#and it’s only in his last scene where they both lock in bc I think that’s enough time for her to process her OWN trauma and also for her

[swordmaid]

for me… FOR ME..!!! and for shri’iia specifically the lock in for astarion’s romance is his graveyard scene in act 3.

i think it is too quick for shri’iia to be moving on to another relationship considering her previous one was with her mistress who essentially groomed and isolated her for like … more than hundred years. learning to chase her own desires and not moulding herself to what anyone wants her to be is something so new to her…!!! and something that she’s still learning how to be comfortable with….

and what I like abt romancing astarion with her is that I usually go for the dialogue path in his act 2 confession scene where you can ask him:

- what do YOU want to do?

and he goes like honestly idk what we’re doing but /this/ is nice. it just feels like two people exploring the option to love for the first time and taking things in their own pace rather than jumping straight into the relationship. they’re going at a snails pace… they don’t know what they’re doing but they like this feeling and the vibe and they want to more of it but they’re not ready to commit to anything yet and it’s fine for them …!! and they’re only committing by the end in the graveyard scene where significant time has passed and they’ve learnt a little more about themselves and they’re both more confident about their own desires and also how they want to be loved.

like it is so fitting I think… and sweet… not to mention astarion being a high elf & a vampire and shri’iia being a drow, they have all the time of the world for themselves so I def think they would want to take their time. except if shri’iia turns into a mindflayer or drider by the end then that plan is out the window lol

[hoejosatoru]

Roster Hopper - Blue Lock edition

Characters: fem!reader x isagi, chigiri, bachira, barou, rin, otoya, karasu, yukimiya, nagi, reo (all separate beside nagi and reo) characters are 21+, reader's hair color/texture and skin color not specified

Summary: College team AU, where y/n is a manager of the team and bets her friend she can hook up with all the members of the team - without them finding out. This can be read as one entire fic or if you want to jump around I have the name of each character bolded for their part.

Word count: 11.3k help this took forever

a/n: this is the blue lock version of the fic concept I've done with Haikyu teams. I prefer to write characters older but college au makes this easier to so just imagine whatever age you want. Also y/f/n= your friend's name bc I couldn't think of one

Warnings: semi public sex, car sex, fingering, dirty talk, oral, unprotected sex, creampie, spitting, threesome, face sitting, squirting, toy use, finger in ass, chigiri is a sub/calling him good boy, virginity loss for rin, girl there’s a lot we got 10 men to get through so buckle up, also not proof read sorry

"Ugh, I am not going to miss August practices," your friend groaned, fanning herself with a clipboard.

"Seriously," you sigh. Usually you loved being the manager of your college's soccer team. It was a fun position and an easy way to get involved with a sport you enjoyed. Not to mention, your best friend was your co-manager, which meant you always had someone to chat with during practices.

The only time being the manager sucked where days like this, when you had to stand out in the blazing sun. Ego, the coach, made the team come in a week before the semester starts to begin training, which meant long days in the heat.

"Well, it's not all bad," your friend smirked, gesturing to the scene ahead of you. All of the players were currently running around shirtless, sweat dripping down their toned, sun-tanned bodies. The position certainly came with perks.

"Not a bad view, eh?" you replied.

"Ego's really cruel with his no hook up rule," your friend grumbled. You laughed, remembering how awkward the first team meeting you intended when Ego lectured everyone about not having sex with each other because it was a distraction. The players being off the table was definitely a downside of the position.

"I know," you sighed, "How am I supposed to graduate without knowing who's good in bed?"

"Right, like Rin is good on the field, but do you think his skills transfer?" your friend mused.

"Maybe Chigiri likes getting his hair pulled?"

"Do you think Barou makes girls call him the king while fucking?" You both snickered, drawing the attention of Isagi.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing!" you both responded in unison. You both turned away, trying to stifle laughter. As you regained your compsure, a thought popped into your head. You'd gone the past 3 year without breaking Ego's rule, but headed into your final year, you were feeling more daring...

"I have an idea."

"Which is?" your friend asked.

"What if I hooked up with all of them so we could get answers to our question?"

Your friend stared at you, incredulous. "You can't be serious."

"I fear I am," you replied. "Breaking the rules is fun every now and again."

"You'd have to break the rules like 10 times," she countered.

You shrugged. "I've behaved the last few years, I think I'm owed it. Besides, Ego will never find out because I'll make sure they'll keep their mouths shut. They can't know I'm hooking up with the other guys on the team, it would mess with the data."

Your friend rolled her eyes. "I didn't know this was so scientific. I bet it isn't even possible."

"Wanna put some money on that bet?"

"You're on."

You two spend the rest of practice hashing out the details of the bet. You had to sleep with the top ten players on the team, so could figure out who was the best. You couldn't tell them about the bet, nor could you let any of them find out, as it might mess with how good their performance is. You wanted to see how good they are when they didn't know it was a test. But if the team finds out, game over. And if Ego find out... well that was an awkward conversation you were keen on avoiding. You both agreed you had until the end of the school year and winner owed the other $300.

Karasu gave you your first opening. He was trying to convince the guys to go to a frat party with him, but after a week of tough practices no one was interested.

"I'll come with you, Karasu," you said with an innocent smile. "I think some of my roommates wanna go too, we can all go together." You added for the players who may be in earshot. Going alone might raise some suspicions. Karasu jumped at your offer and said he could pick you guys up at 8. Little did he know...

"Sorry Karasu, all my friends bailed," you lied, feigning disappointment. "Hope you don't mind if it's just me." Karasu's eyes raked over your body as you climbed into his car. You wore a mini skirt and a little top, which the glint in Karasu's eyes told you he enjoyed.

Just because Ego had a no hook up rule, it didn't mean the guys didn't look - or flirt - from time to time. Karasu was definitely one of the players that liked to push that boundary.

"Fine by me," he grinned. "We'll still have a good time."

The party, unfortunately, left much to be desired. It was the first big frat party of the year and it was beyond packed. The one drink you had was warm and crappy. Not to mention the music they had blasting sucked. You were barely there an hour when Karasu motioned for the exit.

"I'm sorry I dragged you out for such a shitty party," he sighed when you returned to the car.

"S'okay," you shrugged. "Hey it's still early, why don't we drive around and find a spot to chill for a bit?"

Karasu nodded, his hand on the back of your seat as he threw the car in reverse. "I think I know a spot."

It was only a few minute drive until you pulled up to a private little park, far from the main road. You couldn't believe your luck. You and Karasu slipped into easy conversation for a bit. The longer you spoke with him, the more you realized just how cute he was. You sorta went immune to the team's good looks since you've been around them for so long, but staring only at Karasu for so long reminded you that he was fine.

"What're you thinking about?" you asked him when he went quiet, giving you a particular look that made your stomach flip.

"I'm thinking," he replied, licking his lips, "That you look really good and that I really hate Ego's stupid rules."

"I can keep a secret if you can," you replied, leaning into him.

He held up his pinkie. "I won't tell a soul." You wrapped our pinkie around his with a triumphant grin. "Back seat has more space."

You crawled over the center console, followed closely by Karasu. He could see up your skirt, your ass barely covered by a little lace panty. He could feel himself growing hard as he tried to commit the image to memory.

You let out a little yelp as he playfully smacked your ass. "Sorry, couldn't help it."

You maneuvered to be straddling Karasu's lap. His hands tangled in your hair as he pulled you into a deep kiss. He was shy at all, kissing you with a hunger. You let out a pleasant hum as he nipped at your lower lip.

Your hips stirred over his lap as you felt him growing hard beneath you. Your skirt had completely hiked up around you waist, leaving you covered only in lace. Karasu let a groan as looked down at your clothed cunt pressed against his hard on through his jeans.

"Like what you see?" you teased rolling you hips. The friction against your aching cunt was delicious.

"You're so sexy," he mused, bringing his hands down to squeeze your tits through your top. You mewled, nestling your cunt against his thigh to grind down harder on him. You returned to kissing him as you rocked your hips, the rush of doing something you knew you shouldn't heightened pleasure building.

Your breaths were shortening the more you rolled your hips. You had to break the kiss as you desperately tried to chase your high. "Fuck, you think you could cum just like this?" Karasu asked, an excited edge in his voice.

You bit your lip and nodded, unable to find your voice. Karasu pulled your top down, exposing your boobs. He was greedy, sucking at your nipple and squeezing the other to help you along.

Your head collapsed on his shoulder as your body tensed and relaxed deeply into your orgasm. The breathy moans in Karasu's ear nearly made him come his pants.

"Fuck that was hot," he grinned. "Can I fuck you?" He was already slipping himself out of his pants. His tip was flushed and leaking, looking as needy as he sounded.

"Please." You were just as eager for more, positioning yourself over him. You let out a content sigh as you sunk down on to him.

"Fuck, you're soaked," he groaned, "All that for me?" He let you roll your hips, adjusting to him, but he couldn't hold himself back for long. He placed his hands on the seat, giving him leverage to fuck up into you.

"Karasu!" you cried. The air was thick, windows fogged from your panting breaths. Your hand streaked across the condensation as you tried to stabilized yourself.

It wasn't long before another wave of pleasure surged through your body, squeezing Karasu tightly. He let out a delicious groan as his hips stuttered and released into you. You collapsed onto of him, both of you panting.

"So worth breaking the rules," Karasu grinned. You smiled back, though for more reasons that Karasu realized. 1 down.

****

It had been a couple of weeks since your tryst with Karasu and you'd been holding your breath for Ego to call you into your office, or another player to make some suggestive comment. But there was no indication Karasu let anything slip. Your success emboldened you to set your sights on the next man

Barou always used the team gym later at night, after the rest of team had filtered out. He hated working out with them, complaining that they were loud and obnoxious. You, however, he didn't mind.

You were intimidating by Barou when you first met him, but quickly learned he was all bark and no bite. Well, with women that is. Though he had that tough exterior and an imposing size, he was always respectful towards you.

Truthfully, it was Rin you were most nervous to tackle in this challenge. Though physically less intimidating, he was certainly colder. Though Barou was smart, you had a feeling he would fall into the same pit fall most men do: thinking with the wrong head, so to speak. Rin, however, was more calculated, more observant. You feared he see through your charade. But that was a problem for future you.

You were grateful that Barou let you use the team gym in evenings with him, as you could avoid the crowded campus gym and men that ogled at every woman that walked in. For the most part, you and Barou did your own thing. Sometimes you would spot each other, but really you were just sharing the space with minimal interactions. You knew. Barou liked to do his own thing while working out and didn't wanna push it. Tonight, though, you had other plans.

You donned your cutest workout gear: tiny bike shorts and sports bra in your favorite color. You went about your normal workout, though not going as hard as you normally did so you could keep an eye on Barou. He looked as he normally did during a gym session, shirt off, hair down, wearing only small athletic shorts. He was certainly not making it hard to want him.

Barou was currently at the bench trying to beat his personal record of an incline press. He always had an impressive amount of weight loaded on his bar, but today it looked impossibly heavy. Grunts of frustration echoed in the empty gym as he couldn't quite lift the weight high enough to count as a rep. He set the bar down on the rack with a metallic clang and huff of frustraion. Now was your time.

"You know," you wandered over casually, "I heard that more testosterone can help men lift more.

Barou's brow furrowed. "Does it look like I'm low on testosterone to you?"

You appraised his broad form, thick with muscles, veins snaking down the length of his arms from the pump of his work out. A light layer of sweat made his body sheen. "Certainly not." You shrugged, not letting your true interest show. "Just thought it was an interesting theory. Probably bull shit."

Barou's eyes flickered between you and weight rack You could see the gears turning, the desire to conquer the a weight that would put him far above his teammates. "You'd be willing to try?"

"Sure, why not," you replied. "Could be a cool experiment."

"Alright, c'mere." You did as you were bid, your heart fluttering in your chest beneath his gaze. You slid on to him as casually as you could, your legs straddling his.

Barou was obviously bigger than Karasu, but you could feel the difference even just by being on his lap. His body was thick, forcing your legs open wider to accommodate his width. His muscles flexed beneath you as he shift on the bench to prepare for this lift. You bit down on your lip, hoping he wouldn't notice your blush.

Barou wrapped his hands around the bar, focus etched on his face as he lifted it off the rack. You weren't sure if you were surprised or not that it actually worked. It took some exertion on his end, muscles bulging, skin flushed, grunts that would sound very... suggestive out of context. But he was able to bench the weight for 3 reps, when he wasn't able to get a single one prior.

"Fuck, I can't believe that worked," he panted, setting the weight back down on the rack. When he sat up you were just inches apart.

"Knew you could do it," you said, innocently rolling your hips forward. "You're the strongest guy on the team by far." A little ego stroking never hurt.

"That why you were so eager to sit in my lap?" Barou replied shifting beneath you. You could swear you could feel his cock hardening beneath you. "Could feel you watching me all night." His eyes flickered down your body, taking in your barely covered body. "In this little outfit. Did you put this on for me?"

You batted your eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Barou tsked. "If you asked for what you want, you might get it y/n." His hands, rough and warm, were resting on your outer thighs, leaving no question of what he was suggesting.

"And if I want you?"

His fingers dug into you. "Be careful what you wish for." He pulled you into him, you chest flush against his. His kiss was possessive, dominating. He kneaded your ass as your tongues slid over each other. His skin was hot against yours with only the thinnest layers of material between your aching cunt and his growingly hard cock.

You went to reach between the two of you, to squeeze his length, but Barou gripped your wrist. "I'm in charge here."

"Oh yeah?" you challenged.

In a flash Barou had man handled you into being bent over the bend. "Yeah." He ground his cock against your ass. "That what you want?" You mewled but that wasn't good enough for Barou. He brought his hand against your ass with a sharp slap, making you gasp. "Answer me when I ask you something."

"Yes Barou I want it! Please-" your voice broke off as he pressed his thumb against your clit.

"Good girl." You could hear the smirk in his voice. "Gonna give you what you want." He pulled down your shorts, running his fingers through your wetness. "Soaked like a slut for me, huh?" He slid in two thick fingers inside you. "Gotta prep you for me."

Barou thrust his fingers hard and fast, but not unpleasantly. The pads of his fingers brushed against your gspot, making your cunt throb and spasm. Your ass wiggled back against him, wanting more, to feel him deeper. You were on precipice of an orgasm when Barou yanked his hand away.

You let out whine. "If you're gonna cum it's gonna be around my cock." You peaked back as you heard him shedding his shorts. His cock huge - long and thick, veins running up the sides. Your cunt throbbed with anticipation.

"Fuck." You couldn't contain yourself as his fat tip pressed into you. It ached, but in a sinfully pleasant way. Barou ran his hand down your spine, arching you for him while he gave a few shallow thrusts to adjust.

He quickly picked up his pace, the weight of him behind every thrust. It stole your breath, your cunt drooling.

"Making a fucking mess on me," Barou growled, watching the way you coating his length, dripping down on the bench. "Dirty girl." He gripped your hips, holding you just how he wanted. Your fingers dug into the bench, holding on for dear life as he fucked up.

"Barou I-" You choked out. You couldn't form a sentence with the way he took you.

"Go on and cum, y/n," Barou instructed. "Wanna feel you squeezing me." You wouldn't have been able to hold on much longer anyway at this pace. Pleasure exploded through your body, hot and heavy. Barou growled at your cunt throbbing around him. He fucked you through your orgasm, releasing only at the tail end of your high. The feeling of his hot cum shooting ropes into you prolonging you pleasure.

Barou slipped out of you with a grunt. "We need to clean up." Though he was amused by the mixture of yours releases coating his cock and spilled on the bench, his drive to clean was kicking in. He picked up the towel he brought with him while work out, gently wiping between your legs. It was oddly tender compared to his prior actions.

"Hey Barou, would you mind if we didn't tell anyone about this?" you asked. "I don't want to get in trouble with Ego. Plus, I can only imagine what the other guys would say."

Barou could feel a headache coming just by thinking of what stupid shit his teammates he would say. "I'm not telling them shit."

That was a good enough promise for you. 2 down.

****

The first few games of the season went well. Everyone was happy with the team's winning streak. Well, everyone but Isagi. He has yet to score a goal, which was bugging him incessantly.

