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lurafita · 6 years ago

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Obsession - Chapter 2

Again, to the people who don’t know how tags work, this is Starker. If you don’t like this pairing, then do not click on this story.

Thanks a lot to everyone who has liked, reblogged and reviewed the previous parts.

Which are here: Prolouge

and here: Chapter 1

Please inform me if you want to get tagged for the next part.

Tony is in a bit of denial in this chapter, which I have tried to indicate with this. If this striking through words makes it too hard to read for you, plese let me know, and I will try to think of something different. Though there aren’t too many sentences like it.

Obsession – Chapter 2

33 year old Pepper Potts was positively surprised, when her former boyfriend and current boss, dutifully read and then signed every paper she put in front of him.

After his little disappearing act the day before (something that happened quite frequently, if she were honest), she had expected him to be just as difficult as he normally was. Which wasn’t to say that Tony didn’t take his responsibilities seriously; but the genius had a rather extensive history of locking himself away in his personal lab, whenever company matters started to bore him. And since everything that didn’t directly involve his tech or other fields of his expertise usually bored him, Pepper really had her work cut out for her.

But today, Tony seemed to be in an exceptionally good mood, almost eager to get all the dreaded work done.

“Did something happen yesterday?” She asked, as he signed the contract before him with a flourish.

“Why do you ask, Pep?”

There was a chipper tone to his voice, that seemed fairly out of place considering he was doing paperwork.

“You just seem to be in a very good mood.”

Tony nodded, while reading through a proposal for a joined project with Hammer Industries. He was going to decline, of course, but it was always funny to see what Justin offered this time in hopes of enticing him into working together. Tony mentally scoffed. As if he would ever put his name on anything that amateur had had his hands on.

“I met someone.” Did it count as a meeting when Peter hadn’t even been aware of his presence? No matter, he still couldn’t contain the little smile at the thought of the brunette.

Pepper sighed. “Do I need to prepare the PR-Department for an upcoming sex video?”

Tony cringed. “Ouch. … Though, fair, I guess. But no. Don’t worry. We were fully clothed the whole time and all that happened was talking.” Peter had done all the talking, and if one wanted to get technical about it, it hadn’t been directed at Tony, but, whatever. Details.

He turned just in time to catch the surprised look on Pepper’s face, and grinned.

“Starting to believe my bad press, Miss Potts? Contrary to popular believe, I don’t sleep with everyone I meet.”

The strawberry blonde woman shook her head.

“I know that, Tony. It’s just… no, you are right. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself, though I’m still angry at you for just running off like you did. There is a reason we employ personal security guards.” She finished and pinned him with a penetrating expression. He just grinned wider at her.

“I know. This new batch is actually pretty good. What was the team leaders name again? Bates? Balm? Anyway, it took me a whole hour to distract him long enough for me to put on my Non-Important-Person disguise, for short: NIP-d, if you will, and get out of the tower. He even found me when I was halfway on my way back. Pretty impressive. Maybe we should give him a raise.”

Pepper just sighed in defeat. “Barnes, Tony. His name is James Barnes. Natasha personally recommended him for the job. And he was not impressed with that stunt you pulled to ‘distract’ him, by the way.”

Since Natasha’s job as head of security contained some 'extracurricular activities’, which often times took her to various locations, someone else needed to be in charge of the security in place not only at Stark Industries, but also to all of the people in higher positions and of course, Tony Stark himself. James Barnes had come highly recommended by Natasha, and if a woman who could kill you 27 different ways with a toothpick recommended someone to you, you didn’t ask questions and just fucking hired them.

Tony hummed in acknowledgment as he started on the last paragraph of the proposition. A few seconds went by in silence.

“It suits you, you know? Being happy. Are you planning on seeing them again?”

Hopeful anticipation filled him at the thought.

“I am.”

Then he grabbed Hammer’s proposal and handed it back to Pepper.

“Shredder this and send Justin a 'Better luck next time’ E-mail, would you? Anything else on the agenda for today?”

She accepted the papers and after a quick glance at her phone, shook her head.

“No, you are done for now. Wow, that was quick. Do I get to meet this person who apparently inspires you to actually do your work?”

She asked with a playful grin. Tony couldn’t help the smile that stole over his lips as he imagined introducing Peter to her. The younger man would be pressed into his side, with Tony’s arm around that narrow waist, and probably blushing.

“Sure. One day. If things go well and all.” He did need to introduce himself to Peter first, after all.

“I’m looking forward to it. Enjoy the rest of your day, Tony.”

And with those parting words, she left his office. He waited until he couldn’t hear the sounds of her heels clicking against the tiled floors anymore, before he addressed the room.

“Jarvis, commence project 'Baby Boy’. Let’s continue where we left off this morning.”

“Certainly, Sir.” Came the voice of the artificial intelligence Tony had created and installed not only in Stark Tower, but all of his other properties as well. “Also, I would like to inform you, that I have decided against reminding you that you haven’t slept ever since you started with your research, 22 hours and 18 minuets ago. Which makes it a total of 33 hours and 37 minutes that you have been awake. As previous instances have shown that trying to encourage you to keep a healthy sleeping schedule, have been ultimately futile efforts on my part, I will decline from further fruitless endeavors.”

Tony blinked in slight surprise. “Since when were you so passive-aggressive? You have been listening to Pepper too much. How about this then? We will give it another hour and 23 minutes, make it an even 35 hours without sleep, before I go and lie down like a good boy.”

The A.I. seemed to agree with his terms, as all around him, different holo screens popped up, all displaying various information about one Peter Benjamin Parker.

It had started smaller.

Innocent.

Only one screen, displaying Peter’s student credentials on Berkeley’s web page.

When Tony had made it back to his penthouse in the tower, after numerous promises and assurances that he would inform someone if he wanted to go for a stroll again, (all of which were lies, naturally) he had started with his research right away.

He had just wanted some facts, a point to start at. Full name, age, address, marital status. (It wouldn’t be completely unheard of for a college student to be married already, after all.) Peter wasn’t!

However, after he had gotten the answers to these most prominent questions, he had still felt… unsatisfied.

Just because Peter wasn’t married, didn’t mean that he wasn’t currently in a relationship. Though would it really matter if he was?

He had shaken his head then, thinking that he was getting way ahead of himself. He had only spent a little more than an hour in Peter’s presence, of which the other hadn’t even been aware of, and he was already contemplating how to deal with possible rivals? It was ludicrous!

Yes, the younger man was attractive (and smart, and empathetic, and insightful, and charming, and witty), but that didn’t mean that Tony wanted to start a relationship with him. (Oh, who was he kidding?)

Didn’t even mean he wanted to sleep with him. (No, really, who was he fucking kidding?)

So after this blessedly short mini meltdown, Tony decided that he needed to acquire more information to properly deal with his infatuation situation. And thus, Project Baby Boy was born.

After all the official records, it took no time at all for him to find Peter’s Facebook, Instagram and Tumblr accounts. Social media was a glorious thing. It made you bare some of your innermost, private thoughts and feelings to a world of strangers, without you ever realizing that you were doing it. Every post, every like, every picture and every comment the brunette made, slowly unveiled who Peter really was to Tony’s hungry eyes. As the hours had gone by, the genius billionaire found himself more and more enamored with the (single!) 24 year old. Between dorky science jokes, geeky Star Wars and other sci-fi posts, and a truly astounding amount of dog and cat pictures, Peter was revealing himself to be quite an intriguing individual.

He studied bio-chemistry as a main field, with a bit of bio-engineering and health and medical sciences on the side. There was a clear indication of the type of profession sweet Peter wanted to get into. Thinking back on the conversation in the diner, Tony wasn’t surprised. The younger man had been incredibly enthusiastic about the future of medicine and how he would one day be able to help people. It definitely explained why Tony Stark was only number 6 on Peter’s tumblr list of ‘The 10 greatest scientists alive today’. Since Peter was more into the squishy sciences (Tony wasn’t squeamish - he had had someone else’s blood on his person far too often for such sensitivities - but he preferred a circuit board and wires over organs and skin tissue any day), it made sense that the billionaire, genius mechanic Tony Stark, wasn’t on the top his list. (Still a bit of a blow to the ego, though) At least Peter had placed him before that insufferable ass, Reed Richards!

(And hey, it was a ranking based on corresponding interest in scientific avenues. Tony would soon be in the first and only place of ‘Scientist who regularly rocks my world’)

He was also a bit of a hobby photographer, it seemed, as Peter had uploaded many photos taken of friends, animals, sunsets, buildings and plants. Sometimes a photo would showcase a particular play with lighting and shadows, other times special camera filters would highlight different focus points in a picture. Tony may not be a great artisan, but he could appreciate talent.

He also found a short video clip in which one of Peter’s friends (the internet handle was ‘guy-in-the-chair’) had filmed Peter’s, frankly adorable, reaction to being served some monstrously sugary kind of dessert. The video’s caption had read 'Orgasm by Marshmallow stuffed chocolate Cupcake’, and to the inventors utter delight, it included 11 seconds of Peter taking his first bite and actually looking like he was having a tiny orgasm right then and there. Complete with eyes widening before rolling back into his head, and a moan that couldn’t be described as anything else but sinful. (Tony might have re-watched those 11 seconds more times than he cared to admit, while imagining the younger man lying naked and stretched out underneath him, on the silken sheets of Tony’s bed, moaning for a very different reason.)

He found only a few other video’s similar to this. Apparently Peter had a major sweet tooth – which Tony could think of various ways to exploit – and his friend had obviously thought it great fun to film him eating things that would send any diabetic into an early grave.

He had Jarvis save every one of those videos into a private folder, for his personal viewing pleasure. (Oh, and what a pleasure it was. Though the cupcake video was definitely his favorite, the one in which his darling Peter all but went down on a deep fried Mars bar, was a very close second.)

While Tony certainly would have liked to add even more to his collection, he was grateful that only a handful of such videos existed.

He didn’t like the thought of others seeing his Peter like this.

While most of the comments beneath the videos were obviously from friends and acquaintances, who either teased the brunette about his sweet tooth, or commented on the foods themselves, others had been… less PG.

Other people shouldn’t get to think about him like that.

Thinking back on it now, Tony contemplated if maybe he should take the videos down himself. He had already saved away his own copies of them.

Keep him them to myself.

Maybe later.

Right now he wanted to keep going, there was still so much to learn about the cute college student.

Tony knew that life hadn’t been very kind to Peter. He had been orphaned at six, mother and father dying in a plane crash. Taken in by his aunt and uncle, May and Ben Parker. Seven years later, Ben Parker had been shot in a robbery gone wrong, and if the police report that Tony had hacked was to be believed, Peter had been an eyewitness to the murder.

