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tilltheendwilliwrite · 8 years ago

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Balance on the Head of a Pin

Chapter Twenty Five

Previous Chapter

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x OFC | Word Count: 7825 Warnings: none

Lauren’s gaze remained on the empty place Loki had once occupied for a few long heartbeats before she finally managed to make her body work again. She shook. Not from fear, but from relief. Though she’d only learned of the bond growing between herself and Loki hours ago, the niggling concern she’d be unable to fulfill the final step when, really, she had no idea how she’d managed the first four, had left her doubting herself.

What if she messed up? What if she never figured out what the magical secret was? What if she failed and Loki never found peace?

She realized now what a stupid thought that had been. It hadn’t been something she had to do, but something she needed to accept. In that single moment of blinding clarity when he’d held her against him, and she’d let go, surrendered to him completely, it had been so clear. There was nowhere in the world she wanted to be more than with him, at his side, forever.

Everything she’d told Sadie, the incredible fairytale romance which she’d somehow become the leading lady in had led her to one realization. She could be happy, whatever came, whatever the future held, as long as she was with Loki. With that thought, she’d fully committed.

On shaky legs, she turned to face the mirror and lifted a trembling hand to her throat. The green stone was incredible. She’d never seen anything like it, not that that surprised her. It flickered with inner fire and was warm to the touch. Such a soothing warmth. It gave her the same feeling of comfort being in Loki’s arms did.

The serpents were beautiful. So realistic, they looked as if the could come alive and bite with those wickedly sharp fangs. Tiny black gems for eyes glittered, and though the torque was gold, it was a multitude of tones. Everything from the shiniest, brightest gold, gleaming like the sun, to the deepest of antique. There were even hints of green and rose glinting from the scales. It was the most exquisitely detailed piece of jewelry she had ever seen.

It was nearly impossible to drag her eyes from it, but she knew she had to. There was a party to oversee and two gods of Asgard to keep an eye on. Plus whatever mischief Loki had gotten up to in the ballroom.

She couldn’t imagine anything needing to be changed, not with how refined his tastes were, but… it wouldn’t hurt to make sure.

The box Sadie mentioned was small and flat, and Lauren lifted off the lid to reveal pink tissue paper. From inside, she pulled out an off-white silk teddy which was, to her mind, not much better than no underwear at all, but - her thoughts turned to later that night and Loki’s face when the dress fell to reveal… this.

Oh, yes. She would definitely wear the teddy.

It was exceptionally low cut in the back, but with her dress, it was a necessity. The silk was seamless, contouring to her body as Lauren drew it up. She slipped her arms through the holes, noting the deep cut to the sides and minor boning in the front which lent support to her breasts.

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and had to smirk a little. Loki would swallow his tongue when he saw her. At least, she hoped he would. He left her breathless so often, she’d really like to return the favour.

Her dress was hanging on the back of the door, looking elegant and beautiful, and when she touched it, a shiver of pleasure snaked its way through her body. The party had suddenly become even more important to her.

If this were her, for lack of a better term, Asgardian binding day, she would cherish every minute of it. Nothing would spoil tonight. Not her mother or her sisters. Not anything.

She slipped the dress on carefully and smoothed it out. Yes, Sadie was a damn genius, but Loki’s addition of the golden chain across her shoulders and down her spine had also been brilliant.

Tonight she felt regal. She felt like the absolute belle of the ball. When she looked into the mirror again, she wondered at the glow which seemed to radiate from within. Was it her happiness which made her seem so? Or was it something more? She’d have to ask Loki to know for sure.

She quietly opened the door to see Sadie tugging up the side zipper on a strapless sequined red dress that fell only to mid-thigh, showing off her incredible legs and the sky-high white pumps with the sparkle-encrusted heels.

“Wow, Sadie!” Lauren gasped.

“I know right?” she giggled, reaching for the bracelet of diamonds and rubies Marcus had given her as a wedding gift.

Lauren remembered it vividly as she’d helped him pick it out, managed to haggle him a deal and keep him from buying anything gaudy. The tennis bracelet had been a perfect fit for both budget and bride.

Sadie turned to seek assistance, only to have the item slide through her fingers to the floor. “Oh, my god… oh… oh, my god! Is that… did you… how? Y’all were gone all of ten minutes!”

Lauren laughed even as her eyes watered and waved a hand at her face to keep the tears at bay. “I know!”

“Okay, okay, okay.” Sadie fanned her own face. “No cryin’. Neither of us can afford blotchy faces, but what the hell happened?”

Lauren shook her head. “I can’t, or I’ll cry. Just,” she hurried across the room and hugged her friend, “I want you to know him much you mean to me Sadie. Talkin’ about all that’s happened, gettin’ it out, helped put things in perspective.”

“Oh, dang it all, Lu! Why’d you have to go and say that?” Sadie sniffled.

“Because, Sadie, you’re my best friend, and I love you with every bit of my heart.” Lauren held her close as both grew teary-eyed and sniffled.

“Okay! Enough of bein’ sappy old women.” She pushed Lauren back. “My goodness though, Lu. You look like someone lit a firework inside you. You just sparkle!”

Lauren blushed as she crouched to pick up Sadie’s bracelet. “You’re the one who sparkles. Look at that dress.”

Sadie ran her hands down her side. “Well, I bought it before I found out about the baby and figured if it still fit, I was gonna wear it.”

“You look great, really.”

A pout replaced Sadie’s smile. “I’m kinda annoyed.” She turned sideways in the mirror. “No bump.”

“Give it time,” Lauren snickered as she clipped Sadie’s bracelet around her wrist. “I’m sure you’ll be complainin’ about too much bump in no time.”

“I suppose you’re right about that.” Sadie snickered and hurried over to the garment bag, hung up on the inside of Lauren’s closet door. “Now, I know we talked about shoes when y’all were at the store, but after Loki added his embellishments, I thought maybe these might be better.”

Lauren gasped when Sadie turned with the stunning gold shoes in hand. “Sadie! They’re gorgeous! But how?”

She waved a dismissive hand. “A few years back someone,” she rolled her eyes, “insisted she just had to have the gold weddin’ shoe from the Dolce and Gabbana line.” She crouched to set the heavily embellished shoe on the ground in front of Lauren. “Took me ages to finally get them in, and once I did she who shall not be named, lil’ miss prissy pants, decided they were too gaudy for her taste. More like her mama saw the price tag and threw a fit. They’ve been sittin’ in my stockroom takin’ up space ever since.”

“Did you at least keep her deposit?” Lauren asked as she lifted her dress and stepped into the first pump, knowing damn well Sadie was talking about Georgia Dalton.

“Damn right I did. The entire thirty percent and when she bitched about it, I explained, ever so nicely, that her thirty percent was to cover the cost of the shoes sittin’ in my stockroom cause no one else in their right mind would ever pay that kind of price for a pair of shoes.” Sadie fit the second shoe to Lauren’s foot and got back to her fee. “Well, except maybe your mama or Cissy.”

Lauren rotated her foot back and forth, watching the dark gold gleam. “You sure you ain’t gonna catch hell for this?” she asked softly.

“They’ve been collectin’ dust for four long years. It’s time someone wore them, and you just happen to have the same size feet as her, unlike me, or I would have worn them years ago.”

Lauren let go of her dress, sending the hem fluttering to the floor and took a final look at the two of them in the mirror. She ran her hands over the middle of her dress and tried not to bite her lip.

