#and ready for all that time in-between. idk
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excuse me. âblue lock
ft. isagi yoichi, itoshi rin, itoshi sae, nagi seishiro.
synopsis. you were checking yourself out in the mirror, completely unaware that they were also waiting to use it.
note. idk guys iâm in a writing slump
cw. drabble, lighthearted fic.
wc. 0.7k words, not proofread.



context:
the fitting room at this clothing store was ridiculously far away, a long walk from the section with good clothes.
isagi yoichi à Ë. á”á”
he spots the mirror from across the aisle and beelines for it, hoodie in hand, ready to see if the color suits him. but then, youâre already there.
you were checking yourself out, not even a single piece of clothing in hand. turning side to side. tugging your own shirt up slightly to see how it falls on your waist. he stops dead in his tracks like he just walked into a crime scene.
âoh, sorry. you go ahead!â he said, way too politely.
you glance at him through the mirror.
âitâs okay, you can use it.â
âno! itâs fine! take your time! you were here first!â he says, way too fast.
you pull him by the arm to the mirror.
âitâs big enough for us both,â you say, resuming your inspection like nothing happened.
he panics for half a second, but then holds up the hoodie to see how it fits on him. he looked unsure and awkward.
âthat looks good!â you said, giving him a thumbs up. âthe design suits you.â
âreally? iâll get this one then,â he smiles. âthank you!â
he leaves with the hoodie and a brain permanently engraved with the moment your hand touched his arm.
itoshi rin à Ë. á”á”
youâre trying to figure out a million ways to style the piece of clothing youâre holding, too concentrated to notice anything else.
rin is already standing behind you. has been for like a full minute.
heâs holding a jacket, one hand in his pocket, and staring directly into the mirror like heâs trying to set it on fire. itâs not intentional. he just looks naturally pissed off at all times.
you finally catch his eyes through the mirror, and got a little surprised.
â...do you wanna use it?â
ânot in a rush.â
âyouâve been standing there for a while. we can share.â
âitâs fine.â he said, politely gesturing for you to continue.
you move to the side, making space for him, but he doesnât move.
â...you can use it now,â you say, maybe a little bit intimidated by his stare.
he exhales. âthank you.â
then steps forward exactly half an inch. still unintentionally glaring. still scowling. still terrifying. you eventually leave him there in front of the mirror like a mirror demon.
itoshi sae à Ë. á”á”
youâre holding a pair of jeans up to your legs, trying to imagine the fit, when he appears beside you. not behind you. not waiting politely. just there.
heâs holding up a puffer jacket, already looking into the mirror like you donât exist.
you pause. blink.
ââŠhello?â you say, eyebrow raised.
you knew it was a public mirror, but an âexcuse meâ wouldâve been appreciated.
âyouâre not using the top half,â he says casually.
ââŠwhat?â
he gestures lazily. âyouâre looking at your pants. iâm looking at the jacket. we can share.â
you donât even know how to argue with that level of entitlement.
you stare at him.
â...right. obviously.â
you both looked at your reflections for a while.
âthose donât look that good,â he says, nodding at the jeans.
âneither does that jacket,â you reply.
he huffs a dry response, âokay.â
you go back to comparing colours and he was right, it didnât look that good. he frowns at the jacket again. it really didnât look good either.
âdo these mirrors make everyone look weird, or just me?â he mutters.
you shrug. âprobably just you.â
he turns, finally catching your eye in the mirror.
âyou done?â you ask.
âno.â
after a moment of silence, you both walked away at the same time. itâs not friendly. itâs not hostile. itâs something in between, and way more interesting than it shouldâve been.
nagi seishiro à Ë. á”á”
heâs behind you. not quietly. heâs leaning against a nearby rack, yawning loudly like heâs seconds away from falling asleep.
heâs holding a hoodie by the hanger, looking like he wandered into the store by accident.
youâre too focused on checking your reflection to notice. untilâŠ
âwonder how long thisâll takeâŠâ he mumbles.
you turn. heâs looking straight at you. or past you. hard to tell with half-lidded eyes.
âohâ were you waiting?â
ââŠmm. maybe.â
âyou can use it.â
he yawns again. ânah. too far. iâll just ask. does this look good?â
he holds up the hoodie, barely even lifting his arm.
you stare. â...itâs fine.â
âcool.â he tosses it over his shoulder like thatâs all the confirmation he needs.
he doesnât even try it on.
did he come here to shop or nap?
youâll never know.
© all written works are created and owned by @sinsxo. do not plagiarise, modify, repost or translate any of my content on other platforms under any circumstances.
all images, aside from the dividers, do not belong to me. credit belongs to their original creators on pinterest & xhs.
#isagi yoichi#itoshi rin#itoshi sae#nagi seishiro#blue lock#bllk#itoshi rin x reader#bllk x reader#bluelock#bllk nagi#bllk imagines#nagi seishirou#nagi x reader#blue lock rin#rin itoshi#sae itoshi#blue lock sae#bllk sae#sae x reader#sae itoshi x reader#sae x you#blue lock nagi#seishiro nagi#nagi imagines#đ ËË âcherry's works.#đ ËË âsilk.#bllk isagi#blue lock isagi#isagi x reader#isagi x you
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Omg letâs talk Robbyâs shy wifey!!
Is she shy with him? I picture sheâs open with him and comfortable but he can easily make her go all shy and bushy if he wants to esp with sex stuff
Also he is the perfect guy to cling to if youâre feeling shy in a public setting ughhh heâs so big and beautiful and I love him
Also, I clocked your tags girl & I love it! Sheâs comfy with jack ofc đ
i think she's really shy with him at first.. he's pretty intense even when he's trying to be normal like the eye contact and probably trying to diffuse and calm her down because she seems skittish and whatever he's doing isn't working. it'd have to be a non medicine setting so idk how to explore this relationship when he's not at the hospital like what context he'd see her in... maybe if she is a florist or owns a bakery or whatever cute tropes we love to give our readers and he's a regular.. why is he a regular at the florist i don't exactly know but assuming this man comes in regularly for his- okay interrupting myself mid thought because her being a baker makes much more sense. bakery with good coffee near the hospital and you're always the quiet one baking in the back and if no one's there you have to check him out and give him his large hot coffee labeled michael in your pretty handwriting and whatever sort of pastry you made. hmmm this makes much more sense to me. when you look up at him and then look back down quickly and avoid eye contact and it sucks because he's so cute and becomes a regular but you're just soooo not the kind of girl who flirts up customers, because normally you don't even talk to customers. one day you're not there in the back organizing the displays like you normally are and he asks where you are and ooo boy is that a mistake. the other workers tease you until you're ready to hand in your apron and quit altogether from the sheer overwhelmedness of it all. start calling robby your boyfriend like "oh your boyfriend's about to walk in. i'm gonna go take my break, you got this, right?" like making you talk to him. however... nothing happens besides a slightly prolonged conversation though you get better at eye contact over time and he kind of paints a picture of the sort of girl you are in his headâdefinitely way too good to be with him. and then you get into an accident with a hot tray or a frosting knife and they take you to the emergency room and you're with one of the residents but robby sees you and maybe takes over your care.. cue exchanged glances between everyone.. dana stopping by to see what all the fuss is... people staring at robby tenderly wrapping you wound while you stare up at him with huge wet eyes and he's being quiet and telling you you'll be okay, kid and back to baking in no time. and then you have to be like "michael?" "yeah kid?" "why is everyone staring at us?" [shuts curtain quickly]
okay that was a loooot. i do think though he's the type to pick your head back up and hold you in place if you bury it into his neck or a pillow because you can't hold eye contact during sex. veryyyyy eyes on me, kid. kind of breaks through the shyness because he has a very dirty mouth and you kind of are forced to break through because you enjoy it so much and you don't want him to stop. shy sweetheart wife has layers and he peels them all away. goes from girlfriend to wife really quickly, like, surprisingly quickly. it's because of the type of girlfriend she is, the waiting at home with dinner and dessert and making his house feel like a home with the smell of cookies and just really bringing warmth into that old man's bones. lots of you're killing me here, kid, when you're just staring up at him confused because what did you even do???? (gave him the reality of a life he thought he'd never have or be able to keep). an anxiety emotional shy girl.. lowkey perfect for him. lets him decompress and breakdown after a really bad day and wipes away his tears and somehow ends up crying too which just makes him smile because he knows how much you love him. i'm sure she brings in treats from the bakery to the hospital all the time around five thirty when the store closes, and she can be found hiding behind robby while he tells someone to bring it to the break room and thank his girlfriend (turns into don't forget to thank my wife real quick though). but it's endearing to robby. it's endearing to jack too, but that's for another time.
#sorry just gave you random lore when i should be talking about how he loves breeding her raw i'm so sorry#michael robinavitch#jack is happy for robby but he almost can't believe you're robbys in a sense#but robby is a very sharing guy. jack shared the roof with robby. he can share his wife with jack.
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The last time I read something from you was on my last uni break, and now I'm currently in the other one because I realized in my mind I need time to process everything you wrote. And I was right. This was something.
I LOVE THIS. I'm a sucker for doctor/surgeon Na Jaemin, so I just ate this up. I had to take a few moments to read, especially the initial part with Aseul, seeing her intentions of doing what a mother should do besides her condition really stabbed me. At first, I felt so lost because I was ready for all that doctor drama, but slowly everything unfolded, and I realized there was no better way to start than with part of Aseul's story, so no complaints.
I feel like from what I've read of the other protagonists, this was the one I connected with the most. Outside of the similarities (I'm her, she's me), I feel like anyone who reads this will detect that idk she felt so real? Her emotions, reactions, silences, everything about her. Her life nearly collapsed between her career, rotations, friends, patients, doctors, Haneun. So much was going on, but she still made the effort to keep everything afloat.
I loved seeing Jaemin's fatherly side; sometimes it made me wish responsible fatherhood was possible /jk. How he adores Haneun, where he gives his all for her safety, was a beautiful read and sometimes frustrating since not everything can always go well ;( Let me tell you, when I read the summary I never thought Jaemin would be Haneun's biological father, that was a good slap on my face jshdjs but nothing better than reading a hot dilf, her cute daughter, and a hot intern and future motherđââïž
Haneun made me want to be a mother, that's enough. And I ADORE her scenes with the protagonist. Sometimes I just wanted to skip the Jaemin parts with her because I know Haneun is a mommy's girl (you can tell me otherwise, but I won't change my mindđââïž). I cried a lot, especially with the mama part, I just wanted to hug y/n:(((( we're both crybabies
As for the relationship between Jaemin and the protagonist, sometimes I wanted to punch him, he just pissed me off, she's too good for him imo. Their relationship had all the possible emotions, making for a very good development from the purely professional, open up emotionally, to fucking in the office(? I loved their dynamic. AND I LOVE THE TENSION so I ate up too those scenes where they would sneak away and those illegal things ;b
Jaemin:

You don't know how frustrated I was when I saw cameos and references to the other books (which sometimes I didn't understand like Jeno and Nabi are not together??? who's his fiancee?? Maybe the are and I'm just so dumb or idk) and having to give me spoilers because I wanted to keep reading but well, I asked for it ajbfjdjs
Regarding smut, I said this in my back to you reply (hopefully I continue reading it after sending this) you always make me read things that I'm not a big fan. I'm not a devoted vanilla girl but sometimes I felt like:

So it's kind of funny that I always detach reading because I can't with some kinks but with your works that never happens akbfks. Your like my therapist but of kinks.
Messy sex đ„łWE CHEERED ngl it was funny that they were interrupted fucking. Wdym your sucking nipples while your daughter is dying??? But I didn't think it was going to be such a cliffhanger. Please tell me that Haneun doesn't die pls pls pls
You're an amazing writer. I was so invested in the Aseul arc and all that research you did for this story WOW it only demonstrates your commitment to what you do, and for that reason, you always deliver the best. I'm not that great with words and my English sucks, but hopefully this contributes to your ego because I will be insufferable if I ever write all of this series. As I said last time, be proud of your work :)

heart to heart

word count - 44k wordsÂ
genre - smut, fluff, angst, age gap (10 years)
pairing â surgeon!na jaemin x intern! mcÂ
synopsis â your attending, dr. na jaemin, is all frost and control, never meeting your gaze, never letting your name pass his lips. but when his delicate, ballet-loving daughter, haeun, clings to you, calling you âmamaâ with heartbreaking certainty, you find yourself caught between aching shyness and a growing, dangerous desire. the tension between you and jaemin smolders, silent and electric, until tragedy cracks his careful world: a black swan dimming his ballerina dove. in the chaos, you gamble everythingâcareer, reputation, even your heartâto keep haeun safe. and when the crisis passes, jaeminâs gratitude is anything but clinical: he teaches you things no textbook could, drawing out every trembling confession and every secret longing, until youâre begging to be ruined at his hands.
chapter warnings â explicit language, explicit sexual content(18+), explicit themes, greys anatomy (and early 2000s medical shows) inspired, early 2000s vibe, power play, dom jaemin/sub mc dynamics, rough sex, intimate sex, explicit language, rough attending-intern sex, âteach meâ bimbo kink, sir/bimbo dirty talk, throat grabbing, choking, forced eye contact, spit in mouth, spit as lube, face slapping, riding cock, begging for cock, loss of virginity, forced to beg, âbe my fucktoy,â licking cum, cum on face, breast sucking, breast slapping, face fucking, legs spread, praise and degradation, crying while fucked, size kink, making a mess, throat fucking, being held open, orgasm control, daddy kink, grinding, public risk, denied release, âgood girlâ praise, ownership, dominant doctor, ruined for anyone else, crying after sex, body worship, being used, clean-up with tongue, possessive aftercare, this fic is deeply inspired by classic medical dramasâthink greyâs anatomyâand if you know lexie grey, youâll recognize the mcâs big heart, wild memory (photographic memory) and relentless optimism in a world that rarely offers comfort. please be warned: this is an adult story in every sense. it explores mental illness, physical illness, trauma, life and death. infant death is prevalent in this part, this chapter is set a year after part one, haeun is now two and she speaks, sheâs adorable in this part, her dialogue might get some getting used to, i use hyperrealistic toddler speech, themes of found family, non-traditional parenting, single fatherhood, overwhelming child adoration, possessive child affection, haeun finds her mama this chapterđ«¶, oooh back to you lovers will love a very integral scene, important character cameos, domestic intimacy and loving, explicit depiction of medical caregiving (feeding, medication, inhalers, chest pain, child understanding illness), very innocent, naive, joyful two-year-old perspective (toddler-centric worldview), lots of ballerina scenesđ©°, this chapter is the most traumatic thing iâve ever written iâm warning you guys lol.
đđđđ đđđđ đđđ đđđđ, đ
đđ đđ
listen to đđđ đđđđđđđđ whilst reading <3