It was humbling in a way, to think that someone who had been forced to endure so much trauma at a young age already, could grow into the bright 24 year old man that the genius had met just yesterday.

Jarvis had also pulled some older records, that showed that the two remaining Parkers had been left in quite a lot of debt after Ben’s passing. (Well, Tony assumed the amount of debt was a lot for regular people. His bed had actually cost more than the number presented to him.)

May Parker, Peter’s aunt, was a nurse in Queens General Hospital. (Which could have possibly inspired the boy’s chosen field of study) Peter had taken on two part time jobs as soon as he was out of highschool – which Tony concluded were used to help pay the bills, since he was a scholarship student at Berkeley and still lived with his aunt.

“Jarvis, run a calculation. Considering the regular costs of rent and other living expenses, how long will it take the Parkers to pay back what they owe?”

“Keeping in mind the expected rise in interest rates, taxes and insurance, it will approximately take May and Peter Parker 31 years to eradicate their debt. This number is likely to change if Mr. Parker pursues a higher paying profession after finishing his education.”

Tony nodded thoughtfully.

“Still, that’s not for a few more years yet, especially if Peter wants to go for a Master and Doctor degree after he has finished with his Bachelor.”

This could work in his favor.

While Tony loathed people who wanted to use him only for his money, he liked to spend it on the ones he cared about.

Liked taking care of those who deserved it.

He let his gaze be caught by one particular screen, that displayed a photo of Peter Jarvis had pulled from the younger’s Instagram. In it Peter was outside, the sun shining brightly above him, in only a loose t-shirt and cut off jeans. A black cat was cradled in his arms, and he was smiling brightly at the camera. Tony re-read the text underneath the picture. 'This gorgeous lady decided to join Ned and I on our walk to A heart has four paws shelter today.’ (Because despite his two jobs and being a scholarship student at one of the tier universities in this country, Peter still made the time to volunteer at an animal shelter. Tony was starting to worry if the precious boy even slept anymore)

Peter most certainly deserved to have someone take care of him.

“You have received a text message from Miss Romanoff, Sir.” Jarvis voice interrupted his thoughts jarringly.

“What’s it say, J?” He didn’t think she had encountered any problems with her mission.

“It states ‘Mission accomplished. On my way back.’, Sir. Do you wish to give her any further instructions`?”

“No. Tell her good job and to treat herself to some sight seeing if she likes. Not every day one get’s to visit Rome. Well, unless you are me, of course.”

“Of course, Sir.”

Would Peter like to go to Rome? It was said to be one of the most romantic cities in the world, wasn’t it? Maybe keep that in mind for a second date.

“It has now been 35 hours since you last slept. As per your own-”

“Yes, yes, I know. Stop yapping at me, J.” He threw his hands up in surrender. “Save everything we have so far into my private folder. Separate the videos and photos of Peter into their own. Also, make sure I have some free time tomorrow when Peter is on his way back home from that restaurant he works at. I plan on running into him, completely coincidentally, of course.”

“Of course, Sir.”

For the first time in a long time, the idea of sleeping didn’t seem like a necessary inconvenience. He was looking forward to what his imagination could come up with, after those videos.

What sweet dreams he was about to have.

The next morning, the news were overflowing with reports of Norman Osborns demise. The business man had been on vacation in Rome, and suffered a fatal heart attack. He had apparently mixed up his medication. It was a tragic accident.

tbc..

@itfeelssogoodmrstark @starkravingspiders @spadestorm696 @diamondheart31 @the-neon-demon @unknownshadyperson

#starker #peter parker #fanfic #obsession #dark!tony #possessive!tony #tony stark #op lurafita

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migleefulmoments · 6 years ago

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Leka-isms #1

Damn, Leka posted a completely nonsensical smattering of thoughts and I set her straight.

anonymous asked:( turned out to be chrisdare who went anon for unknown reasons))

I didn't know Pricky had removed all his LGBT roles from the management website. Went to check. It's absurd! Be/cca has her Gl/ee pictures there but D? He has one from that movie fiasco, from his grooming brand, then music stuff. He is an actor FGS! Why are not his roles in Gl/ee, Hed/wig, ACS mentioned? And nothing to do with the fact Pricky got him those roles or not. He has pictures of Ev/ana's role in HP but he never got her that role. It tots looks as if they were ASHAMED of his LGBT roles.

leka-1998 answered:

You’re right, not actually contributing anything useful or doing his job properly/at all has never stopped RR from praising himself (This is Ricky’s company website where he is selling his services you twit. It isn’t a Darren advertising website. It is what Hyphenate Creative can offer a performer looking for a manager. It isn’t Darren’s social media PR site- it’s Ricky’s company website...say it slowly “It’s Ricky’s company website listing his services”). I mean he’s a busy man, posting pics of himself jumping for all his imaginary fans (Now you are talking about Ricky’s personal Instagram page. It is a standard social media site used for sharing one’s interests, taking selfies, pics of the kids and connecting with family and friends and other people who share your interests. If you can’t stand how he runs his personal social media, stop following it but don’t criticize him for not giving YOU the CONTENT YOU WANT to see. The way social media works is you follow people who you are interested in seeing what they are sharing. You don’t demand someone post what you want to see. Your fandom constantly bitches about your right to say horrible things on YOUR personal blogs so at least give Ricky the same curtesy you demand). Remember the IG story he posted of D with a 🎩 and a mustache at the T/ony’s? Hilarious.(WTF- What?) D’s queer roles were amazing and very important in his career, so why remove them? (Because it isn’t a retrospective of Darren’s work. It is a page where Ricky lists the services he provides to his clients. “Darren played a great queer” isn’t one of the services Ricky offers.) The things they do are a continual slap in the face of the LGBTQ community (No, actually the nonsense coming continually you, Abby, Cassie, Flowers, and Chrisdare promote is a continual slap in the face of the LGBTQ community. Screaming about what you imagine must be upsetting to the LGBTQ community is problematic AF). Hurting him in every way possible is what they’re focusing on (Hyphenate-Creative.com is basically Ricky’s resume. it isn’t Darren’s emotional support system, Darren’s resume, Darren’s wikipedia page, or Darren’s anything).

The recent reminder of the announcement that was originally made after having won an E/mmy and while being in the running for more awards. Yes, he won anyway but that was just shitty (So you’re mad that Ricky isn’t taking credit for winning Darren’s awards? I don’t understand you). And now the new show, which looks great but you get the issue (No actually I don’t. This entire argument reeks of the logic of a child who has no idea of what she is speaking).. Playing gay for pay (You're using this as a red herring- Darren isn’t playing gay for pay. He’s playing straight for rate right along side a gay actor playing a gay character-just like you have all screamed it should be. Just yesterday you claimed you were all “disgusted” that gay actors couldn’t be out and still be hired. Now you are angry that straight Darren isn’t playing gay for pay? I don’t understand your logic). CG music and fan club-(This has nothing to do with Ricky...did you just morph this into a “Leka’s grievance on behalf of Darren” post? Darren and CG have a different company for their promotion-it isn’t Ricky) . The video with SA. Once again making him out to be a man whore (You’re an idiot. CDCN isn’t taking info from his team. They are making it up OR they are taking info from ccers. Besides you make him out to be a spineless, powerless cuck- whose to say which is worse?). Remember EF? October 5. Just so we’re clear, 2019, not 2020 (I continue to be baffled how this isn’t Darren’s fault. You’re scapegoating is amazing. If it is Darren’s baby then how is he not responsible? Besides dear Leka, I will be super shocked if you have a ticket to Elsie. You don’t live anywhere near here. So you are telling me you are upset because you are coming to America? Or is it just bitching or the sake of bitching. Also- Elsie lineup has nothing to do with Ricky’s website- stay on topic).

Lots of weird things happening here (Nope, only weird because they don’t fit your cc tropes. Believe that Darren is busy, he’s working on his own show, Royalties which means a lot to him and he’s married to Mia and loving it and everything makes perfect sense. It is only your need to erase reality that makes it all “weird things”).

Ajw720

If people are questioning, at this point, they are being stupid. There are so many red flags and the H/ollywood thing, whether his character is gay or straight, is adding to them because from the press release it appears the PRIMARY theme of the show is LGBT issues.

I’m going to hit Abby’s comments in an Abby-ism.

#cc #ccer #cc fandom #darren criss #crisscolfer #cc nonsense #Leka-ism #debunking cc lies

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newstfionline · 7 years ago

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In the Philippines, divided politics, divided web

Jessica Mendoza, CS Monitor, April 9, 2018

MANILA--Mocha Uson sweeps into her office at the presidential compound, assistant at her booted heels. She’s late, rushing in from another engagement that ran longer than planned. But she appears composed, almost reserved, as she arranges herself on a faux-leather settee and waits for the interview to begin.

In this setting it’s hard to picture Esther Margaux Uson, known countrywide as “Mocha,” sashaying across a stage in vinyl hot pants or dispensing advice on sex and relationships. Yet for the better part of a decade, provocative entertainment was the core of her career--first fronting for the Mocha Girls, an all-female music group known for racy numbers, and later responding to intimate reader questions via a series of written and video blogs.

Then in 2015, she learned about Rodrigo Duterte.

“He was different from traditional politicians. And at the time … there weren’t any well-known personalities who publicly supported him,” Ms. Uson says in a mix of English and Tagalog. “So I said, ‘I have to make a stand.’”

Through the first few months of 2016, she stunned the Philippine political world by converting the Mocha Uson Blog to an online rallying point for supporters of President Duterte. Its transformation was in some ways the singular product of a nation that regularly elects celebrities into government and ranks first in the world in social media use.

Her ascent, however, also reflects an evolving global political landscape, where information is democratized and every opinion has the opportunity to find a platform. Citizens can directly hold institutions like media and government accountable, while the latter can respond to their constituents sans mediator. Given reach and charisma, anybody with a voice--sex symbols, high-school students, TV comedians, real-estate moguls--can scale the heights of political influence and authority.

The price is often decreased civility, and consensus, say experts. Tribal lines are quickly drawn and held, and fact becomes flightier, hard to pin down and easy to manipulate. The social-media savvy--both individual and corporate--possess more power than ever to shape the tone, trajectory, and themes of political discourse.

Few countries today epitomize this new reality as clearly as the Philippines, the social-media capital of the world, with a norm-breaking president whose campaign supporters harnessed this shifting online landscape to win the election. And few individuals embody it as clearly as Uson. As the 2016 campaign season picked up steam, her name became inseparable from the Duterte lobby, drawing animosity and acclaim in near-equal measure from Filipinos at home and abroad. Her Facebook base has since ballooned from 2.5 million to more than 5 million--a figure that remains unrivaled even by the head of state she serves. In May 2017, after a brief stint with the government’s entertainment regulation board, she was named assistant secretary at the Presidential Communications Operations Office.

