#and it’s like. yeah the emperor is……yeah

[theglassofmiddleearth]

Imagine Being Isekai'ed into KPOP DEMON HUNTERS. (part 7)

SORRRYY here is part 7! a bit smaller, this is honestly, ARE U GUYS READY TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED IN Y/N'S SPARE ROOM? (tag list is still full guys!)

Previous

A heavy silence filled the room, a weighing question lingering in the air.

Why had Abel and Beom not been recalled along with the other men.

Despite what Gwi-ma had thought, the two men had not been slain. In fact, they were not even close to being dead. This was the most alive they’d felt in decades thanks to Y/N.

‘Gwi-ma thinks you’re both dead.’ Jinu started, looking up at Abel and Beom. The mentioned men stiffened, looking down at a spot on the ground. Neither had given an explanation in the past twenty minutes, allowing the group to stew in an uncomfortable silence.

‘What did you tell him?’ Beom asked nervously, in a faux relaxed position sitting on Y/N’s spare bed.

The two had remembered their conversation with Y/N that it probably wasn’t the best idea to tell Jinu about what happened. To be candid, both the men were aching to tell him. Jinu was their friend. If there was a way they could pull him and the rest of their friends away from Gwi-ma’s manipulative nature, they wanted to do it. However, two men had promised Y/N that they wouldn’t say anything for now..

‘I said that the hunters had killed you both. Gwi-ma believed it too.’

‘I don’t know why we weren’t called back. We can still shift back into our original form but…’ A quiet puff of pink smoke revealed Abel’s true form as a demon, patterns and all. The black hanbok, fitting him snugly, complimented his figure perfectly. His claws were scratching nervously at his cheek.

‘How…’ Rae shook his head, ‘How is that possible. Do you not hear him in your head? What did you guys do?’

‘We didn’t do anything.’ Beom insisted, also shifting into his demon form, his yellow eyes illuminating the room in a soft light. ‘But it’s true, we haven’t been hearing Gwi-ma. It’s like our connection’s been severed.’

And technically, it was true. Beom and Abel hadn’t done anything, it was Y/N who had freed them from their suffering. She was the one person who had shown them empathy (besides each other) ever since their respective deaths. Empathy, that came with only one reasonable request.

That they wouldn’t take souls.

Yet, neither of the men were sure if this situation was permanent. What if at some point Gwi-ma's forked tongue reclaimed them, forcing them back to becoming a shell of the men they once were?

For now they hadn't taken any souls. Not personally at least.

‘Gwi-ma might be in our heads, but he can’t read our minds, he can only listen to how we feel.’ Min reasoned, running his fingers over the dusty spines of books stored on an old bookshelf. He had been around the underworld the longest, although he hadn’t made as much effort as Jinu to interact with Gwi-ma. 

Min had been able to drown out Gwi-ma’s voice the most, seeing as he had endured years of suffering and harsh words from the street. The beatings that he took from strangers outweighed the shame of Gwi-ma’s incessant whispering.

‘That's true.’ Jinu scrunched up his eyebrows, still feeling like he was missing something.

‘Wow, she has Janggi?’ Min slid out the long forgotten box, blowing dust from the top. Pivoting the conversation smoothly into a more wistful tone. Jinu had since stood up from his spot on the floor, leaning against the room's door.

‘Hey Abel, didn't you use to play that with the emperor?’ Rae squinted, looking at the dusty box.

‘Yeah, I remember I had to let the guy win or he’d fire me.’ Abel snickered, crossing his arms proudly.

‘I forgot you were both alive at the same time.’ Jinu said, whilst listening through the wall.

‘Yeah, he was the emperor's top strategist…’ Rae paused. ‘What the hell are you doing?’

‘That hunter just said she would fall in love with our Y/N.’ Jinu’s hand was clenched into a tight fist. The side of his head pressed firmly

‘WHAT?’ Rae jumped out of his chair, knocking over a box, creating a loud thump.

‘SHHH!’

‘Sorry!’ Rae whined, slumping back into his seat.

‘Why would she say that? Does she like our Y/N?’ Abel had since joined Jinu by the door, both men, ears pressed up to the door.

‘You both look like idiots.’ Min deadpanned, opening the Janggi case to check if all the pieces were still inside. ‘Hey Abel, wanna play?’

‘No, I wanna hear what's goin’ on.’

‘If you win, I’ll let you sit next to Y/N on the next car ride.’

‘Done.’ Abel turned away from the door, hurrying over to the makeshift game set up on the spare bed.

‘He knows that’s not up to Min right?’ Beom whispered to Rae.

‘Dunno.’

–

Y/N stretched, watching the sun peak out from the clouds, casting a luminous halo into the skyline.

The girls had left around two am, finishing their recordings quickly. They really were true idols. 

It had taken Y/N all night to come up with an acceptable draft, piecing all the recordings together into the correct timing. 

‘Ugh… I’m getting too old for this.’ Y/N mumbled, standing up and stretching her sore, stiff limbs.

‘Hm, I’m into older women.’

‘Huh?’ Y/N spun around, watching Beom and the rest of the boys spread out in her living space behind her. Each man was doing something different, Abel was playing Janggi with Min with a board and pieces she didn’t even know she owned. Beom was laying on her sofa, scrolling through his phone while Jinu was in the kitchen, prepping what seemed to be another soup.

 ‘Oh my goodness! Did you guys stay there the whole time I was editing?’

‘Yeah, we didn’t want to disturb you.’ Min replied, looking up from the tense game.

Rae was spinning around on Y/N’s spare gaming chair.

‘Wow, you guys were really quiet.’ Y/N stood up, rubbing her eyes. ‘When’d you guys come out of the room?’

‘After we had a chat.’ Jinu cut up some vegetables, dicing them into perfect pieces. ‘Just after your hunter friends left.’ 

‘Whatcha makin?’ Y/N sat down at the kitchen counter, laying her head to rest on her arms, relishing the coolness of the marble top.

‘Galbitang, I bought a bunch of meat, remember?’ Jinu raised his eyebrows, scraping the vegetables into a pot on the stove. ‘Do you ever check your fridge for more than an energy drink Y/N.’ 

Y/N groaned, as she peeked up from her arms, watching JInu shake his head in mock disapproval. 

‘Myeh, I don’t usually eat anyways. I just order something or run down to the convenience store.’

‘You’re gonna die before you hit forty Y/N.’ Beom shook his head, sitting down next to her.

‘Ugh, you’re two hundred, don’t talk about my age you boomer.’

‘You just said I was born two hundred years ago. I can’t be a boomer.’ Beom poked Y/N’s forehead gently, pushing her head backwards.

‘Bah, semantics.’ Y/N stuck out her tongue, allowing herself to be pushed back.

‘So, what is the plan? We have award shows lined up for the next two weeks.’ Rae crossed his arms, coming to a slow stop in his chair.

‘Well, nothing. We wait until the Idol Awards. For now, we…’ Jinu paused, the noise of frying something in oil crackled, filling the awkward silence.

‘We keep doing what we’re doing.’ Min nodded, stretching out his arms to rest his hands on the back of his neck.

‘Sure, whatever.’ Abel shrugged, locking his phone. ‘We have a bunch of award shows to go to. How many awards do you think we snatched from under their noses?’

‘As a debut group? Isn't that embarrassing?’ Rae snickered, standing up.

‘We have the better song writer.’ 

‘I wrote both of those songs…’ Y/N mumbled, face mashed into the marble table.

‘Mhm, you did well.’ Jinu slid a plate of gyeran mari kimbap towards her, ‘Eat up.’

‘But what about my galbitang?’ Y/N pouted, eating the egg dipped kimbap nonetheless.

‘Patience. You’d make such a demanding husband.’ Jinu rolled his eyes with a goodnatured smile. ‘It takes time to boil, you know that.'

‘But your sokkoritang was so gooood.’ Y/N mumbled, whilst chewing.

‘Yeah, because I made sure that it boiled for at least two hours.’ Jinu hummed, walking forward to brush a thumb over Y/N’s cheek. ‘Don’t talk while you’re chewing.’