“Lu,” Sadie took her hand, “you look amazin’. No, more than that. You look like a princess like you belong on Loki’s arm. Tonight, no matter what anyone says, you hold your chin up, you stand tall, and you remember the fact that only you were special enough to earn the love of a god.”

“It’s like goin’ to war every time we do this,” Lauren whispered, clenching her shaking fist against her stomach.

“Yeah, Lu. I know, but this time you have two Avengers standin’ at your back. Remember who your friends are. Remember where your real family is at.” Sadie hugged her tight and tugged her toward the balcony doors. “Time to knock the socks off the men!”

Lauren breathed deep and pushed open the door only to have her heart stutter. “Loki.”

He’d changed his attire to that of a formal suit and looked like he’d stepped from the pages of a magazine. Not quite black, the three-piece suit was a dark grey with a sheen to it, the vest buttoned over a crisp white shirt. His tie had threads of gold worked into it which, on closer inspection, mimicked the serpentine pattern her pendant had once held. The pocket square tucket up by his lapel was of the same fabric, and Lauren smiled.

“You look wonderful!” she sighed, taking his offered hands when he made his way over.

“No, my darling. It is you who looks amazing. So radiant. You glow, my heart.” He kissed her cheek before holding her hands out to send an appreciative gaze over her. “Sadie dear, you have my thanks.”

Sadie blushed when Loki bowed to her. “Oh, well, Lu makes it easy. What can I say.”

***

But Loki wasn’t just speaking of the dress, or the hair, or Lauren’s shoes. He was talking about all of it. Every word which had passed the woman’s lips in these last few minutes had been spoken to lift his Lauren up. To raise her from the quagmire of despair and uncertainty her family had tried continuously to drown her in.

Sadie was a true friend, a real sister to his Lauren. In no way would Loki ever be able to repay the petite brunette for all she’d done to continue to bolster Lauren when her spirits flagged.

“Shall we?” he said instead, waving his hand and opening a portal.

“Oh, but Sadie is…” Lauren looked at her friend.

“With child. I am aware. She will be fine, darling.” He held out his hand to the woman practically bouncing on her tall shoes.

“I have no idea how you know that, but I don’t care! I’m so in!” Sadie squealed and gripped his hand tightly.

Loki chuckled. Her enthusiasm was charming. “Let us start with the garden.”

“Garden?” Lauren asked as she stepped through on his arm.

“Oh! That’s a bit of a head rush, ain’t it?” Sadie giggled as they arrived at the edge of the garden.

“It takes getting used to,” Loki said, nodding to Thor who was waiting for them. He cast a critical eye over his brother who had managed to shift his own attire to something resembling formal wear. “One would think you had learned something of fashion from all the parties Stark throws.” He flicked his fingers and corrected things, so Thor no longer looked as if he’d purchased an ill-fitting suit off the rack.

“I’m not even sure why I packed a suitcase at this point,” Lauren snickered.

Thor, meanwhile, had zeroed in on the torque gleaming with the low light of evening.

“My bonded Ástvinur, brother,” Loki smiled proudly.

“Lauren,” Thor whispered, voice hoarse before he walked forward and dropped to a knee at her feet, took up her hand and brought it to his forehead. “I can’t express… you have given me… thank you.”

She gently cupped his cheek, her eyes shining with hard-fought tears. “Please don’t. I can’t keep fixin’ my makeup.”

He chuckled and lurched to his feet to sweep her up in a hug that lifted Lauren into the air. “My sister! You have done it, my sister!” he bellowed, laughing his big booming laugh as he swung them around in a circle.

“Please don’t break my wife,” Loki muttered, arching a brow at his brother.

“Wife!?” Sadie squeaked, her eyes growing round.

“By Asgardian standards, yes. Though we have yet to wed by Midgard law, for all express purposes Lauren is most certainly my wife.” Loki held out his hand to draw her back to his side when Thor released her, only to be grabbed himself and pounded heartily on the back.

“Then you should give it to her,” his brother insisted once he’d let Loki go, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring sternly.

“You know how she feels about that,” Loki huffed.

“What?” Lauren asked.

“She already wears mother’s bracers. You know Frigga would have wanted her to have it,” Thor argued.

“Have what?” Lauren asked.

“But she has no desire to be put in that position,” Loki countered, glaring at Thor.

“Hey!” Lauren smacked Loki in the chest. “Standin’ right here! Stop talkin’ over me like I’m not!”

“Forgive me, darling.” Loki sighed, continuing to glare at Thor whom he was certain was about to get him in trouble. “My brother is referring to this.” He turned his hand over, allowing the circlet of delicately worked gold and precious white stones to appear in his palm.

“Oh!” she gasped and recoiled slightly. “Is that… what I think it is?”

“It was our mother’s. The one she wore most often for daily summons and court appearances,” Thor explained, his eyes bright with excitement.

“Oh, but I…” Lauren trailed off when she looked at Sadie.

“You’ll never know until you try, Lulu,” Sadie encouraged.

She took a deep breath, and Loki held his. Would she accept? Dare she? It was a huge step but, as he’d continuously been telling her, the people of Asgard would love her as their princess.

“Maybe… maybe I could… try it on?” she said, a nervous flush adding pink to her cheeks.

Loki somehow managed to keep his features schooled as he murmured, “You certainly should.” He took the circlet, far stronger than its delicate appearance belied, much like Lauren herself, and placed it down over her brow. It was barely the width of his thumb. Refined. Elegant. Exquisite against the softness of her skin.

“Oh, Lauren,” Sadie sighed, her hand going to her mouth as her eyes watered. “I feel like I should curtsey and call you, your highness!”

Lauren’s eyes grew very round. “No! Don’t be doin’ that, Sadie.” She reached up to take it off, but Loki captured her hands.

“You look lovely, my heart.” A wisp of magic rose to slide the circlet beneath the top layer of her hair, leaving only the band across her forehead visible. “There. It is not so noticeable, but it makes me happy to know you wear it.”

Her cheeks were quite red, and she trembled slightly prompting Loki to send a glance Thor’s way.

“Lady Sadie.” Thor smiled at the woman. “Why don’t you and I take a turn around the garden?” Though it was voiced as a question, he didn’t allow the woman to deny him, simply swept her arm into his and started away.

Loki brought Lauren’s hands to his chest and set them there before gently cupping her cheeks. “What’s wrong, elskan min?”

“It’s just… a lot to get used to. I’m not sure about this whole… princess thing.”

“I know, darling.” He brushed his thumbs over her cheeks. “It is only a pretty piece of jewelry. I can remove it if you wish?”

She sighed. “Thor’s really pushy, ain’t he?”

“That he is,” Loki chuckled softly.

“Sadie said I should try it, that maybe I’d like it if I gave it a chance.”

“Your friend is quite smart.”

“She has her moments.” A small smile curled Lauren’s lips.

“What’s really bothering you, love?”

“Mama’s parties give me anxiety,” she sighed, stepping into him and sliding her hands up his chest to wrap behind his neck as his went around her. She rested her cheek against him. “You didn’t hear what she said earlier, did you?”

“When your father intervened?” She nodded. “No. Why? What did she say?”

“Nothin’. It’s not relevant anymore.” She settled further into him.

Loki couldn’t help but let his hands dip into the edges of her dress, caressing her bare back. “Now I am quite curious. What did she say?”

“Promise me you won’t freak out?”

His hand drifted up her back to the nape of her neck where the tails of the serpents twined together creating the clasp of her torque. “I promise.” It was an easy one to make, knowing she was forever more his.