Nana Haeun wasnât born into safety, she was stitched into it, woven gently with every kiss pressed to her tiny forehead and each whispered promise murmured against the quiet rhythm of her heart. Her first breath was drawn in darkness, sharp and sterile beneath unforgiving fluorescent lights, every gasp met with the echo of her birth motherâs cruel promises, insisting that she, an innocent, harmless baby, was âa parasite,â sheâd whispered into her swollen womb, vowing to end her before she ever saw the world. That voice, fractured by schizophrenia, tried to smother her life before it began, branding her existence an insolent wound that must be cut away. But in Jaeminâs arms, she discovered that breath could become a hymn, that lungs could fill not with fear but with sunrise. Heâs her healer and her harbor, the quiet hands that steady her wildest turns, the steadfast voice that calls her home when her own heartbeat quivers. Once her world was measured in the soft taps of tiny ballerina feet, Haeunâs eager kicks pressing bright hopes against from the inside of her motherâs belly, it was answered by cruel blows, fists hammering those hopeful walls, and poisoned pills that seeped through her veins before she ever drew breath. Each kick, a yearning for warmth and welcome, was met with pain and whispered curses, branding her an unwanted burden long before she could see the sky.Â
She had lain on that rooftop once, an unforgiving stretch of gravel and broken glass, where her mother pressed her down like a discarded doll and vanished into the night, the cityâs distant roar her only lullaby. Beneath a cold sky that offered no promise, the wind scraped across her tiny form, a cruel witness to a world so high and yet so achingly alone. Yet all of that has melted into memory now, replaced by sunlit mornings in Jaeminâs arms where the ache of old wounds dissolves beneath his gentle hands. He greets her first breath with a soft hymn of âGood morning, my baby girl,â pressing his palm over her scar as though sealing her fragile universe against every shadow. In that quiet communion, her heartbeat becomes more than survivalâa lyric he has memorized, each beat a vow that darkness will never claim her again. With the tenderness of dawn itself, he lifts her onto his hip and carries her to the window, draping a pastel quilt across her shoulders like morning mist. She leans in, cheek brushing cool glass, eyes wide as she watches dust motes drift through golden beams. a private constellation just for her. Then, with a mischievous glint in her eye, she reaches upward and he lifts her higher so her arms spread wide. âCatch the sunshine,â he whispers, and she giggles, the light pooling in her laughter, weightless and free. His own laughter follows, a warm ripple through the hush and in that single, sunlit moment, their two hearts entwine, radiant against the pale promise of a brand-new day.
Now, when dawn slips beneath the curtains, it finds her spinning barefoot on hardwood floors, small feet tapping like raindrops, laughter tumbling free in a melody pure enough to make grief shrink back into shadows. The room blooms with her light, bathed in honey-yellow warmth, and he watches from a distance, heâs never too far, eyes soft as he tracks her tiny orbit. Sheâs his white-winged dove, dancing on shafts of dawn that he gently coaxes into being, every flutter of her tiny feet a silent ballet across the floor he holds steadfast beneath her. In his arms, she becomes a ballerina in a sky of gold, spinning free because he is the quiet tide beneath her, the gardener of her every blossom, the steady tide that carries her laughter like petals in the wind. His fingertips trace invisible barres along her spine, guiding each unsteady pirouette, catching her at the slightest tremor so she never knows the sting of a misstep. Heâs both mirror and anchor: her reflection in his soft gaze and the sure shore to which her wildest leaps return. In that hushed intimacy, her breath warm against his chest, the soft coo of her coalescing joy, he finds his own rhythm, the echo of two hearts learning the same secret dance: that true safety is found not in unbroken floors, but in the embrace that steadies you when you dare to fly.
She is both blossom and sunâfragile yet radiant, always turning instinctively toward the calm certainty of his love. Like a sunflower rising and falling with each movement of the sky, her eyes seek his, brightening to match his smile, dimming gently into sleep beneath his patient whispers. Her joy pulls him like a tide, relentless and steady, and he submits willingly, the shore shaped entirely by her ebb and flow. Where once her body was fragile, uncertain beneath hospital wires and the cold hum of medical machines, now she blooms fiercely in soft cotton dresses, embroidered daisies stitched by patient hands, and bunny ears peeking shyly from rumpled blankets. Their home has become her garden, nurtured quietly by his tending: every small gesture a gardenerâs touch, careful, attentive, coaxing growth from soil that once felt barren.
It isnât the hospital monitors that kept her heart steady now, it's the way he folds her socks carefully in pairs, tiny and mismatched in colors that make her clap with delight; the way he pours her cereal gently into her favorite bunny bowl, letting her believe each scattered spill was perfect; the soft notes of lullabies he hums against the delicate curve of her back as she nestles into sleep, feeling at home in his arms. Her world is plastered in her art. endless sketches of Dada and Haeun hand in hand, ribboned hearts and sunbursts curling around their figures, each page a testament to the joy they share. On one especially proud morning, she unveiled a crayon masterpiece, letters wobbling with toddler earnestness: âDada Nana Jaemin and Baby Nana Haeun.â She needed a little help lining up the words, so he steadied her hand with gentle fingers, whispering each name as she traced it into being. That single drawing, taped above the kitchen sink, sings of their shared promise: two names, two hearts, sketched side by side in bright, uneven strokesâforever echoing the laughter and love that fill every corner of their sunlit home. She had saved him long before he ever knew she was his; a tiny heartbeat pulsing through his darkest hours, a silent promise that the sun would rise again. Now every morning he wakes, breathes her name, and returns the favor.
Jaeminâthe healer, the gardener, the tide; hands quiet yet strong enough to mend, soothe, and anchor. His love was not loud, but it is relentless, threading through their days with gentle insistence. He checks her pulse with instinctive care, fingertips soft against her small wrist, listening not for crisis but for reassurance, proof that sheâs truly safe. And sheâhis bloom, his ballerina, his bright-eyed sunflowerâmoves freely because he keeps her grounded, the constant gravity beneath her dance. The miracle was never that she was cured; it was that she grew at all, wild and sure, petals unfurling season after season beneath his tender gaze.
He doesnât raise her in silence but in careful, whispered symphonies: mornings bathed in golden sunlight filtering through curtains, tiny shoes lined crookedly by the door, one perpetually missing its partner; bunny dolls scattered across every room, worn and beloved, silent witnesses to the life she lives fiercely and loved. She has no memory of sterile rooms, harsh hands, cold stares, only the safety of her fatherâs arms, the rhythmic lull of his breath, the warmth of his lips against her scar, murmuring affirmations of bravery that make her chest swell with pride.
In every soft cradle of his hands, Jaemin tends the fragile promise of her life like a patient gardener coaxing a bud to unfold. His fingers trace the curve of her scar as tender as raindrops on new petals, and with each gentle touch, she unfurls a little moreâcheeks rounding into blooms of laughter, limbs stretching toward tomorrowâs light. The wonder isnât that she is curedâno surgeonâs stitch can grant that miracleâbut that under his unwavering care she grows, season by season, into a fearless flower in a world that once sought to trample her. Haeun turns to him as a sunflower greets dawn, her whole being seeking the warmth of his steady gaze. She glows in his presenceâbright as buttercup yellow against the grayest dayâbecause he is the sun he promised to be, rising without fail at the edge of every morning. And he, in turn, lives for the orbit of her joy: her smile a beacon that draws him from exhaustionâs shadows and sets him splendidly alight, each day begun anew by the radiance of her trust.
She moves through their home like an untamed waltz, every step a wild arc of delight that defies her tender age and frail beginnings. Yet at the moment her pirouette falters, his handsâsteady as mountain rootsâreach out to catch her, guiding her spin with invisible strings of devotion. In that interplay of freedom and safety, her dance becomes their shared choreography, her wild heart carried safely on the tether of his unwavering love. Their pulses draw them together in a silent orbit, two small worlds bound by the invisible pull of loveâs truest measure. Each thump of her mended heart echoes in his chest like a whispered vow, and every quiver of his own steady rhythm reassures her that she need never face the dark alone. They circle in perpetual motionâhe circling her delight, she circling his steadfastnessâuntil the space between them dissolves, and all that remains is the warm gravity of two hearts beating as one.
She never ponders the emptiness of a motherâs embrace, for in his arms she finds every warmth she could ever needâeach bedtime story whispered against her crown like a sacred incantation, every strand of hair braided by fingers that tremble only with devotion, each âdadaâ breathed in reverence as though it were her lifeline. Her triumphsâthe first unsteady totter across sunlit floors, the proud proclamation of her own name, the peals of laughter that follow the tickle of sea foam on her tiny toesâare his proof that miracles are born in the hush of ordinary moments. Jaemin hadnât planned this destiny, yet the role of her father settled around him as naturally as skin: fierce in his protection, unwavering in his claim, magnetic in the way his gaze maps every contour of her joy. There was never a moment when he felt unprepared; âIâm her dad,â he always says with deliberate pride, voice rich and certain, and in that single declaration he binds himself to her unseen scars and brightest smilesâhealer, guardian, and loving architect of her worldâforever. In that moment his possessiveness becomes a shield around her heartâa healerâs oath, a guardianâs embraceâperfectly tailored to the role he was born to fill.
Their days are marked by tenderness so palpable it settles like golden dust on every surface, each sunbeam catching the soft hum of their routines. Sticky notes cling to the fridgeââmilk, bunny snacks, new crayonsââwhile photographs crowd every shelf: sand speckling her curls at the edge of the tide, raincoat canaries splashing through puddles, the hush of afternoon naps with his stubble brushing her temple. Her laughter spills free and unmeasured by any heart monitor, gauged instead by the brilliant sparkle in her eyes, the rosy fullness of her cheeks, the fierce certainty with which she clings to warmth and wonder. They orbit one another like twin suns, each heartbeat a secret force pulling them ever closer into their shared daylight. Every morning arrives as a vow whispered in the hush of dawn, that shadows can be left behind, that healing arrives not only in medicineâs measured drops but in soft-spoken promises and gentle hands. She rises because his arms are unwavering; he breathes because her smile is unstoppable. In their perfect, private orbit, grief fades into legend, replaced by the glow of a sunrise they kindle together. And though she remains a fragile, still-sick infantâher world threaded through daily doses and careful checksâlove endures as their truest balm, the most potent healer of all.
The night Jaemin carries her across the apartment threshold is thinner than paper, so quiet it seems the walls themselves hold their breath to keep from startling the life bundled against his chest. Only hours earlier fluorescent lights had carved harsh angles across the NICU, alarms blinking like erratic stars, but here the hush feels padded, a space softened purely for her. She doesnât cryânot once. She only blinks up at him from the muslin blanket heâs swaddled her in, eyes wide and moon-bright, as though she already knows this is where her story begins again. He lays his cheek to her downy crown and murmurs, âThis is home now, baby girl. No one ever leaves you again.â The promise tastes like salt on his lips; he sets her on the center of his bed because nothing else feels good enough, clicks on the night-light, and sinks to the hardwood beside her. For months after, he sleeps there on the floor, body curled toward hers, shadow learning to orbit her shape the way gravity bends to a star.
In a heartbeat his life reroots itself around her tiny pulse. The revolving door of late-night shifts, faceless bodies, and the anesthetic haze of barroom shots slams shut; liquor drains down the sink, pills flush away in a swirl, and the phone numbers that once cluttered his call log delete themselves like ghosts. He trades silk sheets for cotton crib sheets, echoing hallways for lullaby-soft rooms. He wakes to midnight squeaks instead of alarms, scribbles feeding times on Post-its in place of surgery times, and swaps designer cologne for the faint vanilla of baby lotion. Yet none of it feels like sacrificeâonly relief, the ease of stepping into clothes he mustâve been born for.
The first dawn after brings a hush so luminous it almost hurts. He stands over her crib long before sunrise bronzes the blinds, tears pricking when he realizes the tiny rise and fall of her breathing belongs to him. When her eyes flutter open, he vows againâquiet, sure, irrevocableâto be healer, guardian, everything. Her fist curls around one of his fingers; for the first time since med-school cadavers and late-night code blues, his hands tremble. On the second night, Jaeminâs front lock clicks and in strides Lee Jeno, suitcase rolling behind him, expecting nothing more than a couch and catch-up beers. Jaemin opens the door with swollen, sleepless eyes and a tiny girl balanced on his arm, her face bright with a gummy grin. âSheâs mine,â he chokes out, voice shredded by awe. Jenoâs breath stalls; shock drains the color from his knuckles where his grip tightens on the suitcase handle. Haeunâstill so new, still so innocentâreaches out and seizes Jenoâs offered finger with startling strength. In that instant the apartmentâs thin hush swells with something unnameable.
Jeno sinks to his knees, throat working around words that wonât come. âHowâŠ?â he starts, tears glassing his lashes as she coos at the stranger sheâs already decided to adore. Jaemin folds to the floor beside him and spills the entire impossible litany. For a year he felt the silent tug of a childâs presence in his life, an invisible orbit he couldnât name, only to learn later that the unseen pull had always been his own daughterâs. How heâd doubted whether he was even her father, but the moment the test came back positive, relief seeped into him like dawn breaking through night. How legal storms finally broke open, papers signed in midnight ink, how the cardiology files are thicker than her storybooks. He speaks of her heartâs zigzag scar, the medications timed like metronomes, the surgeries penciled in for seasons that havenât arrived. Jeno listens, palm cupped protectively beneath her slipper-soft head, and when Haeun gurgles her approval his composure fractures: a wet laugh, a soft sob, the glaze of saline on her tiny brow where his tears fall.
Finally he whispers, voice hoarse, âWhy does she look like my ex girlfriend?â The name, his lost love, his unopened letter, hangs brittle in the air. Jaeminâs shoulders cave; he tells of the mother whose mind ruptured into shadows, who called the child a parasite and tried to drown her future in pills and fists. He recounts a rooftopâs cracked tar where her newborn lungs first tasted sky, and the silent vow he made when he found her: never again.
The apartment stills around them, the hush broken only by Haeunâs shy coo. Jeno, gathering himself, extends a gentle hand. âMay I hold her?â he asks, voice soft as apology.
At first she hesitates, little brows knitting as she peers up at Jaemin, as if seeking permission in his steady gaze. Then, with a tiny nod and an uncertain âDa?â she accepts. Jeno lifts her into his arms and she perches on his knee, curls brushing his collar, eyes wide as she studies the man who is now her âUncle Nono.â Her laughter sparkles free when he tickles her ribs, a sudden bell of delight, and she babbles âNono! Nono!â before leaning forward to bury her face in his shoulder.
Jaemin watches with a tender smile, then begins to introduce his daughter in the proud, loving way of a father who cannot contain his devotion. âThis is Nana Haeun,â he says, voice rich with warmth. âSheâs one year and one month old, already she stands steady on her own two feet, though she still totters when sheâs very excited. She loves blueberries more than anything, they stain her lips purple, and she refuses peas every time, scrunching up her nose until you pick them off her plate. Her favorite toy is Bunny, the scruffy rabbit you see peeking from her sleeve, and she insists on bringing him everywhere, even to the kitchen for pancakes.â
He leans closer, brushing a lock of hair from her forehead. âShe has a habit of humming to herself when sheâs concentrating, on stacking blocks or turning pages in her booksâand sheâs fascinated by birds. Whenever one chirps outside the window, she freezes and whispers âtweet-tweetâ under her breath.â His eyes glisten as he adds, âHer laughter is like sunshine after rain, and she gives the best hugs, arms wrapped so tight you canât help but feel sheâll never let go. Sheâs brave, even when her chest feels tired, and sheâs already learned to tell me every time something hurts.Â
Jaeminâs voice softens to that fond, almost reverent register he reserves only for her. âSheâs absolutely wild for yellow,â he begins, brushing a curl from her brow. âSunflower dresses, rubber ducks, banana slices, the whole world has to glow for her. She points at anything canary-bright and says, âYew-yow!â like itâs the greatest revelation on earth.â Haeun nods solemnly, as though confirming the report, then twists so she can peek up at the kitchen wall where her crayon masterpiece glows in golden scribbles. âAnd sheâs already a dancer,â Jaemin continues, pride blooming warm beneath his ribs. âSaturday mornings we go to a toddler ballet class, tiny barre, tinier tutus. She copies every pliĂ©, even if her knees wobble, and bows at the end like sheâs on the grandest stage.â Haeun responds with a shy flourish of her free hand, then giggles when Jeno pretends to applaud, whispering, âEncore, princess.â
âMovie nights are sacred,â Jaemin adds, eyes crinkling. âBarbie and the 12 Dancing Princesses, Barbie Swan Lake, Barbie Princess Charm School, she chants the lines under her breath, claps when the credits roll, then begs, âAgain, Dada!â We make popcorn, though half of it ends up in her lap because sheâs too busy reciting dialogue.âÂ
Haeun nods vigorously, parroting, âBaw-bie!â before leaning into Jenoâs chest with a sleepy hum.
Jaeminâs tone grows gentle. âShe loves cuddles, tooâproper koala hugs that last forever. If I try to put her down before sheâs finished, she does this wounded little gasp.â He demonstrates, drawing a hand to his chest and widening his eyes in mock heartbreak. Haeun copies the gesture with a tiny dramatic sigh, which makes Jeno erupt in quiet laughter. âSheâs always been brave in water,â Jaemin goes on, âso I started teaching her to swim at the hospital hydro-therapy pool. She kicks like a tadpole, keeps her chin above the surface, and squeals âsplash!â until weâre both soaked.â He pauses, thumb smoothing the edge of her sleeve. âShe sleeps through the night now, nine hours straight, can you believe it? But those first two monthsâŠâ His gaze drifts, shadowed by memory. âShe woke every two hours, gasping, chest aching. I used to sing until the pain eased, then dose her medicine and pace the room until dawn.â
Jaemin straightens, warmth returning to his expression. âDaily meds are still a mustâdigoxin in the morning, furosemide after lunchâbut she takes them like a champ. We chase each dose with a sip of sunny-yellow mango juice; that part she adores.â He chuckles. âAnd she counts everything. Steps, stickers, kisses. Yesterday she gave me nine smooches and told me, âTen tomowwow!â as if love is just another milestone to tackle.â
It takes Haeun scarcely a breath to decide that Jeno belongs inside the small, sun-soaked circle of her heartâshe gauges goodness by the steadiness of a voice, by the gentleness of arms that wrap without squeezing, and in him she feels only softnessâso she scoots higher against his chest, cheek resting over the thunder of a strangerâs heartbeat that already sounds like home. Jeno eases one broad palm along her back, eyes bright as he introduces himself in a whisper thick with wonder. âIâm your Uncle Jeno, sweetheart. I'm your Daddyâs best friend since we were barely taller than your bunny. We used to race bikes till our knees turned to bruised peaches, we shared lockers, secrets, and every dream we own, and now my biggest dream is to watch you grow.â He vows to be the giant who slings her onto his shoulders at parades, the steady anchor beside her daddy during long hospital nights, the supplier of endless yellow crayons when hers wear to hopeful stubs, and the keeper of spare bunnies in case the original gets too loved to hop. He promises to be the shoulder she can nap on during long hospital waits, the giant who lifts her high enough to steal kisses from clouds. He tells her she is the greatest surprise a life can deliver, a gift wrapped in sunrise and ribboned with courage, and he vows, under his breath so only she can hear, that no shadow will ever touch her while he stands guard. When each pledge he tickles her ribs until soft hiccup-giggles bubble up; he counts them like free-throw swishes, grinning when she clamps his thumb in her tiny fist and coos at him.Â
âI travel a lot because I play basketball in the big, shiny NBA, but every flight will bring me back to you. Iâll send postcards from every city, teach you to dribble when your legs are ready, and cheer louder than anyone each time your brave heart beats another milestone.â He promises postcards splashed with city skylines, miniature jerseys stitched with her name, courtside tickets the moment she can sit still for four quarters (or at least two). âYouâre the most precious, most beautiful girl ever, you know that? Iâm going to love you so much itâll make the stars jealous. Now, can you say âUncle Jenoâ for me, princess?â She furrows her brow in fierce concentration, tongue poking the corner of her mouth, and after a heartbeat of determined silence declares, âUnca⊠Nono!!ââthe mispronunciation is a triumphant bell that rings straight through his chest and seals the promise forever.
The moment Jeno settles on the couch, Haeun is already shimmying across his lap, tiny feet pattering like raindrops on soft carpet. She flings her arms around his neck and chirps, âUnca No-no!â in a voice so bright it feels like sunshine. He scoops her up and she giggles, âHee-hee, No-no hug!ââwords tumbling over each other as she buries her cheek in his stubbled jaw. Jenoâs laughter rumbles through her like a gentle drum, and she peers up at him with wide, trusting eyes.
âDo you like tickles, princess?â he teases, fingers poised.Â
She clasps her hands together, nodding twice, and coos, âNo-no tickle me, pwetty pwease!â The plea is so earnest that he canât resist. His fingertips dance over her ribs and she squeals, âI wuv you, No-no!â between bursts of laughter, then commands, âKissy time, No-no, mwah!â pressing a sticky peck to his cheek.
He responds with a gentle smooch atop her head, murmuring, âI love you more, Haeun.â She stretches up to catch another kiss, then snuggles closer. âMore cuddle, No-no!â she demands, snuggling into the crook of his arm as if sheâs always belonged there. When he tries to shift away for a moment, she tugs his collar, giggling, âAgain, No-no! Again!ââand he leans back into her pull with a soft sigh of delight.
Jaeminâs throat tightens and his eyes brim as he watches Haeun nestle against Jenoâs chestâher world blooming wider with every laugh they share. She senses the swell of his emotion and lifts Bunny, tapping her velveteen paw gently on Jaeminâs nose. âDada happy,â she declares with baby certainty, bright eyes never leaving him. Then she turns and pokes Jenoâs cheek, cooing, âNo-no happy!â Her smile deepens as she traces her finger over her own heart. âAnd Hae-hae happy!â she adds, voice ringing like tiny bells, and in that gilded moment both men exhale softly, hearts full to bursting.
Jaemin presses a gentle palm to Haeunâs back and murmurs into the hush, âSheâs the most loving girl Iâve ever known, once she decides youâre hers, you hold her heart forever. She doesnât waste a moment: she knows good people by their kindness, and her instincts are never wrong.â Haeun lifts her head, eyes bright as moonlit dew, and peers between the two menïżœïżœïżœUncle Nonoâs warm grin and Daddyâs steady gazeâthen snuggles closer to Jeno, patting his chest with a solemn âSafe⊠safe.â Jenoâs fingers drift through her curls as he whispers, âYouâre the sweetest little one, Haeun. Youâre making me want to be a daddy now.â
Haeunâs eyelids droop as she nestles deeper into Jenoâs arms, the soft glow of the living room wrapping around them like a blanket. Above the coffee machine, a chart of medications stands guard; yellow sticky notes remind them to buy fresh crayons, and a stack of ballet shoes waits patiently by the door for tomorrowâs dance. She yawns, forming a perfect little âO,â then tucks her head beneath Jenoâs jaw and murmurs, âNight-night, No-no.â
He brushes a kiss across her forehead and whispers, âGood night, my princess,â voice warm as honey. He and Jaemin share a glance, Jenoâs eyes glisten in the fading light. âSheâs perfect, you know,â he breathes.
Jaeminâs heart bruises with gratitude as he watches his best friendâs finger traced gently along the soft curve of her cheek, Jeno murmuring promises of beaches and birthday balloons while she blinks up, entranced. The three of them stay like that until moonlight curls through the window, Jeno rocking her with doctor-steady hands, Jaemin steadying Jeno with his own. Somewhere between those breaths, Haeun drifts into sleep, safe between healer and brother, the world outside shrinking to the quiet thunder of two men learning what it means to love a fragile universe more than themselves. Jaeminâs nod is quiet but resolute. âSheâs more than perfect.â And in the soft stillness that follows, Haeunâs gentle, even breathing fills the room, a reminder that sometimes the greatest miracles curl up in your arms, small and fragrant as mango juice and sunrise, teaching you that love can rebuild worlds.
By the time Haeun turns two, Uncle Nono has settled into her world as surely as sunrise. When Daddyâs pager chirps at dawn or the weight of night shifts pulls Jaemin into the hospitalâs hum, Jeno swoops in, cape optional, but always present, in a flurry of laughter and pastel balloons. He whisks her out on âdatesâ that feel as grand as any gala: trips to the corner bakery where she perches atop the counter stool, sugar-dusted cheeks pressed against the glass, declaring each pastry âjust rightâ before he buys her a strawberry tart. They wander through the park on golden afternoons, Jenoâs giant hand cradling her small grip as she toddles over sunlit paths, stopping to examine every snail trail like itâs the worldâs greatest wonder. On rainy days they build fortress cities on the living room floor, she barks commands in her baby-soldier voice, âno-no, we need more pillows!â while he salutes with a stuffed bunny and bows to her with theatrical flair. When Daddy finally breaks away from the hospital lights to join them, he finds Haeun perched in Jenoâs lap, curly head tipped back in gleeful abandon, eyes shining with the simple trust of a child who knows love has many arms.
She adores him without reservation, her second-favorite person only behind the strong rhythm of Jaeminâs heartbeat, and each reunion is an event. The moment she spies him through the front door, she squeaks âUnca Nono!â and launches herself into his open arms, tiny legs kicking as though she could fly. She plants a sticky kiss on his cheek, delivered with the solemnity of her own âhello, my boyfwen!ââand his laughter rumbles through her like a joyous promise. Jaemin watches with a mock glare that softens at the corners; this is the purest proof that her heart has room for more than one home. Even in the quiet of bedtime, she clutches Jenoâs hand as he tucks her in, babbling about tomorrowâs âbakey dateâ and âpawk walk,â and he strokes her brow while whispering, âSleep now, my sunshine,â weaving a lullaby that carries her seamlessly between worlds. In every shared glance, in every crumb of cookie handed across the table, their bond deepens, a testament to how fiercely a child can love, and how joy multiplies when hearts open wide.
Fatherhood slips over Jaemin like a name heâs worn all his life. He never hesitates when paperwork asks for relation; he writes father in bold, black strokes, no trembling pen, no half-apology. During rounds he introduces himself with steady pride: âIâm Dr. Na, and this is my daughter, Haeun.â He offers no elaborate backstory when curious residents fish for gossip, just a soft shrug and, âSheâs my miracle,â because what else could explain how perfectly the title fits? It glints on his tongue brighter than any academic honor, shields him fiercer than any white coat, and he carries it the way a lighthouse carries flame. steady, undeflected by wind or doubt.Â
Love remakes her daily: she isnât cured but she gleams. Her cheeks are plump with color, lips a soft rose, eyes forever laughing as though every moment is worth celebrating twice. Each dawn he lifts her shirt and traces the silver scar across her chest, whispering, âStrong girl.â She squirms and gigglesââTickles, Dada!ââbut lets him finish the ritual because she knows it hurts him more to skip it than her to endure it. A milestone board beside the fridge testifies to their victories in bright marker: âI said Dada 10 times!â âI walked to the elevator by myself!â âI read Bunny Book!â Photographs crowd the walls, her curls salted with beach sand, the first crayon portrait labeled âme & dada,â tiny paint-smeared footprints meandering across a canvas they forgot to hang. Home is a living scrapbook, and she is its radiant center.
Beyond the front door their adventures bloom. At the park she flings fistfuls of sand while he feigns outrage, chases her until she squeals, then kneels to kiss the âwarrior boo-boosâ on her knees. At the beach she rides his back through foamy shallows, buries his feet to the ankles, and squeals when he wiggles free to tickle her toes. Bedtime is a hush of lamp-light and heartbeat; she drapes herself across his chest, small fist tangled in his shirt, and he hums until her breaths lengthen and her lashes flutter shut. Rainy days bring matching yellow raincoats and the percussion of puddle-splash; she insists on holding the umbrella though it drifts sideways, leaving them both drenched and grinning. And on quiet nights they sprawl across the living-room floor, crayons scattered like stardust. She draws a lopsided heart wrapped in silver scribbles, two stick figures holding hands beneath it, and turns luminous eyes to him: âDada, look! Is us, me and you fowever.âÂ
Morning unfurls in honeyed ribbons exactly the way it always does, tracing the same sacred route through their apartment as if it, too, has learned the ritual. Light pauses first on the gallery of frames spilling off the bookshelf, yesterdayâs fingerprints still smudging the glass, then glances across the rug where toys arrange themselves like familiar constellations, and finally lingers on the bunny-eared sippy cup forever half-tipped in its orbit, the sticky crescent of last nightâs juice already part of the dĂ©cor. Right on cue, Haeun streaks barefoot down the hallway, arms flared like a kite catching its favorite wind; Jaemin is already crouched, palms open, ready to receive the daily twirl that ends with her laughter filling the hollow beneath his collarbone. He breathes her delight, presses his nose to the downy spot behind her ear, and whispers the line that begins every day: âMy ballerina.â Her answerââDada spin too!ââis the invocation, so he rises, hoisting her skyward, and the room seems built to revolve around that single orbit.
Their days unfurl as a living montage: at the park she flings sand that clings to her legs, shrieking when he chases her in slow-motion villainy; when she tumbles, he kisses âwarrior boo-boosâ and calls her the fiercest knight in the kingdom. At the beach she rides his back in the shallows, tiny arms locked around his neck, while he teaches her to spot shells and let the sea tickle her toes. Evenings drift into quiet story-time: she sprawls across his lap, head pillowed on his chest, fist tangled in his shirt while his voice threads through pages; before the final sentence her lashes still and her breathing steadies, proof that the safest harbor is still the rhythm of his heart. Later, when she toddles off to bed, he lingers over her lone baby shoe by the door, marveling that yesterdayâs fragile infant is todayâs fearless explorer, and that every âagain, dada, again!â is a summons he is forever ready to answer.
From there the choreography never falters. At the table he balances her chart beside his coffee while she decorates his knee with green crayon dinosaurs; she hums the morningâs wordless anthem, and he threads gentle fingers through her curls, counting her pulse the way other people count blessings. Dressing is its own ceremony: she stands atop the bedspread, a benevolent monarch, while he presents two tiny shoes like precious offerings, âyellow or blue today, bug?â She slams her heel into the sun-bright pair, decree sealed, and he responds with the ritual kiss to her ankle, the same kiss reserved for future scrapes, sleepy fevers, midnight fears. Noon brings the kitchen rite: she âcooksâ lunch, smearing yogurt across his nose, sending berries skittering underfoot, their shared laughter ringing like a bell that signals the hour. And when the light finally tilts toward afternoon, both of them are flushed and breathless, sipping water that tastes of contentment, secure in the rhythm of a day that never hurries, never stumbles, only repeatsâperfect, familiar, unbreakable.
Haeunâs bedroom is a dawn-colored dream stitched from every shade she adores: cotton-candy pink dusts the walls in a watercolor wash, butter-yellow stripes climb toward a ceiling hung with tiny mirrored stars, and a tulle canopy as soft as spun sugar billows around her miniature four-poster bed. A ballet bar gleams beneath the window, its rose-gold bracket looping like ribbon, and pale wooden toy chests hide beneath scalloped skirts of fabric that whisper whenever morning breezes stray through the crack of the door. Plush ballerinas pirouette across framed prints, their tutus the exact blush of her favorite hair bows; even the night-lightâshaped like a tiny moon in a field of tulipsâglows the faintest peach at dawn, as if warming itself before she wakes. Here every detail is scaled to her wonder: the sun-splash rug that cushions bare feet, the low bookshelf where picture books stand with covers facing outward like pleased smiles, the cloud-shaped table forever dusted in rainbow crayons, and always Bunny, lounging royally beside her pillow, ears tagged with velvet bows that match todayâs sunrise.
Across from her canopy, a low window seat brims with heartâshaped pillows, one yellow as buttercups, another pink as cotton candy, each embroidered with her name in looping toddler script. Tucked between them sits her grand, personalized music box. an opulent gift from Daddy after her first one shattered, its mother-of-pearl inlay and rose-gold filigree catching the dawn as she lifts the lid and lets her favorite lullaby spill out in tinkling waves. A row of glass jars lines the sill, each filled with colored sand she pinched from beach tripsâemerald green, sunrise orange, blush pinkâand she sometimes presses her fingers through the cork to feel the grains slip through her pudgy toes. Beneath the rose-gold ballet barre, her quilted patchwork bedspread slips across the daisied rug, each square stitched from Daddyâs old scrubs and the softest satin scraps, so every nap feels like a hug stitched by his hands. In one corner stands her play doctorâs kit, its tiny stethoscope coiled around a painted wooden heart. where she practices checking Bunnyâs pulse as if she already knows that saving lives can begin with a single, careful âboom-boom.âÂ
Behind the door, a measuring chart marks her height in cheerful scribbles beside a lock of hair from her very first birthday, a golden whisper of âgrow strong, grow braveâ that she tugs at on mornings when she needs a little reminder of just how far sheâs come. Lastly, just beyond a scalloped archway stands her walk-in wardrobe, a pastel haven hung with tiny wooden hangers, where rows of frilly dresses, twirl-worthy tulle skirts, and her favorite sunflower-yellow pinafores sit ready for her dayâs adventures. Each garment bears a story: polka-dot pockets for collecting dandelions, lace trims for moonlit tea parties, and pockets deep enough for Bunny to hide when heâs feeling shy. In this perfect little world, every morningâs first stretch and sunrise greeting becomes a celebration of the sweetest, bravest two-year-old ever to call it home.
She doesnât always wake up here; most mornings find her toddling down the hall before daylight, curls bouncing as she seeks the comfort of Dadaâs chest for their routine dawn cuddle. Today her dreams hold her still beneath the canopy. tiny fists curled, cheek pressed to Bunnyâs velveteen ear, until a hush of motion lifts across the room. Jaemin eases the door wider, and pale golden light trickles in behind him; he pauses to drink in the lullaby hush, then draws the heavy curtains an inch or two, just enough for one slender blade of sunlight to slip across her quilt like a soft trumpet call. Dust motes swirl lazily, catching on the pink glow of the walls, and he stands there for a beat, letting the day breathe around her. When he finally crosses the rug, his footsteps are quieter than the flutter of her lashes. He kneels, gentle fingertips smoothing the damp ringlets at her hairline. then lowers his forehead to hers, warmth meeting warmth. âMy princess,â he whispers, voice low as cello strings, âitâs morning time, baby, time to open your beautiful eyes.â The words slip into her dream like a soft feather.
She stirs beneath the tulle canopy, eyelashes brushing her cheeks like the softest butterfly wings before her eyes flicker open, revealing pools of dawn-gold that shimmer with last nightâs dreams. Her lashes tremble against the gentle swell of rosy sleep, and her lips purse into the tiniest pout before blossoming into a giggly grin. cheeks dimpled, mouth curving like a tulip greeting the sun. One pudgy hand reaches up to sift her honeyed curls from her forehead, the other clutching Bunnyâs velvet ear as if it were her morning anchor, and she lets out a sleepy yawn that sounds half sigh, half song. Then, with all the wonder of a new sunrise, she breathes, âGooâ moâninâ, Dada, my bwight, bwight Dada!â in a voice so sweet it tastes like vanilla on his skin. Her toes wiggle beneath the quilt, nudging the canopyâs ribbons into a lazy pirouette, and before he can answer she adds with bubbly excitement, âKissy time!ââtiny arms shooting up to pull his face close. Jaemin canât help but smile as he cups her soft cheeks and tilts her head, pressing a feather-light kiss to her rosy lips; she giggles against him, eyes crinkling with happiness, and buries her face in his chest, warm as sunshine, while the promise of another perfect morning dances between them.
Jaemin eases open the blackout curtains just enough for dawn to drip across the nursery like warm honey, then sinks to his knees beside her bed. He lifts her covers just enough for cool air to brush her ankles, and she squeaks at the tickle, clutching his sleeve in tiny fists, letting out a breathy âeek!â Sunlight slides along the curve of her cheek, gilding the soft down of baby hair that refuses to stay tucked; it glimmers on the faint line of her chest scar, the only thing in this pastel kingdom carved from something harder than cotton and delight. Jaemin, ever the morning healer, reaches for the stethoscope resting on her nightstand, its tubing coiled like a sleeping serpent, bell still chilled from night air, and, as he does each dawn, warms the metal between his palms first.
She watches, bright eyes wide, already anticipating the ritual which never fails to steal his breath. Without prompting she scoots up, presses Bunny to one side as if granting the plush a front-row seat, and lifts her pajama collar to reveal the quick crescendo of her heartbeat. He positions the diaphragm with reverence, and the room stillsâbrushing hair from her temple, he closes his eyes, letting that delicate boom-boom thread through the tubing and straight into his own chest. The second he listens feel like small eternities: the uneven cadence is still there, the gentle lilt he knows by ear, but it is stronger this morningâsteady enough that he smiles before he even realizes it. She inhales sharply at the stethoscopeâs gentle weight, then, in her earnest toddler tone, murmurs, âMy heart owie a bit now, Dada,â and he feels a swell of both concern and pride that sheâs learned so well to tell him whenever she feels unsure.
She sees the curve of his mouth and giggles, cheeks pink from pillow warmth. âBoom-boom good, Dada?â she asks, the words feather-soft at the edges yet crystal in their hope.
He taps her sternum once, warm as sunrise, and murmurs, âBest boom-boom in the whole wide world. But what do you do if Iâm not with you but your boom-boom hurts and you feel an ouch?â
Haeunâs brow furrows in earnest thought, her chubby finger drifting to her lower lip as she emits a soft âMmmâŠâ that ripples through the golden hush. Her lashes flutter, eyes scrunching in concentration, and then she brightens as if a spark has flickered to life: she claps a hand over her heart and declares, âTell big helper! Call Dada, come quickââChest owwie! Dada come, Hae-hae need you! Pwease, my Dada! Huwwy up!ââ Her triumphant gasp of memory echoes across the pink walls, and Jaeminâs smile blooms, pride and relief weaving through every beat of that precious little heart.
His answering laugh is half joy, half ache; he tickles the side of her ribs in reward, coaxing another ripple of bright sound from her throat as she claps Bunnyâs paws together in delight. âCorrect, my smart baby girl,â he murmurs, planting a kiss just below her eye where a sunbeam lands, and she claps again, curls bouncing like yellow ribbon.
Jaemin watches as Haeun lifts the cold bell of the stethoscope to her chin, tiny fingers tracing the spiral of tubing with rapt concentration before she presses it to her ear and murmurs âsiss-topo?â in a wobbling toddler lilt, only to break into delighted giggles when the word tumbles out all wrong. Her lashes flutter in the morning light as she shrugs one rounded shoulder, then bats the earpieces against her collarbone, creating a soft, hollow clatter that sends another ripple of laughter through her cheeks. When her plump hand drifts to his jaw and tugs gently, her bottom lip pops into an urgent pout, those bright eyes pleading in wordless insistence and she coos, âHae hae want ânother kiss!â in a sing-song voice that makes his chest ache with love. He leans forward, brushing the pads of his thumbs over her warm cheeks before planting kisses on the tip of her nose, the crown of her forehead, and finally, her smiling lips, each one a soft promise that he will always be her safe harbor. All the while, Haeun wraps her arms around his neck with gummy-toothed abandon, sighing contentedly against the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat as the tender hush that follows feels more alive than any lullaby.
Then, with all the solemn pride her two-year-old world can muster, she straightens, plumps her little chin, and begins her litany of morning truths: âHae-hae so smart, bootiful, so smowtâlike Dada says!â She pats the faint line of her scar with one hand and beams, âHae-haeâs hea-heart is good and strong, boom-boom go boom-boom all day!â Her voice dips into a whisper as she cups her chest scar and adds, âHae-haeâs owie on hea-heart is so bootiful, like a shiny staw,â then lifts Bunny for emphasis and chirrups, âDada lubs me, Hae-hae lubs Dada! Hae-hae tell Dada when owwie come!â Each declaration tumbles out in toddler liltâmispronounced, endearing, absoluteâwoven from every promise Jaemin has ever whispered in her ear.
Jaeminâs heart swells until he can barely keep his voice steady; he sweeps her into his arms and presses a kiss to her temple where the scar sleeps, murmuring into the golden hush, âThe smartest, loveliest princess with the bravest heart, always remember that.â She giggles, arms tightening around his neck as he rocks her gently, and he presses another kiss to her forehead before tickling the soft curve of her ribs in reward. âMy favourite girl,â he whispers, voice rich with wonder, and she responds with a triumphant clap, curls bobbing like petals in a breeze, while the morning light bathes them both in the promise of every boom-boom still to come.
Jaemin slips from the roomâs pastel glow and crosses the hall to his study, where two amber bottles stand like sentinels of her survival, one brimming with furosemide syrup, her âwater pillâ to keep little feet from swelling, the other holding digoxin elixir, his violet-tinted âheart helperâ for mornings she needs extra strength. He lifts each bottle in turn, the glass cooling against his palm, and draws two plastic oral syringes into his waiting fingers. Between his hands, he rolls them slowly until the plastic hums with warmth, a ritual honed from months of dawns when nothing mattered more than the gentle promise of medicine.
He returns to find Haeun in the midst of a royal medical inspection, Bunny seated on the daisied rug, one earpiece pressed against plush velvet as she declares, âBoop-boop, Bunny heart go boom-boom?â Her jaw parts in a breathy âooh,â every gasp a secret shared with the golden morning light. Her lashes tremble, unveiling eyes round and bright as though sheâs hearing sunrise for the very first time, while tiny fists fly up to her cheeks in sheer delight. Even from the other room, a babbly âWah, Dada⊠I wuv Dada,â slips free, her whole face aglow in worship of his return.
He kneels among her court of bunnies and smooths a curl from her forehead. âReady for your heart medicine, my brave girl?â he murmurs, voice soft as spun sugar. She pulls in a trembling breath and nods fiercely, tiny chin jutting with resolve as she presses her lips together in a determined line, all the while her nose wrinkles at the memory of the bitter tastes. In that moment he sees her courage, eyelashes brushing her cheeks as she summons every scrap of bravery sheâs ever learned from his gentle whispers, yet her quivering shoulders betray how âyuckyâ the medicine truly is. Still, she perches there, a perfect angel of composure, because she knows itâs important. Sheâs his good baby: never a fuss, never a tear, simply obedient and brave, understanding that every measured drop is a promise of more laughter, more play, more mornings just like this one.
Jaemin lifts her chin and guides the first drop of furosemide onto her tongue; she opens wide, trusting him like morning trusts the sun, then gulps it down, the bitter syrup sliding warm through her throat. She grimaces, a small gasp, a momentary shudder, before he follows with the digoxin elixir: psshh, psstâeach drop counted on his breath so she can hear him: âOne⊠two⊠three⊠all done.â She presses a hand to her chest and lets out a tiny gag; her nose wrinkles, but when he whispers, âIn a few minutes, fruit and fluffy pancakes, I promise,â her eyes light up at the sweet reward, and the tension in her shoulders melts.
Moments later, she tilts her head back, curls bouncing, and beams with triumphant pride: âAll done! Hae-hae strong!â Her small chest pulses beneath his palm, the âboom-boomâ steadier now, but still a reminder that this ritual will return at midday and again at dusk.Â
He brushes a kiss to her forehead and whispers, âGood girl, my strongest girl,â even as his own heart trembles with relief and the unspoken fear of days yet to come.
She taps the pale ribbon of skin, tiny brows knitting in earnest hope as her voice trembles through the sanctuary of dawn: âOwie gone? Dada, no more owie? I all better now?â Each word hovers between them like a fragile prayer, and Jaeminâs throat constricts, he gulps, tasting love and fear intertwined in that moment. He leans in, pressing a feather-light kiss to her questioning finger before she can slip it away, voice husky with devotion.Â
He answers, âNo more owie, babyâyouâre all better.â He brushes a fingertip beneath her chin. Even as relief blooms in her bright eyes, his heart clenches at the cost behind every promise. He wishes with all his being that a single drop of syrup could erase the truth of midday appointments, the ritual of three daily doses, the specter of future surgeries waiting in the wings. Yet here she sitsâhis angel of innocenceâbelieving wholeheartedly that medicineâs measured drop can mend what life has carved for her with a surgeonâs blade. He marvels at her faith, at the simple purity of her thought: that love and elixir might stitch her heart whole. Drawing her close, he murmurs into the curve of her ear, âDaddyâs here, always.â And for her, that vow is as potent as any cure.
His tone turns serious, the playfulness falling away like petals at dusk. âBut if your chest ever feels funnyâburny, tight, or soreâyou remember what to do, my love?â He asks this question every morning, every evening, and sometimes in the middle of the afternoon, because he knows all too well how a simple misstep in communication can become a childâs last mistake. As the chief of pediatrics, heâs watched young, innocent patients slip away when symptoms went unspoken, when a childâs whisper of âmy chest hurtsâ was mistaken for a fleeting ache. He thinks of the burning chest pains that herald fluid overload, the fluttering tremor that signals an arrhythmia, the dull âowieâ at the temples that might mean dehydration or a fever creeping in. With Haeun, itâs different: itâs his daughter heâs saving, and his attachment is woven from both his white-coat vigilance and a fatherâs fierce love. He needs her to know, deep in her little heart, that no pang is too small to voiceâthat every twinge is a signal he wants to catch before it becomes something bigger.
She watches him, eyelashes trembling like the wings of a butterfly, then nods so earnestly her curls bob in agreement. âIf chest burnâ I need tell someone fast, âkay!â She repeats in her precious toddler lilt, her words halting but resolute. âIf head owie, tell big helper,â she adds, recalling how he taught her that even a bump or a bruise must never go unspoken.
He cups her shoulders, voice gentle but unwavering, âExactly, my brave girl. You tell me, always.â In that moment, the room seems to pulse with unspoken vows: that medicine, though measured in milliliters, is only half the remedy, and that her own voice, taught and cherished, is the truest safeguard of all.
He shifts in the glow of morning light, his fingertips drifting to the pale ribbon of scar tracing her sternum, and for a heartbeat he simply watches the gentle rise and fall beneath his touchâeach subtle ridge a testament to every battle sheâs already won. The world quiets to the soft brush of downy hair against his palm as he leans closer, his breath warm and steady, and places a feather-light kiss along the scarâs curve, savoring the smoothness of healed skin and the miracle it marks. Haeunâs eyelashes flutter at the contact, and she offers him a sleepy smile, the corners of her mouth tilting into the tender promise of another dawn. He murmurs into the hush, âI love every bit of you,â then trails his lips to her collarbone in a soft vow, his heart full of awe for the smallest, strongest girl he will ever know
His own pulse stumbles at every tiny hitch he hears but he lets her laughter braid through the quiet, slowly the anxious flutter in his chest begins to mimic her delight. When the novelty fades he draws the cloth aside, tracing the slender scar that runs beneath the neckline of her pajamas with a feather-soft fingertip. âThis line,â he whispers, âis where Daddy helped fix your heart; it means youâre the strongest girl I know, it means you can run so fast and play so fast, too,â each word a prayer wrapped in the certainty she trusts first and he chooses to believe second.
She presses her tiny fists against her ribs, eyes lighting up with understanding as she whispers in her toddling lilt, âIt also mean I can wuv Dada, my bunnies, Nana and Papa and Uncle Nono, it mean I no broken heart, I wuv wuv wuv!â Her voice tumbles over itself in a rush of declarations, each âwuvâ a golden echo in the pastel hush.
Jaeminâs breath catches, warmth flooding his chest as he brushes a kiss across her temple. âYes, my darling girl,â he murmurs, voice thick with awe, gathering her into his arms so her head rests against his heartbeat. âBecause your heart is mended, it beats for all the people you love and they love you right back, more than all the stars in the sky.â He presses one last kiss to the scar line, then holds her close, marveling that in her innocent truth lies a magic greater than any medicine.
Jaemin scoops Haeun off the mattress, her limbs curling instinctively around his torso, and carries her through the soft hush of the hallway toward the dresser where a pale-yellow dress hangs like a patch of sunshine waiting to be worn; he lays her across his lap, slips the cotton over her head, and buttons the smocked bodice while she chatters to Bunny about the morningâs adventures, each syllable puffed with earnest authority as she instructs the plush rabbit to âsit nice, no wriggle.â She pats the hem with pleased little sighs, fingers the scalloped sleeve, then presses a spontaneous kiss to his cheek before toddling toward the play mat, bunny clutched under one arm and curls bouncing with every uneven step as she narrates her own movements in delighted burstsââHae hae run, bunny run, boing boing.â He turns to the stove, whisk working through batter scented with vanilla, and listens as her wooden blocks clack against the floor in a rhythm that matches the quick pulse of his heart.
A moment later she reappears at the kitchen threshold, toes jerking on the polished wood as if the ground might wobble beneath her, arms stretched high, voice lilting, âUp, up, Dada,â and Jaemin lifts her without hesitation, tucking her on his hip so her dress billows like a tiny primrose petal; she watches the skillet with wide eyes, breath puffing against his neck every time a chocolate chip pops and melts into a dark freckle on the golden surface. âPankie, pankie,â she sings, trying out the word again with extra consonants. He slides the first pancake onto her plate, fork in hand, and she ânom-nomsâ it in two bites flat, cheeks stretching into gummy crescents as she declares, âMm-mm, Dada make me so yum yum!â Her laughter rings against the sunlit tiles and she claps her hands, then asks sweetly for more from the stack, holding it aloft like a victory banner while Bunny dangles from her tiny fist.
The laughter tips suddenly into a soft wheeze, almost swallowed by the sizzle, but Jaeminâs ears are tuned to every tremor in her breath; he slides the skillet off the flame, winds the inhaler from the standby cup on the counter, and seats her against his chest, murmuring, âSlow, my love, fishy breaths, remember?â She nods, eyes round, as he lifts her spacer with both hands, and he guides the mask to her mouth, pressing the canister twice in steady pulses while counting with her fingersâone, twoâthen taps her back as she draws deep breaths like theyâve practiced beneath blanket forts and under playground trees. The wheeze eases, her shoulders settle, and he softens his voice into the sing-song rhyme she loves, words drifting with their shared exhales: âWhen my chest feels tight and I feel huffy, I tell a big person, I get my puffy.âÂ
She repeats it around the mouthpiece, swapping consonants in that toddler tumbleââches feel tite, I get my puffyââthen pulls the inhaler away and asks, âWhatâs âqueezeâ mean, Dada?â He answers that it is the little ouch inside her chest, places her hand above her sternum so she can feel the last echo of quiver, and she nods with solemn comprehension, counting to five on chubby fingers before declaring, âTwo puff, all done,â clapping once while Bunny receives imaginary medicine of his own. Her shoulders unfurl, the quick flutter in her ribs quiets, and she nuzzles Bunny against her cheek as he whispers, âAll better, Dada.â She softens then, tipping her chin up and drawing it back just enough to make room. a tiny invitation shimmering in her eyes, so that when he leans in, his lips brush the apple of her cheek in a feather-light kiss, warm as sunrise on silken skin. A sigh flutters through her, breath gentle and full of comfort, and she turns her face toward him with a sleepy grin, thumb ghosting over his wrist as if to say, âAgain.â
He brushes away the last smudge of chocolate from the corner of her lips with the pad of his thumb, tasting sweetness on his tongue as he leans in to press another gentle kiss across her cheek, soft enough to ripple the fine down of her hair, warm enough to press a smile beneath her lashes, her small brow lifting in sleepy invitation, he presses one more feather-light kiss before tucking a stray curl behind her ear. His voice is soft as velvet when he asks, âAnd if your chest still says âouch,â bubba, if Dada is in the hospital and youâre at preschool or with your babysitter, what will you do?â
She pauses, presses her plump fingers together in earnest calculationâone, two, threeâthen meets his gaze with all the solemn confidence her two-year-old world can hold: âTell big helper! Call Dada! Say, âChest hurt! Dada! Come quick! Hae hae need you, pwease!â He nods, heart swelling at the earnest tilt of her brow,Â
He nods, heart swelling at the earnest tilt of her brow, then reaches out and tickles her underarm just enough to spark another flutter of laughter. She squeals, ribs wobbling, and bats his fingers away in mock protest before throwing her hands into the air and clapping with delighted abandon. âCorrect, my smart girl,â he praises, voice thick with pride, and she beams up at him, cheeks rosy and eyes shining, as if nothing could be more joyful than knowing Dada is always listening.
âDadaâs just getting your breakfast ready, beautifulâplay for a few minutes, then Iâll come get you again, yeah?â He stoops one last time to press a soft kiss to her temple and gives her a reassuring smile before slipping away toward the kitchen. Left amid her plush toys and tumbling blocks, she watches him go, Bunny clasped to her chest, then claps her hands with giddy delight, âplay time, Bunny!â She begins arranging a tiny tea party for her stuffed friends. The gentle thrum of the cooker drifts through the doorway, and she pauses in mid-stir of an imaginary cup, head tilting as if listening for Dadaâs return. When his footsteps echo back down the hall, she straightens, rosy-cheeked and eager, ready for the next bit of breakfast magic he has waiting.
He lifts her from the play mat and carries her over to the little wooden chair at the breakfast nook, the one painted pale yellow where she sits each morning, legs too short to touch the floor but feet kicking with excitement as she spies the plate piled high with her favorite chocolateâchip pancakes, juicy strawberry quarters fanned beside them, and a small glass of frothy mango juice Daddy made just for her. The moment her toes brush the footrest, she lets out a delighted squeal, âpankies, berry! juice!â Before she even picks up her fork, she lunges forward, hands on either side of his face, and belts out in her sweetest toddler croon, âTank you, my wuv!â pressing a sloppy kiss to his lips in perfect morning ritual. Jaeminâs heart melts as he brushes a stray smudge of chocolate from her chin, leans in to return her kiss, then picks up his own knife and fork so they can eat together, him cutting the pancakes into bite-sized clouds, her scooping them up with determined earnestness, humming between mouthfuls, âYum-yum, dada!â until the table fills with the soft rhythms of shared breakfast and the quiet joy of two hearts in perfect sync.
She opens in a little O of excitement, chews with earnest concentration. His heart blossoms at the gleeful crunch of fruit and the sweet sigh she exhales between bites. He watches the rise and fall of her small chest, offering strawberries and pancake clouds until she leans back, pats her belly with a contented grin, and announces in a triumphant sing-song, âAll done! I full!âÂ
He grins, brushing a stray crumb from her chin, and murmurs, âThatâs my clever girl,â before sweeping her into his arms and planting a kiss on her forehead.
Careful to keep breakfast magic alive, Jaemin gathers the dishes while Haeun toddles after him, wobbly legs determined, clutching her small plate like a treasure. She holds it out with a proud tilt of her brows and declares, âHere, Dada, bubba helper!âÂ
He coos, âThank you, my little helper,â and takes the plate to the sink. As he rinses each fork and spoon, he hears her padding back to the play mat, blocks clacking and Bunny perched in her lap. Through the doorway drifts her soft song. her pumps-and-heart rhyme woven into nursery cadences âwhen my chest feels tight⊠I get my puffyâŠââand he presses his palm to his heart, the tender ache of fatherhood swelling in his chest as he smiles down at the shining morning, more alive than any sunrise he has ever known.
Jaemin drops to the rug beside Haeun, fingertips hovering at the tender arch of her ribs, and launches his giggle attack without warningâlight, teasing tickles that trace invisible kitten whiskers across her cotton onesie until her back arches and a fountain of laughter spills from her lips. Her knees buckle as she ducks away, eyes squeezed shut against a grin so big it threatens to burst, and she gasps out, âDada, no tickle!â in a breathless squeal that ripples through the sunlit room like a chorus of bells. He shifts, letting her scramble onto his lap, and she retaliates with her own ticklesâchubby fingers jab at his sides, pronouncing, âGot-cha, Dada!ââbefore she flings herself backward into a sea of throw pillows, clutching Bunny to her chest and whooping with triumph.
Before he can recover, she scrambles up again, reaches for his face, and unleashes her kiss attackârapid-fire smooches across his cheeks, chin, and nose, each one sweet and sticky with leftover syrup from breakfast. âMwaâDada kiss!â she commands, pressing her lips to his in a sloppy toddler peck, then giggling when he pretends to swoon.Â
His arms tighten around her as he leans in, returning each kiss with a gentle press of his lips, murmuring into the curve of her cheek, âMine, all mine,â until her whole face glows pink and her curls brush against his stubbled jaw.
She launches straight into cuddle attack, curling her legs around his waist and burying her face in his collarbone like a sleepy koala, breath warm against his skin. He rocks her gently, one hand threading through her damp curls, the other cradling her back, and she sighs, âDada safe,â as if that single phrase could still every storm in her heart. Her chest pulses against his shirt, a quick patter that tugs at his own ribs, so he brushes a finger to her temple and coaxes in a soft sing-song, âBig, slow breaths⊠fishy breathe⊠whoooosh,â guiding her through the rhythm that always calms her little boom-boom.
Whilst sheâs playing, Jaemin kneels by Haeunâs pastel backpack, its canvas printed with tumbling ballerinas and embroidered with her name and begins their ritual. He gently opens the top compartment and lays in her folder of check-up forms, a folded change of pajamas in sunflower yellow, a pair of soft leggings in her favorite petal-pink, a sachet of clean diapers, wipes tucked into a little zip pouch, a thinner blanket stitched from Daddyâs own scrubs, and, of course, Bunnyâall nestled like cherished guests awaiting departure. In the front pocket he clips the âHaeun Card,â bright with rainbow trim and a smiling bunny sketch, laminated and punched with a hole: on one side her photo, age, and Daddyâs number; on the other, a tiny diagram and simple instructions on what to do if she goes breathless or finds herself unable to speak. Haeun toddles over, eyes wide as he smooths the card flat, and he asks with a flourish, âWhoâs this, baby?âÂ
She reaches up, fingers brushing the edge of the card, and beams, âHaeun card! Datâs meâDada number, bunny!â
Next comes the kit inspection. As she perches on the daisied rug, curls tumbling, Jaemin unzips the canvas pouch and she watches with rapt attention while he pulls out each essential: her pink-and-white inhaler, two oral syringes of furosemide and digoxin syrup, the silicone ID band snug around her wrist, a pouch of graham crackers, a small water bottle, and Bunny, whom she settles into her lap with a proud pat. âIf Dada not here and you feel huffy or ouchy,â he prompts, voice soft as spun sugar, âwhat do you do?âÂ
Haeun waves the card like a captainâs flag and declares, âFind helper! Show card! Say, âI need puffy!ââ
He smiles, pride warming his chest. âCan you show Dada your puffy breath?â Without hesitation, she lifts the inhaler to her lips, inhales a big, noisy whoosh through the spacer, cheeks ballooning like tiny airbags and releases a triumphant grin. âWhoooosh!â she celebrates, clapping for herself even though she knows the taste is yucky.Â
âAnd if someone doesnât know, baby, what do you say?â he asks gently.Â
She taps her bracelet, voice firm: âHelp me! Heart owie. Call my Dada!âÂ
Jaemin nods, voice warm with pride as he ruffles her curls, âGood girlâyouâre the smartest baby ever.â He kneels by Haeunâs play mat, gathering her little backpack and chart for todayâs routine check-up. He smooths a curl from her forehead and says, voice soft and sure, âWhy donât you go into your playroom, baby, and let me finish packing? Then weâll head off to the hospital, okay?âÂ
At the word âplayroom,â her eyes sparkle like sunbeams on water, and she throws both arms wide, claps her pudgy hands, and squeals, âYay! I wuv hospâwal!ââso eager she nearly topples over her bunny-lined tower. Even as he clicks the last buckle on her bag. a tidy row of syringes, emergency card, spare socks, she pirouettes across the rug, humming their special tune.Â
Haeunâs playroom is a riot of color: teetering towers of rainbow blocks, plush bunnies lined up like devoted spectators, and a carousel of wooden animals spinning gently across the rug. Sunlight filters through the curtains, pooling in gold-white patches where she crouches, clutching her bright pink toy phone as if it were the worldâs most precious treasure. Lips pursed in solemn concentration, she presses it to her ear and coos, âRing-ring, Uncle Nono? Uncle Nono, I wuv you!â before blowing a shower of kisses across the carpet that drift like dandelion seeds on the breeze. Her laughter, a tinkling bell, fills the roomâand in that moment, even the statuesque bunnies seem to lean forward to watch her joy.
Jaemin slips in behind her, the weight of the morningâs medical charts melting from his shoulders at the sight of her delight. He sets the papers aside and kneels on the soft rug, voice low as velvet. âPerfect timing, my little sunflower, how do we call Dada if your heart says âouchâ and Iâm not right here?â He offers her a real phone, polished and warm in his hand.Â
He offers her his own phone, gleaming in the morning light. Without glancing at the backpackâs laminated card, she grips the handset with fierce toddler resolve. Her stubby fingers flit over the numbered buttons sheâs memorized from practice, she mutters each key under her breath. When the line connects, she takes a deep breath and announces with triumphant authority, âDada! I Haeun! I sick, need help! Come get me, pwease!â
Jaemin answers in a playful whisper, âHelloâwho is this brave little lady?âÂ
She puffs her cheeks in mock offense and declares at the top of her voice, âDadaâs girl! Dadaâs pwincess!âÂ
Jaemin answers in a teasing whisper, âwho am I lucky enough to be speaking with today?â
Her curls brush his hand as she corrects him, âI Haeun! Dadaâs girl! Dadaâs princess!â culminating in a delighted squeal that bounces off the walls.
He feigns surprise, voice laced with laughter: âI donât know a sick princessâI only know my daisy queen!âÂ
She squeaks. âSilly Dada, itâs me! I sick, need help, come get me, pwease!â She throws her free hand on her hip, little brow furrowing in adorable stubbornness as she demands into the phone, âI Haeun! I Dadaâs girl! Dadaâs pwincess!â Her jaw juts, curls bobbing, and she stamps one chubby foot for emphasis before continuing, âDadaâs wittle sunfwower, Dadaâs ti-ny ballewina, dadaâs bwave stah!â She punctuates each title with a triumphant squeal, cheeks pink with pride and pout, daring him to deny that perfect, toddler-born declaration of love.Â
He laughs, warmth flooding his chest, and murmurs, âThatâs rightâmy Haeun. Youâre my everything.â He brushes a kiss across her temple and adds, âAlways call me if you need me, okay?âÂ
She hands him back the phone with a proud nod, buries her face against his side, and whispers, âDada know me.âÂ
Jaemin gathers her into his arms, smoothing back a stray curl, and whispers into her ear, âEven if Dada isnât here, Iâll come so fast to you, always. You are so safe, my baby girl.â At that moment, her packed bag by his side and her trust in his arms. Jaemin never makes it scary; every lesson is a promise that Haeun is never alone, that her small, mended heart is precious, and thatâeven when Daddyâs on rounds and canât be in the roomâshe carries every tool, every rhyme, and every drop of his love to keep herself safe. Each practice round becomes an act of faith: her resilience meeting his devotion in a perfect, tender loop. The world feels safer not because her body is flawless, but because she understands its rhythmsâand because her daddy believes in her, completely and forever.
The automatic doors slide open with a soft whoosh, and a breath of conditioned air lifts Haeunâs honeyed curls like petals caught in a breeze. She perches on Jaeminâs hip as alwaysâwarm and sure, her small body molded to his side as if thatâs where she will always belong. One pudgy hand clasps the strap of his lanyard; the other clutches Bunnyâs ear with white-knuckled conviction. He eases her toward the floor, expecting her usual burst of wild kitestring energy, but Haeunâs little legs stiffen and her arms clamp around his neck in a vice of need. âNo, Dada,â she whispers, voice trembling as a quivering candle flame because in the quiet thrum of her chest she already tastes the tang of needles and machines hidden just beyond the next door. He pauses, heart tilting at her fear, and cups her face, thumb brushing the downy cheek beside her tense jaw. âWeâll be back home in a blink,â he promises, voice soft as dawn. Only then does she relax just enough to rest her head against his collar, tiny fists still clinging to his shirt, finding safety not in open corridors but in the steady warmth of his arms.
In Haeunâs eyes, the hospital looms like a glittering castle, its ceilings soaring toward the clouds and walls rippling in rainbow waves that shimmer beneath honeyed lights. Plush chairs line the corridors like soft, waiting clouds, and everywhere she glimpses, thereâs murals of dancing whales and twinkling stars. Nurses in crisp white coats drift by like kindly giants, and on quiet afternoons she spies music rooms where pianos hum gentle lullabies and aquariums glow like jeweled oceans. Every door promises a new adventure, each one more wondrous than the last but none of it feels as vast or as warm as Dadaâs arms. Nestled against his steady chest, the grand hallways shrink away until all that remains is Haeun and Dada, and suddenly sheâs exactly where she belongs.
Jaeminâs arm trembles ever so slightly as he holds her against his chest, fully prepared for the inevitable toddler revolt and sure enough, after a beat of silent insistence, her voice pipes up again: âDown, Dada! Down!â She presses her palms to his shoulders and hops once, eyes wide in urgent command.Â
He canât help but laugh, a low, rolling chuckle that vibrates through her belly. âAll right, bubba,â he says, easing her down into her own two feet like a practiced pro. She wobbles for a moment, then breaks into a grin as if sheâs just won the bedtime lottery. He shrugs to himself; with toddlers, indecision is the dayâs greatest pastime, and with his own baby girl, he wouldnât have it any other way.
Across the lobby, light dapples in honeyed pools, dancing from chandelier to check-in desk. When Jaemin nudges her forward, voice low, steadyââGo on, say hi,â she peels away from his leg in three small, hesitant steps. She leans from behind Bunnyâs plush head and offers a shy âHi! I Haeun!â to the receptionist, her cheeks blossoming pink, then retreats instantly, face tucked against Jaeminâs calf.Â
He rubs circles on her back, whispering, âMy brave girl,â as though summoning courage from every syllable.
They slip into the echoing corridor, her âEcho Hall,â she calls it, where every tiny footfall rings like raindrops on glass. At first she hesitates, toes skidding on the polished floor, but then she spots the cardiology wing logo, a cheerful duck in a heart and her face brightens. âDada, look! Ducky!â she chirps, pressing her free hand into his palm as though drawing courage from his touch. Jaemin kneels beside her and lifts Bunnyâs ear so it can âquackâ at the logo, and the simple ritual sends her into a fit of delighted giggles. With her smile restored, she strides forward with newfound confidence, tiny trainers clicking in time, the echoing hall transforming from a space of nerves into a stage for her triumphant march.
Rounding the final corner, the world shifts into her kingdom: pastel murals swirl across the walls, shooting stars, angelic doves, dancing bears, color-dropped coral realms under the sea. Haeun bounces in his arms, squealing, âLook, the sharky still here!â as sheâs spun toward her volunteer-made cubby: a tiny wooden locker painted with her name, inside which lives her pastel yellow blanket, a stash of Bunny stickers, and a water bottle printed with daisies. She tucks Bunny inside, locks the âdoor,â and claps her hands, delighted by the familiarity.
Nurses hail her from every station and she waves, flinging kisses like confetti. Itâs become a habit here, every whisper and greeting calls her âSunshine,â one her given name, the moment she steps into these halls. One nurse feigns a swoon, hands to her heart: âMy word, sheâs grown!âÂ
Haeun, ever the performer, spins on one toe, announcing, âDada, I twirl!â before skipping to the corner aquarium. Nose pressed to the glass, she watches a pale yellow fish glide through the water. âFishy swim swim,â she declares, brow furrowed in expert concentration, and names her new friend âChickenâ with the solemnity of a queen bestowing knighthood. In every step, every glance, every gleeful squeal, the hospital, once a chamber of fear, has become the bright palace of her safety, where her daddyâs steady presence transforms every corridor into a path of promise.
The next corridor gleams in fresh paint, tiles laid in perfect yellow-blue alternation, each square echoing her favorite sunflower hue. Haeun steps only on the yellow, toes splaying as though sheâs finding secret springs beneath each one. She spreads her arms like wings and dances across the floor, curls bouncing in golden loops, while Jaemin follows two paces behind, cradling her backpack and watching with a smile that could steady any faltering surgeonâs hand. A passing oncology resident pauses mid-chart and chuckles, âTraining her for ballet or heart surgery?âÂ
Jaemin shrugs, voice soft as dawn, âMaybe both.â
In the play alcove beyond the nursesâ station, sheâs already a little celebrity. Children in wheelchairs wave when they see her, one older boy, his port catheter gleaming under fluorescent lights, shouts, âSunshine, show me your dance!â She darts over, spins once in a fever of delight, then flings herself into his lap, hugging him like a baby bear reunited with its mother. From her bag she produces crayon-scrawled cards, bunnies with lop ears, hearts big as saucers, stick-figure doctors crowned with tufts of hair. She presses them into each childâs hand with solemn pride, her wide smile radiating promise.
Nurse Ahra greets her at the doorway like family, and they execute their secret handshake, tap-tap-clap-boop, before Ahra decorates her chart with glitter stickers, eyes dancing. âHowâs my ballerina?â she asks, and Haeun, ever the performer, demonstrates a hopping âballet moveâ before pinky-promising, âNo hurt Bunny.âÂ
Dr. Hwang Renjun rounds the corner just as Haeun finishes her parade, scrub cap still in hand from an early-morning case. He and Jaemin, old friends stitched together by a thousand shared surgeries, exchange a brief, silent nod, the kind of greeting forged under operating-room lights. Renjun had assumed Haeunâs cardiothoracic care the moment Jaemin became âDadâ instead of âDoctor,â and that single fact steadies Jaeminâs pulse more than any beta-blocker ever could: the countryâs most gifted heart surgeon watches over his daughterâs patched-up pump.
Renjun crouches until heâs eye-level with her, stethoscope charms winking pink. âHowâs my best girl today?â he asks, voice warm.Â
Haeun presses her cheek to the cool diaphragm and whispers, âPump happy,â then adds a cautious little thumbs-up.Â
He grins, taps her bracelet, and says, âIâll see you for your check-up in half an hour, okay, beautiful?â
ââKay, Dr. Nunjun,â she lisps, gummy smile brave but wobbling at the edges.
Satisfied, Renjun rises, claps Jaemin lightly on the shoulder, and disappears toward imaging. Haeun turns to the security guard, slaps a high-five, and chirps, âThank you for keepinâ my hospital safe, mister!â before burrowing back into Jaeminâs side, small fingers twined in his coat, gathering courage for the half hour yet to come.Â
This isnât just a building. Itâs the place where her heart was mended, where she first met her Daddy as more than a surgeon, where lullabies and soft hands carried her through the deepest shadows. For Jaemin, each return is a pilgrimage through hallowed halls of both memory and mercy. For Haeun, it remains a playground of miracles, a palace where her laughter rings louder than any alarm. Her joy does not erase the trials sheâs enduredârather, it transmutes them, a golden alchemy wrought in every corridor she treads, every hand she holds, every heartbeat that calls her home.
At the far end of the nursesâ station, youâre hunched over a tower of post-op notes when a high-pitched squeal ricochets down the corridor like a fired confetti cannon. Heads snap up just in time to watch Haeun launch herself off the linoleum, bunny flapping behind like a medieval banner, and hurtle straight for you. She bonks her forehead against your knees on purpose, dissolves into hiccup-giggles, then wraps her arms around your calves with so much ferocity youâll be wearing tiny-finger bruises tomorrow. âMy bestest girl!â she crows, giggling so hard she hiccups bubbles of air. You scoop her up, notes forgotten, pager silent for once and she grabs your cheeks, eyes flickering with starshine. âYour eyes still shiny!â she declares, as if confirming the moon is still in orbit, then proudly offers a half-squished fruit snack: âFor you!â She peppers your face with wet toddler kisses, left cheek, right cheek, nose, until the onlookers at the desk dissolve into open laughter. The weight of twelve-hour shifts and endless charting slides right off your shoulders; in this moment, the only patient in the world is the one beaming in your arms.
You cradle Haeun in one arm while she fumbles at her backpack with the other, then triumphantly produces a crumpled sheet of paper covered in wild loops of crayon. âFor you,â she breathes, pressing it into your palm with reverent care. You unfold it to reveal three wobbling stick figures, one tall with a lopsided tie, one smaller with a bow, and the smallest with a spiraled scribble for hair, surrounded by suns and hearts. Her chubby finger darts across the page. âDatâs Dada,â she announces, voice bright as morning, tapping the tallest figure. âDis is me, Haeun,â she continues, pointing to the middle, âanâ youâyouâre da shiny star!â She circles your little figure in yellow, then adds two enthusiastic hearts overhead. âWe all together!â she declares, cheeks flushed with pride.Â
Your chest tightens with a sudden gulp, warmth flooding your throat as a question alights in your mind, why does she love you so much? You blink down at her earnest grin, behind you, Jaeminâs gaze slides over your shoulder, cool and distant, a coldness youâve become accustomed to, his jaw taut as if heâs asking himself the same thing. For a heartbeat the corridor hushes, broken only by Haeunâs gentle hum of pride and the tiny echo of your own unspoken wonder. You press a kiss to her forehead, your world both shattered and made whole by that simple, crayon-drawn truth.
She giggles, head bobbing, âI wuv you⊠anâ dada!ââand in that scribbled snapshot you feel full despite being confused, the tender weight of a love impossibly large for such a tiny hand to hold.
Jaemin, leaning against the counter, watches the spectacle with a deadpan glare sharp enough to slice through gauze. âCanât believe youâre still her favorite,â he mutters, voice glacier-cool.Â
Hyejin, rifling through lab slips, winks and calls, âSo whenâs the wedding?âÂ
Haeun claps like a deranged metronome and shrieks, âToday!â gripping your collar to steer you down the corridor aisle while you fight a losing battle against laughter.
Jaemin moves behind you with deliberate calm, his posture rigid, gaze fixed on anything but you. His eyes skim the ceiling tiles, flit across ECG readouts, settle on the slow sweep of the clockâs second hand, each tick a silent refusal to meet your own. The air between you hums with unspoken tension, warmth rising at the back of your neck as you march onâchild leading youâcaught in the orbit of her joy and his cool, brittle distance.
Haeun chatters at warp speed, cheeks flushed pink: âWe eat lunch later? With noodles? And juice? And stickers?âÂ
You murmur, âOf course, sweetheart,â and Haeunâs whole face ignites. She squeals high and bright, knees bouncing, then flings herself into your arms as if gravity only holds for you. You sweep her up against your chest, her tiny legs wrapping around your waist and she presses her cheek into your collarbone, giggling breathlessly. Bunnyâs ears flop against your shoulder and her curly hair tickles your jaw. Overcome with pure joy, she claps her hands against your scrubs and squeals, âYay! Da best part of my day!â eyes shining like morning light. In that moment, nothing exists beyond the warmth of your embrace and her triumphant, happy sighs.
Haeun burrows deeper into your shoulder, voice tumbling out in a rushing stream of wants and needs: âCuddle me, pwease? Braid my hair? Draw bunny doctor? Play blocks? Read âBearâs Breakfastâ? Kiss my owie? You stay wif me? You hold Haeunie? We kissy now?â She punctuates each demand with a chubby hand pressed to your cheek, eyes glittering with hopeful light. You cradle her more tightly, breath catching as wave after wave of her eager energy washes over you, youâre both buoyed and nearly capsized by the sheer intensity of her love.
âI⊠of course, sweetheart,â you manage between gentle smiles, heart thudding so loud it drowns out the hum of the corridor. Your fingers fumble at the hem of her dress as she tugs you onward, each little request a bright spark that ignites your chest with warmth and wonder. You feel yourself spinning in her orbit, overwhelmed by the sweetness, the breathless joy in her gaze, the way she seems to believe you can bend the entire world to grant her every wish. Your chest tightens with a rush of guilt and awe, a knot of unworthiness twisting beneath your ribsâhow could you ever deserve the boundless glow of her love? What did you do to make her cherish you this much?Â
She laughs, a soft, triumphant bell, when you finally press your lips to her curls, murmuring, âYes, my love, weâll do it all,â even as your arms ache and your voice trembles with emotion. She bounces happily, little legs kicking, and nuzzles into your neck. The world narrows to her heartbeat against your chest, and you realize that no matter how flustered you feel, this whirlwind of toddler dreams is the most beautiful storm youâve ever weathered. Itâs unfamiliar, but somehow the warmth of her trust settles the constant racing of your own heart.
âHaeun,â Jaeminâs voice cuts through the corridor like a sharpened blade, each syllable clipped with cold impatience. His hand settles on her shoulder, firm and unyielding, the faint tremor of frustration coiling beneath his perfect composureâjaw clenched, eyes dark as storm clouds, commanding in a way that both unsettles and draws you in. âItâs time for your appointment, letâs go, come to me now.âÂ
âNo!â she snaps back, tiny fists flowering at her hips, her brows knitting into a fierce single line of defianceâsomething youâve never seen in your gentle girl. âI not leave my best person!â
Jaeminâs jaw tightens into a rigid line. He wonât meet your eyes, instead, his gaze flickers to the scuffed floor tiles, to the dull drip of a distant IV pump, anything but you. Then, in a low rumble edged with ice, he hisses, âMaybe if you kept her calm, she wouldnât turn my corridor into a circus.â The words land like thunder, and you feel the storm of his impatience crackle between you.
You swallow hard, cheeks burning, and your voice comes out in a panicked rush. âIâIâm sorry, Jae â Dr, Nana. I didnât mean to, she just got so excited, and I thought if I let herââ You trail off, words tumbling over each other as you stumble forward, knot of guilt tightening in your chest. âI know sheâs your daughter, and I shouldâve kept her in line, but she, she just needed a hug, and I thought,â your hands flutter helplessly at your sides, âmaybe I could, sheâs so little, and Iââ Haeun presses closer, dampening your scrubs with her tiny arms. You clear your throat, attempting to sound firmer: âIt wonât happen again. I promise.â But the words feel hollow under Jaeminâs steely gaze and the weight of the empty corridor only amplifies the awkward tension crackling between you.
You gulp, chest tightening, and before you can smooth your frown, Haeun presses a feather-soft kiss to your lipsâthen whirls on Dada, her eyes storm-bright with fierce defiance. âDada! You so rude! You be so rude to my love!â Her small, angry proclamation hangs in the air as you swallow, limbs suddenly too long for the cramped hallway. The two of you stand locked in a frozen tableauâher scowl directed at her daddy, your tense shoulders betraying the turmoil in your chest. Somewhere, a monitor bleeps; the corridorâs bright murals and pastel chairs blur around you.
Jaeminâs patience snaps like a twig underfoot. âCut it out, Haeun. Weâre done with games,â he snarls, voice low and tight.
Haeun squares her tiny shoulders and plants her hands on her hips. âDada, you so rude!â she repeats, lips in a soft pout, eyes brimming with faux indignation. âYou be so rude to my love!â
He rounds on her, breath sharp. âIâm not your playmate, sunshine. Behave, or weâll miss your scan.â
She flashes you a triumphant grin, then back at Jaemin. âNo! I not listen to rude dada!â
His jaw clenches. âFineâsee how well that goes for you.â
âOh, dada mean!â she shrieks, tugging at your sleeve like a miniature diva staking her ground.
He exhales through clenched teeth. âLetâs go, Haeunânow.â
âI only go if my wuvââshe points both fingers at youââwalk me to my âpoint-ment woom.â She folds her arms, chin jutting, the embodiment of pint-sized mutiny.
A sigh hisses through Jaeminâs teeth, but he jerks his head. âFine, escort duty. Letâs move.â He strides ahead, your distance buffer, while Haeun cuddles deeper into your shoulder, whispering top-secret toddler confidences. âGonna be so bwave for Dada, no crying. Bunny gets sticker too.â She plants stealth kisses against your collarbone whenever Jaemin isnât looking.
The walk takes all of two minutes, yet Haeun makes it feel like a royal parade, waving at young children, saluting nurses, announcing âEcho Hall!â whenever your shoes tap louder than usual. At the exam door you set her down gently; she clings once more, plants a decisive smack-kiss to your cheek, and scampers inside only when Jaemin murmurs a command in a soft yet stern voice. She turns to you, blows a dramatic parting kiss, âbye-bye, bestest girl! See you at lunch!â Then she disappears behind the door, bunny ears last to vanish.
Jaemin pivots, his expression a scalpelâs edge. âThose post-op notes wonât finish themselves,â he says, crisp, clinical, leaving no room for argument. Heat prickles your ears as you mumble agreement, suddenly aware of the stack waiting on your desk. He strides after his daughter without another glance, coat flaring like a banner of practiced authority, and youâre left in the corridor with fruit snack residue on your fingers, heartbeat fluttering between childish adoration and the chill of his professional distance. Outside the exam room, you swear you hear Haeunâs giggle echoâa small, stubborn sun lighting its corner of the vast, humming hospital.
Haeun plants one last sticky kiss on your cheek. âSee you later!â she chirps, tiny fingers fluttering in an enthusiastic wave. Thereâs no tug at your sleeve, no watery plea for you to stay; she only beams up, trusting youâll find her when work is done. With mature little dignity, she pivots, tucks Bunny beneath her arm, and trots off beside her daddy, leaving you smiling at the soft echo of her goodbye while you turn back toward the dayâs long list of patients.
The exam room glows in quiet aquamarine, dimmed lights reflecting off a stainless cart of probes and pastelâanimal murals that do their best to outshine the scent of antiseptic. Haeun hesitates on the threshold, tiny fingers locked around her bunnyâs ear, but Dr. Hwang Renjun lowers himself to her height, strawberry-shaped earrings wobbling. âMorning, beautiful. Ready to show me how strong your heart is today?â She nods and shuffles forward, the velcro on her trainers crackling like distant thunder.Â
Jaemin lifts her onto the padded table, settles beside her like a human shield, and cups her cheek. âWeâve got this, baby.â His voice is velvet over steel; the monitors havenât even switched on, yet his eyes are already tracking every stray beep in the room.
Sticky ECG leads find their places on her chest; the machine hums to life, neon digits dancing across the screen. Haeun flinches at the cold gel, tucks her face against Jaeminâs shoulder, and whispers, âStrong girl?âÂ
He hums the opening bars of a Barbie ballad and answers, âBrave girl, youâre my whole heart.â The rhythm steadies, both hers and his, until the trace prints clean and even. Next comes the blood draw: she offers her arm but squeezes Jaeminâs finger white as the needle slides in. Tears bead, spill; Dr. Hwang catches them with a tissue and murmurs, âWarrior stuff, sweetheart.â When the vial clicks shut, Haeun gasps, and Jaemin kisses the crook of her elbow.Â
âYou can pick any plaster,â the nurse offers. Without hesitation she chooses bright yellow, one for herself, one for Bunny and presses them on with solemn dignity.
The developmental team filters in: a speech pathologist, a physio, a giggling resident with a clipboard of milestone charts. Haeun demonstrates her latest hop-twirl combo, counts to ten (skipping four and seven with cheerful disregard), and recites half a line from âBearâs Breakfast.â Applause ripples around the room. âSheâs thriving,â the physio says, jotting notes, and Jaeminâs shoulders sink half an inch, relief loosening the set of his jaw. Dr. Hwang reviews the echo images projected on the wall, the truncus arteriosus repair holding steady, ventricular function strong, no leakage beyond trace. âMedication doses stay the same, labs look clean, lungs clear,â he recaps. âWeâll repeat imaging in three months.âÂ
The glow of the monitor paints Jaeminâs face in ghostly light, his jaw set like hardened steel, eyes flicking over every waveform as if he can make a perfect readout by sheer force of will. He stands rigid, shoulders squared, a silent sentinel against the slightest hint of error, each beeping alarm echoing the tremor of a fatherâs terror. Yet the moment Haeun toddles up, skirts of her yellow dress swirling, and plants a chubby finger against his noseââBoop!ââhis fortress cracks. She giggles, bright and fearless, undeterred by his furrowed brow, and he bends to lift her into his arms, the same hands that scrutinize surgical scans now cradling her like treasure. In her laughter he finds release, the hypervigilant surgeon melting into a gentle teddy bear, and for the briefest heartbeat, his only concern is the warmth of her smile against his chest.
Jaeminâs gaze narrows on the echo images flickering across the screen, fingers tapping the console with controlled urgency. âAny trace of residual regurgitation at the truncal valve?â he asks, voice taut. âWhatâs her peak gradient across the right ventricular outflow tract? And how are her ventricular volumes, any sign of dilation?â Each question lands with surgical precision, his protective instinct sharpening every syllable.
Dr. Hwang Renjun chuckles softly, the sound warm and effortless. âAbsolutely nil, Jaemin. No leaks, gradient steady at fifteen millimeters, ventricular function textbook, look at that ejection fraction,â he says, nudging the waveform. âSheâs exactly where she should be. Go on, go and enjoy time with your baby girl. She has a healthy heart, itâs a miracle.â
Jaemin exhales, relief softening the hard line of his jaw. He reaches out, and Renjun clasps his forearm in the quiet camaraderie of surgeons bound by shared stakes and shared salvation. In that handshake lies a promise kept: Haeunâs heart is safe, and now Jaemin can return to the most important surgery of allâbeing her father.
Afterward, ritual returns. Haeun perches on the staff-kitchen counter, legs swinging while Jaemin feeds her yogurt with a tongue-depressor spoon. She hands a crayon drawing to every nurse who passes, bunnies, ballerinas, âme + Dada in starsââand each recipient grins as though gifted gold. When the last spoonful disappears, she sighs, wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, and rests her head on Jaeminâs shoulder. âHaeun happy,â she confirms, voice feather-thin but certain. Jaemin presses his lips to her hair, inhales the faint scent of baby shampoo, and lets the racing in his own chest finally slow to match the gentle, even beat heâs sworn to protect.