Uson shrugs when confronted with her apparent success. “The journey has been colorful and exciting. And I have a sense of fulfillment,” she says. But to her, much of the road thus far seems inevitable. Her feelings about Duterte’s candidacy compelled her to speak out on his behalf, she says, and she felt just as obliged to use Facebook to do so. Because what better way to spread an idea than on a platform that boasts up to 67 million users in the Philippines?

“Everything is on social media,” Uson says. “We can’t avoid the fact that it’s the direction information dissemination is going.”

Experts around the world have been making similar pronouncements since at least 2008, when Barack Obama became among the first politicians to leverage social networks to get out the vote. Less than three years later, the Arab Spring--the series of revolutionary protests that, thanks to Twitter, swept across Tunisia, Egypt, and the Middle East--became, briefly, a symbol of social media’s potential to reinvigorate democracy.

Today about 2.6 billion people use social media worldwide, up from fewer than a billion in 2010. From India to Sudan, the US to the U.K., social media--and the very public web of information and misinformation it weaves--has helped elect leaders, birth movements, crush rebellions, and intensify divides.

Mr. Duterte’s election proved to be the watershed moment for social media and politics in the Philippines. Leading up to 2016, frustration with political leadership after decades of what was widely perceived as weak and corrupt government coincided with a rise in affordable mobile data plans. Filipinos yearning for political change had better access than ever to the online political sphere.

“It made it so much cheaper to engage with each other,” says Tony La Viña, former dean of the School of Government at Ateneo de Manila University. “People felt very liberated to be able to participate in debates, to have [their] opinions disseminated.”

For those who understood the social media space, it also meant new opportunities to amass both profit and political capital. Bloggers like Uson--”influencers,” in public relations parlance--rose to prominence, becoming the most powerful voices for those who had felt excluded from public discourse. Indeed, much of the success of social media in Philippine politics has pivoted on the perception that it is the unvarnished and authentic alternative to traditional media: the newspapers, television and radio stations, and online news sites that Duterte supporters say all but ignored the president’s campaign and continue to smear his administration with negative stories.

“It was the erosion of trust in mainstream [news outlets]. People were looking for an alternative voice,” says pro-Duterte blogger Rey Joseph Nieto, also known as “Thinking Pinoy” (a Tagalog slang term for Filipino). “They found me, [blogger] Sass [Rogando Sasot], and Mocha--for better or for worse.”

“Fake news” is a constant preoccupation of bloggers on the other end of the political spectrum, as well. But their goal is to support, not subvert, traditional media.

“Most of my posts are about debunking false propaganda and calling out the shortcomings of government officials,” says Jover Laurio, whose Pinoy Ako Blog (“I am Filipino”) drew attention for its cutting letters addressed to the administration and its allies.

“And to stop the killing,” she adds, referring to the president’s violent antidrug campaign. “Every time I write a letter, I pray that they read it.”

Less conspicuous than the blogger cohort are the PR and marketing firms who manage politicians’ social media campaigns. A report released earlier this year explored the extent to which such firms, and the strategists who run them, have developed a blueprint for manipulating political opinion in the Philippines via social media. Using the techniques of corporate marketing, these “architects of networked disinformation” hire teams of “digital influencers” to push a particular message on Facebook comment sections and Twitter feeds. The campaigns, which can involve seeding revisionist history or hijacking attention through artificial hashtags, are motivated largely by profit, according to the report.

“The thing about social media is, its incentive structures are about visibility,” says Jonathan Corpus Ong, co-author of the report and associate professor of global digital media at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst. “What comes up on our news feed is the one that is more popular and is most liked. There are ways in which these algorithms can be gamed and manipulated. That’s made it easy for particular operators to weaponize [it] for politics.”

The effects of all this on the Philippine political space have been far-reaching--and familiar, to audiences following social media’s effects in the West. Online vitriol is at an all-time high. Trust in traditional media outlets is at an equivalent low, with Filipino webizens saying they trust social media more than mainstream publications.

And there’s the sense that, especially on social media, there exist two realities. In one, the Philippines is a place of fear and chaos, where innocents are gunned down in the streets and a foul-mouthed despot encourages ruthless justice against those who defy him. In the other, the country is just beginning to ascend to economic heights and international prestige through the ministrations of a strong, if somewhat vulgar, leader willing to do what needs to be done.

#Philippines #social media in the Philippines #Esther Margaux Uson #Rodrigo Duterte

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blueberrytater · 8 years ago

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first

Chapter 1: first you get close, then you get worried…

can’t believe I actually finished a chapter of a fic and i’m posting it?? amazing, huge shoutout to @kentvparsin for reading this over & not blocking me after the millions of texts i sent them

title is from “first” by the Cold War Kids

disclaimer: all emails & numbers in this fic were completely made up by me

read on ao3 here!

When Alexei’s roommate moves out to live with his girlfriend, he quickly finds out that he can’t afford is apartment by himself for very long. So, when he puts an ad out in the paper, his highest expectations are a roommate that leaves him with a messy home but still pays rent on time. What he gets is Kent Parson. Kent emailed him about his ad almost right as he posted it. Now, Alexei isn’t dumb, he likes hockey and he watches it often. He lives in Providence, for god sakes, if he wasn’t into hockey, he’d be run out of town. He heard about Kent’s injury when he was watching ESPN after work one night, he didn’t watch the Aces game the night before but they kept playing replays of Kent’s injury over and over again. Kent though, was back on the ice within a few weeks and Aces management and Kent himself assured everyone that he was fine to play. Then, one night during a Aces v. Kings game, Kent just collapsed on the ice. No one was around him, he was barely on the ice for a minute at the start of the second period. The refs blew the whistle, players and staff rushed over to him. Alexei was on the edge of his seat, waiting to see if Parson got up by himself. With the help of players and trainers, Kent eventually was able to stand up, even if he was using Troy for support the whole time off the ice. It was announced a few weeks later through Aces PR that Kent would be retiring due to an injury. Even though Alexei was never a big Aces fan, he was still crushed for the team and Kent. After the announcement, there was radio silence from Kent on all of his social media, even his cat’s instagram. So when Kent emailed him about his apartment, Alexei was surprised to say the least, mainly because the email he received did not sound like how he thought Kent would:

Kent Parson < [email protected] >

to me:

Alexei-

I saw your ad about needing a roommate. I’m clean, wouldn’t be in your way or anything. I’m capable of giving you rent money for months well in advance. I need a place to stay to try and get back on my feet. I do have a cat, though, so if that is a problem, please let me know. Please contact me by either email or phone, either is fine by me.

Thanks,

Kent Parson

598-2679

[email protected]

Alexei read the email over and over again, he thought that maybe it was a prank, but then again why would it be? It would be a weird prank to pull on someone who has no connection to Parson at all. After a few minutes of thinking, he decided to email back.:

Alexei Mashkov < [email protected] >

to Kent Parson:

Hello Kent!

The cat is no problem, I’m not allergic but is smaller apartment so she might not have a lot of room to run around ((, but if that is no problem, then we can meetup to talk about rent and moving in!

Have good day! ))

Alexei

After sending the email, he debated taking down the ad, but decided to leave it up incase this was just some person messing with others. He closed the tab that had his email open so he wasn’t tempted to keep refreshing it as he was waiting for a response. He opened his school email instead, he had a few parents to email about their students performance in class and decided to get the drafts done now so he can send them out on Monday. Even though many friends and family thought his choice to move to America and become a high school teacher, of all things, was silly and stupid, he still did it. As soon as he got his degree, he moved out to America and got his teaching certificate at the first university that would let him. Alexei moved from state to state, trying to find a high school that would hire him. He eventually found a job at a high school in Providence that would pay him a decent amount for being a first time teacher. He loved teaching and he loved teaching history to his students, he loved when they got interested and asked questions. He loved his job even when he had problem students, like Jeremy from his fifth period class, he never paid attention or handed in his homework. The email he was typing out would be the third one to his parents, this time he’s hoping that they can get together for a parent-teacher conference. Alexei sighed, he finished his emails up pretty quickly, he was lucky that he didn’t have too many problem students. He shut his laptop and stretched, he looked over at the pile of ungraded papers from his senior history class and groaned, he really did not want to touch those yet. He was saved when his phone rang and was able to talk to his mother for a little.

Once he was off the phone, it was nearing late-lunch time, he talked to his mother for longer than he thought but it felt good to talk to her again. Deciding he can’t grade on a empty stomach, he gathers the ingredients for his lunch. As Alexei let his food cook, he checked his phone, scrolling through all his social media. He checked his email too and found a reply from Kent in his inbox:

Kent Parson <[email protected]>

to me:

Alexei-

My cat will be fine, she’s older so she doesn’t run as much as she used to and if she wants to, she’ll find a way. Want to meet up at Bittle’s Bakery on fourth street around 3:30pm? Sorry it’s such short notice, I can work around your schedule.

Let me know,

Kent

Alexei flicks his eyes up to the time on his phone, it was almost two now and Kent sent the email around noon. He quickly typed a reply and hit send:

Alexei Mashkov <[email protected]>

to Kent Parson:

Yes! Works for me, here is my number so we can message faster ))

325-2498

See you soon!

Alexei

He finishes up what was cooking of his lunch and packs it up, he figures he can eat it at another time. He freshens up and changes, Bittle’s Bakery was in center city and would take Alexei about fifteen minutes to walk there, he would drive but it’s a weekend and Alexei would like to save himself some frustration. He tries to clean up the apartment before he leaves, incase Kent wants to come back and see it in person. Alexei gets distracted in cleaning that he doesn’t realize that it’s almost 3:20 and he’s rushing out the door.

It’s about 3:35 by the time he gets to the bakery, he checks his phone seeing that Kent texted him four minutes ago, telling him where he’s sitting. He scans the bakery, it’s pretty crowded, but Alexei was able to spot Kent sitting in the back towards the kitchen and Alexei rushes over to him.

“Hello, sorry I’m late, got distracted cleaning and not realize time. I’m Alexei.” He sits down in the chair across from Kent, giving him a soft smile.

Kent gives him a small smile back, “It’s alright, man. I’m Kent, nice to meet you.” Kent fiddles with his phone in his hand, spinning it and flipping it around different ways while looking around the bakery, like he’s waiting for someone to pop out.

Alexei doesn’t mention it. “So with splitting rent, it will be seven-hundred and fifty each month, is that okay? I’m pay directly to landlord so you give me the money each month.”