"You just need to relax man," Bachira, who scored in today's game, told him. "You stress too much. It messes with your game." You eavesdropped on their conversation, pretending to take account of equipment as they packed their bags to head out.

"That's easy for you to say when you've already scored twice this season," Isagi grumbled.

"Just play better," Nagi yawned, not even bothering to look back at Isagi's disgruntled face.

"Or get laid, that ought to calm you down!" Reo snickered, jogging to catch up with Nagi. Not a bad idea Reo...

"Gee, thanks," Isagi snapped.

"Hey Isagi! Ego wants to talk to you," you called to him.

Isagi sighed. "I'll catch up with you later Bachira." He trudged over to you, looking defeated. "Am I about to get yelled at?"

"Well, I sorta lied." Isagi's brow quirked. "Ego didn't want to talk to you, I did."

"Oh? What's up?"

"Bachira's right," you replied, "I know I'm not a soccer expert, but I've learned a lot from watching. I can tell your game is off from the stress. You're playing stiff."

Isagi sighed. "I know, but the problem is I don't know how to not be. Everyone's scored this season except me. I don't wanna fall behind."

"Maybe Reo was right," you suggested.

Isagi let out a humorless laugh. "Yeah, I'm sure he is. But I don't exactly have any women who are willing to hook up for the sake of my game."

"I would, you know, for the sake of your game," you replied.

Isagi looked shocked. "Are you serious? But Ego's rules."

You shrugged. "He'd never find out, it's not like he’d be there during it." Isagi shuttered at the thought. "Look, as a friend and manager who wants to see the team do well, I'm offering to help. If we don't tell anybody else there's no way we'd get in trouble."

You could see the gears turning in Isagi's head. Best case scenario, he was thinking, he has sex with the hot manager and goes on a scoring streak. Worst case scenario, his play doesn't get any better, but he at least got to fuck the hot manager. He liked those odds.

"Okay, sure. If you really don't mind."

It was just too easy.

You agreed to meet at your place, as your roommate was spending the night at her boyfriend's. Isagi looked anxious as you led him to your room.

"This is supposed to be helping to relax," you commented with an amused smile. You laid on your bed, propped up on your elbows. Isagi eyed you hungrily, but his body was still tense.

"I'm still half expecting Ego to pop out and lecture me," Isagi replied.

You chuckled. "Gonna spend the whole night thinking about Ego or are you gonna come over here and let me take care of you?"

The latter sounded much more appealing, obviously so Isagi crawled on top of you on the bed. "If you change you min-"

"Shh," you pressed your finger to his lips. "Don't stress, just kiss me." You curled your fingers around the back of his neck, pulling him into you. His kiss was tentative at first, but quickly melted into comfortable rhythm.

Isagi palmed your tits, lightly grinding against you. He was hard already, making you smirk. You slid down between your bodies, squeezing him through his sweats. He gasped into the kiss.

"So sensitive,"you noted. "It's been a minute, huh?

"Too long," Isagi replied, pulling his shirt off. You followed suit, stripping yourself from the waist up. He eyed you hungrily, body already relaxing at the sight of you.

"Let's not keep you waiting any longer, yeah?" You hooked your finger into his sweats, tugging them down. His size was average, but he was flushed a pretty shade of pink. He teased your entrance with his tip, nudging at your clit. You let out a pleasant hum.

Isagi pressed in sigh you with a satisfied size. "God, you feel good." His head fell back as he slowly dragged himself in and out of you. He felt like he had to warm up, afraid he would bust too soon after going so long without.

Eventually he picked up his pace. He cupped the back of one of your knees, pressing it up to your chest. The angle pressed him deeper inside you, hitting a spot that made you breathless. "Mmm, so good Isagi."

He cock twitched at his name on your tongue. It spurred him on, snapping his hips faster. The base of him brushed against your clit, building your pleasure with each thrust. You wrapped your arms around his muscular back, letting your nails rake down his skin. The sensation sent Isagi over the edge.

He let out a low curse as his hips stuttered and he spilled inside you. The sensation of warmth filling you, along with the throb of his cock set you over the edge. You sighed contently into his neck as he slowly rode out your highs.

"Thanks for that," Isagi said later as you both redressed.

"You can thank me once you start playing better," you teased.

Low and behold, Isagi scored twice the very next game. He shot a lopsided grin as the team celebrated the win, though no one knew how you were the key to the success. Another one crossed off the list.

****

A few weeks later, your next opportunity arose. The team was lamenting about upcoming midterms, which they have to pass in order to be eligible play on the team.

"I'm screwed for my economics test," Bachira groaned at the end of practice.

"Don't ask me for help, dude. I gotta focus on my stats test or I'm screwed," Karasu replied, leaving Bachira to groan in the grass.

"Are you taking economics with professor Johnson?" you asked.

Bachira perked up. "Yes, he's the worst."

You nodded sympathetically. "For real, I struggled in his class last semester. I could help you, if you want. I still have some old notes."

"Seriously? That would be awesome," Bachira replied.

You met up the following evening at the library. You found a quiet spot deep into the stacks so you and Bachira could focus. He was not kidding when he said he was bad, but slowly you got him up to speed.

You weren't sure if you were reading into things because you had an ulterior motive, but you swore you felt tension. Perhaps it was the setting, the way you had to lean into to each other and speak in hushed voices. Your thighs brushed each others, fingertips brushing the other's hands as you pointed out facts on the page. The scent of him filling your nose, fresh and a little sweet.

"y/n," Bachira said softly, amusement clear in his voice. "You're staring."

You blushed, but used the moment to your advantage. "You're a little distracting."

"Oh yeah?" His hand brushed against your leg. "What should we do about that?"

You leaned in closer, allowing him to brush higher up your thigh. "You wanna take a little break, Bachira?" Your voice was a sweet hum in his ear.

"Was just thinking I need to thank you for the help," Bachira replied. He ghosted over your center, cat-like eyes flicking to yours for any signs of discomfort. When you should none, he applied a little pressure. "I've got some ideas, but might be better somewhere more... private."

"I like the sound of that," you murmured, already feeling yourself growing slick. "But we have to be careful, if someone sees we could get in trouble with Ego."

"Well, Isagi's visting his family tonight, so I have the place to myself," Bachira replied, lazily rubbing light circles over you. "As you for everyone else, it's late now and I doubt we'll see the guys on campus. Plus, I can keep a secret."

You smiled wickedly. "Let's do it."

You both scrambled to pack up your books. You weaved through the stacks, occupied by only a few devout studiers. It was later than you thought, night fully set in. You were grateful for the cover of darkness as you snuck to Bachira's car, both giggling.

Bachira drove with his hand on your thigh, teasing you lightly. Something about the gleam in his eye when he looked at you made you squirm, like you knew he had something good in store. Mercifully, the apartment he shared with Isagi was not far from campus.

You were on each other once the door closed behind you. Bachira kissed you as he led you back to his bedroom. Both your shirts were already off by the time you hit the bed. Bachira climbed on top of you, kissing you playfully as he continued to tease you through your leggings.

Bachira pulled away from the kiss, breathless and pupils wide. "Are you okay with toys?"

"Hmm?" you couldn't comprehend his question through the fog of lust.

Bachira dug through his nightstand, pulling out a little vibrator. You instinctively rubbed your thighs together at the thought of Bachira using that on you. "Can I?"

"Please."

Bachira grinned, sliding your leggings off and returning to you kissing you. He ran his hands up and down your body, giving extra attention to your tits and thighs. Eventually, he flicked on the vibrator, lazily dragging it from the valley of your chest down to the apex of your thighs. He stopped just above your throbbing clit before dragging it back up to the top.

He chuckled into the kiss as you squirmed when the vibrator ran across your nipples. He slid his tongue into your mouth, kissing you damn near stupid as the little bullet went back down your body.

You let out a little sigh into his mouth as he lightly pressed the vibrator to your clothed clit. He teased you with it, giving just enough pressure for it to feel good, but not enough to do anything. Any time he suspected pleasure was building, he pulled it away. Your hips bucked, desperate for more.

"Bachira," he name a plea on your lips.

"I'm being mean huh? Teasing you like this?" he pressed the vibrator harder into you for emphasis, savoring your gasp. "I'm supposed to be thanking you."

Bachira slid your underwear off, licking his lips at the string of arousal. "Fuck, I think I might need a little taste." He settled between your legs, licking up your slit. Your back arched as he sucked at your clit, messy and eager. He flicked the vibrator back on, alternating between licking at your clit and letting the vibrator do the work.

It took only a few moments of Bachira between your legs to send a surge of pleasure through your body. You clawed at the sheets, gasping his name as the feeling consumed you.

"Tastes so sweet," Bachira mused, licking his lips. He wriggled out of his pants, cock heavy and leaking. "Ready for more?" You nodded, eagerly pulling him closer. Bachira ran his cock leisurely through your slick folds. He flicked the vibrator on, running in down the length of him. He let out a low moan as it brushed against his tip.

He slid the vibrator between the two of you. You jolted as the buzz hit your swollen clit. Your cunt clenched around nothing as he continued to rut himself through your slick. You could feel Bachira's cock twitching against you and all you wanted was to feel that inside.

"Need you, fuck-," you gasped. "Inside, please."

Bachira obliged with a grin. "Can't say no to that." He slid into you with ease, on account of how wet you were. He groaned at the feeling of your wrapped around him.

Bachira snapped his hips, gradually picking up the pace. He loved the little sounds you made, proof of how desperate and sensitive you were. He wanted to push it further, flicking the vibrator on and pressing it against your throbbing clit.

You gasped, feeling over stimulated already. The feeling building in you was white hot. "Bachira I'm gonna-" you choked out a sob as gushed all over him, soaking his lower half.

"Fuck that was hot," Bachira replied, fucking you harder through it. He couldn't hold out longer, seeing you soaked and wriggling beneath him. You felt his cock throb as he filled you with a satisfied sigh.

"Sorry about your sheets," you said when you both caught your breath.

Bachira scoffed. "I'm not even slightly upset about that."

You ended up staying the night at his place, but went to practice the next day separately, as if nothing happened. A few days later, Bachira happily announced he passed his test to the team, throwing a sly wink your way. 4 down, 6 to go.

****

It had been a few weeks since the Bachira hook up and, honestly, you had half a mind to just forget the whole plan and go back for seconds. However, the competitive part of you couldn't give up a bet. Not to mention, you were interested in what the other contenders had to offer.

The semester was winding down and you found yourself at a party at the soccer house. Everyone was celebrating finals ending and a season that was successful so far. You wanted to get in one more before break started to put you in a good place to complete the challenge by next year.

As you were scanning the crowd for prospects, Reo caught your eye. He was chatting with Nagi, of course, and you got a weird feeling that they had been looking at you first. Talking about you. You gave Reo an inviting smile, who whispered soemthing to Nagi before jogging over to you.

"Hey, y/n," Reo greeted.

"Did I catch you staring, Reo?" you teased lightly.

He grinned, throwing his hands up. "You caught me. Nagi and I were talking about you, not going to lie."

"Oh? What about?" you asked.

Reo shifted on his feet, a nervous tell. His eyes flickered back to Nagi, who was watching with a flicker of interest across his normally bored expression.

"It's kinda weird."

You shrugged. "I like weird."

"Well," he began, "Nagi and I... we've always wanted to share a girl. You know, a bucket list sorta thing."

"Reo, are you asking me to have a threesome with you and Nagi?" you couldn't keep the smirk out of your voice.

Reo chuckled, "Well, yeah. I know it's random and kinda weird. Don't feel obligated to say yes obviously. We just... think you're hot and cool and were wondering if you'd be down."

What a gift you'd just been given. You didn't wanna look too eager though.

"I'm down, but..." you feigned concern, "Ego's rules... If people found out, it be a disaster."

"Nagi and I won't tell a soul, we promise," Reo assured you. "We're not trying to get you in trouble - or ourselves for that matter."

That easily, you found yourself in Reo and Nagi's shared place off campus. Most of the guys either rented little apartments or shared a house with 4 other guys, but Reo and Nagi a whole house to themselves. Unsurprising, given Reo's wealth. He could easily have the place to himself, but, again, unsurprisingly, he'd rather share with Nagi.

"Wow," you couldn't prevent the word from slipping out as you saw the massive bed Nagi was currently lounging on. He wore grey sweats and a t shirt and looked good enough to already get you excited.

"Glad I went for the king size now," Reo said, ushering you into the room.

"I'm glad you went for it too," Nagi replied, stretching his long limbs. His shirt lifted up, a sliver of skin above his boxers peaking out. Good lord.

"So, how do you wanna..." you trailed of as you sat down on the bed.

"Kiss Nagi," Reo instructed you, authority trickling into his voice.

"Yeah, c'mere," Nagi smiled lazily. Didn't have to tell you twice. You crawled over to the white haired man, who grabbed you when you were in reach. You let out a surprised giggle as he pulled you on top of him, before his lips found yours.

His mouth moved against yours with ease, tongue slipping to brush yours. His large hands settled on your ass, giving little squeezes every now and then. You wiggled your hips in approval, loving the feel of him beneath you. You could feel Reo's on the two of you, watching hungrily as his best friend slid his hands up your shirt.

You sat up, allowing him to pull it off you. You rolled your hips against him, getting him hard beneath you. "Hot," he said, running his hands up your sides before cupping you tits.

You glanced over at Reo, who was obviously hard at the sight of you and Nagi. The way he looked at you two made you cunt throb. "Don't keep us waiting, Reo," you beckoned to him.

The purpled haired man was happy to have an excuse to join. The bed dipped at he crawled over to you. You cupped his face and kissed him while Nagi toyed with you tits. You let out a little gasp as he squeezed your nipples.

"You're hoggin her," Nagi huffed, pulling you back to kiss him again. Reo laid down next to him and you went between kissing both men. Then, when you pulled back for some air, they turned and kissed each other. And fuck it was hot.

You couldn't resist joining in. The three of you kissed, a tangle of lips and tongues. Clothes were shed, hands across bodies, until everyone was breathless.

"Want you on my face," Nagi drawled.

"Think you could give me head during?" Reo asked. He'd been palming himself since you and Nagi started kissing and was desperate for some relief

You nodded eagerly and everyone shifted into a position that would allow everyone to be satisfied. Nagi licked a stripe up your cunt, making you gasp. He attached his lips to neglected clit, sucking. You tried to focus on Reo as you leaned over to kiss down his body. You swirled your tongue over his flushed, dripping tip. You licked up his length before taking him in your mouth.

Reo let out a content sigh as your cheeks hollowed around him. He ran his fingers through your hair, holding it out of your face as your bobbed your head on him. Meanwhile, Nagi continued to devour you, fucking you with his tongue. The moan the escaped you vibrated down Reo's cock, making him groan.

The sound of both of you being pleasured egged Nagi on, his tongue moving faster across your slit and your clit. It only took a few moments more for your to fall apart, cunt clenching around his wriggling tongue. The sensation of you cumming while sucking him off pushed Reo over the edge. His head feel back as he released on your tongue with a satisfied groan.

"Ride me?" Nagi asked when you caught your breath. It wasn't lost on you that Nagi found away to be involved in this without physically exerting himself much, but with what he could do with his tongue, you weren't mad.

Reo slid his hand down your body, wanting a taste of you. He lazily fingered your cunt open. "Fuck, you got her soaked Nagi," he breathed. "Bet she's gonna feel amazing." He sucked your release off his fingers with a pleasant hum.

You were straddling Nagi's hips, holding the base of his cock to line him up to you. He had his hands behind his head, watch you with a lazi grin as you slid down on him. You breathed through your teeth as you stretched around the size of him. He was easily one of the biggest so far.

"Mmm, just like that," Nagi drawled as you rolled your hips. Reo slid behind you, wraps his arms around to play with your tits. He tweaked your nipples, making you yelp. "Oh she liked that, Reo. Can feel her squeezing me."

Reo chuckled against your skin, continuing to palm your breast while your rode his best friend. Nagi cock twitched at the side of Reo kissing and touching you. "I think she'll really like this," nearly purred. His hand slid down your body, finding your aching clit.