The hallway towards the on-call room is hushed in that unsettling way midday corridors sometimes are, as though the entire pediatric wing has paused to inhale together: murmured conversations ripple far off at the nursesâ station, fluorescent fixtures hum with soft electrical patience, and a cartoon theme song drifts faintly from a waiting-room television, its tinny melody warped by distance. You move through the quiet with measured urgency, heart racing, but hands steady, clutching Sang-junâs chart against your chest so tightly the corner leaves a crease in your scrub top. One squeak from your shoe betrays you just before you reach the door you have come to know too well, the door behind which Dr. Na often sequesters himself when the hours run too long or when Haeun needs quiet away from the wardâs constant beeping. You have paged him twice without answer, so there is nothing left but to push inside.
Cool air rushes out, conditioned, ventilator-clean, tinged faintly with antiseptic and the gentle sweetness of vanilla hand soap. The lighting is low, like the hush inside a chapel. Dr. Na stands by the open locker, torso bared, the planes of his back and shoulders sculpted by the overhead glow. The tension in his posture, muscles corded, spine drawn taut, suggests he has been pulled from a moment of fragile calm. On the small examination bed against the wall, Haeun sits cross-legged atop a thin blanket, Bunny cradled beneath her chin. She is mid-giggle, trading whispers with her father, until she spots you in the doorway. Instantly she squeals, a single, silver note that ricochets off metal cabinets and bounces on the mattress, heels drumming. âYay! My girl! We eat now?â she chirps, blowing exaggerated kisses that flap Bunnyâs ears like wings.
The intimacy of the scene stops you cold: the bare skin of his chest still rising from quiet laughter, the way Haeunâs small fingers cling possessively to one of his, the hush broken only by her delighted squeal. Heat blooms under your collar. âIâ HiâSorry. No. Not now, Haeun.â you stammer, voice catching. She settles at once, though her lower lip juts in gentle protest, as if she has decided that disappointment is survivable so long as Bunny remains. You turn with seriousness in your tone. âDr. Na, itâsâthereâs something urgent. I didnât mean toââ
Dr. Naâs head turns slightly, eyes flicking to you without truly landing, and already he is dragging the scrub top over his shoulders. âWhat is it?â The question is clipped, professional, the vowels sharpened by a blade of cold urgency. He doesnât move with his usual surgical speed, though; some unguarded part of him delays, granting you a full second to watch the fabric slide over the curve of his abdomen.Â
The explanation you rehearsed all the way down the corridor catches like a stone in your throat, words dissolving the moment youâre confronted by the sharp, unguarded lines of Dr. Naâs half-naked body, suddenly every reason for being here feels impossibly small. He stands with his back to the low bed, chest bared and strikingâbroad, cut with the kind of muscle gained through consistent gym sessions, quick showers, and tension unwound only in the weight room. Each line is deeply sculpted, from the hollow above his collarbone to the ridges of his abs, his skin tinged with the cool blue light that slips through the half-closed blinds. His armsâthick with power, veins arching beneath the skinâlook impossibly large beside the tiny figure sitting on the mattress. When he bends to help Haeun with her shoe, his forearm alone dwarfs her whole chest, the kind of paternal strength that could cradle or shield a world.Â
Thereâs a deep, instinctive magnetism in the size of him, how he moves around her with such gentleness, all that brute strength transformed into the most careful touch. The heat of his skin seems to fill the small room, the masculine line of his neck and shoulders making every glance feel like a slow, deliberate drag of silk over bare skin. Itâs impossible to look at him and not feel the weight of the contrast: the man made of sinew and promise, every inch built for both battle and devotion, and the little girl orbiting that steady sun, her hand barely wrapping his thumb, her head barely clearing the crook of his elbow, yet utterly secure in his shadow. Even the fluorescent glow feels charged in here, the air vibrating with a tension spun from protection and an allure so physical it catches the breath in your chest, shrinking the world to the space between heartbeat and hush.
The realization that you are staring makes your heartbeat stutter. You thrust the open file toward him with clammy fingers, words tumbling out in an anxious rush. âItâs Sang-jun, room twelve, his saturations crashed for three minutes, came back up, but the new angiogram shows a bulge at the pulmonary trunk. It wasnât there on the morning scan, aneurysmal expansion, maybe leaking. If we wait, he could rupture.â
Dr. Naâs eyes widen, an infinitesimal flare and he lifts a warning finger to his lips before nodding subtly toward Haeun. Sheâs young but five-year-old Sang-jun is her hallway friend, and he wonât let her hear the word rupture. You swallow and fall silent, hands suddenly purposeless, burning with the sense that any wrong movement might shatter the room. The scrape-scuff scrape of soft sneakers echoes as Haeun climbs down from the bed and patters across the linoleum, curls bobbing like golden springs with every determined step. She reaches you in three quick strides, one, two, squeak, and flings her arms around your calves, hugging so tightly you feel the press of every tiny fingertip. Tilting her face up, she puckers her lips into noisy kissy-fish shapes, giggling between smacks of air. âNow lunch time?â she asks, hope bright as a bell.
You exhale a gentle sigh, crouching until your knees meet the linoleum and your shoulders hunch over her small body. Haeun launches herself forward, clutching you with every ounce of her tiny strength, your arms wrapping protectively around her so that you nearly swallow her up. The size difference is comicalâyour arms, bigger than her whole torso, your frame a sturdy arch she burrows under, bunny squished between your chests. She nestles her curls into your shoulder, humming with delight, eyes squeezing shut as you smooth her hair with your palm. Her legs curl up and over yours, and she lets out an exaggerated âAhhh,â as though youâre some magical comfort switch. For a moment you both cling so fiercely itâs impossible to tell whose heartbeat is whose, the world narrowed down to vanilla-scented scrubs, sun-warm curls, and the simple security of a hug that feels like home.Â
You sigh and finally respond to her. âNot yet, sweetheart,â you explain, voice low to keep the moment soft. âI have an important surgery with your Dada, saving another little bubbaâs heart, so lunch has to wait. Letâs pinky promise, I promise that weâll eat together later?âÂ
You extend your pinky. She studies it with comic seriousness, then pivots toward the wall clock, narrowing her eyes in a mock-stern squint. In the pale glow of the on-call roomâs single lamp, Haeun tilts her head, her eyelashes scrunched into soft crescents. She lifts a pudgy finger and taps the long silver minute hand, âbig han!â Her other pudgy finger follows the shorter hour hand, and she babbles with gleeful effort, âlittle han!â Each mispronounced syllable hangs in the hush, the faint click of her tiny taps echoing like raindrops on glass. Her face brightens as she watches both hands meet at twelve, eyes shining with proud astonishment, and she throws back her head to squeal, âyay!ââa burst of pure, two-year-old wonder that seems to make even the sterile walls soften around her.
You realize in an instant why she insists. Just weeks ago, Dr. Na taught her how to read the clock, how the long hand marks minutes and the shorthand hoursâand today her little brain leapt to the only logical conclusion: the hands meet at twelve, so it must be lunchtime. She remembers your promise but knows too that surgeryâand what she calls âDadaâs magic healing wandââtakes far longer than a tick of the clock. So with earnest, two-year-old conviction she taps your cheek and chides, âMy wuv, you so silly! Lunch time only at twelve.â Her correction, wise beyond her years, unspools the knot of guilt in your chest and draws a soft laugh from your lips.
âSmart girl,â you concede, hooking her small finger with yours. âAll right, then weâll eat later, but weâll call it ânot-lunch.â Deal?â
âDeal,â she agrees, dimples flashing. She releases your leg and pats the pocket where you keep your pen as if sealing the contract in ink. Behind you, Dr. Naâs gaze remains sidelong and frosted, yet something in the curve of his mouth softens as he steps forward, scooping Haeun into the secure cage of his arms. He kisses the crown of her head, voice a hush meant only for her. âDaddy loves you, be brave for me.â She taps his cheek twice, one tap for courage, one for love, then whispers, âMy hero, Dada,â before reaching over his shoulder to wiggle her pinky at you one more time, confirmation that promises, like hearts, must always keep beating.
She straightens her back and sucks in a breath, trying to look brave, but her tiny fingers knot into the fabric of his scrub top as she peers up at him with wide, anxious eyes. âYou be okay? You come back?â she murmurs, voice trembling like a leaf in a breeze. He leans down, brushes her button nose with his lips, and murmurs reassurance into the curve of her cheek. âDaddy loves you,â he promises, voice warm as sunrise, âyouâre always first. Iâll be back fast, Iâll always come back to you..â In that soft twilight of promises and parting, her small frame relaxes just enough, held safe between two hearts determined to return.
Jaemin turns to you, all softness gone. âMake sure OR Three is prepared, perfusion on standby, call Dr. Song from anesthesia, and page Dr. Huang. Iâll take her to Nurse Ahra.â His tone leaves no oxygen for argument. He strides out, scrub top half-fastened, Haeunâs arms looped around his neck, and for a fleeting breath you watch the two of them disappear, the echo of her whisperââI wuv my hero dada!ââfading into the broader hush of the ward. Only then do you feel your own pulse surge, the chart still trembling in your hand, as you pivot toward the surgical suite and the boy whose heart may already be counting its final beats.
Nurse Yuha steps into the soft hallway light, arms open like a gentle harbor, and Haeunâs grip on Dadaâs scrub top loosens as she turns with a flurry of golden curls. Perched on Yuhaâs hip, she lifts a chubby hand and blows two sloppy kissesâone for you, one for her Dadaâbefore burying her face in the nurseâs shoulder and erupting into delighted giggles that sound like windchimes. Yuha promises a colorful sticker chart and tiny cups of warm milk, a stack of storybooks waiting in the playroom just beyond the sliding doors, and assures her that Bunny will have his own special snack box. Haeun nods solemnly, eyes bright as stars, then tugs free to pat Yuhaâs cheek and imitate the soft coo of a lullaby, her amazing little laugh echoing through the corridor like a promise that sheâs safeâtucked into this circle of care until Dada returns.
The moment you and Dr. Na step into the corridor, silence rises like a tide between you; he still hasnât met your eyes, and the hum of overhead fixtures feels suddenly thunderous around the rapid thud of your pulse. Dr. Huang Renjun intercepts you halfway to the lift, tablet already aglow with Sang-junâs images. âConfirmedârapid dilation at the pulmonary trunk,â he says, the words brisk but shadowed by worry. âHeâs high risk, weâre running out of time.â You fall into step between them, heart rattling, unable to speak; only when you dare a glance up does Jaemin break the hush.Â
âYouâll assist,â he states, flat as slate. âLetâs see if your theory holds.â No praiseâonly a razor-thin invitation to prove youâre not wrong, an honor he has never granted another second-year.
Steam halos the scrub sinks, turning stainless steel into a mirror of shifting light. You press the foot pedal; warm water floods over your forearms in rhythmic waves while antiseptic soap lathers between your fingers, the citrus scent sharp enough to steady your pulse. Dr. Na steps up beside you, then inches behind, close enough that the heat of his chest radiates through the thin cotton of your scrubs. The fluorescent glare bleaches every color but brings his reflection into crystalline focus, eyes narrowed, expression unreadable.
âWalk me through it,â he says, voice pitched low, as though the tiled walls themselves shouldnât overhear. âFirst move when you open the pericardium.â
You swallow. âIncise along the phrenic nerveâs reflection, shallow angle, avoid catching the right coronary.â The answer slips out half a note too breathless, so you force your shoulders back, rinse, and begin again with steadier cadence: âRetract superiorly to expose the ascending trunk, then place stay sutures before establishing the plane.â
His scrutiny never breaks. âConfident hands,â he corrects, tone razor-smooth. âUncertain hands bleed. And after exposure?â
You meet his gaze in the mirror. âAssess for tension at the graft anastomosis, check distal flow, then proceed to the aneurysmal sac.â The tremor in your voice fades with each word.
Satisfied, he turns, handing you a towel, and together you move into the prep room where scans flicker on a wall-mounted monitor. He taps the angio imageâthe faint, ghost-white bulge you found. âWhy does this matter?â
âItâs a false lumen,â you say, drawing a slow breath. âPressure is pushing blood between layers, if it tears free, he bleeds out before we can clamp.â
Dr. Na inclines his head, acknowledgment and challenge in a single motion. âSo, are you going to prove it?â
âYes, Doctor,â you answer, the words anchoring your resolve like suture knots. He hands you the needle driver, practice skin already draped. You slip the point through synthetic tissue, feel his gloved knuckles brush yours as he steadies the bite for tension. For a heartbeat everything narrows to the slide of thread and the whisper of his breath at your temple.
âStay with me,â he murmursâcommand, promise, and impossible invitationâbefore he turns toward the doors, the gleam of the operating lights pooling across his shoulders like armor waiting to be tested.
Inside OR 3, antiseptic fumes mingle with the metallic tang of cautery, and every surface gleams beneath surgical lamps that burn as bright as judgment. Sang-jun, barely three, his eyelashes still feather-soft, lies motionless on the draped table, lips already paling to the color of paper snow. The scrub nurse counts instruments in a hushed litany, while the perfusionist adjusts flow rates, the hiss of oxygen punctuating each clipped exchange. You stand opposite Dr. Na, fingers half-numb inside powder-blue gloves, eyes fixed on the midline Dr. Naâs has inked from sternal notch to xiphoid: a single, merciless road.
âScalpel,â he commands, and the blade settles into his palm as if forged for it. The first incision is a stroke of absolute certainty, skin parting in a clean crimson line, edges precise as cut crystal. âIdentify subcutaneous fat⊠fascia⊠here.â His narration is cool as the operating lights; gone is the lullaby warmth he once used to guide you. Every layer becomes an oral exam: âName the vessel, state the clamp position.â Your answers snap back, brittle and fast, because each pause tightens the invisible band of his scrutiny.
Rib spreader ratchets open with a groan, and the sternum yields. He leans in, voice low enough that only you catch the edge of it: âPericardium next. Whatâs your angle?â You recite the protocolâthirty degrees, shallow bitesâwhile your pulse drums in your ears.Â
He nods once, unsmiling. âProceed.â Even the way he passes control is a test; your hands hover, then settle, and for three heartbeats the world steadies around the soft snip of Metzenbaums.
The moment splinters without warning. The arterial line alarms, a shrill, panicked note, and the monitor floodlights red across oxygen saturation:Â ninety-four, eighty, sixty-two. Vent pressures spike. âAneurysm wallâs giving,â Renjun mutters, voice suddenly gravel. Then the sac ruptures, a dark surge that fills the field, blood climbing the drapes like ivy. âWeâre losing him,â Renjun warns, an octave lower than before.
âSuctionânow.â Dr. Naâs jaw snaps shut, pupils narrowing to flint. You thrust the Yankauer forward, your own breath snagging as crimson pools under the light. He works in blister-fast sweepsâclamp, suture, tieâbut the tissue slips, friable as wet silk. Your brain stutters; hands hover useless for one terror-bright second before muscle memory drags you back: pass the pledget, call the vitals, check perfusion flow. Still, the rhythm between you falters, stitches pulled too tight, instruments hitting the tray a half-beat late.
âEpi, one milligram,â Renjunâs voice cuts through the chaos as he orders the first dose of epinephrine, the drug surging through the IV line without coaxing a single rebound in saturation. Without pause, a second dose follows, and hands move into rhythm. closed fists pressing into a tiny chest that rocks beneath their weight. Eleven minutes unfold like a taut wire stretched over an abyss, each second marked by the steady pulse of alarms and the wet slap of suction. At last, the monitors fall silent, the once-flickering waveform dissolving into an unbroken line of darkness.
Dr. Hwang Renjunâs voice cuts through the dim hush like a cracked bell: âTime of death, 15:42.â His words hang in the air, each syllable a hammer blow against the cathedral silence of OR 3. Dr. Naâs hand, still curled around the scalpel, trembles against his palm; only when you press a light fingertip to his sleeve does his grip finally loosen, the blade clattering onto the metal tray. His shoulders collapse as though the weight of every prayer, every sleepless vigil, has come crashing down, and he stands bowed beneath the invisible burden of a childâs unfulfilled tomorrow. The drapes rise again, forming a pale shroud over Sang-junâs tiny form, arms folded as if in sleep, too small for the world they once embraced. A surgical lamp dims, its dying glow painting every face in slate-grey sorrow, and the remaining team drifts away in single file, the wet echo of suction and the relentless beep of monitors replaced by the hollow thrum of hearts breaking.
You remain rooted to the spot, breath gone, your mind a portrait of all that was lost: Sang-junâs father, who scrambled second jobs through long nights to keep his son alive on a tide of medications; his mother, who sang lullabies in the hospital hallway, sleeper soft with hope; his little sister who waited at home for her brotherâs bedtime stories, her small heart unaware that the story would end today. Jaemin stands opposite you, gaze fixed on the blood-darkened gauze, as if willing it to rewrite its own truth. When at last he turns, his eyes are hollow hurricanes of griefâcontrolled, implacable, yet cracking at the edgesâand he steps back, leaving you alone with the echo of Renjunâs declaration, the memory of a childâs bright laughter now extinguished, and the terrible, echoing quiet of a life that could not be saved.
Outside the theatre, the world feels unsteadyâcorridor lights gleam off pooled droplets on the floor as Jaemin peels away his blood-slick gloves with sharp, uneven snaps. Your shoulders convulse with a sob you canât hold back, but he doesnât meet your eyes; instead, he stares at the gloved hands heâs just shed, the tremor of rage and grief rippling across his jaw. When he finally speaks, his voice is a rasped echo of steel. âSave it,â he spits, each word scraping the air. âYou canât attach to every outcome.â
Tears blur your vision, but you force the truth past quivering lips. âMy theory was rightâbut I was too late.â
He inhales, a breath that sounds equal parts sorrow and ire, and for a bare heartbeat you glimpse the man unmasked: the surgeon who has carried every promise of countless parents, now shaken by one he could not keep. âNo one else wouldâve caught it,â he says at last, the praise so thin it cuts both ways. âAt least we tried.â He turns as though to leave, shoulders hunched beneath the weight of every loss but then he pauses, pivots back toward you, gaze sharpening. Scrubs streaked with dried blood, arms folding into a stance of unyielding authority, Dr. Na fixes you with a stare that brooks no argument. His voice, low and steely, slices through the corridorâs fluorescent hum: âDo not tell her.â
You feel your throat constrictâa single, ragged gulpâbefore you exhale a shuddering sigh and lift your head in a trembling nod. Every fiber of you aches with empathy: this man, who rescued that child from deathâs doorstep time and again since he was barely more than an infant, only to watch him slip away in the crucible of the OR. You know he stands on the edge of despair, raw from loss, and yet must pivot instantly back into the role of protector for the only life that matters more to him than his ownâhis own daughter. The weight of his double bind settles in your chest: surgeon and father, healer and mourner, forced to cradle one broken heart even as he shields another from the same cruel truths. You swallow again, steadying your voice, because you understand that his greatest battle now is not on any operating table, but in preserving innocence for the little girl who calls him âDada.â
He glances past you to the family waiting roomâwhere another set of parents has just been brokenâjaw set so hard the muscle jumps, knuckles whitening against the wall as though it alone can steady him. This is a surgeon who loses children more often than sleep, yet each absence still bites bone-deep; you see it in the faint tremor of his shoulders, in the flash of fear that this loss, or the next, might one day be his own, his own baby girl. Guilt folds into dread, dread into a cold fury at a universe that lets tiny hearts bear such weight. He draws one ragged breath. âSheâll hear it from me. If she hears it from anyone else, especially when youâre still crying, it will break her. You know how she reads a room; you need to be steady. You promised her lunch, so you give her lunch. You act normal. She needs routine so be her anchor. Donât let her feel it until Iâm ready to give it words.â His tone sharpens the air like a scalpel, but when he pinches the bridge of his nose the veneer fractures long enough for raw panic to pulse through. âSheâd cry herself to sleep if you didnât show,â he finishes more softly, wiping at his own eyes. âSo protect her joy until Iâm forced to take it apart.â
Your throat burns, tears already haloing your lashes; still you square your shoulders, forcing calm into each syllable. âI understand, Doctor. Iâll keep it exactly as we promisedâlunch, play, everything. Sheâll only see smiles.â You swipe the last salt from your cheek, lift your chin. âIâve got her, sir, until youâre ready.â A flicker of gratitude skims his gaze before the mask clicks back into place; he nods once, turns toward the grieving familyâs room. You draw a breath deep enough to steady a quake, then pivot toward the nursesâ lounge, rehearsing your own fragile smileâbecause for the next few hours you will be a harbor, and grief, like the tide, must wait outside.

You shoulder the door into the pediatric nursesâ lounge, a quilt of sound and color unfurls around you: sunlight drapes itself over sunflower-yellow walls, bright murals of rocket ships and storybook castles chase one another across the ceiling, and every cabinet surface blooms with bunny stickersâpink, violet, holographicâlike a garden planted by Haeunâs small hands. The air carries three distinct notesâcitrus-sharp sanitizer, the waxy sweetness of half-peeled crayons, and a lingering ribbon of strawberry yogurt that makes you think of spring mornings and sidewalk chalk. Soft jazz hums from a tinny speaker, mingling with the laughter of half a dozen nurses perched on beanbags and stools, each offering a turn at being examined by the wardâs tiniest cardiologist.
At the roomâs center, Haeun presides from Nurse Yuhaâs lap, gold curls haloed in fluorescent light, cheeks aflame with delight, Bunny tucked like a royal scepter beneath one arm. She presses her plastic stethoscope, with its heart-shaped diaphragm, to Yuhaâs chest and leans in with theatrical gravity. âBoom-boom goodâlub-dub, lub-dub!â she pronounces, and the circle of nurses dissolves into applause as though she has just performed a miracle. Her eyes glide over the crowd, searching, always searching, until they catch on you standing in the doorway. In an instant she transforms from physician to comet: she wriggles free of Yuha, socks squeaking on linoleum, and launches down the aisle, Bunny flapping behind her like a pink pennant in the wind.
âMy girl! My wuv! You so pwettyâI wuv you!â she shrieks, the words bright as thrown confetti. She collides with your legs at full tilt, arms latching around your calves; the jolt nearly topples you, and your hands dart to steady the curve of her small back. Hiccough-giggles sputter from her chest as she cranes upward, tiny palms capturing your cheeks, mouth puckered for a shower of kisses that taste faintly of yogurt and afternoon sun. âWe lunch now? We lunch? We lunch?!â Each repetition is a sparkling plea, hope vibrating in her voice like the high string of a violin.
You crouch until your knees touch the warm floor, the mural dragons swooping just above your head, and gather her into the cradle of your arms. Her curls tickle your neck; her Bunnyâs soft ear brushes your jaw; and all the grief that has carved hollows in your ribs seems, for a heartbeat, to fill with light. âYes, baby,â you murmur, voice still raw but steady enough to hold her world intact. âLunch now.â She releases a triumphant squeal, burrows tighter, and plants rapid-fire kisses across your chin while the nurses, smiling behind damp lashes, watch the two of you slip through the door, routine intact, promises upheld, the corridor ahead glowing with the fragile, stubborn brightness of a child who believes love is a meal that always arrives on time.
The internsâ lounge has never quite shaken its antiseptic tang, yet midday light makes the vinyl floor glow like warmed honey, and the laminate table, scarred by years of coffee rings and capped syringes, feels, for this hour, like the safest shore in the world. Two years ago you stood at an isolette instead of a table, four exhausted interns huddled around an incubator while a newborn fought for every breath. You remember unwrapping cafeteria sandwiches in silence, pretending the tiny figure under UV lamps could hear your soft jokes, believing laughter might stitch her more tightly to this side of living. In that era her lunch was a milliliter of fortified formula slipped into an NG tube, her blanket a nest of wires and warming pads. Today, in triumphant contrast, Haeun sits upright in a high chair you covered with a bunny-print cloth, bare feet drumming the metal rung, curls haloed in the fluorescent glow. She has appointed herself âbig girlâ of the kitchen, giggling whenever Jihoon exaggerates the clang of the juice machine, and you canât help thinking that this ritual, weekday noon, same table, same constellation of friends, has become the arterial beat of her childhood: nourishment, safety, presence, family.
You lay out her lunch as though setting an altar. First her sandwich, cheese and strawberry jam, cut into four tidy hearts; next a pink bunny-themed juice box with the straw pierced but still sheathed so she can do the grand reveal; then a yogurt cup whose foil you peel only halfway, folding back the lid so it becomes a tiny tray; finally, strawberries shaved into flower shapes, the edges smoothed so no seed catches on her tongue. Only when every item is in its rightful place do you unpack your own food. Her eyes widen, starburst bright. âSo pwetty!â she gasps, leaning to plant a sticky kiss on your cheek. âThank you, my wuv!â She tugs your sleeve with urgent tenderness. âSit! Sit wif me pwease? We eat togever!â She squeezes your hand as if sealing an oath. You settle beside her; she immediately scoots her plate an inch closer to yours, legs kicking until one heel bumps your thigh, a grounding contact she seems not to notice but you feel like a pulse.
Haeun is a pocket-sized burst of daylight amid the hush of hospital bluesâa sunflower-yellow dress puffed around her like a petal spun from honey, butter-soft bow pinned above her fringe as though it decided to bloom there just for her. Against the cool wash of your light-blue scrubs she glows even brighter, cheeks lit with rose-petal pink, lashes fanning over half-moon eyes that crinkle each time her laughter curls up from somewhere deep and simple. Tiny fingers knead Bunnyâs fleece while the other hand clutches your sleeve for balance, and every wobbling step makes the dotted fabric ripple like a field of marigolds in a secret breeze. Even the sterile corridor seems warmer for carrying her, this bright, giggling sunbeam whose whole body tilts toward love the way real blossoms lean into light.
Hyejin slides in on your left, Jihoon claims the seat across, and Dayoung, ever multitasking, balances a latte on one hip of the table. The teasing ignites instantly: âBubba, youâre eating more than Jihoon!â Haeunâs laugh unfurls, spiraling up the tiled walls like a ribbon. Determined to keep pace with the adults, she straightens her back, folds her hands over the heart-shaped sandwich, and cocks her head in perfect imitation of your morning case-conference posture. When talk drifts to the ventricular-assist trial, her little brow furrows in exaggerated concentration; you lean close, whisper a pocket-sized definition, and she pops up, triumphant: âI know dat wordâaneu⊠aneuwism!â The syllables tumble, endearing and earnest, but the room rewards her with applause as though she has just solved the Grand Rounds puzzle. She claps for herself, cheeks flushing rose-bright, then mimics Jihoonâs habit of jotting notes by pretending her spoon is a pen and the yogurt lid a chart. Jihoon sneaks her another strawberry; Hyejin catches a drip of yogurt with a napkin swipe; Dayoung tops off the juice box like a seasoned sommelier. Itâs impossible to tell who cherishes whom more, the child radiating upward or the adults bending toward her light.
Without ever pausing to think, you move through a liturgy of tiny devotions that have, over two years, made you the fixed star in her small sky. The moment she squealsââNew sticker, wook!ââyour fork is forgotten, your shoulders tipping forward as though Sothebyâs itself has begged for provenance. You cradle the glossy bunny decal between thumb and forefinger, tilt it toward the overhead light, and pronounce it a masterpiece; she preens, cheeks round with pride, as if your admiration has nudged the planet one click closer to perfect alignment. A dollop of yogurt escapes her spoon; you catch it with the pad of your thumb, swipe the smudge from her lip, and murmur, âThere we go, my pretty girl,â in the same tone surgeons reserve for closing a flawless stitch. She beams, eyes crescenting, shoulders dropping in such visible relief that you feel the trust settle between you like a soft-weighted blanket.
Her legs, restless with happiness, begin to swing; before the rhythm can topple her chair, your palm finds the delicate length of her shin, a gentle ballast that slows the pendulum of toddler energy. Her doe-soft eyes blink up at you. wide, curious pools of wonder and she tilts her head, that shy furrow between her brows. Then, gathering courage in her tiny chest, she puckers her lips and blows you a hearty, breathy kiss that lands against your cheek like a soft promise. In that single fluttered moment, her whole world seems to expand and contract around you: her heart so full it feels heavy and intense, a secret she shares only with you and Daddy, a feeling she has never known with anyone else.
Conversation flows over her head in adult currents, dosage calculations, post-op schedules and each unfamiliar word makes her brows knit until you lean close, translate in a whisper, and watch her forefinger tap her temple as if she is pressing those syllables, tiny love letters, straight into memory. When her juice sloshes over the rim of its bunny box, she gasps, already apologizing, but you say only, âItâs all right, weâll clean it up together.â Two paper napkins, four hands, and thirty seconds later the spill has become a triumph of teamwork, and sheâs bright again, triumphant. Even Bunny is not forgotten: you fold a napkin into a nap-sized placemat and ladle an imaginary spoonful of soup toward his stitched mouth; her laughter, pure, effervescent, fizzes through the room and makes every fluorescent panel seem to glow warmer.
Midway through the meal, you wrap your fingers around hers, guiding the slippery yogurt spoon toward its target. Her entire hand goes slack inside your grasp, as if discovering a harbor she has sought all morning. She studies you thenâlong, unblinkingâdoe-soft eyes reflecting a devotion too large for so small a frame. In a voice hushed by awe she whispers, âYou my home.â The sentence drifts across the space between your hearts like a feather, yet lands with the density of a falling star, cracking something tender wide open inside your chest.Â
You swallow against the sudden tide, steady the spoon, and manage, âYouâre my home too, baby,â wondering whose world you have just rebuilt with those five words, hers or your own. She sighs, a tiny sound heavy with contentment, and nestles her head against your shoulder; curls brush your jaw, fine as butterfly wings, and you tilt your cheek into their touch. In that strawberry-scented stillness, the universe contracts to a childâs heartbeat and an adultâs breath, and for one miraculous beat you both believe that sharing lunch, side by side, is enough to keep the whole fragile world from breaking. For the length of a strawberry-scented breath, you believe everything is healed and possible.Â
The child-therapy room is small enough that your footsteps soften as soon as you cross the threshold, yet Haeun makes it feel cathedral-wide, lungs full of laughter, arms full of possibility. You arrange a miniature round table at the center, pastel yellow plastic legs, lace-printed top and guide a polite circle of stuffed animals into their seats: Bunny presiding in a polka-dot chair, a one-eyed panda to his right, a plush giraffe stretching above them all like a courteous maĂźtre dâ. Jihoon folds himself onto a child-sized stool that creaks in protest; Dayoung kneels opposite, the skirt of her scrub jacket puddling on soft foam tiles. Haeunâs eyes widen at the sight of the thimble-china spread, cups no larger than a walnut, saucers brushed with tiny lavender sprigs and she claps twice, curls bouncing like miniature springs. âBunny says moâ shugah!â she announces with solemn authority, dipping an invisible cube into each cup and murmuring, âSip sip, so good!â before tipping her head back to âdrinkâ and letting out a delighted sigh.Â
She tucks one elbow on the table, chin cupped in her palm, and peers across at Jihoon in mock appraisal: âDo you want more, Mr. Panda? He nods, yes yes!â Then she turns to you, eyes dancing, and insists, âChef, one moâ pour for my wuv!ââcupping her pinky as she sips again, pink juice dribbling down her chin until you rescue her with a fingertip. When Dayoung pours âteaâ into Bunnyâs cup, Haeun giggles so hard she nearly tips backward, and shrieks, âBunny say tickle time!â before tickling the plush until its ears flop. Every so often she leans close to your ear and whispers, âI wuv you lots, best tea friend, my pwetty wuv,â her breath warm and sprinkled with sweetness.Â
You pretend to pour, then tip an imaginary kettle toward Jihoon, who raises his pinkie and sighs, âExquisite, Chef Haeun.â The room brightens a few watts when she beams. She sips air from her cup, eyes never straying far from you, as though every nod, every hum, is proof the sun is still in orbit. Twice, mid-giggle, she leans against your arm and whispers, âI so happy today,â the words small but weighty, settling inside your ribcage like a stone of light. You smile and smooth a curl from her cheek, yet a splinter of ache lodges under the moment: you know what waits in the afternoon, how this crystalline joy will fracture as soon as Dr. Na speaks the truth about Sangjun.
When attention drifts, you and Hyejin shift to the art corner. Thereâs a low wooden table scarred by decades of crayon zeal; between the grooves, fresh paper gleams. Haeun flattens a sheet, tongue peeking from the corner of her mouth, and sets to work with waxy fervor. Hyejin crouches behind, guiding her tiny fingers in backward, wobbling strokes until a proud name emerges: âHAEUN,â letters marching like uneven soldiers beneath a yellow sun. âDatâs my famiwy,â she announces, turning the page toward you. Three stick figures, her, Jaemin, you, hold hands beneath an orange orb that radiates crayon fire. Something inside you creaks open; you praise each line until her cheeks flush deeper than strawberry yogurt. A second drawing follows: two stick bodies, balloon strings sprouting from clenched fists. âDis for Sangie,â she says. âWhen his boo-boo better, we hold hands foâever.â Hyejin catches your gaze; her smile trembles, wet at the corners. Your own chest pulses, raw, how do you cradle hope this fragile without crushing it? You tell her itâs beautiful, voice thick, and she nods, satisfied, slipping the masterpiece into a glitter-trimmed folder marked âFOR SANGJUN.â
Promise number three is the bubble bath. Hayoung has already run warm water in the therapy tub, clouds of citrus-scented foam rising like whipped cream peaks. Haeun squeals, stripping off her yellow dress, tiny limbs flashing gold in the fluorescent light. Dr. Na has finally come from updating the family, updating records and a much needed moment away for himself, he materializes at the doorway, shoulders squared yet eyes still rimmed red. Haeun squeaks âDada!â and he crosses the room in three long strides, kneeling to press a kiss to her damp curls.Â
âHi baby girl, I missed you,â he murmurs, voice thinned but tender. You feel the heat of him, broad chest under dark blue scrubs, sleeves clinging to biceps slicked by recent scrubbing and your pulse flickers with something embarrassingly electric before you turn back to the tub. He lingers by the wall, trusting you and Hayoung to steer the ritual, arms folded but gaze soft.
âLook, Dada, I swim!â Haeun cries, paddling in place; rubber duckies bob along the surface, Bunny (plastic-sleeved) officiates from a towel, and a leggy foam bunny hat perches atop her curls.
She holds the two ducklings aloft, one rotund, one pint-sized, then lowers them into the foam as if unveiling champions at a finish line. âMama duck, baby duck,â she chants, voice bright with ceremony. But as the plastic birds begin their gentle parade, her small gaze drifts over your shoulder, landing shyly on the curve of your neck, the few stray droplets of water that catch in your hair. In that glance is a world of things she canât yet name: gratitude for hands that cradle her soft curls without ever rushing, wonder at the quiet way you blend soap into each strand as if it were spun gold, and a tender questionâdo you see how much I love you? Her lashes flutter, cheeks warming, and her heart pulses a secret drumbeat of trust. Though she returns to cheering her ducklings, her eyes keep flicking back, tethered to you by a thread of devotion that feels both vast and fragile, a silent promise that she understands, in this warm, scented bubble bath, exactly how deeply you care. She ships, âGo, Mama! Go, Baby!â until the bath echoes with her triumphant laughter.
You crown her with a bubble tiara; she screams delighted protest, scoops fistfuls, and plops them onto your head in revenge. Hayoung catches the moment on her phone, your grin dripping foam, Haeunâs laugh arcing like a fountain and the image freezes every shadow of the day for one perfect instant. Routine is her gravity: after the splashes subside she asks, as always, âBraid hair, wight?â and you promise, guiding her out with a towel cloak, whispering a silly story about a ballet-dancing giraffe while you pat her dry. She hums along, eyes closing halfway, body lax with trust; sheâs drifting toward a nap when Dr. Na re-enters, quiet as dusk.
He watches you braid her damp curls, one, two, three loops, then cups the back of her head, murmuring something low that makes her smile without opening her eyes. You feel a pang of wonder and dread: for this brilliant, laughing child the world has narrowed to two immutable anchors, Daddy and You, and in minutes one of those anchors will break the horizon with news that rends the simplest map of friendship sheâs ever drawn. You tie the last ribbon, kiss the crown of her head, and hand her into her fatherâs arms, every promise kept for now, every shadow waiting just beyond the doorway.
Jaemin steps through again, eyes rubbed raw, jaw locked into a marble line, shadows still clinging to the hollows of his throat, yet every grief-crease has been ironed flat into authority. Conversation evaporates; Hyejin, Jihoon, and Dayoung murmur quick good-byes and slip past him, coats whispering along the wall. You move to follow, pulse skittering, but his voice, low, cooled to surgical steel, cuts across the hushed clatter of toys. âStay.â A single hand closes around your elbow, just above the bend, heat searing through scrub fabric; the grip is brief, almost clinical, yet it pins you more surely than restraints. He never meets your eyes. gaze fixed somewhere over your shoulder, mouth a thin slash but the weight of his palm lingers long after he releases you, leaving your skin tingling, your breath shallow, as if the room has shrunk to the outline of his fingers and the unspoken order vibrating beneath your ribs. Then he coughs once, as if clearing ash from his throat, retracts his hand, and adds in a softer register, âHaeun will need you.â The words hang between you like fragile glass, and you inhale, trembling, knowing exactly what he means.
The door hushes closed behind the last intern, and Jaemin moves into the pool of warm light near the tub, shoulders squared, face drained to pale marble. His gaze drifts to Haeun, perched on a small chair in fresh sunflower-yellow pajamas, thumb slipping in and out of her mouth as her braids swing over her shoulders. She watches him with wide eyes, feeling giddy and shy, her braid ends sweeping her chest as she slips her thumb from her mouth. âDada!â she chirps, hoisting herself into his lap. He gathers her close, one trembling hand smoothing her braid, the other cupping her back.
âI was Dadaâs good girl today!â she announces, voice bright with pride. âI had lunch wif my tea partyâBunny say moâ shugah! And I draw for Sangie, and we wash up in bubbles!â Her words tumble over each other, each achingly perfect detail of her day. Jaeminâs throat tightens, and he presses a gentle kiss to her temple. âAnd my wuv,â she chirrups, glancing shyly at you, âshe set up my lunch, cut heart sammich just for me! She peel my yogurt and wipe my chin, and she pour Bunnyâs tea too!â She giggles, pride tumbling off her tongue, then reaches one chubby hand toward you. âYou my girl!â she adds, pressing a quick kiss to your scrub top before turning back to her father. âDada, my wuv make me feel so happy!â Her small chest rises with the weight of her joy, and in that cascade of toddler praise, you and Dr. Na share a look of quiet wonder, two guardians wrapped in the purest love this little princess could ever know.
She wiggles until her small hand brushes against a sheet of paper on the tableâs edge. âLook, Dada!â she whispers, eyes bright as dawn. She holds up her newest treasure, crayon strokes bold and happy. âI make dis for Sangie. I your âprincess drawer,â right?â Her head tilts up in hopeful question, soft curls brushing his chin, and for a moment the world narrows to her trusting gaze and the warm weight of her in his arms.
He lifts her chin with gentle fingers, eyes soft as dawn. âOh, my precious angel,â he coos, voice trembling with warmth. âYouâre so smart and so kindâyou always listen to Dada and believe him, right?â She nods vigorously, curls brushing his lips, and he presses a feather-light kiss to her forehead. âSuch a brave, clever girl,â he whispers, voice thick with love. âIâm so proud of you, my little sunshine.â He smooths a stray curl from her forehead, voice thick with emotion as he rasps, âYouâre my brave, smart girl, Haeun. My whole heart.â He repeats. For a moment, his smile trembles, eyes flickering to shadows she canât name but she feels it.Â
Haeun tilts her head, brow furrowing in toddler concern. âWhy you sad, Dada? What happen?â she whispers, voice small. âYou get boo-boo?â Before he can answer, she cranes forward, planting a chubby hand on his cheek. âHaeunie kiss it better for you!â She presses a soft, earnest kiss to the crease of his jaw, eyes wide with unwavering faith, and in that tender gesture he feels both heartbreak and healing, because in her innocence she believes love can mend even the deepest hurts. Beneath the praise lies something darker: the quiet dread that this fragile, wonderful life could be snatched away by the very heart that drives her laughter. He tastes salt on his lips, recalling every labored beat, every echo of monitors in sterile rooms, and the fear that one day those beeps will fall silent forever.
Like sunshine through shifting clouds, she flits away from sorrow, babies are like dandelion seeds, scattering hope wherever they drift. She fishes the crayon drawing from her dress pocket, balloons, big smiles, two stick figures and holds it up proudly. âWhere Sangie? He sleeping soft now, right? When he wake up I give him dis!â Her hope is so bright it hurts to look at. Jaemin swallows.
He inhales slowly, gathering the fragile fragments of a sentence before he lets them fall. His thumbs brush her braid aside as he leans close, voice softening to a murmur meant for bedtime stories. âYou know how Dadaâs magic wand can make boo-boos go away?â he begins, and she nods, eyelashes quivering. He pauses, chest tightening with every memory of monitors and hurried footsteps, then continues gently, âWell, Sangjunâs heart was very, very tired. The doctors all did everything they could, they held their breath and tried to mend it but it wouldnât beat the way it needed to.âÂ
Her small brow scrunches in earnest confusion. She presses her thumb to her lips, voice trembling: âHe got new boo-boo?âÂ
Dr. Naâs hand finds hers, thumb tracing the ridge of her knuckles as he whispers, âNo, baby. Sangjun went to Heaven.â He lets the word hang like a lullabyâs last note. âHeaven is a place where hearts never hurt and naps last forever. Heâs safe there, but he wonât be able to come back.â The air stills around them, and in the hush he feels the weight of her world tilting, so he gathers her closer, whispering once more against her curls, âIâm here, love. Iâll stay with you.â
Confusion flickers, then stubborn disbelief. âCall him back, Dada. Tell him no nap, tell him Haeun miss him and need him. Maybe he come after sleep?âÂ
The plea pierces the room, Dr. Naâs breath stutters. âI wish I could, sunshine, but Heaven is very far. Phones donât reach that high.âÂ
Her lower lip trembles. âHe⊠no come back?â When Jaeminâs silent shake confirms it, the world tilts: she folds, sob breaking loose, tiny fists thumping helplessly at his chest. âBoo-boo! Sangie no come back! I need him come back!â Each syllable fragments into gasping hiccups.Â
Dr. Na gathers her tighter, rocking her against the steady drum of his own wounded heart. âBrave girl, my whole heart, Iâve got you. Youâre safe.â He repeats it like a mantra, voice cracking, tears gleaming in his lashes. She clutches his scrub top, drawing it to her cheek as if fabric alone can anchor her to this new, brutal truth. You turn away, throat blazing, as her grieving wail, raw, animal, innocent, fills every corner of the therapy room, and for one interminable minute the only sounds are her sobs, his murmured reassurance, and the faint drip of water from the still-warm tub.
Hourglass tears have dwindled to silver rivulets when Haeun finally stills against Dr. Naâs chest, chubby fingers brushing at her damp cheeks in determined swipes. Her small hands, unsteady from grief yet resolute in purpose, reach for the drawing tucked into her pocket. âI still give dis to Sangie,â she declares, voice catching on each consonant as she pries the paper free. âI give it to his Mama and Dada and baby sissy.â Her bravery trembles in the carved space of her throat.
Dr. Na nods once, slow and profound, and presses a trembling kiss to her temple. Without a word, he gathers her up, arms folding around her like fortress walls. He rises, shoulders squared in that quiet command born of both surgeonâs discipline and a fatherâs fierce protectiveness, and starts toward the door, instinctive, unwavering, expecting you to follow without question. Outside the therapy room, the hallway lights feel harsh after the muted comfort within. He leads the way to the hospital gift shop, each step measured. You trail behind, breath thick with unshed tears. Inside, you find balloons bobbing against the ceiling: pastel blues declaring âCongratulations, Itâs a Boy!â and bouquets of white lilies and daisies arranged in trembling perfection. Jaemin picks a simple hand-tied bunch, petals soft as a promise, while Haeunâs small hand clasps your fingers, guiding you through the haze of color.
Those pastel balloons, once buoyant heralds of fresh beginnings, now drift overhead like hollow specters, their helium whispers mocking the fragility of breath itself. Each âItâs a Boy!â ribbon curls in the fluorescent glare as though spelling out a requiem: the promise of new life transformed into eulogies in midair. The daisies in your bouquet, creamy and innocent, seem suddenly like fractured hopes, their petals drifting loose at the gentlest touch. You can almost feel timeâs cruel slip, how a single heartbeat, unnoticed, can falter and fade, how the world can turn in a fraction of a second from celebration to grief. In this bright little shop, where crayons once sketched futures and tiny shoes clattered with first steps, you stand surrounded by objects meant to proclaim lifeâs arrival, now rendered absurdly hollow: reminders that even the strongest promises can unravel on a breath, and that joy and mourning are separated by the thinnest of membranes.
Dr. Na drapes the bouquet across the counter and lifts Haeun so she can place her drawing atop the flowers, careful fingers smoothing the paper as if tucking a child into bed. âFor Sangieâs family,â he murmurs, voice tempered steel and sorrow, and she echoes, âFor Sangieâs sissy.â In that moment, the three of you stand amid balloons and blossomsâlifeâs bright hurrahs ringing hollow beneath the weight of lossâand together you bear both the celebration and the mourning: a bouquet for a heart that will beat on, and a drawing for a boy who will sleep forever beyond the reach of words.
Dr. Na carries Haeun down the hushed corridor, his arms rigid with control yet trembling beneath the weight of her steady heartbeat; she curls against his chest whispering her private mantra, good girl, brave girl, strong girl, with each exhale, as though weaving armor from the words. Inside the Kim familyâs room grief hangs thick as iodine: Sangjunâs mother folded into her husbandâs arms, sobs breaking against his collar; the father rigid, white-knuckled, as if sheer will might keep the world from splitting anew. On a low couch the baby sister gurgles, blissfully detached, tiny fingers worrying the bunny charm that once brightened Sangjunâs IV pole. Haeun straightens in Jaeminâs hold, shoulders squaring with determined grace; he lowers her to the floor and she toddles forward, chin quivering but held high. âDis for you,â she says, offering the crayon drawing, two stick figures beneath balloons, hands forever linked. âHe my bestest fwend. I wuv him foâever.â Her bouquet follows, stems wobbling in her fist like green reeds in a storm. The mother receives the paper, and sound unravels from her throat, half thanks, half keening, while tears drop onto the bright wax sun Haeun had pressed so hopefully into existence.
Sang-junâs baby sister, hardly more than a dimpled bundle in lilac pajamas, totters toward the towering hush of adults, wide eyes searching for the brother whose crib now stands empty. She lifts a fist still clutching the IV-pole bunny charm, its plastic ear squeaking in the quiet, and reaches for the nearest island of warmth: Haeun. Though only a year older, Haeun seems suddenly enormous beside her, sunflower-bright bow, toddler limbs already threaded with the gravity of loss. She crouches with careful knees, tiny heart ticking behind a scar no wider than her thumb, and presses a kiss into the babyâs silken hair. âShhh, I pâotect you,â she vows, voice quivering yet sure. âYou my sissy now, Haeun love you big-big.â
The younger girl leans in, uncertain, and Haeun wraps stubby arms around her, their little hands bunching fistfuls of each otherâs pajamas. Two sets of translucent lashes flutter against damp cheeks; one child too young to speak grief, the other barely old enough to name it, yet already carrying the instinct to shield. Around them, grown hearts rupture in silence, mothersâ throats closing, fathersâ shoulders shaking but the roomâs center is these two trembling suns, their hug a fragile knot that tries to hold the universe together. You step back, air burning in your lungs at the brutal sweetness of it: one girl whose heart has been rebuilt by surgeons, consoling another whose world has been cleaved in half. Haeun strokes tiny fingers down the babyâs arm and whispers, âNo more boo-boo, I stay,â and in that soft promise, uttered by a child who knows hospitals better than playgrounds, the adults hear both a benediction and an indictment: love this small should never have to be so brave.
Outside the family suite, the hallway shrinks to a tunnel of harsh light and echoing footsteps, and the moment the door seals shut Haeun unravels in her Daddyâs arms. Her courage, stretched too thin, snaps; sobs burst out raw and unmetered, rattling her ribcage. Her fingers scrabble at his scrub collar, tiny knuckles whitening, as if fearing the world might pull her from him too. Cheeks blotched strawberry-red, eyelids puffed and glistening, she gulps air that wonât come fast enough. âDa-da⊠he m-my fwend⊠boo-boo,â she wails, voice breaking like glass; each syllable tremors through her small frame until her knees buckle. Hot tears sluice down, soaking the dark fabric over Dr. Naâs heart, and snot threads from her nose to his shoulder in shining ropes. âHaeu-nie sad too! So s-sad! My heart fweel⊠s-so boken, Dada!â She beats her fist once against her own chest, then clutches Bunny hard enough to bend the wire in its ears.Â
Dr. Na cinches her close, one hand sheltering the fragile knob of her spine, the other splaying across her heaving sternum as if to cage the pieces of her breaking heart. âIâve got you, baby girl. Always, alwaysâYouâre safe,â he whispers, voice fissured, repeating the words until his breath falters. But Haeun only buries her swollen face deeper into the crook of his neck, sobs spilling unchecked, proof that some wounds, even in the smallest bodies, bleed louder than any monitorâs alarm.
You stand a step away, hand pressed flat to the glass pane beside the door; your own vision blurs until the hallway doubles. The job youâve sworn to, the calling that owns your waking hours, has opened another seam in you: healer and witness, stitched together yet forever tearing. Behind the pane, you clock every excruciating detail, unable to stop cataloguing love and loss. The bunny charm Haeun clipped to Sang-junâs IV three days ago now dangles from his baby sisterâs fist, she gums the plastic ear with oblivious devotion, unaware it is a relic. Crayon drawings flutter on the family bulletin board: two stick figures beneath a blazing sun, names spelled in crooked capitals, proof that friendships can outlive pulses. A well-loved toy ambulance, Sang-junâs constant companion, sits abandoned on a windowsill; its silent siren feels like an accusation. Down the hall, a pair of nurses stand shoulder to shoulder, one wiping mascara tracks from the other one's cheek. Another nurse edges close to Dr. Na, lays a gentle hand on his arm before stepping away, eyes shining.
Sang-junâs father, stooped now with exhaustion even amid fresh grief, had taken every extra shift he could: overnight stocking shelves, delivering newspapers before dawn, scrubbing floors long after the hospitalâs children fell asleep. He lived on coffee and borrowed hours, chasing every penny for treatments, only to have the little burst of life heâd fought so hard to sustain slip through his fingers. And Sang-junâs mother, once a bright presence who curled her boyâs hair at bedtime, had watched him fade behind glass walls, her own hands trembling so fiercely she could barely hold a crayon for his drawings. The wedding band she never removed lay cold on her finger now, a silent witness to every promise broken, every hope snuffed out in the sterile hush of the ICU. In the hush between their sobs you feel the weight of their losing tilt the world off its axis, and you press your palm harder to the glass, as if you could shield them from all the lonely months of debt and sleepless nights that brought them to this moment of shattering.
Haeunâs sobs quiet to whimpers; she presses Bunny to her lips and whispers, âBunny sad too but Haeun even sadder.â The toy absorbs her confession without protest. Jaemin strokes her braid in rhythmic passes, forehead resting on the crown of her head, as though anchoring them both to gravity. A few doors down a patient monitor beeps, ordinary and indifferent, reminding you that routine will restart long before innocence returns. In this suspended hush, nurses shifting charts whilst sobbing, lights buzzing overhead, the scent of antiseptic threading through your lungs, you realise the day has altered every heart in its orbit: the grieving parents inside, the surgeon shaking though he pretends not to, the tiny girl learning what forever means, and your own, cracked open in new and irrevocable ways.

Fatherhood, Jaemin has learned, isnât the pastel promise stitched onto greeting cards but a night-shift of unrelenting vigilance, equal parts reverence and terror: itâs listening for the hitch in a toddlerâs breathing at 3 a.m.; itâs memorising medication schedules the way other men recite box scores; itâs holding a childâs sweat-damp body through grief so fierce it feels volcanic, then rising for rounds with the mark of her tears still salt-tight on his collar. itâs packing Bunnyâs spare bandages beside his own surgical loupes because anything less feels negligent; itâs steering past playgrounds where other fathers push carefree swings while he calculates oxygen saturation under summer heat; itâs smiling through cartoon theme songs while his mind replays the flatline of another little heart. And beneath the daily consolationsâbanana pancakes, crayon suns, whispered mantras of Dadaâs hereâlurks a colder arithmetic: the Kwon familyâs latest custody motion waiting in his email like an unexploded shell, the memory of Haeunâs birth mother (all frenzy and fractured vows) haunting every unlocked doorway. Love, he realises, is not merely cradling what is fragile but building ramparts around it, bracing for the moment paperwork or madness tries again to rip his daughter from his arms.
Morning unfolds in slow gradients of peach and gold, spilling through half-tilted blinds and pooling at the kitchen table where Haeun sits barefoot in her sunflower-yellow nightdress, knees tucked beneath her booster seat. A month has passed since Sang-jun slipped away, yet grief still drifts through her days like intermittent cloud cover: some mornings bright, others overcast and raw. Today the light is kind; it glints in her curls as she bends over a sheet of craft paper, tongue caught between her teeth in fierce concentration. Crayons scatter like fallen petals, sky-blue beneath her elbow, grass-green near her toes but she chooses each colour with purpose: a broad golden arc for the sun, three stick figures with matching curls, crooked hearts floating overhead. Every so often she lifts the drawing, squints as though comparing it to the room, then adds another radiant stroke.
Jaemin hovers at the stove, flipping banana pancakes on the cast-iron griddle, each turn timed to the kettleâs soft hum. His phone vibrates across the cutting board; one glance at the caller ID and the warmth in his shoulders locks. He strides over and answers, voice pared to clean steel. âDr Na speaking.â A pauseâstatic, a distant male voiceâtightens the room.Â
Haeun, oblivious, sings, âSun go boom-boom happy!â while ring-lighting her drawn sun with bright yellow rays. Jaeminâs knuckles whiten around the handset.Â
âNo,â he says, iron filling every syllable. âSheâs not going anywhere. She is my daughter.â He ends the call before the reply can finish, screen dimming as if never lit. Only the silent grind of his molars betrays the tremor beneath his calm.
Across the counter his laptop pings, an email from the Kwon familyâs attorney, subject line clipped and courteous: Request for discussion of legal guardianship. The preview alone is enough: references to visitation, lineage verification, a âneutral environmentâ for transition. Three pages of tidy strategy bloom in his mind, none of them speak of 3 a.m. fevers or the soft way Haeun curls her hand into his shirt while dreaming. He inhales onceâslow, deliberateâthen drags the message to Trash and watches it vanish, as if deletion could silence their claim.
The scent of caramelising batter tugs him back. Pancakes done, he stacks them on her pink bunny plate, dusts them with sugar, and crosses the floor. Sheâs too absorbed in her next detail, a lopsided rabbit with a crown, to notice him. âLook, Dada, Bunny got a hat!â she proclaims, scribbling a crooked triangle beside its ear. Jaemin sets the plate down, then scoops her up, syrup-warm cheek pressing to his collarbone. For an instant the legal wolves recede; there. only the anchor-weight of his child and the thud of both their hearts. âDaddy loves you,â he murmurs, vow and prayer entwined. âNo one is taking you, bubba.â
She blinks, maple-sweet smile climbing her face. Soft, crayon-smudged fingers pat his cheeks as if smoothing invisible creases. âDada silly,â she decides, then lifts her picture for inspection. âDatâs us! Dada big, Haeun small. We happy.â Her voice wavers, grief still ghosts the edges but the certainty is there: they are together.
He kisses the crown of her head. Outside the kettle shrills; inside she claps in triumph, sugar snowing onto the paper. Jaemin sets her back in her seat and slides the first pancake close. âEat up, artist,â he says, voice tender. She spears the fluffy circle, powdered constellations swirling in the sun-beam, and hums contentment.
Some nights unravel in fragments that feel longer than the hours allow. Haeun will pad into Jaeminâs room on bare, trembling feet, little fist rubbing her swollen eyes, and climb into his lap before heâs fully awake. There, grief detonates, soft at first, then spiraling into guttural sobs that quake her bird-small chest. Tears pool on his bare chest, her cheeks puffing crimson like bruised petals as she whispers the fear that gnaws her sleep to threads: âD-dada, my heart so hurty⊠Will Haeunie die too?â Each syllable is a plea he feels in the roots of his teeth. He rocks her through every tremor, pulse hammering with the terror he dare not voice, that one day the monitors will fall silent for her too. He strokes the scar beneath her pajama collar, presses a shaking kiss to her temple, and answers the only truth he allows himself: âNot today, love. Dadaâs here, right here.â They stay tangled until dawn stains the blinds, her breathing finally smoothing against the drum of his own heart as he softly cries himself to sleep not to wake her, forgiveness laced with exhaustion.
Other nights she wanders the hospital hallways calling softly for you, your name a question, a lifeline, until she finds refuge in the crook of your shoulder. There she becomes velcro-clingy: demands that you braid and unbraid her curls three times, insists on the long version of every bedtime story, begs you to trace hearts on her back until your fingertips go numb. Your calm becomes the harbor she docks in when the world tilts: she molds herself to your frame, thumb tucked in her mouth, eyes glossy as moonlit ponds, murmuring, âStay wif me. Read again. Sing again.â And you do, twice, three times because the tremor in her voice is a siren you canât ignore. Even when she finally drifts off, she clutches your wrist like an anchor line, fingers twitching each time you try to slip away.
Some dawns she wakes soaked in night sweats, cheeks salt-striped, and calls for both of you at once, even though youâve never stepped foot into her house. âDada? My wuv?â As though naming you might knit the world back together faster. Healing, youâre learning, is not a straight road but an uneven coastline: grief gusts in, recedes, and arrives again without warning. So you keep taking turns without actively communicating it, one whispering lullabies, the other counting her pulse because love is a long tidal breath, rising and falling until the day her small heart decides it can beat without fear again.
You, too, feel the tear: medicine can suture flesh, but it canât m always keep a child breathing. In off-hours you replay monitors, second-guess dosages, and weep behind locker-room doors. Yet every time Haeun sees you, she greets you with a wobble-smile and outstretched arms, proof that even grief can cradle grace. She presses Bunnyâs worn paw to your heart and whispers, âBunny sad too, but we okay,â and you believe her, because children speak in futures adults forget how to pronounce. So the routine endures: breakfast in toffee light, crayon suns on paper skies, Jaeminâs quiet sentry at the stove, your gentle translations of grown-up words, her small fingers tracing the scar on her chest while asking, âboom-boom strong today?â and you answer with soft certainty, âstrong as the sun, baby.â Outside the blinds, the world lines up its battles, but inside this circle of light Jaemin inhales the scent of syrup and shampoo, you cradle a budding laugh, and Haeun, heart stitched yet beating, draws another crooked rainbow to prove the day is still hers.
Morning settles over the hospital drive in a hush of cloud-filtered light, and Haeun, swaddled inside her sunflower-yellow coat, curls tucked beneath a matching bow, clings to Jaeminâs shoulder as though the world were suddenly made of glass. Since Sang-junâs passing these walls have lost their carnival shine; today she refuses every nurseâs greeting, buries her face deeper into the warm crook of her fatherâs neck, and lets only the faintest whimper escape. Jaemin feels the tremor run through her small frame, feels the way her fingers curl like question marks against his collar, and knows they canât take another step until he hands her courage first. He lowers to a squat, setting her patent shoes upon the tile, and draws her gaze with the gentlest tilt of his chin. âWhoâs Daddyâs girl?â he murmurs, voice gravel-soft, a secret offered between just the two of them.Â
At once her shyness detonates into a sunrise: âHaeunie!â she squeals, little knees wobbling. She claps so hard her entire body jiggles, stamps one pudgy foot for good measure, then slings her arms high and topples into his embrace, chanting âDada, Dada!â until laughter shakes loose like coins in a jar. He kisses the tip of her scrunched nose, wipes a stray tear from her lash, and reminds her, in words warm as pocketed stones, that bravery lives in her smile, beauty in her heartbeat, hope in every step she takes.
Still, the hallway feels too loud, the ceiling too tall. He senses her breath hitch; at once he whispers, âBubble breaths?âÂ
She nods. Together they inhale, slow, deep, imaginarily filling pink soap spheresâthen blow them out with pursed lips. âOne⊠three⊠two⊠more bubble!â She counts, numbers tangled but earnest. On the final exhale she pats her chest and declares, âAll calm, Dada,â and folds into a velvet-soft cuddle that steadies them both.
The routine appointment itself is a small miracle threaded through routine: Dr Renjun listens, probes, reviews the echo, and finally grins. âAll clear, superstar,â he says, offering a palm. Haeun slaps it in triumph, then secures matching unicorn stickers, one for herself, one for Bunny, before skipping back into Jaeminâs arms. Confidence restored, Jaemin turns the hallway into a game: the big checkup begins right outside the exam room. Kneeling, he taps the crown of her head. âShow Daddy where you feel good today.â She taps back: âHead good!â Belly nextââTum-tum happy!ââthen her tiny fists thump her sternum, âHeart go boom-boom!â She adds cartoon sound effects, âboom-BOOM, boom-BOOM,â and collapses into giggles.Â
Phase Two: âFind the Pulseâ unfolds like a secret ceremony. Jaemin cups Haeunâs small wrist in his rough surgeonâs palm, then guides her trembling fingers until they rest atop the gentle thrum beneath her skin. âFeel that?â he whispers, voice soft as dawn. âThatâs your heart talking to your hand.â
Her eyelashes flutter against glossy cheeks as she leans in, brow furrowed in fierce concentration. A tiny gasp escapes her, followed by a triumphant grin that splits her face into sunshine. âBoopâboop!â she chirrups, eyes sparkling like dewdrops. âDada, it say âhi!ââ He offers his own wrist without hesitation, a silent promise that they are bound in this unbreakable rhythm. Haeunâs fingers drift across his pulse, and she lets out a delighted squeak: âSame team!ââher astonishment as pure as the first bloom of spring.
From that moment on, uncertainty finds no lodging. If a tremor of fear ever drifts across her face, Jaemin kneels beside her and murmurs, âWant to check your heart again?â She nods, brave as a tiny soldier, places two earnest fingers to her wrist, breathes in slowly and long, and declares with unshakable pride, âAll good, Dada!â Itâs more than a check, itâs her passport to safety, stamped in the quiet language of love.
Today, leaving Cardiology with stickers gleaming and Bunny tucked beneath one arm, she holds Jaeminâs hand a little tighter but walks on her own feet. The massive surpriseâstill hidden behind Pediatricsâ double doorsâwaits like sunlight behind clouds. For now she is still shy, yes, and still mending, but the hallway echoes with her small voice practicing numbers in hopeful disorder, and with Jaeminâs quiet hum of approval that fits around her like a shield. Somewhere overhead a ventilator whooshes, monitors chirp, but inside their shared bubble of breaths and boop-boops, father and daughter move forward, one brave step, one counted pulse at a time, toward whatever brightness the day is willing to offer.