“She said I shouldn’t be wastin’ my time bein’ a princess when I could be queen.”

“What!” he snarled.

She gave his hair a tug. “You promised.”

He calmed instantly. “Apologies. I was understandably surprised, though, why it still surprises me when people prefer Thor is a mystery. They always prefer Thor.”

“Not me,” she whispered, lifting her head to look at him. “I never have. It’s always been you, Loki.”

“Elskan min,” he growled softly and ducked his head to kiss her lush red lips. He could feel the love swell in her heart, so much stronger now with the jewel pulsing at her throat. Loki slipped his fingers beneath her hair and cupped the base of her skull, holding her tight to him with a firmly splayed hand on the bare skin of her lower back.

He licked her lip and slipped between them to flick his tongue over the tip of hers, press and stroke them together, and when she whimpered that soft, sweet mewl of desire he was coming to know so well, he tilted his head, sealed their mouths together and moaned.

His magic spiralled with it, trickling down to fill her with his power. While she couldn’t use it, it wasn’t about to flow out of her like it had a few days ago in the helicopter. This time it remained, humming inside her, and when he lifted his head to look down at her, her lashes fluttered open to reveal emerald eyes which glimmered with the green of his magic. Gold flecks sparkled in the depths, and she was, quite simply, the most gorgeous creature he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Your beauty knows no end tonight, my heart.” He’d thoroughly wrecked her lipstick, though, and ran his thumb over her lips to fix it before swiping his hand over his mouth to remove what had transferred. While he’d enjoyed the red painted on her lush mouth, he preferred the glossy texture she regularly employed and gave the red a high sheen. Now, they looked like the skin of a ripe apple waiting to be bitten.

“Thank you, peaches.” She straightened his tie, pausing when her gaze landed on the cuffs around her wrists. “Were these really Frigga’s?”

“They were. There were a few key pieces she’d always said would be mine one day. Mine for my Ástvinur should I desire them.” He turned and tucked her arm into the crook of his elbow. “I took them to be petty when I left Asgard. They were mine by right. Left to me by Frigga. Though we were on poor terms when she passed, I do not believe she would have ever struck that wish from her heart. And I wanted them,” he shrugged, “a piece of her to keep close. The comb from earlier was also hers.” It had been laying on Lauren’s dresser, and he’d quickly put it away, not daring to leave it out where Cissy’s sticky fingers could find it.

“I thought them regal before. Now that I know they were hers, I’ll cherish them,” she said, touching one gently.

“We shared a special bond, Frigga and I because of seiðr, the type of magic we do. I know she would have loved you quite fiercely had she lived and shown you off proudly.” She blushed, as he’d expected, making him chuckle as they rounded the first hedgerow.

Lauren gasped staring at the image before her. “Loki… what… how?”

He smiled proudly. “Mother has been on my mind much lately. This is my tribute to her.” He swept his hand out, setting thousands of lights ablaze around the twisting knots of the rose garden. Flowers burst into bloom, filling the air with their fragrance as red and white and deep ocean blue unfurled around them. But in the very center of the intricate paths and raised beds, stood a pool of sparkling blue water toward which he led a speechless Lauren.

“Oh, my gosh, Lauren!” Sadie cried, jumping up and down beside Thor. “Y’all have got to see this!”

Lauren was staring at the tree rising from the water. At the flowers dripping from its branches. The Fortryllende was in full bloom, tall and stately, but it wasn’t the tree Sadie was enthralled with, unaware of its importance.

“Loki… that’s the flower you made for Gran.” Tears sparkled on her lashes.

“It is. Odin’s gift to Frigga. A fitting addition to tonight, seeing as my intended is now my bonded. I will have to give Father a hard time. It certainly didn’t take me one-hundred days to entice my chosen to me.” He snickered, and Thor chuckled. “But I believe Sadie is referring to the creatures swimming among the roots, not the tree itself.”

He led Lauren to the water’s edge. “Look, darling.” Loki crouched and dangled his fingers in the water, calling one closer. It curled its way around his wrist to climb up and sit, wet and dripping, on the back of his hand.

“Oh, my stars!” Lauren squeaked as she crouched down beside him, Sadie and Thor looking on. “It’s a little dragon!”

Loki chuckled and shook his head. “It is a Voktere. They are the keepers of Fortryllende trees, tending the roots and seeing them free of pests and disease. When Odin created the flowers, and in turn the trees, these flocked to them in droves.” He pet the small head of the dragon-like creature. Scaled and reptilian, they had long sinuous bodies, came in a variety of jewel tones and had tails similar to fancy fish with large flowing fins.

When Lauren reached out tentatively, Loki shook his head while urging the creature off his hand. “I am afraid these are all illusion, my darling. One day I will take you to the Fortryllende tree in Frigga’s actual garden and introduce you to the Voktere for real.” He showed her his hand, free of water.

“Loki’s illusions have increased in potency nearly one-hundred fold,” Thor said proudly. “His magic has become something to marvel at, my sister.”

“How much of this is an illusion?” Lauren asked, taking Loki’s offered hands when he rose to help her back to her feet.

“A good portion. A few strategically placed beds contain the roses for scent, but for the rest,” he ran his hand through a hedge and made it waver, “simply a pleasing façade.”

“Y’all must be a riot ‘round Halloween!” Sadie clapped excitedly.

“If one could get him to participate,” Thor nudged Loki’s shoulder.

Loki rolled his eyes and heaved a heavy sigh. “It is such a trite holiday. Everything is either zombies or werewolves or vampires.” He snapped his teeth together and smiled a set of sharp fangs. “What’s so scary about this?”

Heat flared, a delicious shiver of it that raced through him from the heart stone. He snapped his gaze down to Lauren and found pink cheeks and lustful eyes staring at his mouth.

“Perhaps this year I will consider participating.” He grinned and stroke a fang with his tongue.

Lauren swallowed rather hard. “My what big teeth you have,” she whispered, her hand coming up to flutter before landing on his chest.

“I believe those were the next set of teeth over,” he chuckled wickedly, letting his eyes run to gold before returning to green.

“Damn,” Sadie sighed. “Y’all are tryin’ to kill the rest of us.” She fanned her face rapidly.

Thor chuckled and collected her hand to his elbow. “Asgardians have few reservations when it comes to worldly pleasures. We are a sensual people,” he purred to Sadie.

“Thor! Cut it out!” Lauren barked. “Stop flirtin’ with my friend.”

“No, no. Keep goin’. Please,” Sadie giggled.

Lauren shook her head. “Two words, Sadie June. Marcus and baby.”

“Spoilsport,” Sadie pouted.

“You are with child?” Thor grinned big and wide. “How auspicious! A blessing on you, fair Sadie. May your son or daughter be favoured by the gods and successful in their chosen future.” With that said, he leaned down and kissed her square on the mouth.

“What in the blue blazes?”

Lauren turned to see Marcus and Lafayette come through the flower maze. “Marcus!”

Thor lifted his head with a grin. “Ah! The father-to-be!” He set Sadie away from him, made sure she was stable, and practically bounced across the space to take Marcus by the shoulders. “Congratulations, my friend! You and your lovely wife will have a child blessed by Thor!”

It was as Thor was pounding the life out of Marcus in a bone-crushing hug that Lauren turned to Loki. “Huh?” she asked, gesturing between Sadie and Marcus.

Loki gave a long-suffering sigh. “While God of Thunder is his preferred title, Thor is also the God of Fertility.”

Her mouth fell open. “What?”