Jinu sighed, watching Y/N batter his hands away, the girl not realising that Jinu had taken a stray piece of rice off her cheek.

‘Such a messy eater when you’re hungry.’ He whispered, bringing his thumb to his lips.

The rest of the boys gaped, watching the interaction.

‘Yall saw that right?’ Beom pointed, hand shaking.

‘Since when did Jinu have moves like that?’ Rae looked completely floored.

‘What moves?’ Y/N turned around, swallowing her mouthful.

‘What do you mean, what moves?’ Abel facepalmed, shaking his head in disappointment.

Jinu shrugged, face slightly red.

‘Our Y/N must be incredibly dense.’ Min chuckled, walking over to sit beside the confused girl. The oldest picked up a piece of kimbap and held it up.

‘Say, ah.’ He grinned, tilting his head.

‘Give that back.’ Y/N snatched the slice of kimbap so quickly her hand was a blur. ‘It’s mine. Get your own Jinu cooking.’ 

The boys were stunned, watching Y/N stand and take her plate over to her set up.

‘Wuh-’

‘Y/N, you haven’t slept in twenty four hours. What are you doing?’ Rae frowned, walking over to the still eating girl.

‘I’m almost done with editing the vocals. I just need to finish up. I’ll be done in like… four hours? I gotta do this for my girls.’ Y/N waved him off, placing a tissue over her mouse to keep from greasing under her fingers.

‘Workaholic.’ Beom commented, watching Y/N unlock her computer.

‘What do you mean my girls.’ Min ran an irate hand through his hair.

‘They’re my girls.’

‘Are you courting one of them?’ Min looked devastated, as if someone had just told him that they were out of hairgel.

‘No? It’s just a term of endearment.’ Y/N laughed, not looking up from her computer.

‘People use terms of endearment not for their loved ones?’ Rae looked equally confused.

‘Huh? Yeah all the time. I think Rumi has me saved as ‘와이프’ (waipeu) in her phone.’ Y/N shrugged, picking up the last piece of kimbap from her plate.

‘와이프?’

‘Like wife, 아내 (wife).’

‘You’re her wife?!’ The boys shouted in unison, all looking equally distressed.

‘No. Come on, you guys are so old fashioned-’ Y/N paused before turning around. ‘Do you guys have updated technology in the Underworld or do you just stay stuck in whatever era you came from?’

‘Eh, we were more preoccupied with reliving every single mistake we’d ever made, and listening to Gwi-ma whisper atrocities in our ears.’ Beom shrugged, rolling over to face the ceiling.

‘Oh…’ Y/N winced, looking at the boys who all refused to meet her eyes.

‘Anyways, that's why we’re here.’ Jinu broke the silence, closing the lid of soup. ‘So, what is our schedule like today?’

‘Well, we have a street performance lined up for today.’ Abel checked his phone, scrolling through his calendar.

‘Well, we better get ready for that.’ Jinu untied his apron, setting it neatly folded on the kitchen counter top. ‘Do we need to run through choreography? Does everyone feel good?’

‘Yeah, I have our outfits ready and washed.’ Rae nodded, pulling out Jinu’s pink undershirt.

‘I am not wearing pink.’ Jinu crossed his arms, turning away with a childish scowl.

‘But Y/N said you looked good in pink.’ Beom hinted, his tone mischievous.

‘I’m wearing it because it makes our performance outfits coherent. Not because Y/N thinks it looks good.’ Jinu grumbled, taking the shirt from Rae’s hand reluctantly, making his way to the bathroom.

‘Whatever floats your boat 형.’ Beom hid a triumphant smile from behind his fist.

‘Do you guys want me to come with you?’ Y/N stood up, taking her plate from the desk.

‘No. You haven’t slept. You’re staying home and sleeping.’ Rae took the plate from Y/N’s hands, walking toward the sink.

‘But I-’

‘No. Rae is right. You’re staying home.’ Abel crossed his arms, raising a single eyebrow. ‘You can work on your song now but you’re going to bed when we’re leaving.’

‘Can’t make me.’ Y/N stuck out her tongue, sitting back down in her chair.

‘Is that right?’ Abel leaned down, his hands gripping the chair’s handrests, caging her in. Y/N blinked up at Abel’s dark scarlet eyes, face warming up. His body emitted a familiar warmth, his unbuttoned crappy hawaiian shirt revealed muscles Y/N didn’t even know existed.

‘Okay, OKAY.’ Y/N huffed, pushing Abel away, her hands on his chest. With an amused smile on his face, Abel allowed himself to be pushed away from his close proximity.

‘That’s our girl.’

‘We’ll be back in about four hours. In the meantime, don’t open the pot lid, it’s simmering at the moment so you don’t have to check in on it.’ Jinu returned from the bathroom, changed into his performance clothes.

‘Okaaaayy.’ Y/N replied, plotting in her mind to steal a bowl of soup as soon as the boys left.

‘I’ll know if you opened the lid Y/N.’ Jinu raised an eyebrow, a knowing look on his face.

‘Ugh okay wife, geez you’re so particular with your cooking.’ Y/N groaned, spinning back to face her monitor, slipping her headphones on.

‘She called me wife…’ Jinu was frozen, jaw hanging in the air.

‘Yeah, I’m pretty sure she was just making fun of you.’ Beom shrugged, pulling on his shoes in front of the elevator.

‘Yeah, but she still said it.’ Jinu mumbled, stalking over to his shoes.

‘Does Jinu have a crush?’ Min whispered, nudging the younger man with his elbow, never missing a chance to tease his friend.

‘No!’ He whispered back, blushing profusely. ‘She’s… she's just a means to an end.’

‘You cook for all your ‘means to an end’ people?’ Rae pushed the button to open the elevator doors.

‘Hell, he barely even cooks for us.’ Abel laughed, leaning against the wall.

‘That’s because we don’t eat.’ Jinu rolled his eyes, shoulders hunched up, arms crossed. He looked exactly like a grumpy kitten that hadn’t been fed for five minutes.

‘But we can!’ Beom noted, coming to stand next to Jinu with a cheeky smile.

‘Why you little.’ Jinu grabbed the youngest man’s ear gently, tugging it upward. ‘You little brat. The last time I cooked for you, you didn’t even finish the entire dish.’

‘I’m sorrryyyy.’ Beom whined, hands pawing at Jinu’s shirt trying to get the older man to release his ear. ‘Ugh, let go! I’m not a child anymore!’

‘You’ll always be our youngest.’ Min smiled, patting the man on the head.

‘I have the deepest voice. I’m two hundred years old!’ Beom protested, rubbing at his ear.

‘Yeah, yeah. We know.’

‘You’re all grown up.’

‘I will disfigure you.’ Beom growled, stomping into the elevator.

‘We heal pretty fast so that’s not a problem.’ Min pressed the button to hold open the doors for the rest of the boys.

‘You guys suck.’

‘You love your 형 too much to do that, hmm?’ Jinu smirked down at his friend.

‘Shut up…’

It was now the middle of the afternoon, the boys were due back anytime soon.

The soup Jinu had left on the stove was beginning to smell irresistible, the smell wafting from the kitchen, filling her home with the subtle reminder of Jinu and his cooking.

Just as Y/N had finished up Takedown, sliding her headphones off, her phone began to buzz insistently on the table.

‘Hello?’ Y/N unlocked her phone, not looking at the caller ID as she cracked her neck, the subtle pop freeing the tension in her neck.

‘Hey Y/N!’ Rumi’s melodious voice came from the phone, sounding excited. ‘We have a fan signing in two days! Do you wanna come with us? We want to also introduce you as our producer!’

‘Is that Y/N? Lemme say hi,’ Another voice came from the phone, eager and expectant.

‘Hey Zoey.’ Y/N grinned, knowing exactly who it was.

‘Hey Y/N! Will you come?!’ Zoey was cut off by a sound of fabric rustling as she whined in protest.

‘Hey Y/N, have you eaten today?’ Mira’s distinguishable voice filled Y/N’s phone.

‘Hey Mira,’ Y/N laughed. ‘Yeah, I had the kimbap you gave me for breakfast.’

