#and living with my parents... makes it. genuinely super hard to try to make community. ugh. again: wish I could move out and get therapy

[brown-little-robin]

I need to sleep for 70 hours and then maybe I'll feel not evil again

[gilverrwrites]

Hellooo, I hope ur doing well ;) Can I request Bruce Wayne/Batman for the headcanon meme ? I know this is a lot and I apologise in advance lol, but I’m genuinely so interested about your takes on Bruce 🫶🏼 Hi anon, I hope you don't mind but I'm posting this as a text post so I can add a read more to it. Thank you so much for the ask, I'm honored that you're curious my HCs. Again thank you, and have a super rest of your day! 💖💖💖

• what religion are they? how do they practice? Canonically, I believe he was raised catholic, and identifies as an atheist because if there was an all knowing God, why would he let Gotham exist as it is?

But I’ve always had trouble rationalising religion in comics. I’m also an atheist but if I’d met/knew Gods literally walked the Earth (Zeus for example) I would be having a crisis of faith. Pretty sure Superman once met the Christian God? Bruce clearly has a stronger sense of belief than I.  

So, practice wise; Growing up would be church on Sundays, grace before dinner. Nightly prayers. Once his parents had passed, while Bruce would be questioning his faith, I don’t think Alfred would have enforced such things if Bruce didn’t want to continue practicing.

• what holidays do they decorate for? For the longest time he didn’t decorate for any. Alfred decorated at least for Christmas every year, but Bruce stopped noticing once he became Batman.

It wasn’t until a young Dick mentioned he’d never been trick or treating that Bruce started to put the effort in. That year Dick had the best Robin Hood costume, Bruce dressed as Little John, and Alfred as Friar Tuck. Not only did Dick get to go trick or treating, but Bruce and Alfred decked out the front yard for any local kids too.

When thanksgiving rolled around, Alfred was delighted that Bruce seemed to care about it again, having gone out to buy new centre pieces. And that year was the first year since he was child that Bruce helped put up the Christmas decorations.

Every year he tried to one up the last, however, his presence on the day dwindles until Dick goes off to college and Bruce’s motivation to care about such frivolous things while Gotham needs him is gone. But this exact process repeats with every adopted child until there’s always somebody home, be they young and living with him or old and visiting.

• what clubs / sports were they involved in as a child / teenager When he dropped out of school, that also meant quitting any clubs and sports. The lack of team sports is probably a contributing factor to his inability to communicate well with others outside of strategy. However, prior to that he was a Cub Scout, as well as tennis and fencing (fuckin’ Rich kids).

Post homeschool (much like in the Gotham TV show) Alfred ensured Bruce was still doing outdoorsy activities; camping, hiking, learning survival skills. As well as Bruce insisting on multiple forms of combat training. He continued fencing.

• do they take any medications? No. That’s not to say he shouldn’t be on medication, he just doesn’t. Hard to speak to a professional when you can only tell them half of your life.

He does however take daily vitamins along with his protein, creatine etc. If he’s not taking supplements, Alfred is sneaking them into his food. He eats nothing but protein, gotta make sure he’s getting his nutrients somewhere.

• do they watch the olympics? do they prefer summer or winter Rarely has the time. But if and when he does sit down to watch I’d say his preferred watches are; tennis, fencing, boxing, and judo. Sports that mean something to him. For that reason he also prefers the summer games over winter.

• what are they like when they're sick? Nightmare. Alfred is a saint for putting up with it, honestly. That WFA comic where he’s trying desperately to get back to work whilest injured is 100% accurate to my imaginings. Even when he’s too sick to move, he’s still thinking up ways he can sneak out of bed, wondering if he should build a batlaptop for these sorts of occasions.

Crime is never sick; therefore Batman can’t be sick!

• what do they usually buy in a gift shop? It varies from place to place but typically:

Fridge magnet and/or some other small kitchen accessories for Alfred.

Stationary for Damian.

Preferably a cola drink, but if not a snack for Tim. He’s specifically looking for decorative packaging that can be saved. [See this Tim HC]

Pin badges for Babs.

Postcards for Dick.

An oversized hoodie for Cass. Black only.

An oversized hoodie for Steph. Tacky only.

Keying for Jason.

Puzzles or decorative decks of playing cards. (Duke is into tabletop card games, Bruce thinks they’re the same thing)

A coffee mug for himself.

• what color was their childhood bedroom? Blue, and it’s still blue but a lot of the furniture has changed. Can’t sleep in a kids bed forever.

Most of the new furniture is sleek, modern looking and black. He likes the gothic style, but this is where he often brings his dates/hook up, and the minimalist style suits his image better.

The old bed, desk, toy box etc haven’t been thrown out or anything, they’ve been used by most of his family as they’ve grown up and are currently in Damian’s room. Everyone who has used the desk (B included) has carved their their initials on the underside of it.

• what does a typical day off work look like for them? A day off? What’s that? Seriously, even if he’s not being Batman, he’s being Brucie, Mr Wayne, Matches, or Dad or even just working out.

On the rare, rare, rare occasions he’s not doing any of those things, the first thing he does is sleep in. He probably needs to sleep for 5 days straight, but he’ll only sleep until 10/11ish.

By now he’s missed breakfast (which is served from 8-9), so he’s latching onto the first person to pick up the phone and taking them out for brunch. By now he’s already itching to get back in the cave, and to thwart this he forces himself to stay in the city; go to a museum, walk in that park, visit a friend, go shopping for (another) new watch, anything but return home.

Will surprise Damian by picking him up from school. Damian, as he gets older externally complains and cringes more and more, but he loves it.

When they get home, he becomes a nuisance until dinner, offering help to everyone with anything to distract himself. It’s appreciated but nobody needs help with homework or housework.

After dinner is the home stretch, and the easiest part. He gathers as many people as he can in the family room for films or games, and by the time they’re done it’s bedtime.

He’s in the batcave at midnight.

• how many pillows do they sleep with? One. He has at least ten in the bed, every night she shifts all but his favourite to the floor, and every morning Alfred makes the bed and puts them all back and arranges them perfectly.

• what's their least favorite chore? He rarely does chores, but Alfred must have time off. The first time he took a week off since Bruce became Batman was the first time he realised the impracticality of having a CAVE! So much sweeping and dusting and everything smells damp, he has no idea how Alfred keeps it liveable because after 2 days Bruce was overwhelmed and ready to risk it all by moving everything upstairs.

• how often do they do their laundry? He doesn’t. If Alfred isn’t available, he’s been specifically instructed to take anything that needs cleaning to the dry cleaners. Not because he’s incapable of doing laundry, he’s not completely inept at doing normal things. He just thinks he can do it better. Which often results in the washer-dryer being ‘upgraded’ in ways that nobody ever needs, and Alfred hates it.

• what is their favorite wine / liquor? Prefers wine to spirits, specifically red. Or better yet, champagne.

When he does drink spirits he leans towards brandy, the same kind that his mother would drink.

• what is their favorite scent of candle? Citrusy, fresh scents. Something strong that pierced the musty smell of the Batcave or the damp of the city. Sage & citrus, lemon lime, maybe even mint cucumber.

• what's their guilty pleasure tv show? Again, he rarely watches TV. But I think at least once while on ordered bed rest he ‘accidentally’ watched every season of the Kardashian’s. He 'hated' every second.

He’s assigned all of his children a Kardashian and keeps up to date with every episode, just as a person who hates the show would do. He will never tell anyone else.

Tim knows. Bruce knows that Tim knows but they’ve never discussed it. Tim has never seen a single episode, but he’s seen memes, and will quote them in front of people to make Bruce sweat.

• have they ever done volunteer work? Bruce is a known philanthropist. The Wayne Foundation is a non-profit which primary cause is funding charities, hospitals, medical research, urban renewal, etc.

He puts a lot of money into The Wayne Hospital (or whatever its called dependant on the media). He also funds a lot of youth centres, and rehabilitation centres.

But as for actual hands-on charity work, no. It anything it would cause more harm than good.

Could you imagine being homeless, starving, at your lowest, and when you arrive there’s fucking media vans and photographers everywhere, cataloguing your worst? And then inside, the herald prince of the city that has screwed you over, billionaire Brucie Wayne is serving you ladles of dirt-cheap slop? You'd be mortified, pissed.

• do they listen to music or watch tv more often? Definitely music. TV is time consuming; music is easier to multi-task. I don't think he listens to much of anything other than classical and meditative music. Maybe some kind of classic rock workout playlist on Spotify that Babs occasionally hacks into and keeps adding back-to-back plays of Black Betty. Bruce gets so into his workouts that he doesn't notice until one day he realises he's done a 2-hour cardio session and Black Betty has been playing the entire time.

• do they watch the superbowl even if they aren't into football? Not into football and barely has the time. However, when it's football season, the men (and some women) in his social circles go crazy for it, so he keeps up with the matches through news reports and tries to watch the final, Batman missions permitting.

(Psst. I'm from the UK and know nothing about American football. I presume the Superbowl is preceded by a series of tournament matches like euro football (soccer) is?)

• do they collect anything? Children

Watches, and cars. Later in life, he's fixed on these things a lot more, because he's been collecting them for so long. But they started purely as a way to fit in with his high society peers. To make him appear more normal.

Imagine that scene in American Psycho where they're comparing busisness cards, but it's Gotham’s richest competing over who has the latest watch, the nicest vintage car etc. Now that he knows what he likes he's more focused in on those; he like vintage European watches and American cars.

I also love the idea that Dick once bought him an ugly novelty tie (completely earnestly) on like his second Christmas at the Manor, and that quickly became a tradition. Every year he gets a new tie, the most hideous the kids can find, and the following year, Bruce wears it during Christmas dinner.

• what hill are they willing to die on? Mint is the superior dessert flavour, milkshakes, ice cream, Oreos, coffee syrups. Dark chocolate and mint = peak.

[choicesficwriterscreations]

April OC of the Month: Olivia Hadley

Please welcome April 2024's MC of the Month! Each month, we highlight one MC or OC on our Meet My MC / OC List. They are selected randomly on the Wheel of Names, and eligibility requirements can be found here. We accept MC / OC profiles on an ongoing basis. Please feel free to send yours in!

This month’s OC of the month is…

@storyofmychoices's Olivia Hadley!

More below...

In your own words, tell us what you like most about your MC / OC.

Olivia is literally sunshine. She is the most genuine and empathetic person. She constantly looks for ways to help others and make life better for those who are not as fortunate as she is. She always tries to make everyone she meets (especially children) feel special and heard/appreciated. It doesn’t matter if she knows them or not. She looks out for everyone. She is just a good person with the most beautiful heart and soul. She is so precious to me. In an ideal world, there would be a lot more Olivia’s to help us all feel special.

Do you feel your MC / OC is like you at all? How are you alike or different?

I do think Olivia and I have a lot in common. While I wish I could be as kind and empathetic as Olivia, I am still human, and I make mistakes. I try really hard to live by the principles of “leave the world a little better than you found it” (even if it’s just putting away a grocery cart someone left or picking up one piece of trash in a parking lot) and “be kind whenever possible; it is always possible” (this one is a little harder, but I try every single day to show kindness to everyone, even when I cannot show it to myself). I feel those principles also represent Olivia, she’s just better at it than me.

I also think we have similar occupations. We both wanted to be veterinarians and then learned we’d have to put animals down. Then we both switched to Pediatric Medicine. Olivia stuck with it. I decided to be a teacher because Pediatricians need to know how to deliver babies, and that’s a hard pass for me. Childbirth might be a miracle, but it’s disgusting (IMHO) lol. But we both work closely with children and try to make a positive impact on their lives. We both do whatever we can to create a safe place where children can tell us stuff they don’t know if they can share with their parents yet (questioning their sexual identity or gender). I’ve been very lucky to help several transgender elementary students feel more confident and accepted as well as work with parents to help them help their child. I’ve also worked with students with abusive home lives or their families can’t afford basic needs so I’ve gone out of my way to try to help them through anonymous donations and gift cards through the school. Anything I can do to ease even one struggle, I will do it and I think that is very much the person Olivia is. Olivia will always look out for anyone in her life. 

As for differences, Olivia is a little more confident than I am. I drink far more coffee than she does. We both love plants, but she keeps them alive better than I do. I try, but I don’t always succeed, though a cactus I got as a gift from a student 3 years ago just bloomed for the first time this month, so I’m super excited for that. Maybe Olivia is finally rubbing off?