“There were a few centuries when Father was ready to rip his hair out because of Thor’s appeal to women.” Loki snickered.

“So… the way he handled mama and Marabeth?”

“It’s a gift.”

“And this?” She motioned toward Sadie.

“Exactly what he said it was. He’s blessed her and their child.”

Lauren snorted in obvious amusement, turning her face into his chest. “Does that mean Sadie’s baby is goin’ to be better behaved, or just like Thor is?”

“You know,” Loki bit back a chuckle, “I have no idea. I’ve never been interested enough to find out how a blessing goes.”

“Maybe… maybe we should see how this one goes… before we let him bless any of ours?” she whispered, glancing up at him and biting her lip.

The intense surge of desire which raced through him with that question was strong enough to knock down a mountain, but he contained it, just barely, to bend close to her ear and murmur, “Or, we keep going until he gets it right.”

She jerked back to glare at him. “Just how many babies you think I’m gonna be havin’?”

“As many or as few as you want, my heart.” He skimmed his fingers up her spine, setting the slim chains swinging sensually against her back. “Whatever makes you happy, darling.” She sighed, a smile pulling at her lips when she rested her head against his heart.

Over her head, however, he levelled a hard look at Lafayette who seemed unable to pull his eyes from Lauren’s bare back. He stood next to Thor, mouth agape, while his brother thoroughly disconcerted Sadie’s husband.

“Come, darling. I will show you the rest before more guests arrive.” Loki dropped his hand to lay possessively against her lower back. “Brother, you have quite made your point. Let us continue on while the lady Sadie and her husband catch up.”

“Right, right.” Thor gripped Marcus’s shoulders tightly. “A virile male! It is good!” He slapped the man’s arms heartily, turned and made his way toward them, offering the still stunned Sadie a short bow. “Until later.”

“Huh? Yeah. Dance.” Sadie nodded.

They were nearly back to the terrace, out of earshot of the three they’d left behind when Lauren burst out laughing. “I think that’s the first time in years I’ve seen Sadie tongue-tied!” Though she laughed, her eyes were in constant motion and full of excitement, lighting up in wonder or awe when her gaze alighted on something new which pleased her.

Her happiness simply bubbled out of her.

“It is so rare I meet a woman in the first blush of her pregnancy. It puts a pep in one’s step!” Thor chuckled. “Perhaps I am overzealous, but new life should be celebrated. Too often all we see is death and the aftermath of destruction. It is good to see the renewal as well.”

Lauren came to a stop and turned toward Thor where she pressed up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “Y’all are just a big softy.”

“Complete with a gooey center,” Loki agreed.

“The same one that lies beneath your hard shell,” Lauren quipped, picking up her dress in the front to take the terrace stairs.

Loki took her free hand, ignoring the comment, while Thor cupped her elbow to assist her up the stairs. “There is still time to change anything you dislike,” he assured Lauren, trying not to fidget. Thor threw him a look which clearly said he was being stupid, but he couldn’t help the small niggling feeling that she would hate it.

“If it’s anythin’ like the garden? What wouldn’t I… like… oh, Loki!” she gasped, staring open-mouthed at her surroundings. Her hand left his as she walked further into the room to tilt her head back and stare at the ceiling. “How?” she asked.

He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked up with her. “There’s a cave on Vanaheim. The ceiling is made of such crystal.” The five chandeliers had been replaced by three large stalactites, a multitude of smaller crystals filing in space around them. Thor’s lightning was caught in the center crystal but had jumped to both outer ones as well, creating a soft glow over the room, forming shadows on the walls and floor with the cloudy nature of the smoky crystal.

The light from the windows was beginning to fade, and as it did, the blue sparks he’d set in the sheers became more apparent, floating much like the fireflies had. Lauren’s hand shook where it hovered over her lips as she took in the floor and the forest of trees along the walls.

There was a band setting up in the corner near the rear of the room, and Loki urged Lauren toward the side rooms. “Thor thought a taste of home wouldn’t be out of place tonight.”

She said nothing as she stepped into the first room, dark but for flickering candles and twinkling sky. Sue Ann was puttering, but she only looked up, grinned at Loki, smiled appreciatively at Lauren, and went back to arranging the food.

As he led Lauren away, Thor remained behind. The sound of fingers getting smacked made Loki smirk, but Lauren’s silence was beginning to concern him.

In the next room with the blue-lit bar and ceiling full of vines, she inhaled sharply as she made her way toward the man at the back who swiftly poured her a glass of wine, evidently aware of her preferences.

“Thanks, Mike,” she whispered hoarsely.

“The place looks incredible, miss Lauren. I was mighty impressed. Knew it had to be your doin’.” The man nodded at her and smiled.

“His doin’,” she said pointing at Loki after downing a healthy swallow of wine.

Loki gave a slight shrug and took her hand to lead her to the final room.

There, beneath the branches laden with flowers, under twinkling lights, and reflected by mirrors, she set her glass on a table and burst into tears.

His heart stopped. “No! No, no!” Loki leapt forward to drag her into his arms. “You can’t cry! I’ll fix it! I’ll fix everything! Just tell me what I did wrong?”

“Nothin’!” she sobbed, sliding her arms up to wrap them around his neck.

His heart kicked hard and restarted. “Then why are you crying, love?”

“Because!”

He wanted to laugh, she was so damn adorable but fought it back. “That is not really an answer.”

“It’s p-perfect!” she wailed.

“Then you should be happy, my heart, not soaking me in your tears.”

“You don’t,” she gasped, “understand!”

He stroked her back and shifted them over until he could urge her into a chair and sat with their knees touching. With a flick of his wrist, he produced a square of linen and gently wiped her face. “Help me understand.”

She took the linen to mop her wet cheeks, breathed out a shaky breath, and wiped her nose. “These parties, they’re… they’re like goin’ into battle. No matter how hard I’d try, somehow I’d always fail. Never good enough, that was me. But this,” she looked up at the ceiling, black tracking her cheeks from her makeup, “this is like a fairytale come true. Like walkin’ into another world. I’ve never seen… anythin’ so, so magical.”

Her chin wobbled, and Loki reached out to cup her cheek. “You, my sweet, kind, precious, Lauren have never been a failure. You excel at everything you try your hand at. If your mother or your sisters claimed you were a failure it was out of jealousy or spite. I am certain even tonight they will find something of fault for that is how they are, but it is not you who is the problem. It is them. It always has, and will always be them.”

“It’s easy to hear and easy to say, but harder to believe,” she sighed, leaning into his touch.

“I know. I know, darling.” He pulled her closer and let his forehead rest against hers. “I can only tell you, you are not responsible for them. You are not responsible for their happiness. You are not at fault for their misery. The only one you are responsible for making happy is you.”

“Loki.” She threaded her fingers through his hair while clutching the cloth in her lap.

“And me. I will always strive toward making you happy.”

A fresh tear trickled down her cheek as she shifted from her chair to his lap. “You make me… so happy,” she whispered hoarsely.

He stole the handkerchief back to catch the fresh tears. “That’s good, my sweet, but your tears hurt my heart, even the happy ones. Your eyes should never be wet.” Of course saying so caused a fresh flood of tears to fall from her eyes.

“I love you, Loki. I love you,” she said softly, her hands clinging to his neck.

“I know, pet, as I love you.” He wiped her tears and kissed her, gentle brushes of soft lips tasting of salt but not sorrow, until they slowed to a stop. “No more tears. Not tonight. Tonight, though it is known only to a few, we celebrate our binding.” He touched her torque lightly then encouraged her to her feet where he cupped her face as she grasped his wrists.