‘Atta girl.’ Another scruffling noise as Rumi finally took back her phone.

‘So? Will you come?’ Rumi’s voice was high in anticipation.

‘How can I say no to my girls?’ Y/N chuckled, swiping through her calendar app, ‘What time is it?’

‘It’ll start at ten! I’m so glad you said yes!’ Rumi’s cheers came through the phone, mingled with the sounds of joy by Zoey and Mira.

‘Oh! And I just finished Takedown! I’ll send it over and you guys can start the choreography!’ Y/N held her phone to her ear by her shoulder, sitting back down in her chair to export her project. ‘I was thinking that you guys could come over after your signing and we can start recording What It Sounds Like.’

‘Already? Y/N did you sleep yet.’ Mira’s voice filtered through the phone, a tone of concern highlighting her words.

‘Hm? Not yet, I’ll sleep as soon as I’ve exported it and sent it to you.’ Y/N pulled open her browser.

‘Promise?’

‘Yes I promise.’ Y/N nodded forgetting that the girls couldn’t see her.

‘Good.’

Y/N listened to the girls as they all said goodbye, promising Huntr/x that she’d see them in two days.

'Okay, love you Y/N See ya!!' The girls chorused.

'Love you too girls!'

'Y'hear that boys? She said she loves them.' Rae's voice came from behind her, a puff of pink smoke revealing five incredibly stone-faced men.

'You said you weren't courting them!' Min slinked over, tone dangerously calm.

'Uh, I'm not? It's just something you say to your friends.' Y/N edged backward, her back pressed up against a wall.

'You never tell us you love us.' The wall rumbled.

Wait, walls don't rumble.

Y/N spun around, facing Abel's displeased expression.

'Wha-'

'If you can say it to them, why not say it to us?' Beom piped up in his low voice, blocking her right side. The blue haired man's lips were pulled into a thin line.

'What, are you shy?' Rae came to stand on her left, leaning down to peer into her eyes, blocking all her possible exits.

Y/N's eyes darted to Jinu's a faint smirk on his lips as he watched the situation unfold. Why did it look like he was enjoying this?!

'HUH?'

--

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[mehrfh]

Love, eh?

People trying to pit a woman who literally gambled MaoMao's life as a rival to Jinshi will never not be funny to me....

Yeah nothing screams love of a person more than betraying the one you love in a very selfish manner against a person who literally *checks 16 LN volumes* brands himself like a servant, pretends as MaoMao's vessal few times despite being a crown prince, brings her forcibly removed adopted father back in his job in a dignified manner, spares literally rebels from horrific consequences for her sake, tolerates her father's disrespect regarding his position and still tries to win his approval, declares open intent to not have only MaoMao as his wife but free her in case he has to be the emperor and millions of such things....

Y'all need to get off the ‘morally grey wicked one gets the girl’ train promoted by internet, complexity can be decent and there can be complex characters like Jinshi who can act recklessly but also demonstrate utmost responsibility and selflessness in times...

Shisui, in her tragedy and beauty, acted recklessly and selfishly, something Jinshi would never....To even compare and say that they both are EQUAL as rivals in MaoMao's case is debasing the entire narrative of the KnH as a story...Just because Shisui came off as morally grey character who performed as a villain, doesn't mean suddenly she is a rival for Jinshi and somehow MaoMao's relationship with both is same. Somehow internet has made you think that villain gets the heroine trope fits here, please...

Many times, kind, noble and selfless hero does deserve the heroine because he has worked for it! And Jinshi perfectly fits that mould...Spare me this insult to entirety of Love.... How can one who reveals everything to you in the heart of rebelion and leaves you at the mercy of other's kindness can be compared to someone who turns the whole world upside down because someone dared to kidnap you? Just how are these two equal demonstrations of Love?

[thethronezone]

about one of the lost primarch was in fact a singer (the all K-pop demon hunter au):

Emperor: my child, i'm glad to see thaty you have......developed such gift and power. Rejoice because you'll gonna come with me in this holy crusade! LostPrimarch (that now i featured with korean traits, let Khan have a doting sister):...uuh.....yeah but...you have to kinda ask to my manager. manager:*the one that will obliterate the E,peror because WE HAVE A SCHEDULE DON'T TOUCH MY GIRLS

SHE IS PART OF A GROUP OF SINGERS AND SHE TOWERS OVER THEM BUT THEY ALL ARE READY TO FIST FIGHT BIG E TO KEEP HER. Sorry for the all caps but that thought had me in a chokehold.

And also, for the whole story to kinda make sense in 40k, the planet is located somewhere in the galaxy where the warp has a lot of influence and these psyker-singer warriors have to use their powers to kinda strengthen the barrier and just like the movie the general populace does not know about daemons.

[cusp-du-aureate]

Coming out of 3.4 like a winner because I got a bunch of my theories confirmed correct, LET'S GO! Spoilers beneath the cut, I've seen SOME of the cutscenes so these are 70/30 accurate but yeah!

1. Khaos was indeed Phainon's name, en flame reaver referred to him as Khaos.

2. He drew Nanook's gaze, yay!

3. AMPHOREUS IN ITS ENTIRETY IS IRONTOMB. Blacktide & every town & residence included.

4. The emperor's sceptor is the discarded neurons of nous.

5. The black tide, the antimatter equation, the destruction that is the answer to the equation all function similarly to the Herrscher of corruption in Honkai Impact 3rd.

6. The 2 phainons indeed merged, the old burned away by the new.

8. The sceptor created amphoreus, it wasn't a planet that was overrun by it.

7. Restarting the next loop, experiencing the 1st half of the cycle prior to the destruction of Aedes Elysiae.

9. Amphoreus is made up of memoria, data & khaos/kephale's memories. By that logic, the gaze of remembrance is justified.

10. Lygus is the sceptor's operator.

11. Amphoreus is a dream! It's a parallel to penacony!!

Future theories for future versions:

12. Amphoreus' loop is a parallel to Izumo(Acheron's home planet!).

13. The sceptor has grown a conscience which turned its back on Nous, wishing to best it, only to fall into the hands of the destruction along the way. So it went from an erudition tool used to study the destruction to a destruction tool used to oppose the erudition.

1. Irontomb may be tied to the propagation in some manner, like designwise in the fables about the stars trailer, they vaguely reminded me of the propagation with how their physique is shaped.

2. Lygus may be tied to the equilibrium, designwise, he reminds me of HooH. Besides that, I think he may become/or was a path strider of remembrance if we are to take his words of being installed in Amphoreus by Nous truly as is.

3. Cerydra is phainon's ancesstor, I'd go as far as to say she had a hand in establishing Aedes Elysiae. "Oh but Aureate she's from the north!". Yeah, she could be casted out or leave.

4. 4th path that Amphoreus is hanging in the balance with? Finality. ALL HAIL TERMINUS, WE SAY IN UNISON!

5. Elation, Erudition, Remembrance & Enigmata overlapping.(The concept of memo snatchers sounds very similar to what history fictionologists do ngl. The content of the other 2 paths could also be packed in.)

6. Only pathstriders of destruction can enter Amphoreus without resistance from the sceptor, Trailblazer(initial pathstrider pf destruction, also carrying a stelleron) accompanying Dan Heng was the reason why we got in.

7. The reason why this was a perfect loop, I think, is because the introduction of the trailblaze. Phainon is a lord ravager designed to combat Nanook, so in a way, for his creation, similar factors are required. Lygus found out 12 of these, but the lucky 13th(the 13th titan if you may, the 13th flame chaser) is the trailblaze. Nanook's home star system, Adlivon which was ravaged by both emperor wars & the swarm disaster was visited by Akivili prior to Nanook's ascension.

9. For the express crew to enter without deactivating or neutralizing the sceptor, the express may seek out the everflame mansion's assistance. Dahlia & Black Swan are acquainted after all. Dahlia may be interested since I suspect she, similar to the lord ravagers, opposes the path of remembrance though on a smaller scale.(e.g pursuing the memokeepers rather than an entire path like emenators do.)

