what it comes down to is simple entitlement on the part of the commenter. them saying how theyre happy its this and not that just says that your choice of characters/pairings was the only thing keeping them from not liking the fic. that they feel its proper you wrote what you did instead of writing something else that might have made you happy writing.

its unnecessary. it doesnt need to be said. you wrote that fic how you wanted to write it. what you decided to include or exclude is no business of theirs, and them /making/ it their business isnt appreciated. i doubt they meant for it to be read like that, but thats how it comes off to a writer.

if you want my advice on how to proceed or respond, all i can tell you is to do what feels right to you. if you can easily brush it off and ignore it, then do that. if you want to delete the comment, go for it. if you want to calmly explain that you appreciate their praise but dislike the unnecessary addition to the comment, feel free to do that as well. all i can recommend is to sleep on it first. the majority of rude things ive been sent pissed me off less once i let a day pass before reading it again.

at the end of the day theyre just some stranger on the internet whose opinion really doesnt matter in the slightest. we’re all here to have fun and share our hard work with each other. focus on the people who dont take your work for granted and ignore the ones who do. its the best way to keep happy doing what youre doing. i hope this helps.