Green eyes, now red-rimmed, would not stay so. Neither would her makeup smeared face, but he held her there, remembering this moment, memorizing it, for he vowed silently to never see such pain track across her features again. “You must remember, Lauren, no matter what comes, you are no longer alone. You have me, your Ástvinur, standing proudly at your side. You have the King of Asgard at your elbow, and you have a terrific friend in your Sadie. She is a fierce thing for one so small.”

She giggled at that and breathed in deeply to stave off fresh tears. “She’s like a stick of dynamite. A big explosion in a small package.”

Loki chuckled. “That she is.”

“Alright. Let’s fix me up before anyone sees the mess I’ve made of myself.” She frowned at his shoulder. “And you. I smeared makeup on your collar.”

“An easy fix, darling.” Magic rippled, quickly there and gone, setting them both to rights and vanishing the soiled handkerchief. “There. No one shall be the wiser.” He stepped back to take a long look at her and slowly shook his head in amazement. “You are striking, my heart. A Goddess among men this eve. Come,” he held out his elbow for her, “I am quite desperate to show you off.”

Another giggle escaped her, lifting his heart from the pit it had been wallowing in with her upset. The bright blush he loved adorned her cheeks. Her hand closed lightly around his arm, she retrieved her glass, and he led her from the mirrored room at a pace which showcased her grace.

Hoyt and Magnolia were standing just inside the doors which led to the interior of the house, their mouths agape when he and Lauren appeared.

“Lauren!” Magnolia gasped. “Just look! I can’t believe it.”

“Isn’t it pretty, mama?” Lauren smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Why, I never! How do y’all think Quinn managed it?”

“She didn’t,” Loki snapped. “That wretched woman was making a mockery of things. Hideous, ghastly decorations. Then, when Lauren stepped in to put things to rights, requesting things be changed, she quit! The audacity of it. And the way she spoke to your daughter?” Loki scoffed, “Why, I can assure you she would no longer be in business had she treated Lauren with such disrespect in New York.”

“Loki, it’s fine, peaches.” She patted his arm.

“It most assuredly is not,” he muttered, but gave a long sigh and relented. “After, I humbly offered my services to my love to assist with the disaster left behind. Lauren throws such elegant soirees for Stark. It would have been such a shame to see her reputation sullied by someone else’s misdeeds.” He smiled pleasantly, though it was a touch sharp, having rocked her parents back on their heels.

While he’d noted most of the men were dressed as he was, a dark suit with a red or white accent, Hoyt had forgone the red for blue.

It made Loki wonder just how pissed off it had made Magnolia. She was eyeing Lauren’s outfit rather sharply. While the white dress was likely above reproach, all her gold accents were out of place in Magnolia’s theme.

A theme she’d taken to heart. Her off the shoulder red dress had a heart-shaped neckline and high waisted tulle skirt which flowed to the floor in a simple bell shape. Her elbow length white gloves, necklace and earrings of chunky diamonds, and high swept hair were, to his mind, overdone.

While Magnolia floundered to find words, Hoyt stepped forward and held out his hand. “I thank you kindly for your help, Loki. This is…” Hoyt motioned to the room, “I’ve never seen anythin’ like it.”

Loki grasped the hand and nodded his head. “Much of it is an illusion and will return to what it once was after the party. I may have gone… slightly overboard but it was to assist my radiant Ástvinur, so how could I not.”

Hoyt smiled at Lauren before leaning down to kiss her cheek. “You’re gonna be the star of the party tonight, little girl. You glow in that dress. You make sure and save your daddy a dance, you hear?”

“I’ll save him two,” Lauren said, her smile brighter than the diamonds on her mother when she pressed up to return his kiss.

“Your mother and I are gonna start greetin’ guests.” He nodded to the two of them, gripped Magnolia’s arm firmly, and hustled her away before she could speak.

“Oh, my,” Lauren snickered and sipped her wine. “Mama appears to be at a loss for words. I think that’s a first.”

“Should I put in my request for my dances now?” Loki teased, taking her in his arms. “After all, you’ve promised your father and Thor, and with how stunning you look, there will be men lined up waiting to snatch you away. I’m afraid I am feeling rather uninclined to share, darling.”

She laughed, and the sound was musical, seeming to rise up and echo amongst the crystals on the ceiling. “And what of you? Looking so dapper and handsome,” she pouted prettily. “It’s not as if you have a ring on your finger to ward off all the hussy’s who’ll be tryin’ to steal you from me for a dance.”

A flash of green surrounded his left hand. “You mean like this, my heart?” He smirked wickedly when he held his hand up and ran his thumb over the gold band wrapped in runes.

“You’re so bad,” she snickered. “They’ll all think I married in secret.”

He pulled her closer and breathed wantonly against her ear, “Didn’t you?”

“Ugh, must you, Lauren?” Marabeth muttered.

Loki looked up to glare her way when Lauren stiffened. It wasn’t something her sister would have noticed, but he’d felt the tension return to Lauren’s body. “No Samuel this evening?” he asked, knowing it was nasty and not caring.

“He’ll be arriving late!” Marabeth snapped, marching off with Quinn dogging her heels. At one point she stepped on Marabeth’s dress causing the woman to stop short and glare at Quinn.

“Do you think she knows how incredibly… wide that dress makes her ass appear?” he asked, Lauren.

“Loki!” she scolded, trying not to laugh.

“I am only saying, my heart, that the cut is not as flattering as it could be. Add in that enormous bow, and the garish colour, and I’m afraid she is having a ‘what not to wear’ moment.” The ball was meant to be red and white, not red edging into orange which did absolutely nothing for Marabeth’s complexion. “I’m going to assume she chose it herself. I can’t see Sadie making such an error even if she does dislike your sister.” He stroked his hands down her arms. “Not when she did such an exquisite job picking this for you.”

The click of heels drew his attention as Cissy passed without acknowledging either of them.

“Huh,” Loki grunted as she went by.

“What?” Lauren asked.

“She reminds me of a red Big Bird.”

Lauren barked out a laugh before biting her lip to contain it. “Just how much TV do you watch?”

He shrugged. “Midgardian daytime television is both fascinating and mind-numbing, but it alleviated the boredom I suffered when I was first here. Still, you cannot tell me she does not bear a striking similarity to the large yellow fowl creature on that children’s show. Either that or she forgot half her dress.”

The corset bodice, though it looked much like something which should be worn beneath one’s clothing, was heavily patterned in cut crystals, while the skirt was created of red and black feathers and fell to just above her knees.

“Remind me to introduce you to some better TV when we get back to the tower,” Lauren snickered softly, waving at Sadie as she and her husband made their way toward them.

Loki’s eye was caught by the visage of his brother, head and shoulders taller than the majority of the people, making his way through the growing crowd. There was a distinct scowl on his face, and when their gazes locked, Thor stopped and motioned toward the doors.

“Excuse me, my heart. It appears Thor needs me a moment.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek and slipped away from her side as Sadie arrived. “I’ll be back shortly,” he assured them as he passed, making his way swiftly toward Thor.

“Brother?”

Thor tilted his head toward the door. “Listen.”

Loki frowned but turned his hearing toward the door. His eyes snapped up to the lights coming nearer and immediately snarled something, not for polite company, in the old tongue. “I thought you told them to stay away?”

“I did!” Thor huffed. “What do you want to do? We could make them leave.”