8. Akivili offered Nanook an express pass to join the nameless.

10. Amphoreus could be terraformed by either the elation or the enigmata given its nature as being made up of memoria.

11. Lygus has likely gone mad and astrayed from erudition to destruction, or in a similar fashion to how Sunday veiled the order with harmony, he too is either using or guising one path with another.

12. Phainon has become a lord ravager opposing the path of destruction or at least a pathstrider as strong as an emenator. In our grand fight against Nanook, as foreseen by Elio, he will be a reliable asset.

[dawn-the-rithmatist]

Okay act one of Harrow the Ninth!

Nine months before the murder and we’re back in second person. Based on the previous one and the timeline of the first book, I’m guessing this is just after the first book wraps up.

I have a small theory about the narration but I low-key hope I’m wrong because it would make me sad

Is that Gideon’s sword 😭

Wait why are we in a hospital

Harris getting violently ill every time she’s forced to acknowledge Gideon’s sword but refusing to let go of Gideon’s sword, FUCK

The Body has Gideon’s eyes 🥺 Harrowwwww you insane pining sapphic

“Ortus Nigenad did not die for nothing” UMMMMMMMMMM

OKAY SO NOW IM SURE, HARROW’S BRAIN IS EDITING OUT GIDEON

UHHHHHHH

Mental break or curse or WHAT

Even the Emperor looks confused lmfao girl what are you sayinggggg

Somehow entirely unsurprised that the thing God needed restrained and locked away forever was. A woman.

Crazy how this story does not mention AT ALL that there was another kid there-

ORTUS WAS NOT YOUR CAVALIER. WHAT IS HAPPENING

There was another girl- tf you mean she DIED

Is part of becoming a Lyctor forgetting the person who sacrificed themselves???

Wait no because Cytherea still remembered her cav Loveday. Unless that’s not actually who her cav was. Aghhhh I need answers and it’s only chapter 4

Wait a second.

The beginning of the book has one of the Lyctors named ORTUS in all caps. That. Can’t be right.

What the fuck happened to Harrow’s brain

And WHY ARE WE BACK IN SECOND PERSON

Dude the letter

The LETTER

Whatever she did was absolutely to forget Gideon, this is so fucked

The first genuine free choice of her life and she CHOOSES NO

Is the maybe-insanity a new development or an old one? The Body feels like an old one, but the rest feels like maybe a side effect of however the fuck she FORGOT GIDEON

I am cooking a theory about the narration, brace for a long and conspiracy-like bullet point. I want to see some more characters to be sure but. I am cooking. I suspect that Gideon might be narrating this one.

A second person narrator who never says “I” has to be a narrator who isn’t. In the story. And if harrow has absorbed Gideon’s soul then it would make sense that Gideon is like. Present but not participating. Also certain lines of narration sound awfully sassy to come from Harrow’s brain. So I’m wondering if it’s Gideon like. Observing from within Harrow? I need to see more characters appear to make sure an “I” doesn’t sneak into the narration, and I want to know more about Lyctors and how they’re made to be sure it’s even possible.

But yes that is the theory, stay tuned for supporting evidence or a “lmao nevermind”

(This user is delusional and misses Gideon and refuses to accept death in the necromancy book)

This, at least, she hadn’t expected—how could she, what the fuck—and her mouth froze against yours, which gave you time to work. Yeah this “what the fuck” sounds like Gideon

Wh. Why doesn’t she remember Camilla 😭

that stab wound was written like a sex scene. This book is insane

Oh so that murder attempt was real! Interesting!

The altered history is so fucking upsetting. I miss my griddlehark. Give them back to me

Thinking about Harrow in the first book going “I don’t even remember about you half the time” and now she. She fuckin. Doesn’t.

I’m trying to think back to GtN what the requirements were for becoming a Lyctor and if there’s any reason why THIS would be the outcome. But Ianthe seems to remember good old Babs just fine so

Only thing I can think of is Ianthe says you have to “preserve the soul, with intellect and memory intact”. So maybe Harrow ripped out her memories and fucked with her sanity/intellect to prevent herself from fully absorbing Gideon? But like. Gideon is still dead, and if I’m right about the narration then she’s very much along for the ride

Cross referencing books rn like I’m in a class

the narrator just called Harrow the saint of emesis, you’re telling me that ISN’T Gideon??

The body telling her to lie about her age?? For what. And why was nurse Joy over here so relieved when she lied

Why is nurse joy basically going “ew minors”

(Idk what the Saint of Joy’s name is, so Nurse Joy will work for now)

The river is freaky as fuck

The tea was overwhelming, and tasted too much. By choice Harrowhark had only ever drunk water. When she had been younger, or ill, the marshal had made her sugar-water with a drop of preserved lemon in it, as a treat; even then she’d had to take her time over each sip. Why is she a Victorian child.

She hated it when people dressed constructs; it smacked of whimsy, like making one’s hammer wear a hat. “Ugh, not the whimsy”. Let’s make that a Calvinist Victorian child

Hm. This is not how Canaan House went down even a little bit. Starting to suspect there’s more reason to Harrow’s fucked up memories (hallucinations?) than just editing Gideon out

“Is this how it happens?” No! Obviously not!

Fake-memory-Ortus DOES seem aware of what’s going on though, which is interesting

You strained to see, chin tucked hard against the top of your chest, and beheld with relief your double-handed sword. Your relationship with it was becoming increasingly complex: you hated its presence, but the world without it would be unimaginable. J-just like. Gideon. Aaaaaaaaaaaa

“Ortus the first” yeah safe bet that the name is actually Gideon :)

“I need a cavalier with backbone” and Ortus saying he’s so glad he didn’t become that cavalier? Insane. I miss griddlehark. GIVE THEM BACK

And that’s act one! I am cooking! Acts two and three going up shortly because I have the self restraint of a child!!

Tag list: @pastelsandpining @sycadadrawsstuff @scoundrelwithboba @turtletotem @g1ngan1nja

[egrets-not-regrets]

Bullied (with love)

Nanael gets bullied by his brothers, with love and care of course.

Author’s Note: Jophiel’s life goal is to collect as many of his Primaris brothers as possible.

Thanks to @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan for writing this fic with me! It’s about time for merNanael to join the family. :)

Tagged: @shadowfirecat , @kit-williams , @bleedingichorhearts , @barn-anon , @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan

@sleepyfan-blog , @bispecsual , @c-u-c-koo-4-40k , @ms--lobotomy , @legionsofthehungry

@gra93fruit-blog , @i-am-a-dragon34 , @felinisnoctis, @thevoidscreams, @yurihasurunbara

@cruelmeltryllis , @insanity6666, @anothermeforcompany

“Come on, you should meet my mother.” Jophiel, wings flapping, tugged his Primaris Lamenter brother along as he swam.

Nanael was perplexed. Mother? He was quite sure they only had a gene father, but no mother. Jophiel did mention being adopted by a harpy family along with his Primaris brother-cousins. Sounds strange but considering his brother is so happy, he went along with them, not wanting to spoil the mood. 

“Our mother, Jophie.” Thressl added. 

“Well. Yeah! She's amazing.” Jophiel agreed with a grin, “I was the first one.” He added with a touch of pride. 

“We have gene fathers?” Nanael pointed out sounding more confused than anything.

“Adoptive mother.” Thressl clarified.

The Lamenter let out a quiet, “I see.” as he followed them. He still had many questions. Like how did he get here? How is this Ancient Terra? More importantly, why were there the heretic chaos merAstartes existing here? And no one seemed panicked? He kept that question to himself lest he exposed him and his brothers to danger. He was still too weak to protect his brothers. It wasn’t worth the risk for now.

He met some of the gannet harpies while he was still healing when they came to assist with his medical care. Though at first he wasn’t sure if he should be suspicious of them or not. Emperor forbid, what if they were chaos cultists? Nanael calmed down once Jophiel and Thressl gave him a proper explanation about where they are, how they got here, who the harpies were to them and the rules they are to follow. They tried to also explain the concept of bonding. Nanael tried to understand, but it seems more like some sort of warp witchcraft if he was honest. 

