#and it would be fun to try to get her characterization closer to the initial idea post that sparked her

[bookshelf-in-progress]

I'm fully in Inklings Challenge idea-gathering mode and I'd forgotten how great it is. I just get to go through my day gathering potential story sparks. Anything could become a story. I don't need to stress over choosing one or committing to one because I don't know which genre I'm writing yet. I can build a basic concept, and then if it turns out it captures my attention come October, I've got a well of ideas I can draw from and add onto it. I'm just finding Legos to put in my toybox. It's so fun.

[sieglinde-freud]

grabs ur hands dm ur reasoning rn *looks at you with my big eyes*

YOU GUYS ARE PEER PRESSURING ME WTF... but ok im just gonna post it here then hi tc thank u for the ask :) going under the read more because my initial ramblings were literally 3k but let me see if i can chop it down. cw: LONG. also pic for reference so we know what im talking about

so the placements all assume the only headcanon thats real going into this is that the morgans are siblings. no canon second parents which means no chrom!inigo or anything like that they all have single moms or whatever idk not important but just clarifying none of that is impacting their placements because i dont want to think about that

black eagle placements were the most fun because the fun thing about that route is that it splits into two more! one thing thats always bothered me is that when that route splits, the only thing that changes is that you either lose edelgard or hubert or you lose flayn. are you really telling me those are the only three students with enough free will to not let byleth pick the rest of their life for them? ferdinand would NOT go to the church i dont care!!! this is something they fixed (kind of) in warriors but in general when picking the black eagles i wanted to keep that in mind too

so kjelle was the first character i looked at and went “i know where you go.” i think she looks at edelgard and goes “you are everything i want to be and more” because what edelgard fights for and how she accomplishes it. kjelle is a very “the strong must protect the weak by any means necessary” which is kind of harsh when its presented to the player in awakening but it is literally edelgard’s whole philosophy. and kjelle is very egotistical (not hate i love her ass so much underrated fav!!) she thinks incredibly highly of herself so for her to bow down to anyone they would have to 1) echo her ideals and 2) be stronger than her. sorry shes never bending the knee to dimitri and claude i dont give a fuck she doesnt like those men. i think she’d understand edelgard’s idea of putting power in human hands and fully commit to the ends justify the means. this isnt really a gameplay rewrite thing im trying to do but if byleth picked the church she would leave. also… please. please please consider edelkjelle… okay guys… for me……..

on the opposite side nah was my second immediate “ohh i know what im doing with you” and its because if byleth picks edelgard, shes out!! granted, i could just put her with lions or deer but how is that fun. its not. nah, being a manakete, would probably be much more understanding of rhea and willing to reach out. being a manakete is probably a pretty isolating experience for her, ylisse or fodlan or otherwise, so i think her finding solace with rhea and flayn and seteth during her time at the academy would allow her to get closer to people more like her, and understand on some level why rhea is the way she is and why governs the way she does. though, still being housemates, she’d befriend edelgard and i think she’d admire edelgard’s conviction and maturity during the academy arc. but when edelgard betrays the church i think she’d take that very hard, and i dont think anything edelgard would say to her would get her to turn on what is basically the family she never got to have (theres also second gen angst potential in here somewhere…)

inigo was interesting to think about and i did almost saddle him in with golden deer but i like the potential of him with edelgard a lot more when i really sat down and thought about it. im pulling more from his characterization as laslow i think but at first i wasn’t really sure if i had a case for him picking between the empire and the church but i decided to go with the empire because i do think in the time he has with edelgard, he’d be a voice of reason for her (to hubert’s dismay). edelgard’s problem is that she has literally no outsider pov and is going based on her own sense of justice that, while its based in good intentions, has a lot of unintended consequences and failure to acknowledge how it impacts everyone else. i think inigo could take a unique role, similar to ferdinand (or lorenz to claude, felix to dimitri) in that he challenges edelgard but on a much more friendlier level. the thing about how that role normally plays out is that its formed on some personal grievance rather than genuine better interest of the people, and i think of all the lords, edelgard needs a friend the most (its why shes so attached to byleth???). and just looking at how hes able to handle xander in fates and how much more introspective he becomes, i think it’d play out similarly here. also i think with the forces of him and dorothea combined they would give ferdinand the worst bisexual panic of his life. ik i mentioned felix/inigo WHICH I STILL LIKE but imagine the layer of angst if they are on opposing sides… ok thanks

was on the fence about gerome until beloved mutual (hi woocy :3) convinced me he would be beagle and im completely down with that. for me, i struck out blue lions immediately. so after that its just a matter of do i think he fits in better with BE or GD and quite honestly. for some reason golden deer gets the rep of being the meme house but aside from lorenz looking a little funny anf claude putting up a facade YOU ALL FELL FOR this straight up is not true. the funny house is black eagles and by GOD it would piss gerome off to be there. i dont think they chose their houses, by the way. i think they got to fodlan and rhea vibe checked all of them immediately so he didnt have a say in this. not only is he stuck with inigo, hes stuck with watching kjelle—the strongest warrior ever probably the only one in the second to match him in terms of raw strength—stumble over herself over their house leader because wwaauuw women pretty LIKE COME ONNNN. though, i do think he’d respect edelgard for her strength, and theres a lot of interesting dynamics for him to explore. dorothea pissing him off, bonding with petra over their enjoyment for wildlife, he would definitely be training partners with caspar, and i think he’d actually be like. really good at talking to bernadetta? maybe seeing her reminds him of how he was when he was younger. maybe he gets her out by introducing her to minerva. much to think about. but in general he would keep mostly to himself with standard gerome “cant get close to people that i cant guarantee will stay with me” fashion i think he probably wouldnt be as close as say someone like inigo or nah would be with the house. so when the time to choose a side comes… i dont think he’d have the relationship with edelgard to pick her. i think he would oppose her ideals, and go with nah, if not flee fodlan entirely because omfg who careeesss…. WHO CAREEESS his ass is in wyvern valley (no i think he’d fight. but he’d def consider dipping)

m!morgan is here because i think it would challenge him. guy who is so cute so earnest so ready to be happy in school learning everything hes ever wanted hoping to come home and make momma proud and oh my god he got put in the most crazy house imaginable. whoever his professor is is probably like wow morgan you have a gift for tactics! why dont you try managing the class for a mission? and being morgan he’d go YES ABSOLUTELY!!! unfortunately this house has hubert. and ferdinand. and bernadetta. and linhardt. and caspar. the thing about robin and the shepherds is that most people immediately respected robin as their tactician and robin was able to connect and befriend most of them fairly easily because they were mostly all sane and normal people. the black eagles are most definitely not and have you guys seen that black eagles seating chart post? well. i just think it’d give morgan a hard time and between him and f!morgan its funnier if its him. also splitting him from the justice cabal for timeskip angst sorry. also i think it’d be cool if he took edelgards side. i dont actually know which way he’d lean thats a tossup like this is a character that i could believe would trust byleth’s judgement and go with them but if its edelgard i think that could set up fun conflict between him and nah. grima vs naga part 2!! though i actually did have him for blue lions first if only because of the three houses the blue lions probably need a tactician type the best but. i like this one better.

so for blue lions i immediately clocked owain like look at this guy. i think owain would see the house of cool knightly chivalrous types fighting for justice and being cool and having swords and i just think he’d be in heaven. i also think, to him, dimitri would be a figure to look up to similar to lucina, but with the difference that they are not family and owain might put him on an even higher pedestal because theres this sense of familiarity he had with lucina thats not really there anymore? kind of similar to ashe and dimitri. and when the timeskip comes, i think he’d be endlessly devoted to dimitri even still, never forgetting who he was before and striving to bring him back, still thinking of this idolized version of him, even if it puts himself at risk. i also think in general, owain would thrive in the blue lions house. felix, ashe, ingrid, dedue, annette— those are all prime support partners for him that have a lot of potential. the blue lion house is very… the way that they are. and something owain shows in fates is that though hes very good at using his theatrics to ease people, whether that be on purpose or otherwise, and by god do the blue lions need it. look at them… jesus.

cynthia is in the blue lion house for similar reasons but i think she has a key difference from owain. while i think owain is the type to go down with the ship, i think cynthia might actually serve as an opposition to dimitri and potentially go against him in a similar fashion to felix and annette in thats hidden in the games files and was never put in the game (WHEN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN. dimitri doesnt get enough push back in azure moon!! another post for another time though). in their time at the academy, while owain is fangirling over dimitri, i think cynthia would too at first. but fodlan is very different than ylisse, and in particular faerghus treats its knights and specifically women knights very differently than cynthia wouldve otherwise been treated. i think this would push cynthia into questioning faerghus’s ideals (especially in getting close to ingrid who im sure she’d find friendship in) and eventually dimitri in how he seemingly upholds those ideals. when he goes down a darker path in the timeskip, she’d probably take felix’s more critical approach, and i think she could turn on him. for the empire? probably not. but i dont think she’d be as down as owain or ingrid to keep following him when hes not taking accountability for what hes doing. she might find her way back once hes come back to himself but who really knows. not me (<- girl who is writing all of this)

yarnes a funny pick because lions are supposed to be brave and fearless and hes a Rabbit. but obviously yarne would be very aware of that irony and i think it could serve as a push for him to come into that bravery, and thats something i think the lion house could help him do. i think he’d look to dimitri for solace similar to how he does with lucina, and dimitri would be very happy to provide that for him. when the timeskip comes and dimitri is lost, i think yarne would have to find it in himself to abandon that anxiety for a bit to come help ease dimitri, sort of repaying him for his initial kindness (read: i want eyepatch scary dimitri to find stress relief in petting a big ass bunny). also i dont need yarne to be in the same house as petra and marianne for him to interact with them. dont worry thats a thing. also if youre a real one you recruit marianne to blue lions everytime. no i dont know how they’d handle bringing a taguel to fodlan i dont really care either

for severa i think, even if she would rather not admit it, justice and loyalty are very key parts of her character. its buried underneath her mean girl attitude and like five pounds of trauma but its there. and what are the blue lions if not loyal knights with very LOUD auras of sadness? she would be similar to felix in terms of their views on knighthood, and obviously her whole thing with cordelia would put her at odds with the whole dying for your king/for glory thing faerghus has going on. similar to cynthia she’d be very critical of faerghus and dimitri except she’d be that way to his face. she doesnt have the same personal beef with him the same way felix would, and might be a little more like how i imagined inigo would be to edelgard, criticism with the better interest of the greater good rather than formed of personal beef. in the end though, i think she would stick with dimitri. also i think she’d have insane sexual tension with ingrid like i dont think theyd like eachother but like. my vision… do you see it.

bradys in lions partially due to mutual influence (hi zorua) but also because i ended up liking his potential with the lions as opposed to the deer or eagles. he’d have a very cute friendship with mercedes and annette i think, playing violin for them and having tea party gossip sessions. i think he and dedue could bond over being kinda scary but doing what they can to ease people’s fear of them. since thats an insecurity for both of them that brady purposefully takes steps to get rid of (ex: him hunching over is so that he can be eye level with children and people shorter with them so as not to come off as intimidating or more powerful) i think brady could help with that. though if im being so real i dont think he would like dimitri. i think he would stay and stick around and help dimitri get better. but i dont think he’d approve of his bloodlust and be very open with his issues in regards to how dimitri handles and carries himself. sorry guys im not meaning to have dimitri catch so many strays here 😭 i love the guy i just also like when theres conflict here i promise

laurent is in the golden deer because i think he and claude would be very like minded people in terms of trying to discover the secrets behind fodlan and what that means and how to better navigate fodlan as uncharted territory. theyre both foreigners, as are all of the second gen kids, but thats something claude keeps under wraps that i think laurent would be able to tell very quickly (not that it was hard. claude doesnt hide it well its just that everyone in fodlan is either stupid or all the smart people are kept away from him) that claude is from almyra. i think this knowledge could help him serve as something of a confidant to claude. obviously he wouldnt tell laurent everything but when claudes supposed closest allies are lorenz (guy who hates him and prays for his downfall) and hilda (girl who is racist and from a racist family) its just like. well maybe claude should have another friend who is normal adjacent at least, and laurents not the type to go blabbing anyways. obviously both lorenz and hilda (eh. well.) get better about their mindsets post timeskip but i think in the time of the academy laurent would be a very valuable friend for claude and vice versa. in general laurent would do well anywhere because i think most of his interest would be with the technological and scientific advancements of fodlan which is flexible, but i think, with rhea purposefully halting progress and claude being the main guy who wants truth above all else, this is the best spot for him. could hear an argument for him going to edelgard (potential recruit out of house recruit fs) but i do like him with claude a bit more. gerolau angst also.

lucina is in golden deer because i dont want her in the other two houses but also because i do think, similar to laurent, she’d be very valuable to claude and vice versa. awakening world building is horseshit but from what little we do know there is quite a bit of political discourse that lucina probably knows quite a bit about. even if her timeline was thrown into war when she was young, she probably had some form of royal training and can help claude navigate fodlan a little bit. i also think coming to fodlan would just be a very refreshing experience for lucina as the burden of everything is no longer directly on her shoulders, and i think she’d be looking for a broader perspective on life and finding another purpose for herself now that grima is dealt with. i think claude would be able to help her with that and i think she’d be genuinely interested to learn of his homeland once she figures out where hes from (i do think laurent beats her to the conclusion but not by a lot. remember this is lucina aka marth aka woman her disguised her own royal status and was very successful at it. just saying). also while i did say that golden deer is in fact not the meme house, i think they are more light hearted overall in terms of character (does NOT mean meme house or funny house. look me right in my eyes and say the house WITHOUT hubert and linhardt is the meme house. fucking liar) and i think lucina would love that. i want her to get the chance to be silly and childish for a little bit. characters like raphael and marianne and lysithea might help her heal that inner child that she never really got to let out and i just think the golden deer house would be the best place for her

morgan is here because i didnt want her and marc in the same house thats too easy. but while i think claude is the least in need of a tactician type character, him and morgan would be sooooo funny so cute and i need someone who can keep him on his toes. i think he blurts out a plan and morgan goes “ermmm ackchully” and half of the time her rebuttals are complete nonsense she just wants to argue. i think they both enjoy it. i also think, similar to lucina, a light hearted house would be a little better for her. shes much more prone to mischief than m!morgan is i think and i think the deer would benefit from that if only so she can target lorenz and make me laugh. i also think separating the twins would make for fantastic angst down in the timeskip but for now shes just hanging out having fun being a piece of shit. #girl also i think its funnier if one morgan is absolutely thriving and the other is barely keeping his shit together and by god it is way funnier if its f!morgan getting away with everything

noire is here because. i. could not think of a reason for her to go anywhere else! i thought about putting her in beagles but i dont think making that choice between the church and edelgard would be as interesting for her? and i dont think putting her in lions would do anything for her. i think the best lord and the best house at helping her through her issues and being understanding of her mood changes is probably claude and the deer. i could see hilda and leonie reaching out to her, or ignatz and her getting on pretty well, but im not quite sure on the specifics of that. my least thought out placement but also it doesnt matter because it keeps the placements balanced to put her here. i’ll have to give this one more thought…

anyways if you can believe it this is the cutdown version. i know right. i hope i didnt forget anyone that would be really embarrassing

[fuckyeahcharmcaster]

This post by the late Derrick J. Wyatt really does encapsulate the problem that arose with Charmcaster (as well as many other things) in the transition between Ultimate Alien and Omniverse. Wyatt was a major fan of the Original Series, and as such he preferred Charmcaster as a villain like she was there (I can empathize, since OG!Charm is the best). The problem was that Ultimate Alien had moved far away from her OG characterization and had positioned her as a magical dimension ruler who was set to undergo a redemption arc. Her penultimate appearance had her beloved dead father tell her straight to her face that he did not approve of her being a villain and doing evil things, and her last appearance had her trying to do right by Ledgerdomain to atone for her temporary genocide of its inhabitants with her only being an antagonist because Darkstar manipulated her (all too easily since she was written as stupid, but I digress). Her real name was revealed to be “Hope”. In no way does a story going this way progress with Charmcaster being a villain again. If you are being an honest storyteller and following where the characters are going, she would be redeemed.

But Wyatt wanted what he wanted, narrative consistency be damned. Which is why “The Enemy of My Frenemy” got retconned out of Omniverse (no mention of the temporary genocide including Ben, Gwen and Kevin’s deaths, no mention of Spellbinder temporarily getting resurrected, no mention of “Hope”, Hex now doesn’t know that Charmcaster had gone to Ledgerdomain or thought her to be dead, and Adwatia was turned into a stone totem rather than perma-killed before his soul was extracted for the resurrection ritual), and the highly improbable turn of Charmcaster using the Alpha Rune at the advice of her father’s killer which drove her crazy happened. With no firm set-up to make her want to redeem herself and a plot device to explain why she would antagonize the heroes despite the fact that she should be above that due to ruling a magical dimension now, she could go back to being a villain who does villain things (even if the episode writers undermined this by giving her no real villainous objectives outside of antagonizing the heroes at Adwatia's encouragement, but I digress).

Now, I make no secret of the fact that between UAF!Charmcaster and OV!Charmcaster, I much prefer OV!Charmcaster, as she is a far more enjoyable character to watch and closer to the spirit of the OS version even if still falling short. The problem is that you're still supposed to accept her as the same character as UAF!Charmcaster - even if "The Enemy of My Frenemy" isn't canon anymore in Omniverse, her being the daughter of Spellbinder from Ledgerdomain who as a young child had to watch her father die as he sacrificed himself so that she and Hex could escape the genocide of their people and wanted to free the other beings of her realm from enslavement only to fall prey to the exact same madness as the tyrant she dethroned IS. OG!Charmcaster was a victim of Hex's abuse (a fact Omniverse totally whitewashes in order to redeem Hex, but I digress), which made her sympathetic but not to the point where it prevented enjoyment of her villainy, which even if initially forced into she had clearly come to relish. Seeing her do evil things to satiate her ego and then get frustrated when impeded by the heroes was fun. It's only fun in Omniverse if you forget about all that context that I mentioned before, and unfortunately Omniverse feels obligated to remind you frequently. The end result is that we get a tragic villain being played for comedy.

"I'm so lost and lonely..."

Next major appearance:

"I <3 you, magic bag! LOL!"

They don't quite fit together, do they?

But as a final disclaimer, even if this and a lot of other stuff Wyatt did on Omniverse was wrong, I don't think anyone can argue that he had an effective justification for it: he was simply doing to UAF what it did to the Original Series. Charmcaster suddenly having blue eyes, pointy ears and a different facial structure, suddenly working with Hex again, and both of them suddenly wearing what Spellbinder's appearance confirms are Ledgerdomain-based outfits all the time doesn't gel with how she was before, as does having that traumatic a backstory and especially having bringing her father back as her goal in life. Wyatt's whole attitude about Omniverse's changes and retcons was "if they could do it, why can't we?" (Maybe NEITHER series should have applied so many changes and retcons...but I digress.)

[spidermanifested]

tell me ur hcs for ur favorite fma girl. if uve already answered for that go to underrated fma girl instead, i dont know many of their names but i like hearing u talk abt them

best ask i could have hoped for because i already did mei and martel so now i get to do the character nobody knows or cares about except me RUBY!!!!!

(ruby is from the light novel "the valley of white petals" which i posted a couple things about when i read it. its plot is about how meritocracies suck and are inherently ableist. ruby is a teenage orphan whos initially taken in by the promise of earning her place in a Fair System and then has to learn the hard way that she was incorrect)

sexuality headcanon: like many others i think she is bi but hasnt realized thats an option because Society. alternately she could be a lesbian and doing comphet with al because if raygen wants her to marry a guy so bad al is literally a suit of armor, he could be anybody in there

gender headcanon: itd be fun if she turned out to be nonbinary, i think that could lend an extra level of significance to learning to carve her own path in life outside of what raygen wanted her to be. but being a cis girl still works too

a ship i have with said character: listen to me. i think that her and paninya would be so good. one of them is goofy and fun loving but trying so hard to be responsible and the other one is a total stick in the mud trying to learn how to relax and theyre both like 16 and orphans and theyd initially rub eqch other the wrong way and then realize how much they have in common and get closer and start blushing super awkwardly around each other until garfiel cant take it anymore and goes oh good grief would you girls just kiss already. Do you understand my vision.

a brotp i have with said character: its sweet how leaf never gave up on trying to make her understand how he couldnt fit into the system. He maybe should have given up sooner but he didnt and i think ruby knows and appreciates this at the end. theyre such well characterized siblingfriends

a notp i have with said character: i dont think id want to see her shipped with leaf just given how much she treats him like her snotty little brother lol

a random headcanon: i think eventually she would become the de facto leader of wisteria. she has so much drive and passion that i cant see people Not turning to her as a pillar of the community. who knows how long itd last even after the regime change, its still a tiny little commune in the middle of a wasteland, but i think if anyone can turn that energy outward and manifest the specter of communism over amestris its her

general opinion over said character: i thougjt when i got really attached to bido i couldnt really get any more niche and obscure than that as far as fma favorites went. Well

[zeonove]

PAIRING: hyejoo x jinsoul x fem! reader ; words: 720

CATEGORIES: loona, hyejoo, jinsoul, smut, trio¿

A/N: IT'S MY FIRST TIME, I'm sorry if the narration is horrible or other things that are not coherent or I don't know, ugly.