“I could drop them through a portal,” Loki snarled stalking toward the door. People cleared from his path with a swiftness he’d only ever seen Barnes achieve. When they made the door and started down the terrace steps, avoiding the arriving guests who’d stopped to gawk at the incoming helicopter, Loki remembered his earlier foreboding. “There was a murder sitting in the trees tonight.”

“I saw it as well. Father sends a warning,” Thor murmured. “Do you think it was in regards to them?” He nodded toward the helicopter.

Slowly, Loki shook his head as he made his way through the garden. “Had they arrived prior to the binding finishing, I might have said yes. Now… I am not so sure.”

“So? What do you want to do?”

He looked at Thor a smiled. Wicked. Dark. Full of mischief. “Why, invite them to join us. I am certain Lauren won’t mind.”

“Loki? What are you planning?” Thor gripped his shoulder.

“Just a bit of fun, brother.”

“The last time we had just a bit of fun you dressed me up as a girl!”

Loki snorted at the memory. “And look at the fun you had.” He waved a hand, erecting a barrier which protected them from the downdraft of the landing helicopter. “We ate. You drank an ocean’s worth of ale. It was fun!”

“The drinking was fun,” Thor murmured, crossing his arms. “But if I end up in a dress again, I will kick your ass.”

“I’d like to see you try it now… brother,” he purred, knowing it would be much harder than it once was.

When the blades began to slow, Loki dismissed the shield and made his way forward as the door slid open. A slim hand was thrust from the inside, which he took without hesitation, and smiled like the cat who had eaten the canary. Things had just gotten so much more interesting.

Loki helped the woman descend to the ground and bowed over her hand. “Why, Miss Potts. How delightful of you to join us this evening.”

Next Chapter

#balance #loki #loki laufeyson #loki fanfiction #loki laufeyson fanfiction #god of mischief #god of mischief fanfiction #avengers #the avengers #avengers au #avengers fanfiction #fanfiction #southern belle

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pilot-of-a-cruel-machine · 7 years ago

Text

(here you go @roseredsrevenge for your prompt thingy. finally got meself a laptop. all of the story is under the cut)

"Trust me on this."

Sonya slid down the wall, her heart pounding in her chest, crumpling a piece of paper in her hands.

"Trust me on this."

Her legs ached, burned. So did her shoulders. In fact, so did everything. She had liked it better when she was numb.

"Trust me on this."

She curled up in a ball and tried to calm her breathing. Around her, all was eerily quiet. She hated that. She would rather her the sounds of everything coming crashing down around her. At least then she wouldn't have the turmoil in her head.

"Trust me on this. Please."

"I-I just don't think this is smart. I mean, the odds of it turning out alright are slim to none."

"It's… a chance."

"You don't normally believe in these things."

"No, I don't. But… I believe in this one. It's this or-- or, or something. I don't know. But we're not getting anywhere."

"I.. I just don't trust it. I'm sorry. I guess you can go ahead and do it."

"I won't do it if you aren't behind me…"

"I…"

"No?"

"I… I am. I think. I'm… doubtful."

"Really?"

"Yes. Just… please be careful."

And that had been that. And Mary had been right.

Looking back on it, Sonya wasn't sure what had made her believe also strongly in this opportunity as compared to all the others. Maybe it was how specifically it was suited to her interests and talents. Maybe it was how long-term and stable the contract had seemed.

Another image flashed in her head. A stack of money and a pencil, the picture from the flyer she had spotted. Perhaps, she had to admit, it was the money.

"You're an idiot, Sonya," she hissed under her breath. That was pointless. It wouldn't solve the problems they were having now, and it certainly wasn't going to erase two weeks of stupidity. Self-deprecation wasn't the way out, either, but damn, it felt good to let the little voice in the back of her head win for once.

Way out. Think. She had to find a way out.

She slipped farther down the wall until she was practically lying flat on the ground. She was exhausted, completely and utterly exhausted. What she really needed right now was a strong coffee, or maybe a nap.

No. She sat upright all of a sudden. She couldn't forget about getting out of here. Getting out, calling the police, finding Mary -- those were her top priorities.

Then, she heard the knock on the door.

***

"Where are you taking me?" Mary asked, for what must have been the eighth time. She couldn't see, and she needed to know.

"Shut up," the man leading her growled, and Mary frowned.

"Could you at least take the blindfold off?" she asked.

The man said nothing to this. Instead, he dug his fingers into her wrist, pressing right against the bones. Involuntarily, she winced, and her hand spasmed in pain. Would the man break her wrist? She wasn't sure. He had done that trick several times now, once when she tries to pull away, and the remaining few times to get her to shut up. She had concluded she wasn't getting away, but she didn't think the blindfold was required.

When the man had come to their apartment, it had been early morning, and there was no one except Mary awake to greet him.

"You're not Sonya," the man had said when she had opened the door. He was in a thin black t-shirt and black work pants. Scars crossed his lumpy, potato-like face, his thick neck, and his muscled arms. Something bulged from his hip.

Mary had shaken her head and dropped her necklace. "N-no, why?" she had asked, looking the big man up and down.

"Collectin'," he had replied gruffly.

Mary gave him another sweeping glance. "Collecting what…?" she had asked him.

The man shook her head. "She's late. Woulda thought you'd know 'bout it."

"Late for which one?" Mary's best guess was that the man was for the landlord, the electric company, or the credit card companies, but it didn't seem professional for them to send a heavily muscled, very scarred, six-foot tall man to come for debts.

"Work."

Mary had shaken her head and said, "No, she doesn't have to go in for another couple of hours. She's sleeping right now." She pointed over her shoulder, towards the hallway. "It's too early to wake her yet. She needs her sleep."

The man seemed to smile at that, for a line cut across the boiled potato face. "Does she, now." He looked over the hallway. "Well, I think we'll leave her a little reminder for when she wakes up." He chuckled. "Yes?"

Mary had nodded. "I can tell her, or I could write her a note for--"

That was when he had grabbed her face with one hand and pulled her out of the apartment. "Have that covered, trust me," he said, slamming the door shut behind them and carting her down the stairs.

Now she was here, a blindfold around her eyes and her wrist encapsulated between the man's thick fingers, walking along a seemingly endless corridor. His footsteps echoed with the clunk of boots, and her bare feet padded near-silently on the cold tile floor. She had no idea where they were going, or even where they were, and she had less of an idea as to why.

She wasn't given much time to think on this. A door clicked open somewhere in front of her. The man dropped her hand. She twisted her head around, trying to catch a glimpse from under the blindfold. "Where--"

Her question, and her air, was cut off when the man shoved between her shoulder blades. "Climb," he grunted.

She nodded, regained her balance, and tried to make her way blind up a set of stairs.

***

When Sonya had woken up the next morning, Mary was gone. The only trace of who had taken her was a blinking light on the answering machine.

Sonya bit back her anxiety and pushed the play button.

"2304 Market. Third floor." Click.

As if a dam broke, it all came back full force.

"Oh, God, no," she breathed. "Please, God, no."

The woman on the phone line had been the same woman who had answered that day two weeks ago, when she had called for the job listings.

"Believe it or not, you're the first person to call."

"Really? I don't see why. It's a great opportunity."

"It's true, you are. Funny, isn't it? Good thing too. You'll get all the pay."

"I will?"

"Yes, of course! A talented artist like you? You'd've been paid more already. But now? All yours, my friend."

"What's the catch?"

"Maybe a little extra work. That's it, though. Well worth the salary you'll get. So what'll you say?"

"Really? That sounds--"

"Too good to be true? I can assure you, it's plenty true and all good. Trust me on this. So?"