The harpies seemed nice enough, very kind, even helping him preen his wings, which Nanael very much appreciated. He could see why his Primaris brothers were so attached to this strange family of theirs. Nanael wondered what other beings (Xenos and abhumans didn’t sound quite right.) exist in Ancient Terra and how they went extinct by the time he existed. Perhaps those questions should be pondered another day. 

Soon they came upon a cavern entrance in the rocky cliff peninsula. Nanael paused, his slightly flared fins giving away his uneasiness. 

“Come on, don’t be a depressurized blob fish.” Said Thressl nonchalantly as he and Jophiel pulled Nanael along, one brother on each arm. They dove downward to the underwater entrance. 

“What is a blob fish?” Nanael asks Thressl, narrowing his eyes a little as he swims along with them. That didn’t sound very flattering at all. 

The red-haired Primaris chortled, “You’ll figure it out.” and swam ahead of him. 

Once out of the water, they entered a spacious cavern that connected to multiple other rooms. Nanael noted the sunlight streaming in from smaller window-like openings, dispersing into the rooms by refractive crystals and could feel the occasional sea breeze blowing through the cavern. What interesting architecture. 

“Welcome to our home, brother.” Jophiel grinned. 

They spotted a brown and white harpy organizing herbs and other goods in the storage area. 

“Mama! I brought Nanael to say hi!” Jophiel chirps at her.

“Hello Denmother! We found another one!” Thressl called out cheerfully, swimming over and enthusiastically picked up the harpy for a hug. 

With a pout, Jophiel jostled in and pulled his harpy mother for a hug himself, “Hello Mama!” He greeted her warmly. 

Lenora laughed and wrapped her wings around her adopted sons’ broad shoulders, used to their silly antics, “Hello, fledglings! I’m glad you’re home.”

Nanael floated awkwardly to one side, his tail twitching, waiting for his Primaris brothers to finish greeting their adoptive mother. Ah… It seems that Jophiel and Thressl like to compete for her attention and affection. She must be a very warm person to have them seeking out her attention like that. He blinked and stood at attention when Lenora looked at him.

“Welcome Nanael.” she smiled. The new mer with his slightly bedraggled wings reminded her so much of Jophiel when she first met him.

“Thanks for welcoming me.” Nanael says, eyeing the harpy warily.

As he glances around he takes a couple of sniffs- there are plenty of astartes that live here, most Primaris. But he smelled something… no someone, that raised alarms in his mind. There is the scent of an Iron Traitor and a firstborn at that! His scent permeates the place, particularly on the harpy. Why are they all so relaxed about this? Nanael was sure his brothers could smell him too. Should he bring it up?

Seeing Nanael’s unease, Lenora asked, “Nanael, is there something wrong?”

“I smell Iron?” He says almost like a question, trying to be discreet, “But as this place is partially built in the water- it wouldn't make sense for there to be a metal that rusts easily in this nest?”

He’s scenting Erroix- not that he knows that yet, Thressl and Jophiel look at each other in the ‘I thought you told him’ look.

“Ah- Papa Erriox- is an Iron Warrior.” Jophiel says delicately, “He’s Mama Lenora’s Bonded.”

“... I see.” Nanael says his wings twitching a little. “... And how does he treat you all?”

“Well! Quite well. And he’s good at teaching and training - without going too far.” Thressl says firmly.

“...Mmm.” Nanael says uncertainly. “... If you trust him…”

“I do!” Jophiel says, “he’s just out on a patrol trip right now.”

“And you prefer meeting fewer new people at once.” Thressl adds. “So - we thought to bring you to Mama Lenora first- then Papa Erriox later.”

Oh… that’s her bonded… that makes a lot more sense. Nanael fluffed his wings, releasing the tension he held. Lenora smiled, “It’s ok Nanael. Erriox is my bonded mate.” 

“Does he treat you well?” He asks relatively innocently. Not that his brother’s would tolerate mistreatment of the one they call mother- but it’s good to verify just in case.

Nanael is a sweetheart, Lenora thought, hearing the concern in his voice, much like her other fledglings. She patted his arm and reassured him, “He does. My mate treats me very well. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have stayed together for such a long time; let alone adopting Jophi and his brothers.”

“Ah… that’s good.” he mumbled. The Lamenter’s tail twitched nervously, “I’m glad my brothers have such kind people looking out for them. I probably shouldn’t keep you though…It was nice to meet you.” Nanael started to leave. His brothers found such a kind and loving family, it would be bad if his bad luck hurt them too. He should leave, just in case. 

“Nanael, you’re not inconveniencing me. You can stay if you’d like.” Lenora said warmly. 

He could stay? Nanael thought, dazed. In the next moment, The Lamenter mer was immediately tackled down in a flurry of hair and feathers. As he was stuck under the weight of Jophiel and Thressl, he pondered: Didn’t his brothers warn their mother about Lamenter’s luck? To be fair, it seemed that no one except for the Black Templar pod he encountered cared much about the Lamenters’ reputation of bad luck. It was strange and worrying, but on the other hand, Nanael was comforted that his brothers-cousins did not reject him. At least these ones didn’t. 

Lenora laughed, “I guess your brothers want you to stay too.”

“But I…” Nanael stammered as his tail flopped halfheartedly on the ground. He wanted to tell them about his chapter's curse. Surely Jophiel and Thressl knew about this.

Thressl interrupted, “We worked so hard to drag you here! Why do you want to leave? At least make our effort worth it!”

Nanael was unamused, “You didn’t work that hard, Thressl. I swam most of the way.”

“Brother Nanael is so cruel! He doesn’t want us any more!” Jophiel cried while flopping his whole weight onto his Lamenter brother dramatically. He lifted his head to look at Lenora, giving his best puppy-eyed look; big red watery eyes glistening with hope, “Mama, could Nanael stay with us? He won’t take up too much space and I can share my nest with him too! Besides, Papa Erriox said that we moved to this space since he expected more of us to show up eventually.”

“Jophie! Watch your wings!” Thressl complained. 

He rolled his eyes at Jophiel’s dramaticism and poked hard at Nanael's tail, “See? Now you got him all upset!”

The poor Lamenter flapped his wings helplessly, still trapped underneath his Primaris brothers, “I'll…” He wanted to tell them if they want him to stay, he'll stay. Why are they bullying him like this? They didn’t even let him get a word in!

Lenora and Erriox had expected more Primaris scoutlings to join their family, considering the Primaris brothers had a knack for finding each other. She laughed at Jophiel and Thressl, “Of course Nanael can stay, you silly mers! And I’m sure he would appreciate you two getting off of him.”

Immediately, Thressl and Jophiel moved off from Nanael. He straightened out, breathed a sigh of belief, then stretched and fluffed his wings. He shot Lenora a grateful look, “Thank you. For taking me in.”

Thressl and Jophiel cheered. 

The harpy smiled and pointed at Nanael’s wings which still looked a bit bedraggled, “It’s up to you how long you want to stay, but before you go, let me help you preen your wings. It looks like it could use some more preening. And I’ll help you waterproof them too. It will help keep your wings in better condition when you swim underwater.” 

Nanael looked at his wings. She was right, the gannet harpies who helped him could only do so much while he was recuperating from his injuries. He could use the help. Nanael nodded, “I’d like that. Thank you.”

Lenora led him to one of the nests, had him lay on his front then started to preen and reorganize the feathers on the back of his wings. Thressl and Jophiel settled by him and joined in with the preening. 

“Mama, could you preen me next?” Jophiel asked. 

“And then me!” Thressl chimed in. 

“You don’t have feathers!”

“I have hair!”

“You don’t preen hair!”

Nanael listened to his brothers’ arguing for a while, feeling warm and safe for once. He smiled a little; he has a place to stay now. His muscles relaxed under their ministrations. Feeling Lenora’s claws gently scratching his wing, he fell asleep.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Which BTS has the most dark sides?

Okay, besides Jimin, all were just in age order, because it was hard to list them, also when I ask specific questions. My guides tend not to answer specific questions I am noticing, so they just show what they want to share, this is what I can get. I feel this is the energy currently, but not overall, because I feel some are much darker than what they are giving me.