"Fuck," you cried as he rubbed quick circles over the bud. Your hips stuttered as you tried to keep pace despite the bubble of pleasure growing in your tummy. Nagi finally decided to help you out, gripping your hips to fuck up into you. The sensation of him deep inside you as Reo toyed with your clit burst that bubble, euphoria flooding your veins.

Nagi fucked you through the orgasm, chasing his own high. You were totally spent, but that didn't stop of the boys from playing with you. A familiar sensation built up, but you didn't even have the voice to warn them before gushing all over.

"Fucking hell," Nagi groaned at the sight of you squirting on his cock. His release hit him immediately, pressing deeply into you one last time to fill you.

"God that was hot," Reo said. He helped you off Nagi, as your legs were like jelly. He ran to get a towel, helping you both clean up.

"So, did that live up to your bucket list expectations?" you asked.

Both men grinned. "Definitely."

Little did they know, they helped you with a list of your own.

****

You let out a sigh as you checked your phone. Isagi lost his wallet. Again. Practice had ended about an hour ago, but he knew you'd be around organizing all the equipment, which is why you got a text begging you to check the locker room. Of course you would, but not without telling him he's an idiot in desperate need of some air tags.

Typically you didn't go in the locker rooms, since that is where the guys changed, but with practice long over, you felt it was safe. You swept through the few rows of lockers, spying no wallet. You were texting Isagi as much when someone stepped out from the shower area.

"Y/n?" Otoya questioned. He was clad in nothing but a towel, which was hanging dangerously low on his hips. His hair was wet and messy, water droplets were rolling down his toned body. You fought the urge to lick your lips.

"Shit, I'm sorry Otoya," you said, "I thought everyone left. Isagi asked for me to look for something."

He chuckled, seemingly unbothered he was practically naked in front of you. "Let me guess, he lost his wallet."

You nodded. "You'd be right. I'm really sorry, though, I didn't mean to intrude."

He shrugged. "No worries, it doesn't bother me. Hell, I may have asked you to join me if I knew you were here." He tossed it out like a joke, but you could sense a current of truth.

You knew Otoya was a bit of a flirt, so you felt like it was worth the risk to be bold back. "That's too bad, I would have absolutely taken you up on that."

Otoya's eyes widened, clearly surprised his stupid flirting was actually getting him somewhere. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," you nodded, "I mean, look at you. I can't say no to that."

"I mean... I'm thinking I actually need another shower," Otoya replied, "If you care to join."

"Only if you think we won't get caught... you know how Ego is," you replied. This would definitely be risky, even though everyone should be long gone. It was a thrilling thought, pushing the boundary of what you could get away with.

"I'm the last guy here," Otoya assured you, "And I won't tell. I don't Ego on my ass more than he already is."

"Guess I won't be needing these, then." You slipped out of your leggings. "Or this." You pulled off your shirt, leaving you in just your underwear.

"Shit, I think I might be dream." Otoya eyed you hungrily. You giggled as he took your hand, pulling you to the showers. Luckily, Ego put a lot of money into the team's facilities, so the showers were actually quite nice - nothing like the typical grimy locker room showers.

Otoya stepped inside the stall, turning the shower on to a nice, warm temperature. He turned to you, beckoning for you to join him. You closed the curtain behind you, pulling him into the small dry are for a kiss. Otoya happily wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into his body. His muscles were warm and firm against you and you could already feel him growing hard through the towel.

He pulled away from you, dropping the towel with a confident grin. You could see why - he was well endowed. He stepped under the water, reaching out his hand to you. "C'mon, I wanna get you wet," he said with a teasing smirk.

You laughed coyly as you shed your bra and panties, Otoya's eyes on you the whole time. The warmth of the water pulled a sigh from you as you returned to kissing him. He pulled away, grinning wickedly as an idea hit him. He lathered up some soap in his hands, rubbing it across your tits.

"You look good like this," he mused at the bubbles coating your skin. The soap allowed his hands to guide over you easily, making it more fun to play with your tits as he kissing you.

He pressed you against the stall wall, his thigh sliding between your legs. You mewled at the feeling of his strong muscle against your needy cunt. He slipped his free hand between you two, toying with your clit. You hummed pleasantly when he slid tow fingers inside, working you open for him.

"God, you're soaked," he said, voice strained. "Can't wait any longer."

"Don't keep me waiting then." You nipped at his lips as he pumped his length, before pressing into you. You gripped his shoulders as he split you open. He gave long, slow strokes as you adjusted to the feel of each other. His pupils flared open as he watched himself slide in and out of out.

Before you knew it, he cupped his hand under your knee, holding it up so he could get deeper inside you. You moaned in satisfaction at the feeling. You knew you should be quiet - you were still in the team locker room even if they should be gone, but you couldn't help yourself.

Otoya loved it, pumping into you harder to pull more noises out of you. His eyes flickered to the detachable shower head, a wicked gleam shining in them. He took it from the wall, aiming the gush of water at your clit.

"Shit," you cried out at the sudden surge of stimulation. "S-so good." You were breathless as your nails dug into him, desperate to hold on.

"Don't hold back," he panted. "Wanna hear you cumming my name." Your leg wrapped around him in response, pulling him closer as you tipped over the edge. Your orgasm hit you hard, the added stimulation of the shower head making it intense. If it wasn't for Otoya holding you up, your knees would have given out.

The sound of his name on your lips as your squeezed him broke his stamina. Otoya slowed as he milked his orgasm, filling you with all he had.

You were both flushed and giddy as you cleaned each other up in the shower. Otoya tossed you a towel after, grinning. "Any time you need a shower buddy, give me a call."

"Will do," you smiled. 3 more to go.

****

The second semester was progressing and while you only had 3 men left to get through, you felt the pressure to get this bet completed. You were still concerned about Rin, and decided you would tackle him last. You were keeping your eyes and ears open for opportunities for the other two, which Yukimiya thankfully gave you.

You shared a favorite band, who were dropping a new album. Yukimiya invited you over to his place to listen to it. He had record player and a great set of speakers, making the music sound heavenly. You both sat on his bed, letting the songs wash over you.

"I think this is their best album yet," Yukimiya commented as it came to an end. You nodded in agreement as you both launched into a discussion about the music. All the while, you drifted closer to each other, thighs and hands brushing each other. Even if it wasn't for the bet you were working on, you would feel drawn Yukimiya. He was handsome, sweet, and fun to talk with.

"What?" you asked when you noticed him staring at you.

"Nothing," he said with a sheepish grin, "You're just pretty."

You didn't have to fake the blush or the smile that crept across your face. "Thanks, for what it's worth, you're cute."

"Cute enough to break some rules?" Yukimiya suggested playfully.

You feigned offense. "Did you invite me here just for that?"

"Not just for that," Yukimiya teased back, "But I would be lying if I didn't it's something I wanted."

"And I said I wanted it too?" you dropped your voice to a slightly more sultry tone. Yukimiya shifted closer to you at the sound.

"I would say if no one finds out, it doesn't matter if a rule is broken."

"Mmm, I like the way you think." He cupped your face a pulled you in for a kiss. He was slightly more reserved than the other men you'd kissed, but still confident and purposeful. Like he wanted to enjoy himself, but not rush through it. There was something about the slowness that drove you mad, desperate for more.

"Someone's eager," Yukimiya mused as your ground against him. He ran his thumb over your bottom lip, swollen from kissing. "Guess I should get you out of these." He took your shirt in his hand, pulling it off, before peeling off your pants.

"This what you wanted?" He asked as he rubbed light circles over your clothed cunt. A bemused smile played at his lips as he felt your underwear growing damp.

"Want more," you breathed, kissing at his neck as he toyed with you.

"Look at yourself," Yukimiya said, turning your so your back was flush his front. You were facing the mirror across from his bed. Your skin was flushed, the wet spot on your panties glaringly obvious. Yukimiya was peering at you from over your shoulder, a mischievous grin on his face. "So pretty when you're needy."

He pulled your underwear to the side, sliding his fingers through your wetness. He let out a pleased sigh as he slide two digits in, lazily stroking. Once they were coated in your slick, pulled them out to toy with your clit.

"You're good at that," you huffed breathlessly as he worked you up with his fingers. Going back and forth between fingering your cunt and stimulating your clit. The slow, steady increase in his pace had your cunt drooling and desperate for release.

"Fuck you're soaked," Yukimiya groaned, his eyes were glued to the mirror, watching his fingers slide in and out of you. "Gonna cum for me? Make a mess?"

"P-please, want it Yuki," you babbled, so close to the high you wanted. Yukimiya guided you there easily, cursing as your cunt clenched around his fingers and your body shuddered. He licked his lips watching you drip on to his lap.

He was already shifting beneath you, slipping himself out of his pants and boxers. Now he was feeling desperate, wanting to know what it felt like to be buried inside you. "Not done with you yet."

"Good, because neither am I," you replied. You leaned forward and arched your back, making it easier for him to slide inside you. You both mewled with pleasure. You rocked your hips, feeling his cock slide through your walls. You throbbed at the sight of you fucking yourself on him in the mirror.

Yukimiya couldn't tear his eyes away either, though he was looking down directly at where he slid inside you. He wanted more, to make you cum harder on him. You heard him spit before you felt it drop on your ass, warm and wet. He gripped your ass with one hand, while a finger of the other circled the tight hole.

"Oh fuck-" you gasped as he pressed his finger in your ass. That addition alone sent a jolt of pleasure through you, making each grind of your hips more intense. Yuki was transfixed at the sight of him filling you, loving the sounds you made.

You didn't last long after that, his name spilling from your lips as you practically collapsed from the intensity of the climax that hit you. It was light and heavy at the same time, making your head swim.

"Shit y/n," Yukimiya groaned, his cock twitching inside you. "You're like heaven." His head feel back with a groan as he spilled inside you, a beautiful sight for you to watch in the mirror.

Yukimiya helped clean you up before you parted ways with promises to discuss the album more when you weren't so... distracted. A surge of excitement hit you when you realized how close you were to winning.

****

The Blue Lock team made the playoffs, so, naturally, a party was in order. The house rented by some of the team members was filled with players and their friends, yourself included. Everyone was a bit drunker than normal, celebrating a successful season and boasting about all the goals they would score in the championship game.

You chuckled as you observed the scene, practically tasting the testosterone from all the posturing. Normally, you would have thought the team house was way too risky, given all the other guys around that could be potential witnesses. But tonight, there was enough of a crowd - and more than enough alcohol - that you were certain, given the right circumstance, you could pull it off. Your body tingled with excitement as you considered your options.

"Hey, y/n," Karasu grinned. He loved to be a little flirty with you, even though it's been months since you hooked up with him. "Were playing spin the bottle in the basement. Wanna come?"

Well, that was certainly an opening. "Sure."

You followed him down to the basement, where a sizable circle was formed on the floor. Some of the faces your recognized, some you didn't. Your eyes flickered Chigiri, who smiled shyly at you. You gave him a coy smile as you settled into a spot.

It took awhile for the bottle to work its way around to you. It was an endless cycle of spinning glass, teasing and giggling as the match made their way to the closet, where they spent 5 minutes kissing. Though, with the flush and panting of a few that left you wondered if they were using their time for a bit more.

When it was your turn, you had to hold in the cheer you wanted to let out as the bottle settled on exactly who you wanted. "Guess it's my lucky day," Chigiri flirted. You grinned; if only he knew how true that was for you.

You both made for the closet, sliding into a heated darkness as the door shut behind you. You felt Chigiri's hands on your waist as you wrapped your arms around his neck. His lips were soft and almost sweet. You wouldn't be surprised if he was wearing some sort of cherry chapstick.

Chigiri was a little shy and tentative as he kissed you, which somehow spurred you on more. You stepped forward, pressing him against the wall. He moaned into your mouth as your body rubbed against his. The sound of it - practically a whimper - unlocked something in you.

You pulled away, just barely able to see the needy look Chigiri gave you through the darkness. "Are you hard, Chigiri?" you purred, ghosting your hand across his jeans.

"S-shit, I'm sorry." he mumbled.

"No need to apologize." You traced circles over the bulge in his pants. "Makes me wish we had more time. I could take care of that for you."

"Really?" he perked up.

"Of course," you replied. You nuzzled against his neck, kissing him. "Wanna make you feel good." You could feel him gulp at your words.

"Maybe...maybe we could go to my room after?" he was struggled to keep his voice even with how your lips brushed against his skin.

"We'd have to be sneaky," you replied, "Don't want us getting in trouble, you know?" Chigiri, unsurprisingly, was on board with whatever you wanted. You a made to go back to the circle, where Chigiri would go back to his room after a round. You would wait 3 more rounds before joining him, as to not arouse suspicion.

That plan led you to Chigiri's room about 10 minutes later, where you found him waiting on the bed for you. You practically pounced on him, not holding back how deeply you wanted to kiss him. Chigiri settled on the bed beneath you, letting you take control.

You stripped him down to his boxers, peppering kissing along his exposed skin. You sat back, admiring how Chigiri looked: skin flushed, hair haloed around him, and a needy gleam in his eye.

"You're so pretty, Chigiri," you hummed, running your finger down his chest. You toyed with the waistband of his boxers, watching him squirm.

He blushed at your compliment. He's not used to being called pretty as a guy, but he liked how it sounded coming from you. He liked even more that you were dipping your hand into his boxers, running your finger down his hard length.

"Bet you'd look even prettier cumming for me," you mused, pulling his boxers off. His tip was flushed a pretty shade of pink and already leaking. "Would you like that?"

"Please," he urged, voice strained with anticipation. You obliged, spitting into your hand and pumping him. You paid extra attention to his tip, swirling your finger over the tip and spreading his pre. You leaned down to press a kiss to it, making him whimper. The sound, the desperation caused your own arousal to pool between your legs.

"So sensitive," you hummed. You pumped his faster, giving an extra squeeze to work him up. You pushed to the point of the edge, just to slow down and hear him whine. You could keep it up for hours, but the desperate way he looked at you wore through your patience.

"F-fuck y/n, 'm-m close," Chigiri stumbled over his words.

"Cum for me, Chigiri," you purred. You watched as his tummy dipped from the effort of his release. He whimpered loudly as he came all over you hand and his tummy. "Good boy."

Chigiri let out a little whine at your words. He already getting hard again as he watched you lick up his release. You made your way back to his lips. You finally started to remove your clothes, letting Chigiri catch his breath and feel your body. By the time you were bare, he was rock hard again.

****

The energy in practice was tense, despite the team having won the semi finals and punched their ticket to the championships the night prior. The game, however, had been way too close, entering over time. Blue Lock got won by the skin of their teeth, thanks to the tie breaking goal by Rin.

"You idiots better not play like that in the finals," Rin snapped at the end of practice.

Barou bristled. "I could win the whole damn championship myself."

"Oh yeah? We only won yesterday because of my two goals," Rin fired back. "If it wasn't for me you'd be watching the championship from the stands."

"We all contributed, Rin," Isagi intervened. "You acting like a pompous ass isn't going to win us the championship."

"Nobody asked you, Isagi," Rin practically spot.

"Don't waste your breath, Isagi," Karasu butted in, a mean glint in his eyes. "Rin's just miserable because the only place he can score is on the field."

The group snickered as Rin's scowl deepened. You were surprised at the insinuation - was Rin a virgin? It was somewhat hard to believe given his good looks as status as one of the best athletes in campus but that look on his face...

"Whatever," Rin grumbled, heading away from the group. "When you all have to watch me score a hat trick in the finals, you'll wish you trained more instead of acting like fools."

Everyone dispersed after that and you waited a few minutes before following Rin to where you knew he was heading - the yoga room. He was the only one on the team who used it, so you knew you'd find him alone. You joined him on occasion, which he tolerated because you were pretty good at it and didn't bother him.

You knew this was your only shot and, frankly, the only time you felt nervous in this whole ordeal. If anyone was going to say no to you and blow this whole thing it would be Rin. But it was now or never.

"Hey Rin," you greeted. He was already seated on a mat. He gave you a grunt in reply. "Sorry those guys were such assholes to you."