"I'll… I'll take it."

Sonya had swallowed and shaken her head to clear the memory. She had been stupid, that was all. And now she was paying for it in that they had taken Mary. But for what? Because a few things had been late? It wasn't fair.

Complaining would get her nowhere. She should go to the police. Mary was gone now, kidnapped, and logically, that would be where she should go. It would make sense.

She grabbed her cell phone and pushed herself out of bed. She'd call as soon as she got there, as soon as she got confirmation that Mary was there. She'd been lied too before by this crew; what was to stop them from lying again?

Nothing, apparently, Sonya realized, holding the crumpled note in her hand. 6578 67th. Roof. Noon. They had tricked her into a wild goose chase, and it was already eleven thirty. There was no way she was going to make her way from Market to 67th in half an hour, and even then, it would take another ten minutes to climb the stairs, maybe six if she used the elevators. She had no car, no money for a taxi. She felt trapped her.

The knocking on the door got louder, more incessant. "Come on, Sonya. Answer me. I know you're in there."

It was the woman again, the woman without a name, the woman who puppeteered everything. Sonya bit her lip.

"You want your girlfriend, you come with me. Change of heart, you might say. Now, come on. Open the door."

She shouldn't answer the woman. Some part of her felt that automatically meant losing.

"Are you going to open the door yourself, or am I going to have to drag you out of there?"

Sonya turned away and pushed herself into a standing position, dropping the paper onto the ground as she did so. Her legs still ached from the sprint up Market Street. She had no choice.

She could always climb out the window and leave the woman without a name waiting for nothing. Perhaps it would buy her some time to get down to 67th Street. She felt like it was the safest bet.

"One."

Oh, God, she was counting. Sonya turned around and started to walk towards the window. How far was it from there to the ground?

"Two."

She quickened her pace and made it to the window. Gripping the sill beneath her fingers, she stuck her head out. Directly beneath her was a metal fire escape. Wind blew past her, whipping her hair into her eyes and making the metal staircase creak. It wouldn't be the quietest of options, but--

"Three."

It was the only option. The door clicked open, and Sonya started to climb out of the window. She was straddling the windowsill when the woman spoke again.

"Did you really think that you'd be able to get out of this so easily?"

Sonya opened her mouth to answer, but she wasn't fast enough. There was an electric buzzing, and a taser beam hit Sonya directly in the arm. Her muscles seized up immediately. She bit down on her tongue hard enough to taste blood.

The beam stopped, her muscles relaxed, and she slipped off the windowsill onto the fire escape. The last thing she heard was the clang of her head hitting the railing, and then all was black.

***

When Mary climbed out of the stairwell, a gust of cool air blew right across her face. She felt strands of hair slip out of her braid and brush against her cheek. She was outside.

Noise drifted up to her: cars honking, people shouting, dogs barking. She was on a roof.

The man shoved her shoulders again. This time, she fell, a sharp drop onto the rough, gravel covered roof. Sharp stones bit into her face and arms. She winced and tried to roll over. It hurt like God knows what.

"Get up," the man growled; at least, that's what it sounded like, at least. He had made more of a grunt that Mary had tried to put into words. He grabbed her arm roughly and tugged, wrenching her arm as he did so. She cried out in pain.

That was a mistake. The man grabbed her face with his other hand and pinched to keep her mouth closed. He pinned her arm behind her back until there was a sharp pop, accompanied by a wave of pain. "Shut up," he hissed. He was so close to her that she could taste the cigarette smoke on his breath. Meekly, she nodded. Tears pricked at the back of her eyes. Oh, Lord, it hurt. Make it stop hurting.

She felt herself stumbling to keep up with the man, who was now dragging her. Forcefully, she was dumped into a sitting position. For one, horrible second, she felt like she was falling.

The man grabbed her arm and straightened her. She was on the edge of the roof.

"We'll take your blindfold off soon," the man said. "And then you'll understand."

Mary shivered. There was nothing left to do now but pray.

***

Sonya came to twenty minutes later, the woman without a name standing over her, shaking her head. "You're out of time," she said, clicking her tongue. "Or you will be if you don't get up."

Sonya opened her mouth to say something. All that came out was a pained moan. "W-what do you want?" she said when she could speak again.

"You'll find out soon enough. Or perhaps not, if you don't get up. But if you stay here, you'll both suffer needlessly. And where will you be then?" The woman shrugged. "Make your choice."

Sonya sat up and a wave of dizziness washed over her. "W-why?" she stammered, pressing the heel of her hand to her eyes. "What did I--"

"Shh." The woman crouched and pressed a finger to Sonya's lips. "You'll find out soon enough, I said." She rose. "Come on. I'll be nice and drive you." With that, she turned around and walked off, boot heels clicking on the floor.

Sonya sat there in disbelief, still not quite in reality. What was happening anymore? It was like logic had dissolved through her fingers.

"Come on, Sonya. I'll be nice. Trust me on this," the woman called from the doorway.

Sonya, using the wall as a brace, slid to a standing position. She squeezed her eyes shut to try and keep her balance. When that failed, she pressed her fingers against the rough brick of the wall and lurched towards where the woman without a name was.

The woman smiled. "Hurry up now," she said lightly, as if it was just a walk in the park.

Sonya nodded and picked up her pace as fast as her spinning head could allow.

***

Mary heard the man shift next to her. "Huh. It's noon," she heard him mutter. "They shoulda been there by now."

"What happens at noon?" Mary asked, dropping her necklace from her mouth. It was too dark beneath this blindfold. She hated this

"Nothin' important."

Mary bit her lip. "What happens now?"

"You'll see. Shut up."

Mary resumed chewing on her necklace.

A few moments passed in silence, and then the door burst open. "She's here!" a woman called.

The man ripped the blindfold off of Mary, and all the light came rushing in at once.

"Sonya!" she cried, upon noticing her girlfriend at the doorway.

***

Sonya was leaning heavily on the woman without a name's shoulder, her fingers digging so deep into the woman that it must have hurt her. She felt exhausted, scared -- even so, she saw Mary across the roof, and something fresh opened inside her. "Mary--" she responded, outstretching her arm.

Mary was on her feet and looked about to run towards her, but the man behind her was shadowing her and grabbed her shoulder to hold her back.

"I-I'm here," Sonya whispered to no one.

The woman without a name laughed. "Yes, we are. But you're also late." She sighed. "Again." She shrugged Sonya off of her shoulder without a second thought. Sonya's legs gave out beneath her.

"A-again?" Sonya asked, squinting up at the woman. "What do you mean, again?"

"This man said he was collecting--" Mary began.

"Quiet," the man snapped.

"--and that you were late, but he didn't say for what--"

"Quiet!"

"Hush," the woman without a name said, waving her hand. "Both of you. I think she deserves to know."

Sonya stared. "Late…? For what…?" she asked, but the woman whirled on her, and she knew right away that that was the wrong question.

"Don't play dumb," the woman hissed. "You know exactly what you're late for. You've been late for a week now." She tapped her foot impatiently.

"For a week…?"

And then it hit her. This was about work. This was about the impossible workload that she had been practically forcefed.

"What do you mean, you can't finish on time?"

"It's… It's too much, please. Can't you extend the deadline?"

"This is what you signed up for. Didn't you agree to this?"

"I-I agreed to a little bit but not… I'm drowning here."

"You can do it. I know you can."

"I can't. I'm trying, but I just. I just can't."

"No, you can. You will. You have to. Or else."