What is most important to your MC / OC? What is their motivation in life?

Olivia’s motivation is truly to make the world a better place. She knows that it’s not always easy, and there are so many struggles and so many hardships. She really wants to make a difference in the lives of those closest to her as well as in the community she serves. She knows she can’t conquer world hunger or global peace, but if she can make a difference to people around her then maybe those people can help some others and things would ripple out from there. 

After she has children, her motivation splits. She’ll never stop caring about those around her or the patients she sees, but her children are her first priority.

What are their biggest pet peeves/dislikes?

Olivia doesn’t like gossip. She doesn’t like when people talk about others behind their back in a negative way. It makes her feel uncomfortable. She doesn’t like passive aggressive responses to situations. She genuinely believes that people are good, and if we all just try to have a little more empathy and understanding, the world would be a better place. 

She doesn't like rudeness, pettiness, or dishonesty.

Olivia prefers order and organization, so she dislikes chaos and messy places. 

If your MC / OC could change one thing - anything - what would it be?

If Olivia could change anything, she’d find a cure for childhood cancer. She takes each case to heart and watching children struggle is something that is very hard for her. She would never trade her time at Edenbrook for anything, and she feels guilty for even thinking it, but she is grateful when she opens her own practice that most of her cases become regular checkups and normal/everyday illnesses.

What is your MC / OC’s favorite quote or song?

“My favorite things in life don't cost any money. It's really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time." — Steve Jobs

“You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot - it’s all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that, I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.” ― Maya Angelou

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." —Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow." — Mary Anne Radmacher

“Even miracles take a little time.” — Fairy GodMother (Cinderella) 

“Happily ever after is about finding happiness within yourself and holding on to it through any storm that comes your way." —Chris Colfer

Is there anything else you’d like to share about your MC / OC?  (It can be why you created them, how they’ve inspired you, or you could write a little blurb as if it is coming from your OC - an acceptance speech. :) )

Ahhh what else to say about my precious Olivia?! She truly brings me so much joy.  

If you’ve been in this fandom long enough, you’ll remember I was an Ethan romancer when OH first released. I enjoyed Ethan/MC’s dynamic. They totally reminded me of Thomas Hunt x MC. However, just before the pandemic, I wrote Bryce, thinking it was a one off thing, but as the world started to shut down, things got darker and scarier, Bryce Lahela’s sunshine and encouragement was something that resonated with me. I tried to make Olivia fit in the role of MC, but I just didn’t like the setup of MC with Bryce. So I made Olivia an original character. Taking her out of that MC role gave me so much more freedom with her and so much more freedom for telling her and Bryce’s story. I loved being able to see where each story would take them. I’m eternally grateful to Olivia (and Bryce) for helping me get through the Covid Pandemic. Having her and Bryce and their friends and family helped me have something positive and hope-filled to hold onto.

Olivia is actually really competitive. You might not see it or notice it at first, but if you’ve ever been a part of any competition with her, you’ll see she will not hold back. 

Olivia has a black belt in taekwondo, even though she never talks about it. She got it in High School. She wanted to do something to challenge herself and she wasn’t participating in any team sports, though she did try to get a pingpong team started in her school but it never took off. 

Olivia volunteered with Habitat for Humanity for a summer in the Dominican Republic.

Olivia has Scottish roots and has always dreamed of going to Scotland. She hasn’t gotten there yet, but one day!

Olivia is almost as lucky to have such good friends in Casey and Merida as I am to have @jerzwriter and @lilyoffandoms in my life. I can’t even begin to express how special they are to me and how I treasure their friendship.

Thank you to everyone who has ever supported Olivia. She is truly a special character who is so close to my heart. The fact that she is truly an original character and you still adore her means so much to me. I can’t say thank you enough. The amount of serotonin I get from writing and sharing her with you should be illegal, and then when anyone interacts, my heart explodes with unicorns and rainbows and all the sunshine. I’m eternally grateful for the support of Olivia, Bryce, and their little world. Thank you!!! 

[roshellow29]

Idk why but I feel the need to rant about trolls band together so here's a warning for SPOILERS.

TL;DR I'll be talking shit about major conflict parts in the movie that I wished were handled differently >:((((

Please take caution (and a deep breath) reading this because I'm very bad at making sense when I ramble ok? Ok les go

OK SO.

The movie was great, loved the songs and I enjoyed branches family shenanigans, including supportive girlfriend poppy I've been WAITING FOR THIS (ifykyk)

But here are some things that bothered me that they could've definitely done differently

1. JOHN DORYS ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC- jd is great. He's actually my favorite! He's a cringefail boyfailiure and I love him for it. In the movie, his whole thing was that he was basically an ass who didn't listen to his siblings and always pressured and bossed them around. Cool, that's established. What's not is, Why??? It's really the whole "perfect family harmony" thing I guess.

Because later in the conflict he says that it was "hard being responsible for four younger siblings" (which bitch me too were litteraly the same) and that all they needed to be was perfect. what I don't understand is why? Why the whole perfect harmony? Where did it come from? They didn't say it was a big thing or that other bands did it? Would it get them more fame? Would it mean that they're perceived as the perfect brothers or something?? Also, why wasn't the grandmother more involved with the kids?? Did she pressure him to care for his siblings because their parents weren't involved or something? That's just one thing that's not really explained to me ig 🤔

And the whole thing that bothers me with jd is that he doesn't do the cliché "branch I'm sorry I was an asshole brother, and I wanna be a better troll to you and our bros. And blah blah blah" like they skip that entire potential jd apology??? I was expecting that with a hug?? I WANTED A HUG WITH BRANCH AND JD OK. He genuinely cares about him!!! You can see it, he really does. He's just bad at communicating. Like extremely - so they skipped that and just made him go, "We'll follow ur lead branch," and that's it.😐 no apology. No proper character development. Just him going "ok yeah I'll follow u one time." LIKE HUH. (This also includes the other siblings cuz they dipped on branch the same, and none of them said sorry!!)

OH and another thing. WHY WERE CLAY AND BRUCE SUCH ASSHOLES TO JD. ESPECIALLY CLAY. like I completely get it, he was an asshole, he pressured and bossed you around, we know that. But that was 20 PLUS YEARS AGO??? Like no you don't have to hug him but damn why r yall so cold???

I'm thinking that because I'm p sure they went no contact at all after they broke up. So how r they so sure he's still the way he was before?? (I mean they were kinda right but still) like you could've been super happy and then get disappointed later when trying to practice hitting the note. It would've made more sense to me idk. Like it just bothers me that they straight up ignore him- it's mean! (But I can't be too mad I mean they all have their reasons ig 🙄)

While we're on the topic of the family, on to my next point.

2. ROSIEPUFF AND HER DEATH. I think it was handled HORRIBLY. Like the whole movie I was just like "plz don't skip over it plz don't skip over it." And then branch drops the bomb on them right (which still caught me off guard like damn) and THEYRE DUMBFOUNDED, GREAT. And then after that there's NOTHING. NOTHING!?!??!?!?!? they don't mention it they don't apologize to branch for what he went through they don't take two seconds to mourn her they're just like "wait she dead?" And then fucking move on like. Why???? they don't question how, they don't question when branch was living in solidarity for 20 years, nothing. and I'm mad as fuck because that was part of Branches entire CHARACTER ARC in the first movie!! They don't mention he was gray they don't mention he didn't sing they don't mention anything. He went through that for 20 YEARS, ALONE. and they don't mention it. I rlly hated that- like they rlly didn't care.

Anyway.

Third smaller topic that I thought was gonna happen

3. I thought clay was gonna end up going, "actually yknow what, I AM fun" and then embrace himself because hes most definitely goofy. But nah they left him trying so hard to convince himself he's serious, and tbh he just came across as branch 2.0.

Alright moving on!!

4. I'm mad they didn't include a little flashback of viva and poppy being inseparable until the escape happened. Like I know popps was an infant but at the same time troll kids talk the day they're born, so it would've been nice to see them be together at least once before they separated.

Also.

I WANNA DECK PEPPY IN THE FACE. you lost your daughter and instead of MOURNING her and spreading her memory you decided to act like she didn't EXIST. WHY. like he was obviously depressed and sad but why didn't you tell poppy stories of her when she was a kid or something? And keep her memory alive??

(And sure. There's the thing with "They weren't gonna give poppy a sister until now" but I feel like they could've at least made poppy remember a small flashback is what I'm saying.)

Idk. I just wish it was handled differently like why is peppy keeping so much shit to himself lmao.

Oh yeah and then there's just my little nitpick and it's that I wish they included the troll leaders in the wedding sequence ok they're all friends they should've been invited ok I just wanted to see them again 😭(totally not saying thus cuz world tour is my fav but I am)

Anyway, yeah! I think this is just what mainly bothers me about the movie. I just feel like the conflict was handled poorly. But either than that it's still a good watch. I like it a lot :D

If you read this far, God damn you like to read, and thanks for dealing with my stupid thoughts!

If not, that's OK lol.

[k1ng0fsug4r]

⬇ Virgo Lore Dump ⬇

Thinking about Virgo late at night and his bio and constantly switching from 'ha, he's a little guy that makes up his own catchphrases and has half episodic half narrative driven adventures' to trying to find a simpler way to describe how his parents lived in an area of a sort of domesticated nowhere living unfulfilling lives before he was born.

And he was seen as 'odd' (neurodivergent) by the community because he didn't cry or say or relatively do anything but stare at people the entire time and for awhile he didn't care because he had his multitasking mom and comic-collecting dad, but when he started school, it kinda started to get to him, but he didn't really know it yet.

Then one day, during a 'bring your child to work' day at a factory, Virgo just wandered off and pushed a button to try and finally be 'worth it', but his dad pushed him out the way in time and got crushed in front of him. And it shocked everyone, but also sent his mom into this depressive spiral that made her unable to take care of him.

And so he tries to help again by touching her binder of notes and papers, but accidentally breaks it and when he tries again when his mother sees and tries to pick it up, she hits him in a way that blurs between 'accidental' and 'on purpose' while also delivering a harsh line about 'a mistake' with the same blurred context before she just locks herself in her room and so he just gives up and does that too.

And later on, for a period of time that's fuzzy to him, his aunt and uncle find them in comatose-like states and surrounded by filth with Virgo just staring blankly at a TV, and they take him with them to the harmony zone. And while he's recovering, his auntie teaches him to draw and his uncle takes him to a video shop that looked like the comic covers his dad used to show him.

And after watching some, he looks at the origin stories and how they felt singled out by the universe, but rose above it all by being super and overcoming their faults, and so that's when he becomes 'actualized' and makes his own costume and hesitantly puts on the cape his dad gave him once before adopting a more heroic personality that's fake at first and even more disorienting to people, but over time he grows to love it because now even though he keeps floundering and screwing up and getting himself hurt, its just a small step. Just a flesh wound until he gets on his feet.

And it's also the reason he picks up his 'enemy of fate' moniker because he genuinely believes himself to be some mistake that slipped through the cracks and was born to be bad luck or a constant detriment to himself and others. And that slowly accumulates into this fear that no matter how hard he tries, he's either gonna end up crushed under the pressure, either literally like his dad or figuratively like his mom. And he tries to be cool about it, but as time goes on, he starts being less loud and active and showing signs of regressing again because the days are blurring, and he's starting to think "Oh no…I put all my hope and efforts into this, and I'm gonna fail."

And then Kooky and the Sxratch and the M.R.D.H come along and despite how other kids wouldn't involve themselves, Virgo jumps in almost instantly because to him, this is literally his one chance. To him, Kooky is literally his miracle (she literally looks eerily similar to his first doodles) and even though she yells at him a lot, he's determined to make this work at first because of a guilty self-indulgence, but later on feeling a connection with her feeling's of being trapped and having to quarrel with the implications of 'not being real' and coming from nothing

[positivelybeastly]

What would Hank do if his reputation was ruined?

"Invest in a long, heavy coat, and find somewhere quiet to live, I suppose. Perhaps I could go to my parents' farm, help them out. I can't say I ever thought my life would ever be uneventful again, but if that's to be my penance, then . . ."