Rin shrugged. "They're idiots. I don't care." Something in his voice told you he might care despite his cool exterior, so you continued.

"They are," you nodded, "But if you wanted those idiots to be wrong, I could help."

His eyes slid to you. "What do you mean?"

"The whole not scoring off the field thing," you replied. "Maybe I'm overstepping, but if what they said it true and you don't want it to be, I would be down."

"Are you offering to sleep with me?" Rin asked. "I don't need pity, you know."

Shit. You had to stay calm. "It's not pity, you're a good looking guy and the best on the team. Why wouldn't I?" You could see the slightest shift in his eyes, so you continued. "Besides, these guys think they're so smart. It would make them look stupid if they were dogging you for something that wasn't even true."

Rin was silent, mulling your offer over. His gaze was intense, but you knew you couldn't look away, couldn't show weakness. Rin was a perfectionist, if he thought you weren't up to his level, he would certainly say no.

"Okay," he said finally. You bit back a cheer. "But I don't want them knowing it was you. I don't need them thinking I got pity sex."

You could have kissed him for making it so easy. "That's fine with me." You made arrangements to meet at his place later that night. He was not one for wasting any time, apparently. His apartment was just how you expected: neat and orderly.

He sat on his bed, looking up at you with a look in his eye you'd never seen before.

"Are you nervous, Rin?" you asked, incredulous.

His brow furrowed. "No." But he couldn't stop the tint from from rising in his cheek.

"We don't have to you, know you," you said. Sure, it would suck to lose, but you wouldn't want it at the cost of making him uncomfortable.

"I'm not nervous," Rin reiterated. "Let's just get it going, okay?"

You rolled your eyes, but sat on the bed next to him. "So romantic."

The kiss was a bit tentative and stiff at first, but Rin slowly warmed to your rhythm. You spent some time like that, just letting him get used to you and not forcing anything too soon. Eventually, Rin's hands ventured to your body, feeling you up. You took it as permission to put your hands on him, climbing into his lap.

This kiss became progressively heated as you explored each other. You ground against him lightly, pulling stifled groans from Rin. He grunted impatiently, pulling at your clothing. You obliged his silent demand, getting your top off. You leaned over him, forcing him to lay back on the bed. He kept his eyes cool and almost bored, but you didn't miss the bob in his throat as he took in the sight of your tits.

"How far have you gone?" you asked, sliding your hand up under his shirt.

"I've fingered a girl," he told you.

"Oh? So is the soccer guy good with his hands?" you teased.

"I guess you'll find out," he replied, pulling you into him. He was growing my sure of himself now, sliding his hand between your legs. He teased you through your leggings as your tongues tangled. Eventually, he found his way inside your pants.

He didn't disappoint by jamming his fingers into you, as you'd fear a virgin would. He took the time to work you wet, before slipping two fingers inside. He pumped them confidently, finding the spot that made your breath hitch.

"Sounds like the soccer guy is good with his hands," Rin mused. You didn't protest as you let him work you up to an orgasm. He rubbed your clit in circles as pleasure rushed your body, making you cry out.

"You know, I'm surprised you are virgin," you commented as you caught your breath. He was good at that.

Rin shrugged. "I was focused on soccer."

You couldn't help but laugh at that, which made Rin scowl. However, he didnt' seem to care anymore as your stripped both of you of the rest of your clothes. "I'm gonna need you to focus on me now," you flirted. "At least for a few minutes."

Rin scoffed. "I'll last more than a few minutes."

You grinned. "Well see about that."

You couldn't lie, it felt good to see the Rin Itoshi falter beneath you as you pressed him inside you. The warmth and wetness was like nothing he had ever felt before. As you moved your hips, there was a flare of panic in him that he would, in fact, spill in you immediately. However, he refused to give you the satisfaction, nor hurt his own pride.

"You feel good Rin," you moaned, putting a little extra emphasis on it just to tease him. Despite your teasing, Rin was holding together better than you expected. He quickly learned your rhythm, finding a way to match your thrusts and press deeper inside you. It shouldn't surprise you, given how Rin approaches soccer. He was never passive about anything, needing to be the best at any new skill he learned.

"Fuck," he huffed, a crack in his calm facade. The feeling of you squeezing him was quickly wearing down his restraint. You were egged on by this show of weakness, bouncing on him even faster. Rin, not to be bested, found your clit once against and circled the sensitive bud.

When your second release hit you, it broke Roin too. The feel of your already tight cunt clamping down on his aching length was too much. He cursed again, fingers digging into your skin as he spilled inside you.

"Honestly, I thought people were over hyping sex," Rin commented as you both redressed, "But now I kind of get why those guys are such idiots about it."

You snorted. "I'm just happy I could help." But even more happy that you just won yourself a bet.

****

"I have to know, who is the best!" Your friend demanded.

"I got a top five for you," you smiled wickedly, excited to share your findings.

In 5th place was Chigiri. You never thought you'd enjoy being the more dominant one, but you thoroughly enjoyed taking charge of Chigiri.

"Of course that pretty boy liked that," your friend grinned.

In 4th place Barou. A bit rough, but he knew how to make it good. Plus, he was by far the biggest on the team.

"Barou having the biggest dick is shocking to no one," you friend commented.

3rd place was a tie between Nagi and Reo. Because you had them together, it was too hard to place them individually. Despite how much you enjoyed yourself, it also felt unfair to rank them higher since they had partner. But fairness be damned they earned a spot on the list.

Your friend sighed wistfully, wishing that she too could find herself between Nagi and Reo.

2nd place went to Yukimiya, which did not shock your friend at all.

"He's so fine, I could have told he'd be up there. But, then who's number one?"

"The winner is..." you made a little drum roll. "Bachira." You had not been able to stop thinking about how he so easily he toyed your body. How easily he pulled out the best orgasm out of you.

"Damn, who knew he had it in him?" you friend commented. "Guess I'm not that surprised he's a freak, though."

"Definitely not surprising, but very appreciated." You smiled, not just because you were a couple hundred dollars richer from winning this bet, but because you were already plotting how you could get some seconds.

[choerrysjubiles]

Not Yet

pairing: ningning x fem!reader

warning: no smut but a brief post-sex scene, comphet ning :/ also cheating, light? angst, alcohol

wc: 1k

a/n: wanted to wait to post this bc pride month should be filled with cool people and happy fics! but the song is really good so i kinda wanted to post this hehe

EDIT: part two >:)

song: Sometimes Sunshine - Seasalt

"It'll happen one day but just not yet."

Not yet.

Those were the only words you could think of when you saw Ningning. You’d love to walk up and kiss her, to hold her and lift her chin to keep eye contact with her. Where you could tease her and sneak a kiss onto her face before she’d laugh and playfully push you away.

So often have you thought about that.

The idea of being something solid with her. To call her and talk for hours, to sleep over without the stress of sneaking out before someone comes by. You’ve never been a dreamer, you knew how hard it was to find long lasting relationships. Break-ups happening out of mutual disinterest or from convenience.

But to be taunted by her during every party and hang out. To always be reminded of Ningning and her boyfriend. The thought makes your stomach turn. A girl you’re so fond of, who’s so fond of you.

“Just not yet.”

You could still hear the ringing in your ears. You’d both been flirty, longing stares and holding onto one another for a second longer. You asked her what could be between the two of you.

“I’d like that.” She said, her breathing evening out.

You were a little shocked, you realized how much you were anticipating her words, how much you were begging her to like you back. In a relationship, too, not just hookups or something in between.

“But,”

You looked towards her.

��I just need to figure things out with my boyfriend.”

You nodded.

You can’t deny you’ve had the occasional hookup with taken, straight girls, but it’s never gone on for this long. You’ve never gotten this attached.

Even now, you feel something tug at your heart when you watch Ningning and her boyfriend show off their pda at your friends party. You take another sip of your terrible alcohol, trying to distract yourself from their show.

“Are you alright?” Someone’s voice asked you.

“Yeah, just stressed lately.”

“Drink some more, we have plenty of booze.”

You took their offer, pouring some more alcohol, probably mixing a terrible concoction before drinking it.

The buzz felt a bit better. But you’re more worried drinking will make you focus in on your weird relationship with her. So you stood up and walked around, stating you “need some fresh air.”

You walked around, looking through your friends house. You watched people move around from room to room, moving from their kitchen to bedrooms to their backyard. Having quick conversations with drunk people asking where so-and-so are.

You were finally clearing your Ningning headache when she appeared behind you. Grabbing your waist to pull you into a bathroom.

She locked the door before kissing your jaw and neck.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” She sighed, wrapping her arms around your waist, feeling your back.

“Ning.”

Your voice sounded far more irritated than you anticipated. She pulled away.

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend to be doing this with?”

She laughed, “What are you talking about, he can’t pleasure me to save his life.”

She leaned in before your arm stopped her. Situated below her collarbones, holding her some inches away from you.

“You shouldn’t be doing this.”

Her laugh sounded more forced, lighter and airy, “Why not?”

“You said we couldn’t be together-”

“Yet.”

“Yet.” You repeated, your stomach was turning as this conversation continued.

“We can’t be together yet.” She smiled at you, hoping her cheery expression could change everything.

“Ning.”

“What? We can be together later, but right now-”

“Right now your boyfriend is wondering where you are.”

Ningning paused, a little shocked you brought him up, “You’ve never cared about him before.”

She started walking backwards, moving to lean against the counter.

“You’re cheating on him and you don’t even care.”

“You’ve helped girls cheat plenty of times before.”

“Yes but those were one night stands with strangers.”

You wanted to leave. This bathroom felt stuffy, you needed air and some water to clear your mind. Still, you stood in there sipping your alcohol. Your mind ruminating through all the empty promises of something you could be together, followed by all the sights of her with her boyfriend.

You liked Ningning, hell, you could even say you’re in love with her. But this was too much.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“What?” She walked closer to you.

Ningning wanted everything confidential, she wanted secrecy. You wanted to know whether or not she liked you. You weren’t against being with her if it meant you were together. If she broke up with him or broke up with you, then you could continue on. But this back and forth between the two, it was irritating.

“Are we going to be something?” You asked.

“Something?”

“Are you ever going to break up with him? Or is this going to be another summer of dragging me along, hoping I can still sneak off to get you off?”

Ningning stayed silent, her nervousness was obvious. The way she looked around the baseboards of the bathroom, her hands holding each other, pinching and twiddling her fingers together.

“This is exactly the problem, Ning.” You scoffed, “If we’re going to be together then we have to be together.”

Your hand moved to unlock the door, “I don’t care how long it will take. You don’t have to tell others but just break up with him. You can’t do that? Being single isn’t an option? You don’t even like him.”

“But-” She cut herself off.

“I need some space then.” You said.

Ningning looked up at you, eyes shocked as you began leaving the bathroom.

“If we’re not going to be together then I don’t wanna sneak around. I want to be with someone who wants me.”

“I do want you.”

“Not enough, obviously.” You replied.

You began walking out, “When you decide to get rid of him, call me.”

You walked downstairs, walking past your host to say you’re not feeling well.

“Do you need a ride?”

“I called a driver, already, it was a good party, though.”

They hugged you, “It was nice seeing you, I hope you feel well, y/n.”

You nodded, stepping outside to call some cab service and rest.

[somewheremillo]

Ivantill and Till looking at Ivan

I keep thinking about the fact that Till WOULD look at Ivan, and he saw him for him but Ivan never saw it. They always missed each other’s gaze.

Black Sorrow:

In Black Sorrow, the audience witnessed Till's pained expression when choosing to turn back, but Ivan never even saw him look. All Ivan saw was Till running back to the garden. And the audience knows that the only thing Ivan truly wanted was for Till to look at him to see him, and the tragic thing is he did. Till's expression lets the viewer see that Till cares for Ivan and knows turning back will hurt him, but he does anyway. They never explain why he turned back, but it can be inferred he didn't want to leave Mizi behind, and I'm sure that's what Ivan thought it was as well.

Blink Gone:

Till saw Ivan for who he was; he saw him as Ivan and that was the person who haunted him. Till hallucinating Ivan in the Black Sorrow outfit, he was hallucinating Ivan when he was professing his love for Till (this being one of the only times Ivan shows his true emotions/self). He's also not smiling, showing how Till knew how few times he genuinely smiled in his life.

In the second image, Ivan is in his outfit from Cure, and he's pulling his chin up so he can look at Till in the eyes, and when they meet eyes, Ivan smiles (ofc this is luka manipulating Till by imitating Ivan but the audience sees this through Till, hence why they see Ivan). Ivan smiling when he locks eyes with Till is another example of Till seeing Ivan for who he was.

The last image shows Till utterly horrified with an identical expression on his face to Mizi's in Ruler of My Heart. All he sees is Ivan, forgetting where he is or what he's doing, thinking of round 6 probably realizing his feelings as well but in seconds Till sees Mizi and snaps out of it.

Karma:

In Karma their whole dynamic was flipped on its head even tho the scene is a few seconds long.

In this scene the viewer can see Till reaching for Ivan’s hand and his face lighting up immediately when he found it, as he felt reassurance bc he could feel that Ivan was there and he wasn't alone. This scene also gives us one of the few genuine smiles from Ivan. After Till finds Ivan's hand you can see his face shoot up to look at Ivan's. Ivan looks confused for a second but when he sees Till's smile, he looks equally as happy. Till looking up to look at Ivan again shows how Till does in fact look at Ivan this conveys Till's fondness for Ivan as both of their glances are reciprocated. This could also be a metaphor for them sharing mutual feelings but not having enough time as they are falling to (presumably) their deaths.

This scene also shows Till seeking comfort with physical touch. This is shown several times in the series (with Ivan being the one to provide it to Till in more subtle ways (I can elaborate on this in a later post)). But Till initiating something like holding hands with Ivan is something that surprised him. Ivan was always the one to try and get closer to Till no matter how old they were. Ivan would make a conscious effort to get physically closer to Till, and tho most of the time Till wouldn't be receptive to this Ivan knew that it was the thing that Till found most comforting.

This scene feels like “what if they didn’t constantly misunderstand each other.” Bc even tho this scene is extremely short, you can feel that they both have an understanding that they will be there for the other unlike in the main timeline. Many times in the main timeline Ivan would look for reassurance in Till but he would always be too late. Same thing with Till, he always thought that Ivan was weird and emotionally out of reach. Till thought he didn't understand Ivan. What he realized too late was that he did understand Ivan he was just missing a piece of information that made everything click (Ivan's feelings).

Thank you for reading!

[assassin-artist]

Just found your blog today and really enjoyed reading about your OC. I'm curious about how some of the early fights would go with them working together.

Would Mercy also freeze up during the first Flaxan invasion? Would Allen keep fighting or is 2v1 against the Coalition's evaluation rules? Battle Beast... well she's probably going to need a new jacket.

Ellie visiting the hospital after the Battle Beast fight:

maybe that was her last jacket. maybe she finally had to phase the jacket out of her hero suit bc she didn't have any more... anyway, some rambling under the cut (:

During the Flaxan fight: She was there, of course - it was her and Mark's first real fight against the bad guys, and both of their first experiences with seeing civilians get hurt and die. I think she was just as terrified and overwhelmed as Mark had been during the fight, but instead of freezing up because he didn't know where to begin, she would have just gone for the closest/the first problem she saw that needed fixing. So she wouldn't have frozen up like her brother, but she was definitely making mistakes and not being where she needed to be. Mercy would have been pretty disturbed by seeing the aliens die, though, something that we didn't really see much of from Invincible or the Teen Team... Maybe because it's easy to differentiate between human = protect, alien = destroy for them.

During the Allen fight: I don't think Ellie would have been there for that one. She wanted to be there - when they got the news that an old enemy of their dad was approaching Earth, Mark and Ellie both volunteered to go in his stead because he was still healing. But I think Nolan would have said that he's not tough enough to need both of them - so Mark went alone simply because he volunteered first. I think the first time Ellie meets Allen in person is when Mark brings him to the dorm room to sift through Nolan's books for information - she gets a call from a very freaked out William that there was an alien in the room with her brother, and she hurries over. And the first thing she does is scold her brother for not locking the door and closing the windows when he had a whole ass alien in the room with him, and then Allen would say something like 'oh! you must be mercy! invincible has told me about you (:' just trying to break the tension but oops! Now Ellie turns to Mark and goes "you told someone my identity?!" and scolds him for that, too. No it doesn't matter if he's an alien and he's not gonna tattle to anyone, you still shouldn't have told anyone, Mark! And then only after all of that is done and Mark is hanging his head in shame, she finally stops to say hi to Allen lol.