Kent nods, “Yeah, that’s fine, what do I have to sign?”

Alexei gives Kent the run down on the forms and things he’ll have to send to the landlord of his apartment. “Do you want to see apartment? Is not far from here.”

Kent shook his head, “Nah it’s alright, you seem like a cool guy and I doubt it’s gross. I got the idea from the pictures you had.” Alexei wasn’t going to argue with him, so he gave Kent the landlord’s name and email. Before he left, he told Kent to call him if he needed help and when he got everything settled. Kent said his thanks and smiled as Alexei left.

About a week later, Kent was moving in the last of his stuff into the apartment. It was a little crazy moving him, since the first thing he did was move his cat in, making sure she was comfortable. Kent didn’t have as much stuff as Alexei thought he would, he had his own mattress and furniture but not many personal items, he figured he would have more being Kent Parson, but Alexei realized you can’t judge someone based off how they appear in the media.

The first night Kent is officially moved in and settled, Alexei tries to make him feel welcome. He asked him if he wanted to get take out with him and watch a movie, but Kent declined, saying he was tired and still had more boxes to unpack in his room. Alexei smiled and told him if he needed help to come get him. Kent retreated to his new room in response, Kit following him and Kent closed the door once Kit was in.

Alexei got take out for himself and graded papers while he ate, he was worried about Kent but it wasn’t his place to, maybe Kent had just wanted to be roommates and didn’t want to be friends with Alexei. His worrying didn’t stop when he was getting ready for bed and heard Kent on the phone, obviously upset and crying to whoever he was on the phone with. Alexei tried to keep to himself and not worry, but it was hard when the next morning, Kent looked like he never went to bed and just gave Alexei a weak smile as he passed his room when he went to the bathroom.

Alexei tried not to worry, but he’s never been very good at it.

#patater #alexei mashkov #kent parson #angst //#but it will eventually be happy!!#eventually #erika writes #first

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creativitytoexplore · 4 years ago

Photo

[SF][HM] You Can Choose Your Friends, But You Can't Choose Your Post-Apocalyptic Overlord https://ift.tt/34Kya2C

Of all the aspects of life after the apocalypse, it’s the lack of social etiquette which irks George the most.

“The neighbours are at it again.” He says from his position, peering between the boarded windows of their ramshackle dwelling. Said in a tone so deliberate as to be the conversational equivalent of a worm on a hook.

A deep, obvious sigh exhales behind him. The sigh a person emits after having had such a conversational worm dangled in front of them for the hundredth time that hour, when they hate worms, but the worm is dangled, anyway.

“I hadn’t noticed.” Dinkler says in such a nonchalant manner as to be the conversational equivalent of taking the worm and stamping on it. Of all the aspects of life after the apocalypse, he finds most bearable. Food may be scarce, but messing with George gives him some form of nourishment.

“Not noticed! The gang of crazy bastards we hide from every day is at this very moment hunting some poor saps down. And they aren’t doing it quietly. It’s like a Tory Party Conference out there.”

“Calling them crazy bastards isn’t very neighbourly. But, how’s dinner coming along?”

“They’re the ones that go about calling themselves ‘Crazy Dave and the Swinging Dicks’! If you don’t want to be called crazy, then don’t give call yourself it and go about eating people. It’s not rocket science.”

“True.” Dinkler says, losing impetus on his George-baiting. His hunger pangs taking precedence. “Have you started dinner?”

“It’s shocking behaviour,” George responds, oblivious to Dinkler’s questioning. “Needs someone to shake things up. Get the world back on track.”

Another sigh seeps from Dinkler and fills the room like a disgruntled miasma. “Oh,” he says monotone, remembering the correct response to get the conversation moving and have any chance of consuming food within the next 5 hours. “If only there was someone we could turn to?”

“Well,” George says, turning away from the window to join Dinkler by the fire. “Funny you should say that.”

“We’re not having dinner, are we?”

“But, I’ve always felt that there’s some unfinished business between politics and myself.”

Dinkler scours his vicinity for anything to eat to ease the boredom of the impending monologue, but finds only a twig. He chews said twig.

“The war coming when it did put the kibosh on my political career.”

“Well, that and the fact that everyone hated you.”

“I was misunderstood. That’s why I put that election video together, to help get some good PR. Although that ended up backfiring.”

“Yeah. When the person you hire’s only previous experience is doing propaganda videos for I.S. it rarely goes down well.”

“He was cheap and had his own equipment. How was I supposed to know?”

“The fact he got you to do it in an orange jumpsuit was a bit of a red flag. That and the hate speech.”

“In retrospect you are correct, but creative types are strange. I thought he was being ironic.”

“I bet you still provided catering.” Dinkler says, nodding towards the empty cooking pot next to the fire.

“I could have been Prime Minister by now,” George says, looking into the distance. “Or World President. Something good like that. Something big enough where people drop everything when they know I’m coming because they want to impress me. Red carpets are rolled out. Everyone bows and curtsies. They want to shake my hand, but are cautious. They know I’m a mega great guy, but know I don’t take any shit and come down hard on bad guys.”

George takes a breath. “That’s great,” Dinkler interjects. “How’s about you whip us something up and we discuss it more over dinner?”

“Dinner? Well, I’m sorry to be the one to piss on your chips Dinkler,”

“Don’t mention chips. I’d kill for chips.”

“But what you see is what we’ve got,” he says, gesturing to the distinct lack of anything consumable in their abode. “And that amounts to fuck all. I’ve been waiting for the crazy gang to go to sleep so that we can sneak out.”

“Those bastards. They ruin everything.”

“Who isn’t being neighbourly now?” George says, settling back in his chair.

From outside, a chorus of screams pierces the air. Scrambling to the slats, they press themselves against any accessible gap to glimpse what’s happening.

“Looks like it’s all kicking off over there now.” George says. “Where did they get that string of sausages from?”

“They’re not sausages.”

Confused, George ponders this. Realisation dawns like a creeping glacier.

“Oh, that’s horrendous,” he says, shaking off the disgust. “Still, they’re giving it a good go.”

“Indeed. Cannibals get called a lot of things, but the one thing you can say is that they’re not fussy eaters.”

Transfixed, they watch the events unfold.

“All done! They made light work of that.” George says, stepping across the room and pulling two hessian sacks from under their meagre possessions.

“Say what you want about cannibals, but they know how to work as a team.”

“By my reckoning we should have about 15 minutes until the meat sweats kick in and they fall asleep.”

“Either that or the inevitable seizure stemming from a diet based almost solely upon the consumption of human flesh kicks in.”

“You ready?”

“Shopping time!” they say in unison before high-fiving and scampering outside.

“I’m not saying that what you did was wrong,” Dinkler says as he and George squeeze back into the shack, shopping bags in tow. “It’s just I wish you’d been more careful with it. It was food after all.”

“I hear what you’re saying,” George responds, letting his bags drop to floor and slumping in his chair, before stoking the fire to encourage the flames to stand up once more. “But, when I’m being chased by a pack of crazed, mutated dogs because they want the rat I’ve got. I’m going to drop it every time.”

“You didn’t drop it though.” Dinkler says, joining George by the fire. “You screamed and flung it as far as you could.”

“It was a calculated risk. Only a fool would concern themselves with silver,” he says with a knowing wink, patting his shopping bag. “When they’re sitting on gold.”

“Ooooo, now you’re talking! Come on, put me out of my misery. What you got?”

“Well,” George says, delving deep into the bag. “If there’s one thing I know you’ve been desperate for...” A moment hangs as he gropes for the item. It’s only momentary, but lasts an age. Dinkler on the edge of his seat. “… it’s pot pouri.”

George pulls out a handful of what appear to be wood chippings and passes them to Dinkler, who regards them, aghast.

“Pot pouri?”

“You’re welcome.”

“But, they’re just wood chippings,” Dinkler says, before giving them a sniff and recoiling. “Correction. Wood chippings covered in rat urine. That can’t be all you’ve got?”

Reeling, Dinkler ponders the chippings, only to notice a mischievous grin arching from the corner of George’s mouth.

“Ha! Very good. You got me there.”

“You know me, always keeping you guessing.”

“Top one. Excellent. So, what have you got?”

“I know you’re crazy about this stuff.” George turns his bag upside down and empties a bag’s worth of chippings onto the floor.

“What the…? You collected an entire bags worth of piss-soaked wood chippings and threw away the only food. Why would you do this?”

“You’re always complaining about the smell. I thought it would help.” George says, trying not to appear hurt.

“I think I’ve mentioned the smell once in the last 5 years. I’ve moaned about being hungry every day. Yet, I don’t see you trying to start a chicken farm.”

“If what I’ve got is so rubbish, what have you got that’s so great.”

“Stand by,” Dinkler says, reaching into his bag. “I’ve got this.” He says, brandishing a severed hand.

“Why on earth have you got someone’s hand?”

“I thought it may come in useful if we ever come across some super-secret military bunker. They always have those scanners that need a hand print to let you in. If we ever find one, we pop this hand in and Hey, Presto! We’re in.”

“Other than they build those machines to recognise the hand prints of the people that worked there, that’s a perfect plan! Although did you not think that if it would work on some random severed hand, the functioning live ones you have at the end of your wrists would do?”

“Everything’s obvious when it’s pointed out to you, Einstein.”

“What else you got in there? A head to do the talking? A leg to help us run faster?”

“No. But, I’ve got this.” Dinkler says and pulls out a cigarette lighter. “You know, to help us with the fire and stuff.”

Impressed, George leans over to take it. He turns it over in his hands, inspecting it before striking the spark wheel. Nothing happens.

“It’s empty?”

“Yeah. But if we ever find any lighter fuel, then we can just fill it up.”

Rubbing his hands down his face, George sighs. “Anything else?”

“Just these,” Dinkler takes a stack of old, crumpled magazines and hands them to George.

“Well. Isn’t this just great! Another washout! How are we supposed to eat any of these?”

Dinkler shrugs. “Why don’t you ask that rat you threw away?”

“Well, I’m going to the privy. And when I come back, I want to know what you’re doing about the food.” George says, stepping away from the fire. Only to step back, grab a magazine and stride outside.

Squatting over a hole in the ground in the darkness, muttering to himself, George leafs through a battered copy of ‘The Stage’ magazine. Turning the crumpled pages, he skims the content. Until something catches his eye.

“Dinkler!” he shouts. “Come here!”

“You can wipe yourself tonight.” George hears through the thin wall.

Pulling his trousers up, he hurries inside. “Not that, you buffoon. You need to see this.”