A/N 2: hyejoo blode and jinsoul with blue hair

— y/n unnie! thuth or dare? — began a game for the least of all, hyejoo. the three of them were sitting on the floor in a circle doing nothing fun, the trio playing "boring" childish hand games.

"umm... dare." - you answered confidently. you knew in advance that she would do something racy, that characterizes her, being a sassy.

- well... give me a kiss with tongue for more than ten seconds...? I don't know. — this type of questions in a joke tone is common and it is because the great trust that exists between you gives rise to that they do it between you.

— no problem for me on that, but I need jinsoul to count the seconds. — the named just nodded her head, that was enough. you approached the one who suggested the challenge and without giving the matter much thought, you kissed her.

it is an extremely good kiss, her lips collided so well between yours. you loved to feel the softness of them. even when sometimes when you kiss her, her red lipstick is impregnated.

- hey, time is up! I hope I am be the next one or they can forget about me.— the girl with blue hair joked with a laugh. jinsoul's voice made them separate from the kiss.

"you're fucking jealous, jindori." - you smiled and instantly understood what wanted so you approached her, ignoring the rules of the initial game. jinsoul was not going to resist, in fact she take you for the neck to get closer to her body.

jinsoul's lips had an exquisite taste, like alcohol with some fruit. inexplicable, but delicious. I really wanted you to kiss her, she kissed you with such enthusiasm that you couldn't control her and of course, she wasn't going to miss the opportunity to try to touch any part of your body.

you weren't going to stop her, it doesn't bother you that she's so horny. actually doing it with her is amazing, she's so good and hot.

but, what about hyejoo? your intention is not to leave her aside. she looked at them attentively, although she had her eyes direct to you, guessing your every move, you decided to look at hyejoo, maintaining eye contact. she smiled at you, her gaze emanating intense lust. you weren't going to last long without touching or feeling her, they both knew it well.

you don't know how, but you had jinsoul on top of you, she is very cunning and mischievous. however, the blonde should not be left out of this frenzy of crazy hormones. both looked at the minor as if it were a kind of invitation for her to join the journey. she understood and approached both of them.

the blue-haired girl smiled coquettishly at the youngest, she got off your lap and climbed on top of hyejoo, you don't know if she was conscious or not, but hyejoo lay down on the floor.

—um, hyejoo... you have beautiful boobs.— she brought her hands to the younger girl's tits, massaged them to her liking and then started rubbing her nipples on her sweater since she didn't even mind wearing a bra. hyejoo wasn't afraid to keep her from panting.

you approached both, placed closer to the body of the youngest of her. not to be left behind, you began to undo the buttons of the shirt that jinsoul was wearing, you left a long line of kisses from her jaw to her neck. all this while she kept playing with the blonde and her nipples.

you unzipped her pants, her panties were already fucking wet. you put a hand inside and reached her clit, rubbed it with two fingers and she moaned, arched her back and her head went to the ceiling with her eyes closed.

you looked at hyejoo, her boobs were so tempting. your desire to suck one or both was inevitable, you bit your lip and without waiting much longer, you brought your mouth closer to one of her breasts without stopping fucking jinsoul rubbing her clitoris faster now.

they both moaned at the same time. you love having them at your mercy, you liked that they always want to have sex with you and no one else. without a doubt, this afternoon went from being boring to something better than expected

[calico-strawberry]

So I do wanna do some clarification (and unload some of my brain rot) about Aevia and how I characterize her.

Like if it wasn't obvious I've been treating her as a pseudo-OC. Still rather adherent for the most part to the plot, and still heavily influenced by plot points and same background as established by the story. Main difference being how I actually view Aevia's personality and how I'd think her reactions and the like to certain events would be.

Long Post btw if you don't have the long post thing shortened

Spoilers ahead for several late game events up to Chapter 15 of V13 (specifying in case anything major changes in a future version)

So first off, Personality and I how I personally characterize Aevia, along with her Pokemon.

-Specializes in both Poison and Fairy types. Notable exception in her Altaria. Swaps other members as needed for battle, but Altaria is her ace.

-rather then being, ya know, the Player, the soul plucked to be made the Interceptor was a random, forgotten soul.

-due to being more or less forgotten, the soul was a blank slate. Early on she's heavily influenced by the og Aevia's soul, personality wise, even though her and the rest are still dormant.

-In addition due to the supposed blank slate, Aevia is given false memories of a past life to better fit her into the world. Crescent's creation of Nancy actually worked out perfectly for this. (I think this part is somewhat canon? At least the Nancy part, in Nancy working out great in making Aevia fit into the world despite being the Interceptor)

-Overall personality isn't too different from a kind-hearted Positive Karma player. She's nice, and very helpful. Also not very vengeful.

-Very quiet and not very expressive. As the story progresses she opens up and becomes more animated, but still doesn't talk a large degree unless around certain people.

-Likes practical jokes and puns tho

-also very mischievous, on that note. Has fun teasing or otherwise messing with her friends a bit

-very good with kids

-probably wouldn't take the fact she's effectively immortal from natural causes very well, even though she wouldn't know that by this point

As for Relationships, again not terribly different from a kind, good karma player, though with some key differences and exceptions (and also some specifics, which aren't terribly far removed from canon just elaborating on them)

-Her relationships with her main set of rivals and friends are largely the same. However-

-Particularly close with, and has romantic feelings for, both Venam and Melia

-with Venam, she's closer to, as they've spent gotten to spend more time together in casual settings rather then in life threatening adventures. Also have a shared enjoyment of pranks and messing with their friends.

-cares a great deal for Melia, but on the flip side to Venam, it's not quite the same closeness because like 90% of the time they're around each other they're also trying not to get killed to some degree, or are on some other similar risky or dangerous adventure. That being said, quite obviously Aevia would die for Melia and vice versa.

-besties with Aelita

-Cares a lot for Ren, but they were a fair bit distant due to the initial perceived betrayal from Ren. They've largely made amends by Chapter 15 though.

-Not as close to Erin or Kanon. Still cares about them, and enjoys spending time with them, but not as frequent compared to the rest of the hero squad.

-considers Amber and Mosley as siblings/family. Later on also considers Saki as a sort of sibling as well.

-has complicated feelings regarding Crescent. Some parts of her despise her for some of her actions, but her knowledge of why Crescent was that way softened her opinion of her somewhat.

-Otherwise her other relationships are not far removed from any canon. Notably forgiving, and sometimes even shows kindness to, to Ex Team Xen members (or members that clearly don't want to be there but can't leave, like Sharon and Eli). Ties in with Aevia not being terribly vengeful.

And finally how I imagine how these differences effect certain plot events, and how I believe Aevia's own development through the story occurs.

-As mentioned, initially she's heavily influenced by OG Aevia, including having skills like being able to play the piano and the like.

-Subconciously she starts to try and make herself her own person. With some help from her friends, she starts to be a bit more unique in personality, even if some influence from og Aevia still bleeds through (such as Aevia being incredibly self sacrificial)

-due to this subconscious desire to be her own person, it's what causes her to heavily change her appearance in Chapter 9, even fully changing her hair to brown. When she notices no one but Melia even mentions her appearance it starts to distress her.

-at the end of Chapter 11 when the Puppet Master first calls her the Interceptor, her false memories start to fade. She starts to low key have an identity crisis at this point, a crisis which only gets worse as she learns more about herself.

-Her internal struggles are only exacerbated towards the end of Chapter 15. When she gets a called an "Empty puppet" carrying a bunch of souls by Kieran and Clear, and she learns the nature of the souls within her making even her friends not truly see her for herself.

-However when she fully gets the support from og Aevia and the rest, she fully comes into her own person. Including her friends finally being able to actually see her. By the end of the chapter while there's of course loads of stress and things to worry about still with Team Xen, she does feel like a weight was lifted off her shoulders.

And that's it, I just wanted to make a super long post about a Blorbo. Get some of my thoughts somewhere.

Because even if in a couple weeks I'm into something completely different, I'll be back for Rejuvenation whenever v14 drops

[silkling]

Hi Silkling, could you please write a TFP story where Sierra discovers the Autobot's secret and joins up with Team Prime? TFP never really did much with her, and I think that a shame. I think Smokescreen would make a good partner for her.

Absolutely! Great to see you again in my ask box! :D your last prompt was super fun to write to, so I’m looking forward to this one! Now, I admit, I never paid much attention to Sierra, and the show didn’t give us a lot to work with, so I’m going to have to come up with some of her characterization. And I agree. So I’m mashing her with Smokescreen. It’s gonna a be great. I love Smokescreen very much! I even have a whole AU of my own for him. He’s a tiny happy dumbass and since Sierra has basically no canon personality, I can make her be his long-suffering but still very fond best friend.

———————————————————————————————————

Sierra had been having a good day. Emphasis on the word had. It was the weekend. She had packed a small picnic, grabbed her favorite book, and hopped on her bike. She’d ridden out to the popular hiking trails, intending to take a short hike and finding a nice place to spend the afternoon with a her novel and her snacks. The sun was out, the weather was great, and she had nothing to do today. It was perfect. So, of course, the laws of the universe demanded that something go wrong.

‘Murphy is a cruel bastard and and I’m going to punch him in the face when I see him in the afterlife.’ She thought viciously, staring up at the hulking titan that had just crushed her lunch and bike under a single massive metal foot with a sense of numb disbelief. ‘At least I still have the book.’ She ignored how the thought echoed with a note of hysteria as she shoved said book into the messenger bag over her shoulder.

“Are you Sierra O’Niell?”

She was only slightly surprised when the massive robot spoke. Because why wouldn’t the giant robot that had just moments ago been a jet be able to speak? Honestly, what even was her life at this point. She was more concerned with the fact that the thing knew her name. Her initial instinct was the demand how it knew her name. But she’d seen the movies. She knew that would only confirm it’s suspicions.

“Who?” she forced herself to ask instead, surprising herself with how steady her voice was. It was the shock, she told herself. It had to be. It was making her emotionally numb. “What are you?”

The robot seemed startled, before it snarled something that was most definitely a curse. It started speaking, though not to her, and it took Sierra a moment to realize it must have been talking over some sort of built in communication system. “-wrong human, Soundwave! This pathetic fleshling you pointed out to me doesn’t even know who I am talking about.” It paused. “What do you mean it’s not the wrong human? I just told you-“ it cut itself off. “Ah. I see.” A sinister grin twisted at metallic features. “Thank you, Soundwave. I will return with my prize shortly.”

Oh, Sierra did not like the sound of that.

Sure enough, the robot turned to face her when it was done. “It seems you lied to me, little fleshling.” it sneered. “My associate tracked the signal of your personal communications device. You humans never go without it, I’ve been told.”

She blinked. “You hacked my phone?” she sputtered, and oops, she’d just confirmed her identity. ‘Stupid, Sierra.’

It’s face twisted into a cruel expression of glee. She did not like it. “Indeed.” It began bending down, and then a large hand was reaching towards her. “You shall be coming with me, human. Soundwave has seen how Jackson Darby is fond of you.” it purred. “You will make a lovely bargaining chip against that pathetic human runt and his Autobot protectors.”

And wait, this was because of Jack? How did he come into all this? If this thing was after her because of him, that had to mean he knew about it and it’s…friends. Did robots have friends? She didn’t know. And wait, Autobot?

She stiffened, scrabbling away from the large metallic hand, shunting those questions to the back of her mind to be answered later. Escape the terrifying metal monster now, murder Jack for pulling her into this later. Clearly though, the robot disliked her attempt to flee because it only growled and stepped towards her again.

That’s when she heard the roaring of a powerful engine. It made the robot pause too, and they both looked to where the sound came from. Then, over the crest of a hill, a white and blue sports car came flying in. It had red accents and bold 38s painted onto its doors. Sierra was impressed. She was no car person, but even she liked this one. Only, the car started breaking apart once it hit the ground, unfolding and growing into the form of, you guessed it, another robot.

Sierra despaired for her luck. ‘Murphy is going to die a second time for this. He’d better be prepared.’ She thought with vicious hysteria.

Except, to her great surprise, the new robot didn’t try to help capture her. No, instead it rammed full force into the tall jet robot that had tried to snatch her up. Said jet yelped before quickly getting back to its feet. Sierra heard the should of metal and gears shifting, and saw the newcomer’s large hand change to some sort of weapon, though not one she could recognize.

“Terrorizing humans now, Starscream?” it taunted. “Can’t say I’m surprised, you always were one to sink so low.”

The first robot, Starscream, apparently, snarled in outrage. “Pathetic Autobot!” it roared, and oh, so this newcomer was Autobot?

Except, from the two names she’d heard already, that didn’t sound like the type of name these robots seemed to have. She did notice the little face badges they wore, the white bot bearing a red one proudly on its shoulders while the jet robot wore a smaller, pointier face on its chest. So maybe those had something to do with the whole ‘Autobot’ thing? Hell if she knew. Sierra was clever, and she’d always been good at puzzles and mystery solving, but she didn’t have enough information for this whole…thing.

“I’m not the one who’s picking on defenseless humans, ‘Con!” the car robot barked, smirking at the skinnier jet.

The jet only snarled, lifting an arm that she was just noticing had a freaking missile attached to it, and the white robot stilled briefly, before shooting her a frantic look and oh, would you look at that, she seemed to be right in the blast radius of the missile, and oh god she was going to die-

Except, there was that shifting sound again, but much larger, and then car robot was leaping towards her. It hit the ground in car form, it’s driver door open as it slid sideways in her direction, and then she was swept up into it and the door slammed shut. Tires squealed, and then they were peeling away to the sound of a missile screaming and impacting where they had been a half second before. The jet roared in outrage, but the car robot was speeding straight towards civilization, and it seemed to want to avoid that because when she glanced at the rear view mirror she saw it leap into the sky and transform before flying away.

Sierra slowly sat up from her ungainly sprawl, pulling the seatbelt across her chest on reflex before sitting back against the driver’s seat and wheezing. Her heartbeat, which she only just noticed had been thundering wildly in her chest, started to slowly calm, and she had to force herself to take deep, even breaths to keep herself from hyperventilating.

Now, Sierra wasn’t an irrational girl. She was among the top students of all her classes, she was smart, she knew a lot about various topics, and she had a good understanding of how people worked. She was clever, she knew she had a good head on her shoulders. She kept some of her interests closer to her chest, and she played the good, polite, quiet girl for the adults, because she wasn’t without manners, thank you very much. All that meant, though, was that she wasn’t prone to screaming in terror and running like a madman when she was freaked out by something. She would prefer to understand something rather than be irrationally terrified of it.

This, though? This was a bit much, even for her. As her heartbeat calmed, a sense of nausea built in her throat. “Excuse me, robot?” she squeaked. She wasn’t even sure if she could communicate with it while it was in car mode, but it was worth a shot.

“It’s Smokescreen.”

What?

“What?”

“My name is Smokescreen. Not “robot”.”

It sounded miffed. Which, okay. That was fair. If someone called her just “human” she’d probably be upset too. Hell, she had been upset when that other one, Starscream, had called her a “fleshling”. Smokescreen’s voice also sounded very male, and she paused before asking.

“And you’re not an “it” either, then?”

“No, I’m a mech.” A pause. “Uh, a male, by your definitions.”

“Okay. Smokescreen. Well, I’m Sierra, and as grateful as I am for your rescue you should really, really stop and let me out. Humans don’t handle extreme stress very well and I’m about to be sick.”

“Sick?”

Oh god, did robots even get sick?

“I’m about to vomit. Which means I am very close to expelling internal body waste, and it will be right in your seats if you don’t let me out so I can barf behind some rocks.” she informed him tightly, fighting down a gag.

There was a brief moment if silence as Smokescreen seemed to process her words, before he turned off the side of the road, drove behind some rocks, and popped open the door. “Please don’t be sick in me.” Oh, now he sounded sick. Sierra felt a little bad.

She didn’t say anything to that, instead stumbling out of the car and out of sight, before promptly bending over and tossing her breakfast. She gagged on bile, and after a moment of pause to make sure there was nothing left in her stomach, she stood and made her way back to where Smokescreen was waiting. She pulled her water bottle from her bag, taking a sip and washing out her mouth with it before spitting it to the side, and then she proceeded to drink everything left in the bottle. She tucked it away, turning to her impromptu ride, and opened her mouth to speak, when-.

“Oh slag.” He beat her to the punch.

She was confused, recognizing that as a curse of some sort, and then she heard the beeping from his radio.

“Um, hold on for a minute, alright? I gotta take this.” He sounded anxious, and didn’t give her a chance to answer before there was a click as he did just that.

She heard muffled noises over the radio, though she couldn’t make out the words being said.

“Um, yeah. There was a ‘Con signal. I was close so I checked it out.”

More radio noises, angry sounding ones.

“I know, I know! But I was closest and no one would pick up their comm. so I thought I should st least check it out! It was a good thing too, Starscream was there and he was about to snatch up a human!”

A pause, and then an explosion of garbled noise from the radio. Sierra got the feeling that Smokescreen was wincing.

“Well what was I supposed to do? Let her be taken? Plus she’d already seen him so it wasn’t like seeing me was going to do much damage!”

A growling noise, followed by a hiss of static.

“Yes, Ratchet. I know. And I am sorry, alright! I know I went against code again but if I had waited a human would’ve been in Deception hands and as new as I am to this planet, even I know that’s bad!”

Wait, planet? Was this giant ass robot an actual alien? That…honestly made sense. With that day she’d had, she wasn’t even surprised. Smokescreen was still having his discussion with…whoever was on the other end.

“Yes, I’ll bring her back to base. I’m not going to apologize for saving her, though.”

More angry static.

“Yeah yeah. I get it.”

He sounded tired, defeated. Sierra felt bad, and wondered what was being said to make him sound like that when he’d been so bright before.

“No, you don’t need to send a ground bridge. I’m close to the base anyway. I’ll be there soon.”

There was a click as Smokescreen disconnected from whoever called him, and then she could tell he was talking to her when he spoke next. “Mind hopping in? I gotta bring you back to base. The boss can explain everything. I promise you won’t be hurt or anything.”

Sierra hesitated for a moment, then sighed. She knew she probably shouldn’t, but at this point what was the harm? Besides, her gut instinct was telling her that, based on what that Starscream character had said about Jack, she wouldn’t have to worry about being hurt. Not if Darby spent all his free time around these weird alien robots and came back fine. Mind decided, she slipped into the car’s open door. It shut on its own, and she buckled herself in once more.

“Thanks.” He sounded grateful. And then he was driving off.

He wasn’t saying anything, and neither was Sierra, and she let herself be alone with her thoughts. They drove for a while, and Sierra let herself enjoy the landscape that passed by Smokescreen’s window. He really was a nice ride, she mused. Sleek and fast, and his engine purred quietly as he drove along the highway. She didn’t know much about cars, but she knew his car mode was a good one.

Soon enough, they were coming towards a large mesa. Smokescreen drove right toward its side, not even slowing as he approached, Sierra tensed, about to protest, when a previously invisible door opened in the rock face. She shut her mouth, her eyes blowing wide. Oh. That explained that. Their base was hidden in plain sight. Which…she supposed was fitting, for alien robots who disguised themselves as cars and jets. Smokescreen took them through a tunnel, and then they were coming into a large central chamber. Sierra peeked out if the window to see two other robots there. One, stocky and painted in red and white. The other…was absolutely massive. He towered above the red and white bot, and she had a feeling he’d tower over Smokescreen too. He was broad as he was tall, with wide shoulders and a heavy looking chest, his metal armor painted in red and blue. Sierra didn’t know how she knew, but she just knew that this large one was a he, a mech, as Smokescreen had said.

The door at her side popped open, and after brief hesitation she unbuckled herself and stood up. There was that sound of transformation behind her, and she glanced back to see Smokescreen rising to his feet in his robot mode. Then a voice spoke and she snapped her head around to see the large bot speaking.

“Greetings, young one. My name is Optimus Prime. My companion is Ratchet, and you have already met Smokescreen.”

Ratchet. That’s who Smokescreen had been talking to earlier. “I’m Sierra.” she said after a moment. “Sierra O’Niell.”

Optimus tilted his head downwards in her direction. “May I inquire why Starscream was attempting to abduct you, if you know?”

“You’re very polite.” she remarked dryly. “He said something about wanting to use me to get to Jack Darby, so that he could in turn use Jack to get to the “Autobots”. I’m guessing that’s you guys?”

Optimus shared a look with Ratchet, then looked back at her. “Indeed. Myself and my team are Autobots. Starscream is a Decepticon. Our factions are enemies, I am afraid.” he explained. “We are not from your world, Sierra O’Niell. We hail from a planet called Cybertron. Our two factions were at War on our home, and that War destroyed our world. The Deceptions came here, searching for energon, and we have followed them to keep them from destroying your planet and it’s people in their quest for it.”

Sierra turned that over. She’d guessed they weren’t from Earth, so that wasn’t a surprise. The rest of the information was new, though. And appreciated. “What’s energon? And how does Jack fit into all this?”

Optimus sighed. “Energon is an energy source, and the very lifeblood of every Cybertronian.” he explained. “It is a natural resource that was once common on our home, and somehow Earth too produces it in great abundance.” he explained. “Jackson, Miko, and Raphael became involved with us by accident. They were seen with my Autobots when they mistakenly were pulled into a battle with the Decepticons, and the Decepticons assumed they were our allies. In order to protect them, we took them under our watch and guard to ensure they could not be harmed.”