I mean, it depends on what that reputation is, honestly. Even when he was being raked over the coals for the Inhumans stuff, or the time travel debacle, he was still widely accepted in the superhero community as an intellectual force and someone to be trusted - that's the advantage of having worked with so many people and been known as such a hard working, good hearted individual, it takes a lot to irrevocably ruin that rep. So, we'll assume it's the reputation he would have if X-Force shenanigans came to light.

If it's X-Force Beast who has to own what he did, I think that anything less than lifetime imprisonment or just straight up getting shanked by Wolverine or having his brain turned off by a telepath doesn't really make sense. He's done too much and there's no real reason to spare him since he's too far gone now to come back. Assuming that doesn't happen, though?

X-Force Beast wouldn't care about his reputation - for whatever reason, Percy's version of Beast is a super genius intelligence director who is literally incapable of being diplomatic or genuinely deceptive, he's always super obvious about what he's doing and incapable of playing the charm game anymore.

He probably relishes in that reputation a little bit, since he's either living in Krakoa under diplomatic immunity or already on the run, and he hates everything in existence too much to truly care that he's broken a good few hearts by doing what he's done.

It's one of the reasons the villain turn is super lame, there's no real emotional stake in it for either side of the equation. No-one cares. No-one gives a fuck. There's 'betrayal' in maybe, like, three panels (and I mean panels, not pages) - Percy wanted to have his cake of everyone hating Beast from moment one, and eat it too by having everyone be like, well, we always knew he was shady.

Everyone throttles to angry rather than betrayed or heartbroken, no-one seems to have ever believed that Hank was a good guy, so everyone's just, like, anaesthetised, oh, we always knew he was shady!

If you supposedly knew he was shady, why the fuck did you give him the position, dipfucks?

But resurrected Beast . . . well, honestly, he kinda would and wouldn't care, but for very different reasons.

On the one hand, Hank cares a lot about his reputation, he's always very careful about how he speaks and how he acts and what he does and how that comes across. He's borderline obsessed with being seen as a man first and a beast second. He's also one of the most public mutants in the world, so he feels an obligation to be an ambassador for mutantkind and be a friendly face.

So if all of that got ruined? It would hurt him. Scar him. It would be a pretty deep, lacerating hit to his already weak and bloodied sense of security about himself. It would be hard for him to come back from and I don't know if he'd be able to do it on his own - he might have to go back to his parents' farm and just, find himself again, work out where to go from here, because he'd feel like his entire life plan, his entire philosophy, just . . . failed.

But he would still want to do good. Try and fix that reputation, try and make up for what he did. I doubt he'd think it would ever be enough, but I feel like he'd try, at least. People would just have to feel comfortable letting him, which is. An ask.

[theskybluesky]

Accidentally found out today that my bro’s gf actually dislikes us haha.

I felt sad because reality often hides behind a sweet smile. I always thought she was a genuine, extroverted soul but I guess I didn’t truly understand her. I wonder if she’s annoyed with our family’s habits?

When I first found out my bro had a gf, I was so happy for him. Being the quiet guy he is, I always hoped he would find someone suitable for him. At the start, I was excited to meet her. I secretly hoped we would have a relationship akin to sisters since I’ve never had a sister before.

I always admire that she exerts a lot of effort to show care towards my parents during celebrations e.g. sending pretty gifts to our house for every occasion. Her family background is quite different from ours in the sense that she never grew up with siblings, her mother passed away a few years back and she has a complicated relationship with her dad. As such, I assumed that she would be comforted that my brother has a relatively normal, supportive family who will always have her back.

I wonder at which point did she start wanting to avoid us? Everything is sunshine and roses at the start of a relationship, but as two lives slowly merge into one, there are bound to be misalignments and road blocks. I of all people understand that my family is a difficult bag of personalities.

It’s overwhelming even for me, to spend too much time with my mum. It’s not that I don’t love her, she’s just a very hypocritical person. Someone that wants things her way and loses her temper easily. Someone who talks behind the backs of others and has opinions about everything. Yet she will say that it’s not right to badmouth others and emphasize that she’s not that kind of person.

I know it’s difficult to get along with her. It’s tiring, and she’s the only person that can make me angry consistently. She’s the main reason why I had to move out to my own apartment. Honestly, I would be exhausted having her as a mother in law haha.

My dad is a generous and talkative person. However, he knows not to overstep boundaries and is generally a relaxed person. I imagine his only frictional point with my bro’s gf is that he’s super clingy towards my brother and me. He wants us to always be together and eat every meal together. This often means that she needs to come along cause it wouldn’t be right for my brother to neglect her to spend time with us. After eating, my dad is often still not satisfied and would want to do activities together until late at night. It can get very tiring for an outsider to spend so many hours entertaining someone else’s family. Especially when she has to act like she’s in the best of moods and appear to be happy throughout the night. My dad also has the bad habit of wanting to control the conversation at every meal. He is a bad listener, and he expects all of us to listen to his stories at work, his interests, his personal views. That’s pretty much the reason why my bro and I became introverted listeners in the family. Cause both of our parents are dominant types.

As for me, I guess she could dislike me for being messy sometimes or being too indecisive. I often try to accommodate to whatever others want to do, so it’s hard for me to actually make choices. I’m hopeless in that sense cause my mind literally turns blank when I’m faced with options. As she’s the opposite of me, I can imagine she would be annoyed internally when she’s talking to me.

I’m lost now after finding out about her true feelings. I can try to advise my parents to give her more space, but at the same time I wouldn’t know how to explain to them the reason behind my advice. If I don’t do anything, will this become a significant pain point between my brother and her? I’m scared that it creates a drift between them. I know the easiest thing for me to do is to just act like I don’t know anything, but it just goes against my instinct when I know I can help.

I think eventually, she will need to communicate this clearly to my brother. That she doesn’t enjoy spending time with us. I just wonder how my brother will react once he knows. I know my brother has always been a responsible son and brother. He’s so good towards me and I know he always prioritizes our family. I don’t want them to grow apart because of us.

Maybe it’s because I’m in a relationship now where the other party also has a significant bond with his own family. I know the feeling of being present with another family yet not truly feeling heard or prioritised. However, I do know that communication solves a lot of tension in situations like this. Sometimes, we just need to speak our minds and voice out the ugly truths. Nobody is perfect, we all have pet peeves and annoyances. This negative energy only becomes a problem when it’s left to broil and accumulate into a giant blackhole. To be honest, all my previous relationships ended due to a build up of negative emotions. Simply because I always held everything in until I felt numb and burnt out inside. Until the flame inside me died.

Sigh, this post can go on for ages without a viable solution. I just hope that I can treat her better, be kinder to her and understand her better. I wish she knew that I understand her struggles and that she can rely on my brother and me to face our family together.

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

it okay need help not bad thing should not be shamed

but same time want talk about just how annoying am need help every day with basic thing how many times don’t want need help just want be able do by self no other people

me situation, for example:

many thing, so private. like physical help get dressed n shower. even for me who don’t have many sense of what private, it still annoying not able get be alone need be with people all time and cannot be stopped that they start talking.

in fact when need help many bADLs, people around all time. am have hard time communicate, and easily overwhelm by people especially if by people long time no time by self. people talk, ask questions am not able to answer (especially frustrate if obviously cannot communicate like an use AAC full time and if hands full hands dirty or AAC not with literally cannot answer, but others reasons like have hard time communicate even if AAC), or talk about self tell story vent about frustrate ask advice etc etc. (some these topic not appropriate for most hired carer to tell you when they work if you no say yes but some don’t care just do anyway and others get care by people like parents)

other times they judge they give advice that not asked for they limit what you allow do make decisions for you. they have power over you because you need them you can’t leave you force stay force listen.

then question. why so many frustrate noises why so many “tantrums” why so many behavioral problems why so many meltdowns.

even if no talk, just presence of people can make overwhelm can add cognitive load.

most people most interaction, overwhelm and cognitive load. everytime meet people, need days by self to slowly stop be overwhelm, but when live with people live with help need help most things, that never possible.

if caregiver not familiar with your need. create more frustrate.

most people no true concept of how disability work. (yes this include what disabled community here complain as “overrepresented disabilities” like paraplegic & SCI etc). don’t realize how many detail come with. from everyday people to people who “work in” disability fields. even disabled people, not have all disabilities, not know all disabilities.

so many little detail. no do not walk infront of me in wheelchair or else will run into you. but yes need follow behind you can’t navigate on own. no do not ask me open end questions when i hand full can’t use AAC. no your “how far is far” “how long is long” very different from my disabled versions.

and. am communication disabled. all these thoughts n needs, trapped inside. no one can read mind. hard time explain hard time even start communicate.

even well meaning caregivers genuine try ask what need and no need help with so they know when help when no help, not infantize you or see you as super crip can do everything, perfect person perfect scenario—even that get frustrate get tiring.

but more frequently, will meet the assume normal until otherwise “you can’t do that??” or opposite assume can’t do anything can’t understand anything get surprised at able do any little thing.

even if know everything about disability (which, gosh would avoid so much headache), every disabled person need different, still need explain.

the get to know phase. so exhausting.

everything about me need care, exhausting. this only fraction.

[sleepy-shutin]

8, 19, 25?

8. Do you have a(ny) fictional introject(s)? What is that like for you?

not any true fictional introjects, no, not to my knowledge. most of them are just fragments or loose splits that latched onto the identities of various fictional characters, and don't have a super strong attachment to source. some do have pseudomemories, i think.

i think one of the only true introjects we have is the abuser introject of our mother, who doesn't seem to front often or really interact with the main system right now.

19. How do you experience gender?

with great difficulty.

25. What is a piece of misinformation about DID/OSDD do you want to clear up?

just one?

putting it under a cut because this got long, lmao.

i'm gonna be honest, if you think you have 100+ alters at, like, 15 after only knowing about your system for a few months, and especially if your only reading into DID info has been carrds and twitter threads, you don't have 100+ alters. i hate to break it to you but you're probably making the same mistake i did at 15 and getting what is and isn't an alter very confused, and accidentally inflating your alter count.

this isn't fakeclaiming, this isn't an attack, nor am i saying this with anyone in particular on my mind, this is just genuine advice that i think the younger parts of the DID community really need to take to heart; please be careful when trying to figure out if you have new alters. don't speedrun it, take it slow. i know a lot of the community may make you feel like you have to know everyone in your system within a few months and have perfect communication, and while that may be the reality for some people, that tends to be, more often than not, the reality of people in DID therapy and/or out of their traumatic/abusive home environments, and not kids without dissociative specialists who are still living in shitty homes.

please, for the love of god, take it from someone who made these exact mistakes due to misinformation in the DID community: read some books about DID, learn the differences between alters and daydreams, kin-related feelings about fictional characters and mood swings, and stop thinking that you have to split at every minor stress, because you don't and you won't. do this and you might realize that you don't split as often as you think you do.

because the thing that many teenagers with DID fail to take into account is the entire teenage puberty thing. mood swings, hormones, trying to figure out your identity in the world, experimenting with phases of interests and aesthetics, becoming sexually active (in most/many cases), realizing romantic/sexual feelings, realizing that you've been treated badly/unfairly in the past, especially by parents, etc. all of these things related to teenage years can make finding out whats an alter and what isn't, *especially* when you add maladaptive daydreaming on top of that, where some things can feel very real or affect you very hard, and might seem out of your control, so many might just assume that it's an alter when it isn't.

especially with the way social media works, many younger people just tend to take whatever they see online as pure fact without looking into it, especially if it's presented in a semi-professional and confident fashion, which is a HUGE weakness in younger parts of the DID community. many assume that just because a person with DID said it could happen, that it's definitely true and never misinterpreted symptoms or even that the person in question could be lying on purpose. having DID doesn't make you an expert on DID, it makes you an expert on your own experiences with DID, and you can't speak for *anyone's* experiences except for your own. even then, you have to be willing to understand that you may be interpreting parts of your disorder incorrectly, especially when other disorders are involved that may cloud your symptoms somewhat.

i am desperately begging younger parts of the DID community to do some actual reading into the disorder that's more than just tiktoks, twitter threads and carrds without sources. please figure out how the disorder works, how it's actually formed, and make sure what you're saying about the disorder is as accurate as possible. i will even find a way to hand you any DID-related book you want *for free* if you're actually serious about doing the research.

i'm just so tired of misinformation in the DID community being spread by people claiming to have 250+ alters after knowing about their system for 6 months or less and having done no substantial reading into the disorder. if you don't know something about the disorder, if you realize that you are limited in your understanding of it because you haven't read primary, scientific sources on the subject of DID, then it is completely okay to say that and refer a person's questions to someone else who *has* done the hard reading. it is okay to say "i don't know" and have someone else answer the question, you do not have to be a walking encyclopedia of knowledge about DID, and thinking that you do or that you are an expert just because you have DID does a whole hell of a lot more harm than good.