Morning pours itself across the private wing in a slow, honey-thick spill, glazing pale-oak floors and pastel murals in molten gold. Here the hospital feels more like a quiet conservatory than a clinic: ceilings vault high enough for light to linger, leather couches crouch in patient semicircles, and the faint perfume of lilies mingles with citrus sanitizer and the expensive musk of designer handbags resting on side tables. Through the hush drifts a single, contained energy, something waiting behind the conference-room door. Jaemin walks that gold-striped corridor with Haeun perched on his hip, her sunflower dress a bright echo of the painted bears and moons on the wall. Sheâs spent the whole morning pressing small, worried questions into the hollow of his throat, all questions that are about you. âDada, why my wuv busy long time? She fix big boo-boos? Where is she? I miss my wuv.â Each time he has stroked her spine and answered that once you finish saving other children youâll come to play.Â
You havenât been perched beside Haeunâs these past days because your pages of post-op notes and bleeps of vital alarms have kept you tethered to white-washed corridors far from her laughter. As a second-year intern on Dr. Naâs service, youâre the first to respond when a postoperative bleed bleeds into a code, the one juggling consults in ICU and drafting orders in the stroke ward, your hands never still for more than a heartbeat. While sheâs chasing bubbles down therapy-room halls, youâve been racing to the EKG station to verify a new arrhythmia or don your gown for an emergent bedside procedure, each duty pulling you farther from her sunflower-bright face. Youâve watched her cling to nurse Yuhaâs lap through a one-way glass and felt your heart twist because your promise to her dances on the edge of pager beeps and chart reviews: Soon, bubba, soon. But today, at last, you hope to step out of the shadows of the hospitalâs heartbeat and into the warmth of her arms, trading the clamorous urgency of your intern rounds for the soft certainty of being her âmy wuvâ once more.
What Haeun doesnât know is that Jaemin has arranged another kind of rescue first: behind that door waits the tight constellation of friends who carried him through every life he lived before fatherhood. At the threshold he slides one steady hand up her back, feels her tiny ribs expand beneath his palm, and pushes the door. Light flares outward, catching six familiar faces that pivot toward her with unfiltered joy: Lee Jeno stands like a steadfast lighthouse, his calm eyes cradling every secret fear Jaemin ever harbored, and by his side, his fiance, her laughter a silk ribbon that once mended Jaeminâs shattered nights, which gave hope from every quiet corner. Jang Karina gleams at the far end, poised and sculpted like marble brought to life, the worldless obstacles sheâs overcome traced in the elegant lines of her smile. Shin Ryujin and Osaki Shotaro lean together with the easy symmetry of a well-rehearsed pas de deux, twin flames of perseverance who have danced Jaemin through fear and celebration alike. And there, just beyond them, Donghyuckâs grin breaks like sunrise across a dark sky, the broadcasterâs voice still warm from telling impossible comebacks, heâs now here to herald Haeunâs own small victories. Each presence hums with stories of late-shift vigil, heartbreak soothed by shared laughter, and dreams kept alive by hands that refuse to let go. Together they form a living tapestry of strength and tenderness, a circle of light that will surround Haeun, her fatherâs past made whole, and her future made safe, long before she steals one shy glance their way.
Jeno steps forward first, voice warm as hearth fire, and sweeps Haeun into a playful dip, âHi princess, my spark, I missed you,â he says, as if she were the flicker that keeps his own light alive.Â
Beside him, his fiancĂ©e kneels down, her laughter soft as petals, tucks a stray curl behind Haeunâs ear and murmurs, âMy little moonbeam,â her eyes shining with the fierce pride of a mother.Â
Karina, all sleek confidence and couture poise, offers Haeun a single rose-shaped lollipop, âFor the boldest blossom I know,â she smiles, already stitching this tiny flowerâs future into every seam of her heart.Â
Ryujin and Shotaro exchange a conspiratorial glance before Ryujin lifts Haeun gently into a spin, Shotaroâs arms guiding her pirouette, âOur littlest prima ballerina,â they say in perfect unison, their movements echoing every lesson in perseverance theyâve ever taught.Â
Finally Donghyuck strides forward, his grin wide enough to fill a stadium, ruffles her curls like a playful breeze and exclaims, âLook at you, champ, breaking records in cuteness,â his voice carrying the electric thrill he brings to every live broadcast. Each greeting weaves another golden thread into the tapestry of her life, reminding Haeun that she is seen, celebrated and beloved by this constellation of hearts that will always orbit her light.
Her little victory crumbles like a sandcastle beneath a wave. For a heartbeat she stands amid their beaming faces, Jenoâs hearth-warm laughter, Karinaâs soft smile, Ryujin and Shotaroâs graceful encouragement, Donghyuckâs booming cheer, all of it spinning too fast for her tiny chest. Suddenly her knees wobble, her courage evaporates, and she darts back into Jaeminâs arms, pressing into the hollow of his shoulder as if it were homeâs doorstep. She shakes her head so fiercely her braids swing like pendulums, voice a trembling whisper. âWhy dey all here? Dey so loud anâ annoyinâ⊠anâ scary! I stay wif you, Dada?â His palm sweeps over her curls, a silent promise of patience, and the circle of aunties and uncles falls hushed and understanding, giving space to her shy heart to bloom again at its own pace.
Jaeminâs fingers brush a stray curl from Haeunâs temple as he tilts her chin gently, voice low and soothing. âTheyâre only your aunties and uncles, baby, you love them so much, you were telling me how much you missed them all month, so why are you so shy right now, Hm? They came just to see you,â he murmurs, eyes soft with reassurance.
She stamps her foot against his thigh, brow furrowing in stubborn determination. âI onwy wanna see my wuv⊠my pwettiest girl!â she insists, desperate to spend time with you, her voice quivering with fierce loyalty,Â
She lets out a soft sigh, breath warming the fabric of his scrub top, and peeks around his shoulder at the half-dozen faces that flood the room with light and noise. Each smile is one she knows and loves, Karinaâs poised warmth, Ryujinâs gentle nod, Shotaroâs amused tilt of the head, Donghyuckâs booming beckon but together they loom too large for her small heart to hold. Her lashes flutter shut as she buries her cheek against Jaeminâs collar, only to steal another glance: there, standing a little apart, is Jeno. tall and steady, the first to discover her secret world and the one whose laughter sung through her earliest days. Something bright and daring overcomes her shyness; with a little gasp of delight she scrambles free, braids bobbing, and launches herself into his open arms, giggles spilling from her like bubbles. âUncle No-no!â she coos, burying her face in the familiar cradle of his shoulder, as though in his embrace she can breathe again. In that instant, the swirl of surprise softens into safety. the world narrowing to the two of them, and her brave little heart steady once more.
Haeunâs gaze alights on Jenoâs fiancĂ©e as she steps forward, and in a burst of toddler bravado she scoots across the carpet. tiny feet pattering, until she can reach the curve of that waiting smile. With a series of breathy âmwah, mwahâ kisses she peppered across the fiancĂ©eâs cheek, she then presses her own nose to hers, eyes shining with mischief and affection. Jenoâs fiancĂ©e laughs, cupping Haeunâs little face in her hands, and the two of them sway in wordless camaraderie. Above their heads, Jaemin notices Jeno slip a hand into his fiancĂ©eâs, the twin wedding bands catching the late-afternoon light. He allows himself a small, bittersweet smile: in a matter of weeks, their vows will intertwine Jeno and his love forever, and if all goes well a tiny cousin will join Haeunâs world. Unaware of adult whispers, Haeunâs pudgy fingers drift to the soft swell of the fiancĂ©eâs belly, an instinctive gesture of kinship without knowing the life that lies there, before she looks up at Jaemin with solemn pride.
He feels a sudden hollow ache beneath his ribs, as though his own heartbeat recoils at the thought of Haeun ever feeling alone. In that quiet moment, he lets himself dreamâwish upon a star he scarcely believes inâthat one day she might tumble through the world with a laughing sibling at her side. Yet even as the hope blossoms, he knows its petals are forged of glass: fragile, beautiful, and bound to shatter. By the time the next sunbeam spills across his palms, he accepts the truth with brittle grace: it will always be just the two of them, two hearts caught in each otherâs gravity, carving their own constellation against the vast, uncharted night.
While Haeun basks in the tidal welcome, Jaeminâs thoughts slip down a quiet corridor of memory. For the first twelve months that he knew she was his daughter, he had vanished, letting only his parents and Jeno trace the fragile drum of her heartbeat. Terror made him selfish: he needed a world small enough to control, a sanctuary where fatherhood could bloom without interrogation. He remembers the night that sanctuary cracked, the isoletteâs glow painting her healing scar silver as he rocked her through a feverish dusk. The door had creaked, and Karinaâs voice, equal parts reprimand and reverence, had filled the room: âJaemin, you bastard. I want to be mad at you, but your baby is so beautiful.â All he could manage was a fractured whisper, âyou found us,â before the dam broke and those friends stepped inside, eyes shining with something fiercer than curiosity. They should have felt like intruders; instead, they became pillars holding the sky above his daughterâs crib. Fear still lived in him, fear of her faltering heart, fear of the mother who called her a parasite, fear of the law that might one day question custody but in that moment isolation yielded to a softer gravity. They entered his sanctuary that night, and they have never once let the walls close behind them.
Now, watching Haeun tuck her head beneath Jenoâs chin, Jaemin exhales a breath he doesnât know he had been holding. He gathers the tilt of light, the perfume of lilies, the sound of her giggle echoing off high ceilings, and he lets the weight of earlier grief ease for a heartbeat. Behind him the conference door swings shut on gentle hinges, sealing nine beating hearts inside one gilded room, and for the first time since Sang-junâs death he believes the day might finish in laughter instead of tears.
Haeun drifts between Jeno and his fiancĂ©e, already a radiant presence in her sunflower-yellow dress, her tiny hand reaching for the delicate lace of the gown. With solemn care, she presses her forehead to Jenoâs fiancĂ©eâs cheek in a toddlerâs version of a curtsy and whispers, âMy pwetty Auntie!â before offering a half-squashed fruit snack as tribute. Jenoâs fiancĂ©e laughs, sweeping Haeun into her arms and planting gentle kisses on each crayon-smudged finger, murmuring that sheâs the sweetest gift anyone could ask for.
Moments later, Jeno stoops beside them, holding a small plate of mini-donuts. Haeunâs eyes widen at the sugary sight, and she seizes Jenoâs hand in both of hers. âUncle No-no, one for me, one for Bunny?â she negotiates, her voice a determined trill. He obliges, slipping her a powdered treat, and she bites thoughtfully before beaming up at him: âYum-yum, thank you!â Jeno ruffles her curls, marveling at how such a tiny person can carry so much joy.
Jenoâs fiancĂ©e reaches into her clutch and withdraws a miniature card, its cover a swirl of pale peony petals and gold filigree framing the words âWill You Be Our Flower Girl?â in looping script. She offers it to Haeun with a conspiratorial smile, and the little girlâs eyes go wide as she gingerly takes the card, her thumb tracing the embossed blossoms. She turns it this way and that, brow furrowing in earnest concentration, before looking up at Jeno and attempting the grand, new phrase: âI be fwow⊠flowÂer⊠and look like Dadaâs pwetty girl?â Her voice wobbles with both question and pride, as though sheâs discovered a secret role in the greatest story.Â
Jenoâs chest softens, he sweeps her into his arms and murmurs, âExactly, beautiful. Youâll scatter petals and sparkle just like my shining star.â Haeun giggles, pressing the card to her cheek, already imagining herself in a frothy dress, petals dancing at her feet, the very picture of her fatherâs pride.
Her applause bursts from her like sunbeamsâtiny palms striking in rapid rhythms, curls bouncing with every enthusiastic slap. âFlow-er giwl! Flow-er giwl!â she squeals, voice ringing bright as a bell, clutching the card to her chest as if it were the crown of a queen. She hops in Jenoâs arms, eyes wide with delight, and presses her forehead against the invitation, murmuring each gilded word as if tasting a secret. Then she straightens, looking up at his fiancĂ©e with solemn pride: âHaeun scatta petuls, make all pwetty!â Before anyone can answer, she spins on tiptoe, arms flung wide like sheâs already scattering petals down an aisle of light, giggling so hard her laughter spills overâpure joy at understanding that soon, she will be the tiniest, most radiant flower girl in the world.
Haeun pads across the polished floor toward Karina, her sunflower dress swishing with each determined step, tugging gently at the hem of the designerâs silk skirt. Karina kneels to meet her, fingers already lifting a loose curl as if she canât wait to braid Haeunâs hair into another artful pattern. âMay I do your braids, darling?â she murmurs, voice warm as spun sugar.Â
Haeun shakes her head, solemn in her two-year-old resolve: âMy wuv will do my hair later! Dada said she pwomised! Thank you, though, Auntie Rina. I wuv you so next time, you do my hair!â She beams, cheeks dimpled, and skips back to Jaeminâs side. Karina straightens, brow knitting in gentle confusion, then lifts her gaze to find Jaemin watching, his jaw clenched, lower lip caught between his teeth, eyes dark with something like desire and restraint. For a flicker of a heartbeat the air between them quivers: the heated pulse of mutual desire, a fierce, unspoken hunger to claim the only body that sets your blood ablaze and stills the rest of the world.
Haeun wobbles free of Jaeminâs arms and toddles across the polished floor toward Ryujin and Shotaro, who stand beneath a pastel mural of swans in ballet poses. Her braided pigtails sway like tiny metronomes and her cheeks glow with rose-pink excitement. Shotaro kneels first, offering a steady hand, while Ryujinâs eyes crinkle with mock reproach as she smooths the tulle of Haeunâs skirt. âPrincess,â Ryujin coos, voice warm as honey, âwhy havenât you been to class lately?âÂ
Haeun pauses, little brow furrowing in earnest concentration, then places both chubby hands over her heart and whispers, âMy hweart been hurting, Auntie, Dr Jun say it need quiet or I get a boo-boo.âÂ
Jaemin sinks down behind her, warm hands cupping her ribcage as he brushes a loose curl from her forehead and tucks it behind her ear. The pale afternoon light pools at their feet; every granite concern of the hospital seems to ease away. âDr. Huang said your heart needs a little rest, baby bird,â he murmurs, voice soft like a lullaby, âbut youâre growing stronger each day. Pretty soon youâll be ready for the Winter recital, you missed the last one, and you deserve a dance all your own.â
Haeun tilts her chin up, those big doe eyes glimmering with determination. She presses a pudgy fist to her chest, the scar beneath on her chest peeking like a secret badge of honor, and lets out a triumphant squeak: âI dance now, Dada! Haeun strong!â She tucks her head against his shoulder, curls tickling his collarbone, and adds in a tiny whisper, âWinter nice. Haeun show you spin, pwease?â His heart blooms, her bravery, her trust, the promise of every pirouette yet to come.
Shotaro steps forward, tall as a sentinel yet gentle as dawn, and slips his hand to Haeunâs elbow. The private wingâs silence hushes to a single heartbeat as he murmurs, âPoint your toes like a baby dove stretching its wings, princess.â She inhales, the rib-cage flutter beneath her sunflower dress trembling against the gold ribbon tied at her waist, andâslowly, deliberatelyâextends her leg in a wavering tendu. The polished floor reflects her effort: a doll-sized dancer poised between fragility and flight. âBoop-boop,â she whispers to herself, as if encouraging her own heartbeat. Shotaroâs eyes shine with pride. âBeautiful, our girlâs a natural,â he breathes, as though that single word might carry her all the way to the stars.
Her cheeks ignite, and she throws her arms around his neck. âAgain, Taro! Again!â she begs, giggles slipping through her teeth like a silverfish. He lifts her, spins once, and sets her down beside Ryujin, who echoes a ballerinaâs curtsey. Jaemin watches from a pace away, arms folded as if to keep his lungs from spilling out. The sight of her, a living metronome of hope, pins something inside him painfully sweet; his heart squeezes the way it did the first time he felt her post-op pulse stutter and recover beneath his thumb.
Encouraged, she squares those cherub shoulders and lowers into a pliĂ©, the motion as solemn and deliberate as a swanâs bow. Ryujinâs supportive arm curves around her back, whispering, âFive more, darling, like the prima ballerinas you love.â Haeunâs fists tightenâone, two, threeâeach bend deeper than the last, each rise more determined, until on that final fifth pliĂ© she inhales sharply and tosses her curls back, triumphant as a fledgling bursting free of its shell. Ryujin gasps and sweeps her into a cradle of applause, and Haeunâs voice rings out above it all: âAgain, again!â as if conducting an orchestra of sunbeams.
Donghyuck drifts closer, blazer gleaming under the panel lights, and drops into a theatrical bow. âEven the tiniest prima needs her intermission before an encore.âÂ
Haeun claps, nose scrunching. âEn-cow! En-cow!â she crows, mispronunciation bright as confetti. Shotaroâs brows liftâshall we?âand a conspiratorial hush ripples through the adults. He lowers himself to her height, traces an invisible ribbon in the air. âTime for your grand jetĂ©, princess. Ready to chase sunlight?â She nods so hard her bow slips. Ryujin straightens it, kisses the crown of her head.Â
Haeun inhales as though the whole world smells of spun sugar, lashes trembling in anticipation, and for a suspended instant the room reshapes itself into a pastel proscenium built solely for her. She feels music that isnât playing, wind-chime notes she keeps in her pocket and lets it vibrate along the ribbon of her spine until her shoulders float. The sunlight pouring through the high windows tilts gold across the floorboards, turning every scuff mark into a glittering stepping-stone; she imagines each one is a lily pad and that sheâs a swanling ballerina skimming their glossy backs. Tiny hands cup the air the way doves cup thermals, elbows rounded in perfect first position exactly as Shotaro showed her, and she whispers a private countââone-two, one-twoââthe syllables feather-soft against the pink curve of her tongue. When she bursts into motion the world blurs at the edges: curls bounce like sunlit springs, her sunflower dress balloons behind her in a bright-winged sigh, and the pale bandage beneath her collarbone lifts and settles with each delighted gasp, a quiet reminder of the heart that beats overtime to keep up with her dreams.
The leap itself lasts no longer than a heartbeat, yet inside that sliver of time sheâs certain she could sail clear through the ceiling and clip a piece of heaven for her pocket. Colors smear into one long brushstroke, gold, hazel, the lapis of Shotaroâs shirt, the orchid blush of Ryujinâs smile and the air wraps her in warmth, as if the hospital has exhaled just to hold her aloft. Then gravity folds its gentle hands around her waist, and she tumbles into Ryujinâs waiting embrace with a breathless âwhooo.â The landing does nothing to dim the glow; she tips her head back, cheeks blazing, eyes wide and lucid as stars freshly rinsed by rain. âAgain?â she pleads, voice tiny yet bursting with champagne bubbles of certainty that the universe will oblige. Laughter fountains around her, Donghyuckâs velvet chuckle, Karinaâs tinkling applause, Jenoâs low whistle but itâs Jaeminâs soundless intake of breath that anchors the moment.
He steps forward, knees bending so his gaze aligns with hers, and for a heartbeat father and daughter are orbiting a private sun. In his eyes she glimpses the reflection of a tiny white dove mid-flight; in hers he sees the ghost-shadow of a black swan lurking far beyond the lamplight, waiting for an unwritten future. He reaches to sweep an errant curl from her damp forehead, fingertips lingering as though memorizing the pulse that flutters there. âMy brave ballerina,â he murmurs, voice cracked open by awe. She leans in close enough that their noses almost touch, murmuring back, âDada hear my boom-boom too?ââan offer to share her secret rhythm. He nods, lays two fingers gently over the scar beneath her dress bodice, and for a hush-soft second feels the thunderous, uneven percussion of her heart. The sound is imperfect, fragile, and immeasurably beautiful, like a lullaby played on a cracked music box and it tightens something fierce and protective inside him until he can scarcely breathe.
Barely two years old, and already Haeun moves as though her bones remember choreography etched in starlight: pliĂ©s that ripple like pond-rings, arms sweeping up in soft port-de-bras until she resembles a fledgling dove testing sunrise. âLike dis, Taro? Wing-wing!â she whispers, tiny feet kissing the floor in quick pas de chat, so light the dust motes scarcely stir. In every tilt of her wrist you glimpse a future prima, ribbons streaming, tutu feathering around her like spun milkweed. Yet beneath the snow-white grace hovers a darker prophecy: a velvet-feathered black swan lurking at the far end of the lake, eyes coal-bright, waiting to slice the water with murderous serenity. It stalks the periphery of every spotlight, daring her fragile heart to falter mid-leap. Still, Haeunâs laughter, clear as a bell tapped in heaven, keeps the monster at bay; each time she lands, curls flying, she quells the shadow with the simple triumph of breath.
With ritual seriousness she straightens, arms forming a shaky fifth position above her head. âI dance in winter,â she declares, imagination already unfurling snow-white tutus and silver spotlights, âand I catch the moon for you.â The adults exhale a collective sigh that feels halfway between worship and surrender, as though they have witnessed a supernova condensed into toddler form. Jaemin gathers her against his chest, her wings, his harbor and turns in a slow circle so she can wave at her audience. In that orbit he silently vows to stitch each beat of her wild little heart into eternity, to stand sentinel against every dark swan that dares cast a shadow over her stage. And Haeun, cradled high in the crook of his arm, tilts her head toward the light, sure beyond doubt that she was born to leap and that love itself is the space where wings remember how to soar.