So, Esquivel and Nakadai were part of this too. She shouldn’t be surprised. She’d seen the cars that picked those two up, now that she thought of it. Speaking of which….

“Jack’s motorcycle is an Autobot, isn’t it? And Miko and Raphael’s cars?”

Optimus hummed. “Indeed. Arcee, Bumblee, and Bulkhead were the ones to initially partner with and save the children in that first encounter. After they were brought into the fold, it made only sense to assign them as their Autobot guardians.”

Sierra nodded as she took that all in. Then she frowned. “I’m involved now too, aren’t I? I would have been involved regardless, if the Decepticons were really after me, but Smokescreen saving me just means my involvement is going to be more pleasant than it otherwise would have been.”

Optimus and Ratchet shared yet another look, before casting their gazes to Smokescreen. The white bot fidgeted under their combined stares, head ducking and looking uncomfortable. “While we are not pleased that the youngling acted on impulse and charged into battle against protocol, we are pleased that he saved your life, young Sierra.” Optimus said after a moment.

Sierra blinked. “Youngling.” she repeated in confusion. Then she narrowed her eyes. “You’re not getting him into trouble for saving me, are you?” she asked heatedly. The very idea insulted her.

Optimus twitched as if startled, then rumbled a soft chuckle. “Youngling, yes. It is a term used by Cybertronians to refer to those of us who are not yet fully grown. Smokescreen is the equivalent of a human teenager.” he explained. “And worry not. In this instance, we can overlook the breach in regulations. It would send a poor message to punish a bot for upholding the Autobot creed.”

Sierra relaxed at that, nodding. Then she narrowed her eyes. “I’m going to want to have a discussion with you later about why you’re letting teenagers fight in a war, but I know now isn’t the time.” she said threateningly.

Both older bots startled back and her tone and words, and Smokescreen squeaked from behind her. She turned and drew a harsh line across her mouth before he could say anything, and she watched as he stared, slack-jawed, before closing his mouth with an audible clack. That done, she returned her attention to the apparent leader. There was one more thing she wanted settled.

“You said the others got guardians, right?”

A nod.

“Well, if I’m going to need one, and something tells me I will, then I want this one.” she jerked her thumb over her shoulder at Smokescreen.

Optimus’s eyes narrowed in what she realized was a faint smile. “If Smokescreen agrees, then I have no issues with that.” he hummed. “All I ask is that you remain here until our liaison with the human government arrives. Agent Fowler will want to discuss some matters with you before you return home.”

Sierra blinked. So the government knew about all this. That was good to know. It meant she wouldn’t get in trouble for conspiring with aliens if it ever came to light. She could also understand why they kept this whole thing a secret, even if governments hiding things from the public wasn’t always a good thing. In this case, it was a good thing.

“As long as I’m home before my curfew.” she agreed.

Another bow of that great head, and then Optimus was turning to stride away. Presumably to make contact with this Fowler. That left her and Smokescreen with Ratchet.

The stocky bot glanced at them, then turned to that odd console she’d noticed earlier. “Smokescreen will show you around.” Was all he said, waving them away with a dismissive flip of his hand.

Sierra, taking that as her cue, turned to the youngest bot. She thrust out her hand. “What do you say? Partners?”

He seemed confused, before slowly crouching and extending his hand to tap a finger to her palm. “Yeah, sure.” he seemed a little awed that she’d want to partner with him.

She smiled. “Good. In that case, why don’t you give me a ride and show me around your base?”

Smokescreen seemed confused. “Ride?”

“On your shoulder. I’d like to see it from your perspective.”

He blinked, then shrugged and put his hand, palm up, on the floor. Sierra took that as her que to climb up, and he carefully transferred her to his shoulder. Cool. Very cool. She just wanted to ride on the giant alien robot, and now she got to. That was cool.

She saw him look at her out of the corner of his bright, shining blue eyes, and she smiled warmly. “Well? Show me around your home, big guy. I’d like to get to know you.”

Smokescreen perked up, the little protrusions on his back wiggling with his apparent joy, and Sierra grinned a little wider. Oh, he was cute. How a giant robot could be endearing, she didn’t know, but he did it. He was sort of like a puppy. A giant, metal, alien puppy. She held on as he started walking, and she listened with half an ear, processing and noting what he told her as the rest of her mind turned over the events of her day.

It had been stressful, and scary, but now that it was all done and she was fine…

‘Yeah.’ she thought, watching her new partner eagerly show her around the small, hidden base he called home. ‘I think I’m gonna like it here.’

———————————————————————————————————

And that was that! I hoped you like it! It was fun to write. The show didn’t give Sierra a last name or a real personality, so I had to kind of do that bit myself. And I was right! I did enjoy writing this. The prompt inspired me to write this faster than I thought I’d be able to. I do not expect to be able to fill a prompt this quickly again. Unfortunately. Also, Sierra is definitely going to be the straight man to Smokescreen. He’s going to need it. Badly.

Until next time, friends!

[hand-0f-fate]

I just finished iwwv and i have to say i enjoyed it much more than I initially thought i would.

I had seen some valid criticism about the plot and comparisons to tsh and i agree to some extent but i still think iwwv is not only a fun read but also a quite interesting one? As a former theatre kid I am surprised so many people seem to dislike it?

Specifically I don’t really get why people complain about the characters being “flat” or the ending “predictable” when that is the main goal?

All the characters are supposed to be flat because the structure of the book tries to mimic a play in which each part represents something to the plot which is linked to the archetype they play? Their backgrounds or their personalities are just a device to the archetype not actual characterization?

Like the whole point of the book, the way the dialogue is written and the way the characters interact with each other the fact the book is divided in scenes and acts? All that is trying to copy a theater play.

Spoilers ahead

What gets the plot started is Hamlet, when Richard doesn’t get the part he wanted he becomes violent and starts hurting people. It just happens fast and unexpectedly. When you first read it it might just come as lazy writing, creating conflict, not bothering in crafting an actual issue or in building enough tension to make it flow naturally but the thing is: it is not supposed to make sense, he is just a villain to a story, not even an actual villain but the tyrant, Caesar, the force that dooms the characters to tragedy, his motifs are not as relevant as the part he plays.

And this structure is the same for every character, for James is quite obvious. He used to be the prince, the hero in every play but as soon as he plays Macbeth his arc changed and he becomes Macbeth: he kills Richard and can’t bear his own guilt which is slowly devouring him.

Oliver is always his right-hand man which literally explains the ending. Meredith is the femme fatal and her actions are a double edged sword which lead Oliver to his fate and so on with each character.

For the ending being predictable: in the first 2 chapters of the book you learn: 1 Oliver is in jail 2 their fourth year was “the year of tragedies”. Literally. So when Oliver starts retelling everything that happened you already know how it is going to end: it is a tragedy that is going to send him to jail.

During the course of the novel when Olvier is not retelling the story they speak about what are the rest of characters are doing now, about their careers and their lives and surprisingly there is only one character missing in that scheme: the one who was closer to Oliver, James. Somehow they never talk about him in the present.

The whole point of that for me is letting the reader know he is dead while we slowly discover his past and his relationship with Oliver so we can’t help but wish we are wrong and to hope that perhaps the book will have a different ending only for it to play exactly as we had first guessed and leave us sad but hopeful still when we discover the last note James left for Oliver and the strange circumstances of his death.

Obviously the book is highly influenced by tsh and it is not as great if you ask me but I think it is clever and quite enjoyable specially if you like theater and dark academia tbh

[insomniacowl]

Neon Genesis Evangelion analysis chapter 21: Kaji Ryoji Lies and Silence

Hi, it's been a while. I'm sorry I disappeared for 5 months while working on the graduate thesis. From now on I will try to upload once every two weeks at 7pm on Saturday.

From here on out, the analysis will focus on the important characters of Evangelion with 15 chapters left to go. Thank you for your patience so far and I hope you all stick with me for the remainder of the ride.

Also, I realized that Tumblr now allows maximum of 10 photos a post, so I am thinking of moving or co-posting on a different site. I'll update all of you when that happens

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Sakiel: The third angel, the first real opponent of Nerv. A portion of voice recordings of the battle attained

Shamel: The fourth angel, visual data gathered and backed up. Will send recordings of Unit – 01's battle against it.

Ramiel: The fifth angel, portion of remains attained and analyzed. Will send information about AT field.

Gagiel: The sixth angel, visual confirmation. Information attained from the UN. Will send information along with Unit – 02's battle data.

Israphel: The seventh angel, visual confirmation, will send data through channel 11-B. Attained sample of material composition

Sandalphon: The eight angels, confirmation through a still image. No further information

Matarael: The ninth angel, visual confirmation. Used the blackout to obtain a sample.

Sahaquel: The tenth angel, photographed attained. Will enter into the database through channel 57-F

Ireul: The eleventh angel, visual confirmation, data erased by Nerv. Will retrieve physically and send them over.

Reriel: The twelfth angel. Unit – 01 went berserk again

Bardiel: The thirteenth angel. Data attained from Mitsushiro facility

Zeruel: The fourteenth angel, visual confirmation. Unit – 01 went berserk. Will send video data.

---Excerpt from "The memos of Kaji Ryoji."

"2015: the Last Year of Ryoji Kaji" was written by the head scriptwriter Yamaguchi Hiroshi and was published in 1997. It contains Kaji's observations of various Incidents and set pieces in the series. It is not anything too particular; however, the fresh perspective Kaji's writings provide makes this an essential material in our understanding of the world of Evangelion. The excerpts mentioned above are essential proof of Kaji's identity as a spy and prove that the blackout during Matarael's attack was deliberately caused by Kaji and Seele.

Furthermore, it explains how Seele had attained information regarding Iruel's existence and its attack on the Nerv facility, even when Nerv/Gendou tried to hide this fact.

The memo above seems to be the observation of Nerv and the angels made by Kaji. While Kaji officially belongs under the Japanese government's command, as we have covered in Chapter 17, the Japanese government is unaware of Lilith's existence. It, therefore, has a different numbering system from Nerv and Seele.

Adding on to this point, the public in the world of Evangelion is unaware of the existence of Lilith. High-ranking Nerv officials such as Misato are aware of Lilith only as of the cause of the First impact and no more. Thus we can deduce that Kaji made the memo while he was on Seele's side, considering that he knew about Lilith in detail. But Kaji never once wholly and permanently sided with any organization. Like how his main character trait is a "flirt," he is never loyal to any organization, just like how he is perceived to be with women; two, perhaps three-timing.

Kaji: You've lost weight

Ritsuko: Are you flirting with me? Stop. A scary-looking friend is watching.

However, it is wrong to say that Kaji was a cheater by any means. His heart belonged only to Misato, and she was the one he trusted the most. His flirting with Ritsuko and Maya made others view him as a superficial person and did not take him too seriously. This got some eyes off his back. This would have given him more freedom to act in achieving his goals (but also, it might have been fun to get Misato jealous in a playful way).

Kaji: Not like you are going to repay that. I added some dummy information in case.

Now, let's take a closer look at Kaji's actions throughout the series. He makes his first appearance in episode 7, having a phone call with Gendou discussing the Jet Alone (JA) program. Because JA was developed as a competition to the Evangelion projects, its implementation would have caused Nerv's authority to weaken and jeopardize the HIP. Making it a top priority to prevent its further development. Minus the actions taken by Misato, the proceedings of JA going berserk and being miraculously fixed were likely a scenario manufactured by Gendou.

Kaji: it has been restored up to this point. It is frozen in a thick layer of bayclade, but it is alive.

The key to the HIP

We first see his face in episode 8 on a new mission: Transporting Adam and Unit – 02 to Nerv headquarters. He likely attained Adam's body in Germany, stealing it under the nose of our dear old friend Keel. The question is, how did he do it? We will never know the details, but we know that Seele's projects that required Adam were complete at this point (Creation of Evas and Tabris). They may not have had much use or concern for the leftovers. Since Adam's fetal form is small, it would have been easy to swap the original for a copy before he left. Of course, this would not have gone unnoticed for long, and it did not.

In episode 10, we see Kaji talking to an unknown woman about the initiation of protocol A-17. It appears to be a measure that limits and shrinks Nerv's authority and freeze their funds. Just like the JA plan, it shows the hostility of the Japanese government towards Nerv. Because Nerv and Seele are still on agreeable terms, Kaji is seen as a double spy between Nerv and the Japanese government. But in episode 11, the Nerv blackout happens. With clues spread over the episode pointing to Kaji as the culprit with Seele's support, we begin to see him in action as a triple spy.

The reason why Kaji undertook such a dangerous role is to get closer to the "Truth." Upon realizing the Japanese government's imbecility, he begins to walk the rope between Nerv and Seele to seek the truth.

Kaji: Is that an angel? This is not the time to be doing my job

We first see him in action in episode 13 while the HQ was distracted defending against Ireul. Here we see him collecting information around the central dogma. While doing so, Kaji notices the angel while passing through the passage in level 28 and hears the announcement that the "Sigma unit (the Eva simulation chamber) will be shut off in 60 seconds. Bearing in mind that Magi is located in level 40 and that a lower number refers to a deeper level, we can see that Kaji has already infiltrated deep into the complex. As central dogma and Lilith were information that Nerv and Seele wanted to keep secret, this infiltration was likely Kaji's initiative. With the same logic, we can also say that the information he gathered regarding the Marduk institution in episode 15 was his individual action as well.

Later in the episode, he is found by Misato as he was trying to infiltrate the central dogma. But Kaji does not seem surprised by this fact and opens the door without hesitation. What they see on the other side was the white giant Lilith. However, we hear Kaji refer to it as Adam. Why? There are two possible explanations for this. First is that Kaji knew that it was Lilith but deliberately lied to Misato.

This explanation is weak at best. It contradicts the characterization of Misato being the only woman Kaji trusts. Further, it contradicts the portrayal of their relationship in the following episodes. It is also difficult to explain why Kaji would distinguish between Adam and Lilith in his explanation to Misato.

The other possible explanation is that Kaji believed this to be Adam, and I am personally more convinced of this explanation. As we have seen in an earlier episode, Kaji passed on the Adam sample to Gendou. Both were fully aware of what he has gotten into his hands (puns perhaps intended). Then why did Kaji believe that it was Adam in central dogma? He likely at this moment believed that the white giant was the manifestation of the Adam sample that he stole. Although it looked different, Kaji, who saw Sandalphon transforming at an unbelievable speed, would have drawn parallels.

Kaji's misunderstanding is also supported by the secretiveness of the existence of Lilith. The information being top-secret accessible only to the Gendou and Seele. Even when Gendou referred to Adam as "The first man," it could be him trying to misdirect Kaji on the identity of the white giants. Although the reason for this secretiveness is not apparent, we know that Seele was ashamed of their status as the descendent of Lilith, this being the reason for conducting the ritual of atonement.

The HIP Seele type is, in essence, based on the feeling of perceived inferiority against the Adam-based angels. Thus it can explain away why Seele would want to keep the project a secret from the public. Even without such reasons, Lilith's identity as a being in the same caliber of existence as Adam might have created a need to keep her locked away and kept secret. This to minimize unnecessary friction and interference in their plans by other organizations.

To add on, let's touch on the strange phrase written on the container of Adam's sample that Kaji brought over. "Who is you? He is living. Why?". There are no explanations given regarding this phrase. It is likely written by one of the researchers in the german facility that was studying this sample. Being the only remaining Adam sample that seemed alive with the absence of a soul, it would have been baffling to look at it.

This lie about the identity of Adam and Lilith is a recurring motif. In the earlier chapters discussing the angels' identity, I have mentioned that due to the enemies being the "Angels," Evangelion fundamentally rejects the narrative of Good triumphing over Evil. During one of the sequences in the opening song, there is a frame reading "ADAM," and it is unique as it is the only one that is black words with a white background. This likely foreshadows the fact that information regarding Adam that we receive is different, thus, at some level, inaccurate or lies.

Either way, the truth of the White giant's identity is revealed near the end of the series. The audiences are made aware of it through the exposition of Tabris. For Miasto, she receives this truth from Kaji along with all the information and data he collected by himself. Through this 'Truth,' we can infer what Kaji wanted to protect and what his 'will' was. This 'will' to live is passed on from Kaji to Misato, from Misato to Shinji, and influences his decision during the end of Evangelion.

Kaji: Shinji, the only thing that I can do right now is to water these plants. And as much, there are things that only you are capable of accomplishing right now. No one is going to force you to do anything. Think for yourself. Decide for yourself. Determined what it is that you need to do right now.

So that you will not end up in regrets.

The alliance between Gendou and Seele began to show signs of schisms in episode 19 after Unit – 01 consumed Zeruel's S2 engine and became a being as though god. This was more in line with the plan of Gendou, who sought for the creation of a new god, the material conditions misaligning from Seele's plans of atoning for the sin of Lilith. Kaji was very much likely to have been aware of all this. When the schisms showed, Kaji had to choose the side he had to stand with. He seemed to have concluded that Nerv is closer to the truth that he wanted. Therefore he ended up helping Gendou achieve his version of the HIP.

I say this as Kaji played a crucial role in convincing Shinji to return and pilot Unit – 01 during the battle against Zeruel. Afterward, Kaji released Fuyutsuki, who was kidnapped by Seele, and began his pro-Nerv strategies. This leads up to his assassination by Seele's orders. To borrow Seele's words, "The bell around Gendou's neck lost its will to ring."

Fuyutsuki: Is that you Kaji?

Kaji: It's been a while.

Fuyutsuki: You will lose your life if you do this.

Kaji: I am just heading towards the truth that I believe in.

Let me talk a little more about his death. In episode 21 of the renewal version, an additional line was spoken: "They found out that I handed over Adam's sample to Gendou." This draws a line connecting the importance of Adam's Sample in Kaji's death and its role in the HIP.

Regarding the Assassin identity, due to the scene of Misato's grief being placed right after Kaji's death in "Death and Rebirth," some believed that it was Misato killed Kaji. One of the rare things that Anno came forward and cleared up was that Kaji's assassin was an unnamed individual that we do not see ever on screen. An additional argument made by those suspecting Misato as the culprit claims the evidence of interlaying of Misato's apartment door label right after the gunshot. This was later removed in the renewal version.

Kaji: No one can understand another person to a full extend. They can't even understand themselves.

But that is why people try their best to understand the other.

And that is what makes life such a fun experience.

Many of what Kaji says touches on the critical messages of Evangelion. It is also why I am starting off this section, the analysis of characters with Kaji; understanding Kaji is integral to understanding the series as a whole. He loved Misato but could not tell her his true feelings during the happiness of reunion after eight years. This was likely the greatest form of love that he could have given her, knowing that he is close to his death. The reason for Kaji's obsession with the truth and the sufferings he experienced in the past is fleshed out in detail in the comics version. He was orphaned as a consequence of the Second impact. After a failed attempt at stealing food from the military base, all of his friends were killed, leaving him alive and questioning the reason for their suffering and death. Kaji sought to avenge his friends by understanding why the Second impact happened.

But even without going into the details, we can try and understand the pain and suffering he went through as the generation living after the Second impact. Yet, his general attitude towards life and his ability to call living to be fun is his unique charm. He even managed to have a smile on his face while looking at the face of his death. His smile was not a forced fake that he made to mask his fear of death; he has probably smiled from the bottom of his heart.

Yo. You're late

Because he would have already reached the truth that he worked so part to attain.

TBC Chapter 22: Katsuragi Misato Part 1 With a cross in hand

[the-goddessfighter]

[ Alien vs Predator Batarou AU - Part 1 ]

by: Little1993lamb

for: Temperans-sama / @the-goddessfighter Word count: 7252 Warning: Background characters' death. Some violence and gore mentions, but not too explicit.

Not exactly a fanfic but more of a long scenario AU headcanon. Caution for bad English and very limited vocabulary as I'm not native English speaker and still not fluent enough, OOC characterizations, and lots of inaccurate concepts compared from the movie plotline as this headcanon is just loosely inspired by it, so please forgive me if this not so good I'm so sorry 🙇💦

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This AU headcanon was based on my weird "Alien vs Predator" movie-like dream I had weeks ago. But for this AU, the story has slightly modificated to fit Batarou situation:

• Badd as a Spaceman, working for the extraterrestrial research scientists organization, unexpectedly met Garou in one of his mission.

• Garou as one of the Yautja/Predator warriors, aiding Badd on fighting against the Xenomorphs Aliens.

The other headcanon concepts, like Garou's concept designs for the AU, are written on the notes at the end of story below.

As I promised before, this is my present for you to begin the year 2021, Temperans-sama (and of course also everyone in the fandom). I hope you enjoyed this AU headcanon!

Let's get started! 😊😉👌💖

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Badd was working for Space and Extraterrestrial Research Organization as their Spaceman. Not as the researcher because he hates to work in a lab, he rather to do some actions in the field or outdoor works. There were several divisions for Spacemen jobs in the Organization, but what Badd specialized was the ones who could do fighting or combat. Basically like security guard to ensure the safety of Research Organization members. Sometimes he also being included in a rescue team when there was something life-threatening emergency situation happens.

One day, he got a mission along with his other coworkers in rescue team to save their crewmates, who previously were sent to investigate an unknown spaceship that was approaching Earth's orbit but then they were trapped in there.