Sonya hadn't pressed about the "or else". Now, she wished she had.

"I couldn't have," she said. "I couldn't! I was trying and-- I just fell apart. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, just lighten the load, please, please I'm begging--"

The woman shut her up with a glare of iron. "And whose fault is that?"

Sonya didn't answer. She wasn't sure what was the correct one.

"It was you, Sonya. It was you and you alone."

Sonya shook her head. "But--"

"No buts." The woman without a name snapped her fingers. "Tell you what. I'll lighten the load. But!" She held up a hand. "You have to do something for me."

Sonya nodded. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted the man tightening her grip on Mary's shoulder.

"Push her off."

Time seemed to slow down.

Sonya slumped even lower than she was. "W-what?" she stammered. "Push her off…?" She trailed off into silence.

"You know." The woman pointed to Mary. "Push her off."

Sonya turned to face her girlfriend head on, meeting Mary's eyes for a second before her eyes wandered again. Sonya bit her lip. "Why?"

The woman without a name crossed her arms. "This is your or else. This is your mistake." She snapped her fingers again. "You have no one to blame but yourself. Do it."

Sonya shivered, tears pricking at the back of her vision. She rose slowly. "I-I-" she stammered, walking towards her girlfriend.

Mary looked down at her. "Sonya, what are you doing?" she whispered.

Sonya put her hand on Mary's chest. There, she stopped. Her breath hitched in her throat.

"Come on, Sonya," the woman without a name said.

Sonya faltered. Her hand dropped.

"Sonya, please tell me what you're doing. I can't hear you from over there…"

Sonya sniffed. "I… I'm so sorry," she whispered. "I-I…"

Unable to continue speaking, she dropped her head against Mary's chest. Mary rested her hand on the back of Sonya's head. God, that just made Sonya want to cry even more. She couldn't just push her off the building. She couldn't do that to anyone, but not, never, could she kill Mary.

The woman muttered something that Sonya couldn't make out. "Oh, come on. It's not that hard. You've done it before," she said.

Sonya shook her head. Mary asked, "What do you mean, you've done it before?"

Sonya bit her lip. "I don't…" She trailed off, part of her remembering something, something about an accident of some sort.

"Now you've got it. So? Can't you?"

She shook her head again.

The woman gave an impatient huff. "Fine. If you won't do it, I'll do it myself," she growled.

Sonya looked over just in time to see the woman storming towards her. She sidestepped and dropped her arm, thinking that was what the woman wanted.

The woman without a name's lips curled into a cruel smile. "You didn't think it'd be that easy," she whispered.

She grabbed Sonya's hand and lunged forward. Sonya felt Mary's chest under her hand, and she wanted to scream, she wanted to fight back, but only a second later there was nothing but air, and Mary was gone.

Sonya pulled herself free of the woman's grip, leaned over the side. She clutched at the edge of the roof and tried to scream, but no sound came out, and she wasn't sure if there wasn't any or if she couldn't hear anything anymore.

She watched Mary falling, falling, falling, her arm outstretched towards Sonya, and then she hit the ground, and her arm went limp, and she wasn't moving. Oh, God, she wasn't moving.

Sonya felt her legs go numb and the scraping brick on her knees and then she didn't feel anything except this pitiful sadness, like something had swallowed her whole. She didn't even realize she was crying until she buried her face in her arms and pulled back and it was wet. Oh, God, no. No, no, no. No. No.

She stared at her hands, trying to breathe calmly, think rationally. Yet she was the last person who had touched Mary, the last hand on her, the hand that pushed her off. Even if she hadn't been in control, it had been her to do it.

She balled her hands into fists.

There was a hand on her shoulder. "What a shame," the woman said, except her voice was different. "If only you hadn't been so foolish." Her voice was familiar. "She trusted you, you know. She trusted you with every fiber of her being -- and you betrayed her like this." The woman clicked her tongue. Why was her voice familiar? "I thought better of you." It was like she'd heard it every day of her life. "Didn't think you were so selfish. And now you killed her because of it."

Sonya plugged her ears.

"This is all your fault. Trust me, Sonya. Or shouldn't you trust me?"

She could still hear the woman.

"Look at me, Sonya."

She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Look at me."

Sonya gave in.

She turned her head.

She looked right into a mirror. A smiling, twisted mirror. She was staring at herself.

Her reflection patted her shoulder, flashed a larger, worse smile, and rose. "Come on. The least you can do is make amends, as best as you can right now." The woman -- the reflection -- she laughed, without any happiness. "There's nothing to fix the past…"

Sonya shivered, her eyes welling with tears. But it wasn't me, she wanted to say.

She didn't bear to open her mouth.

"Yes, yes it was," the reflection said.

***

She woke up crying.

Her fingers gripped the edge of the chair like it was her last lifeline. Blood roared in her ears with the pace of her heart. She felt completely drained of anything.

"O-oh, thank God, it was a dream," she said to no one but herself. "I-I… Oh, thank God…" She grabbed at her shirt in relief, as if to physically will her heart to slow down. "What a… relief…"

Then, she heard the beeping, rhythmic and always the same. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

It hadn't all been a dream.

She sat up straighter in the chair, looking over her shoulder. Moonlight shone from through the curtains. It must have been at least eleven at night, if not later than that. Visiting hours were over hours ago. Why hadn't anyone woken her up?

Chewing her lip, she risked a glance over to the bed. Christ. Mary was still there, asleep, just as she had been for almost two weeks now. She was trapped there, unmoving, but still alive, the doctors said, still alive, almost waiting for the right time to come back. Two weeks…

Two weeks since the accident. Since the fall. Since Sonya had taken her up there, to the stained glass clock tower, and they had sat in the window just above it, which was open, according to the guard, eating dollar store chocolate chip cookies and watching the sunset. Two weeks since something had slipped, and down Mary had fallen. When Sonya found her again, she was nearly crushed between two huge, twitching gears, and she wasn't moving.

They had been warned that something would happen. But the guard told them it was going to be safe. She'd told them about the safety precautions, and led them to the spot on the sill where they had sat, and watched the colors, safe from the rest of the world. Mary had even told Sonya it was the "perfect date".

And then she was gone.

Sonya's hands were shaking. She hadn't pushed Mary. She hadn't moved at all. And yet, Mary had fallen, and now she was in suspension between life and death, and Sonya shouldn't have brought her up there at all, really, despite being allowed, despite seeing how beautiful it was up there alone first, despite spending hours in the company of herself with a book or her sketchpad, despite the guard saying that she rarely allowed two people in there, but this was an exception, despite, despite, despite...

Sonya might not have pushed Mary herself, but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was responsible for it.

She grabbed the armrest to try and calm the quaking in her fingers. She inched closer to the bed, leaning her cheek against the bed guards on the edge of it. Her eyes traced the lines of Mary's face, how peaceful she looked, despite being in a coma. She reached her hand over towards Mary's, and ran her thumb along the back. Thank God for small favors, it was still warm.

"Please, come back to me," Sonya whispered. She squeezed Mary's hand, trying to get a response. Nothing happened.

"Please, please, Mary, I-I'm sorry. I didn't know what would… If I'd… If I could have…"

She stopped, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes.

"I wouldn't have taken you, I-I promise, I'll never do it again, I-I just…"

She was on the verge of crying again.

"You can pick the place next time. I promise. All you. You'll come up with something nice…"

Her breath hitched.

"Please, come back to me…"

Pause.

"I love you…"

The only response was the steady beep, beep, beep-- of the heart monitor.

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