[treasure-hwa]

no love anymore?

pairing: mingyu x female reader

genre: fake angst, fluff

synopsis: Haeun hears a talking between her parents and misunderstands it, getting super confused when they act like the usual lovey-dovey couple. Weren't they going to get a divorce?

word count: 1931

contents: married couple, parents au, mentions of divorce.

author's note: aaaaaa Kim Mingyu, I love you so much ugh! Happy birthday! About the story, I have no idea how little kids speak English, so I just... tried.

Taehwan was playing on his bedroom, patiently waiting for his older sister, Haeun, to come back from taking a glass of water. He simulated a car hitting and made ambulance sounds to make the playing more interesting.

He always got so immersed on his playing that he almost didn't notice Haeun coming back, her big eyes filled with tears, nose red and lip quivering.

— Noona! Let's play! — He shook his toy car, barely looking at the girl, who just nodded and tried to not think about what she had just heard.

That, however, proved itself to be a hard task as she was constantly remembering about the talk she had accidentally heard between her parents.

"— What is left to do now?

— Divorce is the best option, unfortunately.

— I guess you are right. There's no escaping this now."

Dad had always said how communication is the key to everything and how their family should talk to each other when they had an issue. Mom would complete saying they would never be angry about bad grades, for example, they would try to solve it together. But listening to others' conversation was very rude. So how could Haeun tell her worries to her parents?

On the other room, Mingyu was talking on the phone to one of his best friends about the divorce. It was the best solution now that things got to that point. They would be better far from each other.

When it was bedtime, the little girl was already at her bed, hiding her face on the pillow, that was taking her few tears silently. She could hear her mom brushing her brother's teeth on the bathroom and talking happily to him, but her mind was busy.

She knew what a divorce was. Her friend at school said her parents' were getting a divorce and that meant they wouldn't be a couple anymore and would live in different houses. Another friend said it was good, because she would have two bedrooms, two houses and twice more toys, but Haeun thought it was awful. She loved seeing her mom and dad together, she loved playing with them and dancing and singing with them in the kitchen. If they separated, how could she get those moments she cherished so much?

— Okay, my little angels. I have something important to say to you.

The girl heard her mom speaking lowly when she entered the child's room with Taehwan on her lap and sat up right away, drying her face of tears. It was the moment. Mom would tell them about the divorce.

Except... she didn't.

— Your dad's birthday is coming in a few days and I wanted to ask you two to make nice presents to him. It can be a really good drawing or a sweet message. And we will make his breakfast. What do you think?

— I will do best drawing for daddy!

— Awn, Tae, will you? Thanks, prince! And you, Haeun? — The mother looked at her oldest child and noticed the faint red on her face. — Princess, were you crying?

— Me? No! I was just with my face smushed on the pillow. I think I'll write something for dad. — Haeun quickly changed the topic. 

— Okay, thank you, guys! You are the best! — She high-fived the little ones, but stopped the excitement when Mingyu came into the room.

— What are the loves of my life planning, hm?

"Loves of my life". That means me and Taehwan now that he doesn't love mom anymore.

— Nothing, daddy! — Taehwan covered his own mouth after giggling, and Mingyu took him on his arms, smiling.

— Well, it's bedtime, so you should all be in bed. Let's leave Haeun so she can have her beauty sleep.

The three kissed Haeun's forehead and got out of her room, letting her sleep, but she couldn't close her eyes for the first minutes and when she did, she dreamt she was all alone. She had many really nice toys, but dad was cooking alone, mom didn't finish his singing and Taehwan didn't have his parents to help him swing while they were walking and he was clutching on their hands. It felt sad and she woke up crying in the middle of the night, so she made her way to her parents’ bedroom and nudged her father to wake up?

— Princess? What are you doing up at... — Mingyu looked at the digital clock, and spoke again, voice hoarse and heavy with sleep. — At three in the morning?

— I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?

He nodded, even though she could barely see it. The man took her daughter and laid her on the bed, between him and his wife, who noticed the movement and woke up right away. Being a mother meant light sleep for the rest of her life.

— Love, she had a bad dream.

— Okay. — The woman smiled sleepily. — We will take care of our big girl, no monsters will take my Haeun away.

The next day, Haeun and Taehwan kept their promise and made nice things to their dad, and the activity helped her forget the divorce thing and the lacking of love dream. She helped her brother with drawing and coloring and wrote a card for Mingyu, with the nicest words she knew.

— Noona, daddy like my drawing? — The boy showed his colorful drawing.

— Yes, I'm sure he will, Tae!

Then she saw her parents going to the kitchen. Mingyu followed and tried to talk to his wife, but she wouldn't listen at all. Haeun felt her eyes fill with tears again. Would they argue? Would they want the divorce faster? She didn't want to see nor hear it, so she asked Taehwan to take his drawing and pencils to his bedroom, far from the kitchen.

— What is wrong, noona?

— Nothing, nothing, let's go back to painting on your room, okay?

— But..

— I think mom and dad will divorce, okay?

— Okay? — Taehwan asked more than agreed, as he didn’t know that word yet.

When Mingyu's birthday came, his wife prepared a really nice breakfast with a little help from the kids and laid it all out on the table, she even picked some nice flowers from the garden to decorate it.

— Beautiful, mommy.

— Thanks, prince! Daddy deserves it. Now, let's go wake him up!

They walked to the couple's shared room and got on bed carefully to not wake the big sleeping body. The woman smiled big and kissed his forehead while caressing his jaw gently, she was just so happy to be spending another birthday by his side.

— Gyu, babe... Good morning, my love...

Why was she being so sweet towards him?

Mingyu mumbled out a "morning" back. That was when the woman let the kids wake their dad up, so they jumped on him and kissed his face several times, saying "wake up, daddy! Wake up! Happy birthday!"

Nonetheless to say, Mingyu woke real fast with his children and engulfed them in a hug with his strong arms.

— My babies woke up so early for me — he whined cutely, kissing their heads. — Even mister Kim Taehwan. Thanks, babies!

— Mommy gets kiss too? — Taehwan asked, pointing to the smiling woman.

— Of course she does!

He sat up and took his wife's face on his hands, pecking her lips.

— Happy birthday, Gyu. I’ll give you your gift later, okay?

— Thanks, my love. You already gave me the best gifts I could have ever asked for, though. — He looked at their kids with a loving gaze. 

Haeun was so confused right now. Why were they smiling and kissing each other if they were getting a divorce? Didn't divorce mean you didn't love each other anymore?

— Come on, Gyu, we prepared a delicious breakfast for you.

He smiled and made surprised sounds, engulfing his family on another big hug before getting out of bed and taking them to the kitchen table, where pancakes, fruits, juice and coffee could be seen. Beside the plate, however, Mingyu saw colored cards with hearts on the front and a drawing of a sticky family of four.

Taehwan wriggled from his dad's embrace and ran to his chair, taking a strawberry of the plate and stuffing his mouth. However, he stopped his munching to ask something:

— Dad, what...

— Swallow first, Taehwan. — Mingyu said, smiling like a fool while he was analysing the paper gifts. Taehwan obeyed. — Now, speak.

— Dad, what is divorce?

He was taken aback by the sudden question, but explained the best he could:

— Divorce? Hmm, well, it's when a married couple doesn't love each other anymore and decides to live alone again.

Almost instantly, the boy's big eyes filled with tears and his lower lip jutted forward, forming a pout that was painful to look at, because the little one looked genuinely sad.

— Why you no love mommy? — He said.

— What? I love mommy.

— Bu-But you are divorcing! No love!

— Who said that to you?

Taehwan pointed to Haeun in front of him, who was as confused and teary eyed.

— Haeun, why did you say that to your brother? You know lying is a no-no.

She wasn't lying! She heard their talk, she knew what they were talking about and she would tell them that on that moment.

— I heard you and mom talking about how getting a divorce was the only thing left, that it was inevitable. And I know what dicorce means, because my friend's parents are getting one and she will have two houses, two TVs, more toys, but I don't want it! I want mom and dad together!

Mingyu took her on his lap and hugged her while the mother took the youngest on her arms. The man dried the many tears of his daughter and held her face close to his.

— Haeun, sweetheart, you understood it wrong. Me and your mom are not getting a divorce, we love each other too much, we will never separate. There is just... this super strong force that keeps us together.

— So... why were you talking about it?

— It was about dad's friend. He had trouble with his wife and will get a divorce. It was not about me and mom, you heard just a fraction of the talk.

— And — she sobbed, calming down slowly — why were you following mom to the kitchen yesterday, trying to talk and she was not listening to you?

— Oh, babe, that was your dad being stubborn — the woman said, caressing her son's back, but looking at her daughter with so much love. — He said I should cancel his birthday party, but don't you think we should celebrate?

The girl looked at her dad, who was giggling at his wife, caressing her hip with his fingertips.

— Yeah, dad, we should have a party. It's your birthday!

— Party! — the boy exclaimed and patted his father's messy hair. — Party for daddy.

Mingyu chuckled and put Haeun back on her chair, cutting the pancake in pieces for her.

— Okay, okay, my little angels, party for daddy. We will celebrate later. Now, let's eat!

So, while the four of them were laughing, eating and complimenting the breakfast, Haeun understood her parents could never be away for each other for the love was too much for only one heart. They needed to be together forever, like the happy family they have always been.

[koganegawasimp]

Hello! I’m so happy about how my request had turned out! I noticed how you said you would live some poly seijoh requests... that would’ve have been apart of my last one but I didn’t think you wrote for that. So! What I’m saying is, how about you write some of your own poly seijoh headcanons! Anything you’d like! I really love those boys and would kill to read it! 🤍🤍

Hi!! I loved writing these so much oh my god!! I also added to my rules that I’ll write for poly relationships!! I kind of went a little bit overboard with this, and I wasn’t 100% sure about how to end it, but I hope you enjoy!! I tried to write an equal amount about each boy but I feel like I didn’t write as much for Iwa but oh well. And thank you SO MUCH for requesting them I love them so much!! (There’s a part two now, you can find it right here!

Poly Seijoh Third Years

Word Count: 3000 words (...yeah)

Warnings: some timeskip spoilers, proceed with caution if you don’t know their timeskip occupations

You’ve all been very good friends since first year, and are practically inseparable

Since you’re all a pretty popular friend group, there are a lot of people who have crushes on you guys and end up confessing

But none of you ever end up accepting any confessions, which leads to some rumors about how you’re all hooking up or how some of you are dating

And I mean the rumors are at least a little bit based in reality; I mean no one can miss how Makki and Mattsun walk around with their pinkies practically interlaced, or how Iwaizumi always buys you and Oikawa lunch and snacks, or how Oikawa stares at Makki in class when he thinks no one is looking, or how Mattsun teases you in the hallways, or how you all borderline cuddle in public whenever one of you have a bad day

You’re all hanging on a precipice between friendship and dating, and everyone’s too terrified of making a move and risking “the end of your friendship” (even though I don’t think any of them would actually end a friendship over a crush)

One night after their practice, you’re all hanging out at Oikawa’s house

The fast food you got earlier is strewn all over the coffee table, and everyone’s draped all over the living room furniture while you watch (heckle) shitty horror movies

Oikawa is sitting in Mattsun’s lap, Makki’s head is on your thighs, Iwaizumi has his arm flung over your and Mattsun’s shoulders

It’s somehow both incredibly calm and comforting, as well as tense

Out of basically nowhere, Mattsun picks up the remote and pauses the movie

“Hey, is everything ok?” Iwaizumi asks, clearly very concerned.

Mattsun just sucks in a deep breath

“Hey, I really like you guys” he finally says

“Uh yeah I sure hope so? We’re best friends it would kind of suck if you couldn’t stand us” Makki laughs nervously

“Not like that dumbass. I mean I like you like I want to be able to hold hands with you guys and kiss you and go on dates that we actually call dates instead of just ‘hang outs’ you know?”