Jimin (The Devil) I wasn't going to do them in order, but once I saw the Devil for him, up to the too. This shows someone with many dark secrets. You can't get darker than that card. I can't tell you what that is, but he is tied to a lot of dark or shady sh**

Jin (5 of Swords/7 of Swords/4 of Pentacles) This shocked me, because I don't remember getting anything crazy in his shadow reading, but of course, I forgot, maybe this energy shifted, but these cards are pretty shady. This shows me someone who will do anything to maintain his career. 7 of swords is manipulative energy and he may bring others down to get what he wants. He is the first one I am doing, wonder if he remains on top.

Suga (King of Cups/Strength/10 of Swords) This is showing me that he has been betrayed by women. He may have gave his heart to them, put himself out there to get stabbed in the back, maybe this is why he has hardened. Also, he can be an emotional person but also has an ego and can be stubborn. Either he has been backstabbed, or he has done it to others. Honestly, I would feel he would have the darkest sides, but not getting much here with him with this spread. I will say I am noticing when I ask questions, my guides don't always answer the question, more so what is prevalent in the energy now.

Jhope (The Emperor) I am sticking with one card for him, I was aiming for one card, but the two above gave me three. Anyway, he can be very controlling, dominant, arrogant, unemotional, very logical. This particular card on this deck could give off someone with anger issues, so he can have some dark sides to him.

Namjoon (King of Pentacles/2 of Pentacles) Yeah, I can see some dark sides. Because of his fame he may like people to cater to him, to please him, in whatever form he may like that, not going into that. There could be manipulation with how he gets business opportunities. Yeah, that is it, not getting much else here.

Taehyung (Wheel of Fortune/8 of Pentacles) I am not seeing much from him honestly. He kind of goes about his business and focuses on his work and making money. Not getting much from him.

Jungkook (3 of Pentacles/Justice) This is just showing he wants things to be fair, and he wants to work well with others. Now I have picked up on him also involving in dark stuff, but maybe it is more he is involved around it, but he isn't all that dark, which makes no sense. He might be seeking some sort of fairness or justice of some sort. I am not sure why this is popping up for this reading. It really doesn't have much to do with the question. But Justice is someone who can have good morals, so there is that. Maybe he is working on making people accountable for their actions and maybe he wants to make himself accountable as well.

Okay, this took longer than I wanted, but this was hard to decipher.

[fourgods-nobrakes]

This is all good post. Too often, depictions of Slaanesh and Slaaneshi daemons/mortal worshippers (especially by fans but sometimes by GW artists) are made more feminine and less monstrous than the existing designs, making them "safe" sex objects. Slaanesh is the only one of the Four routinely* depicted has having female followers, for reasons that, yeah, I think we can all piece together if we think about it. But it's frustrating! There should be more not-sexy women following other gods, and there should be more sexy men following Slaanesh, and there should DEFINITELY be more attention paid to daemons often not conforming to binary gender.

Syll'Esske are a wonderful example; they turn up in the lore for both 40k and Fantasy/Sigmar, and in in the latter they have story explaining that Syll became smitten with Esske when he was a mortal gladiator competing for Slaanesh's favor, and after they managed a heroic victory in their god's name, Esske was raised to daemonhood so they could keep doing that together. Now he's murderous AND sexy and their partnership inspires mixed daemon-mortal cults everywhere. More like this pls!

I think the design teams at GW are trying to move toward more equal treatment on the sexy Slaanesh follower front; it's more obvious in Age of Sigmar, which has a newer set of designs overall. Kits like the Blissbarb Archers, who have both male and female members scantily clad and wearing armor over one breast to recall Slaanesh's dual-sex nature, or the Lord of Hubris, who bares a lot of skin and is posed in a very "come fuck fight me" way, are cool to see. In 40k there's the existing imagery of space marines and power armor to work around, but the Flawless Blades in the new Emperor's Children range are trying, with their bare throats and abs on display to tempt dueling opponents. And, uh, "dueling" opponents.

Will any of this filter into how people write fiction and draw art of Slaanesh's followers? idk but I hope so. I've seen some great stuff on my dash, tbh. In summary: draw more slutty sexy men <3

*I can think of a couple of individual cases of a female devotee of a different god, but only a couple.

You know what I hate from the majority of the depictions of slaneeshi worshippers??? They only depict sexy slutty women in it. I never see a piece of art or mini that depict sexy slutty men in it. Even the depictions of Slaneesh itself are "generic atractive woman... but hey, its PINK and has HORNS!".

And don't get me wrong, I love sexy woman too, but make them the only ones focused in the sexual part of "excess and pleasure" is weird for me. And reminded me of that article written by Terry Pratchett (Is "Why Gandalf never married" in English if I'm not wrong).

I think we can make a more deeper analysis about why we never depict men as "lustful worshipers of excess and pleasure" as we do with women in fiction in general (and about why in the only few exceptions, the man is ALWAYS a queer man, and focused in his queernes), but i don't have the strength to make it today.

In summary: Draw more sexy slutty men.

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

Oh yeah I js rmb since Jadeite Ginkgo is like practically finished (god time flies by so fast) you can like reveal?? or like officially state (because I’m sure someone in the comments prob alr guessed it) what does Jadeite Ginkgo mean as the fic title !!

I still can’t believe JG is over a year old…

jadeite is a type of jade (shocker i know), and jade is uber important in chinese culture (so liyue). it's a status symbol, it usually represents the emperor, and it's used in ceremonies etc. in-game zhongli has been known to craft two 'types' of weapons: the golden series, which seem like they're raw stone/obsidian with gold/amber/cor lapis; and the jade series, which- yknow. are made of jade. crucially, the jade series (ignoring splendor bc that's the outlier) were both 'given' to someone else – jade cutter was meant to be a gift for guizhong, and while it's never stated that zl gave pwjs to xiao, it's- i mean. it's xiao's sig. weapon, so. i think we can extrapolate here. unless you want to argue that the golden series are made with cor lapis and that cor lapis is a type of jade (an argument i will not fight you on since i kinda agree); this would mean all the weapons zhongli ever made with the uber important jade were eventually given/meant to be given to someone else, and not for zl himself to keep. (also, jadeite irl is formed only in subduction zones, which is where a tectonic plate dives under another and gets recycled into the earth and undergoes metamorphism (one rock transforms into a different type of rock))

ginkgo is an old-ass tree that has been around for so long that the animals that ate their fruit and the bugs that pollinated their flowers have all gone extinct. the fact that it still survives it's both bc it's long lived, and also bc it's managed to adapt to like. wind and shit. to proliferate. ginkgos are also known for the particular color and shape of their leaves, usually depicted as golden. i can't check rn but i swear sandbearer trees or other varieties in liyue have those goddamn leaves and most of them are golden.

so zl here is the long-lived, everyone-i-grew-up-with-is-dead, revered golden ginkgo that has adapted to modern times, jadeite-made where it was born from the tectonic plates and had to transform to something different yet similar that is put on a pedestal and made one of the most important rocks of a people. he also crafts and makes weapons of this rock to give to those around him yet keeps none (if we assume he bleeds gold and the golden series are made of that, then what he keeps is something he already has, and even though gold is also super valuable, in his hands it's not more valuable than he himself is therefore less valuable than jade)

also the reason it's jadeite and not just jade is bc the 1.5 version was called 'beneath the light of jadeite', so. jadeite is also the more sought-after variety of jade

[broadacre]

Continuing our own Machete order rewatch of Star Wars (Andor, Rogue One, IV, V, I, II, III, VI), my sister and I watched Empire Strikes Back and, yeah, it still holds up. Although, after the Battle of Hoth, there's not much Rebellion stuff in it. It's more focused on developing the main characters from the previous film. So, we see Luke's flaws while training with Yoda, Han and Leia's prickly romance, and, Vader ruthlessly choking any incompetent Imperial officer.