You narrow your eyes as you lean your head against Hayoungâs shoulder, attempting to steal a brief moment of rest. Itâs nearing the end of your internship now, and the workload is relentless. Sleep has become a luxury you can barely afford, moments of rest snatched between rounds and charts, your body craving the stillness youâre rarely granted. Your eyelids grow heavier, soothed by Hayoungâs steady presence, until the sudden influx of hurried footsteps, muted whispers, and a heightened security presence jolts you fully awake. Something feels undeniably off today, different from the usual hospital bustle. âWhatâs up with all of this?â you whisper groggily to Hayoung, shifting upright and rubbing your eyes.
She gasps softly, eyes sparkling with barely-contained excitement. âYou havenât heard? We have high-profile celebrities in the building.â
You furrow your brow, curiosity sharp and immediate as you glance toward the guards positioned sternly at strategic points along the corridor. âCelebrities? Here? Why would they wanna be here?âÂ
Instead of explaining further, Hayoung grabs your wrist with practiced familiarity, pulling you swiftly behind her. You pass smoothly through a maze of hallways, dodging security checkpoints with her skilled, clever charm, her identification card opening doors youâve never even noticed before. She leads you into a hidden, shadowy hallway, one youâve always found eerie whenever youâve needed to enter it. Itâs an observation corridor, reserved for psychological evaluations and child assessments, clinical in its austerity, sterile walls devoid of decoration, heavy with secrecy and careful scrutiny.
Hayoungâs finger glides beneath a wall-mounted panel, and the dim corridor blooms with pale circuitry; the one-way glass floods to life. On the other side glows a room the color of candle-wax and sunrise, floor polished to a mirror, ceiling lamps diffused by linen shades so the light falls in feathery strata. At its center, Haeun turns like a music-box figurine coaxed awake. Sheâs all small crescents and curves: satin bow listing starboard in a crown of glossy curls, cheeks rosied from exertion, a mouth half-open in breathy delight. Her stubby toes stretch inside white ballet slippers, one heel lifted so high her calf trembles, the other foot fanning out for balance; each time she pivots the hem of her sunflower dress flares, peony-bright, then settles again around her knees. Laughter beads on her lips, silvery and quick; even through the thick glass you can sense the vibration of it, a hummingbird weightless in the air. Sheâs a miniature sun with gravity of her own, and every adult in the room tilts instinctively toward her orbit.
You drink her in, throat tightening. The feeling she yanks from you is equal parts ache and wonder, a low, resonant chord struck against the ribs. Itâs the impossible wish to trade your heart for hers, beat for beat; the feral need to press your palms to her chest and promise the world will never bruise her again. You donât understand how someone so small has threaded herself through every unstiched seam inside you, but there she isâneedle, thread, and cureâbinding your fatigue, your cynicism, your sleepless nights into something that almost resembles faith. Loving her is a secret muscle you never knew you owned, suddenly flexing, suddenly sore.
You didnât realize love could feel maternal before it ever felt logical, but the proof thrums in the hollow beneath your sternum each time Haeunâs eyes search the room for you. hungry, certain, the way a fledgling hunts daylight. Even from behind the glass she keeps glancing toward the place she thinks you ought to be, chin tipping, lashes fluttering in miniature Morse code. Her curls arrest mid-pirouette, the ribbons at her ankles stilled by an intuition too old for language. Tiny brows pinch; she turns her face, slow, inquisitive, to the smoked glass, as if the pane itself were a stage curtain she might coax aside. Dark lashes flutter, and her lips sculpt an un-voiced plea you feel rather than hear. âWhehâs my wuv?â
From your side of the glass the pull is tidal. Your spine straightens, palms press flat as though the barrier were a pane of ice you could warm open with devotion alone. A whisper, soundless, yet absolute, forms in your chest. âRight here, baby. Iâm right here.â You hold the words the way a mother swan holds still water for cygnets to drink, steadying your breath so she can sense its rhythm across the gulf. On the other side she lingers, gaze sliding to every corner before returning to that single, invisible point where your silhouettes almost overlap. Her shoulders settleâbarelyâbut enough that you see it: trust resettling its wings. Then, obedient to the music, she lifts her arms again and spins, the white-dove flare of her skirt a quiet vow that she will dance until the moment youâre allowed to catch her, and you will stand guardâmoon to her tideâuntil the glass opens and orbit becomes embrace.
A soft elbow slides into your ribs. âCaught you swooning again,â Hayoung murmurs. âThatâs like the⊠hundredth time this week.âÂ
The corner of her mouth curls like sheâs flipping a playing card. âI am not,â you whisper back, though the heat climbing your neck betrays you.Â
âOh, please,â she laughs, eyes bright. âYou look at Dr. Na like he hung the moon, and at Sunshine like sheâs the only star left in the sky. Itâs adorable, terminal, dangerous, but adorable.â
You open your mouth to object, something about professional distance, about just being fond of the kid yet the words clog somewhere behind your tongue. Hayoungâs grin widens; sheâs nailed you and she knows it. âThought so,â she whispers, and gives your scrubs a patronizing pat, as if to say good luck with that, doctor.
Only then do you finally drag your gaze from the little dancer and take in the constellation orbiting her. Recognition blooms in a slow, disbelieving flare. Lee Jeno stands nearest the mirrored wall, tower-tall, shoulders as broad as the arcs that once carried every championship dream; beside him, his fiancĂ©e glows like dusk on still water, serenity braided through the fingers twined with his. A step away, Lee Donghyuckâs stadium-honed grin softens to something private and lullaby-warm, prime-time thunder muted for a childâs delight. At the far end, Shotaro moves with liquid-spine grace, every gesture the promise of a lift, while Ryujinâs poise is raw silk pulled taut, her presence a metronome that steadies the room. And there, etched in runway sheen, stands Karina, Jang Karina, draped in a silhouette so exacting it feels purpose-built for her alone; her gaze is cool, calculating, yet her fingertips hover over Haeunâs hem, smoothing an imaginary wrinkle with surprising tenderness.
And thenâinevitablyâDr. Nana Jaemin: midnight scrubs, forearms dusted with faint pink marks where glove elastic has bitten, jaw shadowed, hair askew from running thick fingers through it too many times. He bends, presses a kiss to Haeunâs cheek; she squeals, spins twice more, language abandoned for dance because motion is the truest dialect she knows. His palm hovers near her ribs, not holding, merely promising to, while his eyes track every wobble with a devotion so sharp it borders on worship. The tableau steals your breath: titans and auteurs, halos of achievement blazing around themâand in their core, a child with a mended heart who commands them all like a quiet sovereign. Somewhere inside you, wonder unfurls a fresh wing; somewhere deeper, envy curls shyly, hopeful that even constellations might have room for one more faint star. The realization punches through you: these are not simply visitors but legends, each one a tidal name in their own bright oceanâand every last one of them is here for the same small sun you just promised, through glass and gravity, never to let drift.
You gape as Lee Jeno leans down to press a soft kiss on Haeunâs temple, arms curled around her as she nestles against his broad chest. âWhy is Lee Jeno, NBA legend, kissing her? Why are they cuddling? Why is he even here?â you blurt, heart thudding in your throat.Â
Hayoungâs hand snaps over her mouth, eyes widening. âWhy wouldnât he? Jenoâs literally Dr. Naâs best friend.âÂ
You gape at her. âHow long have they known each other?â you manage.Â
She leans in, voice low and amused. âThirty years. Theyâve been inseparable since they were one, brothers in everything but blood.â
Your mouth falls open. âIâŠI never knew that.â
Hayoung laughs, a light, teasing trill. âInternship frying your brain, huh?âÂ
You bristle, crossing your arms. âHow was I supposed to know? He never lets anyone into his worldâheâd build a fortress around it if he could. I asked him about his parents once, just once, and he didnât say a single word, just stared at me down like Iâd insulted him. Since that day, Iâve never pried again.â You glance back through the glass at Dr. Naâs shadowed profileâProtector and Healerâand realize how much remains hidden behind those carefully guarded gazes.
You look again and see Haeun nestled between Lee Jeno and a breathtakingly stunning woman, an âAPEXâ legend youâve admired since medical school, cradled like the brightest star in their orbit. Your breath catches. âOh my God. are they back together?â you whisper, turning to Hayoung.Â
She nods, eyes alight. âYup. Only been a week, but theyâre already getting married. Itâs being billed as the wedding of the century and our sunshine girlâs the flower girl.â
You canât help the smile that lifts your cheeks as you picture Haeun twirling down an aisle in a pale dress, tossing petals and laughter in equal measure. âIâm so glad Jeno and that bitch Kim Nahyun arenât together anymore,â you murmur, relief threading your voice.Â
Hayoung giggles, leaning closer. âThey did more than break up,â she whispers with delicious scandal. âWord is she tried to kill Jenoâs fiance, so now sheâs been institutionalized, some fancy psychiatric clinic overseas.â You feel the roomâs warmth shift, the hospitalâs hush giving way to a thrill of whispered secrets and new beginnings.
Hayoungâs eyes glitter with mischievous delight as she leans closer, voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. Sheâs always been the resident sleuth, devouring every headline, every whisper in the internâs lounge, cataloguing names and dates like precious specimens in a private menagerie. For her, uncovering the hidden ties that bind people is as satisfying as stitching new stories into a patchwork quilt. Tonight, sheâs your guide through an exclusive gallery of Jaeminâs inner circle, each figure more beguiling than the last.
You draw in a shaky breath and edge nearer to the oneâway glass. Hayoung raises a slender finger toward the towering silhouette at the roomâs center, a man whose presence feels as inevitable as gravity itself. His broad shoulders fill the crisp lines of his navy blazer, the fabric stretched ever so slightly across a sculpted chest, each inhale subtly flexing muscle beneath starched cotton. His trousers fall in a perfect, confidence-infused drape, hinting at powerful thighs honed by hours on hardwood courts. A tumble of dark curls grazes the nape of his neck, and when he turns, the faint arc of a smirk reveals a jaw so sharply carved it could slice through the hum of conversation. Even from here you catch the swirl of his cologne, something smoky, dark wood warmed by sunlight and feel the air shift around him. In that moment, Lee Jeno is less a man in a room and more a gravitational force: utterly magnetic, a living testament to strength and elegance entwined.
âThatâs Lee Jeno, he doesnât need an introduction. Everyone knows him, the most influential NBA player of his time.â She murmurs, voice hushed as if narrating a masterpiece. âSee how he stands, shoulders squared like the corner of a backboard, every line of his tailored suit whispering discipline and power? Heâs an NBA legend, record-breaker, triple-double maestro, the kind of athlete whose name is etched into every stat sheet and every fanâs heart. But more than that, heâs been Jaeminâs north star since they were toddlers dreaming of the same impossible things. He was the first to learn of Haeunâs little heartbeat, sneaking into the NICU at dawn to cradle the tiniest secret in his enormous hands. Off the court, heâs quietly philanthropic, rumor has it he quietly funds scholarships for underprivileged kids in his hometown, though heâd never brag. The media paints him as unflappable, the perfect poster boy for athletic excellence, but those who know him well call him fiercely loyal, the kind of man who shows up whether youâve invited him or not.â
She lets that settle, then nods toward the woman at his side. âAnd that,â she continues, âis his fiancĂ©e, a vision of composure in couture. They met in college, drifted apart, then discovered that some bonds refuse to break. Their love story is whispered about in fashion circles and sports columns alike: soulful reunions, secret late-night text threads, wedding bells set to ring in just a few weeks. Itâs the sort of romance youâd write a novel aboutâtimeless, improbable, and entirely, irrepressibly theirs.â
Hayoung tells you that beyond the fairytale love story, she is every bit her own force of nature: the celebrated face of APEX, a powerhouse executive whose razor-sharp intellect and unflinching moral compass have steered global design initiatives and social impact campaigns for over a decade. In boardrooms she commands deference, in studio ateliers she inspires apprentices, and in every exhibition she curates she challenges viewers to see beauty as a catalyst for change. Each year, she and Jeno co-host the hospitalâs signature gala, an evening of crystal chandeliers and whispered promises, where proceeds underwrite life-saving surgeries for families who simply canât shoulder the cost. Hayoung recalls one gala night to you in particular. When little Haeun, clutching Bunny in one hand and a crayon-scrawled invitation in the other, was lifted onto the stage to present a check; the room hushed as the childâs earnest smile lit every heart, and tears of joy stained even the driest cheeks. It was a moment that crystallized their shared mission, to tether privilege to purpose, and to kindle hope in every young life they touch. Each December, they dispatch carefully curated gifts to every child in the wardâsmall treasures that, come Christmas morning, become lifelong keepsakes.
âRyujin and Shotaroâs story is kind of a real-life fairy tale,â Hayoung begins, voice warm. âThey met during college, he was mastering a contemporary routine, she was perfecting a lyrical piece and sparks flew over perfect pirouettes. Together they opened a tiny dance school in a repurposed loft, teaching six students and dreaming of bigger things. Now? Twelve studios later, theyâve trained hundreds of young dancers, from hopeful amateurs to budding professionals, and their outreach programs have given every child, no matter their background, a chance to feel the magic of movement. Theyâre always giggling when they talk about how their after-class water breaks turned into marathon brainstorming sessions. âWhat if we could heal with dance?â and how every new studio opening felt like adding another heartbeat to the cityâs rhythm.â
âAnd that dream brought them here,â she continues, tipping her voice conspiratorially. âRyujin and Shotaro now co-design the hospitalâs pediatric dance-therapy wing, turning sterile hallways into places where little feet learn strength and resilience. Theyâve taught Haeun to pirouette past her fears, remember that time she insisted on âjust one more spinâ even after her echo scan?âand theyâve choreographed holiday performances where sheâs always the star. Their partnership isnât just about fundraising or fancy recitals; itâs about showing every child that joy and healing can bloom side by side, and proving that sometimes the purest medicine comes in the form of music, movement, and a whole lot of love.â
âYou see that hot guy by the window? Thatâs Lee Donghyuck, heâs a sports anchor whose name you canât scroll past without wanting to know more. Heâs the guy who turned a sideline gesture into a signature catchphrase, but off-camera heâs even more impressive: he spearheaded last yearâs âHeart Run,â a charity marathon that raised millions for the pediatric ward, and personally negotiated with sponsors so every dollar went straight to families in need. Heâs brokered equipment donations, hosted fundraising luncheons in that very lounge, and somehow still remembers every childâs name whoâs ever cross-checked him for an autograph. And donât think he lets Haeun escape his radar. last month he rolled out a mini basketball hoop next to her play corner, just her size, and taught her how to drain a âbaby three-pointerâ with a flourish. She squealed so loud you could hear it through the corridor, and he bent down afterward, ruffled her curls, and whispered, âYouâre my MVP, princess.â Even now sheâs peeking at him, cheeks lighting up every time he offers a thumbs-up from across the room. With Donghyuck, itâs never just television bravado, itâs genuine joy in every high-five and every fundraiser he champions, a constant reminder that heroes come in many uniforms.â
She shifts her gaze to another figure: graceful, magnetic. âAnd finally, thatâs Jang Karina. She doesnât need any introduction, sheâs a fashion powerhouse, her silhouette feels sculpted by intention. Karina began as a runway model whose charisma captivated editors and buyers alike; today she presides over a global design empire, her eponymous label celebrated for its architectural lines and daring palettes, while her beauty brand, praised for its clean formulas and bold pigments, has soared into the multimillion-dollar stratosphere. She pioneers mentorship programs for young designers, spearheads sustainable textile initiatives in collaboration with leading research labs, and curates charity auctions that funnel life-saving funds to childrenâs hospitals around the world. Every accolade she collects, Vogue cover shoots, Council of Fashion Designers awards, front-row appearances at the Met Gala, has been earned by a woman who learned to temper brilliance with empathy, who moved beyond the runwayâs glare into the quiet confidence of a leader whose influence stretches from boardrooms to breaking bread with those she protects.â
âKarina and Dr. Na have a tenderness, a shared history written in soft confidences and midnight phone calls. They met during college before either dreamed of a spotlight, she, a striver fresh from design school; he, a busy surgical resident moonlighting to pay his rent. He didnât like her in college, but they ran into each other in New York and started fucking intensely. Their first real date was over steaming bowls of bibimbap in a corner cafĂ©, trading fears and ambitions until the staff nudged them out at closing time. Then life intervenedâback-to-back seasons for her, grueling on-call marathons for himâand they drifted apart, each chasing dreams theyâd once whispered to each other. Theyâre not really romantic but Iâm sure they still fuck, I could bet on it, thatâs how confident I am that Iâm correct. Theyâre co-architects of Haeunâs world. Sheâs the first to arrive with balloons and homemade cookies on scan days, the one whose laugh draws Haeun from any shyness. Karina helps Dr. Na with Haeun a lot.â
Begrudgingly, you learn that they were lovers once, in that brief, incandescent season before parenthood reshaped his every horizon; the memory of their closeness still simmers behind Karinaâs steady gaze. Now she arrives at the hospital not as a distant star but as a second mother to Haeun, smoothing stray curls with the gentlest touch and laughing through bedtime stories whispered in the playroomâs lamplight. When she bends to offer Haeun her lap, the little girl curls in as naturally as into her fatherâs arms, murmuring âMy Rinaâ with the surety of a heart that instinctively knows where comfort lives. In every pivot of her poised stride and every warm look she casts at Dr. Na, you sense the unspoken vow: that this chosen family, wrought from loss and love, will hold its orbit against any darkness that dares encroach.
Her tone softens, eyes drifting back through the glass as if she can already see their silhouettes in the corridor. âTheyâre legends in their own right. Jeno, with championships and record-breaking buzzer-beaters that make arenas tremble; Karina, whose gowns have rewritten the language of fashion and whose makeup line is in every beauty editorâs kit; Ryujin and Shotaro, whose dance therapy programs have coaxed laughter and movement from children whoâd forgotten how to feel joy; Donghyuck, whose voice carries stories of triumph on screens that millions tune in to each night. But none of that matters here. What binds them isnât fame or fortune, itâs this hospital. This place saved Haeun when her own mother tried to end her life before she even drew a single breath, when she was left to die alone on the rooftop. Doctors patched her broken heart; nurses soothed her frightened sobs; researchers here keep rewriting the rules of what sick children can endure. Every gala Karina co-hosts, every scholarship Jeno underwrites, every dance-floor fund Shotaro and Ryujin open, all of it funnels back into this ward. They fund free surgeries for babies born blue-liped, they underwrite outreach clinics in forgotten towns, they sponsor scholarship nurses who stay to care for children no matter the cost. They do it all because of Haeun. Because she survived the darkness, they learned what true rescue means, and found a way to pay her back in light.â
Your heart twists in your chest as you watch Karina cradle Haeun at the edge of the room, tiny arms fluttering around Karinaâs neck like fledgling wings seeking warmth. Karinaâs hair tumbles over her shoulders in waves of midnight silk, each strand catching the light of the conference wingâs golden glow. Her posture is an unspoken manifesto of poise: spine straight as a ballet barre, shoulders soft but unyielding, gaze warm enough to melt the iciest boardroom. Haeunâs laughter resonates like a chime, and Karina responds with a low, musical hum, her fingers tracing idle patterns in Haeunâs curls. You step back, scrubs suddenly heavy on your skin, as though youâve walked into a painting you were never meant to touch. The distance between you and this effortless grace stretches taut, and you wonder how youâten years her junior, still mastering knotting sutures and bedside mannerâcould ever bridge the gap. You feel like a child intruding on a world you canât touch: awkward in your youth, your internâs scrubs swallowed by the hush of designer silks and tailored blazers.Â
Your cheeks burn when you realize how small you feel here: stripped of your usual confidence, every inch of your skin prickles with self-consciousness. You recall the times you braided Haeunâs hair, the soft âthank you, my wuvâ she pressed against your palm, and you ache to belong in that gentle space again. But here, in the orbit of Karinaâs radiance, you are merely a shadow, an earnest trainee whose greatest accolade is a passing nod from Dr. Na. While Karina, in the privacy of their past, has lost herself on his cock a million times, a fiery intimacy you ache to claim as your own. You tighten your grip on the edge of your clipboard, fingernails biting into the paper, and force your gaze back to the room. Yet even as you try to anchor yourself, your eyes betray you, drifting back to Karinaâs measured smile, the easy way she curls a lock of Haeunâs hair behind her ear, the quiet assurance that you can never duplicate.
Itâs not merely Karinaâs beauty that stings, itâs her history, her accomplishments writ large in the world Jaemin inhabits. You think of the single-family flats you shared with overwhelmed roommates, long shifts of charting before dawn, the perpetual undercurrent of imposter syndrome that thrums beneath your every success. Karina, by contrast, has carved an empire from thread and vision, her name sewn onto the seats of fashion capitals from Paris to Tokyo. She is the creative force behind runway shows that have shaped decades of style; the philanthropist whose gala soirĂ©es have raised millions for pediatric research; the mentor whose apprentices now stand on stage in their own right. And here she is, bending gentle and unguarded over Haeunâan innocent whose life Karina helped to celebrate, whose future she pledged to support long before you ever learned your first surgical knot.
You flush all the way to your fingertips as you recall Hayoungâs hushed confession about Karina and Dr. Naâs secret trystsâhow Karinaâs satin lips once pressed against his throat in the moonlight, how she gasped his name as his fingers tangled in her platinum-blonde waves. Your pulse hammers when you imagine those heated nights, Karina draped over him like silk, whispering your name between breathless moans. You bite your lip, thighs trembling, picturing yourself in her placeâskin slick, lips parted, arching beneath his touch as he buries himself deep inside you. Every polished step in these hospital halls suddenly feels charged with forbidden promise: could those same strong hands guide your body, curl you into whispered ecstasy until youâre nothing but warm, quivering mush in his arms? The thought sends a delicious shiver down your spine, and you press a hand to your chest, breathing unevenly, desperate for even a flicker of that raw, unfiltered passion Karina once claimed as her birthright.
Karinaâs presence is almost mythic: hair that falls in glossy waves around a face sculpted by years of confidence, eyes that have both softened at a childâs smile and hardened at the cruelties of fashion backstage. She embodies refinement and resolveâeach step a whisper of silk, each laugh a note of genuine warmth. Haeun clings to her as though born knowing Karinaâs arms are safe harbors: tiny fingers threading through Karinaâs familiarity, curls brushing Karinaâs velvet collar. You watch that bond and acheâyouâre not certain you could learn the art of such effortless love, not sure you could anchor Haeunâs heart as deeply, as naturally, as one who has guided her through every high-profile gala and quiet bedtime story alike. In that moment, you feel the full weight of your inexperience, the impossibility of matching a grace so honed, so intrinsic. The envy blossoms bitterly in your chest, and you wonder if you will ever find your own place in Haeunâs world beyond the shadow of these legends.
You turn your gaze inward, the harsh white of hospital walls receding as memory and desire entwine into a single, bitter bloom. You recall the early mornings when you and Haeun would share cereal in the NICU hallway, your voice the only anchor to her frightened world. You remember the fear that distilled your every thought when her tiny chest stuttered for breath, and the primal desire to be the guardian of her heart. Yet here, in the glow of polished floors and the gentle murmur of celebrities-turned-family, you feel neither hero nor protector. only an outsider whose worth is measured in clinical competence, not in the kind of love that sees without pretense. The ache in your ribs intensifies, a reminder that motherhood, in its many forms, is not won by credentials or passion alone but by the quiet alchemy of trust, time, and intimacy. You realize that Karina has woven herself into Haeunâs life with every shared story, every whispered promise, every dance lesson sponsored and every stolen cuddle. And you, still learning the rhythms of both scalpels and lullabies, are left yearning for a place in the soft tapestry they have created. You close your eyes for a moment, drawing a shaky breath, and resolve to carve out your own kind of sanctuary, a space in Haeunâs world defined by your devotion, your sleepless nights, your relentless hope that even the most fragile hearts can find new wings.
Youâre still pressed against the cool one-way glass with Hayoung, watching Haeunâs little ballet of laughter from the hidden corridor, when your pager buzzes with unexpected urgency. Startled, you fumble for it, thumb swiping the belt clip to read Dr. Naâs terse instruction. âConsult room 2. Now.âÂ
You glance at Hayoung, whose brow arches in silent âOh.â he couldâve called you after the surprise, but he didnât. You tap open the secure chart and see exactly why he summoned you: heâs asked you to reconcile the post-op medication orders on his high-risk pediatric patient, double-checking the weight-based furosemide syrup and digoxin elixir doses you prepared this morning, just as he instructed. But he doesnât need you in person for that. Unofficially, you know this summons is far more than clinical; itâs a challenge laced with possessive intent, a test of whether you can hold your own in the center of his world, his daughterâs laughter echoing behind you, his dearest friends just beyond the glass, and the quiet ache of wanting to belong. Your heart hammers as you slip your pager back into place, you steel your breath, and follow Hayoung down the sterile corridor toward whatever heâs planned and whatever heâs waiting to see.
The pagerâs staccato buzz still trembles in your palm when you open the door and you step into light so honey-rich it stains your scrubs. Dr. Na stands near the far window, loose-leaf chart in hand, but you sense at once that the summons is more trial than task. He could have flagged a resident to discuss the borderline lactate, could have met you later in PICU; instead he has dragged you into his private orbit, into a room already brimming with the people who know every version of him.Â
You find him already stationed outside the glass-paneled door, broad shoulders backlit by a corridor sconce, scrub top hugging the play of muscle beneath. For one absurd second youâre grateful for the buffer of the hallway, no celebrity onlookers, no tiny arms rocketing toward you, just Dr. Na and the low hum of the hospitalâs night ventilators. His eyes lift as you approach, quartz-bright, assessing; the weight of that gaze steals the air from your lungs faster than any mask could. You open your mouth to explain the med-reconciliation draft youâve flagged. dopamine taper, rising creatinine, the one unreadable scribble on the infusion sheet and what spills out instead is a stammer about âclarifying dosage windowsâ and âdouble-checking formulary overrides.â He listens, expression carved from intent, then steps forward until the antiseptic-clean scent of his skin eclipses the corridor.
âGood instincts,â he says, voice pitched low enough to bruise. âRun Labs again, adjust the heparin at 0-six-hundred, and page me the second that creatinine climbs past one-point-eight.â As he speaks he lifts the chart between you, ostensibly to point at an order line, but his knuckles brush the inside of your wrist, a graze of heat that turns every neuron to white noise. You manage a nod, pulse leaping; he lingers half a heartbeat longer, gaze tracking the flutter at your throat as though timing it against the beeps beyond the glass. Then a slow blink, a silent dismissal, yet when he pivots toward the door you catch the drag of his eyes down the slope of your shoulder, the smallest hitch in his breath, proof that the tension is not yours alone. You inhale the space he leaves behind, cheeks hot, chart trembling, and realize youâve never been more eagerâor more terrifiedâto meet a set of lab values in your life.
Just as you pivot to leave, a streak of yellowâbright as the first brush of dawn on snowâslips through the barely open door. Itâs the color of lemon drops and daffodils and every lucky sunbeam youâve ever bottled, trying to squeeze itself into the hallway. Then the streak becomes shape: one dimpled cheek pressed against the jamb, Bunnyâs satin ear twitching, and huge brown eyes, wide as new moons, scanning until they find you. They light up like fireflies. âMy wuv?â Haeun murmurs, her voice a tremor of delight. In a heartbeat the hinge gives a reluctant sigh, the gap yawns, and yellow explodes: her ruffled skirt swirling, ribboned curls bouncing, tiny feet pattering in rapid-fire gallops. She gigglesâa tinkling chimeâarms flung wide, cheeks flushed petal-pink, eyelashes trembling with joy. With a squeal of pure sunshine she hurtles toward you, Bunny tumbling behind like a faithful squire, and flings herself into your legs. Her face peeks up at you through a halo of curls, eyes brimming with adoration so fierce it feels like gravity. âI miss you! I wanâ you!â she gasps, giggling as she squeezes you tight, forehead nuzzling your scrubs. In that moment, every crack in your heart fills with light.
Her dimpled brow furrows in adorable impatience. âUp, up, up!â she demands, stretching her arms skyward until you scoop her into a cradle against your shoulder. Bunny flutters behind her like a cheerful banner. She buries her face in your neck, laughter bubbling through ragged breaths. âCome on, my wuv, letâs go! Where you go today? I miss you so much!â One pudgy hand clamps your ID badge; the other paw-pops at your scrubs, trying to turn you toward the door and away from the seven stunned faces behind her. She giggles, a sweet bell-chime of joy, and squirms for your hand even as she nestles closer, torn between being held and dragging you off on adventure. âI wanâ go! Letâs go now!â she insists, her whole being radiating a love so fierce it hushes the roomâand all she sees is you.
âBaby, I need to go,â you murmur, voice gentle but firm as you cradle her in one arm. âIâve got some big boo-boo work to finishâcharts to update, meds to double-check.â Jaeminâs reprimand still echoes behind you.
Haeunâs cheeks scrunch in that stubborn way you know so well. She shakes her head with such earnest determination her bow nearly flies off. âNo later! Now! I show you auntie ân uncos! Dey all gonna wuv you like I do!â she insists, tugging at your scrub top with both tiny fists. You try to slip free, but she wonât budgeâher grip is iron even in those chubby, two-year-old hands.
Dr. Naâs voice cuts through the hubbub like a scalpel. He strides to the doorframe, silhouette rigid in the warm glow of the lounge lights. âHaeun-ah,â he intones, tone sharper than any drill, âmind your manners and stay with me.â His words carry the weight of every parentâs warningâstern, unyielding, yet laced with an undercurrent of fierce protectiveness. At his chiding, Haeunâs shoulders slump for a heartbeat before her stubborn spark reignites.
She stamps her foot against your side, arms crossed defiantly. âNo! I show my wuv the aunties and uncos! Dey gonna wuv her too!â
He softens, though his tone stays firm. âI know you love her, baby, but you canât just drag people away. You promised to stay with Daddy until we sorted things out.â
She shakes her head, tears brimming in those wide brown eyes. âBut Dada, I need her now! I wait all dayâno later!â
He sighs, fingers brushing a stray curl behind her ear. âHaeun, Iâll bring her here as soon as Iâm done. I swear it. But right nowââ
She interrupts with a single stubborn shake. âNo! Now! My wuv!â
Dr. Na rolls his eyes, a half-smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. âI can never win against you, can I, princess? Youâve got Daddy wrapped around your finger.â
Haeunâs grin splits her face as she nods vigorously, curls bouncing. âYes! Dada! I win!â she declares, then tugs gently at his scrub top. âNow letâs go!âÂ
He nods, eyes earnest. âPromise youâll be my good girl first.â
She quirks a tiny grin, eyes sparkling with mischief. âI pwomise⊠afteh I show her all my aunties ân uncos!â
With a squeal of triumph, she wiggles down, little ballet slippers padding across the linoleum, curls bouncing as she darts ahead to fling open the door. âCome on! Come on!â she calls back, breathless with excitement, then grabs your hand and tugs you into the room. You freeze on the thresholdâHaeunâs world collapsing around you in a riot of unfamiliar facesâand watch her abandon all decorum to race toward the circle of aunties and uncles she adores. Her laughter, bright and unselfconscious, fills the space, and for a moment you realize that anyone who can make her this happy instantly becomes the most important person in the room.
Every breath catches in your throat the moment you step inside. Six renowned figures. each the cornerstone of their own orbit, pause mid-conversation, heads tilting as they take in the unexpected arrival. Karina offers a measured nod over lashes that gleam like onyx; Donghyuckâs easy smirk falters into something private and assessing; Ryujinâs graceful poise stills as if sheâs found herself out of step. Even Jenoâtowering, legendaryâinclines his head, curiosity softening his usual gravity. You feel the hush settle around you like a silk shroud, an unspoken question: what does this inexperienced intern think sheâs doing here?
And then tiny warmth blooms at your side. Haeunâs small hand finds yours, the familiar weight of her fingers curling around your palm and everything else blurs. She beams up at you, cheeks glowing with delight, and in her bright, trusting smile you feel safe, seen, and utterly whole. You bend to brush a stray curl from her forehead, and her soft, breathy giggle steadies the tremor in your chest. In that instant, impostor fears melt away: no matter how grand the companyâor how uncertain you feelâshe will never let go of your hand. And with her guidance, you find the courage to meet their eyes at last.
Only then does Haeun whirl on bare toes, her sunflower-yellow dress fanning out like a blossom in bloom, and seize your hand. With a triumphant trill she flings her free arm toward the glittering room and proclaims, âLook, look! I bring my wuv!â Her voice rings clearer than any brass fanfare, as though every face in that space has been summoned for this one exalted moment.
You settle onto the low leather corner beside her patchwork blanket. its fifty-six stitched symbols are a living map of every heart that holds her. Before you can even stretch out beside her, she vaults into your lap, knees tucked under her, arms winding tight around your neck so thereâs no room left for anything but her. Her curls brush your cheek as she snuggles in, shyly peeking up at you with those doe-bright eyes and letting out a soft giggle that feels like sunshine. A dozen tiny kisses pepper your jaw, and her voice melts into a loving tumble: âMy aunÂties and uncosâI come back! Haeunie come back! This is my wuv, dis my wuv! You my favârit person!â Every syllable spills with confidence and joy, and in that instant itâs clear: no chair, no circle of legends, could ever compete with the radiant gravity of her devotion.
Haeun straightens in your lap, takes a deep, determined breath, and begins as though sheâs announcing the sunâs rising for the very first time. Her tiny hand presses to your name badge, and her voice rings out, bright, proud, utterly unwavering. âDis is my WUV! Sheâs a doctor, my special doctor who fixes big boo-boos and makes sure heart go boom-boom happy. She writes charts every morning. She checks my scar and calls me âbrave girl.â When Iâm scared, she hums my favorite song from the Barbie movie, and she always, always promises to play bunnies and braid my hair afterward. Sheâs the one who tucks me in and tells me âyouâre safe, my whole heart.â Sheâs more important to me than sippy juice or even Bunny! Sheâs my bestest friend, my helper, my sunshine fix-it lady, my WUV!â
With that solemn introduction, she lets go of you long enough to clap twiceâonce for emphasis, once to summon her uncle. âUncle No-No!â she chirrups, tumbling free from your lap to race into Lee Jenoâs arms. âDis is my Wuv! She came to see you! Uncle No-No, she plays tea party with me and never says no when I ask for extra sugar cubes. She helps me count daisies and always cheers when I spin round and round.â She squeezes Jeno with all her might, then bounces back to you to steal a quick hug before hauling off again to the next face.
âAuntie Karina!â she calls, toddling forward in chubby strides. âYou do pretty lady that makes dresses that sparkle like magic. Sheâs a star, Auntie Karina, but my Wuv is my star too, she makes me feel pwetty, even when Iâm just in jammies. My Wuv helps me draw bunnies that wear crowns, and she tells me my doodles are the best in the whole world!â Haeun reaches up to smooth a lock of Karinaâs hair, then offers a solemn, toddler-sized bow before spinning on her heel.
âUncle Shot-shot and Auntie Rye-Rye!â she trills, wobbling toward the dance duo. âDis is my doctor who saves the day, she watches us twirl and leap! Uncle Shot-shot shows me how to point my toes, and Auntie Ryujin catches me every time I fall. But my WuvâŠshe holds me after I jump and whispers, âThat was perfect, my angel.ââ She pirouettes once, nearly toppling, then laughs and races back into your arms.
âUncle Dongi!!â she announces last, planting her feet and pointing. âHe talks on the TV and tells stories about games and big balls, but my Wuv tells stories about bunnies and princesses. And when I get juice in my nose,ââshe giggles as she pretends to sneezeââshe wipes it away and calls me her brave girl.â She leans in to pat Donghyuckâs cheek, then beams at you as if to say, âSee? Sheâs the best helper of all!â
At last she nestles fully into your lap, a contented sigh fluttering from her lips like a soft breeze through petals. Her cheeks glow petal-pink, curls brushing your collar as she turns in a slow, twirling circle so every auntie and uncle can marvel at her treasure. âDis is my WUV,â she coos, voice trembling with delight. âShe loves me moreân anyoneâfixes my boo-boos, reads me stories, makes my heart go sing-sing.â A bubbly giggle bubbles up, and she leans in to press her tiny palms to your cheeks, her thumbs brushing away a stray tear as if soothing your heart. âI love her bestest, yes I do!â she declares, eyes shining so bright they could light the room. In that perfect, breath-held moment, every grown-up knows, no trophy, no gala, no legacy could ever outshine the fierce devotion flowering in the heart of this two-year-old ballerina.
She presses a sloppy kiss to the corner of your mouth, then pulls back to plant tiny, gleeful pecks on your cheek. once, twice, three times, each one punctuated by a soft âHee-hee!â Her breath mingles with yours as she leans in, voice a secret ripple: âDada so silly, look at my wuv!â You canât help but laugh, the sound low and warm, and she giggles again, her curls brushing your collar.Â
In the hush that follows, you tuck an errant strand behind her ear and whisper back, only loud enough for her to hear, âI love you, bubba,â and she beams, pressing her forehead to yours as if sealing your promise. From across the circle of family, Dr. Naâs eyes linger on the two of youâequal parts relief and longingâbefore he finally turns away, letting your hushed laughter and tender whispers cloak you both in the only language that truly matters. Thereâs a sudden, tightening ache blossoming in his chestâthis is the only time in days sheâs ever chatted so freely, and itâs not for him but for you. All morning sheâd been silent at his side, too shy or too sad to even sip her juice, but beside you she blossoms into a whirlwind of laughter and proud announcements. He remembers how she clung to his scrub collar when her scan reminded her of Sang-jun, but now, her tiny fists still clutching your badge, sheâs incandescent with joy. For a moment his veneer cracks, and he wonders if heâs losing her to your gentle gravity, if the bond they share is being stretched by the warmth she finds only in your presence. But even as the uncertainty presses cold against his heart, he forces a soft smile, and in that quiet sacrifice, silently thanks you for giving her a reason to speak again.
Hours slip by like sunbeams drifting across the pale wood floors of the private wing, and you scarcely notice the passing time. One moment youâre sipping lukewarm tea handed to you by Ryujin, the next your cheeks ache from laughter at Shotaroâs playful critique of your improvised ballet twirl. Despite your shyness, every story you tumble outâabout rare post-op complications, about how your internship is going, about Haeunâs latest vocabulary surpriseâmeets with gentle laughter and encouraging nods rather than terse corrections. These are legends of sport, fashion, and dance, yet here in this softly lit room their fame dissolves into genuine warmth. You feel, for the first time, not the outsider in scrubs, not just ten years his junior but simply a friend, drawn into a circle that rounds its edges into laughter and shared memories.
Eventually, Lee Jenoâs phone buzzes against his hip, a summons he cannot ignore. He rises quietly, apologizing in a voice too soft for the others to hear. His fiancĂ©e rises to press a gentle goodbye kiss to his lips. You watch, heart pin-prick sharp, as he scoops Haeun into trembling arms and presses a kiss to her curls. Then, with a quick glance your way, he offers you a polite smile, one that says thank you, we see youâand slips away into the corridor. In his absence, the room seems both emptier and unbearably full of his spirit: protective, loyal, a silent promise that family can be chosen as well as given.
Karina leans forward then, smoothing a stray lock of your hair with surprising ease. Her fingers, cool as marble, brush along your arm as she asks about your own journeyâhow you came to this hospital, how you bear the weight of so many fragile hearts. You find yourself telling her things youâve never dared voice aloud: your late-night doubts, the fierce pride of holding Haeun close after a scan. She listens with striking focus, her dark eyes never winking with the slightest trace of impatience. When you pause, uncertain, she simply smiles and says, âYour care matters as much as any design on a runway,â and you realize that in this room, expertise wears many forms and yours is as vital as any.
Across the way, Ryujin and Shotaro exchange a glance before turning to you both. Ryujinâs laugh is a ribbon of warmth, and Shotaroâs hands, still marked with chalk from a morning class, offer you an imaginary pliĂ© alongside Haeunâs reluctant mimicry. They speak of last seasonâs recitals and the children who found new strength through dance therapy, weaving stories of sweaty studios and triumphant first steps. You comment on Haeunâs grace, how those fragile chords of muscle and hope hold her aloft and Ryujinâs eyes shine. âSheâs our brave dove,â she says softly, âlearning to outfly the darkest swan.â Somehow, that metaphor feels hopeful, and you tuck it away against the memory of Haeunâs fierce little leaps.
Lee Donghyuck sidles up with two juice boxesâone for you, one for Haeunâhis grin as familiar as a favorite song. He tells you about the upcoming charity match heâs hosting, how the proceeds will go to underfunded pediatric wards. You marvel at the way he balances numbers and news scripts with genuine compassion: his shoulders relax as he speaks of butterfly stickers he once saw decorating a young patientâs chart, and his voice softens at âbutterflyâ as if the word itself were a healing incantation. You catch his eye when he mentions Haeunâs name, and he lifts his box in salute: âFor our littlest warrior,â he says, and you taste the sweetness of belonging in that toast.
In your hand is a small, pink-striped juice box, Haeunâs favorite. You lift yours to your lips, and she mirrors you, tiny straw poised. He watches as you both sip: her with careful earnestness, you with a gentle hesitancy that speaks of inexperience. Your movements are unhurried, almost tentative, no greedy gulps, only soft draws that leave strawberry-tinted droplets at the corner of your mouth. Dr. Naâs gaze flickers from Haeunâs earnest sip to your slower, almost delicate rhythm, and he swallows as if tasting something far more intoxicating than juice. A stray drop rolls down your chin; you brush it away with your thumb, and Dr. Naâs eyes widen, an unconscious gulp betraying the rush of protectiveness and something deeper at the sight of your gentle care.Â
Through Dr. Naâs eyes, the moment becomes achingly intimate, a private study in soft vulnerability. He sees the way your lips part around the straw, the gentle tremor of your lower lip as you draw the juice, so careful and unpracticed that it feels like watching a dancer take their first pliĂ©. The curve of your tongue against the plastic, the shy tilt of your head, even the way your cheeks hollow just before the liquid poolsâeach detail presses against him like breath on glass. He catches the faint glisten on your lips, the hesitance in your swallow, and feels an almost physical pull in his chest: a fierce, protective desire to guide you, to steady those uncertain movements with his own hands. In that suspended heartbeat, he knows you are both utterly new and utterly captivatingâyour inexperience refracting the roomâs warmth into something dangerously tender.
Then, his shoulders ease as he turns back to Haeun, soothed by the scene of his daughter and you, her âwuv,â sharing such simple sweetness. Haeun pulls her straw back, eyes blinking up at you with shy doe-like wonder. âMy wuv?â she whispers, voice hushed. âI try yours, pwease?â Yours and hers have the same flavor, but you canât refuse. You tilt your box toward hers, sharing the very same straw, and she beams before taking a delighted sip. The juice flows warm and familiar between you. One of her tiny hands comes to cup your cheek while the other clutches the box, and you nestle her palm against your lips, cooing softly: âThere you go, sweetheart.â She giggles, lips sticky, and nuzzles into your shoulder as Dr. Na watches from across the room, his chest tight with a silent gratitude that this moment of innocent closeness will soothe you both, if only for a heartbeat.
The afternoon light wanes into honeyed dusk before you realize the sun has set. Conversation drifts from hospital gala plans to the simple pleasure of watching Haeun sketch crayon sunbursts on a napkin. You lean forward, pressing your brow to her crown, murmuring the same reassuring words youâve whispered since her first breath: âYouâre safe, baby.â In response, she clambers onto your lap, her arms tightening like soft vines, and you cradle her through another round of story snatches from Karinaâs own childhood. Each rhyme and giggle threads you more deeply into this tapestry of chosen family, until you feel anchored in laughter and shared confidence.
The hours have thinned into late-afternoon honey when Haeun finally wriggles upright in your lap, bunny propped like a plush chaperone between her knees. She tips her chin back, lashes fluttering. âBwaid pweaseee?â The request is hardly louder than her breath, yet every conversation in the lounge melts to a hush. You ease a comb through her curls, warm silk under your fingers and begin teasing three glossy strands apart. Each pass of your hands is a tempo all its own: smooth, divide, weave, kiss the crown, repeat. Haeun all but purrs, a soft hum vibrating against your thigh whileÂ
Shotaro murmurs from the sofa, âLook at her shoulders drop, pure muscle memory of safety.â Ryujin nods, cheeks dimpling; even Donghyuckâs running commentary stills, the sportscaster silenced by a childâs quiet miracle.
Halfway through the braid, Karina drifts closer, the subtle rustle of couture whispering authority. She tucks a stray curl behind Haeunâs ear and offers, lightly, âI can finish that for you if your Auntieâs hands are tired, sweetheart.âÂ
Haeun tilts her face toward Karinaâs immaculate profile, gaze thoughtful, then whirls back and burrows into your sternum with surprising force. âNo tank you, Auntie Rina,â she trills, wrapping both arms around your forearm as though it were a lifeline. âShe not my auntie, Aunfie Rina, sheâs my Wuv. My do it the bestest.â Karinaâs smile flickers, just for a breath, with a flash of annoyance before she smooths it back into place. Dr. Na huffs out a half-laugh, his jaw ticks once, then settles into that familiar mask of unreadable calm.
Donghyuck snaps the tension like a brittle thread. âOfficial verdict,â he declares, lifting an imaginary microphone. âIntern defeats Hollywood glam. Sunshine Girl crowns her new stylist of the century.â Laughter rebounds off pastel murals, Ryujin leans into Shotaroâs shoulder, grinning, while Jenoâs fiancĂ©e applauds with delicate fingertips, those same fingertips never leaving her stomach. You manage a shy smile, cheeks warming, until Haeun, still curled in your lap, shifts herself more snugly against you, her little legs wrapping securely around your waist and thighs so no one else can claim her. She reaches for not one but two brand-new juice boxes on the side table, pink-striped strawberry for you, sunshine-yellow mango for herself and holds them both like precious trophies.
She claps her hands when you produce two fresh juice boxesâone strawberry, one mangoâeach pastel-striped like a little promise of sweetness. With eyes bright as dawn, she presses her pinky into yours before lifting the straw to her lips. You realize she locks her pinky because, for her, itâs the smallest ring of trust. âPwomise?â she whispered once, and ever since, a pinky promise means the world. Now she sips the strawberry first, cheeks dimpled as she chews on the flavor, âSo yummy! Like bewwy kisses,â she declares, then offers you a sip. When you hand her the mango, she tilts her head, inhales the golden scent and sighs, âMango like sunshine⊠warm in my belly!â She swivels in your lap to meet your gaze, her doe eyes searching yours alone and asks with a wobble of her bow, âTwy again?â Before you can answer, sheâs already twisting your straw between her fingers, smiling so wide it makes her curls bob. âI wuv you,â she announces, voice soft but sure, âyou my bestest, my sunshine.â And in that moment, as you share two little cartons of juice and one big, beating heart, you know thereâs no place sheâd rather be. Dr. Na exhalesâsoundless, raggedâand finally looks away only when her lashes droop, the sugar rush giving way to dusk-soft drowsiness. You catch his eye, and for a fleeting moment both of you stand witness to the fierce gravity of a little girlâs love and the quiet power it wields.
Haeunâs eyelids flutter in your arms like tired moth wings, lashes sweeping half-moons across flushed cheeks, but she refuses to surrender to sleep. Each time her head lolls, she forces it upright, blinking hard, small fingers kneading the neckline of your scrub top as though touch alone can anchor her in wakefulness. You reach for the knitted blanket folded over the arm of the sofa, a square of butter-soft merino that has accompanied every clinic visit, every late-night vigil and notice, with a sudden twist of surprise, that the newest edge remains bare white. Five dear friends sit only a few feet away, but none of their stories have yet found a thread on this fabric.
Clearing your throat, you turn so the blanket spills across your lap, the tiny girl still nestled against your chest. âI know itâs late,â you say, voice pitched to the hush of lamplight, âbut Iâd love to ask a favor.â Eyes lift from coffee cups and half-finished conversations. âHaeunâs had this blanket since her days in the NICU. I knit it when her skin was too fragile for hospital cotton. It took me so many restless nights, bamboo needles, the best quality hypoallergenic wool. Every person whoâs helped her grow has added a symbol. Dr. Huang stitched a stethoscope in red silk when she came off the ventilator; Nurse Yuha sewed a tiny moon for the night she finally slept four hours straight. Itâs becoming a map of everyone who loves her, of people who cherish and protect her. And tonight feels⊠important.â
You trace a fingertip along the rows of tiny emblems. mercury-bright thread here, beach-sand yellow there, letting the history breathe between stitches. âShe doesnât just wrap up to keep warm,â you add softly, âshe wraps up to remember sheâs not alone. A new row is waiting, and I thought maybeâif it isnât too forwardâyou might each lend a piece of yourselves.â Your confession hangs in the hush, fragile and earnest. Across the circle, five smiles shift from polite to luminous approval, and you feel the moment settle like a quilt over all of you.
Jenoâs finance is the first to stand up. She chooses pearl-gray thread that glimmers under the lamp. âHaeun says Iâm her âsparkleâ auntie,â she murmurs with a grin, and stitches a tiny five-petaled jasmine, a symbol of respect and love, then anchors it with two interlocking rings in the faintest blush-gold. âOne for promise, one for peace,â she tells you, knotting the tail. âAnd every spring Iâll add a new petal as she grows.â
Lee Donghyuck leans an elbow on the table, drawing laughter as he pretends to deliver a live sports update on his progress. But the playfulness fades into reverence when he threads microphone-black silk through the needle. He shapes a small broadcasting mic hidden among radio waves that ripple outward like concentric hearts. âFor her voice,â he says, throat tight. âMay it always carry.â
Shotaro takes his turn next, dancerâs posture folding into a tidy cross-legged seat. He selects lilac floss and embroiders two tiny ballet slippers whose ribbons entwine midair, forming an infinity symbol. Ryujin kneels beside him, chooses sea-glass green, and adds a single eighth-note that curves around the slippers like wind under wings. They finish by knotting their threads together, the colors blending: movement and music fused for the girl who canât dance as often as she dreams but never stops hearing the song.
Karinaâs manicured fingers hover above the palette of threads before she chooses sunflower-yellow, Haeunâs signature hue. With decisive strokes she stitches a stylized sun rising behind a dress form. âFor new mornings,â she murmurs, voice velvet-low, âand for every gown sheâll twirl in.â When she knots her thread, a fleeting shadow crosses her features, tenderness edged by something bittersweet.
At first you donât even realise heâs moved, one moment Dr. Na is a silent pillar at the periphery, the next heâs standing over the hoop, the lamplight catching the faint tremor in his fingers. Itâs only the second time he has ever added to the blanket; the first was a tiny sun the night you showed him this blanket. You hold your breath, half-afraid to break whatever fragile impulse drew him forward. He chooses the plainest floss in the basket, unbleached cotton, hospital-sheet white and works in absolute hush. With the same sure economy that guides a scalpel, he stitches a single heartbeat: rise, fall, pulse. When he reaches the apex of the rhythm, he pauses, thread gleaming like moonlight, and loops back to form an almost invisible letter nested inside the peak. A confession hidden in plain sight. No explanation follows, but something settles over the roomâsoft, electric, inarguable. The second thread from Haeunâs father lies beside the first, heartbeat to star, and now a new initial anchors the pattern: her life, his love, your name, all sharing the same measured pulse.
When the final knot is tied, you lift the blanket and tuck it around Haeun. She stirs, pinky still linked with yours, eyelids heavy but shimmering with trust. âSo comfy,â she whispers, nuzzling the new stitches. Around you, conversation slowly resumesâsofter, richerâwhile the blanket settles over her tiny body like a living constellation. You realize the hush from earlier has transformed: no longer velvet at the throat, but flannel on the skin, warm and utterly welcoming. She breathes, voice shrinking to a sugar-soft whisper meant for you alone. âBlankie feel like cloud.â
Haeunâs lashes flutter like the softest lullaby as she summons one last flicker of wakefulness. With trembling purpose, she leans forward and brushes her lips against yours. a whisper of a kiss, laden with every unspoken promise sheâs ever known. She pulls back, her eyes shining with silent wonder, as though daring you to meet the question there. Your heart lurches in your chest, this fragile, fearless offering of trust. You cradle her cheek, cooing gentle nonsense. âMy little moonbeam,â and trace a fingertip along the soft curve of her jaw. Her tiny hand grips your scrub pocket like a compass, anchoring her to the only world she needs. Around you, the corridorâs murmurs fade into a featherlight hush, leaving just her and you suspended in a private constellation of shared breath and beating hearts.
Her lashes flutter like moth wings as a hesitant courage fills her small frame, sheâs never dared press her lips there before, the only exception being her Daddy, and the memory of that sacred, first kiss tightens her chest. Yet when you part your lips in a gentle, encouraging smile and murmur soft approval. âThatâs my brave girl,â something in her unfurls. She tilts forward once more, brushing a second, bolder kiss to your mouth, then melts into your arms, cheeks blooming pink. Your coos tumble into the hush around, you swallow a surprised flutter and breathe out a gentle coo. âOh, my soft thing,â you murmur, brushing your nose against the tip of hers. âThat was a new kiss. Did it make the clouds softer?â
âMmm-hmm,â she hums, the sound puffing like a kittenâs purr. âCloud sooo soft. Wuvâs lips taste like stwa-bewwy juice.â She giggles at her own declaration, curls tickling your jaw.
You huff a quiet laugh, smoothing the blanket over her shoulders. âStrawberry-chin power, huh? Should we save another kiss for later?â
She considers it, a tiny teeth catching her lower lip. âLater⊠anâ later,â she decides, pinky tightening around yours to seal the pact. âBut now cuddles.â
âEndless cuddles,â you promise, kissing the apple of her cheek. âDream sweet, cuddle bug.â
Her lashes flutter like moth wings, but in the gathering dusk of the lounge she still finds her way. Without thought, her small hand drifts to the leaf you etched into the soft cotton, a delicate maple leaf, veins stitched with your own trembling thread and she pat-pat-pats it as though it were the heart of the world. Beside it glows the golden sun her Daddy wove, its rays forever warming her fingertip even when she isnât seeking them. It is her North Star, a compass that tethers her to safety, and she follows its pull instinctively. Like a mama oak sheltering her sapling, you wrap her in the blanketâs embrace, your arms the forest that hushes every worry. âDream sweet, my wuv,â she echoes, voice already sliding into slumber. In the hush that follows, only your shared breaths and the soft rustle of the blanket remain, two quiet notes in a room that has faded to velvet around you both.
Only Jeno is missing from the circle of stitches, every auntie and uncle has left their promise behind, every color of hope woven into Haeunâs blanket, save for his. You press a fingertip to the empty square where his thread should lie and murmur that youâll catch him next time. What you donât know is that dawn will break on a day when the black swanâs shadow falls across this bright world, when the parasiteâs poison finally claims its victory and the last flutter of Haeunâs laughter will echo into silence. A night-winged shadow circles, eclipsing the pastel dawn youâve counted on; one terrible morning it will swoop, black feathers blotting out every sunrise hue and the quiet toxin sown in Haeunâs fragile heart will claim its due. In that breath, her laughterâbright as glass bellsâwill shatter mid-ring and drift away like ash on a wind no one can catch. The day her heartbeatâthe doveâs gentle rhythm beneath your palmâstills in your arms will be the day you and Dr. Na follow it into the long dark. When Jeno will at last return to weave his love into the fabric, heart heavier than any ball he ever shot, his hands tremble as he lifts a length of burnt-orange floss. He draws the curve of a basketball, but each stitch is a memorial more than a celebration. His shoulders shake with choked sobs, tears pooling on the wool like dew before a storm. One by one, the others press their own grief into the fabricâsalty fingerprints that blot the brilliant colors of expectation. In that woven hush, every blessing and every heartbreak rests together, a testament to loveâs frail, defiant endurance.
Jenoâs fiancĂ©e is the first to rise, smoothing her skirt as she approaches your corner of the room. Haeun lies nestled in your arms, lashes fluttering against her rose-petal cheeks. Gently, the fiancĂ©e leans forward and brushes a silk-soft kiss across Haeunâs forehead. The little one doesnât stir; her breathing is the only melody in the hush. You press a grateful smile to the fiancĂ©eâs hand as she whispers, âGoodnight, my bright star,â before stepping back and slipping silently through the doorway. Lee Donghyuck follows, pausing long enough to crouch before you. He offers you a soft nod, voice a low murmur: âYouâve done wonders today.â He reaches out to tuck Haeunâs curls behind her ear, then places a single fingertip on her wrist to confirm the steady beat of her heart. âSleep well, princess,â he breathes, and you watch him melt away into the corridorâs warm glow.
Shotaro steps forward first, his dancerâs grace still evident even in repose. He kneels beside you, brushes a gentle kiss to Haeunâs forehead, and murmurs, âYouâre gonna be strong enough for the next recital, Princess, I know it. Youâre gonna show everyone how you light up the stage.â His warm breath ruffles her curls before he straightens, leaving behind the echo of soft promise. Ryujin follows close behind, her presence a steadying rhythm. She cups Haeunâs cheek in one hand, presses a light kiss to her temple, and whispers, âOur little ballerina will soar higher than ever.â With one last tender glance, she smooths the blanket, offers you a reassuring nod, and slips away into the gentle glow of the corridor.
One by one the guests drift awayâJenoâs fiancĂ©e, Donghyuck, Shotaro, Ryujinâeach pausing to offer a silent benediction before the door closes behind them. You remain kneeling by the loveseat, blanket wrapped tight, Haeunâs small warmth against your chest. Through the glass you catch Dr. Na among the departing friends, his broad shoulders slumping in a rare moment of quiet fatigue.
The lounge has hushed to after-party stillness: the others have slipped into the hallway with Dr. Na, their laughter receding down polished tile. Only soft lamplight, the tick-tick of a distant clock, and the weight of Haeun, warm, sleeping, blanket-cocooned, remain. You cradle her on the love-seat, feeling her breaths flutter against your collarbone like the wings of a nesting dove. Karina hasn't left yet. Instead, she glides closer, heels muted on the rug, and lowers herself onto the ottoman opposite you, close enough for her perfume to mingle with baby shampoo. The rise and fall of Haeunâs chest reflects in Karinaâs eyes, and something unreadable flickers there: a fleeting tremor of envy or longing before she smooths it into poise.
She begins in a tone meant for midnight confidences. âHe and I disliked each other in college, we werenât alike, too stubborn, too proud,â she says, gaze drifting toward the doorway Jaemin just exited. âBut New York changes people. Heâd taken a fellowship; I was staging my first real show. One September thunderstorm stranded us beneath a scaffolding in SoHo. We shared a cab, two perfectionists exiled by the rain.â A smile ghosts across her mouth, but it doesnât quite reach her eyes. âBy the time the cab bumped over Brooklyn Bridge, he was murmuring cardiac protocols against my throat; by Midtown our fingers were mapping one anotherâs scar lines against bare skin, he really likes the scars along my ass. Before sunrise, the sheets in his SoHo walk-up had our pulses stitched into themâand the skyline was still glowing when he coaxed the last breathless âyesâ out of me.â
She smooths an imaginary wrinkle from her skirt, fingers lingering at her collarbone, as if replaying the memory on her skin. âThen he vanished into fatherhood.â Her gaze returns to the small bundle in your arms. âI thought Iâd lost him to sleepless nights and neonatology wards. I told myself I was happy for him. But seeing her choose youâseeing thisââ Her polished façade ripples, then knits itself back together. âSheâs never clung to me that way, she loves me, Iâm her âAuntie Rinaâ but thatâs all I am.â
A beat of silence. Then her lashes lift, sly and assessing. âSo,â she drawls, âdo you have a crush on our Doctor Na?â
âWhaâno, youâve got it all wrong!â you blurt, shielding yourself with Haeunâs blanket as heat floods your cheeks. âIâI mean, of course I donât have a crush on him, that would be wildly inappropriate! Iâm his intern, ten years his junior, my hands are supposed to steady under his guidance, not flutter with some silly schoolgirl crush. Heâs my attending, my mentor⊠my boss!â You press a trembling hand to your heart, breath hitching in your throat. âHonestly, the last thing Iâd ever do is let personal feelingsâheavens, of course I wouldnât!â
You suck in a panicked breath and forge onward, words spilling like surgical tape unraveled. âBut every time he leans in to correct my suture, or the way his voice softens when he talks to frightened parents, my chest does do this ridiculous flip-flop. I respect himâno, I deeply admire him. His calm in crisis, his razor-sharp precision under pressure, the kindness he shows Haeun⊠itâs inspiring, not romantic! Iâm honored just to learn at his side, to help with his cases, to watch him work miracles. Itâs pure professional gratitude. I swear itâs nothing more than that!â You swallow hard, cheeks still aflame, and force a breathless laugh. âIâIâm sorry, Iâm rambling,â you finish, voice pitched with mortified relief. You crane your head away, eyes swimming with mortified relief, fully expecting the worldâor at least Karinaâto recoil. But the silence that follows only tightens the knot of your flushed confession, proof that honesty sometimes feels like a wound.
Karinaâs lips curl into a slow, knowing smile, and she steps a fraction closer, hand sliding to your elbow in faux concern. âOh, sweetheart,â she purrs, her voice silk over steel, âyouâre positively incandescent. Donât pretend those butterflies arenât more than gratitude fluttering in your stomach. Honestly, watching you gush over his âmiraclesââIâve seen less passion over a first kiss.â She leans in closer, her tone light and conspiratorial but unmistakably direct, as if sheâs letting you into a sacred secret. âHonestly, if youâre just grateful for his mentorship, good for you. But Iâll be real with you, Iâve been lucky enough to have him in ways you probably dream about. Even after he became Haeunâs dad, even as recent as a few days ago. Weâd sneak away, just the two of us, in the past, sometimes more, and Iâd lose myself riding him until neither of us could breathe. Heâs incredibleâknows exactly how to touch you, how to use his massive cock, how to keep you wanting more. If you ever get the chance, donât waste it.â She gives you a sly wink, her smile edged with both mischief and something like pride. âSeriously, youâre missing out.â
You flush so hard your vision blurs, lips parting in stunned disbelief as Karinaâs words hang in the air. You open your mouthânothing, not even air comes out. For a second, your brain scrambles, fumbling for the right response, but itâs a useless mess of excuses and half-baked protests. Your mind replays what she said, graphic and unvarnished, the image of her and Dr. Na tangled together searing through your composure, and suddenly youâre blushing all the way to your collarbones. You try to gather yourself, try to insist that youâre just an intern, that heâs your attending, that youâd never blur those lines, but your thoughts keep snagging on the word âfucking,â on the memory of his hands guiding yours, the memory of how safe and seen he makes you feel. You canât even look at her, so you focus on Haeunâs soft, sleeping cheek, the weight of her trust grounding you as you try to string together a sentence that might save your dignity. But thereâs nothingâjust the ridiculous thrum of your heart and the unspoken question of whether youâll ever be more than a shadow in the presence of legends who know every inch of him in ways you canât even admit to wanting.

The pediatric wing exhales into evening like a great whale gone still. IV pumps settle into soft metronomes, hallway sconces dim to a caramel glow, and the last echo of hurried footsteps gives way to the hush of chart pages turning. Down Respiratory, a nurse threads a neb mask over a toddlerâs nose with lullaby gentleness; in Oncology, a fellow clicks through CT slices no louder than rain on glass. Even the fish tank, half moons of neon tetras, drifts without a wake. Haeun is folded across your thighs like a silk ribbon fallen from a tutu, bodice of her butter-yellow ballerina dress wrinkled from sleep, satin shoes kicked off in a pink heap beneath the sofa. She burrows higher, cheek pressing to the hollow of your throat, honey-sweet curls sliding over your collar while tiny fingers worry the edge of your ID badge. Two hours earlier, Dr. Na closed those fingers around yours. âKeep her with you; she wonât settle for anyone else until Iâm done triaging the ferry casualties.â Then he disappeared towards Trauma, busy with consults after the mass casualty. You havenât heard a pager chirp since; youâre happy that youâre technically supposed to be âstudyingâ right now. After days of fluorescent frenzy, non stop pages and codes, this lull feels like wading out of storm surf onto sun-warmed sand. Haeunâs cling is molten: she tucks her knees to either side of your waist, inhales a shaky breath that seems to weld her heartbeat to yours, then whispers, âMy wuv, stay.â Strawberry-mango juice lingers on her lips, and each time she sighs, the scent rises like a promise that the world, for one soft pocket of evening, has been reduced to just the two of you and the quiet ballet of breathing in unison.
When Haeun awoke from her nap, she was all soft sighs and especially clingyâher tiny body curled into you like a seashell pressed to your shore. She nestles into your lapâyour orchestra pit, a warm cradle beneath herâsharing sips from twin strawberry-mango juice boxes as Barbie and the Twelve Dancing Princesses pirouettes on the screen. Sheâs extra needy for your attention, fingers looping through your scrub pocket, and she doesnât even care that her aunties and uncles had slipped away whilst she was napping, her whole world narrows to you. Her big brown eyes light up at every swirl of tulle: âDat one my color, my wuvâyellow like me!â she chirps, voice tinkling like wind-chimes. You tuck a golden curl behind her ear and she sighs her curtain-call sigh, lashes fluttering, then stubbornly rewinds the pas de deux so she can watch the pointe shoes sparkle once again.
She rises almost without effort, as if the air itself has beckoned her to move. Her tiny feet, arched like new moon crescents, press into the cool fabric of your scrubs, tracing a delicate line of a tendu that whispers of distant shorelines and the soft hush of retreating waves. Her arms lift in perfect first position, slender as swanâs necks, framing a face lit from within by an unspoken joy. Then, with a jubilant trill, she pirouettes, a featherweight ribbon spun to life, each revolution slowing the pulse of the world down to match her own gentle rhythm. In that silent ballet, her curls fan out like golden stardust, her pale yellow dress fluttering at her knees as though she were a dove born anew. When she settles, toes softly drawn back into parallel, she stands resolute yet sereneâevery heartbeat a soft encoreâher eyes gleaming with the quiet confidence of a child who knows she has found her home in the music of your presence.
Mid-movie, she shimmies off your lap and presses her cheek into yours. âMy wuv,â she murmurs, voice soft as windchimes, then pulls back just enough to press a rapid kiss to your temple. âI wuv you, I wuv you!â Her curls tickle your jaw as she darts to your other cheek: âSo pwetty!â
You hum into her hair, voice gentle as a lullaby. âI love you too, angel. Youâre my brightest star.â
She giggles, the sound a bubble-burst of sunshine, and returns, planting open-mouthed kisses along your chin. âMore, more!â she insists, tiny fists anchoring in your scrubs.
âEasy, sweetheart,â you laugh, tipping her forehead with yours. âSave some for later.â
She pouts only brieflyâthose big doe eyes fluttering shutâbefore she grins and whispers, âNo later! Now!â then spoons another kiss onto your eyelid.
âI canât get enough of you,â you admit, voice hushed. âYour love is my favorite story.â
Her answer is a final kiss to your lips, feather-light and fearless. âMy wuv,â she sighs, curling back into your embrace, âsafe here.â
You guide her, your feather-weight ballerina ribbon, into the therapy tub, shedding stray curls and tiny satin slippers that lie abandoned on the pale linoleum like cast-off wings. As warm lavender water blooms around her ankles, she scoops handfuls of froth into the air, watching it scatter like moonlit foam across a midnight sea. Your palms, soft as river-smoothed pebbles, trace gentle counter-currents along her spine, coaxing hidden worries free in sudsy rivulets. You cup water in your hand and pour it over her curls, droplets glinting like stardust before they tumble to join the cloudbanks at her waist. She squealsâa tide pool of delightâeach note a windchime in early spring, and tucks her plastic Bunny beneath her chin as you rinse her with tender precision.
When the tubâs surface stills, you lift her into a plush towel the color of dawn, wrapping her in a sunlit cocoon. She nuzzles your shoulder, lips brushing against your cheek in a soft, grateful kiss that sends a ripple through your shore-steady heart. As her damp skin gleams with promise, you press wads of hypoallergenic cream into the curve of her sternum scar, a hidden tidepool, fragile yet alive with every pulse. Your fingers paint feather-light strokes in concentric circles, each touch a silent vow: I will hold you, come what storms may. She closes her eyes against the caress, the faintest smile tipping her lips, and murmurs âsoft hands, my wuv,â her voice a private encore only you deserve.
Swaddled now in lemon-blossom pajamas, the yellow a promise against any coming dusk, she returns to your lap, tiny legs curled like tendrils seeking the sun. You brush each damp braid into place, pressing a final kiss to the crown of her head, then kiss the scar once more, a gentle benediction over her fragile heart. She presses a palm to your cheek, dew-soft, and sighs a curtain-call breath. âI stay wif my wuv,â she whispers, voice brittle-bright as bubble-glass. In that hush, the world beyond the wardâs doors dissolvesâno beeping pagers, no sterile alarmsâonly the golden arc of our shared twilight, where her tidepool heart and my steadfast shoreline meet in perfect, unbreakable embrace. You sweep the damp tendrils of hair gently through your fingers, unraveling tangles as if smoothing away all lingering troubles of the day.Â
Settling into the armchair, the quiet creak of leather mingling softly with the lullaby of raindrops tapping rhythmically against the glass, you nestle her into your lap, bunny cushioned lovingly between your heartbeats. In your hands is her favorite story, an aged copy of âThe Velveteen Bunny,â pages soft with use, edges tinged with pastel fingerprints. As the morning light slants through the curtains, you begin in a low, lilting voice: âOnce, the Velveteen Bunny asked the Skin Horse, âWhat is real?ââ Before you can continue, Haeunâs small hand presses against your forearm. âReal isâŠ,â she breathes, eyelashes fluttering, âwhen you wuv somepin for a vee-ry long time, anâ den itâs âalweady real,ââ You pause, startled by her knowing, and she grins shyly, burying her face against your chest as your fingers trace gentle circles on her back. Her head cushions against your collarbone, and you feel the warmth of her trust unfurl in your chest.
Turning the page, you read how the boyâs playroom walls echo with laughter and lonely shadows, when Haeun interrupts, âWhy Bunny cry, my wuv?â Her doe eyes lift to yours, glistening with concern as though she fears any sorrow that might touch the book might seep into her own tender tidepool heart. You close the book for a heartbeat and smooth her curls away from her forehead, whispering, âBecause sometimes love hurts, sweetheart, but it also makes us strong.âÂ
She presses one soft finger to your lips, as if tasting the reassurance, then snuggles closer. âStrong like⊠Dada?â she asks, voice barely above a flutter.Â
You kiss the top of her braid and smile, murmuring, âStrong like Dada and as brave as you, my little dancer.â
By the final chapter, the bunny has been made Real by the little boyâs love, and moonlight shimmers across Haeunâs sleepy profile as she finishes the last sentence. âAnd so he was truly Real.â Her words trail into a soft sigh, and she nestles fully into your arms, legs curled against your sides. You close the book gently, laying it aside like a sacred relic, and fold her into the cradle of your embrace. She drifts with her palms against your chest, her breath warm and light, and murmurs, âMy wuv make me real, too.âÂ
Your heart aches with the exquisite weight of her confession, and you whisper back, âYes, my love. You are real, and you are mine.â In the quiet aftermath, the only sound is the soft matching of your heartbeats, a private duet to cradle the fragile magic of two souls bound by love.
Her small hands flutter ceaselessly across your skin, fingertips delicate butterflies tracing secret patterns along your collarbone, her palm settling possessively above your heartbeat as if mapping the safe harbors of your devotion. Her voice, a melody soft and pure, fills the spaces between your own heartbeat, murmuring innocent delights as your hands gently plait her silken strands into neat, tender braids. âNo one does it soft like you, my wuv,â she whispers earnestly, her declaration a gentle possession, a soft sovereignty reserved solely for you. Even when others, Auntie Karina or Auntie Ryujin, offer their hands, she declines with gentle but firm refusal. This ritual, intimate and sacred, remains exclusively yours, a covenant sealed in quiet whispers and soft laughter, binding hearts closer than the stitches of her beloved blanket.
Tonight, the love she carries eclipses even the brightest starlight; she pays no heed to missed goodbyes, her universe condensed entirely into your arms. Her soft mouth trails tiny kisses across your jaw, your eyelids, your browâeach touch igniting sparks beneath your skin, whispers of sunlight breaking through morning mists. You press a lingering kiss to her forehead, voice thick with love, naming her softly as your precious one, your sweet solace. She giggles shyly, a delicate blush blooming like dawn upon her cheeks, nuzzling deeper beneath the buttery-soft folds of the yellow blanket, contentment settling over her as surely as twilight blankets the sea.
You pause to call Dr. Na, at Haeunâs request, not wanting to sleep without saying a goodnight to her beloved Daddy. His voice is muffled by fatigue yet laced with unmistakable warmth when his daughter murmurs, âGoodnight, dada,â her voice sleepy, syrup-sweet. He promises to return soon, that heâll take her home soon, you glimpse a flicker of longing and quiet comfort threading through his words, fragile as moonlight through storm clouds. Her voice softens further, drifting into drowsiness even as her lips curl gently, contentment humming through her small frame.
You clear your throat softly, fingers trembling around the cuff of her blanket, and lean in close, breath warm against her temple. The lamp casts gentle halos around her wispy hair, and you must steady yourself against the swell of your own longing. âHaeun,â you whisper, voice threaded with tentative hope, âcan I ask you something very, very important?â Your heart hammers in your chest like a little drum.Â
For a moment the only sound is the hush of her breathing. Then her sleepy eyes open, glassy with trust, wide with wonder and she tilts her head as though the question itself is the sweetest gift. âYes, my wuv?â she answers, voice clear and bright as wind-chimes in a summer breeze.
You swallow, words catching like pearls on your tongue, and your fingers brush the curve of her cheek, marveling at the softness of her skin. âYou call everyone else âAuntieââAuntie Karina, Auntie Ryujin, Auntie Hyejin but you never call me that,â you say, voice gentle as dusk settling over the city. Each syllable is a quiet confession of your own insecurities, the ache of wanting to belong in her world. You watch her small chest rise and fall with careful breaths, waiting for her answer as though it might reshape everything you thought you knew.
Youâve noticed it from the very beginning: in rooms full of laughter and chatter, sheâs the one who darts straight to you, babbling âmy wuv,â âmy girl,â âmy pwetty,â as if those words weigh more than any formal title. The others share amused, fond smiles when she does it, exchanging glances but never questioning it because they know itâs already become your secret bond. And every time her tiny voice skips past âAuntieâ and lands on something sweeter, your heart tightens with a warmth thatâs equal parts gratitude, longing and confusion. Itâs as if sheâs chosen you, not by words on paper, but by the names sheâs invented from pure love and no reaction from anyone else could ever match the gentle triumph you feel in that moment.
Her lashes flutter, each delicate blink a petal falling on the surface of your soul, and you feel the pull of her gaze, tender and knowing beyond her years. After a heartbeat that stretches into eternity, she blurts out with the fierce certainty of a child who speaks truths no adult would dare: âYou not my auntie. You my wuv, my bestest girl, my always!â The words tumble free, shining with innocent conviction, and your throat tightens as you realize sheâs given you something far deeper than any title.
You press your forehead to hers, the warmth of her sleepy sighs mingling with your own stunned relief. âBut why?â you whisper, voice so soft it could be mistaken for the rustle of silk. âI braid your hair in princess loops, bring you strawberries with extra cream, hold your hand through the dark so arenât I your auntie, too?â You trace the gentle arc of her eyebrow with your fingertip, memorizing every curve, every shade of her eyelashes against her skin.
Her tiny hand curls around yours, the bloom of her warmth seeping into your palm. She raises those chubby fingers to your cheek, brushing your skin with the gentlest press of insistence, and begins again, syllables tumbling out like precious beads. âYou braid my hair when I sad, even when itâs too short so wind and my tears no get in. You sing the moon song at night, soft-soft like bunny fur, and then Iâm not scared, I go night-night. And when the big beep-beep machines sing loud, you squeeze me tight and say, âIâm right here, baby,â so I know you no go. You stay right hereâright here with me.â Each confession lands like a kiss against your ribs, and you can almost feel the steady warmth of her trust radiating through your veins.
She wiggles closer, forehead pressed to your heart, and adds with toddler solemnity, âAuntie Karina gives me twirly dresses, Auntie Ryujin shows me dance steps, Auntie Hyejin draws me bunny pictures and I love them all but youâre extra special, youâre my best wuv. You hold my hand when they poke me and when I go ow-ow. You give me your pink yogurt when I hungry. And you pop-pop bubble wrap with me when I bored.â She giggles, buries her fingers in your scrubs, claiming you without a doubt. âYou and Dada make me laugh, but you laugh louder when I squeak, and your eyes sparkle just for me.â Then she scoots even closer, pressing her little hand over your lips, eyes wide and shining. âI wuv you bigâlike Dada! Maybe even more, âcause you my girl. My best girl. My always.â Her breath hitches with a proud, sleepy sigh, and as her chest rises against yours, you feel the whole world shrink to the soft space between your hearts, every tiny beat a promise: she picked you.
The pediatric lounge glows with the hush of midnight, walls tinted blue by the filtered light that seeps through half-closed blinds. In this liminal sanctuary, the world contracts to the warm, living weight of your child in your lapâher presence both anchor and lifeline. She is a delicate dove, her skin a porcelain canvas kissed by the faintest blush, her cheeks plump as angel-kissed rose petals, soft and luminous under the dim glow. Her hair, a cascade of midnight silk, frames her face in gentle waves, each strand a feather from an ethereal wing, while her eyes, wide and dewy like a celestial fawnâs, shimmer with an otherworldly innocence. Her tiny frame, swathed in a gossamer gown that clings to her like a haloâs whisper, exudes a fragile grace, her every breath a fluttering hymn from the heavens. Her heartbeat is a moonlit tide, ebbing and surging with a rhythm that mimics your own, her tiny chest rising and falling as if sheâs learning the cadence of breath from your gravityâs pull. She is your fledgling dove, her soft, fine hair pressed to your collar, fingers twined through your drawstrings, a delicate bundle of trust and warmth. Her exhales are feathers stirring in the air, a gentle counterpoint to the soft tick of the wall clock and the distant hum of nurses at the desk.
You are her constellation map: a familiar atlas etched in the arcs of your jaw, the scent of your shirt, the softness of your cheek, the way your voice threads through the lull in the hospitalâs pulse. When fatigue or fear threatens to capsize her, her small fingers chart these starry paths, mapping her safety in you. her unwavering north star. There are drawings of rainbows and cartoon hearts taped to the cabinet behind you, reminders of the other lives that have sought solace here, but tonight she claims you as wholly as the moon claims the tide. Her eyelids, velvet night curtains, drift down with the slow grace of a theaterâs final act, but they flutter open at the softest murmur of your voice, as if sleep is a suitor sheâs not quite ready to welcome. Half-drowsed, she lingers at the edge of dreams, body molten and pliant, molding to the curve of your arm. Her handâfragile as a mothâs wingâbrushes your cheek, a gesture so tender it feels like a benediction spun from gossamer.
âGoodnight, Mama,â she breathes, her voice as light and pure as wind chimes at the window. The words seem to hang in the air, shimmering with all the clarity of a childâs faith, and in that moment the lounge dissolves, the world is just her and you, suspended in a pocket of love untouched by alarm bells and fear. Then, softer, as if the words are woven from moonlightâs frayed edges, she whispers, âMe always your baby bird, your baby girl, all yours.â She mumbles, her voice a drowsy little hum, fading into the quiet. Her trust is a barefoot pirouette, spinning, fearless, certain you will always catch her, her love a bubble-glass orb: radiant, exquisite, so delicate you fear that even the air itself might shatter it.
Your mind stumbles, grasping for a response, any response, but finds noneâonly a hollow echo of disbelief reverberating through your bones. The room falls still, the quiet stretching taut like a drawn bowstring, broken only by the soft rhythm of her breathing. You study her face, luminous and serene, a cameo etched in moonlight, her lips parted in a gentle crescent, her features softened by sleepâs gentle embrace. She looks so peaceful, so utterly at rest, that the urge to wake her gnaws at you, a desperate longing to hear those words again, to confirm they were real and not a trick of your yearning heart. Yet to disturb her feels profane, a sacrilege against this sacred stillness, and so you hesitate, your hand hovering above her small shoulder, trembling with indecision.
Leaning closer, you break the silence with a whisper that rises louder than intended, a fervent plea slicing through the hush. âWhat did you say? What did you call me?â The words tremble on your lips, a fragile bridge between wakefulness and dream. She remains fast asleep, her chest rising and falling with the steady cadence of a moonlit tide, but a smile blooms across her face, soft, dream-drenched, radiant. In her slumber, she drifts into a vision: a meadow bathed in silver light, where she dances with a figure cloaked in stardustâyour silhouette, guiding her with outstretched arms. Flowers bloom at her feet, petals unfurling like prayers, and the air hums with the laughter of unseen angels. From this ethereal landscape, a breathy âmaâŠâ escapes her, a tender call that weaves through the dreamscape, tethering her to you even in sleepâs deepest folds.
The sound unravels you. A choked sob erupts from your chest, raw and unbidden, tears spilling hot and heavy down your cheeks as you bury your face in the crook of your arm, stifling the sound to shield her slumber. You donât know how to feel, adrift in a tempest of awe and terror, your heart a fragile vessel tossed on waves you cannot navigate. How are you worthy of this? How has this perfect being, this angel-child, chosen you to be her harbor? The doubt gnaws at you, perhaps sheâs merely mumbling incoherent fragments, words strung together by the whims of sleep. But Haeun, with her precise little tongue, never stumbles over her declarations; her words are deliberate, a wholehearted vow that she has chosen you forever, a bond etched in the marrow of her soul. This intimacy is a precious relic, a treasure so luminous it blinds you, yet it terrifies you tooâthe depth of your attachment, the way her trust coils around your heart like ivy, unbreakable and wild. Why does she cling to you so fiercely? What have you done to deserve this radiant devotion? Self-doubt creeps in, a shadow darker than the black swanâs wings, whispering that you are too young, too untested, a child yourself stumbling through the labyrinth of parenthood. You wonder if your inexperience will falter under her needs, if your own childish whims will fail to nurture the wisdom and strength she deserves. Are you enough to be her mamaâthe steady north star she seeks, the guardian against the storms she cannot yet name? The fear coils tighter: what if your laughter turns to tears, your guidance to missteps, your love to a fragile thread that snaps under the weight of her trust?
What if illness strikes, a silent thief in the night, stealing her vitality before you can shield her? What if the worldâs cruelties, its sharp edges and unyielding judgmentsâscar her innocence, and you lack the armor to protect her? What if your own flaws, your impatience, your uncertainties, carve wounds sheâll carry into her future, blaming you for the cracks in her spirit? The thought of her growing, of her needing more than you can giveâeducation, stability, a fortress of certaintyâparalyzes you. You fear youâll falter when she stumbles, that your hands, still trembling with youth, will fail to catch her when she falls. And deeper still, the dread of losing her loom, a sudden void where her laughter once rang, a silence where her voice called you âMama,â with so much devotion. A loss so profound it threatens to unravel the very fabric of your being.
Tears cascade anew as you clutch her closer, the thought of losing her a blade twisting in your gut. The attachment binds you both, a silken thread that glows with sacred light, and the terror of its severance, of her slipping from your grasp, her dove-wings folding into silence, crushes you. You sob quietly, your breath hitching, your lips brushing her forehead as you vow silently to shield her from every phantom, every parasite, every shadow that dares threaten your fledgling angel. Her love, a windchimeâs fleeting melody, her trust like a pirouetteâs fearless spin, youâre her constellation map, and though doubt gnaws at your soul, you will guide her home through every night, forever her unwavering beacon.
A gasp claws its way from your throat, sharp and unbidden, as if the air has turned to thorns. Your chest swells, flushed and fevered, a crucible of emotion threatening to spill over. Dread slips in like a black swan, wings glossy and dark, eyes like polished jet, its shadow stretching long across the loungeâs fluorescent pools. This swan is a parasite, a malevolent specter poised to snatch your dove, to blot out her light and leave you clutching only echoes. You are adrift, a ballerina teetering on the edge of a shattered stage, your pirouette faltering in a sea of awe and terror, your identity as her mama fracturing under the weight of this dark ballet. Your hands tremble, hovering like restless specters above the frayed edge of her blanket, powerless against the tidal surge of your roiling emotions. The black swan lurks at the periphery of your mind, its shadow a cold, inescapable shroud, yet Haeunâs warmth. her delicate weight, her unyielding trust, rises as a fragile bulwark against the encroaching night. You press your lips to her brow, tasting the saline tang of her skin mingled with the saccharine essence of her existence, drawing her closer as if your embrace could forge an impenetrable fortress against every phantom, every parasitic fiend that dares to threaten your fledgling dove. Her love chimes like a windchime caught in a tempestâs fleeting lull, her trust a ballerinaâs fearless spin across a crumbling stage, and youâher constellation map, a trembling north starâvow to guide her through this abyss, though the darkness presses ever nearer.
In her sleep, she giggles, a sound so pure it lacerates the gloom, a beacon of innocence blind to the cruel world lurking beyond her dreams. Within that silvered meadow of her mind, happiness ignites, a vivid, harrowing tableau where she, Haeun, watches you and Dada unite in a marriage beneath a canopy of stardust, now stained with the shadow of impending doom. Clad in a flower girlâs gown of ethereal petals, she claps with unrestrained delight, scattering blossoms like sacrificial offerings to a crumbling heaven, her laughter a melody that dances with the dying echoes of an unseen choir. You, her mama, stand radiant in white, Dada at your side, a union sealed with vows that reverberate through her dreamscape like a requiem. Yet, unbeknownst to her blissful ignorance, a black dove perches behind the altar, its wings unfurling like a widowâs veil, a silent predator poised to strike, its beak a guillotine sharpened to sever her from this fragile ecstasy. It waits, a specter of annihilation, ready to swallow her whole, its maw a void that promises to erase her light forever. The vision sears you, a thrillerâs climax unfolding in her slumber, and you sob, choked, shuddering gasps that rack your frame with violent tremors, your hands shaking uncontrollably as you clutch her tighter, tears streaming like molten lava down your face, scorching your skin. The weight of her attachment, the terror of its annihilation, consumes you, leaving you a quivering wreck in the shadow of that unseen threat, her giggles a haunting, oblivious counterpoint to your unraveling despair as the black doveâs presence looms ever nearer, its strike inevitable.