Everyone breathes out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding

“Oh thank god, I was so worried I was reading all the signs wrong” Oikawa says

You just kind of sit in silence for a little longer, it’s a lot to process! You just found out that your friends all want to date you, and you want to date them too!

“So...does this mean we’re all...dating now??”

Everyone just kind of nods in agreement and in an incredibly anticlimactic fashion, you all just go back to watching the movie

So now you’re all officially dating!

Literally no one at school is surprised

Going from a platonic friend group to a romantic polyamorous relationship is incredibly smooth

It’s basically the same as it was before, but now you hold hands walking around school, and you kiss each other goodbye, and you finally get to tell each other how you feel about them whenever you want, and Oikawa stares at Makki in class without caring about who’s watching (once they got detention because they were literally blowing each other kisses in the middle of Calculus. You and Mattsun found it absolutely hilarious. Iwaizumi was not amused.)

You also all had a pretty long talk at the very beginning about boundaries (communication is super important especially if your relationship has more than two people!!)

Everyone is on a different level of comfort when it comes to PDA, but they’re all ok with at least some of it

Oikawa is the most comfortable and oh my god he is so clingy

He will literally drape himself on top of you in public if he feels like he’s not getting enough attention

Hanamaki is in second, he has no shame and he really likes physical affection (I think one of his main love languages is physical touch) and he’s also really flirty (but more in goofy way)

He tends to stick to holding hands and cheek/forehead kisses, but he will occasionally pick you up and kiss you all over your face while calling you his “personal ray of sunshine” to make you giggly and embarrassed

Matsukawa is in third, he is also pretty shameless but he does prefer being affectionate at home and in private

He does almost always have his arm around someone’s shoulder or waist, and sometimes he’ll just hug you from behind and rest his head on your shoulder while you’re in the middle of a conversation

Iwaizumi is the least comfortable with it, but he still likes it!! He’s just worried that he’ll end up making the people around you uncomfortable if you’re all too affectionate

He likes it when you lay your head on his shoulder whenever you’re both sitting down

Also, because there’s so much communication and because you’ve all been close to each other, there’s almost never any jealousy or fighting

Even when there are arguments and fights, it’s almost always resolved by the end of the day, and there are no hard feelings after the fact

You all go on dates every weekend! Oikawa likes going on super fancy and romantic dinner dates, Hanamaki likes amusement park dates, Matsukawa loves arcade dates (once you all had a laser tag date and it was incredibly fun but also so competitive that you almost got kicked out) and Iwaizumi actually really loves museum and aquarium dates

Whenever you guys don’t really feel like going out for a date you just watch movies together at home while cuddling

Once Iwaizumi tricked Mattsun and Oikawa into studying by promising a “study date” which actually just ended up being Iwa yelling at both of them to focus

Also sometimes some of you will go on dates with only two or three of you (you all have a groupchat, and everytime there’s a date like that everyone on the date spams the groupchat with cute date pictures)

Pet names! There are so many pet names!

They use such a wide variety of pet names on you and each other, Iwa usually sticks to the classic ones like baby, Makki calls you sweetheart (both in a genuine way and to be a little shit), Mattsun calls you gorgeous/handsome, and Oikawa has SO MANY names for you (sunshine, prince/princess, angel, my love, etc.)

Once Mattsun called Oikawa his “handsome prince” as a joke and Oikawa blushed SO hard (he never lived that one down)

Whenever you all have sleepovers it is so soft and wholesome oh my god

They’re all so so cuddly

Oikawa is definitely a little spoon BFDBGBSG he just really likes being held! He genuinely loves how safe and warm and at home he feels in your arms

Hanamaki likes sleeping on his stomach with his head on your chest so he can hear your heartbeat

Matsukawa is a little bit of a starfish, so he’s always just super spread out. He usually ends up just kind of draping his limbs on top of everyone else

Iwaizumi sleeps like a koala! He will fully wrap his whole body around one person, and it’s somehow both incredibly comforting and a little bit suffocating

It doesn’t really matter how you guys are positioned when you fall asleep, when you wake up in the morning you’re all just a huge tangle of limbs

Getting up is a challenge because in addition to being stuck in the middle of a bunch of ridiculously tall dudes, you have to deal with Iwa holding you hostage and Oikawa whining about how he just wants to stay in bed all day

Makki is absolutely the type of person who would fart and trap you under the covers while cackling maniacally

Mattsun has the WORST morning breath but he also loves sleepy morning kisses

When Oikawa wakes up before you, he likes to turn around in your arms and play with your hair and watch your face, he just thinks you look so peaceful and happy in your sleep!

Lazy mornings with them are the absolute BEST you can not convince me otherwise

Even after you’re all awake, you all just stay in bed cuddling until someone has to get up to pee or you’re just too hungry

Mattsun is such a good cook! He makes everyone a really nice breakfast!

Oikawa helps him out by decorating all the food, he definitely knows how to cut fruits into like flower shapes and all that fancy shit

Once graduation rolls around, you’re really worried that you’ll all grow apart and break up once you’re all in college and actually working

But they’re all quick to reassure you that they all love you so much and they’re all willing to try and make the relationship work

You all go to college pretty close to each other, so instead of moving into a dorm, you just get an apartment together

Some of your parents are worried that you’re all moving too fast, and that you’ve only been together for just over a year, but you’ve all been this close for such a long time that moving in together just feels natural

Speaking of parents, not all of your parents were really 100% accepting of this relationship

But over time, everyone can see how happy you make each other, and eventually accept it

So anyway, now you’re all officially living together!

It doesn’t really change your relationship much, besides doing chores and getting ready in the morning together

Everyone divides up chores pretty evenly between the five of you

Matsukawa still cooks for everyone, and sometimes if he’s feeling really sweet he’ll pack lunches for everyone

Oikawa usually requests being on laundry duty, something about it is super comforting and relaxing for him

Getting ready in the morning is...interesting to say the least

Iwaizumi wakes up at the asscrack of dawn to go for a run, and usually drags Oikawa out of bed to go with him

Mattsun gets up around half an hour later to make breakfast

Makki stays in bed as long as possible, usually until Mattsun announces that breakfast is ready

Oikawa and Iwa get home sometime while Matsukawa is in the middle of cooking, and take a quick shower (once they did not shower before breakfast and the rest of you complained about how much they stank the whole time BFGFBFDBGH)

You all sit down to breakfast and talk and laugh and joke around until someone points out that you’ve all gotta leave in twenty minutes

After that it’s a mad rush to get dressed, brush your hair and teeth, and do the whole rest of your morning routines

On weekends or any days where you’re all free, it’s a lot more relaxed, Iwa and Oikawa stay in bed with the rest of you until past 10 a.m

Also speaking of showers! They all really like taking showers with you (NOT in a sexual way, it’s just really cute and domestic) as long as you’re comfortable with it!

When Oikawa tells you all that he’s moving away to pursuit volleyball, he is in tears, and he’s terrified that your relationship won’t work out while he’s so far away

But you reassure him that you’ll all still love him no matter how far away he is

Long distance actually works out really well for you all

You keep the group chat going strong in his absence, you all send him pictures of your lives and he sends some back!

You also videocall him almost every single day

It feels almost as if he’s never left, since he’s still so involved in your life

He visits whenever he can, which is not as often as you’d like, but you all make the most of it

The years pass, you’re all still together, Iwa’s still lecturing Oikawa for staying up too late, Mattsun’s still making shitty puns constantly, Makki’s still posting the goofiest candid photos if everyone else, and you all love each other so much

Iwaizumi is such a stable and comforting presence, always checking to make sure that you’re feeling alright, holding you whenever you cry

He is pretty busy helping out the Japan team though, and Matsukawa also has work, so if you’re ever at home during the day you’re probably hanging out with Makki

Mattsun and Makki are constantly teasing each other about their respective professions (or lack thereof)

“Oi Mattsun, what’s it like spending your whole work day with dead people?”

“Oi Makki, what’s it like spending your whole work day-oh wait.”

When the Olympics roll around, you, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki go to support Oikawa (and Iwaizumi)

He looks a little bit nervous before the game, but the second his eyes fall on the three of you sitting right at the edge of the court, he visibly relaxes

The whole game, everyone around you is staring at you because of how loud you’re cheering, but you’re just so proud of them!

You take a moment to think about how much those four have changed since you met them as first years so long ago. If someone told you at that point that you would end up in a strong romantic relationship with them, you wouldn’t have believed it, but now looking at the guys you love, it feels like the most natural thing in the world

You can’t believe how far you’ve all come, and how happy you all are

When Oikawa finally sets up for the winning point, you all scream and run outside to meet up with him and Iwa

You run into Iwaizumi first, who tells you about how Oikawa’s swamped with fans

When you finally find him in the middle of a crowd, he makes eye contact with you and smiles, pushing through the crowd and coming straight for your little group

He pulls all four of you into a big group hug, everyone’s laughing and crying and taking pictures and screaming as you all just hold onto each other

Oikawa breaks the hug first, and takes a few steps back, before getting down on one knee

[oswald-privileges]

ALL RIGHT BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

Power of Three as a series is just. full of weaknesses, most of which come down to poor continuity and structure. I'm not gonna try and fix ALL of those, bc that'd be laborious as hell, but I will pick out things that I feel are the most egregious as case studies.

What Po3 does have, tho, is an absolutely shining strength in the concept of its three main characters. After twelve books of Blandly Heroic Protagonist Syndrome, Jayfeather is an absolute godsend. He's angry! He's rude! He's unhappy! He's not nice. I Love Him And He's My Son. Lionblaze has his invincible pride (hah) and emergent bloodlust, and Hollyleaf has her moral absolutism and certainty. These are good starting points for characters. Sadly, the lack of continuity undermines what could have been three really good character arcs.

So! I present to you:

HOW TO MAKE "WARRIORS: THE POWER OF THREE" NOT COMPLETELY SUCK ACCORDING TO MY PERSONAL TASTE; A NON-EXHAUSTIVE, NON-CONSECUTIVE LIST BY ME

ONE

- Have there be a persistant, overarching series threat. Sol is a character with amazing villain potential who does literally nothing except hang around, and do exactly 2 Bad Things completely off-screen. This Is Not Good.

- Instead, have him be present from the second book onwards- initially introduced as a friendly but enigmatic outsider who is slowly revealed across the series to be a complete black hole of a personality, a social parasite quietly rearranging whatever community he's a part of to just-so-happen to benefit him as much as humanly possible. His "preach individualism not starclan" methods are not so much values as one strategy out of many. (to those who know me- yes i have a type. no i will not apologise.)

- Maybe his ultimate goal is to dissolve and centralise the clans or something so that he can live out his life as a political puppetmaster in all the cat-luxury he likes. idk it's hard to imagine overall stakes for this rewrite BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL DOESN'T HAVE ANY

TWO

- For gods sake you don't have a series based on the premise of "the main characters develop super powers" and then only have the second power confirmed by the end of the fourth book. I understand the first book mostly focusing on Jayfeather- his powers are obvious from the start, he's got the strongest personality of the three, he gets access to most of the prophecy plot stuff because of them. But you NEED to have the other two show an interest in something concrete happening to them beyond that, and you need to at least hint towards the other two having something unique to them even if nobody clocks it yet.

- Have Jayfeather tell his siblings about the prophecy by the end of book two at the latest. The amount of time he spends noodling around not sharing it with them is inexcusable. It's not that it's out of character for him to hang onto a secret for a bit, it's just that there's no point and it slows everything down. It would be equally in character for him to go to his siblings and be like "look, i'm SPECIAL. well you as well but ALSO ME". Boy starts off as desperate for recognition, what can I say

THREE

- Have Jayfeather discover that StarClan don't withhold signs or information on purpose for the sake of "building courage and faith" or whatever nonsense. Seeing and communicating the future is metaphysically very difficult, so interpreting signs and messages is a genuine skill, or even an art. The cats of StarClan, however, really are just ghosts, much more similar to living cats than the currently living believe. This is the impotus for Jayfeather's discarding of his reverence for StarClan, which remains consistent throughout the series.