During the Battle Beast fight: I was a little torn on this one because I was struggling to find a reason for Mercy to have been with Invincible on this day to be part of this fight, but I realized that at this point in time, they were still 'marketing' themselves as the twin heroes. So they likely would be going on jobs together still, so there we go, that's the reason she was with him (: Also I mentioned before that if Mercy was there with Invincible during the conversation with Titan, she would have agreed to help him right away. If Invincible said something like 'this is beneath us' she'd get mad at him and say 'you're gonna see people suffering and just ignore it? because it's 'beneath you'? it's not beneath me.' and of course, Invincible would follow after his sister instead of letting her go alone. I want her to be there during the fight both because I want her to have a brush with organized super-crime early on(so she can get a glimpse of there being 'players behind the scene' for her to think about), but also I am just a personal fan of Battle Beast so if I can have Mercy get into a scrape with him I would like to do so lol. "A scrape" as if she's not gonna get her ass handed to her... yeah, you're definitely right on the idea that she's gonna need a new jacket after that. The fight against the smaller guys would go better with her there than it did in the show, of course - two viltrumites is a significantly different fight than one viltrumite for a handful of people, powers or otherwise. But, um, the fight with Battle Beast? Yeah, that's largely staying the same. We've seen BB handle multiple fully grown, possibly hundreds to thousands of years old Viltrumites without breaking much of a sweat at all. He's going to thrash these two teenagers who are way in over their heads, and then still frown down at them and go 'you guys are pathetic, there's nothing for me here' and peace out. Get humbled by a space cat, kids.

[ariemfox]

ASK FOR YOU: for my story i’ve been considering this, but you’re way better at these characters than me so i’d love your insights:

What kind of relationship do you think Chase and Adam’s have? I feel like Chase and Park’s friendship is pretty easy to see and understand and gets a lot of focus, but Chase and Adams to me seem weirdly disconnected — we’re told by House and Park they flirt and are kind of into one another, but I’m not sure we really see it from them. I’m ultimately not sure if I’d call them friends or colleagues or what, but I could also be completely wrong and missing a whole dynamic. What do you think?

oof so this is something that my penpal friend/mutual (an all-round absolute legend) have discussed a whole lot, so these ideas are kinda of our conflated thoughts.

the thing about chase & adams is that though they are distant, they understand each other almost intrinsically. so to understand their relationship, we need to look at their similarities and differences.

they both have exes and know what it's like to be divorced and abandoned by them. they also have similar backgrounds: adams is from a rich & old american family (implying related to the presidents with the last names of adams), and chase is also from a rich family with his famous dad. they both have priveleged lives in that sense, but have hugeee guilt complexes to go along with that. whilst chase's guilt complex tends to surround catholic themes bc of the way he was raised, adams' guilt is focused upon her rich privelege (and how she feels she doesn't deserve it compared to other people) and crucially, her parents.

this brings us on to another similarity, their families. we all know that chase's family was a shithole, end of discussion. but with adams, it's a little more complicated. now, this is where it gets v meta so hold on to me here, bc it does make an insane amount of sense.

in the 'parents' episode, house is on a miasion to find out what adams' parents did to Fuck Her Up. she reveals she ran away at 16, and adams insists that it was not because her parents were abusive or 'screwed her up' like house says, it was because when compared to her friends' neglectful/abusive parents, she 'envied their dysfunction' bc she thought 'it made them deeper somehow'. she moved in with an older guy at SIXTEEN (might i add that chase also fucked the groundskeepers wife in his weird english priest boarding school too, another dodgy similarity). and apparently, her parents never got over her running away.

first of all, what normal, well-adjusted person thinks this. second of all, it definitely speaks to some kind of some kind of wmotional gaslighting on her parents side. the amount of excuses she makes for her parents, and the shows emphasis on making the emotionally-abused patient in 'runaways' adams' mirror, this is adams' character episode where she gets personally involved and constantly tries to excuse the patient's mother's behaviour. my lovely friend/mutual @x-birdsong-x explains this beautifully in this tumblr post if u want more details:

there is an almost innate sadness to adams that's only ever implicity shown. her life feels very... empty - we know almost nothing about her background bc she's so evasive about it, particularly when compared to park. take the scene in parents where chase asks what her parents did to fuck her up, and she evades the question by joking they did white-collar crime & human trafficking. whilst chase is honest when he tells her his mother locked him in his father's study as a child, but disconnected; all clinical facts and no feelings, adams lies/evades and gets snappy and defensive whenever someone brings it up. we see this multiple times throughout parents.

she's crafted her persona into a rich kid who doesn't deserve her privelege, who gives back to others/save lives to help those less fortunste to her. she feels like she has to balance the scales, ig. she heals out of guilt, as a way to wallow in her misery and martyrdom. contrast this to chase, who heals and gives back for a personal distraction ("Only so many hours you can cry and bang on the door before you give up, find something to read. We all have family dysfunction. That's why we're successful. To fill that hole."). they have similar pasts, but different responses. in a way, adams is like who chase would be if he went down a different road.

there is an almost innate sadness to adams that's never explicitly shown but very much implied. whenever chase and adams have conversations one-on-one, there's frail, tentative empathy between them. their similarities mean that they understand each other on a deep, personal level (quite similar to chase & thirteen, but with less friendship involved) however, bc chase is so factual, and emotionally-distanced from his childhood and his divorce - they only ever hit him when he's looking at either his dad or cameron in the face - and adams is so evasive, reactive, tempremental and snappy when confronted with her side of things... they've never truly connected. they have the same roots but have branched off to opposing sides of the tree, they are like ghosts, alternate versions of the deepest untouched parts of each other. i think that's how i'd describe their relationship.

i think house clocked on to the fact that it's intimate, particularly in 'we need the eggs', bc they are so alike. adams obviously felt this vague sort of empathy between them too in this episode, seeing as she asks chase out for drinks 'for a change' - she wants to get over her issues - but chase declines because he's not over cameron. whether this was romantic though? it wasn't for chase, but i don't think adams really knew; she doesn't show romantic/sexual attraction to him, all i think she knew is what house noticed. that they had some sort of connection, and adams wanted to explore that, to find someone who understands.

i think ur right in that they're disconnected. they could connect but they won't, and it's also a different kind of intimate than to what house inferred. they are like long-lost siblings who shared a childhood, but time has changed them so much that they struggle to face each other honestly. they are a reminder to each others' pasts, and i don't think chase completely likes that (in s8 anyway), he doesn't like the idea of what he could've become. but adams - who has felt alone her whole life, disconnected from her peers, disadvantaged patients (who had it worse in her mind), and colleagues prior to s8 - wants to connect with someone who gets what it's like. even if she doesn't completely get it, bc although she's come to terms with the divorce, she hasn't yet accepted how her parents impacted her by s8.

sorry for how long this reply is!! they are so interesting to me. i hope it kinda helped tho? lmk ur thoughts if u like (:

[shutupineedtothink]

I’m still s h o o k that people do not see exactly what’s going on with Moiraine throughout s2 and people are dragging her and dismissing her without an ounce of empathy for what she’s been through, so I’m bringing the full character analysis for y’all (and my own sanity). So this is a big ol in defense of Moiraine (and Lan) rant, so if that’s not your thing, scroll down now. Here we go.

I just… The AUDACITY some people have to look at Moiraine and be angry and pissed off at how she acts in S2. To not feel any sympathy and empathy for her and the monumental weight she’s under every goddamn day. There’s a reason we start with that bath scene in 2x01 – it shows you everything. How she’s just going through the motions. How she only lets herself cry when she’s alone in the water. How she literally curls into the fetal position and looks reproachfully devastated over her knees as she hugs them to her chest in a futile attempt at comfort. Not to mention the direct comparison/callback with the bath scene in 1x01, where she has both her power and Lan still, and now she’s lost her connection to both of them.

How is it not painfully obvious that every interaction she has after that bath scene is infused with a trauma response? Let’s tally up the devastation she’s been through. At the end of S1, she was 1. banished from the sisterhood of the white tower (they literally turned their backs on her), 2. was separated AGAIN from the love of her life fully expecting to never see her again, 3. was cut off from the other love of her life (that would be Lan, for the record) which is all the worse bc it’s her own fault for masking the bond, 4. was fully made to believe she’s been stilled from the one power aka an integral part of her being, AND 5. she’s “failed” her mission at the eye of the world – the one goal she’s had for the last 20 years, her life’s purpose – because instead of locking away the dark one she’s directly caused Rand to set Ishamael free.

You don’t think it's justified to be a little pissed off and standoffish after all of that? You don’t think the weight of that guilt, grief, pain, and loss is a reasonable cause to be distant, cold, harsh, having a little bit of a death wish? That’s TRAUMA, baby! She is absolutely wrecked, and it’s coming out in the worst way in her interactions with others (especially Lan because we’ve seen how they should be), but it’s absolutely not because she actively wants to hurt the people around her. In fact after almost every moment she lashes out at someone, we see an equally sad/grief-stricken/devastated moment from her and THAT’S the real emotion hiding underneath the anger. This woman needs therapy and understanding and patience, and does not deserve to be judged at the worst time of her life.

Ok fine, you say, but Lan IS patient and understanding with her! And she’s still an asshole to him! You’re right, Lan is absolutely trying his best and doing just about everything he can to be there for her in 2x01/2x02 (with a little help from Verin and Tomas). But 1. It’s STILL not about him, Moiraine is not obligated to respond in a certain way to her grief and pain that makes him feel better, and 2. This is Moiraine goddamn Damodred and even her trauma response is also a front to protect him, to push him away from her and what is now certainly a suicide mission to fight the dark without her powers.

This is SOOO important to really get Moiraine’s character — y’all gotta understand this: Moiraine truly loves only TWO people on the whole fucking planet: Siuan and Lan. They are also the only people who truly love her, unconditionally, with all of her flaws and imperfections. Please please ingrain that into your brain, especially for Lan, in this context. (Siuan is a whole other conversation I won’t get into at the moment.) Moiraine loves Lan, he loves her, deeply. That’s the foundation of everything they go through with each other in this season, despite what’s happening on the surface.

Once you accept that as fundamental truth, everything makes a whole lot more sense. She is a dick to him to push him away. Literally tells him he failed her to put the final nail in the coffin of driving him away, which is his worst nightmare. On the surface it seems egotistic at best, plain cruel at worst. But look underneath. Moiraine always has reasons 2, 3, 6 layers deep for everything she does.

With everyone else she’s mean to this season, namely her sister and her nephew, it’s born out of distrust (and the aforementioned trauma response). She can’t afford to trust anyone because anyone could be a dark friend. (And if they’re not a dark friend, then they become a liability and endangered.) Anything she lets slip could be used to hurt/control Rand and push them all one step closer to eternal darkness. Oh and when we see Barthanes’ true nature that turns out to be fucking justified, by the way. But I digress.

Right so why is she an asshole to Lan then? Because she doesn’t trust him? I don’t believe that for a second. These two have been on the same page, literally sharing the same headspace, for the last 20 years – she knows he’s the best person she’s ever met, the least likely to ever turn to the dark, ever. It’s an actual impossibility. So it’s not that she doesn’t trust him. She literally marvels at how courageous he must be to fight the dark with only a sword.

The true reason is: she does trust him, she does love him, and she KNOWS him. She knows that he will never leave her like this, in her darkest hour. He is both honor-bound to her (which he takes very seriously) and deeply cares for her. The problem is that now his life is in serious danger by staying with her. But there is no calmly explaining to him that he should return to the white tower for his own good and bond to another aes sedai who can actually channel, who can actually hold up her end of the partnership and protect him and heal him in return for his loyalty and sacrifice. Or better yet, find Nynaeve, who is not only ridiculously powerful and has probably the best chance of protecting him out of anyone, but who also loves him.

If Moiraine loves him and wants him safe, the ONLY option she has to protect him, the one good thing left in her life even if their bond is masked, is to drive him away. To make it so that he’ll stay far away from her of his own free will, and never come after her and her suicide mission to defeat the dark. Because she has already lost everything, she has no control over her fate anymore (if she ever had any to begin with), but the ONE thing she can still try to do is keep him safe. And hopefully, maybe he’ll be happy, one day. Her reasoning is directly confirmed for us in the last thing she says to him in 2x02 before she leaves: “Light protect you, al’Lan Mandragoran.” That was her goal all along, to protect him.

That’s the true reason she’s Like That to him. It’s all out of her love for him, and a desperate desire not to drag him down with her when she’s sure she’s destined to die on this mission. Is her strategy misguided? On the one hand yes, because she does need people to help her and she needs to trust someone, as he points out. On the other hand, she’s absolutely fucking right because look what happened with the Fade fight at the end of 2x01. Both her and Lan would have died without Verin and Tomas, and it would have been because she couldn’t channel. He is factually, logically, physically better off without her as long as she’s “stilled.”

This is why it makes sense how Lan eventually responds the way he does. He initially sees right through what she’s trying to do, he literally says he won’t let her push him away. He knows her too, better than anyone, including Siuan at this point. But he isn’t expecting her to go as far as she does, and it shakes him to his core. She tells him he failed her, has his worst fears confirmed, and then hears the words “we were never equals” and hears that she thinks she’s better than him, when she means the exact opposite. Tomas tells him to really listen but he can’t, in that moment.

But then he gets some distance, and some perspective thanks to Ihvon and Maksim, and he remembers: he loves her. He believes in her and he knows her and he knows what she’s doing to push him away (although maybe not why, when it comes to protecting him, because he doesn’t see himself as someone who needs protecting). Even better, he realizes that her situation is actually not what she thinks, that she’s shielded not stilled, and he can do something about that.

I LOVE Lan in 2x07 because he’s got Moiraine’s number now, and he will not be swayed by any further attempts (rather weak attempts at this point) to lash out at him. He just takes all the shit she throws at him, and calmly asks her what he needs to know and tells her what she needs to hear (“hopefully everything we’ve lost” and “that’s what I thought” and “you need to trust someone, Moiraine”), and is truthful with her even if she is still putting on this act with him in her fear and grief. He isn’t having any of it, he sees straight through it to the fear and pain underneath. And he literally DECIDES they are going to be okay, and then he fucking. Follows. Through.

He is not a doormat to her rage, he is not her servant, he’s not going back to her with his tail between his legs. He SHOWS UP for her in her darkest hour, when NO ONE, not even Siuan, can see what’s going on with her. That’s a true friend, a true hero, and absolute king behavior.

In conclusion, Moiraine’s behavior in s2, while not cute, is totally justified given the trauma, circumstances and everything she’s dealing with (jfc the lack of sleep alone) and makes sense in light of her ultimate goal to protect the world, which includes protecting Lan. And Lan’s response, once he figures out what to do, is the absolute correct way to handle the situation and is not weakness at all but strength in the highest order.

I’m so glad we got the payoff of all that with their conversation in 2x08 and reconnecting the bond. It was so beautiful, so earned, and reminded us of the level they’re on with each other — which is a soul connection way beyond what any of us can imagine.

[creativelydani]

I've been thinking about the scene where Tamlin locks Feyre in the manor before heading out on a mission, claiming it's too dangerous for her because of the creatures Amarantha unleashed on the Spring Court.

Now imagine this: Tamlin is gravely injured during that mission and is bedridden when he returns, only to discover that Feyre is gone. Lucien is left to piece things together and (perhaps?) sends a letter to the Hewn City, asking to speak with Feyre (assuming Rhysand has her "captured").

How do you think Feyre would respond? Would Rhys tell her the truth about Tamlin’s condition, or keep it from her? And if she found out, do you think she'd go back to him? Would this change her perspective on Tamlin locking her in the manor, or even reshape their dynamic entirely?