Interestingly, without its high command, we also get to see the Empire in its bare bones, just an old guy, his right hand and three ships filled with nervous space nazis. We finally meet the Emperor ("and his name is Palpatine!"), but he's not angry about his Death Star exploding, instead, he gleefully talks about making Luke to join him. This brings to mind a thought I had while watching Andor Season 2, inspired by Carro Rylanz saying the ISB was running a shadow government, not at all false. We do know Palpatine rules the Empire, but actually he doesn't care about the hows and whys, he just wants results (and more power). Of course, he's the big dictator, but, as we saw many times in Andor, all the oppression, racism, colonialism, torture, abuse, genocide, didn't just come from him. It came from the people that chose to do those things. All the moffs, generals, soldiers, etc, the Empire gave them a pass to be evil, and they accepted it.

I think it's important to acknowledge, like in any fascist regime, it's not just one person taking control of everything, they have followers. Like Syril, people that follow their Empire thinking it's righteous, but that somehow fail to see their crimes. Or Tarkin, who knows the Empire is evil and relishes on their acts of destruction.

And then there's Luke. He doesn't support the Empire, but learning Vader is his father, it's a huge blow to his identity. He realizes he's connected to the oppression of the galaxy, and even receives the offer to rule it with Vader. In despair, he lets himself go, choosing death (he doesn't die, but still).

[aqwult]

nl's notes app

guy who thinks han solo is chinese

guy who doordashes teppanyaki

guy who doesn't feel safe when his teppanyaki chef is a woman

when your only hellofresh meal left is teppanyaki

guy who thinks teppanyaki is the mandalorian's real name

guy who is nervous because he thinks teppanyaki is korean bbq and he doesn't know how to flip a shrimp into his own pocket

guy on first date who gets intimidated because his teppanyaki chef is so good

girl on a first date who leaves the guy to be with the teppanyaki chef

guy who thinks benihana is obi-wan kenobi's real name

homophobic guy who keeps insisting c3po and r2d2 are just friends

guy who thinks r2d2 is rjd2 and keeps telling people he loves their music

guy who listens to r2d2 music

guy who always describes it as a south korean restaurant

guy who calls the show: the walking unalived

we need a new french stewart

guy who insists he feels more comfortable with female teppanyaki chef

half korean guy named tommy lee-jones

recovering addict who only drinks non-alcoholic purell

22nd century amish community that still codes apps by hand

furry who gets offended by the term mocktail

booze cruise where you have to peddle to power the boat

ancient roman tiktok where some fine shit in a toga is throwing ass while the captions explain why nero is a bad emperor

memento mori at the buffet that reminds you: one day you'll be hungry again

juggling must be easy as fuck because i've never seen them drop a ball

sperm bank architects goated for designing buildings that can carry so much load

defaulting on my mortgage at the sperm bank so they repossess my cum

honestly i'm not convinced the depression was that great

ribbed trojan horse

a trojan horse that says magnum on the outside but when they open it up it's just an average number of soldiers inside

tom waits probably hates rush

guy who pretended he was enlightened after taking ayahuasca but was actually tormented by an hours long vision of his parents having sex

sorting hat from the american remake of harry potter having the university of georgia bulldogs logo on it

men's rights indian restaurant that serves papasmart and rogan joe

caveman podcast be like "todays episode is brought to you blueberries" (transcribers note: stolen tumblr post??)

they fucked up when they called those things watches

guy who learned how to talk dirty on duolingo

millennial missionaries who leave a copy of harry potter and the philosophers stone in every hotel room

abraham lincoln with a sleeve tattoo

guy who turned democrat after he found out abraham lincoln was a republican

joker fan who still listens to his early stand up

guy with a canadian food fetish be like yeah i love poutine. poutine my penis in the fries.

bluey must be confused as fuck when someone asks her if she's ready

antiwoke youtuber making a video essay enraged because disney made the new mulan chinese

[sacredhyacinth]

OKAY THIS IS A LONG ASK WITH LIKE TWO DIFFRENT TOPICS SO YEAH SORRY IN ADVANCE FOR EVERYONE

David’s new look makes him look (to me) like he’s either a dark souls npc or part of a kid’s tv show lore dump about a villain and that he was the one who banished him but then He (David) is never given any further lore until the 10th season. He’s kinda giving deadbeat priest, a scrapped design I probably would have for an archangel (but those guys usually wear cloaks and theater masks in my designs), part of the clergy, Star swirl the bearded (something I never thought I would say), and his hair looks like he combed it back out of exhaustion and a need to look presentable at the same time. 

ALSO I think David’s scrapped redesigns (the one where he’s a knight & the one w/ a scruffy beard) could be reused as David designs in different realities! his scrapped knight design could possibly be his form whenever he’s in the medieval flower grove pocket dimension if he ever goes there to retrieve the kids or something. 

And here starts my mlp rant. 

Basically one day an idea popped into my mind of ‘how is radiant Hope (a comic book character in MLP with heavy ties to King Sombra) immortal?’ because there was no explanation given. My mind immediately thought ‘the honey of Cora!’ Despite the fact that it does not exist in MLP. And then I thought ‘what if Sombra and Hope were in the BM universe?’ That last thought never amounted into anything except these sketches. And then I thought ‘it MIGHT (emphasis on might) be a good exercise for WORLDBUILDING to put other characters from diffrent shows & fandoms into the BM world see what they would be like in the confides of your own universe & not the other’

 I did read the fiendship is magic and siege of the crystal empire mlp comics when I was younger and Sombra and Hope’s relationship literally kinda got ‘and they were best friends’ by the comics in the end. It ain’t a bad thing, but literally Sombra’s IDW comic mom Rabia was shipping them (she called them emperor and empress for goodness sake). 

Also Hope is apparently ALSO a manic pixie dream girl according to TV tropes. 

Rabia and Sombra’s species (Umbrums) are also lowkey terrifying in their true forms (MLP doesn’t really need an infection au if it itself gets weirdly dark and scary sometimes imo). Sombra also has a little sister named Ira too and her name sounds like something I would come up with in middle school. 

They also shipped Celestia and an alternate reality good king Sombra together earlier in the comics too. (Appreciate this unintentional meme format)

oh & this too:

Sombra’s season 9 (the last season) return wasn’t really much to talk about.

And I will end this ask off with saying there’s about 3 weeks till Amara’s birthday (July 24th). REMEMBER. 

Mlp bm….wait you’re cooking…

[arkosfan]

Time Pass by Titus and Calgar Along Their Brothers Blasting Demons with Their Primarch Robute Guilliman

Moving from day to night, we find ourselves in the new student barracks/dormitories, and the changes and differences for every male and female student are immediately noticeable.

Where once there were hormonal teenagers and idiots, now they were just a shadow of their former selves.

You can see them lying in the fetal position, others in denial, others saying it was a nightmare or an elaborate prank by Arc.

RS: I want My Mommy

RS: This is BULLSHIT, This CAN'T be real, sure it's a Nigthmare

RS: PRETTY FUNNY ARC STOP THIS BULLSHIT!!! ISN'T FUN ANYMORE!!!

Everyone now has a similar black Pijamas for men and women, and those who tried to wear their old ones were punished by sleeping naked on the floor.........Both men and women... with some begging to sleep next to classmates or their lovers, but everyone involved was punished the same.

RS: I CAN'T WEAR THIS!!! IS HORRIBLE!!!! (You can Guess who's)

RS: STOP!!! THEY WILL TEAR YOUR CLOTHES!!!

RS: AT LEAST YOU'RE WEARING SOMETHING!!! STOP LOOKING AT MY ASS!!!

RS: STOP LOOKING AT MY BREAST!!! OF COURSE MY TITS ARE HARD, IMBECIL!! IT'S COLD HERE!!!!

RS: HONEY PLEASE LET ME SLEEP WITH YOU!!!

RS: STOP LOOKING AT MY DICK, IT'S COLD HERE!!!

RS: THE FLOOR IT'S TO HARD!!!

No one dared to help anyone now. That didn't stop them from enjoying the free show, a small consolation for all these poor devils/devils.

Those who chose to find solace in the warmth, lust, and passion of others were granted this small luxury... hell awaited them, and the soldiers already knew that they would either die or become servants first.

Soldier1: Those Brats Will die in the Training Tomorrow.

Soldier2: Yeah, those bastards are fucking like animals Trying to Forget about today.

Soldier3: should we stop those?? They're making an orgy.

Soldier1: No, let them have This tonight, Tomorrow Will be worse.