- Have Hollyleaf and Jayfeather both still change their cat careers in the first book, but put place more attention on the fact that they basically switched jobs. Have a scene where they end up yelling at each other, because can't the other see how lucky they have it? The tension breaks when they realise they've both lost something important to them- Jayfeather his chance to prove he's as capable as a sighted cat, and Hollyleaf her path to helping her clan in the way she thinks is best. They commiserate together, and reluctantly promise to do the best they can with their lots, so they don't waste the path the other wishes they'd taken. This closeness is eroded over the series as they disagree more and more on the subject of StarClan and its role in their moral choices and obligations.

FOUR

- Speaking of Hollyleaf! I nearly threw my phone across the room when the first Omen of the Stars book claimed that Hollyleaf "worked so hard to discover her power to help her clan". Where, Ms Erins??? I would have LOVED to have seen that!! Hollyleaf expresses absolutely no concern over the details of what power she has/will develop, and only has a couple of scenes even touching on her ambitions to help her clan. She has some vague ideas about becoming leader and like one scene where she gets to do some leadery things, but that never gets followed up on. What does happen is that the whole "warrior code" thing becomes more and more a part of her personality (for no clear reason) until she snaps.

- Hollyleaf going off the deep end is something I wanted so badly to get into and be moved by, because I could see where it comes from! Her moral certainty is fascinating, especially since it's based in something as abstract as the warrior code- which, when you think about it, isn't really... anything. There's no concrete set of rules that make it up, no traditional wording or cat philosophers, not even any fables. It's a handful of agreed-upon, common sense rules- don't cross boundaries, don't take prey that isn't yours, respect your ancestors, and don't murder. That's it!

- So, combining the above points, I think Hollyleaf not being one of the Three should stay, but both the audience and the characters are given good reason to believe she is. By around the third volume, make it so that Hollyleaf has found that her power is to get cats to "Do The Right Thing"- i.e. what she wants them to do. She sneaks off often to see Sol, who teachs her how to use this power. Her siblings are concerned about this new power, having already gotten a glimpse at what Sol can do, but she's confident that she can only use this power for good. Volume-specific plot happens, Sol manipulates her into causing him to win, she is shocked and horrified, and vows to stick ridgedly to what she knows is right i.e. The Warrior Code

- However, the more fervently she tries to stick to this abstract idea, the less it gives her results, the more her power seems to be failing. Believing that StarClan is taking her power away from her, she becomes caught up in a faith-guilt spiral that puts her in the position to snap at the end of the series. By that point it's clear to her siblings that Hollyleaf has no power- she was just very, very good at persuading people to do what she wanted.

FIVE

- Lionblaze is a girl now because I Said So. This Cat Is Trans And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

- Her relationship with Heathertail stays the same- childhood sweethearts who are torn apart as they begin to understand the nature of the societal divides that exist between them.

- This can be used to contextualise the whole "half clan/outsider blood" thing as a cultural contradiction. In reality, inter- and outer- clan relationships aren't at all rare. They can't be, otherwise the whole society would be inbred out of existence in like five generations. But if at least one society of humans can spend a good 200 years pretending Sex Is Bad And Sinful Actually then cats can have persistant cat-racism in the face of all logic. Heathertail clocks this contradiction, Lionblaze doesn't.

- Her relationship-to-power arc doesn't need changing all that much either, other than starting much sooner and being more consistent. At first, she's completely overjoyed by her power, since unlike her siblings, it lines up so well with her ambition- become the finest warrior any of the clans have to offer. As the berserker rage aspect becomes more prevelent, she becomes more and more disturbed by the fact that she isn't disturbed by what she can do, and that she doesn't want the escalation of her power to stop.

- Tigerstar still does his thing, but Brambleclaw knows about it. He recognises the signs from when his father used to visit him, and tries to train Lionblaze in his own way. She ends up caught between wanting to be a good warrior, and testing the limits of her power.

SIX

- Jayfeather can stay basically the same because he's my perfect little angy boy and nothing needs to change. His arcs can be strengthened by having a more robust relationship with Yellowfang where they try to out-bitch each other, and coming to terms with his internalised ablism. Maybe he has a chat with Mothwing about faith a couple of times. Him furiously lashing out at being offered help transitions into an acceptence and understanding of his abilities more naturally. He never stops being A Grumpy Old Man.

- All fucking past-lives unexplained time travel goes in the BIN. Doesn't fucking happen. You can have that lore dump sprinkled across the books, or come from going deep into the tunnels and having a surreal meeting. Make it properly eldritch-level scary, shake Jayfeather's confidence in the idea of them being just a bunch of ghosts.

SEVEN

- Have the way Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight present very clearly as parents to the Three be explicitly, textually unusual. One of the things I liked so much about the first series was an almost total lack of emphasis on who was mated with who, and who was related or not. It felt very real to how feral cat colonies form, where raising kittens is a communal job. This gets completely dropped the moment series 2 starts and now the cats have monogamy.

- This emphasis on the family unit and fostering close relationships between parents and kittens is deliberate on the part of both Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Their aim is to cover for Leafpool so she doesn't lose her role as medicine cat- something she already gave up Crowfeather for before she was pregnant.

- In that little bit of backstory, have a robust reason for both Leafpool and Squirrelflight to leave the camp while Leafpool is pregnant and giving birth, possibly one that ties into the present day story in some minor way. I don't know how, it would just make that element of the story a lot more ground than "we left, the kits were born, then we came back and everyone was cool with it"

- When it comes to the "I am Not your mother" reveal, Jayfeather and Lionblaze are confused and hurt that they were lied to, but come to the reasonable conclusion that well, since they were raised mostly by Squirrelflight, saw Leafpool often, and are loved by both, they don't hate her. Lionblaze has something of a crisis over being half-clan, possibly initiating an attempted reunion with Heathertail. Jayfeather is more concerned with how other cats will think it makes him lesser, something he's still sensitive too.

- Hollyleaf, meanwhile, completely fucking snaps at the way her mother Violated Part Of The Code. It's a completely irrational reaction, but expected because she's been growing more and more reliant on The Code for the whole series, and less and less stable in her attempts to aid her clan and train to be its new leader.

- Squirrelflight is the one to murder Ashfur. This is easy to work out while reading- she's literally the only one of the four with a motive who isn't a perspective character. The mystery is less around finding out who did it, and more about why she did it (it's very ambiguous as to whether it was an accident or not). The main tension comes from who finds out when.

- Lionblaze is shocked, awed by how far she'd go to protect the three of them, and reassures her she did the right thing (as a way to salve her own uncertainty over her own longing for violence). Jayfeather makes it all about himself because he's Jayfeather- upset that he didn't know immediately, instead of, you know, figuring it out in a few hours because he can basically read minds. They try their best to hide it from Hollyleaf, who is already rattling around the final volume as a full-on antagonist, but are unsuccessful. This almost costs them something incredibly important- possibly Squirrelflight's life.

EIGHT

- the whole plot with the Tribe Of Rushing Water is a MASSIVE can of worms that could be removed from the series without issue. As it is:

- Characterize the Tribe as uncertain of how to fight other cats, because yes, they haven't had to do this before. DON'T characterise them as pathetic, doing whatever their leader says without thinking, and with ancestors who have Given Up

- Have some of the Tribe be really good at the violence. Worryingly good. Have others be sickened by what they're being asked to do.

- Have some of the clan cats reflect on what they've done. Hollyleaf would be all for introducing this society to jesus The Code, but even she might be horrified at being thanked by a tribe cat who can't wait to get out there and win themselves glory, only to be killed a few hours later

- The Tribe begin a new tradition of marking the walls in the mud they use as camoflage in order to commemorate their battles, and memorialise the fallen. One of the characters reflects on the fact that in a generation or two, the Tribe will feel like it's always been this way. How many of their own traditions- those that feel almost like natural law- started out the same way?

- Have Sol as the leader of the invaders, or maybe having insinuated himself into the tribe as a "mediator" and doing his charismatic cult leader thing.

NINE

- Cinderheart isn't a reincarnation of Cinderpelt. She's just named after her bc Cinderpelt saved her mother from a badger. this is because I think the reincanation thing is stupid and I can't think of a way to make it good.

TEN

- No more using tails as hand gestures like covering people's mouths. Never. None of it. It's expunged from existence.

Disclaimer: I haven't read Omen of the Stars yet, so I can't account for anything that might happen in that series that's grounded in Po3. I'm like... two thirds of the way through the first volume. I'm Not Impressed.

[sedge-yells-at-comics]

Reprinted below, in case the link implodes.

Flash #27 Reveals Why Reverse Flash Is a Truly Unique Villain                

The finale of "Running Scared" provides a gut-wrenching Rebirth update to one of DC's most complicated villains: Eobard Thawne, the Reverse Flash.

By Meg Downey Published Jul 27, 2017               

If you’re a fan of the Flash, you’re probably pretty familiar with the concept of the Reverse Flash, a man named Eobard Thawne who, like Barry, has super speed and wears a flashy costume. Of course, the “Reverse” might sound like he’s the literal opposite of the Flash -- maybe someone who slows things down instead of speeding himself up? Or maybe someone who runs backwards?

There are a lot of obvious and incorrect guesses pretty readily available for casual or newer fans to throw darts at. The reality of the Reverse Flash is, however, pretty complicated. Mostly because his “reverse” status is actually ideological at its core. Flash media, be it print, animated or live action, has traditionally made this apparent by painting Eobard as someone who is essentially pure evil -- a sort of manic, time traveling serial killer who is motivated solely by his endless need to destroy Barry Allen from the ground up.

At that point, the problem then becomes finding a way to make Thawne’s homicidal drive, well… unique in the scope of the DC Universe, a place that just so happens to be populated by enough over-the-top villains to populate a decent sized Midwestern town. Why is Reverse Flash someone that’s specific to The Flash? What differentiates him from any of DC’s other iconic arch rivals, like Lex Luthor or The Joker?

Well, The Flash #27 has the answer, and it's probably not the one you expected.

Running Scared

The rebirth of the “classic” Eobard Thawne (as opposed to his New 52 revamp) began in the Flash/Batman crossover mini-event “The Button” back in April, a four-part storyline which connected the original Thawne to the events of last year’s DC Universe: Rebirth one-shot.

Since, then, Thawne’s taken up residence as a perpetual thorn in Barry’s side in the hero's own ongoing series, stepping directly into the spotlight for the three-part “Running Scared” arc which served to highlight Thawne’s Rebirth status quo. For the most part, it’s a story that fans will be pretty familiar with, borrowing heavily from elements of stories like The Flash: Rebirth and Flashpoint. Thawne’s from the future, he time traveled to kill Barry’s parents, he’s connected to a negative form of the Speed-Force, and so on -- But that’s where things start to get their Rebirth-specific legs.

It’s not that creators Josh Williamson, Howard Porter and Paul Pelletier are trying to reinvent the proverbial wheel with “Running Scared” -- just unlock a different side of it by shining a light on one of the most unique aspect of Eobard and Barry’s relationship.

Reverse Flash doesn’t hate Flash the way Lex Luthor hates Superman, or Bane hates Batman. It’s actually (appropriately) quite the opposite. It’s the reverse. Eobard Thawne loves Barry Allen, obsessively and vengefully, which is where his endless, destructive need to ruin Barry’s life comes into play.

“Running Scared” highlights the fact that a young Eobard grew up alone (though Williamson was quick to confirm that that particular story element came out of an earlier Geoff Johns Flash issue) with only his idealized and imaginary version of Barry -- a character from his history books -- to keep him company. Barry was, for all intents and purposes, Thawne’s only friend, confidant, and emotional anchor, despite the fact that the two of them wouldn’t actually meet for years and years.

It was plenty of time for a very troubled and very lonely Thawne to fall in love with a version of The Scarlet Speedster that existed only in his imagination...and, well, it’s pretty obvious how that particular emotional endeavor actually went down. Actually meeting Barry and subsequently being forced to deal with the fact that he was just a guy and not the cartoon character Thawne had built in his head for years, proved to be too hard a stress test for Thawne’s fragile psyche.

Fatal Attraction

Meeting and being disappointed by a personal hero is a rough experience for just about anyone, but rather than allowing himself to move on -- or even allowing himself to simply decide to hate Barry instead, Thawne’s obsession only doubled down.