Um, wow, this is actually hella interesting to think about.

I think it's entirely possible that if Tamlin was gravely injured and bedridden, Lucien might bypass the politics and figure out a way to get a message to Feyre without going through Rhys. We know Lucien is charismatic and has friends and allies in every court that would do favours.

Rhys, however, would not tell Feyre about Tamlin's condition unless pressed. It's clear that Rhys doesn't view lying by omission as actually lying, and he's extremely careful about how he words things.

One of Feyre's defining character traits is her compassion, so if she learned of Tamlin's injury, I think she would return to the Spring Court to, at the very least, make sure that he's okay. This would probably spark a conflict with Rhys and the IC, but y'all know that if Feyre has a goal, she will achieve it at all costs.

I think the injury would cause Tamlin to both reevaluate and double-down on how he locked Feyre in the house. I imagine he would apologize, but also explain to her more about the current state of Prythian and what happened to him. It might also illustrate a good opportunity for Tamlin to open up about his trauma, both in the last 50 years and specifically UTM.

Tamlin spent 50 years the target of an evil bitch and had his sentries, his friends, volunteering to die for him for a chance of breaking the curse. A fact that gets overlooked bc SJM decided to highlight Rhys's trauma and downplay Tamlin's.

This concept would probably create a great avenue for more push-and-pull and a lengthened love triangle because it would allow Feyre to have a fuller picture of the state of Prythian instead of the IC's very limited, firm stance on their world.

As a fic writer, I'm now kinda tempted to write an AU haha (I am a Tamlin sympathizer so haha)

[inchidentally]

I love love love your landoscar (and carlando and dando) deep dives and analysis and in one of them you mentioned how Carlos acts very differently with Charles than he does with Lando and that charlos is its own different topic so I was wondering about your thoughts on their dynamic👀 Would love to read them but no pressure of course!

(these asks are literally from last year and I am soso soooo sorry for taking so long <3<3)

god anon I love all three too even if the multishipping thing is wayyy too uncommon for me to do it out here publicly on my blog anymore!

truly - and this is fully rpf projecting switched off - the Charles/Carlos and Carlos/Lando dynamics are so different and it was so sweet during the Melbourne 2024 celebrations watching Carlos switching between the two aslfhsalfh. bc Carlos literally helped raise Lando from the kid Lando's closest friends and even Zak described as a loner and intensely shy, to someone who could borrow quite a lot from Carlos' persona for himself and even learned a social hobby in golf to integrate him more with other drivers. it's not as 'sweet' per se but even the fact that Lando a while ago was like 'oh I only date Spanish girls' during that golf stream bc Carlos literally helped Lando meet girls (this was before Luisa). straight up he functioned as Lando's F1 and PR social lifeline in a way where Lando was still pretty clingy even up to like late 2022? bc Daniel was another great big alpha personality to do a lot of the heavy lifting like Carlos did but Lando and Daniel are more of a friendship of equals.

but for Carlos, Lando's mostly stayed in that little brother position - even moreso I'd say as Carlos approaches 30 bc his lifestyle now is way more grown-up than Lando's and his approach to his career and racing is vaaaastly different to Lando's. and tbh it's one of many reasons I was glad they didn't stay teammates bc regardless of what fans wanted and PR pushed, that would either not have ended well or it would have had truly excruciating moments (similar to that 'breakup' moment in 2022). I think ultimately they'd always have ended up ok but it's good to not have had to wait and find out how.

I genuinely think it'll only be in retrospect that people learn to appreciate how impressive and cohesive Carlos and Charles' partnership has been bc I only ever see a few people say this. and again, ignoring the whole PR bromance aspect of it, this is in how they have weathered the absolute WORST of everything that could be thrown at a pairing and always come out unified. their fanbases have been at bloody war since day one, the Tifosi have been embroiled in civil war, their own families use multiple platforms to stir up enmity, Ferrari's Borgia-esque culture has directly and indirectly worked to disrupt communication and good will between the two garages. team orders has been Russian roulette every race. the literal racing gods seem to roll the dice when it comes to which of them will be favored and who will be left burning with anger. and even when both suffer equally due to the many forces outside their control, guaranteed everyone but themselves will be trying to somehow pin blame on the other.

a tiny fraction of this amount of drama has been enough to destroy partnerships plenty of times in racing history and even throughout their time as teammates.

AND YET !! every hasty word or outburst is smoothed over within hours or even minutes!

bc the common aortic valve they've mutually decided to share between them has stayed strong, vital and healthy. I cannot wait for their biographies or a docu series bc the amount of obvious communication going on between them fully behind the scenes from absolutely everyone is the only reason they haven't both been locked in a br0cedes degree battle royale. absolutely no one but themselves has wanted them to be harmonious.

and when the most shocking headline probably for a decade happened, they decided the very day after being told (in advance of the public what would turn out to be just a few days) to drive together to Maranello and sign autographs and have photos taken of them in Carlos' car. the rest of us only found out later when the rumors were confirmed that this was a hugely symbolic display of solidarity.

even their intense and fun physicality, when you take the gay chicken aspect of it away, remains in the form of physically finding warmth and steadiness in each other as the only two people who can relate in full detail to the other. they're both your typical super physical European guys with other guys, but even when they're not horsing around there is a comfort and ease in being able to lean close or clap a hand on a shoulder and share closed-eyes embraces.

and that's why Melbourne was a Charles and Carlos affair with little Lando along for it getting his hugs and paternal kisses. when Carlos and Lando looked at each other it was right back to that chummy mischief sparkle in the eye thing they've always had. Lando still inhabits the rosy world of possibility and cresting the height of his career and a vastly different new teammate who is playing a part in that. but when Charles ran over for a private celebration before Carlos had even gotten out of his car - and when they sat together in the cool down room like two bone-weary parents watching TV while Lando buzzed about - and would turn to each other on the podium and lock eyes, it's bc they both get it in exactly the same way. Carlos faces uncertainty but opportunity, Charles faces uncertainty but certain difficulty. all of which was paralleled in Monaco for Charles' win. elation is mixed with grim satisfaction as much as joy.

the relief, the exhaustion, the bitterness of years without the WDC and the long stretches between wins in the back of the throat mixing with the champagne, even their tears of joy this season mixing with the fact that both of them have had tears in their eyes when asked about the end of their partnership - even down to the parallel in each if their wins this year of having a McLaren rugrat scurrying around the edge of drama neither of their pretty young heads has ever experienced even by proximity - both boys already assured by contract and by their performance of steadiness for years to come. the gold of their feelings on podiums hasn't tarnished or worn yet.

as always, the reality of these guys' actual friendships is rarely known until well after retirement. but the fact that Carlos and Charles held something so strong between them that made them reject the much easier option of simply hating each other or just neutrally existing in separate spheres (like so many other partnerships have done) means that mutual respect or mutual agreement or sympathetic personalities - or all three - was their choice, even if it's made their own careers and lives far more complicated and difficult.

[squeakyleftsneaker]

Watching Voltron for the 1st Time: S3 Ep. 1-2

Are you wondering wtf this even is? I am too, but I at least know how I got into this mess. Here's how I got into this mess dawg. If you don't want to read that, just know that I was hoodwinked by a 12 year old I tutor into watching it. She looked so fucking excited when I mentioned I took her homework seriously and watched it that like. Guys. I can't stop watching. Like I'm so serious she was so happy. I am so weak. So now I'm watching Season 3 and uh. I don't think I like this very much???

I Want To Believe

Everyone being kind of suspicious of the Blade of Marmalade is good. It's a good detail. I support it. I hope it keeps coming back in PLOT RELEVANT WAYS >:(

Keith being entirely out of control without Shiro there is great. Genuinely a fantastic character detail. That's the same Keith who presumably washed out of the Space West Point when Shiro went missing too. This is a one-track-mind guy, and that's perfect.

I'm assuming this is also the time when they start to flesh out Lance! It's about damn time! I've been WAITING for this one

Lotor's flowing locks are very nice very cool. Is he part Altean? Bc Allura and Haggar and Allura's dad also have baller flowing locks of glorious white hair

LOTOR'S GOONS HAVE A SPACE CAT OMFG THE SPACE CAT IS SOOOOO CUTE

Voltron is giving my gay ass these beautiful alien women to distract me from how much of a hot mess it is and it'll only work a tiny bit I promise but wowwwwwwwww WOMEN! I LOVE WOMEN!

"I don't want to be the leader. That's just what Shiro wanted" dude Steven Yeun's performance is SO GOOD here. He sounds so heartbroken

And again when Keith finally gets the black lion, the genuine despair in his voice, the way they've drawn him to shrink in on himself, fantastic work by the artists and Yeun and writers (for once) there.

This Ain't It Chief

I REALLY NEED THEM TO STOP HAVING LANCE BE A WANNABE PLAYBOY LIKE ASAP

These scenes where the team is trying to tell Keith he's not the only one who misses Shiro and they need to move on now play so poorly to me. In part because obviously none of characters have really bonded to any degree onscreen. It feels like we're watching a bunch of people who don't really know Keith telling him to just Get Over the death of the only person in this show he has any sort of real relation to. Telling Keith "He would be the first person telling us to move on" rings so cruelly when Keith is pretty much the only one in this group who KNEW Shiro.

The other characters telling him about how they also liked Shiro really drives home how little they all interact diegetically. They don't bring up their personal experiences with Shiro to exemplify how much they miss him because they don't have any. Instead we have Hunk giving some vague lipservice to the idea that Shiro gave him some piloting pointers. Pidge just says "My family talked about him" and Lance says he idolized Shiro back on earth. They don't KNOW him. It's just a bunch of people telling someone who was genuinely mourning the loss of his closest relation to move on and it STINGS.

Let's talk about the lion swap. Allura SHOULD be the red paladin here. She should. She and Keith are established foils last season which makes her a good lancer (to use a TV tropes staple) to Keith, she's got the history with the lion that makes it narratively satisfying, and she and Keith have similar levels of "fuck it we ball" that it'd make for a great dynamic between them. I, however, can pick up that the reason they've put Lance in the red lion is twofold. 1: Lance and Allura are set up from the 1st episode as what is probably going to be the only endgame relationship in this show. Do I like it? Not really with how it's going so far but whatever, it could be made to work and 2: Lance's one-sided rivalry with Keith needs some work. My thing is that though putting Lance in the Red Lion does somewhat help with both of those, it's unnecessary.

In all honesty, it'd probably be EASIER for Lance and Keith's relationship to balance out without Lance in the red lion. The red lion is a lancer spot, there's always going to be tension there, and Lance's whole thing is that he generated a conflict with Keith for no reason and needs to worth through that for himself.

Then for Allura and Lance, having him in the lion that was once her father's isn't necessary to them developing a relationship! He just needs to get his head out of his ass around girls and gain some more self confidence, and then she can start to consider him a potential partner because he IS endearing and fun!

There's another reason why I don't love Lance leaving the blue lion. He's our audience proxy. We are supposed to identify with him! He's the everyman in this 5 man band, the heart, as it were. The blue lion is the lion with the strongest connection to earth, Lance is a character with a big urge to get back home, he mentions it often! Pulling him out of there, pulling the audience out of the lion with that connection weakens that tether. And maybe that's INTENTIONAL but I don't think that's a decision that'll play well for the story overall.

And now, an impromptu tangent, because I am starting to get the feeling that I need to care about the mechanics for writing romance a lot sooner than I anticipated. Let's talk about where a writer could go with having romantic relationships in this show. In this fantasy world, pretend there's not a weird taboo on gay relationships and that all iterations are possible.

The Big Tangent On How To Relationship In Fiction

If as a writer you wanted to have a romance of Hunk or Pidge with literally anyone else in the main cast, you could at this point in time. You'd have to really sit and develop it out and plan for the plot because there's nothing to work with in terms of interpersonal relationships in the main group, but you could do it! There's over 5 seasons left right now! You've got it! I am very FRUSTRATED by the fact that they've developed no real relationships between the paladins, but it does give them a lot of license to go anywhere with it.

If you wanted Lance with ANYONE but Allura or Keith, the same applies! Tabula rasa, complete creative freedom there. But I don't get the sense that's what they're going for. And Lance is a good character to put into a relationship, bc as established he's our audience surrogate!

So let's look at Lance and Allura. I would be willing to place a bet RIGHT NOW that that's an endgame relationship. They set it up from day 1, they fall into a well established trope of "Playboy meets serious girl and shows her fun is good and she shows him to lock in and focus" which. I am personally very lukewarm on! I think it could be done pretty well though. They'd need to really lock tf in though (and not with the stupid lions as proxy). They need Lance to start really relating to Allura in a way that isn't just. Flirting with her in the exact same way that he flirts with literally every girl they put in front of him. And they need him to really work through his own insecurities they've brought up and ignored several times!

Similarly for Allura she deserves to have her own arcs, to really cope with the loss she's facing, and then to relate to Lance differently herself. This dynamic is, though not my favorite, still GREAT when done well. My favorite example of the suave playboy and the serious girl done RIGHT is Han Solo and Leia. And they keep Han fun and Leia locked tf in! Their personalities aren't compromised at all!

I really hope they avoid my beloathed trope of having Allura just. Suddenly be into Lance the second he behaves. I really do not want this. I hate it when women are presented as a prize for good behavior. It's awful.

I've been reliably informed that apparently Keith and Lance is a ship people like, and look, as a TV troper for a long time, Red Oni/Blue Oni I know your siren's call WELL. I know what you are. Anyway. This is a workable ship I think, but it'll take WORK. Why? Because they've maybe unintentionally set up Lance's character arc as being tied up in getting tf over himself as it pertains to Keith, and Keith's basically got no relation to Lance at ALL on his end. Keith is the focus of Lance's insecurities, while they've written Keith as though they are total strangers.

Red Oni/Blue Oni ships work at their finest when they've got a BALANCE to them. Level each other out. And also, well, I think technically though the show tries to INSIST Keith is the hothead, they can't both be the hothead in this dynamic and if anyone is the brash and impulsive one in the relationship of it all, it's Lance. So they'd have to either mellow Lance out a lot to have him play Blue Oni to Keith's red (which I don't love because toning Lance down is toning the audience down, and uh. WHY?) or they mellow out Keith, which is impossible without Shiro there. You could get this to work though, it's just a lot of writing and time that needs to be devoted. But they had a bonding moment! If you want it to happen it can work.

The reason I started with Lance ships is that obviously, he's our audience-relatable character. Having HIM be in a relationship is really engaging for viewers because in some sense, Lance is US. That said, if you want a little background arc that doesn't require focus and isn't central narratively speaking, nab other characters and make them kiss like barbie dolls! This is where your Hunk and Pidge relationships slot in. Just have a background slow burn! Those are always fun and don't require AS MUCH time.

But, are there some non-Lance options for ships that can build off of existing dynamics then? Well, let's stick with Allura for a second. If you wanted her and Shiro to be in a relationship you'd be working from ground up starting at literally nothing, same as any other ship excluding Lance/Allura or Lance/Keith. But you could make it work by inserting some tension between them, maybe over leadership, maybe over the Galra, something like that.

Which brings me to the Canon Of Yore aka Allura and Keith. Who were a couple in Ancient Days Voltron. I WILL get into my personal opinion on this one in a second, but let's assess feasibility. They're VERY similar characters, they're presented as foils to each other in season 2. You'd need to work hard on this because they're SO similar, and it would've been EASIER if Allura had been in the red lion, but it is hard for these two. Especially because you need to deal with the fact that uh. Well. Allura's entire culture got wiped out by uh. Well. Keith's kinda people*

It is DOABLE to have them work through that. But it is hard to do well without implying that Allura should like. Get Over It. And she shouldn't! Her whole culture was ERADICATED. She deserves to mourn, to feel the scope of her loss, and to be with someone who CAN just understand that and understand her and not exacerbate the pain.