Just after arriving on the ship and navigating their crewmates' location, they found a bunch of terrifying monstrous Xenomorph aliens attacking them. Battle was ensued, many of them died because they weren't expected these creatures' presence in the spaceship. None of the hostages crewmates informed them because turned out either they were already dead or incapable to send complete information to the base.

In the middle of fighting inside an alien spaceship, Badd finally met one of the hostage crewmates who is also one of his bestfriend and he joined to fight along with his friend against the creatures.

At the end of exhausting battle, Badd and that one friend survived on escaping from the ship along with some few other crewmates. When Badd asked him on a private room, "Why didn't you send help request more sooner?", the friend just answered, "Because I was waiting for this moment".

Badd saw his friend's appearance changing into an unknown stranger figure: a spiky white haired humanoid alien with heavily intricate armored body. Surprisingly, he is not so hideous like the other alien creatures but still has an otherworldly figure.

Badd was stunned when the stranger alien explained his intention using some language translator device on his helmet armor,

"Initially, my warrior troops were gonna invade your precious Earth but unexpectedly our spaceship was infested by those creatures you've seen before. I'm the Leader and the only survivor during the ambush and that's when your naive crewmates coming to our already wrecked ship. They sent SOS signal to your base when they were under attack. Because I want a chance for long-term survival, I borrowed your dead friend's appearance by shapeshifted as him".

He continued, "Luckily, you found me and think of me as your friend! I must gained your trust by playing along as your crewmate the whole time so I could hop into your ship together with you, thus fulfilling my intention to invade the Earth. Thanks for bringing me along, tiny human..".

The alien warrior ended his speech with a growling voice into the still stunned Badd's ear. Then he reached on his armor helmet mask and slowly took them off, revealing the true face of him:

A humanoid monster-like face with wide ridged forehead, intimidating-looked narrow hollowed eyes in which have round big golden-coloured irises, no nose, has these huge mandibles complete with two sets of long pointed tusks on them, and when they opened a bit Badd could see rows of sharp teeth inside. This alien warrior also has swept-back long spiky white hair, it was the most eye-catching feature on him.

Realizing Badd was observing his unmasked face, the white-haired alien suddenly snarled by opened his mandibles up in front of Badd's face to scare him. He wanted to test if this human would weirded out or cowering in fear from seeing his real appearance or not. But Badd only jolted back in reflex from getting surprised, without any hints of fear detected in his eyes. "You.. aren't scared by me?"

Badd was taken aback by the question, "Huh? Nah. I've seen much worse and it wasn't you, obviously".

"Not for a little bit? Nothing at all?", the alien didn't convinced by Badd's statement at all.

"Yep. 'Sides, I rather looked at your face than have to witness those Lovecraftian abominable creatures in that spaceship before. Hey what are you trying to do, by the way, huhh??", Badd could swears this white-haired alien just wanted to make fun of him. 

The white-haired alien just humming and nodding to himself, "Hmm.. You're indeed an interesting one.", as he placed his hand under his chin and rubbing it, it seems like he found some amusement in Badd.

Although he was indeed caught off-guard by the surprise snarl, Badd didn't afraid of him on a slightest, instead he actually was mesmerized by the alien's charm. Badd blurted out, "Are you gonna eat me?".

The white-haired alien just giving a funny look for a second and then grinning widely after hearing that silly question, showing all of his sharp teeth and fangs inside his mandibles, "No, not yet. Not until I know you better..", a chuckling sounds like a cat's purr was heard from him as he caressed the human's soft cheek with his long claws.

Badd frowned on what the alien had said, 'So in the end he will devours me if I'm not useful anymore?'. He didn't wanna think what he should explain to Zenko when the time has come.

When Badd said he didn't afraid to die, it doesn't mean he wanted to leave his beloved little sister alone, not when she hasn't finished her education in college and reaching her dream! Also, sure as hell not by being eaten by this strange alien!

Seeing Badd was slightly affected by the threatening words, he retreated his hand back. "Well I'm just joking, I never and wont eat humans, don't worry. They make a good prey but totally not good for consumption at all". Then he laughed loudly at Badd's dumb-strucked face. Badd started to feel pissed off: they both had just met and this alien already have the guts for teasing him twice??

The laughing finally ceased, "I think we should cooperating from now on. What is your name, little human?", the alien curiously asked, those bright yellow irises staring deep into Badd's rich dark chocolate eyes, searching for any hints of fear emotions but instead found some fire ablaze in them.

"Badd. My name's Badd, just remember whose human who had saved your sorry ass", he answered while removing the clawed hand that caressed his cheek, boldly swatting it away from him.

The charming white-haired alien quickly caught Badd's hand and clasped it with his palm, "Ooh a feisty one! Seems like I was right for choosing to fight along with you minutes ago, you're quite strong for a mere human. I like that. And you can call me 'Garou'. Nice to meet you, Badd..".

From the corner of his eye, Badd saw 'Garou' took something from his pocket. It was a small piece of the Xenomorph's sliced finger. He squished it a bit until the green-ish blood residue leaked out from the cut, then slowly moved it closer towards Badd's face.

"Stay still, Badd", the warrior instructed him.

"WHOAA NONO NO NO, GET IT AWAY FROM MY FACE!!", the young spaceman tried to swat that finger thing from Garou's hand and moved away as far as possible, refusing Garou's request.

"I said stay still! Calm down it's just a quick little brush", Garou insisted as he keeps holding Badd's hand to prevent Badd from swatting and moving too much.

The moment Badd's forehead being brushed by the blood as Garou carved a symbol on him, his skin sizzled from the contact of corrosive acid fluid and those left red scratched marks as the result.

"OUCH OW THAT HURTS! IT BURNED MY SKIN, JACKASS!!", Badd shouted then grimaced at the burned sensation on his forehead, he let out pained moaning. "Uuh.. What's that for?"

"I'm 'marking' you. You fight along with me, you even managed to kill those creatures despite being a human. Therefore, you earned my respect to bear an honourable mark from me," Garou smiled proudly at Badd, genuinely happy to find such a strong fierce human at the first meeting.

Badd didn't know how he should reacted at the explanation, but after seeing Garou's genuine proud expression he thought maybe it was actually a very rare honourable thing to be given outside his clan. From the spaceship window glass reflection, Badd could see the fresh carved scratched-like mark. He was admiring how neat the mark Garou has carved onto his forehead. An honour mark.

"Umm.. Honestly I didn't expected it, but.. Thank you, I guess?", Badd muttered while caressing his freshly marked skin.

"You're welcome, tiny human. So, right now we are heading towards your precious Earth, right? Do you have any spare room in your house for me, hmm?", Garou grinning confidenty, expecting for more interesting things from Badd after they live together.

Badd felt an impending huge migrane forming in his head, as well as the sudden urge to facepalm so hard, "... Goddamnit."

This would changed his normal daily life.

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As the consequence of accidentally helping Garou, Badd must hide his existence from the Research Organization. So, after arrived back to the Earth, Badd must gives false-report for the base that their rescue mission was failed and only a few of team members were survived.

During that time, Garou made himself invisible but also could shapeshift into anyone for more advanced stealth tactics. Badd allowed Garou to live temporarily in his house, as long as Garou wont harming his beloved little sister Zenko and his cute cats.

At first, Garou forgot to shift into his human form in front of Zenko when Badd sneakily brought him into his house at late night. He didn't know Zenko was still awake at that hour because she was waiting for his comeback.

Badd wanted to smack himself after noticed Garou's big mistake, but after staring intensely at Garou for a full minute, Zenko just nonchalantly said,

"So you've got back from the space and you're bringing an alien boyfriend home? Hmm.. Not bad. Nice choice by the way, I always know your type, big bro", and she gives Badd thumbs up of approval.

Garou takes a liking on Zenko's bravery, maybe he could get along with her more easier later. On the other hand, despite his attempt at correcting Zenko that Garou isn't his alien boyfriend (yet), it makes Badd feels relieved that his little sister doesn't really mind of him bringing an extraterrestrial being as a new roommate in their house.

Garou spending most of his time at Badd's home by trying to learn human's behaviour and any other knickknack Earth-y things out of curiousity, that he slowly forgetting his original intentions and getting more interested on building a newfound relationship with Badd.

Badd also slowly growing fond of this charming alien, especially when Garou becomes more protective to him and his family, not to mention Garou actually learning humanity better than actual human. He was actually surprised that Garou had decided to develop a new "adaptive" form, in which a mix between his real form and human form, to help him communicate better with Badd while still maintaining most of his real appearance. Especially when it requires him speaking by human language more fluently.

Sometimes when Badd wasn't working or taking a day-off, they would spending time together at home and exchanged stories of their life. After Badd promised Garou that he wont tell any information to the higher up in the Organization, Garou explaining his life as a Warrior from his own planet, the secret history behind the invasion mission toward Earth and the super advanced technologies they owned compared with what human have currently.

It's kinda fun to have someone from another world to talk casually with, since Garou himself didn't have many close friends in his own troops. Not even to the old Elder warrior, Bang, who Garou regards as his adoptive father and his former trainer.

In return, Badd telling Garou about his favorite things, his childhood stories, his family including his late parents, everything about Zenko as he adores her so much, also about the reason why he took such adventurous yet dangerous job as Spaceman for the Research Organization. If Garou ever curious for some Earth-y stuff that he still didn't understand (as he called those things "outdated ancient stuff"), Badd will also explaining about them to him.

On special occasion, Badd would brings Garou and Zenko out to go shopping together or having fun on amusement park. He thinks it's good idea to take Garou with him and introducing many fun things humans usually do in daily life. It feels good to have a sense of having a full family again after he lost his own parents years ago. Besides, seeing how adorable Garou trying to enjoy human's entertaintments or bonding with Zenko was amusing.

To blending himself in public when they're going outside together, Garou usually shifted onto his "human-persona" so he wont attracts unwanted attention from people. But when he's around Badd's house, Garou just shifted back to his original form or his adaptive form since Badd loves it so much and wants Garou to be comfortable as himself at home.

Fortunately, it seems Badd's neighbourhood was inhabited by chill people. They never questioned further or suspicious about who Garou really is, especially after Zenko purposely introduced him as "her big brother's new boyfriend who just moved in from another city". Badd immediately blushed or flustered everytime they mentioned his "handsome boyfriend", as they also greet Garou warmly and saying that Badd was so lucky to have this gorgeous man as his lover.

Garou persistently asking Badd what is this "boyfriend" supposed to meant and why did Badd always deflecting his genuine questions while being all bright red faced with higher heart rate. Despite never got the answer, Garou likes to tease the cute little spaceman that he adores so much.

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After staying on Earth for months in Badd's home, Garou started to questioning himself.

Garou wondered if his original mission is really worthy or not, because in truth what he had said to Badd about the reason why he comes to Earth is not entirely true.

The real story was, Garou was just wanna visit the Earth for sportmanship and training himself to become the best hunter warrior. He was going to prove the Elites that he is worthy enough to get more superior rank that the one he currently is. That's why he also brought the Young Blood packs along with him to train them once they arrived on the Earth.

Until that accident happened because of a miscalculation: the Xenomorph alien larvaes that supposed to be used on humans, the supposed hosts, for initiation and hunting ritual were infesting his packs when they were still in the middle of their journey towards the Earth. Garou's plan was destroyed spectacularly, he lost all his pack members before he reached their destination. At least on the better side, because of that accident he could meet Badd along the way, so it feels not too bad.

On the other hand for personal fulfillment, he wanted to seek different challenges in another planets to polish his hunting skills and adding new experiences. So, the invasion plan was actually just his secondary mission, in fact it was actually just a bluffing. But it sounds like a more cooler way to threatened Badd back then. 

Not that he ever cares about human civilization and the entire human population in Earth, as he remains indifferent for them and regards them as mere weak prey for hunting sport. But he found out this one particular human is very fascinating to him: Badd. The more he interacted with Badd, the more he gets attached.

Not to mention lately Garou sensed something wrong with himself that only occured everytime they spend time or hanging out together, like there's warm feeling in his chest or sudden protective instinct whenever he is near Badd.

And while Garou considers humans are ugly, for some unknown reason he thinks Badd, in human's expressive language, is "beautiful". Inside his fierce hot-headed appearance, Badd has the kindness and all the sweet personality package in his heart. Which is total opposite with Garou, who is ruthless and cunning. Those contrasts has really melted Garou's own cold heart, surprised that he could managed to find such special human being.

Badd was supposed to be his prey, not a companion. If only Badd were born as the same kind like him, without doubt Garou was 100% sure Badd would be a perfect Warrior partner to fight along with, as he had already seen Badd's remarkable strength as a human. Such the best dream-like scenario ever that will never happens to them, but still very good 'what-if' situation.

The moment Garou saw Badd could kill the Xenomorph aliens alongside him in a combat and capable to defend himself, he respects Badd so much. It made Garou wanted to initiate Badd as one of his kind, a honourable strong Warrior. Or taking Badd with him to train as his personal human Apprentice.

For his bravery and incredible fighting abilities, Garou presented Badd a gift as a sign of respect for him. It was one of his exotic Yautja warrior's weapon collections that he managed to bring along in last expedition: an unbreakable metal bat.

Garou thinks it suited Badd's brawler fighting style, and because the bat made from special metal from his planet it can't be destroyed with anything on Earth. Except if it was smeared with corrosive acidic Xenomorph alien's blood, it would slightly melt. Whoopsie. But anyways, still an honourable thoughtful gift! Garou hopes he can witness the day Badd will using the metal bat in a combat.

Maybe it's not really bad he prolonged his stay on Earth for the sake of Badd and Zenko, although just for a bit. Garou wanted to have more "connection" with Badd before he continued the original plan. He wanted to know more about this special human, always being near him and protected him.

At least before the old man Bang realizing Garou has been missing for awhile after last Xenomorph attack and doing some search party for him by sending reinforcement army towards the Earth. 

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At the same time on his workplace at the Research Organization, Badd was contemplating his life decision.

Badd was thinking why should he still insisted to hide Garou's existence? He could just secretly reported the truth to the Organization behind his back, handed him to them as new research subject and thus ended the Earth's next possible threat.

But that's so wrong!

Just thinking about Garou being treated as a test subject like some lab guinea pig made Badd's blood boil. Not that they can ever catch Garou and managed to survive from him, though, as he knows how strong Garou is. Surely Garou is an extra-terresterial being, but in reality he's not so different from human. There's also alot things that separated him from another Alien species he had encountered before.

Garou has a good heart and moral despite being an asshole sometimes. He's super intelligent and quick to learning something new, willing to cooperate once they're bonded over mutually trust.

Speaking of morality, Garou has better grasp of humanity than most people. Although he is a ruthless warrior, he wont bringing harm to those who are already weak or sickly people, unarmed opponents, childrens, or females especially the pregnant ones. Those are basically the Yautja Clans' Warrior Rules, as they only do fair fights. Badd thinks Garou's own kind are very cultured people, that's cool.

One thing Badd didn't expect before was the fact Garou is kind of "nerdy guy". He thought Garou was a ruthless jock-type warrior who only likes hunting or chaotic things, but in reality he is just the biggest nerd Badd ever known. Garou has always been curious about anything he deemed interesting enough, like human's lifestyle, social classes, education, or even the cuisine. Currently Garou is obsessed with martial arts and his homemade food, also when they're going out together he always asked for buying some fast food preferably with Cola for the drink. Truly an example of alien with unique taste.

The more Garou learned from Badd and observing people around them, the more he understand what human and their "humanity" is, both good side and bad side. Garou said he considered himself on grey area. But he would try to be on the good side, just for Badd.

About Garou's appearance, Badd never got scared of Garou's real form. In fact, he finds Garou in his full warrior armory looks charming and kinda handsome. He had seen Garou in the middle of daily training to sharpen his instincts during his stay at home, surely Garou got a lots of cool fighting techniques and movements, both bare-handed or with weaponry. Truly showing a professional experienced Warrior skills. Or when Garou shifted into the adaptive form so he can spar with Badd more comfortably without really hurting him.

Not to mention his unusually bright golden irises when Garou stares intensely at him, the way Garou tilted his chin up with those long slender clawed hand, that teasing smug grin with those sharp teeth show-off, and those surprisingly soft slicked back spiky white hair..

Yeaah okay, Zenko was totally right about him being into monsters. Fortunately to Badd, she wont and never judges his taste on men.

And Garou is actually a very good friend.. Or maybe more, if only his feeling ever reciprocated. Badd wondered if he could asks Garou to just stay forever on Earth together with him.. 

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Badd was just coming home early in the afternoon from the work, as he only finishing yesterday's home paperworks and delivering it to the office. Time to get some rest after working the whole night filling the mountain pile of papers, Zenko still in school at this hour anyways so he would take a brief nap before picking her up.

Strangely, the house was too quiet. He usually hear some noises from across the room, whether it was Garou watching some tv programs or news or movies, or sneaking around the kitchen as he attempted to raid Badd's fridge contents (nowadays he often found out all the meat stocks or even any of homecooking leftovers in his fridge vanished thanks to Garou's huge appetite).

Badd tried to calling for Garou and checking on his room upstairs but there still no sign of him. He guessed maybe Garou went to their sparring place in the woods, training by himself to polish his hunting skill. Or maybe Garou was lurking on city downtown again?

Badd wished it was the former, he doesn't want Garou to make some trouble with humans when Badd was not with him. Even if Garou indeed goes to town he hoped he just do sightseeing or observing people from afar. Whatever, Badd will take a nap while waiting for Garou.

Just as Badd started to sleep, he heard the bedroom window clicked open suddenly. He immediately jumped out of the bed and grabbing his metal bat, ready to whack anyone who dared to sneak into his house like this. Nothing on sight, though, until some invicible force putting down Badd's metal bat and revealing it was Garou in his "adaptive" form, who just deactivated his invisibility cloak after entering his room from the window.

"Yo Badd!", he grinned widely, happy for successfully surprising Badd again. 

"Oh for fuck's sake Garou, please just use the front door! I already gave you my spare key, right? What if someone sees you and thinks you're a robber- Forget that, you were in invisible mode nobody could ever see you anyways, Mr. Ninja Warrior". Badd flomped down on the bed again, feeling ridiculously tired by Garou's antic yet relieved that his favorite alien is back. "Where did you go?"

Garou sets his knapsack down while explaining his disappearance, "I was so bored doing nothing in your house and my instincts will slowly dulled if I don't practice my routines, so I sneak out to nearby forest hoping to get some good prey for hunting practice. But it seems like Earth's creatures are not challenging enough to become my prey. It's either too small, too tame, too weak, or too pitiful it can't satisfy my hunting urge".

Garou sat beside Badd on the bed and stared at him, "Why can't I fight your people? It would makes alot things more interesting..", he whispered the last sentence with a naughty shit-eating grin on his face.

Badd propped himself up from the bed to grab Garou's arm and pointing his index finger in front of Garou's face, "No, I wont allowed you to do that! No hunting on humans, not on my watch. If you want some fight you can spar with me like what we always do. I'll take you on in a fair fight. Was that still not enough?". Was I'm not enough for you, Badd left it unsaid. He frowned at the though of Garou not satisfied with his effort.

"Ugh, what a let down, I would love to add human skulls on my trophy room when I get back to my planet soon. But your wish is my command, Badd. I promise not doing that for your sake", Garou huffed and rolled his eyes, but his tone softened. "About our sparring, while yes we can still spar with eachother, it doesn't fullfil my hunger for hunt. That's different", he shifted closer to Badd and gazing deeply into his rich dark chocolate eyes.

He continued, "You're not a prey anymore and I hate to see you getting hurt everytime I went overboard in our fights. You're my human companion, I only wish to protect you. But thank you for letting me spar with you every week, it was really fun", Garou touched Badd's forehead, where an initiation mark as fellow Warrior was given by him after their first encounter. Then slowly he put his clawed hand on Badd's cheek, caressing the soft skin gently while looking at Badd with much tenderness.

Badd just averted his eyes from Garou's uncharacteristically tender gaze, face heating from blushing too much as his heart-rate spiked. Of course Garou would know he was flustered by his touching words, he could see it by his vision, by the way. Not that Badd hated to be treated like this, in fact he felt so happy that Garou considered him as a human companion, a "someone special" for Garou.

"Umm yeah you're welcome, then.. Don't worry I know you will never really hurt me. Besides, I'm a tough guy, y'know? I can totally revive through fighting spirit and have another go with you", Badd placed his own hand on top of Garou's, letting the charming alien caress his face more. It's very comforting he loves it when Garou showing some rare affection to him.

They enjoyed the heartwarming moment until suddenly Garou moved away from Badd, "Oh I just remember something! Wait here", he let go his touch on Badd as he rushed to get his knapsack on the floor, picking its content and shoved it in front of Badd's face. "Here I got this for you, accept it!".

It was a flower bouquet. A simple makeshift one, but what made Badd astounished was Garou's choice of flowers: all of them were rare exotic flowers, which only grows on mountain or on the deepest part in forest. All of the flowers were wrapped by a wide green leaf as replacement for plastic wrap ('is that a banana leaf??'), and tied together by a thin rope.

"Wow.. Thanks, Garou, these are very pretty ones", Badd carefully took the beautiful bouquet from Garou's hand, still mesmerized by the exotic colourful flowers. He cradled it close on his chest. "Where and how the hell you get these flowers? I didn't even know that they grow or ever existed around our sparring place??"