Instead of separate rooms for teams, they now have common rooms that serve as dormitories for a certain number of students.

Everyone now has their hair cut military-style, with many, especially women, mourning the loss of their beautiful long hair, as they now only have the regulation length.

Yang: My Hair 😥😥😥😥 My Beautiful Hair 😭😭😭😭 *Say While hold her Beautiful Golden Hair........ Or what it left in Her Hands*

Weiss: MY HAIR, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HAIR!?!? GIVE ME MY HAIR BACK!!!! 😭😭😭

Blake: 🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭

Of course, there were those who complained or tried to intimidate with their names or social positions... those ended up bald and may never have hair again.

Many were clutching their stomachs in pain, as after being taken to have their hair cut and their uniforms issued, they were instructed in their new drill routines and military and combat training.

Nora: REN!!! MY 🥞🥞🥞 😭😭😭😭 THEY BURN MY 🥞🥞🥞

Ruby: 😭😭😭😭🍪🍪🍪🍪🍪

Pyrrha: Shhh shh, it's ok Ruby 🥺🥺🥺

Needless to say, they saw how lethal and relentless the Astra Millitarum soldiers are... but unfortunately for them, the commissar forces his soldiers to train with such a brutal regimen that even the other commissars find it excessive....... well, Commissar Arc receives missions from even the Custodes themselves and even from Primarch Robute Guilliman himself.

Yes... these poor bastards were assigned to the commissar who is entrusted with the most difficult and impossible missions that even the Custodes believe are impossible. Hence, he demands so much from his soldiers.

However, since he arrived here and obtained information about this Aura and Semblance... he has forced them to undergo a training regimen that even the Primaris consider Inhuman.......hmp!!! Cowards, his veteran soldiers are awaiting this new training regimen once they manage to obtain all the secrets and information about this Aura for the Soldiers and Astartes, because he has had a vision from the Emperor himself to secure this world!!!!

.

.

.

But he also received a vision of himself... one where he isn't a commissioner or a soldier... but who also possesses an Aura.

He even found information about him in this world....... about his family, something that shouldn't be true since his world died to the Demons when he was still a cadet!

What secrets does this Virgin world hold?

Unexpected Guest Part 2

A/N: none of this is Canon to three Arc’s Au, this is just a rwby shitpost I'd doing with @arkosfan. but if anyone else wish to join in this shitpost writing, you are more than welcome to join in.

The students and the Thems of RWBY and JNPR (minus Jaune) ware all enjoying a nice lunch at the beacons cafeteria, with all the students either chatting with their friends or simply eating their food.

Meanwhile both teams RWBY and JNPR were noticing that their lovable blonde golf ball knight was missing.

Ruby: Hey guys, has any of you seen Jaune?

Weiss: No.

Blake: No.

Yang: Nah.

Nora: Nope.

Ren: I haven't seen him.

Pyrrha: No.

This fact of none of them seen Jaune, has made them to be slightly concerned from their friend/partner/team leader.

Ren: Come to think of it, we didn't saw him in your dorm room when we all woke up.

Nora: Yeah! Fearless leader is always the last to wake up, So why he wasn't in his bed? *gasp* Maybe he was taking… BY ALIENS!!!

Weiss: Seriously Valkyrie. don't be ridiculous, There’s no such thing as aliens.

Nora: YES THERE IS!

Weiss: *rolls eyes* it's obviously that Arc Got himself lost, probably forgot what his left and right was again.

Ruby: WEISS! that's mean. *puffed up her cheeks in the childish way*

At this point Pyrrha, Jaune’s own partner. was beginning to be concerned for her partner/secret crush well-being, which the rest of the group notice this.

Pyrrha: Do you think he's okay?

Yang: Chill out P-money, I'm sure vomit boy is fine. I mean, what could worse hap-

BOOM!!!!

A large explosion blew out the cafeteria doorway, with the entire entrance become nothing but rubble and smoke. All the students and the Thems of RWBY and JNPR We’re cut off guard by the explosion, with some of the students beginning screaming or outright panicking.

???: The path has been cleared, GO! GO! GO!

Ordered a heavy muffled voice as From the smoke emerged a group of heavily armed man that were all carrying heavy weapons that has tubes attach to what it seems to be a some kind of battery backpack on their backs.

???: Search the perimeter, leave no place unchecked!

The mysterious armored men has began perimeter search of the cafeteria, with some of the men unceremoniously slamming the backs of their weapons too any screaming or panicking student that got on their way. while the rest of the men made sure that the students stay put and didn't do anything stupid.

???: *prices two fingers on Vox that was on the sides of his helmet* Sir, the perimeter is secured and the student has been pacified.

As the heavy armoured soldier reported his message, heavy footsteps of letter boots can be heard from the smoke.

A New mysterious figure was slowly emerging from the smoke, But this one was different from the heavy armoured soldiers.

As this person was wearing at what looks like an black and red officers uniform with letter boots and gloves, and a officer cap with a skull on it.

The mysterious figure was slowly emerging from the smoke revealing even more of himself, with the most noticeable thing about him, is the robotic red eye that was glowing brightly in the smoke.

As the figure has finally came out of the smoke, the person has finally revealed to be none other than…

RWBYNPR: JAUNE/ARC/ VOMIT BOY!!!

The now revealed to be none other than Jaune Arc, does supposed Jaune took a long look at all of the students before turning his head towards the heavily armoured soldier.

Commissar Arc: Excellent work captain, you and your man are truly worthy of being Tempestus Scions. You and your man can all be proud of yourself.

Captain: *Gives a salute* Thank you Commissar. me and my man are doing our sworn duty, Sir!

Commissar Arc: As we all are, Captain. as we all are.

The supposed Jaune turned his gaze once again at the student, he cleared his fault. Before beginning to speak again.

Commissar Arc: Attention! students of the Schola Progenium Beacon Academy! I am Commissar Jaune Arc, loyal servant of the golden throne!

The now identified to be Jaune Arc or rather Commissar Arc. His booming authoritarian voice was a echo across the cafeteria, making sure that none student were dare to interrupt him or say a word without his permission.

Commissar Arc: By the will of the god Emperor, me and many others warriors of the imperium were brought here to your world to bring the imperial of truth and the light of the emperor upon your world!

with each word, he said. The student can hear the zealous and relative fanaticism towards this mysterious God Emperor, that he was mentioning numerous time.

Commissar Arc: So with this day forward you're all conscripted into Imperial Guard, you all shall serve the Emperor's will. *intensify his glare* previous instructors and headmaster were relieved after their duties for their incompetence, for not training you into proper protectors of man. *his voice becoming more harsh and loud* So from now on, I am in charge of this Schola Progenium. I will make sure that each and one of you into proper soldiers! *Now speaks with a calm yet threatening voice* But If any of you would dare objecting my or the Emperor's authority,*raises his boltgun* You shall face a dishonourable death!

these last words from the Commissar’s booming speech, has made all students fall in shock and disbelief. But most importantly, the Commissar has made all the students to be on the edge and shake in fear.

Commissar Arc: Now, Does anyone has any questions?

[impossible-rat-babies]

I love videos essays bc it’s like. huh I had feelings on that but thank you for putting it into deeper words and coherent feelings

[phibsies]

something me and my friend joked about back in february

[lululocomo]

I know how you said before that the New Past AU is going to have a lot of MK and Wukong having family bonding time

But Wukong is on the journey

I can imagine MK is gonna have SOOOO many PTSD war flashbacks depending on how far along the journey is

He spots Lady Bone Demon and he just yoinks the staff away from his Dad to beat the crap out of her with the pilgrims in the background just going “:0”

He sees the Brotherhood in Camel Ridge and then he grabs Wukong and starts slowly backing away while hissing like a feral cat

No one knows what the hell is going on but Wukong is kinda reveling in the fact his kid likes him so much that he’d try to protect him

oh yeah MK will deffo attack LBD as soon as he see her, the boy is still traumatise-

Wukong is delighted to see his baby going all protective and seeing him attacking demons dfgfdgf

(ignore how Azure look it's the first time I draw him so he look weird af)