Dropping the magazine in Dinkler’s lap, he points to an article. “There, look at that.”

“It’s a review of ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’? 3 out of 5 stars. Seems a tad under rated given the quality of the material, but if you’re that concerned about it then just write over it. Everyone involved is most likely dead.”

“No, you moron. Look at the picture. The guy playing Frank-N-Furter.” He says, jabbing his finger at the picture.

Dinkler absorbs the image. Although disguised by the garish make-up, he recognises the individual.

“Crazy Dave! It can’t be.”

“That’s what I thought. But, read the article.”

Skimming the text, Dinkler searches for correct passage. “Here it is,” he says. “‘Newcomer David Rudkin leads the stellar cast.’” Leaning back in his chair, he laughs. “Just goes to show you never know!”

“You know what this means, though?” George says, snatching the magazine back.

“You want him to help set up some amateur dramatics?”

“No. This,” he says, brandishing the magazine. “Is dynamite. It’s political gold dust.”

Regarding George’s face, Dinkler tries to establish if his gut instinct is correct. “You’re not suggesting…”

“… Yes! We blackmail the bastard! Look in political circles there’s a strategy that if you want to get someone, you attack them on their strengths, not their weaknesses. Thus removing whatever potential power they may have had.”

“I’m sure that worked well with the privately educated offspring of hedge fund managers and diplomats. But, we’re talking about actual cannibalistic killers. Even if we got close enough to blackmail him, what would we even ask for?”

“Whatever we wanted! We’d say we’d keep his secret safe as long as we could go about our business and survive!”

“It’s crazy. There’s no point even trying. They’d kill us as soon as we get within 10 feet.”

“Think about it though.” George says, pulling closer. “Think about the freedom. Think about being able to walk out during the day with only the fear of being attacked by mutated, crazed wolves. Rather than mutated, crazed wolves AND homicidal cannibals. And think about the food we may get.”

Dinkler stops. His interest piqued. “Go on.”

“Well. If we can ask for anything, we could just ask for food. Or for them to not kill us whilst we’re looking for food.”

“We could get food?”

“Of course. Even scraps off their table are better than what we have now. But, if we pitch this right then we could get way more.”

“And you think we could do this?”

“Politics I know,” George says, patting his friend on the shoulder. “And I know this is going to work.”

The campsite is quiet. Eerily so.

“Where is everyone? And everything?” Dinkler whispers as they tip toe over the threshold.

Despite being home to a rampaging hoard, there are few signs of life. A few fading campfires. Bare, hardened patches of ground from where people have slept. But little else.

“I don’t know. Perhaps whilst being murderous they also espouse a cleanliness ethos. I guess it’s admirable.”

“I guess.”

They push on. Tip-toeing the whole way.

“I wonder if he’s going to be the kind of weirdo that only refers to themselves in the 3rd person. The kind that’s all: ‘Crazy Dave does not like this’, and ‘Crazy Dave approves of this’. Or, if he’s going to be the kind that’s camp and give eloquent, but violent speeches whilst twirling his moustache.”

“The fact this guy was in musical theatre, I would stump for the latter.”

They continue on. Clinging to one another as they step through the darkness. But the place is deserted.

“What do we do then?” Dinkler asks. “Leave a note?”

George shrugs. “I guess. But, who do we address it to? Dave? David? Mr Crazy?”

From within the darkness, there’s a chuckle. A chuckle that turns into a cackle. Then the night erupts with the sound of manic laughter.

Terrified, they try to flee, but a figure emerges from the gloom, cutting off their escape. Wearing a necklace of human teeth, his eyes wild, big hair and mouth crimson with blood, Crazy Dave resembles a cannibal from a Hanna-Barbera cartoon passed through a Spandau Ballet filter.

“Whom dares to enter to set foot on the private land of Crazy Dave?” he booms, enunciating every syllable. You can take the man out of the theatre.

Turning, George see’s the Swinging Dicks forming a perimeter around them. Each has a mouth dripping with blood, and an absence of any clothing on their bottom half. Despite the crippling fear, he can’t help but admire the boldness and clarity of their branding.

“Mr Dave that would be me.”

“What brings you to trespass here? What wish do you have other than to die?”

“Urm,” George stutters, terrified and struggling to think. Having Dinkler behind him making such comments as ‘You’ll have someone’s eye out with that thing, son’ and ‘I can see why you’re so angry’ does not help. “Well, I wondered if I could speak with you in private?”

Crazy Dave laughs a loud, diaphragm powered laugh. “You wish private council with me? For what reason would I grant you such an honour?”

“It’s to do with this?” George says, holding up the magazine.

He tries to hide the reaction, but George spots the look of panic in Dave’s face. Recognition of the item and its implications flashes across his face, only to be quelled. But, in that instance, no matter how minute, George knows he’s in.

“Walk with me.” He says, beckoning George to follow him. “Swinging Dicks? Be sure to attend to my friend’s colleague here.” He says, gesturing to Dinkler. A hush falls across the semi-nude cannibals as their leader and George stroll off.

“My plan was to blackmail you.” George says, strolling side-by-side with Dave. “But, being here, seeing you operate. I believe we can come to something more, mutually beneficial.”

“How so?”

“You’re born to lead. True leaders are hard to find. Yet here you are and I see everything you have created. Yet, I can’t help wonder if you could not have done more?”

Dave bristles. “You think I’m lazy?”

“Not at all. Just,” he pauses, choosing his words. “Under advised.”

“Under advised?”

“Let me tell you a bit about myself. Before the war I was someone with considerable influence. I advised the wealthy and the powerful. I enabled them to become more wealthy and powerful. Then the world changed. Now I see you and I wonder if, with a little additional guidance, this is someone whom could achieve more?”

“And what more is it I could achieve?”

“You have control over a sizeable area of land. But, what if you could have more? What if you could rule with impunity for as far as the eye can see?”

“And you’d be willing to do this for free?”

“Well, that’s where I would have some conditions. My friend and I. We’d need food and water. And assurances that your ‘employees’ would not harm us.”

“Of course.”

“For that simple price you gain not only an advisor, but a guarantee that this little secret.” George says, showing the magazine. “Stays well and truly hidden.” George stops and extends his hand. “So, what do you say?”

There’s commotion as they return to camp. The Swinging Dicks are a blur of frenzied excitement. They dance and cavort in a circle, arms flapping, legs flailing, and appendages bouncing like banana trees in a thunderstorm. In the middle of this whirlwind stands Dinkler. Bewildered. Scared. Using his best British stoicism to not look at the jiggling members.

“What is all this noise?” Dave barks, striding forward.

“Dinkler! What have you done?”

“A little help would be fantastic.” Dinkler shouts.

A Swinging Dick peels away from the melee and hurls himself at Dave’s feet. “It’s happened Master. The prophecy you spoke of. The chosen one has arrived.”

“Prophecy?” George says, confused.

“Nonsense.” Dave scolds. “It can’t be true.”

The Swinging Dick can’t contain his excitement. Hopping from foot to foot like a toddler reluctant to admit they need the toilet. “It is Master. He’s here.” And points at Dinkler, who notices and waves back.

Turning to Dave, hoping for confirmation of this obvious mistake, George is met with a timid, guilty expression.

“Master said that the chosen one will come to lead us to fortune and glory.” The Swinging Dick asserts.

“This is ludicrous! Dinkler can’t be the chos…” he’s interrupted by the Swinging Dick slapping a piece of paper into his hands. Turning it round, and straightening it out reveals it to be an aging police E-Fit. The resemblance to Dinkler is uncanny. “This can’t be right. Says this person is wanted for assaulting two officers. Dinkler’s barely beaten an egg.”

“How’s it going over there?” Dinkler enquires. “Even if you can’t get them to stop dancing, I’d very much appreciate it if they didn’t have to do it around me.”

“This has to be some sort of…” George turns to Dave, who is already almost 100 meters away, fleeing into the night.

“Sorry,” he shouts back, ripping the trinkets of the clan from his person with glee, skipping and kicking his heels together. “But, they need feeding several times a day and get very cranky if they don’t nap. But, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

George watches as Dave’s laughter and image fade into the darkness until only the sound of chanting remains. The dawning realisation solidifies through his body.

“Dinkler?” He asks, and the group falls still and silent. One of the Swinging Dicks walks over and shoves George.

“That’s Master Dinkler.” He growls. “Now kneel.”

“They’re making a lot of noise again.” George says, from his position peering between the boarded windows of their shack.

“They’ll tire out soon enough.” Dinkler remarks. “But, better they make a lot of noise doing aerobics, than that other stuff. Now how’s dinner coming along?”

“I guess. But would be good if they could do it with some trousers on.”

“Some habits are just too ingrained.”

“They don’t need to wear much. Just…”

“… George.” Dinkler interrupts. “There’s no point even trying. The changes we’ve made thus far have been tolerated. This will be a step too far. They like to let it all hang out! If the price of peace and harmony is an excess of visible dong, then you’re just going to have to get used to some extra sausage in your diet. So, settle down and let them get on with it. Now, how’s dinner coming along?”

Turning away from the window and back to the pot suspended over the fire, George slips an apron over his head. Across the middle should read ‘Head Cook’, but the word ‘Cook’ has been scribbled out and replaced with ‘Cock’.

“They do know that I’m your advisor, right? It’s just that I could do with them treating me with a bit more respect.” Reaching up to hand Dinkler a steaming bowl who is sitting upon an extravagant throne made from found items. This throne fills their shack.

“Yeah, they know. What can I say? Boys will be boys.”

“When do you think you’ll look at those suggestions I made?”

“I’ll look soon,” Dinkler says, reclining back and spooning food into his mouth. “All in good time.”

THE END

submitted by /u/Mattwotwrites [link] [comments]

#June 04 #2021 at 12:46AM

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touristguidebuzz · 8 years ago

Text

iCars Denies That It Is Spinning Its Wheels in Corporate Ground Transport

Gary Bauer, the chief executive of iCars and Limos.com, is shown at the company's stand at the Global Business Travel Association (GBTA) conference in Boston on Monday. He tells Skift his team has had several productive meetings. Andrew Sheivachman / Skift

Skift Take: In theory, the merger of iCars and Limos.com promises a thriving black car service for corporate travelers. In practice, there is circumstantial evidence this investment vehicle hasn't yet left the repair shop.

— Sean O'Neill

Early this week in Boston at the annual Global Business Travel Association (GBTA) conference, corporate travel buyers and other convention-goers may have seen a 20-foot-by-50-foot booth touting iCars and its sister brand Limos.com.

The San Francisco-based company aims to help corporate travel agencies arrange ground transportation with licensed chauffeurs, unlike the list of amateur drivers offered by transportation network companies like Uber and Lyft.