Since that haunting night when Haeunâs drowsy whisper of âmamaâ slipped through the fragile veil of your fears and dreams, the word has woven itself into the fabric of your days, a relentless refrain that spills from her lips with the unshakable certainty of a childâs heart. It began in the quiet of her sleep, a tender crown bestowed upon you in the shadows, and since then, she has never faltered, never questioned. Now, the title tumbles from her in a cascade of toddler sweetness, each utterance a delicate thread stitching you deeper into her world. One sunlit morning, she climbed onto a wobbly stool, blinking up at you shyly, her tiny hands clutching a ribboned braid thatâs slipping loose. âMama, can you tie it tighta?â she pleads, her dark eyes sparkling with impatient delight, her little voice a melody of misspoken charm. Later, sprawled on the rug in the interns lounge with a snack bowl, she held up a sticky, puffed marshmallow, its edges glistening with her tiny fingerprints. âMama, I saved you da biggest mash-mawwow!â she chirps, her grin a radiant beacon of unearned generosity, her words tripping over themselves in adorable haste. And one evening, as you sit together amid a scatter of craft supplies, she pats a lopsided paper hat adorned with glitter, her chubby fingers tracing its edges. âMama, you can cry if you want! Daddy cry last week, anâ I maked him a hat!â she declares with solemn pride.Â
Each time, the word strikes you like a jolt of electricity, and you flinch, your breath catching in your throat as if itâs a dagger aimed at your fragile resolve. You kneel down, your knees pressing into the cool tile, and gently place your hands on her small shoulders, their warmth a stark contrast to the chill creeping up your spine. âIâm not your mama, sweetpea. Iâm your auntie.â You murmur, your voice a soft cadence meant to soothe, though it trembles with an unspoken ache.
Haeun tilts her head, her brow furrowing in a confusion that lacks any trace of hurt, her innocence a shield against your denial. âBut you do the mama things. So maybe you are,â she insists, her toddler lisp curling around the words like a melody. She pauses, her tiny mind whirring, then launches into a litany with the earnestness only a two-year-old can muster: âYou give me ouchie kisses when I fall, anâ you make the yummy pancakes with the funny faces, anâ you sing the sleepy song when the dark scares me, anâ you hold me tight when Daddyâs loud, anâ you fix my blankie when itâs all twisty, anâ you say âgood jobâ when I color big, anâ you make the bath bubbles so high, anâ you tell the story âbout the moon lady, anâ you hug me when I cry, anâ you find my bunny when heâs lost, anâ you say âI love youâ lots anâ lots!â Her voice rises with each item, a catalog of your tender acts transformed into evidence, her dark eyes wide with conviction as if sheâs presenting a case to the heavens themselves.
The days stretch on, a tapestry of exhaustion and quiet battles, and one cruel night after a grueling shift, after Jaeminâs voice cracked like thunder, his words a jagged blade slicing through your heart with an accusation you canât unhear, you retreat to the call room. The air thick with the scent of antiseptic and stale coffee, the dim light casting long shadows across the narrow cot where you collapse. Your fingers fumble with the locker door, and there, tucked among the chaos of your scrubs, you find a drawing. A bold pink heart dominates the page, its edges uneven, paired with a badly drawn dragon, its scales a scribble of green and gold. Scrawled in wobbly crayon, the words leap out at you: âMama, you are the best at doctor. Donât forget. I didnât. Love, baby dragon.â The paper trembles in your grasp as tears erupt, a deluge more violent than any youâve known, your sobs echoing off the sterile walls. You clutch the drawing to your chest, the name âmamaâ searing into your skin like a brand, the only title that has ever truly fit, a mantle you can no longer shed.
From that moment, you cease your gentle corrections, the word settling into your soul like a secret vow. Yet, in the quiet spaces between, you become her mama in ways that remain a sacred pact, a bond forged in the shadows, known only to you and her. One evening, as rain lashes the windows, you sit cross-legged on the floor, stitching a tear in her favorite stuffed bunny with meticulous care, your fingers trembling as she watches with awe, whispering, âMama fixes everything.â The intimacy of the act, the way her trust rests in your hands, binds you closer, a clandestine ritual of love. Another dawn finds you cradling her through a fevered evening, your voice a lullaby weaving tales of starlit skies as her small body presses against you, her sleepy âMama, stayâ a plea that seals your role in the dark. And on a quiet afternoon, you teach her to plant seeds in a tiny pot, your hands guiding hers through the soil, her delighted squeal of âMama, we growed it!â a triumph you hoard like a treasure, a secret covenant between youâher mamaâand her innocent heart, a bond you nurture in the hush, fearing the worldâs judgment but cherishing the purity of her choice. You stand at the edge of this new identity, a ballerina poised on a tightrope of love and fear, your every step a dance of devotion as you embrace the role sheâs bestowed upon you, a sacred secret trembling in the silence, known only to the two of you amidst the storm.
Later, the world shrinks to a watercolor hush, just you and Haeun in the corner of the hospital playroom, an island of light where the sun spills in through the windows and paints her curls gold. Youâre helping her dress her plushies for their ânight-night party,â chubby hands fumbling with mismatched pajamas, her bunny in a polka-dot shirt, her dragon in a tiny, stolen hospital sock. She leans against your shoulder as you tie a little ribbon around bunnyâs neck, your cheek pressed to her hair, her scent all baby shampoo and warm bread, the kind of sweetness that aches in your chest.
She hums as she works, tongue poking from the side of her mouth, her focus total until, out of nowhere, she tilts her head and peers up at you, eyes wide and searching. âMama?â Her voice is syrupy, feather-soft. âIf bunny and dragon have night-night together, they have to be âget marriedâ and be mama and dada too, right?â She squints, working hard to line up her words, determined to make sense of this grown-up mystery. âBunny said you should be my real mama with my dada. So, you do âget marriedâ and⊠and live in same house as me and Dad and you do kissies and you cook pancakes. Then we happy ever after.â
You freeze mid-tie, eyebrows knitting in surprise, her logic landing in your lap like a toy dropped from a great height. âNo, bubba, what? Why would I marry your Dada?â you laugh, soft but incredulous, feeling a blush bloom as you meet her gaze.Â
Haeunâs lips twist in a grin too old for her face, sly and sparkling. She leans forward, whispering, âMy wuv has a crush on my dada. Bunny heard it!â
You gasp, playing along, âNo! I do not! You are such a little mischief!âÂ
But Haeun only giggles, dropping her dragon to climb into your lap, her tiny knees pressing into your thighs, arms flung tight around your neck. âYes, you do. Mama, you have a crush. Like me! I have crush on Uncle Nono. I wish he was my boyfwen.â Her eyes are huge and serious now, like sheâs confessing a secret to the moon. âWhen you have crush, you wanna hold hands and kiss and share your jelly bears. You wanna sleep in same bed and watch cartoons. You wanna do happy faces, all the time.â
You bury your face in her hair, trying not to laugh and cry at the same time, breathing her in, the fragile joy of it tightening around your heart. âOh, baby,â you sigh, brushing your nose against her temple, âIâm just your âwuv.â Thatâs enough for me.â But Haeun isnât satisfied; she pulls back, squishing your cheeks in her palms, searching your face for something she canât quite name. âNo, mama. I think you got crush. Dada makes you smile like pancakes. And you get shiny eyes and you so shy around him. And you always wanna fix his hair.â You sigh, helpless, as she presses a sloppy kiss to your cheek, wiping her own mouth with the back of her hand, grinning. âI wanna have crush like you. I wanna have pancakes and kissies and night-night with my best people.â You cradle her close, her bunny tucked between you, the rhythm of her breath matching yours, the two of you a knot of soft limbs and toy fluff, hearts beating against the storm that always seems just beyond the door.
You squeeze her tight, rocking gently, the light shifting across the floor, your worries melting in the bubble of her warmth. âYou, my sunshine, are the best thing I ever got to love.â She beams, victorious, nestling deeper into your lap, and together you build a castle of blankets and hope, letting the world wait outside, just for tonight, just for this, just you and your sunshine girl, her dragon, her bunny, and the sweet, unbreakable promise of âmama.â

In the tender cradle of Haeunâs dreams, ballet unfurls as a boundless realm where her spirit soars free, a sanctuary woven from the threads of her heartâs deepest yearnings. Each night, as she nestles into her soft blankets, her mind dances into a shimmering world where the dance studio transforms into an enchanted forest, its pale wooden floors carpeted with velvet moss and its mirrors reflecting a sky ablaze with twilight hues. The pianoâs melody swells into a symphony of wind chimes and bird songs, guiding her tiny feet as she twirls in her daisy-strewn tutu, its tulle fluttering like the wings of a fairy. She imagines herself as a princess-ballerina, her movements a graceful rebellion against the fragility that once tethered her, each pirouette a defiant spin that scatters the shadows of her past like fallen leaves. In this dreamscape, Ryujin and Shotaro join her, transformed into woodland sprites, Ryujin with lavender wings that glitter with dew, Shotaro with mint-green vines curling around his leotard, laughing as they leap and twirl in unison, their giggles echoing through the trees.
Her dreams are rich with vivid tableaux, each step a story of triumph. She envisions a grand stage where you, her mama, and Jaemin, her Dada, sit in the front row, their faces aglow with pride as she performs a solo, her tiny arms outstretched like a dove taking flight. The audience fades into a blur of clapping hands, but their applause is a lifeline, a chorus that drowns out the bad days sheâs determined to dizzy away with her spins. Sometimes, she dreams of a moonlit meadow where she dances with a constellation of stars, each twinkle a memory of her healing, doctorsâ smiles, check-up victories, the day she first stood on tiptoe again. She imagines herself growing taller, her tutu evolving into a doctorâs coat that swirls like a skirt, stitching hearts with her twirls, a fusion of her two greatest loves. âI be a docta who twirls!â she whispers in her sleep, her voice a soft chant, her heart believing it with every beat.
Yet, beneath this joy, her dreams carry a whisper of vulnerability, a thread of the black dove sheâs too innocent to sense. She dreams of the wedding-day fantasy, you and Dada exchanging vows under a starlit canopy, her as the flower girl tossing petals with sticky hands, clapping with delight. But in the periphery, the black dove lurks, its obsidian wings a silent threat behind the altar, waiting to cast its shadow. Unaware, she spins faster, her laughter a shield, believing her dance can outpace any danger. In these dreams, ballet is her soulâs language, a place where she is loudest without words, where loveâyours, Jaeminâs, Ryujinâs, Shotaroâsâconverges into a circle of light. Itâs her rebellion, her proof of strength, a canvas where she paints her healing with every step, each twirl a prayer that the bad days will fade, leaving only the sparkle of her pretty dancerâs heart.
For weeks, Haeun has been a whirlwind of pleading, her tiny voice a relentless melody begging to return to ballet. After months of recoveryâpainstaking milestones marked by cautious check-ups and the steady beat of her mending heartâher cardiologist finally relents, granting permission for a gentle beginner class, a cautious step back into the world she adores. Her excitement is a palpable force, a radiant energy that fills the house the night before. She insists on laying out her tutu, a frothy confection of pale pink tulle adorned with tiny embroidered daisies, carefully smoothing it over a chair as if itâs a royal garment. That morning, Jaemin, with his surgeonâs precision tempered by fatherly tenderness, braids her dark hair into a neat bun, his fingers deftly weaving each strand, the tip of his tongue peeking out in concentration. She twirls around the living room, her tutu flaring like a blooming flower, squealing with unbridled joy, âI gonna dance, Dada! I gonna fwy!â Her voice, a lisping trill of delight, dances through the air, her chubby cheeks flushed with excitement, her eyes sparkling like polished onyx.
She climbs onto his lap with a determined wiggle, her small hands framing his face as she leans in, planting a tender, sticky kiss on his lips, her breath warm and laced with the innocence of childhood. âI your pwetty dancer, Dada?â she asks, her voice a lilting melody, her dark eyes wide with hopeful adoration, a shy smile tugging at her chubby cheeks.Â
Jaeminâs stern facade melts, his lips curving into a gentle smile as he brushes a stray lock of hair from her forehead, his voice low and tender. âYes, my sunshine, youâre the prettiest dancer Daddy could ever dream of,â he murmurs, pulling her close, his heart swelling with pride as her giggles fill the space, a fleeting moment of peace before the day unfolds.
Jaemin, though, carries a shadow of hesitation, his brow furrowed as he pores over every clearance document, every vital sign, his fingers tracing the lines of her medical chart with a surgeonâs scrutiny. At breakfast, he watches her like a hawk, his hand gently tapping her sternum as she giggles, the sound a bright chime against his quiet concern. âYouâre strong, sunshine,â he whispers against her temple, his breath warm and steady, a lifeline in his voice. âOnly if you feel tired, you tell me, okay? Then you stop.âÂ
She beams up at him, her smile a crescent moon, and hooks her pinky with his. âPinky pwomise, Dada! I be suuuuper stwong!â she chirps, her tiny finger locking with his in a solemn vow, her trust in him absolute.
They arrive at the studio hand in hand, Haeunâs steps a bouncy skip as she clutches her dance bag, its strap slipping down her small shoulder. Jaemin lingers behind the glass wall, his arms folded tight across his chest, a sentinel of hyper-vigilance, his dark eyes tracking her every move in silence. Inside, the room buzzes with life as other toddlers stretch and giggle, their leotards a pastel symphony. Haeun, with her daisy-strewn tutu and braided bun slightly askew, fits right in, her presence a burst of sunshine amid the group. She spots Ryujin, her beloved teacher, and waddles over, her tutu swishing. âWook, Wyujin! I back to dance!â she exclaims, her words a cute jumble, and Ryujin grins, mimicking a twirl that Haeun copies with a clumsy, adorable flourish, her arms flailing like little wings.
Haeun, her daisy-strewn tutu flaring with every eager step, toddles toward a cluster of fellow ballerinas. She spots Chaewon first, a delicate girl with a lavender leotard and a shy smile, stretching her legs with the grace of a budding flower. Haeun plops down beside her, her chubby hands patting Chaewonâs knee with a gentle tap. âChae-wonnie, you so pwetty when you stretch!â she exclaims, her voice a sugary lisp, her dark eyes wide with admiration. Chaewon giggles, her cheeks flushing pink, and they link pinkies, swaying side to side as if sharing a secret dance. Haeun leans in, her braid slightly askew, and whispers, âI miss dance sooo much! It my happy place!â Her words tumble out with a heartfelt sigh, and she pulls Chaewon into a wobbly hug, her tiny arms wrapping around her friend like a warm cocoon, a testament to the love sheâs poured back into this world sheâs longed for.
Next, Haeunâs gaze lands on Heejin, a spirited girl with a mint-green leotard, twirling with a ribbon in hand, her movements a blur of joy. Haeun waddles over, her tutu swishing, and claps her hands with delight. âHee-jinnie, you like a fairy twirling! Can I twirl wif you?â she asks, her voice a sweet plea, her head tilting as she bounces on her toes. Heejin nods, handing her the ribbon, and they spin together, Haeunâs laughter ringing like tiny bells as she stumbles but catches herself, her love for ballet shining through every misstep. She stops, breathless, and tugs Heejin down to sit, their faces close as she traces a finger along Heejinâs ribbon. âI miss dis so much, Hee-jinnie. My heart was sad, but now it happy, I dancey again!â she confesses, her voice softening into a tender coo, and she rests her head against Heejinâs shoulder, a quiet moment of intimacy as they share the warmth of reunion, Haeunâs affection a gentle balm to her months of absence.
Then, Haeun notices Niki, a boy with a sky-blue leotard, practicing a wobbly pliĂ© with a serious frown, his small brow furrowed in concentration. She scurries over, her tutu fluttering, and plops down in front of him, mimicking his pose with an exaggerated pout. âNiki, you so stwong wike a big boy! I help you dance!â she chirps, her words a cute jumble, and she takes his hands, pulling him up for a clumsy twirl. Niki giggles, his shyness melting away, and they spin together, Haeunâs laughter a bright melody as she stumbles into him, wrapping her arms around his waist in a tight hug. âI miss you anâ dance so much, Niki! You my best dance fwiend!â she declares, her voice brimming with love, her eyes glistening with the joy of reconnection. They sit together, knees touching, as Haeun traces patterns on the floor with her finger, whispering, âBallet make me feel wike I fly again,â her adoration for her friends and this art form pouring out in every tender gesture, a love rekindled after months of silence.
A gentle piano melody weaves through the space, its notes a tender lullaby that dances around the giggles of a small class of toddlers stretching in pastel leotardsâpinks, lavenders, and mint greens fluttering like petals in a spring breeze. Shotaro, their dedicated teacher clad in a mint-green outfit, stands at the center, his presence a beacon of calm as he guides his young students through their first lesson of the day, the atmosphere a radiant beam of sunshine before an unseen storm. âAlright, my little stars, letâs stretch those arms like big, strong wings!â Shotaro calls out, his voice a soothing melody, kneeling to demonstrate with a wide, graceful sweep of his arms.Â
The class, a lively bunch of fifteen, responds with eager chatter. Chaewon, in her lavender leotard, stretches tentatively, her shy smile breaking into a giggle as she murmurs, âWike a butterfly, Teach-w Shotawwo?â He nods, beaming,
âExactly, Chaewon! Flutter those wings!âÂ
Beside her, Heejin, in mint-green, bounces excitedly, twirling a ribbon. âI gonna fly high, Shotawwo!â she chirps, andÂ
Shotaro laughs, âYes, Heejin, fly high but soft, okay?âÂ
Niki, in sky-blue, furrows his brow, mimicking a pliĂ© with a serious nod. âI stwong, Teacher!â he declares.
Shotaro crouches beside him, âYou are, Niki! Keep those knees bent!â The room fills with their voices, a chorus of innocence, as Shotaro weaves play into discipline, turning each move into a story. âImagine youâre trees growing tall!â he suggests, and the kids sway, their laughter a bright melody.
Haeun, her tutu flaring with every eager step, toddles to Shotaroâs side, her dark eyes fixed on him with unwavering trust. âTeach-w Shotawwo, I dance wif you, pwease?â she pleads, her voice a sweet coo, and he offers his hand with a warm smile.Â
âOf course, Haeun, letâs show them how itâs done!â They stumble through a wobbly pliĂ© together, and Haeunâs laughter rings out like golden bells as she balances on her tiptoes, her satin slippers gliding with surprising grace for her tiny frame. âI dance so I donât disappear, wike magic!â she declares, her soul igniting with every step, a rebellion against the fragility sheâs overcome.Â
Shotaro guides her gently, âBeautiful, Haeun! Now spin like a fairy!â and she twirls, her tutu flaring perfectly, her movements fluid and instinctive, a natural talent shining through. She catches Jaeminâs eye through the glass, beaming. âDada, do bawwewinas cwy? Or do dey just spawkle wike fairy dust?â she calls, her head tilting with a pondering innocence, and Jaeminâs stern face softens, nodding with pride.
The class continues, a symphony of tiny triumphs. Chaewon shyly joins Haeun for a duet, whispering, âHaeun, you so pwetty when you spin!âÂ
Haeun giggles, âYou pwetty too, Chae-wonnie! Wetâs twirl togedder!â They spin, arms linked, their tutus a blur of color.Â
Heejin bounds over, ribbon in hand, âHaeun, wetâs fly wif dis!âÂ
Haeun nods, âYes, Hee-jinnie, we fairy sisters!â They twirl together, Haeunâs balance impeccable as she follows Shotaroâs cue to âreach for the stars!âÂ
Niki, inspired, joins them, âHaeun, you teach me spin?â he asks, and she claps.
âYes, Niki! You my dance knight!â They spin in a clumsy circle, Haeun leading with a natural rhythm, her laughter a beacon.Â
Shotaro praises her, âHaeun, youâre a natural! Keep those toes pointed!â and she beams, âI wuv dance, Shotawwo! It make me shine!â Her talent blossoms, each step a testament to her love, her body remembering balletâs language with a grace that lights the room.
As they rest, Haeun flops beside Chaewon, panting, âMy tutuâs tired. Can we nap togedder?âÂ
Chaewon nods, âYes, wike wittle kitties!â and they giggle, lying side by side.Â
Heejin and Niki join, forming a sleepy pile, and Haeun whispers to Niki, âIf I spin fast ânuff, my heart go boom boom and then I get dizzy!âÂ
She sits up and turns to the glass, clapping, âYouâre da pwettiest when you clap for me, Dada!â and Jaeminâs applause thunders softly, his pride a quiet glow. âWhen I gwow up, I wanna be a docta like Dada! A docta who twirls wike a twirly-whirl!â she announces, and the kids cheer.
âYes, Haeun!â Shotaro adds, âAnd Iâll be your glittery backup, okay?âÂ
She giggles, âOnly if you gwittew, Shotawwo!â For Haeun, ballet is her loudest voice, a rebellion against fragility, drawing her lovesâJaemin, Chaewon, Heejin, Niki, Shotaroâinto a circle of light, her talent a radiant proof of healing, a sunshine beam before the storm.
The air thickens, a sudden suffocating shroud descending as the gentle rhythm shatters into a discordant wail, the deceptive calm ripped apart like torn silk. Haeun, brimming with pride, showcases her newfound strength to Chaewon, Heejin, and Niki, her daisy strewn tutu flaring as she aims for a daring, high fence leap, her tiny legs trembling with determination. âWook, fwiends! I gonna jump wike a big bawwewina!â She chirps, her voice a fleeting melody slicing through the air, her eyes blazing with triumphant sparks that shimmer like newborn constellations. âI fly so high, wike a starry bird!â A giggle erupts, wild and reckless, as she spins, mimicking Ryujinâs elegant arabesque with a clumsy, joyous whirl. Sunshine pours from her laughter, a radiant flood of golden beams igniting the room like a dawn breaking over a tranquil sea, then silence. A heartbeat later, darkness crashes like a sledgehammer, a whiplash of unseen terror. Her body sways, lurches, staggers, twisted mid-leap like a sapling shredded by a howling gale. A choked gasp rasps from her throat, knees crumple with a bone-shattering crack, and she slams to the floor, her tutu collapsing like wilted petals around a broken doll. The light in her eyes flickers, gutters, a brilliant starfield collapsing into a dying ember, then extinguished by an invisible, icy breath, plunging the void into an abyssal blackness, a suffocating eclipse where lifeâs radiance once reigned supreme.
A scream pierces the air as Ryujin lunges forward, her cry a jagged blade slicing through the stunned hush, children scattering like frightened birds, their laughter dying into a hollow abyss. Shotaro slams the door open, his chest constricting into a vice of icy dread, the studioâs sterile scent morphing into a nauseating chokehold, a cryptâs breath. Jaemin, a panther unleashed by a primal, soul-shattering instinct, erupts forward in a blurâone stride, twoâhis knees slamming to the floor with a force that sends a jolt of agony through his trembling frame, his surgeonâs hands a frenzied tempest as they lunge to her pulse with a fatherâs desperation, claw at her airway with a loverâs tenderness, and probe her breath with a heart on the brink of collapse. âHaeun, my baby girl! Stay with me! Look at Daddy!â he bellows, his voice a lifeline fracturing into a raw, guttural sob that rips from his core, hot tears streaming down his contorted face as his ironclad yet quaking fingers, shaking with a fatherâs unbearable grief, fight to shield her from the encroaching void, his soul laid bare in the silent plea for her life. The studioâs amber glow withers, a sinister shroud slithering over the mirrors, reflecting a distorted nightmare where light once danced, his heart a cavern of anguish pounding with a visceral terror that threatens to drown him in its depths, every beat a cry against the darkness closing in on them.Â
Her skin drains to a deathly pallor, lips bluing like frostbitten petals, her pulse a faint, erratic flutter beneath Jaeminâs touch, a dying heartbeat in a silent tomb. Her soft eyes, once ablaze with joy, dim to a lifeless glaze, the spark extinguished, the luminescence fading like a star swallowed by a black holeâs maw. A sudden, violent cough wracks her frail frame, thin rivulets of blood trickling from her mouth, a stark crimson smear against her innocence, a macabre signature of doom. Panic erupts, a live wire igniting chaos as Jaemin snaps into surgeon mode, his barking a gunshot: âAmbulance, now! Every second counts!â His hands pound into CPR, compressions a desperate drumbeat against the void, his voice fracturing into a wail.Â
Shotaro, frozen in shock, jolts into action, cradling her limp hand, his mantra trembling: âYouâre okay, sweetheart, weâre hereâŠâ But her stillness mocks the words, her giggles replaced by a chilling silence, the light draining like ink bleeding into darkness.
Between compressions, Jaemin leans in, whispering a broken prayer. âBreathe, sunshine. For Daddy, please breathe!â The room spirals into a nightmare, the pianoâs melody a dirge fading into a spectral moan, the rupture swallowing the light, leaving only the frantic, hopeless pulse of love and despair in its wake. Haeunâs vibrance is gone, her soul a shadow, the studio a mausoleum where joy once pirouetted, now cloaked in a thrillerâs gloom, the amber glow extinguished like a lantern snuffed in a storm-ravaged night.
A few blocks away, the afternoon drags with an unusual lethargy in the pit, the low thrum of monitors a deceptive lullaby humming through the sterile air, lulling you into a fragile calm. You lean against the counter, fingers absently breaking off pieces of a blueberry muffin, crumbs scattering across the surface as you sit beside Hyejin. Jihoon scrolls through patient lists across the desk, his brow furrowed, while Hayoung sips coffee nearby, the bitter aroma mingling with the faint antiseptic tang. Soft murmurs from the surrounding nurses drift like ghosts through the space, punctuated by the occasional distant page echoing down the halls, a rhythm youâve grown accustomed to, a heartbeat of the hospital.
Youâre mid bite, the muffinâs sweetness coating your tongue, when Dr. Lee Heeseung approaches, tall, his warm smile a beacon, confident yet unassuming. He scratches the back of his neck, glancing between you and Hyejin. âHey. I, uh⊠hope this isnât too forward,â he says, his voice hesitant but earnest. âWould you like to grab dinner sometime?âÂ
Your eyes widen, a jolt of surprise catching you off guard. You swallow hard, the muffin lodging in your throat. âOh. Uh⊠yeah. Yeah, sure,â you stammer, your cheeks flushing as his smile widens.
âPerfect. Iâll text you later?â he asks, and you nod, a nervous flutter igniting in your chest as he walks away.Â
Immediately, Hayoung leans in, grinning wickedly. âWord is, heâs got the hots for you.âÂ
Jihoon smirks, nudging your shoulder. âHeâs been trying to work up the nerve for weeks.â You laugh, a shaky sound, your stomach flipping with a mix of flattery and unease. Itâs sweet, a distraction you crave after months entombed in these walls and shadows. But beneath your ribcage, a weight presses, a secret you guard. Youâve never had sex, a virgin not from shame but from a fragile, private hesitation. Youâve dated, kissed, explored a little, but always stopped short, fear and the search for the right person holding you back. Lately, it feels heavier, like youâve outgrown your own rhythm, bypassed by time, the line uncrossed gnawing at you. Hayoung and Jihoon drift off to check a transport case, leaving you with Hyejin, picking at the muffin, staring at the half empty coffee cup as if it might confess the questions you dare not voice.
You sigh, the sound barely audible, your voice tentative as you turn to her. âHyejin, I need to tell you something. Itâs kind of big and confusing.âÂ
She lifts her head, her gaze steady. âYeah?âÂ
Your heart knocks against your sternum, words teetering on the edge. âHaeun keeps calling me âmama.ââ Her eyes widen, mouth parting to respond, but before she canâ
Chaos ignites like a bomb detonating. Shouts erupt, a sudden tidal wave crashing through the corridor, doctors sprinting like hunted prey, nurses scattering in a frenzied exodus. A page blares overhead, its urgency a gunshot: âTrauma team to peds. Code rapid response. Code rapid response.â Your breath snags, a vise clamping your lungs, as Dr. Huang bursts through the double doors, barking orders like a war general. And then, Dr. Na sprints beside Haeunâs rolling stretcher, his hand a lifeline gripping hers, the other clutching an oxygen mask over her gasping face. Her tiny frame convulses against the rails, flushed a deep, unnatural red, her sobs clawing through the hallway like shards of shattered glass. âDada! Dada! I scared!â she chokes, her voice cracking, wet gasps flecked with blood staining the mask, a crimson horror smeared across her innocence.Â
Dr. Naâs whisper is low, frantic, his voice splintering. âIâm here, sunshine. Keep breathing, baby. Youâre okay. Youâre okay.â Monitors shriek around them, a discordant symphony of beeps, the transport teamâs pace a desperate gallop. Her legs kick weakly, tears streaking her face like rain on a broken window, the sight is a dagger twisting in your gut. The muffin's remnants scatter like ashes, your body lurching toward them as if drawn by a magnetic pull. Her once-cute ballerina outfit, daisy-strewn tutu and satin slippers, is now a drenched shroud of blood, the white dove of her innocence defeated in the black swanâs first ruthless, murderous strike, its ebony wings poised for further carnage, the predator not yet sated. The studioâs light, once her sanctuary, has been extinguished, replaced by this grim tableau of tragedy.
Dr. Huangâs voice cuts through the haze, spotting you instantly. âYou! Scrub now!âÂ
Simultaneously, Dr. Naâs voice shatters the air. âGet inside. I need you there. Now!â Your chest heaves, a storm of adrenaline and dread, but you nod, following orders as they wheel her into pre-op. Wires snake across her chest like venomous tendrils, nurses moving with mechanical precision around you. Sheâs still conscious, but her light is fading, her eyes fluttering like a moth trapped in a dying flame. Dr. Na kneels beside her stretcher as long as protocol allows, his forehead pressed to hers, his whisper a desperate lifeline. âIâm right here, baby bird. Iâll be right here when you wake up. You are so strong. Daddyâs right outside. You fight, okay?âÂ
She sobs, her voice a fragile, quivering thread unraveling into the sterile air, each breath a labored plea that cuts deeper than any scalpel: âI jus wanna cuddle Dada, I wanna dance! I donât wanna fix boo boo!â Her words tremble with a childâs despair, her tiny chest heaving as tears spill from her dimming eyes, streaking through the blood matting her damp, tangled hair. The weight of her heartâs betrayal presses down on her, a silent thief stealing her joy, and her voice cracks with a sorrow that echoes the months of confinement, endless hospital beds, the cold sting of needles, the endless refrain of âbe carefulâ that chains her dreams. She buries her face into the stretcher, her sobs muffled but relentless, a heartbroken wail for the twirls sheâs lost, the freedom ripped away by the âboo booâ she canât escape, her spirit wilting under the shadow of a body that refuses to keep up.
Dr. Naâs lips quiver, a dam breaking as tears well up and spill over, tracing rivulets down his contorted face, his surgeonâs hands pausing mid-stroke on her blood-streaked hair. His anguished love is a palpable force, a fatherâs heart shattering as he whispers, âOh, sunshine, I know. Daddy wants you to dance too.â His voice breaks, thick with grief, his fingers trembling as they brush her forehead, trying to soothe the unsoothable. He leans closer, his forehead nearly touching hers, his breath hitching. âWeâll fix this boo boo, I promise, and youâll dance again, better than ever,â he lies, the words a desperate lifeline he clings to, though his eyes betray the fear that her heart might not hold. The mask of his professional calm slips, revealing a man undone, his tears falling onto her cheek as he chokes, âYouâre my strong girl, you can do thisâŠâ
Her sobs intensify, a raw, keening sound that pierces the room, her small hand clutching his with a weakening grip. âNo, Dada⊠boo boo too big! It hurty all da time.â Her voice rises, a crescendo of longing for the simple joys stolen by her condition, the playground slides sheâs watched from a window, the moonlit stories youâve whispered that now feel like cruel taunts, the ice cream treats sheâs only tasted in fleeting moments. Her body shudders, tears mixing with blood, her despair a tangible weight as she whimpers, âI donât wanna be sick no more⊠I jus wanna dance anâ be happyâŠâ The words dissolve into a heartbroken sob, her spirit fraying as she mourns the life her heart denies her, each dream a dagger in her fading light.
Jaeminâs tears fall faster, his hand cupping her face as he fights to hold back a sob of his own, his voice a ragged whisper. âSunshine, Iâd give anythingâanythingâfor you to play outside, to see the moon lady with you, to share that ice creamâŠâ His words falter, his throat tightening as he strokes her hair, his love a flood threatening to drown him. âWeâll fight this boo boo together, okay? Youâll dance again, I swear it, and Iâll be there clapping every step.â His voice cracks, a fatherâs promise breaking under the strain, his eyes glistening with the unbearable truth that her heart might not withstand the battle. He presses his lips to her forehead, tasting the salt of her tears and the metallic tang of blood, his anguish a silent scream as he murmurs, âDonât give up, baby bird⊠Daddy needs you to hold onâŠâ
Her cries soften into a pitiful whimper, her energy draining like sand through an hourglass, her hand slipping in his grasp. âDada⊠it too hard⊠I tired of boo boo⊠I wanna sing wif fwiends, I wanna draw pwetty pictures, I wanna hug Dada anâ never wet goâŠâ Her voice fades, a thread of sorrow weaving through her words, each desire, singing with Chaewon and Heejin, coloring with Niki, clinging to you, a lost melody she fears sheâll never play. Her eyes, once bright with dreams, dull with resignation, her small body slumping as if surrendering to the weight of her illness. âI jus wanna be a wittle girl⊠not a sick oneâŠâ she whispers, her sob a final, heartbreaking note, her spirit crushed under the relentless burden of her failing heart.
Jaeminâs breath catches, a choked sob escaping as he pulls her closer, his tears soaking into her hair, his voice a broken hymn. âYou are my little girl, sunshine, my perfect little girl⊠Weâll sing together, draw those pretty pictures, hug each other for as long as you want.!Iâll make it happen, I swear.â His words tremble, a fatherâs vow fracturing under the weight of her fading pulse, his hands shaking as he cradles her face. âDonât let go, baby. Fight for those dances, those hugs, those songs⊠Daddyâs here, Iâm not leaving you.â His love pours out, a torrent of grief and hope, but the shadow of her condition looms larger, her dreams slipping through his fingers like ash, his heart breaking with every labored breath she takes.
They call time to clear the room, the command slicing through the tense air like a guillotineâs fall, and Dr. Naâs hands cling to the stretcherâs side rails with a desperate, white-knuckled grip, refusing to let go until the last possible second. âYouâre my strong girl, sunshine. I love you,â he whispers, his voice a raw, trembling vow that cracks under the weight of his fear, his tear-streaked face hovering close as he pours every ounce of his love into her fading gaze. She reaches for him as the doors begin to slide shut, her tiny fingers clawing at the empty air, her sobs a haunting, broken melody that echoes down the sterile corridor long after sheâs wheeled beyond view, a sound that lingers like a ghost. He holds strong while her eyes can still find him, blowing desperate kisses with trembling lips and pressing his hands against the cold mirror of the door, a fatherâs shield until the final moment but the instant the doors seal with a hollow thud, his strength collapses. His knees buckle, his body slams back against the glass with a dull thud, silent sobs racking his frame as his head drops to his chest, shoulders heaving with the crushing weight of grief, the sterile silence amplifying his shattered heart.
Haeunâs frail voice trembles, a broken sob escaping as she clutches the stretcherâs rail, her blood-streaked face contorted with despair. âI wish Dada was here⊠I need Dada!â she cries, her words a piercing wail that reverberates off the sterile walls, her tiny chest heaving with each ragged breath. âDada! Pwease, Dada, come back! I scared!â she screams, her voice rising into a desperate shriek, tears streaming down her cheeks as she thrashes weakly, her pleas a heartbreaking echo of a child lost in a nightmare, calling for the father who can no longer reach her, the sound slicing through the chaos like a blade.
You approach the opposite side, your hand trembling as youâve been beside her this whole time, a silent sentinel through her torment, yet sheâs been too overwhelmed, drowned in panic and pain, to notice your presence, her tear-blurred eyes fixed on the sealed doors where Dr. a vanished. But then, as her sobs falter, her gaze stumbles upon you, a flicker of recognition piercing the haze, and her cries quiet to a soft, shuddering whimper. âMamaâŠâ she whispers, her voice a fragile thread, reaching for you with a blood-smeared hand, her eyes pleading for comfort. She leans toward you, craving your touch, her small body trembling as she sobs, âHug me, Mama⊠pwease, hold me tight,â her grip on your hand weakening but desperate, seeking the warmth and solace only you can offer in this moment of fading light.
Dr. Huangâs sharp glance slices toward you, his voice a blade cutting through the charged air. âMama?â he probes, his narrowed eyes boring into you with suspicion, a silent demand for explanation.Â
You meet his gaze, your tone steady despite the quake rattling your core. âSheâs just had an acute decompensation, she doesnât know what sheâs saying,â you assert, the lie tasting bitter on your tongue as you shield the truth. He doesnât press further, but his gaze lingers, a heavy question mark hanging in the antiseptic haze as nurses prep for intubation, their movements a grim dance around her fading form.
The operating theater pulses with a tense, electric hum as Dr. Huangâs voice cuts through the sterile air, sharp and unyielding. âSheâs hypoxic and decompensatingâacute left ventricular outflow tract obstruction with secondary pulmonary edema.â The words strike like thunderclaps, explaining the disoriented panic in Haeunâs earlier cries, her speech a muddled plea as oxygen starvation clawed at her brain. In a cruel twist, she developed a rapid, merciless progression of hypertrophic subaortic stenosis, a condition where her heartâs muscle thickened dangerously, triggered by residual scarring from past congenital repairs, abnormal tissue growth spiraling out of control. The outflow tract, the vital conduit from her heart to her body, has narrowed to a treacherous chokehold, strangling blood flow, while the strain has unleashed acute pulmonary edema, fluid flooding her lungs, the source of those blood-tinged coughs. Her fainting during that fateful ballet spin was a brutal betrayal, her heartâs output plummeting, unable to sustain her circulation under the exertion, plunging her into critical instability. The surgery must relieve this obstruction, or she teeters on the brink of long-term heart failure, a shadow looming over her fragile life.
The procedure, a modified septal myectomy, unfolds like a high-stakes drama under the harsh glare of surgical lights. Dr. Huang slices open her chest with a median sternotomy, the sternum cracking like brittle bone, revealing her tiny heart beating faintly, a valiant flicker against the odds. Dr. Huangâs skilled hands navigate the chaos, meticulously carving away the hypertrophied tissue from the subaortic region of her left ventricle, each cut a gamble with her life. He resects a portion of the ventricular septum, widening the outflow tract with grim precision, then stitches in a pericardial patch augmentation, a fragile shield to prevent re-narrowing as she grows. But the stakes are sky-high, her small heartâs delicate conduction pathways teeter on the edge of damage, risking deadly arrhythmias; the long bypass time stretches her fragile tissue to its limit; and blood pools heavily around the retractors, a crimson tide that the suction whines to combat, its shrill cry a constant underscore to the tension. Youâre scrubbed in beside Dr. Huang, your gloved hands steady but your soul quaking, watching her heart pulse weakly beneath the lights. In the corner, the bunny she gripped as they wheeled her in, now a pitiful relic, sits on a tray, its once-soft body soaked with her blood, its ears drooping under the weight of tragedy. Your gaze locks on it, a lump rising in your throat as you fight to hold your composure, the symbol of her innocence drowning in the gore.
Dr. Huangâs voice slices through your distraction, tight but unwavering. âGet me more exposure to the septum. Weâre cutting this closer than Iâd like.â He pauses, his eyes flicking to you, reading the turmoil etched across your face. âYouâre allowed to cry later, not now,â he says, a command laced with a rare flicker of empathy, urging you to steel yourself as the surgery teeters on a knifeâs edge. The room throbs with the rhythm of her faltering heart, the blood-streaked scene a stark tableau of her fight, the bunnyâs bloodied form a silent witness to the stakes.
In the hushed post-op room, as her vitals are stabilised with the ventilatorâs mechanical breath, Dr. Huang peels off his gloves with a slow, deliberate motion, the sound a somber drumbeat. âSheâs stable. We got what we needed,â he says softly, his tone blunt yet heavy, and you release a tight, shuddering breath, tears brimming but held at bay by sheer will. He watches you, his gaze softening with a cruel gentleness as he continues, âShe wonât be able to dance for the next year and thatâs me being generous, realistically, weâre looking at five years.â The words land like a sledgehammer, your throat burning with unshed tears as you nod quickly, blinking furiously while staring at Haeun under anesthesia. her tiny body still, her chest rising and falling with the ventilatorâs rhythm, a mechanical mockery of life. Your eyes dart to the bunny again, its ear half-soaked, fabric wrinkled beneath surgical gauze, a symbol of everything fragile and beautiful in her world now stained with blood, a heartbreaking reflection of her shattered dreams. Dr. Huang adds quietly, almost kindly, âDonât tell her yet.â His voice is a lifeline amidst the devastation, leaving you to grapple with the weight of her future in the sterile silence.
The on-call room envelops you in a dim, suffocating embrace hours after Haeunâs grueling surgery, the air heavy with the sharp bite of antiseptic and the lingering musk of sweat-soaked despair, a stark contrast to the sterile hope of the NICU where Dr. Na has been a steadfast sentinel, his hand wrapped around Haeunâs tiny fingers for hours since she emerged from the operating theater. Your pager buzzes with a sudden, jarring pulseâDr. Naâs name glowing on the screen, a cryptic summons pulling you from the vigil at her bedside. You push open the door, and the sight slams into you like a physical blow: Dr. Na paces the barren room, shirtless, his chiseled chest slick with a sheen of perspiration that catches the faint light, his hands pressed to his face as if to stifle a primal scream clawing at his throat. His usual fortress of clinical composure lies in jagged ruins, his broad shoulders quaking with a raw, unguarded vulnerability that robs you of breath, the weight of the day etched into every tense line of his body. âDr. Nana,â you whisper, your voice a tender balm against the oppressive silence, but he remains lost, eyes hidden behind trembling hands. âDr. Nana,â you try again, the nickname slipping out with an intimate, almost instinctive warmth, âpleaseâŠâ
His hands drop, revealing eyes red-rimmed and wild, his breath hitching as he staggers toward you, a man unraveling. âIâm locked out,â he rasps, his voice a broken growl, thick with desperation. âThe patient files, theyâve sealed them tight because of confidentiality rules, and Dr. Huang wonât breathe a word about the surgery. I have no idea whatâs happened, damn it! I need to know if itâs my fault, if itâs something I shouldâve seen. I need to know what they did to her, every cut, every risk. Please, tell me, you were there. You saw it. Iâm begging you, donât leave me in the dark.â His plea hangs heavy, a surgeonâs pride stripped bare, his hands clenched into fists as if he could force the truth from the void.
You step closer to Dr. Na, your voice steady but laced with the heavy echo of the operating theaterâs chaos, meeting his piercing gaze. His eyes, raw with a fatherâs dread, demand answers, every line of his face etched with the need to know. âDr. Na, I was there, every second of it,â you begin, your words deliberate, carrying the weight of the memory. âThey started with a median sternotomy, Dr. Huangâs scalpel sliced through her chest, her sternum cracking like dry wood, a sharp, jarring sound that cut through the roomâs sterile hum. Her tiny heart was exposed, beating faintly under the harsh surgical lights, struggling against the obstruction choking her blood flow.â
Dr. Na leans forward, his bare chest heaving, his voice a low, urgent rasp. âWho made the first cut? Huang himself? And what did he see when he opened her up? Tell me everythingâevery step, every hand on my baby girl.â His fingers grip the edge of the chair, knuckles white, his professional facade crumbling under the weight of his fear.
You nod, grounding yourself in the memory, the vivid horror of it. âDr. Huang made the initial incision, his hands were steady. When he split her sternum, blood welled up fast, her small body was already under strain from the hypertrophic subaortic stenosis. The left ventricleâs muscle had thickened dangerously, narrowing the outflow tract to a sliver, blocking blood to her body. He saw the hypertrophy right away, the septum bulging, choking off the I held the retractors, keeping the field clear as blood pooled all over her, the suction screaming to keep up.â
âWhat about the resection?â Dr. Na presses, his voice sharp, almost frantic. âWho cut the muscle? How much did they take? Did they hesitate?â His eyes bore into yours, searching for any omitted detail, his breath uneven.
âDr. Huang did the resection himself,â you continue, your voice steady despite the lump in your throat. âHe carved away the hypertrophied tissue from the subaortic region of her left ventricle, his scalpel technique was meticulous but trembling slightly, each cut was a gamble, the tissue was so close to her heartâs conduction pathways. He removed just enough of the ventricular septum to widen the outflow tract, maybe two centimeters of muscle, but it felt like he was defusing a bomb. I monitored the depth, calling out measurements to ensure he didnât cut too deep and trigger an arrhythmia. The risk was there, her heartâs electrical system was a hairâs breadth from disaster.â
Dr. Naâs face twists, a mix of relief and anguish. âAnd the patch? You said they sewed in a patchâwhat kind? Who placed it? Did it hold?â His questions come rapid-fire, his voice rising, a desperate edge to each word as if knowing every detail could somehow anchor him.
You swallow, the image of her fragile heart vivid in your mind. âDr. Huang placed a pericardial patch augmentation, using tissue harvested from her own pericardium. He stitched it into the outflow tract with 6-0 prolene sutures. I held the patch in place, making sure it aligned perfectly to prevent re-narrowing as she grew. It held, her pressures stabilized slightly after, but the bypass time was long, almost two hours, stretching her delicate tissue to the limit.â
âTwo hours?â Dr. Naâs voice cracks, his eyes wide with horror. âWhy so long? What went wrong? And the bleedingâhow bad was it? Did anyone panic?â He leans closer, his hands trembling now, the questions spilling out like a flood.
âThe bleeding was heavy,â you admit, your voice softening, the memory of the crimson tide burning into you. âHer small vessels were fragile, and the strain from the pulmonary edema made it worse, blood-tinged fluid kept seeping from her lungs. I managed the suction, keeping the field clear, but it was a fight. The suction machineâs whine was relentless but no one panicked. The tension was electric, Dr. Huang snapped orders, he was on edge.âÂ
Dr. Naâs gaze drops, his voice a rough whisper. âWhereâs her bunny? Did you see it?â His question catches you off guard, a flicker of vulnerability breaking through his barrage of technical demands.
You hesitate, the image of that blood-soaked relic searing your mind. âShe clutched it as they wheeled her in. It ended up on a tray, too close to the field, it got soaked in her blood, its ears drooping, stained red. I couldnât look at it without feeling her fragility, her innocence drowning in that gore.â
He sways, his face crumpling, but he pushes forward, relentless. âThe risksâarrhythmias. Did her heart falter? Did they shock her? Who was watching her vitals?â His voice is raw, a fatherâs terror clashing with his surgical mind.
âHer vitals were Dr. Parkâs domain,â you say, meeting his gaze. âThe anesthesiologist watched her like a hawk, tracking every dip in her rhythm. There was a momentâher heart fluttered into ventricular tachycardia when Huang cut near the conduction bundle. They didnât shock her, but Dr. Park pushed lidocaine fast, and I adjusted the bypass to stabilize her. It was close, her heart was so weak, the pulmonary edema flooding her lungs didnât help. They were fighting on two fronts: the obstruction and her failing circulation.â
Dr. Naâs breath hitches, his eyes glistening. âHow close did we come to losing her? Be honest. And why didnât anyone see this coming? The stenosis, how did it get so bad?â His voice breaks, the guilt heâs carried spilling over.
You step closer, your hand hovering near his arm, aching to ease his pain. âWe were right on the edge, Dr. Na. The bleeding, the long bypass, the risk of cutting her conduction pathwaysâit was a knifeâs edge. But they pulled her through. As for whyâher hypertrophic stenosis spiraled fast, triggered by scar tissue from her old congenital repairs, worsened by the exertion of that ballet spin. No one couldâve predicted it; the growth was silent until it wasnât. Youâve fought for her every day, given her every chance, this isnât your fault.â Your voice trembles with urgency, pleading with him to let go of the guilt, your eyes locked on his, begging him to believe.
He stares at you, his chest rising and falling, his questions spent but the weight of them lingering. âThank youâ he murmurs. âI needed every detail, I wouldâve gone insane without it.â The room feels heavy, the memory of her faltering heart and the bloodied bunny a stark tableau of the fight, his love for her etched into every desperate question. He sinks to his knees, a guttural sob tearing from his throat, his hands raking through his hair. âShe was doing so well,â he chokes out, the words a lament for the daughter heâs poured his soul into.Â
You cross the room quietly, your footsteps a soft rhythm against the tension, your voice low but firm, a lifeline cast into his despair. âI know.â
Silence pulses between you, a heavy heartbeat, before you speak again, your tone a fervent prayer. âSheâll pull through. Sheâs strong because you made her strong.â Your words hang, a fragile hope in the dimness, and his head lifts, eyes glistening with unshed tears.
His voice shatters, a raw confession spilling forth. âIâI gave her that heart. I shouldâve protected it.â The admission is a wound, his guilt a living thing twisting in his chest, his hands clenching as if to claw it out.
You reach out instinctively, your hand settling on his bare shoulder, the warmth of his skin anchoring you both, a silent vow thrumming in your touch. For a long moment, you just stay like that, your palm pressed to the tense line of his collarbone, thumb unconsciously tracing the salt-and-skin warmth, feeling the rapid stutter of his pulse beneath your fingertips, a rhythm you feel as if itâs your own. âYouâve protected her for every second since she was born,â you murmur, your voice almost reverent, your fingers lingering, mapping the knots in his muscles as if you could absorb some of his ache. It feels like the only way to cross the distance between your wounds.
Something shifts in the air, something too tender to name. The professional veneer slips, exposing all the rawness beneath: the man, not just the doctor. Your hand is still there, grounding him, bridging the unspoken grief you both carry. You hesitate, searching his face for a flicker of permission, then let the question slip, intimate, almost confessional. âHer mother⊠has she ever tried to reach out? Since that day?â The memory stings, the day she stormed through the ward, tearing Haeunâs blankets to shreds, snapping her music box in two, her voice wild and broken while Haeun shrank in your arms, trembling. Your voice is a hush, heavy with worry, curiosity, and a hunger to understand the story that still haunts your baby girlâs sleep.
His jaw flexes, a tremor flickering through his throat, eyes darting to yours, dark and restless, storm clouds gathering behind them. âNo. Not once. After that night, she vanished.â The words land heavy between you, weighted with all thatâs gone unsaid. He sinks into the chair, the strength bleeding from his shoulders, leaving him raw and spent. For a moment, he scrubs a hand across his face, then lets it fall, his knuckles white against the armrests as if he might splinter the wood. âI hear things,â he admits, voice shaking before he forces it steady, the mask of control slipping and reforming with every word. âShe floats in and out of clinics, always unstable. Some say sheâs in Thailand now, others whisper about debt, men, pills. Iâve tried to track her, only because I have to be ready. If she ever tries to come for Haeun, for custody, for anything. I canât risk being blindsided.â His words simmer with quiet, helpless rage; his hands tremble where they grip the chair, knuckles blanching, the barely-contained violence of a father whoâs had to become both shield and sword. The fear thrums beneath his voice, a need to be prepared for every shadow that might threaten the fragile world heâs built around Haeun.
âMy biggest regret was ever touching her. But how do you regret the one thing that gave you your child?â His voice fractures, carrying the weight of a thousand sleepless nights. His eyes lock onto yours, haunted, searching, almost desperate for a kind of forgiveness he knows he doesnât deserve. He breathes in sharply, shoulders shuddering beneath your touch, the barriers between you falling away one by one. He drags a trembling hand through his hair, jaw working, the words coming from some place deeper than shame. âSome nights,â he whispers, âI hate myself for ever letting Aseul close to me. I replay it, over and over, the nine months she carried my daughter without me knowing I had a baby, my sunflower, my whole fucking world, but she treated her like a problem, an inconvenience. I canât forgive myself for giving Haeun to someone who only ever wanted to hurt her.â He shakes his head, tears bright in his lashes. âIâll never know what happened in those months, what she went through, what she survived. All I know is she was born into neglect, left to die in the cold on a hospital rooftop, abandoned before she even had a chance to live. That tells me everything I need to know about her mother. Everything.â
He pauses, voice dropping lower, almost confessional. âAnd yet, this is the worst part, the part I canât say out loud to anyone elseâIâm still⊠glad it happened. Iâm fucking grateful for that mistake. I hate myself for it, but if I hadnât fucked her, I wouldnât have my sunshine, my Haeun. Sheâs the reason I can breathe. She saved me before I ever even knew I needed saving. And thatâs selfish, because she was brought into this world broken, with a heart that can barely beat, all because two adults were careless and cruel.â His confession hangs between you, raw and vulnerable, a truth heâs never voiced.
You donât interrupt, you canât. The gravity of his words pulls you closer, your hand tightening on his shoulder, feeling the tremors running through him. Your chest aches, a tangled knot of protectiveness, jealousy, and something quieter but more consuming. Thereâs a conviction lodged somewhere deep inside you, fragile and stubborn all at once: that blood may tie Haeun to Aseul, but she feels like yours, in all the ways that matter. Sheâs been shaped by your devotion, soothed by your hands, clinging to you when the world turns too dark. You know it, you feel it in every moment she reaches for you first, in the way she curls into your arms at night, in the whispered âmamaâ when sheâs scared. Still, itâs not a truth you can claim out loud, not a certainty you dare to demand, only a hope that pulses in your heart, shy and unsteady, waiting for the day youâre strong enough to believe youâre truly hers.
âSheâs alive,â you breathe, your voice the closest thing to grace you can offer, lips brushing his skin, âand youâve given her a life she never would have had. You saved her. You still save her, every single day.â Your words are a gentle tether, anchoring him to the present, to hope, your thumb tracing slow circles into his skinâa silent promise that neither of you are alone in this grief, or in this love. You hesitate, voice trembling as you let the thought slip outâhalf confession, half plea. âImagine if sheâd stayed with Aseul. Would she even know how to smile like that? Would she have all this softness, all that light?â Your chest tightens as you picture it: Haeun growing up in a world stripped of lullabies and safe hands, never learning how to be gentle or brave or to love without fear. âShe could have been just another lost little girlâneglected, alone, maybe left on the street, or worse. But now sheâs our sunshine girl. Sheâs loved, really loved, and she gives it back with every inch of her body. Maybe thatâs why sheâs so bright, why she keeps fighting because she was always meant to find us.â
Heâs silent for a moment, your hand still pressed into the tense warmth of his skin. Then his voice drops, as if admitting something even he doesnât want to hear himself say. âIâve never said this out loud before, but Iâve always had a gut feeling thereâs more to Haeunâs condition than whatâs on the surface. Doctors like to say babies are born this way by chance, that itâs just bad luck, butâŠâ His fingers tighten around yours, a tremor running through him. âI donât believe it's by chance. Iâve seen too much, prenatal scans, tiny anomalies that shouldnât line up, defects that look less like a roll of the dice and more like a wound.â
He shakes his head, struggling for the right words. âAseul was different when I first met her. On the outside, she looked healthy, bright, clever, normal, even. But underneath, there was something else. Something fraying. Leaving Haeun on that rooftop, coming back to the hospital and trying to hurt her, tearing her blankets, smashing her music box, that wasnât her. Or at least, not the version of her I thought I knew.â His voice falters, low and raw. âIâm certain she has an underlying illness, maybe schizophrenia, maybe bipolar disorder, maybe something Iâve never even named. Iâll never know for sure. Sometimes I wonder if she used drugs, alcohol, or smoked when she was carrying my baby. There are signs, subtle withdrawal symptoms, tremors when she was born, the way her liver enzymes were off, the cardiac scarring that doesnïżœïżœt fit the usual genetic pattern. I keep seeing traces in her labs and her scans, like her bodyâs been fighting since before she even took her first breath. I remember Aseulâs pills, the lies. I remember seeing bruises beneath her makeup, the nights sheâd vanish and come back smelling of smoke and liquor. I wanted to believe she was clean, but I think I was just a fucking idiot.â His words crack open a wound, old but still bleeding.
He looks up at you, eyes glassy with pain and urgency. âThereâs no way Haeun was born like this without cause. The world says itâs fate, but my gut tells me itâs the kind of pain that gets passed down, molecule by molecule. I need to know. I have to know every piece of her history if Iâm going to protect her future.â His voice grows harder, edged with a cold clarity. âIf that woman ever comes back, if she tries to claim Haeun, I need proof that sheâs unfit. Iâll burn every bridge before I let her hurt my daughter again.â He exhales, still trembling, but now thereâs a fire burning beneath the grief. âAnd itâs more than that. If I can prove her condition wasnât just genetics, but abuse in the wombâif we have evidenceâHaeun could be moved up in priority for medical trials. There are new surgeries, treatments, transplants. If sheâs not just another unlucky statistic, if sheâs a survivor of what happened to her, she has a better chance. She could actually get better.â He looks at you, voice fierce now, almost pleading for your understanding. âAnd Iâm a surgeon. I canât let things go unsolved, not when itâs my child. I need to know the truth. For her, for me, for whatever comes next. Because if we donât, weâre always going to be looking over our shoulders, waiting for the past to come back.â He falls quiet, the confession hanging between you, frightening, galvanizing, and true. Your fingers slip down his arm, steadying him as best you can, feeling the weight of his conviction seep into your bones.
The conversation clings to you long after the hospital has quieted, lingering in your bones like fever. You lie awake in the on-call room, staring at the ceiling, replaying every word Dr. Na saidâhis suspicion, his guilt, the ache in his voice. It isnât just worry anymore; itâs a compulsion, something sharp and hungry burrowing under your skin. Eventually, you give up on sleep altogether, sliding out of bed and making your way through the dim, humming hallways. Your badge clicks softly against your chest as you slip into the records room, the scent of paper and old toner grounding you, a solitary sentinel in the blue-lit dark. You start at the only place you can, Haeunâs chart, beginning with her first days of life. No prenatal records, no motherâs notes, nothing of her before she entered the world except whatâs been written by strangers and nurses on call. You piece through birth admission sheets and neonatal assessments, fingers steady as you trace the pattern of her early days: the liver enzyme spikes, unexplained bouts of jaundice, nursesâ notes that paint a picture of a baby who never really settled. âPersistent tremors.â âDifficult to console at feeds.â âSweats through onesiesâmonitor for withdrawal.â All these tiny red flags, scattered through the margins of her file, never enough to form a clear diagnosis, but together, they thrum with warning.
Your mind, sharp and relentless, begins to connect the dots. You flip through every growth chart, plot her weight against hospital admission dates, and notice the subtle dips after each discharge. You recall a paper you read in med school about neonatal opioid withdrawal, another about the correlation between alcohol use in pregnancy and certain types of congenital heart disease. You print out case studies in the hospital library and annotate them furiously, drawing links between her symptoms and the kind of fetal exposure no one wants to believe. You scan the pharmacy logs, what she was given, how her body responded. There are whispers in the margins: doses adjusted, withdrawal protocols started and stopped, lab values double-checked in the quiet of the night. You revisit every toxicology screen done at birth, combing through lab reports, emailing old contacts to double-check the chain of custody on the blood draws. When the answers donât fit, you push harder, hunting through old messages, digging up vaccine records from her first pediatric clinic, pretending youâre confirming routine care when youâre really listening for anything odd: a note about a âguardian unknown,â a phone number that never answered, a check-up missed.
Memory becomes your greatest ally. You remember things others dismissed, a night nurse whispering, âShe never stopped trembling,â or a resident remarking, âHer growth curveâs always behind.â In the quietest hours, you lay out her charts and trace the patterns with your finger, seeing what others missed: the steady decline, the way every new illness seemed to take more from her than it should, as if she was always working from a deficit. You lose yourself in textbooks, online journals, discussion boards where pediatric cardiologists debate the rarest risk factors. You send anonymous case descriptions to doctors across the world, crafting careful summaries to spark their theories. You absorb everything, clinical trials on in-utero stress, emerging research on environmental factors, interviews with specialists whose words echo in your head long after you close your laptop.
With every sleepless night, every carefully logged data point, the picture sharpens. Haeunâs symptoms become a grim mosaic: withdrawal-like signs, unexplained liver function, stunted growth, and the telltale scarring of her heart, a pattern matching what youâve now read about fetal toxic exposure. You gather every fragment into a growing file, a secret dossier built from evidence and obsession, a tapestry that is both damning and undeniable. Your drive becomes a kind of prayer, a plea to the universe that if you can just prove this, maybe you can finally protect her. Maybe you can fight for a future where she isnât just a diagnosis, or a tragedy, or a case to be forgotten. Each night you return to the records room, hunting for the next piece, every detail another thread in the web youâre spinning, because this is your daughter, and you will not let the world, or the past, or the ghosts of Aseul, write the end of her story.
By the time dawn stains the hospital windows, youâve assembled a private dossierâevery chart, lab report, discharge note, and half-forgotten observation, each page marked with your questions and emerging theories. You hold the growing file close, resisting the urge to share it too soon, unwilling to let hope or fear cloud your judgment. You know this isnât just about gathering evidence; every detail must be cross-checked, every pattern proven beyond a shadow of doubt. So you guard it, meticulous and patient, determined to verify every piece before you bring it to Dr. Naâbecause when you finally lay these findings in his hands, you want the truth to be undeniable, a weapon and a shield for Haeunâs future.