Garou scratched his head, "After I got bored by pitiful failed attempt of hunting and start heading back to your house, I saw one kind of wild flower plant growing at hidden small valley near our sparring place. I though you would like it so I took some then continued searching for more wild flowers in the middle of forest until on the top of hills. Worth it for a passing time aside from going hunting", he shrugged like it was no big deal.

"But why?? What's the real reason?", Badd was honestly baffled by Garou's whole effort to flatter him.

"I saw from TV or on the street when we were going outside that you humans like to giving and receiving flower present as, what is that, "courting attempt"? Also you always go 'Aww that was so sweet~" or swooning like a fool everytime you and Zenko watched that scenes in some sappy drama movies. I don't understand why humans feel an enjoyment from getting a reproductive part of plant. Is that something meaningful behind that?", Garou raised his non-existed eyebrows in honest wonderment.

Badd tried to answer him, "Well.. It was--".

Garou continued his rants, effectively cutting Badd's explanation, "On my planet everyone courting their companion with a head or remnants of deadly dangerous prey, showing how great their hunting skills are. The more kill count the better. While your people giving a flower bouquet, a plant, really? You humans are just weird", he was shaking his head.

"So.. You didn't deny that you were courting me, right? You realized what I like and tried to do it for me even though you didn't understand the meaning of it, so that you can make me happy. Was that true, Garou..?", Badd slowly connecting the dots and stated the conclusion to Garou. He clutched the flower bouquet tighter, as once again he feels warmth in his heart. Not expecting the ruthless alien warrior has a soft spot.

So this meant his feeling is reciprocated? Garou feels the same as him? 

"What-- I'm-- Okay, you're right I was! There you have it now. Happy? Damn, this still weird to say..", Garou awkwardly confessed to Badd, not sure what should he says next. If he were in human form at that time, Badd was sure he was flustered heavily.

"Mmhm..", Badd hummed in agreement, as he placed the pretty flower bouquet on the nightstand carefully. Then Badd clung his arms around Garou's neck and pulling him down together with him on the bed, so now Garou was on top of Badd.

"Whoaa what are you doing?!", Garou propped on his elbows not to crush Badd directly with his weight. He wanted to protest but stopped himself when he saw Badd smiling softly full of fondness at him.

From very close distance, Garou could see how Badd's eyes are twinkling and the pinkish blush on his cheeks made Badd looked more prettier than usual. Those are something that made Garou was at lost of words when he tried to describe how beautiful this human is. His own companion.

Without saying anything, Badd released his hold around Garou's neck. He was caressing Garou's jaws and then cupping his face gently, before pulling Garou down towards him to peck his forehead. Looking briefly at Garou's softened eyes, Badd smiling again then finally kissing his lips. It was a light kiss but also a lingering one.

After a minute that feels like eternity, Garou released himself from the kiss and asking Badd in a soft whisper, "What was that for?". Not with the tone of rejection but instead searching for confirmation.

Beside the "human's courting", Garou also had seen this kind of acts on TV dramas or in real life, where a couple of "lovers" touching their lips onto eachother's for the purpose of showing their affection. So, he wanted to know if Badd was also meant it.

"Do y'know, when someone accepting the other's courting attempt, they would hug or kiss them. To show how much they loved and appreciated the other. I was doing the same to you, Garou.. You don't understand how long I was waiting for this moment", the raven-haired human answered while caressing Garou's face, the adoring smile still haven't leaving his face.

"Huh, I guess this proved what Zenko told me weeks ago was right, you have the hots for monster guy", Garou was smirking in victory, glad he was the one who captured Badd's heart.

"Don't be such a bighead, you silly alien warrior", chuckled Badd while he ruffled Garou's spiky hair. "You were the one who fell so hard on me, as far as making me your companion, swore to protect me in the name of warrior honour and do the whole 'weird human courting' for me. While noone ever dared to do the same as you. Admit it, you're a dork".

"What did you say?! A dork?? How dare you--", Garou offended complaint was halted as he processed Badd's entire words. "Wait, you said noone ever trying to court you before? Why? You seems more than average people in appearance or attitude", he showed pure confused look to Badd.

Badd gladly took Garou's appreciation remark before answering, "Have you seen my temper? Or listening on my way of speech? Or knowing my habit on ditching someone for Zenko if I'm not very interested in them? Nobody could handle that, Garou. Maybe except you, you're the only one who ever wanted me..", he pulled Garou down again for more soft kisses.

Garou hummed in their kiss, "Hmm, then it was their loss. For not considering you an amazing person". He swept the wild strands of Badd's hair away from his forehead, peppering kisses on it gently. Garou has learned it from Badd and now he tried to do the same for him.

"Aww thank you, Garou. Besides, I like my man being tall, strong, dangerous, loyal, and have lots of adorable soft spots behind the whole cocky bravado", Badd purred in bliss from Garou's affection.

"Says the one who said he hates skyscraper-like tall man. Which was the truth, hmm, Short-stack?", Garou lifted one of his non-existed eyebrow in amusement. He likes to tease Badd with that endearment term.

"Sssh it was for the public, lemme have my preference in secret. And don't call me a Short-stack, say that once more I'll bash your head using your metal bat gift!", he pushed Garou aside then hit his sternum hard enough before closing his eyes and snuggling his head on Garou's chest.

Garou just let himself being pushed aside while chuckling, "Whoa okay Short-stack, I wont call you with that name again-- Badd?", he found his companion looked sleepy.

"Mmmh lemme take a nap for awhile, there's still 2 more hours before I have to pick Zenko up at her school. Please staaayyy with meee..", Badd slurred the last line from sleepiness, he curled his body against Garou's own big body, snuggled even more closer to him.

Garou just taking Badd into his embrace, made sure his human companion feels comfortable in his sleep. He caressed Badd's soft silky raven hair, "So, are we 'boyfriends' now?".

"Whut are you talkin' 'bout? I already introduced ya as mah 'boyfriend' to our neighbours, right? Always has been..", Badd tried to answer despite getting more sleepier.

"Oh right", Garou nodded at the memory. So Badd was really meant it that way? Glad to know.

Badd purring at Garou's caresses on his head, "Mmhm.. Love ya, Garou". After the unconsciously big declaration of love, he finally went to sleep, peaceful smile still plastered on his beautiful face.

Garou was at lost on words again. He heard the Love word and his mind just exploded. Badd loves him. The human loves him, an extraterrestrial being.

Thinking about it again, is that even allowed? To love someone from different world and different species? He wasn't sure if the Warrior code would let him taking a human as anything else outside as a prey, an apprentice, or a companion.

Honestly this is the first time Garou received a romantic love, not a friendly love or familial love. Because as a warrior who dedicated himself to be the best hunter, romance is not even listed on his priority list. He can't say for other fellow Elites who seek love interests by charmed them with their hunting abilities, but for himself Garou doesn't even interested on that thing back then.

But with Badd? How can he rejects his love, not when this special kind of human is compassionate, wonderful and not to mention worthy of his full respect. Badd is also the only human who doesn't cower in fear in front of him at their first meeting. Even as far telling him that he adores his soft side.

Him, a ruthless hunter, a "monster", was loved by a kindhearted human.

"... I love you, too, Badd."

Garou whispered it softly into Badd's ear, he embraced the sleeping boyfriend's body tighter before following him into the dreamland.

Both were smiling in their sleep.

-----------------------------

-Few months later-

There was another new exploration mission from the Research Organization to obtain alien egg or larvae samples from the same wrecked spaceship on the previous expedition, so they could studying and observing the newfound alien species.

The newest mission was successful as the researchers team bringing the samples with them and be able to come back with minimal casualty. Thus Badd didn't need to join because he is working in rescue team.

At first week, everything was okay according to the plan. It seems the autopsy of larvae samples was successful as the Organization researchers have gotten some new informations from it.

Until an unexpected accidents occured during the second week of research.

The alien eggs samples in the special laboratory room were suddenly hatched and bursting out the new "facehugger" larvaes. Some of the lab staff were infested by it, while the other larvae strays were killed on the spot to prevent any infestation happening on more victims. Therefore the research was cancelled and the lab staff who became its alive hosts were quarantined until further notice.

The higher-ups were tried to keep it down so nobody outside The Organization know about this accidents. All the scientists and other staff members also tirelessly forced themself to solve this emergency situations. They tried to save the victims who currently become the alien's host, as far as preparing extraction operation for them hopefully it will have successful result.

But just a few days after that incident happened, all of the matured embrios inside the alive hosts bursted out from their body when they were still in the middle of intensive body examinations. The victims were died immediately, leaving a bunch of terrifying creatures that emerged from the wounds and crawling out attacking people in the laboratory.

Everyone was shocked by those horrible gorey sight, some of them were panickly calling for help while the others trying to escape from the room but stopped by the juvenile aliens' quick attack. When the security team came to rescue, most people in the room were either already dead from fatal wounds or barely alive still struggling to avoid getting attacked by the creatures.

The team quickly eliminate the rest of juvenile aliens by shooting it all, ensuring it wont leave past the entrance door. After ensuring no more alive aliens detected, they immediately sent the survivors to the hospital while the dead ones were sent to the Organization's morgue.

By this horrifying incident, the Organization executives hold the emergency meeting on that day They discussing how to solve this unexpected catastrophe during the research, how they should tell to the victims' family about the incident, or if this research are really worth it with these casualties. The higher-ups commanded them to call or reaching everyone who were involved on the newest expeditition mission, to make sure if there is nobody else got infested among the crew members.

Someone reported that most of expedition members along with other spaceship passengers on that mission have gone missing for days, and a few of them were found dead at their home with the same wide gaping hole wound on their chest. Two recordings from CCTVs on one dead victim's home clearly showed 3-4 Xenomorph alien younglings that just born or bursted from the victim's body, crawling outside the house towards neighbourhood area.

From those reports and evidences, it was confirmed that the crew members who participated on the newest exploration mission actually contained alive Xenomorph larvaes before they landed back on Earth, and somehow the infestation itself couldn't be detected because it was still on very early stage at that time. By the calculation of every "chestburster" larvaes that would be born into juvenile Xenomorph aliens from the total 30 suspected victims, it could be up to 120 individuals. And one of the juvenile aliens could be the next Queen that will reproducing new batch of eggs on somewhere else right now.

The plan has failed. This accident has shaken the Research Organization to the core as they prepared for worst scenario: the Xenomorph alien has already reproduced and multiplied itself inside or outside the Organization building complex. Not to mention they haven't managed to supervise the suspected victims current whereabouts prior the incident. Thus, as for the first step action to prevent bigger fatalities happens, they alerted all of the Research Organization members.

At home, Badd got the emergency messages from his higher-ups as he also explaining Garou about what was happened at the moment, that there was infestation of Xenomorph aliens among the researchers in the Research Organization. The higher-ups already deployed all of their hunter squads towards several different locations based on victims' last sighting or their home address. The higher-ups also instructed him to join the hunter squad for outside building complex area or near the suburban area to search the rogue Xenomorph aliens or at least for any survived suspected victims.

Garou suggested that he will also doing the hunt with Badd as it's the Warrior's duty to banish those alien species' existence, as it was their main prey. He asked Badd to always stay near him during the hunt so he wont get hurt by those beasts. Garou promised Badd that he will protect him, no matter what. But he wont promised to do the same for the others, no guaranteed he will helped them. Mostly they will be on their own. 

Both had agreed to eachother, they set their own combat gears. Garou wore his warrior armor and brought all his hunting weapons. Badd also did his part, not forgetting to bring Garou's metal bat gift, he couldn't wait to finally trying it out to smash those aliens' head off. He strapped it on his backpack, shoving all of other combat equipments on his car trunk, then driving his car out along with Garou towards their destination.

Before they go to the mission location, Badd dropping Zenko first to their neighbour family house to make sure someone watching over her and keeping her safe during dangerous situation. Garou shifted into invisible stealthy mode on their way to the squad assembly point, secretly blending with the rest of Badd's hunter squad members.

They started to investigate the forest near the suburban area which was previously has been reported for most recent Xenomorph alien sighting.

----- ⭐To Be Continued⭐ -----

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Notes:

So I made this headcanon because I had a dream which was strangely similar like the movie's plot, although not exactly same. Still don't know why and how I got that kind of dream since I haven't watch the movie again for so long 😅

The dream was about where I was accidentally saving the Queen of Xenomorph who infested my friend and took control of her mind, then turned out I must ensured the Queen's next survival 😱😰

But the difference between my dream and this Batarou AU is that I met a Queen of Xenomorph alien, while in the AU story Badd met one of Yautja warriors as I've decided to make Garou as The Predator instead. I thought it would be cooler than him being a Xenomorph alien, lmao! ✌😁

Coincidentally, besides getting an inspiration from my own dream, this AU especially for Garou as Predator also inspired by the fact we getting his Awakened Monster form from Murata 😳✨

Combining both the ideas, his Murata-styled Monster form and the amazing Predator figure appearance, WHAM, we got badass concept of Predator Warrior Garou! 👏👏😤

By the way, because I've made Predator Garou and his entire clans can do some shapeshifting as the more advanced hunting skill, he has 3 forms in this story:

1. Original form:

Exactly like the Predator in the movie, but the differences are the hairstyle, body build, and the ability to speak human language. Instead of dreadlocks, his hair is swept-back long spiky white hair. His body is more on slender-built than buff as Garou is an agile-type warrior, but he is so much taller than his canon-self, approximally 200 cm, unless he was shapeshifting into another form. He can speak human language in original form, but a little bit difficult to do it because of his mouth's structure so whatever he spouted when he talks would sounds like either growling or hissing. 

It's Garou's default form when he was among his own kind. Showed this form the first time he met Badd in rescue ship to threatened him (but failed as Badd didn't afraid of him at all), or when he was facing off some Xenomorph aliens in combat during the research organization's incident catastrophe.

When Garou revealed himself in front of the Organization executives at the next part (spoiler!), he refused to show his true face as they aren't worthy enough to see it, unlike Badd and Zenko. Hence he only shifted into adaptive form at that moment before Badd comes to defend him.

2. Adaptive form:

After living together with Badd for months, he has adapted into a new hybrid form, a mix between his own original Yautja form and human form. The result is like Monster Garou in Murata's style! No more arthropod-like mandibles with tusks, but instead human-like jaws with rows of sharp teeth and fangs (just imagine it like Murata's Awakened Garou). His hair is just like his canon-self with the iconic long horns-like spiky white hair, but at some point Badd cuts his hair shorter for more easier maintenance, so it now looks like Awakened Garou with short hair-style.

Mostly Garou showed this adaptive form when he was around Badd and Zenko at home. He knows Badd likes it so much thus alot of teasing, so he decided to make this adaptive form as a new default appearance during his stay on Earth. More practical to use as he doesn't do much hunting at that time, also the new set of jaws makes him easier to communicate by human language with Badd without his tech-armor helmet mask.

In this form, Garou still in his super tall self even though the height can vary around 185-190 cm, depends on the situation, ex: sleeping as he's a big boy Badd's bed or couch wont fit, so he'd shrink a bit. Sometimes Garou and Badd would spar at their secret place in the middle of woods using this form.

Despite the adaptive form is not quite suitable for hunting strong prey like Xenomorph aliens, Garou prefers to use it whenever he was training with Badd. Also, he can kiss Badd while in this form. Actually even more easier when he was in human form, it's just Badd loves this form more. Don't kinkshame Badd, he is one of monsterfucker, lmao. 

3. Human form:

Because he has shapeshifting ability, Garou can create his "human persona" everytime he blends into human crowds, especially when Badd asked Garou to go outside with him, occasionally also along with Zenko. Exactly like Garou in canon, but now with short-hairstyle as Badd said it suits him more. Garou interpreted it as a way to say "You look more handsome" but denied profusely by Badd.

He still maintained his lean-muscled physique like his other forms, but Garou shrink his height down into 177 cm because not only being too tall would catch many attention from people (Garou: "It's not my fault you all humans are just so goddamned short!"), Badd hated it when he was being towered by his own "boyfriend" when they're walking together in public. Although Badd accepted his tall monstrous height when they're only with eachother.

Badd's neighbours were successfully charmed by this "camouflage" appearance, Garou in a very cocky way tried it on Badd but it seems Badd only tolerates Garou's human form. Honestly, Badd loves his adaptive form as it shows Garou's own will to connect more with Badd while still maintained personal aspects of himself. Badd also totally didn't mind his original form as it was Garou's true face, and to be shown the real Warrior's face behind the mask is a great honour for Badd.

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I just remember that I've been in Batarou fandom for a whole year since January 2020, so you can think this headcanon AU as a new year gift and a thankful gift for the fandom 😆😚🎂🎁🎉🎊

Special thanks for:

🌸 @kaincuro​ and @the-goddessfighter​

Thank you so much for being huge inspirations! You guys introduced me about the beautiful side of Batarou ship via your awesome blogs and encourage me to also participating by sharing ideas to the fandom. Because of you, I managed to stay in this fandom for 1 year full despite 2020 being a hard year.

Thank you Cain, for being a wonderful person and providing us the Good Quality™ Batarou contents, both headcanons and arts! Whenever I'm on bad days and want to read Batarou stuff, I always go to your blog, it never fails to makes me feels alot better! Seeing your fluffy Batarou drawings and your amazing explanation on headcanon about them are absolute mood booster, it really helped me going through my hard days, seriously. So I wanna thank you from the deepest pit of my heart, because of you I could passed a difficult year more easier.

Please keep running your amazing blog, you're great and we love you! 😉👍❤🌸

Thank you Temperans-sama, for being one of greatest Batarou artists I've ever known in the OPM fandom and for your dedication on always working hard making many beautiful Batarou drawings to deliver to the fandom! Everything you've made are PERFECTION, really a God-tier artstyle. Not to mention your Batarou art always the Softest and Fluffiest! 😚👌💖💖

Thank you for kindheartedly willing to listening my super random headcanons or AUs, even as far liking it and drawing the illustrations for it, all of the arts are magnificent I'm so grateful for that AAAAA thank youuuu- *sobbing happily* 😭🙏💕💖 I feel so happy for being able to talk and sharing ideas with an incredible artist like you waaah THANK YOUUU!! Please accept my promised thankful gift for this year, I hope you like it 😚💕🎁♥

Biggest respect, support, and neverending love for you~ 😘❤💜💙💖💝💐👏

🌸 @lovelybutnot-ablankcanvas​ and @guby1620​

You guys are such very good friends during my stay in the Batarou fandom throughout the year, thaaaank youuu! Both of you deserved the best! *hugs tightly and never let go*

Thank you Eir, for being one of the most talented Batarou fanfic writers and most supportive understanding friend! I feel blessed to ever know you through your first Batarou fic a year ago, I still remember being one of your first reviewer and we shared alot of new ideas or random stuff. Now you already become a multitalented artist on both as fic writer and art drawing I'm so proud of you! 👏👏😤✨

Also, thank you for writing so many Batarou fic gifts last year, all of them are my favorite stories until now I really appreciate them! Keep being awesome, Eir, and yes you have my endless supports~ 😉💖✨

Thank you Ruby, for being a very talented Batarou artist with the most loveliest artsyle and I really admired you for that! You always have fluffiest ideas for arts and I love your handsome Garou + adorably sweet Badd drawings. I always enjoyed our interactions whenever we talk about our HCs, you're very easygoing and fun person to talk with, also you always successfully cheer me up with your cutest Batarou art 😉👍💯✨

I should thank you for liking my AU stories, even making one of them into a Doujin THANK YOU SO MUCH I didn't expected you would included the Reincarnated Demon/Angel AU into your long project I feel both grateful and honoured AAAA THANKS A LOT! *died from happiness* 😭💞💖💝

Undying supports and greatest appreciation for youuu, Ruby! I will always waiting for your new creations 👏💝🌸🌻💐

🌸 @garous-nipple​

I wanna say thank you for being one of the most talented Garou-centric fanartists in the fandom, you're amazing and I always love seeing your progress on evolving your artstyle throughout the time. You have great drawing skill and trust me you have already on the path to become next Murata! May this year will becomes Garou year as his inevitable comeback in the manga is near, so you will get loads of new art inspirations 😤👍💯🌟

Thanks alot for always accepting my requests or art idea suggestions! You absolutely deserved all of the best appreciation for your hardworks, we the OPM fandom are loving you 😉👌💖

I hope you enjoyed Garou's "the Predator" concept design headcanon as a humble new year gift from me 😆💝🎁🎉

And lastly for special mention:

🌸 @himbo-in-limbo​

I know we haven't interacted yet, but knowing that you love both Garou and AvP after stumbling into your lovely blog, I've decided to include you, too! As someone who only saw AvP once and not too familiar with the story, I honestly kinda embarassed of myself and afraid if my headcanon wont makes any sense so I apologized if there's alot mistakes and inaccuracy in here or if it's too OOC, please forgive me 🙇💦

I realized it's not perfect but I hope you like my concept design of Garou being a Yautja! Also sorry for the Batarou hints I hope you wouldn't really mind about it 😅😉💕💝🎁

(btw, all of your OCs are fantastic and very thoughtful-made! ❤)

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Once again I'm so sorry if my writing sucks, I wanted to share the idea but I don't have good writing skill at all please forgive me.. 😭🙇

I hope I can continue for the second part which is also the last part, it's currently on 1/4 way of completion. I'm currently stuck on the action scene why does it so hard to write battle scenes heeeelpp! 😫💦

So please wait for me, yeah? Wish me luck I could finished the story 😅🙏

Thank you so much, we will see again on the final part! 💖

-Little1993lamb-

-------------------------------

Temperans:

Anon! Thank you very much for sharing another fantastic fic for this fandom! Sorry for taking time to post it here. You know? My vacation will be over soon and I'm getting ready for TuT school

I would like to have dreams as interesting as yours, I hardly dream anymore, and it is nice that you can capture an idea from that. Honestly I've been a bit off these days, I miss our guys a lot and the way the webcomic is unfolding really distresses me (I'm so scared for Badd X'C). But your fic lifts my spirits every time I read it! So I wanted to reward your hard work with a drawing. I really like H. R. Giger's art and I tried to give that vibe to my art (I tried X'D). Thank you anon for always being there to support the fandom unconditionally! I hope you have a better year and health! 😘❤💜💙💖💝

[prince-of-elsinore]

On the Weechesters that could have been

Or, Supernatural has a flashback problem

So, I've been thinking a lot about Dean's confession ("I didn't know what I would've done if I didn't have you," "it was always you and me") and how it shapes my view of season one and my pre-series headcanons. On the one hand, it really only confirms what we could already infer, but on the other, it enshrines as canon, beyond a doubt, just how big a deal the events of the pilot were to Dean, how much he wanted and needed Sam in his life. Meaning Dean already knew back then that Sam was it for him. It's possible he didn't fully examine or accept this until after Sam had left, but either way, the groundwork for that need was laid in their childhood. Despite various complaints Dean has voiced over the years (either jokingly or seriously) about having to look after Sam, all he wanted at 26 was to have his brother at his side again, and that could only arise from true affection and attachment--and yeah, an unhealthy dose of codependency.