Nothing seemed amiss at the booth. But not everything about the company was on display.

Last month, iCars let go of its president, Ed Silver, who had been appointed a year earlier, replacing interim president and serial startup founder Mark Fielder, who helped get the brand off the ground in early 2016.

The timing of the decision before the conference is eyebrow-raising because Silver had held executive-level roles at GBTA for several years.

Events like GBTA are important for vendors like iCars because it can be a cost-efficient way to reach corporate professionals.

In fact, iCars chose to have its first big marketing push as a new company at GBTA, a year ago.

Since then, iCars acquired Limos.com, a distressed asset.

The iCars merger with Limos.com looked good on paper. The iCars brand, founded in early 2016, aimed to develop an advanced technology tool set for corporate risk management and duty of care. Limos.com, after turnaround artist Dan Tamkin of the Stage Fund came in and streamlined operations, brought an affiliate network and a marketing engine.

On Tuesday, iCars/Limos.com CEO Gary Bauer spoke with Skift.

Bauer says in the past year the company has gone from having limo operators on call in four locations to having 20,000 vehicles now on call in about 550 locations.

Bauer says he has been trying to raise a Series A investment round, which he expects will close later this year, “maybe a few months from now.”

One of the bits of feedback he says he has received from investors is that they want him, with his experience as a serial entrepreneur, at the helm if they are going to feel confident enough to invest.

He has not been able to do this because he has also been running the day-to-day operations of the biggest of a few companies that he has founded, Bauer Intelligent Transportation, a private-hire coach and shuttle service vendor in California that he says grosses $60 million a year.

Bauer says it has taken a year to train a new president to handle Intelligent Transportation. The training is now over, and his hand is now free to run the day-to-day of iCars, which is why it was time for Silver to go. (Silver declined to speak to Skift.)

Earlier this month, the owner of a car service in Texas, Abiding Limousine, that supplied services to iCars/Limos.com, wrote in a LinkedIn posting that, as of early July, it had been attempting to reach iCars/Limos.com operator support for more than 45 days without a response regarding outstanding payments for services rendered between May and June, meaning daily voice mails and email.

When Skift contacted the limo operator to ask more, an employee declined to speak to the media. The posting has been removed.

We asked Bauer about this.

He says: “Everyone is up to date on payments.”

He says there had been a transition period that required some operators to adjust expectations temporarily. The old Limos.com platform was driving 95 percent leisure business with customers paying by credit cards, which deposit money quickly. The shift to 100 percent corporate business brings with it a different timetable of revenue that comes in over longer cycles, typically every 30 to 45 days. That transition period is over now, he says.

“No operator is behind on payments,” Bauer says. “Operators get paid every Wednesday.”

Marketing Limbo?

Both the iCars and Limos.com brands have been quiet lately relative to main competitors Blacklane, Deem, and GroundLink, which have released several announcements in sync with GBTA.

While each company has unique offerings, they are similar in that they are all affiliated with limousine providers. Their core business model is sending referrals to run trips for corporate travelers whenever the drivers aren’t otherwise booked with local, direct reservations.

Meanwhile, a few consumers posted complaints about the quality of Limos.com service (cars not showing up, no response from the dispatch desk, wrong charges) on Twitter. Skift contacted the posters but received only one response and couldn’t confirm any of their validity.

When we asked Bauer about this, he says that he also can’t confirm the validity of the comments and says that his customer teams have been on top of addressing service issues.

A conversation with a former employee of Limos.com suggests that Limos.com has not been updated in any substantial way in 18 months.

Bauer says the company has focused on developing its mobile apps for Apple and Android devices and its (now completed) integrations with the corporate booking tools run by corporate travel Titans like Concur and Sabre.

The CEO says he is committed to investing in technology. He has 18 developers as employees and two as contractors. He says the company has 32 full-time employees altogether. (Skift was unable to confirm that via LinkedIn, which has inadequate data on the company.)

He says the apps already are closer to the Uber/Lyft standard of user experience than any other tool offered by iCars’s/Limos.com’s competitors. “Just try the apps and see for yourself.”

Bauer adds: “We’re rebuilding the whole tech stack. There was a delay because Limos.com had a deal with another call center; we had to switch that out, and we had to make related technical changes.”

As we’ve noted in our earlier coverage, iCars is going up against Blacklane (which has raised $42 million), GroundLink (which has raised $20 million and was acquired earlier this year by Marcou Transportation Group), and Deem (which has raised hundreds of millions for its various incarnations).

Bauer says he’s put about $10 million into iCars/Limos.com.

The competitors and legacy players declined to talk about their erstwhile rival.

Two industry professionals who are often involved in contract negotiations for corporate travel say anonymously that the names of Limos.com and iCars have “never” come up this year during discussions.

Bauer says that his company has signed several deals with travel management companies, but that it can’t reveal the names because of non-disclosure agreements.

Unlike its rivals, iCars has been quiet on all of the social networks since May 4. It has not put out a press release since January.

We asked Bauer why the company hasn’t been using these marketing channels, especially in the run-up to its biggest trade conference of the year.

Bauer says that the company let go of the PR firm it had been working with, and hiring a new one has been a low priority. (The PR company tells Skift its contract ended in December.)

On its own, an observer can’t infer much from any of the individual points listed above. But the overall picture may puzzle some.

Bauer insists that momentum is already here, as of GBTA: “I admit we could be doing a better job of promoting ourselves. But we’ve had a lot going on.”

0 notes

rollinbrigittenv8 · 8 years ago

Text

iCars Denies That It Is Spinning Its Wheels in Corporate Ground Transport

— Sean O'Neill

Nothing seemed amiss at the booth. But not everything about the company was on display.

The timing of the decision before the conference is eyebrow-raising because Silver had held executive-level roles at GBTA for several years.

Events like GBTA are important for vendors like iCars because it can be a cost-efficient way to reach corporate professionals.

In fact, iCars chose to have its first big marketing push as a new company at GBTA, a year ago.

Since then, iCars acquired Limos.com, a distressed asset.

On Tuesday, iCars/Limos.com CEO Gary Bauer spoke with Skift.

Bauer says in the past year the company has gone from having limo operators on call in four locations to having 20,000 vehicles now on call in about 550 locations.

Bauer says he has been trying to raise a Series A investment round, which he expects will close later this year, “maybe a few months from now.”

When Skift contacted the limo operator to ask more, an employee declined to speak to the media. The posting has been removed.

We asked Bauer about this.

He says: “Everyone is up to date on payments.”

“No operator is behind on payments,” Bauer says. “Operators get paid every Wednesday.”

Marketing Limbo?

Both the iCars and Limos.com brands have been quiet lately relative to main competitors Blacklane, Deem, and GroundLink, which have released several announcements in sync with GBTA.

When we asked Bauer about this, he says that he also can’t confirm the validity of the comments and says that his customer teams have been on top of addressing service issues.

A conversation with a former employee of Limos.com suggests that Limos.com has not been updated in any substantial way in 18 months.

He says the apps already are closer to the Uber/Lyft standard of user experience than any other tool offered by iCars’s/Limos.com’s competitors. “Just try the apps and see for yourself.”

Bauer says he’s put about $10 million into iCars/Limos.com.

The competitors and legacy players declined to talk about their erstwhile rival.

Bauer says that his company has signed several deals with travel management companies, but that it can’t reveal the names because of non-disclosure agreements.

Unlike its rivals, iCars has been quiet on all of the social networks since May 4. It has not put out a press release since January.

We asked Bauer why the company hasn’t been using these marketing channels, especially in the run-up to its biggest trade conference of the year.

Bauer says that the company let go of the PR firm it had been working with, and hiring a new one has been a low priority. (The PR company tells Skift its contract ended in December.)

On its own, an observer can’t infer much from any of the individual points listed above. But the overall picture may puzzle some.

Bauer insists that momentum is already here, as of GBTA: “I admit we could be doing a better job of promoting ourselves. But we’ve had a lot going on.”

0 notes

flauntpage · 8 years ago

Text

Your Monday Morning Roundup

This is getting old.

Let’s hit it!

But first, a word from our sponsors:

Legal. Please welcome new sponsor Krasno, Krasno and Onwudinjo. When you need a workers’ compensation or social security attorney.

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Amazon. Shop Amazon and support your favorite website by clicking this link.

The roundup:

The Penguins won the Stanley Cup last night, and since the Flyers beat them in the 2012 playoffs, the Pens have now won 11 playoff series while the Flyers have won none. Remarkable mismanagement of a workable core.

Here’s Patrick Hornqvist scoring the winning goal, with 1:36 to go, and reacting as if he just iced a mid-February tilt against the Isles:

Have we reached the Penguins are nonchalant about winning Cups phase of this pseudo dynasty? I mean, Crosby couldn’t even be bothered to accept the Conn Smythe from super villain Gary Bettman. The only thing worse than the Penguins winning the Cup is the Penguins getting used to doing so. Even Doc Emrick seemed indifferent to the scene playing out in front of him. And interesting, this year Pierre McGuire only allowed Sidney Crosby to finish on his face, rather than swallow, during the post-game interview. Is there some tension there?

There is great:

Big fans of Mike Milbury they are in Nashville, yeah http://pic.twitter.com/RVMWoYVkz9

— Deadspin (@Deadspin) June 12, 2017

Soccer goal:

[That announcer blows, by the way.]

The US spent the next 87 minutes (fuck, Crosby, it’s a sign) trying to prevent Mexico from scoring. The game ended in a 1-1 tie while the good guys built a figurative wall inside the box. Wonder why soccer has trouble catching on with a mainstream US audience? Look no further than the tactic of willfully playing for a tie, which, though correct, turns off US fans used to a KICK THEIR ASS! style of sports.

EA Sports made a bunch of announcements on Saturday. Here are the new trailers for Madden and Fifa, which now features the pheromones of Cristiano Ronaldo, which by the way is totally fine with me. And NBA Live, which no one will play. The videos:

This E:60 piece on the South America soccer team plane crash was absolutely amazing. Must-watch.

After winning four in a row, the Phillies have snapped back to their proper selves and have now lost five straight, and have been swept six times this season. The draft is today– please don’t fuck it up.

Name a sports tradition dumber than throwing a catfish on the ice in Nashville.

— Duncan Smith (@DuncanSmithNBA) June 12, 2017

The continued and pervasive exclusion of women from sports. https://t.co/zLgMnAhsSo

— Kate Morrison (@unlikelyfanatic) June 12, 2017

Yeah, sure, all those female commentators, officials and on-air hosts are completely excluded from sports. Liberals suck.