Two months slip by in the fluorescent hush of the hospital, the outside world blurring to a distant hum beyond rain-streaked windows. Days bleed together in the soft blue hours between shift changes, punctuated only by the relentless beeping of monitors and the squeak of nursesâ shoes on polished linoleum. Haeunâs room, once temporary, becomes a fragile, makeshift kingdom, a fortress lined with sun-faded drawings, wilted carnations crowding the window ledge, and a growing menagerie of sticker charts taped to the wall. Each morning, she wakes in the same bed, tangled in blankets with cartoon bunnies, her bunny clutched tightly to her chest. The traces of home Jaemin has tried to bring her, her favorite yellow mug, her ballet slippers tucked in the corner, her name scrawled in marker on a faded hospital whiteboard, do little to ward off the sense of exile that clings to every surface. In the softest light, you catch glimpses of her old joy: a sleepy smile as you press a kiss to her forehead, the giggle she gives when a nurse stumbles over her âbubba bunny,â the way she tries to line up her stickers in a perfect row each morning, determined to fill the chart by herself. But even these bright moments feel delicate, borrowed, as if one wrong move might shatter the fragile world youâre trying to hold together.
At first, hope flutters in the quiet hours after surgery. Haeunâs cheeks regain color, her appetite flickers back, and she starts demanding stories again, climbing into your lap with a book, demanding you do the voices âlike Dada does.â For a handful of days, you and Dr. Na dare to imagine normalcy, clinging to each small milestone: the first time she sits up in bed by herself, the first time she laughs at a cartoon, the first time she makes it through the night without needing oxygen. Nurses sneak her extra grapes and animal crackers; you stretch out on the foot of her bed, reading aloud while she braids your fingers around her bunnyâs ears. She insists on showing every new nurse how to braid properly, demonstrating on bunny, serious as any surgeon in the room. Dr. Na is always there, charting quietly at her bedside, fixing her blanket, learning the rhythm of her medicine schedule by heart. Yet the reprieve is fragile. Hope becomes superstition: youâre afraid to speak it aloud, afraid that by acknowledging it, youâll break the spell.
But then the news comes, a slow, creeping dread blooming in the silence between check-ups. It starts with an echo, a little turbulence the tech almost misses but flags for review. The next MRI is less forgiving, its grainy images revealing scarring at the edge of the aortic root, hints of tissue threatening to regrow. You overhear Dr. Huangâs hushed conversation with Dr. Na at the end of the hall, their voices serious and low, punctuated by the occasional silence that hangs heavy as thunder. Dr. Naâs back is rigid, his shoulders squared, every line of him drawn taut as a wire. Dr. Huangâs words are gentle but unyielding: âWeâre catching it early, but sheâll need another surgery. More extensive this time. Patch augmentation, to keep it from returning.â Dr. Na doesnât speak for a long time, just stands with his hands pressed flat to the wall, as if bracing himself against the weight of the world. You watch from down the corridor, helpless, as the reality settles in his posture, a quiet collapse, seen only by the fluorescent lights and the ghosts of every parent whoâs stood in his place. Haeun doesnât understand the details; all she wants to know is, âCan I bring bunny, Dada? Can bunny come too?â Her voice is so small that it cracks something open in both men.
Talk of complications circles in the background: conduction issues, the faint specter of arrhythmiasâpossibilities that loom larger at night, when the halls are quiet and your thoughts run wild. Hospital routine becomes your new orbit. You and Dr. Na haunt the nursesâ desk with silent questions, refilling coffee mugs, obsessing over charts and progress notes, always waiting for the next update. Nurses start to call you âthe regulars,â their smiles both sympathetic and sad. You memorize the rhythm of vitals checks and medication rounds, know which techs are gentle with her IVs, which aides bring the best stories at bedtime. Dr. Na becomes a fixture, rarely leaving Haeunâs side for more than an hour; he paces her room like a sentinel, charting with one eye always on her, brushing hair from her forehead with trembling fingers when he thinks no one is watching.
Haeun, your little sun, is changed by the passing days. Even at two, her resilience starts to show its limits. Sheâs still stubbornâstill insists on brushing her own teeth, on picking her own pajamas, on telling anyone who listens, âNo more pokes! I donât want any more!â But her fire dims; she tires more easily, loses her appetite, her hair thins from the strain. You see her standing at the window, hospital gown slipping off her shoulder, pressing her small hand against the glass to watch cars below, her leotard bunched up in her fist like a broken promise. She never asks about ballet anymore, but sometimes, when she thinks youâre not looking, you see her eyes linger on the recital poster taped to the wall. She traces the tiny shoes with her fingertip, her lips moving as if reciting lines from a story she canât quite remember. âMaybe when Iâm bigger, Dada. Maybe when my heart get better.â The words twist in your chest, as sharp and relentless as the ache in her eyes. Dr. Na kneels beside her, arms wrapped around her small frame, whispering promises he canât be sure he can keep. âYouâre my strong girl, sunshine. Weâll dance together again. I promise, I promise.â She leans into him, face buried in his shoulder, bunny clutched tight between them.
Nurses do everything they canâsticker charts, animal-shaped pancakes, bedside puppet shows, a parade of soft toys and coloring books. For a while, it helps. Haeun gives them polite smiles, musters giggles for the silly ones, lets them braid her hair and tie ribbons on bunnyâs ears. But by nightfall she grows quiet, curling on her side around bunny, refusing the lullabies and stories that once soothed her. When you come in late, you find her staring at the ceiling, wide-eyed and silent, the weight of the day pressing her into the mattress. Sometimes, she sits up to watch the door, asking softly, âMama, you stay, right? You donât go home?â You promise her, every time, âIâm right here, baby. I always come back.â But some nights she wakes from dreams you canât touch, reaching for you in the dark, her sobs muffled in the crook of your arm.
One night, long after the ward has settled, you wander past the playroom and pause in the doorway. Haeun is there, curled up in the corner beneath the fairy lights, bunny in her arms. She rocks gently, her voice a lullaby too old and too young at once: âDonât be scared, bunny. Mama always comes back. Mama always comes back.â The sight shatters something in youâher small form dwarfed by the shadows, comforting her toy with the same words she needs for herself. You stand there, hands trembling, unable to move for fear the moment might dissolve if you step closer.

The weeks bleed together in a frenzy of secrecy and adrenaline, your life shrinking to the size of chart folders, text alerts, and the soft hiss of printers after midnight. Dr. Na is relentless, his obsession blazing through every professional barrierâlocked out of the EMR, flagged as a conflict, barred from the operating theatre except as a grieving parent. He fights with Dr. Huang in the hallway, voices pitched low but seething, a storm of controlled rage. âSheâs my daughter, not just another case,â he hisses.Â
Dr. Huang only shakes his head, jaw set, a wall of authority that brooks no argument. But Dr. Na refuses to yield; his obsession crackles through every line of his body. The day youâre officially assigned under Dr. Huangâs service for Haeunâs follow-up, he waits for you at the nursesâ station, eyes fever-bright with urgency and something you canât quite name. His voice is low but commanding, pitched for your ears alone. âGet me everything. Every echo report, every post-op note, every cardiac cath, even the bad scans. Everything.â He leans in, the world shrinking to the space between youâhis hand braced on the counter beside yours, so close you feel his knuckles brush your skin, the scent of his aftershave a pulse in the air. You hesitate, heart racing, the risk thrumming through you, but his desperationâraw and fierceâpulls you under. âAnd make sure Dr. Huang doesnât catch you, or else weâre both in deep shit,â he adds, his breath hot at your ear, a warning and a promise in one. You nod, pulse hammering, and in that moment, the two of you step quietly into a world made of stolen time and whispered secrets, a labyrinth where danger feels like a dare.
Youâre squeezed together in a storage closet later that night, shoulders pressed, your back flat against the cool metal shelves. Heâs so close you can feel every shift of muscle beneath his scrubs, the heat radiating from his body as he leans over you, his chest brushing yours when he reaches up to snag a folder from the top shelf. The air is tight, oxygen sharp and thin, your breaths mixing as you whisper about chart numbers and scan resultsâyour voices little more than shared tremors in the dark. Suddenly, a door rattles, footsteps halting just outside; his hand snaps over your mouth, palm hot and trembling, your lips trapped beneath his skin. You both go utterly still, breathes caught, his body pinning you back so hard you feel his heartbeat through your chest. Dr. Huangâs voice drifts just feet away, talking with a nurseâmundane words with the power to destroy everything.Â
Dr. Naâs body goes rigid, tension coiled so tight it nearly hurts. His lips graze your ear as he murmurs, âDonât move.â The words spark down your spine, every nerve on fire as you nod minutely, held captive in the space between danger and want. When the footsteps fade, he doesnât moveâdoesnât even look away. His hand lingers at your mouth, his thumb tracing your jaw with slow, absent pressure. You stare at each other in the dark, the unspoken buzzing and swelling between you, something hungry and electric filling the air. Finally, his hand slips away, but his body stays close, breath mingling with yours as if neither of you wants to be the first to break the spell.
You start sneaking into file rooms late at night, your heart thrumming as you slip past custodians and after-hours staff. Thereâs always someone half-asleep at the charting desk, but youâve learned their breaks, timing your missions for when the halls are deserted. You log into EMR terminals under the harsh blue glare of empty workstations, eyes gritty with exhaustion as you scroll through raw data, scanning for anomalies. Sometimes you print out ten, fifteen pages at a time, shoving them deep in your bag before anyone can see. There are nights when you duck into stairwells to catch your breath, phone buzzing with a cryptic textââ3rd floor stairwell. 7:15.â âNorth wing conference room. after rounds.â âCardiology archives. now.â Each message is a command; you obey without thinking, adrenaline making your hands shake as you run through hallways, clutching manila folders to your chest like state secrets.
Some days the tension between you is a living thing, slinking through the corridors and trailing your shadows as you chase one another from lab to lounge, from copy room to cardiac bay. Thereâs a science to every riskâa handoff in a narrow supply closet, your bodies pressed too close for the sake of secrecy, his hips pinning you to the cold shelves as you pass him a folded sheaf of test results. Voices drift closer, a cluster of nurses laughing outside, and instead of pulling away he leans in, mouth by your ear, the heat of his chest searing through your scrubs as you both wait, hardly daring to breathe. Sometimes, youâre both giddy and careless, tripping over each otherâs shoes on the stairs, giggling with adrenaline as he shoves you behind him when a nurse rounds the corner, his hand on your waist, his back shielding you as he smoothly pretends to help you search for a âmissing form.â Itâs protection, but itâs also a test: when your nerves fray and your words spill out in panicked whispersââwhat if we missed something, what if someone sees?ââhe clamps a hand around your wrist, pulling you flush against his side, so close your heart pounds into his shoulder.Â
Once, after a too-close call with a suspicious intern, you try to slip away, but he pins you with one hand against the door, his other palm splayed flat to your chest, holding you steady until your frantic breathing slows and matches his. There are softer moments, too, buried in the chaos: his fingers slide up to your throat, feeling for your pulse beneath your skinâan excuse to check if youâre calm, but really just needing to touch you, to feel you alive and real. In the locker room before surgery, you tie his mask for him, your fingers lingering at the nape of his neck, your touch too gentle, the air thick with everything unsaid. Sometimes, as you pore over labs together, he catches a stray lock of hair and tucks it behind your ear, his palm cupping your cheek, thumb tracing the corner of your mouthâhis eyes dark and searching, lingering too long until a voice in the hall jolts you both and he drops his hand, too quick, leaving your skin tingling. Itâs become a game of shared secrets played in plain sight: he murmurs instructions or warnings in your ear, lips grazing the shell, his breath making your skin burn and your stomach flip; across the nursesâ station, you mouth âlater,â and he catches it instantly, grinning slow and wolfish, the kind of grin that promises youâll find each other again, no matter who or what stands in your way.
You become a kind of codependent ecosystem, he tells you exactly what to ask for from Dr. Huangâs team, how to word emails to the lab so no one suspects. Heâs a dictionary in motion, rattling off acronyms, medication doses, journal citations, his mind a whirlwind you struggle to keep pace with. Youâve spent entire nights with your knees pressed together under the small conference table, both of you squinting at the glow of your laptop, pages of scrawled notes between you, his knuckles grazing yours every time he points to a section in the file. The tension grows sharper, more intimate: sometimes youâre so close your breath fogs the same glass window, voices barely above a whisper, neither of you willing to move away. Once, he traces a finger over your hand where youâve written a lab value in Sharpie, his touch fleeting but electric, a wordless thank you neither of you dares speak aloud.
The hospital itself becomes your maze. You learn every shortcut, every broken badge reader and out-of-service lift. You know which nurses gossip, which ones turn a blind eye, which aides will distract security just long enough for you to slip into the records room unnoticed. You run down hallways with files stuffed inside oversized hoodies, nearly colliding with gurneys, ducking into on-call rooms to catch your breath. There are nights when you laugh, exhausted and giddy, sliding papers across tables like youâre in a spy movie. You lean into OR windows, mouthing updates to Dr. Na as he scrubs out, fingers drawing invisible numbers in the fog. He raises an eyebrow, sometimes rolling his eyes, but always lingers just long enough to catch your meaning. The tension simmers between you, sometimes playful, sometimes so sharp you feel it in your teeth.
The hospital staff canât help but notice. Nurses start to gossip, the pediatric unit thick with whispersâsomething about the way you and Dr. Na orbit each other, the late-night coffee runs, the way you seem to always know exactly where heâll be. There are jokes about your cat-and-mouse game: âCareful, or sheâll steal your charts next!â âWatch out, Dr. Naâs shadowâs coming through.â Sometimes, you tease him under your breath, letting frustration slip into banter: âAnything else, Dr. Na? Want me to check her entire genome while Iâm at it?â He smirks, eyes glinting with pride and something darker. âIf you could, Iâd ask you to.â Each exchange blurs the line furtherâprofessional boundaries dissolving, replaced by something messier and far more dangerous.
You both become reckless, addicted to the secrecy and adrenaline, more reliant on each other with every passing shift. You text at all hoursâsometimes just a question about a lab value, sometimes a line of vented panic or a plea for reassurance. Thereâs a night when you collapse beside him in the supply closet, clutching your sides from laughing too hard after a close call with a suspicious nurse, your forehead pressed to his shoulder, the world spinning. Another day, he catches you after you nearly drop a folder in the stairwell, steadying you with both hands on your waist for a beat too long, the air charged and heavy.
Somehow, even with exhaustion, the game goes on. You hand him a coffee with a coded message scrawled under the sleeveââEcho at 3pm, see me.â He returns the favor by sliding an extra set of scrubs into your locker, a folded note tucked inside: âBe careful. I need you to stay awake tonight.â Sometimes you trade reports in the parking lot at shift change, headlights flickering across your faces like a movie scene. You spend lunch breaks pretending to discuss patient cases when really youâre dissecting Haeunâs latest labs, heads bent together over your trays, speaking in a shorthand only you two understand.
All the while, the rest of your life narrows to the hospitalâs pulse and Dr. Naâs orbit. Sleep becomes optional, meals an afterthought, your body humming with adrenaline and longing. You get better at hiding the bruises on your shins from late-night sprints, the ink stains on your wrists from frantic note-taking, the way your hands shake when the pressure gets too high. You find yourself thinking about him at odd hours, replaying the way his voice drops when he says âthank you,â the rare but devastating smile when something in the data gives him hope, the way he looks at youâfull of pride, fear, gratitude, and something deeper youâre scared to name.
Then, just as your partnership verges on uncontainable, the world tilts. During morning rounds, Dr. Lee Heeseung, the same fellow who first asked you out when Haeun was admitted, joins you and Dr. Na at the computer pod, his smile soft, eyes bright with something almost shy. He waits until youâre discussing Haeunâs updated med list, then quietly, boldly, asks if youâd like to get dinner after shift. You agree, half out of genuine affection, half to prove to yourself you still have a life outside these walls, and maybe to distract yourself from the gravity well of Dr. Naâs presence. The nurses catch wind of it immediately, whispering and grinning behind their hands. Dr. Na says nothing as Heeseung walks away, but you catch the edge in his voice, the way his eyes flicker, a muscle jumping in his jaw.
The dates with Heeseung are nice, easy, unhurried, a welcome contrast to the tension of your secret world. You talk about everything but medicine: bad music, favorite foods, childhood games, the kinds of things youâve forgotten how to share. Thereâs no pressure for anything physical, but you feel it building, an anxiety made sharper by the knowledge youâve never crossed that line before. Still, itâs something to look forward toâa reminder that youâre more than just a vessel for someone elseâs crisis. And yet, youâre never truly free of Dr. Naâs gravity. One night, he catches you and Heeseung laughing together near the vending machines, his eyes narrowing just for a moment, a flicker of something wild and possessive passing over his face. He smirks, rolling his eyes when you glance his way, and you know heâll find a way to tease you for it later, some biting, quiet remark behind a closed door, a pointed joke at the nursesâ station, a challenge masked as a dare. Underneath all of it, the tension growsâsharper, needier, and just one secret away from shattering.

The fluorescent lights buzz low in the empty on-call room, shadows thrown sharp across the cluttered desk and half-unmade cot. Itâs late, so late the halls outside have quieted to a hush, the world shrinking to the static in your ears and the sweat prickling down your spine. Youâre tired, the kind of tired that makes your skin ache, but thereâs adrenaline in your veins as you push the door open, file clutched so tightly the corners curl beneath your fingertips. The air is thick, heavy with secrets, and Dr. Na barely looks up from his notes as you step inside, his posture loose and easy, as if heâs been waiting for you all night.
You slam the folder onto the desk, the paper fanning out, and the sharp sound cuts the silence. Your hand lingers on top, knuckles white. âHere. Again.â Your voice is flat, bracing, but underneath it is an edge, resentment, exhaustion, need. The room smells of coffee and his cologne, something crisp and dark that sinks into your lungs and settles low in your belly. Dr. Naâs gaze drags slowly up your body, lazy and unapologetic, and when your eyes meet, thereâs nothing gentle in his expression. Only hunger, calculation, and the faintest glint of amusement.
âYouâre very efficient,â he drawls, not bothering to hide the smirk as he leans back in the chair, one leg crossed over the other, hands folded in his lap as if this is all a game heâs already won. Heâs so close, too closeâyour bodies separated by a narrow slice of space, tension stretching thin and brittle between you. You swallow hard, every nerve alight. Heâs always like this when youâre alone, no mask, no distance, just that dark and unflinching focus, as if heâs trying to see through you, right down to your bones.
âDonât.â The word cracks out of you, sharper than you intended, your voice thick. âDonât do that, donât act like this is easy.â You push your hair out of your face with shaking fingers, anger blooming hot and electric. âIâve been running around this damn hospital like your fucking assistant for weeks, and you havenât thanked me once.â Your breath comes in quick, uneven bursts, cheeks flushed with frustration. His eyebrow arches, the hint of a smile curling his lips, and it only makes you angrier. âYou just, expect me to drop everything, to risk my internship, to break every rule, every night, like itâs nothing.â
You draw yourself up, voice ringing against the sterile tile, finally unafraid of who hears. âIâve nearly been caught by four nurses and two attendings, spent half my nights hiding in supply closets or lying through my teeth at the front desk just to cover for you. You pull me behind locked doors, call me at any hour, act like I exist only for your secrets, and Iâve gone along with every single fucking thing you asked because Iââ You falter, breath shaking. âBecause I care. Because your little girl needs me. But Iâm not your secret. Iâm not a shadow in your story. If you want me, youâre going to have to look me in the eye and admit it.â
He shrugs, almost insolent. âYouâre being dramatic.â The words settle over your skin like a dare, his tone calm but sharpened by the flicker in his eyes, a challenge that makes you want to scream, or grab him by the collar and shake him, or maybe just let him touch you until you canât remember why you were angry at all. When you donât look away, he leans forward, gaze dark and steady, voice dropping just for you. âYou know I thank you every single time,â he says quietly, his meaning twisting beneath the surface, âbut thatâs not the kind of thanks you want, is it?â He holds your stare, heat simmering between you, as if he already knows exactly what youâre begging for.
âI do notââ You choke on the words, emotion spilling out unchecked. âYou have me sneaking files, forging signatures, making up lies to cover for both of us. I barely sleep. I miss meals. I hide from my friends. Iâve had to come up with more excuses than I ever thought possible. You make me feel like Iâm the only one who can do this, the only one who can save her and youâre not wrong. The thing is, I do itâevery timeâI do it because I care about her, because I want her to be okay. Because I love her, and I would burn the whole world for her. But I also do it for you. For you, Dr. Na. Because thereâs something in the way you look at me, the way you trust me with all this, that makes me want to prove myself, to be worthy of you.â
You donât even realize youâre pacing, hands gesturing wildly, rambling now, voice rising with each word. âItâs not just the riskâitâs the pressure, the fear. The way my heart stops every time someone says your name too loud in the hallway, or I hear footsteps coming toward the supply closet. The way you text me at midnight, and I run, every single time. I drop everything, even when I know I shouldnât. Even when I know itâs wrong. I keep doing it, because it feels like Iâm part of something bigger, something important. But itâs also because itâs you. Because you make me feel alive. Like Iâm not just surviving, like Iâm needed, chosen, fucking seen.â You let out a shaky breath, chest heaving. Your voice breaks, softening into something fragile, honest. âAnd I know itâs stupid, I know I should say no, I know I should walk away but I donât. I keep doing it. I canât stop and I donât know if that makes me loyal or pathetic, or just hopelessly in love with the feeling of being close to you.â Thereâs a beat of silence. You donât look at him, afraid of what youâll see.
Heâs silent for a moment, just watching you with that unreadable, dark gazeâwaiting, calculating, letting the air stretch tight and electric between you. Then his eyes shift, something deeper and darker flashing in them: hunger, authority, a warning that thrums all the way through you. His lips curl into the faintest, dangerous smile. âCareful,â he murmurs, his voice velvet-wrapped steel. âYou know I donât tolerate tantrums, sweetheart. If you want my attention, youâll ask for it the right way.â He lets the words linger, letting you feel every inch of the control heâs claiming, every ounce of heat simmering beneath. âIf youâre going to talk back to me, youâd better be ready to accept the consequences.â The challenge is unmistakable, sharp and commanding, darkly sexual, promising that if you push, heâll make you feel it everywhere.
You stumble, realization crashing over you like a wave. Your shoulders curl inward, shrinking beneath his stare. âIâm sorry. Iâm sorry, Dr. Na. I shouldnât haveâIâm sorry, sir.â The last word leaves your lips in a whimper, almost involuntary, and you hate yourself for how much it aches, how natural it feels to submit, to give him that power. The air in the room thickens, heavy with the gravity of everything unspoken. Silence coils tight, thick as smoke. For a moment, you wonder if heâll dismiss you, if heâll turn away. But instead, he stands, the movement slow, deliberateâa predator circling prey. He steps forward, the distance between you shrinking to nothing, and suddenly your back is pressed flush to the door, the cool wood biting through your shirt. His body boxes you in, his arms braced on either side of your head, hips anchoring you in place. The heat of him is overwhelming, a cage you donât want to escape.
âYou want me to thank you?â His voice drops, low and rough, vibrating straight through your bones. âShould I make it up to you, then?â The question isnât innocent. Itâs a taunt, a threat, a promise. You swallow, the air buzzing with anticipation, and his eyes drop to your mouth, lingering there as if heâs considering all the ways he could ruin you.
For a moment, the world is still, heavy with the things unsaid, your chest still tight from the words you spat at him, the sting of injustice and longing tangled up in your body. Youâre braced for another argument, but something shifts in his face: a flicker of hunger, the slow drag of his gaze down your throat, the way his tongue flicks at the corner of his mouth, considering. He steps forward, not fast, just deliberate, each inch erasing the space between you until his presence is all you can feel. The air grows thick, shadows lengthening across the on-call room floor, the distant hum of hospital machinery fading until thereâs only your heartbeat and the subtle creak of the door behind your back.
He reaches out, fingers brushing your jaw, soft, testing, almost gentle. His touch lingers, thumb stroking the corner of your mouth, tracing the line of your cheek, as if memorizing you. You donât breathe. The room seems to tilt, the power shifting, all that anger melting into a deeper ache. âSo dramatic tonight,â he murmurs, letting the words draw out, his voice teasing but his eyes unblinking, dark, searching for something raw beneath your bravado. âAll that fireâmakes me wonder what youâd do if I really gave you what you want.â
You canât answer, not with his body crowding you, his heat bleeding through your clothes, his scent making your pulse flutter. He brings his hand to your throat, his palm broad, warm, controlling but not cruelâjust a steady, possessive pressure, thumb brushing your pulse as if reading every secret, every surrender. You gasp, but the sound is small, caught between your teeth, your hands fisting in the fabric of your own scrubs for something to hold onto. His thigh presses between your legs, nudging you open, the contact slow but inevitable, grinding you back against the door until you have nowhere left to go.
He holds you there, eyes locked on yours, every muscle in his body tense but patient, letting you feel how easily he could take everything, but refusing to rush. His hand stays tight on your throat, thumb stroking slow circles, his other hand sliding down to grip your hip, fingers digging in, guiding you to rock forward, to grind against him, to feel how hard he already is beneath all that calm. âI want to hear you ask for it,â he murmurs, his voice dropping even lower, every word deliberate, âI want to hear you beg. Youâve been running for me, breaking every rule. You want to know what you get for that?â His breath is hot at your ear, lips just barely grazing your skin, every syllable a question and a dare.
He doesnât move fastâhe waits, letting the tension coil between your bodies, his hands holding you in place, making you feel how thoroughly youâve lost control. When you finally look up at him, eyes blown wide, lips parted in anticipation, he smiles, slow and dangerous. âTell me. What exactly do you want me to teach you tonight?â He doesnât hesitate. He just locks the door behind you with a quick, commanding twist, no words, just a click that settles in your bones, then grabs your hips, grinding his thigh up between your legs, making you whimper without meaning to. The move is rough, pure instinct, his mouth already coming for yours, the space between you charged and wild. You barely have time to process, your body giving a desperate little jerk against him, his scent, his authority, his need overwhelming every protest in your mind. He tries to kiss youâhungry, searching, lips already partingâbut you shove him back, breathless, chest heaving, your fingers fisted in his shirt. He freezes, eyes dark with surprise, confusion flaring. He blinks, something like doubt flickering in the pauseâhe thought this was what you wanted, thought youâd melt into his arms, thought youâd beg him to keep going. For a moment, the air is suspended, silent, his gaze flickering from your mouth to your eyes, trying to read you, trying to figure out what line heâs crossed.
But youâre the one who breaks it, not with anger, but with need, raw and sweet, a gasp trembling from your lips. âTeach me.â The words are a plea, a dare, the spark that sets the rest of you alight. Your voice drops, syrupy and high, nearly a whine. âDonât just takeâshow me. Teach me how to be your good girl. Teach me how to ride cock, how to beg, how to suck you off until you forget your own name, teach me how to make you want me, how to be your best, your only, your fucking favorite. I want to be the best student youâve ever had, Dr. Na. I want to learn every filthy thing you like, every way you want me. I want to make you proud, so you never, ever want anyone else. Pleaseâteach me. Iâll be so good for you. Iâll do everything you say.â
You clutch at his wrist, chest arching as your body presses to his, already breathless from the weight of two months spent running for him, begging for more than heâd ever give in daylight. Your nerves spark with the adrenaline of confession. âI mean it,â you gasp, half-laughing, half-pleading, âIâm not here for surgical lessons. I want you to teach me all the other stuff, the things I actually need. Pleaseâteach me how to ride cock, how to suck cock, how to beg for it, how to be on my knees and take you, how to make someone want me, how to make you lose your mind. I want to be good for youâI want to be so fucking good for Heeseung. I want you to show me everything, Dr. Na. I want to learn from the best.â Your voice is high, sweet and shameless, eyes wide, so eager for him youâre almost shaking.
He drags his hand up your throat, claiming you, gaze black with possession and hunger. âYou want me to teach you how to be a good little slut, is that it? So you can run off and use it on Heeseung?â His words are a dark caress, biting and jealous, every line vibrating with heat. âYou really think Iâm going to show you how to ride my cock so you can bounce on someone elseâs? You want me to teach you how to suck cock, beg, take it however I want to give it, just so you can be his perfect little thing?â He leans in, lips brushing your ear, voice almost cruel with need. âNo, sweetheart. If I teach you how to fuck, itâll be for me. You want to learn how to beg? You beg for me. You want to ride? You ride my cock. You want to learn how to take it on your knees? You start right here, with me. Iâm not letting you give this to anyone else.â
Your lashes flutter, mouth parted, brain dizzy with want. âPlease, Dr. Naâmake me your dumb little fucktoy. I want you to teach me how to ride your cock so deep I canât think, how to suck you off until youâre shaking, how to drool all over your cock and beg for more. I want to learn how to kneel for you, how to take your fingers, your tongue, your cockâanywhere, anytime, any way you want it. Teach me how to make a mess for you, how to choke on it, how to beg so sweet you have to cover my mouth just to shut me up. I want to be your favorite thing to use, your best slut, the only one you fuck, the only one you think about. Pleaseâlet me be your perfect girl, your little bimbo, your filthy student. Iâll do anything, I just want you to use me and make me yours, make me forget everything but how good you feel inside me. Please, tell me everything, make me beg, make me better for youâplease, please, pleaseââ Your words spill over themselves, needy and breathless, your hands gripping his arms, nails biting.
His eyes darken even further, the command and pride sharp as a blade. His hand tightens at your throat just enough to remind you who owns every gasp, every shiver. âYouâre not leaving this room until youâve been taught, sweetheart,â he murmurs, voice heavy with authority, but thereâs a new glintâsomething indulgent, almost reverent. âBut tonight? Tonight youâre getting your reward. Youâve been my perfect little accomplice, havenât you? Two months running around this place for me. That deserves a thank you, doesnât it, baby?â He leans in, lips brushing your jaw as his words turn to velvet, every syllable a promise. âTonight, Iâm going to make you fall apart on my mouth, just to show you what youâve earned. After that, maybe Iâll let you beg to learn more.â
He drops to his knees right in front of you, his hands sliding up your thighs, hiking your scrubs and panties to your hips. You barely have time to brace yourself against the wall before he hooks one of your legs over his shoulder, prying you open for his tongue, his grip hard and unyielding as his mouth finds you, hot and greedy. His tongue is relentless. broad, wet, devouring you like youâre the only thing heâs ever needed. He licks and sucks, flicks and circles, moaning filth into your skin, lips curling as you whimper, trying to bite down your cries but failing miserably. Your hands fly to his hair, clutching tight as he pins you with the weight of his head, tongue working you open, face buried so deep you feel the scrape of his stubble every time you roll your hips.
You grind down, desperate, using his mouth, breath coming in frantic bursts as his nose nudges your clit, his hands gripping your ass hard enough to leave marks. Every time you moan his name, he hums louder, tongue fucking you deep, then swirling slow until youâre shaking and almost sobbing. He spreads you wider, holding you against the wall so the only thing keeping you upright is the tremor in your legs and his strong grip, until youâre teetering on the edge, dizzy, then stumbling as your knees buckle, the world blurring around the rush of his tongue and the obscene wetness of his mouth.
He laughs low against your cunt, voice rough with pride, and catches you before you hit the floor, easing you down until youâre straddling his chest, legs spread wide, knees digging into the thin carpet. He lays back, looking up at you with a wicked grin, eyes hungry, beard shining with you. âGo on, baby,â he growls, voice gone ragged, hands squeezing your ass and guiding you forward. âShow me how greedy you can beâfuck my mouth, just like that. I want to see you use me. Show me how much you need it.â
You obey without thought, letting him position you over his face, thighs trembling as you lower yourself, your pussy slick and swollen, his mouth already open for you. You rock against him, grinding and riding, hands in his hair, back arching as you take what you want, what heâs begged you to demand. His tongue is everywhere, hungry and relentless, and every time you try to slow down, his hands slap your ass, the sharp smack jolting you forward, making you cry out louder. He groans, buried in you, eyes glazed with need as he lets you rut and buck, taking you higher and higher.
He urges you on, voice muffled, hands never letting go, coaxing you with every filthy encouragement he can spit between licks. âThatâs it, use me, make a mess, fuck yourself on my faceâgood girl, my favorite little slut, show me how bad you want it.â The praise makes you wild, hips moving harder, chasing the edge, your head thrown back as your cries echo in the cramped room, every shameful sound an offering just for him. You feel everythingâhis tongue, his teeth grazing, his grip, his hands spanking and squeezing and guiding, your cunt throbbing for him.
You come undone, shattering for him, his mouth working you through every wave, never letting up, drinking in every drop as you fall apart over his face, nails digging into his scalp, thighs squeezing tight around his head. He lets you ride it out, lets you grind until youâre sobbing, spent, nothing left but shivers and praise. He doesnât let you up until youâre limp and boneless, legs shaking, heart beating too fast, your whole world collapsed into the shape of his mouth and hands. Only then does he let you slide down, cradling you, kissing your thigh as you fall into his arms, dizzy and glowing, still marked by every lesson heâs begun to teach you.
He stretches you out on the bed, the hospital sheets cold against your feverish skin, body pliant but trembling from the way heâs handled you. Your thighs fall open for him, heart thudding wild in your chest as he kneels between your legs, his sheer size eclipsing everything elseâbroad shoulders crowding the fluorescent haze, hands big enough to pin your hips with barely any effort. He grips you there, grounding you as he drags the blunt head of his cock through your slick, teasing your entrance with obscene, unhurried strokes, letting you feel every throbbing inch against your folds. âOpen up for me, baby,â he says, voice thick with a mix of command and awe, his thumb flicking your clit until you shudder. âGonna watch you split around me, letâs see how much this greedy little cunt can take.â
He lines himself up, nudging at your entrance, then justâwaits, teasing, grinding the head in shallow circles. The anticipation is a pulse in your belly. He presses in, barely an inch, and you gasp at the stretchâheâs so thick, you feel yourself fight to open, the ache bordering on pain. Your hands scramble for his forearms, nails biting into his skin, needing something to anchor you. He smirks, cocky and cruel, rocking his hips forward just enough to make your breath catch. âLook at you already struggling, havenât even given you half of me yet. Such a greedy little thing.â He leans down, mouth at your ear, heat fogging your thoughts. âRelax for me. Breathe. Let Daddy in.â
Heâs patient but unrelenting, pressing in, then pausing, easing you open inch by inch. He spits in his hand, slicks himself up, then spits again directly on your cunt, working it in with two fingers, stretching you, coaxing you to take him deeper. Each time you tense, he stops, rubs circles on your clit until your muscles give, then pushes again. The burn is relentless, making your thighs tremble, your vision blur. You whimper, tears pricking your lashes, the fullness already overwhelming and he isnât even halfway inside. âSo fucking tight, so pureâfuck, have you done this before?â His voice is quieter, dangerous, a thread of possessiveness running through the filth.
You open your mouth to lie, pride trembling on your tongue, but the truth chokes you, your breath hitching, your voice cracking as you finally admit, âNo. This is⊠my first time.â Your cheeks flush, eyes watering, shame and need tangled together, but you force yourself to nod, to let him see all of you.Â
His eyes go molten, mouth curling into a wicked grin. âMy little virgin? Thatâs even better.â He draws his thumb over your lips, presses down until you part them, then spits in your mouth, claiming you, marking you. âYouâre gonna remember this forever, baby. Youâll never forget the first time you got split openânever forget who made you his.â
He slows down even more, rolling his hips, working you open with patience laced with something wicked. âSuch a good girl, letting Daddy ruin you like this. Two months of you teasing me, making me wait, watching you run around this hospital, pretending you were so innocent. All that time, you never told me you were saving yourself for this. For me.â He presses in, inching deeper, filling you until you feel him in your belly, the pressure blooming higher than you thought possible.Â
You arch, whimpering, your fingers clutching at his biceps, âDaddyâplease, itâs so much, I can feel you everywhere, I canâtââ
He hushes you, eyes heavy with pride and hunger. âYes you can, sunshine. You can take it. Youâre made for this. Look how full you areâlook at that little bulge, can you feel me in your tummy, baby? Thatâs all you. Thatâs how deep Daddy is inside his perfect girl.â He cradles your jaw, forces your eyes to his, one hand sliding to your lower belly, pressing down until you moan, dizzy from the mix of pain and pleasure and total surrender. âKeep looking at me. Donât look away. I want to see your face when I ruin you.â
Youâd always imagined your first time would be slow, maybe gentle, maybe awkward with someone who would say all the right things. But this is nothing like thatâthis is rough, filthy, unplanned, your mind coming undone at the edges as you let him take every ounce of control. Itâs been building between you for months, all the tension, the late nights, the secret glances in sterile corridors, all culminating here, your body stretched open, exposed, trembling for someone who wants to own you, mark you, make you forget anyone else ever existed.
He rocks his hips again, working you deeper, each thrust shallow but insistent, holding you open until finally, finally, his hips meet yours. The pain crests and then morphs into something so bright you can barely breatheâyour cunt clamping down, your mouth open on a silent gasp, body going hot and cold all at once. âFuck, youâre squeezing me so tight, sunshine. You feel that? Thatâs how Daddy knows he owns you. No one else gets to fuck you like this, to break you in. Youâre my best student. My only girl.â
He wipes a tear from your cheek, then slaps your face just hard enough to make you blink, to bring you back to him, to ground you in the feeling of his body buried deep in yours. âDonât you dare look away. I want to watch you fall apart for me.â His hands press down on your belly again, cock pulsing inside you, your body forced to accommodate every inch. You whimper, but nod, holding his gaze, letting him see every shattered piece as you finally, completely let go.
He spits down at your mouth, watching it drip onto your tongue, his thumb smearing it across your lips. âSwallow it. Show me how much you love being messy for me.â You obey, cheeks hollowing around his thumb, tasting spit and salt and need. âThatâs itâfilthy little thing. Letâs see how much more you can take.â He starts to move, slow at first, letting you feel every drag, every catch, your cunt stretched tight, the friction wet and obscene. His other hand slides up to your throat, squeezing until your head goes light, every sense focused on the tight burn where he fills you.
He leans down, tongue tracing the tears on your cheeks, lips nipping your jaw. âGonna make you cum so hard you forget your name. You want that? You want to be dumb and useless, just stuffed full of cock?â You nod frantically, your voice high and ruined, âYes, Daddyâplease, want it so bad, want to be your perfect dumb baby.â He hums approval, hips grinding deeper, the angle pressing him against your sweetest spot, making you keen and thrash beneath him.
He doesnât let upâhis hand still locked around your throat, his hips rolling slow, controlled, never giving you all of him at once. âCount for me,â he commands, punctuating every thrust with a slap to your tits, your ass, your thighs. âEvery time I fuck you deeper, every time you take it for me, you count.â Your voice cracks as you obey, counting, sobbing, the numbers tumbling between moans and broken whimpers. âGood girlâtaking it all, just for Daddy. Want you to remember this every time you even think about another cock.â
He pulls out suddenly, leaving you empty and desperate, and flips you onto your stomach. You gasp as he drags your hips up, ass in the air, face pressed into the pillow. He spits on your asshole, thumb circling, then leans down to lick you open, tongue hot and filthy, making you arch and shake. âThis ass is mine too, baby. Everything you areâevery hole, every inch, belongs to Daddy.â You sob, hips twitching as he fingers you open, one thick finger, then two, working in time with his tongue, your cunt fluttering, soaking the sheets.
He slides his cock back inside, slower this time, making you feel the push in both holes, the overwhelming fullness. You choke on your cries, his hand in your hair, forcing you to look back at him, eyes wild. âLook how dumb you get for me. Canât even think straight, can you?â He pulls your hair, making you arch, then releases to spank your ass, watching your skin bloom red. âSay thank you, baby. Thank Daddy for ruining you.â You stammer it out, barely coherent, every word a plea.
He edges you, stops every time you get close, making you whimper and beg, your whole body quivering on the edge of release. âNot yet. Not until you beg for it, until you say youâre my fucktoy, my perfect dumb baby.â He slaps your ass again, rubs your clit until youâre shaking. You sob out the words, âPlease, Daddy, let me cum, let me be your perfect little slut, Iâll do anything, Iâll be so good for youââ He finally gives in, hips snapping harder, deeper, the sound of skin on skin echoing through the room, the bed creaking beneath you. The world narrows to the relentless stretch, the heavy pulse of him buried deep, and the hot thrum in your belly thatâs been building for what feels like hours. His hands clamp around your hips, holding you still as he grinds into that sweet spot inside you, his cock thick and insistent, every drag making you tremble and gasp, lost in the rhythm. Your fingers claw helplessly at his back, nails dragging red crescents down his skin, your whole body tightening, every muscle wound so tight you feel like you might snap.
He feels the shift, feels the way you tense and shudder around him, and he grins, voice thick with dark pride as he growls, âThere you go, sunshineâlet go for me, show lolly how good you are, how pretty you look when you cum for me.â His words push you right to the edgeâyour breath catches, your eyes rolling back, the pressure mounting and cresting, breaking all at once. The orgasm rips through you, sudden and blinding, a tidal wave crashing up from your toes, shaking through your legs, your stomach, your chest. You scream, high and broken, hips bucking, your cunt clamping down hard around him, pulsing in hot, desperate waves.
Your vision whites out, the world gone fuzzy and weightless, only sensation and sound and his voice in your ear, praising you, coaxing you to keep cumming, to milk his cock for everything heâs worth. âThatâs it, let it outâfuck, youâre so tight, youâre squeezing me, baby, making a mess all over my cock. Such a good girl, look at you, losing it for me.â He doesnât slow, doesnât let up, hips grinding into you, stretching out the orgasm until youâre sobbing, body shaking uncontrollably, thighs quivering as aftershocks roll through you, each one sharper and more unbearable than the last.
You feel yourself gush around him, wet and messy, slick soaking his cock, leaking onto the sheets. Your cries turn to broken, breathless whimpers, voice gone hoarse from the force of it, body convulsing in his grip. He cups your face, forces your eyes to his, pride and hunger blazing in his gaze as he fucks you through every wave, making sure you feel every inch, every pulse, every last tremor. Your world collapses to nothing but the hot, desperate clutch of your cunt around his cock and the overwhelming rush of pleasure he wrings from your body, again and again, until you go limp, shattered, tears shining in your lashes, still twitching from the aftershocks of his possession.
He pushes you over, flipping you onto your back again with a grip that leaves you dizzy and exposed, the sheets bunched and sticky beneath your skin. He kneels up, cock flushed and leaking, and strokes himself over your faceâhis hand steady, gaze locked on yours, control radiating from every slow, possessive movement. You watch, breath caught in your throat, as he groans and comes for you, painting your lips, chin, throat, and bare chest with hot, messy streaks. âLick it up. Donât waste a drop,â Jaemin orders, voice rough and low, that dark pride flickering in his eyes. Your tongue darts out, obedient, tasting him, eyes fluttering closed as you drag it over your lips and down to your skin, collecting every drop and swallowing it, drool and cum running down your throat. He smears the mess over your mouth with his thumb, rubbing it in until youâre glossy, then presses his thumb down to your cunt, pushing it inside, making you feel just how used and claimed you are. âSo fucking pretty like thisâmy mess, my ruin. You look perfect when youâre wrecked for me.â
He doesnât let you rest; instead, Jaemin pulls you up with strong hands, muscles flexing beneath your grip, dragging you into his lap, straddling his hips, your body limp and heavy in his arms. His hands never leave you, guiding your sore, trembling body down onto his cock again, stretching you all over, making you whimper as you try to take him. Youâre exhausted, barely able to hold yourself upright, but he supports you, his arms like iron bands around your waist, forcing you to ride him, bouncing on his cock even as your legs shake and threaten to give out. âYouâre going to cum again for me, even if you have to cry for it,â Jaemin growls, pressing you down harder, making you whine and gasp. âThatâs what good girls do, right? Thatâs what Daddyâs favorites do. Only Jaemin can make you this desperate, this hungry, this ruined.â You nod, broken, every movement pure surrender, cunt fluttering, swollen and sore, your voice a needy, pleading whimper as you rock and grind against him.
Jaeminâs hand comes up, fingers closing around your throat, just tight enough to remind you who owns every breath. His other hand anchors your waist, guiding you up and down, every inch of him stretching you open again and again. âDonât stop,â he commands, the words a dark thrill in your ear. âShow me how much you want it. Show me how much you need to be filled, used, owned by Dady.â Your head rolls back, tears streaking your cheeks, words dissolving into a string of slurred, helpless cries. âSo dumb for you, Daddy. Only ever want youâno one else could fuck me like this, no one else could ever make me cum like you.â Your words are high and delirious, your mind a haze of need and obedience.
He slides his thumb between your parted lips, watching you suck, drool spilling from your mouth, running down your chin and neck, messy and shameless just how he likes you. âFilthy thingâso needy, so pretty. Good girls take every inch. Good girls get every drop. Daddy wants to see you lose control.â He presses his thumb to your clit, pinching until you cry out, forcing another orgasm from you, your cunt pulsing and clenching so hard around his cock you see stars, your vision whiting out, the pleasure blurring into a kind of desperate, overwhelming pain.
He doesnât stop, not even as your whole body gives out, going limp and boneless, moans dissolving into half-sobs and whimpers. His hips piston up, relentless, keeping you on his cock, using you just the way he wants. âCanât stop now, baby. Daddy wants you fucked stupid, wants you to remember this for days. Let go for me, sunshineâlet Daddy see you fall apart.â He slaps your tits, your ass, the marks blooming bright and beautiful, every bruise and bite a new place heâs claimed as his own.
Finally, you feel him break, hips jerking beneath you, cock pulsing deep inside your sore, fluttering cunt, filling you up with wave after wave of heat. Jaemin moans low and broken, arms crushing you to him as he spends himself inside you, not stopping until youâre leaking, the evidence of him dripping down your thighs. He pulls out with a wet, obscene sound, spreading your folds with two fingers just to watch his cum spill out, rubbing it into your sensitive, swollen skin, then pushing some back inside you, claiming every part of you all over again. âDonât you dare clean up. I want you walking around this hospital knowing who you belong toâeveryone should see Daddyâs mark on you.â
When you finally collapse, body shaking and spent, heâs right there, gentler now, cleaning you up with his tongue, soft and lingering, worshipping every bruise, every bite, every place heâs marked. His voice is softer, but still full of command as he kisses your shoulder, your collarbone, the corner of your mouth. âThank me for ruining you, baby. Thank me for making you mine.â You whisper it through the last of your tears, your voice dreamy and grateful, blissed out and half gone. Jaemin helps you dress, tucks you against his chest, his hands slow and careful, pride and promise in every touch. And as you drift, marked and utterly claimed, you know in every trembling, satisfied bone that thereâs no one else in the world who could ever fuck you like thisâno one youâd ever want to learn from again, no one youâd ever want to let inside your body, your heart, your everything, but Jaemin.
Itâs been two hoursâtwo hours of you riding Jaeminâs cock, of his hands gripping your hips, his arms around your waist, his mouth everywhere: your mouth, your neck, your breasts. You canât stop, neither of you can stop, both of you lost in the haze of heat and sweat and the messy, helpless way your bodies fit together, every inch sticky with the proof of all youâve given each other. Youâve cum five timesâfive times in a single night, when youâd spent your whole life before him never even knowing what it was to fall apart. Youâre boneless and burning, voice hoarse from crying out, but he keeps you bouncing, supporting your shaking thighs, his lips catching yours in a slow, dizzy kiss every time you start to fall forward. âSo good for me, baby, so pretty when you break like this. I could keep you forever,â he whispers against your mouth, his breath warm and gentle, his chest pressed to yours as you rock and tremble, both of you high on the slow grind.
You ride him like itâs the only thing you knowâclumsy, desperate, your hands in his hair, his mouth moving down to your breasts, sucking one nipple, then the other, tongue swirling, teeth grazing. You arch, moaning softly, sweat slipping down your back, his hands splayed wide across your ribs as if to hold you together. Itâs so soft nowâso stupidly, heartbreakingly intimate, his hands coaxing you, his voice low and thick, coaxing another orgasm out of you, your thighs trembling as you lose yourself again and again. You donât even notice the world outsideâthe lights, the time, the way your bodies have blurred into something helpless and hungry and bright.
But somewhere, in the dark corners of your mind, something slithers, something black and greedy. In the fragile hush between kisses, you feel it: the edge of dread, the cold slip of a nightmare stalking the corridors outside. A black swan, sleek and sharp, circles your heart. Its wings spread wide, swallowing every ray of warmth youâve built with him, casting shadow across your loveâyour baby, your sunshine girl, your whole heart. You press your face into Jaeminâs neck, trying to hold onto the light, but itâs there, always there, a parasite crouched at the foot of Haeunâs bed, waiting.
Neither of you hears the first shrill of your pagers, both of them muted, discarded in a tangle of clothes, the screens lighting up again and again. Youâre mid-bounce, Jaeminâs mouth sealed over your nipple, sucking hard, his hands guiding your hips, both of you so lost in each other, so far from the hospital world you thought you knew. The pounding at the door barely registersâat first just another noise, part of the storm of sensation, until it becomes a violent, echoing bang. Dr. Huangâs voice is a blade through the fog: âJaemin! Hurry the fuck out and get to Haeunâs bed, sheâs crashing, man! She isnât breathing!â His words slam into you, shattering everything, ripping you out of the warmth and color, dropping you straight into ice. Jaemin jolts beneath you, his hands suddenly cold, his eyes wide and lost. You freeze, your heart hammering against your ribs as the world comes back in terrible, strobing flashes, the sheets, the sweat, the door, the urgent terror in Dr. Huangâs voice.
Time folds and twists, the night rushing in black around you, the black swan spreading its wings wider, swallowing all the light, all the hope, devouring Haeunâs fragile sunbeam heart. You can almost see it, hovering above her bed, a parasite poised to snatch her from you both, its beak pressed to her tiny chest. Youâre running before you know it, the taste of Jaemin still in your mouth, the echo of his hands still around your waist, but nothing in the world could stop the cold, bottomless dread that chases you down the hallâthe certainty that, no matter how much you love, the night always wants more, and sometimes the dark comes to collect.
And all the warmth, all the sweetness, all the fevered tenderness you built in Jaeminâs arms is nothingâa single, trembling candle flame guttering in the draftâas the true darkness descends. Down the hall, at Haeunâs bedside, horror is no longer a distant specter but a living thing, hungry and sure. The black swan is no mere shadow now but a beast with oil-slick wings, its neck arched, eyes cold as midnight. It perches at the foot of her bed, talons curled into white sheets, beak gleaming, poised for the kill. Every machine in the room is screaming, alarms shrill and merciless, lines spiking red, numbers plummeting in freefall. There is no softness here, no sanctuary, just the relentless, predatory silence that follows the shriek of failing breath.
You run, barefoot and shivering, Jaeminâs name a gasp behind you, both of you sprinting straight into the jaws of it. You see the swanâs shadow unfurling along the walls, black wings blocking out every memory of light. A chill creeps up your spine: you know, with the certainty of a bullet shattering glass, that you are racing death itself. Itâs already here. The parasite coils, slick and obscene, at Haeunâs throat, claws digging into the flutter of her pulse, the promise of her next breath slipping away, snuffed out as if she were nothing but a candle in a hurricane. Thereâs no mercy, no magic to bargain with. You arrive in time to see the color drained from her lips, her chest stuttering in fits and starts, wires snaking over fragile skin. The black swan rears, monstrous and inevitable, wingspan blocking out every plea, every desperate hope. This is the moment where love is useless, where prayers rot on the tongue, where you realize that sometimes death is not a visitor but the rightful heir, the shadow that always returns, no matter how you beg or bargain.
You reach for her, for Jaemin, but the room is already colder. The monster crouches at the edge of her small, ruined body, claiming what you canât protect, greedy for every heartbeat she might have left. Somewhere, a nurse is crying, the code echoing like a gunshot, but the truth is plain as daylight: the night doesnât care how much you love. The black swan has come, and its hunger is bottomless. And as you watch, helpless, everything you builtâlove, sweat, tenderness, hopeâis nothing but a trail of feathers in its wake, scattered and trampled as the darkness swallows your sunshine whole.