As issue #27 hurtles to its conclusion, Thawne’s real motivations become abundantly apparent. As Barry, infected with Thawne’s own inverted Negative Speed Force thrashes Thawne within an inch of his life, he presses him with a question - Why, if Thawne has always been so inspired by him, has he gone out of his way to ruin Barry’s life at every turn? Why has he done all of these terrible things, from killing Barry’s parents to beating Wally within an inch of his life, to kidnapping he and Iris and hauling them to the future?

Thawne’s answer is as unexpected as it is heartrendingly honest: because these horrible things are the only way Thawne understands how to make Barry spend time with him.

It’s that simple.

Thawne’s love for, and obsession with Barry Allen has permeated his life so deeply and completely that he is even willing to count his time spent being pummeled half to death by Flash as a win. He’s completely unable or unwilling to differentiate between Barry’s affection and Barry’s hatred, and he’s ready to do whatever it might take to put himself at the center of either emotion in Barry’s mind.

“A few years ago, it would have really hurt my feelings to hear you say that,” Thawne taunts after Barry threatens him, “but now to think that I caused you that anger? That I could get under your skin like this? It warms my heart.”

It’s deeply troubling, of course, and horrifyingly uncomfortable to get a look into the head of a villain who is, essentially, the personification of a fan gone terribly, terribly awry -- a theme that only gets more difficult to swallow when you begin to think about the increasingly complicated relationship between fans and their idols in actual, genuine, non-super heroic world around us.

This subtle reworking of the Reverse Flash has made him one of comic’s most poignant ruminations of the idea of toxicity in fan communities, idolization of strangers, and self destructive obsession, and it did so in a way that boldly allowed Thawne to win at the end of the day.

The issue closes, and the arc completes, with Barry exactly in the position Thawne wanted him in: completely alone, just like Thawne was as he built Barry into a hero of mythological perfection in his head. Now, where Barry will end up, and whether he’ll be forgiven by Iris, Wally and the roster of people he’s been manipulating as he leads his vigilante double life, is still largely a mystery.

It’s clear that Thawne didn’t expect, or even really want, Barry to come running into his arms to start their life together the second he succeeded in isolating him -- he makes that abundantly clear as he warns that he’ll just return again and again and again, de-powered, killed or otherwise hindered. Iris may have added an exclamation point to the end of the story arc by “vaporizing” Thawne with a Black Hole gun, but it hardly matters.

Reverse Flash will be back, somehow, at some point, and it’s doubtful that his love and obsession for Barry will have wavered in the slightest. We know now that’s just now how his mind is capable of working. It’s unlikely that Thawne will ever feel anything for Barry beyond his own supremely twisted adoration, no matter how many times the Flash pummels him into the ground. It’s just not the way Thawne’s brain is able to process information anymore.

It’s complicated, messy, and uncomfortable, but it’s also one of the clearest articulations of exactly what makes Reverse Flash such an interesting villain in the scope of not just the Flash family of books, but the DCU as a whole.

[petruchio]

long story short, I kind of don't think licorice pizza was that intelligent. Any intelligent connection I've made from it I feel like has been tenuous and a reach and I also feel like any points it was trying to make (if any) didn't land and were vacuous and self indulgent. like you, I don't know much about PTA but I also feel like if a piece of work is genuinely intelligent and profound, it'll stand alone and you won't have to know much about the maker and/or their entire body of work for it to make an impact and have it's integrity come through. I also found pretty much every scene inconsequential, so some of the bigger "inconsequential" scenes like the one with Bradley Cooper just didn't feel that enjoyable because the plot just wasn't moving or going anywhere. I ultimately felt like I got most of the film from watching the trailer lol. Beautifully shot and acted though! (I'm not gonna get into thoughts about the age difference thing rn cos that would be too long lol)

yes!! honestly i agree -- i think that's my ultimate take, which is that if the movie was going for a really subtle critique, it might have been too subtle on that critique. and i know there's a ton of film bros or whatever who will be like "ugh you guys just DON'T GET IT" but i feel like at a certain point if only really weird film bros get what your movie is about... then maybe the movie is being too subtle.

i think for me, a reading of it as a critique of nostalgia is the only way for me to really make all of it hang together? like -- yeah the age gap was super weird. but i honestly have a hard time believing that any movie made in 2021 would really want to go all in on the take of like, "age gap relationships good" so i have to believe that there's something deeper going on there? and maybe the movie didn't communicate it that well, but i think that must be part of what it's going for.

like, the movie is obviously very nostalgic for the setting of los angeles in the 1970s -- and i think (??) the movie is asking you to consider, did you get so swept up in nostalgia that you forgot how bad things really were? were you so distracted by the aesthetic, the clothes, the music, that you forgot how messed up all this stuff really was? the casual racism? the public homophobia? the abuse of minors? what happened in YOUR 1970s that was really, truly wrong, but you excuse it because "that's just how things were back then"?

and i think (I THINK) the age gap is meant to kind of further that argument -- like, alana is clearly nostalgic for her OWN teenage-dom. that's why she's so obsessed with hanging out with these children, because she feels so alienated by the adult world, she instead wants to cling to childhood when things felt easy and simple. i mean, she's given an age-appropriate love interest (the guy she works with who isn't the politician, the guy in the office who she calls), and when they almost kiss, and she RUNS AWAY. like, that's the visual we get, she's literally running away from him, she's running away from the adult world, because it scares her. she wants to return to this state of innocence and youth, because to grow up means to face things that are hard and things you don't understand. it's only with the innocence of youth that you could start a waterbed business or your own pinball arcade. the adults in the film are too jaded, too wrapped up in themselves, too distracted to do that. so, the nostalgia isn't just a macro-scale, 1970s period piece. it's also about the nostalgia you feel for your own childhood.

and all the adult characters are also kind of trying to recapture the freedom of youth in their own way -- the sean penn character just uses alana as a stand-in for grace kelly, in his own nostalgic fantasy. bradley cooper smashes the window just after we see the actual children smashing his window, which just emphasizes his own immaturity and his refusal to just "grow up." even danielle and este are still living at home with their parents, despite the fact that we can assume they're in their 30s.

and that's like, a genius film -- one that says, you love this song, you love this dress, you're so distracted by how well i've recreated an image of your youth, that you forgot to feel grossed out by this. and if you DID feel grossed out, maybe you kind of felt like you didn't want that out of your 70s nostalgia film. so the feeling you get at the end, when they kiss and she says she loves him, that feeling of, "wait, but that was kind of fucked, though" is exactly the feeling that you SHOULD have, because it's the same one you should have when you think about your own past. it's saying, take OFF those rose colored glasses and look the past in the eye, look at what happened to you back then and be brave enough to say "wait, no, that was wrong and it shouldn't have happened."

but all that being said, i kind of agree that i'm not entirely sure the movie was actually being that smart? or, maybe it was, but i don't think it necessarily communicated that in a clear enough way? personally, the whole way through, i thought it was going to be kind of a coming of age film for alana -- that she was going to realize that she was afraid of growing up, but that she was going to have to. and then the end just threw me for a LOOP! like i feel like i should've been more on board with a nostalgia reading from the whole film, and the ending should've been like OH -- so what you're saying is that this is wrong. like, i don't think the movie is endorsing the relationship, but the way it's shot and scored and edited doesn't really feel sinister enough to be confident in that! and i agree as well that i don't think you should have to know an artists entire body of work to make a judgement on one piece -- the piece should stand alone as it is.

so yeah. i guess it's either a genius commentary on the past, or it's a weird nostalgia wish-fulfillment for paul thomas anderson -- or maybe it's kind of both? maybe his own wish-fulfillment is the reason the critique didn't come across quite clearly enough? i don't know!! but it sure did make me think.

[thefledglingdm]

Umm can I request directors commentary for literally any Leopika fic you’ve written??? Love your stuff!

❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

ahhahaha thank you so much! yes, absolutely! this is going to be long, because i have decided to do that scene in light of my life, pain of my ass. beware LONG BULLSHIT and spoilers below the cut!

ok to set the scene. i was TERRIFIED to write this part. because this is the climax, you know? we've had 150k words of build-up and emotional tension to this scene. while this has been a romantic story, this is the actual climax of the story. we've spent all this time in kurapika's head as he's dealt with his anxiety, his need for control, his fear of letting go. how he's changed as he's opened up his heart and his life to people outside. and finally he's actually working through all of his emotions and the progress he's made out loud, in front of everyone. and because he forgot about giving his speech until like five minutes before (sorry, kp), he is forced to speak from the heart.

For five agonizing seconds, Kurapika stood alone in the middle of a silent room. Above him, the string lights coalesced into a single shared point of soft white light that illuminated his space.

i so wish this could be adapted to, like, netflix or made into a movie. i put so much into this imagery. the play on light? the cinnamon topography? *chef's kiss* yes please netflix CALL ME.

Everyone in his life was staring at him expectantly, Pairo and Altair and Gon and Killua and Nanika and Alluka and Kalluto and his parents. And approximately a hundred other people on top of that, extended family on both sides, industry insiders, coworkers. All staring at him and waiting for him to say something amazing and powerful and deep about love and what did Kurapika know about love, anyway? He was a thirty-two year old trans man so terrified of his own emotions, so paralyzed by his fear of loss, that he did not figure out he was in love with his best friend until three weeks ago.

this is me screwing the knife in deeper for poor kurapika, sorry. this is so incredibly horrifying for a person with anxiety, as someone with anxiety. behold, the terrifying ordeal of being known.

Five seconds. Kurapika finally found Leorio standing near the back, leaning against the bar. He wondered if Leorio picked the same spot where they sat together the very first time they came here on purpose. Leorio sent him a wink and a thumbs-up.

the terrifying ordeal of being known and being so, so loved anyway. it was great to write in a way that showed leorio realized he was in love with kurapika first (indeed, realized that kurapika was in love with him before kurapika knew himself), because these little interactions shows so much how leorio is inviting and allowing kurapika to come to him on his own time. and supporting him the whole way, because they are friends!!!!

Breathe, Kurapika thought. Just breathe. It’s going to be okay.

this statement was not supposed to be a running theme/motif, but i'm super glad it did! i wrote it as a one-off line for melody, but then i was like, hang on, that's kinda good? every other time i write i'm like, hey, you could make a theme out of this!

“Um,” Kurapika started, his voice cracking. Christ, he sounded seventeen again. He cleared his throat.

my friends told me about how their voices changed and dropped on T. any trans person is stronger and more powerful than any us marine.

“For those of you who may not know, I’m Pairo’s brother. Kurapika. His older one, just to be clear.”

this is definitely something that has happened like a hundred times.

There was a smattering of chuckles around the room. He twisted to look at Pairo. “I’ve known Pairo since he was a toddler dragging a ragged, threadbare T-Rex plushie around behind him. I was there when he read his first chapter book on his own – Dino Hunter, of course – because he came bursting into my room at two o’clock in the morning to tell me about it.” Another round of laughter. “I was there when he got his first notebook, when he won his first writing contest, when he was published in his first magazine. I was the first person he told about liking boys instead of girls. I’ve watched him grow and learn and fall in love. And now Altair is part of our family, too.”

pairo and kurapika's lives as brothers were amazing. dino hunter is a reference to the book they both read in the manga that led to kurapika wanting to leave the kurta and explore the world.

i also thought that writing fit pairo well because it's a pretty accessible career for his eyes. he could type, he could enhance the screen and font when he needed, and he could do talk-to-type. one day i want to write a side-story of when pairo and altair met, because i have it perfectly formulated in my head and it's adorable.

Kurapika took a deep breath, tucking a lock of hair behind his ear. He confessed, “To be perfectly honest, I was scared when Pairo asked me to do this, because I’ve run out of things to teach him. He’s run on ahead of me in life. Settled down, moved in with his boyfriend – now husband, congratulations on that by the way – and gotten married, while I’m perpetually single and living alone in my loft apartment with an absolutely spoiled monster of a cat. Stop laughing, that wasn’t supposed to be a joke.”

emperor the cat was also not intended to be a character. i came up with him like, right before i started writing the chapter.

i think it was hard for kurapika to watch his brother fall in love and move on ahead in life. even if he was genuinely happy for them both. i had a conversation with a coworker a few months ago where we both talked about how we feel like we are "behind," even though we're both very accomplished. she felt like she was "behind" because i have a master's degree; i felt like i was "behind" because she was happily married and already had a child on the way (who is here and beautiful and perfect). and i imagine kurapika wondered if he was falling behind or missing something when he saw his brother succeed in love and business without really trying.

but there's no competition at all, of course. the world spins on, and we grow and change and find our place in our own time. there's no race.