And this brings me to the duo that is basically the only real interpersonal relationship in the show. Aka Keith and Shiro. You may be thinking to yourself "Shoe did Keith say Shiro is like his brother in the Blade of Marmora episode?" To which I would respond "I said the first girl I ever had a crush on was like my sister to many people this really isn't an obstacle if you want it to happen"

Jokes aside you could make this work with really minimal effort! Mostly because these two have a relationship with significantly more depth than anyone else already, all it'd take to have it read romantically is just to have Shiro like. Blush or something. They have a great dynamic where they are only ever vulnerable with each other. Shiro reigns Keith in, Keith gives Shiro an outlet for his pain. Shiro supports everyone where Keith supports him entirely, Keith will strike out on his own except that Shiro will always be there. This is a great dynamic for a friendship or for a romantic relationship. You can go anywhere with this! They're established to know each other so well even before the show starts, they HAVE something, if you're a writer you can do a lot with that.

If I was a particularly lazy writer and wanted props for a gay relationship without ACTUALLY having to do a lot of work, I'd just keep everything as is with like the barest minimum of effort and then show them holding hands in the epilogue and all their interactions retrospectively look romantic. It's a very low maintenance relationship, if you don't want to do real work.

As to what I personally would go for, I really don't care. I think that ANYTHING I mentioned would work great in different narrative contexts, I think that a competent writer could make me love ANY of them! Are these writers competent? NO. So I very much fear that we'll get Allura kissing Lance as a reward and I'll be very upset. So. Yeah. That's that.

*this is why I don't love Zuko and Katara as a ship in Avatar the Last Airbender btw. I just. There's something that activates my fight or flight in the concept of a woman who once hated a man who is the face of a colonial empire that has ravaged her culture and killed her family falling in love with him no holds barred no reservations. The power dynamic just. Unsettles me. Them getting to a point of mutual respect and friendship I can understand, but a romantic relationship and involvement is. Just so fraught that I think no children's show could handle that with any sort of grace.

SEE Y'ALL NEXT TIMEEEEEEE

[everythingmp3]

spoilers for the new yj episode!! I am being kind of a hater bc I havent really enjoyed the last two episodes, so feel free to just ignore this if you liked the new ep lol

guys... when is it gonna get better 😭 like what the actual fuck is this adult timeline coming to, a bunch of Walter and Lotties father?? really? this whole detective nonsense what on earth are they doing... I cant take it.

also do NOT get me started on their reaction to Lotties death. as if they would just fucking shrug that off, as if Van would be able to make a little "did Misty just leave her own house?" joke while HD pictures of Lotties corpse are on the coffee table in front of her.. the writers looove to say that the adult timeline is all about trauma and grief but then when someone actually dies, a close friend, a fellow survivor, LOTTIE, they make the adult characters move on from that as if nothing happened? its absurd, where is the tragedy, where are the tears, wheres the horror, the pain, they lost Lottie and what did they do? say "aw thats sucks :(" and then go about their day? huh???

also love that they gave us quite literally one second between Van and Simone and then later on Van just seemed fine and YET AGAIN just passively went along with what Tai suggested like what the fuck is this?? she saw Tais wife and kid and you mean to tell me she just shrugged that off? Van has no personal life of her own anymore, she shes living with Tai and letting her decide every single fucking thing, she has no say in anything they do, and shes just... chilling? you mean to tell me shes not hurt in her pride, that she never has moments of anger and frustration where her and Tai fight? never? like what? they made Van an empty fucking vessel this season, shes nothing, shes just Tais little wifey who hardly ever argues or challenges her, like I am starting to hate adult taivan it’s absurd, season 2 taivan come back to me immediately please…

also the teens just need more, every week I feel like I missed sth when the episode is done like that’s it?? cut some of Walter’s shit I’ve had it like actually

also pretty unrealistic to me that none of the girls would fight Shauna and Melissa after just doing that to Ben, especially since his screams would keep them from sleeping, like as ifff they’d just let them go fuck after that?😭

also didn’t think that Misty would be a highlight for me but Samantha and Christina are really doing whatever they can to make the most of their scenes and I do think Mistys character development in both timelines is one of the few positives in the latest episodes, I enjoy seeing both of them but adult Misty deserves more than this comedic relief nonsense! yeah idk I’m kinda fond of teen Misty rn, would love to see her and Nat talking some more

teen taivan fucking against a tree probably best moment of the whole episode to me 🤞🏻 like finallyyy some lesbian sex and not just implied stuff thank god and tbh I think we should see more women jerking each other off on screen (also maybe I manifested that scene last year when I wrote an adult taivan fic where they fuck against a tree and Van suddenly gets surprisingly dominant with it 😭 like okayy I was locked in)

also Lottie only getting a wilderness faith arc and grouping her together with Travis just to give them both something to do and Nat getting little no scenes outside of the group setting... they deserve waaay more

anyway yeah ep4 and 5 were not for me, a few cool moments here and there but other than that I am just not loving season 3 rn which is sad like damn I wish I did I really do! please let the rest be better like please

anyway lmk if you have any pressing thoughts!

[humbledragon669]

S1E3 – Hard Times Write Up P1 – The Garden of Eden (4004 BC), Mesopotamia (3004 BC), Golgotha (33 AD), Rome (42 AD) and the Kingdom of Wessex (537 AD)

Neil himself tells us (in the Introduction to the Script Book) that he wrote these historical scenes specifically for the show to ensure that the third part of the story was not entirely absent of our hero couple. Personally I think the sequence is one of my favourite parts of the show, not least because we get a pretty much uninterrupted set of Aziracrow conversations. They’re really rich in back story and I don’t think I’d be the only person to say that I’m really delighted they (mostly) made it to the final cut. Let’s get started – the plan is for this part to take us up to the end of the scene that takes place in 537 AD before I take a little break from write ups and dip my toe into fanfics again (I realise that might seem like an odd place to break, but it will make sense when I’m done).

So we’re back at the Garden of Eden, sans Crawly this time. The script version of this scene has Aziraphale locking up the gates to the Garden at this point. Instead, we see him putting a final brick in the Garden’s surrounding wall. I have seen some people say that this is him sealing the Garden shut, and that would fit with the script, but I just can’t help but feel like he’s hiding something inside the wall - the shape of the stone he’s using is irregular compared to everything else, and he seems at pains to keep its outline hidden during his conversation with God (which, interestingly, takes place directly with God and not through the Metatron). If he is indeed hiding something, I would very much like to know what it is.

God’s questioning of Aziraphale in this scene, enquiring as to where his flaming sword is (which it turns out he was specifically given to guard the Eastern Gate of Eden), is in all honesty pretty lacklustre - she leaves without getting any sort of answer from him (not that he’s likely to be able to give one with his beyond half-hearted attempts to find said sword) or giving any indication of her feelings on the matter. Bit odd if you ask me.

Crawly’s opening gambit of the conversation in this scene indicates to us that this is the first time Aziraphale and Crawly have seen each other since the Garden of Eden when he enquires as to the outcome of the angel giving his sword away. Despite 1000 years passing, Crawly recognises Aziraphale and they both remember each other’s names. Not only that, but Crawly still appears to be pretty enraptured – he watches Aziraphale’s face attentively during his attempt at small talk with a sort of doe-eyed flirty expression you might see on a teenage girl talking to their inappropriate (and usually doomed-to-failure) crush:

From this light-hearted adoration, we’re drawn swiftly into an interesting display of humanity of both of their parts. They’re both clearly very uncomfortable with what Heaven has planned.

Crawly makes it clear that there’s a line being crossed as far as he’s concerned here – the killing of innocents is very much NOT OK with him. And Aziraphale agrees with him, but we can see how painful he finds this dilemma: being torn between God’s plans (which must, he believes, be inherently good) and the morality of Heaven’s actions. He tries so hard to toe the company line, but the struggle is written all over his face and in his body language. As a last-ditch effort to prove which side he’s on (because as Crawly points out, this sort of thing is really more his side’s sort of thing), he even resorts to touting the old propaganda about the ineffable plan, but Crawly calls him out on that before he can even say it and Aziraphale knows the argument is lost.

I don’t doubt that we are meant to be reminded of Aziraphale’s actions the last time the two of them got caught in a rain shower when the rain starts in this scene. Unfortunately on this occasion, neither of them are in the position to whip out their wings to shelter one another.

In this scene we discover that after some 4000 years, our demon has changed his name to the one we are more familiar with. Interestingly the second of Aziraphale’s suggestions for some potentially appropriate names he could have adopted (Mephistopheles and Asmodeus) is the name of the king of demons according to Jewish legend. Whether this is a nod to Crowley’s perceived position in Hell’s hierarchy or the pedestal that Aziraphale has mentally placed him on is unclear. What is clear is that the angel seems quite taken with the demon’s actual choice.

Crowley shows his true colours here with the admission that he showed Jesus all the kingdoms of the world. This is an absolutely lovely thing to do for a young man who was tasked with carrying the burden of the sin of all of mankind and shows a level of compassion that most human beings wouldn’t be able to match – any doubts that this demon is truly “nice” at heart go out of the window with this revelation.

Let’s address the elephant in the room with this scene – what bug crawled up Crowley’s ass and died? He is in an absolute shitter of a mood here and we don’t get an explanation why. Despite Aziraphale’s clear delight at bumping into him (not surprising really, he looked bored as hell sitting at the table on his own), he seems decidedly unimpressed at the angel’s presence. I’m sure Aziraphale forgetting his newly adopted name (which suggests he was very accustomed to using the old one) and his ridiculous question about whether or not Crowley is still a demon doesn’t help matters, but Crowley is in a pisser before both of those things happen. Despite that, he doesn’t object to Aziraphale sitting down to drink with him, even if his face looks like he would rather be left well alone.

And there’s another, somewhat subtler, pachyderm lurking here too. This is the first time (chronologically) that we see Crowley wearing glasses to hide his eyes. In the scenes we have already seen in Mesopotamia and Golgotha, Crawly/Crowley wanders around, amongst humans, without the trademark sunglasses that we have become so familiar with. I consider this to be an interesting development on two fronts:

I have no doubt that Crowley wears sunglasses, in part, for practical reasons. I don’t think I’m being offensive in saying that if I saw another person walking around with eyes like his, it would definitely strike me as unusual. Some people, particularly at this time in history, might even be frightened by them. My question around the practicality side of this is when and why does Crowley decide to start hiding his eyes from humans? Does he do it to stop them from being frightened or more because he starts to become conscious of people being judgemental? Perhaps it’s a little of both, but mostly I’m keen to know if there’s a particular incident that brings his change of costume about.

We come to discover throughout the series that Crowley typically only removes his glasses in situations where he feels (or wants to make himself) emotionally available. What was it that caused him to start feeling that his eyes were a source of weakness for him? Did something specific happen that made him feel like he needed to start guarding that aspect of him?

I don’t think we are ever given any Clue towards when and/or why Crowley chooses to start wearing sunglasses, but I do feel like both of the above considerations provide hints to his ever-obvious inclination towards “human” qualities.

This is also the first time (chronologically, and at this point in the series) that we see both Aziraphale and Crowley imbibing anything. We’re also about to have confirmation that both of them also eat human food during Aziraphale’s terrible attempt at flirting making small talk.

Note Aziraphale says Petronius (who historically was a novelist, not a chef) does remarkable things to oysters, not with them, which would be more linguistically appropriate. I am also not ignorant of the fact that oysters are almost universally considered to be an aphrodisiac, so Aziraphale’s offer to take Crowley to an oyster restaurant is pretty loaded with subtext, and that sexual tension is about to get ramped up a notch with his offer to tempt the demon into dinner. The knowing look on Crowley’s face at this offer makes it clear that he doesn’t have an issue with that though:

I actually find myself wondering whether Crowley’s statement that he’s never eaten an oyster was really more of a hint for dinner invitation in the first place.

Crowley’s entrance into this scene intrigues me because it appears at first that he doesn’t recognise Aziraphale, despite his visor being open. I’m more inclined to believe that he does recognise him and decides to have a little fun pretending that he doesn’t, just to see if he can get away with it, seeing as he doesn’t look in the least bit surprised when he raises his own visor.

We start to get an idea of just how little Crowley believes in Hell’s ideals here. He’s also starting to realise the futility of sticking to their agenda, pointing out that wherever Heaven and Hell send agents to work against one another, they might as well not do anything at all, or at least that’s the case where he and Aziraphale are concerned. The whole of this conversation is very “work-related” in nature but very importantly it’s the first time we hear of any plans for the angel and demon to work together. It’s no surprise that, what with Aziraphale being the goody-two-shoes he is (no judgement, I am myself one of that tribe), he vehemently rejects the idea of lying in any capacity, not least to his superiors, despite the fact that he agrees with Crowley about their efforts to work against one another being pointless. According to the book, it took them another 500 years to act on this suggestion of working together – the “Arrangement” was first put into action in 1023. Ultimately, Crowley’s idea can only work if they both contribute so for the moment it looks like they’re both left hanging around in “damp places and just cancelling each other out”.

And so that brings me to my planned breakpoint. Again I realise that it might feel an odd place to stop, but I promise it will eventually make sense. And if you’re still with me after all my waffling so far, I commend you – I mostly did all this writing as a way to get the words and thoughts to stop chasing each other around my headspace but if someone else is getting some pleasure out of it all then that makes me happy. I am planning for the next write up to be a little different; covering ONLY the 1601 scene from Hard Times (any hopes that it might be shorter as a result are, I think, ill-conceived) as well as a meta-theory I have based on what happens in that scene. I’m hoping to have a fanfic based on that meta-theory written that I will be releasing at the same time, and there is some historical research I need to do before I can do that so there may be a small delay before I have everything ready to go. I hope you’ll humour me with patience, and that what comes out is worth the wait. See you on the other side!

[juanabaloo]

BTVS group rewatch: 1.06

favorite lines, parallels, bisexual Buffy watch, and SPOILERS below.

1.06 related reco: The Faculty (1998). All the staring in The Pack reminds me of The Faculty. The cast is absolutely NUTS, pretty much everyone is in this movie. Bonus: this movie features both Clea DuVall and Josh Hartnett. They are both hot and they look similar a lot of times, including in this movie. (They are not related or even friends in the movie. They are also not related in real life.)

Bi rating: 0

RECYCLED IDEAS / FORESHADOWING / PARALLELS

Willow having a big crush on Xander (i don't buy it) -> their entanglement in S3 (is slightly more believable in S3)

all the eye fucking intense staring -> Fuffy at times in S3

The Pack being aware of Buffy's ability to kick their ass, literally -> Buffy stalking the bullies by Amy's goth's friend's locker in Gingerbread

Giles not believing Buffy that something supernatural is going on with Xander -> Giles not believing Buffy that something supernatural is going on with her college roommate Kathy in Living Conditions

locking hyena!Xander up in the library cage -> locking wolf!Oz up in the library cage

Xander fighting his hyena instincts to stay human -> Oz doing the same [initially you think they both succeed but they actually don't]

FAVORITE LINES

[about the xebras mating at the zoo] "it was like the Heimlich - with stripes!" - Willow very cheerily

"he's just sniffing you alot." - Willow to Buffy about Xander

"the more I scare you the better you smell." (!!!) - Xander to Buffy (less of a favorite and more of a jarring effectively scary line in context)

OTHER THOUGHTS

ongoing Bronze cover status reporting: no cover, and the sign says "DJ Night - No Cover"

Xander sniffing Buffy! i forgot about that. i also forgot that Xander doesn't go feral immediately, like he is only half "possessed"

one of the main symptoms of the early stages of being possessed by a hyena is apparently you act confident and sort of "power move / eye fuck" the people around you. and also you're a bully.

i guess Sunnydale gives their students clothes for gym class? i went to public school and they never did that.

really like how this establishes Buffy's reputation and physical power. The Pack instinctively know she should not be fucked with, so - up until the the end - they avoid her. They know she will win.

post pig meal (RIP Herbert) they have another slo-mo group entrance walk scene with music.

hey! it's the first time they show the library jail cage. which is supposed to be super strong, since it takes the students to be mostly hyena to open it.

when they chase Buffy that scene is kinda dark. literally, i had trouble seeing what was going on

the zookeeper guy's mask is genuinely frightening

oh and... he died. I don't care, he deserved it. But also the show tries to act like this didn't happen, that Buffy basically didn't try to stop it and this human died

first appearance of Buffy wearing a beanie!!