And we know the affection and codependency run both ways, even if it wasn't as explicitly stated on Sam's part, especially in season one. Personally, I trust Jared Padalecki to understand Sam best, and he's said that Sam's happiest moment was committing to getting back on the road with his brother--despite the fact that back then, Sam's assumption was that he would return to his normal life after they found Jess's killer. Jared has also said something to the effect of "Sam loved his father and brother so much he had to leave" which definitely reframes his decision to go to Stanford--because of, rather than in spite of, his love. How to make sense of these statements? They only track if Sam really is just as smitten (in the platonic sense) as Dean. In spite of whatever resentment he had towards Dean, he loved him (keep in mind, the deeper the love, the deeper the potential resentment) and, importantly, liked him, and was intrinsically tangled up in him. Everything Sam does and says makes perfect sense if you accept that Sam loved his family, but hated hunting. Of course he's upset that the father and brother he loves and needs go out and risk their lives all the time. He's right to be. And of course he would be especially upset that his brother doesn't even try to imagine a different life for himself, that he takes their father's word as law despite the damage it does to Dean. And, when Sam finally does leave, it hurts him that Dean doesn't try to understand his decision because it would shake Dean to his foundations to consider that Sam might be right, let alone to consider following him out of the life (as I believe Sam would have preferred, though he probably knew it was a lost cause). Dean can only see it as Sam abandoning him, even though for Sam it was always about leaving hunting, never about leaving his brother. Sam wanted nothing more than his brother on his side, by his side, and it broke his heart when Dean seemed to choose John over Sam. The tragedy of the Stanford split is that Sam and Dean each thought their worst fear was confirmed--for Dean, that Sam didn't need him, and for Sam, that Dean hated him--even though this really wasn't the case.

So, why this digression about the old Stanford grievance and the boys' headspaces in the pilot? Because I wish so much we got to see how they got there--and the flashback episodes, for the most part, do not show us. In fact, there's a frustrating pattern of flashbacks that don't really corroborate this textually-supported characterization of young Sam and Dean. Almost universally, the flashbacks concentrate on the brothers in isolation from each other, either physically or emotionally (or both). That's not to say that they're all bad episodes or that they don't reveal other important information about Sam and Dean. It does, however, give an overall skewed impression of their "normal" as kids, and presents something of a paradox in considering the Winchesters' childhood. We see, textually, that the brothers must have been extremely attached to each other growing up, beyond just Dean's sense of duty to look after Sammy (which is hammered home again and again, and again...), but this isn't the impression most flashbacks give. Let's take a closer look:

1x18 Something Wicked--Sam is too young to be much of player. It's all about Dean and his sacrifices/responsibility for Sam--all important stuff, but aside from Sam offering Dean the prize in the cereal box, there isn't much evidence of actual affection between them. Dean appears only put upon--fair enough for a young kid given such (way too much!) responsibility, but it's to the complete exclusion of any potential positive emotion, even fondness, for Sam.

3x08 A Very Supernatural Christmas--This flashback is the exception, and it's why it's my favorite! This was a crucial moment for the brothers in their young lives, when they chose each other over anyone else. Sam trusts Dean, not his father. Dean tries to put on a nice Christmas for Sam because he feels it's his job, yes, but he then experiences genuine gratitude when Sam gives him the pendant. They lean on each other. They comfort each other. In short, we see the why and the how of their relationship. I wish every flashback accomplished what this one does.

4x13 After School Special--The focus is mostly on Sam and his relationship with Barry and that English teacher, with a big emphasis on Sam's dissatisfaction with his life. That's super important, but I can't think of any moment between Sam and Dean that reads like anything other than pretty average brothers... which they are decidedly not. The episode drives home the diverging desires of the brothers more than anything.

5x16 Dark Side of the Moon--Not strictly a flashback episode, but we do glimpse important memories in Sam and Dean's heaven. Dean's 4th of July memory is iconic for a reason--it's one of those rare moments we really see why these brothers feel the way they do about each other. They're having actual fun together--the only time we get to see young Winchesters doing that! We all know which of Sam's memories were in heaven, though, and how that made Dean feel. Now, it makes sense that Sam would cherish moments when he was getting away from The Life, but the fact that the writers again chose to prioritize this (beat a dead horse, one could say), over showing a single good memory Sam had of the family he supposedly (actually, really!) loves, feels wrong and motivated solely by the plot's need for more artificial brother drama. Could anyone really blame a casual viewer for believing that Sam doesn't love his brother as much as Dean loves him? And yes, one can make excuses--Sam probably had lots of heaven memories of Dean that weren't shown! Zachariah was messing with them!--but it's still on the writers to make that clear.

5x23 Swan Song--I'm including this one for the flashes we get of little Sam and Dean in the Impala. These are beautiful moments, but it amounts to telling, not showing: we get toy soldiers and legos, and a brief shot of Sam and Dean carving their initials. What we don't see is the impetus behind that action. We are essentially told how to feel about these things. (Don't get me wrong, I think it's still a really well done episode and I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel exactly what it wanted me to feel--I'm just pointing out a pattern.)

7x03 The Girl Next Door--Dean is only present as a voice on the other end of a phone call (do we even hear him? Can't remember. Don't think so). Oh, and Sam has doubts, yet again, about hunting monsters. Hm, I think we've been here before. Sam has an instant connection with a girl he just met and he seems ready to put her before his family. I get that he doesn't want her to die, which is sympathetic. But again, one would be forgiven for thinking he does not care about--or even actively hates--both John and Dean. Maybe he does hate them a little bit in this moment, and wouldn't that be interesting to explore? (Cue Jared saying Sam had to leave because he loved John and Dean so much! He couldn't stand the thought of it all turning to resentment! It makes so much sense!) But, alas, the episode just doesn't go there.

9x07 Bad Boys--This time it's the Dean show, and we get to see Dean finding happiness away from his family, even if he needs some time to warm to the apple pie life. Okay, cool to know this about Dean. And the moment at the end is interesting, and gratifying for brothers fans, since Dean doesn't seem pulled back out of a mere sense of grudging obligation to Sam--he gives such a genuine, loving smile when he sees him. He wants to go back to Sam. But it's just a gesture, telling rather than showing again. We don't know why Sam makes him feel that way.

11x08 Just My Imagination--The only brother interaction, over the phone, doesn't reveal much about how the brothers feel about each other, though it does hint that Dean would ultimately come down on their father's side when John and Sam were at odds. Dean asks John, on Sam's request, to bring Sam along on a hunt, but he doesn't press the issue when John refuses. If anything, this leaves me more curious than ever about what the good in their relationship looked like, if Sam was so often disappointed by Dean's kowtowing to their father.

Sully seems a bit like English Teacher 2.0, encouraging young Sam to figure out what he wants for himself and reject the family business. I think it's quite well done and sweet, actually, and it's nice that in the end Sully actually thanks adult Dean for looking after Sam (how rare for anyone to acknowledge that), and Dean likewise comes to appreciate Sully. In the flashbacks, we learn that Sam was eager to join in hunts when he was little, which is interesting and sad when you think about how that changed. Already, though, he must feel pretty ambivalent, because he's seriously considering running away at the same time. Ultimately, Sam chooses his family--articulating that what he wants is to be with his dad and Dean--and rejects Sully's message of self-determination. He makes the decision that may not be best for him, but he's motivated by love. It seems in character, and hints at the claustrophobic pull of the Winchester family. Yet again, though, we are left to fill in the blanks ourselves about why Sam wants to be with his dad and Dean. In fact, the motivations for his two apparently conflicting desires--to stay or run away--are never very clearly laid out. We don't know what, specifically, Sam doesn't like about the hunting life, when part of him also wants to hunt, and we don't know what it is about his family--what good memories, desires, or needs--that draws him back to it.

15x16 Drag Me Away (From You)--It's unfortunate that the young actors had no chemistry whatsoever, but the script also didn't do them any favors as far as displaying their dynamic. Dean has a moment of vulnerability (if you squint) over Sam thinking about college, but aside from that, it's almost amazing how little the brothers interact, given that they're staying in a motel together, on their own. What a missed opportunity. Can you imagine if the episode had focused even a little more on Sam and Dean, rather than on their interactions with those other random kids? If it had given us just a fraction of the relationship "A Very Supernatural Christmas" managed to show in such an understated, poignant way? You wouldn't know these brothers liked or loved each other from this episode. When Dean said "We made a good team" I was honestly baffled because they barely did anything together. You could argue Dean was reaching with that statement because he was desperate, but again, there's nothing actually shown to back that up.

Ultimately, what these flashbacks show can all be true--it doesn't negate what we know about Sam and Dean from the show's present. Of course, like any brothers, they teased and annoyed the hell out of each other. Of course they had vastly diverging desires for themselves and their lives--that's sort of the premise of the show and characters in the early seasons. These aspects of their relationship are true, but these aspects are not the whole story, which is why it's frustrating that almost every flashback focuses exclusively on these things. From the flashbacks alone, you might think Dean is only about "protect Sammy" (and later, "order Sammy around") and Sam is only about "I hate my life (and by extension, family)." Most of us could tell all along--and the finale confirms--that there's another story underneath this one, though, of two brothers who are soulmates, destined to find each other like magnets again and again.

But this requires the astute viewer to do a lot of legwork in characterizing the brothers' childhood dynamic beyond what's shown--partly as a result of some logistical and practical issues (especially with child actors), to be sure, but mostly of lazy writing. There's a difference between respecting your audience's intelligence enough not to spoon-feed them every detail, and expecting them to pick up the slack and make excuses when your characterization and plotting is inconsistent or one-note. This is far from the most egregious example of this in Supernatural, but the finale had me thinking more closely about what is canon for the pre-series era, and it drove home how much it applies to the flashbacks.

So what would I have liked to have seen? What it comes down to is interaction between the brothers. The only flashback where we have both brothers in equal focus, interacting with each other rather than outside characters, is "A Very Supernatural Christmas." It's impossible to show the progression and significance of a relationship when you consistently show only one side of it at a time (or don't even focus on said relationship when both parties are in the same room--looking at you, 15x16). Sam and Dean are the heart of the show, and they should have--together--been the heart of the majority of flashbacks. It's not that Sam wasn't a lonely kid, but as Dean says to Sam in "Just My Imagination": "You had me!" Of course, Dean's memory is skewed--he isn't thinking about all the times he went off with John on a hunt and left Sam behind, and hell, even when Dean was supposed to be babysitting, we know from "Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie" that he sometimes dumped Sam. But I can't believe that Dean is totally wrong, either. Sam and Dean must have been each other's best--only--friends, living the life they did. What we see rarely looks like friendship, and it certainly doesn't track as a basis for the codependency we see in the series present, starting with the pilot. That didn't come from nowhere, though.

I would have loved to have seen that first hunt Sam went on in Milwaukee, after he left Sully. I would have loved to have seen Dean, proud of his little brother becoming a hunter. Or Dean, looking out for Sam on a hunt (and treating Sam's peril like a bigger deal than he does in 15x16, where it barely phases him). I wish I'd seen the moment that made Sam reject a future as a hunter, after his initial excitement. Did something happen on a hunt? Was it the violence of it? The brutality against a monster with a human face? Or the peril? Was there a moment when Sam's life was in danger? Or perhaps, a moment when John's or Dean's was, that scared Sam even more? I wish I'd seen Sam grappling with how leaving hunting would mean leaving the family he loves. I wish I'd seen him mention it to Dean, try just once to convince him to try a different life, and get shot down. I wish I'd seen more of the Dean who wants to give Sammy the world, struggling with the increasingly impossible task of balancing Sam's wants and needs with John's orders. Dean, caught in the middle of their arguments and torn apart by it. Sam, hurt when Dean doesn't back him up. Dean, terrified that Sam might actually follow through with that college pipe dream. Perhaps all of this would have been indulgent (not to mention difficult to film, with the right child actors and JDM), but even part of it would have allowed for some nuanced characterization.

More than anything, though, I would have liked to have seen a few more of the good memories, because they are actually important to understanding the characters and the story. It's not about fluff; it's about showing rather than telling. What are the good memories that made Sam love Dean and even his dad? Sam's anger towards their father is all the more compelling and believable if there is a fierce love underneath the layers of resentment and betrayal. And you know what's even more sad than a kid whose dad didn't make it home for X occasion? A kid whose dad did come home, just once, and the kid who enshrines that one perfect memory because they don't realize how messed up it is that it's such a rarity. Or, if it wasn't John making it home for one holiday, maybe it was the one time Sam remembers getting John's approval in some way--it could be any number of small things. The good that a character holds onto, no matter how small a scrap, says a lot about them. And the same goes for Sam and Dean. Where was Sam the social outcast, wanting but struggling to fit in, grateful that at least he doesn't have to put on a pretense of normality around his brother? Dean, feeling the same, though he'd never admit it? Dean, talking Sam up rather than tearing him down? How they felt safe, comfortable, only with each other? Even if they both had to act a certain way to earn the other's approval or admiration, that act must have felt worth it for the reward. Where was the Sam that looked up to and tried to emulate Dean, and the Dean that cherished that more than anything? Where were the moments of fun, the contentment Dean felt when he managed to put a smile on Sammy's face? The small acts of rebellion that united them, however briefly, against both their father and the world? The fireworks scene has to do so much heavy lifting all on its own, in the face of all the flashbacks that repeatedly give the opposite impression.

People are complex, of course, and we're fortunate to have two such complex characters as Sam and Dean. Both the good and the bad of their childhood, and their relationship with each other, are true, but the writers chose to emphasize one side much more than the other when it came to the flashbacks. As much as I'm a believer in the power of the audience's imagination and of transformative works, it is still up to the writers to guide that imagination in a certain way. Unfortunately, in the case of the flashbacks, that guidance is off-track and unbalanced at best, and negligent misguidance at worst. The story of Sam and Dean only makes sense with a more balanced picture. It only works if it really is about two brothers who love each other more than anything. It only makes sense if there's much more to their childhood relationship than we were shown. Now that the series is over, we won't be getting any more flashbacks (unless prequel series? Unlikely haha), so we're left to fill in these gaping blanks on our own. At least the finale gave us some good crumbs to work with.

[a-d-alison]

"Is that a suggestion?"

Warning: The text has been translated by an amateur, so you can occur mistakes. Enjoy the reading.

She was really embarrassed, because Jesse was showing open attention. MC has always been polite with all, so she didn't expect, that usual politeness and kindness was detected as trying to get closer. Not like friends.

When, after the end of the investigation, MC met with the whole company in the Aurora, she could hardly restrain her candid glances towards the attractive bartender, with whom communication had long ago moved to the level of flirting.

She held back her eyes because it seems that Jessie looked at the MC almost always, cherishing almost every word that flew out of her mouth.

Say to in love - and there was no doubt about it, because the lack of reaction to the elevated signs of attention of others said only this - the girl about MC had unequivocal feelings for Phil, it seemed an unrealistic task for her. After all, Jessie did nothing wrong to neglect her feelings of open indifference.

MC tried to be polite. As with all the loyal, not throwing words in the wind and saving other people's feelings, even if it played awkwardness in the back of her mind.

"Listen, why don't we repeat our date in reality?" - after the general meeting says Jesse, and the MC catches her breath, but not from pleasant excitement, and from the fact that the question literally blocked the air. On the one hand, there was a refusal, frankness, which the MC wanted to give her, but on the other hand there was a desire to cool interest gradually, without throwing sand on the fire, that broke out in the soul of a friend.

And the MC planned to make a joke, to translate the topic, to do anything, just don't answer the question. And MC, honestly, had already opened her mouth to realize her plan, but shuddered, suddenly feeling through the fabric of someone's wide palms. And to hear the voice of the impudent turned out before you look into the eyes.

"Sorry, Jess, busy girls don't go on dates" - Phil leads with her shoulder, not regretting how cruelly sounded words, finally full of honesty, and not a beautiful lie, which, like a nightingale, hummed MC in the ear of a loving Jessica.

And the girl sees that it was not a flirtation on the part of Phil, and quite a specific phrase, because the hand of his brother so in a host way lies on someone else's waist, because the MC does not push him away, and, albeit a little insecure, but hugs Phil in return. Jesse seems like the world for a second loses colors, and then, pulling a smile, she pretends that she's not hurts at all, picks up things and rushes out of the institution, leaving his beloved to his brother, retreating in intentions.

And the MC, it seems, is only able to exhale lightly, because the lie went long-awaited cracks, collapsing from the shock wave of words of the guy who presses the girl closer.

"It was fun to watch you all evening" Phil looks around the still empty bar, picks up his companion's bag and pulls it along to the bar.

"You didn't look away from me" MC playfully raises an eyebrow, because she can afford to flirt, from which - but it would be better not - blushed the tips of the ears hidden behind black curls.

"That's right," Phil admits. He even during their first meeting admitted that he was openly seduced by the degree of charm of the girl opposite. Moreover, he is doubly seduced with shaking her eyelashes. Her eyes hold the way from thin lips to hidden behind the gate turtleneck tattoo.

Phil meets every look that comes in the back of the MC, which recognized by everyone in Duskwood. He initially did not approve of leaking so much personal data to the general public, so he became more convinced that the company of his sister was frankly disgustingly brought up.

And the MC, it seems, does not notice the unkind glances on the back of her head, because to the full fire remains quite a bit - just a couple of actions, crossing that line of simple flirtation. And this can be seen from the woman's interest, directed only at him and his actions.

Very soon there was closure, so that they could afford a one-on-one conversation without prying ears, coming from only a couple of chairs from the MC.

Phil answered the questions hanging between them about the Duskwood band, from which he frankly advised to stay away. And on each advice the MC shrugged, not answering a word.

"What about you?" asks the girl, leaning closer, and it seems that Phil noticed an ambiguous gleam in the eyes of the interlocutor. He deliberately repeats her previous gesture, shrugging his shoulders, and notices the MS rolls blue eyes, although the smile blossoms even more on her lips.

"And what about me?" Phil speaks as if he don't know how he is characterized by everyone in the company. This was unsurprising, given how he refuses to forgive the folly of his younger sister, sometimes forgetting things like "consequences."

"They say, you are a womanizer and a mere scoundrel" for the sake of drama MC for a second makes shocked eyes, in a second grinning, all his kind showing that she, in fact, doesn't care what others say there.

"If everything people say was true, you'd be a busy girl," Phil puts a dried glass in place, leaning on the bar. The last customer had just left the establishment, leaving them alone, warming the atmosphere around with sparkling glances.

"Busy with you?" she asks, and he looks into the half-closed eyes, lingers with the answer, deliberately looks over the pale neck, hearing the companion's grin.

"Is that a suggestion?" Phil translates the arrows, although between them such questions have long been purely rhetorical. Purely formal. Purely bogus.

"Maybe" MC rises, approaches Phil, finally doing what she thought throughout the evening. Breaks the kiss, sits back, thinks only a second "But this is invitation" Phil looks at the girl, grinning.

Yes, they're definitely going to have more dates.

[my-soul-sings]

Hey there! I just binge-read "Believe Again" and absolutely loved it! Very well-written and charming! I do have a question about the ending: what were your thoughts as you were writing it? To me, it seemed like two endings in one. Thanks again for a lovely fic with great characterization!

aaaa thank you so much for reading it!!!! :)) I saw your comment on AO3 and im pleasantly surprised to see you here on tumblr :) 

Ooo could you elaborate on what you mean by seeing it as two endings in one? :OO I’m so curious to know how you interpreted it hehe. 