NFL Network wants its talent to use access to post on social media:

That piece of video was used as a case study for how NFL Media executives want their on-air talent to use social media. During a seminar for the NFL’s on-air personalities held last week in Santa Monica, Calif., the consistent theme the league pushed was that NFL Network talent should use their access and name recognition to build social media audiences.

“We want to be more nimble about creating content and using our talent as the boots on the ground,” Brady said. “They have a stronger level of access in a lot of cases. They have great relationships with the teams and the players. We want to leverage that using each of the social platforms.”

This is a great idea. A few months ago at a symposium at the Villanova School of Law, ESPN advertising exec Eric Johnson spoke about a similar ESPN mandate, which asks cameramen, producers, audio folks and others involved in the broadcast to use their access to capture footage which traditional cameras might not pick up and post it to an internal server that ESPN can pull from. In theory, this all sounds great. But the problem arises when teams or leages feel a line was crossed. Some local PR departments, particularly the Phillies, have been notorious about slapping reporters on the wrist for misusing access or taking photos when they shouldn’t (including during on-field stretching!). My guess is NFL Network and ESPN folks won’t run into those problems as much, but eventually some team is going to have a problem with a cable puller taking a picture of Tom Brady getting his knee iced. Still, this is a great use of the access these networks are granted, and I’d love to see CSN do something like it.

Carson Wentz talks about hunting wild goat and antelope in New Zealand. And that’s a sentence I wasn’t expecting to have to write.

Donald Trump has lied before about recording conversations.

Herm Edwards:

You really haven't lived unti you've seen Herm jam to " turn down for what" #lifegoals http://pic.twitter.com/FhMcnS96zT

— trey wingo (@wingoz) June 10, 2017

I feel like this is overstating it a bit, but I agree the Eagles’ offensive line will be pretty good:

The @Eagles are primed to have one of the best offensive lines in the NFL next season http://pic.twitter.com/JGduxZdIT3

— Pro Football Focus (@PFF) June 10, 2017

The Lakers are not impressed… with Lonzo Ball.

I’m never sleeping again:

WATCH: "You can do it." Toddler helps his 1-year-old brother escape from his crib so he can play with him: https://t.co/eVVPhHbZSR http://pic.twitter.com/l5IupKkmIe

— Good Morning America (@GMA) June 12, 2017

Today in unnecessary censorship.

Subscribe to Crossing Broadcast to get a new show every Monday, Wednesday and Friday around 7:15 a.m.:

Your Monday Morning Roundup published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv

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amtushinfosolutionspage · 8 years ago

Text

Your Monday Morning Roundup

This is getting old.

Let’s hit it!

But first, a word from our sponsors:

Legal. Please welcome new sponsor Krasno, Krasno and Onwudinjo. When you need a workers’ compensation or social security attorney.

Process. You need this. Shop now.

Amazon. Shop Amazon and support your favorite website by clicking this link.

The roundup:

Here’s Patrick Hornqvist scoring the winning goal, with 1:36 to go, and reacting as if he just iced a mid-February tilt against the Isles:

There is great:

Big fans of Mike Milbury they are in Nashville, yeah http://pic.twitter.com/RVMWoYVkz9

— Deadspin (@Deadspin) June 12, 2017

Soccer goal:

[That announcer blows, by the way.]

This E:60 piece on the South America soccer team plane crash was absolutely amazing. Must-watch.

Name a sports tradition dumber than throwing a catfish on the ice in Nashville.

— Duncan Smith (@DuncanSmithNBA) June 12, 2017

The continued and pervasive exclusion of women from sports. https://t.co/zLgMnAhsSo

— Kate Morrison (@unlikelyfanatic) June 12, 2017

Yeah, sure, all those female commentators, officials and on-air hosts are completely excluded from sports. Liberals suck.

NFL Network wants its talent to use access to post on social media:

Carson Wentz talks about hunting wild goat and antelope in New Zealand. And that’s a sentence I wasn’t expecting to have to write.

Donald Trump has lied before about recording conversations.

Herm Edwards:

You really haven't lived unti you've seen Herm jam to " turn down for what" #lifegoals http://pic.twitter.com/FhMcnS96zT

— trey wingo (@wingoz) June 10, 2017

I feel like this is overstating it a bit, but I agree the Eagles’ offensive line will be pretty good:

The @Eagles are primed to have one of the best offensive lines in the NFL next season http://pic.twitter.com/JGduxZdIT3

— Pro Football Focus (@PFF) June 10, 2017

The Lakers are not impressed… with Lonzo Ball.

I’m never sleeping again:

WATCH: "You can do it." Toddler helps his 1-year-old brother escape from his crib so he can play with him: https://t.co/eVVPhHbZSR http://pic.twitter.com/l5IupKkmIe

— Good Morning America (@GMA) June 12, 2017

Today in unnecessary censorship.

Subscribe to Crossing Broadcast to get a new show every Monday, Wednesday and Friday around 7:15 a.m.:

Your Monday Morning Roundup published first on http://ift.tt/2rcdcDH

0 notes

trendingnewsb · 8 years ago

Text

How I Get Interview Opportunities Every Time with One Impressive Letter

Let’s admit it, applying for jobs is a time-consuming, and sometimes soul-destroying process. With technology that simplifies the task at hand, we can become a little lazy at the job application game. This definitely does not do us any favours.

Pro Tips from Professionals For A Kick-Ass Cover Letter

Many recruiters still require a covering letter to accompany a CV/resume, and this is your only chance to stand out from the sometimes hundreds of other hopeful, job-hungry applicants. I have interviewed top recruiters and business people who have supplied the very best insider cover letter tips to enable you to be the cream that rises to the top of the applicant pile.

1. Make it personal

Do your research and find a specific person in charge of the hiring process and then address your cover letter to them. It’s much better than a “To Whom it May Concern” or “To Hiring Manager.” — Danny Garcia, Marketing Operations Manager at Stacklist[1]

2. Make it readable

Keep your paragraphs short and easy to understand. It’s intimidating to open a cover letter with two to three GIANT blocks of text.

“I recently received an amazing cover letter that applied someone’s past experience with what we do in our industry. I’d be very impressed if it was a template, because it was so specific. They immediately went on my short list.”

3. Make it quick and specific

Why are you a fit? What does the company do that you love? How can you make a difference? Three quick sentences. If it gets too long and you summarise your career, you’ll lose them. If it’s too impersonal or vague, it will be irrelevant. Be quick, but detailed and relate directly to the company. — Deborah Sweeney, CEO, MyCorporation[2]

4. Show your passion

Show you want a job from THIS company – not just ANY company. Show you’ve done your research (but really do your research). If it’s a company for which you really want to work, it comes across!

5. Endeavour to stand out

My favorite line is, “Mr/Ms. I know you are incredibly busy and I want you to know you have found your candidate so there is no need to look any further”. The reality is that most hiring managers are interviewing candidates in addition to doing their regular job. When you can swoop in with insider information into why you are the right fit you will rise to the top. — Heather Monahan, Workplace expert aka Boss In Heels[3]

6. Make reference to a familiar peer

The best cover letters include the name of someone you and the hiring manager have in common. By finding someone on the inside to advocate for you, you will advance to a face to face interview quickly.

7. Make it different to your resume

The vast majority of cover letters I receive are completely mundane; typically, these letters rattle off a laundry list of achievements and past work experiences. But here’s the thing – that’s what your resume is for. The last thing any HR manager or recruiter wants to read is your resume in a different format. — Lidia Salerno, Human Resources Generalist, Trustpilot[4]

8. Stay in character

Is the job in the creative industry? Then feel free to be creative. Is the job corporate? You get the picture. Without losing who you are, tailor your cover letter with a voice so perfect that you come across as though you were made for the role. — Harrison Peters, Adult Dating Entrepreneur[5]

9. Don’t overdo it

Don’t overuse all the buzzwords and definitely don’t overdo it, be clear, honest and committed. — Gregor Schellhammer, Managing Director, AbroadWise[6]

10. Follow the instructions

Countless times I have been left frustrated by job applications with information missing that I have specifically asked for. If the applicant can’t follow instructions at this stage, I would doubt they can when it comes to doing the job. — Sal Stevens, Human Resources Manager, Older Dating[7]

11. Be you

It’s best to try to be your true self and show your personality as best you can in a few sentences. I’ve always appreciated a cover letter that gives me a sense of the individual. — Jana Tulloch, CPHR, Human Resources Professional, DevelopIntelligence[8]

12. Be unique

Use your cover letter to show off what makes you unique. A strong cover letter can be compared to a good elevator pitch. It should offer something fresh and unexpected–something that makes you, the “product” being pitched, memorable. If what makes you valuable is a bit unconventional, don’t be afraid to say so. — Hannah Steffensen, GPS Trackit[9]

13. Remember the buzzwords

It is important to keep in mind that in today’s fast-paced and technology-infused market, most large employers are utilizing Applicant Tracking Systems (ATS) to search by “key words” on cover letters and resumes to attract the right talent. Sure, a well-written cover letter can set you apart from your competition if it’s appealing and captivating, but if it has not been sprinkled with key words, it may get overlooked. It is critically important to closely study the job posting or advertisement and incorporate some of the qualifications, attributes and buzzwords into your cover letter. Doing so will increase your chances to getting noticed. — Julie R. Woodard, SPHR, Woodard & Associates, LLC[10]

14. Let your enthusiasm shine

It can be such a dull job to sift through hundreds of job applications. When I come across a cover letter where the enthusiasm shines off the page, and that I simply enjoy reading, I really take note. More often than not, I stick that one on the ‘to interview’ pile. — Andrew Hammond, Recruiter, WeLoveDates[11]

15. Be honest

There are countless times that I have received applications for job roles where I can smell the exageration a mile off. When you embellish and lie your way through a job application, it will only come back to bite you on the butt. Most of the time, the successful applicant won’t have all the skills required anyway (and the recruiter is just being a little optimistic/unrealistic), so don’t be put off applying, but be honest about it. — Jessica Munday, Founder, Real Parent & Real Wedding[12]

Covering Letters Examples that Landed the Job

The playful one[13]

“A candidate applying for a position in customer success submitted a cover letter as if I were the customer and he was trying to solve my problem of filling the role. It was playful, yet highly appropriate. It was engaging, but not to the point of entertainment. With this one piece of content, I was able to deduce the candidate’s problem solving ability, work ethic, style and personality – and no, he never once mentioned his past roles in customer success. It was completely apparent that he had experience based on his letter.”

The memorable one

“A memorable cover letter for a back-end engineer role started off in standard form but ended with a paragraph of computer code. It was only when I put the letter into a member of our tech team’s hands that we figured out what is said:

This message brought to you by your next all-star developer.