authorâs note
now, if you made it this far, iâd love it if you left me a comment, reblog, or even a like. i read every single one and they mean so much to meâitâs genuinely the best way to let me know what moved you, what you loved, or even what broke your heart. writing is a little lonely sometimes, it always takes me restless nights, and hearing from you makes it all feel worthwhile, like sharing a secret or lighting a candle for these characters. so donât be shy! every little note is treasured and makes me want to keep going. thank you for reading, and for loving these messy, magical people with me. <3
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What about one with Jackie x teammate reader and reader is a crashout who is down bad for Jackie and will rock anyoneâs shit who messes with her so when they play the fever either Sophie or Caitlin start getting smart mouthed and way too physical so reader steps in and DOES rock one of their shit in the name of standing up for Jackie. I saw your post about smut too so maybe it leads into smut or something, idk
Let Me Show You
Jackie Young x Fem!Reader

MASTERLIST | MORE
Summary: Youâre a crashout, a hothead, and the undisputed enforcer on the teamâand youâre head over heels for Jackie.
Word Count: ~ 1k
Genre: WNBA chaos, protective love, locker room comedy
Warnings: Violence, foul language, ejection from game, reader got hands and no filter

Everybody on the team know I love Jackie. Quiet, sweet, lowkey Jackie. Real low maintenance but never one to let somebody talk crazy to her.
I respect that. But thereâs a difference between standing up for yourself and needing someone to go full crash dummy on your behalf.
Thatâs me. Iâm someone.
I been telling them. From preseason to now, I been saying it. Jackie get hit wrong, Jackie get pushed, Jackie even look remotely uncomfortable, Iâm coming off the bench like I ainât got a contract. Like my mom ainât watching. Like I didnât just get off probation. No morals.
So when we play the Fever and Caitlin Clark start talking slick under her breathâeverybody hear it but ainât nobody doing nothing. Jackie just ignore her. Like she always do. Good for her.
Maybe that work for some people. But it damn sure ainât work for me. It itch at me. Iâm already pacing.
First quarter. Caitlin come off a screen and elbows Jackie a little too hard. Jackie stumble. She get up, fix her headband, adjust her shorts. Calm. Like always.
Iâm off the bench. Bothered.
Coach tap my wrist and mutter something but I ainât listening. I just nod cause I already know what Iâm bout to do. Ainât even a play. I go in the game and I donât blink. Iâm not even guarding Caitlin, but I walk right over during the free throw and bump her shoulder hard enough to make her stumble.
She turn around, all attitude. But she donât say nothing. Cause she know.
Second quarter. Jackie go up for a layup and Caitlin clip her wrist and shove her midair. Jackie hit the floor. And yeah the ref call it, but my hearing turn off. Itâs like I can only see Jackieâs body on that hardwood, and Iâm walking before I know Iâm moving.
I donât run. I donât need to. I walk. Slow. Like Iâm in a 2010 music video. Wind blowing. Jacket flowing. Real dramatic. Real ready.
Caitlin barely get the chance to open her mouth before I rock her shit. One hit. Clean. Her ponytail swung. She spun like a cartoon character and hit the ground loud. Refs start blowing whistles like they tryna summon someone.
Jackieâs voice come through all soft and shocked, âY/NâŠâ
I hear it but Iâm just looking down at Caitlin like she lucky I stopped at one. Like the cameras not rolling. Like I ainât got a whole family who been praying for me to stop reacting like this. Knowing they made me like this for a reason.
Ref donât even say nothing. Just point. I nod. Cool. I walk off like it was a light workout.
Fever crowd booing. Social media gonâ cry. Her little army of Clarkette fans gonâ write novels in the comments.
I donât give a fuck. You touch Jackie again and Iâma knock your ass into ya next game.
Back in the locker room. Cool air hitting my arms. Iâm in my compression shorts eating lemon pepper wings out a foil wrap, watching old âIAmZoieâ and âPatDLuckyâ vids on my phone like I didnât just cause a scene. Laughing hard as hell too. Got tears in my eyes.
âBroooo, you remember this one,â I say, showing my screen to whoever walk in. âThe one where he made, âDrop yo shitâ That shit had me in tears the first time.â
Nobody saying shit about what happened. Not yet.
Jackie finally come sit by me. Her knee got ice on it. Her voice still gentle when she lean close and whisper, âYou know you didnât have to do that, right?â
âI didnât have to,â I say. âI wanted to.âI look over slow, chewing. She shake her head, trying not to smile, but I catch it.
âDonât be cute now,â I tell her. âI already got ejected. Might as well go all in.â
Jackie press her lips together like she holding in a laugh.
I smirk, eyes back on my phone. Caitlin still somewhere in the building room with an ice pack and a bruised ego. Fans still crying online. The league probably calling my agent.
Meanwhile. Iâm eating good. Jackieâs beside me. My hands still hurt a little. Iâd do it all again. No regrets. Clark not untouchable.
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Lowkey ainât know how to even start the smut. For once. Here was the plan: After the game. Bus ride to the Aces Training Facility. The team breaks off and goes home or something like that. After a few hours I go to her place to apologize. Like show up in the middle of the night. I lowkey think she an undercover freak. Like shy asl on camera and in person. But get her alone and I bet sheâll out freak you. AnywaysâŠ
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Jackie stay ten minutes away. Top floor apartment, clean little spot. She donât answer when I knock, but I see the light under the door. So I knock againâgentler.
Finally, it creaks open. Sheâs in a big t-shirt. Hair down. Eyes low.
âYou good?â she asks, rubbing her wrist like she been tossing and turning.
âI shouldnâtâve done all that today,â I mutter. âBut Iâd do it again. And I just⊠I didnât wanna leave it like that.â
She nods. Bites her lip.
âI know,â she whispers. âI didnât think you would⊠but when you didâwhen I hit the floor and looked up, and you were already walking toward herââ I take a step forward.
I freeze. My chest tightens. âIâm sorry.â
âNo,â Jackie says quietly, shaking her head. âYou did it without hesitation. Like you already decided what I was worth to you.â
I donât know what to say. But she steps back, holding the door open.
âYou wanna come in?â
I donât speak. I just walk past her, slow, brushing against her shoulder on purpose. She closes the door behind me, locks it. That click is loud in the quiet.

@letsnowtalk @draculara-vonvamp @kcannon-1436-blog @let-zizi-yap @perksofbeingatrex @soapyonaropey @julieluvspb @non3ofurbusiness @kcannon-1436-blog @kaliblazin @liloandstitchstan @footy-lover264 @yorubagirlsworld @daffodil-darlings @h4untedghOul @followthesvn @hibiscusblu @sevikasleftbicep @swiftie4evr @babyphatbrat @sivensblog @beeop223 @huntedghOul @tpwkrosalinda @lightsgore @em-nems @salemsuccss @villain-ryuk @ihrtsarahstrOng @liyahh037 @sillystarv @somedetailsinthefabric @essence-134340 @mochelisgf @soph1asticated @heheievidbri @unvswrld @breezybellab @planet-ghoulborne @art-ofmusic @toorealrai
#las vegas aces x reader#las Vegas aces x oc#wbb imagine#wnba x reader#wbb x reader#wbb x oc#wnba x oc#wnba imagine#wbb#wnba fanfic#gxg#x black reader#x black oc#x black fem reader#x black y/n#xfem#x female reader#x fem!reader#x female y/n#x fem oc#x female oc#Jackie young x reader#Jackie young x oc#gxg imagine#gxg smut#gxg fluff#wnba
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THE FLYEST GIRL - (FLO DR)
better viewed in light mode!
"BRITISH GIRL GROUP FLO TAKES THE WORLD BY STORM"
maybe it was meant to be.
maybe these four girls were destined to take over the world together, because everything just fit so perfectly with them. their debut EP, âthe leadâ, sent renĂ©e downer, stella quaresma, jorja douglas, and marlene lennox straight into the spotlight. the public werenât ready for their addicting production, their tantalizing vocals, their hypnotizing harmoniesâŠ
flo was the next big girl group, and everyone was holding their breaths, waiting for the next chart-topper to drop.
RENĂE DOWNER ⊠born september 23rd, 2002. 22 years old. libra. lover of r&b, gospel, and house music. theatre nerd. karoake fanatic. one of my best and first friends. beautiful soul.
JORJA DOUGLAS ⊠born january 2nd, 2002. 23 years old. capricorn. twin flame. amazing friend. radiant spirit and attitude. my motivatorâŠand my ex girlfriend!
STELLA QUARESMA ⊠born november 28th, 2001. 23 years old. sagittarius. attended theatre school with me and renĂ©e. floâs fashion consultant. top model. eye-catcher. icon.
MARLENE LENNOX ⊠born august 2nd, 2002. 22 years old. leo. gamer (board and video games!) main cook in the group. songwriter before anything else. loves jigsaw puzzles and hates staying up late in the studio. ends up in the studio regardless.
FLO'S HITS.
ACCESS ALL AREAS ⊠caught up, walk like this, bending my rules, aaa, in my bag (feat. glorilla), check, etc.
FLY GIRL (feat. MISSY ELLIOT).
4 OF US ⊠control freak, change, suite life (familiar) [feat. bellah], 4 of us.
THE LEAD ... cardboard box, immature, not my job, summertime, feature me, another guy - acoustic.
MARLENE AND MICHAEL.
two growing musicians who meet on a movie set. initially coworkers, marlene and michael become closer through their mutual love for the arts. paparazzi catch them going out to dinner, walking by the beach, getting in the same vehicle. everyone knows something is up between them, but their relationship remains unconfirmed. mainly because, for a long time, they were just friends. but when that line between friends and something more finally starts to blur...marlene goes on a world tour.
TROPES ... friends to lovers, secret relationship, forced proximity (to an extent)
note ... i honestly have no idea if i want jorja, michael (cimino), or simon (riley) as my s/o. for now we're gonna say the second one, but that's subject to change. now that i'm thinking about it, i kinda want simon, but...i'm gonna keep it for now. also, if you want to be added to my taglist, let me know! you can dm or smth idk, up to you :)
note ... the picture i used for my section is not my fc! she is just a placeholder because it matched the theme the best. she is vibewithchels on pinterest.
tags ... @avelineshifts @miaojune @julianasversee @visualcve
divider
END OF POST - HAPPY SHIFTING!
#vshiftsss#flo dr#girl group dr#fame dr#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting community#shifting#shifting blog#shifting realities#shiftingrealities#shifting reality#reality shifter#black shifters#desired reality#shifting to desired reality#desired realities#shifters#reality shift#shifting journey#shifting antis dni#anti shifters dni#dr intro#dr scripting
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That night.
Warnings: smut, swearing uh idk
Summary:
You're the group's mechanicâa no-nonsense woman who keeps the vehicles running, stays out of the drama, and avoids forming attachments. Darylâs the same way. You've barely spoken more than a few words to each other despite being in the same camp for months. You both prefer solitude, hunting, working⊠staying distant.
But everything changes when a storm rolls in during a scavenging run.
You and Daryl take shelter in an abandoned cabin deep in the woods, miles from camp. Rain hammers the roof, thunder shakes the walls, and lightning cuts across the sky. Youâre stuckâwet, cold, and alone with a man who smells like leather and pine, and who watches you like heâs been biting his tongue for too long.
As the storm builds, so does the tension.
The heat between you doesnât come from the fire.
Note from ele: I actually proof read this time đ
--------
The wind howled like a dying thing, rattling the loose windows of the rotting cabin. Rain came down in sheets, pounding the tin roof so hard it sounded like gunfire. You stood by the fire you barely managed to get going, shivering in your soaked shirt, arms wrapped tight around yourself.
Daryl sat on the other side of the room, kneeling by his crossbow, adjusting the string like it was the only thing holding him together. He hadnât said much since the storm trapped you both in here. He never said much, really.
You glanced at him. His hair was dripping. His shirt clung to his chest, every line of muscle visible in the flickering firelight. He was chewing the inside of his cheek, eyes flicking to you and away like he didnât want to look too long.
âWhat?â you snapped, half from nerves, half from cold.
âNothinâ,â he muttered.
You turned back to the fire, teeth chattering. âWeâre gonna be here all night, might as well say something.â
He was quiet for a long beat. Then:
âYou always got that attitude, or just with me?â
You turned slowly. âYou barely talk to me.â
âYeah, well,â he said, standing now, brushing his wet hair from his face. âAinât easy talkinâ when you look at me like you wanna kill me half the damn time.â
You stepped forward without thinking. âBetter than you ignoring me like Iâm not even here.â
He stopped two feet from you, something sharp behind his eyes.
âI see you,â he said.
You froze. Your breath caught in your throat.
âI see you fixinâ them engines. See you patchinâ up that Jeep even when your hands are bleedinâ. See you sittinâ alone at the fire, like you wanna disappear.â
You swallowed. âThen why not say something?â
He took another step forward. â'Cause when I do, I think I might do more than talk.â
The silence cracked louder than the thunder.
You didnât know who moved firstâmaybe both of youâbut then his hands were in your hair, your fingers clawing at his soaked shirt. Your mouths crashed together, teeth and heat and hunger. He tasted like rain and sweat and something wild.
He pressed you against the wall, lifting you like you weighed nothing. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and his hands slid under your shirt, gripping your ribs, dragging groans from your throat.
âSay stop,â he growled into your mouth.
âI wonât.â
He carried you to the floor near the fire, laying you down like you were something breakable. But there was nothing soft in the way he kissed you nextârough, claiming, desperate.
Clothes came off fast. Your shirt hit the floor. His followed. You reached between you, fingers finding him hard and ready, and the look he gave youâferal and full of restraintâmade you ache.
âFuck,â he whispered. âYou got no idea what youâre doinâ to me.â
âShow me.â
He didnât need to be told twice.
He slid inside you slowly, letting you feel every inch, forehead pressed to yours. You gasped, fingers digging into his shoulders. He started to move, and it was a rhythm built from tension, from weeksâmonthsâof glances, of almosts, of biting things back that neither of you could say.
Your nails raked down his back. He grunted, hips snapping harder. The sound of skin, the fire crackling, the storm raging outsideâit was chaos, but inside the cabin it was heat and movement and need.
When you came, it was with a cry that didnât sound like your own. He followed with a low groan, burying his face in your neck like he was hiding from the world.
The storm still raged outside, but inside, it was quiet.
His hand found yours without a word.
You didnât let go.
-------
More note: So bassically I got some words from..cough cough GOOGLE cuz I'm not a smart person with adjectives. Or stuff like that. So sorry...HEHE LOVE U BYEEEE :>>
#daryl dixon#the walking dead#carl grimes#daryl dixon the walking dead#carl grimes x reader#daryl dixon x reader#twd#daryl twd#rick grimes#rick grimes smut#twdg#tumblr fyp#daryl fanfiction#the walking dead fanfiction
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rilla of ingleside, chapter three
this turned out to be a long one bc i can't shut up about these kids lmao
This is probably the chapter I've reread the most! After hearing about the Blythe-Meredith kids from the gossipy ladies in chapter one, and meeting Rilla, Walter, and Miss Oliver in chapter two, the war generation all finally shows up in this chapter, and we get a sense of them from the way they talk and interact on the way to the lighthouse dance. Since it's the only pre-war chapter featuring all the kids, I find myself rereading it a lot for fanfic personality/relationship references, haha.
âThe latter had come over from Lowbridge the previous evening and had been prevailed upon to remain for the dance at the Four Winds lighthouse the next night.â
Sometimes I forget that Gertrude is meant to be living in Lowbridge for parts of the book because she's at Ingleside all the time anyway lmao.
âItâs my first really-truly grown-up party, Miss Oliver, and Iâve just lain awake at nights for a week thinking it over. â
Something about this sentence reads so much like young Anne to me (maybe the phrasing of "really-truly"); despite Anne's concern over Rilla's lack of ambition, Rilla is her mother's daughter in that sense of dreaminess and earnest excitement over things she loves.
Inch restingly, it seems like Rilla turns fifteen between this chapter and the last (last chapter was June, she's turning fifteen next month, it's now August, per the events of the chapter and Walter's description of "How beautiful the old Glen was, in its August ripeness"). I have thoughts about this bc I was wrestling with her birthday in a fic and realized -- the book doesn't recognize her birthday at all, not in the four years it spans. You'd think Rilla would've had a fifteenth birthday party before the war, at least, but it doesn't appear so. I don't think Anne has a proper birthday party ever, either, although she's mentioned to attend one or two over the course of the series.
âOf course Carl and Jerry canât dance because theyâre the ministerâs sons, or else I could depend on them to save me from utter disgrace.â
Carl swooping in to save Rilla from utter disgrace!!! LMM why can't you let me have these things đ (Also, I realize they must see each other often, given that they're from two close families in a small town, but I have to admit I find it hard to believe that Jerry even knows Rilla exists.)
Disappointingly for the Rilla/Carl agenda, the bit abut Jerry and Carl not being able to dance was not in the original draft, per Readying Rilla -- instead, it says "but they're just like my brothers and I'll feel they're only doing it out of charity." LMM sniping me from beyond the grave đ© Also curious if LMM like...forgot that minister's children shouldn't dance, or if it was more of an expectation that not everyone followed, and she made the decision to use it as a reason. (The bit about it feeling like charity is applied to Gertrude feeling that way about Jem and Walter dancing with her instead -- also, it's initially written that Jem and Jerry will take her out, but Jerry is crossed out and replaced with Walter, presumably due to the above edit.)
âI tried to draw backâand I saw that the edge of my dress was wet with bloodâand I wokeâshivering. I donât like the dream. There was some sinister significance in it. That kind of vivid dream always âcomes trueâ with me.â
@batrachised pointed out that Gertrude's (I'm going to start calling her Gertrude instead of Miss Oliver because otherwise I'm going to keep going back and forth weirdly) dreams were actually based on LMM's, which, fair enough! That very much tracks with how seriously (almost) everyone takes Gertrude's visions. Idk -- I'm struggling to articulate why it comes off as almost laughably melodramatic to me -- because the war and death do come to Ingleside and touch our characters, and the shattering of their idyllic world is devastating to them (as it was to LMM); it's not as though her dream is wrong, necessarily. Maybe it's just the benefit of hindsight -- like Gertrude's going on about waves of blood on their shores and I'm just in the future like, "maybe you should save some of the dramatics because it's going to get so much worse." (Buuut I am also melodramatic and superstitious so maybe I just do not like looking in this mirror đ)
âI think the party promises to be pleasant for young fry. I expect to be bored. None of those boys will bother dancing with an old maid like me. Jem and Walter will take me out once out of charity. There will be nobody for me even to talk to. So you canât expect me to look forward to it with your touching young rapture.â
lmao jesus christ Gertrude. It's especially funny that she says this while also saying that she wants Rilla to have the "splendid, happy" girlhood that she didn't. Let her live then!!! (Also funny that Cousin Sophia is being portrayed as doom and gloom when she says stuff like this, while Gertrude is ~alluringly moody~)
And of course, the war is starting to become a concern for everyone except Rilla -- Dr. Blythe, Jem, and Walter are mentioned to be poring over the paper (none of the girls, even with their interests in 'ologies and 'isms, seem to care -- which sadly tracks, see Anne basically refusing to have a political opinion in House of Dreams. Gertrude, in fairness, is following the war news and mentions it to Rilla). It's interesting that part of the honor in fighting, for Jem, is entwined with defending the British Empire, considering it a family that they're a part of. Iiii...haven't developed any deep thoughts on this, lmao, I've always sort of taken it at face value that Jem -- and Ken, later -- feel this way as Anglo Dudes From 1914, particularly as there is a streak of...insularity, perhaps, in the books re: Anglo Canada. (But it is equally interesting that later on, characters express that they're fighting for Canada instead, not Britain.)
Walter's reaction to the war is telling -- he not only hates the idea (also, lol/sigh that they're just too civilized in the modern age of the twentieth century to go to war) but is kind of in denial about it, refusing to think of it and trying to distract himself with beautiful things.
âMary Vance is a habit of oursâwe canât do without her even when we are furious with her,â Di Blythe had once said.â
I suppose it says a lot about Mary's character and general self-confidence/lack of self-awareness that she hangs out with people who talk about her like this, because I would not, lol.
âCarl Meredith was walking with Miranda Pryor, more to torment Joe Milgrave than for any other reason.â
LMAO what did Joe Milgrave ever do to Carl? I can't quite make out what this says about Carl -- it doesn't really jive with any of his behavior in Rainbow Valley; he doesn't particularly enjoy getting a rise out of people (e.g. in the chapter where he's not whipped, he feels bad over throwing the eel in the buggy; in the rest of the book, he's almost like, blissfully unaware that his various critters freak other people out). I suppose you could read him as being a bit competitive, or simply that he still enjoys mildly teasing people (which makes his friendship with Rilla pretty funny, given that being teased harrows her soul). Of course, worth mentioning that there's also not much evidence that Rilla and Carl are still close at this point :(
âShirley Blythe was with Una Meredith and both were rather silent because such was their nature. Shirley was a lad of sixteen, sedate, sensible, thoughtful, full of a quiet humour. He was Susanâs âlittle brown boyâ yet, with his brown hair, brown eyes and clear brown skin. He liked to walk with Una Meredith because she never tried to make him talk or badgered him with chatter. â
Shirley being the personification of that "best friend I ever had, we still never talk sometimes" Parks and Rec quote, lol. The summation of him is so good, though -- despite what a nonentity he is compared to the other Blythe kids, you get such a good measure of him just from "sedate, sensible, thoughtful, full of a quiet humour." â€ïž I always go back and forth on the possibility of shipping him with Una -- it's lovely that Shirley appreciates her for who she is, that he likes that she's quiet and unassuming. On the other hand, like...what, do they never talk? Lmao. (Una also strikes me as having a bit of...repressed emotion, see her bottling things up and telling them to her mother's old wedding dress as a child, idk that Shirley would be able to draw that out of her...? But he is thoughtful and wholesome, so, maybe!)
âUna was as sweet and shy as she had been in the Rainbow Valley days, and her large, dark-blue eyes were as dreamy and wistful. She had a secret, carefully-hidden fancy for Walter Blythe which nobody but Rilla ever suspected. â
MY GIRL \O/ I've seen it said that it seems unlikely that no one but Rilla suspects Una's feelings for Walter, but I actually quite like it -- it hints at Rilla actually being empathetic and perceptive under her frivolity, which she'll grow into over the war.
âShe liked Una better than Faith, whose beauty and aplomb rather overshadowed other girlsâand Rilla did not enjoy being overshadowed.â
Lol, it is very on-brand for early Rilla to feel she's in competition with Faith -- and I'm sure Faith doesn't think about Rilla at all, being 4-5 years older than her. (That said, I sympathize with Rilla not being a Faith enjoyer -- even though she's set up as getting into Anne-like scrapes in RV, the books lean a little too hard on how charming and intelligent and beautiful she is; she loses the flawed, earnestly trying vibe that made Anne endearing imo.) (Also, I love Rilla and Una, but it cracks me up that Rilla basically just likes Una better because she doesn't see her as a threat.)
â bell was ringing in the little church over-harbour and the lingering dream-notes died around the dim, amethystine points. The gulf beyond was still silvery blue in the afterlight. Oh, it was all gloriousâthe clear air with its salt tang, the balsam of the firs, the laughter of her friends.â
I haven't been mentioning the nature descriptions because I don't really have anything to say about them other than they're lovely! Such a good sense of those moments when you're just happy, everything around you feels beautiful and you don't mind your problems in that moment -- and of course, the moment here is poised to be shattered very shortly.
âAnd how humanity responds to the ideal of self-sacrifice!â
Oooooh the foreshadowing! Also a very good summation of the theme of this book, in general -- there are other moments later that I think illustrate it more clearly so I won't go on too much about it now, but -- yeah, there's such a sense in this book of trying to understand and justify the pain of the war as a worthwhile sacrifice.
âWe know the real charm of night here as town dwellers never do.â
Hey, leave us town dwellers out of it >:( (I do have a city girl story of visiting family out in the country when I was twelve, and being shocked by how dark it actually got at night, lmao.)
âRilla flushed. It did not matter to her if Kenneth Ford walked home with Ethel Reese a dozen timesâit did not! Nothing that he did mattered to her. He was ages older than she was. He chummed with Nan and Di and Faith, and looked upon her, Rilla, as a child whom he never noticed except to tease.â
First mention of Ken! The funniest bit about this is that his name was originally "Selwyn", and the first like 2/3rds of Readying Rilla have every single mention of him written as "Selwyn Ken". Anyway -- there's kiiiind of a set up for Rilla and Ken here; he teases her and she hates it while secretly liking/wanting more of his attention. There's a short story in TBAQ that adds on to this (honestly, it reads a bit like it's still trying to explain Rilla/Ken twenty years later lmao) -- it mentions that Ken and Rilla fought a lot as children, implying that he liked getting a rise out of her, sort of in a "pulling on her pigtails" kind of way. (Also, again, Nan and Di are set apart from Rilla here đ)
some stuff from the glossary (minor frustration, the glossary isn't footnoted and is in alphabetical order, so you just kinda have to flip through it and try to remember what each entry is referencing):
More Readying Rilla bits:
After Rilla mentions that Jem and Faith will sit out on the rocks all evening, the next sentence starts with "They're", which is then crossed out and Rilla just starts talking about sailing to the lighthouse. While I'm sure it wasn't a big deal, it reads like someone being cut off right before saying something juicy lmao, tell meeee the Jem/Faith gossip
The line about Rilla being the only one unaware of the worry over the war originally said "only Rilla and Susan", lmao.
Miranda Pryor's name was originally Jennie.
Shirley's originally described as being "full of humor and quiet fun" (instead of "full of a quiet humor"), which does read as something a bit different to me -- the final version makes him sound like more like a quietly amused observer than someone that actually gets into hijinks.
Re: Rilla's silver slippers, the book says that Mrs. Ford (Leslie) sent them to her. The original draft says "Jean gave", which like...who tf is Jean?
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they really stopped the game at 5-6 30-40 and resumed it hours later for the last point? ............
#like okay i didn't watch the match at any point but this all sounded just. insane#i got like 10 different notifs for the match being interrupted and then resuming and again and again#which like okay fair i get it you can't control rain#but i swear at one point it resumed and then stopped again after 2 minutes ?????#and then like i'm sorry but was it really impossible to play that possibly last point? and then if it went 40-40 stop the match?#maybe it was! idk. but ..... 5-6 30-40 đđđđ and ik there was no way of knowing how much longer it would go on but........#she had to win ONE point and they both had to wait for the match to resume for hours for ONE POINT#could they not play one more point? :/ again maybe they really couldn't but it has to be considered that the players have to stay focused#and ready for all that time in-between. idk#nico rambles#if someone has watched and wants to be like hey actually it was the right choice bc x then please do#this is just a bit bizarre to me
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You will get to it, eventually. But there's no rush.
-> More Outer Wilds Art!
#outer wilds#outer wilds spoilers#time buddies#idk how this comic happened#the concept appeared on my mind and boom there you go 10 drawings#but like can we talk about the idea of hatchling postponing the loop bc they just aren't ready yet#and learning to do everything reading all the books exploring every last place of the solar system#like i think there is a very thin line between getting ready to do something and avoiding something#(that's another whole discussion lol)#but just thinking about them being ready one day after understanding that that's what they have to do#and finally letting go#idk man i really like time loops
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IF IT (the fabricated nature of the reality youâve been sucked into/the creeping realization you should be somewhere and someone much worse) SUCKS, HIT DA BRICKS!!
#nene trying to run from fantasy until they reach her reality together#vs mitsuba suggesting they run from the reality he knows they should be inâŠ. even if he doesnât think itâll work in the end#and hanako pretending not to remember. to have been fictional from the start. in an effort to keep nene alive#vs kou looking away from what he knows is probably the truth#bc mitsubaâs alive! his momâs alive! his life as an exorcist is a little dangerous sometimes but heâs ok. he has free time after school to#help with the school festival and see his friends and make new ones#ok the differences in how these realities are treated in the narrative and the characterâs reactions to them are so interesting <3#shijimaâs painting is just that - a preserved piece of artwork#a kind existence but a shallow one - especially for nene who would be imprisoned there#but the clock keeperâs world! thatâs reality babey!#the sun isnât just yellow paint. you could fall right through the clouds#mitsuba gets to live and kou gets to be there with him and nene gets to grow up!! like amane did!! until those hopes fall through#itâs enough to say maybe thereâs a world out there where we could be sort of happy and sort of safe and where we could grow old.#but itâs not this one. and even if it was itâs not where we belong#but no wonder that nene wanted to stay! and that kou didnât want to remember! and that mitsuba was ready to run from what he knew was an#inevitable truth!!#idk the way jshk discusses reality is so interesting to meee like functionally shijimaâs painting is reality when youâre in there#the difference between that and the reality the clock keepers make by changing the timeline is that you know one is âfakeâ#once you know the painting is fake you canât stay. but once you know donât belong in the clock keeperâs reality you canât stay there either#all you have is your own. good and bad itâs yours nonetheless and you have to live there#sorry for all the tags I just caught up and love to yap <3#tbhk#toilet bound hanako kun#tbhk manga spoilers#jshk#jibaku shounen hanako kun#yashiro nene#mitsuba sousuke#kou minamoto#tbhk hanako
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first of all
FUCKING WOW!
i never thought i would see the day you had a Fansly! thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you! thank you!
i subbed to your "My Lovers" tier and liked and commented on everything! i cannot wait to see what you post next!
ABSOLUTELY GLORIOUS!
Check out my fansly đ„șđ
#you heard it here first folks!!#my Fansly is started and I canât wait to post more đ„°đ#I know it took me literally ages to finally take the plunge and do it#my anxiety and a few other things kept getting in my way#but long story short Iâm through with being controlled by that#i desperately need to move#and since im in between jobs and not working right now#think now is as good of time as ever đ€·đœââïž#my birthday is tomorrow (đ€ź)#so if you want to make me smile and celebrate with me - sub to my fansly and start rosie month right âșïž#Iâm also going to add a few more things to my wishlist#I was working on my wishlist and then everything happened with my og blog so I stopped#rude that shein and throne arenât associated anymore so Iâm going to try and do idk like cash gifts and then Iâll buy it directly??#but honestly the main thing I want right now?#tips đ„ș#or sub to my fansly and like and comment on everything so far! (like this lovely anon did đ)#thatâs seriously the best thing you could do for me so thank you so so so SO much my dear anon đ„șđđđ#man I wish those sugar daddies were real đ€ yes I would like a weekly allowance and I would like for you to pay for my rent pls and thank yo#anywayyy I should probably get ready for my party soon but I just wanna chill and smoke and post and talk to you guys đ„șđ€#thank you so so SO much anon đ„°#I canât wait for you to see all the goodies I have ready to post#and all the new content I take too đ«Łđ#Iâm sending you so many kisses and hugs and love đđđđđ#ask#anon
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Beyblade X Ep 34: A Rainbow Guest
GES SJACSLSVWJEVEJEVENEBB BC LABJEBWEVD KB VEJEDV WHAT IN THE OMINOUS SPINNING DRAKE IS THIS EPISODE
Okay, first off, I WAS SO DISTRAUGHT AFTER GETTING HIT WITH A FOUND FAMILY EPISODE THEN WE GET HIT WITH JAXONâS TEAMMATE, SIGRID NANAIRO AND HER REALLY BLUNT ATTITUDE TO EVERYTHING EXCEPT SUSHI. Okay Iâm gonna be honest, I did get spoiled that she was Multiâs sister BUT LEGITIMATELY IâM STILL SURPRISED
She and Jaxon are similar but not at the same time??? I mean they both love Komaba Sushi (I figured ever since Memories of Sushi ep because the bigger set was given to her while Chrome was too busy focusing on Jaxon and getting fed blah blah blah and yeah) AND THEYâRE PRETTY BLUNT but Jaxon seems to prefer choose his words while she prefers to choose her actions
The way Robin went to grab the mask and practically suffocated Jaxon had me giggling, LIKE DO THEY JUST HAVE IT ON STANDBY???


Like he was so happy to see her and now heâs getting choked by his hair in the mask
Anyways when Robin was surprised she knew him I figured heâd put two and two together, since in the first ep he knew Jaxon was part of Team Pendragon and so was she? Mini plot hole I suppose
BUT YEAH I noticed throughout the episode Robin kept defending Multi from Sigrid even though he keeps getting cut off which, GAHHHHHH AND EARLIER DURING THE VOTES SHE TRIED TO COMFORT HIM theyâre adorable honestly
anyways the reactions when Robin and Jaxon find out theyâre sisters đ


THIS IS THE MOST HORRIFIED EXPRESSION IVE SEEN JAXON EXPRESS IM CRYING WHY DOES HE LOOK SO MORTIFIED
and later on we get a look at baby Multi and Sigrid, WHICH OMG I WANNA DRAW MULTI WITH SHORT HAIR NOW
andâŠ. BabadudumâŠ. You guessed it⊠why Iâm immediately posting my reaction to thisâŠ.



We get a lovely momentary session where Chrome is slowly continuing to lose it over Jaxon in the corner of a room while Sigrid sits there like the bestie who has to hear about her friendâs relationship problems
CHROME YES I WANTED TO SEE YOU BUT NOT LIKE THIS, HAVE A DAMN SLICE OF LIFE MOMENT OR SOMETHING HELP
and thennnn some shady shit just casually breaks into Komaba Sushi and steals the bey plans Multi had. Hello, how does no one spot this THEY HAVE TWO HUGE ASS BUILDINGS SURROUNDING THEM???
#beyblade x#notkamenx thoughts#IM SORRY I SWORE A BIT IN THIS POST I JUST IM ABSOLUTELY JUST. NOT OKAY AFTER THIS???#all screenshots from Beyblade X you can see this on YouTube with weekly releases or on Disney XD I think#ANYWAYS LIKE. I. I think I said all that needed to be said#oh but the first half of the ep there was a women that look like she could be related to Titus/King#so uh yeah thatâs interesting#I do not trust Packun and if he tries anything Iâm ready to throw hands but the happy looking guy looks not suspicious#hopefully he doesnât have a crappy attitude I have all eyes on this team rn#BUT YEAH SIGRID APPEARANCE IS she is so scary sometimes from our baby birdâs POV#but overall sheâs just overly blunt and not too bad#the fact she said sheâs not passing any message on from Jaxon to Chrome because he wonât listen đ#I CANT GET OVER THESE THREE PANELS#CHROME PLEASE PULL IT TOGETHER JAXONâS NOT COMING BACK#YOU KNEW FROM THE START PROBABLY HE DOES SPONTANEOUS DECISIONS LIKE THIS#speaking of spontaneous decisions Jaxon said he did leave suddenly and Sigrid wasnât mad or surprised#HOW CAN SHE FIGURE OUT JAXON AND ACCEPT HIS DECISIONS MORE QUICKLY THAN CHROME#to know that I need to know why Chromeâs so attached and obsessed with Jaxon#THIS CANNOT JUST BE OVER BEYBLADES MY MAN HAS TO HAVE AN EMOTIONAL CONNECTION OR SOMETHING#he literally landed an xtreme finish on his own copyâs bey#also this episode had me thinking of the skill gap between Pendragon and Persona#wait thatâs so cool both teams names start with a P#is that intentional idk BUT ANYWAYS APART FROM JAXON this episode put into perspective how scarily strong Sigrid is and#further emphasis on Chromeâs strength#Iâm not loving this PLEASE I HAD TO PAUSE THE EPISODE SO MANY TIMES DURING ROBINâS BATFLE#anyways I was glad to see Chrome but like#man Chrome you have issues someone needs to give him a therapy appointment#this whole episode just left me distraught I ranted so much more in the post and the tags#now I wanna go sleep and hope that maybe I can cook something with this new info while I dream#I actually do have multiple fic ideas in my notes and some of them are written but eh theyâre not good
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really hope the rumors of s5 being split in two arenât true
they couldnât handle one month apart between parts 1 & 2 of s4 because the fucking ST monopoly game had spoilers on it for eddieâs death đ how the hell are they gonna pull off nearly a year apart if they split s5 đ
#like any rumors I try not to buy into them but this is fucked if true#the cast is ready to move on with their lives and careers and man that production crew has got to be overworked to no fucking end#all that rushing and crunch time and theyâre still like hey lol maybe we should split between end of 2025 and summer of 2026#again none of this is confirmed afaik but I also canât help to wonder if Netflix has a hand in dragging it out#they know theyâre toast once ST ends. I know squid game is doing well but theyâre definitely gonna lose streamers once ST is over#other than that idk what else Netflix has to keep subscribers lol but maybe Iâm out of the loop on other things#sure ainât worth the prices thatâs for sure. okay sorry Iâm rambling bye.#house.txt
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whatâs up with me and plane crashing dreams. perhaps my life long obsession with the show air crash investigations is hitting or smth
#this is the second time in a row#I slept like four hours but i still managed to dream something#and I dreamed all of this between this post and my last reblog.#basically it all started that I was reading a post (idk if it was Twitter) of a woman saying that she had to wait for 3 hours on a airplane#for the bathroom to free and she had to stay awake the entire time#and a moment later I was on that plane too. watching her. I was about to return to my seat (I think). also i was in first class. the only#way Iâll ever experience it) but OUT OF THE NOWHERE my last year surpervisor for an expo and her husband (which I saw once a picture) stand#up. and she starts screaming something about âsomething sweet coming for womenââŠ? I have no idea what that means. but all the women/girls#on the airplane stand up (they were all sleeping before) and start to crowd in front of me and i start to feel like we are going down. DOWN.#and we were in fact. going down. crashing. and I was scared as hell so while everyone was laughing/celebrating (???) I was screaming of#horror. but just before we crash I wake up and Iâm in my bed (but I know Iâm still dreaming. because itâs like a slow downloading of the#image). I wake up and I decided Iâm late for school (which i donât have) and I get ready quickly and I march in full force to the bus statio#then I realize there is no school and Iâm outside at 5am. I found a supermarket cart and idk why but I take it with me and only when I get#home I realize that the supermarket is nowhere close to my house (like irl) and now I have a freacking shipping cart and I decided to park#it in my garage#and then my mom woke me up as my alarm for 7am went off.#I feel like by brain has been fucked. Iâm not used anymore to sleeping poorly because Iâve taken a great interest in better sleeping since#last year and I canât stand this now ugh.#good morning people tho#dream
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i feel like what rubs me most wrong abt a lot of blanket nd vs nt statements is tht for the love of the creators of the universe neurodivergency has no standard behaviour except tnt it's not 'standard' behaviour. so ur shitting on nt for doing whatever n glorifying and exalting nd bc they are the opposite and better and Superior is most times actually just shitting on a human quality exhibited to some degree by a large number of humans nd n nt alike. n the nd subset reading tht are just gonna wrongly feel bad abt themselves. i wld add tht the nt ppl are also gonna wrongly feel bad abt themselves but tht was your goal all along so you already know tht.
#it's very hard to distinguish certain behaviours as explicitly nd when nd is such a wide huge enormous category#so most times it's just coming across as i only recognize asd/adhd as nd#also idk like#as a kid two of my peers had high needs asd n down syndrome siblings#so when those parents were waiting with those siblings for us to finish class#the nd kids wld interact#n it's like it was nvr smooth?#as in were there more or less 'conflict' than 'typical' kids tht age? tht i cnt recall#but was it just all smooth sailing n perfect understanding n interaction between them bc they're both nd? for sure no#like obvi a majority of ppl with a certain nd wld share certain traits which may make interactions among them perfect#as compared to when they interact with nt population#but if u mix said group of nd with another group you're gonna again encounter not as smooth interaction ps#this site is always so ready to shit on stupid tiktok nd claims etc#but all the popular posts made here on the topic are just as silly#cloud nonsense
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On Day 4 of my No Napping streak đ
#yall dont understand how bad my napping problem was#and im not even joking. for the last dour years i can count on two hands the amount of days i didnt nap#literally most of the last four years has been sleeping#but recently i got burnt out and slept for two days straight with like. two breaks to take care of my dog#(i have a sibling who also cares for the dog i havent been neglecting him)#and that whole mess reset my sleep schedule (i slipped into sleeping during the day and staying awake all night for a couple weeks)#and made it so i dont have to nap i guess because i haven't needed to#its been super weird. i have so much more time now and its hard to fill it#one day i went to the coffee shop and walgreens and the coinstar machine. and did laundry and other tidying#yesterday and today ive cooked whole meals. yesterday it was tortellini and broccoli and garlic bread#like idk how to explain it but thats so out of character for me#literally every day of my life for the last four years has been wake up. to go to work. stay up all night maybe. sleep until work#but now im... getting better i think? it seems better#i have an hour before i have to get ready for work (going in early because theres a bar crawl today and the other concierge wants help)#so im debating between playing on my phone in bed and enjoying the fresh air and sunlight coming from my window#or doing some cleaning and packing. i kind of want to do this because yesterday i had a nightmare that it was moving day and i wasnt ready#it was terrifying. so yeah ill probs get in some cleaning#wish me luck tonight! its saturday (busiest day of the week) and a bar crawl (the literal worst)
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