As for my thoughts while writing the ending... hmm well tbh I actually had a very different ending in mind when I first started writing this story, so when I was writing the last chapter I didn’t even know it would be the last chapter until it was finished HAHA. The characters’ emotions just kinda took me there. 

To sum it up, it wasn’t a perfect ending. I wanted the ending to left open in the sense that there are still many things left to be fixed and sorted out between them—the secrets that he’s kept from her until now to protect both of them, how they’re going to handle the long distance, how they’re going to move forward considering his past, etc. 

I also wanted to juxtapose the ending with the beginning. At the start it was all innocent and even sort of fairy tale-like. The reader character seemed to be the kind of person who might love Saeran unconditionally since she’s willing to look beyond his past to see him as he is now, and she’s persistent in trying to get closer to him too. So tbh my initial plan for the ending actually had the reunion being purely warm, happy fluff, with the “I miss you”s and the “Don’t leave me again” sort of rhetoric. And I thought that maybe some people might expect that too, considering how this story started off. 

But things can’t possibly be the same after everything that happened. Life isn’t a fairy tale, scars and wounds are things that are very real and I wanted the ending to reflect that. These are very difficult issues and emotions that the characters have to grapple with — and beyond the ending you can imagine that they have so much more to work out, which is going to take a lot of effort on both ends. Mere feelings and being attracted to each other isn’t nearly enough for this relationship to work. 

But that’s exactly how it is in real life, right? There are always issues left to be fixed, sometimes they’re never fixed and you just have to decide whether you can or want to love the other person in spite of that or break it off. 

One thing I didn’t expect to write about was Saeran doing to the reader exactly what he had hated Saeyoung for — leaving him behind without saying anything, even though Saeyoung did it only to protect him. It just kind of happened while writing, and then I realised ooooo neat this comes full circle HAHA. 

So yup these were my thoughts as I wrote the ending. :) Thanks for sending this ask! I didn’t properly sit down to articulate all this before so this was very fun to reflect on and think about. <3 I’d love to hear how you interpreted the ending though! :D 

[patricia-von-arundel]

A World on Its Side: Prologue - A Temporary Sanctuary; Strange Smiles

Art by @zaaschila​

An anon sent this what-if:  What if: Jeralt's mercenaries was in actuality not a mere mercenary group, but one with more organization and it has its own squad section that acted in the shadows like spies or infiltrator. What if: they received a request that ended up with them secretly raided the place where El and her siblings were experimented on? (I'll leave the number of survivors to you) What if: they rescued the kids and disguised them, raising them along with Byleth in the merc group?

I opted to keep Jeralt as a mercenary, and then, well... 

Before I start the story, I’m going to explain some of my thought process in how I wrote it, and then of what I’m concerned about with it. I would really, really appreciate feedback as to whether this particular style seems to be working, or if I goofed it and should scrap it and start over using a more traditional story format. This is just part 1 - I didn’t intend for it to get this long (shocker, I know), and we’re just getting to where the action starts, despite the format being an attempt to keep it short and sweet. So, uh... yeah. Under the cut, some info/thoughts.

This was initially just going to be Edelgard being rescued through meeting Byleth and training as a mercenary, but then I wondered what would happen if they somehow eventually wound up at the monastery anyway (bear with me when I haven’t given the reasons for that chain of events yet - I do have a chain, I promise), and then it became... well, I don’t want to spoil everything, but there’s more. And then it was the usual “well, shit” moment of realizing I didn’t have a drabble, I had this whole, stupid story. With inconvenient nonsense like a plot. 

...Bother. 

So what I wanted to try to do, to keep it as short as possible (ha!), was write it in more a... well, not a comic-book format, obviously, but as if it was, or perhaps a serialized pulp kind of story, since the whole “what-if” thought came from my love of the Marvel “What If?” comics I read as a kid. Not a whole lot of introspection or exposition in here, just action and movement from one scene to the next. No room for lollygagging in the mind. 

And I think that worked broadly, but what I’m concerned about is that it muzzled Edelgard. Especially since she doesn’t have a lot of chance to show her anger and her pain without introspection, because she almost never talks about it. She felt to me at risk of losing her bite - and of getting over what happened to her too quickly. And that’s the last thing I want, because without those parts of her, she’s no longer, following the canon scenario of her childhood, Edelgard. It can be argued that a certain degree of softness might be acceptable if she was in the hands of Jeralt after the experiments rather than (I assume?) Hubert and Thales/”Arundel,” but I still worry that it becomes too much. Or that when the darkness in her does surface here and there, it rings false, because nothing else in the text supports it. I shouldn’t rely on readers’ knowledge of that side of her. That’s sloppy writing and bad characterization. 

I also doubt Edelgard was still being experimented on this late in her life, but I needed to make it late for the sake of that damned plot. That won’t change regardless of whether I decide to rewrite it. I could stretch out her time with Jeralt and Byleth a little bit more, I suppose, if it just seems too unlikely she was still there only a year before the events of the game start. (Again, I doubt it myself. But I needed it for the story.) You can probably tell at the beginning that, before the plot wormed its way in, she was initially written to seem younger than seventeen. I haven’t changed that (yet). 

So... now what I have to decide is whether to complete the story in this choppy, scene-to-scene format, or scrap it and do more development in a longer story. Therefore, I will happily accept the most scathing criticism you can throw at me. (I mean, I would anyway, but for this, I’m asking for it! Please tell me if Edelgard is just... completely unrecognizable.) 

This is also... well, you may see this story as choppy for other reasons. Personal reasons I will go into at a future time. Whether you like it or not, let’s say this story is something of a rebirth. And with birth comes starting anew. Never a quick and easy process. Shaky steps.  

All that said, if it does work - I hope you enjoy. This is not my usual style of writing at all, so it was kind of fun to just write the exciting parts. Even if the real excitement won’t begin until later. 

Part 1/?

Rating: TBD (this part is probably a T, just for the beginning)

-

She tensed at the sound of footsteps, biting back a whimper - even that would hurt. She was too weak to lift her head, time now a blur of slippery consciousness. The footsteps were the first thing she had heard in... in what seemed a very long time. She could no longer say how long. There was just herself - and the silence. 

They’re all dead. 

I’m dying, too. Then the rats will eat me. 

The rats were gone, for now. Sated by the flesh of the others - the tortured, mutilated remains of those who had been her brothers and sisters, left to rot around her. She no longer opened her eyes. She told herself she had grown accustomed to the smell. 

Perhaps she wanted to die. To be quiet and still, as they were - to feel no more pain. No more fighting the shackles. No more screaming beneath the needles, the knives, the magic. No more agony sent coursing through her with every frantic beat of her heart. 

She lived, though. Whatever she might long for - she lived. 

And they were coming for her again. 

She hugged her arms around herself, curling up as small and tight as the chains would allow, despite the pain of movement - it was almost involuntary. She had begged, at the start. Begged them not to hurt her. Begged for the others to be alright. Begged for her father to save her. But it did nothing. So now, she lay silent, and still, and alone. 

The steps were coming closer now, echoing in the stone corridor. But something curious about them - they seemed almost... hesitant?

Father?

Her breath caught, hope like a taper within her scarred, aching chest. But just as quickly, it was gone again: the voice she heard was not her father - nor any she had ever heard before. 

“The lock,” it said - deep and rough, even in hardly more than a whisper. “Be quick about it. We don’t have much time.”

“I know, I know.” A woman’s voice now, but just as rough. It made her think of the kitchen girls gossiping under their breath, their accents so harsh it sometimes seemed almost a language of its own. “Shut up. Lemme work.”

The soft clattering of metal pushed slowly, carefully against metal - an even softer click - then the familiar scrape as the door separated from its thick iron base. 

“Wait here,” the first voice said. 

“You’re the boss.”

A candle - he had a candle. How long had it been since she’d seen natural light? The ones who kept them here used strange, glowing orbs, set high against the walls, casting only faint, greenish light to the floor below. She wanted to stare at that bright little flame, despite the pain against her eyes. But it was too much. She looked at the man instead. 

It was hard to make out details of his features, candle or not, but there was clearly a harshness to them that matched his voice. Sharp eyes, scarred face. 

Scars. 

She opened her mouth, but no sound could force its way past the rough, swollen surface of her throat. She didn’t know him, but he wasn’t one of them, and that was enough to relight that taper, deep inside her. 

Those tentative steps again - he held the candle out, casting it around the cavernous room, empty of all but chains... and corpses. 

And her. 

“What the hell?” He was breathing shallowly, through his mouth, and suddenly she was very aware that the stench was still there. A trickle of the nausea she had felt the first time she smelled it, realized what it was, once more twisted through her belly. Like her whimper, she fought it back - dry-heaving had more than once made her pass out from the pain. If she passed out, he might think she was dead, too. She would be left. 

Please! But still, she could force out no words. 

“They sure didn’t mention this...” the man said. She didn’t look down to see what he saw. She didn’t want to see, truly, what they had become: the sisters who had braided flowers into her hair and showed her how to knock apples from the trees. The brothers who had called her silly names and sometimes read her stories. That was not all there had been, but it seemed, now, all she could remember: the childhood things she had not known to treasure. Things that could never come again. Things that no matter how many times she told herself to forget, her mind seemed simply incapable. 

“What is it?” the woman asked, sotto voce, from the doorway. 

“Pretty sure it’s the Hresvelg kids. But they’re all long - wait.”

Sudden light, full in her eyes, and she gasped and shied back. Bolts of agony - in her head. In what remained of the rest of her. 

When the opened her eyes again, he was crouching before her, holding the candle carefully aside. His own eyes were brown - and softer, friendlier, than any she had seen for a long, long time. 

She felt her lip tremble, but resisted the urge to cry. Crying hurt, too. And besides - like begging, it did nothing at all. 

“Hey,” the man said. “What’s your name?”

For the first time in days - weeks - months - she found her voice again: 

“Edelgard.”

-

“What’ll you do with her, Jeralt?”

Jeralt - the first time she had learned the man’s name. They had made a makeshift sling for her across his back; she was too weak to walk, much less to ride, and so was strapped in a blanket like some swaddled infant. She might have cared more if all of her focus was not on staying conscious - even at a slow pace, every step the horse took sent nauseating agony pulsing through her. 

The man - Jeralt - seemed to consider for awhile, then sighed heavily. “I was going to bring them back to Remire if they needed some patching up before I figured it all out, so I guess I’ll take her home with me. Maybe some company her own age will open the kid up a little bit.” 

“If this one survives. She’s in pretty bad shape, Jeralt.”

“She can hear you, you know. Anyway - just another reason to keep her with me, at least for now. It might be hard to hide 11 children just reappearing, but one? Simple accident. Poison made to look like some common ailment. Anyone who kills 10 children - 10 Imperial children, no less - doesn’t seem likely to care about killing one more. I’ll figure out what to do when she’s gotten some of her strength back.”

It was night - Edelgard could see the outlines of trees against the sky, and the stars above them. The world smelled of wet leaves, the earth, a clean chill that spoke of autumn. Despite her discomfort, she couldn’t ignore it - couldn’t stop a frisson of... of almost hope. 

“Still back there?”

“Yes,” she said.

At some point, she slept.

-

She woke to blue eyes, far too close to her own. 

Her first instinct was to scramble away - but even attempting to push back with her arms brought a cry of pain she could do nothing to suppress. She hunched her shoulders and closed her eyes once more, breathing in harsh gasps, until the sharpest of the agony subsided, leaving the familiar, dull ache that she had come to know so well. 

“Sorry.”

“You don’t sound particularly sorry.” The words out before she could stop them, somehow defensive of her own childish behavior - but it was true. She heard no apology in that voice. 

“Huh?”

Edelgard finally forced her eyes open again. The others, thankfully, had retreated - instead of looming over her, they now watched from beside the bed. They belonged to a girl about her own age, perhaps a little older - though without a current date, Edelgard had long since lost track of how old she now was. The girl had messy hair that matched those blue eyes and well-patched clothing. She was still staring quite unabashedly. 

“My father said he’d be back soon,” she said - as if already dismissing her attempt at an apology. 

“Your father?”

“Jeralt. He said you might be thirsty when you woke up. No food yet. Are you thirsty?”

Non-sequiturs. It took Edelgard a moment - thinking was hard enough through the haze of pain. Was she thirsty? She had found herself, at times, lapping at puddles on the floor, desperate, telling herself it was moisture seeping through stone, and nothing more. 

Silent, painful attempts to speak, the night of her rescue...

“Yes,” she said - trying to hide the sudden, urgent realization of need. “Please.”

“I have to be careful.” Another strange, contextless statement - then the girl was up and gone, right out the open door to the outside. Edelgard could see the grass there, and the dark trunks of trees just beyond. 

For the first time, she wondered exactly where she was. She looked around - a small cottage, perhaps? No more than a cabin? There was a semblance of two rooms, but no complete wall or doorway between them. She seemed to be in the smaller of the two. There was little to see - rough, chinked-wood walls; beams across the low ceiling; one bed besides her own, and what looked like a pallet on the floor between them. The next room was only in partial view: a fireplace, a table and two chairs, cured meat and dried vegetables hanging from ropes strung across the walls. 

She had never been anywhere like this. But it wasn’t the hell beneath the palace in Enbarr - sunlight streamed through the narrow window next to her bed, and across the threshold of the open door on the other side of the room. She could feel the warmth; hold one weak hand up and watch it cast a shadow across the quilt around her. That was what she must focus on. 

Sunlight. 

Freedom. 

The strange girl returned, now with a bowl and a ladle. She stopped short of the bed, and seemed to consider for a moment, looking towards the other room. “Do you want a cup? I think at least one is clean.”

Edelgard shook her head. Best to try not to think about it all just now. Best just to pretend that of course she knew how to drink from a ladle. Best to ignore the protests of her swollen throat as she swallowed - and to ignore as well the water that spilled down her chin, her chest. It was cold. 

“Slowly,” the girl said. If she noticed the mess Edelgard was making, she said nothing. 

-

Cleaning her wounds was like yet another round on those tables, strapped down and screaming. Except... it wasn’t like that at all. Somehow. Despite the pain. 

“Do I need to have her hold you down?” Jeralt asked, nodding his head towards the strange girl - Byleth. Her name was Byleth. “This is going to hurt like pure hell.”

“No!” Too frantic - Edelgard stuffed it back: the terror of it. Her wrists and ankles were still raw, where the chains had bitten and rubbed away the skin. “I... I can stay still.”

The washing wasn’t so bad - it hurt, and a lot, but he was careful and quick. She could finally see the full extent of what had been done to her: her legs, her arms, and most of all her chest were a tangled web of scars and puffy, red-and-purple half-healed incisions. She could hardly stand to even look at them. 

No one here had asked what they meant. She wasn’t going to tell them. She might not ever tell anyone. Anyone who knew was already dead - or would be very soon. 

Worse than the washing was the brown glass bottle - spirits. Strong ones; just the smell made her eyes water. “Sure you can stay still?” he asked the first time. 

She nodded. She was not sure at all. But she would. 

He took her hand, extending her arm out, over the floor. There was a tub there. His fingers were gentle, but held her firmly. 

“Won’t take long,” he said. 

She held her breath. 

On her other side - another hand slid into hers. She looked over, startled. 

Byleth. Her eyes met Edelgard’s. She was almost... smiling?

The alcohol was like acid against her swollen, abused skin. Her back arched, and she fought desperately the urge to twist away - and to scream. Still, her mouth opened, a silent cry, and she felt the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Each of her legs. Her other arm. A rag, wiping agony against her chest. By the end, she was shaking with voiceless sobs, her body trembling all over. 

Byleth never let go, except to move to her other side, even after Jeralt said, “There we go, kid. I’m sorry about that.”

Edelgard kept her eyes closed, as if that did any good against the tears seeping from them. She felt scoured - flayed open, every nerve set ablaze. 

“He does the same to me.” Byleth’s monotone voice - but did Edelgard imagine the hand around hers squeezed, just slightly? “When I get hurt on missions. I took a sword to the back of my shoulder last summer, and he did that twice a day for two months. He does it to himself, too. You should hear him curse.”

It was by far the most Edelgard had ever heard her say at one time. But what caught her attention was - “Missions?”

“Mercenary missions.”

“You’re... mercenaries? You are? I mean - you, not just your father?”

“Yeah. For... awhile. I don’t remember exactly how long. Do you want some soup? You can try having some food now. But only a little bit at a time.”

Even when Byleth’s hand left hers, Edelgard could feel the warmth of it against her palm. 

A blur of weeks - she still slept often, and drank water almost ravenously. Food, even soup, was more difficult to reacquaint herself with; her stomach seemed to twist and clench, rejecting it. 

“Take what you can,” Jeralt said. “Just take what you can.”

Her wounds were healing - leaving raised, jagged scars, tattoos she did not need, would never need, to remember the place from whence they came. But there were no more baths of spirits, at least; just water now, every morning. It almost felt good: to be clean. To be cared for. 

As weeks became months, Jeralt encouraged her to begin walking again, to rebuild the muscle that had wasted away. Her legs and arms were so skeletal, fragile, she had almost grown afraid to even attempt to use them. 

But Byleth said, “Here,” and held out an arm. 

Edelgard hesitated - then placed a hand upon it. 

She would have been embarrassed by how tightly she clung, if she wasn’t focusing the entirety of her attention on her trembling, stiff, knock-kneed legs. She understood than how a foal must feel, stumbling to its feet for the first time after birth. 

Outside the window, she could see that winter had arrived: the trees bare, the sky low and grey. They must be well north of Enbarr - there was snow on the ground, more than she had seen since her time spent in the Kingdom. But nothing gave any greater clue as to where they might be. She hadn’t asked - she wasn’t sure she truly wanted to know. Not yet. 

When walking grew easier, Jeralt had her lift books or small pieces of firewood, to strengthen her arms. Byleth did the same, though surely it wasn’t necessary - even so young, Byleth was already all lean, hard muscle. Edelgard found herself watching how it moved, though she couldn’t say why. Envy, perhaps?

She didn’t understand many of her emotions, now. She kept them to herself. But she liked Byleth’s company, curious as it was, and she liked that odd little almost-smile Byleth sometimes gave her. 

She also watched, through the window, as Byleth trained at weapons: sometimes with Jeralt, more often alone. Jeralt was gone quite a lot - missions? - but Byleth stayed behind. She practiced most often with a sword, but occasionally with the axe used for cutting wood, or a long, sharpened stick in place of a proper lance. 

As the snow melted and daffodils began to peek through the crust of frozen earth, Edelgard felt almost whole again - or as whole as she was now likely to ever be. She still ached sometimes, but it was dull - bearable. She went outside, and could walk the perimeter of the little cottage six or seven times before beginning to feel exhausted. She woke in the morning eager for breakfast, plain as the fare on offer truly was. 

But with all of this came clearer mind - including the nagging reminder of the vow she had sworn, beneath the palace, as her family lay dying around her. A vow she would keep, even if it ultimately meant her death as well. The time had come - the time for true preparation to begin. 

The first almost spring-like day, warm and breezy - that was when she finally asked Byleth, “Will you teach me how to use weapons, as you do?”

Byleth lowered the makeshift lance, for a moment looking almost confused. “Why?”

“Because... because I'd like to learn. And it would continue to... to build my strength up.” She should have prepared an excuse in advance, instead of stammering all over herself. 

But Byleth, as usual, seemed not to notice. “Okay,” she said. “What would you like to start with?”

And so Edelgard began, slowly, to prepare for the future.

To prepare for vengeance.

-

It was late spring when she finally confessed. It was only two months until the Garland Moon, and her birthday seemed as appropriate a time as any to leave. She could not put this off any longer - it was time to accept that. 

But she also could not stand the thought of leaving Byleth without warning. Especially since...

“Kid?” Jeralt’s voice, late in the night - soft, but Edelgard no longer slept deeply or soundly, and woke at the slightest noise. “Hey - this again?”

In the meager moonlight seeping between the closed curtains, Edelgard could see Jeralt standing beside the pallet where Byleth now slept, half-bent over her. Byleth was on the pallet, just as she should have been. But she was sitting up, and her eyes were open. Open wide. The meager moonlight seeping through the curtains seemed to catch in them, so that their deep blue appeared almost green. 

It was not the first time it had happened - and if anything, the frequency of it was increasing. Each time, it lasted only a few minutes, then Byleth would begin to stir and murmur, as if waking from perfectly normal sleep. She saw a girl, she said - but never elaborated, and Jeralt did not ask, and Edelgard did not know if it was her place to do so, despite her curiosity... and her concern. 

She liked Byleth. She liked Byleth... in ways, and for reasons, she did not understand. That hand holding hers. An arm to help her stand again. Strange, wordless smiles. For the better part of a year now, Byleth had been here, a constant companion, helping, serving, teaching. 

And now, when Byleth might be the one in need, Edelgard was leaving. She had to. But she owed Byleth at least an attempt at explanation of why.

“I would like to show you something,” Edelgard finally said one morning, as they were finishing breakfast. Just the two of them, Jeralt gone again; Edelgard was not ready to face both of them, though she suspected Jeralt already knew much of what she was going to say. 

“Okay.” Byleth cleared away the table, accepting the request as easily as always. “Where?”

“Outside.”