There are times when playing it safe is warranted; I’d never recommend this sort of out-of-the-box approach for a traditional corporate role in most cases. But the best applicants know when to send up a flare to help them stand out from the pack.

And in all cases, quality candidates with good cover letters know how to tell a story that provides a little insight into who they are as a person.”

The humourous one

I work in marketing, and when finding a job, I typically have to compete with a number of other creative types. So, instead of the same old “To Whom it May Concern” intro, I’ve changed things up quite a bit in my intro (which has worked very well a number of times).

“Oh, hello – didn’t see you there. This feels like I’m writing an awkward dating profile, but here we go. My name is Nick, I’ve lived in Chicago for nearly two years, I’m originally from Texas (yes I do wear cowboy boots), I’m an Aries (who knows… maybe you’re into that stuff) and I’m a thoroughly acceptable rec league softball player. Phew, glad we could get that out of the way.

Now down to business. Career-wise, I’ve worked in marketing and PR for over five years in both a B2B and B2C capacity. I enjoy both communications and marketing because they provide a fascinating opportunity to show how impactful media hits, email campaigns, events, and social media can be. After running a particular campaign, going back and using regression to see what worked and what didn’t will only make a department and company stronger. I’ve worked in marketing and public relations for a variety of different companies – starting off in Austin at an oil and gas technology company, transitioning on a whim to Chicago as an account executive with a boutique PR firm, and now a digital marketing manager with a financial services firm. I’ve been able to learn a wealth of information from a variety of different angles – how lead targeting is most effective; how specific pitches and media relationships can truly impact site traffic; and how insanely frustrating social media can be if people don’t appreciate why it exists (I’m sorry to report that just because you tweet, you won’t get thousands of leads). Adding these platforms alongside events, drip campaigns, company newsletters, and press releases can accomplish traffic and leads a huge amount. Finally, I love reporting – it’s something that really helps tell a unique story. I’ve used Salesforce (I’m approximately 1 of 14 people worldwide who loves the product) and HubSpot quite a bit in the past, and it really helps show C-level executives the bottom line as to how certain departments are doing. So if you want colorful graphs with numbers on numbers on numbers, then I’m your guy.

Outside of work, I truly love writing – it’s one of my favorite activities along with traveling, the stock market, and being a bandwagon Cubs fan. My writing is something I take very seriously – I can write a dissertation about Mao’s last years in China, or a magical narwhal that’s lost in the South Pacific – both serious and humorous pieces present their own challenges.”[14]

The dynamic one

“The Marketing Director career opening as advertised on (Advertisement source) has really piqued my interest. If you are seeking to augment your leadership team with an experienced and accomplished marketing professional known for breakthrough results, please consider my resume. I possess over 15 years of marketing and communications leadership and management experience. My core competencies include content generation, data analytics and company branding.

Currently, I serve as the Marketing Manager for ABC Company. For the past seven years, I have been responsible for setting budgets for marketing plans, planning promotional campaigns, initiating market research studies and meeting with clients to provide marketing advice.

In the past, I have worked with Fortune 500 companies where leading marketing operations was my focus. By partnering closely with business leaders, I helped align business goals with marketing strategy. In addition, I possess a proven track record of fostering positive employee relations, communications and enhancing performance management.

I am searching for the right opportunity with a well-established and stable company where I can share my expertise, leadership and “roll up my sleeves” to add value to the company. I am seeking a long-term career opportunity and am excited at the possibility of joining your dynamic team. I am confident in my ability to achieve your expectations and goals as outlined in the job posting.

I may be reached via email at (e-mail) or direct at (telephone number). I look forward to hearing from you to discuss my past work experience and learning more about the opportunity.

Thank you for your time and kind consideration.”[15]

The confident one

“After spending three years managing the internal communications for a 2,000-person company, I could plan a quarterly town hall or draft an inter-office memo in my sleep. What I want to do next? Put that experience to work consulting executives on their communications strategy…”[16]

The upbeat one[17]

The brutally honest and self deprecating one

“My name is (BLOCKED) and I am an undergraduate finance student at (BLOCKED). I met you the summer before last at Smith & Wollensky’s in New York when I was touring the east coast with my uncle, (BLOCKED). I just wanted to thank you for taking the time to talk with me that night.

I am writing to inquire about a possible summer internship in your office. I am aware it is highly unusual for undergraduates from average universities like (BLOCKED) to intern at (BLOCKED), but nevertheless I was hoping you might make an exception. I am extremely interested in investment banking and would love nothing more than to learn under your tutelage. I have no qualms about fetching coffee, shining shoes or picking up laundry, and will work for next to nothing. In all honesty, I just want to be around professionals in the industry and gain as much knowledge as I can.

I won’t waste your time inflating my credentials, throwing around exaggerated job titles, or feeding you a line of crapp (sic) about how my past experiences and skill set align perfectly for an investment banking internship. The truth is I have no unbelievably special skills or genius eccentricities, but I do have a near perfect GPA and will work hard for you. I’ve interned for Merrill Lynch in the Wealth Management Division and taken an investment banking class at (BLOCKED), for whatever that is worth.

I am currently awaiting admission results for (BLOCKED) Masters of Science in Accountancy program, which I would begin this fall if admitted. I am also planning on attending law school after my master’s program, which we spoke about in New York. I apologize for the blunt nature of my letter, but I hope you seriously consider taking me under your wing this summer. I have attached my resume for your review. Feel free to call me at (BLOCKED) or email at (BLOCKED). Thank you for your time.”[18]

The creative one

“Twenty-year-old Alice Lee used her design skills to create an interactive website, complete with an Instagram stream with the social network’s API. Instagram didn’t end up hiring Lee, but she did get to speak to CEO Kevin Systrom, and Lee’s site eventually led to an internship with another company.”[19]

The ‘flattery gets you everywhere’ one

“Having grown up with the Cincinnati Zoo (literally) in my backyard, I understand firsthand how you’ve earned your reputation as one of the most family-friendly venues in the State of Ohio. For 20 years, I’ve been impressed as your customer; now I want to impress visitors in the same way your team has so graciously done for me.”[20]

The enthusiastic one

“It is with great enthusiasm that I submit my application for the position of Sales Coordinator for the Westeros Castle Project. As an administrative professional with over ten years’ experience, I know my diverse skills and qualifications will make me an asset to the Westeros project team.

As you will see from the attached resume, I’ve built my career in a variety of roles and industries, mostly in small companies where I was not just the admin but also gatekeeper, technology whiz, bookkeeper and marketing guru. I’m not only used to wearing many hats, I sincerely enjoy it; I thrive in an environment where no two work days are exactly the same.

In addition to being flexible and responsive, I’m also a fanatic for details – particularly when it comes to presentation. One of my recent projects involved coordinating a 200-page grant proposal: I proofed and edited the narratives provided by the division head, formatted spreadsheets, and generally made sure every line was letter-perfect and that the entire finished product conformed to the specific guidelines of the RFP. (The result? A five-year, $1.5 million grant award.) I believe in applying this same level of attention to detail to tasks as visible as prepping the materials for a top-level meeting and as mundane as making sure the copier never runs out of paper.

Last but certainly not least, I want you to know that I’m a passionate Westeros fan and a longtime supporter of the new castle. I’ve been following the new castle movement since the earliest days of the original “Save the Tombs” campaign, and I am so excited to see this vision becoming a reality. I’ve already checked out the new castle website, and the renderings of the new throne and great hall are stunning, to say the least – I particularly love the vintage murals and art featured throughout the building. Nice touch!

In closing, I am thrilled at the possibility of being involved in the new castle almost literally from the ground up, and would love the opportunity to meet with you and discuss the value that I can bring to the Targaryen organization and the Westeros Castle Project. I appreciate your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.”

Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

Reference

[1]^Danny Garcia, Marketing Operations Manager at Stacklist[2]^Deborah Sweeney, CEO, MyCorporation[3]^Heather Monahan, Workplace expert aka Boss In Heels[4]^Lidia Salerno, Human Resources Generalist, Trustpilot[5]^Harrison Peters, Adult Dating Entrepreneur[6]^Gregor Schellhammer, Managing Director, AbroadWise[7]^Sal Stevens, Human Resources Manager, Older Dating[8]^Jana Tulloch, CPHR, Human Resources Professional, DevelopIntelligence[9]^Hannah Steffensen, GPS Trackit[10]^Julie R. Woodard, SPHR, Woodard & Associates, LLC[11]^Andrew Hammond, Recruiter, WeLoveDates[12]^Jessica Munday, Founder, Real Parent & Real Wedding[13]^Lidia Salerno, Human Resources Generalist, Trustpilot[14]^Nick Pennebaker, Co-Founder, Awardzee[15]^Julie R. Woodard, SPHR, Woodard & Associates, LLC[16]^The Muse: Source[17]^Visual CV: Source[18]^Forbes Source[19]^Mashable: Source[20]^Forbes: Source

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trendingnewsb · 8 years ago

Text

How I Get Interview Opportunities Every Time with One Impressive Letter

Pro Tips from Professionals For A Kick-Ass Cover Letter

1. Make it personal

2. Make it readable

Keep your paragraphs short and easy to understand. It’s intimidating to open a cover letter with two to three GIANT blocks of text.

3. Make it quick and specific

4. Show your passion

Show you want a job from THIS company – not just ANY company. Show you’ve done your research (but really do your research). If it’s a company for which you really want to work, it comes across!

5. Endeavour to stand out

6. Make reference to a familiar peer

7. Make it different to your resume

8. Stay in character

9. Don’t overdo it

Don’t overuse all the buzzwords and definitely don’t overdo it, be clear, honest and committed. — Gregor Schellhammer, Managing Director, AbroadWise[6]

10. Follow the instructions

11. Be you

12. Be unique

13. Remember the buzzwords

14. Let your enthusiasm shine

15. Be honest

Covering Letters Examples that Landed the Job

The playful one[13]

The memorable one

This message brought to you by your next all-star developer.

And in all cases, quality candidates with good cover letters know how to tell a story that provides a little insight into who they are as a person.”

The humourous one

The dynamic one

I may be reached via email at (e-mail) or direct at (telephone number). I look forward to hearing from you to discuss my past work experience and learning more about the opportunity.

Thank you for your time and kind consideration.”[15]

The confident one

The upbeat one[17]

The brutally honest and self deprecating one

The creative one

The ‘flattery gets you everywhere’ one

The enthusiastic one

Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com

Reference

The post How I Get Interview Opportunities Every Time with One Impressive Letter appeared first on Lifehack.

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