Xander assaulting Buffy felt scarier than other vamp danger Buffy has been in. that betrayal of trust you know?

glad that Buffy calls it out for the assault that it was. ("he tried his hand at felony sexual assault")

Giles covering for Xander pretending not to remember what he did feels like a thread they meant to pick up later, like they were building something. and then they promptly dropped it, completely. Giles is nicer in that last scene to Xander than pretty much the rest of the show, where he mostly - AT BEST - tolerates him.

the show totally prevents Xander from feeling any consequences for his actions. except for some serious embarrassment he expresses at the end of this episode, there is nothing. it's never revisited or talked about - or even mentioned i think. Giles never brings it up, not even like a raised eyebrow later. Xander even avoids feeling gross about eating principal Flutie bc he was busy trying to assault Buffy so he wasn't with his Pack mates. *sigh*

I am still behind on reading and reacting to other people's rewatch posts. hopefully this long weekend will give me the chance to catch up!

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. normally this is the section where i list what episodes we did on what day and it's actually been so long i almost couldn't remember. last tuesday we did voy's "nothing human" and "thirty days," thursday we did voy's "counterpoint" and ds9's "prodigal daughter," friday we did voy's "latent image" and "bridge of chaotica," sunday we did ds9's "the emperor's new cloak" and voy's "gravity," monday we did ds9's "field of fire" and voy's "bliss," and last night we did ds9's "chimera" and "badda-bing, badda-bang." whew! yes, it defeats the purpose if i do them after the fact. SORRRRRY i got out of the habit during the helene power outage. some of these, as a result, will be shorter than normal.

nothing human (voy):

THIS ONE FUCKED. it was like getting to watch ds9 in my voyager

my main problem here was that if the episode is About the doctor, then why is janeway making the call on whether or not to use the cardassian guy for the operation? on the flipside, if the hard calls are left to janeway, why make the doctor choose whether to delete the hologram or not?either she's got to make both decisions or he does. it wasn't a great look for her

i wish also we'd had more time to spend on b'elanna's anger at janeway...it seemed almost like an afterthought to have it be a single scene, and it also makes janeway look like an even bigger asshole to have her go "too bad don't care" rather than like. talk about how much she fought with herself over it and how much they all need b'elanna to get home

the moment where the cardassian was cutting into that holographic bug without caring if it felt pain...mwah. voyager could have said "not all cardassians" but yes, in fact, ALL cardassians.

like he was so nice at first he condemned the occupation but then when he said he had to experiment with what he had...you just Know. anyway, 10/10

thirty days (voy):

this one sucked. i get really annoyed with the prime directive in 90s trek because they only bring it up when it's convenient and sometimes they care a lot about sticking to it to the point where picard will watch an entire planet blow up and be like "thots and prayers :(" and sometimes they don't care at all like when picard saved wesley from getting executed by nudists bc if he didn't his gf would be mad. i'm using tng examples here because it would be DIFFERENT in voyager if janeway was lax on it all around given their circumstances but instead she locks tom in solitary for a really dumb reason even though solitary is cruel and unusual punishment even by today's standards AND she knows being in jail is like his trauma or whatever. dumb.

i don't even remember what else happened in this episode because i was too busy being mad about the idea of janeway actually imposing solitary on tom. i don't even care about tom i care that it makes her look like an asshole twice in a row. water planet was cool i guess

counterpoint (voy):

AAAUUUUR MY GOD

CAPTAIN JANEWAY...MA'AM

idk what she was on in this episode but i have never been more attracted to her. let her peg.

what a journey this one took us on. at first you think the inspector guy is lying, and then he starts acting nice and he and janeway get close, and you're like okay he's on their side but he's also a dipshit, like he just confessed to killing kids WHYYYY is she kissing him when she has a boyfriend and a girlfriend already

AND THEN HE BETRAYS HER. AFTER WE LET OUR GUARD DOWN. and it's like oh NO she's gonna be SAD

WRONG. SHE GOT HIS ASS. like

the fact that he tricked us but also SHE tricks us. and him. at the same time. is so unbelievably hot. it's HER BRIDGE, bitch!!!

prodigal daughter (ds9):

i don't want to talk about it.

gender jokes good though

latent image (voy):

THIS ONE MADE ME CRY......................

ethical dilemma GOOD!!! voyager has been coming for my LIFE in season 5

aside from being an EXCELLENT episode for the EMH, it's also a fantastic episode for janeway and seven, and janeway/seven. "how long before you abandon me too?" seven came for her LIFE. almost as good was janeway showing up in seven's little cargo bay to watch her sleep and then wake her with "im struggling with the nature of individuality" in the gayest reverse uno this show has had yet............

i think also it's such a kind touch to have the thing that gets the doctor out of his funk be janeway being under the weather. like, he's a healer. you know?

the poem at the end. waahhhhh

bride of chaotica (voy):

i was afraid for my life when this episode started but it was actually fine. not my favorite, because the 1930s superhero setting means nothing to me, but i like how everyone kind of m,ade fun of the setting and then lovingly bullied janeway into playing the bride. like, that wasn't nothing

like, tuvok's EXTREMELY wry and bitchy jokes at tom paris's expense for example. seven being judgy at harry. that sort of thing.

the emperor's new cloak (ds9):

also feared for my life during this one because i HATE nagus episodes. i didn't realize it would also be mirrorverse

90s mirrorverse is fucking insane to me, by the way. it's just edgelord territory instyead of like, Saying Stuff about the characters the way tos's mirrorverse did. like, i'm fine with that, but also, what the fuck?

ANYWAY, LESBIAN KISS. TEN OUT OF TEN. i'm so fucking mad she couldn't do that with jadzia >:(

also important: in this episode i realized brunt and weyoun were played by the same guy because mirror brunt talks differently. yes, it really took this long, but my ear won eventually

gravity (voy):

TUVOK'S OPEN SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was never worried he would cheat on his wife. i know they had like a memo somewhere. and he's not that kind of guy

the lady is in free willy! i watched the fuck out of those movies as a kid.

as previously noted, it is hilarious that they invented new kinds of shirts for the sheer purpose of gradually undressing tuvok as the episode went on

to be stuck on a desert planet for two months with only tom paris as company: a fate worse than death

young tuvok!!!! i really loved those sections. he was such a little guy you know

this ep more than any other highlights how different tuvok and spock are...like obviously tim ross is copying leonard nimoy's homework re: The Eyebrow and other mannerisms because every vulcan on star trek does that, but tuvok is very at peace with the way he experiences love and what his relationship with his wife means to him, in a way that is very different from how spock finds peace living WITH his emotions in the tos films. like yeah i can see now why spock had trouble on vulcan and was noticeably different than everyone else. you know?

and while spock found it impossible to be exactly the same as the vulcans around him, and while his inability to do that hurt him greatly, you can see too that it isn't necessarily a BAD way to live or a harmful culture in and of itself. and it's nice to see that side of it! it's just sad that spock could never see that side of it.

anyway, great time, tuvok is my bestie

field of fire (ds9):

this one sucked again. lotta duds in ds9 lately. wild

firstly, there is no reason ezri should be able to deduce the guy is the killer just from standing next to him in the elevator for 5 seconds, joran or not. secondly, the vulcan's motive makes no goddamn sense. he's a VULCAN.

the one part of this episode i did really enjoy was ezri's very quiet conversation with worf. he's usually so uncertain about how to interact with her, his simple "you are dax" hit really hard. i wish it had been in a better episode, because while i'm still lukewarm on ezri, her greatest potential is as this shade of jadzia. it's a really interesting dynamic and they nailed the atmosphere in that scene

that said, what he did was essentially accidentally talk her into letting a psycho loose in her head, so like...pretty invalidating. and overall the episode sucked bad. but still!

bliss (voy):

BANGER AFTER BANGER FOR VOYAGER SEASON 5. holy shit have we come a long way!!

i love when they give seven a baby, first of all, so jot that down

i was really rooting for tuvok to see through the illusion and that he DIDN'T made it such a big deal when seven ultimately did

i loved also this captain ahab guy. in case we didn't know what literary work they were refercing they even gave him a vaguely pirate-like accent. he was fun though so i forgive him

as a side note, also, i LOVED how absolutely fucking skeptical janeway was when first hearing about this wormhole. we have GENUINELY come such a long way from season 1 where they got their hopes up all the time

chimera (ds9):

me during this episode: this rules! > this sucks! > this rules! etcetc.

fun to have odo meet another changeling. fun to have this guy be martok, also. i caught that shit. my ear never fails me. fun to have odo trying to balance his changeling life and human life

less fun when they did the shady melding. kira has every right to feel bad about this bc the last time he was doing it was with his mommy shifter who almost got him on her side

apparently this episode was meant to show us odo still struggles with his being a changeling and wanting to be with people, and it's too easy of a choice if all his people are evil. the problem with this is that this guy is also an asshole. evil, no, but he has the same superiority complex that the other changelings do. if they had made him like, "yeah humanoids are fine but we gotta find the rest of the hundred!" i would have been way more invested in odo being torn. they never really SHOW us odo wants to go back anyway, they TELL us. thats all this was. odo like wah i want to go to the link :( and it's that conflict which initially made him so interesting to me, too, and him choosing kira over his own people is a lot of what draws me to that ship. so it's a shame that the excution fell so flat in some places

also lol the reminder that the changelings are dying out...bro i literally forgot

THAT SAID. the arc where KIRA is the one who feels inadequate for ODO vs HIM feeling inadequate for HER (like when she mentioned wanting kids in a different episode) is a nice twist, and i LOVED the bit at the end where he went goop with her 😭😭😭

like, i wish the episode had been about THAT instead of like. what if the other changelings were also assholes

or like this guy could be an asshole and give odo a different kind of crisis. like if they're all bad and only i am different will i also be like that one day? will i not be that but always be alone? but they didn't do any of that.

also WHAT was with quark's random racism speech. hello???

at the end of this episode cathy asked me "are you sure odo is your favorite character?" bc every time he and kira have a problem i side with her. and. what if kira IS my favorite???? kira might be my favorite??????? #feminism

badda-bang, badda-bang (ds9):

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSIGH.

vic is fine. but he'd be better as a non holodeck character

NONE of the holodeck logistics in this made ANY sense. they spent ten minutes trying to justify this stupid holodeck heist because they KNEW it didn't make sense. why not just do a regular heist episode!!! let's watch leverage!!!!!!

furthermore, the side plot about how sisko didn't like the 1960s setting because it magically forgot racism is maybe the only valid reason he had to be a wet blanket about that, but if we're going out of our way to engage with that kind of thing, why is the 1960s setting still sexist? also, why was odo staring at those stripper babes? HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE HUMANOIDS. he's just cuckoo crazy bananas over kira

also, how does vic get INJURED and need time to HEAL? do they not control the fucking simulation enough to even heal up a bruise???

actually wait also WHY ARE JULIAN AND MILES INVITING VIC TO GO TO THE ALAMO? that poor little murder victim asked and he couldn't go but they're ASKING the hologram to go with them?? what the fuck???

i did like that guy calling odo stretch. that was pretty funny.

also, asheville north carolina mention. shoutout to everyone who lives in or has ever lived in asheville north carolina.

TONIGHT: voy's "dark frontier," parts i & ii.

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

okay i swear i'm not trying to start discourse shit, i promise

BUT

i really think caleb has been severely mischaracterized. and to be clear, this is a neutral statement. it's 100% fine to be in yandere, it's interesting! and fiction is a good place to explore something dangerous like that.

but before i met caleb, i had a very certain view of him based on what i was seeing on tumblr (which is my own fault, not blaming anyone), but at least to me, he's very different in the game than what i see on tumblr

the example that stands out to me the most is his threat to lock mc in a house, in a maze where he can monitor her all the time and it would be difficult for her to escape

bc what happens after that? nothing. the scene ends and the next segment is about him letting her leave skyhaven without any fuss. caleb is a man with all bark and no bite, at least when it comes to mc

recontextualised with the fact that he sold his soul to ever and has a chip that's partially mind-controlling him to get back to mc but it only put her into more danger.

what i see from caleb when he makes empty threats like that,,, is desperation. he's scared of the consequences of what he did to get back to mc and is afraid he won't be able to fix it before it catches up to both of them.

same with him "drugging" her. like yeah, it's underhanded and definitely NOT kosher, i'm NOT saying it's a-okay or justified.

but i thought he'd literally slipped her something. instead he gave her the pills bc she was under the weather and coughing, and she took them! like obviously it's still Very Bad bc he wasn't telling the whole truth and i am LIVID that kevi is now with professor fuck that guy lucis, but it feels different than if he'd just made her food and drugged it without her knowing at all, you feel?

idk. i don't see caleb as a potential LI for me personally. bc he did show signs of be overprotective and overbearing before he "died," and i personally don't fuck with that.

but i do think it does caleb's character an injustice to paint him a certain way. and i actually feel so protective of him bc he reminds me so much of another character (from a diff IP that i mention in one of my last posts abt caleb)

[low-keygee]

i am once again here to offer things about the thing 1982.

probably gonna be shorter bc i’m at work and don’t have much for this but i just needed it out of my brain.

at the very end of the movie when macready and childs are leant up against the barrels, they both share the sentiment of how tired they both are from the cold, the final showdown, the everything. i feel like macready letting on just how tired he is to childs was something of a last word, to let his vulnerabilities show.

in macready’s background he was a pilot in the vietnam war which was meant to explain why he was awake when the dogs were being attacked and why he tells the group after having been locked out that he’s a “real light sleeper”. so he obviously isn’t afraid to acknowledge what the war has done to him in that regard. but the end of the movie, plus this next scene show a bit of humanity for him.

when the drunken macready is recording the cassette for someone to find if/when they have been taken over/die/what have you. he talks about how the storm has been constant for two days and the long johns windows finds until he releases a small bit of what he’s feeling to the cassette.

“nobody.. nobody trusts anybody now. and we’re all very tired.”

he plays the tape back and starts speaking into it again, indicating he tapes over that line before saying “there’s nothing else i can do”.

macready’s insomnia really does seem to be a weak point for him. as much as everyone is aware of his poor sleeping habits, he doesn’t seem to want to admit just how tired he is. how powerless he feels in that regard.

in the defibrillator scene a while afterwards childs antagonizes mac with sleep (“you’re gonna have to sleep sometime macready”) which is where we get “i’m a real light sleeper” which then leads into a vague threat that mac never finishes (“and if anyone tries to wake me…”) which may mean the line prior is just meant to be taken more metaphoric (i think is the right word) than literal. like if childs tries to stir the outpost into taking out mac, mac will then do his dot dot dot.

then (i believe) the last mention is at the very end of the movie.

mac can hardly speak loud enough for childs to hear, his voice doesn’t hold the same command it has throughout the movie. he’s very much leaning against the barrels for support and is out of breath. he’s freezing, running on likely zero hours of sleep, after having faced off with the thing and sprinting out of the outpost before it blows. and he admits to childs as they both sit in the snow, knowing death will come soon for them both whether it be at the hands of the cold or the man before him, that he’s tired.

“if we’ve got any surprises for each other, i don’t think we’re in much shape to do anything about it”

“well.. what do we do?”

“why don’t we just.. wait here a little while. see what happens.”

mac finally lets on how tired he really is and lets himself sit and share a drink with childs before he dies in the snow.

i think his military past is important to talk about in this context as well. he was likely either taught or learned not to let on any weakness as a soldier as it would only earn him a knife in the back (hehe clark reference) and after leaving both the military and his previous job as a helicopter pilot to work at the outpost all he knew to do for his pain was to drown it in booze. he left to work at a research station where all he had to worry about was the weather and staying sober enough to take the chopper up. don’t think about macready being a war vet wanting peace of mind at a quiet research outpost in antarctica don’t think about it.

there’s been a few theories that childs was a thing and macready was testing him with a malatov cocktail but i think that they both died as men, and macready was able to rest knowing he’d served his outpost well.

idk if this was anything or if i’m reading too deep into mac’s 3 comments about sleep but his moment with the cassette and at the very end with childs always makes me so so sad and i needed to say the words out loud bc i heard a song that reminded me of mac 🫶