It felt almost like summer - hot, the air still and heavy. Perhaps that was why Edelgard could feel the sticky discomfort of perspiration against her hands as she lifted the now-familiar old axe they used for practice. 

She had never allowed herself to do this before, yet she knew herself capable of it: gathering all the power now contained within her. 

The power of two Crests. 

She drew the axe back, and hurled it before she could second guess herself. 

Capable. Yes - the strength they had whispered of with such hungry need...

The axe flew, a blur of silvery-blue, and sliced completely through the slender trunks of two young trees before stopping, with a reverberating thunk, deep inside another.  

Edelgard left it there and turned to Byleth, speaking the words before she could fight them back: “I have to leave. And soon. There... there is something I must do.”

Byleth just stared at her for what seemed a long time, her expression almost... concerned? It was hard to say. It was always hard to say. 

“I know who you are,” she finally said. “And I know where my father found you. That’s why we came here - because it was safe for the Hresvelg children, if they needed to be kept hidden. But you were the only one who lived.”

Edelgard looked down, afraid her expression would offer more than she was yet prepared to give. “Yes.” At least that part she wouldn’t have to try to explain. How long had Byleth known? “They were doing... experiments. They wanted...” She took a deep breath, and forced her head back up, her eyes meeting Byleth’s. “They wanted a weapon.”

She told it all: the experiments. The deaths. The dungeons. She told it before the begging voice in the back of her mind could gain control. By the end, she was looking down once more: at her arms, crossed tightly against her chest. 

At the scars. 

“Two months until you go looking for them?” Byleth asked, when Edelgard was finally silent once more. 

“Yes. Two months and a bit.”

“Go get the axe.”

Edelgard looked up then, surprised - it sounded almost like an order. But Byleth stared right back - then turned and left. Walked into the house without another word. 

Edelgard blinked. 

Then, she did as told. It took three tries to jerk the axe from the tree. She didn’t want to use her Crests again. Even with no one watching, she felt self-conscious now. Vulnerable and exposed. She bit her lip and took a deep breath before turning back. 

Byleth had gotten a charred remnant of log from the fireplace, and used it to draw a large X on a tree - a far bigger one than those Edelgard had severed, and far closer to the clearing where they trained. 

“Can you hit that?”

Again, Edelgard was surprised. She looked at the tree, then back to Byleth. “I... I suppose so?”

But the axe flew far to the left of the target. Edelgard did her best to keep her expression neutral, but there was no way to hide the flush that rose in her cheeks. “I... perhaps I am tired. My apologies.”

Byleth cocked her head, considering, apparently, the untouched target. “That’s what we should focus on,” she said. “Before you leave. Your aim. We can do that in two months.”

But they didn’t have two months.

-

Edelgard was half-awake in bed, drowsy, blanket pulled to her face. Jeralt was packing to leave again, and quiet as he was, it had been enough to keep her from sleep. Byleth was in the other room, preparing food for his journey. 

An ordinary evening - until came the desperate, frantic pounding at the door. 

Edelgard sat bolt upright, sleep forgotten, her heart pounding at the sudden noise and the accompanying, baseless, terrified thought: They’ve found me. She pulled the blanket to her shoulders, like a child after a nightmare. Byleth was standing in the partition between the two rooms, and Edelgard tried to focus on her - bright, alert eyes. Her hands by her side... but one held a knife. 

It was Jeralt who opened the door. 

Edelgard tensed. Blood pounding in her ears - she could hardly understand what they were saying. Something about an attack...?

It’s just boys. Just three boys. Nothing dangerous about them. Dressed in uniform, though they did not appear to be military. Something familiar about it, though - had she seen such uniforms before? When she was younger, maybe?

One of them - the tallest among them, his unkempt blond hair falling across his face - was scanning the room, as the other two talked to Jeralt. 

Jeralt sighed. “Guess I’ll have to leave a little later than planned. Kid, you -”

The blond boy pushed past him - his eyes had locked on Edelgard. She met his gaze, letting the blanket drop, and lifted her chin. A boy. Not dangerous. 

Jeralt tried to grab his arm. Missed. “Hey -!”

Byleth had the knife up. 

The boy ignored them. And now Edelgard could see the shock in his expression. 

He stopped a few feet from the bed. His eyes were huge, his cheeks flushed. 

He spoke one word - one word that chilled her more deeply than the coldest winter day. 

“...El?”

[amazildoessomethingstupid]

Chapter 103: It’s all in the mind

BAM! Don’t call it a comeback! I’ve been here for years, damn it and we coming in hot.  You thought I was gone didn’t you? You thought it was safe, well not anymore! I’ll be honest, I did actually read this chapter beforehand but for one reason or another I just didn’t make a rant for it as planned.  Mainly because it was such a scattered mess of a chapter. But now that it’s been...

HOLY SHIT A WHOLE FUCKING YEAR AND A HALF.  DISGUSTING, ABSOLUTELY REVOLTING! I can feel my honor fading.  But, now that the time has passed, I’ve been able to get my bearings straight, and forget what I read in this chapter for the most part.  So we can try this again fresh and new!  

 To start, we have Mike and Lucy praciticng Tae Kwon Do.  Which is kind of surprising given…y’know…the whole….

Damn, not only did she recover from that with no lasting damage to her motor skills or body, but she’s managed to maintain a FUCKING BLACK BELT! I mean she’s so powerful and graceful she managed to break the wooden plank cleanly in half!

Just chopped through it like butter while Mike can only watch nervously.

Not that we have much time to spend on that, because we’re immediately thrown outside the dojo, to Mike and Lucy’s moms talking to each other.  

And it’s pretty nice.  We get some good dialogue and a peek into Lucy’s home life, and it’s pretty refreshing to see the adults’ perspective on the drama between our two protagonists.  Honestly, I like this is a great set up for a chapter. Finally we get to see how the family feels, and what they think, or plan to do.  I’m hyped!

Orrrrr Lucy’s mom can be swept aside, because who wants to hear about that stuff right?  Oh man I thought we were going somewhere for a second there.  Ya got me, Taeshi! Did I mention that this is the first three pages?  Because it is.  What is the premise of this chapter?

HEY DON’T YOU WALK AWAY FROM ME, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING WITH THIS?

So Lucy walks away from that actually interesting scene premise and bumps into…

THE MEME AMAYA! LET’S GOOOOOO!

I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT IT’S A BLATANT SONIC REFERENCE, AND THAT’S CRINGE!  It’s Sue hanging out with Amaya and there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.

This joke on the other hand…

Oh that’s a paddlin’.

Can I just say, I kinda hate these Lucy nicknames.  Like, it just seems weird.  Just call her Lucy for fuck’s sake! At least she didn’t say Luce.  That’s like far too close to a lewd insult for my taste…and yes, I still maintain that Jasmine is a narrative cocksleeve.  Nonetheless, this page is just a nice little aside, with Lucy interacting with Amaya and Sue.  

And hilarity ensues.  Ho ho ho, excuse me for not laughing when last chapter left me feeling

…hollow.

Still this is pretty nice. The girls hanging out, and having fun. Talking about stuff, it kind of reminds me of what I was looking for from Lucy’s return initially (I would’ve liked to have it be more of Sue learning about Lucy, rather than Lucy learning about everyone else.  But ehhh it is what it is, I can’t complain too much.)

It doesn’t take long though for the tone to get serious, and now we finally get into what this chapter’s about!

Yessssss! We get to dig into Susan’s perspective, and we can start to get a better understanding of how the drama has drained and affected other people.  And maybe we can see some insight from Lucy, now that she’s forced to see that her lack of communication, and inaction has brought consequence to other people.  I mean, remember Paulo?

Maybe this chapter we can see Lucy start to understand and get closer with her previous friends. Maybe open up a bit more, and try to talk about her situation, and…

OR WE COULD JUST NOT TALK ABOUT IT! THAT’S FINE TOO, I GUESS! JUST…BRUSH IT ASIDE! THAT’S COOL!

Still, this is a good scene. Finally getting more insight to Sue’s plight and mentality, all very good stuff.

And Lucy shows a bit of heart, consoling her old friend. It’s nice.  It’s all very nice.

So why is she making that face…

Oh, don’t do that… Don’t make this fake character development.  Please, give Lucy a heart.

Well I mean this is nice…but…

It’s all undercut by the fact that it’s a blatant deflection, and Lucy not telling the truth about herself.

YES YES WE GET IT.  WE GOT THE SONIC MEME WITH THE COOL OWL AND THE SKATEBOARD AND THE HOWDY DOODIE FELLOW KIDS.

But anyway,

Susan tries to talk Lucy into joining the table, but she’s not receptive about it and-

Wut?

WHAT THE FUCK? What the fuck is he doing here? I thought this chapter was gonna be about Lucy bonding with Susan, or something nice.  What the heck?  

What the hell is going on in this chapter? So Mike was just choosing to stalk Lucy again after being told of by her before.  And Why the fuck is Susan being the massive cunt in this situation?  She’s trying to be Lucy’s bodyguard and it just comes off being an absolute bitch.  Why is she doing this?

And WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!

No seriously, what the fuck is Daisy doing in this scene? What the hell is she going to contribute to this conversation?   Wait…what is this conversation?  WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHAPTER ABOUT?

Haha, funny joke.  Lucy’s a bitch, haha never gets old.  SERIOUSLY WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

Well now I get to start hating Lucy AND Susan’s characterizations! It’s a twofer! But at least we’re getting some insight to Daisy’s thoughts on Abbey now.

She wants everything to be alright, and cares about everyone getting along.  But- HEY WAIT A SECOND!

WHY THE FUCK ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS?! WE’RE ONLY 13 PAGES INTO THIS CHAPTER AND WE’VE BEEN GIVEN HALF-LIP SERVICE TO THREE DIFFERENT TALKING POINTS! WE STARTED AT THE DOJO, WITH THE PARENTS TALKING ABOUT MIKE AND LUCY’S RELATIONSHIP, AND THEN WE BUMPED INTO SUSAN AND GOT TO TALKING ABOUT HER THOUGHTS ABOUT MIKE AND LUCY’S RELATIONSHIP, THEN MIKE COMES IN OUT OF NOWHERE, AND NOW DAISY’S EXPOUSING ABOUT HER FEELINGS ON ABBEY! MEANWHILE, ALL I CAN THINK OF IS WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING HERE? WHAT IS THIS CHAPTER SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT? WHAT IS THE CENTER OF THIS?  WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS?!

Oh…

Oh you motherfucker.

THAT’S WHAT THIS WHOLE FUCKING CHAPTER WAS ABOUT?!  THAT’S THE CENTRAL FUCKING TALKING POINT OF THIS CHAPTER? ARE YOU FUCKING F’REAL SHAKES RIGHT NOW?! SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT…

You started with Mike and Lucy going to Tae Kwon Do so she could walk away from Mike and her family to go home…

So that she could be outside and randomly bump into Susan…

So that she can point out the FUCKING MIKE YOU PULLED OUT OF YOUR ASS…

So that you could then bring in the even more ham-fistedly forced Daisy into this scene...

ALL SO THAT YOU CAN HAVE LUCY NONCHALANTLY TELL EVERYONE THAT AUGUSTUS IS STAYING WITH HER?! IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE FUCKING TELLING ME?!  THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST CONTRIVED BULLSHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN YOU PULL OUT OF YOUR ASS, AND THAT IS SAYING A LOT!

What the fuck is this conversation? Why the fuck are they talking like this?

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CHAPTER?!

This is a very serious conversation.  About a very serious topic, that can have nuance and give a deeper understanding to these characters’ feelings,

But it’s undercut by stupid jokes that just paint Daisy as a fucking idiot, who doesn’t know what she’s talking about.  

It’s abundantly clear which side we’re supposed to be on here, but as I said before it undercuts Daisy’s character.  It makes her seem like the attention-whore that she was made out to be in the earlier chapters.  

Like, look at this. She’s full envious bitch-mode right now! She was stalking Mike a minute ago, and it all just undercuts what could be a very serious character moment for Daisy, and you know what?  

I just realized why it took me so long to do this rant. At the time where I was initially going to write this rant, I noticed that we were about to hit a crossroad.  

Because this was right at the time when False Idol was having the Augustus talk between Daisy and Lucy (and before you mention it, I would like to note that this scene was planned far ahead of time and it was not influenced by the canon chapter) but if you’ll allow me to pride myself, I wanted to mention what False Idol did right about this talk.  And why I have such a problem with how the Canon has portrayed this scenario. So let’s take a moment to talk about False Idol, because this scene in particular is one of those scenes that I put a lot of thought and effort into, to do it right.

First of all, it doesn’t start with Lucy just flatly saying that she’s been seeing Augustus.  It’s Daisy taking the initiative and talking with Lucy to get information on Agustus.

And much like in the canon, Lucy is very apprehensive (and rightly so) about Daisy pining over Augustus. But unlike in this chapter, Lucy isn’t being judgmental and controlling, telling Daisy that she’s an idiot for wanting Augustus.  She’s bewildered, because why the fuck WOULD Daisy want augustus?  He almost raped her in the comic…but there’s a twist…

We as readers (or at least those of us who had gotten a sneak peek at the BCI exclusive Another Chance when it was published) know, Augustus actually wasn’t going to rape Daisy.  This was the twist and lynchpin for this entire scene in False Idol.  And how, Daisy’s pining for Augustus isn’t that outrageous.

The truth is, Daisy didn’t really know what Augustus was going to do.  She may assume that he was going to have sex with her, and of course Abbey would reinforce that Augustus was trying to rape her.  But now that she’s away from Abbey, and able to think for herself she may look at the situation in a different light. She starts questioning what really happened at the carnival and thinking it may not have been that bad.

But even though she doubts that it was what it was, she still recognizes that it’s not a good idea, and thus looks to confirm it with Lucy who is the only other person who has been around Augustus.  

But just like in the canon, Lucy is still very against Daisy going after Augustus.  Even if he’s not a rapist, he’s not a good person.  

The difference being that Daisy’s argument shows us she’s not stupid and gives a better understanding about her feelings, and what exactly makes Augustus special to her.  He made her feel like no one else did, not even Mike.

It’s clear that Daisy’s want of Augustus isn’t just surface level attention-seeking.  She wants to feel special.  She wants to feel more than loved, she wants to feel confident, and the truth is there was only really one person in her life that made her feel free.

But it’s still reinforced that going after Augustus is a bad choice, much like how it is in the canon. However, there’s a part of this argument that the canon completely misses out on.

Slut Daisy, is a Free Daisy. Everyone has looked down on her as a child who needs to be protected, Abbey coddled her, Paulo wouldn’t touch her, Mike doesn’t want her like that, and she’s forced to watch everyone else have their own relationships and drama, get to make their own choices and mistakes while she gets to watch on the sidelines.

Daisy’s argument isn’t just about wanting to go after Augustus because he makes her feel good, or because she wants the attention that he provides.  It’s about her wanting the freedom, the confidence, and the ability to act for herself.  Because the alternative is being left wondering what could’ve been when it’s too late.  A lesson that Lucy knows, all too well.

Daisy can be a very complex and interesting character.  Yes, she is an attention whore, she’s needy, she’s naïve, but she’s smart.  And to downplay or just push those traits aside and label them as just blatantly bad and not something that can be built upon, or used to grow this character into something more.  Something stronger, better, but still DaIsy.    The problem here though is, that that’s not what the canon is interested in.  The canon doesn’t want Daisy to evolve to slut Daisy the free Daisy, or if so it wants it to be a clear black and white bad thing.  But I digress, because that’s not what this argument in the canon is about.

No this isn’t about Daisy…

No… this is about Lucy.

Oh my god, she finally showed some emotion! This is what we’re gonna talk about.  We’re gonna have her open up and talk about her feelings, and…

Say nothing…

Alright, I’m not heartless. I understand what’s going on, and what the implication is.  About Lucy equating her abuse to Daisy’s and not wanting her to go through the same things that she did.  It’s understandable, and I feel sorry for the character.  The problem is, the way this is structured by having Lucy just go back to controlling Daisy after Lucy’s outburst and go back to being cold, and composing herself in one page makes this statement feel…wrong.  It feels too cold, almost like the outburst was only used to forward the point Lucy was trying to make.  It feels…emotionally manipulative.  Not just on the part of Lucy, but on the part of Taeshi as a writer.  She can’t be wrong, because Lucy’s a victim.  There’s no argument for Daisy to go after Augustus, because Lucy knows more about it.  There’s no growth, we just get a peek at the inner turmoil and damage that trauma has caused Lucy, and the conversation is ground to a complete halt.

There’s nothing to say, there’s nothing changed.

And the last three pages are spent just watching these characters we ham-fisted into this scene just to watch them leave.

Oh and Sandy’s not talking to Mike.  There we go.

But that’s the end of this chapter.  It’s All in the Mind, and my god… It’s hard to talk about this chapter because it brings up Lucy’s trauma to the forefront again, which is always a difficult topic. But let’s not forget that this is a fucking convoluted chapter.  We spent the whole first half of this chapter so that we could force characters into place, and yell at them for a two page outburst.  There’s a number of interesting conversations that it brings up, but it doesn’t spend any time working through them, and the one talking point that it does bring up is just a one-sided “my problems outweigh yours” argument, and that’s all that is accomplished.  You could’ve done so much more with the characters, I mean for fuck’s sake Mike LITERALLY DIDN’T NEED TO BE HERE!  The only reason he’s in this scene, is so that Lucy can tell Mike he’s worse than Augustus! It’s just dicking us around, and then punching you in the gut out of nowhere so that this chapter can seem like it has a point.

But it doesn’t.

We as readers are quite aware of how Lucy’s trauma is affecting her, especially given how that was literally right before this chapter.  It’s just catching the rest of the gang up on that, in fact…

Didn’t we start this chapter with the adults catching up on what’s been going on?

And then the whole conversation with Susan catching Lucy up on what’s been going on?

Not to mention, we earlier had the jab to point out old traits like Lucy’s deaf ear.

And Daisy’s old attention-whore ways 

AND WE LITERALLY STARTED OFF WITH THE KIDS PRACTICING TAE KWON DO, RECAPPING AN OLD PLOT POINT THAT PEOPLE DIDN’T REMEMBER.

4/10 It brings up a lot, but it doesn’t seem to do anything with it.

[streetlightsky]

5, 10, 18 & 19 for the asks?

i did not forget about you, beautiful anon, i promise! thanks for the ask, 💛.

fic ask game

5. What character that you're writing do you most identify with?

well, currently only writing sebchal, so i've got limited options, ha. but out of the two, i definitely identify with seb more--and thus, perhaps, actually find him easier to write. i identify with his privacy, his lead by example mentality, his sudden and direct moments of snark, and a bunch of other stuff actually. we're both water signs, you see--intuitive and emotional water signs who care a lot about depth, relationships, and security. it's rather a pleasure to write him.

10. How would you describe your writing process?

i did answer this one in the last ask, but here's some more insight regarding outlines. i don't know what a typical outline is supposed to look like if there is even such a thing, but mine tend to be a sequential map of where the fic is supposed to go (we're talking longer fics, of course). for example, for postcards, the outline consisted of the entire made-up 2021 season, taken from the original 2020 season, and what each postcard would say per location. if you take only what was written on the postcards, you can vaguely see how the story transpires (platonic to longing to desperation to vulnerability to comfortability to love). all the actual scenes that accompanied the postcards or those in between were crafted as i wrote, but because i had the progression of the fic and relationship embedded into the postcards, i didn't need to outline every single scene in sequential order.

18. Do any of your stories have alternate versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterizations?) Tell us about them.

i previously answered this one too, but here's another bonus version of roots on the rooftop. i was originally going to have their physical relationship begin that first night seb arrives in monaco after he gets a brief tour of charles' apartment. here's the snippet i saved:

“Why are you so quiet?”

So he had noticed. Of course he did. This was Seb.

Charles tried to laugh it off, but the sound was awkward between them. “I don’t know. I’m just surprised you came.”

“You were the one that asked.”

“Yes, I did.”

Seb stepped closer to him—closer than Charles thought would ever be possible. His breath hitched, and he held the air inside of him like he did his expectations and desires.

“This is silly,” Seb said. And he leaned in to kiss him.

Charles pulled back immediately. His body vibrated with the need to go back there and capture that sensation again and again and again.

“What are you doing?”

“Isn’t that why you invited me here?” Seb asked.

And, fuck. What the hell just happened. What did he miss in those two stupid text exchanges that amounted to a grand total of five messages. What did he not see when Seb called him and said he could book a flight in a couple of days and could stay for a while. How long was a while? And—

the fic theme would've been the same, but i ended up scrapping this because i thought this made the relationship too obvious for charles, wanted him to struggle a little more, and wanted to see a slower unfolding of him realizing his feelings for seb. but if you compare, i did repurpose most of the dialogue and narrative for two scenes in the final product.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favorite verb, something you describe 'too often,' trope you can't get enough of?)

also previously answered, but i gave this question additional thought. if it's not obvious already, i write romance--not just because of ships but actually the genre of romance. that's my style. that's my comfort. that's my go-to. so that in of itself sometimes lends to ideas or images or actual writing that can be very similar. i'm pretty conscious of trying not to literally write the same thing over and over, but it happens. and sometimes i lean on that purposely to kind of throw fun easter eggs into my writing as if i'm creating a signature thing you can look out for and be like 'ah, it's her. i found her initials embedded in the work.'