The room quieted again. Kurapika went on, his eyes flicking over the crowd. He was starting to smile, too, now.

he's starting to realize this is okay, he's not going to mess up, he may actually have something worthwhile to say or share. he's getting more comfortable in all this.

“But I’m also a wedding planner – I know, ironic – and I’ve learned a lot about love from my clients. So if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to share some of those lessons now.”

No one from the back shouted at him to shut the fuck up, that he didn’t have a single clue what he was talking about, so he thought he was safe to carry on.

how funny would that have been??? like, it would have been fucked-up and humiliating, but in any other situation?? hilarious. just killua looking like that dude in mean girls being like HE DOESN'T EVEN GO HERE except it's like HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE IS.

He thought back to Light of My Life’s various couples, musing over their own rocky paths to the altar and the beautiful, fractured glimpses into their lives they gifted Kurapika and his team. What did they teach him? What did they teach his heart, that terrifying, terrified lump of meat frantically beating in his chest?

More than you think, his heart seemed to be telling him. Trust me; I will guide you through this. Trust me, trust me, trust me.

*"listen to your heart" plays in the background*

also like. trusting oneself and your perceptions and your feelings and your heart is so necessary. it's an important part of healing. and being honest with yourself and your feelings is part of a foundation for all healthy relationships, i think.

also i really like writing alliteratively. the play on words with "terrifying, terrified" was. inspired? terrifying, because kurapika for a long time feared his own heart and feelings, viewing them as a loss of control; and terrified, because his heart is afraid, too. and they are taking this leap together!

And Kurapika explained: “Love isn’t just found in eloquent professions or grand, romantic gestures. It’s supporting each other through your lowest, worst moments and coming out the other side stronger for it. It’s standing together, hand in hand, against the world. It’s in looking at someone simply existing in the world and seeing them as they are: good, beautiful, strong, intelligent, kind. It’s in your communication and your foundation and trusting that all good things will come together in time. It’s in the family that you build together. It’s in the work you each put in to get through the hard times. Together.”

me: yeah uh-huh jj you really did summarize the fic so far.

this is also where i started being sappy and thinking about love. friendly and romantic love. the love i've seen in my friends, the love i feel myself in my relationships.

There. That’s what his clients taught him. Menchi and Buhara; Morena and Theta; Pokkle and Ponzu; Knov and Morel; Knuckle and Shoot; Canary and Amane. But so many more people showed him what love was. He pictured Pairo and Altair on his couch, laughing at him and judging him and helping him put his own puzzle-piece heart together into something cohesive and beautiful. He smiled at his brothers and saw the way they were clutching each others hands, mouths beaming and eyes dewy.

they LOVE their brother so MUCH. their view of the outside looking in for the past year, watching kurapika fall in love, go soft, be happier than they've ever seen him.

He told them, “It’s in the way you can communicate in gestures and looks, and sometimes, without looking at all. It’s in banter and private jokes and finishing each other’s sentences. It’s in casual touches and... pouring their coffee before your own.”

my coffee is never as good as when my partner makes it. my honey-lemon tea is never as good as it is when my partner makes it. my jokes are never as funny as they are when my partner and i finish each other's sentences, build off of each other's quips. we can communicate across rooms with nothing but a look. these little signs of love are everywhere and expressed in so many tiny ways. these examples here are between people in romantic relationships, but these apply to platonic friendships as well.

His eyes swept the room and found Killua and Gon. Gon had his camera hefted onto one shoulder, and Killua stood behind him, arms around his waist and chin on his shoulder. “It’s on the first day you wake up and realize the way you look at the world has changed. The way you open your hands and your heart and give what you have, simply for the joy of being received.”

to love? transcendent. to be loved? incandescent. to love and know that it is valued and cherished and requited?

and this was a callback to killua talking about, of course, how he fell in love with gon like melting ice. like sinking into a bath. and this was also a quieter callback to how gon fell in love. because it wasn't just that he had/has so much love to give, but because for the first time in his life, he got to see it truly received. accepted.

Kurapika saw Killua’s breath catch and Gon’s hand flex over the fingers interlaced over his middle. Heedless of their surroundings and of the running camera, Gon twisted to kiss Killua on the mouth.

SMOOCHES ahahaha!

He turned his head back to Leorio. The man had not moved; indeed, he looked like he was nailed to the floor. His eyes were so intense as they watched him that Kurapika was almost surprised he had not yet burst into flame. Kurapika said, “It’s in the moment you see someone you’ve never met before, but you look at them and just know, to your core, that this is really going to be something.”

leorio realizing something is happening here. something huge is about to happen, is about to change. and he's trying so hard not to dare to hope it might be good. it might be everything.

A chorus of oohs went around the room. Even from this distance Kurapika saw the way Leorio’s face went red, and he ducked his chin, looking bashful and embarrassed.

leorio: holy shit holy shit holy SHIT IT'S HAPPENINGGGG

How was I such a fool before, Kurapika wondered, How was I so blind, so willfully ignorant and oblivious. How did it take me so long to realize you were talking about me. I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I’m sorry I made you wait for so long.

this is important because it's not just kurapika realizing and accepting his feelings for leorio. this is kurapika's version of realizing that leorio feels the same for him. leorio is in love with him, too. and he's wondering how it was possible he was so scared and blind for so long. he fears he may have hurt leorio by holding off on this for so long, so he wants to be brave, take the leap, and see what they could be.

Kurapika did not want this man to wait another second. He did not want Leorio to spend another moment trapped in this limbo. So he confessed in the middle of a silent room in front of over a hundred people, “It's the first time you hear them laugh, and your entire world’s axis shifts beneath your feet.”

i remember the first time i met my partner. i remember the first time i looked at them and felt my world shift a little to the right. i remember falling in love and thinking that this one was unlike all the others. it was warm, golden, comforting.

Kurapika watched the confused frown on Leorio’s face when he heard that, amused by the almost puppyish tilt to his head as he considered it. He knew the moment Leorio realized what he meant when his eyes blew wide, amazed and awed and achingly soft. His lips parted.

gOD he is so CUTE. he's like oh hmm huh what does that mean

and then he remembers

i promise, he's not a huge dickwad!

and leorio laughing at gon's accidental gaffe and his sweet earnestness. and kurapika walking in. leorio realizing kurapika wanted to know him before they ever even met.

Kurapika made himself turn away from the arresting sight. “One of my favorite venues lately was the Roseview Ballroom downtown. Among its many beautiful, gaudy attractions are its murals depicting scenes from Shakespeare’s plays all across the ceiling. One is a famous quote from Twelfth Night: ‘journeys end in lovers meeting, every wise man’s son doth know.’ But the more I think about it, the less I agree.”

i'm such a WHORE for shakespeare, as any readers of mine will know. check out my modern college adaptation of much ado about nothing.

He turned to meet Pairo’s eyes again, repeating, “‘Journeys end in lovers meeting.’ But nothing is ending here. It’s just changing.”

life does not end when we start relationships! or when they end! or when we move, change jobs, graduate, go to school, drop out of school. happy endings in stories still aren't endings. the greatest constant in life is change.

“Because what I’ve learned in this job, Pairo and Altair, what nugget of wisdom I have to give you, is this. Love is looking at a world that can be terrifying, cold, capricious, and indifferent, and finding the person whose hand you want to hold through it all anyway. Because you want every laugh, every tear, every wrinkle, every spark of joy. Love is life’s greatest leap of faith, because you don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But you know exactly who you want to spend all those tomorrows with.”

me finishing this: dammit i just wrote out my wedding vows.

Kurapika looked around the room again. At Gon and Killua; at Kalluto, Nanika, and Alluka; at his parents; at his brothers. At Leorio.

He concluded, “So you simply breathe. And you trust it will be okay.”

There wasn’t a dry eye in the room when Kurapika dropped the microphone.

DAMN ME TOO THIS SHIT WAS GOOD TF?????? sorry my writing has peaked here.

[extasiswings]

First off all, thank you so much for your post about Eddie and Shannon, i feel like some people in this fandom really need to take a long hard look at themselves and think about why they are so adamant to diminish Eddie’s feelings for his own damn wife.

Also, “Eddie struggles deeply with comphet and internalized notions about what it means to be a man, including heteronormative concepts of family” and “Eddie genuinely and truly loved and was sexually attracted to his wife of almost a decade” are statements that can and do co-exist “ - YES! This! I would even go as far as to argue that Eddie’s aforementioned struggles might have actually played a part in why his relationship with Shannon didn’t work out, ended as bitterly as it did- there’s Eddie’s “desire” to meet that heteronormative standard, to build their family up again, and then there’s the cold hard fact that their relationship never quite worked under such circumstances, that all the love they had for each other wasn’t enough to make it work. That Shannon doesn’t want to, or isn’t capable to make that effort needed to maintain that standard.

Idk, that might just be me, but i can’t help but wonder how this might have ended had they both tried to come at this a bit differently. Had they accepted that they can’t keep up that facade of a picture perfect family, but that there are other ways to live your life.

(Does that make any sense? It’s getting late over here, my brain is fried)

No EXACTLY. One of the things that is so interesting about the different layers to 2x17 is Eddie's conversation with Bobby and his acknowledgement that they were young and in love when they got married but that they weren't necessarily ready for marriage and got married because she got pregnant. And it's implied in S2, but made much more clear in Eddie Begins, that the actual getting married and starting a family piece of things really messed Eddie up in terms of his own internalized shit about masculinity and what it means to be a husband and a father. Basically, from a combination of what's explicit in canon and what can be gleaned from context clues, they were happy and in love, she got pregnant, they got married, and he immediately trapped himself in a teeny tiny box of rigid expectations and gender roles and enlisted (which, see also any of the MANY conversations I've had about the connection between that and his race/class/family background) and things went south for them from there.

Love ISN'T enough! We don't have exact ages for them when they got married, but Eddie does say they were "kids" so I usually default to him/them being around 20/21 and no matter how much you love each other, marriage is work! Parenting is work! And neither of them were able to communicate effectively about any of the challenges they were facing (probably because being as young as they were and this likely being one of if not the first serious relationship for either of them, they had never had to navigate super serious relationship conflicts with life-changing impacts)! Which means that I don't think either of them knew how to communicate effectively or truly understood what the other person needed or where they were coming from. Shannon criticized Eddie for making decisions about what he thought was best and not being there seemingly without trying to understand why he was stuck in that mindset; meanwhile, Eddie was so stuck that he couldn't accept/understand/see that what she needed wasn't for him to be the best provider in the world, but to just be there for her physically and emotionally/to simply be her partner. And all of that frustration and bitterness and hurt feelings and miscommunication just built up for years until he was finally home again and yeah, in the grip of a pretty serious mental health struggle, and I think she probably didn't even notice the difference between Eddie saying "I need time [to think about moving to a different state]" because he was in crisis and Eddie making other decisions earlier in their marriage without talking to her about them because he thought he was right.

[I mean, I still think it's pretty unforgivable to walk out on your marriage and your child and not even call for several years because of issues that, at least at the time, were, in my opinion, still very much fixable, so this should not be taken as a defense of that.]

But, yes, Eddie trying to put himself in a box and stick to very rigid ideas about who he is or should be as a man, as a husband, as a father, has never done anything but hurt him. Eddie Begins was a perfect encapsulation of his journey into true fatherhood: it was all about him learning to step out of the box, committing to being present, rejecting the examples of how to parent that he learned from his own. And now, he is an amazing father. Had Shannon not asked for a divorce and then died, it's entirely possible that through his process of forgiveness and recommitting himself to his marriage, he could have been a much better husband the second time around, but we'll never really know (although IMO she did not seem to be making the same kind of effort that she was demanding from him, so they were probably still doomed regardless). What we do know is that he absolutely IS capable of being an incredible partner...as long as he's not trying to force anything (because, again, he gets himself in trouble when he falls back into that zone of "rigid constructions of masculinity and heteronormativity", see how he is with Buck vs. Ana).

Anyway...something something heteronormativity is a prison, something something if you're stifling pieces of yourself you're never going to be truly free and happy and fully able to have the kinds of relationships you want to have, something something Eddie please go to therapy I'm begging.